Sisters : v.4:no.7(1973:Jul.)
- Title
- Sisters : v.4:no.7(1973:Jul.)
- Description
- Sisters was "a magazine by and for gay women" published by the San Francisco chapter of the Daughters of Bilitis (DOB). It contained original art, poetry, articles, news, and photography and served as an alternative to DOB's main publication, The Ladder.
- Date Issued
- 1973-07
- Relation
- Sisters
- Rights
- Contact UCO Chambers Library's Digital Initiatives Working Group at diwg@uco.edu for the permission policy on the use, reproduction or distribution of this material.
- Creator
- Wilensky, Laura
- Contributor
- Daughters of Bilitis
- Date
- 2025-04-28T15:42:05Z
- Date Available
- 2025-04-28T15:42:05Z
- Subject
- Lesbian art
- Lesbian
- Type
- Periodical
- extracted text
-
f, , r, of the Ct:-,,t r
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE OF THE SAN FRANCISCO
CHAPTER OF THE DAUGHT_,ERS OF BILITIS
... a women's organization to aid the Lesbian in discovering her place in society and to educate society to understand and accept her, without prejudice, and ...
l. To encourage and. support the Lesbian in her search
for her social, economic, personal, interpersonal and
vocational identity ,witpin society by maintaining and
building a library on the themes of homosexuality and
on women; by p:foviding social functions where she can
communicate with others and expand her social world '
outside the bar scene; and by providing ·a n organized .
.structure through which she can work to change society's
limitations upon her lifestyles; by providing a forum for
the inte rchange of ideas and constructive solutions to
'. ~omen's problems.
j
.,_
I
l.).
..
,,
'
•
2. T o educate the public' to accept a·nd understand the
Lesqian as an individual.; thereby leading to the breakdown' of taboos, 'p:rejudfces, and limitations ·on her lifestyle by sponsoring pulflic <l~sc1;1ssions; bJ: providing individuals as . spea-kers and participants •in various forums
designed to ed,u cfiie the public; by disse.minating educa• ~ional and rational lite:¢ture· pn .the Lesbian., •-
Volume IV, Number 7
OFFICERS
SAN FRANCISCO DOB
President . . . . . . .
Vice-President . . . .
Secretary . . . . . . .
Assistant Secretary • .
Treasurer . . • . . . .
*
*
Sharon Crase
Marley Sooklaris
Charleen Pyron
Liane Esstelle
Allison Meader
*
T~
3.
e'ncourage, support_and participate in responsible
research dealing \\'.ith. lioro'osex~a-lity.
-•
.
4. To investigate the penal code and to promote changes,
in order to provid~ equitable -handling of cases involving
homosexuals, with due process of law and without prejudice
TO SAY AND BELIEVE THAT GAY IS GOOD.
This issue of SIST3RS is dedicated to
Jodi and Barb for arranging the first
Gay Awards Banquet in our history ....
*
*
*
THE HETEROSEXUAL
CONTENTS - JULY 1973
The Heterosexual . . . . . . • . . . 3
For R . . . . . . . . . • • • • • • 5
An Opening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
The Bisexual Blues . . . . . . . . . 7
The Doormat . . . . . . • • • • • • 9
The Gay Community Awards Banquet . . 13
Calendar. . . . . . . . • e
14
A Dedication to Your Closet, Part III
Part III . . . . . . . . . • . • 18
Alone . . . . . . . • • • • • • • • 22
Ulan-Hating Reviewed . . . . . . . . 23
Women's Counseling . . . . . . . . . 27
Information . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
I
•
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t
The heterosexual usually comes from a home
in which there is a dominant father and a passive mother, which is a very oppressive and at
times sadistic environment. The heterosexual
child soon learns that there are games played
and that the rules are very subtle. The child
is pushed toward learning and taking part in
these games.
The heterosexual learns to manipulate very
early in childhood. For instance, the heterosexual boy learns to use aggressive behavior
to get his way, and he also starts very early
to learn other strategies of manipulation. It
is quite common for the father to take the
young heterosexual aside and educate him on
how to treat women. For instance, he teaches
him never to let women dominate him and to
keep them under control. He also lectures him
on the evils of women.
The mother also educates her daughter on the
art of manipulation. The heterosexual mother
teaches her daughter how to make the husband
feel superior and dominant. The subtle message
here is, of course, that the male is truly not
superior, just an overgrown baby with a big
ego to nurse. However, the female's education
is more complicated and puzzling. Her intelligence is tested according to how dumb and
helpless she can appear to the male. The male
on the other hand is denied his sensitivity
and is not allowed to feel weak.
It is quite clear that heterosexuals--female
and male--are not brought up to be friends,
but rather they grow up with hidden feelings
of mistrust and hostility toward each other.
Mutual consent is not necessary to perform
the heterosexual act. According to their laws
the husband i n free to take his wife against
her will. Als o they have a high incidence of
other types o~ rape.
Another outstanding peculiarity of the male
heterosexual is that he often bases his selfworth on his virility. The medical and psychiatric files are filled with case histories of
heterosexual males becoming temporarily or
permanently impotent due to the experience of
not being able to perform sexually. This usually occurs during the wedding night. The victims of this trauma often state that their inability to perform gave them a feeling of dying.
The ritual of matrimony is also a peculiarity
of heterosexuals. Until recently, and still to
a great degree among older heterosexuals, sexual activities outside of matrimony were
thought of as evil, sinful, and immoral. Young
heterosexuals suffered frustrations and feelings of guilt when they engaged in such acti- vities. However, these feelings of frustration
and guilt were thought to leave the heterosexuals after the ritual of matrimony was performed.
It is hard to know who is a heterosexual just
by simple observation. Even the stereotype heman may not be a heterosexual but a normal,
sensitive gay male. The female is perhaps a
little easier to observe on sight, since most
lesbians find it hard to feign helplessness.
But again, we cannot be sure. The helplesslooking female might just be a lesbian infiltrator.
Statistics show that heterosexuals are dangerous. Eighty-five percent of all sex offenses are committed by heterosexual males.*
Also, they are extremely dangerous to the gay
community, since they seem to find enjoyment
in a sport which they call "rolling queers."
Can the heterosexual be cured?
YES. However; this is a difficult task because most heterosexuals do not realize that
they are sick, and do not seek treatment.
*Kinsey Report.
-Zelima.
THE BISEXUAL BLUES
An Opening ..•
She sat, small and cowed,
the enormity of all around finally
hitting a real level - the reason
was all clear - a life plan began,
faltered, began again. Sudden truth
falling on sudden truth all spilling
into that noiseless, vacuous space
she occupied. All hers - all hers.
She watched a small ripple in the
rug and used it as a focal ... The
ripple became totally encompassing
and she knew it would do no good to
tackle the straightening of it now •.
an always small, unnoticed, silent
wetness found its way down that soft
waiting face. She knew, and now the
day was very quiet in her self-imposed cage; she noticed now that
even the bars refused to tarnish ...
and, there was a door ...
jSafier
•• • • •••• •••••
•• •••••••••
• •••••••
OCs-quoted quotes,
- "Behind every great woman there is
another woman""Are you a woman or a mouse?""Woman cannot live by bread alone"-Liane
Esstelle
I've got the bisexual blues ~bain, mama. It's
one of my secret vices, like keeping a spoon and a
box of Jello in my lower left desk drawer. It's
called three months without a lover, and I'm starting to make love to my breakfast.
What was wrong with the guy I played frisbee with
for an hour? Or the man who sat and made a daisy
headband for the small woman I was with?
Isn't it unfair to declare the whole male sex chauvinistic? Since the whole point of separatism is to
get women to the point where they can negotiate from
a place of equal strength, why not skip the revolution
and relate directly? Dial it yourself, you won't have
to pay off Gloria Steinem. Don't be so vague and futuristic.
Then I remember how it really was, playing (risbee
with that joker. I went to the park to write poetry.
The frisbee came along to get some fresn air. I
wound up throwing it with him because I couldn't think
of a polite way to tell him to fuck off. I didn't
want to make him angry. No, I didn't find an acceptable male. I covered up for my servility.
I remember how clearly defined my idea of the
revolutio~ is . . I want a separate physical space for
women, with a separate administration, defense, art,
religion, medicine, transportation--everything. I'm
trying to get thousands of years of slavery off my
back. Nothing less than a separate female society
will prove to me that the "myth" of male superiority
is a myth.
If I did find a man who would not call me a chick,
what would that prove? All the things that are
wrong with the system would still exist.
So I waste my time discovering men who are "exceptions," men who don't perpetuate the system, men who
are individual l y liberated. Of course I can fight my
oppression ind 1vidually. Somehow, it doesn't add up
'co." It adds up to a "yes, there is room for
this system."
Anyway, balling a liberated man is no way to treat
him. I'd rather make friends with him.
Come to think of it, where does this assumption
originate that after the whole mess is cleared away,
everyone will be bisexual1 lt isn't an assumption
I want to make. All I really want men to do is to get
off my back. Digging them is another project entirely.
The last fact, the one that really stuns me, is that
I would get up from screwing, and I would still be a
lesbian. I would take it as evidence that I still
hadn't liberated myself, and I would go back and
work twice as hard for my movement.
:.ii;:
J.n
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THE GAY COMMUNITY AWARDS BANQUET ....
May Jl, 1973 .. Glide Memorial Church ..
San Francisco. A banquet of recognition
honoring community service.
I've been asked for an honest,
"gut" reaction to the Gay Community
Awards Banquet. This is difficult because it is only one individual's reaction, so bear with me. My reaction is
three-fold. First and foremost, I must
applaud Jodi and Barbara (if you don't
know them, meet them) for their conceptualization of,coordination and untiring efforts toward making the first
recognition of our gay brothers and sisters dedicated endeavors in raising our
consciousness as well as society's
possible. To them in particular, and to
the many volunteers who did the endle ss
shit work, goes my individual, and, if
I may be bold, our joint appreciation
and thanks.
My second reaction is also positive•
The feeling of mutual love and respect
which flowed through the room, to participants who entertained us, and to
participants who were a part of the
communal witnessing of the activities,
was so real and honest and beautifully
open. (Even if at times a little negative because some of our sisters grew
impatient with our brothers lack of
poetry directed at lesbian love.) Regardless, we all knew who we were and
were proud to show it. As the evening
warmed, we knew we were each a part of
one another, irrevocably tied in a
growing awareness of the signifigance
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of being gay, and, undeniably, proud
of it.
My third reaction is negative. It
is the feeling that somehow all those
who didn't participate are less than
gay and ashamed to be associated with
those who know they are and are proud.
As I looked around the room, and saw so
many, conspicuously absent, with all the
love I felt for myself and those there
with me, I was saddened and very empty
for those who were absent.
Being gay is not only a statement
one makes, finally, after much struggle
with onesself, it is also a statement
and an oath to the world. Those who
were there that evening, who were honored, who were there to do honor, had
no less to loose (if we must consider
being oneself at the sake of society's
disfavor a loss) ... we gained so much.
We were glad to be there - for
those who were, it was good to see youfor those who were not, we missed your
presence.
• ••••••••••••
Lois Small
MCCa Freda Smith, Rev. Ralph Gordon &
Frank J. Howell
CRHa Phyllis Lyon, Dorr Jones & Chas.
H. Lewis
SIR, Charley Davis, Max Clements &
George Coffman
DOBa Sharon Crase, Del Martin & Diane
Smith
GAY COMMUNITY AWARD RECIPIENTS
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MAN-P...ATING REVIEWED
Man-hating has been referred to 1 by some lesbians of that genre as "an honorable and viable political act." The number of lesbian
feminists who take pride in fulfilling the
stereotype of the shit-stomping, mean, manhating dyke is growing. Cliquey social cadres
of lesbians whose common interest revolves
around hating men are increasing in number.
If a lesbian in the midst of these man-hating
Medusas should dare to say that she LIKES some
men, she is treated like a traitor. A woman
who works politically and socially with men,
even if they are faggot effeminists, is also
given this same treatment.
I, as a lesbian, can detect many valid reasons for women to hate men. It is they who
control our society, who made our sexist institutions, and it is they who raped us and
made us "queer." Men oppress women politically, economically, and socially. They are constantly encroaching upon our life-flow, and
our personhood. Often, they use the threat of
physical violence to control us. When we insist upon claiming our right to equal time in
conversation, we are called dominating bitches.
In a male supremacist society geared to satisfy male needs and male egos, sometimes I, as a
woman, feel like I don't even exist.
There are many logical reasons for hating
men, but the rationale for not hating men is
just as well-founded. Men, just like women,
are people. As people, ALL of us--regardless
of sex or gender-identification, have our bad
points. There is a tendency within the move,, ment to make woman the sacred cow, the divine
source from which all goodness, sweetness, and
light emanate; conversely, men have been total•• ly blackballec~--they are now the source of all
evil. In the statement "All men are sexist
Pigs," I see parallels to other stereotypical
pigeonholing, such as "All Jews have big noses,"
"Women's libbers are all just a bunch of manhating dykes," and "All homosexuals are mentally ill." Such non-differentiational thinking shows a lack of logic, and an excess of
reactionary emotionalism.
• At Jill Johnston's speech in San Francisco
recently, a lesbian was selling a newspaper
called "Dykes & Gorgons" for 50¢ a copy. When
I finally got a look at it, I was glad I hadn't
bought one, for it was filled with more sexist
hate rhetoric against men. (For the information of those unfamiliar with Greek mythology,
a gorgon is one of three sisters--Stheno,
Euryale and Medusa--with serpents for hair, so
terrifying that the sight of them turned the
beholder into stone.) Thusly do these menhating lesbians try to make themselves as vicious, "butch" and ugly as possible. These
man-hating Medusas are just the kind of women
I wish to call my "sisters"--that is, if I wish
to be turned into stone by looking at one of
them. They're just what we need to build an
army of lovers--more women filled with hate.
I cannot empathize at all with these menhating Medusas, nor can I talk with them or
communicate with them in any way. They are
nothing but a group of dour, embittered,
frigid, young old maids. One who is filled
with hate cannot love. All they produce is
negative energy which goes nowhere. They even
alienate their own sisters from themselves. I
have already seen too much hate of men spill
over onto other sisters at the West Coast Lesbian Conference to know how self-destructive
the "profession" of man-hating is. These gorgons may put the fear of God into men, but
they do likewise to many of their sisters. I
am not frightened--I am just totally repulsed.
But let us not become confused• there is another viable, political alternative, and this
is separatism. Man-hating lesbians are, of
course, separatists, but not all separatists
hate men as a group. As women, we have had to
rub elbows and contend with men for too long.
We have been separated from other women. To
exclude men as much as possible from one's
life can be an enriching and edifying experience. I do not profess to be a separatist,
but I have found that separating myself from
men has generated much positive energy at certain times in my life. Separatism is a useful
outgrowth of the women's movement, but it need
not necessarily stem from hating men.
The negative energy which comes from manhating accomplished nothing politically in
terms of real change. It is self-destructive,
especially in the political arena. It is foolhardy for the weaker oppressed group to confront a powerful oppressor and scream "I hate
you!" It is not politically wise to lay all
of your cards on the tables there is merit in
being cagey, scheming, and somewhat closety.
By making ourselves as ugly, vicious and
radical as possible, we remove ourselves from
any serious political consideration from the
establishment. It is significant that out of
the many Women's Liberation groups in this
c·ountry, the one that has accomplished the
most constructive political change is a conservative, middle-class organization--the
National Organization for Women. "Ms.n magazine, with a circulation of over 300,000, is
not exactly radical either. Militancy, coercion, and hate vibes will not win us friends
or sympathizers.
I like men, and I'm glad they are here. Men
don't have the power to hurt me emotionally as
women do--ma.ybe that's why they make such good
companions and friends. There are men that I
hate, but it is comforting to know that when I
find myself hating women, as I occasionally do,
that there are other outlets for my social proclivities. I firmly believe that one doesn't
have to hate men in order to love women.
I may be a 3tone lesbian, but I refuse to let
these man-hat i ng Medusas turn me into stone.
- Roberta Dill
·,
I
WOMEN'S COUNSELING SERVICE
The Women's Counseling Service is a
group of women therapists with training
in traditional counseling and clinical
psychology. As feminists we are seeking
to provide a non-oppressive therapeutic
service for women in which the emphasis
is on personal growth and self-expression.
Our purpose is to help each woman free
herself from a social environment which
has denied her
the freedom to
define herself according to her
own feelings
and live
in a way
that is
fulfilling
to her
as a
unique
and creative
individual.
We
are available for
individual
and group
services,
family and
couple counseling. Our
fees are ·based on a sliding
scale, with
five dollars being the minimum.
Americans for Sisterhood
Give the United way.
Aunt Samantha wants you:
TH IS IS OUP. FLAG 8£
OF
f'R,OUl:J OF
********
********
IT
For further information you may
call between 10 am and 9 pm.
vua..'{
.
tN
HONOUP, OF OU~
IN D£fiENDENC £:.
********
********
392-0400
...
********
INFORMATION
DAUGHTERS OF BILITIS
women's Switchboard .......... 771-8212
Lesbian Mothers Union .....•.. 824-2790
National Organization
.for women (NOW)
San Francisco .....•.. 398-6213
Berkeley ......•. 527-2707
Slightly Older Lesbians (50~)863-6691
Women's Counseling ....•.••.•. 392-0400
S.F. Sex Information ..••...•. 665-7300
suicide Prevention ......••... 752-3400
Women Against Rape (WAR) ••••• 648-?425
S.F. Women's Centers ...•...•. 431-7767
DOB San Francisco: 1005 Market St. #402---10--1
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 861-8689
DOB Boston: 419 Boylston St. #406
Boston, Mass. 02116
DOB New J:Jrsey: P.O. Box 62
Fanwood, New J:lrsey, 07023
DOB Dallas: c/o Rob Shivers, Rox 59--1--1
Dallas, Texas, 75222
***********************::::::::::::::::
********************* •
WOMEN'S BARS
MEMBERSHIP IN SAN FRANCISCO
DAUGHTERS OF 13ILITIS
Single Membership: '$7. 00 ($9. 00 overseas) includes
half-price to social functions, l ilirary privileges and
SISTERS for one year.
Scott's Pit
10 Sanchez ·•••••••••••••••••626-9534
La Cave
Sutter, between Franklin/Gough
775-2060
C oup l es .• ,$10 . 00 (-::12
<1'
• 00 overseas) includes half-price to
sicial functions, library privileges and SISTERS for
one year.
Maud's study
937 Cole •·••••••·•••••·••·••731-6119
MEMBERSHIP LIMITED TO THOSE lH YEAHS 01{
OLDER
Peg's Place
Geary, at 12th ......•........ 668-5050
Kelly's
20th off Mission ......••••... 285-0066
Thousand and One Nights
335 Jones .....••.........•... 474-1067
Gay Restaurants
Tiffiny•s ••••••••••••••••••626-1308
1900 Market st. (open 24 hrs.)
·28 ·
J
Bert, Kate, Jodi, Lois, Flo,
Melinda and Liane
Cover By Sister Judith A. Tinkler
I
I
•
-
f, , r, of the Ct:-,,t r
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE OF THE SAN FRANCISCO
CHAPTER OF THE DAUGHT_,ERS OF BILITIS
... a women's organization to aid the Lesbian in discovering her place in society and to educate society to understand and accept her, without prejudice, and ...
l. To encourage and. support the Lesbian in her search
for her social, economic, personal, interpersonal and
vocational identity ,witpin society by maintaining and
building a library on the themes of homosexuality and
on women; by p:foviding social functions where she can
communicate with others and expand her social world '
outside the bar scene; and by providing ·a n organized .
.structure through which she can work to change society's
limitations upon her lifestyles; by providing a forum for
the inte rchange of ideas and constructive solutions to
'. ~omen's problems.
j
.,_
I
l.).
..
,,
'
•
2. T o educate the public' to accept a·nd understand the
Lesqian as an individual.; thereby leading to the breakdown' of taboos, 'p:rejudfces, and limitations ·on her lifestyle by sponsoring pulflic <l~sc1;1ssions; bJ: providing individuals as . spea-kers and participants •in various forums
designed to ed,u cfiie the public; by disse.minating educa• ~ional and rational lite:¢ture· pn .the Lesbian., •-
Volume IV, Number 7
OFFICERS
SAN FRANCISCO DOB
President . . . . . . .
Vice-President . . . .
Secretary . . . . . . .
Assistant Secretary • .
Treasurer . . • . . . .
*
*
Sharon Crase
Marley Sooklaris
Charleen Pyron
Liane Esstelle
Allison Meader
*
T~
3.
e'ncourage, support_and participate in responsible
research dealing \\'.ith. lioro'osex~a-lity.
-•
.
4. To investigate the penal code and to promote changes,
in order to provid~ equitable -handling of cases involving
homosexuals, with due process of law and without prejudice
TO SAY AND BELIEVE THAT GAY IS GOOD.
This issue of SIST3RS is dedicated to
Jodi and Barb for arranging the first
Gay Awards Banquet in our history ....
*
*
*
THE HETEROSEXUAL
CONTENTS - JULY 1973
The Heterosexual . . . . . . • . . . 3
For R . . . . . . . . . • • • • • • 5
An Opening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
The Bisexual Blues . . . . . . . . . 7
The Doormat . . . . . . • • • • • • 9
The Gay Community Awards Banquet . . 13
Calendar. . . . . . . . • e
14
A Dedication to Your Closet, Part III
Part III . . . . . . . . . • . • 18
Alone . . . . . . . • • • • • • • • 22
Ulan-Hating Reviewed . . . . . . . . 23
Women's Counseling . . . . . . . . . 27
Information . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
I
•
t
t
The heterosexual usually comes from a home
in which there is a dominant father and a passive mother, which is a very oppressive and at
times sadistic environment. The heterosexual
child soon learns that there are games played
and that the rules are very subtle. The child
is pushed toward learning and taking part in
these games.
The heterosexual learns to manipulate very
early in childhood. For instance, the heterosexual boy learns to use aggressive behavior
to get his way, and he also starts very early
to learn other strategies of manipulation. It
is quite common for the father to take the
young heterosexual aside and educate him on
how to treat women. For instance, he teaches
him never to let women dominate him and to
keep them under control. He also lectures him
on the evils of women.
The mother also educates her daughter on the
art of manipulation. The heterosexual mother
teaches her daughter how to make the husband
feel superior and dominant. The subtle message
here is, of course, that the male is truly not
superior, just an overgrown baby with a big
ego to nurse. However, the female's education
is more complicated and puzzling. Her intelligence is tested according to how dumb and
helpless she can appear to the male. The male
on the other hand is denied his sensitivity
and is not allowed to feel weak.
It is quite clear that heterosexuals--female
and male--are not brought up to be friends,
but rather they grow up with hidden feelings
of mistrust and hostility toward each other.
Mutual consent is not necessary to perform
the heterosexual act. According to their laws
the husband i n free to take his wife against
her will. Als o they have a high incidence of
other types o~ rape.
Another outstanding peculiarity of the male
heterosexual is that he often bases his selfworth on his virility. The medical and psychiatric files are filled with case histories of
heterosexual males becoming temporarily or
permanently impotent due to the experience of
not being able to perform sexually. This usually occurs during the wedding night. The victims of this trauma often state that their inability to perform gave them a feeling of dying.
The ritual of matrimony is also a peculiarity
of heterosexuals. Until recently, and still to
a great degree among older heterosexuals, sexual activities outside of matrimony were
thought of as evil, sinful, and immoral. Young
heterosexuals suffered frustrations and feelings of guilt when they engaged in such acti- vities. However, these feelings of frustration
and guilt were thought to leave the heterosexuals after the ritual of matrimony was performed.
It is hard to know who is a heterosexual just
by simple observation. Even the stereotype heman may not be a heterosexual but a normal,
sensitive gay male. The female is perhaps a
little easier to observe on sight, since most
lesbians find it hard to feign helplessness.
But again, we cannot be sure. The helplesslooking female might just be a lesbian infiltrator.
Statistics show that heterosexuals are dangerous. Eighty-five percent of all sex offenses are committed by heterosexual males.*
Also, they are extremely dangerous to the gay
community, since they seem to find enjoyment
in a sport which they call "rolling queers."
Can the heterosexual be cured?
YES. However; this is a difficult task because most heterosexuals do not realize that
they are sick, and do not seek treatment.
*Kinsey Report.
-Zelima.
THE BISEXUAL BLUES
An Opening ..•
She sat, small and cowed,
the enormity of all around finally
hitting a real level - the reason
was all clear - a life plan began,
faltered, began again. Sudden truth
falling on sudden truth all spilling
into that noiseless, vacuous space
she occupied. All hers - all hers.
She watched a small ripple in the
rug and used it as a focal ... The
ripple became totally encompassing
and she knew it would do no good to
tackle the straightening of it now •.
an always small, unnoticed, silent
wetness found its way down that soft
waiting face. She knew, and now the
day was very quiet in her self-imposed cage; she noticed now that
even the bars refused to tarnish ...
and, there was a door ...
jSafier
•• • • •••• •••••
•• •••••••••
• •••••••
OCs-quoted quotes,
- "Behind every great woman there is
another woman""Are you a woman or a mouse?""Woman cannot live by bread alone"-Liane
Esstelle
I've got the bisexual blues ~bain, mama. It's
one of my secret vices, like keeping a spoon and a
box of Jello in my lower left desk drawer. It's
called three months without a lover, and I'm starting to make love to my breakfast.
What was wrong with the guy I played frisbee with
for an hour? Or the man who sat and made a daisy
headband for the small woman I was with?
Isn't it unfair to declare the whole male sex chauvinistic? Since the whole point of separatism is to
get women to the point where they can negotiate from
a place of equal strength, why not skip the revolution
and relate directly? Dial it yourself, you won't have
to pay off Gloria Steinem. Don't be so vague and futuristic.
Then I remember how it really was, playing (risbee
with that joker. I went to the park to write poetry.
The frisbee came along to get some fresn air. I
wound up throwing it with him because I couldn't think
of a polite way to tell him to fuck off. I didn't
want to make him angry. No, I didn't find an acceptable male. I covered up for my servility.
I remember how clearly defined my idea of the
revolutio~ is . . I want a separate physical space for
women, with a separate administration, defense, art,
religion, medicine, transportation--everything. I'm
trying to get thousands of years of slavery off my
back. Nothing less than a separate female society
will prove to me that the "myth" of male superiority
is a myth.
If I did find a man who would not call me a chick,
what would that prove? All the things that are
wrong with the system would still exist.
So I waste my time discovering men who are "exceptions," men who don't perpetuate the system, men who
are individual l y liberated. Of course I can fight my
oppression ind 1vidually. Somehow, it doesn't add up
'co." It adds up to a "yes, there is room for
this system."
Anyway, balling a liberated man is no way to treat
him. I'd rather make friends with him.
Come to think of it, where does this assumption
originate that after the whole mess is cleared away,
everyone will be bisexual1 lt isn't an assumption
I want to make. All I really want men to do is to get
off my back. Digging them is another project entirely.
The last fact, the one that really stuns me, is that
I would get up from screwing, and I would still be a
lesbian. I would take it as evidence that I still
hadn't liberated myself, and I would go back and
work twice as hard for my movement.
:.ii;:
J.n
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·11·
THE GAY COMMUNITY AWARDS BANQUET ....
May Jl, 1973 .. Glide Memorial Church ..
San Francisco. A banquet of recognition
honoring community service.
I've been asked for an honest,
"gut" reaction to the Gay Community
Awards Banquet. This is difficult because it is only one individual's reaction, so bear with me. My reaction is
three-fold. First and foremost, I must
applaud Jodi and Barbara (if you don't
know them, meet them) for their conceptualization of,coordination and untiring efforts toward making the first
recognition of our gay brothers and sisters dedicated endeavors in raising our
consciousness as well as society's
possible. To them in particular, and to
the many volunteers who did the endle ss
shit work, goes my individual, and, if
I may be bold, our joint appreciation
and thanks.
My second reaction is also positive•
The feeling of mutual love and respect
which flowed through the room, to participants who entertained us, and to
participants who were a part of the
communal witnessing of the activities,
was so real and honest and beautifully
open. (Even if at times a little negative because some of our sisters grew
impatient with our brothers lack of
poetry directed at lesbian love.) Regardless, we all knew who we were and
were proud to show it. As the evening
warmed, we knew we were each a part of
one another, irrevocably tied in a
growing awareness of the signifigance
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of being gay, and, undeniably, proud
of it.
My third reaction is negative. It
is the feeling that somehow all those
who didn't participate are less than
gay and ashamed to be associated with
those who know they are and are proud.
As I looked around the room, and saw so
many, conspicuously absent, with all the
love I felt for myself and those there
with me, I was saddened and very empty
for those who were absent.
Being gay is not only a statement
one makes, finally, after much struggle
with onesself, it is also a statement
and an oath to the world. Those who
were there that evening, who were honored, who were there to do honor, had
no less to loose (if we must consider
being oneself at the sake of society's
disfavor a loss) ... we gained so much.
We were glad to be there - for
those who were, it was good to see youfor those who were not, we missed your
presence.
• ••••••••••••
Lois Small
MCCa Freda Smith, Rev. Ralph Gordon &
Frank J. Howell
CRHa Phyllis Lyon, Dorr Jones & Chas.
H. Lewis
SIR, Charley Davis, Max Clements &
George Coffman
DOBa Sharon Crase, Del Martin & Diane
Smith
GAY COMMUNITY AWARD RECIPIENTS
., ,.4- ..Dedicatwn ro .your CloJer':
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FOCUSs A JOURNAL FOR GAY WOMEN
published by
BOSTON DAUGHTERS OF BILITIS
. ...
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MAN-P...ATING REVIEWED
Man-hating has been referred to 1 by some lesbians of that genre as "an honorable and viable political act." The number of lesbian
feminists who take pride in fulfilling the
stereotype of the shit-stomping, mean, manhating dyke is growing. Cliquey social cadres
of lesbians whose common interest revolves
around hating men are increasing in number.
If a lesbian in the midst of these man-hating
Medusas should dare to say that she LIKES some
men, she is treated like a traitor. A woman
who works politically and socially with men,
even if they are faggot effeminists, is also
given this same treatment.
I, as a lesbian, can detect many valid reasons for women to hate men. It is they who
control our society, who made our sexist institutions, and it is they who raped us and
made us "queer." Men oppress women politically, economically, and socially. They are constantly encroaching upon our life-flow, and
our personhood. Often, they use the threat of
physical violence to control us. When we insist upon claiming our right to equal time in
conversation, we are called dominating bitches.
In a male supremacist society geared to satisfy male needs and male egos, sometimes I, as a
woman, feel like I don't even exist.
There are many logical reasons for hating
men, but the rationale for not hating men is
just as well-founded. Men, just like women,
are people. As people, ALL of us--regardless
of sex or gender-identification, have our bad
points. There is a tendency within the move,, ment to make woman the sacred cow, the divine
source from which all goodness, sweetness, and
light emanate; conversely, men have been total•• ly blackballec~--they are now the source of all
evil. In the statement "All men are sexist
Pigs," I see parallels to other stereotypical
pigeonholing, such as "All Jews have big noses,"
"Women's libbers are all just a bunch of manhating dykes," and "All homosexuals are mentally ill." Such non-differentiational thinking shows a lack of logic, and an excess of
reactionary emotionalism.
• At Jill Johnston's speech in San Francisco
recently, a lesbian was selling a newspaper
called "Dykes & Gorgons" for 50¢ a copy. When
I finally got a look at it, I was glad I hadn't
bought one, for it was filled with more sexist
hate rhetoric against men. (For the information of those unfamiliar with Greek mythology,
a gorgon is one of three sisters--Stheno,
Euryale and Medusa--with serpents for hair, so
terrifying that the sight of them turned the
beholder into stone.) Thusly do these menhating lesbians try to make themselves as vicious, "butch" and ugly as possible. These
man-hating Medusas are just the kind of women
I wish to call my "sisters"--that is, if I wish
to be turned into stone by looking at one of
them. They're just what we need to build an
army of lovers--more women filled with hate.
I cannot empathize at all with these menhating Medusas, nor can I talk with them or
communicate with them in any way. They are
nothing but a group of dour, embittered,
frigid, young old maids. One who is filled
with hate cannot love. All they produce is
negative energy which goes nowhere. They even
alienate their own sisters from themselves. I
have already seen too much hate of men spill
over onto other sisters at the West Coast Lesbian Conference to know how self-destructive
the "profession" of man-hating is. These gorgons may put the fear of God into men, but
they do likewise to many of their sisters. I
am not frightened--I am just totally repulsed.
But let us not become confused• there is another viable, political alternative, and this
is separatism. Man-hating lesbians are, of
course, separatists, but not all separatists
hate men as a group. As women, we have had to
rub elbows and contend with men for too long.
We have been separated from other women. To
exclude men as much as possible from one's
life can be an enriching and edifying experience. I do not profess to be a separatist,
but I have found that separating myself from
men has generated much positive energy at certain times in my life. Separatism is a useful
outgrowth of the women's movement, but it need
not necessarily stem from hating men.
The negative energy which comes from manhating accomplished nothing politically in
terms of real change. It is self-destructive,
especially in the political arena. It is foolhardy for the weaker oppressed group to confront a powerful oppressor and scream "I hate
you!" It is not politically wise to lay all
of your cards on the tables there is merit in
being cagey, scheming, and somewhat closety.
By making ourselves as ugly, vicious and
radical as possible, we remove ourselves from
any serious political consideration from the
establishment. It is significant that out of
the many Women's Liberation groups in this
c·ountry, the one that has accomplished the
most constructive political change is a conservative, middle-class organization--the
National Organization for Women. "Ms.n magazine, with a circulation of over 300,000, is
not exactly radical either. Militancy, coercion, and hate vibes will not win us friends
or sympathizers.
I like men, and I'm glad they are here. Men
don't have the power to hurt me emotionally as
women do--ma.ybe that's why they make such good
companions and friends. There are men that I
hate, but it is comforting to know that when I
find myself hating women, as I occasionally do,
that there are other outlets for my social proclivities. I firmly believe that one doesn't
have to hate men in order to love women.
I may be a 3tone lesbian, but I refuse to let
these man-hat i ng Medusas turn me into stone.
- Roberta Dill
·,
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WOMEN'S COUNSELING SERVICE
The Women's Counseling Service is a
group of women therapists with training
in traditional counseling and clinical
psychology. As feminists we are seeking
to provide a non-oppressive therapeutic
service for women in which the emphasis
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Our purpose is to help each woman free
herself from a social environment which
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and live
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TH IS IS OUP. FLAG 8£
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vua..'{
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DAUGHTERS OF BILITIS
women's Switchboard .......... 771-8212
Lesbian Mothers Union .....•.. 824-2790
National Organization
.for women (NOW)
San Francisco .....•.. 398-6213
Berkeley ......•. 527-2707
Slightly Older Lesbians (50~)863-6691
Women's Counseling ....•.••.•. 392-0400
S.F. Sex Information ..••...•. 665-7300
suicide Prevention ......••... 752-3400
Women Against Rape (WAR) ••••• 648-?425
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DOB Dallas: c/o Rob Shivers, Rox 59--1--1
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DAUGHTERS OF 13ILITIS
Single Membership: '$7. 00 ($9. 00 overseas) includes
half-price to social functions, l ilirary privileges and
SISTERS for one year.
Scott's Pit
10 Sanchez ·•••••••••••••••••626-9534
La Cave
Sutter, between Franklin/Gough
775-2060
C oup l es .• ,$10 . 00 (-::12
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Geary, at 12th ......•........ 668-5050
Kelly's
20th off Mission ......••••... 285-0066
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335 Jones .....••.........•... 474-1067
Gay Restaurants
Tiffiny•s ••••••••••••••••••626-1308
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·28 ·
J
Bert, Kate, Jodi, Lois, Flo,
Melinda and Liane
Cover By Sister Judith A. Tinkler
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