extracted text

Her/an
cimarron alliance founda ion presents

stop hate in the hallways 2
hur sda).

tO\

embe-r "3, i 002

The director of an organization focused on preventing
violence and prejudice in schools and colleges has been
invited to provide the keynote address at the upcoming
Stop Hate in the Hallways 2 Conference: Strategies for
Preventing School Violence.
The one-day conference presented by the Cimarron
Alliance
Foundation is set
for Thursday,
.
Nov. 13, at the
..,..
.•·.
\ ..\ .
National Center
.
for Employee
-...:
~
'::
Development,
n~
2801 E. State
Hwy. 9, Norman.
The
conference
~~·: :-•··
in the hallways
"
.·;.
will address
hands-on
strategies for
preventing school
violence and will feature a keynote address by Stephen
L. Wessler, director of the Center for the Prevention of
Hate Violence at the University of Southern Maine and
former Maine assistant attorney general.

..
'11
...
.

STQrtiAtE
_;

Organizers hope educators, policy makers, attorneys, law
enforcement personnel and community leaders will
attend the conference, which will focus training on the
intervention and prevention of bullying and harassment.
"This conference has been developed out of concern for
all children and youth who may be bullied or harassed in

•
2008 annual fall peace
festival
saturday, november 1 5
10 am-4 pm
The annual Fall Peace Festival is one
of the Oklahoma City Peace House's
premier contributions to the Oklahoma City peace and justice community. Organizations from across the
state display their information or sell
their fair
trade goods
to holiday
shoppers.
Organizations that
participate
are too numerous to
name, but range from the Oklahoma
Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty, to the Gay & Lesbian Political
Caucus, to the First Unitarian Church's
Peace & Justice Committee, to the
Department of Peace.
Thousands of people each year come
through the Peace Festival, browsing
the table and purchasing holiday gifts.
Entertainment is provided all day
long, from 10:00 to 4:00. The Fall
Peace Festival is held in the Civic
Center, Hall of Mirrors, 201 N.
Walker.

(continued page 4)
The Herland Voice is a publication of Herland Sister Resources, 2312 NW 39th, OKC, OK 73112. Our bookstore/lending library is open Saturdays from 1-5 pm. Call us at (405) 521-9696 or email us at herland@herlandsisters.org. Visit us on the web at www.herlandsisters.org.

-

barbecue at herland
5. 30 p. m. saturday
november 8
Join us for an evening meal of barbecue ribs
at Herland on Saturday, November 8, at
Herland. If it's good weather, we ' ll be in the
backyard, if it's cold or damp, we ' ll be
inside. Either way, we are bringing in BBQ
ribs, potato salad , baked beans, dessert and
drinks. All for only $6.00! We start at 5:30
p.m. and play some games afterward.

herland work day
1 p. m. saturday
november 16
We need to take care of some regular and
special maintenance at Herland before
winter. If you can spare a couple of hours,
please drop by and help. We'll be patching a
hole in the eaves where squirrels are getting
in the attic and doing some general cleanup
and painting. Everyone is needed!

holiday open house
5: 30-7: 30 p. m. saturday
november 29
After the dust has settled from Thanksgiving
and you ' re ready for something a little more
sane, come by Herland for some pie, coffee,
and relaxing with friends. We' ll have
everything, just come by and visit.

biblio bits
Over the last few months, Herland has
become aware that many of our classic titles
from the library are missing. The books have
been checked out but not returned . You
won't owe any fine but please return the
books. If you are not able to bring the books
on Saturday when we are open, call 521-9696
and leave a message with a phone number on
the answering machine and arrangements
will be made to meet on another day or
place. Thanks!

-

(

-

-

•

<

-

_ r1ovember
..

.

~

..,

'

:

,/._

-'.

'~

,:._

- ....

_,.

-

~ •

.,

I

-

EVENTS;~~...
"'..

- ; .... .

.

Louise a Mary Saturday November 1 Fu~I
Circle Bookstore 7-9 pm no cover
Election Day Tuesday November 4 7 am- 7
pm
PFLAG-OKC Tuesday November 4 Church of
the Open Arms 7 pm
Herfand Barbecue and Blues Saturday November 8 at Her!and 5:30 pm $6
OGLPC Monthly Meeting Monday November10 1236 NW 36 7 pm
PFLAG-Norman Thursday November 13
St Stephens 7 pm
Sisters of Swing Friday November 14 UCO
Jazz Lab 8 to 11 pm $ 7
Peace Festival Saturday November 15 Civic
Center Hall of Mirrors 10 am to 4 pm
Her/and Work Day Sunday November 16 1
pm
Her/and Board Meeting Sunday November
16 4 pm
OKC PRIDE General Meeting Monday November 17 Neighborhood Alliance 1236 NW
36 7pm
Miss Brown to You Tuesday November 18
Galileo Bar & Grill 3009 Paseo 8:30 to 11 pm
no cover
Covert Union in concert Saturday November
22 7:30 pm Church of the Open Arms $5
suggested donation
Holiday Open House at Herland Saturday November 29 5:30 pm

breast cancer: should _1ou join
c. suppot-t group?
from www.care2.com
"I'm sorry. It's cancer." With four words, your
life is upended. What do you do? Where do you
go? How do you find the information and support
you need? One option is the cancer support
group.
My history of participation in cancer support
groups began in 1991 with my first breast cancer
diagnosis; I received my sixth this year. My first
group taught me how to live with cancer. I've
been perfecting my skills and passing on what
I've learned ever since. For over four years I
have co-facilitated two support groups for young
people with cancer, one specifically for women
with breast cancer, and the other for women
and men with cancer of all types.
I found that first group among the classifieds in
a neighborhood weekly, when the Internet was
still in its nascent stage. I was relieved to find a
group that catered to my specific needs-I sought
information about alternative treatments for
cancer-while I was simultaneously terrified and
determined to hang on to my autonomy. Sometimes as many as 13 women showed up in my
drop-in group.
We were different ages at different stages with
different cancers, but we all wanted to know
what else we could choose along with, or instead of, the standard offering of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I was 38 and, until
three months before, felt little need for conventional medicine beyond my annual visits to the
gynecologist and dentist. My preferred form of
medical care was acupuncture and I was wellversed in several kinds of non-Western healing
traditions. When the lump found by my gynecologist turned out to be malignant, I naturally
sought more unconventional ways to deal with it
before going further with recommended treatment.
I received far more than information: Most of my
breast cancer peers in that first support group
had metastatic disease and were undergoing
treatments through clinical trials for drugs that
are now standard protocols. In my two years of
attendance, I watched them navigate treatment
failures and shift their priorities to choices
about how to live while dying. I'm glad I had the
fortitude to stay. I owe everything I know about

living with a life-threatening disease to them. Four years
later, my disease would metastasize, too, and all the lessons
were there to guide me: the best practitioners; the appropriate treatments to add to the conventional methods I did
choose; and the knowledge that we can keep on healing even
as our disease progresses and, in some cases, outlives us.

FINDING A SUPPORT GROUP THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU
Support groups are great for many, but they're not for everyone. Like cancer treatments, they ' re not one-size-fits-all, but
you can try them on and you can try more than one. Sometimes you have to shop around, just like you do with oncologists and treatment plans. They're not therapy, even when
they're led by psychotherapists; they don't provide
"treatment". An effective group should offer mutual support,
a shared commitment to respecting members' choices, and
an exchange of resources and wisdom-rather than advice.
This is a time for listening deeply to your needs, or, as a wise
friend once proffered, to "follow your pulls." If you decide to
investigate, here are some points to consider as you identify
your preferences:
Leadership

Some groups are led by peers, others by experienced counselors, nurses, doctors, psychotherapists, or spiritual teachers.
Ask yourself which you prefer or try on a couple to answer
that question.
Demographics

Pay attention to where, and with whom, you feel most comfortable. A good place to start is a support group with women
who have recently been diagnosed and are roughly your age.
You may find, though, that you want to hear from a more
diverse group of people with cancer. If so, seek out mixedgender groups or multi-generational ones. For metastatic
cancer, whether at initial diagnosis or recurrence, consider
looking for groups devoted to this stage of disease.
Closed or Drop-in?

Closed groups have the same members at each session, sometimes for a finite number of meetings. In this setting, some
find it easier to trust and develop intimacy. Members may
change frequently in drop-in groups, though often a core
group develops and attends consistently. Drop-ins offer flexibility and the opportunity to hear new voices and viewpoints.
Focus

When starting out, or even when returning (if cancer recurs),
you will most likely be focused on treatment options, decision-making, and the consequences and effects of your
choices. It's a given that you will also delve into the emotional aspects of this major life transition and, if you are so
inclined, into the spiritual. You may be drawn to groups designed for working with cancer through art, writing and other
forms of creative expression.

stop hate
Wow! Things here in Mississippi have
changed and we can now truly say we are
Ovettians! Our neighbors now love us and
help us in any way they can. We and all our
supporters came through for this little community after Katrina. Many who would have
never even come to this sacred space were
forced through a terrible situation to "get to
know us." We are a pivotal member of this
community now and to the surrounding areas.
Our co-founder, Brenda Henson died this past
February. To say this was a huge blow to us is
an incredible understatement. Even the trees
are grieving her loss.
We are still operating at full capacity. However, costs have sky rocketed and our supporters are suffering through this economic
nightmare as well. We just purchased propane for the winter months and only filled
the two main tanks to save money. The cost
is $880.
We are respectfully asking for your assistance
in raising money to pay this particular bill.
We need to get the rest of the propane tanks
filled but cannot even think about doing it
until we can get this paid. We know that
many of you, like us, have little to give. But,
you do know other people and they know others and so on and so forth. Would you please
assist us and ask your friends and family to
consider helping us. We are a non-profit organization and donations are tax deductible.
We have a Paypal link on our web site :
www.campsisterspirit.com or our address is
PO Box 12, Ovett, MS 39464. If we could get
800 people to send just $1.00 it would solve
the problem and ease our worried minds for
at least THIS winter.
Thanking you in advance.
Andrea Gibbs-Henson, M. Ed.
Sister Spirit, Incorporated

(continued from page 1)

our schools today," said Randy Tate, Cimarron
board member and conference organizer.
"National data on bullying and harassment
suggest that bullies most often target children
and youth who differ from the mainstream
population because of a religious, racial,
gender or sexual orientation bias."
Between 2000 and 2005, FBI data show simple
assault in schools went from 16,898 reported
cases to 129,675 cases, and intimidation went
from 5, 154 to 35, 715 cases. According to data
analyzed by Harris Interactive, for example, 68
percent of Latino students have been harassed
or assaulted in high school and 90 percent of
LGBT students have reported similar situations.
Wessler will provide keynote remarks during
the conference. His center develops and
implements programs in schools, colleges and
communities to prevent bias, prejudice,
harassment and violence and promotes writing
and teaching on issues relating to biasmotivated violence. He has conducted scores
of trainings on preventing hate violence to
educators, students, police officers and
community members. In 1998, Wessler
participated in the U.S. Department of
Justice's Working Group, which developed and
piloted the National Hate Crimes Training
Curriculum.
"Stephen Wessler is strong advocate in the fight
against school violence. His no-nonsense
approach brings the entire school community administrators, faculty, parents, students,
even the school bus drivers - into the fight to
make our schools safe for every child," said
Rob Howard, Cimarron Alliance Foundation
executive director. "He excludes no children in
his efforts, regarding violence against gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgendered youth to
be as much of a concern to the community as
religious, ethnic, and racial discrimination.
This is going to be an exceptional one-day
conference."
Beth Reis, a health educator from Seattle,
(continued on next page)

planned parenthood of central oklahoma
Tulsa health care provider, Reproductive
Services, is suing the state of Oklahoma,
asking the state to throw out the law, and
seeking an injunction to prevent the onerous and harmful Senate Bill 1878 from
taking effect November 1st.
SB 1878 was passed in April after the legislature overrode a Governor's veto. The
bill requires women to view an ultrasound
one hour prior to an abortion procedure.
This includes listening to a detailed description of the ultrasound image. Additionally, the bill includes a refusal clause
which shatters the balance between the
conscience of the health care provider
and the needs of the patient and legislates additional guidelines in administering the medication abortion pill. For a
comprehensive look at the law, you can
view SB 1878 online.
The Center fofReproductive Rights is representing Reproductive Services. They

stop hate

state that the law intrudes on a patient's privacy,
endangers her health and assaults her dignity.
The law also prevents a woman's doctor from using his or her medical judgment for treatment.
"Governments should stop playing doctor and
leave medical determinations to physicians and
health decisions to individuals," said Stephanie
Toti, a staff attorney for the U.S. Legal Program,
a division of the Center for Reproductive Rights.
Read more about this at the Tulsa World and at
Truthout. org.
Linda Meek, executive administrator of Reproductive Services in Tulsa, said if the law takes effect,
it will be very difficult for her nonprofit clinic to
survive. She said the law is an effort to throw up
barriers to women who want an abortion. The law
will make it more difficult for doctors at the
clinic and will be very costly.
Planned Parenthood of Central Oklahoma will be
watching the developments of this lawsuit very
carefully and update you, our supporters, as developments unfold.

(continued from previous page)

Wash., and co-founder of the Safe Schools Coalition, also will conduct two workshops that will center
on helping campuses become safe places where every educator can teach and every child can learn
regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
State Attorney General Drew Edmonson is slated to provide opening comments for the conference,
which will also feature a panel of high school students who will discuss real-life examples of
harassment in their own schools.
Total tuition for the conference is $75, which includes lunch as well as five continuing-educational
units (CEUs), three of them for Ethics, for licensed mental health professionals. Training certificates
will be given to educators to apply for educational credits with their districts.
The first Stop Hate in the Hallways was held in October 2007 and drew more than 350 attendees from
more than 20 Oklahoma communities. Cimarron was supported by 53 partner organizations, including
national, state and local nonprofit organizations and three government agencies to develop and
promote the conference. Kevin Jennings, founder and chief executive officer for GLSEN, was the
featured keynote speaker.
For more information about the conference or the Cimarron Alliance Foundation, visit
www.stophateinthehallways.org or www.cimarronalliance.org.

gendertng america at IA

gallery

saturday, december 13, 2008-6-9 pm
Individual Artists of Oklahoma is proud to announce a challenging exhibition of contemporary
art, titled Gendering America, slated to run from November 20, 2008 through January 9,
2009. This group exhibit of visual art created by artists from across the nation, as well as
Oklahoma, is intended to investigate and explore the impact of culture on gender
development in America. "The artists in this exhibit address how we develop behaviors that
are identified as masculine, feminine, or somewhere in between, as well as how those choices
affect our personal and social lives," said IAO Executive Director, Jeff Stokes, who is curating
the exhibition.
"Each of these artists is interested in how men and women in America define and act out
gender in relation to cultural memes," Said Stokes. " Are there natural forces and instincts
that inform our choices, or are those "choices" guided by social agreement within a range of
acceptable categories? How have the last 40 years, with the advent of Feminism, the Sexual
Revolution and Gay Rights issues affected gender self-awareness/perception?"
"I found so many excellent artists addressing these issues," said Stokes, "that I was able to
bring together a wide range of perspectives which IAO hopes will generate important dialogue
about gender in our community."
Gendering America will feature works by artists John Hammer, Ursula McCarty, Angela Piehl,
Morgan Price, Derek Grant Smalling, Mary Lou Stokes and Ann-Maree Walker.
"My work is an attempt to grapple with the weighty questions concerning gender and the
formation of the self. I see the body as an active site of a variety of power plays, a tablet for
the inscriptions and augmentations of the self . It is vulnerable to external manipulation by
sources such as the media and advertising. Even the very clothing and accessories that adorn
the body are codified surfaces that are read and interpreted by others," says St. Louis artist,
Ann-Maree Walker.
California Artist, John Hammer, investigates the ever evolving role and identity of gay men in
America. Hammer states: "When I was in my twenties, way back in the late eighties and early
nineties, being out was a political statement in its self. Now, being out is almost passe in its
mainstream modernity." "How is our identity defined when the aspect of absorption is within
reach, and reaching such, we leave behind a history of "otherness"? Can we be both
mainstream and queer?"
There will be an Artist's Reception, open to the public, on Saturday, December 13th, 2008
from 6-9 pm, at IAO Gallery.

soutforce mourns the passing of del martin
This week, our community lost one of its
great sheroes, Del Martin. Del and her
partner, Phyllis Lyon, have been legends
within the lesbian community for as long
as I can remember.
Born in San Francisco in May of 1921, Del
met Phyllis in 1950 and shortly thereafter
they founded the first national lesbian
Phyllis Lyon & Del Martin
organization, Daughters of
Bilitis. Understanding the relationship of
religious dogma in the oppression of gays and lesbians, Martin and
Lyon in 1964 joined religious and gay community leaders to form the
Council on Religion and the Homosexual (CRH), which was at the
forefront of the movement to gain religious support on gay rights
issues.
Martin was the author of "Battered Wives" (1976) and the co-author
of "Lesbian/Woman" with Lyon (1972). She was first out lesbian
elected to the National Organization for Women (NOW).
Del and Phyllis' role in gay and lesbian rights was publicly
acknowledged when the mayor of San Francisco announced that they
would be the first to be legally married in California on June 16th of
this year. After 58 years as partners, the two were at long last able
to marry.
All of us at Soulforce are grateful for the relentless activism of
Del Martin throughout the years and we send our heartfelt
condolences to her wife, Phyllis.

tulsa election night watch party
Get out the vote, then come join Oklahomans for Equality on Tuesday, November 4th, for OkEq's Election Night Watch Party. The party will be from 7:00 p.m. til 10:00 p.m. in the Sue Welch Hall at the
Dennis R. Neill Equality Center, 621 E. 4th Street (4th and Kenosha), in Tulsa. Drinks and refreshments will be available. Drawings every hour. Watch parties will continue after 10:00 p.m. at The
Eagle and Club Mavericks. Log Cabin Republicans and Stonewall Democrats will have information tables available. Call 918. 743.4297 for more info.

I:
I

Ginny Poindexter
Realtor
Direct
Office
Fax

E-mail

405.919.8443
405.948.7500
405.948.7502
ginnypoindexter@kw.com

KELLER \"'ILLLA..11-S

Vicki Escajeda, BA, CM (405) 202-7051

5629 N. Classen Blvd.
Oklahoma City, OK 73118

P.O. Box 12247, Oklahoma City, OK 73157- 2247-(405) 637-8000

Each office is independently owned and operated.

Sandy Ingraham, J.D. , M.S.W.
Attorney-at-Law
Ingraham & Associates, PLLC
Estate Planning, Wills, Trusts, Probate, Adoption, Contracts

Dr. Dawn Singleton, Ph.D.

Licensed Professional Counselor
Licensed Marital & Family Therapist

5005 N. Pennsylvania #204 OKC, OK
405-232-3296
Route 2, Box 369-B
McLoud, OK 74851

Tel. (405) 964-2072
Ingraham@mcloudteleco.com

Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

Return Service Requested

FREE HOUR CONSULTATION

Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861



Her/an
cimarron alliance founda ion presents

stop hate in the hallways 2
hur sda).

tO\

embe-r "3, i 002

The director of an organization focused on preventing
violence and prejudice in schools and colleges has been
invited to provide the keynote address at the upcoming
Stop Hate in the Hallways 2 Conference: Strategies for
Preventing School Violence.
The one-day conference presented by the Cimarron
Alliance
Foundation is set
for Thursday,
.
Nov. 13, at the
..,..
.•·.
\ ..\ .
National Center
.
for Employee
-...:
~
'::
Development,
n~
2801 E. State
Hwy. 9, Norman.
The
conference
~~·: :-•··
in the hallways
"
.·;.
will address
hands-on
strategies for
preventing school
violence and will feature a keynote address by Stephen
L. Wessler, director of the Center for the Prevention of
Hate Violence at the University of Southern Maine and
former Maine assistant attorney general.

..
'11
...
.

STQrtiAtE
_;

Organizers hope educators, policy makers, attorneys, law
enforcement personnel and community leaders will
attend the conference, which will focus training on the
intervention and prevention of bullying and harassment.
"This conference has been developed out of concern for
all children and youth who may be bullied or harassed in

•
2008 annual fall peace
festival
saturday, november 1 5
10 am-4 pm
The annual Fall Peace Festival is one
of the Oklahoma City Peace House's
premier contributions to the Oklahoma City peace and justice community. Organizations from across the
state display their information or sell
their fair
trade goods
to holiday
shoppers.
Organizations that
participate
are too numerous to
name, but range from the Oklahoma
Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty, to the Gay & Lesbian Political
Caucus, to the First Unitarian Church's
Peace & Justice Committee, to the
Department of Peace.
Thousands of people each year come
through the Peace Festival, browsing
the table and purchasing holiday gifts.
Entertainment is provided all day
long, from 10:00 to 4:00. The Fall
Peace Festival is held in the Civic
Center, Hall of Mirrors, 201 N.
Walker.

(continued page 4)
The Herland Voice is a publication of Herland Sister Resources, 2312 NW 39th, OKC, OK 73112. Our bookstore/lending library is open Saturdays from 1-5 pm. Call us at (405) 521-9696 or email us at herland@herlandsisters.org. Visit us on the web at www.herlandsisters.org.

-

barbecue at herland
5. 30 p. m. saturday
november 8
Join us for an evening meal of barbecue ribs
at Herland on Saturday, November 8, at
Herland. If it's good weather, we ' ll be in the
backyard, if it's cold or damp, we ' ll be
inside. Either way, we are bringing in BBQ
ribs, potato salad , baked beans, dessert and
drinks. All for only $6.00! We start at 5:30
p.m. and play some games afterward.

herland work day
1 p. m. saturday
november 16
We need to take care of some regular and
special maintenance at Herland before
winter. If you can spare a couple of hours,
please drop by and help. We'll be patching a
hole in the eaves where squirrels are getting
in the attic and doing some general cleanup
and painting. Everyone is needed!

holiday open house
5: 30-7: 30 p. m. saturday
november 29
After the dust has settled from Thanksgiving
and you ' re ready for something a little more
sane, come by Herland for some pie, coffee,
and relaxing with friends. We' ll have
everything, just come by and visit.

biblio bits
Over the last few months, Herland has
become aware that many of our classic titles
from the library are missing. The books have
been checked out but not returned . You
won't owe any fine but please return the
books. If you are not able to bring the books
on Saturday when we are open, call 521-9696
and leave a message with a phone number on
the answering machine and arrangements
will be made to meet on another day or
place. Thanks!

-

(

-

-

•

<

-

_ r1ovember
..

.

~

..,

'

:

,/._

-'.

'~

,:._

- ....

_,.

-

~ •

.,

I

-

EVENTS;~~...
"'..

- ; .... .

.

Louise a Mary Saturday November 1 Fu~I
Circle Bookstore 7-9 pm no cover
Election Day Tuesday November 4 7 am- 7
pm
PFLAG-OKC Tuesday November 4 Church of
the Open Arms 7 pm
Herfand Barbecue and Blues Saturday November 8 at Her!and 5:30 pm $6
OGLPC Monthly Meeting Monday November10 1236 NW 36 7 pm
PFLAG-Norman Thursday November 13
St Stephens 7 pm
Sisters of Swing Friday November 14 UCO
Jazz Lab 8 to 11 pm $ 7
Peace Festival Saturday November 15 Civic
Center Hall of Mirrors 10 am to 4 pm
Her/and Work Day Sunday November 16 1
pm
Her/and Board Meeting Sunday November
16 4 pm
OKC PRIDE General Meeting Monday November 17 Neighborhood Alliance 1236 NW
36 7pm
Miss Brown to You Tuesday November 18
Galileo Bar & Grill 3009 Paseo 8:30 to 11 pm
no cover
Covert Union in concert Saturday November
22 7:30 pm Church of the Open Arms $5
suggested donation
Holiday Open House at Herland Saturday November 29 5:30 pm

breast cancer: should _1ou join
c. suppot-t group?
from www.care2.com
"I'm sorry. It's cancer." With four words, your
life is upended. What do you do? Where do you
go? How do you find the information and support
you need? One option is the cancer support
group.
My history of participation in cancer support
groups began in 1991 with my first breast cancer
diagnosis; I received my sixth this year. My first
group taught me how to live with cancer. I've
been perfecting my skills and passing on what
I've learned ever since. For over four years I
have co-facilitated two support groups for young
people with cancer, one specifically for women
with breast cancer, and the other for women
and men with cancer of all types.
I found that first group among the classifieds in
a neighborhood weekly, when the Internet was
still in its nascent stage. I was relieved to find a
group that catered to my specific needs-I sought
information about alternative treatments for
cancer-while I was simultaneously terrified and
determined to hang on to my autonomy. Sometimes as many as 13 women showed up in my
drop-in group.
We were different ages at different stages with
different cancers, but we all wanted to know
what else we could choose along with, or instead of, the standard offering of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I was 38 and, until
three months before, felt little need for conventional medicine beyond my annual visits to the
gynecologist and dentist. My preferred form of
medical care was acupuncture and I was wellversed in several kinds of non-Western healing
traditions. When the lump found by my gynecologist turned out to be malignant, I naturally
sought more unconventional ways to deal with it
before going further with recommended treatment.
I received far more than information: Most of my
breast cancer peers in that first support group
had metastatic disease and were undergoing
treatments through clinical trials for drugs that
are now standard protocols. In my two years of
attendance, I watched them navigate treatment
failures and shift their priorities to choices
about how to live while dying. I'm glad I had the
fortitude to stay. I owe everything I know about

living with a life-threatening disease to them. Four years
later, my disease would metastasize, too, and all the lessons
were there to guide me: the best practitioners; the appropriate treatments to add to the conventional methods I did
choose; and the knowledge that we can keep on healing even
as our disease progresses and, in some cases, outlives us.

FINDING A SUPPORT GROUP THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU
Support groups are great for many, but they're not for everyone. Like cancer treatments, they ' re not one-size-fits-all, but
you can try them on and you can try more than one. Sometimes you have to shop around, just like you do with oncologists and treatment plans. They're not therapy, even when
they're led by psychotherapists; they don't provide
"treatment". An effective group should offer mutual support,
a shared commitment to respecting members' choices, and
an exchange of resources and wisdom-rather than advice.
This is a time for listening deeply to your needs, or, as a wise
friend once proffered, to "follow your pulls." If you decide to
investigate, here are some points to consider as you identify
your preferences:
Leadership

Some groups are led by peers, others by experienced counselors, nurses, doctors, psychotherapists, or spiritual teachers.
Ask yourself which you prefer or try on a couple to answer
that question.
Demographics

Pay attention to where, and with whom, you feel most comfortable. A good place to start is a support group with women
who have recently been diagnosed and are roughly your age.
You may find, though, that you want to hear from a more
diverse group of people with cancer. If so, seek out mixedgender groups or multi-generational ones. For metastatic
cancer, whether at initial diagnosis or recurrence, consider
looking for groups devoted to this stage of disease.
Closed or Drop-in?

Closed groups have the same members at each session, sometimes for a finite number of meetings. In this setting, some
find it easier to trust and develop intimacy. Members may
change frequently in drop-in groups, though often a core
group develops and attends consistently. Drop-ins offer flexibility and the opportunity to hear new voices and viewpoints.
Focus

When starting out, or even when returning (if cancer recurs),
you will most likely be focused on treatment options, decision-making, and the consequences and effects of your
choices. It's a given that you will also delve into the emotional aspects of this major life transition and, if you are so
inclined, into the spiritual. You may be drawn to groups designed for working with cancer through art, writing and other
forms of creative expression.

stop hate
Wow! Things here in Mississippi have
changed and we can now truly say we are
Ovettians! Our neighbors now love us and
help us in any way they can. We and all our
supporters came through for this little community after Katrina. Many who would have
never even come to this sacred space were
forced through a terrible situation to "get to
know us." We are a pivotal member of this
community now and to the surrounding areas.
Our co-founder, Brenda Henson died this past
February. To say this was a huge blow to us is
an incredible understatement. Even the trees
are grieving her loss.
We are still operating at full capacity. However, costs have sky rocketed and our supporters are suffering through this economic
nightmare as well. We just purchased propane for the winter months and only filled
the two main tanks to save money. The cost
is $880.
We are respectfully asking for your assistance
in raising money to pay this particular bill.
We need to get the rest of the propane tanks
filled but cannot even think about doing it
until we can get this paid. We know that
many of you, like us, have little to give. But,
you do know other people and they know others and so on and so forth. Would you please
assist us and ask your friends and family to
consider helping us. We are a non-profit organization and donations are tax deductible.
We have a Paypal link on our web site :
www.campsisterspirit.com or our address is
PO Box 12, Ovett, MS 39464. If we could get
800 people to send just $1.00 it would solve
the problem and ease our worried minds for
at least THIS winter.
Thanking you in advance.
Andrea Gibbs-Henson, M. Ed.
Sister Spirit, Incorporated

(continued from page 1)

our schools today," said Randy Tate, Cimarron
board member and conference organizer.
"National data on bullying and harassment
suggest that bullies most often target children
and youth who differ from the mainstream
population because of a religious, racial,
gender or sexual orientation bias."
Between 2000 and 2005, FBI data show simple
assault in schools went from 16,898 reported
cases to 129,675 cases, and intimidation went
from 5, 154 to 35, 715 cases. According to data
analyzed by Harris Interactive, for example, 68
percent of Latino students have been harassed
or assaulted in high school and 90 percent of
LGBT students have reported similar situations.
Wessler will provide keynote remarks during
the conference. His center develops and
implements programs in schools, colleges and
communities to prevent bias, prejudice,
harassment and violence and promotes writing
and teaching on issues relating to biasmotivated violence. He has conducted scores
of trainings on preventing hate violence to
educators, students, police officers and
community members. In 1998, Wessler
participated in the U.S. Department of
Justice's Working Group, which developed and
piloted the National Hate Crimes Training
Curriculum.
"Stephen Wessler is strong advocate in the fight
against school violence. His no-nonsense
approach brings the entire school community administrators, faculty, parents, students,
even the school bus drivers - into the fight to
make our schools safe for every child," said
Rob Howard, Cimarron Alliance Foundation
executive director. "He excludes no children in
his efforts, regarding violence against gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgendered youth to
be as much of a concern to the community as
religious, ethnic, and racial discrimination.
This is going to be an exceptional one-day
conference."
Beth Reis, a health educator from Seattle,
(continued on next page)

planned parenthood of central oklahoma
Tulsa health care provider, Reproductive
Services, is suing the state of Oklahoma,
asking the state to throw out the law, and
seeking an injunction to prevent the onerous and harmful Senate Bill 1878 from
taking effect November 1st.
SB 1878 was passed in April after the legislature overrode a Governor's veto. The
bill requires women to view an ultrasound
one hour prior to an abortion procedure.
This includes listening to a detailed description of the ultrasound image. Additionally, the bill includes a refusal clause
which shatters the balance between the
conscience of the health care provider
and the needs of the patient and legislates additional guidelines in administering the medication abortion pill. For a
comprehensive look at the law, you can
view SB 1878 online.
The Center fofReproductive Rights is representing Reproductive Services. They

stop hate

state that the law intrudes on a patient's privacy,
endangers her health and assaults her dignity.
The law also prevents a woman's doctor from using his or her medical judgment for treatment.
"Governments should stop playing doctor and
leave medical determinations to physicians and
health decisions to individuals," said Stephanie
Toti, a staff attorney for the U.S. Legal Program,
a division of the Center for Reproductive Rights.
Read more about this at the Tulsa World and at
Truthout. org.
Linda Meek, executive administrator of Reproductive Services in Tulsa, said if the law takes effect,
it will be very difficult for her nonprofit clinic to
survive. She said the law is an effort to throw up
barriers to women who want an abortion. The law
will make it more difficult for doctors at the
clinic and will be very costly.
Planned Parenthood of Central Oklahoma will be
watching the developments of this lawsuit very
carefully and update you, our supporters, as developments unfold.

(continued from previous page)

Wash., and co-founder of the Safe Schools Coalition, also will conduct two workshops that will center
on helping campuses become safe places where every educator can teach and every child can learn
regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
State Attorney General Drew Edmonson is slated to provide opening comments for the conference,
which will also feature a panel of high school students who will discuss real-life examples of
harassment in their own schools.
Total tuition for the conference is $75, which includes lunch as well as five continuing-educational
units (CEUs), three of them for Ethics, for licensed mental health professionals. Training certificates
will be given to educators to apply for educational credits with their districts.
The first Stop Hate in the Hallways was held in October 2007 and drew more than 350 attendees from
more than 20 Oklahoma communities. Cimarron was supported by 53 partner organizations, including
national, state and local nonprofit organizations and three government agencies to develop and
promote the conference. Kevin Jennings, founder and chief executive officer for GLSEN, was the
featured keynote speaker.
For more information about the conference or the Cimarron Alliance Foundation, visit
www.stophateinthehallways.org or www.cimarronalliance.org.

gendertng america at IA

gallery

saturday, december 13, 2008-6-9 pm
Individual Artists of Oklahoma is proud to announce a challenging exhibition of contemporary
art, titled Gendering America, slated to run from November 20, 2008 through January 9,
2009. This group exhibit of visual art created by artists from across the nation, as well as
Oklahoma, is intended to investigate and explore the impact of culture on gender
development in America. "The artists in this exhibit address how we develop behaviors that
are identified as masculine, feminine, or somewhere in between, as well as how those choices
affect our personal and social lives," said IAO Executive Director, Jeff Stokes, who is curating
the exhibition.
"Each of these artists is interested in how men and women in America define and act out
gender in relation to cultural memes," Said Stokes. " Are there natural forces and instincts
that inform our choices, or are those "choices" guided by social agreement within a range of
acceptable categories? How have the last 40 years, with the advent of Feminism, the Sexual
Revolution and Gay Rights issues affected gender self-awareness/perception?"
"I found so many excellent artists addressing these issues," said Stokes, "that I was able to
bring together a wide range of perspectives which IAO hopes will generate important dialogue
about gender in our community."
Gendering America will feature works by artists John Hammer, Ursula McCarty, Angela Piehl,
Morgan Price, Derek Grant Smalling, Mary Lou Stokes and Ann-Maree Walker.
"My work is an attempt to grapple with the weighty questions concerning gender and the
formation of the self. I see the body as an active site of a variety of power plays, a tablet for
the inscriptions and augmentations of the self . It is vulnerable to external manipulation by
sources such as the media and advertising. Even the very clothing and accessories that adorn
the body are codified surfaces that are read and interpreted by others," says St. Louis artist,
Ann-Maree Walker.
California Artist, John Hammer, investigates the ever evolving role and identity of gay men in
America. Hammer states: "When I was in my twenties, way back in the late eighties and early
nineties, being out was a political statement in its self. Now, being out is almost passe in its
mainstream modernity." "How is our identity defined when the aspect of absorption is within
reach, and reaching such, we leave behind a history of "otherness"? Can we be both
mainstream and queer?"
There will be an Artist's Reception, open to the public, on Saturday, December 13th, 2008
from 6-9 pm, at IAO Gallery.

soutforce mourns the passing of del martin
This week, our community lost one of its
great sheroes, Del Martin. Del and her
partner, Phyllis Lyon, have been legends
within the lesbian community for as long
as I can remember.
Born in San Francisco in May of 1921, Del
met Phyllis in 1950 and shortly thereafter
they founded the first national lesbian
Phyllis Lyon & Del Martin
organization, Daughters of
Bilitis. Understanding the relationship of
religious dogma in the oppression of gays and lesbians, Martin and
Lyon in 1964 joined religious and gay community leaders to form the
Council on Religion and the Homosexual (CRH), which was at the
forefront of the movement to gain religious support on gay rights
issues.
Martin was the author of "Battered Wives" (1976) and the co-author
of "Lesbian/Woman" with Lyon (1972). She was first out lesbian
elected to the National Organization for Women (NOW).
Del and Phyllis' role in gay and lesbian rights was publicly
acknowledged when the mayor of San Francisco announced that they
would be the first to be legally married in California on June 16th of
this year. After 58 years as partners, the two were at long last able
to marry.
All of us at Soulforce are grateful for the relentless activism of
Del Martin throughout the years and we send our heartfelt
condolences to her wife, Phyllis.

tulsa election night watch party
Get out the vote, then come join Oklahomans for Equality on Tuesday, November 4th, for OkEq's Election Night Watch Party. The party will be from 7:00 p.m. til 10:00 p.m. in the Sue Welch Hall at the
Dennis R. Neill Equality Center, 621 E. 4th Street (4th and Kenosha), in Tulsa. Drinks and refreshments will be available. Drawings every hour. Watch parties will continue after 10:00 p.m. at The
Eagle and Club Mavericks. Log Cabin Republicans and Stonewall Democrats will have information tables available. Call 918. 743.4297 for more info.

I:
I

Ginny Poindexter
Realtor
Direct
Office
Fax

E-mail

405.919.8443
405.948.7500
405.948.7502
ginnypoindexter@kw.com

KELLER \"'ILLLA..11-S

Vicki Escajeda, BA, CM (405) 202-7051

5629 N. Classen Blvd.
Oklahoma City, OK 73118

P.O. Box 12247, Oklahoma City, OK 73157- 2247-(405) 637-8000

Each office is independently owned and operated.

Sandy Ingraham, J.D. , M.S.W.
Attorney-at-Law
Ingraham & Associates, PLLC
Estate Planning, Wills, Trusts, Probate, Adoption, Contracts

Dr. Dawn Singleton, Ph.D.

Licensed Professional Counselor
Licensed Marital & Family Therapist

5005 N. Pennsylvania #204 OKC, OK
405-232-3296
Route 2, Box 369-B
McLoud, OK 74851

Tel. (405) 964-2072
Ingraham@mcloudteleco.com

Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

Return Service Requested

FREE HOUR CONSULTATION

Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861