extracted text

Ma

2000

WENDE ALLYN

8r. WANDA D.

HIGHUGHT SPRING RETREAT
Where are all the lesbians? At the Herland Spring
Retreat, of course. Join Herland this May 19-20-21 at
Oklahoma's beautiful Roman Nose State Park for a weekend of fabulous entertainment, workshops and recreation in
a women-identified and supportive atmosphere.
WORKSHOPS
A variety of workshops will be offered on Saturday
including financial planning and "Two Spirits." "Two Spirits"
refers to a Native American who has the spirit and under. standing of both male and female and most often refers to a
gay man or lesbian. The Two Spirit workshop is open to all
retreat participants. Most folks think "Financial Planning" is
what you do the year just before you retire. WRONG financial planning needs to be part ofevery year's plans. The
workshop will cover 9 pitfalls and offer suggestions on how
to avoid them. Lack ofknowledge is the I st pitfall - what you
don't know can hurt you.
OPEN-MIC
There will be an open-mic Saturday at 4:00 p.m. This is
a popular event including old-time favorites along with newcomers who share their talents. It's a great place to sing that
song you've always wanted to sing or read your poetry in a
supportive, very much appreciative, environment.
CONCERT
Wende Allyn and WandaD. perform Saturday at 7:00
p.m. A well-known performer in Oklahoma City, Wende has
opened for national touring acts like Janis Ian, Ray Wylie
Hubbard, Guy Clark, Sara Hickman, Betty Elders, Cheryl
Wheeler and Meredith Louise Miller. Known for her
raucous Tex-Mex blues style, Wanda D. is a member of the
new band, Iris, and a member ofthe popular group, Circle of
Friends. Both musicians have selections on DustBowl
· Lullaby, the Herland CD.
RECREATION
The rolling canyons of Roman Nose State Park offer
ample recreation opportunities including hiking, mountain
biking, horseback riding, golfing, softball and volleyball. And,
for cheese heads, don't miss a tour at the Watonga Cheese
Factory.
Volume 18 Number 05

REGISTRATIONIMEALSILODGING!Etc.
Upon registration you will receive the weekend's schedule and directions to Roman Nose State Park. Registration
includes all retreat activities, Friday supper, Saturday brunch,
Sunday breakfast, and bunk space in a cabin. You may also
bring your own tent if you choose. There will be a pot-luck
Saturday evening at 5:30 p.m. All guests are asked to bring
a meal contribution.
Pre-registration for the weekend is on a sliding-scale.
On-site weekend registration is $65. (See inside for the preregistration form and suggested registration amounts.) Deadline for pre-registration is May 14. Saturday-only registration
is $25 which includes Saturday meals and activities, and the
concert. Concert-only tickets are $10 at the door.
Don't miss the Spring Herland Retreat and this opportunity to see old friends, make new friends, have fun, fun, fun,
and enjoy some of the best music Oklahoma has to offer.
If you have questions, call Jeri 755-4916 or e-mail
0
Herland@mailroom.com.

Her/and Activities for May
Saturday, May 6: 7:00 PM - Two-Spirits
Group for Native American lesbians and
friends, Her/and Sister Ruourcu, 2312
N.W. 39, OKC
Sunday, May 7: 9:00 AM - Bike Ride.
Meet at The Bruce Gray Center of Fl'O'ICi.s Tuttle Vo-Tech on
ioufh east corner of Portland 01d NW 150th. U.se #CDnd
entry east of Portl01d off 150th - in the ~near the flag
pole. After the ride, we gather for brunch at a raturont of
our choice.

Sunday, May 14: 4:30 PM - Board Muting ond
q,ten House, Her/and Sister /lesouf't:U, 2312
N. W. 39, OKC. "you've ever wondered what goes on ate
Hertand board meeting, who these women are and how they
manage to come up with some of this stuff, this is the meeting for
you. ·Come get an introduction to the current board members and
see how you could join this ilustrlous group.

Friday, May 19: 5:00PM - Retreat
Check-In begins at Roman Nose State Park

Herland Sister Resources

2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112

ST. SYBIL
Dear St. Sybil,
I had such an unpleasant experience the other day. I was
at the store, minding my own business, when my attention
became riveted upon a horrid looking man in his late twenties
or early thirties. The dingy, grungy, used-to-be-white t-shirt
that covered his beer belly was entirely without decoration,
other than this three word message:

SHUT
UP
BITCH.
Seeing it was like a kick in the stomach. I looked around
and found his family: a woman positively reeking of no-selfesteem, and two pasty-faced cowed little children.
I wanted to do or say something, but I didn't know what.
·It would have been a pleasure to confront him, maybe say
something gently reproving like "Gee, that shirt makes you
look to be as mean as you are stupid and ugly, you simple foul
piece of buffalo dung," but I figured ifl did, his wife and his
kids would just pay forit later. Then I thought ofjoshing with
him, "Gee, thanks - I'm a ·bitch, and I was just wondering
what to do today, and now I know: I guess I'll shut up." Or
just ''Hey ! Good looking shirt, Buddy-boy'', and let him think
about it. Of course he didn't look capable of an independent
thought, so that wouldn't have worked either.
Some people are waiting impatiently for the Rapture.
What I wish we could have - soon - would be something
we could call the Capture, where angels would come down
and point to people like this guy and say "Poot: that's all for
you", and their angelic digit would just pulverize the creeps.
Wouldn't that be great?
But of course that's not happening, so until then, do you
have some advice for me on how to handle something like this
if or when I see it again?
Thanks very much,
Yours,
Stella N. Raged
Dear Stella,
Yes you are, and it isn't good for you, not for your health
or for your soul; so take a deep breath and relax. You already
knew there was evil and stupidity in the world. In fact that's
a line you could have used: ''Hey buddy, thanks. I always
knew there were stupid evil people in the world, nice of you
to let us know you are one ofthem." BUT you are right, you
can't do that, any reaction you generate in him will be dealt
upon his family, not upon you.
Now my good friends and fellow saints Jean Paul &
Albert are inclined to think that you should do what's right
for you at the time; just speak your mind to this fellow, and
PaJZe 2 Her/and Voice Mav. 2000

if his anger is vented on his family on account of your words,
that is just one assault closer to his wife finding the courage
or desperation to leave him. Still, I share your unwillingness
to antagonize someone whom you know will just take it out on
others.
So what can you do, Stella? Stellilaaa... Like so much
else, you have to deal with the underlying disease, not its
manifestation. You go to work and fight sexist oppression
however you best can-join NOW and The Feminist Majority
and other national and local feminist organizations; participate and send them money; subscribe to and read Ms and Off
Our Backs and other feminist journals; volunteer at your local
battered women's shelter; get on the shelter board; write
letters to the editor; run for school board; fight for gender
equity in sports in school - make them enforce Title IX;
support women's sports; don't use sexist language yourselt:
no calling anyone "bitch" or "sonnavabitch", and don't let
anyone in your acquaintance get away with using "pussy" for
weak, or "balls" for strong.
And that's all. Do those things, and the next time you see
an unholy excuse for a man like that, you can just take a deep
breath and know that his days, and those of his kind, are
numbered. Ignore him, smile at his wife, wink at the kids, and
go on in peace.
Love,
Sybil

See Her/and on the web!

www.herlandsisters.org
Herland Board of Directors:
JB

Laura Choate
Joanna Fife, Secretary
DTH
Ginger McGovern, Treasurer
Pat Reaves, Co-Chair
Jerri Schaben
Denise Smith
Judy Walden
The Voice ls published by: Hertand Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community dscourse.
Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not necessan1y
those of Hertand Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and
letters to the edtor are welcomed and must be signed by the
writer with ful name and address. Upon request, letters or
articles may be printed under a pseudonym or anonymously.
Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request although a
donation is requested to meet publication and distribution
costs.

SPEAKERS FOR GAY AND

~~~[K\ Yr@lW~

LESBIAN ISSUES
Speakers for Gay and Lesbian Issues is a new service
for the central Oklahoma area providing speakers on the
experience of being gay or lesbian. Speakers from the
group are gay men, lesbians, parents of gays and lesbians,
or heterosexuals who support the efforts of gays and
lesbians to be accepted .by the community at large.
The speakers are members of such groups as the
Cimarron Alliance Group, Oklahoma Gay and Lesbian
Political Caucus, Parents Family and Friends of Lesbians
and Gays (PFLAG), EQUAL! at Lucent Technologies,
Church ofthe Open Arms, and the Oklahoma Peace House.
They are experienced in a wide range of public speaking
situations and are knowledgeable on a variety of topics
pertaining to the experience of being a member of a sexual

~~[b~[fl)[Q)~~~ fr@~
~~U[Q)~ ~@@@U
Her/and Picnic - Saturday, June 24
OKC Pride Parade - Sunday, June 25
Pride 2000 t-shirts will be available at
the Her/and Retreat

minority.
To arrange a speaker for your neighborhood association, political club, employee group, civic league, chamber of
commerce, church, or discussion group contact Nathaniel
Batchelder at 524-5577 or Paul Thompson at 524-2131.

Individual, couples or family counseling. Accessible rates. Call fora Wednesday evening appointment. Jo L Soske, Phd, LPC, CADC 879-2226

------------------------------------------HERL.AND SPRING RrneAT
MAY

19 -- 21,

ROMAN

NosE

Please choose the registration amount most appropriate
for you. On-site registration will be $65. Deadline for preregistration is May 14 and registration is non-refundable after
May 17.

STATE PARK

Single Person's
Annual Income

suggested
Pre-registration
per person

Household Annual
Income

under $6,500
$6,500 • $13,250

$15
$25

under $13,300
$13,300. $18,000

$13,250. $19,500

$35

$18,000. $20,000

$19,500 • $30,000

$45

$26,000 • $50,000

over $30,000

$60

over $50,000

Registration fee enclosed (payable to Herland): _ $15 _$25 _$35 _$45 _$60
_ Saturday only Registration $25
Address:._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _State__
. _Zip_ _ __
__I need a scholarship to attend.
__ I'm enclosing and additional $_ _ to help provide scholarships.
__ I'm bringing __ children. (girls of all ages and boys under 10 are welcome)
Return registration to: Herland Sister Resources, 2312 N.W. 39, Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Her/and Voice May, 2000

~

3

Herl and Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

NonProfit Org .
U.S. Postage

PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861

Address Service Requested

Supportour Supporters
REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
CT.JNICALPSYOIOLOGY

Mechanical Technologies Corp.
A leader in Air-conditioning and Heating Service
(405)948.;.0707 Fax (405)942-6598

\"(\~st1 c _
t:o12est ~RES

· tine&-" o• tc:anclla •impOltl

....,,. ....,...

321-2148
Individual - Couples

P.O. Box 5119

Nonnan, Okla. 73070

Family Therapy, Retreats

THE LAW OFFICE OF SANDY INGRAHAM
@TURTLE CREEK

NANcY NESSER, J.D.
ASSOCIATE

•Cl'9dak " ...,_ • Jc'IOclrl
• unique II; URllSlla1 . . .

N8IMha Rb {4415) 447-S ll l

RouTE 2. Box 389-B
Mcl..oUD, OKLAHoMA 748!11

TElDHoNE (.OS) 984-2072
FAX (406) 964-2058

lllllJil-~



Ma

2000

WENDE ALLYN

8r. WANDA D.

HIGHUGHT SPRING RETREAT
Where are all the lesbians? At the Herland Spring
Retreat, of course. Join Herland this May 19-20-21 at
Oklahoma's beautiful Roman Nose State Park for a weekend of fabulous entertainment, workshops and recreation in
a women-identified and supportive atmosphere.
WORKSHOPS
A variety of workshops will be offered on Saturday
including financial planning and "Two Spirits." "Two Spirits"
refers to a Native American who has the spirit and under. standing of both male and female and most often refers to a
gay man or lesbian. The Two Spirit workshop is open to all
retreat participants. Most folks think "Financial Planning" is
what you do the year just before you retire. WRONG financial planning needs to be part ofevery year's plans. The
workshop will cover 9 pitfalls and offer suggestions on how
to avoid them. Lack ofknowledge is the I st pitfall - what you
don't know can hurt you.
OPEN-MIC
There will be an open-mic Saturday at 4:00 p.m. This is
a popular event including old-time favorites along with newcomers who share their talents. It's a great place to sing that
song you've always wanted to sing or read your poetry in a
supportive, very much appreciative, environment.
CONCERT
Wende Allyn and WandaD. perform Saturday at 7:00
p.m. A well-known performer in Oklahoma City, Wende has
opened for national touring acts like Janis Ian, Ray Wylie
Hubbard, Guy Clark, Sara Hickman, Betty Elders, Cheryl
Wheeler and Meredith Louise Miller. Known for her
raucous Tex-Mex blues style, Wanda D. is a member of the
new band, Iris, and a member ofthe popular group, Circle of
Friends. Both musicians have selections on DustBowl
· Lullaby, the Herland CD.
RECREATION
The rolling canyons of Roman Nose State Park offer
ample recreation opportunities including hiking, mountain
biking, horseback riding, golfing, softball and volleyball. And,
for cheese heads, don't miss a tour at the Watonga Cheese
Factory.
Volume 18 Number 05

REGISTRATIONIMEALSILODGING!Etc.
Upon registration you will receive the weekend's schedule and directions to Roman Nose State Park. Registration
includes all retreat activities, Friday supper, Saturday brunch,
Sunday breakfast, and bunk space in a cabin. You may also
bring your own tent if you choose. There will be a pot-luck
Saturday evening at 5:30 p.m. All guests are asked to bring
a meal contribution.
Pre-registration for the weekend is on a sliding-scale.
On-site weekend registration is $65. (See inside for the preregistration form and suggested registration amounts.) Deadline for pre-registration is May 14. Saturday-only registration
is $25 which includes Saturday meals and activities, and the
concert. Concert-only tickets are $10 at the door.
Don't miss the Spring Herland Retreat and this opportunity to see old friends, make new friends, have fun, fun, fun,
and enjoy some of the best music Oklahoma has to offer.
If you have questions, call Jeri 755-4916 or e-mail
0
Herland@mailroom.com.

Her/and Activities for May
Saturday, May 6: 7:00 PM - Two-Spirits
Group for Native American lesbians and
friends, Her/and Sister Ruourcu, 2312
N.W. 39, OKC
Sunday, May 7: 9:00 AM - Bike Ride.
Meet at The Bruce Gray Center of Fl'O'ICi.s Tuttle Vo-Tech on
ioufh east corner of Portland 01d NW 150th. U.se #CDnd
entry east of Portl01d off 150th - in the ~near the flag
pole. After the ride, we gather for brunch at a raturont of
our choice.

Sunday, May 14: 4:30 PM - Board Muting ond
q,ten House, Her/and Sister /lesouf't:U, 2312
N. W. 39, OKC. "you've ever wondered what goes on ate
Hertand board meeting, who these women are and how they
manage to come up with some of this stuff, this is the meeting for
you. ·Come get an introduction to the current board members and
see how you could join this ilustrlous group.

Friday, May 19: 5:00PM - Retreat
Check-In begins at Roman Nose State Park

Herland Sister Resources

2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112

ST. SYBIL
Dear St. Sybil,
I had such an unpleasant experience the other day. I was
at the store, minding my own business, when my attention
became riveted upon a horrid looking man in his late twenties
or early thirties. The dingy, grungy, used-to-be-white t-shirt
that covered his beer belly was entirely without decoration,
other than this three word message:

SHUT
UP
BITCH.
Seeing it was like a kick in the stomach. I looked around
and found his family: a woman positively reeking of no-selfesteem, and two pasty-faced cowed little children.
I wanted to do or say something, but I didn't know what.
·It would have been a pleasure to confront him, maybe say
something gently reproving like "Gee, that shirt makes you
look to be as mean as you are stupid and ugly, you simple foul
piece of buffalo dung," but I figured ifl did, his wife and his
kids would just pay forit later. Then I thought ofjoshing with
him, "Gee, thanks - I'm a ·bitch, and I was just wondering
what to do today, and now I know: I guess I'll shut up." Or
just ''Hey ! Good looking shirt, Buddy-boy'', and let him think
about it. Of course he didn't look capable of an independent
thought, so that wouldn't have worked either.
Some people are waiting impatiently for the Rapture.
What I wish we could have - soon - would be something
we could call the Capture, where angels would come down
and point to people like this guy and say "Poot: that's all for
you", and their angelic digit would just pulverize the creeps.
Wouldn't that be great?
But of course that's not happening, so until then, do you
have some advice for me on how to handle something like this
if or when I see it again?
Thanks very much,
Yours,
Stella N. Raged
Dear Stella,
Yes you are, and it isn't good for you, not for your health
or for your soul; so take a deep breath and relax. You already
knew there was evil and stupidity in the world. In fact that's
a line you could have used: ''Hey buddy, thanks. I always
knew there were stupid evil people in the world, nice of you
to let us know you are one ofthem." BUT you are right, you
can't do that, any reaction you generate in him will be dealt
upon his family, not upon you.
Now my good friends and fellow saints Jean Paul &
Albert are inclined to think that you should do what's right
for you at the time; just speak your mind to this fellow, and
PaJZe 2 Her/and Voice Mav. 2000

if his anger is vented on his family on account of your words,
that is just one assault closer to his wife finding the courage
or desperation to leave him. Still, I share your unwillingness
to antagonize someone whom you know will just take it out on
others.
So what can you do, Stella? Stellilaaa... Like so much
else, you have to deal with the underlying disease, not its
manifestation. You go to work and fight sexist oppression
however you best can-join NOW and The Feminist Majority
and other national and local feminist organizations; participate and send them money; subscribe to and read Ms and Off
Our Backs and other feminist journals; volunteer at your local
battered women's shelter; get on the shelter board; write
letters to the editor; run for school board; fight for gender
equity in sports in school - make them enforce Title IX;
support women's sports; don't use sexist language yourselt:
no calling anyone "bitch" or "sonnavabitch", and don't let
anyone in your acquaintance get away with using "pussy" for
weak, or "balls" for strong.
And that's all. Do those things, and the next time you see
an unholy excuse for a man like that, you can just take a deep
breath and know that his days, and those of his kind, are
numbered. Ignore him, smile at his wife, wink at the kids, and
go on in peace.
Love,
Sybil

See Her/and on the web!

www.herlandsisters.org
Herland Board of Directors:
JB

Laura Choate
Joanna Fife, Secretary
DTH
Ginger McGovern, Treasurer
Pat Reaves, Co-Chair
Jerri Schaben
Denise Smith
Judy Walden
The Voice ls published by: Hertand Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community dscourse.
Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not necessan1y
those of Hertand Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and
letters to the edtor are welcomed and must be signed by the
writer with ful name and address. Upon request, letters or
articles may be printed under a pseudonym or anonymously.
Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request although a
donation is requested to meet publication and distribution
costs.

SPEAKERS FOR GAY AND

~~~[K\ Yr@lW~

LESBIAN ISSUES
Speakers for Gay and Lesbian Issues is a new service
for the central Oklahoma area providing speakers on the
experience of being gay or lesbian. Speakers from the
group are gay men, lesbians, parents of gays and lesbians,
or heterosexuals who support the efforts of gays and
lesbians to be accepted .by the community at large.
The speakers are members of such groups as the
Cimarron Alliance Group, Oklahoma Gay and Lesbian
Political Caucus, Parents Family and Friends of Lesbians
and Gays (PFLAG), EQUAL! at Lucent Technologies,
Church ofthe Open Arms, and the Oklahoma Peace House.
They are experienced in a wide range of public speaking
situations and are knowledgeable on a variety of topics
pertaining to the experience of being a member of a sexual

~~[b~[fl)[Q)~~~ fr@~
~~U[Q)~ ~@@@U
Her/and Picnic - Saturday, June 24
OKC Pride Parade - Sunday, June 25
Pride 2000 t-shirts will be available at
the Her/and Retreat

minority.
To arrange a speaker for your neighborhood association, political club, employee group, civic league, chamber of
commerce, church, or discussion group contact Nathaniel
Batchelder at 524-5577 or Paul Thompson at 524-2131.

Individual, couples or family counseling. Accessible rates. Call fora Wednesday evening appointment. Jo L Soske, Phd, LPC, CADC 879-2226

------------------------------------------HERL.AND SPRING RrneAT
MAY

19 -- 21,

ROMAN

NosE

Please choose the registration amount most appropriate
for you. On-site registration will be $65. Deadline for preregistration is May 14 and registration is non-refundable after
May 17.

STATE PARK

Single Person's
Annual Income

suggested
Pre-registration
per person

Household Annual
Income

under $6,500
$6,500 • $13,250

$15
$25

under $13,300
$13,300. $18,000

$13,250. $19,500

$35

$18,000. $20,000

$19,500 • $30,000

$45

$26,000 • $50,000

over $30,000

$60

over $50,000

Registration fee enclosed (payable to Herland): _ $15 _$25 _$35 _$45 _$60
_ Saturday only Registration $25
Address:._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _State__
. _Zip_ _ __
__I need a scholarship to attend.
__ I'm enclosing and additional $_ _ to help provide scholarships.
__ I'm bringing __ children. (girls of all ages and boys under 10 are welcome)
Return registration to: Herland Sister Resources, 2312 N.W. 39, Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Her/and Voice May, 2000

~

3

Herl and Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

NonProfit Org .
U.S. Postage

PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861

Address Service Requested

Supportour Supporters
REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
CT.JNICALPSYOIOLOGY

Mechanical Technologies Corp.
A leader in Air-conditioning and Heating Service
(405)948.;.0707 Fax (405)942-6598

\"(\~st1 c _
t:o12est ~RES

· tine&-" o• tc:anclla •impOltl

....,,. ....,...

321-2148
Individual - Couples

P.O. Box 5119

Nonnan, Okla. 73070

Family Therapy, Retreats

THE LAW OFFICE OF SANDY INGRAHAM
@TURTLE CREEK

NANcY NESSER, J.D.
ASSOCIATE

•Cl'9dak " ...,_ • Jc'IOclrl
• unique II; URllSlla1 . . .

N8IMha Rb {4415) 447-S ll l

RouTE 2. Box 389-B
Mcl..oUD, OKLAHoMA 748!11

TElDHoNE (.OS) 984-2072
FAX (406) 964-2058

lllllJil-~