Networking 45° North : v.12:no.2(1998:May/Jun.)
- Title
- Networking 45° North : v.12:no.2(1998:May/Jun.)
- Description
- The May/June 1998 edition of Networking 45° North highlights significant strides in LGBTQ+ advocacy and community engagement. It covers the Ontario Court of Appeal's groundbreaking decision to recognize same-sex couples as spouses, marking a victory for LGBTQ+ rights in Canada. The newsletter also promotes key summer events like the 7th Annual Bike Tour, Pride marches, and picnics, emphasizing unity and visibility. Additionally, it features resources such as the Common Voices group and a new Transgender Support Group, while addressing themes of inclusion, activism, and the need for safe spaces.
- Date Issued
- 1998
- Relation
- Networking 45° North
- Rights
- Contact UCO Chambers Library's Digital Initiatives Working Group at diwg@uco.edu for the permission policy on the use, reproduction or distribution of this material.
- Is Part Of
- Networking 45° North
- Contributor
- The Friends North Newsletter Committee
- Date
- 2025-03-10T16:28:36Z
- Date Available
- 2025-03-10T16:28:36Z
- Subject
- LGBTQ+ advocacy
- Ontario Court of Appeal ruling
- Type
- Periodical
- extracted text
-
Property of the Center
THE NEWSLETTER OF FRIENDS
NbRT~/INc., an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals. transgendered and their friends.
N
K
N
-
VOLUME
12
•
ISSUE
2
•
MAY
•
JUNE
G
•
1998
Ontario Court's Ruling
"Spouse" should include
same-sex couples
TORONTO - In a victory for homosexual couples seeking legal
recognition, Ontario's highest court has ruled the federal
government's definition of "spouse" is unconstitutional because it
excludes same-sex partners.
A three-judge panel of the Ontario Court of Appeal ruled that the
definition of "spouse" should be amended in the federal Income Tax
Act to recognize same-sex couples as well as opposite-sex couples.
The ruling came in a case involving pension benefits and
technically applies only to the Income Tax Act. But gay activists said
it could set a precedent that would affect similar sections of other
federal acts.
"It opens the door for same-sex pension benefits, certainly, but
it's also a very significant statement by the courts that discriminating
against same-sex couples is not only immoral, it's unconstitutional,"
said John Fisher, executive director of Equality for Gays and Lesbians
Everywhere.
"Clearly the broader impact of the ruling is the federal
government must reconsider the definition of spouse in all federal
laws to ensure it doesn't discriminate against gays and lesbians," he
said.
-SUMMER
~/el(rfr Alol"t/4 81'ie Toal"
A camping and biking weekend
In the heart of the beautiful Sleeping Bear Dunes
Join other gay men and lesbians for the
7th Annual Bike Tour
July 24-26
$80.00 price includes
2 nights camping, catered dinner on Saturday,
tee shirt, and the organized rides.
For information or registration,
contact Jeff or Richard at 616-271-3042 or tux001@aol .com
All ages and abilities welcome. Student and low income discounts. Limited to 150 people.
EVENTS -
GR Pride "Family Reunion", Saturday June 13
Lansing Pride March, Saturday, June 20
TC Pride Picnic, Saturday June 27
(see page 4)
(see pages)
(see page 9)
FN Bike/Camp Weekend, July 24-26
Richard Tuxbury
Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive FIN
information.)
FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals,
transgendered and their friends from northwestern lower Michigan.
Located in Traverse City, we provide social activities, a newsletter,
phone line, workshops, and a scholarship fund for financial assistance.
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Grace Episcopal Church at the Corner of Washington &
Boardman the first Tuesday of every month (except August) at 6:30
p.m. Everyone is welcome to attend.
Brenda Bartz,VP - 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aoLcom
Sheryl Layton - 616-938-9294/Galbuffalo@aol.com
Kirk Mallow, Pres. - 616-933-5250/Mallowki@norris.tcaps.k12mi.us
Shelly McDonald - 616-946-1085
Daniel Miller - 616-263-3760/Milkrat@aol.com
Tim Schmidt- 616-941-8987/TCTimber@aol.com
Sue Schwartz, Treas. - 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aol.com
Aimee Wells, Sec. - 616-922-2979/awesome@northlink,net
Alan Williams - 616-929-9785/starlite@ptway.com
FROM THE EDITOR
No one can say that the news has been boring
lately. Incredible things are happening to (and for)
gays and lesbians in politics and in the corporate/
business world. And, most of it appears to be quite
positive.
The front page has good news regarding a
court decision in Canada that will apparently affect
all gays and lesbians in the country. Also, with the latest happenings in the
courtrooms in Alaska, we may just find that gay marriage will be possible in
Anchorage, a move similar to Hawaii's. These court processes take many
weeks, months, years and even decades(not to mention mega-finances) to
achieve a decision.
So, as the courts take the tedious route to justice and change, the world
of business can move in just a few weeks. Domestic partner benefits, once a
longshot for U.S. employees at Detroit's Big Three automakers, appear closer
to reality. For the first time, General Motors Corp. and Chrysler Corp. say they're
seriously studying other Fortune 500 companies that offer medical and other
benefits to unmarried and same-sex partners of company employees. An
announcement is expected before summer.
NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor: Richard Tuxbury: 616-271-3042
<tuxO Ol@aol.com>
Publishing & Layout: Richard Curtis: 616-929-9605
<rlc@traverse.com>
Advertising: Jim Ingleson 616-922-0925
Mailing List: John Evans: 616-922-0746
<jdevans@gtii.com>
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $100.00 for
5 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call Jim
Ingleson 616-922-0925 for rates or any questions.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #3, June 15.; #4 August 15; #5 October 15
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or e-mail changes to jdevans@gtii.com.
Other things of interest on the political front are:
• ENDA, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, is apparently being
pushed for a vote sometime yet this Spring in the Senate. It will be a
very close vote, and one that the President and Vice President would
like to see pass.
• The United States Senate on April 2 gave voice vote consent to confirm
attorney Elaine D. Kaplan, an open Lesbian, as head of the Office of
Special Counsel, an independent federal agency that investigates
reports of discriminatory actions against federal employees.
• James Hormel, the openly gay heir to the Hormel Meat Company
fortune, has been nominated for the post of ambassador to
Luxembourg. The Senate has chosen to drag its feet on approving him,
and Republicans who oppose his appointment have expressed their
dismay that President Clinton is promoting a homosexual lifestyle.
• There are four openly gay women running this year for Congress in
Washington, Massachusetts, California, and Wisconsin
This newsletter is looking for someone who will write a column on a
regular basis recommending websites for our readers to visit. Please call me if
you regularly surf and can pass along places of political, social, or educational
interest-or just plain fun.
j w ,(fv ,.,_Lc.v-
'j]
Home of
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
PJZZAZZ
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 5 times per year. Copies are
sent bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.
Pizzas & Pesto
~
Charles E. Egeler, President
David A. Egeler, Vice President
printed on recycled paper
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
-2-
147River Street
PO Box 237
Elk Rapids, Ml 49629
616-264-8901
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Kirk Mallow
FROM THE PRESIDENT
Sheryl has been working with Deb M. Mary F. & Lissa on the High
Tea. I've talked with Deb & Sheryl about what they have planned. All
I can say is WOW!! Door prizes, Entertainment, along with great food.
This is something I'm not going to miss. I have a feeling Easter will
never be the same after this High Tea. My family will be out of town.
So I'll be spending Easter with my extended Family.
As always I encourage all of you to attend the FN monthly
meetings. This is your organization. Without you, it is nothing.
-Kirk.
Hello,
What's up with this weather? I had my
bike out in February, riding to work. I love the
snow and winter and the cold, but when we
get two weeks in February reaching into the
5O's I couldn't resist.
We did find just enough snow for a great winter party up in
Suttons Bay. If you didn't get out there you missed one of the best
get togethers so far this year. The 45 gays and lesbians sliding down
a hill is quite a sight, some of whom could represent the US in the
next Winter Olympics with a little practice.
The Chili Cook-off was a big hit, with Tim Schmidt winning the
Chili Crown. He has vowed that it will be passed on next year with a
few additions from his bag of tricks.
I had the chance to attend a Common Voices dinner and meeting
in the month of March. They are a wonderful group of people and I
enjoyed talking with newly made friends and some old ones in what
I found to be a stimulating evening. Some ideas and thoughts shared
with me by members of Friends North have opened up all kinds of
possibilities. I'm looking forward to future meetings and would
encourage everyone to go and check it out.
The FN Board has been working on many things the past few
months. Shelly, Brenda and Sheryl have membership renewals under
control. Every month renewal forms will go out reminding members
to renew their membership. This keeps a steady flow of revenue
coming in.
Sue, along with M'Lynn Hartwell, is clearing up the red tape
involved in updating the Friends North's Bylaws. Drafts of new Bylaws
have been provided to the board for review.
Dan, with M'Lynn's help, is still working on what tax status would
be best for F.N. There is a lot of red tape to sort through and the
board was handed the tax status options for review.
Alan Williams has been working on a FN Web site and will be
presenting the final format to the board at the April meeting. So be
looking for the new FN Web site soon.
Gretchen, Jeff and I have been working on the 98 F N Bike Tour.
The date has been set for July, 24,25,26. Mark your calendars. This is
one event you don't want to miss. Even if you
don't bike, consider coming out and joining us for dinner.
THINK SPRING WITH ...
Common Voices
THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP
A
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pla-c-e
/cr't- t4e 9-a-~
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Tom Barkley and Ed Richardson
Common Voices, the Friends North Rap Group, extends a warm
welcome to everyone in our g/l/b/t community to attend all our
monthly events. Common Voices is an excellent resource for people
just entering our community ..
Our Rap Group gatherings are held the second Wednesday of each
month at 7:30 pm in the main floor church hall at Grace Episcopal
Church, 349 Washington St, Traverse City. Parking is available in back
and you can use the rear (north) entrance. Common Voices people
will be near the main church entrances until 7:30 to welcome and
direct first-timers. Rap sessions often include g/l/b/t topics and
videos, but more importantly include time for anyone who needs to
talk in a safe, comfortable environment.
In addition to rap sessions, Common Voices sponsors "Common
Nibbles" - the 4th Wednesday (7:00 pm) monthly local restaurant
gathering. A different local dining establishment is chosen each
month. Common Nibbles is an excellent complement to our rap
sessions, offering quality interaction (and quality food!). You don't
need to spend a lot of money, just come to the restaurant and ask for
the Common Voices group.
Common Voices, continued next page
MINER'S NORTH
EWELERS
Your Home
Food
JACQUIE
Spirits
Parties
222 E. Front Street
Traverse City, MI 49684
Downtown
CATERS!
PH: 616-946-8528
Fax: 616-946-3553
834 Indian Trail Traverse City, Ml 40686 phone 616-941-8558 fax 616-947-1187
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
-3-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
Common Voices continued from previous page
Common Voices regularly tries to sponsor additional activities such
as potlucks, hikes, video nights, etc., thanks to those who want to keep
the spirit of our group strong.
Common voices offers a free subscription to our monthly newsletter
(which is also a reminder of our gatherings and special events). Please
phone Ed or Tom at the numbers listed below to receive your copy. We
need your name(s) and mailing address. (Phone numbers are appreciated
but optional.) Our mailing list is confidential- no names/addresses will
be given out by anyone in Common Voices.
For any information about Common Voices/Rap Group/Common
Nibbles /CV newsletter/special events, phone Ed (947-4697} or Tom
{275-6127).
Since the last Networking, we have seen a video about relationships,
watched the movie "The Fox", and had a meeting where we talked with
Kirk Mallow the president of Friends North and our own Alan Williams
who is on the board. We discussed Friends North communications with
the members, our group, and the general public, and talked at length
about what the balance should be between the social and political
aspects of Friends North. Recent dinners were at The Pasta Company and
the Flap Jack Shack.
Our April meeting is on the 8th, and the topic will be safe sex. On
May 13 we are expecting a guest speaker, Loraine Anderson of the
Traverse City Record-Eagle. The June meeting is planned as an open
discussion.
LivE IN CoNcERT
Friday, June 1 2th
@8:00 PM
At DeVos Hall in Grand Rapids
For Tickets :
Outin
+About
A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information
UPCOMING EVENTS
May 23, Memorial Day Weekend MOVIES: Women from Down
Under & Costa Brava. For additional information call JoAnn at 9411702.
June 7, 1998 Sunday - Summer with a picnic in the park - Grace
MacDonald Park (formerly Forest Lakes Township Park) at the corner
of High Lake Road and Rasho Road, Traverse City. Bring picnic foods
(grilling available), drinks and your own table service. Charcoal,
lighter fluid, and matches will be provided. Games area available so
bring volleyball, softball, and tennis equipment, frisbees and other
lawn games. Mountain bike trails. Contact Brenda for into at 9462708.
July - No Coffeehouse - On your own.
August - No Coffeehouse - See you at the MI Womyn's Festival.
September 19, 1998 To be announced - maybe a movie.
October 17, 1998 - Annual Auction, Holiday buying for your
friends.
November 21, 1998 - Thanksgiving/Harvest Gathering and maybe
more.
December - No Coffeehouse - Happy Hanukkah/Merry Christmas
CALL: (616) 456-3333
S1>0NSOl'(ED
iv:
DIVERSIONS VIDEO BAR & GRILL
Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is generally held on the
third Saturday of each month except for this year there are
few changes in dates. Please see related Out n' About
Upcoming Events Calendar. No coffeehouses will be held for
1998 in April, July, August or December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11:00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of $3-5 ($5-$10 if we have
entertainment). Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks
are available.
Stay the weekend...
Call The Vacation Depot at (616) 454-4339.
Excellent Room Rates
at Days Inn Downtown Grand Rapids.
WEST
ktC!Ht<;AN
fANtlV REUNION
The coffeehouse is managed by an informal gathering of lesbians
who call themselves the Steering Committee. Please consider
joining the Steering Committee so that your ideas can be heard.
The committee meets for a couple hours on the Monday prior to
the 3rd Saturday coffeehouse or Monday prior to event, for
planning of each month's event. For coffeehouse information,
or location of committee meeting, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message.
111i
Saturday, June 13, 1998 @2:00 PM
at Ah Nab Awen Park in Downtown Grand Rapids
Food Booths T Merchant Booths T Speakers
Entertainment T Beer Tent T Dancing & Fun
NE1WORKING 4S' NORTH
-4-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
HELPLINE!
MICHIGAN PRIDE MARCH
HELP REQUESTED.
VOLUNTEERS
WANTED
Thank you so much for your support of the HELPline! in 1997
With hundreds of callers in 1997, the. Northern Michigan
Helpline! (Help and Information Line), has proven to be an extremely
valuable community resource!
The northern Michigan Helpline! assists individuals, and
families, to address concerns about same-gender affectional
relationships and orientation - through information, counseling and
intervention. Typical calls to the Helpline! include: people of all ages
wishing to discuss difficult coming-out issues, or seeking to locate
community events and services. Helpline! also helps parents who are
attempting to understand what it means for their child to be gay or
transgendered. Helpline! staff responds immediately in order to help
individuals and families cope with the difficulties they encounter as
the result of bias in our schools, family, church and community - 24
hours a day - every day of the year!
Would you please help us "help" hundreds of people in our
community again this year? Your generous contribution - mailed
today - will enable us to continue helping our community in 1998!
PO Box Nine - Traverse City MI 49685-0009
We are a non-profit 501(c)(3) community service organization .
Your charitable contribution is fully Tax Deductible within IRS
guidelines. If you would like to learn more about our successful first
year of service in 1997, please call M'Lynn at: 616.943.5050.
935 T 1666
Saturday, June 20, 1998
Downtown Lansing
Lansing-Michigan Pride, Inc., is looking for a few good men and
women to help make this year's Michigan Pride March the most
successful ever. Putting on the state's largest Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual,
Transgendered Pride event takes a lot of planning &work by the Pride
committee which is made up entirely of volunteers. "Our organization
is growing," said Co-Chair Tom Base, "but we still need a lot more
people to realize that Pride Changes Everything (this year's theme)
and to volunteer to help our community in any way they can."
So, needless to say, Michigan Pride, Inc., is always in search of
volunteers, either to join the committee or to help with Pride
weekend. Currently, we are looking for volunteers to help with the
Parade, Rally & Festival. "We need people who are willing to come
down early and help set-up everything, people who are willing to walk
& work the March, and volunteers that will help us tear everything
down at the end of the day," said Tom.
Set-up includes arriving early in the morning (around 7 AM) to
help at the festival site, which includes setting up all the tables and
chairs for the booths, stringing fencing up to designate various areas,
and generally being a Jack or Jill of all trades. For the March itself,
we need Monitors: people who actually march, but help keep control
of the parade and ensure the safety of the participants marching. And
at the end of the day, after the parade, rally, and festival are done,
we need people to help clean up everything.
If you think you'd like to volunteer, please call the Prideline at
517 /371-8466. Pride does change everything, so enhance your pride
by volunteering.
Additional information is available at
<pride@michiganpride.org>
Open 7 Days
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women's issues
childhood trauma
spiritual crisis
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
ANGELS
TRANS SUPPORT GROUP MEETS
In October 1997 I attended the Friends North Board Meeting, and
received authorization to form a Transgendered Support Group under
the auspices of Friends North, Inc. Since that time Letters and phone
calls have produced a List of interested individuals. We met in
February and March in Traverse City, and although not everyone on
the list have attended, we have had two very enjoyable and
productive meetings. Wendy, who is the owner of Crowning Glory
Wigs in Traverse City, gave a program on wig selection and care
during our Last meeting. She has been a true friend of the
"community" for many years (Grand Rapids prior to moving to
Traverse City) and is always willing to help. We are extremely
fortunate to have her in our area. It is our plan to have a
presentation on various topics of interest at each meeting.
Discussions of purpose and direction for the group have revealed
a serious need for support and education. Some individuals are
deeply closeted, fearing the loss of family, friends and employment
if their secret were to be discovered. And those who are Less fearful
at this time, have not been so in the past. Some individuals have
never been to a T-Group meeting prior to this, while others have not
even talked to another crossdresser. It is not difficult to understand
the impact on one's mental health. One of the many subjects brought
up was an individual's concern of maintaining a relationship with
their God and Living a transgendered Lifestyle. So, I guess I would
have to say the formation of a T-Group has been an unqualified
success, and I am proud to have a part in it. If you know of anyone
who would be interested in attending the Friends North Trans Support Group, they can contact us by writing to:
T- Support Group
c/o Gwen Larson
PO Box 562
February 14, 1998. My Great-Aunt Margaret died today. She was
one of those peripheral relatives, those kind you rarely see, but every
year you get a birthday card, or they send something for your
graduation.
I suppose this is not special, and everyone has relatives Like this.
For me, however, those birthday cards were very special, for she
wasn't really my Great-Aunt. My mother had married and divorced her
nephew, and although only my brothers were her "natural" greatnephews, in her eyes I was her great-nephew too.
Having her acceptance was important beyond measure as I was
growing up, and even now. She and her sister, Grandma Paolillo, were
Loving helping hands to my family.
I remember Christmas' that might never have been without them.
Christmas' that parents struggled to pay bills, presents were out of
the question, and then a package would come, stuffed with gifts, for
all of us, and hidden, inside was an envelope. I never saw what was
in it, but I knew. There was no doubt, in our house, that Santa Claus
was not real, but we has something better, we had angels.
When I graduated from high school I got cards from them. They
told me how proud they were that I was part of the family and how
much they Loved me. That was the gift I remember most. That was a
gift that money could not buy and only true Love can give. They gave
me acceptance, for no other reason then just being alive, that was
reason enough for them. This is something that the vast majority of
my own "blood" family could not give me.
Many of us search for acceptance and Love, and unfortunately,
so many of us do not find it, even within our own families. Now, one
of my angels is gone and I realize, too Late, how much her gift meant
to me.
- Dan Miller
Traverse City, MI 49685
We will be meeting monthly in Traverse City, and for obvious
reasons the time and location is not openly published. Your letter of
inquiry is confidential, and should include a means of return contact
so that it may be responded to in an appropriate manner.
APA SUPPORTS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
The Executive Council of the New York City-based American
Psychoanalytic Association (APsa) on December 18 adopted a
resolution supporting Legal marriage for same-gender couples. In
doing so, APsa joins numerous other organizations and celebrities
which have adopted a resolution drafted by the national Freedom to
Marry Coalition, which reads, "Because marriage is a basic human
right and an individual personal choice, RESOLVED, the state should
not interfere with same-gender couples who choose to marry and
share fully and equally in the rights, responsibilities, and
commitment of civil marriage." APsa President Dr. Marvin Margolis,
chair of the APsa's Committee on Issues of Homosexuality Ralph
Roughton, M.D., and chair of the APsa's Board on Professional
Standards Dr. Donald Rosenblitt specifically added their names to the
APsa's announcement of its action.
Quality Vacation Accommodations For Womyn
In the Heart of the Sleeping Bear Dunes Nat'! Park
PO Box 457 Qlen Arbor Ml 49636 (616) 334-3346
NETWORKING 45° NORTH
-6-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
AIDS WALK MICHIGAN 1998
WORDS AND MUSIC: NEW BOOKS,
MAGAZINES, CDs AND TAPES
By Rick Gould
Here are some new titles for spring, from local book and music
stores:
At AB CD's, Norm e-mailed us this list:
Madonna, "Ray Of Light." Arguably the best work Madonna has
done in 10 years, the new CD was produced by techno wizard William
Orbit. Although a little behind the times, Madonna will bring this sound
to the mainstream. Simply a very good album. (It's like when Linda
Ronstadt went "New Wave"?)
Natalie Imbruglia, "Left Of Middle." Here is the latest female
vocalist "flavor of the month" - however Imbrugulia outshines many of
her peers. The first single, "Torn," has ripped up the charts and this disc
promises to do the same. 12 cuts of sheer enjoyment.
Soundtrack, "Traveller." Although this soundtrack, from the Bill Paxton
film, has been out for a year, we recently discovered what a gem it truly is.
Primarily country-based music with cuts by Randy Travis, Bryan White and
k.d. lang. This soundtrack is as enjoyable as the film.
Ricky Martin, "Vuelve." Latin heart-throb Martin delivers a fine package
of Latin pop music. Primarily sung in Spanish - even if you don't speak the
language you will understand everything being said here. (The language of
lowve?!) This Cd contains 14 cuts including the Spanish version of "Go the
Distance" from the Disney film "Hercules", as well as an instrumental tune
called "Casl Un Bolero". Good stuff!
Soundtrack, "Good Will Hunting." This disc contains some of the
best musical moments from the film of the same name. Particularly of
note are the performances by Pop/Rock singer/songwrite Eliott Smith.
Smith's "Miss Misery" has been nominated for an Academy Award for Best
Original Song from a motion picture. Other performances include music
by The Waterboys, Danny ELfman, Dandy Warhols and Andru Donalds.
Also be sure to check out Elliott Smith's solo effort entitled "Either/Or".
From Waldenbooks, Kevin mailed us these suggestions:
Wisecracker: The Life and Times of William Haines, Hollywood's
First Openly Gay Star, by William J. Mann, $29.95. Title kind of says it all,
doesn't it? Haines was a popular star in the silents and talkies, whose
breezy, natural presence made him equally adept in both comedy and
drama. This book covers how his career came to an abrupt end, his 50year love relationship, and his lifelong friendship with Miss Wirehangers
herself, Joan Crawford.
The Venice Adriana, by Ethan Mordden, $23.95. Another chockful novel by Mordden, this one grandly tells the story of a young writer's
relationship with a once-great opera diva, whose autobiography he's
agreed to write. Naturally, he soon finds himself in over his head. Shades
of "Sunset Blvd."?
The Rape of Ganymede-A Greg Quaintance Novel, by John
Peyton Cooke, $24.00. Gay Manhattan P.I. Greg is hired to thwart an
extortion attempt against Jimmy Gilber, a man-child musical superstar
accused of having sex with a young boy. When the accuser turns up dead,
and the boy goes on the run, the P.I. finds himself mixed up with greed,
depravity, and violence. Hopefully, the author won't find himself mixed
up with Michael Jackson's lawyer!
These stores appreciate your business and comments.
NE.1WORKJNG 45' NORTH
-7-
This year HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks will join 10 other cities to
participate in the first statewide AIDS Walk supported by the Michigan
AIDS Fund. The Walk will take place on September 27, 1998 at the
Senior Center with registration at 1:00 p.m. and step off at 2:00 p.m.
The purpose of the walk is to promote awareness for this deadly
disease and highlight services available in the community while
raising needed funding for AIDS programming in our local area.
Everyone's support is needed to make this a success so please consider
helping out.
We will be sending out donation forms so walkers can raise dollars
to support our efforts. We will also be looking for sponsors for the
event. If you would like to participate as a volunteer, donate money
for the walk or become a sponsor, please contact Brooke Gray at 9293111 or the Wellness office at 933-0279.
Michigan's residents need your support. Surveillance reports
estimate that between 8,500 and 12,000 Michigan residents are
infected with HIV, with perhaps thousands not even knowing they are
infected. AIDS is the leading cause of death for Michigan residents
between the ages of 25 and 44, surpassing even accidents, suicide,
heart disease and cancer. And the disease is quickly but steadily
becoming a disease of women, children and people of color.
Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk - AIDS Walk Michigan,
Sunday, September 27, 1998!!
HIV Counselina
andTestina
Same Day Results
Anonymous
Donations Only
Call for Appointment
Evenings Available
CONNUNITY
HEALTH CLINIC
8 7 0 E. Ellghth Street
Trayerse Cllty, NI 49686
616-929-4448
Sponsored by
Michigan Department of Community Health
• United Way Agency
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Dear Editor
I like your Newsletter. Not only is it put together very professionally,
but invites its readers to express their views on a myriad of subjects. Today
I accept that invitation and write as a gay man, a deeply committed
Christian and a person who is deeply hurt by some of his gay brothers and
sisters for their prejudice and discrimination against a church which he
loves, which has accepted him as gay person and has honored his right
and obligation to follow his God-given conscience.
In my experience, the Gay Community is quick to condemn the
Catholic Church for what it thinks are the churches teachings, feelings and
attitude toward the homosexual population. The church is unfairly put
under a microscope of scrutiny not applied to other denominations. Too
frequently the gay community relies on rumor, hear say or third party
expertise rather than on the truth of what the church truly believes. The
catholic Bishops of the United States recently wrote a very informative
pamphlet entitled Always Our Children, which is intensely pastoral, caring
and speaks of gay children as gifts from God. This is a far cry from those
who would say that the church places every gay person in the lowest and
hottest regions of hell This pastoral message, addressed especially to
parents of homosexual children is excellent. while it is not perfect, it
definitely is a big step in the tight direction.
Rarely is it reported that hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent
by the Catholic Church to assist those with AIDS or who are HIV positive.
Next to nothing is said of the buildings, homes and other facilities donated
along with support services by the Catholic Church to assist our gay sisters
and brothers throughout the United States and the world. Little is said of
Mother Theresa's Sisters and their tremendous ministry to the Gay
Community. Practically nothing is said of the cardinal of New York who on
a weekly basis visits and prays with people dying of AIDS. Few in the gay
community know of Bishop Gumbleton of Detroit who speaks openly,
proudly and reverently of his gay brother. This bishop is not afraid nor shy
Jo affirm his respect for the Gay Community. And only on the rarest
occasion does anyone hear of the hundreds, conceivably thousands of gay
men and women who are very active in their church as Readers, Eucharist
Ministers, Ushers, Musicians as well as being involved in critical roles of
leadership of the parish.
Please do not lump the Catholic Chruch together with fundamentalists,
extreme evangelists, Anti-Disney Baptists, the Jerry Falwell gang and with
any person regardless of their religions who defame and discriminate against
gays. The Catholic Church embraces its gay children. As the bishops stated
so positively "God does not love someone any less simply because he or she
is homosexual. God's love is always and everywhere offered to all who are
open to receiving it"
Finally, in the words of the Catholic Bishops: "Nothing in the Bible or
in Catholic teaching can be used to justify prejudicial or discriminatory
attitudes and behaviors against gays. we call on all Christians and citizens
of good will to confront their own fears about homosexuality and to stop
ttie humor and discrimination that offend homosexual persons. Having a
homosexual orientation brings with it enough anxiety, pain and issues
related to self-acceptance without society bringing additional prejudicial
treatment."
Editor, I feel better now that I have been given an opportunity to
express my personal views and share my relationship with the Catholic
Church. To Catholics who are gay and have left the Church, I urge you to take
another look. Become involved in a parish and you will see that not only will
you be understood and loved, but you will be accepted just as you are. A
NElWORKING 45'NORTH
-8-
good friend, Fr. Jim McLaughlin, who recently died, worked with and had a
profound influence on the gay community. At his funeral which I attended
there were a large number of our gay family present who can testify that the
Bishop spoke eloquently, as did others, of Fr. Jim's work with the gay
community. Does that sound like a church hell bent on condemning God's
faithful, straight or gay I think not. Keep up the excellent work, I look
forward to each Newsletter and will continue to affrm my gayness and my
church.
Name Withheld At Writer s Request
A School Report, by The Triangle Foundation
A Colorado discrimination case demonstrates some of the problems
that are occurring with the Wayne-Westland School Board in Michigan.
W-W School Board first passed an anti-harassment policy to include
sexual orientation, then rescinded that policy after they were attacked
by "religious" conservatives. Here follows a letter from students at
Lutheran High School.
Dear Fellow Gay Rights Advocate,
We write to you regarding the expulsion of one of our friends, Jeremy
Garza, from Lutheran High School in Denver, Colorado. Jeremy is a
talented and spirited person. He was thrown out of his father's home and
has lost a lot of support from classmates, family members, and teachers
when he realized his sexuality. About a month ago, Lutheran's principal
ruled that Jeremy would not be welcome at the school if he continued to
support the gay community. This meant Jeremy could not display decals
on his car windows or wear clothing {unspecified}, makeup, or jewelry
which might imply that he belonged to or sympathized with the gay
community.
It has been a difficult battle for the queer community to earn the
limited status it has gained in society, but the battle has just begun.
Please join us in our attempt to get the queer community onto the
American breakfast table. As we strive to move from (in)tolerance to
acceptance, please show your support. We urge you to write a letter to
the administration of Lutheran High School at the address below.
Although all we seek is that you show your support by writing, we also
hope any further contacts or ideas you might have will get back to us.
We have nothing to lose here, and everything to gain. Thank you for your
time, and we hope to hear from (or about) you soon!
With Our Highest Regards,
Ash Branes
2543 S. Xavier St.
Denver, CO 80219-5615
Asherlauph@aoLcom
Gina Chirichigno
Hampshire #117 P.O.Box 5001
Amherst, MA 01002-5001
gchirichigno@hampshire.edu
Please write to:
HS Faculty, Administration and Students
c/o Pastor Jules Clausen
Lutheran High School
3201 W. Arizona Ave.
Denver, CO 80219
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
i8
P;operty of the Center
Livingston County Press, Brighton, Michigan, 2/18/1998
Letter to the Editor
DOES IT MATTER WHO IS CAY?.
After reading numerous articles, editorials, and letters from
around the community concerning the formation of the gay/straight
alliance group (Prism) at Howell High School, it appears that we're
divided on the issue. I thought perhaps a student's perspective in the
matter might be helpful.
I am a senior at Howell High School, and am in no way affiliated
with the Prism support group. Every day, I hear the racism and sexism
that has been instilled in out "future leaders" and "model students"
from every angle. This compares little with to the homophobia I hear.
Not only from students, but from staff as well. As I see it, homophobia
runs along the same line and logic as racism and sexism. Group A
believes it is naturally better so therefore has the basic right to put
down, exploit and lower the quality of life for Group B. This is a major
source of the class division endured at schools.
I often hear the gays portrayed in letters as rapists and
corrupters, whose sole purpose in life is to make your children gay by
using peer pressures a catalyst. I've known many people, both inside
and outside the group for years now, and they've NEVER asked anyone
I know of, "Would you like to be gay? I'll show you how!" Besides
bedroom behavior, they are no different than the rest of us. It makes
me ask - Why are their personal lives so intimidating to our society?
The thing that bothers me the most is people talking of
homosexuality as a "learned behavior," to say they are pressured into
being gay. If I were to ask people if they would rather be AfricanAmerican, most would say no. Why? They know that their CHOICE would
cause them to be a target of persecution, in school, on the job, or in
normal society. So would anyone CHOOSE a lifestyle of persecution?
There is no sense in the "learned behavior" argument at all.
One last point. It appears that many are under the impression that
the school began the Prism group. Wrong! The group was started by the
students and for the students. Their group is very discreet. The few posters
that were circulated didn't even have the words "gay" or "lesbian" on them.
Now, I know that many people in the community will say that
the group should be dissolved because it is held on school grounds.
Using that line of thought, maybe we should also dissolve the drug
recovery groups that are also held on school g4rounds? I mean, they
CHOSE to use drugs in the first place, right?
Now, before the Neanderthal conservatives in this town strike
their angry pens to paper in defiance, citing morals and "God's Word"
instead of simple fact, angry that the city is progressing (Yes!
Tolerance in place of ignorance is progress!), I want you to ask
yourselves this - Does it really matter if we're homosexual, bisexual,
Jewish, African, Asian, or White Angle-Saxon Protestants?
No, my friends, we're all HUMAN. And at least to me, that's all
that counts.
Rickey F. Novak, Jr.
TC PRID£ PICNIC
SATURDAY. JUN£
17
2:30-5:00 hiking,
biking, volleyball
5:00-7:00 Picnic
F.N. will provide Hamburgers, hot dogs,
tofu dogs, pride cake, and pop.
PLEASE BRING A DISH TO SHARE
7:00 comedy short
OPEN MIC TILL 9:00
Dance till 12 Midnight
$5.00 donation
ROBB FAR
Linda L. Wikle
Agent
Federau
DIIIIlllmllJID
Business & Personal Insurance
Risk Management • Life & Benefits
qu. re)
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
735 South Garfield Ave .
Traverse City, MI 49686-3471
616-947-4270
Fax 616-947-6497
www .federaugroup.com
Open Monday-Saturday- 6:00 pm - Sunday at 2:00 pm
616 T 935
T
1666 T 520 Franklin
T
Traverse City, MI 49684
Proudly Gay Owned and Operated since 1989
-9-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Ice
A
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(Note: All classified announcements are run without charge.
Please submit them in writing to the Friends North address, or call
the editor at 616-271-3042 and leave the advertisement on the
answering machine along with a contact phone number)
PERSONALS:
NATURAL MAN, 36 y.o., 210#, 6'2", good looking and looking for some
sensuous fun, possible relationship. I'm romantic and sincere. Love massage,
Native American culture, hiking, classical music. Write: Write to: Tahnodin,
Box 176, Leland, MI 49654 (issue 3)
NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS
ANNOUNCING A BUS TOUR TO TORONTO, to see an exciting, major exhibition
of Impressionist & Post-Impressionist art. Will visit other art & attractions
too, & stay at the Radisson Admiral Plaza, on the harbourfront. Leaving TC
Friday morning, June 26, returning Sunday evening, June 28. Call Tom
Albrecht at 938-2163 for details.
ON-GOING ANNOUNCEMENTS
RAINBOW FRIENDS reaches out to lesbians, gays, bisexual and the
transgendered in the NE Michigan area. Individuals in the region should feel
free to call 517-354-0841 and contact me (Brad Vauter) for more information.
Informal pot-luck type gatherings are generally held monthly in Alpena. In
addition, occasional field trips are sometimes planned by interested
participants. (issue 4)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to 9471110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/ AIDS Wellness Networks Grand
Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis Center volunteers. (Issue 5)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY is
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services are held on the
first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call 347-8916 for details
or write POB 873, Petoskey, MI 49770-0873 (Issue 5)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has begun a
VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION. The group will collect
hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay victims of such crimes. For
details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823. Report Hate Crimes! Stop the
Violence! (issue 5)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and treatment,
all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants, Depo-Provera, IUDs,
and Condoms. For more info about these and other methods which are
charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630. Services are by appointment
only. (issue 1)
GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH MEETINGS: The Friends North Board meets on the first
Tuesday of each month (Except August) at 6:30 p.m. at Grace Episcopal
Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets, across from the Old
Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 5)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of men and
women who get together monthly for informal discussion, often on a
particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of every month at Grace
Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30 pm. For information, call
Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at 947-4697. (issue 5)
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
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GLSEN, the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Education Network, is meeting monthly
in Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more
information, call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also welcome
and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace Episcopal
Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For more
information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 922-4800
or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C . Please see the Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running,
call Paul at 933-0572 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. He will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 5)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday evenings
from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at 341
Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month the
Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans Drive,
Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information, please
call 933-0279. (issue 5)
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information please
contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 5)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for
new voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 276-9357. (issue 5)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and eastern
upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit organization that
has committed itself to helping and supporting the needs of HIV infected
persons. They offer a number of services, including support groups,
education, public awareness, and one-on-one friendship support.
Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena, Gaylord, and Rogers City
areas. If you would be interested in the program, please call 616-5269213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians
are held each Wednesday at 5:30 pm and Saturday at 11:00 am at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in TC. For
further info, call John at 922-0746 or Hilda at 938-9294. (issue 5)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting on the last Monday
of each month, 7:30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on South Airport Rd., T.C.
For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Aimee. (issue 5)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first and
third Tuesday of each month, from 11:30 am until 1:00 at a local, Traverse City
restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact Friends North. (issue 5)
•10-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Imagine a
school where
no students,
f acuity or staff
have to face
discrimination,
harassment, or
hatred.
Education and Ethics for the 21st Century
FOR SCHOOL BOARD
Please help me make this a reality.
I need your vote and financial support.
Drop of a check at The City Opera House on Thursday, May 14th,
and stay for a special benefit concert by one of classical music's rising stars: Richard Stadler.
Admission is free. If you cannot attend, please send a check to:
The Committee to Elect Ian Whitney• P.O. Box 1129 Traverse City, MI 49685
PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT IAN WHITNEY
Education and Ethi_cs for the 21st Century
·- FOR SCHOOL BOARD
A very special fund-raiser with a performance
by one of classical music's rising stars:
Richard
Stadler
guitarist
Thursday,
May 14th
The City Opera House
112 1/2 E. Front Street, Traverse City
Admission is free. If you cannot attend, please send a check to:
The Committee to Elect Ian Whitney • P.O. Box 1129 Traverse City, MI 49685
PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT IAN WHITNEY
Gay Men have waited a lifetime for safe places of healing. We would like to offer one of them ...
For Gay Men:
The Retreat of a Lifetime
wt;;
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
if... ,:r
the hurt little Gay kid inside experienced unconditional love?
the shame you feel about being a Gay man began to heal?
you were whole and not fragmented?
you could learn how to have healthy Gay friendships?
you felt total acceptance?
you could learn to create an intimate Gay relationship?
you broke unhealthy family of origin patterns?
The things you just read are some of the goals of a Retreat Weekend hosted by Stephen Fleck and
Joe Kort, both Psychotherapists with experience working with Gay men. The retreat is appropriate for Gay
men who are partnered or single. This retreat is for the strong man who is 'willing to work through sorrow in
order to achieve joy. The retreat will include experiential exercises, lectures, guided imageries, written exercises and communication processes. This means that Joe and Stephen will guide you through issues in a safe,
caring and confidential atmosphere, allowing your Gay self to unfold.
The Retreat of a Lifetime
February 27, 28 & March 1, 1998 or June 5, 6 & 7, 1998
(See other side for details)
About Your Guides ...
Joe Kort, MA, MSW, ACSW is certified with the State of
Michigan as a Social Worker. He
has both a master's degree in Social
Work (MSW) and in Psychology
(MA) . He has been in clinical
practice since 1985.
specializes
in
Imago
Joe
Relationship Therapy which is a
specialized program designed to
help couples heal their relationships. Joe is also trained in working
with adult survivors of sexual abuse/incest issues,
sexually compulsive behaviors, chemical dependency,
depression and anxiety. Joe also facilitates Gay men's
psychotherapy groups. Individual therapy is also
available.
Stephen Fleck, MA has a masters degree in Clinical and
Humanistic Psychology (MA) and
has been in private practice for several years.
Stephen works with the Gay community providing a safe and confidential environment. He helps clients to
heal from anxiety and depression;
cultural, religious and sexual shame;
homophobia and internalized homophobia; intimacy dysfunction; and
addictive/ compulsive behaviors. He
also has extensive training in Integral
Psychotherapy and Motional Processing. Both therapeutic
approaches focus on integrating cognitive thinking with
expression of feeling to create healing and positive change.
Stephen works with individuals and couples along with
facilitating several groups.
Both Joe and Stephen have a professional and personal commitment to the health
and personal growth of the Gay men's community. For information call:
Joe Kort~ 248/399-7317
Stephen Fleck~ 810/558-3819
Location, Dates and Cost
The Retreats are held in the privacy of Stephen Fleck's
offices at 29500 Ryan Road, just north of 12 Mile, in
Warren, Michigan. Feel free to call either Joe Kort or
Stephen Fleck at the numbers listed below for more
information.
N
• • •
E. 13 Mile Road
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Upcoming Retreat of a Lifetime dates:
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February 27, 28 & March 1, 1998
or
June 5, 6 & 7, 1998
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29500 Ryan
Suite A
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Times for either sessions are as follows:
Friday 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. • Saturday 9:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.
Sunday 9:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
E. 12 Mile Road
The Retreat is $200. 00 in advance or $225. 00 if 7 days or less prior to first retreat date.
If you have to cancel up to 8 days prior to the retreat, all but $50.00 of your registration fee will be refunded to you.
No refunds will be made if:
l.
You cancel 7 days or less before the retreat
2.
You do not attend
3.
You do not complete the retreat
To reserve your space, simply fill out the registration form below, detach and mail with your payment.
For more information call:
Joe Kort - 248/399-7317
Stephen Fleck -
810/558-3819
g,<:----------------------------------------.
~ Registration Form - R.etreat of a Lifetime ~
Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _State _ _Zip Code _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Phone: Daytime (
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Evening (
Please indicate which weekend
you will be attending:
Please make your check or money order payable to:
Joe Kort or Stephen Fleck
Mail payment along with completed registration form to:
Retreat of a Lifetime
217 5. Knowles St.
Royal Oak, MI 48067
BEING BLIND AND GAY
(Editor's Note: The following article was originally published in a
French-Canadian magazine and is republished here with the
permission of its author, Robert, who can be rea_ched via e-mail at:
harlynn@panix.com)
I was born on December 1, 1949. I was three months early, and
only weighed llb 14oz. I was put into an incubator and, due to the
amount of oxygen I was given, my retina cells developed too quickly,
and became so damaged that by the time I was brought home from
the hospital, I was totally blind. I of course have never seen and have
absolutely no visual memories at all.
My parents decided that they would try to treat me as normally
as possible, and although I often heard the word "blind" I did not
really know what it meant. I was guided by my mother, or by my
aunts. I was always made a fuss over because people said I was such
a "cute little boy". Many lamented my fate, but I was carefree and
happy. When I was about _5 years old, I began to realize that I was
different from other children. I heard children running around
without being guided. Kids talked about coloring, drawing, and
writing with a pencil. When I asked my mother, she told me that I
would go to school and learn to read and write braille. I knew I was
different, but I of course did not understand the ramifications of my
blindness, and took all in stride.
When I was about 8 years old, I began to realize that other kids
made friends more easily than I did. I went to a school far from my
home, and was taken there by bus. There were other blind kids at the
school, and I noticed that we all stayed together. When we did go to
classes with the sighted kids, we were treated kindly, but were not
really fully included . I would sit for hours listening to kids read out
loud from print books, or hear the teacher writing on the black board.
I loved the sound the chalk made against the blackboard, but I
realized that others could read what was being written, and all I could
do was listen to the sound of the chalk.
I will skip a few years and talk about when I was 14 years old,
and in the ninth grade. I began to be teased by the other blind kids,
because I mostly wanted to play with the girls, and did not want to
participate in the rough games the blind kids played. They would play
a form of hockey and use a large closet to guide the puck. I was afraid
of these games because I was always overweight, slow, clumsy, and I
usually wound up getting badly hurt. Also, I did not enjoy them. I
much preferred sitting and reading a braille book, or talking to the
girls. I even learned to bounce a ball, and learned some of the rhymes
the girls would say while playing ball or jumping rope. I was teased
unmercifully, and soon, even the girls got tired of playing with me,
and so I mostly stayed alone, reading, and listening to what was
going on around me. I knew that I was very different from the other
kids, and I felt horribly lonely. I didn't fit in with the sighted kids,
but what was worse, I didn't fit in with the blind kids, either. All the
boys were interested in sports and rough games. I wasn't. Some talked
about girls, but because I was blind from birth, and because nobody
ever talked to me about sex, I had no idea what was being discussed.
I am ashamed to say that I didn't even know the difference between
girls and boys, except that girls were usually nicer to me, and yet, I
felt a strange feeling when hugging a male student.
When I was 15 years old, a girl explained to me how babies were
born.
"You're very stupid!" Harriet told me. "Your father stuck his penis
in your mother's hole, and that's how you were born. Don't you know
anything?"
I wanted to ask more questions. Where was this hole? What was
all this talk about "hard ons" and "erections?" But I knew that if I
admitted how little I knew, I'd be laughed at, so I kept quiet.
I could not ask my mother. She never talked about such things,
and I knew she would only be upset and tell me not to ask so many
questions. So, I ordered books in braille about sex, and read them,
and had a vague understanding.
What is surprising, and very important, is that I began to realize
that I was attracted to other boys and men, and not to women. I
realized that I had a strange feeling when close to people of my own
sex that I did not have when I was with women. I somehow knew
that this was not the way it should be, and never mentioned it to
anyone.
I will now talk about my college years. I spent 4 years at a well
known college in Ohio. I had finally figured out that I was gay. I
wondered if there were other gay students, but did not know how to '
meet them. I tried dating girls, and forced myself to kiss them, but I
knew it wasn't working. I wanted to talk about my feelings, but had
nobody to express them to. When I was a senior, (my last year of
college) some students who I had heard were gay decided to start a
discussion group. I wanted to go, but was afraid to ask for directions
to where the discussion was taking place, because I did not want
others on campus to realize I was gay. To understand my dilemma, it
is important to realize that I was not able to fit in with the other
students because of my blindness. I had some casual friends, but I
was not part of any social group. I spent much time alone, or being
read to by fellow students. I therefore was very uneasy about
admitting that I was gay, because I was afraid I would be even more
unaccepted than I already was. I felt that I had enough strikes against
me by virtue of the fact that I was blind and overweight. I didn't have
the courage to add another problem to the list.
During my four years at college, I never had any gay friends, and
never even knew that one of my roommates was gay. I kept all of my
feelings inside.
Now, I must talk about my two years in France. I went to France
through an American program, and I stayed there for two years. I
arrived in France after my graduation from College. I met two blind
guys who were gay. One was a fellow from Algeria, and the other was
a blind French guy. I had my first experiences with them. I wanted
desperately to meet other French gay people, but was afraid to ask
my classmates. I had no access to printed materials, and no way to
try to meet French gay people.
When I returned from France, I got a job working with nonEnglish speaking kids who needed help with reading and speaking
English. I badgered my parents until they helped me get my own little
BLIND
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-11-
continued page 12
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
BLIND
continued from page 11
studio apartment. I still live in this apartment, as rents are very high
in NYC, and I am presently on a fixed income because I took an early
retirement. But getting back to my story: when I finally had my
apartment, I decided I was going to try to meet gay people. I was
now free from my parent's restrictions, and I had a guide dog. So, I
was ready to conquer the gay world! But how could I find out
information? I had nobody to read printed material to me dealing
with gay subjects. I had no way to know who was gay and who wasn't.
I wondered how sighted gay people met. I finally called a gay hotline
and was given the names and addresses of some gay bars. I was told
about a group called "mirth and girth" which is for overweight gay
people. (In Montreal, I think the group exists under the name Club
Panda.)
I remember my excitement when my guide dog and I set out for
our first gay bar. We got off the subway at Christopher Street, a street
in the heart of the village. I asked for directions to the bar, and got
there. Once inside, I realized that this wasn't going to work! First of
all, the noise level was incredible! I couldn't hear a thing. Second of
all, because I couldn't see, 1 had no idea what was going on around
me. I was basically rendered deaf and blind because of the noise level.
I sat at the bar, and felt worse and worse as time went by. Nobody
tried to talk to me. I finally got the courage to tap the person next to
me, and to try to strike up a conversation. The guy was polite, but
after talking with him a while, he told me he was with someone. I
realized that I had no way of knowing who was alone, who was with
someone, and what was going on. I left the bar. I went to other bars
on subsequent days, but had no better luck. The only time people
talked to me was when I asked for directions, or they had to guide
me to help me cross the street.
I began to realize that being blind was proving to be a barrier in
my meeting gay people. I decided that, perhaps the problem was the
fact that I was overweight. So, I decided to go to a Mirth and Girth
dance. Surely, there would be people much heavier than I was, and
surely I'd have a better time. Well, unfortunately, the same thing
happened. I was shown to a seat, and there I stayed. Nobody came
over to talk to me. I finally left and vowed I would never try to meet_
gay people in this way. It wasn't working, and I was feeling worse
about being blind and being gay than I ever had in the past.
What is my situation now? Well, I am 47 years old. I have very
few gay friends. I have strong opinions, though. Basically, I am
disappointed with the gay community, at least in NYC. I had thought
that, because of the horrors of AIDS, gay people would be sensitized
to the needs of others. But this hasn't been my experience. It seems
that the gay community is ready to help those who become blind from
AIDS. They reach out to those suffering from Aids. This is how it
should be. But this compassion does not extend to those of us who
are gay, but who are blind for other reasons. What I am about to say
may sound harsh, but it seems to me that if you are a person with
AIDS, you gain a certain respect, even a certain prestige in the gay
community. Organizations are set up to help meet your needs. You
are included, and you are helped. But if you are just an ordinary gay
person with a disability, you don't have that certain "mystique". You
are basically not made to feel like you belong.
Imagine walking down a heavily gay populated street. You see a
blind person with his guide dog. You probably don't stop to ask
yourself, "Is he gay? Could he want to talk? Would we have something
in common?"
I am hoping that this article will give readers a better
understanding of what it is like to be blind and gay. I am also hoping
that I will make some new friends and meet some people who will
accept me for who I am, and who will be able to look beyond my
blindness. What is sad to me is that I have met some exceptionally
kind gay women, and some straight men, with whom I have become
friendly. But I want to have more gay male friends. I want to be able
to talk with other gay men, take walks with them, have things
described to me, have things read to me that pertain to gay topics,
and have a few buddies who I can feel a closeness to.
I was in Montreal last summer and was very impressed by the
kindness of many of the people I met. I therefore decided to try to
place an ad in the magazine, hoping to make some contacts. This
would enhance my future visits to Montreal. And, it would be a great
way for me to practice my French. I'd love to hear gay articles read to
me in French. Think of all the new vocabulary I'd learn! And, just
maybe, I'd make some deep, meaningful friendships: something that
hasn't happened to me in NYC.
I don't want to limit myself to only French-speaking gay people.
After all, perhaps there are some English speakers who read this
magazine.
Please feel free to contact me. I hope that I have been able to
give you a glimpse of what it is like for me as a totally blind and gay
person. I ask only that I be accepted for who I am.
It is of course important to realize that certain things are a must.
First of all, it is imperative that any new friends I make understand
that I am blind and will need help with certain tasks: being guided,
having things read to me, and having movies described. Also, it is
important that anyone wanting to get to know me understand that I
have a guide dog, and my dog comes with me. When I am walking
with a friend, my dog, Harley, walks at my side on his leash. He does
not guide me unless I take the harness
handle. Under the laws of the Province of Quebec, guide dogs are
accepted in all public places. For the most part, I have found the
Quebecois to be wonderful in understanding this, but I will never
permit anyone to try to tell me I cannot enter with my dog, whether
BLIND
continued page 13
•
.
.
.
{616) 941-8868
:Fa;"({616} 941-9063
·Hrs 9am-7pm Daily· Out of town phone 800- 76-
1081 S. Airport Road West, Traverse City, MI 49686 (Co onia
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
-12-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
BLIND
continued from page 12
it be a restaurant, or a taxi. So, I guess I am asking that my new
friends understand this. My dog and his work and devotion to me must
be accepted and respected.
Once I make a friend, with time and patience, my blindness
becomes less of an issue. In fact, a close friend of mine who comes
to read my mail every week, has told me that he just takes it as a
matter of course. He guides me easily and knows that "No dog, no
Bob!"
I have a good long distance program that enables me to call
Canada for only 12 cents a minute. So, I will be able to call you back.
I can speak French pretty well, but do make errors at times.
I thank you for reading my article. I hope it gives you a better
understanding of who I am . Remember, whether we can see or not,
whether we can hear or not, whether we can walk or not, we are all
human beings with the same needs, desires, wants, dreams, and
hopes. We are not as different as outward appearance would make
you think at first glance!
is a case of "selfhealing." The traditionally angry, obsessive Christian male
has just evolved another step. Mostly erect, and occasionally cognizant, one
step higher on the physio-spiritual evolutionary ladder. Never mind the fact
that the rest of humanity arrived at this plane over 130 years ago during the
Lincoln era. Butthead raves on about PK's stand on racial equality, and I
wanted to say something like "Welcome to the 19th century". But I didn't.
What surprised me the most was that he actually thinks he put one over
on me, that I am swallowing his raft of crap, hook, lie, and stinker. He expects
me to approve of his involvement in the Promise Keepers! He may have even
thought he had converted me. Does he think that because I'm gay, I'm
stupid?
I must have been so stunned that I went numb. Either that or I just
chickened out, the way I did when the state trooper asked about the
significance of the rainbow triangle in my back window, and I said "just
decoration". Don't worry, at least I abused myself emotionally afterwards for
about an hour, and it will never happen again, till next time. He gave me a
ticket anyway, so I have been properly admonished.
So I said nothing to Butthead; nothing like the truth, that is. Nothing
like, "Wake up you idiotic Aryan peabrain" or "Yoohoo - earth to Pod-boy" or
"Here's a dollar - go buy a friggin' clue. Discrimination against anyone is still
bigotry." No, I mumbled something untrue yet stupid, like "Gee, that's nice".
But don't worry- I'm still punishing myself for that one. It will never happen
again, till next time.
CONFESSIONS OF A
PROMISE KEEPER'S BROTHER
by Diamond Sellars
My brother is a Promise Keeper. This is not to say, of course, that he
always keeps his word. I doubt Diogenes would have thrown away his lamp
if he had met him. My brother is a Capital P Promise Keeper. He belongs to
that testosterone-based neo-Nazi group led by Bill McCartney and his
Colorado anti-gay brigade.
For a long time I put up with Bill McCartney, even though I have been
openly gay for 12 years. I humored my young niece when she proudly showed
me her WWJD jewelry. I controlled my rage when an acquaintance suggested
that God could "heal me" of homosexuality. More importantly, because
Promise Keepers seemed to have a good effect on some of the abusive
Christian members I have known, I bit my tongue. They appeared to be
better, calmer, more socially aware creatures, so I let it go. Most importantly,
the Promise Keepers generally left me alone.
I was surprised recently when my brother the Promise Keeper called,
not because he called, but by what he said. My brother - let's just call him
Butthead, because no one should be without a name, even in a column
written by some bitter queen with a pseudonym - my brother has been
overtaken by the Promise. He is a Pod- boy now, having been replaced in his
sleep by the subtle tentacles of a perverse alien growth. Of course, he always
was a little bit different. One of "them", you know, prone to sacrificing reason
on the altar of passion. But I fear they have him now. I only hope God can
forgive him, because he definitely knows not what he does.
Butthead is very excited about Promise Keepers. "Such a positive force
in American society", he claims. "What a bold stand against racial bigotry in
the church. How enlightened they are, calling upon each other as brother to
brother, to be more honest, more responsible, gentler, and more tolerant. It
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
-13-
WELLNESS NETWORKS OFFICE MOVES
After three good years with the United Way, Wellness Networks
has moved there office to 112 West 14th Street to join the American
Red Cross. "It was a hard decision to relocate" said Jim Carruthers
Executive Director for Wellness Networks, "but the new location
offers a much larger space, with windows, and a chance to work
hand in hand with the American Red Cross."
The new Red Cross building is similar in size to United Way with two
training rooms, a spacious administrative office area, employee
lounge and high visibility along 14th street. Wellness will miss the
United Way but looks forward to a future with the American Red
Cross. Stop by for a visit anytime and look for the open house in
the near future.
Carolyn R. Delo
Sales and Leasing
1331 South Garfield
Traverse City, Michigan 49686
Telephone 616-941-0700 x 143
FAX 616-941-8145
1-800-942-4 724
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
WHERE HAVE
You BEEN, MY FRIEND?
by Greg Baird
Like the great Houdini, I disappeared for a few months and now
I am happy to say that I have returned. I have had so many folks ask
me where I have been and why I haven't written for what has seemed
like ages.
Well first, my job has been keeping me busier than usual and I
also have been speaking to different groups on building a positive
gay communality, gay youth and self esteem in the gay community.
My source of inspiration to speak came from my friend and exboyfriend James. If you had read my column over a year ago you
would know that I met James in 1990. He was the very first boyfriend
I ever had - the first time I really ever felt truly in love.
About a year after we split up, James contacted HIV from
unprotected sex. I found out in October of 1996 he had full blown
AIDS. I told him from the moment I met him until the day I found
out he had full blown AIDS that I would always be there for him, even
when he got ill. Well that time came this past November. James was
no longer able to communicate verbally with me, our conversation
was through eye blinks and hand squeezes.
The last time I was able to take him outside of his home was a
week before Thanksgiving. I can still see myself sitting in a local park,
in my jeep, hand-feeding him a Big Mac and a Strawberry Shake - his
favorites. That moment will pass through my mind for the rest of my
life.
Christmas Eve was the last time I saw James alive and when I
left his bedside to go home, a tear rolled down his cheek. I remember
that two hour drive home to Petoskey was filled with questions on
why he cried. I know now in my heart he wanted to get through the
holidays and then say good-bye.
On January 2, 1998 at 5:00 pm in the afternoon, James passed
away. I'm glad I was there for him and that he was able to leave this
world knowing he was loved - in so many different ways. It was
wonderful knowing I was loved by him too.
Through all of this and during conversations with James, I have
been inspired to talk to colleges, groups and organizations about gay
issues as well as HIV/AIDS. As a person who is HIV negative, I have
a stronger desire to get the message out. I am hoping through my
life story and my time with James, I am able to inspire others about
the gift of life, the gift of friendship and commitment.
fi
For A World
~ Copies
502 E. Eighth St.• 616-947-1965
COPIES • PRINTING • SHIPPING • FAX
Joann Ewing • Brian Bensett • Richard Curtis
A DIVISION OF LASER PERFECT PLUS. INC.
KE1WORKING 45' NORTH
On February 13 - 17, I was asked by Jeanie White-Ginder, Ryan
White's mother, to come to Los Angeles and speak to 400-500 teens,
peer educators, teachers, parents and care givers at the Ryan White
National Youth Conference on HIV/AIDS. The conference was titled
"Life Activists." As one of the keynote speakers, I was able to talk
about "Building a Positive Community, Self Esteem and Role
Modeling." It was an incredible experience.
I spoke about how we can be the "rock" in our community. When
that rock gets thrown into a pool of water, ripples blend outward from
the center of that splash. We need to have that effect in our
communities. The wave of change. It starts with you,
then your friends, co-workers, communities, state, country and world.
We all have a gift to offer our community. It can be anything from
cooking for the poor, inspiring others, writing, leading, whatever you can offer that wave of change.
During the Ryan White Youth Conference, I met so many people
who were doing incredible work in their communities. Gay and
straight youth were able to work together side by side and were really
making a difference - inspired in a variety of ways.
May you too be able to start that wave of change in your
community. Nothing will happen if you don't get involved. And, if
you can inspire others along your way - you will have started that
wave of change. Best wishes on your venture.
ANNNERSARY BLUES?
Alan Williams
It's getting close to my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend. It
wasn't really that easy to figure out an anniversary date: He and I first
met each other, over the phone, about eight years ago, but we didn't get
together until last year. However, even "get together" is a tricky term in
our case. We ran into each other on the Internet in January; he came up
to see me (and we met in person for the first time) in March; and he
moved up here
in May.
So where do you start the anniversary process in a situation like
that?
I used to think anniversaries were simple. You meet someone, you
fall in love, you settle down, and somehow the anniversary date just
comes in there. If you're married or you have a commitment ceremony of
some kind, then there's your anniversary date. As yet, however, there's
no commitment ceremony in my immediate future, and the eight-year
gap between my first conversation with my boyfriend doesn't lend itself
to a "first anniversary" scenario very well. To complicate it further, there
was the Internet. Does that count as an anniversary? For some people it
does; I've heard of couples celebrating their anniversaries based on when
they hooked up after, uh, "hooking up." Then there's the matter of
meeting in person: My
Anniversary continued next page
-14-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
boyfriend first showed up in Traverse City in early March to spend a month
with me, but he didn't actually move up here until early May. I can't even
fall back on the "day I took him home" bit; when he moved up from
Missouri, my parents offered him overnight accommodations, so I was
nowhere near when he met the folks.
So the dilemma remained. When my boyfriend brought up the
question of "When is our anniversary?" I had no easy answers. I knew I
loved him before we ever met face to face, and my interest in him had
withstood a separation of many years. But where do you put your finger
on a calendar and say "Here was the magic moment"?
Oh, so many decisions. Who would've ever thought that anniversaries
were decided by committee?
I'm happy to say that my boyfriend and I settled on an anniversary
date. Really, it was my choice, since he said he already knew he loved me
before we met. However, I was the one who picked out the day as the
one he arrived at the airport for his month-long visit.
That was the day I put a face to the man I love.
TRIANGLE NEWS BRIEFS
Buy Your Dogs-n-Suds from Triangle
Triangle is "coming out" at the ball game. This year for the first
time, volunteers will staff Tiger Stadium's concessions. Triangle has
signed up as a fundraising project and will receive 10% of its gross
concession sales. When you are at a Tiger game, look for our banner
and come over and say "Hi." If you would like to join us and be a
volunteer, call Gary Sarto at the Triangle Office.
When given the company's volunteers contract to sign, we noted
that sexual orientation was not included in their local
nondiscrimination policy statement. Triangle Board member and
attorney, Rudy Serra, contacted the concession company, and they
are seriously considering including sexual orientation in both their
local and corporate policies.
Hate-Motivated Violence Continues to Rise
On Tuesday, March 3, the Triangle Foundation held a press
conference for the gay and mainstream media to publicize the 1997
report of hate-motivated violence against the lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender and HIV-positive (lgbth) people. Sadly, the news is not
good. While crime rates fell dramatically across the country, hatemotivated violence against lgbth people rose 2% in 1997 following a
6% increase in 1996.
The rise of hate-motivated violence in Detroit and Michigan is
even more disturbing. In 1997, the Michigan lgbth people
experienced a 12% increase in violence! We hope that at least a
portion of this increase is the result of lgbth people being more
willing to report violence against them.
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
-15-
FAITHFUL FRIENDS
Why People of Faith Should Support Equality for
Gays and Lesbians
The Interfaith Alliance, a nationwide organization with members from
more than 50 denominations and communities of faith, formally
announced in September its endorsement of the Employment NonDiscrimination Act. This move came after serious analysis of the bill's
objectives, and after considering the moral responsibility of people of
faith to actively support civil rights for all Americans. Dr. Herbert 0.
Valentine, founding president of The Interfaith Alliance, explains some
of the process that led to this critical show of support.
IN 1996, RALPH REED, TH EN EXECUTIVE director of the Christian
Coalition, made a public apology. He said that most of the people
who make up the Christian Coalition stood on the sidelines of the civil
rights struggle of the 1960s. While thousands of people were maimed
or murdered, while hundreds of churches were bombed or burned,
while the religious and political demagogues told America that God
supported segregation of the races, they stood silent. That was wrong,
Reed said. He is sorry.
In the 1970s, the civil rights struggle added to its focus the
promotion of equal rights for women. As millions of American women
fought for equal pay and equal opportunities, they, too, found '
religious political extremists blocking their path.
Today, the civil rights struggle continues, not only for African
Americans, women, the disabled and other ethnic minorities but for
lesbians and gay men. So it should come as no surprise that the
Christian Coalition, the Family Research Council and other political
religious extremist organizations are trying to block the Employment
Non- Discrimination Act, a bill to outlaw job discrimination based on
sexual orientation. Just as they did with the civil rights bills of the
1960s and the Equal Rights Amendment of the 1970s, the religious
right has denounced ENDA as a threat to "traditional family values."
They claim that ENDA would place immorality on the same footing as
morality and force some communities of faith to accept behavior and
activities that run counter to their religious beliefs. They also assert
that ENDA equates sexual orientation with race and gender, thereby
weakening the civil rights of women and African Americans.
None of these claims are true. ENDA does not affect heterosexual
families, it is not a proclamation about morality and it does not force
any community of faith to change its present beliefs about sexual
Continued next page
A.L. Mitchell & Associates
MEMBERS OF BAY BUSINESS RESOURCE GROUP
ANDREW L. MITCHELL
Accredited Business Accountant
803-B South Garfield Ave.
Traverse City, MI 49686
Phone (616) 947-1492
Fax (616) 941-9088
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Continued from previous page
behavior. Rather, ENDA strengthens civil rights by extending them
to those who currently suffer legal discrimination in the workplace.
On ENDA, as on so many subjects, Christian Coalition founder Pat
Robertson and James Dobson- head of another political religious
group, Focus on the Family do not speak for all people of faith. They
do not even speak for a majority of Christians. Recent polling by the
Human Rights Campaign shows that 70 percent of Christians believe
that "gays and lesbians should be protected from discrimination in
the workplace." Furthermore, 63 percent of all Christians favor
passage of "a bill which would extend current civil rights protections
in the workplace to cover gays and lesbians." Clearly, the Christian
Coalition is out of step with a majority of Christians; Focus on the
Family needs to focus on the facts.
The simple truth is that the vast majority of Christians and other
people of faith believe in fairness and equality, and therefore support
civil rights for all Americans. Whatever their particular views on
homosexuality, most people of faith believe that no group of Citizens
should be singled Out for legal discrimination, and no American
should be treated unfairly in the workplace. That's why the majority
of people of faith reject the gay bashing rhetoric of the extreme right
and support ENDA.
That is also why The Interfaith Alliance has endorsed ENDA. The
alliance is a nonpartisan grassroots organization that promotes the
positive role of religion in American society and provides people of
faith with a mainstream alternative to political religious extremism.
As a nationwide organization with members from more than 50
denominations and communities of faith, The Interfaith Alliance has
a strong commitment to diversity and tolerance. Our shared religious
values compel us to affirm the dignity and worth of all human beings,
whatever their race, sex, religion or sexual orientation.
The decision to endorse EN DA was made by The Interfaith
Alliance board of directors. As a coalition of diverse people of faith,
we have our differences on a number of issues-including
homosexuality. But we are absolutely united in our firm commitment
to civil rights for all Americans. We cannot stand by silently and allow
members of the gay community, or any group, to face discrimination
in the workplace. Nor car we allow religious political extremists to
speak on Our behalf. That is why we at The Interfaith Alliance join
with people of faith across America and proudly endorse ENDA.
THE TROUBLE WITH
'DON'T ASK DON'T TELL'
'
New Defense Department draft report shows that the number of
homosexuals being forced out of the military under the "Don't ask, don't
tell, don't pursue" policy is 67 percent higher than when the policy was
adopted in 1993. The report is silent on what might be causing this
surprising result. Yet the Pentagon seems resistant to examining the most
disturbing and obvious possibility, which is that base and unit commanders
are subverting a policy that was intended to stop witch hunts and to insure
some measure of privacy for gay men and women in the ranks.
The Pentagon spin is that service members are voluntarily declaring
themselves gay to get out of the military. But if that were true, wouldn't
discharge numbers have stayed roughly the same from year to year?
The report should cause Defense Secretary William Cohen to worry
that commanders are not being adequately trained on the purpose of the
policy or the appropriate limits on investigations. At the same time, the
nominal policy may be causing homosexuals to believe that they need
not remain as vigilantly closeted as they were before. In any event, the
promise of greater tolerance that was supposed to follow President
Clinton's declaration ofthis new policy is turning out to be unfounded.
Military guidelines say that investigations cannot be based on mere
suspicion or rumor. Associational behavior such as going to gay bars or
reading homosexual books is not to be used as evidence of homosexual
conduct. Yet there continue to be cases where service members are
directly asked about their sexual orientation. Reliance on anonymous
reports is not uncommon.
In some egregious situations, individuals who complained about antigay harassment were then investigated for being gay. The decision to begin
an investigation is left to the commanding officer. Yet some commanders
are inadequately versed on the guidelines, according to the report.
At a minimum, better training has to be put in place. The report
also recommends that commanders consult with legal officials before
initiating investigations. But these improvements will not cure the
injustice inherent in a military that is allowed to drum effective people
out for no reason other than homosexuality. Mr. Clinton erred in 1993
when he let Gen. Colin Powell and others bully him into backing away
from his original intention to ban discrimination against homosexuals in
the military. This report provides a measure of that error.
Reprinted from The New York Times Company
Char P. Kirchner,
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-16-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
DNC INCLUDES GAYS & LESBIANS
IN DELEGATE SELECTION RULES FOR
2000 CONVENTION
"MILLENNIUM"
MARCH ON WASHINGTON
The nation's largest gay and lesbian political
organization and the nation's largest gay faith-based movement
announced plans today to sponsor a march on Washington in the
spring of the year 2000. The event will be produced by veteran march
organizer Robin Tyler who brought the organizations together to
formulate planning.
The Human Rights Campaign and the Universal Fellowship of
Metropolitan Community Churches are exploring dates in spring 2000
for the "Millennium March on Washington for Equal Rights," the heads
of both organizations said today. Several prominent organizations
have signed on as endorsers, including the National Black Gay and
Lesbian Leadership Forum, the National Latino/a Lesbian and Gay
Organization, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the Gay and
Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, the National Youth Advocacy
Coalition, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, the
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Gay and Lesbian Victory
Fund. Representatives from these organizations and others will be
sought to participate on an organizing committee which will help
facilitate the organization and presentation of the event.
"This march will set a new tone for a new century," said Elizabeth '
Birch, executive director of the Human Rights Campaign. "Full
equality under the law will be our achievement in the new
millennium."
WASHINGTON -
Washington, DC: The Democratic National Committee's bodies
governing the delegate selection rules for the 2000 National
Democratic Convention - the DNC Rules & Bylaws Committee & DNC
Executive Committee - voted unanimously in a meeting this
weekend to include the first-ever language requiring state parties to
specifically include Gay & Lesbian representation as part of the
delegate selection process for the 2000 Convention.
"Gay and Lesbian Democrats and our community have taken a
significant step forward," said Jean O'Leary of California, Chair of the
DNC Gay & Lesbian American Caucus and member of the DNC Executive
Committee, the governing body of the DNC. "These new rules will
likely increase the number of openly Gay and Lesbian delegates to
the 2000 Convention and mark the first time that a major National
Party organization has included Gays and Lesbians as a priority for
selecting delegates to a National Party Convention."
"These new rules reflect what we have done for the Democratic
Party and this Administration over the years as well as how critical
our community's support will be for a Democratic Presidential victory
in 2000," said Jeff Soref, Vice Chair of the DNC Gay & Lesbian
American Caucus and At-Large DNC Member from New York.
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The comfortable gathering place for friends and couples.
c5uzelle
Garb.ti,
C.£iropraclor
• Gentle Manual Adjusting
• Low Force Technique (Activator Method)
• Massage Therapy
Guided Meditation and Wellness Classes
• Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday (by appointment)
David Schulz & Jim Walker
212 Park Street, Bellaire, Michigan 49615
800-545-0780 • (616) 533-6077
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814-B S. Garfield• Traverse City, MI 49686
Res: 616-922-9272 • Office 616-933-9388
-17-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
STONE BUTCH BLUES:
A NOVEL BY LESLIE FEINBERG
SACTO YOUTH LOBBY DAY DRAWS
HUNDREDS OF QUEER KIDS
by Marghe Covino
A Review by M'Lynn Hartwell
Some 300 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youth from all
over California came to the State Capitol on a mission Wednesday,
January 21. In one day, they met with their state representatives,
presented a list of demands, held a rally on the Capitol steps, and
attended training on advocacy and building networks.
Laurie McBride, executive director of LIFE Lobby, said, "LIFE Lobby
is proud to host Youth Lobby Day, a forum for California's gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered youth and their allies. It's a day for our
youth to challenge their legislators; take seriously their need for
legislation to protect them in their schools, and stand up for their right
to an education without discrimination and harassment. Over 300 youth
took part in their day - young, vibrant, articulate, and proud. They
deserve the full protection of law as equal and valued citizens of this
great state."
Indeed, the group was very aware that a bill mandating protections
for them in schools, which Assembly Speaker Pro Tern Sheila Kuehl, DSanta Monica, authored last session, failed in the legislature.
Ken Locke, a participant from Sacramento, said, "This is an
important opportunity to meet our legislators in person, to give them a
chance to see us as human beings, rather than as political abstractions.
Anti-gay prejudice and discrimination has made adolescence a nightmare
for many of my friends. No one should have to fear being attacked or
killed because certain individuals have not learned to treat their fellow
human being with respect. To me, today is about countering negativity
and making our presence known."
As the young people recounted their personal stories of violence and
discrimination, of hate speech and ostracism, of going to school day after
day feeling unsafe and unprotected, they also took note of their peers
who committed suicide, unable to face the cruelty and fear any longer.
Tom Beddingfield, 19, of San Jose, told of his boyfriend, Brandon.
"We both came out in our junior year of high school," Beddingfield said.
"We both had to deal with physical and verbal harassment from
everyone."
"Brandon killed himself on March 9, 1996. He was 16. A month later
I became an activist for gay and lesbian youth. I do it so that what
happened to my boyfriend might not happen to someone else."
Afact sheet passed out to legislators and Capitol staff listed needs
and demands, including comprehensive policies banning harassment,
violence, and intimidation against students on the basis of actual or
perceived sexual orientation; funding for training teachers and school
staff in crisis intervention, conflict resolution, harassment and violence
prevention, and sensitivity training on GLBT issues; funding for statesupported social research on violence and harassment in California's
schools; and the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity in
all non-discrimination policies of the California Education Code.
As their airplanes and buses left Sacramento, participants took with
them important new skills and an even stronger commitment to seeing
that policies are put into place that protect their rights, and the rights
of those who come after them, to learn in a safe and supportive
environment.
The first time I read Stone Butch Blues, I cried with compassion
and shame at my own gender misconceptions. It was then, that I
realized that the transgendered community was in many ways a
kindred spirit to the Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual community, and that
their struggle, was our struggle for basic human rights and the dignity
of being.
Stone Butch Blues is Leslie Feinberg's autobiographical, and
generally torturous tale of confused sexual identity-feeling male in
a female body. Feinberg writes about the experience of trying to live
honestly with who you are, rather than within the narrow societal
constraints ascribed to the sex indicated on your birth certificate.
This is trickier than you might think. Leslie weaves her way through
her search for "the right place," ands/he does it with both philosophy
and the brutal honesty. The fact that this book was depressing, and
painful to read at times, only reflects the reality of the world s/he
had to face.
Stone Butch Blues is also a historical first-hand accounting filed
with tales of Stonewall-period police abuse, and love gone wrong. The
book is alive with honesty and gentleness. Feinberg's alter ego, Jess
Goldberg, wants only to love freely and be loved and live as who s/he
is. Her touching, and sometimes amusing attempts to do so, hold
together the narrative of her first twenty-some years, in Buffalo, and
New York City. The story of what Jess does not have, and what is taken
from her, is heartbreaking. Nevertheless, Feinberg is always there to
hold our broken hearts together and make them whole with moments
of love and wonder at the beauty of the world-from Jess' touching
date with a woman who believes Jess, is a man, to a scene on a
Manhattan subway platform wheres/he hears Mozart played for the
first time, by street musicians. Interwoven within the story of Jess'
coming of age sexually, runs the story of her awakening to the world
of blue collar labor relations and union activism.
I highly recommend this book!
Wxcorpted and wpdoted from Ibe Rap 4wa DepocteqJ
NfIWORKING 45°NORTH
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VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Property of the Center
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JOURNEY IN LIGHT MINISTRIES, INC.
t
There is a verse in the Bible in the book of I John chapter 4 and
verse 18 that says "There is no fear in Love; but p_erfect Love casts out
fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not
perfected in Love." I would Like to suggest that as we examine the
"coming out" issue, we consider the possibility that the reason we
are unable to do so is from a basic, gut fear. Are we afraid of what
might happen out in our society or are we really afraid of having to
face and accept ourselves as God made us?"
Is the agony and torture we experience there because we carry
inside ourselves the knowledge that we are GLTB and are unable to
come to terms with it? We will never find the attitudes of society
changing towards us as GLTB's until we can at Least come to terms
with our attitudes about ourselves. I admit that I occasionally find a
homophobic attitude still inside my mind and I have to deal with it
when it pops up ( or get help dealing with it!). The same God that
said that nothing can separate us from that God's love (Romans 8:3539) also said that we are to love the "Lord your God with all your
heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all
your mind; and your neighbor as yourself."
FRIENDS NORTH, INC.,
May I offer to you the thought that fundamentalists, right-wing
straight people, or any others who are "hateful" in their attitudes and
Language to us (and, incidentally to anyone else who does not agree
with them), may be suffering from an inability to love themselves in
a wholesome way. If these groups of Scriptures say anything to us
even symbolically, they point to the possibility that without a proper
self-love, it is impossible to love either the human or the divine
appropriately. Our inability to love ourselves, then, may cause us to
constantly stand outside the welcoming love that awaits us in
different segments of society, and within the fellowship of some
churches. Bottom line: Learn to love yourself for the fabulous person
you are and are meant to be!
Journey In Light Ministries, Inc. is a welcoming and affirming
Christian fellowship that meets the first and third Sundays of the
month in the basement community room of the Suttons Bay Library
at 10:30 a.m. (side entrance). Everyone is welcome! For more
information you may call 271-2529 or write to
Rev. Linda l. Wilson
P.O. Box 188
Suttons Bay, MI 49682.
P.O. Box 562,
TRAVERSE CITY, MI
49685-0562
YES, I want to be a supporting member of the Friends North Organization
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801 West Front Street
Traverse City, MI 49684
arker Creek Nurse1'y
LANDSCAPING AND GARDEN CENTER •
For Appointment Call
941-8255
Gordon Coy-Terry Bertrand
(616) 267-5972
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Williamsburg, Ml 49690
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE Z • MAY/JUNE 1998
IE
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STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES
LOCAL SPIRITUAL:
Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) ............. 800-347-HATE
Michigan Wellness Networks ........... . ... . . . ...... 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline ...... . .. . ........ 800-347-TEEN
Rev. Geraldine Colvin
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City ..... . ..... 616-938-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ... . ..... 616-223-7999
Rev. Linda L. Wilson, Journey In Light Ministries ......... 616-271-2529
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Petoskey ...... . .. 616-347-8916
P.O. Box 873 Petoskey, Ml 49770
STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL I POLITICAL / MEDIA
The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 ......... 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 50729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . . .... . ....... 616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 .... .. ......... 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . .... . ...... . .. . .... . .... . .... 810-398-7105
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations{lndex.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 ...... . ..... . ... . 517-332-3200
e-mail ... ... . . . . .. . ..... . . . . . ........... . lahr@macatawa.org
Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... . .......... 517-371-5257
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit 48219 ... . .... . .. . . 313-537-3323
. .. .. ... ... . .. . .. .... . . .. . . . . ............ Fax: 313-537-3379
email ...... . .. . . . .. . . .. . ... . . ............ . . .trijeffm@aol.com
Between The Lines (newspaper/monthly) . .... .. . ...... . 810-615-7003
33528 Eight Mile, Ste. 185A3, Livonia, Ml 48152 ... FAX 810-615-7018
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
The Third Coast (magazine/monthly)
POB 7296, Grand Rapids, Ml 49510 .. ..... ......... 616-248-9967
Michigan Pride, Inc. (Statewide Pride March organization)
P.O. Box 16191, Lansing, Ml 48901 ...... .. .... . .... 517-371-8466
. . .. . . .. . ...... . .... . . . ... .. . .... . . . pride@michiganpride.org
NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
1012 14th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .... 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 . . ........... 212-807-1700
.. . .. . .. . .............. . . . . .. . .. ... .. . . .. Fax: 212-807-1806
email . . . . ... . .................. . ........ . . glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ... . ... .. ... . .. . . 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . .. .... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund ....... 212-809-8585 x 205
120 Wall St., NY, NY 10005 ................... Fax: 212-890-0055
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 .. . ........ 415-621-0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 . . ... . . 202-628-4160
. .. .. . ... . ............. . ................. Fax: 202-347-5323
e-mail . ... . ............. .. ........ .. ... . ... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
101214th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-842-7679
GLSEN, Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network ..... . .. 212-727-0135
121 West 27 Street Suite 804, NY, NY 10001 .... Fax: 212-727-0-254
LOCAL COUNSELING:
Third Level Crisis Intervention, . . ............ . ..... . .. 616-922-4800
1022 E. Front St., TC, Ml 49686 ................ and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ....... ... ..... . .... . ..... 616-941-1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD ........... .. .... . ........... 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) ........... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW . . ........ . ... . .... . .... .. .... 616-947-0511
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHt ........... . .. . ...... 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD .. . ....... .. . .. ........ . .. 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) . .. .... . . ..... . 616-439-0656
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) ............ . ..... . ... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center ....... . . 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ...... . ....... . ....... . 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW .. . ... . .. . ....... . .. .. .. 906-635-9263
Lois Martindale, Ph.D., Benzonia ...... . .. .. .... . .. ... 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City .......... 929-1315 or 800-686-07 49
LOCAL SERVICE I SOCIAL I POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) .... . ..... . .. . ........ 616-946-1804
Common Voices - F/N Rap Group ... . .. . .. . .. . ....... Ed - 947-4697
.. . ..... . ....... .. ................... . ..... Tom - 275-6127
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support GroupCall Third Level for location & time . . . . 616-922-4800 or 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nite Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. ..... . . 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC . . . . John 616-922-07 46
.... .. .................. . ......... . ....... jdevans@gtii.com
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hilda 616-938-1294
P-FLAG, Traverse City, POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 . Cindy 616-271 -5045
GLSEN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Education Network)
PO Box 9, Traverse, Ml 49685 . .............. . ..... 616-943-5050
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill ..... . . 616-938-1333
LOCAL HIV/ AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks, GTA, Inc., ............... 616-947-1110
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 ... .. .... . . 1-800-494-1160
Business Office ................................. 616-933-0279
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks - HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group .......... 616-947-1110
Thomas Judd Care Center, 1211 W Front St., Traverse City,
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist . . .. . ..... 616-935-8140
David Rushlow, ACSW Social Worker ......... . ..... 616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) ............ 1-800-248-6777
Community Health Clinic ........................... . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
Northern Michigan Planned Parenthood .. . ........... . . 616-929-1844
(anonymous counseling & testing)
Grand Traverse County Health Department ............. 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Emmet County Health Department (Petoskey) ... . ....... 616-347-6014
Also call the District Health Department in your area .
-
Property of the Center
THE NEWSLETTER OF FRIENDS
NbRT~/INc., an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals. transgendered and their friends.
N
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VOLUME
12
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ISSUE
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MAY
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JUNE
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1998
Ontario Court's Ruling
"Spouse" should include
same-sex couples
TORONTO - In a victory for homosexual couples seeking legal
recognition, Ontario's highest court has ruled the federal
government's definition of "spouse" is unconstitutional because it
excludes same-sex partners.
A three-judge panel of the Ontario Court of Appeal ruled that the
definition of "spouse" should be amended in the federal Income Tax
Act to recognize same-sex couples as well as opposite-sex couples.
The ruling came in a case involving pension benefits and
technically applies only to the Income Tax Act. But gay activists said
it could set a precedent that would affect similar sections of other
federal acts.
"It opens the door for same-sex pension benefits, certainly, but
it's also a very significant statement by the courts that discriminating
against same-sex couples is not only immoral, it's unconstitutional,"
said John Fisher, executive director of Equality for Gays and Lesbians
Everywhere.
"Clearly the broader impact of the ruling is the federal
government must reconsider the definition of spouse in all federal
laws to ensure it doesn't discriminate against gays and lesbians," he
said.
-SUMMER
~/el(rfr Alol"t/4 81'ie Toal"
A camping and biking weekend
In the heart of the beautiful Sleeping Bear Dunes
Join other gay men and lesbians for the
7th Annual Bike Tour
July 24-26
$80.00 price includes
2 nights camping, catered dinner on Saturday,
tee shirt, and the organized rides.
For information or registration,
contact Jeff or Richard at 616-271-3042 or tux001@aol .com
All ages and abilities welcome. Student and low income discounts. Limited to 150 people.
EVENTS -
GR Pride "Family Reunion", Saturday June 13
Lansing Pride March, Saturday, June 20
TC Pride Picnic, Saturday June 27
(see page 4)
(see pages)
(see page 9)
FN Bike/Camp Weekend, July 24-26
Richard Tuxbury
Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive FIN
information.)
FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals,
transgendered and their friends from northwestern lower Michigan.
Located in Traverse City, we provide social activities, a newsletter,
phone line, workshops, and a scholarship fund for financial assistance.
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Grace Episcopal Church at the Corner of Washington &
Boardman the first Tuesday of every month (except August) at 6:30
p.m. Everyone is welcome to attend.
Brenda Bartz,VP - 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aoLcom
Sheryl Layton - 616-938-9294/Galbuffalo@aol.com
Kirk Mallow, Pres. - 616-933-5250/Mallowki@norris.tcaps.k12mi.us
Shelly McDonald - 616-946-1085
Daniel Miller - 616-263-3760/Milkrat@aol.com
Tim Schmidt- 616-941-8987/TCTimber@aol.com
Sue Schwartz, Treas. - 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aol.com
Aimee Wells, Sec. - 616-922-2979/awesome@northlink,net
Alan Williams - 616-929-9785/starlite@ptway.com
FROM THE EDITOR
No one can say that the news has been boring
lately. Incredible things are happening to (and for)
gays and lesbians in politics and in the corporate/
business world. And, most of it appears to be quite
positive.
The front page has good news regarding a
court decision in Canada that will apparently affect
all gays and lesbians in the country. Also, with the latest happenings in the
courtrooms in Alaska, we may just find that gay marriage will be possible in
Anchorage, a move similar to Hawaii's. These court processes take many
weeks, months, years and even decades(not to mention mega-finances) to
achieve a decision.
So, as the courts take the tedious route to justice and change, the world
of business can move in just a few weeks. Domestic partner benefits, once a
longshot for U.S. employees at Detroit's Big Three automakers, appear closer
to reality. For the first time, General Motors Corp. and Chrysler Corp. say they're
seriously studying other Fortune 500 companies that offer medical and other
benefits to unmarried and same-sex partners of company employees. An
announcement is expected before summer.
NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor: Richard Tuxbury: 616-271-3042
<tuxO Ol@aol.com>
Publishing & Layout: Richard Curtis: 616-929-9605
<rlc@traverse.com>
Advertising: Jim Ingleson 616-922-0925
Mailing List: John Evans: 616-922-0746
<jdevans@gtii.com>
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $100.00 for
5 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call Jim
Ingleson 616-922-0925 for rates or any questions.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #3, June 15.; #4 August 15; #5 October 15
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or e-mail changes to jdevans@gtii.com.
Other things of interest on the political front are:
• ENDA, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, is apparently being
pushed for a vote sometime yet this Spring in the Senate. It will be a
very close vote, and one that the President and Vice President would
like to see pass.
• The United States Senate on April 2 gave voice vote consent to confirm
attorney Elaine D. Kaplan, an open Lesbian, as head of the Office of
Special Counsel, an independent federal agency that investigates
reports of discriminatory actions against federal employees.
• James Hormel, the openly gay heir to the Hormel Meat Company
fortune, has been nominated for the post of ambassador to
Luxembourg. The Senate has chosen to drag its feet on approving him,
and Republicans who oppose his appointment have expressed their
dismay that President Clinton is promoting a homosexual lifestyle.
• There are four openly gay women running this year for Congress in
Washington, Massachusetts, California, and Wisconsin
This newsletter is looking for someone who will write a column on a
regular basis recommending websites for our readers to visit. Please call me if
you regularly surf and can pass along places of political, social, or educational
interest-or just plain fun.
j w ,(fv ,.,_Lc.v-
'j]
Home of
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
PJZZAZZ
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 5 times per year. Copies are
sent bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.
Pizzas & Pesto
~
Charles E. Egeler, President
David A. Egeler, Vice President
printed on recycled paper
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
-2-
147River Street
PO Box 237
Elk Rapids, Ml 49629
616-264-8901
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Kirk Mallow
FROM THE PRESIDENT
Sheryl has been working with Deb M. Mary F. & Lissa on the High
Tea. I've talked with Deb & Sheryl about what they have planned. All
I can say is WOW!! Door prizes, Entertainment, along with great food.
This is something I'm not going to miss. I have a feeling Easter will
never be the same after this High Tea. My family will be out of town.
So I'll be spending Easter with my extended Family.
As always I encourage all of you to attend the FN monthly
meetings. This is your organization. Without you, it is nothing.
-Kirk.
Hello,
What's up with this weather? I had my
bike out in February, riding to work. I love the
snow and winter and the cold, but when we
get two weeks in February reaching into the
5O's I couldn't resist.
We did find just enough snow for a great winter party up in
Suttons Bay. If you didn't get out there you missed one of the best
get togethers so far this year. The 45 gays and lesbians sliding down
a hill is quite a sight, some of whom could represent the US in the
next Winter Olympics with a little practice.
The Chili Cook-off was a big hit, with Tim Schmidt winning the
Chili Crown. He has vowed that it will be passed on next year with a
few additions from his bag of tricks.
I had the chance to attend a Common Voices dinner and meeting
in the month of March. They are a wonderful group of people and I
enjoyed talking with newly made friends and some old ones in what
I found to be a stimulating evening. Some ideas and thoughts shared
with me by members of Friends North have opened up all kinds of
possibilities. I'm looking forward to future meetings and would
encourage everyone to go and check it out.
The FN Board has been working on many things the past few
months. Shelly, Brenda and Sheryl have membership renewals under
control. Every month renewal forms will go out reminding members
to renew their membership. This keeps a steady flow of revenue
coming in.
Sue, along with M'Lynn Hartwell, is clearing up the red tape
involved in updating the Friends North's Bylaws. Drafts of new Bylaws
have been provided to the board for review.
Dan, with M'Lynn's help, is still working on what tax status would
be best for F.N. There is a lot of red tape to sort through and the
board was handed the tax status options for review.
Alan Williams has been working on a FN Web site and will be
presenting the final format to the board at the April meeting. So be
looking for the new FN Web site soon.
Gretchen, Jeff and I have been working on the 98 F N Bike Tour.
The date has been set for July, 24,25,26. Mark your calendars. This is
one event you don't want to miss. Even if you
don't bike, consider coming out and joining us for dinner.
THINK SPRING WITH ...
Common Voices
THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP
A
~a-/e
pla-c-e
/cr't- t4e 9-a-~
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Tom Barkley and Ed Richardson
Common Voices, the Friends North Rap Group, extends a warm
welcome to everyone in our g/l/b/t community to attend all our
monthly events. Common Voices is an excellent resource for people
just entering our community ..
Our Rap Group gatherings are held the second Wednesday of each
month at 7:30 pm in the main floor church hall at Grace Episcopal
Church, 349 Washington St, Traverse City. Parking is available in back
and you can use the rear (north) entrance. Common Voices people
will be near the main church entrances until 7:30 to welcome and
direct first-timers. Rap sessions often include g/l/b/t topics and
videos, but more importantly include time for anyone who needs to
talk in a safe, comfortable environment.
In addition to rap sessions, Common Voices sponsors "Common
Nibbles" - the 4th Wednesday (7:00 pm) monthly local restaurant
gathering. A different local dining establishment is chosen each
month. Common Nibbles is an excellent complement to our rap
sessions, offering quality interaction (and quality food!). You don't
need to spend a lot of money, just come to the restaurant and ask for
the Common Voices group.
Common Voices, continued next page
MINER'S NORTH
EWELERS
Your Home
Food
JACQUIE
Spirits
Parties
222 E. Front Street
Traverse City, MI 49684
Downtown
CATERS!
PH: 616-946-8528
Fax: 616-946-3553
834 Indian Trail Traverse City, Ml 40686 phone 616-941-8558 fax 616-947-1187
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
-3-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
Common Voices continued from previous page
Common Voices regularly tries to sponsor additional activities such
as potlucks, hikes, video nights, etc., thanks to those who want to keep
the spirit of our group strong.
Common voices offers a free subscription to our monthly newsletter
(which is also a reminder of our gatherings and special events). Please
phone Ed or Tom at the numbers listed below to receive your copy. We
need your name(s) and mailing address. (Phone numbers are appreciated
but optional.) Our mailing list is confidential- no names/addresses will
be given out by anyone in Common Voices.
For any information about Common Voices/Rap Group/Common
Nibbles /CV newsletter/special events, phone Ed (947-4697} or Tom
{275-6127).
Since the last Networking, we have seen a video about relationships,
watched the movie "The Fox", and had a meeting where we talked with
Kirk Mallow the president of Friends North and our own Alan Williams
who is on the board. We discussed Friends North communications with
the members, our group, and the general public, and talked at length
about what the balance should be between the social and political
aspects of Friends North. Recent dinners were at The Pasta Company and
the Flap Jack Shack.
Our April meeting is on the 8th, and the topic will be safe sex. On
May 13 we are expecting a guest speaker, Loraine Anderson of the
Traverse City Record-Eagle. The June meeting is planned as an open
discussion.
LivE IN CoNcERT
Friday, June 1 2th
@8:00 PM
At DeVos Hall in Grand Rapids
For Tickets :
Outin
+About
A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information
UPCOMING EVENTS
May 23, Memorial Day Weekend MOVIES: Women from Down
Under & Costa Brava. For additional information call JoAnn at 9411702.
June 7, 1998 Sunday - Summer with a picnic in the park - Grace
MacDonald Park (formerly Forest Lakes Township Park) at the corner
of High Lake Road and Rasho Road, Traverse City. Bring picnic foods
(grilling available), drinks and your own table service. Charcoal,
lighter fluid, and matches will be provided. Games area available so
bring volleyball, softball, and tennis equipment, frisbees and other
lawn games. Mountain bike trails. Contact Brenda for into at 9462708.
July - No Coffeehouse - On your own.
August - No Coffeehouse - See you at the MI Womyn's Festival.
September 19, 1998 To be announced - maybe a movie.
October 17, 1998 - Annual Auction, Holiday buying for your
friends.
November 21, 1998 - Thanksgiving/Harvest Gathering and maybe
more.
December - No Coffeehouse - Happy Hanukkah/Merry Christmas
CALL: (616) 456-3333
S1>0NSOl'(ED
iv:
DIVERSIONS VIDEO BAR & GRILL
Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is generally held on the
third Saturday of each month except for this year there are
few changes in dates. Please see related Out n' About
Upcoming Events Calendar. No coffeehouses will be held for
1998 in April, July, August or December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11:00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of $3-5 ($5-$10 if we have
entertainment). Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks
are available.
Stay the weekend...
Call The Vacation Depot at (616) 454-4339.
Excellent Room Rates
at Days Inn Downtown Grand Rapids.
WEST
ktC!Ht<;AN
fANtlV REUNION
The coffeehouse is managed by an informal gathering of lesbians
who call themselves the Steering Committee. Please consider
joining the Steering Committee so that your ideas can be heard.
The committee meets for a couple hours on the Monday prior to
the 3rd Saturday coffeehouse or Monday prior to event, for
planning of each month's event. For coffeehouse information,
or location of committee meeting, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message.
111i
Saturday, June 13, 1998 @2:00 PM
at Ah Nab Awen Park in Downtown Grand Rapids
Food Booths T Merchant Booths T Speakers
Entertainment T Beer Tent T Dancing & Fun
NE1WORKING 4S' NORTH
-4-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
HELPLINE!
MICHIGAN PRIDE MARCH
HELP REQUESTED.
VOLUNTEERS
WANTED
Thank you so much for your support of the HELPline! in 1997
With hundreds of callers in 1997, the. Northern Michigan
Helpline! (Help and Information Line), has proven to be an extremely
valuable community resource!
The northern Michigan Helpline! assists individuals, and
families, to address concerns about same-gender affectional
relationships and orientation - through information, counseling and
intervention. Typical calls to the Helpline! include: people of all ages
wishing to discuss difficult coming-out issues, or seeking to locate
community events and services. Helpline! also helps parents who are
attempting to understand what it means for their child to be gay or
transgendered. Helpline! staff responds immediately in order to help
individuals and families cope with the difficulties they encounter as
the result of bias in our schools, family, church and community - 24
hours a day - every day of the year!
Would you please help us "help" hundreds of people in our
community again this year? Your generous contribution - mailed
today - will enable us to continue helping our community in 1998!
PO Box Nine - Traverse City MI 49685-0009
We are a non-profit 501(c)(3) community service organization .
Your charitable contribution is fully Tax Deductible within IRS
guidelines. If you would like to learn more about our successful first
year of service in 1997, please call M'Lynn at: 616.943.5050.
935 T 1666
Saturday, June 20, 1998
Downtown Lansing
Lansing-Michigan Pride, Inc., is looking for a few good men and
women to help make this year's Michigan Pride March the most
successful ever. Putting on the state's largest Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual,
Transgendered Pride event takes a lot of planning &work by the Pride
committee which is made up entirely of volunteers. "Our organization
is growing," said Co-Chair Tom Base, "but we still need a lot more
people to realize that Pride Changes Everything (this year's theme)
and to volunteer to help our community in any way they can."
So, needless to say, Michigan Pride, Inc., is always in search of
volunteers, either to join the committee or to help with Pride
weekend. Currently, we are looking for volunteers to help with the
Parade, Rally & Festival. "We need people who are willing to come
down early and help set-up everything, people who are willing to walk
& work the March, and volunteers that will help us tear everything
down at the end of the day," said Tom.
Set-up includes arriving early in the morning (around 7 AM) to
help at the festival site, which includes setting up all the tables and
chairs for the booths, stringing fencing up to designate various areas,
and generally being a Jack or Jill of all trades. For the March itself,
we need Monitors: people who actually march, but help keep control
of the parade and ensure the safety of the participants marching. And
at the end of the day, after the parade, rally, and festival are done,
we need people to help clean up everything.
If you think you'd like to volunteer, please call the Prideline at
517 /371-8466. Pride does change everything, so enhance your pride
by volunteering.
Additional information is available at
<pride@michiganpride.org>
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VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
ANGELS
TRANS SUPPORT GROUP MEETS
In October 1997 I attended the Friends North Board Meeting, and
received authorization to form a Transgendered Support Group under
the auspices of Friends North, Inc. Since that time Letters and phone
calls have produced a List of interested individuals. We met in
February and March in Traverse City, and although not everyone on
the list have attended, we have had two very enjoyable and
productive meetings. Wendy, who is the owner of Crowning Glory
Wigs in Traverse City, gave a program on wig selection and care
during our Last meeting. She has been a true friend of the
"community" for many years (Grand Rapids prior to moving to
Traverse City) and is always willing to help. We are extremely
fortunate to have her in our area. It is our plan to have a
presentation on various topics of interest at each meeting.
Discussions of purpose and direction for the group have revealed
a serious need for support and education. Some individuals are
deeply closeted, fearing the loss of family, friends and employment
if their secret were to be discovered. And those who are Less fearful
at this time, have not been so in the past. Some individuals have
never been to a T-Group meeting prior to this, while others have not
even talked to another crossdresser. It is not difficult to understand
the impact on one's mental health. One of the many subjects brought
up was an individual's concern of maintaining a relationship with
their God and Living a transgendered Lifestyle. So, I guess I would
have to say the formation of a T-Group has been an unqualified
success, and I am proud to have a part in it. If you know of anyone
who would be interested in attending the Friends North Trans Support Group, they can contact us by writing to:
T- Support Group
c/o Gwen Larson
PO Box 562
February 14, 1998. My Great-Aunt Margaret died today. She was
one of those peripheral relatives, those kind you rarely see, but every
year you get a birthday card, or they send something for your
graduation.
I suppose this is not special, and everyone has relatives Like this.
For me, however, those birthday cards were very special, for she
wasn't really my Great-Aunt. My mother had married and divorced her
nephew, and although only my brothers were her "natural" greatnephews, in her eyes I was her great-nephew too.
Having her acceptance was important beyond measure as I was
growing up, and even now. She and her sister, Grandma Paolillo, were
Loving helping hands to my family.
I remember Christmas' that might never have been without them.
Christmas' that parents struggled to pay bills, presents were out of
the question, and then a package would come, stuffed with gifts, for
all of us, and hidden, inside was an envelope. I never saw what was
in it, but I knew. There was no doubt, in our house, that Santa Claus
was not real, but we has something better, we had angels.
When I graduated from high school I got cards from them. They
told me how proud they were that I was part of the family and how
much they Loved me. That was the gift I remember most. That was a
gift that money could not buy and only true Love can give. They gave
me acceptance, for no other reason then just being alive, that was
reason enough for them. This is something that the vast majority of
my own "blood" family could not give me.
Many of us search for acceptance and Love, and unfortunately,
so many of us do not find it, even within our own families. Now, one
of my angels is gone and I realize, too Late, how much her gift meant
to me.
- Dan Miller
Traverse City, MI 49685
We will be meeting monthly in Traverse City, and for obvious
reasons the time and location is not openly published. Your letter of
inquiry is confidential, and should include a means of return contact
so that it may be responded to in an appropriate manner.
APA SUPPORTS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
The Executive Council of the New York City-based American
Psychoanalytic Association (APsa) on December 18 adopted a
resolution supporting Legal marriage for same-gender couples. In
doing so, APsa joins numerous other organizations and celebrities
which have adopted a resolution drafted by the national Freedom to
Marry Coalition, which reads, "Because marriage is a basic human
right and an individual personal choice, RESOLVED, the state should
not interfere with same-gender couples who choose to marry and
share fully and equally in the rights, responsibilities, and
commitment of civil marriage." APsa President Dr. Marvin Margolis,
chair of the APsa's Committee on Issues of Homosexuality Ralph
Roughton, M.D., and chair of the APsa's Board on Professional
Standards Dr. Donald Rosenblitt specifically added their names to the
APsa's announcement of its action.
Quality Vacation Accommodations For Womyn
In the Heart of the Sleeping Bear Dunes Nat'! Park
PO Box 457 Qlen Arbor Ml 49636 (616) 334-3346
NETWORKING 45° NORTH
-6-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
AIDS WALK MICHIGAN 1998
WORDS AND MUSIC: NEW BOOKS,
MAGAZINES, CDs AND TAPES
By Rick Gould
Here are some new titles for spring, from local book and music
stores:
At AB CD's, Norm e-mailed us this list:
Madonna, "Ray Of Light." Arguably the best work Madonna has
done in 10 years, the new CD was produced by techno wizard William
Orbit. Although a little behind the times, Madonna will bring this sound
to the mainstream. Simply a very good album. (It's like when Linda
Ronstadt went "New Wave"?)
Natalie Imbruglia, "Left Of Middle." Here is the latest female
vocalist "flavor of the month" - however Imbrugulia outshines many of
her peers. The first single, "Torn," has ripped up the charts and this disc
promises to do the same. 12 cuts of sheer enjoyment.
Soundtrack, "Traveller." Although this soundtrack, from the Bill Paxton
film, has been out for a year, we recently discovered what a gem it truly is.
Primarily country-based music with cuts by Randy Travis, Bryan White and
k.d. lang. This soundtrack is as enjoyable as the film.
Ricky Martin, "Vuelve." Latin heart-throb Martin delivers a fine package
of Latin pop music. Primarily sung in Spanish - even if you don't speak the
language you will understand everything being said here. (The language of
lowve?!) This Cd contains 14 cuts including the Spanish version of "Go the
Distance" from the Disney film "Hercules", as well as an instrumental tune
called "Casl Un Bolero". Good stuff!
Soundtrack, "Good Will Hunting." This disc contains some of the
best musical moments from the film of the same name. Particularly of
note are the performances by Pop/Rock singer/songwrite Eliott Smith.
Smith's "Miss Misery" has been nominated for an Academy Award for Best
Original Song from a motion picture. Other performances include music
by The Waterboys, Danny ELfman, Dandy Warhols and Andru Donalds.
Also be sure to check out Elliott Smith's solo effort entitled "Either/Or".
From Waldenbooks, Kevin mailed us these suggestions:
Wisecracker: The Life and Times of William Haines, Hollywood's
First Openly Gay Star, by William J. Mann, $29.95. Title kind of says it all,
doesn't it? Haines was a popular star in the silents and talkies, whose
breezy, natural presence made him equally adept in both comedy and
drama. This book covers how his career came to an abrupt end, his 50year love relationship, and his lifelong friendship with Miss Wirehangers
herself, Joan Crawford.
The Venice Adriana, by Ethan Mordden, $23.95. Another chockful novel by Mordden, this one grandly tells the story of a young writer's
relationship with a once-great opera diva, whose autobiography he's
agreed to write. Naturally, he soon finds himself in over his head. Shades
of "Sunset Blvd."?
The Rape of Ganymede-A Greg Quaintance Novel, by John
Peyton Cooke, $24.00. Gay Manhattan P.I. Greg is hired to thwart an
extortion attempt against Jimmy Gilber, a man-child musical superstar
accused of having sex with a young boy. When the accuser turns up dead,
and the boy goes on the run, the P.I. finds himself mixed up with greed,
depravity, and violence. Hopefully, the author won't find himself mixed
up with Michael Jackson's lawyer!
These stores appreciate your business and comments.
NE.1WORKJNG 45' NORTH
-7-
This year HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks will join 10 other cities to
participate in the first statewide AIDS Walk supported by the Michigan
AIDS Fund. The Walk will take place on September 27, 1998 at the
Senior Center with registration at 1:00 p.m. and step off at 2:00 p.m.
The purpose of the walk is to promote awareness for this deadly
disease and highlight services available in the community while
raising needed funding for AIDS programming in our local area.
Everyone's support is needed to make this a success so please consider
helping out.
We will be sending out donation forms so walkers can raise dollars
to support our efforts. We will also be looking for sponsors for the
event. If you would like to participate as a volunteer, donate money
for the walk or become a sponsor, please contact Brooke Gray at 9293111 or the Wellness office at 933-0279.
Michigan's residents need your support. Surveillance reports
estimate that between 8,500 and 12,000 Michigan residents are
infected with HIV, with perhaps thousands not even knowing they are
infected. AIDS is the leading cause of death for Michigan residents
between the ages of 25 and 44, surpassing even accidents, suicide,
heart disease and cancer. And the disease is quickly but steadily
becoming a disease of women, children and people of color.
Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk - AIDS Walk Michigan,
Sunday, September 27, 1998!!
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• United Way Agency
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Dear Editor
I like your Newsletter. Not only is it put together very professionally,
but invites its readers to express their views on a myriad of subjects. Today
I accept that invitation and write as a gay man, a deeply committed
Christian and a person who is deeply hurt by some of his gay brothers and
sisters for their prejudice and discrimination against a church which he
loves, which has accepted him as gay person and has honored his right
and obligation to follow his God-given conscience.
In my experience, the Gay Community is quick to condemn the
Catholic Church for what it thinks are the churches teachings, feelings and
attitude toward the homosexual population. The church is unfairly put
under a microscope of scrutiny not applied to other denominations. Too
frequently the gay community relies on rumor, hear say or third party
expertise rather than on the truth of what the church truly believes. The
catholic Bishops of the United States recently wrote a very informative
pamphlet entitled Always Our Children, which is intensely pastoral, caring
and speaks of gay children as gifts from God. This is a far cry from those
who would say that the church places every gay person in the lowest and
hottest regions of hell This pastoral message, addressed especially to
parents of homosexual children is excellent. while it is not perfect, it
definitely is a big step in the tight direction.
Rarely is it reported that hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent
by the Catholic Church to assist those with AIDS or who are HIV positive.
Next to nothing is said of the buildings, homes and other facilities donated
along with support services by the Catholic Church to assist our gay sisters
and brothers throughout the United States and the world. Little is said of
Mother Theresa's Sisters and their tremendous ministry to the Gay
Community. Practically nothing is said of the cardinal of New York who on
a weekly basis visits and prays with people dying of AIDS. Few in the gay
community know of Bishop Gumbleton of Detroit who speaks openly,
proudly and reverently of his gay brother. This bishop is not afraid nor shy
Jo affirm his respect for the Gay Community. And only on the rarest
occasion does anyone hear of the hundreds, conceivably thousands of gay
men and women who are very active in their church as Readers, Eucharist
Ministers, Ushers, Musicians as well as being involved in critical roles of
leadership of the parish.
Please do not lump the Catholic Chruch together with fundamentalists,
extreme evangelists, Anti-Disney Baptists, the Jerry Falwell gang and with
any person regardless of their religions who defame and discriminate against
gays. The Catholic Church embraces its gay children. As the bishops stated
so positively "God does not love someone any less simply because he or she
is homosexual. God's love is always and everywhere offered to all who are
open to receiving it"
Finally, in the words of the Catholic Bishops: "Nothing in the Bible or
in Catholic teaching can be used to justify prejudicial or discriminatory
attitudes and behaviors against gays. we call on all Christians and citizens
of good will to confront their own fears about homosexuality and to stop
ttie humor and discrimination that offend homosexual persons. Having a
homosexual orientation brings with it enough anxiety, pain and issues
related to self-acceptance without society bringing additional prejudicial
treatment."
Editor, I feel better now that I have been given an opportunity to
express my personal views and share my relationship with the Catholic
Church. To Catholics who are gay and have left the Church, I urge you to take
another look. Become involved in a parish and you will see that not only will
you be understood and loved, but you will be accepted just as you are. A
NElWORKING 45'NORTH
-8-
good friend, Fr. Jim McLaughlin, who recently died, worked with and had a
profound influence on the gay community. At his funeral which I attended
there were a large number of our gay family present who can testify that the
Bishop spoke eloquently, as did others, of Fr. Jim's work with the gay
community. Does that sound like a church hell bent on condemning God's
faithful, straight or gay I think not. Keep up the excellent work, I look
forward to each Newsletter and will continue to affrm my gayness and my
church.
Name Withheld At Writer s Request
A School Report, by The Triangle Foundation
A Colorado discrimination case demonstrates some of the problems
that are occurring with the Wayne-Westland School Board in Michigan.
W-W School Board first passed an anti-harassment policy to include
sexual orientation, then rescinded that policy after they were attacked
by "religious" conservatives. Here follows a letter from students at
Lutheran High School.
Dear Fellow Gay Rights Advocate,
We write to you regarding the expulsion of one of our friends, Jeremy
Garza, from Lutheran High School in Denver, Colorado. Jeremy is a
talented and spirited person. He was thrown out of his father's home and
has lost a lot of support from classmates, family members, and teachers
when he realized his sexuality. About a month ago, Lutheran's principal
ruled that Jeremy would not be welcome at the school if he continued to
support the gay community. This meant Jeremy could not display decals
on his car windows or wear clothing {unspecified}, makeup, or jewelry
which might imply that he belonged to or sympathized with the gay
community.
It has been a difficult battle for the queer community to earn the
limited status it has gained in society, but the battle has just begun.
Please join us in our attempt to get the queer community onto the
American breakfast table. As we strive to move from (in)tolerance to
acceptance, please show your support. We urge you to write a letter to
the administration of Lutheran High School at the address below.
Although all we seek is that you show your support by writing, we also
hope any further contacts or ideas you might have will get back to us.
We have nothing to lose here, and everything to gain. Thank you for your
time, and we hope to hear from (or about) you soon!
With Our Highest Regards,
Ash Branes
2543 S. Xavier St.
Denver, CO 80219-5615
Asherlauph@aoLcom
Gina Chirichigno
Hampshire #117 P.O.Box 5001
Amherst, MA 01002-5001
gchirichigno@hampshire.edu
Please write to:
HS Faculty, Administration and Students
c/o Pastor Jules Clausen
Lutheran High School
3201 W. Arizona Ave.
Denver, CO 80219
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
i8
P;operty of the Center
Livingston County Press, Brighton, Michigan, 2/18/1998
Letter to the Editor
DOES IT MATTER WHO IS CAY?.
After reading numerous articles, editorials, and letters from
around the community concerning the formation of the gay/straight
alliance group (Prism) at Howell High School, it appears that we're
divided on the issue. I thought perhaps a student's perspective in the
matter might be helpful.
I am a senior at Howell High School, and am in no way affiliated
with the Prism support group. Every day, I hear the racism and sexism
that has been instilled in out "future leaders" and "model students"
from every angle. This compares little with to the homophobia I hear.
Not only from students, but from staff as well. As I see it, homophobia
runs along the same line and logic as racism and sexism. Group A
believes it is naturally better so therefore has the basic right to put
down, exploit and lower the quality of life for Group B. This is a major
source of the class division endured at schools.
I often hear the gays portrayed in letters as rapists and
corrupters, whose sole purpose in life is to make your children gay by
using peer pressures a catalyst. I've known many people, both inside
and outside the group for years now, and they've NEVER asked anyone
I know of, "Would you like to be gay? I'll show you how!" Besides
bedroom behavior, they are no different than the rest of us. It makes
me ask - Why are their personal lives so intimidating to our society?
The thing that bothers me the most is people talking of
homosexuality as a "learned behavior," to say they are pressured into
being gay. If I were to ask people if they would rather be AfricanAmerican, most would say no. Why? They know that their CHOICE would
cause them to be a target of persecution, in school, on the job, or in
normal society. So would anyone CHOOSE a lifestyle of persecution?
There is no sense in the "learned behavior" argument at all.
One last point. It appears that many are under the impression that
the school began the Prism group. Wrong! The group was started by the
students and for the students. Their group is very discreet. The few posters
that were circulated didn't even have the words "gay" or "lesbian" on them.
Now, I know that many people in the community will say that
the group should be dissolved because it is held on school grounds.
Using that line of thought, maybe we should also dissolve the drug
recovery groups that are also held on school g4rounds? I mean, they
CHOSE to use drugs in the first place, right?
Now, before the Neanderthal conservatives in this town strike
their angry pens to paper in defiance, citing morals and "God's Word"
instead of simple fact, angry that the city is progressing (Yes!
Tolerance in place of ignorance is progress!), I want you to ask
yourselves this - Does it really matter if we're homosexual, bisexual,
Jewish, African, Asian, or White Angle-Saxon Protestants?
No, my friends, we're all HUMAN. And at least to me, that's all
that counts.
Rickey F. Novak, Jr.
TC PRID£ PICNIC
SATURDAY. JUN£
17
2:30-5:00 hiking,
biking, volleyball
5:00-7:00 Picnic
F.N. will provide Hamburgers, hot dogs,
tofu dogs, pride cake, and pop.
PLEASE BRING A DISH TO SHARE
7:00 comedy short
OPEN MIC TILL 9:00
Dance till 12 Midnight
$5.00 donation
ROBB FAR
Linda L. Wikle
Agent
Federau
DIIIIlllmllJID
Business & Personal Insurance
Risk Management • Life & Benefits
qu. re)
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
735 South Garfield Ave .
Traverse City, MI 49686-3471
616-947-4270
Fax 616-947-6497
www .federaugroup.com
Open Monday-Saturday- 6:00 pm - Sunday at 2:00 pm
616 T 935
T
1666 T 520 Franklin
T
Traverse City, MI 49684
Proudly Gay Owned and Operated since 1989
-9-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Ice
A
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(Note: All classified announcements are run without charge.
Please submit them in writing to the Friends North address, or call
the editor at 616-271-3042 and leave the advertisement on the
answering machine along with a contact phone number)
PERSONALS:
NATURAL MAN, 36 y.o., 210#, 6'2", good looking and looking for some
sensuous fun, possible relationship. I'm romantic and sincere. Love massage,
Native American culture, hiking, classical music. Write: Write to: Tahnodin,
Box 176, Leland, MI 49654 (issue 3)
NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS
ANNOUNCING A BUS TOUR TO TORONTO, to see an exciting, major exhibition
of Impressionist & Post-Impressionist art. Will visit other art & attractions
too, & stay at the Radisson Admiral Plaza, on the harbourfront. Leaving TC
Friday morning, June 26, returning Sunday evening, June 28. Call Tom
Albrecht at 938-2163 for details.
ON-GOING ANNOUNCEMENTS
RAINBOW FRIENDS reaches out to lesbians, gays, bisexual and the
transgendered in the NE Michigan area. Individuals in the region should feel
free to call 517-354-0841 and contact me (Brad Vauter) for more information.
Informal pot-luck type gatherings are generally held monthly in Alpena. In
addition, occasional field trips are sometimes planned by interested
participants. (issue 4)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to 9471110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/ AIDS Wellness Networks Grand
Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis Center volunteers. (Issue 5)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY is
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services are held on the
first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call 347-8916 for details
or write POB 873, Petoskey, MI 49770-0873 (Issue 5)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has begun a
VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION. The group will collect
hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay victims of such crimes. For
details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823. Report Hate Crimes! Stop the
Violence! (issue 5)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and treatment,
all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants, Depo-Provera, IUDs,
and Condoms. For more info about these and other methods which are
charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630. Services are by appointment
only. (issue 1)
GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH MEETINGS: The Friends North Board meets on the first
Tuesday of each month (Except August) at 6:30 p.m. at Grace Episcopal
Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets, across from the Old
Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 5)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of men and
women who get together monthly for informal discussion, often on a
particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of every month at Grace
Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30 pm. For information, call
Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at 947-4697. (issue 5)
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
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GLSEN, the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Education Network, is meeting monthly
in Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more
information, call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also welcome
and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace Episcopal
Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For more
information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 922-4800
or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C . Please see the Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running,
call Paul at 933-0572 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. He will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 5)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday evenings
from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at 341
Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month the
Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans Drive,
Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information, please
call 933-0279. (issue 5)
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information please
contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 5)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for
new voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 276-9357. (issue 5)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and eastern
upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit organization that
has committed itself to helping and supporting the needs of HIV infected
persons. They offer a number of services, including support groups,
education, public awareness, and one-on-one friendship support.
Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena, Gaylord, and Rogers City
areas. If you would be interested in the program, please call 616-5269213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians
are held each Wednesday at 5:30 pm and Saturday at 11:00 am at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in TC. For
further info, call John at 922-0746 or Hilda at 938-9294. (issue 5)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting on the last Monday
of each month, 7:30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on South Airport Rd., T.C.
For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Aimee. (issue 5)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first and
third Tuesday of each month, from 11:30 am until 1:00 at a local, Traverse City
restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact Friends North. (issue 5)
•10-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Imagine a
school where
no students,
f acuity or staff
have to face
discrimination,
harassment, or
hatred.
Education and Ethics for the 21st Century
FOR SCHOOL BOARD
Please help me make this a reality.
I need your vote and financial support.
Drop of a check at The City Opera House on Thursday, May 14th,
and stay for a special benefit concert by one of classical music's rising stars: Richard Stadler.
Admission is free. If you cannot attend, please send a check to:
The Committee to Elect Ian Whitney• P.O. Box 1129 Traverse City, MI 49685
PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT IAN WHITNEY
Education and Ethi_cs for the 21st Century
·- FOR SCHOOL BOARD
A very special fund-raiser with a performance
by one of classical music's rising stars:
Richard
Stadler
guitarist
Thursday,
May 14th
The City Opera House
112 1/2 E. Front Street, Traverse City
Admission is free. If you cannot attend, please send a check to:
The Committee to Elect Ian Whitney • P.O. Box 1129 Traverse City, MI 49685
PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT IAN WHITNEY
Gay Men have waited a lifetime for safe places of healing. We would like to offer one of them ...
For Gay Men:
The Retreat of a Lifetime
wt;;
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
if... ,:r
the hurt little Gay kid inside experienced unconditional love?
the shame you feel about being a Gay man began to heal?
you were whole and not fragmented?
you could learn how to have healthy Gay friendships?
you felt total acceptance?
you could learn to create an intimate Gay relationship?
you broke unhealthy family of origin patterns?
The things you just read are some of the goals of a Retreat Weekend hosted by Stephen Fleck and
Joe Kort, both Psychotherapists with experience working with Gay men. The retreat is appropriate for Gay
men who are partnered or single. This retreat is for the strong man who is 'willing to work through sorrow in
order to achieve joy. The retreat will include experiential exercises, lectures, guided imageries, written exercises and communication processes. This means that Joe and Stephen will guide you through issues in a safe,
caring and confidential atmosphere, allowing your Gay self to unfold.
The Retreat of a Lifetime
February 27, 28 & March 1, 1998 or June 5, 6 & 7, 1998
(See other side for details)
About Your Guides ...
Joe Kort, MA, MSW, ACSW is certified with the State of
Michigan as a Social Worker. He
has both a master's degree in Social
Work (MSW) and in Psychology
(MA) . He has been in clinical
practice since 1985.
specializes
in
Imago
Joe
Relationship Therapy which is a
specialized program designed to
help couples heal their relationships. Joe is also trained in working
with adult survivors of sexual abuse/incest issues,
sexually compulsive behaviors, chemical dependency,
depression and anxiety. Joe also facilitates Gay men's
psychotherapy groups. Individual therapy is also
available.
Stephen Fleck, MA has a masters degree in Clinical and
Humanistic Psychology (MA) and
has been in private practice for several years.
Stephen works with the Gay community providing a safe and confidential environment. He helps clients to
heal from anxiety and depression;
cultural, religious and sexual shame;
homophobia and internalized homophobia; intimacy dysfunction; and
addictive/ compulsive behaviors. He
also has extensive training in Integral
Psychotherapy and Motional Processing. Both therapeutic
approaches focus on integrating cognitive thinking with
expression of feeling to create healing and positive change.
Stephen works with individuals and couples along with
facilitating several groups.
Both Joe and Stephen have a professional and personal commitment to the health
and personal growth of the Gay men's community. For information call:
Joe Kort~ 248/399-7317
Stephen Fleck~ 810/558-3819
Location, Dates and Cost
The Retreats are held in the privacy of Stephen Fleck's
offices at 29500 Ryan Road, just north of 12 Mile, in
Warren, Michigan. Feel free to call either Joe Kort or
Stephen Fleck at the numbers listed below for more
information.
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Upcoming Retreat of a Lifetime dates:
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February 27, 28 & March 1, 1998
or
June 5, 6 & 7, 1998
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29500 Ryan
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Times for either sessions are as follows:
Friday 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. • Saturday 9:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.
Sunday 9:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
E. 12 Mile Road
The Retreat is $200. 00 in advance or $225. 00 if 7 days or less prior to first retreat date.
If you have to cancel up to 8 days prior to the retreat, all but $50.00 of your registration fee will be refunded to you.
No refunds will be made if:
l.
You cancel 7 days or less before the retreat
2.
You do not attend
3.
You do not complete the retreat
To reserve your space, simply fill out the registration form below, detach and mail with your payment.
For more information call:
Joe Kort - 248/399-7317
Stephen Fleck -
810/558-3819
g,<:----------------------------------------.
~ Registration Form - R.etreat of a Lifetime ~
Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _State _ _Zip Code _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Phone: Daytime (
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Evening (
Please indicate which weekend
you will be attending:
Please make your check or money order payable to:
Joe Kort or Stephen Fleck
Mail payment along with completed registration form to:
Retreat of a Lifetime
217 5. Knowles St.
Royal Oak, MI 48067
BEING BLIND AND GAY
(Editor's Note: The following article was originally published in a
French-Canadian magazine and is republished here with the
permission of its author, Robert, who can be rea_ched via e-mail at:
harlynn@panix.com)
I was born on December 1, 1949. I was three months early, and
only weighed llb 14oz. I was put into an incubator and, due to the
amount of oxygen I was given, my retina cells developed too quickly,
and became so damaged that by the time I was brought home from
the hospital, I was totally blind. I of course have never seen and have
absolutely no visual memories at all.
My parents decided that they would try to treat me as normally
as possible, and although I often heard the word "blind" I did not
really know what it meant. I was guided by my mother, or by my
aunts. I was always made a fuss over because people said I was such
a "cute little boy". Many lamented my fate, but I was carefree and
happy. When I was about _5 years old, I began to realize that I was
different from other children. I heard children running around
without being guided. Kids talked about coloring, drawing, and
writing with a pencil. When I asked my mother, she told me that I
would go to school and learn to read and write braille. I knew I was
different, but I of course did not understand the ramifications of my
blindness, and took all in stride.
When I was about 8 years old, I began to realize that other kids
made friends more easily than I did. I went to a school far from my
home, and was taken there by bus. There were other blind kids at the
school, and I noticed that we all stayed together. When we did go to
classes with the sighted kids, we were treated kindly, but were not
really fully included . I would sit for hours listening to kids read out
loud from print books, or hear the teacher writing on the black board.
I loved the sound the chalk made against the blackboard, but I
realized that others could read what was being written, and all I could
do was listen to the sound of the chalk.
I will skip a few years and talk about when I was 14 years old,
and in the ninth grade. I began to be teased by the other blind kids,
because I mostly wanted to play with the girls, and did not want to
participate in the rough games the blind kids played. They would play
a form of hockey and use a large closet to guide the puck. I was afraid
of these games because I was always overweight, slow, clumsy, and I
usually wound up getting badly hurt. Also, I did not enjoy them. I
much preferred sitting and reading a braille book, or talking to the
girls. I even learned to bounce a ball, and learned some of the rhymes
the girls would say while playing ball or jumping rope. I was teased
unmercifully, and soon, even the girls got tired of playing with me,
and so I mostly stayed alone, reading, and listening to what was
going on around me. I knew that I was very different from the other
kids, and I felt horribly lonely. I didn't fit in with the sighted kids,
but what was worse, I didn't fit in with the blind kids, either. All the
boys were interested in sports and rough games. I wasn't. Some talked
about girls, but because I was blind from birth, and because nobody
ever talked to me about sex, I had no idea what was being discussed.
I am ashamed to say that I didn't even know the difference between
girls and boys, except that girls were usually nicer to me, and yet, I
felt a strange feeling when hugging a male student.
When I was 15 years old, a girl explained to me how babies were
born.
"You're very stupid!" Harriet told me. "Your father stuck his penis
in your mother's hole, and that's how you were born. Don't you know
anything?"
I wanted to ask more questions. Where was this hole? What was
all this talk about "hard ons" and "erections?" But I knew that if I
admitted how little I knew, I'd be laughed at, so I kept quiet.
I could not ask my mother. She never talked about such things,
and I knew she would only be upset and tell me not to ask so many
questions. So, I ordered books in braille about sex, and read them,
and had a vague understanding.
What is surprising, and very important, is that I began to realize
that I was attracted to other boys and men, and not to women. I
realized that I had a strange feeling when close to people of my own
sex that I did not have when I was with women. I somehow knew
that this was not the way it should be, and never mentioned it to
anyone.
I will now talk about my college years. I spent 4 years at a well
known college in Ohio. I had finally figured out that I was gay. I
wondered if there were other gay students, but did not know how to '
meet them. I tried dating girls, and forced myself to kiss them, but I
knew it wasn't working. I wanted to talk about my feelings, but had
nobody to express them to. When I was a senior, (my last year of
college) some students who I had heard were gay decided to start a
discussion group. I wanted to go, but was afraid to ask for directions
to where the discussion was taking place, because I did not want
others on campus to realize I was gay. To understand my dilemma, it
is important to realize that I was not able to fit in with the other
students because of my blindness. I had some casual friends, but I
was not part of any social group. I spent much time alone, or being
read to by fellow students. I therefore was very uneasy about
admitting that I was gay, because I was afraid I would be even more
unaccepted than I already was. I felt that I had enough strikes against
me by virtue of the fact that I was blind and overweight. I didn't have
the courage to add another problem to the list.
During my four years at college, I never had any gay friends, and
never even knew that one of my roommates was gay. I kept all of my
feelings inside.
Now, I must talk about my two years in France. I went to France
through an American program, and I stayed there for two years. I
arrived in France after my graduation from College. I met two blind
guys who were gay. One was a fellow from Algeria, and the other was
a blind French guy. I had my first experiences with them. I wanted
desperately to meet other French gay people, but was afraid to ask
my classmates. I had no access to printed materials, and no way to
try to meet French gay people.
When I returned from France, I got a job working with nonEnglish speaking kids who needed help with reading and speaking
English. I badgered my parents until they helped me get my own little
BLIND
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
-11-
continued page 12
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
BLIND
continued from page 11
studio apartment. I still live in this apartment, as rents are very high
in NYC, and I am presently on a fixed income because I took an early
retirement. But getting back to my story: when I finally had my
apartment, I decided I was going to try to meet gay people. I was
now free from my parent's restrictions, and I had a guide dog. So, I
was ready to conquer the gay world! But how could I find out
information? I had nobody to read printed material to me dealing
with gay subjects. I had no way to know who was gay and who wasn't.
I wondered how sighted gay people met. I finally called a gay hotline
and was given the names and addresses of some gay bars. I was told
about a group called "mirth and girth" which is for overweight gay
people. (In Montreal, I think the group exists under the name Club
Panda.)
I remember my excitement when my guide dog and I set out for
our first gay bar. We got off the subway at Christopher Street, a street
in the heart of the village. I asked for directions to the bar, and got
there. Once inside, I realized that this wasn't going to work! First of
all, the noise level was incredible! I couldn't hear a thing. Second of
all, because I couldn't see, 1 had no idea what was going on around
me. I was basically rendered deaf and blind because of the noise level.
I sat at the bar, and felt worse and worse as time went by. Nobody
tried to talk to me. I finally got the courage to tap the person next to
me, and to try to strike up a conversation. The guy was polite, but
after talking with him a while, he told me he was with someone. I
realized that I had no way of knowing who was alone, who was with
someone, and what was going on. I left the bar. I went to other bars
on subsequent days, but had no better luck. The only time people
talked to me was when I asked for directions, or they had to guide
me to help me cross the street.
I began to realize that being blind was proving to be a barrier in
my meeting gay people. I decided that, perhaps the problem was the
fact that I was overweight. So, I decided to go to a Mirth and Girth
dance. Surely, there would be people much heavier than I was, and
surely I'd have a better time. Well, unfortunately, the same thing
happened. I was shown to a seat, and there I stayed. Nobody came
over to talk to me. I finally left and vowed I would never try to meet_
gay people in this way. It wasn't working, and I was feeling worse
about being blind and being gay than I ever had in the past.
What is my situation now? Well, I am 47 years old. I have very
few gay friends. I have strong opinions, though. Basically, I am
disappointed with the gay community, at least in NYC. I had thought
that, because of the horrors of AIDS, gay people would be sensitized
to the needs of others. But this hasn't been my experience. It seems
that the gay community is ready to help those who become blind from
AIDS. They reach out to those suffering from Aids. This is how it
should be. But this compassion does not extend to those of us who
are gay, but who are blind for other reasons. What I am about to say
may sound harsh, but it seems to me that if you are a person with
AIDS, you gain a certain respect, even a certain prestige in the gay
community. Organizations are set up to help meet your needs. You
are included, and you are helped. But if you are just an ordinary gay
person with a disability, you don't have that certain "mystique". You
are basically not made to feel like you belong.
Imagine walking down a heavily gay populated street. You see a
blind person with his guide dog. You probably don't stop to ask
yourself, "Is he gay? Could he want to talk? Would we have something
in common?"
I am hoping that this article will give readers a better
understanding of what it is like to be blind and gay. I am also hoping
that I will make some new friends and meet some people who will
accept me for who I am, and who will be able to look beyond my
blindness. What is sad to me is that I have met some exceptionally
kind gay women, and some straight men, with whom I have become
friendly. But I want to have more gay male friends. I want to be able
to talk with other gay men, take walks with them, have things
described to me, have things read to me that pertain to gay topics,
and have a few buddies who I can feel a closeness to.
I was in Montreal last summer and was very impressed by the
kindness of many of the people I met. I therefore decided to try to
place an ad in the magazine, hoping to make some contacts. This
would enhance my future visits to Montreal. And, it would be a great
way for me to practice my French. I'd love to hear gay articles read to
me in French. Think of all the new vocabulary I'd learn! And, just
maybe, I'd make some deep, meaningful friendships: something that
hasn't happened to me in NYC.
I don't want to limit myself to only French-speaking gay people.
After all, perhaps there are some English speakers who read this
magazine.
Please feel free to contact me. I hope that I have been able to
give you a glimpse of what it is like for me as a totally blind and gay
person. I ask only that I be accepted for who I am.
It is of course important to realize that certain things are a must.
First of all, it is imperative that any new friends I make understand
that I am blind and will need help with certain tasks: being guided,
having things read to me, and having movies described. Also, it is
important that anyone wanting to get to know me understand that I
have a guide dog, and my dog comes with me. When I am walking
with a friend, my dog, Harley, walks at my side on his leash. He does
not guide me unless I take the harness
handle. Under the laws of the Province of Quebec, guide dogs are
accepted in all public places. For the most part, I have found the
Quebecois to be wonderful in understanding this, but I will never
permit anyone to try to tell me I cannot enter with my dog, whether
BLIND
continued page 13
•
.
.
.
{616) 941-8868
:Fa;"({616} 941-9063
·Hrs 9am-7pm Daily· Out of town phone 800- 76-
1081 S. Airport Road West, Traverse City, MI 49686 (Co onia
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
-12-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
BLIND
continued from page 12
it be a restaurant, or a taxi. So, I guess I am asking that my new
friends understand this. My dog and his work and devotion to me must
be accepted and respected.
Once I make a friend, with time and patience, my blindness
becomes less of an issue. In fact, a close friend of mine who comes
to read my mail every week, has told me that he just takes it as a
matter of course. He guides me easily and knows that "No dog, no
Bob!"
I have a good long distance program that enables me to call
Canada for only 12 cents a minute. So, I will be able to call you back.
I can speak French pretty well, but do make errors at times.
I thank you for reading my article. I hope it gives you a better
understanding of who I am . Remember, whether we can see or not,
whether we can hear or not, whether we can walk or not, we are all
human beings with the same needs, desires, wants, dreams, and
hopes. We are not as different as outward appearance would make
you think at first glance!
is a case of "selfhealing." The traditionally angry, obsessive Christian male
has just evolved another step. Mostly erect, and occasionally cognizant, one
step higher on the physio-spiritual evolutionary ladder. Never mind the fact
that the rest of humanity arrived at this plane over 130 years ago during the
Lincoln era. Butthead raves on about PK's stand on racial equality, and I
wanted to say something like "Welcome to the 19th century". But I didn't.
What surprised me the most was that he actually thinks he put one over
on me, that I am swallowing his raft of crap, hook, lie, and stinker. He expects
me to approve of his involvement in the Promise Keepers! He may have even
thought he had converted me. Does he think that because I'm gay, I'm
stupid?
I must have been so stunned that I went numb. Either that or I just
chickened out, the way I did when the state trooper asked about the
significance of the rainbow triangle in my back window, and I said "just
decoration". Don't worry, at least I abused myself emotionally afterwards for
about an hour, and it will never happen again, till next time. He gave me a
ticket anyway, so I have been properly admonished.
So I said nothing to Butthead; nothing like the truth, that is. Nothing
like, "Wake up you idiotic Aryan peabrain" or "Yoohoo - earth to Pod-boy" or
"Here's a dollar - go buy a friggin' clue. Discrimination against anyone is still
bigotry." No, I mumbled something untrue yet stupid, like "Gee, that's nice".
But don't worry- I'm still punishing myself for that one. It will never happen
again, till next time.
CONFESSIONS OF A
PROMISE KEEPER'S BROTHER
by Diamond Sellars
My brother is a Promise Keeper. This is not to say, of course, that he
always keeps his word. I doubt Diogenes would have thrown away his lamp
if he had met him. My brother is a Capital P Promise Keeper. He belongs to
that testosterone-based neo-Nazi group led by Bill McCartney and his
Colorado anti-gay brigade.
For a long time I put up with Bill McCartney, even though I have been
openly gay for 12 years. I humored my young niece when she proudly showed
me her WWJD jewelry. I controlled my rage when an acquaintance suggested
that God could "heal me" of homosexuality. More importantly, because
Promise Keepers seemed to have a good effect on some of the abusive
Christian members I have known, I bit my tongue. They appeared to be
better, calmer, more socially aware creatures, so I let it go. Most importantly,
the Promise Keepers generally left me alone.
I was surprised recently when my brother the Promise Keeper called,
not because he called, but by what he said. My brother - let's just call him
Butthead, because no one should be without a name, even in a column
written by some bitter queen with a pseudonym - my brother has been
overtaken by the Promise. He is a Pod- boy now, having been replaced in his
sleep by the subtle tentacles of a perverse alien growth. Of course, he always
was a little bit different. One of "them", you know, prone to sacrificing reason
on the altar of passion. But I fear they have him now. I only hope God can
forgive him, because he definitely knows not what he does.
Butthead is very excited about Promise Keepers. "Such a positive force
in American society", he claims. "What a bold stand against racial bigotry in
the church. How enlightened they are, calling upon each other as brother to
brother, to be more honest, more responsible, gentler, and more tolerant. It
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
-13-
WELLNESS NETWORKS OFFICE MOVES
After three good years with the United Way, Wellness Networks
has moved there office to 112 West 14th Street to join the American
Red Cross. "It was a hard decision to relocate" said Jim Carruthers
Executive Director for Wellness Networks, "but the new location
offers a much larger space, with windows, and a chance to work
hand in hand with the American Red Cross."
The new Red Cross building is similar in size to United Way with two
training rooms, a spacious administrative office area, employee
lounge and high visibility along 14th street. Wellness will miss the
United Way but looks forward to a future with the American Red
Cross. Stop by for a visit anytime and look for the open house in
the near future.
Carolyn R. Delo
Sales and Leasing
1331 South Garfield
Traverse City, Michigan 49686
Telephone 616-941-0700 x 143
FAX 616-941-8145
1-800-942-4 724
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/ JUNE 1998
WHERE HAVE
You BEEN, MY FRIEND?
by Greg Baird
Like the great Houdini, I disappeared for a few months and now
I am happy to say that I have returned. I have had so many folks ask
me where I have been and why I haven't written for what has seemed
like ages.
Well first, my job has been keeping me busier than usual and I
also have been speaking to different groups on building a positive
gay communality, gay youth and self esteem in the gay community.
My source of inspiration to speak came from my friend and exboyfriend James. If you had read my column over a year ago you
would know that I met James in 1990. He was the very first boyfriend
I ever had - the first time I really ever felt truly in love.
About a year after we split up, James contacted HIV from
unprotected sex. I found out in October of 1996 he had full blown
AIDS. I told him from the moment I met him until the day I found
out he had full blown AIDS that I would always be there for him, even
when he got ill. Well that time came this past November. James was
no longer able to communicate verbally with me, our conversation
was through eye blinks and hand squeezes.
The last time I was able to take him outside of his home was a
week before Thanksgiving. I can still see myself sitting in a local park,
in my jeep, hand-feeding him a Big Mac and a Strawberry Shake - his
favorites. That moment will pass through my mind for the rest of my
life.
Christmas Eve was the last time I saw James alive and when I
left his bedside to go home, a tear rolled down his cheek. I remember
that two hour drive home to Petoskey was filled with questions on
why he cried. I know now in my heart he wanted to get through the
holidays and then say good-bye.
On January 2, 1998 at 5:00 pm in the afternoon, James passed
away. I'm glad I was there for him and that he was able to leave this
world knowing he was loved - in so many different ways. It was
wonderful knowing I was loved by him too.
Through all of this and during conversations with James, I have
been inspired to talk to colleges, groups and organizations about gay
issues as well as HIV/AIDS. As a person who is HIV negative, I have
a stronger desire to get the message out. I am hoping through my
life story and my time with James, I am able to inspire others about
the gift of life, the gift of friendship and commitment.
fi
For A World
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On February 13 - 17, I was asked by Jeanie White-Ginder, Ryan
White's mother, to come to Los Angeles and speak to 400-500 teens,
peer educators, teachers, parents and care givers at the Ryan White
National Youth Conference on HIV/AIDS. The conference was titled
"Life Activists." As one of the keynote speakers, I was able to talk
about "Building a Positive Community, Self Esteem and Role
Modeling." It was an incredible experience.
I spoke about how we can be the "rock" in our community. When
that rock gets thrown into a pool of water, ripples blend outward from
the center of that splash. We need to have that effect in our
communities. The wave of change. It starts with you,
then your friends, co-workers, communities, state, country and world.
We all have a gift to offer our community. It can be anything from
cooking for the poor, inspiring others, writing, leading, whatever you can offer that wave of change.
During the Ryan White Youth Conference, I met so many people
who were doing incredible work in their communities. Gay and
straight youth were able to work together side by side and were really
making a difference - inspired in a variety of ways.
May you too be able to start that wave of change in your
community. Nothing will happen if you don't get involved. And, if
you can inspire others along your way - you will have started that
wave of change. Best wishes on your venture.
ANNNERSARY BLUES?
Alan Williams
It's getting close to my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend. It
wasn't really that easy to figure out an anniversary date: He and I first
met each other, over the phone, about eight years ago, but we didn't get
together until last year. However, even "get together" is a tricky term in
our case. We ran into each other on the Internet in January; he came up
to see me (and we met in person for the first time) in March; and he
moved up here
in May.
So where do you start the anniversary process in a situation like
that?
I used to think anniversaries were simple. You meet someone, you
fall in love, you settle down, and somehow the anniversary date just
comes in there. If you're married or you have a commitment ceremony of
some kind, then there's your anniversary date. As yet, however, there's
no commitment ceremony in my immediate future, and the eight-year
gap between my first conversation with my boyfriend doesn't lend itself
to a "first anniversary" scenario very well. To complicate it further, there
was the Internet. Does that count as an anniversary? For some people it
does; I've heard of couples celebrating their anniversaries based on when
they hooked up after, uh, "hooking up." Then there's the matter of
meeting in person: My
Anniversary continued next page
-14-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
boyfriend first showed up in Traverse City in early March to spend a month
with me, but he didn't actually move up here until early May. I can't even
fall back on the "day I took him home" bit; when he moved up from
Missouri, my parents offered him overnight accommodations, so I was
nowhere near when he met the folks.
So the dilemma remained. When my boyfriend brought up the
question of "When is our anniversary?" I had no easy answers. I knew I
loved him before we ever met face to face, and my interest in him had
withstood a separation of many years. But where do you put your finger
on a calendar and say "Here was the magic moment"?
Oh, so many decisions. Who would've ever thought that anniversaries
were decided by committee?
I'm happy to say that my boyfriend and I settled on an anniversary
date. Really, it was my choice, since he said he already knew he loved me
before we met. However, I was the one who picked out the day as the
one he arrived at the airport for his month-long visit.
That was the day I put a face to the man I love.
TRIANGLE NEWS BRIEFS
Buy Your Dogs-n-Suds from Triangle
Triangle is "coming out" at the ball game. This year for the first
time, volunteers will staff Tiger Stadium's concessions. Triangle has
signed up as a fundraising project and will receive 10% of its gross
concession sales. When you are at a Tiger game, look for our banner
and come over and say "Hi." If you would like to join us and be a
volunteer, call Gary Sarto at the Triangle Office.
When given the company's volunteers contract to sign, we noted
that sexual orientation was not included in their local
nondiscrimination policy statement. Triangle Board member and
attorney, Rudy Serra, contacted the concession company, and they
are seriously considering including sexual orientation in both their
local and corporate policies.
Hate-Motivated Violence Continues to Rise
On Tuesday, March 3, the Triangle Foundation held a press
conference for the gay and mainstream media to publicize the 1997
report of hate-motivated violence against the lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender and HIV-positive (lgbth) people. Sadly, the news is not
good. While crime rates fell dramatically across the country, hatemotivated violence against lgbth people rose 2% in 1997 following a
6% increase in 1996.
The rise of hate-motivated violence in Detroit and Michigan is
even more disturbing. In 1997, the Michigan lgbth people
experienced a 12% increase in violence! We hope that at least a
portion of this increase is the result of lgbth people being more
willing to report violence against them.
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
-15-
FAITHFUL FRIENDS
Why People of Faith Should Support Equality for
Gays and Lesbians
The Interfaith Alliance, a nationwide organization with members from
more than 50 denominations and communities of faith, formally
announced in September its endorsement of the Employment NonDiscrimination Act. This move came after serious analysis of the bill's
objectives, and after considering the moral responsibility of people of
faith to actively support civil rights for all Americans. Dr. Herbert 0.
Valentine, founding president of The Interfaith Alliance, explains some
of the process that led to this critical show of support.
IN 1996, RALPH REED, TH EN EXECUTIVE director of the Christian
Coalition, made a public apology. He said that most of the people
who make up the Christian Coalition stood on the sidelines of the civil
rights struggle of the 1960s. While thousands of people were maimed
or murdered, while hundreds of churches were bombed or burned,
while the religious and political demagogues told America that God
supported segregation of the races, they stood silent. That was wrong,
Reed said. He is sorry.
In the 1970s, the civil rights struggle added to its focus the
promotion of equal rights for women. As millions of American women
fought for equal pay and equal opportunities, they, too, found '
religious political extremists blocking their path.
Today, the civil rights struggle continues, not only for African
Americans, women, the disabled and other ethnic minorities but for
lesbians and gay men. So it should come as no surprise that the
Christian Coalition, the Family Research Council and other political
religious extremist organizations are trying to block the Employment
Non- Discrimination Act, a bill to outlaw job discrimination based on
sexual orientation. Just as they did with the civil rights bills of the
1960s and the Equal Rights Amendment of the 1970s, the religious
right has denounced ENDA as a threat to "traditional family values."
They claim that ENDA would place immorality on the same footing as
morality and force some communities of faith to accept behavior and
activities that run counter to their religious beliefs. They also assert
that ENDA equates sexual orientation with race and gender, thereby
weakening the civil rights of women and African Americans.
None of these claims are true. ENDA does not affect heterosexual
families, it is not a proclamation about morality and it does not force
any community of faith to change its present beliefs about sexual
Continued next page
A.L. Mitchell & Associates
MEMBERS OF BAY BUSINESS RESOURCE GROUP
ANDREW L. MITCHELL
Accredited Business Accountant
803-B South Garfield Ave.
Traverse City, MI 49686
Phone (616) 947-1492
Fax (616) 941-9088
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Continued from previous page
behavior. Rather, ENDA strengthens civil rights by extending them
to those who currently suffer legal discrimination in the workplace.
On ENDA, as on so many subjects, Christian Coalition founder Pat
Robertson and James Dobson- head of another political religious
group, Focus on the Family do not speak for all people of faith. They
do not even speak for a majority of Christians. Recent polling by the
Human Rights Campaign shows that 70 percent of Christians believe
that "gays and lesbians should be protected from discrimination in
the workplace." Furthermore, 63 percent of all Christians favor
passage of "a bill which would extend current civil rights protections
in the workplace to cover gays and lesbians." Clearly, the Christian
Coalition is out of step with a majority of Christians; Focus on the
Family needs to focus on the facts.
The simple truth is that the vast majority of Christians and other
people of faith believe in fairness and equality, and therefore support
civil rights for all Americans. Whatever their particular views on
homosexuality, most people of faith believe that no group of Citizens
should be singled Out for legal discrimination, and no American
should be treated unfairly in the workplace. That's why the majority
of people of faith reject the gay bashing rhetoric of the extreme right
and support ENDA.
That is also why The Interfaith Alliance has endorsed ENDA. The
alliance is a nonpartisan grassroots organization that promotes the
positive role of religion in American society and provides people of
faith with a mainstream alternative to political religious extremism.
As a nationwide organization with members from more than 50
denominations and communities of faith, The Interfaith Alliance has
a strong commitment to diversity and tolerance. Our shared religious
values compel us to affirm the dignity and worth of all human beings,
whatever their race, sex, religion or sexual orientation.
The decision to endorse EN DA was made by The Interfaith
Alliance board of directors. As a coalition of diverse people of faith,
we have our differences on a number of issues-including
homosexuality. But we are absolutely united in our firm commitment
to civil rights for all Americans. We cannot stand by silently and allow
members of the gay community, or any group, to face discrimination
in the workplace. Nor car we allow religious political extremists to
speak on Our behalf. That is why we at The Interfaith Alliance join
with people of faith across America and proudly endorse ENDA.
THE TROUBLE WITH
'DON'T ASK DON'T TELL'
'
New Defense Department draft report shows that the number of
homosexuals being forced out of the military under the "Don't ask, don't
tell, don't pursue" policy is 67 percent higher than when the policy was
adopted in 1993. The report is silent on what might be causing this
surprising result. Yet the Pentagon seems resistant to examining the most
disturbing and obvious possibility, which is that base and unit commanders
are subverting a policy that was intended to stop witch hunts and to insure
some measure of privacy for gay men and women in the ranks.
The Pentagon spin is that service members are voluntarily declaring
themselves gay to get out of the military. But if that were true, wouldn't
discharge numbers have stayed roughly the same from year to year?
The report should cause Defense Secretary William Cohen to worry
that commanders are not being adequately trained on the purpose of the
policy or the appropriate limits on investigations. At the same time, the
nominal policy may be causing homosexuals to believe that they need
not remain as vigilantly closeted as they were before. In any event, the
promise of greater tolerance that was supposed to follow President
Clinton's declaration ofthis new policy is turning out to be unfounded.
Military guidelines say that investigations cannot be based on mere
suspicion or rumor. Associational behavior such as going to gay bars or
reading homosexual books is not to be used as evidence of homosexual
conduct. Yet there continue to be cases where service members are
directly asked about their sexual orientation. Reliance on anonymous
reports is not uncommon.
In some egregious situations, individuals who complained about antigay harassment were then investigated for being gay. The decision to begin
an investigation is left to the commanding officer. Yet some commanders
are inadequately versed on the guidelines, according to the report.
At a minimum, better training has to be put in place. The report
also recommends that commanders consult with legal officials before
initiating investigations. But these improvements will not cure the
injustice inherent in a military that is allowed to drum effective people
out for no reason other than homosexuality. Mr. Clinton erred in 1993
when he let Gen. Colin Powell and others bully him into backing away
from his original intention to ban discrimination against homosexuals in
the military. This report provides a measure of that error.
Reprinted from The New York Times Company
Char P. Kirchner,
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-16-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
DNC INCLUDES GAYS & LESBIANS
IN DELEGATE SELECTION RULES FOR
2000 CONVENTION
"MILLENNIUM"
MARCH ON WASHINGTON
The nation's largest gay and lesbian political
organization and the nation's largest gay faith-based movement
announced plans today to sponsor a march on Washington in the
spring of the year 2000. The event will be produced by veteran march
organizer Robin Tyler who brought the organizations together to
formulate planning.
The Human Rights Campaign and the Universal Fellowship of
Metropolitan Community Churches are exploring dates in spring 2000
for the "Millennium March on Washington for Equal Rights," the heads
of both organizations said today. Several prominent organizations
have signed on as endorsers, including the National Black Gay and
Lesbian Leadership Forum, the National Latino/a Lesbian and Gay
Organization, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the Gay and
Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, the National Youth Advocacy
Coalition, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, the
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and the Gay and Lesbian Victory
Fund. Representatives from these organizations and others will be
sought to participate on an organizing committee which will help
facilitate the organization and presentation of the event.
"This march will set a new tone for a new century," said Elizabeth '
Birch, executive director of the Human Rights Campaign. "Full
equality under the law will be our achievement in the new
millennium."
WASHINGTON -
Washington, DC: The Democratic National Committee's bodies
governing the delegate selection rules for the 2000 National
Democratic Convention - the DNC Rules & Bylaws Committee & DNC
Executive Committee - voted unanimously in a meeting this
weekend to include the first-ever language requiring state parties to
specifically include Gay & Lesbian representation as part of the
delegate selection process for the 2000 Convention.
"Gay and Lesbian Democrats and our community have taken a
significant step forward," said Jean O'Leary of California, Chair of the
DNC Gay & Lesbian American Caucus and member of the DNC Executive
Committee, the governing body of the DNC. "These new rules will
likely increase the number of openly Gay and Lesbian delegates to
the 2000 Convention and mark the first time that a major National
Party organization has included Gays and Lesbians as a priority for
selecting delegates to a National Party Convention."
"These new rules reflect what we have done for the Democratic
Party and this Administration over the years as well as how critical
our community's support will be for a Democratic Presidential victory
in 2000," said Jeff Soref, Vice Chair of the DNC Gay & Lesbian
American Caucus and At-Large DNC Member from New York.
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-17-
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
STONE BUTCH BLUES:
A NOVEL BY LESLIE FEINBERG
SACTO YOUTH LOBBY DAY DRAWS
HUNDREDS OF QUEER KIDS
by Marghe Covino
A Review by M'Lynn Hartwell
Some 300 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youth from all
over California came to the State Capitol on a mission Wednesday,
January 21. In one day, they met with their state representatives,
presented a list of demands, held a rally on the Capitol steps, and
attended training on advocacy and building networks.
Laurie McBride, executive director of LIFE Lobby, said, "LIFE Lobby
is proud to host Youth Lobby Day, a forum for California's gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered youth and their allies. It's a day for our
youth to challenge their legislators; take seriously their need for
legislation to protect them in their schools, and stand up for their right
to an education without discrimination and harassment. Over 300 youth
took part in their day - young, vibrant, articulate, and proud. They
deserve the full protection of law as equal and valued citizens of this
great state."
Indeed, the group was very aware that a bill mandating protections
for them in schools, which Assembly Speaker Pro Tern Sheila Kuehl, DSanta Monica, authored last session, failed in the legislature.
Ken Locke, a participant from Sacramento, said, "This is an
important opportunity to meet our legislators in person, to give them a
chance to see us as human beings, rather than as political abstractions.
Anti-gay prejudice and discrimination has made adolescence a nightmare
for many of my friends. No one should have to fear being attacked or
killed because certain individuals have not learned to treat their fellow
human being with respect. To me, today is about countering negativity
and making our presence known."
As the young people recounted their personal stories of violence and
discrimination, of hate speech and ostracism, of going to school day after
day feeling unsafe and unprotected, they also took note of their peers
who committed suicide, unable to face the cruelty and fear any longer.
Tom Beddingfield, 19, of San Jose, told of his boyfriend, Brandon.
"We both came out in our junior year of high school," Beddingfield said.
"We both had to deal with physical and verbal harassment from
everyone."
"Brandon killed himself on March 9, 1996. He was 16. A month later
I became an activist for gay and lesbian youth. I do it so that what
happened to my boyfriend might not happen to someone else."
Afact sheet passed out to legislators and Capitol staff listed needs
and demands, including comprehensive policies banning harassment,
violence, and intimidation against students on the basis of actual or
perceived sexual orientation; funding for training teachers and school
staff in crisis intervention, conflict resolution, harassment and violence
prevention, and sensitivity training on GLBT issues; funding for statesupported social research on violence and harassment in California's
schools; and the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity in
all non-discrimination policies of the California Education Code.
As their airplanes and buses left Sacramento, participants took with
them important new skills and an even stronger commitment to seeing
that policies are put into place that protect their rights, and the rights
of those who come after them, to learn in a safe and supportive
environment.
The first time I read Stone Butch Blues, I cried with compassion
and shame at my own gender misconceptions. It was then, that I
realized that the transgendered community was in many ways a
kindred spirit to the Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual community, and that
their struggle, was our struggle for basic human rights and the dignity
of being.
Stone Butch Blues is Leslie Feinberg's autobiographical, and
generally torturous tale of confused sexual identity-feeling male in
a female body. Feinberg writes about the experience of trying to live
honestly with who you are, rather than within the narrow societal
constraints ascribed to the sex indicated on your birth certificate.
This is trickier than you might think. Leslie weaves her way through
her search for "the right place," ands/he does it with both philosophy
and the brutal honesty. The fact that this book was depressing, and
painful to read at times, only reflects the reality of the world s/he
had to face.
Stone Butch Blues is also a historical first-hand accounting filed
with tales of Stonewall-period police abuse, and love gone wrong. The
book is alive with honesty and gentleness. Feinberg's alter ego, Jess
Goldberg, wants only to love freely and be loved and live as who s/he
is. Her touching, and sometimes amusing attempts to do so, hold
together the narrative of her first twenty-some years, in Buffalo, and
New York City. The story of what Jess does not have, and what is taken
from her, is heartbreaking. Nevertheless, Feinberg is always there to
hold our broken hearts together and make them whole with moments
of love and wonder at the beauty of the world-from Jess' touching
date with a woman who believes Jess, is a man, to a scene on a
Manhattan subway platform wheres/he hears Mozart played for the
first time, by street musicians. Interwoven within the story of Jess'
coming of age sexually, runs the story of her awakening to the world
of blue collar labor relations and union activism.
I highly recommend this book!
Wxcorpted and wpdoted from Ibe Rap 4wa DepocteqJ
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VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 2 • MAY/JUNE 1998
Property of the Center
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JOURNEY IN LIGHT MINISTRIES, INC.
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There is a verse in the Bible in the book of I John chapter 4 and
verse 18 that says "There is no fear in Love; but p_erfect Love casts out
fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not
perfected in Love." I would Like to suggest that as we examine the
"coming out" issue, we consider the possibility that the reason we
are unable to do so is from a basic, gut fear. Are we afraid of what
might happen out in our society or are we really afraid of having to
face and accept ourselves as God made us?"
Is the agony and torture we experience there because we carry
inside ourselves the knowledge that we are GLTB and are unable to
come to terms with it? We will never find the attitudes of society
changing towards us as GLTB's until we can at Least come to terms
with our attitudes about ourselves. I admit that I occasionally find a
homophobic attitude still inside my mind and I have to deal with it
when it pops up ( or get help dealing with it!). The same God that
said that nothing can separate us from that God's love (Romans 8:3539) also said that we are to love the "Lord your God with all your
heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all
your mind; and your neighbor as yourself."
FRIENDS NORTH, INC.,
May I offer to you the thought that fundamentalists, right-wing
straight people, or any others who are "hateful" in their attitudes and
Language to us (and, incidentally to anyone else who does not agree
with them), may be suffering from an inability to love themselves in
a wholesome way. If these groups of Scriptures say anything to us
even symbolically, they point to the possibility that without a proper
self-love, it is impossible to love either the human or the divine
appropriately. Our inability to love ourselves, then, may cause us to
constantly stand outside the welcoming love that awaits us in
different segments of society, and within the fellowship of some
churches. Bottom line: Learn to love yourself for the fabulous person
you are and are meant to be!
Journey In Light Ministries, Inc. is a welcoming and affirming
Christian fellowship that meets the first and third Sundays of the
month in the basement community room of the Suttons Bay Library
at 10:30 a.m. (side entrance). Everyone is welcome! For more
information you may call 271-2529 or write to
Rev. Linda l. Wilson
P.O. Box 188
Suttons Bay, MI 49682.
P.O. Box 562,
TRAVERSE CITY, MI
49685-0562
YES, I want to be a supporting member of the Friends North Organization
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Address _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
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HAIR FORCE ONE
B
801 West Front Street
Traverse City, MI 49684
arker Creek Nurse1'y
LANDSCAPING AND GARDEN CENTER •
For Appointment Call
941-8255
Gordon Coy-Terry Bertrand
(616) 267-5972
Mark Lizenby
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
1'-'J•u&:I
-19-
7048 M-72 N.W.
Williamsburg, Ml 49690
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE Z • MAY/JUNE 1998
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STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES
LOCAL SPIRITUAL:
Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) ............. 800-347-HATE
Michigan Wellness Networks ........... . ... . . . ...... 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline ...... . .. . ........ 800-347-TEEN
Rev. Geraldine Colvin
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City ..... . ..... 616-938-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ... . ..... 616-223-7999
Rev. Linda L. Wilson, Journey In Light Ministries ......... 616-271-2529
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Petoskey ...... . .. 616-347-8916
P.O. Box 873 Petoskey, Ml 49770
STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL I POLITICAL / MEDIA
The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 ......... 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 50729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . . .... . ....... 616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 .... .. ......... 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . .... . ...... . .. . .... . .... . .... 810-398-7105
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations{lndex.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 ...... . ..... . ... . 517-332-3200
e-mail ... ... . . . . .. . ..... . . . . . ........... . lahr@macatawa.org
Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... . .......... 517-371-5257
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit 48219 ... . .... . .. . . 313-537-3323
. .. .. ... ... . .. . .. .... . . .. . . . . ............ Fax: 313-537-3379
email ...... . .. . . . .. . . .. . ... . . ............ . . .trijeffm@aol.com
Between The Lines (newspaper/monthly) . .... .. . ...... . 810-615-7003
33528 Eight Mile, Ste. 185A3, Livonia, Ml 48152 ... FAX 810-615-7018
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
The Third Coast (magazine/monthly)
POB 7296, Grand Rapids, Ml 49510 .. ..... ......... 616-248-9967
Michigan Pride, Inc. (Statewide Pride March organization)
P.O. Box 16191, Lansing, Ml 48901 ...... .. .... . .... 517-371-8466
. . .. . . .. . ...... . .... . . . ... .. . .... . . . pride@michiganpride.org
NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
1012 14th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .... 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 . . ........... 212-807-1700
.. . .. . .. . .............. . . . . .. . .. ... .. . . .. Fax: 212-807-1806
email . . . . ... . .................. . ........ . . glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ... . ... .. ... . .. . . 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . .. .... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund ....... 212-809-8585 x 205
120 Wall St., NY, NY 10005 ................... Fax: 212-890-0055
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 .. . ........ 415-621-0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 . . ... . . 202-628-4160
. .. .. . ... . ............. . ................. Fax: 202-347-5323
e-mail . ... . ............. .. ........ .. ... . ... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
101214th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-842-7679
GLSEN, Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network ..... . .. 212-727-0135
121 West 27 Street Suite 804, NY, NY 10001 .... Fax: 212-727-0-254
LOCAL COUNSELING:
Third Level Crisis Intervention, . . ............ . ..... . .. 616-922-4800
1022 E. Front St., TC, Ml 49686 ................ and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ....... ... ..... . .... . ..... 616-941-1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD ........... .. .... . ........... 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) ........... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW . . ........ . ... . .... . .... .. .... 616-947-0511
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHt ........... . .. . ...... 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD .. . ....... .. . .. ........ . .. 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) . .. .... . . ..... . 616-439-0656
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) ............ . ..... . ... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center ....... . . 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ...... . ....... . ....... . 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW .. . ... . .. . ....... . .. .. .. 906-635-9263
Lois Martindale, Ph.D., Benzonia ...... . .. .. .... . .. ... 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City .......... 929-1315 or 800-686-07 49
LOCAL SERVICE I SOCIAL I POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) .... . ..... . .. . ........ 616-946-1804
Common Voices - F/N Rap Group ... . .. . .. . .. . ....... Ed - 947-4697
.. . ..... . ....... .. ................... . ..... Tom - 275-6127
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support GroupCall Third Level for location & time . . . . 616-922-4800 or 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nite Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. ..... . . 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC . . . . John 616-922-07 46
.... .. .................. . ......... . ....... jdevans@gtii.com
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hilda 616-938-1294
P-FLAG, Traverse City, POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 . Cindy 616-271 -5045
GLSEN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Education Network)
PO Box 9, Traverse, Ml 49685 . .............. . ..... 616-943-5050
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill ..... . . 616-938-1333
LOCAL HIV/ AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks, GTA, Inc., ............... 616-947-1110
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 ... .. .... . . 1-800-494-1160
Business Office ................................. 616-933-0279
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks - HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group .......... 616-947-1110
Thomas Judd Care Center, 1211 W Front St., Traverse City,
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist . . .. . ..... 616-935-8140
David Rushlow, ACSW Social Worker ......... . ..... 616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) ............ 1-800-248-6777
Community Health Clinic ........................... . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
Northern Michigan Planned Parenthood .. . ........... . . 616-929-1844
(anonymous counseling & testing)
Grand Traverse County Health Department ............. 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Emmet County Health Department (Petoskey) ... . ....... 616-347-6014
Also call the District Health Department in your area .
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