extracted text

APRIL, 1992

I Owe My Life to a Gun

No More Guns

by Laura Choate

by Margaret Cox

When I was asked to write an article on guns I felt rather uneasy
about sharing this. I hope it will ultimately convey a positive
message. I owe my life to a gun, unfortunately, as with most
circumstances with guns involved it meant taking a life. I have a
great respect for life and it took many years to come to terms with
the incident.
I was 12 years old and had just run away from my abusive home.
As with most runaways of the 70's I began hitchhiking. I was
picked up by a trucker on his way to New Mexico. After several
hours of riding and talking the driver pulled off to an isolated area
and attacked me. He beat me unconscious, raped me with a knife,
because I was too small for him, then he alternately raped and
sodomized me. I remember regaining consciousness, bleeding, in
pain and terrified. He was driving again, my clothes were gone and
I couldn't find my glasses to see anything with. As I fumbled
around in the sleeper compartment, he grabbed me and pulled me
towards the driver seat with him. He said he was going to take me
to some friends of his so they could enjoy me too, then he threw me
back against the wall of the sleeper where I lost consciousness again,
believing I was going to die soon.
I woke to daylight. Again I began attempting to find my glasses
in the sleeper, I found them, but only after finding his gun he had
tucked under the mattress. I had no idea how to use it, I just sat
back there against the wall bleeding and in pain pointing it in his
direction. I prayed that it would keep him from killing me.
(continued on page 4)

They wouldn't let me wear my sixshooters to school, but I wore
them everywhere else, slung low on my hips, cool and dangerous,
ready to draw. They were handsome, silver, 'ivory' handled, with
a good substantial heft and a solid fit in the hand. My gun belt was
intricately tooled, nearly as gorgeous as my jeans belt, which was
also tooled, and studded with colored stones, a sheathed Bowie
knife, a real one, strapped to it. I was cool, I was together, I was
tough; I was seven something.
And of course my guns were cap pistols. Those days are long
gone now, as are the days of the frontier West I was trying to relive,
and I don't want a gun anymore.
It seems to me that we will never have a world without guns until
we make a world without guns; until we outlaw them all, stop
making them and owning them, until we have giant meltdowns of
turned-in and confiscated guns in town squares each year until every
gun out there is transformed into a monument to peace. And
therefore I think that the ethical decision, at least for most of us,
should be clear and simple: hasten the day, no more guns.
I need to voice an exception before I go any further; there are a
lot of people, a lot of women especially, who have bee~ not only
oppressed by violence, as all women are., but badly hurt by it; who
have had the fear become monstrous reality. If they want a gun, if
a gun restores a sense of safety or security or empowerment to them,
who is to say they are wrong? They deserve to be the last to give up
their weapons. (continued on page 4)

SUPPORT NEEDED FOR CUSTODY BATTLE
For millions of gay and lesbian parents and potential parents, the threat of losing their children in custody battles with heterosexual
ex-partners is painfully real. In most cases, fear, lack of financial resources, and lack of legal precedent force the parents to either give
up the children, give up the partner, or bargain away their personal rights to avoid losses in lengthy court cases. But there is a local
lesbian couple who is fighting back, and they need our immediate help and financial support.
A hearing has been set in the District Court of Cleveland County requesting a change in primary custody of two children from the
mother to the father because the mother is a lesbian, has a live-in-partner, and wants to move the family out of the state. The father has
known about the sexual orientation of the mother for years, but is now using this issue to block the out-of-state move because it is such
a potentially powerful weapon.
Though the mother and her partner have provided a safe, healthy, happy, and loving home for the children, the judge may still award
custody to the father, restrict visitation, and/or force the partner to leave the home. If any of these happen, the couple will appeal to
the Oklahoma Supreme Court. And, if the couple wins, it is possible that the father may also appeal. This means that either way, the
couple must be financially ready to handle the estimated twenty-thousand dollar cost of the battle.
A decision at the Supreme Court level affects us all. Help tis stand with this couple by donating money now for legal costs. Their
court date is less than a month away, and they desperately need funds for witnesses, attorney fees, court costs, transcripts, and
depositions.
Send a donation today to Herland, c/o Legal Defense Fund, 2312 NW 39th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112. Let
us stand with these women in this very important case.

VOLUME 9 NUMBER 4

•

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

ST. SYBIL
Sybil Ludington, Matron Saint of the forgotten woman,
occasionally contributes to this space.
Dear St. Sybil,
So what do you think about guns? In this violent world are
women being foolish when they refuse to own guns, or are
they behaving responsibly in trying to create a better world by
living it as they would wish it to he? Should a self-respecting
woman own a gun to protect what is ultimately her only
possession, her life? Or does the fact that most women are
killed by lovers or husbands mean that owning a gun would
make her more likely to he a quick kill some day, because it
would make it 100% certain that there would he a gun around
during moments of rage? What about the ethics of having a
gun around the house for young children to find and blow
their little playmates away with? With so much violence
directed against women just because they are women,
shouldn't women have an equalizer? Would a woman shoot
a date rapist? Doubtful. A stranger rapist? If she could get
to the gun, probably. Is not wanting to own guns women's
collusion in their own victimization, or is it high principle? Is
it principle women can't afford yet? Help, St. Sybil. If my
mind keeps spinning on this dilemma it may just spin right out
of the universe.
In honest confusion,
Maggie Mae
Dear Maggie Mae,
Like a good many of us here where I am, I come down squarely
on both sides of this issue; as you obviously do too.
In the long run, of course, which is more clearly visible to us
where I am, the world will never be peaceful until all people eschew
all weapons; and this is going to take a lot of unilateral, pacifist type
action. So get rid of your gun.
However, where you are, seeing the world narrowly - up
close and personal, so to speak, - you tend to feel pretty stupid and
scared if the time comes that you "need" a gun and on principle you
don't have orie. So get a gun?
Now, you realize that there truly are issues on which rational,
honorable, ethical people can disagree; and this might be one of
them. The best help I can give you is to suggest that you go to
Herland's discussion group on this very knotty topic on Tuesday,
April 21st, at 7 p.m., and thrash it out with other concerned and
good women. You certainly won't all agree at the end of the
evening, but you should be firmer and more comfortable in your
own decision.
Good luck,
Sybil

Quality Service With That Personal Touch™

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2 Herland Voice , Apnl 1992

942-5693

Dear St. Sybil,
~ Where you are, are there cats and dogs? Do the dogs have
fleas?
Gotta have my pets, and prefer them flealess,
love,
Lotta Katz
Dear Lotta,
Not only are there all kinds of animals here, they don't have to
worry about traffic, or animal experimentation, or fur coats, or
furballs or any of those nasty things. There are fleas, sure, but the
fleas don't bite. They just form little circuses and hop around
entertaining everyone. So not to worry, you don't have to leave
Smokey or Creedy or Tigger behind . All in all, in fact, when we
manage to keep our eyes averted from the human condition, this is
a pretty nice place to spend an eternity.
Love to you and all your critters,
Sybil

P-FLAG PUBLICATIONS
Four new P-FLAG publications for families and friends oflesbians,
gay men and bisexuals have been published by Parents Flag
Federation; and are available on the research shelf at Herland .
"Supporting Our Gay Loved Ones: A Parents FLAG Perspective"
is a reproduction of the paper presented by national President
Paulette Goodman to the American Psychiatric Association in May
of 1991. The booklet discusses the common issues that affect gay
people and their families and the coming out process for parents.
The author described the history, objectives, and purposes of the
Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.
Three issue papers written by noted sexuality educator Ann
Thompson Cook provide the latest information and most
compelling arguments for recognizing the special needs of lesbian
and gay youth and providing them with a safe and nurturing
environment.
Issue Paper# l: "Who is Killing Whom?" explains why sexual
orientation is the primary motivation for 30% of all adolescents who
succeed in taking their own lives. This paper challenges the reader
to become part of the solution by 1) helping to cultivate an
affirming environment for lesbian and gay youth; and 2) assisting
these youth to actively develop coping skills to handle the painful
rejection of bigotry and discrimination.
Issue Paper # 2: "You Can Help" presents an overview of the
social context lesbian and gay youth experience as they grow up.
This piece provides the reader with a sense of the loneliness and
isolation experience by these adolescents attempting to reconcile
their sexual identity to society's norms.
Issue Paper # 3: "Youth and Homosexuality" discusses the
distinct issues of sexual identity, orientation, and behavior and the
implications of sexual diversity throughout childhood. The paper
makes recommendations for fundamental changes in the way
institutions care for, educate, and serve youth in order to prevent
serious physical and mental health consequences. A set of all four
papers may be ordered by sending $5 to Parents Flag, Department
RAYi, P. 0. Box 27605, Washington, DC 20038

PROFILE--Maria Mitchell, 1818 - 1889; A librarian by day and
astronomer by night, she was the first person using a telescope to
establish the orbit of a comet, later named in her honor. She was
the first woman to be elected to the American Academy of Arts and
Sciences, and was professor of Astronomy at Vassar, 1865 - 1888.

TO THE EDITOR
Dear Newsletter Committee
I would like to commend ycm on the March issue of "The
Herland Voice". I always look forward to receiving my issue and
usually read it cover to cover that evening.· This issue was no
exception.
I enjoyed the writings on the theme of role models. They made
me reflect on my own childhood and remember memorable women
in my own life. Thanks to all the women who made the effort to
share their experiences with me.
As always there were articles informing me of the political arena
in the gay world - information I could never find in Gaylord's
paper. It's also enjoyable to read other women's views - as
evidenced by the reviews, cartoon and satirical articles.
The thermometer for the building fund was just what I needed to
renew my commitment for a ~onthly donation.
There are exciting things happening in the women's movement
and you - the newsletter committee - are to be congratulated for
being such a stimulating part of them .
Great work! Thanks!
K . Rogers

•

A Southern Baptist Church in Raleigh, N.C has voted to approve
the blessing of a union of two gay men according to an AP report
published in the Daily Oklahoman on Saturday, March 14. Sixtyfour percent of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church members voted to
approve the union while 94% supported full church membership for
lesbians and gays .
W.W. T. M.C., Dept. W, Box 22
Walhalla, MI 49458 616-757-4766
Axis Dance Troupe
Lillian Allen
Ruth Barrett & Candlelight Concert
Barrett & Smith
BETTY
Heather Bishop
Bougainvillea
Carolyn Brandy
Sarah Campbell
Seraiah Carol
Casselberry & DuPree
Carol Chaikin
Sara Cytron
Dance Brigade
Dos Fallopia
Mrs. FUN
Judy Grahn
Susan Jackson
Nedra Johnson
Kitka
Living On The Edge
Nathie Marbury
MASA & Osaka Jazz Wome n
Lee Pui Ming
Rashida Oji
Vicki Randle
Toshi Reagon
Catherine Roma & Festival Chorus
Dorothy Scott
Peggy Seege r
Terry Sendgraff
Shikisha
Sharon Still & Festival Band
Linda Tillery & Gospel Choir
Topp Twi ns
Edwi na Lee Tyler
Urban Bush Women

Twanda -- Ready for Retreat!

RU?
May 15-17, 1992
Robbers Cave State Park
Hey Y'all,
Well, Twanda and I just finished putting together the agenda for
the Spring Retreat. Mark your calendars, get your checkbook, find
a pet/baby sitter and get ready -- its gonna' be good. You 'II want to
beatRobbersCaveStatePark(again)onMay 15, 16,and 17, 1992.
We will have dance lessons - complete with a dance Friday
evening to utilize your new skills.
Workshops will include
"Spirituality and Self Esteem"; "Song Writing", "American Sign
Language", "Goddess", "Creative Writing" , and more not yet
definite. Erica Wheeler will be in concert on Saturday evening. In
addition there are always sports, open mike, games, videos, food,
fun and women.
Meet new friends , get reacquainted with old friends and have
some fun.
For the old time Retreat folks, I'm planning to put together a
scrapbook so bring photos of past retreats. Help identify year and
season on some of mine and lets re/create some Retreat memories.
Clip and mail your registration today . If you are able to pay a
little extra to provide a scholarship please do so. We always have
a lot of requests and strongly desire to honor all. If you need a
scholarship, please send your registration and request early. When
scholarships are exhausted, we will need to request partial payment.
If you would like to share a ride, please include your phone number
so we can help work out details .
Oh! Twanda just reminded me, we will be having a raffle of items
generously donate by our consignors. There will be at least 12
different prizes you can win. Also, our stock of snack items will
include fresh roasted peanuts, fruit, juice, pop, mineral water and
lots more so bring your change jar.
As always the Retreat itself is one big group effort. When you
arrive, don't forget to sign up for small (or large) work details.
If you have any questions call Herland (521 -9696) and leave a
message for me and I will get back to you ASAP.
See you there,
L~ra
•

Suzanne Westenhoefer

Kare n Williams
Wo men's Philharmonic String Quintet

Hertand Voice, April 1992 3

No More Guns
(continued from page 1)

PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources , Inc., 2312 N.W. 39,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

I also feel the need to say, for honesty's sake, that if! would feel
a lot safer with a gun I would probably get one in a minute,
whatever the ethics of it. But unless a gun is accessible I can't see
how it can do much good; and ifl can't strap it around my .waist it's
not very accessible. If it is in a drawer or under the bed or up in a
closet it is most likely to be found and used by small children,
drunks, suicides and burglars. And I don't want to keep a gun
around for any of those folks. So it seems to me that both the
sensible choice and the ethical choice are the same, which makes it
easy: No more guns.

•

NEWSLETTER COMMIITEE: Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox,
Pat Reaves
CIRCULATION: 950

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under a pseudonym.

Guns?

Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request.

by Peggy Johnson

The Voice is printed on recycled paper.

Guns? What do I know about guns? I took a class on how to
shoot a gun when I was about 17. We had gotten a .357 magnum.
I got my picture in the paper and everything.
Then a close friend stole the gun from my sister's apartment and
this caused a major rift in my family. He sold it for $30 so he could
go to camp. I think he got a deal (he got into more trouble later) so
that he had to join the Air Force when he was 17. They have some
really big guns in the Air Force.
When I got broken into a few years ago, a friend of mine loaned
me her gun for a few weeks because I was a little scared. I finally
realized that the gun was bothering me as much as anything so I
gave it back to her. The first few days I had it, it did lend some
comfort, I must admit.
A couple of years ago, I started thinking I might want to get a
gun and do some target practice. I was taking a class at the time -American Political Parties, Political Behavior. The professor made
an interesting comment that has stuck with me. He.bluntly said that
guns are for killing people and that target practice is just practice
toward that end.
Well, I haven't been able to bring myself to practice killing people
and I don't think anyone should have a gun who "doesn'tknow how
to use it," as the saying goes. There are other skills I'd rather learn.
Furthermore, the anti-waiting period argument is stupid. It
doesn't necessarily preclude one's ability to purchase a gun like the
right wing radicals profess. Why can't they use their energy (and
money) on some worthwhile cause like stamping out hunger?
Anyway, I'm not so sure about the background check and a possible
infringement of constitutional rights but I do favor a cooling off
period for people who make decisions to buy guns. Who know·s?
It might save a few self-inflicted head wounds (or whatever other
body parts people tend to blow away).
All of this comes from a kid who played army when I was young,
had cowboy holsters with six-shooter cap pistols, toy rifles, and my
favorite -- a little play derringer that would fit up a shirt sleeve.
Maybe if I lived in a war zone or in the wilderness, I'd have one,
I don't know. My neighborhood is on the fringe, after all . Plus,
who didn't cheer when Louise blew away that creep who was raping
Thelma? Or a year ago that 70 year-old woman who shot the guy
who broke into her house in Oklahoma City?
For me right now, though, I prefer the safety and comfort of
knowing that there is no gun under my pillow or in my drawer that
I may feel compelled to use in a moment of desperation. May you
all rest easy in your own choices and may your strength come from
inner peace instead of your peace coming through presumed outer
strength.
•

4 Hertand Voice, Apnl 1992

I Owe My Life to a Gun
(continued from page f)

With the flap closed he couldn't see me, had he, I'm sure in the
condition I was in he could've easily taken it from me. I had no idea
where we were at the time, I felt the truck stop and all I could think
of was what he had said about his friends. I later found out it was
only an intersection. When he stqpped, I first froze, then reacted,
I knew I couldn't take anymore. I pushed the flap back, pointed the
gun at his head and squeezed the trigger with the last of my
strength. The noise got people's attention and the police came. I
don't remember anything until I was being put in the ambulance.
The police called it self defense on the spot. I was taken to the
hospital for transfusions and emergency surgery. They were able to
salvage my reproductive organs, however, they told me they
doubted I could ever become pregnant.
For 15 years I blocked the memory of the incident. Then the
memories became overpowering along with guilt and shame. I
started having vivid flashbacks and entered treatment being
diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was then with a
lot of therapy I grew to realize how lucky I was to be alive. With the
development of my spirituality I came to believe it was far from
luck. Since that incident I have accomplished many things and
touched many Jives . I believe that gun gave me a choice I might not
otherwise have had to save my life and prevent this man from
harming others. I believe in unfair situations guns give us a choice
to protect ourselves. I own a gun today and I know that given a life
or death situation I could use it. I touch many young lives in my
work today and I strive to instill a respect for all life. Using a gun
should never be a choice taken lightly. With a gun at least I have a
choice.
•

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Should Women Have Guns?

Why I Own A Gun

by Nancy Dwyer

by Deborah Fox

Since being approached to write an article regarding whether
women should have guns, I have gone through various stages of self
examination. Though I am personally opposed to guns, I can
likewise see their necessity in cases of self defense.
My opposition to guns can easily be negated by advocates of the
National Rifle Association. Not only is the right to bear arms
guaranteed in our Constitution, but "guns don't kill, people do".
How does this type of flippancy explain children killing children in
schools, the senseless "drive-by" shootings and women being gunned
down because they left abusive relationships? Something is very
wrong with our society wh_en a person's right to own guns becomes
more important than an innocent person's right to live!
As previously stated I do believe that there are times when, in
cases of self defense, owning a gun may become a necessity. Let me
relate my own story with the hope that this will clarify some of my
confusion on this issue. A few years ago I entertained the idea of
purchasing a gun because I heard that my life style and my
children's was being threatened. Upon learning this I planned how
I would go to a store, purchase a small handgun, take lessons to
develop accuracy and competence. Envisioning how I would await
this person entering my home, I would calmly take aim, shooting
first an appropriate part of his anatomy, then aiming form his heart
afterwards. He would never bother my children or myself again. (I
should mention that the "he" was not my ex.)
After having justified the purchase of a gun for protection I took
this one step further: why should I wait for the provocation? Why
not simply stalk him down, blow him away and be done with the
suspense? This change of tactic terrified me. I was willing to
murder someone over a rumor? Calling the police never crossed my
mind . Women with court ordered restraining papers and peace
bonds die expecting they will be protected.
After thinking about this topic further, I began to question, why
is "should women have guns?" even a question . "Should men have
guns?" is rarely asked in our society? Are women incapable of
handling guns? Surely this is not the case. Women have proven
themselves from the beginning of our country, through the world
wars, Vietnam and Desert Storm. This questioning of women
sounds like another one of our patriarchal double standards where
women and men are differentiated. Who would lose most if women
who are abused, battered and raped decided that they needed to
take up arms to stop the violence? What would happen if men
realized that women were not going to stand for the intimidation
any longer? Would the courts change the laws regarding violence
towards women or would the media run a campaign how "crazed"
women suffering from PMS are gunning down innocent men?
Each woman must make up her own mind about owning a gun.
She must become trained in its use, comfortable with the knowledge
that it will more than likely be her only source of protection and
more important, not be afraid to use it. I called one local company
that offers training for women at a cost of $50.00 per class. Classes
are 6 to 8 hours in length which is sufficient time to learn I was told .
As the spokesperson verified, more women are taking classes and
realizing the need for protection.
I still have not changed my opinion about guns and the violence
associated with them. My fantasy of searching out and destroying
my harasser confirmed for me that purchasing a gun at that time
was not wise. However, I strongly recommend that if women are
going to own guns they need to be trained to use them, care for
them properly and lock them away from curious children.
•

As Jong as guns are made, criminals will have them . White collar
crime is a result of greed and street crime is a result of oppression .
Crime is a gauge of a society's sociological health or lack of it.
Crime rates are in direct proportion to the greed, sexism, classism
and twisted/tabooed sexuality of this male-designed culture. Until
the root causes of social ills are remedied, drug abuse, murder, rape,
theft, and other malefactions will plague us. I refuse to be a sitting
duck for male violence.
Perhaps it's easier for me to justify owning a gun since I live so
remote and far from police protection. I'm on my own, literally,
and must defend myself alone. But cities are where most crimes are
committed and I can't see how a woman in a parking lot could
phone the police or fend off a rapist nonviolently. And having been
raped I feel justified in concealing a weapon upon my p<~rson ifl so
choose.
I am concerned about the dangers involved in keeping a gun; the
chance that a child could get hold of it and hurt her/himself or
someone else, that a thief might steal it and use it in the next crime
or on me, or that I might accidentally shoot myself. And that's why
I am a firm believer in gun education and training.
I used to be against the bearing of arms and I thought keeping a
gun would attract that kind of energy and the situations in which I
would need the gun. I used to be afraid of guns and didn't even like
touching them. But when a gun-toting, sly-eyed fella stopped by my
remote country house and looked me up and down, I realized how
vulnerable I was. So I bought a gun and learned to use it and care
for it proficiently. It hasn't attracted situations in which I'd need a
gun, on the contrary I feel confident and I don't worry when I'm
alone. I'm not afraid and therefore bad situations aren't on my
mind.
Another idea is that women are conditioned not to fight back
and maybe owning a gun gives a woman a sense of confidence about
fighting back. Some women learn karate, and that's good, but for
me I don't ever want to be that close to an assailant, though karate
is a good skill to have. I believe wholeheartedly in nonviolent
activism, but there you have power in numbers and the message is
broader.
I envision a world of woman's values; equality, peace, fairness,
respect for the earth, that's what my life is for. But until violent
crimes are rare and no one has access to guns, I think I'll keep
mine. I'd rather be a gun toter than a victim of violent crime. •

Mowing • Fertlllzlng • Trimming
• Light Hauling •

" We Are Insured"

Nancy
794-6884

Reiland Voice, Apnl 1992 5

A Different View
Judith Rycroft's Report from "Over There"
"Remember--Tonight, when you put out the cat , don't forge t the
empties!"
Empties? Wow! You know how sometimes a wo rd fl ashes an
image? I had this picture pop into my mind : eyes, empty eyes-drained by pain, numbed by loss, sucked by demands ... it shook me.
I glanced up at the TV in time to see a gleaming tr io of milk
bottles huddled on a doo rstep. Silly me! Switching my mind to
British mode and duty, I trudged downstairs with two bottles, no
cat .
The familiarity of watching the te n o'clock news had fooled my
subconscious. Instead of being across the States and ocean from
you, I was ready for OK TV's "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where
your children are?" I just wasn't tuned in to milk bottles .
Speaking of milk ... one problem with travel these days is that the
world has been semi-homogenized. Go thousands of miles any
direction and you 'II still be in the familiar country of MacDonalds,
Coke, and Levis. My tip, to get the most out of any journey, is to
play the game of "Spot the differences." Honing in on similarities
just seems to warp impressions--I mean, those hamburgers are never
as good, Coke never as cold, Levi's never as cheap, as they are "at
home."
H aving lived among the British for half my life, I slip too easily
into being unconscious of the little differences--milkdelivered to the
front door in glass pint bottles, filled clotheslines, airing cupboards,
totally-talk radio, house names, public footpaths, geysers (for hot
water), the language.
Looking around for things to write home about sort of tunes me
back in. I look at the ads as if they were Jewel-Osco flyers and
crack u p over "Do-Do for congestion and catarrh" or "Mr Brain's
Faggots--A great meal all 'round!" (A faggot , by the way, is a ball
of ground pig pieces rolled in crumbs and fried.)
It's the differences that make labels, right? Here, no matter how
hard I try and before I even open my mouth, I'm "A Foreigner ." I
remember being in a program at my girls' school in England when
I was 13. I thought no one would know I was different because we
were all in uniforms--white shirt, green tie, blazer, skirt, knickers
(cotton drawers), white socks. "Ah, you are the Ameddican gel," the
visiting dignitary said to me. I was wearing penny loafers, long
before loafers hit the Brit-shoe-scene.
The other day, I goofed again. I realized by the glances that I
was "wearing my la be]" --I had on ear muffs and carried no shopping
bag. Ah well, no problem . I suddenly noticed, in a row of
brownstone houses, one proudly sporting the name "Mount Olives ."
I'm sorry, but that name j ust hit my funny spot. I giggled, and I
could almost ~ my label being changed from "Foreigner" to
"Crazy Foreigner."
I love reading house names over here. Last year M. and I stayed
in a Bed & Breakfast place called "Barf' which is rather an
unfortunate name for a place that serves food, yes? It turned out
the Barf is a phonic rendering of the northern surname "Barugh,"
and the owner was very proud of the association and antiquity.
I shouldn' t laugh, anyway. My house here in W ales in Ael-yBryn, which means "bump on a hillside. " The name comes with the
hou se, a pairing sometimes hundreds of years old. In the past one's
address had no numbers--"Caltofts, Broad Street, Chipping
Sod bury" or "The Manor, Hoarwithy." Although this is still the
case in some villages and older parts of towns, the system is
obviously a postman's nightmare and has yielded to the modern
numbers game.
Probably my biggest pastime and pleasure here is the ra dio . D o
any of you remember when American radio offered excitement like

6 Reiland Voice , Apnl 1992

"Who knows wh at evil lurks in the minds of men? Only THE
SHADOW knows--heh , heh, heh, heh, heh" and soaps like ''Folger's
coffee, mountain grown, brings you the transcribed adventures of
JUDY AND JANE"? In that little box by my bed I have three
wave-lengt hs and umpteen stations fu ll of drama, documentaries,
analyses, how-to/where-to/wh y-to, serials, interviews, etc., etc.
halleluja h! Mind you, I'm having to do more dial-hopping since the
General Election was ca lled fo r April 9. Before the announcement
on M arch 10, news of the American primaries and British political
sq uabbling used up more than their fa ir share, in my opinion. Now
that the campaigns are ON, it's sometimes hard to find a program
that admits it's fiction .
I'm trying to listen to enough to stay informed , thinking that
maybe I'll do my Conscientious World Citizen bit and vote here in
April and in OK in November. In both cases mine will probably be
a protest vote--I protest that life is never as beautiful as politician
insist they can make it .
Basically, it's a two-horse field here: the conservatives (or
Tories) under John Major and the Labor [Labour] Party led by Neil
Kinnock are polling around 40% each. The final result may depend
on a deal with the Liberal Democrats and Paddy Ashdown, polling
around 14%. The Liberals got into hot water a while back when the
Press revealed that Paddy had an affair with his secretary five years
ago. Of course, comparisons between Ashdown and Clinton flew
around. I thought the differences were interesting--the respective
responses in effect were:
PADDY ASHDOWN--Yep, I done it; told my wife; put it behind
us; next question?
BILL CLINTON--Nope, not me; wife agrees; what evidence?
In trying to escape politics, I've found a fantastic station; "Fem
Radio, FM." The bad news is that the station is so far away that I
can't catch it unless I dangle myself from the attic window holding
a coat hanger. The good news is that EveryWoman's Radio is
attracting so much interest that many of their broadcasts are being
repeated on national stations. Maybe I'll be able to hear enough to
tell you abou t some FemDiff, next month .
Hey ... don't forget the empties!
•

WOMEN'S FRIENDSHIPS - A BOOK REVIEW
by Jo Soske
Susan Koppleman has done it again. Her latest book Women s
Friendships is a collection of brilliant and beautiful short stories on
the all-too-often-ignored subject of women's relationships with one
another. It includes stories written from 1846 to 1991. The
representation of authors and perspectives is brilliant. It includes
such writers as Edith Wharton, Alice Childress, Paula Gunn Allen,
and Leslea Newman. The headnotes are done by a variety of
feminist scholars including our own Abigail Keegan . In addition to
being a rich and diverse literary collection, the book contains an
introduction and conclusion which every woman should treat
herself to the pleasure of reading. Susan Koppleman paints a warm
and enduring picture with words. Such a picture could only spring
from the heart of a woman who loves women.
Womens Friendships was published by the University of
Oklahoma Press in both hard cover and soft cover. It can be
ordered by Herland. Every woman who has ever had a friend ,
hopes to have one, or plans to be one should consider this book a
m~t.
•

MOTHER'S DAY RALLY
CHILDREN'S RIGHTS

FOR

A coalition of concerned groups is sponsoring a March for the
Children on May 10, 1992, followed by a Lobby Day on May 11.
They are calling for legislation to protect child ren and the rights to
which they are entitled under the Constitution of the USA. There
are thousands of sexual abuse cases going on all over this country,
where judges ordered children to visit and even live with their
abusers.
The Rally will take place on the U .S. Capitol steps in
Washington DC from 1 - 3 pm, May 10. For more information
contact Kitty Kruse, (310) 354-7396.
The Coalition is also asking people to support a Bill of Rights for
Child Victims of Sexual Abuse. The National Petition for Sexually
Abused Children's Rights will be presented to the U.S. Congress
during the Mother's Day Rally for Children's R ights; May 10/l 1,
1992. If you would like to be included on this petition, you can
come in to Herland to sign, or sign and send in the short form below
to Herland, 2312 NW 39th, OKC 73112.

4. HOLDING ADULTS ACCOUNTABLE: Each child victim should
have the legal right to hold any adult accountable for abusing them,
participating in tha t abuse or for not protecting them from further abuse.
This includes the legal right to file lawsuits against doctors, lawyer, GALs,
and any other child protective service or government agency.
5. BURDEN OF PROOF REGARDING VISITATION SHIFTS TO
ABUSER: Once abuse has been demonstrated to the degree to warrant

protection, the abuser should assume the burden of proof necessary to show
that visitation would be good for the child, as opposed to the current system
in which the protecting parent must show that visitation with the abuser
would be bad for the child .

6. TH E RIGHT TO CONFRONT THEIR ABUSER BUT WITH
PROT ECTION: Each child victim should have the right to testify with
permission from their therapist, so they can feel empowered to confront their
abuser with the truth of the assault. However, the Courts, prosecutors, and
GALs will be innovative via the use of TV and media technology to protect
the child from further abuse and threats within the courtroom.

7. THE SAME EXPECTATION OF ADULT VICTIMS TO HAVE
LAWBREAK.ER PUNISHED: Child victims should have the same rights
of adult victims to have lawbreakers punished, and not to have their
sentences be less because the victim was a child or a family member.

A BILL OF RIGHTS FOR CHILD VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE
1. TRAINED JUDGES AND MASTERS: Each child victim would be
entitled to have his or her case heard by a judge trained and educated about
child development and the full effects of child sexual abuse. This includes
Family, Juvenile and Criminal Courts.

TRAINED GUARDIAN AD LITEMS - BOTH LAY AND
LA WYER: Each child victim should be entitled to a lay GAL who would

8. COMPETENT EVALUATION ANDTESTIMONY: Child victims
should be entitled to examination by doctors and experts who have extensive
experience in child development and child sexual abuse issues.
9. CONSTITUTIONAL R IGHTS FOR EACH CHILD: Children
should have the same legal and constitutional rights that adults have.

2.

be that child's guardian angel advocate and oversee the work of the system
including the lawyer GAL representing the child. The lawyer GAL should
be trained and educated, and limited in their work to being only a child
advocate, not representing the parents or other adult offenders.

··································································································································•
NATIONAL PETITION FOR SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILDREN'S RIGHTS
I support the Bill of Rights for child Victims of Sexual Abuse.
NAME

3. CHILD PROTECTION ISSUES SEPARATED FROM DIVORCE
COURT: Each child victim should be entitled to have legal matters
pertaining to their protection heard by a different judge than the one hearing
the divorce case. The child will not be a pawn in a property dispute.

'vbLIJM'/l:ER.s fOR

"DliY

Herland Voice, Apnl 1992 7

Many thanks to the women (& 2 puppies, May & Zev), who helped at the "newsletter party" putt ing our March newsletter together for mailing:
Charlotte, Ginger, Karen, Kathy, Ketta, Linda, Margaret, Michelle, Mary, Pat & Pat, Peggy, Rhond a, Rita and Shirley. We figure it takes fifteen to
twenty woman-hours for these mailings, so this one not only was fun as usua l but went quickly, too.
Our newsletter party in April, preparing the May issue for mailing, will be Tuesday, April 28. 1992, at Berland, beginning at 6:00 p.m. Hope to see
you there.

Vegetarians of OKC, a group committed to promoting vegetarianism in the community, are planning a Vegetarian Camp-Out for
April 24 - 26 at Red Rock Canyon. There will be workshops including Rappelling, Gardening, Cooking Classes, Hiking and more; plus
of course lots of good food, fun and friendship. For more information call LaDonna at 558-6191 (digital pager).

Earth Day in the Park, Saturday, April 18, from 1 - 5 p.m., in Will Rogers Park Amphitheater. Live music, healthy foods, booths,
tables, etc. Bring your frisbees, etc.

QUOT ABLE .. . A male survivor of rape had the following to say in an article in the Spring '92 issue of On The Issues, a magazine
available for reading at Herland: " ... while many women and some men are victimized by rape, all women are oppressed by it, and any
victimization of women occurs in a context of oppression most men simply do not understand. Rape for men is usually a bizarre,
outrageous tear in the fabric of reality. For women, rape is often a confirmation of relative powerlessness, of men's contempt for
women, and its trauma is reinforced every day in a thousand obvious and subtle ways." Sometimes when we get so tired speaking out
for ourselves, it is nice to have someone else do it for us; thanks .

The 14th National Lesbian and Gay Health Conference and 10th Annual AIDS Forum will be held July 8- 12, 1992 in Los
Angles. The health conference features a full-day institute on lesbian health and a 2 1/2 hour update on "Lesbians and Cancer". For
registration information and a program brochure contact Daniel E. Reichard at 202-994-4285.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: Wanted for anthology. FROM WEDDED WIFE TO LESBIAN LIFE: Stories of Formerly Married
Lesbians. Looking for writing which contrasts the experience of living within the tradition of heterosexual marriage to that of living
outside of convention, as a lesbian. Will accept personal narratives, short autobiographical fiction, and some poetry. Contributions
encouraged from both established and first-time writers. Before-and-after photos also sought. Send with S.A.S.E. to: Deborah
Abbott/Ellen Farmer, editors; 1515 Capitola Road , Suite E, Santa Cruz, CA 95062. (Correspondence also welcome). Deadline: July
15, 1992.

Herland Spring Retreat
May 15 - 17, 1992
Robber's Cave State Park
Single Person's
Annual Income

Retreat Preregistration fee

under $ 6,500
$ 6,500-$13,250
$13,250-$19,500
over $19,500

$15
$25
$35
$40

Household Annual Income
(2 or more persons)
under $13,300
$1 3,300-$18,000
$18,000-$26,000
over $26,000

Please choose the registration fee most appropriate for you based on these suggested income
guidelines. Complete and return the preregistration form to Herland, 23 12 N.W. 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112.

HSR SPRING RETREAT REGISTRATION
NAME: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ __

PHONE: ~--------~

ADDRESS: _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ __ _ __ __ _ __ __ __ _ _ __
CITY: _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _
STATE _ _ _ _ ___ ZIP _ _ _ _ _ __
Registration fee enclosed: D $15 D $25
D I'm enclosing an additional$
D I need a scholarship to attend.
D I wou ld like to ride with someone.
D I can help provide rides to the retreat.

D $35 D $40
to provide retreat scholarships.

Return to:
HERLAND
2312 N.W. 39th
Oklahoma City, OK 73112



APRIL, 1992

I Owe My Life to a Gun

No More Guns

by Laura Choate

by Margaret Cox

When I was asked to write an article on guns I felt rather uneasy
about sharing this. I hope it will ultimately convey a positive
message. I owe my life to a gun, unfortunately, as with most
circumstances with guns involved it meant taking a life. I have a
great respect for life and it took many years to come to terms with
the incident.
I was 12 years old and had just run away from my abusive home.
As with most runaways of the 70's I began hitchhiking. I was
picked up by a trucker on his way to New Mexico. After several
hours of riding and talking the driver pulled off to an isolated area
and attacked me. He beat me unconscious, raped me with a knife,
because I was too small for him, then he alternately raped and
sodomized me. I remember regaining consciousness, bleeding, in
pain and terrified. He was driving again, my clothes were gone and
I couldn't find my glasses to see anything with. As I fumbled
around in the sleeper compartment, he grabbed me and pulled me
towards the driver seat with him. He said he was going to take me
to some friends of his so they could enjoy me too, then he threw me
back against the wall of the sleeper where I lost consciousness again,
believing I was going to die soon.
I woke to daylight. Again I began attempting to find my glasses
in the sleeper, I found them, but only after finding his gun he had
tucked under the mattress. I had no idea how to use it, I just sat
back there against the wall bleeding and in pain pointing it in his
direction. I prayed that it would keep him from killing me.
(continued on page 4)

They wouldn't let me wear my sixshooters to school, but I wore
them everywhere else, slung low on my hips, cool and dangerous,
ready to draw. They were handsome, silver, 'ivory' handled, with
a good substantial heft and a solid fit in the hand. My gun belt was
intricately tooled, nearly as gorgeous as my jeans belt, which was
also tooled, and studded with colored stones, a sheathed Bowie
knife, a real one, strapped to it. I was cool, I was together, I was
tough; I was seven something.
And of course my guns were cap pistols. Those days are long
gone now, as are the days of the frontier West I was trying to relive,
and I don't want a gun anymore.
It seems to me that we will never have a world without guns until
we make a world without guns; until we outlaw them all, stop
making them and owning them, until we have giant meltdowns of
turned-in and confiscated guns in town squares each year until every
gun out there is transformed into a monument to peace. And
therefore I think that the ethical decision, at least for most of us,
should be clear and simple: hasten the day, no more guns.
I need to voice an exception before I go any further; there are a
lot of people, a lot of women especially, who have bee~ not only
oppressed by violence, as all women are., but badly hurt by it; who
have had the fear become monstrous reality. If they want a gun, if
a gun restores a sense of safety or security or empowerment to them,
who is to say they are wrong? They deserve to be the last to give up
their weapons. (continued on page 4)

SUPPORT NEEDED FOR CUSTODY BATTLE
For millions of gay and lesbian parents and potential parents, the threat of losing their children in custody battles with heterosexual
ex-partners is painfully real. In most cases, fear, lack of financial resources, and lack of legal precedent force the parents to either give
up the children, give up the partner, or bargain away their personal rights to avoid losses in lengthy court cases. But there is a local
lesbian couple who is fighting back, and they need our immediate help and financial support.
A hearing has been set in the District Court of Cleveland County requesting a change in primary custody of two children from the
mother to the father because the mother is a lesbian, has a live-in-partner, and wants to move the family out of the state. The father has
known about the sexual orientation of the mother for years, but is now using this issue to block the out-of-state move because it is such
a potentially powerful weapon.
Though the mother and her partner have provided a safe, healthy, happy, and loving home for the children, the judge may still award
custody to the father, restrict visitation, and/or force the partner to leave the home. If any of these happen, the couple will appeal to
the Oklahoma Supreme Court. And, if the couple wins, it is possible that the father may also appeal. This means that either way, the
couple must be financially ready to handle the estimated twenty-thousand dollar cost of the battle.
A decision at the Supreme Court level affects us all. Help tis stand with this couple by donating money now for legal costs. Their
court date is less than a month away, and they desperately need funds for witnesses, attorney fees, court costs, transcripts, and
depositions.
Send a donation today to Herland, c/o Legal Defense Fund, 2312 NW 39th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112. Let
us stand with these women in this very important case.

VOLUME 9 NUMBER 4

•

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

ST. SYBIL
Sybil Ludington, Matron Saint of the forgotten woman,
occasionally contributes to this space.
Dear St. Sybil,
So what do you think about guns? In this violent world are
women being foolish when they refuse to own guns, or are
they behaving responsibly in trying to create a better world by
living it as they would wish it to he? Should a self-respecting
woman own a gun to protect what is ultimately her only
possession, her life? Or does the fact that most women are
killed by lovers or husbands mean that owning a gun would
make her more likely to he a quick kill some day, because it
would make it 100% certain that there would he a gun around
during moments of rage? What about the ethics of having a
gun around the house for young children to find and blow
their little playmates away with? With so much violence
directed against women just because they are women,
shouldn't women have an equalizer? Would a woman shoot
a date rapist? Doubtful. A stranger rapist? If she could get
to the gun, probably. Is not wanting to own guns women's
collusion in their own victimization, or is it high principle? Is
it principle women can't afford yet? Help, St. Sybil. If my
mind keeps spinning on this dilemma it may just spin right out
of the universe.
In honest confusion,
Maggie Mae
Dear Maggie Mae,
Like a good many of us here where I am, I come down squarely
on both sides of this issue; as you obviously do too.
In the long run, of course, which is more clearly visible to us
where I am, the world will never be peaceful until all people eschew
all weapons; and this is going to take a lot of unilateral, pacifist type
action. So get rid of your gun.
However, where you are, seeing the world narrowly - up
close and personal, so to speak, - you tend to feel pretty stupid and
scared if the time comes that you "need" a gun and on principle you
don't have orie. So get a gun?
Now, you realize that there truly are issues on which rational,
honorable, ethical people can disagree; and this might be one of
them. The best help I can give you is to suggest that you go to
Herland's discussion group on this very knotty topic on Tuesday,
April 21st, at 7 p.m., and thrash it out with other concerned and
good women. You certainly won't all agree at the end of the
evening, but you should be firmer and more comfortable in your
own decision.
Good luck,
Sybil

Quality Service With That Personal Touch™

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Ink Well Printing

FOR ALL YOUR PRINTING NEEDS
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Susan Brooks

2 Herland Voice , Apnl 1992

942-5693

Dear St. Sybil,
~ Where you are, are there cats and dogs? Do the dogs have
fleas?
Gotta have my pets, and prefer them flealess,
love,
Lotta Katz
Dear Lotta,
Not only are there all kinds of animals here, they don't have to
worry about traffic, or animal experimentation, or fur coats, or
furballs or any of those nasty things. There are fleas, sure, but the
fleas don't bite. They just form little circuses and hop around
entertaining everyone. So not to worry, you don't have to leave
Smokey or Creedy or Tigger behind . All in all, in fact, when we
manage to keep our eyes averted from the human condition, this is
a pretty nice place to spend an eternity.
Love to you and all your critters,
Sybil

P-FLAG PUBLICATIONS
Four new P-FLAG publications for families and friends oflesbians,
gay men and bisexuals have been published by Parents Flag
Federation; and are available on the research shelf at Herland .
"Supporting Our Gay Loved Ones: A Parents FLAG Perspective"
is a reproduction of the paper presented by national President
Paulette Goodman to the American Psychiatric Association in May
of 1991. The booklet discusses the common issues that affect gay
people and their families and the coming out process for parents.
The author described the history, objectives, and purposes of the
Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.
Three issue papers written by noted sexuality educator Ann
Thompson Cook provide the latest information and most
compelling arguments for recognizing the special needs of lesbian
and gay youth and providing them with a safe and nurturing
environment.
Issue Paper# l: "Who is Killing Whom?" explains why sexual
orientation is the primary motivation for 30% of all adolescents who
succeed in taking their own lives. This paper challenges the reader
to become part of the solution by 1) helping to cultivate an
affirming environment for lesbian and gay youth; and 2) assisting
these youth to actively develop coping skills to handle the painful
rejection of bigotry and discrimination.
Issue Paper # 2: "You Can Help" presents an overview of the
social context lesbian and gay youth experience as they grow up.
This piece provides the reader with a sense of the loneliness and
isolation experience by these adolescents attempting to reconcile
their sexual identity to society's norms.
Issue Paper # 3: "Youth and Homosexuality" discusses the
distinct issues of sexual identity, orientation, and behavior and the
implications of sexual diversity throughout childhood. The paper
makes recommendations for fundamental changes in the way
institutions care for, educate, and serve youth in order to prevent
serious physical and mental health consequences. A set of all four
papers may be ordered by sending $5 to Parents Flag, Department
RAYi, P. 0. Box 27605, Washington, DC 20038

PROFILE--Maria Mitchell, 1818 - 1889; A librarian by day and
astronomer by night, she was the first person using a telescope to
establish the orbit of a comet, later named in her honor. She was
the first woman to be elected to the American Academy of Arts and
Sciences, and was professor of Astronomy at Vassar, 1865 - 1888.

TO THE EDITOR
Dear Newsletter Committee
I would like to commend ycm on the March issue of "The
Herland Voice". I always look forward to receiving my issue and
usually read it cover to cover that evening.· This issue was no
exception.
I enjoyed the writings on the theme of role models. They made
me reflect on my own childhood and remember memorable women
in my own life. Thanks to all the women who made the effort to
share their experiences with me.
As always there were articles informing me of the political arena
in the gay world - information I could never find in Gaylord's
paper. It's also enjoyable to read other women's views - as
evidenced by the reviews, cartoon and satirical articles.
The thermometer for the building fund was just what I needed to
renew my commitment for a ~onthly donation.
There are exciting things happening in the women's movement
and you - the newsletter committee - are to be congratulated for
being such a stimulating part of them .
Great work! Thanks!
K . Rogers

•

A Southern Baptist Church in Raleigh, N.C has voted to approve
the blessing of a union of two gay men according to an AP report
published in the Daily Oklahoman on Saturday, March 14. Sixtyfour percent of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church members voted to
approve the union while 94% supported full church membership for
lesbians and gays .
W.W. T. M.C., Dept. W, Box 22
Walhalla, MI 49458 616-757-4766
Axis Dance Troupe
Lillian Allen
Ruth Barrett & Candlelight Concert
Barrett & Smith
BETTY
Heather Bishop
Bougainvillea
Carolyn Brandy
Sarah Campbell
Seraiah Carol
Casselberry & DuPree
Carol Chaikin
Sara Cytron
Dance Brigade
Dos Fallopia
Mrs. FUN
Judy Grahn
Susan Jackson
Nedra Johnson
Kitka
Living On The Edge
Nathie Marbury
MASA & Osaka Jazz Wome n
Lee Pui Ming
Rashida Oji
Vicki Randle
Toshi Reagon
Catherine Roma & Festival Chorus
Dorothy Scott
Peggy Seege r
Terry Sendgraff
Shikisha
Sharon Still & Festival Band
Linda Tillery & Gospel Choir
Topp Twi ns
Edwi na Lee Tyler
Urban Bush Women

Twanda -- Ready for Retreat!

RU?
May 15-17, 1992
Robbers Cave State Park
Hey Y'all,
Well, Twanda and I just finished putting together the agenda for
the Spring Retreat. Mark your calendars, get your checkbook, find
a pet/baby sitter and get ready -- its gonna' be good. You 'II want to
beatRobbersCaveStatePark(again)onMay 15, 16,and 17, 1992.
We will have dance lessons - complete with a dance Friday
evening to utilize your new skills.
Workshops will include
"Spirituality and Self Esteem"; "Song Writing", "American Sign
Language", "Goddess", "Creative Writing" , and more not yet
definite. Erica Wheeler will be in concert on Saturday evening. In
addition there are always sports, open mike, games, videos, food,
fun and women.
Meet new friends , get reacquainted with old friends and have
some fun.
For the old time Retreat folks, I'm planning to put together a
scrapbook so bring photos of past retreats. Help identify year and
season on some of mine and lets re/create some Retreat memories.
Clip and mail your registration today . If you are able to pay a
little extra to provide a scholarship please do so. We always have
a lot of requests and strongly desire to honor all. If you need a
scholarship, please send your registration and request early. When
scholarships are exhausted, we will need to request partial payment.
If you would like to share a ride, please include your phone number
so we can help work out details .
Oh! Twanda just reminded me, we will be having a raffle of items
generously donate by our consignors. There will be at least 12
different prizes you can win. Also, our stock of snack items will
include fresh roasted peanuts, fruit, juice, pop, mineral water and
lots more so bring your change jar.
As always the Retreat itself is one big group effort. When you
arrive, don't forget to sign up for small (or large) work details.
If you have any questions call Herland (521 -9696) and leave a
message for me and I will get back to you ASAP.
See you there,
L~ra
•

Suzanne Westenhoefer

Kare n Williams
Wo men's Philharmonic String Quintet

Hertand Voice, April 1992 3

No More Guns
(continued from page 1)

PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources , Inc., 2312 N.W. 39,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

I also feel the need to say, for honesty's sake, that if! would feel
a lot safer with a gun I would probably get one in a minute,
whatever the ethics of it. But unless a gun is accessible I can't see
how it can do much good; and ifl can't strap it around my .waist it's
not very accessible. If it is in a drawer or under the bed or up in a
closet it is most likely to be found and used by small children,
drunks, suicides and burglars. And I don't want to keep a gun
around for any of those folks. So it seems to me that both the
sensible choice and the ethical choice are the same, which makes it
easy: No more guns.

•

NEWSLETTER COMMIITEE: Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox,
Pat Reaves
CIRCULATION: 950

ADVERTISING RATES:
Business card $15.00; 114 page $35.00;
112 page $60.00; full page $100.00
The VOJc-e is offered as an open forum for community discourse.
Signed articles reflect the opinion of the ~~thor ar;id not necessarily
those ofHerland Sister Resources. Unsohc1tedarticles and letters to
the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer with full
name and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed
under a pseudonym.

Guns?

Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request.

by Peggy Johnson

The Voice is printed on recycled paper.

Guns? What do I know about guns? I took a class on how to
shoot a gun when I was about 17. We had gotten a .357 magnum.
I got my picture in the paper and everything.
Then a close friend stole the gun from my sister's apartment and
this caused a major rift in my family. He sold it for $30 so he could
go to camp. I think he got a deal (he got into more trouble later) so
that he had to join the Air Force when he was 17. They have some
really big guns in the Air Force.
When I got broken into a few years ago, a friend of mine loaned
me her gun for a few weeks because I was a little scared. I finally
realized that the gun was bothering me as much as anything so I
gave it back to her. The first few days I had it, it did lend some
comfort, I must admit.
A couple of years ago, I started thinking I might want to get a
gun and do some target practice. I was taking a class at the time -American Political Parties, Political Behavior. The professor made
an interesting comment that has stuck with me. He.bluntly said that
guns are for killing people and that target practice is just practice
toward that end.
Well, I haven't been able to bring myself to practice killing people
and I don't think anyone should have a gun who "doesn'tknow how
to use it," as the saying goes. There are other skills I'd rather learn.
Furthermore, the anti-waiting period argument is stupid. It
doesn't necessarily preclude one's ability to purchase a gun like the
right wing radicals profess. Why can't they use their energy (and
money) on some worthwhile cause like stamping out hunger?
Anyway, I'm not so sure about the background check and a possible
infringement of constitutional rights but I do favor a cooling off
period for people who make decisions to buy guns. Who know·s?
It might save a few self-inflicted head wounds (or whatever other
body parts people tend to blow away).
All of this comes from a kid who played army when I was young,
had cowboy holsters with six-shooter cap pistols, toy rifles, and my
favorite -- a little play derringer that would fit up a shirt sleeve.
Maybe if I lived in a war zone or in the wilderness, I'd have one,
I don't know. My neighborhood is on the fringe, after all . Plus,
who didn't cheer when Louise blew away that creep who was raping
Thelma? Or a year ago that 70 year-old woman who shot the guy
who broke into her house in Oklahoma City?
For me right now, though, I prefer the safety and comfort of
knowing that there is no gun under my pillow or in my drawer that
I may feel compelled to use in a moment of desperation. May you
all rest easy in your own choices and may your strength come from
inner peace instead of your peace coming through presumed outer
strength.
•

4 Hertand Voice, Apnl 1992

I Owe My Life to a Gun
(continued from page f)

With the flap closed he couldn't see me, had he, I'm sure in the
condition I was in he could've easily taken it from me. I had no idea
where we were at the time, I felt the truck stop and all I could think
of was what he had said about his friends. I later found out it was
only an intersection. When he stqpped, I first froze, then reacted,
I knew I couldn't take anymore. I pushed the flap back, pointed the
gun at his head and squeezed the trigger with the last of my
strength. The noise got people's attention and the police came. I
don't remember anything until I was being put in the ambulance.
The police called it self defense on the spot. I was taken to the
hospital for transfusions and emergency surgery. They were able to
salvage my reproductive organs, however, they told me they
doubted I could ever become pregnant.
For 15 years I blocked the memory of the incident. Then the
memories became overpowering along with guilt and shame. I
started having vivid flashbacks and entered treatment being
diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was then with a
lot of therapy I grew to realize how lucky I was to be alive. With the
development of my spirituality I came to believe it was far from
luck. Since that incident I have accomplished many things and
touched many Jives . I believe that gun gave me a choice I might not
otherwise have had to save my life and prevent this man from
harming others. I believe in unfair situations guns give us a choice
to protect ourselves. I own a gun today and I know that given a life
or death situation I could use it. I touch many young lives in my
work today and I strive to instill a respect for all life. Using a gun
should never be a choice taken lightly. With a gun at least I have a
choice.
•

THE ASTON MASSAGE

SPEC IALIZING IN SAFE TOUCH FOR INCEST SURVIVORS

NOW ALSO OFFERING MOVEMENT COACHING

RHONDA L. SMITH

Practitioner

(405) 942-4748
(405) 524-2958

Should Women Have Guns?

Why I Own A Gun

by Nancy Dwyer

by Deborah Fox

Since being approached to write an article regarding whether
women should have guns, I have gone through various stages of self
examination. Though I am personally opposed to guns, I can
likewise see their necessity in cases of self defense.
My opposition to guns can easily be negated by advocates of the
National Rifle Association. Not only is the right to bear arms
guaranteed in our Constitution, but "guns don't kill, people do".
How does this type of flippancy explain children killing children in
schools, the senseless "drive-by" shootings and women being gunned
down because they left abusive relationships? Something is very
wrong with our society wh_en a person's right to own guns becomes
more important than an innocent person's right to live!
As previously stated I do believe that there are times when, in
cases of self defense, owning a gun may become a necessity. Let me
relate my own story with the hope that this will clarify some of my
confusion on this issue. A few years ago I entertained the idea of
purchasing a gun because I heard that my life style and my
children's was being threatened. Upon learning this I planned how
I would go to a store, purchase a small handgun, take lessons to
develop accuracy and competence. Envisioning how I would await
this person entering my home, I would calmly take aim, shooting
first an appropriate part of his anatomy, then aiming form his heart
afterwards. He would never bother my children or myself again. (I
should mention that the "he" was not my ex.)
After having justified the purchase of a gun for protection I took
this one step further: why should I wait for the provocation? Why
not simply stalk him down, blow him away and be done with the
suspense? This change of tactic terrified me. I was willing to
murder someone over a rumor? Calling the police never crossed my
mind . Women with court ordered restraining papers and peace
bonds die expecting they will be protected.
After thinking about this topic further, I began to question, why
is "should women have guns?" even a question . "Should men have
guns?" is rarely asked in our society? Are women incapable of
handling guns? Surely this is not the case. Women have proven
themselves from the beginning of our country, through the world
wars, Vietnam and Desert Storm. This questioning of women
sounds like another one of our patriarchal double standards where
women and men are differentiated. Who would lose most if women
who are abused, battered and raped decided that they needed to
take up arms to stop the violence? What would happen if men
realized that women were not going to stand for the intimidation
any longer? Would the courts change the laws regarding violence
towards women or would the media run a campaign how "crazed"
women suffering from PMS are gunning down innocent men?
Each woman must make up her own mind about owning a gun.
She must become trained in its use, comfortable with the knowledge
that it will more than likely be her only source of protection and
more important, not be afraid to use it. I called one local company
that offers training for women at a cost of $50.00 per class. Classes
are 6 to 8 hours in length which is sufficient time to learn I was told .
As the spokesperson verified, more women are taking classes and
realizing the need for protection.
I still have not changed my opinion about guns and the violence
associated with them. My fantasy of searching out and destroying
my harasser confirmed for me that purchasing a gun at that time
was not wise. However, I strongly recommend that if women are
going to own guns they need to be trained to use them, care for
them properly and lock them away from curious children.
•

As Jong as guns are made, criminals will have them . White collar
crime is a result of greed and street crime is a result of oppression .
Crime is a gauge of a society's sociological health or lack of it.
Crime rates are in direct proportion to the greed, sexism, classism
and twisted/tabooed sexuality of this male-designed culture. Until
the root causes of social ills are remedied, drug abuse, murder, rape,
theft, and other malefactions will plague us. I refuse to be a sitting
duck for male violence.
Perhaps it's easier for me to justify owning a gun since I live so
remote and far from police protection. I'm on my own, literally,
and must defend myself alone. But cities are where most crimes are
committed and I can't see how a woman in a parking lot could
phone the police or fend off a rapist nonviolently. And having been
raped I feel justified in concealing a weapon upon my p<~rson ifl so
choose.
I am concerned about the dangers involved in keeping a gun; the
chance that a child could get hold of it and hurt her/himself or
someone else, that a thief might steal it and use it in the next crime
or on me, or that I might accidentally shoot myself. And that's why
I am a firm believer in gun education and training.
I used to be against the bearing of arms and I thought keeping a
gun would attract that kind of energy and the situations in which I
would need the gun. I used to be afraid of guns and didn't even like
touching them. But when a gun-toting, sly-eyed fella stopped by my
remote country house and looked me up and down, I realized how
vulnerable I was. So I bought a gun and learned to use it and care
for it proficiently. It hasn't attracted situations in which I'd need a
gun, on the contrary I feel confident and I don't worry when I'm
alone. I'm not afraid and therefore bad situations aren't on my
mind.
Another idea is that women are conditioned not to fight back
and maybe owning a gun gives a woman a sense of confidence about
fighting back. Some women learn karate, and that's good, but for
me I don't ever want to be that close to an assailant, though karate
is a good skill to have. I believe wholeheartedly in nonviolent
activism, but there you have power in numbers and the message is
broader.
I envision a world of woman's values; equality, peace, fairness,
respect for the earth, that's what my life is for. But until violent
crimes are rare and no one has access to guns, I think I'll keep
mine. I'd rather be a gun toter than a victim of violent crime. •

Mowing • Fertlllzlng • Trimming
• Light Hauling •

" We Are Insured"

Nancy
794-6884

Reiland Voice, Apnl 1992 5

A Different View
Judith Rycroft's Report from "Over There"
"Remember--Tonight, when you put out the cat , don't forge t the
empties!"
Empties? Wow! You know how sometimes a wo rd fl ashes an
image? I had this picture pop into my mind : eyes, empty eyes-drained by pain, numbed by loss, sucked by demands ... it shook me.
I glanced up at the TV in time to see a gleaming tr io of milk
bottles huddled on a doo rstep. Silly me! Switching my mind to
British mode and duty, I trudged downstairs with two bottles, no
cat .
The familiarity of watching the te n o'clock news had fooled my
subconscious. Instead of being across the States and ocean from
you, I was ready for OK TV's "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where
your children are?" I just wasn't tuned in to milk bottles .
Speaking of milk ... one problem with travel these days is that the
world has been semi-homogenized. Go thousands of miles any
direction and you 'II still be in the familiar country of MacDonalds,
Coke, and Levis. My tip, to get the most out of any journey, is to
play the game of "Spot the differences." Honing in on similarities
just seems to warp impressions--I mean, those hamburgers are never
as good, Coke never as cold, Levi's never as cheap, as they are "at
home."
H aving lived among the British for half my life, I slip too easily
into being unconscious of the little differences--milkdelivered to the
front door in glass pint bottles, filled clotheslines, airing cupboards,
totally-talk radio, house names, public footpaths, geysers (for hot
water), the language.
Looking around for things to write home about sort of tunes me
back in. I look at the ads as if they were Jewel-Osco flyers and
crack u p over "Do-Do for congestion and catarrh" or "Mr Brain's
Faggots--A great meal all 'round!" (A faggot , by the way, is a ball
of ground pig pieces rolled in crumbs and fried.)
It's the differences that make labels, right? Here, no matter how
hard I try and before I even open my mouth, I'm "A Foreigner ." I
remember being in a program at my girls' school in England when
I was 13. I thought no one would know I was different because we
were all in uniforms--white shirt, green tie, blazer, skirt, knickers
(cotton drawers), white socks. "Ah, you are the Ameddican gel," the
visiting dignitary said to me. I was wearing penny loafers, long
before loafers hit the Brit-shoe-scene.
The other day, I goofed again. I realized by the glances that I
was "wearing my la be]" --I had on ear muffs and carried no shopping
bag. Ah well, no problem . I suddenly noticed, in a row of
brownstone houses, one proudly sporting the name "Mount Olives ."
I'm sorry, but that name j ust hit my funny spot. I giggled, and I
could almost ~ my label being changed from "Foreigner" to
"Crazy Foreigner."
I love reading house names over here. Last year M. and I stayed
in a Bed & Breakfast place called "Barf' which is rather an
unfortunate name for a place that serves food, yes? It turned out
the Barf is a phonic rendering of the northern surname "Barugh,"
and the owner was very proud of the association and antiquity.
I shouldn' t laugh, anyway. My house here in W ales in Ael-yBryn, which means "bump on a hillside. " The name comes with the
hou se, a pairing sometimes hundreds of years old. In the past one's
address had no numbers--"Caltofts, Broad Street, Chipping
Sod bury" or "The Manor, Hoarwithy." Although this is still the
case in some villages and older parts of towns, the system is
obviously a postman's nightmare and has yielded to the modern
numbers game.
Probably my biggest pastime and pleasure here is the ra dio . D o
any of you remember when American radio offered excitement like

6 Reiland Voice , Apnl 1992

"Who knows wh at evil lurks in the minds of men? Only THE
SHADOW knows--heh , heh, heh, heh, heh" and soaps like ''Folger's
coffee, mountain grown, brings you the transcribed adventures of
JUDY AND JANE"? In that little box by my bed I have three
wave-lengt hs and umpteen stations fu ll of drama, documentaries,
analyses, how-to/where-to/wh y-to, serials, interviews, etc., etc.
halleluja h! Mind you, I'm having to do more dial-hopping since the
General Election was ca lled fo r April 9. Before the announcement
on M arch 10, news of the American primaries and British political
sq uabbling used up more than their fa ir share, in my opinion. Now
that the campaigns are ON, it's sometimes hard to find a program
that admits it's fiction .
I'm trying to listen to enough to stay informed , thinking that
maybe I'll do my Conscientious World Citizen bit and vote here in
April and in OK in November. In both cases mine will probably be
a protest vote--I protest that life is never as beautiful as politician
insist they can make it .
Basically, it's a two-horse field here: the conservatives (or
Tories) under John Major and the Labor [Labour] Party led by Neil
Kinnock are polling around 40% each. The final result may depend
on a deal with the Liberal Democrats and Paddy Ashdown, polling
around 14%. The Liberals got into hot water a while back when the
Press revealed that Paddy had an affair with his secretary five years
ago. Of course, comparisons between Ashdown and Clinton flew
around. I thought the differences were interesting--the respective
responses in effect were:
PADDY ASHDOWN--Yep, I done it; told my wife; put it behind
us; next question?
BILL CLINTON--Nope, not me; wife agrees; what evidence?
In trying to escape politics, I've found a fantastic station; "Fem
Radio, FM." The bad news is that the station is so far away that I
can't catch it unless I dangle myself from the attic window holding
a coat hanger. The good news is that EveryWoman's Radio is
attracting so much interest that many of their broadcasts are being
repeated on national stations. Maybe I'll be able to hear enough to
tell you abou t some FemDiff, next month .
Hey ... don't forget the empties!
•

WOMEN'S FRIENDSHIPS - A BOOK REVIEW
by Jo Soske
Susan Koppleman has done it again. Her latest book Women s
Friendships is a collection of brilliant and beautiful short stories on
the all-too-often-ignored subject of women's relationships with one
another. It includes stories written from 1846 to 1991. The
representation of authors and perspectives is brilliant. It includes
such writers as Edith Wharton, Alice Childress, Paula Gunn Allen,
and Leslea Newman. The headnotes are done by a variety of
feminist scholars including our own Abigail Keegan . In addition to
being a rich and diverse literary collection, the book contains an
introduction and conclusion which every woman should treat
herself to the pleasure of reading. Susan Koppleman paints a warm
and enduring picture with words. Such a picture could only spring
from the heart of a woman who loves women.
Womens Friendships was published by the University of
Oklahoma Press in both hard cover and soft cover. It can be
ordered by Herland. Every woman who has ever had a friend ,
hopes to have one, or plans to be one should consider this book a
m~t.
•

MOTHER'S DAY RALLY
CHILDREN'S RIGHTS

FOR

A coalition of concerned groups is sponsoring a March for the
Children on May 10, 1992, followed by a Lobby Day on May 11.
They are calling for legislation to protect child ren and the rights to
which they are entitled under the Constitution of the USA. There
are thousands of sexual abuse cases going on all over this country,
where judges ordered children to visit and even live with their
abusers.
The Rally will take place on the U .S. Capitol steps in
Washington DC from 1 - 3 pm, May 10. For more information
contact Kitty Kruse, (310) 354-7396.
The Coalition is also asking people to support a Bill of Rights for
Child Victims of Sexual Abuse. The National Petition for Sexually
Abused Children's Rights will be presented to the U.S. Congress
during the Mother's Day Rally for Children's R ights; May 10/l 1,
1992. If you would like to be included on this petition, you can
come in to Herland to sign, or sign and send in the short form below
to Herland, 2312 NW 39th, OKC 73112.

4. HOLDING ADULTS ACCOUNTABLE: Each child victim should
have the legal right to hold any adult accountable for abusing them,
participating in tha t abuse or for not protecting them from further abuse.
This includes the legal right to file lawsuits against doctors, lawyer, GALs,
and any other child protective service or government agency.
5. BURDEN OF PROOF REGARDING VISITATION SHIFTS TO
ABUSER: Once abuse has been demonstrated to the degree to warrant

protection, the abuser should assume the burden of proof necessary to show
that visitation would be good for the child, as opposed to the current system
in which the protecting parent must show that visitation with the abuser
would be bad for the child .

6. TH E RIGHT TO CONFRONT THEIR ABUSER BUT WITH
PROT ECTION: Each child victim should have the right to testify with
permission from their therapist, so they can feel empowered to confront their
abuser with the truth of the assault. However, the Courts, prosecutors, and
GALs will be innovative via the use of TV and media technology to protect
the child from further abuse and threats within the courtroom.

7. THE SAME EXPECTATION OF ADULT VICTIMS TO HAVE
LAWBREAK.ER PUNISHED: Child victims should have the same rights
of adult victims to have lawbreakers punished, and not to have their
sentences be less because the victim was a child or a family member.

A BILL OF RIGHTS FOR CHILD VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE
1. TRAINED JUDGES AND MASTERS: Each child victim would be
entitled to have his or her case heard by a judge trained and educated about
child development and the full effects of child sexual abuse. This includes
Family, Juvenile and Criminal Courts.

TRAINED GUARDIAN AD LITEMS - BOTH LAY AND
LA WYER: Each child victim should be entitled to a lay GAL who would

8. COMPETENT EVALUATION ANDTESTIMONY: Child victims
should be entitled to examination by doctors and experts who have extensive
experience in child development and child sexual abuse issues.
9. CONSTITUTIONAL R IGHTS FOR EACH CHILD: Children
should have the same legal and constitutional rights that adults have.

2.

be that child's guardian angel advocate and oversee the work of the system
including the lawyer GAL representing the child. The lawyer GAL should
be trained and educated, and limited in their work to being only a child
advocate, not representing the parents or other adult offenders.

··································································································································•
NATIONAL PETITION FOR SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILDREN'S RIGHTS
I support the Bill of Rights for child Victims of Sexual Abuse.
NAME

3. CHILD PROTECTION ISSUES SEPARATED FROM DIVORCE
COURT: Each child victim should be entitled to have legal matters
pertaining to their protection heard by a different judge than the one hearing
the divorce case. The child will not be a pawn in a property dispute.

'vbLIJM'/l:ER.s fOR

"DliY

Herland Voice, Apnl 1992 7

Many thanks to the women (& 2 puppies, May & Zev), who helped at the "newsletter party" putt ing our March newsletter together for mailing:
Charlotte, Ginger, Karen, Kathy, Ketta, Linda, Margaret, Michelle, Mary, Pat & Pat, Peggy, Rhond a, Rita and Shirley. We figure it takes fifteen to
twenty woman-hours for these mailings, so this one not only was fun as usua l but went quickly, too.
Our newsletter party in April, preparing the May issue for mailing, will be Tuesday, April 28. 1992, at Berland, beginning at 6:00 p.m. Hope to see
you there.

Vegetarians of OKC, a group committed to promoting vegetarianism in the community, are planning a Vegetarian Camp-Out for
April 24 - 26 at Red Rock Canyon. There will be workshops including Rappelling, Gardening, Cooking Classes, Hiking and more; plus
of course lots of good food, fun and friendship. For more information call LaDonna at 558-6191 (digital pager).

Earth Day in the Park, Saturday, April 18, from 1 - 5 p.m., in Will Rogers Park Amphitheater. Live music, healthy foods, booths,
tables, etc. Bring your frisbees, etc.

QUOT ABLE .. . A male survivor of rape had the following to say in an article in the Spring '92 issue of On The Issues, a magazine
available for reading at Herland: " ... while many women and some men are victimized by rape, all women are oppressed by it, and any
victimization of women occurs in a context of oppression most men simply do not understand. Rape for men is usually a bizarre,
outrageous tear in the fabric of reality. For women, rape is often a confirmation of relative powerlessness, of men's contempt for
women, and its trauma is reinforced every day in a thousand obvious and subtle ways." Sometimes when we get so tired speaking out
for ourselves, it is nice to have someone else do it for us; thanks .

The 14th National Lesbian and Gay Health Conference and 10th Annual AIDS Forum will be held July 8- 12, 1992 in Los
Angles. The health conference features a full-day institute on lesbian health and a 2 1/2 hour update on "Lesbians and Cancer". For
registration information and a program brochure contact Daniel E. Reichard at 202-994-4285.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: Wanted for anthology. FROM WEDDED WIFE TO LESBIAN LIFE: Stories of Formerly Married
Lesbians. Looking for writing which contrasts the experience of living within the tradition of heterosexual marriage to that of living
outside of convention, as a lesbian. Will accept personal narratives, short autobiographical fiction, and some poetry. Contributions
encouraged from both established and first-time writers. Before-and-after photos also sought. Send with S.A.S.E. to: Deborah
Abbott/Ellen Farmer, editors; 1515 Capitola Road , Suite E, Santa Cruz, CA 95062. (Correspondence also welcome). Deadline: July
15, 1992.

Herland Spring Retreat
May 15 - 17, 1992
Robber's Cave State Park
Single Person's
Annual Income

Retreat Preregistration fee

under $ 6,500
$ 6,500-$13,250
$13,250-$19,500
over $19,500

$15
$25
$35
$40

Household Annual Income
(2 or more persons)
under $13,300
$1 3,300-$18,000
$18,000-$26,000
over $26,000

Please choose the registration fee most appropriate for you based on these suggested income
guidelines. Complete and return the preregistration form to Herland, 23 12 N.W. 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112.

HSR SPRING RETREAT REGISTRATION
NAME: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ __

PHONE: ~--------~

ADDRESS: _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ __ _ __ __ _ __ __ __ _ _ __
CITY: _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _
STATE _ _ _ _ ___ ZIP _ _ _ _ _ __
Registration fee enclosed: D $15 D $25
D I'm enclosing an additional$
D I need a scholarship to attend.
D I wou ld like to ride with someone.
D I can help provide rides to the retreat.

D $35 D $40
to provide retreat scholarships.

Return to:
HERLAND
2312 N.W. 39th
Oklahoma City, OK 73112



APRIL, 1992

I Owe My Life to a Gun

No More Guns

by Laura Choate

by Margaret Cox

When I was asked to write an article on guns I felt rather uneasy
about sharing this. I hope it will ultimately convey a positive
message. I owe my life to a gun, unfortunately, as with most
circumstances with guns involved it meant taking a life. I have a
great respect for life and it took many years to come to terms with
the incident.
I was 12 years old and had just run away from my abusive home.
As with most runaways of the 70's I began hitchhiking. I was
picked up by a trucker on his way to New Mexico. After several
hours of riding and talking the driver pulled off to an isolated area
and attacked me. He beat me unconscious, raped me with a knife,
because I was too small for him, then he alternately raped and
sodomized me. I remember regaining consciousness, bleeding, in
pain and terrified. He was driving again, my clothes were gone and
I couldn't find my glasses to see anything with. As I fumbled
around in the sleeper compartment, he grabbed me and pulled me
towards the driver seat with him. He said he was going to take me
to some friends of his so they could enjoy me too, then he threw me
back against the wall of the sleeper where I lost consciousness again,
believing I was going to die soon.
I woke to daylight. Again I began attempting to find my glasses
in the sleeper, I found them, but only after finding his gun he had
tucked under the mattress. I had no idea how to use it, I just sat
back there against the wall bleeding and in pain pointing it in his
direction. I prayed that it would keep him from killing me.
(continued on page 4)

They wouldn't let me wear my sixshooters to school, but I wore
them everywhere else, slung low on my hips, cool and dangerous,
ready to draw. They were handsome, silver, 'ivory' handled, with
a good substantial heft and a solid fit in the hand. My gun belt was
intricately tooled, nearly as gorgeous as my jeans belt, which was
also tooled, and studded with colored stones, a sheathed Bowie
knife, a real one, strapped to it. I was cool, I was together, I was
tough; I was seven something.
And of course my guns were cap pistols. Those days are long
gone now, as are the days of the frontier West I was trying to relive,
and I don't want a gun anymore.
It seems to me that we will never have a world without guns until
we make a world without guns; until we outlaw them all, stop
making them and owning them, until we have giant meltdowns of
turned-in and confiscated guns in town squares each year until every
gun out there is transformed into a monument to peace. And
therefore I think that the ethical decision, at least for most of us,
should be clear and simple: hasten the day, no more guns.
I need to voice an exception before I go any further; there are a
lot of people, a lot of women especially, who have bee~ not only
oppressed by violence, as all women are., but badly hurt by it; who
have had the fear become monstrous reality. If they want a gun, if
a gun restores a sense of safety or security or empowerment to them,
who is to say they are wrong? They deserve to be the last to give up
their weapons. (continued on page 4)

SUPPORT NEEDED FOR CUSTODY BATTLE
For millions of gay and lesbian parents and potential parents, the threat of losing their children in custody battles with heterosexual
ex-partners is painfully real. In most cases, fear, lack of financial resources, and lack of legal precedent force the parents to either give
up the children, give up the partner, or bargain away their personal rights to avoid losses in lengthy court cases. But there is a local
lesbian couple who is fighting back, and they need our immediate help and financial support.
A hearing has been set in the District Court of Cleveland County requesting a change in primary custody of two children from the
mother to the father because the mother is a lesbian, has a live-in-partner, and wants to move the family out of the state. The father has
known about the sexual orientation of the mother for years, but is now using this issue to block the out-of-state move because it is such
a potentially powerful weapon.
Though the mother and her partner have provided a safe, healthy, happy, and loving home for the children, the judge may still award
custody to the father, restrict visitation, and/or force the partner to leave the home. If any of these happen, the couple will appeal to
the Oklahoma Supreme Court. And, if the couple wins, it is possible that the father may also appeal. This means that either way, the
couple must be financially ready to handle the estimated twenty-thousand dollar cost of the battle.
A decision at the Supreme Court level affects us all. Help tis stand with this couple by donating money now for legal costs. Their
court date is less than a month away, and they desperately need funds for witnesses, attorney fees, court costs, transcripts, and
depositions.
Send a donation today to Herland, c/o Legal Defense Fund, 2312 NW 39th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112. Let
us stand with these women in this very important case.

VOLUME 9 NUMBER 4

•

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

ST. SYBIL
Sybil Ludington, Matron Saint of the forgotten woman,
occasionally contributes to this space.
Dear St. Sybil,
So what do you think about guns? In this violent world are
women being foolish when they refuse to own guns, or are
they behaving responsibly in trying to create a better world by
living it as they would wish it to he? Should a self-respecting
woman own a gun to protect what is ultimately her only
possession, her life? Or does the fact that most women are
killed by lovers or husbands mean that owning a gun would
make her more likely to he a quick kill some day, because it
would make it 100% certain that there would he a gun around
during moments of rage? What about the ethics of having a
gun around the house for young children to find and blow
their little playmates away with? With so much violence
directed against women just because they are women,
shouldn't women have an equalizer? Would a woman shoot
a date rapist? Doubtful. A stranger rapist? If she could get
to the gun, probably. Is not wanting to own guns women's
collusion in their own victimization, or is it high principle? Is
it principle women can't afford yet? Help, St. Sybil. If my
mind keeps spinning on this dilemma it may just spin right out
of the universe.
In honest confusion,
Maggie Mae
Dear Maggie Mae,
Like a good many of us here where I am, I come down squarely
on both sides of this issue; as you obviously do too.
In the long run, of course, which is more clearly visible to us
where I am, the world will never be peaceful until all people eschew
all weapons; and this is going to take a lot of unilateral, pacifist type
action. So get rid of your gun.
However, where you are, seeing the world narrowly - up
close and personal, so to speak, - you tend to feel pretty stupid and
scared if the time comes that you "need" a gun and on principle you
don't have orie. So get a gun?
Now, you realize that there truly are issues on which rational,
honorable, ethical people can disagree; and this might be one of
them. The best help I can give you is to suggest that you go to
Herland's discussion group on this very knotty topic on Tuesday,
April 21st, at 7 p.m., and thrash it out with other concerned and
good women. You certainly won't all agree at the end of the
evening, but you should be firmer and more comfortable in your
own decision.
Good luck,
Sybil

Quality Service With That Personal Touch™

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2 Herland Voice , Apnl 1992

942-5693

Dear St. Sybil,
~ Where you are, are there cats and dogs? Do the dogs have
fleas?
Gotta have my pets, and prefer them flealess,
love,
Lotta Katz
Dear Lotta,
Not only are there all kinds of animals here, they don't have to
worry about traffic, or animal experimentation, or fur coats, or
furballs or any of those nasty things. There are fleas, sure, but the
fleas don't bite. They just form little circuses and hop around
entertaining everyone. So not to worry, you don't have to leave
Smokey or Creedy or Tigger behind . All in all, in fact, when we
manage to keep our eyes averted from the human condition, this is
a pretty nice place to spend an eternity.
Love to you and all your critters,
Sybil

P-FLAG PUBLICATIONS
Four new P-FLAG publications for families and friends oflesbians,
gay men and bisexuals have been published by Parents Flag
Federation; and are available on the research shelf at Herland .
"Supporting Our Gay Loved Ones: A Parents FLAG Perspective"
is a reproduction of the paper presented by national President
Paulette Goodman to the American Psychiatric Association in May
of 1991. The booklet discusses the common issues that affect gay
people and their families and the coming out process for parents.
The author described the history, objectives, and purposes of the
Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.
Three issue papers written by noted sexuality educator Ann
Thompson Cook provide the latest information and most
compelling arguments for recognizing the special needs of lesbian
and gay youth and providing them with a safe and nurturing
environment.
Issue Paper# l: "Who is Killing Whom?" explains why sexual
orientation is the primary motivation for 30% of all adolescents who
succeed in taking their own lives. This paper challenges the reader
to become part of the solution by 1) helping to cultivate an
affirming environment for lesbian and gay youth; and 2) assisting
these youth to actively develop coping skills to handle the painful
rejection of bigotry and discrimination.
Issue Paper # 2: "You Can Help" presents an overview of the
social context lesbian and gay youth experience as they grow up.
This piece provides the reader with a sense of the loneliness and
isolation experience by these adolescents attempting to reconcile
their sexual identity to society's norms.
Issue Paper # 3: "Youth and Homosexuality" discusses the
distinct issues of sexual identity, orientation, and behavior and the
implications of sexual diversity throughout childhood. The paper
makes recommendations for fundamental changes in the way
institutions care for, educate, and serve youth in order to prevent
serious physical and mental health consequences. A set of all four
papers may be ordered by sending $5 to Parents Flag, Department
RAYi, P. 0. Box 27605, Washington, DC 20038

PROFILE--Maria Mitchell, 1818 - 1889; A librarian by day and
astronomer by night, she was the first person using a telescope to
establish the orbit of a comet, later named in her honor. She was
the first woman to be elected to the American Academy of Arts and
Sciences, and was professor of Astronomy at Vassar, 1865 - 1888.

TO THE EDITOR
Dear Newsletter Committee
I would like to commend ycm on the March issue of "The
Herland Voice". I always look forward to receiving my issue and
usually read it cover to cover that evening.· This issue was no
exception.
I enjoyed the writings on the theme of role models. They made
me reflect on my own childhood and remember memorable women
in my own life. Thanks to all the women who made the effort to
share their experiences with me.
As always there were articles informing me of the political arena
in the gay world - information I could never find in Gaylord's
paper. It's also enjoyable to read other women's views - as
evidenced by the reviews, cartoon and satirical articles.
The thermometer for the building fund was just what I needed to
renew my commitment for a ~onthly donation.
There are exciting things happening in the women's movement
and you - the newsletter committee - are to be congratulated for
being such a stimulating part of them .
Great work! Thanks!
K . Rogers

•

A Southern Baptist Church in Raleigh, N.C has voted to approve
the blessing of a union of two gay men according to an AP report
published in the Daily Oklahoman on Saturday, March 14. Sixtyfour percent of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church members voted to
approve the union while 94% supported full church membership for
lesbians and gays .
W.W. T. M.C., Dept. W, Box 22
Walhalla, MI 49458 616-757-4766
Axis Dance Troupe
Lillian Allen
Ruth Barrett & Candlelight Concert
Barrett & Smith
BETTY
Heather Bishop
Bougainvillea
Carolyn Brandy
Sarah Campbell
Seraiah Carol
Casselberry & DuPree
Carol Chaikin
Sara Cytron
Dance Brigade
Dos Fallopia
Mrs. FUN
Judy Grahn
Susan Jackson
Nedra Johnson
Kitka
Living On The Edge
Nathie Marbury
MASA & Osaka Jazz Wome n
Lee Pui Ming
Rashida Oji
Vicki Randle
Toshi Reagon
Catherine Roma & Festival Chorus
Dorothy Scott
Peggy Seege r
Terry Sendgraff
Shikisha
Sharon Still & Festival Band
Linda Tillery & Gospel Choir
Topp Twi ns
Edwi na Lee Tyler
Urban Bush Women

Twanda -- Ready for Retreat!

RU?
May 15-17, 1992
Robbers Cave State Park
Hey Y'all,
Well, Twanda and I just finished putting together the agenda for
the Spring Retreat. Mark your calendars, get your checkbook, find
a pet/baby sitter and get ready -- its gonna' be good. You 'II want to
beatRobbersCaveStatePark(again)onMay 15, 16,and 17, 1992.
We will have dance lessons - complete with a dance Friday
evening to utilize your new skills.
Workshops will include
"Spirituality and Self Esteem"; "Song Writing", "American Sign
Language", "Goddess", "Creative Writing" , and more not yet
definite. Erica Wheeler will be in concert on Saturday evening. In
addition there are always sports, open mike, games, videos, food,
fun and women.
Meet new friends , get reacquainted with old friends and have
some fun.
For the old time Retreat folks, I'm planning to put together a
scrapbook so bring photos of past retreats. Help identify year and
season on some of mine and lets re/create some Retreat memories.
Clip and mail your registration today . If you are able to pay a
little extra to provide a scholarship please do so. We always have
a lot of requests and strongly desire to honor all. If you need a
scholarship, please send your registration and request early. When
scholarships are exhausted, we will need to request partial payment.
If you would like to share a ride, please include your phone number
so we can help work out details .
Oh! Twanda just reminded me, we will be having a raffle of items
generously donate by our consignors. There will be at least 12
different prizes you can win. Also, our stock of snack items will
include fresh roasted peanuts, fruit, juice, pop, mineral water and
lots more so bring your change jar.
As always the Retreat itself is one big group effort. When you
arrive, don't forget to sign up for small (or large) work details.
If you have any questions call Herland (521 -9696) and leave a
message for me and I will get back to you ASAP.
See you there,
L~ra
•

Suzanne Westenhoefer

Kare n Williams
Wo men's Philharmonic String Quintet

Hertand Voice, April 1992 3

No More Guns
(continued from page 1)

PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources , Inc., 2312 N.W. 39,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

I also feel the need to say, for honesty's sake, that if! would feel
a lot safer with a gun I would probably get one in a minute,
whatever the ethics of it. But unless a gun is accessible I can't see
how it can do much good; and ifl can't strap it around my .waist it's
not very accessible. If it is in a drawer or under the bed or up in a
closet it is most likely to be found and used by small children,
drunks, suicides and burglars. And I don't want to keep a gun
around for any of those folks. So it seems to me that both the
sensible choice and the ethical choice are the same, which makes it
easy: No more guns.

•

NEWSLETTER COMMIITEE: Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox,
Pat Reaves
CIRCULATION: 950

ADVERTISING RATES:
Business card $15.00; 114 page $35.00;
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The VOJc-e is offered as an open forum for community discourse.
Signed articles reflect the opinion of the ~~thor ar;id not necessarily
those ofHerland Sister Resources. Unsohc1tedarticles and letters to
the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer with full
name and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed
under a pseudonym.

Guns?

Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request.

by Peggy Johnson

The Voice is printed on recycled paper.

Guns? What do I know about guns? I took a class on how to
shoot a gun when I was about 17. We had gotten a .357 magnum.
I got my picture in the paper and everything.
Then a close friend stole the gun from my sister's apartment and
this caused a major rift in my family. He sold it for $30 so he could
go to camp. I think he got a deal (he got into more trouble later) so
that he had to join the Air Force when he was 17. They have some
really big guns in the Air Force.
When I got broken into a few years ago, a friend of mine loaned
me her gun for a few weeks because I was a little scared. I finally
realized that the gun was bothering me as much as anything so I
gave it back to her. The first few days I had it, it did lend some
comfort, I must admit.
A couple of years ago, I started thinking I might want to get a
gun and do some target practice. I was taking a class at the time -American Political Parties, Political Behavior. The professor made
an interesting comment that has stuck with me. He.bluntly said that
guns are for killing people and that target practice is just practice
toward that end.
Well, I haven't been able to bring myself to practice killing people
and I don't think anyone should have a gun who "doesn'tknow how
to use it," as the saying goes. There are other skills I'd rather learn.
Furthermore, the anti-waiting period argument is stupid. It
doesn't necessarily preclude one's ability to purchase a gun like the
right wing radicals profess. Why can't they use their energy (and
money) on some worthwhile cause like stamping out hunger?
Anyway, I'm not so sure about the background check and a possible
infringement of constitutional rights but I do favor a cooling off
period for people who make decisions to buy guns. Who know·s?
It might save a few self-inflicted head wounds (or whatever other
body parts people tend to blow away).
All of this comes from a kid who played army when I was young,
had cowboy holsters with six-shooter cap pistols, toy rifles, and my
favorite -- a little play derringer that would fit up a shirt sleeve.
Maybe if I lived in a war zone or in the wilderness, I'd have one,
I don't know. My neighborhood is on the fringe, after all . Plus,
who didn't cheer when Louise blew away that creep who was raping
Thelma? Or a year ago that 70 year-old woman who shot the guy
who broke into her house in Oklahoma City?
For me right now, though, I prefer the safety and comfort of
knowing that there is no gun under my pillow or in my drawer that
I may feel compelled to use in a moment of desperation. May you
all rest easy in your own choices and may your strength come from
inner peace instead of your peace coming through presumed outer
strength.
•

4 Hertand Voice, Apnl 1992

I Owe My Life to a Gun
(continued from page f)

With the flap closed he couldn't see me, had he, I'm sure in the
condition I was in he could've easily taken it from me. I had no idea
where we were at the time, I felt the truck stop and all I could think
of was what he had said about his friends. I later found out it was
only an intersection. When he stqpped, I first froze, then reacted,
I knew I couldn't take anymore. I pushed the flap back, pointed the
gun at his head and squeezed the trigger with the last of my
strength. The noise got people's attention and the police came. I
don't remember anything until I was being put in the ambulance.
The police called it self defense on the spot. I was taken to the
hospital for transfusions and emergency surgery. They were able to
salvage my reproductive organs, however, they told me they
doubted I could ever become pregnant.
For 15 years I blocked the memory of the incident. Then the
memories became overpowering along with guilt and shame. I
started having vivid flashbacks and entered treatment being
diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was then with a
lot of therapy I grew to realize how lucky I was to be alive. With the
development of my spirituality I came to believe it was far from
luck. Since that incident I have accomplished many things and
touched many Jives . I believe that gun gave me a choice I might not
otherwise have had to save my life and prevent this man from
harming others. I believe in unfair situations guns give us a choice
to protect ourselves. I own a gun today and I know that given a life
or death situation I could use it. I touch many young lives in my
work today and I strive to instill a respect for all life. Using a gun
should never be a choice taken lightly. With a gun at least I have a
choice.
•

THE ASTON MASSAGE

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RHONDA L. SMITH

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Should Women Have Guns?

Why I Own A Gun

by Nancy Dwyer

by Deborah Fox

Since being approached to write an article regarding whether
women should have guns, I have gone through various stages of self
examination. Though I am personally opposed to guns, I can
likewise see their necessity in cases of self defense.
My opposition to guns can easily be negated by advocates of the
National Rifle Association. Not only is the right to bear arms
guaranteed in our Constitution, but "guns don't kill, people do".
How does this type of flippancy explain children killing children in
schools, the senseless "drive-by" shootings and women being gunned
down because they left abusive relationships? Something is very
wrong with our society wh_en a person's right to own guns becomes
more important than an innocent person's right to live!
As previously stated I do believe that there are times when, in
cases of self defense, owning a gun may become a necessity. Let me
relate my own story with the hope that this will clarify some of my
confusion on this issue. A few years ago I entertained the idea of
purchasing a gun because I heard that my life style and my
children's was being threatened. Upon learning this I planned how
I would go to a store, purchase a small handgun, take lessons to
develop accuracy and competence. Envisioning how I would await
this person entering my home, I would calmly take aim, shooting
first an appropriate part of his anatomy, then aiming form his heart
afterwards. He would never bother my children or myself again. (I
should mention that the "he" was not my ex.)
After having justified the purchase of a gun for protection I took
this one step further: why should I wait for the provocation? Why
not simply stalk him down, blow him away and be done with the
suspense? This change of tactic terrified me. I was willing to
murder someone over a rumor? Calling the police never crossed my
mind . Women with court ordered restraining papers and peace
bonds die expecting they will be protected.
After thinking about this topic further, I began to question, why
is "should women have guns?" even a question . "Should men have
guns?" is rarely asked in our society? Are women incapable of
handling guns? Surely this is not the case. Women have proven
themselves from the beginning of our country, through the world
wars, Vietnam and Desert Storm. This questioning of women
sounds like another one of our patriarchal double standards where
women and men are differentiated. Who would lose most if women
who are abused, battered and raped decided that they needed to
take up arms to stop the violence? What would happen if men
realized that women were not going to stand for the intimidation
any longer? Would the courts change the laws regarding violence
towards women or would the media run a campaign how "crazed"
women suffering from PMS are gunning down innocent men?
Each woman must make up her own mind about owning a gun.
She must become trained in its use, comfortable with the knowledge
that it will more than likely be her only source of protection and
more important, not be afraid to use it. I called one local company
that offers training for women at a cost of $50.00 per class. Classes
are 6 to 8 hours in length which is sufficient time to learn I was told .
As the spokesperson verified, more women are taking classes and
realizing the need for protection.
I still have not changed my opinion about guns and the violence
associated with them. My fantasy of searching out and destroying
my harasser confirmed for me that purchasing a gun at that time
was not wise. However, I strongly recommend that if women are
going to own guns they need to be trained to use them, care for
them properly and lock them away from curious children.
•

As Jong as guns are made, criminals will have them . White collar
crime is a result of greed and street crime is a result of oppression .
Crime is a gauge of a society's sociological health or lack of it.
Crime rates are in direct proportion to the greed, sexism, classism
and twisted/tabooed sexuality of this male-designed culture. Until
the root causes of social ills are remedied, drug abuse, murder, rape,
theft, and other malefactions will plague us. I refuse to be a sitting
duck for male violence.
Perhaps it's easier for me to justify owning a gun since I live so
remote and far from police protection. I'm on my own, literally,
and must defend myself alone. But cities are where most crimes are
committed and I can't see how a woman in a parking lot could
phone the police or fend off a rapist nonviolently. And having been
raped I feel justified in concealing a weapon upon my p<~rson ifl so
choose.
I am concerned about the dangers involved in keeping a gun; the
chance that a child could get hold of it and hurt her/himself or
someone else, that a thief might steal it and use it in the next crime
or on me, or that I might accidentally shoot myself. And that's why
I am a firm believer in gun education and training.
I used to be against the bearing of arms and I thought keeping a
gun would attract that kind of energy and the situations in which I
would need the gun. I used to be afraid of guns and didn't even like
touching them. But when a gun-toting, sly-eyed fella stopped by my
remote country house and looked me up and down, I realized how
vulnerable I was. So I bought a gun and learned to use it and care
for it proficiently. It hasn't attracted situations in which I'd need a
gun, on the contrary I feel confident and I don't worry when I'm
alone. I'm not afraid and therefore bad situations aren't on my
mind.
Another idea is that women are conditioned not to fight back
and maybe owning a gun gives a woman a sense of confidence about
fighting back. Some women learn karate, and that's good, but for
me I don't ever want to be that close to an assailant, though karate
is a good skill to have. I believe wholeheartedly in nonviolent
activism, but there you have power in numbers and the message is
broader.
I envision a world of woman's values; equality, peace, fairness,
respect for the earth, that's what my life is for. But until violent
crimes are rare and no one has access to guns, I think I'll keep
mine. I'd rather be a gun toter than a victim of violent crime. •

Mowing • Fertlllzlng • Trimming
• Light Hauling •

" We Are Insured"

Nancy
794-6884

Reiland Voice, Apnl 1992 5

A Different View
Judith Rycroft's Report from "Over There"
"Remember--Tonight, when you put out the cat , don't forge t the
empties!"
Empties? Wow! You know how sometimes a wo rd fl ashes an
image? I had this picture pop into my mind : eyes, empty eyes-drained by pain, numbed by loss, sucked by demands ... it shook me.
I glanced up at the TV in time to see a gleaming tr io of milk
bottles huddled on a doo rstep. Silly me! Switching my mind to
British mode and duty, I trudged downstairs with two bottles, no
cat .
The familiarity of watching the te n o'clock news had fooled my
subconscious. Instead of being across the States and ocean from
you, I was ready for OK TV's "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where
your children are?" I just wasn't tuned in to milk bottles .
Speaking of milk ... one problem with travel these days is that the
world has been semi-homogenized. Go thousands of miles any
direction and you 'II still be in the familiar country of MacDonalds,
Coke, and Levis. My tip, to get the most out of any journey, is to
play the game of "Spot the differences." Honing in on similarities
just seems to warp impressions--I mean, those hamburgers are never
as good, Coke never as cold, Levi's never as cheap, as they are "at
home."
H aving lived among the British for half my life, I slip too easily
into being unconscious of the little differences--milkdelivered to the
front door in glass pint bottles, filled clotheslines, airing cupboards,
totally-talk radio, house names, public footpaths, geysers (for hot
water), the language.
Looking around for things to write home about sort of tunes me
back in. I look at the ads as if they were Jewel-Osco flyers and
crack u p over "Do-Do for congestion and catarrh" or "Mr Brain's
Faggots--A great meal all 'round!" (A faggot , by the way, is a ball
of ground pig pieces rolled in crumbs and fried.)
It's the differences that make labels, right? Here, no matter how
hard I try and before I even open my mouth, I'm "A Foreigner ." I
remember being in a program at my girls' school in England when
I was 13. I thought no one would know I was different because we
were all in uniforms--white shirt, green tie, blazer, skirt, knickers
(cotton drawers), white socks. "Ah, you are the Ameddican gel," the
visiting dignitary said to me. I was wearing penny loafers, long
before loafers hit the Brit-shoe-scene.
The other day, I goofed again. I realized by the glances that I
was "wearing my la be]" --I had on ear muffs and carried no shopping
bag. Ah well, no problem . I suddenly noticed, in a row of
brownstone houses, one proudly sporting the name "Mount Olives ."
I'm sorry, but that name j ust hit my funny spot. I giggled, and I
could almost ~ my label being changed from "Foreigner" to
"Crazy Foreigner."
I love reading house names over here. Last year M. and I stayed
in a Bed & Breakfast place called "Barf' which is rather an
unfortunate name for a place that serves food, yes? It turned out
the Barf is a phonic rendering of the northern surname "Barugh,"
and the owner was very proud of the association and antiquity.
I shouldn' t laugh, anyway. My house here in W ales in Ael-yBryn, which means "bump on a hillside. " The name comes with the
hou se, a pairing sometimes hundreds of years old. In the past one's
address had no numbers--"Caltofts, Broad Street, Chipping
Sod bury" or "The Manor, Hoarwithy." Although this is still the
case in some villages and older parts of towns, the system is
obviously a postman's nightmare and has yielded to the modern
numbers game.
Probably my biggest pastime and pleasure here is the ra dio . D o
any of you remember when American radio offered excitement like

6 Reiland Voice , Apnl 1992

"Who knows wh at evil lurks in the minds of men? Only THE
SHADOW knows--heh , heh, heh, heh, heh" and soaps like ''Folger's
coffee, mountain grown, brings you the transcribed adventures of
JUDY AND JANE"? In that little box by my bed I have three
wave-lengt hs and umpteen stations fu ll of drama, documentaries,
analyses, how-to/where-to/wh y-to, serials, interviews, etc., etc.
halleluja h! Mind you, I'm having to do more dial-hopping since the
General Election was ca lled fo r April 9. Before the announcement
on M arch 10, news of the American primaries and British political
sq uabbling used up more than their fa ir share, in my opinion. Now
that the campaigns are ON, it's sometimes hard to find a program
that admits it's fiction .
I'm trying to listen to enough to stay informed , thinking that
maybe I'll do my Conscientious World Citizen bit and vote here in
April and in OK in November. In both cases mine will probably be
a protest vote--I protest that life is never as beautiful as politician
insist they can make it .
Basically, it's a two-horse field here: the conservatives (or
Tories) under John Major and the Labor [Labour] Party led by Neil
Kinnock are polling around 40% each. The final result may depend
on a deal with the Liberal Democrats and Paddy Ashdown, polling
around 14%. The Liberals got into hot water a while back when the
Press revealed that Paddy had an affair with his secretary five years
ago. Of course, comparisons between Ashdown and Clinton flew
around. I thought the differences were interesting--the respective
responses in effect were:
PADDY ASHDOWN--Yep, I done it; told my wife; put it behind
us; next question?
BILL CLINTON--Nope, not me; wife agrees; what evidence?
In trying to escape politics, I've found a fantastic station; "Fem
Radio, FM." The bad news is that the station is so far away that I
can't catch it unless I dangle myself from the attic window holding
a coat hanger. The good news is that EveryWoman's Radio is
attracting so much interest that many of their broadcasts are being
repeated on national stations. Maybe I'll be able to hear enough to
tell you abou t some FemDiff, next month .
Hey ... don't forget the empties!
•

WOMEN'S FRIENDSHIPS - A BOOK REVIEW
by Jo Soske
Susan Koppleman has done it again. Her latest book Women s
Friendships is a collection of brilliant and beautiful short stories on
the all-too-often-ignored subject of women's relationships with one
another. It includes stories written from 1846 to 1991. The
representation of authors and perspectives is brilliant. It includes
such writers as Edith Wharton, Alice Childress, Paula Gunn Allen,
and Leslea Newman. The headnotes are done by a variety of
feminist scholars including our own Abigail Keegan . In addition to
being a rich and diverse literary collection, the book contains an
introduction and conclusion which every woman should treat
herself to the pleasure of reading. Susan Koppleman paints a warm
and enduring picture with words. Such a picture could only spring
from the heart of a woman who loves women.
Womens Friendships was published by the University of
Oklahoma Press in both hard cover and soft cover. It can be
ordered by Herland. Every woman who has ever had a friend ,
hopes to have one, or plans to be one should consider this book a
m~t.
•

MOTHER'S DAY RALLY
CHILDREN'S RIGHTS

FOR

A coalition of concerned groups is sponsoring a March for the
Children on May 10, 1992, followed by a Lobby Day on May 11.
They are calling for legislation to protect child ren and the rights to
which they are entitled under the Constitution of the USA. There
are thousands of sexual abuse cases going on all over this country,
where judges ordered children to visit and even live with their
abusers.
The Rally will take place on the U .S. Capitol steps in
Washington DC from 1 - 3 pm, May 10. For more information
contact Kitty Kruse, (310) 354-7396.
The Coalition is also asking people to support a Bill of Rights for
Child Victims of Sexual Abuse. The National Petition for Sexually
Abused Children's Rights will be presented to the U.S. Congress
during the Mother's Day Rally for Children's R ights; May 10/l 1,
1992. If you would like to be included on this petition, you can
come in to Herland to sign, or sign and send in the short form below
to Herland, 2312 NW 39th, OKC 73112.

4. HOLDING ADULTS ACCOUNTABLE: Each child victim should
have the legal right to hold any adult accountable for abusing them,
participating in tha t abuse or for not protecting them from further abuse.
This includes the legal right to file lawsuits against doctors, lawyer, GALs,
and any other child protective service or government agency.
5. BURDEN OF PROOF REGARDING VISITATION SHIFTS TO
ABUSER: Once abuse has been demonstrated to the degree to warrant

protection, the abuser should assume the burden of proof necessary to show
that visitation would be good for the child, as opposed to the current system
in which the protecting parent must show that visitation with the abuser
would be bad for the child .

6. TH E RIGHT TO CONFRONT THEIR ABUSER BUT WITH
PROT ECTION: Each child victim should have the right to testify with
permission from their therapist, so they can feel empowered to confront their
abuser with the truth of the assault. However, the Courts, prosecutors, and
GALs will be innovative via the use of TV and media technology to protect
the child from further abuse and threats within the courtroom.

7. THE SAME EXPECTATION OF ADULT VICTIMS TO HAVE
LAWBREAK.ER PUNISHED: Child victims should have the same rights
of adult victims to have lawbreakers punished, and not to have their
sentences be less because the victim was a child or a family member.

A BILL OF RIGHTS FOR CHILD VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE
1. TRAINED JUDGES AND MASTERS: Each child victim would be
entitled to have his or her case heard by a judge trained and educated about
child development and the full effects of child sexual abuse. This includes
Family, Juvenile and Criminal Courts.

TRAINED GUARDIAN AD LITEMS - BOTH LAY AND
LA WYER: Each child victim should be entitled to a lay GAL who would

8. COMPETENT EVALUATION ANDTESTIMONY: Child victims
should be entitled to examination by doctors and experts who have extensive
experience in child development and child sexual abuse issues.
9. CONSTITUTIONAL R IGHTS FOR EACH CHILD: Children
should have the same legal and constitutional rights that adults have.

2.

be that child's guardian angel advocate and oversee the work of the system
including the lawyer GAL representing the child. The lawyer GAL should
be trained and educated, and limited in their work to being only a child
advocate, not representing the parents or other adult offenders.

··································································································································•
NATIONAL PETITION FOR SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILDREN'S RIGHTS
I support the Bill of Rights for child Victims of Sexual Abuse.
NAME

3. CHILD PROTECTION ISSUES SEPARATED FROM DIVORCE
COURT: Each child victim should be entitled to have legal matters
pertaining to their protection heard by a different judge than the one hearing
the divorce case. The child will not be a pawn in a property dispute.

'vbLIJM'/l:ER.s fOR

"DliY

Herland Voice, Apnl 1992 7

Many thanks to the women (& 2 puppies, May & Zev), who helped at the "newsletter party" putt ing our March newsletter together for mailing:
Charlotte, Ginger, Karen, Kathy, Ketta, Linda, Margaret, Michelle, Mary, Pat & Pat, Peggy, Rhond a, Rita and Shirley. We figure it takes fifteen to
twenty woman-hours for these mailings, so this one not only was fun as usua l but went quickly, too.
Our newsletter party in April, preparing the May issue for mailing, will be Tuesday, April 28. 1992, at Berland, beginning at 6:00 p.m. Hope to see
you there.

Vegetarians of OKC, a group committed to promoting vegetarianism in the community, are planning a Vegetarian Camp-Out for
April 24 - 26 at Red Rock Canyon. There will be workshops including Rappelling, Gardening, Cooking Classes, Hiking and more; plus
of course lots of good food, fun and friendship. For more information call LaDonna at 558-6191 (digital pager).

Earth Day in the Park, Saturday, April 18, from 1 - 5 p.m., in Will Rogers Park Amphitheater. Live music, healthy foods, booths,
tables, etc. Bring your frisbees, etc.

QUOT ABLE .. . A male survivor of rape had the following to say in an article in the Spring '92 issue of On The Issues, a magazine
available for reading at Herland: " ... while many women and some men are victimized by rape, all women are oppressed by it, and any
victimization of women occurs in a context of oppression most men simply do not understand. Rape for men is usually a bizarre,
outrageous tear in the fabric of reality. For women, rape is often a confirmation of relative powerlessness, of men's contempt for
women, and its trauma is reinforced every day in a thousand obvious and subtle ways." Sometimes when we get so tired speaking out
for ourselves, it is nice to have someone else do it for us; thanks .

The 14th National Lesbian and Gay Health Conference and 10th Annual AIDS Forum will be held July 8- 12, 1992 in Los
Angles. The health conference features a full-day institute on lesbian health and a 2 1/2 hour update on "Lesbians and Cancer". For
registration information and a program brochure contact Daniel E. Reichard at 202-994-4285.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: Wanted for anthology. FROM WEDDED WIFE TO LESBIAN LIFE: Stories of Formerly Married
Lesbians. Looking for writing which contrasts the experience of living within the tradition of heterosexual marriage to that of living
outside of convention, as a lesbian. Will accept personal narratives, short autobiographical fiction, and some poetry. Contributions
encouraged from both established and first-time writers. Before-and-after photos also sought. Send with S.A.S.E. to: Deborah
Abbott/Ellen Farmer, editors; 1515 Capitola Road , Suite E, Santa Cruz, CA 95062. (Correspondence also welcome). Deadline: July
15, 1992.

Herland Spring Retreat
May 15 - 17, 1992
Robber's Cave State Park
Single Person's
Annual Income

Retreat Preregistration fee

under $ 6,500
$ 6,500-$13,250
$13,250-$19,500
over $19,500

$15
$25
$35
$40

Household Annual Income
(2 or more persons)
under $13,300
$1 3,300-$18,000
$18,000-$26,000
over $26,000

Please choose the registration fee most appropriate for you based on these suggested income
guidelines. Complete and return the preregistration form to Herland, 23 12 N.W. 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112.

HSR SPRING RETREAT REGISTRATION
NAME: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ __

PHONE: ~--------~

ADDRESS: _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ __ _ __ __ _ __ __ __ _ _ __
CITY: _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _
STATE _ _ _ _ ___ ZIP _ _ _ _ _ __
Registration fee enclosed: D $15 D $25
D I'm enclosing an additional$
D I need a scholarship to attend.
D I wou ld like to ride with someone.
D I can help provide rides to the retreat.

D $35 D $40
to provide retreat scholarships.

Return to:
HERLAND
2312 N.W. 39th
Oklahoma City, OK 73112