extracted text

Serving the womyn' s
community
983

Her/and Voicesincel
volume twenty-six number twelve

DEF-END EQUALITY

•I

december 2008

JOIN THE
IMPACT
Election night was a
bitter-sweet
celebration. We came
together to witness the
first black man who
will become our
president, yet watched
in sadness as Florida,
Arizona, Arkansas, and
California all voted
down equal rights for
all citizens. In
California, Proposition
8, which eliminated the
right of same-sex
couples to marry,
passed by 52%.

Proposition 8's passage left only Massachusetts and
Connecticut as states where same-sex marriages are legal,
though both Rhode Island and New York will continue to
recognize such ceremonies performed elsewhere.
In Arizona, Prop 102 passed by 56% and amended the state
constitution to define marriage as between one man and one
woman. Florida's Prop 2 was a similar constitutional
amendment and passed by 62%.
Arkansas voters approved a measure banning unmarried
Arkansas couples who are living together from serving as
adoptive or foster parents, imposing a ban that the
Legislature balked at adopting. More than 56% of voters
supported the ban, said by its proponents to be aimed
primarily at keeping gays from becoming foster or adoptive
parents. The measure's sponsor, the Arkansas Family Council,

UPCOMING EVENTS
Fri., December 5th
Louise & Mary at Full Circle
7-9 pm

Fri., December 12th
Miss Brown to You at Galileo
9 pm- midnite S5

Sat., December 13th
Potluck & Di rty Santa Party at
Herland 6: 30 pm
Bring a pot luck dish and a wh ite
elephant gift and j oin us for an
evening of f un and friends.

Sat., December 20th
Si sters of Swing Christmas Show
Saint John's 5201 N Brookline

New Year's Eve
Covert Union in Concert
Church of the Open Arms 7:30 pm $5

New Year's Day
Potluck at Herland 1-4 pm
Join in our tradition!

(continued page 3)
The Herland Voice is a publication of Herland Sister Resources, 2312 NW 39th, OKC, OK 73112. Our bookstore/lending library is
open Saturdays from 1-5 pm. Call us at (405) 521-9696 or email us at herland@herlandsisters.org.
Visit us on the web at www.herlandsisters.org.

women in the news
first female four-star
general
After 33 years in the Army, Ann E.
Dunwoody ascended to the rank of fourstar general, a first for U.S. military.
Dunwoody received her Army commission
after graduation from the State University
of New York in 1975. Her first assignment
was to Fort Sill, as supply platoon leader.
She was sent to quartermaster officer
school at Fort Lee, Va. In 1980.
After graduating from the Command and
General Staff College in 1987, she was
assigned to Fort Bragg, N. C., where she
became the 82nd Airborne Division's first
female battalion commander.
She has numerous decorations, including
the Distinguished Service Medal and
Defense Superior Service Medal.
There are 21 female general officers in
the Army, and all but four at the rank of
one-star brigadier. The first one-star
general of the Army was Anna Mae Hays,
chief of the Army Nurse Corps, in 1970.

ERA champion dies at 81
Jane M. Patten, of Norman, died
November 12 at home following a short
illness. She began her career as a
kindergarten teacher, and became one of
the most influential women in Norman as
the chairman of the board of Security
National Bank. She was a founding
member of the Norman Public Schools
Foundation, and served as a board
member of the Okla. Department of
Libraries. With her friend Margaret
Melton, she chaired the Norman Equal
Rights Amendment Coalition and
participated in local Democratic Party
efforts.
For more information on this
accomplished woman, go to www.
normantranscript.com, November 14,
2008.

community events
PFLAG-OKC Tuesday December 2 Church
of the Open Arms 7 pm
OGLPC Monthly Meetjng Monday December 8 1236 NW 36 7 pm
PFLAG-Norman Thursday December 11
St Stephens 7 pm
OKC PRIDE General Meet;ng Monday December 15 Neighborhood Alliance 1236
NW 36 7pm

ou women's studies archives
The Western History Collection at the University of
Oklahoma has begun a Women's Studies Archive,
reports Martha Skeeters, Associate Professor of
Women's Studies, and Adjunct Assoc. Professor of
History at OU. Skeeters is recommending that anyone
with papers on women's studies, or related subjects,
consider donating them to this collection. Contact
Barbara McClurkin, archivist, at her office in Monnet
Hall on the North Oval, at 405-325-3641 or at
barbmcclurkin @ou.edu, or Martha Skeeters at
405-325-3481, mskeeters@ou.edu.

w.r.c. benefit dinner & concert
The Norman Women's Resource Center, Shelter and
Rape Crisis Center are having their 22nd annual Stay-AtHome Benefit Dinner in December. This ingenious fund
raiser lets you stay in your home and out of the cold,
while feeling warm inside about your contribution to
the lives of many women and children .
If you don't mind the weather, love a sing-along, and
still want that warm feeling, attend the 15th Annual
Sullivan Family Concert on Monday, December 22 at
7:00 PM at the Sharp Concert Hall, Catlett Music
Center, at the University of OK. The concert is free
and open to the public, with donations to WRC
accepted. Concert Sponsors are still needed, and will
be listed in the program.
The WRC is one of the oldest, continually operating
women's center/shelter in the U.S. To find out more
about their history and services call 364-9424 or go to
wrcnorman.org.

JOIN THE IMPACT

(cont. from page 1)

tried to paint its proposal as a battle against a
"gay agenda." The conservative group
successfully pushed for an amendment banning
same-sex marriage four years ago.
This is not a one time, four-state issue. It's an
issue of equality across America . Stand up and
make your voice heard!
In an effort to make a positive impact in the lives
of our community, our allies, and even our
opposition, JoinThelmpact.com emerged .
JoinThelmpact coordinates the national effort to
promote LGBTQ equality and organized the
recent rallies across the nation against
California's Prop 8. ·
Our movement seeks to encourage the LGBTQ .
community not to look towards the past and
place blame, but instead to look forward toward

New Year's Eve Party!
Are you looking for a clean and sober way to bring
in the New Year? Well, look no further! Church of
the Open Arms is hosting
a New Year's Eve Party
with lots of fun activities.
The celebration will begin
with a concert by Covert
Union from 8 - 10pm.
After the concert, there
will be music (spinning
CDs), dancing, games, and
refreshments until 1am.
The entire night of
entertainment is completely free, but if you'd like
to bring a snack to share, it would be welcome and
appreciated.
Start your New Year off right with friends, in a fun,
relaxing, and sober environment! Church of the
Open Arms is located at 3131 N. Pennsylvania
Avenue.

what needs to be done now to achieve one goal:
Full equality for ALL. We stand for reaching out
across all communities. We do not stand for
bigotry, for scapegoating, or using anger as our
driving force . Our mission is to encourage our
community to engage our opposition in a
conversation about full equality and to do this
with respect , dignity, and an attitude of
outreach and education .
At JoinThelmpact, we are all inclusive. As such,
we will continue to encourage debate from all
sides of the conversation provided it is civil and
respectful. We will encourage our community to
not let anger steer the conversation, but with an
understanding that anger is a human reaction
and we hope that it can be used as a catalyst
toward positive change.

thank you, thank you!
Herland is grateful for the continued
support of many, many women,
locally and from distant places.
Sometimes donations come from
those who can afford to give, and
from others who are grateful for the
community of women who have kept
Herland alive for 25 years.
In keeping with our privacy policies,
we refrain
from giving
full names,
but want to
thank
everyone
who has
responded
to our plea
for
support: So
here goes!
Thank you to BF, BM, BN, CK, CT,
DTH, DS, FP, GF, GM,JB,JG, KR, K~
LA, LC, LS, MC, MD, NK, NN, PM, PJ,
PK, RH, SB, SH, SI, TC, T, VD, JM,
DD, EB, VE, and GP.

we won! we lost!
Barack Obama is headed to the White
House, but California and other
states turned back equality. What's
next for the GLBT community?
By Sean Bugg, Metro Weekly Magazine, Nov. 13

Elections are natural emotional rollercoasters ,
plunging from heady heights to profound lows . .
For the GLBT Community, 2008 was particularly
high-and particularly low. Even as Barack Obama
became the first African American to be elected to
the presidency-and with more than two-thirds of
gays and lesbians voting for him- Florida and
Arizona voters approved amendments banning
same-sex marriage, and Arkansas took the
retrograde step of effectively barring adoption and
foster-parenting by gays and lesbians.
But the lowest moment had to be the passage of
California's Proposition 8, a measure to end
marriage equality for gays and lesbians in the
state. As a result, thousands of gay and lesbian
couples find the legality of their marriages no
longer certain . While demoralizing, the passage of
Prop. 8 has also proved galvanizing, with protests
sprouting across the country, including D.C. (and 3
in Oklahoma) And as President-elect Obama begins
his transition into the White House, the GLBT
community faces a time of great opportunity on
the Federal level.
We asked the leaders of a number of national GLBt
and HIV I AIDS organizations their thoughts on the
new administration, what the community can
achieve, and what the victory of anti-gay
campaigns across the country means for the GLBT
movement.
Metro Weekly: From your perspective, what is
the most immediate effect of the presidential
election on the GLBT community?
Rea Carey, Executive Director, The Task Force: It
is that for the first time in eight years there is a
possibility for the enactment of pro-LGBT policies.
It is now possible for us to move forward without
the fear of immediate veto threat or
administrative ideology obstructing our efforts.
We have an opportunity to see our work result in
real change and tangible improvement in the lives
of LGBT people in America .
Aubrey Sarvis, Servicemembers Legal Defense
Network: The Obama presidency will bring an

expotentially greater level of support for LGBT issues
and a greater awareness and understanding of our
community. Sen. Obama ran opposing "Don't Ask,
Don ' t Tell" and the Defense of Marriage Act, while
openly supporting ENDA and expanded hate-crimes
protections. Without shying away from those
positions and while mentioning gays and lesbians in
his rallies, Obama carried conservative states
including North Carolina, Virginia , Indiana and
Florida. This, along with the election of an African
American to the presidency, shows how far we have
come.
Mara Keisi ng, Executive Director, National Center for
Transgender Equality: Clearly we are excited that we
are likely to see fewe r proactive attacks against all
LGBT people from an Obama administration . We have
all spent the last eight years fending off very hurtful
and unproductive policies, and knowing that
meaningful advances in federal policy required
difficult uphill battles. We are hopeful for the next
fou r years.
Jon Hoadley, Executive Director, National Stonewall
Democrats: From before day one, Obama has had a
fully inclusive approach to our community. Even his
transition team serves as a model for things to come.
Not only did he immediately put into a place a nondiscrimination policy for the transition team that was
inclusive of both sexual orientation and gender
identity, but also he isn't pigeonholing his LGBT staff
into LGBT roles. This sends a message that our issues
will be addressed and we will be treated as full
people.
Patrick Sammon, President, Log Cabin Republicans : I
think out of the ashes of what is now the Republican
Party there is a real opportunity to help rebuild the
party in a way that makes it a party of the future
rather than a party of the past. What remains to be
seen is what President-elect Obama and the
Democrats actually deliver on in terms of promises
they've made.
Paul Kawata, Executive Director, National Minority
AIDS Council: For me, the election of Obama, and a
Democratic Congress, means that Americans are
ready for change on so many levels. Though
Proposition 8 passed in California, it did not win by
the margin that it probably would have even four
years ago. We must take heart that our courts are
starting to look favorably on gay rights, and that gay
marriage was legal in California, even if for a short
time. We are on the cusp of a new day. It is up to us
as community organizers and LGBT leaders to
continue the fight for our rights.

By Victor Gorin, for "Metro Star" December 1, 2008

have changed, how prejudices from home are
brought to schools, and how those who are
different frequently become objects of bullying.

Educators, mental health professionals, activists
and others interested in Oklahoma's students
came together November 13 for the 2nd Stop
Hate in the Hallways Conference. Following the
success of the first conference held in Oklahoma
City, this meeting was held at the U.S. Postal
Service 's National Facility for Employee
Development in Norman, bringing in people
throughout Oklahoma interested in making
Oklahoma's schools safer.

This point was best made by the keynote
speaker, Stephen Wessler, who directs the
Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence
located in Portland, Maine, and was a former
assistant Attorney General in that state was well.
He is the author of the book, "The Respectful
School," and has received many awards for his
work in the area of civil rights .

STOP HATE lN THE HALLWAYS

The Conference was originally organized by
Cimarron Alliance, mainly because of a glaring
need that wasn't being met. While there have
been many incidents of school violence, and
conferences and discussion to address it, there
had never been a conference, seminar or major
meeting that included what many feel is the
most common target of bullying, those who are
or are perceived to be gay or lesbian .
Whether the problem is growing or simply being
recognized and addressed is open to question.
What is certain is that there definitely is a
problem . In a national study, over 30% of U.S.
students reported being involved in bullying
either as a bully (13%), a victim (11 %), or both
(6%). Coming close to home, the Oklahoma State
Department of Health did a study surveying 7,848
Oklahoma students. They found similar results,
with 33% that had been involved in bullying, 12%
as the bully, 14% as the victim, and 7% involved
in both . One in five students worried often or
daily about being bullied. More than half never
reported it to an adult at school or a parent.
When asked what could be done about the
situation, 2/3 of those who were bullied and half
of those not bullied wanted better adult
supervision.
Not only is bullying damaging to the victims, but
frequently the bullies suffer as well, with over
60% of those categorized as bullies in grades 6-9
having at least one criminal conviction by age 24.
A study of the U.S. Department of Education of
37 school shooting incidents found that 71 3 of the
shooters felt threatened and/or persecuted, or
had been attacked.
Following a welcome by Richard Odgen,
Chairman of Cimarron Alliance, the conference
was addressed by Oklahoma Attorney General
Drew Edmondson. He pointed out how things

He pointed out that serious bullying begins with
words. He told of a student (pseudonym John),
who was perceived to be gay by four male
students at his school. At first they talked behind
his back, and nobody objected. It escalated to
name calling directly to John . Then it escalated
to tripping and shoving i n the hall, with no
objections or intervention . The following
February he was jumped by three boys and
severely beaten, and nobody i ntervened or told
an adult. This was followed by three similar
incidents, including an attempt in the bathroom
to put his head in a toilet, and another incident
where a boy put John's head in a noose and
pulled it tight for over 40 seconds. Finally, when
one of the boys threatened to shoot John, the
threat was overheard by a girl who reported this
to school authorities. Finally, the police were
called and Mr. Wessler, as a prosecutor with the
state hate crimes prosecution unit, finally took
action. The four boys involved in the harassment
were age 12.
Although the conference included the issues of
GLBT students, it was also inclusive of other
targets of bullying as well, including Islamic and
Latino students. Other issues included students
with disabilities, and other characteristics such
as being overweight.
Reverend Scott Jones of Oklahoma City's
Cathedral of Hope led a panel discussion of
religion and the role it played in harassment, and
also those who are victimized. Another
workshop, conducted by Kathy Middleton with
the Oklahoma State Department of Health,
demonstrated how bullying could be prevented,
and how students and administrators can deal
with it.
And intervention can't come too soon,
not only for those bullied, but for all Oklahoma
students who have the right to a productive, safe
education.

FROM THE DAILY BEAST

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright,
I get it. 51 % of you think that I
am a second class citizen.
Alright then. So my wife, uh I
mean, roommate? Girlfriend?
Special lady friend? You are
_ ...__ gonna have to help me here
because I am not sure what to call her now.
Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right
under the state constitution as any other citizen.
Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to
pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I
mean that would just be wrong, to make someone
pay taxes and not give them the same rights,
sounds sort of like that taxation without
representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here
but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a
million dollars that I will be keeping instead of
handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I
am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her
bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow,
come to think of it, there are quite a few of us
fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra
cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure
there will be a little box on the tax forms now
single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you
are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of
the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and
gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay
their taxes either.

Oh and too bad California, I know you were looking
forward to the revenue from all of those extra
marriages. I guess you will have to find some other
way to get out of the budget trouble you are in.

... Really?

When did it become okay to legislate morality? I try
to envision someone reading that legislation
"eliminates the right" and then clicking yes. What
goes through their mind? Was it the frightening
commercial where the little girl comes home and
says, "Hi mom, we learned about gays in class

today" and then the mother gets that awful worried
look and the scary music plays? Do they not know
anyone who is gay? If they do, can they look them
in the face and say "I believe you do not deserve
the same rights as me"? Do they think that their
children will never encounter a gay person? Do they
think they will never have to explain the 20% of us
who are gay and living and working side by side
with all the citizens of California?

I got news for them, someday your child is going to
come home and ask you what a gay person is. Gay
people are born everyday. You will never legislate
that away.

I know when I grew up gay was a bad word. Homo,
lezzie, faggot, dyke. Ignorance and fear ruled the
day. There were so many "thems" back then. The
blacks, the poor ... you know, "them". Then there
was the immigrants. "Them." Now the them is me.

I tell myself to take a breath, okay take another
one, one of the thems made it to the top. Obama
has been elected president. This crazy fearful
insanity will end soon. This great state and this
great country of ours will finally come to the
understanding that there is no "them". We are one.
We are united. What you do to someone else you do
to yourself. That "judge not, lest ye yourself be
judged" are truthful words and not Christian
rhetoric.

Today the gay citizenry of this state will pick
themselves up and dust themselves off and do what
we have been doing for years. We will get back into
it. We love this state, we love this country and we
are not going to leave it. Even though we could be
married in Mass. or Conn, Canada, Holland, Spain
and a handful of other countries, this is our home .
This is where we work and play and raise our
families. We will not rest until we have the full
rights of any other citizen. It is that simple, no
fearful vote will ever stop us, that is not the
American way.

Come to think of it, I should get a federal tax
break too ...

JOIN THE

IMPACT
An estimated 200
people attended
the rally against
Prop 8 in OKC on
Saturday, Nov. 15,
at City Hall, shown
at right.

Resources for Seniors
The Senior Law Resource Center empowers Oklahomans to
age with independence, dignity, and security by providing
high quality, affordable legal information and services. They
provide elders and caregivers legal information and
assistance with the following issues:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

Basic Estate Planning & Probate
Incapacity Planning & Guardianships
Long-Term Care
Social Security & Retirement
Consumer Protection
Grandparents' Rights
Age Discrimination
Elder Abuse & Exploitation
End-of-Life Issues

The center provides free information through group
presentations and an on-line resource center. Legal services
are offered for a sliding-scale fee.
Contact the center to schedule a free presentation or legal
consultation at their office or a location of your choice. Call
them at (405) 528-0858 or e-mail
info@oklahomaseniorlaw.org visit their website at
www.OklahomaSeniorLaw.org.

SUPPORT.THE BUSINESSES THAT HELP SUPPORT HERLAND!
Ginny Poindexter
Realtor
Direct
Office
Fax
E-mail

19~19!.unetda,

££(?.

~~

405.919.8443
405.948.7500
405.948.7502
ginnypoindexter@kw.com

KELLER WILLIAMS
5629 N. Classen Blvd.
Oklahoma City, OK 73118

Vicki Escajeda, BA, CM (405) 202-7051
P.O. Box 12247, Oklahoma City, OK 73157-2247-( 405) 637-8000

Each office is independently owned and operated.

Sandy Ingraham, J.D., M.S.W.
Attorney-at-Law
Ingraham & Associates, PLLC
Estate Planning, Wills, Trusts, Probate, Adoption, Contracts

Route 2, Box 369-B
McLoud, OK 74851

Dr. Dawn Singleton, Ph.D.

0
Licensed Professional Counselor
Licensed Marital & Family Therapist

5005 N. Pennsylvania #204 OKC, OK
405-232-3296
Tel. (405) 964-2072
Ingraham@mcloudteleco.com

Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

Return Service Requested

FREE HOUR CONSULTATION

Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861



Serving the womyn' s
community
983

Her/and Voicesincel
volume twenty-six number twelve

DEF-END EQUALITY

•I

december 2008

JOIN THE
IMPACT
Election night was a
bitter-sweet
celebration. We came
together to witness the
first black man who
will become our
president, yet watched
in sadness as Florida,
Arizona, Arkansas, and
California all voted
down equal rights for
all citizens. In
California, Proposition
8, which eliminated the
right of same-sex
couples to marry,
passed by 52%.

Proposition 8's passage left only Massachusetts and
Connecticut as states where same-sex marriages are legal,
though both Rhode Island and New York will continue to
recognize such ceremonies performed elsewhere.
In Arizona, Prop 102 passed by 56% and amended the state
constitution to define marriage as between one man and one
woman. Florida's Prop 2 was a similar constitutional
amendment and passed by 62%.
Arkansas voters approved a measure banning unmarried
Arkansas couples who are living together from serving as
adoptive or foster parents, imposing a ban that the
Legislature balked at adopting. More than 56% of voters
supported the ban, said by its proponents to be aimed
primarily at keeping gays from becoming foster or adoptive
parents. The measure's sponsor, the Arkansas Family Council,

UPCOMING EVENTS
Fri., December 5th
Louise & Mary at Full Circle
7-9 pm

Fri., December 12th
Miss Brown to You at Galileo
9 pm- midnite S5

Sat., December 13th
Potluck & Di rty Santa Party at
Herland 6: 30 pm
Bring a pot luck dish and a wh ite
elephant gift and j oin us for an
evening of f un and friends.

Sat., December 20th
Si sters of Swing Christmas Show
Saint John's 5201 N Brookline

New Year's Eve
Covert Union in Concert
Church of the Open Arms 7:30 pm $5

New Year's Day
Potluck at Herland 1-4 pm
Join in our tradition!

(continued page 3)
The Herland Voice is a publication of Herland Sister Resources, 2312 NW 39th, OKC, OK 73112. Our bookstore/lending library is
open Saturdays from 1-5 pm. Call us at (405) 521-9696 or email us at herland@herlandsisters.org.
Visit us on the web at www.herlandsisters.org.

women in the news
first female four-star
general
After 33 years in the Army, Ann E.
Dunwoody ascended to the rank of fourstar general, a first for U.S. military.
Dunwoody received her Army commission
after graduation from the State University
of New York in 1975. Her first assignment
was to Fort Sill, as supply platoon leader.
She was sent to quartermaster officer
school at Fort Lee, Va. In 1980.
After graduating from the Command and
General Staff College in 1987, she was
assigned to Fort Bragg, N. C., where she
became the 82nd Airborne Division's first
female battalion commander.
She has numerous decorations, including
the Distinguished Service Medal and
Defense Superior Service Medal.
There are 21 female general officers in
the Army, and all but four at the rank of
one-star brigadier. The first one-star
general of the Army was Anna Mae Hays,
chief of the Army Nurse Corps, in 1970.

ERA champion dies at 81
Jane M. Patten, of Norman, died
November 12 at home following a short
illness. She began her career as a
kindergarten teacher, and became one of
the most influential women in Norman as
the chairman of the board of Security
National Bank. She was a founding
member of the Norman Public Schools
Foundation, and served as a board
member of the Okla. Department of
Libraries. With her friend Margaret
Melton, she chaired the Norman Equal
Rights Amendment Coalition and
participated in local Democratic Party
efforts.
For more information on this
accomplished woman, go to www.
normantranscript.com, November 14,
2008.

community events
PFLAG-OKC Tuesday December 2 Church
of the Open Arms 7 pm
OGLPC Monthly Meetjng Monday December 8 1236 NW 36 7 pm
PFLAG-Norman Thursday December 11
St Stephens 7 pm
OKC PRIDE General Meet;ng Monday December 15 Neighborhood Alliance 1236
NW 36 7pm

ou women's studies archives
The Western History Collection at the University of
Oklahoma has begun a Women's Studies Archive,
reports Martha Skeeters, Associate Professor of
Women's Studies, and Adjunct Assoc. Professor of
History at OU. Skeeters is recommending that anyone
with papers on women's studies, or related subjects,
consider donating them to this collection. Contact
Barbara McClurkin, archivist, at her office in Monnet
Hall on the North Oval, at 405-325-3641 or at
barbmcclurkin @ou.edu, or Martha Skeeters at
405-325-3481, mskeeters@ou.edu.

w.r.c. benefit dinner & concert
The Norman Women's Resource Center, Shelter and
Rape Crisis Center are having their 22nd annual Stay-AtHome Benefit Dinner in December. This ingenious fund
raiser lets you stay in your home and out of the cold,
while feeling warm inside about your contribution to
the lives of many women and children .
If you don't mind the weather, love a sing-along, and
still want that warm feeling, attend the 15th Annual
Sullivan Family Concert on Monday, December 22 at
7:00 PM at the Sharp Concert Hall, Catlett Music
Center, at the University of OK. The concert is free
and open to the public, with donations to WRC
accepted. Concert Sponsors are still needed, and will
be listed in the program.
The WRC is one of the oldest, continually operating
women's center/shelter in the U.S. To find out more
about their history and services call 364-9424 or go to
wrcnorman.org.

JOIN THE IMPACT

(cont. from page 1)

tried to paint its proposal as a battle against a
"gay agenda." The conservative group
successfully pushed for an amendment banning
same-sex marriage four years ago.
This is not a one time, four-state issue. It's an
issue of equality across America . Stand up and
make your voice heard!
In an effort to make a positive impact in the lives
of our community, our allies, and even our
opposition, JoinThelmpact.com emerged .
JoinThelmpact coordinates the national effort to
promote LGBTQ equality and organized the
recent rallies across the nation against
California's Prop 8. ·
Our movement seeks to encourage the LGBTQ .
community not to look towards the past and
place blame, but instead to look forward toward

New Year's Eve Party!
Are you looking for a clean and sober way to bring
in the New Year? Well, look no further! Church of
the Open Arms is hosting
a New Year's Eve Party
with lots of fun activities.
The celebration will begin
with a concert by Covert
Union from 8 - 10pm.
After the concert, there
will be music (spinning
CDs), dancing, games, and
refreshments until 1am.
The entire night of
entertainment is completely free, but if you'd like
to bring a snack to share, it would be welcome and
appreciated.
Start your New Year off right with friends, in a fun,
relaxing, and sober environment! Church of the
Open Arms is located at 3131 N. Pennsylvania
Avenue.

what needs to be done now to achieve one goal:
Full equality for ALL. We stand for reaching out
across all communities. We do not stand for
bigotry, for scapegoating, or using anger as our
driving force . Our mission is to encourage our
community to engage our opposition in a
conversation about full equality and to do this
with respect , dignity, and an attitude of
outreach and education .
At JoinThelmpact, we are all inclusive. As such,
we will continue to encourage debate from all
sides of the conversation provided it is civil and
respectful. We will encourage our community to
not let anger steer the conversation, but with an
understanding that anger is a human reaction
and we hope that it can be used as a catalyst
toward positive change.

thank you, thank you!
Herland is grateful for the continued
support of many, many women,
locally and from distant places.
Sometimes donations come from
those who can afford to give, and
from others who are grateful for the
community of women who have kept
Herland alive for 25 years.
In keeping with our privacy policies,
we refrain
from giving
full names,
but want to
thank
everyone
who has
responded
to our plea
for
support: So
here goes!
Thank you to BF, BM, BN, CK, CT,
DTH, DS, FP, GF, GM,JB,JG, KR, K~
LA, LC, LS, MC, MD, NK, NN, PM, PJ,
PK, RH, SB, SH, SI, TC, T, VD, JM,
DD, EB, VE, and GP.

we won! we lost!
Barack Obama is headed to the White
House, but California and other
states turned back equality. What's
next for the GLBT community?
By Sean Bugg, Metro Weekly Magazine, Nov. 13

Elections are natural emotional rollercoasters ,
plunging from heady heights to profound lows . .
For the GLBT Community, 2008 was particularly
high-and particularly low. Even as Barack Obama
became the first African American to be elected to
the presidency-and with more than two-thirds of
gays and lesbians voting for him- Florida and
Arizona voters approved amendments banning
same-sex marriage, and Arkansas took the
retrograde step of effectively barring adoption and
foster-parenting by gays and lesbians.
But the lowest moment had to be the passage of
California's Proposition 8, a measure to end
marriage equality for gays and lesbians in the
state. As a result, thousands of gay and lesbian
couples find the legality of their marriages no
longer certain . While demoralizing, the passage of
Prop. 8 has also proved galvanizing, with protests
sprouting across the country, including D.C. (and 3
in Oklahoma) And as President-elect Obama begins
his transition into the White House, the GLBT
community faces a time of great opportunity on
the Federal level.
We asked the leaders of a number of national GLBt
and HIV I AIDS organizations their thoughts on the
new administration, what the community can
achieve, and what the victory of anti-gay
campaigns across the country means for the GLBT
movement.
Metro Weekly: From your perspective, what is
the most immediate effect of the presidential
election on the GLBT community?
Rea Carey, Executive Director, The Task Force: It
is that for the first time in eight years there is a
possibility for the enactment of pro-LGBT policies.
It is now possible for us to move forward without
the fear of immediate veto threat or
administrative ideology obstructing our efforts.
We have an opportunity to see our work result in
real change and tangible improvement in the lives
of LGBT people in America .
Aubrey Sarvis, Servicemembers Legal Defense
Network: The Obama presidency will bring an

expotentially greater level of support for LGBT issues
and a greater awareness and understanding of our
community. Sen. Obama ran opposing "Don't Ask,
Don ' t Tell" and the Defense of Marriage Act, while
openly supporting ENDA and expanded hate-crimes
protections. Without shying away from those
positions and while mentioning gays and lesbians in
his rallies, Obama carried conservative states
including North Carolina, Virginia , Indiana and
Florida. This, along with the election of an African
American to the presidency, shows how far we have
come.
Mara Keisi ng, Executive Director, National Center for
Transgender Equality: Clearly we are excited that we
are likely to see fewe r proactive attacks against all
LGBT people from an Obama administration . We have
all spent the last eight years fending off very hurtful
and unproductive policies, and knowing that
meaningful advances in federal policy required
difficult uphill battles. We are hopeful for the next
fou r years.
Jon Hoadley, Executive Director, National Stonewall
Democrats: From before day one, Obama has had a
fully inclusive approach to our community. Even his
transition team serves as a model for things to come.
Not only did he immediately put into a place a nondiscrimination policy for the transition team that was
inclusive of both sexual orientation and gender
identity, but also he isn't pigeonholing his LGBT staff
into LGBT roles. This sends a message that our issues
will be addressed and we will be treated as full
people.
Patrick Sammon, President, Log Cabin Republicans : I
think out of the ashes of what is now the Republican
Party there is a real opportunity to help rebuild the
party in a way that makes it a party of the future
rather than a party of the past. What remains to be
seen is what President-elect Obama and the
Democrats actually deliver on in terms of promises
they've made.
Paul Kawata, Executive Director, National Minority
AIDS Council: For me, the election of Obama, and a
Democratic Congress, means that Americans are
ready for change on so many levels. Though
Proposition 8 passed in California, it did not win by
the margin that it probably would have even four
years ago. We must take heart that our courts are
starting to look favorably on gay rights, and that gay
marriage was legal in California, even if for a short
time. We are on the cusp of a new day. It is up to us
as community organizers and LGBT leaders to
continue the fight for our rights.

By Victor Gorin, for "Metro Star" December 1, 2008

have changed, how prejudices from home are
brought to schools, and how those who are
different frequently become objects of bullying.

Educators, mental health professionals, activists
and others interested in Oklahoma's students
came together November 13 for the 2nd Stop
Hate in the Hallways Conference. Following the
success of the first conference held in Oklahoma
City, this meeting was held at the U.S. Postal
Service 's National Facility for Employee
Development in Norman, bringing in people
throughout Oklahoma interested in making
Oklahoma's schools safer.

This point was best made by the keynote
speaker, Stephen Wessler, who directs the
Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence
located in Portland, Maine, and was a former
assistant Attorney General in that state was well.
He is the author of the book, "The Respectful
School," and has received many awards for his
work in the area of civil rights .

STOP HATE lN THE HALLWAYS

The Conference was originally organized by
Cimarron Alliance, mainly because of a glaring
need that wasn't being met. While there have
been many incidents of school violence, and
conferences and discussion to address it, there
had never been a conference, seminar or major
meeting that included what many feel is the
most common target of bullying, those who are
or are perceived to be gay or lesbian .
Whether the problem is growing or simply being
recognized and addressed is open to question.
What is certain is that there definitely is a
problem . In a national study, over 30% of U.S.
students reported being involved in bullying
either as a bully (13%), a victim (11 %), or both
(6%). Coming close to home, the Oklahoma State
Department of Health did a study surveying 7,848
Oklahoma students. They found similar results,
with 33% that had been involved in bullying, 12%
as the bully, 14% as the victim, and 7% involved
in both . One in five students worried often or
daily about being bullied. More than half never
reported it to an adult at school or a parent.
When asked what could be done about the
situation, 2/3 of those who were bullied and half
of those not bullied wanted better adult
supervision.
Not only is bullying damaging to the victims, but
frequently the bullies suffer as well, with over
60% of those categorized as bullies in grades 6-9
having at least one criminal conviction by age 24.
A study of the U.S. Department of Education of
37 school shooting incidents found that 71 3 of the
shooters felt threatened and/or persecuted, or
had been attacked.
Following a welcome by Richard Odgen,
Chairman of Cimarron Alliance, the conference
was addressed by Oklahoma Attorney General
Drew Edmondson. He pointed out how things

He pointed out that serious bullying begins with
words. He told of a student (pseudonym John),
who was perceived to be gay by four male
students at his school. At first they talked behind
his back, and nobody objected. It escalated to
name calling directly to John . Then it escalated
to tripping and shoving i n the hall, with no
objections or intervention . The following
February he was jumped by three boys and
severely beaten, and nobody i ntervened or told
an adult. This was followed by three similar
incidents, including an attempt in the bathroom
to put his head in a toilet, and another incident
where a boy put John's head in a noose and
pulled it tight for over 40 seconds. Finally, when
one of the boys threatened to shoot John, the
threat was overheard by a girl who reported this
to school authorities. Finally, the police were
called and Mr. Wessler, as a prosecutor with the
state hate crimes prosecution unit, finally took
action. The four boys involved in the harassment
were age 12.
Although the conference included the issues of
GLBT students, it was also inclusive of other
targets of bullying as well, including Islamic and
Latino students. Other issues included students
with disabilities, and other characteristics such
as being overweight.
Reverend Scott Jones of Oklahoma City's
Cathedral of Hope led a panel discussion of
religion and the role it played in harassment, and
also those who are victimized. Another
workshop, conducted by Kathy Middleton with
the Oklahoma State Department of Health,
demonstrated how bullying could be prevented,
and how students and administrators can deal
with it.
And intervention can't come too soon,
not only for those bullied, but for all Oklahoma
students who have the right to a productive, safe
education.

FROM THE DAILY BEAST

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright,
I get it. 51 % of you think that I
am a second class citizen.
Alright then. So my wife, uh I
mean, roommate? Girlfriend?
Special lady friend? You are
_ ...__ gonna have to help me here
because I am not sure what to call her now.
Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right
under the state constitution as any other citizen.
Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to
pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I
mean that would just be wrong, to make someone
pay taxes and not give them the same rights,
sounds sort of like that taxation without
representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here
but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a
million dollars that I will be keeping instead of
handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I
am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her
bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow,
come to think of it, there are quite a few of us
fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra
cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure
there will be a little box on the tax forms now
single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you
are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of
the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and
gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay
their taxes either.

Oh and too bad California, I know you were looking
forward to the revenue from all of those extra
marriages. I guess you will have to find some other
way to get out of the budget trouble you are in.

... Really?

When did it become okay to legislate morality? I try
to envision someone reading that legislation
"eliminates the right" and then clicking yes. What
goes through their mind? Was it the frightening
commercial where the little girl comes home and
says, "Hi mom, we learned about gays in class

today" and then the mother gets that awful worried
look and the scary music plays? Do they not know
anyone who is gay? If they do, can they look them
in the face and say "I believe you do not deserve
the same rights as me"? Do they think that their
children will never encounter a gay person? Do they
think they will never have to explain the 20% of us
who are gay and living and working side by side
with all the citizens of California?

I got news for them, someday your child is going to
come home and ask you what a gay person is. Gay
people are born everyday. You will never legislate
that away.

I know when I grew up gay was a bad word. Homo,
lezzie, faggot, dyke. Ignorance and fear ruled the
day. There were so many "thems" back then. The
blacks, the poor ... you know, "them". Then there
was the immigrants. "Them." Now the them is me.

I tell myself to take a breath, okay take another
one, one of the thems made it to the top. Obama
has been elected president. This crazy fearful
insanity will end soon. This great state and this
great country of ours will finally come to the
understanding that there is no "them". We are one.
We are united. What you do to someone else you do
to yourself. That "judge not, lest ye yourself be
judged" are truthful words and not Christian
rhetoric.

Today the gay citizenry of this state will pick
themselves up and dust themselves off and do what
we have been doing for years. We will get back into
it. We love this state, we love this country and we
are not going to leave it. Even though we could be
married in Mass. or Conn, Canada, Holland, Spain
and a handful of other countries, this is our home .
This is where we work and play and raise our
families. We will not rest until we have the full
rights of any other citizen. It is that simple, no
fearful vote will ever stop us, that is not the
American way.

Come to think of it, I should get a federal tax
break too ...

JOIN THE

IMPACT
An estimated 200
people attended
the rally against
Prop 8 in OKC on
Saturday, Nov. 15,
at City Hall, shown
at right.

Resources for Seniors
The Senior Law Resource Center empowers Oklahomans to
age with independence, dignity, and security by providing
high quality, affordable legal information and services. They
provide elders and caregivers legal information and
assistance with the following issues:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

Basic Estate Planning & Probate
Incapacity Planning & Guardianships
Long-Term Care
Social Security & Retirement
Consumer Protection
Grandparents' Rights
Age Discrimination
Elder Abuse & Exploitation
End-of-Life Issues

The center provides free information through group
presentations and an on-line resource center. Legal services
are offered for a sliding-scale fee.
Contact the center to schedule a free presentation or legal
consultation at their office or a location of your choice. Call
them at (405) 528-0858 or e-mail
info@oklahomaseniorlaw.org visit their website at
www.OklahomaSeniorLaw.org.

SUPPORT.THE BUSINESSES THAT HELP SUPPORT HERLAND!
Ginny Poindexter
Realtor
Direct
Office
Fax
E-mail

19~19!.unetda,

££(?.

~~

405.919.8443
405.948.7500
405.948.7502
ginnypoindexter@kw.com

KELLER WILLIAMS
5629 N. Classen Blvd.
Oklahoma City, OK 73118

Vicki Escajeda, BA, CM (405) 202-7051
P.O. Box 12247, Oklahoma City, OK 73157-2247-( 405) 637-8000

Each office is independently owned and operated.

Sandy Ingraham, J.D., M.S.W.
Attorney-at-Law
Ingraham & Associates, PLLC
Estate Planning, Wills, Trusts, Probate, Adoption, Contracts

Route 2, Box 369-B
McLoud, OK 74851

Dr. Dawn Singleton, Ph.D.

0
Licensed Professional Counselor
Licensed Marital & Family Therapist

5005 N. Pennsylvania #204 OKC, OK
405-232-3296
Tel. (405) 964-2072
Ingraham@mcloudteleco.com

Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

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