extracted text

do~HERLAND ~
NOVEMBER 1990

ICE

THE GROOMING INSTINCT
a short story by R.L.S.
Regina Mathews was a picker . Not of
produce, although she had done that on occasion, but of something far more exciting. She
picked .. . things . . . from her person. From the
time she could control her fingers she had
picked at anything that even had a remote
promise of being removable. It began with the
plastic covering on her disposable diapers, and
to her mother's dismay, she soon became adept
at pulling off the little tabs that kept the diapers
in place. Consequently she was graduated to
cloth diapers, which Regina's mother pretended
to her friends was due to ecological considerations.
Soon Regina grew old enough to run and
skip, climb trees, build forts, ride bicycles, and
enjoy other similar girlish pursuits. W hen the
inevitable scraped knee occurred, she would
quickly dry her eyes and smile to herself,
knowing that the pain was worth the fun she
would have in a few days. She would wait until
the wound was nearly healed, then pick around
the edges of the scab.
"Regina, stop picking at that, you'll make a
scar," her mother would admonish. "Mom, I'm
just checking it," would be Regina's reply. And
of course the scab would come off and the
scrape would bleed a little and a new scab would
form ... with little effort Regina could get one
scrape to last for several weeks.
Another favorite activity was to deliberately
play in the sun too long just so that she could
burn to a crisp and reap the harvest of her
sacrifice when she began to peel.
"Regina, you're going to die of skin cancer
before you 're fifteen," her mother would wail.
But Regina, like all people under 30, was
absolutely convinced of her immortality and
invincibility, and continued to bask sublimely
in the sun.
But when she reach a late puberty, she found
something infinitely more interesting to occupy
her time. She sometimes locked herself in the
bathroom for hours at a time, causing much
complaining and griping from family members
who needed to take care of more important
business. Her little brother Mikey liked to lie in
wait outside the bathroom door so that when
she finally emerged guiltily with one hand
covering her nose, he could toss a softball at her,
yelling "Think fast!" This would of course
force her to reveal her nose as she caught the

VOLUME 7 NUMBER IO

•

ball, and Mikey would then howl "Reggie the
red-nosed wierdo!" and race away down the
hall. Regina became good at one-handed
catches. She also became quite adept at hurling
the softball after Mikey's retreating form, and
got so that she could hit him square on the left
cheek just about every time, causing him to
squeal, "Mom, Regina hit me!"
One day Regina's mother cornered Regina in
the kitchen. Stubbing out her cigarette and
fixing Regina with a look of determination, she
said without preamble, "Regina, you're spending too much time in the bathroom."
"Huh? But Mom, I just . . ."
"No buts, young lady. I've been worried
about you for some time, and I've decided you
need some outside activities to take your mind
off your nose. I've joined you up with the girls'
softball team-they need a good pitcher, and I
told them you could pitch with one hand tied
behind your back. Besides, I'm sick of Mikey
whining at me about how you torment him .. ."
"Me, torment him!" cried Regina indignantly. "Mom, you never listen to my side of
the story! Mikey just hangs around just
waiting .. ."

" Now none of your lip, Regina Mathews.
You know I can't abide tattle-tales. Team practice begins on Friday after school."
Regina hung her head and kicked at the
comer of the stove.
" Geeeeawd, honey, " laughed Regina's mom.
"You're acting like it's the end of the world or
something. Just be glad I didn't buy a straightjacket."
Regina didn't actually mind joining the soft- ·
ball team, especially since that new girl at
school, Mavis Stein, was going to play on the
team. Mavis Stein had the nicest curly dark hair,
and she wore T-shirts with the sleeves rolled up,
and could out-arm-wresstle any boy in the
school, seniors included. And sometimes she
came to school with a red nose, which made
Regina wonder.
Because Regina was a dynamite pitcher, she
quickly gained Mavis' attention and respect,
and soon the two of them were palling around
in a very big way. Things began innocently
enough. The two of them would lock themselves away in Mavis' bedroom to "study the
finer points of softball." But one day after a
particularly enjoyable study session, as Regina

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

was idly running her hands up and down Mavis'
spine, her fingers suddenly stopped, and began
slowly circling around a small bump on Mavis'
left shoulderblade.
"Regina?" came Mavis' voice, muffled by
Regina's hair. There was no answer. Mavis
propped herself up on her elbows and looked
into Regina's face. "Regina Mathews, what are
you doing to my shoulder-b ... ouch, that
hurts!"
"Sorry," said Regina contritely. "l won't do
it again. I don't know what came over me."
A little later, after a long, sweet kiss, Regina
looked deeply into Mavis's brown eyes. Mavis,
lying on her back, returned the look with equal
rapture. But suddenly Regina's pupils dilated,
her focus shifted, her eyes crossed. Mavis saw
Regina's fingers come toward her nose like giant
pincers, and she a gave a shove and a twist and
bounded to the other side of the bed, taking up
her best fighting stance. "Ok, you wierdo, I
know what you're up to!"
"But Mavis, there's a great big one right in the
comer, and another one on the tip; you can't
expect me to just sit here and look at them, can
you?"
" No way! You know what you are, Regina?
You're wierd, that's what. You're perverted.
Don't come near me.
Regina went home with a heavy heart. How
could she have misjudged Mavis so completely?
And was Mavis right about Regina being wierd?
She felt confused and unhappy. That night she
composed a letter to the "Darling Darlene"
column in the newspaper:
Dear Darling Darlene,
I have a terrible confession romakeanddon't krwwwlw
else to tum to. Yau see, I can't keep my hands off myself. I
mean, whenever there's a blister or peeling skin, or well,
you krww, a zit, I've just got to mess with it. I can't stop
myself. And lately I've wanted to do it to other people. I
haven't told anyone else about this because I'm afraid I
might lose friends .
Signed, Finger-Happy

Darlene wrote back, saying:
Dear Finger,
First of all, let me reassure you; you are not alone! There
are other people out there just like you. But you're right to
question your behavior, and if you want to change that't the
first step. The next step is to talk to your clergyman. Let me
know what happens. I care. ·

Now Regina didn't even go to church, so she

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

(continued on page 2)

•

(405) 521-9696

The Grooming Instinct (cont.)

LET US HEAR YOUR VOICE

didn't think much of Darling Darlene's advice.
Instead, she decided that if there were other
people out there like her, maybe she could find
them and start a club or something. She wasn't
sure how she was going to go about recruiting
members; what would she say to a likely
prospect? "Excuse me, but do you pick? Are
you a connoisseur of blackheads? What's the
biggest piece of dead skin you ever pulled off in
one piece? Do you ever cancel dates due to a red
nose?" No, it would never work. She became
more depressed than ever, and to console
herself she worked on the best sunburn she'd
ever had. She wouldn't even look at Mavis Stein
at softball practice.
_ One evening after school as Regina was
plugging away at her algebra homework, the
front doorbell rang. Regina heard her mother
go to the door and have a low-voiced conversation with someone. Then she heard the
unmistakable clump of Mavis' feet taking the
stairs two at a time. And there was Mavis at her
door, looking downright contrite.
Regina stared at her from her desk, her pencil
poised over a particularly difficult equation.
Then she turned back to her books, a sour
expression on her face. "What do you want,
Mavis? I'm wierd, remember. Better watch out,
it might rub off."
"Aw, Regina, look, I'm really sorry. I miss
you. Can't we be friends again?"
There was an awkward silence. "Um, Regina,
I brought you a present." Mavis held out a box
of chocolates. "It's terrible for the complexion,
if you know what I mean."
Regina put down her pencil as a slow grin
spread across her face. In a flash they had their
shirts off and were rolling around on the bed in
a "skin-hug," as they liked to call it. And then
Mavis stopped, with a strange look on her face,
her fingers busy on Regina's back. She brought
her hands in front of her and held up two
papery sheets of dead skin, a look of complete
satisfaction on her face.
''Ah hah!'' howled Regina jubilantly. I knew
it! A closet picker."
"You 're right," sighed Mavis. "I've been one
for as long as I can remember. I guess I just
didn't want to admit it."
And that was the beginning of a beautiful
relationship. On occasion Mavis would suffer
fits of guilt, expressing concern about their
activities. She said she felt sinful and that she
didn't dare tell her friends who she really was.
But Regina would simply smile and say it was
all very natural; it was just .. . "the grooming
•
instinct."

Do you have an opinion about issues raised in the Voice, Herland activities, or other issues?
Let us hear from you. Does your group have an activity planned or an issue you want raised with
Voice readers? Let us hear from you.
The Herland Voice welcomes submission of non-fiction articles, poetry, and short fiction.
Typed double-spaced manuscripts are preferred. Manuscripts should be no longer than 1500
words.
Letters to the editor are also appreciated. All letters must be signed and include a return
address; however, letters may be published anonymously on request of the author. Letters to
the editor will be limited to a published length of 300 words.
The Voice committee would like to receive news from your organization. We are limiting the
number of flyers which can be inserted in the newsletter, but announcements of events of
interest to our readers will be published in the Voice.
Please mail your submissions to: Voice, 2312 N. W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112. Deadline
for each issue is the 5th of the preceding month (e.g. the deadline for the December issue is
November 5.)
•

2

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

KEEP THE VOICE COMING
The monthly cost for printing and mailing the Voice is approximately $500. If you
enjoy reading the Voice each month, please consider making a donation to help cover
these costs.
D Please add me to the mailing list for the Voice
D Please change my address
D I'd like to receive the Voice in a sealed envelope by first class mail. I'm enclosing
$7.00 for the additional cost.
Name: _ ________________________ _
Street: __________________ _______ _
City: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ State_____ Zip._ _ _ __

FALL PEACE FEST
Mark your calendar now for Saturday,
November 17, 1990. The Fifth Annual Fall
Peace Festival is scheduled from 11 a.m. to 6
p.m. at the First Christian Church, N.W.
36th and Walker in Oklahoma City.
Herland Sister Resources will be sharing a
table with the National Organization for
Women, selling books, tapes and gifts and
providing information and newsletters at the
Fest, which is sponsored and organized by
the Benedictine Peace House. Last year the
Peace Fest attracted more than fifty organizations, representing a variety of progressive
and social activist groups. This year the Peace
House promises Crafts and Artists, Children's Activity Corner, Peace Art Booth,
Exotic Foods and Patio Cafe, Weavings from
Guatemala, Pottery and Carving from
Mexico, and Entertainment all day by
Oklahoma's Talent Pool. Food Booth by
"The Earth."
And at 8:00 p.m., don't miss THE
THERAPY SISTERS in Concert! If you
weren't lucky enough to see and hear the
Therapy Sisters when Herland presented
them in concert earlier this year, now is your
chance! $5.00 donation at the door for the
•
concert.

UNICEF CARDS
(The Gift that Keeps on Giving)
Here is a partial list of outlets for
Unicef Holiday cards, a gift that might
save a child's life:
Churchwomen United
648 S.E. Wilshire Ave.
Bartlesville 74006
St. Stephens
400 W. New Orleans
Broken Arrow 74012
Southern Hill Christian
3207 S. Boulevard
Edmond, 73013
Frames 'N' Things
106 Plaza
Madill, 73446
United Ministries
1017 E. Elm
Norman, 73072
Church of the Servant
6009 NW Expressway
OKC 73132

Betty Bradshaw
107 N. Apache
Sallisaw, 74955
Jill Holmes
P.O. Box 981
Stillwater, 74076
The Learning Tree
7646 N. Western
OKC 73116
(Books & Puzzles,
no cards)
All Souls Unitarian
Tulsa
Pier One Stores
Oklahoma City

•DIVERSITY•SOLIDARITY•EMPOWEAMENT•
What .if 5,000 lesbians of all shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities
were to come together from around the country? And what if they
listened to each other? And learned from each other? And what if,
after four days of listening and learning, they returned to their
homes all over the country with a new respect and understanding of
how magnificently diverse and potentially powerful a community we
are? And what if this diverse community, with new insight and
understanding built coalitions on local, state, and regional levels
to work toward improving the lesbian nation's socioeconomic, legal,
and political status in this country?
What if •••• can be!

WE'RE DOING IT!

PLEASE,

JOIN US!

The National Lesbian Conference is scheduled for April 24-28, 1991,
in Atlanta, Georgia.
The goal of NLC is to provide a forum for ell
of the diverse populations of the lesbian community throughout the
United States.
It is a coming together of the Lesbian Nation.
We
need assistance to fund this effort.
If every lesbian in the nation
donated just $1.00 to this project, annual conferences could be
funded for the next three years.
Please help. Send a dollar - cash
or check - to:
NLC
P.O. Box 1999
Decatur, GA 30031
A CALL FOR:

WORKSHOPS

OR

Attn: Karen Lewis
NLC - Gulf Region
1932 NW 31th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73118

CAUCUSES

PANEL DISCUSSIONS

Proposals are now being sought to fill 400 slots for workshops and
panels in both traditional and non-traditional formats, to be held
at the national conference in Atlanta.
If you would like to help
coordinate a caucus or present, facilitate or organize sessions on
any topic concerning the lesbian community, please write the NLC
at the above address or call the national office for more information at (404) 373-0000.

1
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A woman-to-woman gathering finding
strength through our diversity. The National
Lesbian Conference is committed to safer
and accessible space for all lesbians. Join
us in celebrating the choice to relate across
differences and enjoy wommin from all the
various ways of lesbian lives. Meet me in

ATLANTA, GEORGIA
APRIL 24-28, 1991
*

...... .

•

. -.

.

\

STAFF CHANGES FOR
NORMAN WOMEN'S
RESOURCE CENTER
Norman . . . The Board of Directors of the
Women's Resource Center, Inc. (WRC) has
announced an administrative restructuring
and named former Shelter for Battered
Women Director, Jo Ann Smith, to the post
of WRC Executive Director.
Judy Harper Robinson, Center Director
since 1986, has been named Fiscal Administrator for the center and its various components, including the Norman Shelter for
Battered Women.
Prior to her appointment as WRC Executive Director, Ms. Smith served as a staff
member at the Shelter for 10 years, most
recently as Shelter Director. Prior to her
affiliation with the Shelter, she served as a
volunteer to the Rape Crisis Team and as a
member of the Battered Women's Task
Force in Greeley, Colorado. During her
tenure with the Norman Shelter, Ms. Smith
served as chairperson of the Oklahoma Coalition on Domestic Violence and Sexual
Assault and served as the Coalition's representative to the National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence.
Kristy Stewart, a former WRC volunteer
and a Shelter Advocate since·l985, has been
named to the position of Senior Shelter
Advocate of the Norman Shelter for Battered
•
Women.

·-··.

NONSENSE

The following "sayings," offered by Peggy
Johnson and Cindy Craven, are derived
from some famous statements and speaches.
Can you figure out what the real statements
were? If you have any similar adages, we will
be running a monthly column and welcome
submissions.

• There is some dash in the hair of grins which,
baked in the mud flees on to wader rings,
committed, all alike, and found in gallows
and mysteries.
• Of all foliage, the wine and food speak
mostly to show skinny elves.
• Freak and sea shell mind.
• Streak waftley and marry a pig hick.
• Delve alot and crawl to tell.
• Poor bores and heaven fears, ah-so.
• We mold these boothes to be irrelevant.
• Undermine that the train ran and sailed the
sun, and then sail we, fine, today.
• The hurl is a frito.
• I freed crummy help.
• Hired or petting nude? Desired at netting
school?

Skeeter
'J've tainted the love
6etween my cat and me.
She's not much of a meower 6ut prefers
to scratch once or twice al the door
so 'J'll let her in.
ooday she scratched.
'J glanced through the pane as 'J opened the door
And just in time noticed
her mouth was full of 6ird.
A live, wide-eyed 6ird that was looking
toward the freedom of the sky
One wing free
~ust let me go
'J'll µy away.
She wanted to 6ring the 6ird in, of course.
Her home
Her favorile place.
Of course she wants to 6ring the 6ird in.
And 'J'm her favorite person.
After two and a half years she finally let on
last montfi.
So she wants to show it to me
Show it to me.
But the 6ird is tasting ~eedom,
life she's tasting that 6ird.
"f.et it go!"
"f.et the 6ird go!"
ohe cal, of course, is wide-eyed too
and really needs to come in, she thinks.
'J go out.
'J gra6 her neck skin life she's a kitten.
"f.et the 6ird go!"
(Does gra66ing their necks make them open
their mouths or close them tighter?)
'J let go.

'] gra6 her neck again and pull the hair on lop of

her head
When she was a little kitten
Sfie had a 6u33 hair cut
So cute
So happy to 6e alive with her
little 6u33 hair cut.
'] pull her hair and the 6ird almost gets ~ee.
'Js she clamping down tighter?
Why'd she 6ring it here?
Cats catch 6irds, after all.
But don't 6ring it home
wide-eyed looking for ~eedom.
'] do the pull routine one more time.
ohe 6ird knows the split second of ~eedom and
nies nies nies
Straightaway
across the street
~ee free ~ee
She let the bird go!
No, she senses, you let the 6ird go.
'J feel good 'J let the 6ird go.
'J feel 6ad 'J interfered with cat things.

'] have tainted the love
6etween my cat and me.
Will she forget 'J'm her favorite person?
6y Peggy 9olinson

BE A PART OF HERLAND
Herland is the collective effort of the
women of Oklahoma. You can be a part of
creating and sustaining this very special
community we call Herland. Join a committee, volunteer to work in the resource
center, or make a contribution to help
meet the monthly expenses. Herland will
be what you make it.

YES, I want to help Herland continue
to grow.
D I'm interested in working on a committe. Please have the committee
chair call me.
PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister
Resources, Inc. 2312 NW 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE:
Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox, Pat
Reaves

D I'd like to volunteer at Herland.
Please have the volunteer coordinator call me with more information.
D Here's my contribution of _ _ __
to help support Herland.
Name: _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

CIRCULATION: 750

Phone - - - - - - - - - - - -

GENERAL INFO: (405) 521-9696 (leave
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Address - - - - - - - - - - City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

SUBSCRIPTIONS to the Her/and Voice
are free upon request.

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HSR NOVEMBER 1990 3

REPRODUCTIVE
FREEDOM UPDATE
by Margaret Cox
The Oklahoma Coalition to Restrict Abortions has gathered 108,000 signatures on a
petition calling for a statewide vote for a new
abortion law, one which advocates say would
shut abortion clinics throughout the state.
The petition goes first to the Secretary of
State Hannah Atkins' office for counting of
the signatures, and next to the state Supreme
Court, where challenges to both the signatures and the content of the proposed law
may be brought.
Pro-Choice advocates have established
The Choice Legal Defense Fund to fight
efforts to get the abortion question on a
state-wide ballot. The CLDF will of necessity
be doing fundraising and accepting donations. As this newsletter goes to press we do
not have an address or telephone number for
them. Campaign for Choice, however, is still
active; you may call them at (918) 749-5877
or (405) 842-3791.
Women throughout the country were
alarmed and worried following the Supreme
Court's Webster decision in the summer of
1.989, and we rallied and worked and gave
time and money to maintain our right to
make our own reproductive decisions. In
Oklahoma, we have been successful in maintaining the status quo: it was abundantly
clear to our legislature that Oklahoma is
pro-choice.
However, we must be careful to recognize
that this is a temporary victory. New Supreme
Court Justice David Souter has been careful
not to give his opinion on Roe v. Wade and a
woman's right to choose an abortion; but
National NOW and other progressive organizations believe that his confirmation to the
Supreme Court gives the Court a 5-4
majority to overturn Roe. Additionally, there
are virulently anti-choice candidates running
for office here in Oklahoma, in competition
for the governor's office on down. If we elect
pro-choice candidates in November we will
give ourselves a margin of safety in the fight to
come next year.
Even though we may not like some of the
pro-choice candidates very much, women
who want to protect their reproductive
freedom are going to have to get out there and
not only vote pro-choice, but put some time
in on campaign work also.
Remember: if you don't vote, you can't
•
gripe about it!

4

•

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

ACLU AIDS PROJECT TO
FOCUS ON WOMEN AND
CHILDREN WITH AIDS
In a significant broadening of its AIDS
work, the American Civil Liberties Union has
added a new staff lawyer to work specifically
on issues revolving around HIV infection in
women and children.
1'.1e new lawyer, Elizabeth Cooper, has
received a one-year fellowship from the New
York law firm of Skadden, Arps, Meagher,
Slate & Flom, to pioneer test cases for this
growing and underrepresented population.
Cooper, a 1988 graduate of New York
University Law School, joins the ACLU's
ongoing AIDS Project. She joins 9 other
full time ACLU lawyers who are now working
on AIDS and gay rights issues around the
country.
"The idea of the Skadden fellowships is to
serve people who would not otherwise get
legal representation," Cooper said. "My goal
is to provide legal services to the poor women
and children who constitute the next wave of
people to be hit hardest by AIDS."
With courts just now beginning to address
legal questions arising from the high rates of
HIV infection among women and children
Cooper said she plans to initiate test cases i~
several areas. Most important, she said, are
developing ways of increasing basic levels of
health care for women and children and of
ensuring better access for women to drug
trials.
"The women and children at greatest risk
for HIV disease also happen to the people
most disenfranchised from the health-care
system, the support-services system and the
legal system because they most often are poor
and people of color," Cooper said.
W. B. Rubenstein, Director of the ACLU's
national AIDS Project, said the Skadden
fellowship will allow his project to continue
broadening its scope to an even greater focus
on access to care and treatment.
"For the last three years, the ACLU AIDS
Project has been a leader in fighting discrimination and protecting the civil rights of
persons with HIV disease," Rubenstein said.
"With Cooper's work, we will now be able to
push even harder to develop cases of lifealtering consequences for poor women and
their children."
Cooper, a Root-Tilden-Snow Scholar at
NYU Law School, has written previously
about HIV disease. She published "AIDS
Law: The Impact of AIDS on American
Schools and Prisons" in NYU's Annual
Survey of American Law.
The Skadden Fellowship Program annually
a~ards 25 fellowships to help lawyers provide better legal services to the poor, disabled,
homeless, elderly and those deprived of their
•
human and civil rights.

TENS OF THOUSANDS
CONTACTING CONGRESS
Washington, DC - The Human Rights Campaign Fund, the largest national lesbian and
gay political organization, and the organizers
of the National Coming Out Day (which is
held each year on October 11th) announced
a program of broad participation of lesbians
and gays and their supporters in the largest
grassroots lobbying effort in the history of
the lesbian and gay rights movement.
"1990 has been a year of remarkable
legislative successes for the lesbian and gay
community. Many of those successes have
in part stemmed from growing participation
in the "Speak Out" program around the
country," noted Tim Mcfeeley, Executive
Director of the Human Rights Campaign
Fund. "This is a remarkable story that has
been missed by many writers who are analyzing the impact of the lesbian and gay community on the political process."
"The 'Speak Out' program allows both
lesbian and gay and non-gay people to
express their opinions to their representatives when it is most effective, immediately
before critical AIDS and civil rights votes on
Capitol Hill," Mcfeeley states. "Our supporters are taking an aggressive and positive
approach to the issues that affect us."
Noting that many supporters of lesbian
and gay rights "have the ability or opportunity" to march, demonstrate or come to
Washington to lobby their Representatives
and Senators face to face, Mcfeeley stated
that the "Speak Out" program "presents an
opportunity for every American who supports our issues to register their opinions at
the appropriate moment in the political
debate."
The "Speak Out" program, with 45,000
participants this year, has activated messages
to Congress 42 times in the past 18 months
sending 170,000 messages on lesbian and
gay civil rights and health issues, including
AIJ?~ · During that period, lesbian and gay
activists have achieved more legislative
victories in the lesbian and gay rights movement. Major successes have included the
passage of the Americans with Disabilities
Act, the Hate Crimes Statistics Act, and the
Comprehensive AIDS Resource Emergency
Act.
Mcfeeley stated that the "Speak Out"
program ensures that members of Congress
know that they have constituents who support lesbian and gay rights and gives supporters an opportunity to participate in the
political process in an effective way. "Folks
in Boise, Idaho, Birmingham, Alabama,
Schenectady, New York and El Paso, Texas
have joined their colleagues in San Francisco
and New York in the Fight for Fairness," he
stated.
•

GJ My Sisters

[ooking

Upon 'Ghinking of Ruth

Do not,
not for a minute

Slie wanders tlie streets alone,
(ooking this way and that;

9 would like to write a line
tliat would make a difference

think

[ooking for a liome.
Slie's looking for love
And attention.
olie only one who loved lier'
[eft lier.
olie only one who cared,
Deserted lier.
Slie gets kicked around,
Slie gets teased and put down .
So she goes to lay in
:-i-~

my love for you
is not self interest;
9t is, and more:
9t is affirmation
of myself,
beatification
of my motlier,

6lessings
on my daughter:
it anchors me;

olie corner, lifting
Her saddened eyes
(ooking for something she'll

'Jor eacli of you
renects more of me
than 9 sometimes
can acknowledge;

i-' .,

to someone, somewhere- if
only for a moment.
A line that would touch
an open wound- and cause it to heal,
that would touch a frightened soul
and make lier Grave.
A line that would touch a heart
and bring it back to me.
9 would like to write that line.
But 9 wonder now if 9 would

write it to you.
6y

Never find.

c

6y Michelle K.

•••••

and each of you
9 manifest.
9f 9 could love
my brothers
as 9 do you,
9 would encompass
the world.

Always Accoustic

Ode ~ Midnight
Cat.

6y

M.O.C

Scat cat,

When the light racks at Angles run out of juice
When the smoke and lasers no longer entice
olie dancers to come out
9'll still Ge playing acoustic
[ong as 9 got an idea 9 will use it
oo make ~ean a new song to listen to.

Black cat,
Witches cat,
Halloween cat,

6y Peggy ~·

Scroungy cat,
Scruffy cat,
Skinny cat
Alley cat,

Self-Love

Poor cat,
Hi, Cat,
My cat,

9 once saw a woman, m an open market place,

Qetting her ears pierced.
9 had often seen sucli people, always with

Meow.

a crowd around them,
Watching their beloved in movement

~ust 'Goo Much
'Ooo much love
But none for me
ooo many wounds
All to my soul
ooo many red drops
All from inside
ooo much pain
When will it stop?
ooo many friends
But 9'm all alone.

•

6y Miclielle K.

taC
tac tacS
tac kcalB
tac sehctilU
tac neewollaH
tac ygnuorcS

Cat.

Scat cat,
Black cat,
Witclies cat,
Halloween cat,
Scroungy cat,
tac yffurcS Scruffy cat,
tac ynnikS Skinny cat
tac yellA Alley cat,
tac rooP Poor cat,
tac ,iH Hi, Cat,
tac yM My cat,

woeM Meow.

of outward expression.
Well, this particular woman had none
Other than me
!Jet she had sucli a jubilant look in her face;
Such expectation, such happiness
As 9 liave never Geen able to define.
9 know she must have had someone
waiting, somewhere,

Whom she could show lier pri3e.
9 liave never known one
who could drink so much joy
only for lier self.
by Peggy ~olinson

by M.O.C.

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

5

The Oklahoma State National Organization for Women will hold its State Council
Meeting on Sat., Nov. 17 at noon in Stillwater, 1223 Preston Avenue. All NOW
members are welcome to attend .. . ..
The Benedictine Peace House is sponsoring a Mideast Forum - "U.S. Involvement in the Middle East" in Fri., Nov. 2, at 8 p.m. at St. Luke's United Methodist
Church Hospitality Room, 222 N.W. 15th St., OKC. Speakers include Raymond
Habiby, Ph.D, Professor Emeritus of Political Science at OSU; Jeff Hamilton, Okla.
State Representative; and Hazih Zuhdi, M.D., Moslem Community Leader ... .
GOOD NEWS: On October 9, 1990, the Supreme Court left intact an affirmative
action program plan for hiring and promoting more minorities and women in San
Francisco's fire department. Let's hope it's a trend .. . ..
November 6 is ELECTION DAY. Get out there and exercise the right that people
fight and die for; some races are won or lost by a few votes; let's make sure that the
Herland voice is counted. First Class Citizens vote, and that means women! .....
Thanks to all who participated in the Ton '0 Pennies fundraiser. The winner
donated 29 pounds of pennies to Herland. A total of $234.57 in pennies was donated.
Donna D. entertained us with her wonderful music and humor, and a good time was had
by all. ....
The Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt will be on display Nov. 30 through Dec. 2
at the Maxwell Convention Center in Tulsa. Any locally produced panels must be
submitted by Wed., Nov. 21. For more info. contact Val Bode at 749-0063 or write:
The Oklahoma Names Project, P.O. Box 702225, Tulsa, OK 74170 .. . ..
The Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum will hold the 1991 National Gay &
Lesbian Conference in Los Angeles, CA Feb. 13 - 18, 1991. The Black Gay and Lesbian
Leadership Forum is dedicated to empowering the Black gay and lesbian community and
its organizations . ... .
Do you know a child dreading the prospect of being required to dissect a cat, frog or
other animal or face a failing grade in biology? Have her/him call the Dissection Hotline
at 1-800-922-FROG for help in resisting this requirement and in finding suitable
alternatives .. . .. ·
The Oklahoma Women's Network has valuable information on the candidates'
stands in the upcoming election. To join OWN and receive their newsletter write OWN,
P.O. Box 14339, Tulsa, OK 74159-1339 . . .. .
CHILD CUSTODY: A local chapter of the Committee for Mother and Child Rights,
Inc., has recently been formed in Oklahoma. Women are losing custody upon divorce at
an alarming rate, as judges tend to ignore or deny the importance of awarding custody to
the "nurturing parent:" the parent who was the primary caregiver. The CMCR is a
national organization fighting for legal, judicial and legislative reform of a system that is
clearly backlashing against women and our new-found freedoms. For more info on the
local CMCR chapter, contact Colette Warkentin, 708 SW SOth, OKC, OK 73109;
( 405) 634-3910. (Info courtesy of the Oklahoma Women's Network.) .....
MAGAZINES AND PERIODICALS WANTED! Do you currently subscribe to a
wonderful, progressive magazine, newsletter or periodical, one that you wish everyone in
the world could read? If so, take a step in that direction and give Herland a gift
subscription. We would welcome subscriptions to the "mainstream" progressive rags
like Off Our Backs, the new MS., the Progressive, In These Times, On The Issues,
Mother Jones, Utne Reader, etc, but would also love to have available the lesser known
ones. If you want to send us a subscription and don't want to duplicate a subscription
(though we wouldn't at all mind having more than one copy of many of these!), give us a
call at ( 405) 521-9696; leave a message during the week and we will call you back, or call
during store hours on the weekends.
6

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

JEWISH LESBIAN
DAUGHTERS OF
HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS
TO HOLD FALL MEETING
IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
In this last decade of the twentieth century,
waves of antisemitism and anti-Jewish violence are sweeping much of the world. Jewish
cemetaries are being desecrated, and reports
of attacks and defacements from Paris,
London, Stuttgart, Jerusalem, Moscow,
Auckland, Quebec, and throughout the
United States indicate a resurgence of racism
and antisemitism. Modern demagogues are
revising history by belittling, and even
denying, the Holocaust.
But the reality that was the Holocaust
continues to have an impact on the second
and third generation of those who survived.
On the weekend of November 16-18, in New
Hampshire, Jewish Lesbian Daughters of
Holocaust Survivors OLDHS) will meet for
discussion, support, and networking around
issues faced by children of survivors. JLDHS
has become an international organization,
with people from Australia and Nicaragua in
addition to its members from the United
States and Canada. The membership grows
each year as more Lesbian daughters of
survivors learn of the existence of this unique
support group.
JLDHS is for lesbians whose parent or
parents survived the Holocaust. This includes parents who were in nazi Europe or
North Africa in 1933 or later and who
survived death camps or in hiding, by passing
as non-Jews, or by managing to leave for safer
territories. Jewish and non-Jewish lesbian
partners of daughters are welcomed, and may
attend workshops specifically for partners.
For further information write Box 6194,
Boston, MA 02114, or call (617) 321-4254. •

··---}(. J ~

THE QUILT IN TULSA
Hundreds of panels of the NAMES Project
AIDS Memorial Quilt, an international
memorial to those who have died of AIDS,
will be on display in Tulsa, beginning Friday,
November 30 from 5:30 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.,
through December 2, 1990, at Tulsa's
Maxwell Convention Center, 100 Civic
Center.
This is the first time the Quilt has been on
display in Tulsa. Over 800 panels, or less
than 7% of the entire Quilt, will be on
display through the weekend. More than 1.5
million people, in the U.S. and around the
world, have seen the Quilt since its first
display in October 1987.
•

'Glie Beaclicom6er
Silent,
searching eyes
and slow feel
my only moving parts,
clasped liands 6eliind my 6ack
6allast for a forward stoop,
concentration so profound
reality warps;
9 am all focus,
a laser of intent;
yet all dispersed:
surely tfie sun must feel
more 6oundaries tlian 9.

A sliard,
a fragment

of a perfed sliell,
9 find;
and liold it in my moutfi,
a talisman,
love it respectfully
witli my tongue;
not tucked in my clieek
like a wad of gum;
on my tongue it lies in state,
6ecomes as mucli a part of me as
tlie motlier's milk
my tongue remem6ers;
witli tfie power of tfie sliard in me
9 will find its mate, as full
and complete
as 9.

~

/,

6yJlto.C.

PHOTO BY GINGER McGOVERN

Soulstice

Qood-6ye, dear motlier

all along my sundry selves talking
Gack and fortli across tfie continents
of my mind
deep within across tfie heavens whispering
tlirougli tfie stars comes a voice
speaking gently, quietly . ..
6eckoning: listen to my call
come to me, for you know
tlie spring of wisdom nows
in calm canyons, deep caverns
and over valley liills,
tlirougli misty morning gardens
wliere dying nowers and sprouting seedlings
know tfieir 6eauties equally.

oo my dearest motlier,
9 sliould've written years ago,
But 9 put it off
9 didn't want to say 6ye.

ft
DISPLAY ADS:

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One day 6led into another
Soon-9 never tfiouglit you'd go.
Some would like to scoff
olie tears for me, tliat 9 cry.
Anger and grief 9 always smotlier
oill al many times 9'd 6low,
Cutting in my soul a deep trougli,
Ulisliing you didn't liave to die.

$ 15.00
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CLASSIFIED ADS:
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~

6y Miclielle K.

none
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PLEASE NOTE: There wlll 1Ht • minimal

charge for typesetting done to any
advertising.

Leave message for Ginger at HSR,
(521-WMYN/ to place an ad.

De6orali 'Jox

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

7

Edwina V. Johnson, D.D.S.
"Catering to Cowards needing Tender Care"
in Comprehensive Dentistry

Kay Killgore, M.Ed.

5009 North Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 103
(405) 840-5410

Woman to Woman Counseling

Night & Sunday practice by appt. only
Emergencies welcome

1010 N.W. 45th
· Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73118
(405) 524-1062

Insurance accepted

~usie

'f

outhwell,

Mowing • Fertlllzlng • Trimming
• Light Hauling •

M. Ed.

"We Are Insured"

COUNSELOR
2912 N. Clauen, Suite 1 0 2 - - - - - T
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73106,..__ _
Telephone: (405) 556-4105

KAY
794·0081

SANDIE
794-6884

Comprehensive Dental Care

Sam L. Nicolosi, D.V.M.

Office Hours By Appointment

Debra K. Brouming, R.Ph, D.D.S.
5009 N. Pennsylvania, Suite 103
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
(405) 843-3281

NICOLOSI ANIMAL HOSPITAL
COUPON

4015 N.W. 23rd
Oklahoma City

by Appointment
Phone ( 405) 947-5545

COUPON

COUPON

10°/o OFF ANY DENTAL VISIT
WITH THIS COUPON!
EXPIRES 9/30/90

TREAT YOURSELT TO THE "TOUCH OF GOLD."
Treat your special someone, too, for $10 off her massage!

848-5429

ooucfi of Qold
HEALTHFUL • STRESS RELIEVING MASSAGE
Special
discounts
available
to all
Herland
readers!

6y

Melanie ~· McKiddy
MASSAGE THERAPIST
360-6945

"Portable"
massage
table
available
for your
cont1enience.

BEST and WOODY

SHIRLEY M. HUNTER, M.Ed.
LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR

Emphasis on the problems of gay people.
PENN PARK OFFICE COMPLEX e SUITE 102
5009 N. PENNSYLVANIA e OKLAHOMA CITY, OK73112

366-0923

Marilyn Best & Coleen Woody
1518 N.W 29th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73106
(405) 525-2174

GENERAL PRACTICE OF LAW
including but not limited to
WILLS • CONTRACTS • DIVORCE
BANKRUPTCY • ADOPTION .

HELEN HOLGATE
Certified Alcoholism & Drug Abuse
Counselor



do~HERLAND ~
NOVEMBER 1990

ICE

THE GROOMING INSTINCT
a short story by R.L.S.
Regina Mathews was a picker . Not of
produce, although she had done that on occasion, but of something far more exciting. She
picked .. . things . . . from her person. From the
time she could control her fingers she had
picked at anything that even had a remote
promise of being removable. It began with the
plastic covering on her disposable diapers, and
to her mother's dismay, she soon became adept
at pulling off the little tabs that kept the diapers
in place. Consequently she was graduated to
cloth diapers, which Regina's mother pretended
to her friends was due to ecological considerations.
Soon Regina grew old enough to run and
skip, climb trees, build forts, ride bicycles, and
enjoy other similar girlish pursuits. W hen the
inevitable scraped knee occurred, she would
quickly dry her eyes and smile to herself,
knowing that the pain was worth the fun she
would have in a few days. She would wait until
the wound was nearly healed, then pick around
the edges of the scab.
"Regina, stop picking at that, you'll make a
scar," her mother would admonish. "Mom, I'm
just checking it," would be Regina's reply. And
of course the scab would come off and the
scrape would bleed a little and a new scab would
form ... with little effort Regina could get one
scrape to last for several weeks.
Another favorite activity was to deliberately
play in the sun too long just so that she could
burn to a crisp and reap the harvest of her
sacrifice when she began to peel.
"Regina, you're going to die of skin cancer
before you 're fifteen," her mother would wail.
But Regina, like all people under 30, was
absolutely convinced of her immortality and
invincibility, and continued to bask sublimely
in the sun.
But when she reach a late puberty, she found
something infinitely more interesting to occupy
her time. She sometimes locked herself in the
bathroom for hours at a time, causing much
complaining and griping from family members
who needed to take care of more important
business. Her little brother Mikey liked to lie in
wait outside the bathroom door so that when
she finally emerged guiltily with one hand
covering her nose, he could toss a softball at her,
yelling "Think fast!" This would of course
force her to reveal her nose as she caught the

VOLUME 7 NUMBER IO

•

ball, and Mikey would then howl "Reggie the
red-nosed wierdo!" and race away down the
hall. Regina became good at one-handed
catches. She also became quite adept at hurling
the softball after Mikey's retreating form, and
got so that she could hit him square on the left
cheek just about every time, causing him to
squeal, "Mom, Regina hit me!"
One day Regina's mother cornered Regina in
the kitchen. Stubbing out her cigarette and
fixing Regina with a look of determination, she
said without preamble, "Regina, you're spending too much time in the bathroom."
"Huh? But Mom, I just . . ."
"No buts, young lady. I've been worried
about you for some time, and I've decided you
need some outside activities to take your mind
off your nose. I've joined you up with the girls'
softball team-they need a good pitcher, and I
told them you could pitch with one hand tied
behind your back. Besides, I'm sick of Mikey
whining at me about how you torment him .. ."
"Me, torment him!" cried Regina indignantly. "Mom, you never listen to my side of
the story! Mikey just hangs around just
waiting .. ."

" Now none of your lip, Regina Mathews.
You know I can't abide tattle-tales. Team practice begins on Friday after school."
Regina hung her head and kicked at the
comer of the stove.
" Geeeeawd, honey, " laughed Regina's mom.
"You're acting like it's the end of the world or
something. Just be glad I didn't buy a straightjacket."
Regina didn't actually mind joining the soft- ·
ball team, especially since that new girl at
school, Mavis Stein, was going to play on the
team. Mavis Stein had the nicest curly dark hair,
and she wore T-shirts with the sleeves rolled up,
and could out-arm-wresstle any boy in the
school, seniors included. And sometimes she
came to school with a red nose, which made
Regina wonder.
Because Regina was a dynamite pitcher, she
quickly gained Mavis' attention and respect,
and soon the two of them were palling around
in a very big way. Things began innocently
enough. The two of them would lock themselves away in Mavis' bedroom to "study the
finer points of softball." But one day after a
particularly enjoyable study session, as Regina

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

was idly running her hands up and down Mavis'
spine, her fingers suddenly stopped, and began
slowly circling around a small bump on Mavis'
left shoulderblade.
"Regina?" came Mavis' voice, muffled by
Regina's hair. There was no answer. Mavis
propped herself up on her elbows and looked
into Regina's face. "Regina Mathews, what are
you doing to my shoulder-b ... ouch, that
hurts!"
"Sorry," said Regina contritely. "l won't do
it again. I don't know what came over me."
A little later, after a long, sweet kiss, Regina
looked deeply into Mavis's brown eyes. Mavis,
lying on her back, returned the look with equal
rapture. But suddenly Regina's pupils dilated,
her focus shifted, her eyes crossed. Mavis saw
Regina's fingers come toward her nose like giant
pincers, and she a gave a shove and a twist and
bounded to the other side of the bed, taking up
her best fighting stance. "Ok, you wierdo, I
know what you're up to!"
"But Mavis, there's a great big one right in the
comer, and another one on the tip; you can't
expect me to just sit here and look at them, can
you?"
" No way! You know what you are, Regina?
You're wierd, that's what. You're perverted.
Don't come near me.
Regina went home with a heavy heart. How
could she have misjudged Mavis so completely?
And was Mavis right about Regina being wierd?
She felt confused and unhappy. That night she
composed a letter to the "Darling Darlene"
column in the newspaper:
Dear Darling Darlene,
I have a terrible confession romakeanddon't krwwwlw
else to tum to. Yau see, I can't keep my hands off myself. I
mean, whenever there's a blister or peeling skin, or well,
you krww, a zit, I've just got to mess with it. I can't stop
myself. And lately I've wanted to do it to other people. I
haven't told anyone else about this because I'm afraid I
might lose friends .
Signed, Finger-Happy

Darlene wrote back, saying:
Dear Finger,
First of all, let me reassure you; you are not alone! There
are other people out there just like you. But you're right to
question your behavior, and if you want to change that't the
first step. The next step is to talk to your clergyman. Let me
know what happens. I care. ·

Now Regina didn't even go to church, so she

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

(continued on page 2)

•

(405) 521-9696

The Grooming Instinct (cont.)

LET US HEAR YOUR VOICE

didn't think much of Darling Darlene's advice.
Instead, she decided that if there were other
people out there like her, maybe she could find
them and start a club or something. She wasn't
sure how she was going to go about recruiting
members; what would she say to a likely
prospect? "Excuse me, but do you pick? Are
you a connoisseur of blackheads? What's the
biggest piece of dead skin you ever pulled off in
one piece? Do you ever cancel dates due to a red
nose?" No, it would never work. She became
more depressed than ever, and to console
herself she worked on the best sunburn she'd
ever had. She wouldn't even look at Mavis Stein
at softball practice.
_ One evening after school as Regina was
plugging away at her algebra homework, the
front doorbell rang. Regina heard her mother
go to the door and have a low-voiced conversation with someone. Then she heard the
unmistakable clump of Mavis' feet taking the
stairs two at a time. And there was Mavis at her
door, looking downright contrite.
Regina stared at her from her desk, her pencil
poised over a particularly difficult equation.
Then she turned back to her books, a sour
expression on her face. "What do you want,
Mavis? I'm wierd, remember. Better watch out,
it might rub off."
"Aw, Regina, look, I'm really sorry. I miss
you. Can't we be friends again?"
There was an awkward silence. "Um, Regina,
I brought you a present." Mavis held out a box
of chocolates. "It's terrible for the complexion,
if you know what I mean."
Regina put down her pencil as a slow grin
spread across her face. In a flash they had their
shirts off and were rolling around on the bed in
a "skin-hug," as they liked to call it. And then
Mavis stopped, with a strange look on her face,
her fingers busy on Regina's back. She brought
her hands in front of her and held up two
papery sheets of dead skin, a look of complete
satisfaction on her face.
''Ah hah!'' howled Regina jubilantly. I knew
it! A closet picker."
"You 're right," sighed Mavis. "I've been one
for as long as I can remember. I guess I just
didn't want to admit it."
And that was the beginning of a beautiful
relationship. On occasion Mavis would suffer
fits of guilt, expressing concern about their
activities. She said she felt sinful and that she
didn't dare tell her friends who she really was.
But Regina would simply smile and say it was
all very natural; it was just .. . "the grooming
•
instinct."

Do you have an opinion about issues raised in the Voice, Herland activities, or other issues?
Let us hear from you. Does your group have an activity planned or an issue you want raised with
Voice readers? Let us hear from you.
The Herland Voice welcomes submission of non-fiction articles, poetry, and short fiction.
Typed double-spaced manuscripts are preferred. Manuscripts should be no longer than 1500
words.
Letters to the editor are also appreciated. All letters must be signed and include a return
address; however, letters may be published anonymously on request of the author. Letters to
the editor will be limited to a published length of 300 words.
The Voice committee would like to receive news from your organization. We are limiting the
number of flyers which can be inserted in the newsletter, but announcements of events of
interest to our readers will be published in the Voice.
Please mail your submissions to: Voice, 2312 N. W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112. Deadline
for each issue is the 5th of the preceding month (e.g. the deadline for the December issue is
November 5.)
•

2

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

KEEP THE VOICE COMING
The monthly cost for printing and mailing the Voice is approximately $500. If you
enjoy reading the Voice each month, please consider making a donation to help cover
these costs.
D Please add me to the mailing list for the Voice
D Please change my address
D I'd like to receive the Voice in a sealed envelope by first class mail. I'm enclosing
$7.00 for the additional cost.
Name: _ ________________________ _
Street: __________________ _______ _
City: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ State_____ Zip._ _ _ __

FALL PEACE FEST
Mark your calendar now for Saturday,
November 17, 1990. The Fifth Annual Fall
Peace Festival is scheduled from 11 a.m. to 6
p.m. at the First Christian Church, N.W.
36th and Walker in Oklahoma City.
Herland Sister Resources will be sharing a
table with the National Organization for
Women, selling books, tapes and gifts and
providing information and newsletters at the
Fest, which is sponsored and organized by
the Benedictine Peace House. Last year the
Peace Fest attracted more than fifty organizations, representing a variety of progressive
and social activist groups. This year the Peace
House promises Crafts and Artists, Children's Activity Corner, Peace Art Booth,
Exotic Foods and Patio Cafe, Weavings from
Guatemala, Pottery and Carving from
Mexico, and Entertainment all day by
Oklahoma's Talent Pool. Food Booth by
"The Earth."
And at 8:00 p.m., don't miss THE
THERAPY SISTERS in Concert! If you
weren't lucky enough to see and hear the
Therapy Sisters when Herland presented
them in concert earlier this year, now is your
chance! $5.00 donation at the door for the
•
concert.

UNICEF CARDS
(The Gift that Keeps on Giving)
Here is a partial list of outlets for
Unicef Holiday cards, a gift that might
save a child's life:
Churchwomen United
648 S.E. Wilshire Ave.
Bartlesville 74006
St. Stephens
400 W. New Orleans
Broken Arrow 74012
Southern Hill Christian
3207 S. Boulevard
Edmond, 73013
Frames 'N' Things
106 Plaza
Madill, 73446
United Ministries
1017 E. Elm
Norman, 73072
Church of the Servant
6009 NW Expressway
OKC 73132

Betty Bradshaw
107 N. Apache
Sallisaw, 74955
Jill Holmes
P.O. Box 981
Stillwater, 74076
The Learning Tree
7646 N. Western
OKC 73116
(Books & Puzzles,
no cards)
All Souls Unitarian
Tulsa
Pier One Stores
Oklahoma City

•DIVERSITY•SOLIDARITY•EMPOWEAMENT•
What .if 5,000 lesbians of all shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities
were to come together from around the country? And what if they
listened to each other? And learned from each other? And what if,
after four days of listening and learning, they returned to their
homes all over the country with a new respect and understanding of
how magnificently diverse and potentially powerful a community we
are? And what if this diverse community, with new insight and
understanding built coalitions on local, state, and regional levels
to work toward improving the lesbian nation's socioeconomic, legal,
and political status in this country?
What if •••• can be!

WE'RE DOING IT!

PLEASE,

JOIN US!

The National Lesbian Conference is scheduled for April 24-28, 1991,
in Atlanta, Georgia.
The goal of NLC is to provide a forum for ell
of the diverse populations of the lesbian community throughout the
United States.
It is a coming together of the Lesbian Nation.
We
need assistance to fund this effort.
If every lesbian in the nation
donated just $1.00 to this project, annual conferences could be
funded for the next three years.
Please help. Send a dollar - cash
or check - to:
NLC
P.O. Box 1999
Decatur, GA 30031
A CALL FOR:

WORKSHOPS

OR

Attn: Karen Lewis
NLC - Gulf Region
1932 NW 31th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73118

CAUCUSES

PANEL DISCUSSIONS

Proposals are now being sought to fill 400 slots for workshops and
panels in both traditional and non-traditional formats, to be held
at the national conference in Atlanta.
If you would like to help
coordinate a caucus or present, facilitate or organize sessions on
any topic concerning the lesbian community, please write the NLC
at the above address or call the national office for more information at (404) 373-0000.

1
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A woman-to-woman gathering finding
strength through our diversity. The National
Lesbian Conference is committed to safer
and accessible space for all lesbians. Join
us in celebrating the choice to relate across
differences and enjoy wommin from all the
various ways of lesbian lives. Meet me in

ATLANTA, GEORGIA
APRIL 24-28, 1991
*

...... .

•

. -.

.

\

STAFF CHANGES FOR
NORMAN WOMEN'S
RESOURCE CENTER
Norman . . . The Board of Directors of the
Women's Resource Center, Inc. (WRC) has
announced an administrative restructuring
and named former Shelter for Battered
Women Director, Jo Ann Smith, to the post
of WRC Executive Director.
Judy Harper Robinson, Center Director
since 1986, has been named Fiscal Administrator for the center and its various components, including the Norman Shelter for
Battered Women.
Prior to her appointment as WRC Executive Director, Ms. Smith served as a staff
member at the Shelter for 10 years, most
recently as Shelter Director. Prior to her
affiliation with the Shelter, she served as a
volunteer to the Rape Crisis Team and as a
member of the Battered Women's Task
Force in Greeley, Colorado. During her
tenure with the Norman Shelter, Ms. Smith
served as chairperson of the Oklahoma Coalition on Domestic Violence and Sexual
Assault and served as the Coalition's representative to the National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence.
Kristy Stewart, a former WRC volunteer
and a Shelter Advocate since·l985, has been
named to the position of Senior Shelter
Advocate of the Norman Shelter for Battered
•
Women.

·-··.

NONSENSE

The following "sayings," offered by Peggy
Johnson and Cindy Craven, are derived
from some famous statements and speaches.
Can you figure out what the real statements
were? If you have any similar adages, we will
be running a monthly column and welcome
submissions.

• There is some dash in the hair of grins which,
baked in the mud flees on to wader rings,
committed, all alike, and found in gallows
and mysteries.
• Of all foliage, the wine and food speak
mostly to show skinny elves.
• Freak and sea shell mind.
• Streak waftley and marry a pig hick.
• Delve alot and crawl to tell.
• Poor bores and heaven fears, ah-so.
• We mold these boothes to be irrelevant.
• Undermine that the train ran and sailed the
sun, and then sail we, fine, today.
• The hurl is a frito.
• I freed crummy help.
• Hired or petting nude? Desired at netting
school?

Skeeter
'J've tainted the love
6etween my cat and me.
She's not much of a meower 6ut prefers
to scratch once or twice al the door
so 'J'll let her in.
ooday she scratched.
'J glanced through the pane as 'J opened the door
And just in time noticed
her mouth was full of 6ird.
A live, wide-eyed 6ird that was looking
toward the freedom of the sky
One wing free
~ust let me go
'J'll µy away.
She wanted to 6ring the 6ird in, of course.
Her home
Her favorile place.
Of course she wants to 6ring the 6ird in.
And 'J'm her favorite person.
After two and a half years she finally let on
last montfi.
So she wants to show it to me
Show it to me.
But the 6ird is tasting ~eedom,
life she's tasting that 6ird.
"f.et it go!"
"f.et the 6ird go!"
ohe cal, of course, is wide-eyed too
and really needs to come in, she thinks.
'J go out.
'J gra6 her neck skin life she's a kitten.
"f.et the 6ird go!"
(Does gra66ing their necks make them open
their mouths or close them tighter?)
'J let go.

'] gra6 her neck again and pull the hair on lop of

her head
When she was a little kitten
Sfie had a 6u33 hair cut
So cute
So happy to 6e alive with her
little 6u33 hair cut.
'] pull her hair and the 6ird almost gets ~ee.
'Js she clamping down tighter?
Why'd she 6ring it here?
Cats catch 6irds, after all.
But don't 6ring it home
wide-eyed looking for ~eedom.
'] do the pull routine one more time.
ohe 6ird knows the split second of ~eedom and
nies nies nies
Straightaway
across the street
~ee free ~ee
She let the bird go!
No, she senses, you let the 6ird go.
'J feel good 'J let the 6ird go.
'J feel 6ad 'J interfered with cat things.

'] have tainted the love
6etween my cat and me.
Will she forget 'J'm her favorite person?
6y Peggy 9olinson

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creating and sustaining this very special
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center, or make a contribution to help
meet the monthly expenses. Herland will
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YES, I want to help Herland continue
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D I'm interested in working on a committe. Please have the committee
chair call me.
PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister
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Oklahoma City, OK 73112
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HSR NOVEMBER 1990 3

REPRODUCTIVE
FREEDOM UPDATE
by Margaret Cox
The Oklahoma Coalition to Restrict Abortions has gathered 108,000 signatures on a
petition calling for a statewide vote for a new
abortion law, one which advocates say would
shut abortion clinics throughout the state.
The petition goes first to the Secretary of
State Hannah Atkins' office for counting of
the signatures, and next to the state Supreme
Court, where challenges to both the signatures and the content of the proposed law
may be brought.
Pro-Choice advocates have established
The Choice Legal Defense Fund to fight
efforts to get the abortion question on a
state-wide ballot. The CLDF will of necessity
be doing fundraising and accepting donations. As this newsletter goes to press we do
not have an address or telephone number for
them. Campaign for Choice, however, is still
active; you may call them at (918) 749-5877
or (405) 842-3791.
Women throughout the country were
alarmed and worried following the Supreme
Court's Webster decision in the summer of
1.989, and we rallied and worked and gave
time and money to maintain our right to
make our own reproductive decisions. In
Oklahoma, we have been successful in maintaining the status quo: it was abundantly
clear to our legislature that Oklahoma is
pro-choice.
However, we must be careful to recognize
that this is a temporary victory. New Supreme
Court Justice David Souter has been careful
not to give his opinion on Roe v. Wade and a
woman's right to choose an abortion; but
National NOW and other progressive organizations believe that his confirmation to the
Supreme Court gives the Court a 5-4
majority to overturn Roe. Additionally, there
are virulently anti-choice candidates running
for office here in Oklahoma, in competition
for the governor's office on down. If we elect
pro-choice candidates in November we will
give ourselves a margin of safety in the fight to
come next year.
Even though we may not like some of the
pro-choice candidates very much, women
who want to protect their reproductive
freedom are going to have to get out there and
not only vote pro-choice, but put some time
in on campaign work also.
Remember: if you don't vote, you can't
•
gripe about it!

4

•

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

ACLU AIDS PROJECT TO
FOCUS ON WOMEN AND
CHILDREN WITH AIDS
In a significant broadening of its AIDS
work, the American Civil Liberties Union has
added a new staff lawyer to work specifically
on issues revolving around HIV infection in
women and children.
1'.1e new lawyer, Elizabeth Cooper, has
received a one-year fellowship from the New
York law firm of Skadden, Arps, Meagher,
Slate & Flom, to pioneer test cases for this
growing and underrepresented population.
Cooper, a 1988 graduate of New York
University Law School, joins the ACLU's
ongoing AIDS Project. She joins 9 other
full time ACLU lawyers who are now working
on AIDS and gay rights issues around the
country.
"The idea of the Skadden fellowships is to
serve people who would not otherwise get
legal representation," Cooper said. "My goal
is to provide legal services to the poor women
and children who constitute the next wave of
people to be hit hardest by AIDS."
With courts just now beginning to address
legal questions arising from the high rates of
HIV infection among women and children
Cooper said she plans to initiate test cases i~
several areas. Most important, she said, are
developing ways of increasing basic levels of
health care for women and children and of
ensuring better access for women to drug
trials.
"The women and children at greatest risk
for HIV disease also happen to the people
most disenfranchised from the health-care
system, the support-services system and the
legal system because they most often are poor
and people of color," Cooper said.
W. B. Rubenstein, Director of the ACLU's
national AIDS Project, said the Skadden
fellowship will allow his project to continue
broadening its scope to an even greater focus
on access to care and treatment.
"For the last three years, the ACLU AIDS
Project has been a leader in fighting discrimination and protecting the civil rights of
persons with HIV disease," Rubenstein said.
"With Cooper's work, we will now be able to
push even harder to develop cases of lifealtering consequences for poor women and
their children."
Cooper, a Root-Tilden-Snow Scholar at
NYU Law School, has written previously
about HIV disease. She published "AIDS
Law: The Impact of AIDS on American
Schools and Prisons" in NYU's Annual
Survey of American Law.
The Skadden Fellowship Program annually
a~ards 25 fellowships to help lawyers provide better legal services to the poor, disabled,
homeless, elderly and those deprived of their
•
human and civil rights.

TENS OF THOUSANDS
CONTACTING CONGRESS
Washington, DC - The Human Rights Campaign Fund, the largest national lesbian and
gay political organization, and the organizers
of the National Coming Out Day (which is
held each year on October 11th) announced
a program of broad participation of lesbians
and gays and their supporters in the largest
grassroots lobbying effort in the history of
the lesbian and gay rights movement.
"1990 has been a year of remarkable
legislative successes for the lesbian and gay
community. Many of those successes have
in part stemmed from growing participation
in the "Speak Out" program around the
country," noted Tim Mcfeeley, Executive
Director of the Human Rights Campaign
Fund. "This is a remarkable story that has
been missed by many writers who are analyzing the impact of the lesbian and gay community on the political process."
"The 'Speak Out' program allows both
lesbian and gay and non-gay people to
express their opinions to their representatives when it is most effective, immediately
before critical AIDS and civil rights votes on
Capitol Hill," Mcfeeley states. "Our supporters are taking an aggressive and positive
approach to the issues that affect us."
Noting that many supporters of lesbian
and gay rights "have the ability or opportunity" to march, demonstrate or come to
Washington to lobby their Representatives
and Senators face to face, Mcfeeley stated
that the "Speak Out" program "presents an
opportunity for every American who supports our issues to register their opinions at
the appropriate moment in the political
debate."
The "Speak Out" program, with 45,000
participants this year, has activated messages
to Congress 42 times in the past 18 months
sending 170,000 messages on lesbian and
gay civil rights and health issues, including
AIJ?~ · During that period, lesbian and gay
activists have achieved more legislative
victories in the lesbian and gay rights movement. Major successes have included the
passage of the Americans with Disabilities
Act, the Hate Crimes Statistics Act, and the
Comprehensive AIDS Resource Emergency
Act.
Mcfeeley stated that the "Speak Out"
program ensures that members of Congress
know that they have constituents who support lesbian and gay rights and gives supporters an opportunity to participate in the
political process in an effective way. "Folks
in Boise, Idaho, Birmingham, Alabama,
Schenectady, New York and El Paso, Texas
have joined their colleagues in San Francisco
and New York in the Fight for Fairness," he
stated.
•

GJ My Sisters

[ooking

Upon 'Ghinking of Ruth

Do not,
not for a minute

Slie wanders tlie streets alone,
(ooking this way and that;

9 would like to write a line
tliat would make a difference

think

[ooking for a liome.
Slie's looking for love
And attention.
olie only one who loved lier'
[eft lier.
olie only one who cared,
Deserted lier.
Slie gets kicked around,
Slie gets teased and put down .
So she goes to lay in
:-i-~

my love for you
is not self interest;
9t is, and more:
9t is affirmation
of myself,
beatification
of my motlier,

6lessings
on my daughter:
it anchors me;

olie corner, lifting
Her saddened eyes
(ooking for something she'll

'Jor eacli of you
renects more of me
than 9 sometimes
can acknowledge;

i-' .,

to someone, somewhere- if
only for a moment.
A line that would touch
an open wound- and cause it to heal,
that would touch a frightened soul
and make lier Grave.
A line that would touch a heart
and bring it back to me.
9 would like to write that line.
But 9 wonder now if 9 would

write it to you.
6y

Never find.

c

6y Michelle K.

•••••

and each of you
9 manifest.
9f 9 could love
my brothers
as 9 do you,
9 would encompass
the world.

Always Accoustic

Ode ~ Midnight
Cat.

6y

M.O.C

Scat cat,

When the light racks at Angles run out of juice
When the smoke and lasers no longer entice
olie dancers to come out
9'll still Ge playing acoustic
[ong as 9 got an idea 9 will use it
oo make ~ean a new song to listen to.

Black cat,
Witches cat,
Halloween cat,

6y Peggy ~·

Scroungy cat,
Scruffy cat,
Skinny cat
Alley cat,

Self-Love

Poor cat,
Hi, Cat,
My cat,

9 once saw a woman, m an open market place,

Qetting her ears pierced.
9 had often seen sucli people, always with

Meow.

a crowd around them,
Watching their beloved in movement

~ust 'Goo Much
'Ooo much love
But none for me
ooo many wounds
All to my soul
ooo many red drops
All from inside
ooo much pain
When will it stop?
ooo many friends
But 9'm all alone.

•

6y Miclielle K.

taC
tac tacS
tac kcalB
tac sehctilU
tac neewollaH
tac ygnuorcS

Cat.

Scat cat,
Black cat,
Witclies cat,
Halloween cat,
Scroungy cat,
tac yffurcS Scruffy cat,
tac ynnikS Skinny cat
tac yellA Alley cat,
tac rooP Poor cat,
tac ,iH Hi, Cat,
tac yM My cat,

woeM Meow.

of outward expression.
Well, this particular woman had none
Other than me
!Jet she had sucli a jubilant look in her face;
Such expectation, such happiness
As 9 liave never Geen able to define.
9 know she must have had someone
waiting, somewhere,

Whom she could show lier pri3e.
9 liave never known one
who could drink so much joy
only for lier self.
by Peggy ~olinson

by M.O.C.

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

5

The Oklahoma State National Organization for Women will hold its State Council
Meeting on Sat., Nov. 17 at noon in Stillwater, 1223 Preston Avenue. All NOW
members are welcome to attend .. . ..
The Benedictine Peace House is sponsoring a Mideast Forum - "U.S. Involvement in the Middle East" in Fri., Nov. 2, at 8 p.m. at St. Luke's United Methodist
Church Hospitality Room, 222 N.W. 15th St., OKC. Speakers include Raymond
Habiby, Ph.D, Professor Emeritus of Political Science at OSU; Jeff Hamilton, Okla.
State Representative; and Hazih Zuhdi, M.D., Moslem Community Leader ... .
GOOD NEWS: On October 9, 1990, the Supreme Court left intact an affirmative
action program plan for hiring and promoting more minorities and women in San
Francisco's fire department. Let's hope it's a trend .. . ..
November 6 is ELECTION DAY. Get out there and exercise the right that people
fight and die for; some races are won or lost by a few votes; let's make sure that the
Herland voice is counted. First Class Citizens vote, and that means women! .....
Thanks to all who participated in the Ton '0 Pennies fundraiser. The winner
donated 29 pounds of pennies to Herland. A total of $234.57 in pennies was donated.
Donna D. entertained us with her wonderful music and humor, and a good time was had
by all. ....
The Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt will be on display Nov. 30 through Dec. 2
at the Maxwell Convention Center in Tulsa. Any locally produced panels must be
submitted by Wed., Nov. 21. For more info. contact Val Bode at 749-0063 or write:
The Oklahoma Names Project, P.O. Box 702225, Tulsa, OK 74170 .. . ..
The Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum will hold the 1991 National Gay &
Lesbian Conference in Los Angeles, CA Feb. 13 - 18, 1991. The Black Gay and Lesbian
Leadership Forum is dedicated to empowering the Black gay and lesbian community and
its organizations . ... .
Do you know a child dreading the prospect of being required to dissect a cat, frog or
other animal or face a failing grade in biology? Have her/him call the Dissection Hotline
at 1-800-922-FROG for help in resisting this requirement and in finding suitable
alternatives .. . .. ·
The Oklahoma Women's Network has valuable information on the candidates'
stands in the upcoming election. To join OWN and receive their newsletter write OWN,
P.O. Box 14339, Tulsa, OK 74159-1339 . . .. .
CHILD CUSTODY: A local chapter of the Committee for Mother and Child Rights,
Inc., has recently been formed in Oklahoma. Women are losing custody upon divorce at
an alarming rate, as judges tend to ignore or deny the importance of awarding custody to
the "nurturing parent:" the parent who was the primary caregiver. The CMCR is a
national organization fighting for legal, judicial and legislative reform of a system that is
clearly backlashing against women and our new-found freedoms. For more info on the
local CMCR chapter, contact Colette Warkentin, 708 SW SOth, OKC, OK 73109;
( 405) 634-3910. (Info courtesy of the Oklahoma Women's Network.) .....
MAGAZINES AND PERIODICALS WANTED! Do you currently subscribe to a
wonderful, progressive magazine, newsletter or periodical, one that you wish everyone in
the world could read? If so, take a step in that direction and give Herland a gift
subscription. We would welcome subscriptions to the "mainstream" progressive rags
like Off Our Backs, the new MS., the Progressive, In These Times, On The Issues,
Mother Jones, Utne Reader, etc, but would also love to have available the lesser known
ones. If you want to send us a subscription and don't want to duplicate a subscription
(though we wouldn't at all mind having more than one copy of many of these!), give us a
call at ( 405) 521-9696; leave a message during the week and we will call you back, or call
during store hours on the weekends.
6

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

JEWISH LESBIAN
DAUGHTERS OF
HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS
TO HOLD FALL MEETING
IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
In this last decade of the twentieth century,
waves of antisemitism and anti-Jewish violence are sweeping much of the world. Jewish
cemetaries are being desecrated, and reports
of attacks and defacements from Paris,
London, Stuttgart, Jerusalem, Moscow,
Auckland, Quebec, and throughout the
United States indicate a resurgence of racism
and antisemitism. Modern demagogues are
revising history by belittling, and even
denying, the Holocaust.
But the reality that was the Holocaust
continues to have an impact on the second
and third generation of those who survived.
On the weekend of November 16-18, in New
Hampshire, Jewish Lesbian Daughters of
Holocaust Survivors OLDHS) will meet for
discussion, support, and networking around
issues faced by children of survivors. JLDHS
has become an international organization,
with people from Australia and Nicaragua in
addition to its members from the United
States and Canada. The membership grows
each year as more Lesbian daughters of
survivors learn of the existence of this unique
support group.
JLDHS is for lesbians whose parent or
parents survived the Holocaust. This includes parents who were in nazi Europe or
North Africa in 1933 or later and who
survived death camps or in hiding, by passing
as non-Jews, or by managing to leave for safer
territories. Jewish and non-Jewish lesbian
partners of daughters are welcomed, and may
attend workshops specifically for partners.
For further information write Box 6194,
Boston, MA 02114, or call (617) 321-4254. •

··---}(. J ~

THE QUILT IN TULSA
Hundreds of panels of the NAMES Project
AIDS Memorial Quilt, an international
memorial to those who have died of AIDS,
will be on display in Tulsa, beginning Friday,
November 30 from 5:30 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.,
through December 2, 1990, at Tulsa's
Maxwell Convention Center, 100 Civic
Center.
This is the first time the Quilt has been on
display in Tulsa. Over 800 panels, or less
than 7% of the entire Quilt, will be on
display through the weekend. More than 1.5
million people, in the U.S. and around the
world, have seen the Quilt since its first
display in October 1987.
•

'Glie Beaclicom6er
Silent,
searching eyes
and slow feel
my only moving parts,
clasped liands 6eliind my 6ack
6allast for a forward stoop,
concentration so profound
reality warps;
9 am all focus,
a laser of intent;
yet all dispersed:
surely tfie sun must feel
more 6oundaries tlian 9.

A sliard,
a fragment

of a perfed sliell,
9 find;
and liold it in my moutfi,
a talisman,
love it respectfully
witli my tongue;
not tucked in my clieek
like a wad of gum;
on my tongue it lies in state,
6ecomes as mucli a part of me as
tlie motlier's milk
my tongue remem6ers;
witli tfie power of tfie sliard in me
9 will find its mate, as full
and complete
as 9.

~

/,

6yJlto.C.

PHOTO BY GINGER McGOVERN

Soulstice

Qood-6ye, dear motlier

all along my sundry selves talking
Gack and fortli across tfie continents
of my mind
deep within across tfie heavens whispering
tlirougli tfie stars comes a voice
speaking gently, quietly . ..
6eckoning: listen to my call
come to me, for you know
tlie spring of wisdom nows
in calm canyons, deep caverns
and over valley liills,
tlirougli misty morning gardens
wliere dying nowers and sprouting seedlings
know tfieir 6eauties equally.

oo my dearest motlier,
9 sliould've written years ago,
But 9 put it off
9 didn't want to say 6ye.

ft
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One day 6led into another
Soon-9 never tfiouglit you'd go.
Some would like to scoff
olie tears for me, tliat 9 cry.
Anger and grief 9 always smotlier
oill al many times 9'd 6low,
Cutting in my soul a deep trougli,
Ulisliing you didn't liave to die.

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Leave message for Ginger at HSR,
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De6orali 'Jox

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

7

Edwina V. Johnson, D.D.S.
"Catering to Cowards needing Tender Care"
in Comprehensive Dentistry

Kay Killgore, M.Ed.

5009 North Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 103
(405) 840-5410

Woman to Woman Counseling

Night & Sunday practice by appt. only
Emergencies welcome

1010 N.W. 45th
· Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73118
(405) 524-1062

Insurance accepted

~usie

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• Light Hauling •

M. Ed.

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Telephone: (405) 556-4105

KAY
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Comprehensive Dental Care

Sam L. Nicolosi, D.V.M.

Office Hours By Appointment

Debra K. Brouming, R.Ph, D.D.S.
5009 N. Pennsylvania, Suite 103
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
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BEST and WOODY

SHIRLEY M. HUNTER, M.Ed.
LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR

Emphasis on the problems of gay people.
PENN PARK OFFICE COMPLEX e SUITE 102
5009 N. PENNSYLVANIA e OKLAHOMA CITY, OK73112

366-0923

Marilyn Best & Coleen Woody
1518 N.W 29th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73106
(405) 525-2174

GENERAL PRACTICE OF LAW
including but not limited to
WILLS • CONTRACTS • DIVORCE
BANKRUPTCY • ADOPTION .

HELEN HOLGATE
Certified Alcoholism & Drug Abuse
Counselor



do~HERLAND ~
NOVEMBER 1990

ICE

THE GROOMING INSTINCT
a short story by R.L.S.
Regina Mathews was a picker . Not of
produce, although she had done that on occasion, but of something far more exciting. She
picked .. . things . . . from her person. From the
time she could control her fingers she had
picked at anything that even had a remote
promise of being removable. It began with the
plastic covering on her disposable diapers, and
to her mother's dismay, she soon became adept
at pulling off the little tabs that kept the diapers
in place. Consequently she was graduated to
cloth diapers, which Regina's mother pretended
to her friends was due to ecological considerations.
Soon Regina grew old enough to run and
skip, climb trees, build forts, ride bicycles, and
enjoy other similar girlish pursuits. W hen the
inevitable scraped knee occurred, she would
quickly dry her eyes and smile to herself,
knowing that the pain was worth the fun she
would have in a few days. She would wait until
the wound was nearly healed, then pick around
the edges of the scab.
"Regina, stop picking at that, you'll make a
scar," her mother would admonish. "Mom, I'm
just checking it," would be Regina's reply. And
of course the scab would come off and the
scrape would bleed a little and a new scab would
form ... with little effort Regina could get one
scrape to last for several weeks.
Another favorite activity was to deliberately
play in the sun too long just so that she could
burn to a crisp and reap the harvest of her
sacrifice when she began to peel.
"Regina, you're going to die of skin cancer
before you 're fifteen," her mother would wail.
But Regina, like all people under 30, was
absolutely convinced of her immortality and
invincibility, and continued to bask sublimely
in the sun.
But when she reach a late puberty, she found
something infinitely more interesting to occupy
her time. She sometimes locked herself in the
bathroom for hours at a time, causing much
complaining and griping from family members
who needed to take care of more important
business. Her little brother Mikey liked to lie in
wait outside the bathroom door so that when
she finally emerged guiltily with one hand
covering her nose, he could toss a softball at her,
yelling "Think fast!" This would of course
force her to reveal her nose as she caught the

VOLUME 7 NUMBER IO

•

ball, and Mikey would then howl "Reggie the
red-nosed wierdo!" and race away down the
hall. Regina became good at one-handed
catches. She also became quite adept at hurling
the softball after Mikey's retreating form, and
got so that she could hit him square on the left
cheek just about every time, causing him to
squeal, "Mom, Regina hit me!"
One day Regina's mother cornered Regina in
the kitchen. Stubbing out her cigarette and
fixing Regina with a look of determination, she
said without preamble, "Regina, you're spending too much time in the bathroom."
"Huh? But Mom, I just . . ."
"No buts, young lady. I've been worried
about you for some time, and I've decided you
need some outside activities to take your mind
off your nose. I've joined you up with the girls'
softball team-they need a good pitcher, and I
told them you could pitch with one hand tied
behind your back. Besides, I'm sick of Mikey
whining at me about how you torment him .. ."
"Me, torment him!" cried Regina indignantly. "Mom, you never listen to my side of
the story! Mikey just hangs around just
waiting .. ."

" Now none of your lip, Regina Mathews.
You know I can't abide tattle-tales. Team practice begins on Friday after school."
Regina hung her head and kicked at the
comer of the stove.
" Geeeeawd, honey, " laughed Regina's mom.
"You're acting like it's the end of the world or
something. Just be glad I didn't buy a straightjacket."
Regina didn't actually mind joining the soft- ·
ball team, especially since that new girl at
school, Mavis Stein, was going to play on the
team. Mavis Stein had the nicest curly dark hair,
and she wore T-shirts with the sleeves rolled up,
and could out-arm-wresstle any boy in the
school, seniors included. And sometimes she
came to school with a red nose, which made
Regina wonder.
Because Regina was a dynamite pitcher, she
quickly gained Mavis' attention and respect,
and soon the two of them were palling around
in a very big way. Things began innocently
enough. The two of them would lock themselves away in Mavis' bedroom to "study the
finer points of softball." But one day after a
particularly enjoyable study session, as Regina

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

was idly running her hands up and down Mavis'
spine, her fingers suddenly stopped, and began
slowly circling around a small bump on Mavis'
left shoulderblade.
"Regina?" came Mavis' voice, muffled by
Regina's hair. There was no answer. Mavis
propped herself up on her elbows and looked
into Regina's face. "Regina Mathews, what are
you doing to my shoulder-b ... ouch, that
hurts!"
"Sorry," said Regina contritely. "l won't do
it again. I don't know what came over me."
A little later, after a long, sweet kiss, Regina
looked deeply into Mavis's brown eyes. Mavis,
lying on her back, returned the look with equal
rapture. But suddenly Regina's pupils dilated,
her focus shifted, her eyes crossed. Mavis saw
Regina's fingers come toward her nose like giant
pincers, and she a gave a shove and a twist and
bounded to the other side of the bed, taking up
her best fighting stance. "Ok, you wierdo, I
know what you're up to!"
"But Mavis, there's a great big one right in the
comer, and another one on the tip; you can't
expect me to just sit here and look at them, can
you?"
" No way! You know what you are, Regina?
You're wierd, that's what. You're perverted.
Don't come near me.
Regina went home with a heavy heart. How
could she have misjudged Mavis so completely?
And was Mavis right about Regina being wierd?
She felt confused and unhappy. That night she
composed a letter to the "Darling Darlene"
column in the newspaper:
Dear Darling Darlene,
I have a terrible confession romakeanddon't krwwwlw
else to tum to. Yau see, I can't keep my hands off myself. I
mean, whenever there's a blister or peeling skin, or well,
you krww, a zit, I've just got to mess with it. I can't stop
myself. And lately I've wanted to do it to other people. I
haven't told anyone else about this because I'm afraid I
might lose friends .
Signed, Finger-Happy

Darlene wrote back, saying:
Dear Finger,
First of all, let me reassure you; you are not alone! There
are other people out there just like you. But you're right to
question your behavior, and if you want to change that't the
first step. The next step is to talk to your clergyman. Let me
know what happens. I care. ·

Now Regina didn't even go to church, so she

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

(continued on page 2)

•

(405) 521-9696

The Grooming Instinct (cont.)

LET US HEAR YOUR VOICE

didn't think much of Darling Darlene's advice.
Instead, she decided that if there were other
people out there like her, maybe she could find
them and start a club or something. She wasn't
sure how she was going to go about recruiting
members; what would she say to a likely
prospect? "Excuse me, but do you pick? Are
you a connoisseur of blackheads? What's the
biggest piece of dead skin you ever pulled off in
one piece? Do you ever cancel dates due to a red
nose?" No, it would never work. She became
more depressed than ever, and to console
herself she worked on the best sunburn she'd
ever had. She wouldn't even look at Mavis Stein
at softball practice.
_ One evening after school as Regina was
plugging away at her algebra homework, the
front doorbell rang. Regina heard her mother
go to the door and have a low-voiced conversation with someone. Then she heard the
unmistakable clump of Mavis' feet taking the
stairs two at a time. And there was Mavis at her
door, looking downright contrite.
Regina stared at her from her desk, her pencil
poised over a particularly difficult equation.
Then she turned back to her books, a sour
expression on her face. "What do you want,
Mavis? I'm wierd, remember. Better watch out,
it might rub off."
"Aw, Regina, look, I'm really sorry. I miss
you. Can't we be friends again?"
There was an awkward silence. "Um, Regina,
I brought you a present." Mavis held out a box
of chocolates. "It's terrible for the complexion,
if you know what I mean."
Regina put down her pencil as a slow grin
spread across her face. In a flash they had their
shirts off and were rolling around on the bed in
a "skin-hug," as they liked to call it. And then
Mavis stopped, with a strange look on her face,
her fingers busy on Regina's back. She brought
her hands in front of her and held up two
papery sheets of dead skin, a look of complete
satisfaction on her face.
''Ah hah!'' howled Regina jubilantly. I knew
it! A closet picker."
"You 're right," sighed Mavis. "I've been one
for as long as I can remember. I guess I just
didn't want to admit it."
And that was the beginning of a beautiful
relationship. On occasion Mavis would suffer
fits of guilt, expressing concern about their
activities. She said she felt sinful and that she
didn't dare tell her friends who she really was.
But Regina would simply smile and say it was
all very natural; it was just .. . "the grooming
•
instinct."

Do you have an opinion about issues raised in the Voice, Herland activities, or other issues?
Let us hear from you. Does your group have an activity planned or an issue you want raised with
Voice readers? Let us hear from you.
The Herland Voice welcomes submission of non-fiction articles, poetry, and short fiction.
Typed double-spaced manuscripts are preferred. Manuscripts should be no longer than 1500
words.
Letters to the editor are also appreciated. All letters must be signed and include a return
address; however, letters may be published anonymously on request of the author. Letters to
the editor will be limited to a published length of 300 words.
The Voice committee would like to receive news from your organization. We are limiting the
number of flyers which can be inserted in the newsletter, but announcements of events of
interest to our readers will be published in the Voice.
Please mail your submissions to: Voice, 2312 N. W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112. Deadline
for each issue is the 5th of the preceding month (e.g. the deadline for the December issue is
November 5.)
•

2

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

KEEP THE VOICE COMING
The monthly cost for printing and mailing the Voice is approximately $500. If you
enjoy reading the Voice each month, please consider making a donation to help cover
these costs.
D Please add me to the mailing list for the Voice
D Please change my address
D I'd like to receive the Voice in a sealed envelope by first class mail. I'm enclosing
$7.00 for the additional cost.
Name: _ ________________________ _
Street: __________________ _______ _
City: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ State_____ Zip._ _ _ __

FALL PEACE FEST
Mark your calendar now for Saturday,
November 17, 1990. The Fifth Annual Fall
Peace Festival is scheduled from 11 a.m. to 6
p.m. at the First Christian Church, N.W.
36th and Walker in Oklahoma City.
Herland Sister Resources will be sharing a
table with the National Organization for
Women, selling books, tapes and gifts and
providing information and newsletters at the
Fest, which is sponsored and organized by
the Benedictine Peace House. Last year the
Peace Fest attracted more than fifty organizations, representing a variety of progressive
and social activist groups. This year the Peace
House promises Crafts and Artists, Children's Activity Corner, Peace Art Booth,
Exotic Foods and Patio Cafe, Weavings from
Guatemala, Pottery and Carving from
Mexico, and Entertainment all day by
Oklahoma's Talent Pool. Food Booth by
"The Earth."
And at 8:00 p.m., don't miss THE
THERAPY SISTERS in Concert! If you
weren't lucky enough to see and hear the
Therapy Sisters when Herland presented
them in concert earlier this year, now is your
chance! $5.00 donation at the door for the
•
concert.

UNICEF CARDS
(The Gift that Keeps on Giving)
Here is a partial list of outlets for
Unicef Holiday cards, a gift that might
save a child's life:
Churchwomen United
648 S.E. Wilshire Ave.
Bartlesville 74006
St. Stephens
400 W. New Orleans
Broken Arrow 74012
Southern Hill Christian
3207 S. Boulevard
Edmond, 73013
Frames 'N' Things
106 Plaza
Madill, 73446
United Ministries
1017 E. Elm
Norman, 73072
Church of the Servant
6009 NW Expressway
OKC 73132

Betty Bradshaw
107 N. Apache
Sallisaw, 74955
Jill Holmes
P.O. Box 981
Stillwater, 74076
The Learning Tree
7646 N. Western
OKC 73116
(Books & Puzzles,
no cards)
All Souls Unitarian
Tulsa
Pier One Stores
Oklahoma City

•DIVERSITY•SOLIDARITY•EMPOWEAMENT•
What .if 5,000 lesbians of all shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities
were to come together from around the country? And what if they
listened to each other? And learned from each other? And what if,
after four days of listening and learning, they returned to their
homes all over the country with a new respect and understanding of
how magnificently diverse and potentially powerful a community we
are? And what if this diverse community, with new insight and
understanding built coalitions on local, state, and regional levels
to work toward improving the lesbian nation's socioeconomic, legal,
and political status in this country?
What if •••• can be!

WE'RE DOING IT!

PLEASE,

JOIN US!

The National Lesbian Conference is scheduled for April 24-28, 1991,
in Atlanta, Georgia.
The goal of NLC is to provide a forum for ell
of the diverse populations of the lesbian community throughout the
United States.
It is a coming together of the Lesbian Nation.
We
need assistance to fund this effort.
If every lesbian in the nation
donated just $1.00 to this project, annual conferences could be
funded for the next three years.
Please help. Send a dollar - cash
or check - to:
NLC
P.O. Box 1999
Decatur, GA 30031
A CALL FOR:

WORKSHOPS

OR

Attn: Karen Lewis
NLC - Gulf Region
1932 NW 31th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73118

CAUCUSES

PANEL DISCUSSIONS

Proposals are now being sought to fill 400 slots for workshops and
panels in both traditional and non-traditional formats, to be held
at the national conference in Atlanta.
If you would like to help
coordinate a caucus or present, facilitate or organize sessions on
any topic concerning the lesbian community, please write the NLC
at the above address or call the national office for more information at (404) 373-0000.

1
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A woman-to-woman gathering finding
strength through our diversity. The National
Lesbian Conference is committed to safer
and accessible space for all lesbians. Join
us in celebrating the choice to relate across
differences and enjoy wommin from all the
various ways of lesbian lives. Meet me in

ATLANTA, GEORGIA
APRIL 24-28, 1991
*

...... .

•

. -.

.

\

STAFF CHANGES FOR
NORMAN WOMEN'S
RESOURCE CENTER
Norman . . . The Board of Directors of the
Women's Resource Center, Inc. (WRC) has
announced an administrative restructuring
and named former Shelter for Battered
Women Director, Jo Ann Smith, to the post
of WRC Executive Director.
Judy Harper Robinson, Center Director
since 1986, has been named Fiscal Administrator for the center and its various components, including the Norman Shelter for
Battered Women.
Prior to her appointment as WRC Executive Director, Ms. Smith served as a staff
member at the Shelter for 10 years, most
recently as Shelter Director. Prior to her
affiliation with the Shelter, she served as a
volunteer to the Rape Crisis Team and as a
member of the Battered Women's Task
Force in Greeley, Colorado. During her
tenure with the Norman Shelter, Ms. Smith
served as chairperson of the Oklahoma Coalition on Domestic Violence and Sexual
Assault and served as the Coalition's representative to the National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence.
Kristy Stewart, a former WRC volunteer
and a Shelter Advocate since·l985, has been
named to the position of Senior Shelter
Advocate of the Norman Shelter for Battered
•
Women.

·-··.

NONSENSE

The following "sayings," offered by Peggy
Johnson and Cindy Craven, are derived
from some famous statements and speaches.
Can you figure out what the real statements
were? If you have any similar adages, we will
be running a monthly column and welcome
submissions.

• There is some dash in the hair of grins which,
baked in the mud flees on to wader rings,
committed, all alike, and found in gallows
and mysteries.
• Of all foliage, the wine and food speak
mostly to show skinny elves.
• Freak and sea shell mind.
• Streak waftley and marry a pig hick.
• Delve alot and crawl to tell.
• Poor bores and heaven fears, ah-so.
• We mold these boothes to be irrelevant.
• Undermine that the train ran and sailed the
sun, and then sail we, fine, today.
• The hurl is a frito.
• I freed crummy help.
• Hired or petting nude? Desired at netting
school?

Skeeter
'J've tainted the love
6etween my cat and me.
She's not much of a meower 6ut prefers
to scratch once or twice al the door
so 'J'll let her in.
ooday she scratched.
'J glanced through the pane as 'J opened the door
And just in time noticed
her mouth was full of 6ird.
A live, wide-eyed 6ird that was looking
toward the freedom of the sky
One wing free
~ust let me go
'J'll µy away.
She wanted to 6ring the 6ird in, of course.
Her home
Her favorile place.
Of course she wants to 6ring the 6ird in.
And 'J'm her favorite person.
After two and a half years she finally let on
last montfi.
So she wants to show it to me
Show it to me.
But the 6ird is tasting ~eedom,
life she's tasting that 6ird.
"f.et it go!"
"f.et the 6ird go!"
ohe cal, of course, is wide-eyed too
and really needs to come in, she thinks.
'J go out.
'J gra6 her neck skin life she's a kitten.
"f.et the 6ird go!"
(Does gra66ing their necks make them open
their mouths or close them tighter?)
'J let go.

'] gra6 her neck again and pull the hair on lop of

her head
When she was a little kitten
Sfie had a 6u33 hair cut
So cute
So happy to 6e alive with her
little 6u33 hair cut.
'] pull her hair and the 6ird almost gets ~ee.
'Js she clamping down tighter?
Why'd she 6ring it here?
Cats catch 6irds, after all.
But don't 6ring it home
wide-eyed looking for ~eedom.
'] do the pull routine one more time.
ohe 6ird knows the split second of ~eedom and
nies nies nies
Straightaway
across the street
~ee free ~ee
She let the bird go!
No, she senses, you let the 6ird go.
'J feel good 'J let the 6ird go.
'J feel 6ad 'J interfered with cat things.

'] have tainted the love
6etween my cat and me.
Will she forget 'J'm her favorite person?
6y Peggy 9olinson

BE A PART OF HERLAND
Herland is the collective effort of the
women of Oklahoma. You can be a part of
creating and sustaining this very special
community we call Herland. Join a committee, volunteer to work in the resource
center, or make a contribution to help
meet the monthly expenses. Herland will
be what you make it.

YES, I want to help Herland continue
to grow.
D I'm interested in working on a committe. Please have the committee
chair call me.
PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister
Resources, Inc. 2312 NW 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE:
Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox, Pat
Reaves

D I'd like to volunteer at Herland.
Please have the volunteer coordinator call me with more information.
D Here's my contribution of _ _ __
to help support Herland.
Name: _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

CIRCULATION: 750

Phone - - - - - - - - - - - -

GENERAL INFO: (405) 521-9696 (leave
message)

Address - - - - - - - - - - City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

SUBSCRIPTIONS to the Her/and Voice
are free upon request.

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HSR NOVEMBER 1990 3

REPRODUCTIVE
FREEDOM UPDATE
by Margaret Cox
The Oklahoma Coalition to Restrict Abortions has gathered 108,000 signatures on a
petition calling for a statewide vote for a new
abortion law, one which advocates say would
shut abortion clinics throughout the state.
The petition goes first to the Secretary of
State Hannah Atkins' office for counting of
the signatures, and next to the state Supreme
Court, where challenges to both the signatures and the content of the proposed law
may be brought.
Pro-Choice advocates have established
The Choice Legal Defense Fund to fight
efforts to get the abortion question on a
state-wide ballot. The CLDF will of necessity
be doing fundraising and accepting donations. As this newsletter goes to press we do
not have an address or telephone number for
them. Campaign for Choice, however, is still
active; you may call them at (918) 749-5877
or (405) 842-3791.
Women throughout the country were
alarmed and worried following the Supreme
Court's Webster decision in the summer of
1.989, and we rallied and worked and gave
time and money to maintain our right to
make our own reproductive decisions. In
Oklahoma, we have been successful in maintaining the status quo: it was abundantly
clear to our legislature that Oklahoma is
pro-choice.
However, we must be careful to recognize
that this is a temporary victory. New Supreme
Court Justice David Souter has been careful
not to give his opinion on Roe v. Wade and a
woman's right to choose an abortion; but
National NOW and other progressive organizations believe that his confirmation to the
Supreme Court gives the Court a 5-4
majority to overturn Roe. Additionally, there
are virulently anti-choice candidates running
for office here in Oklahoma, in competition
for the governor's office on down. If we elect
pro-choice candidates in November we will
give ourselves a margin of safety in the fight to
come next year.
Even though we may not like some of the
pro-choice candidates very much, women
who want to protect their reproductive
freedom are going to have to get out there and
not only vote pro-choice, but put some time
in on campaign work also.
Remember: if you don't vote, you can't
•
gripe about it!

4

•

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

ACLU AIDS PROJECT TO
FOCUS ON WOMEN AND
CHILDREN WITH AIDS
In a significant broadening of its AIDS
work, the American Civil Liberties Union has
added a new staff lawyer to work specifically
on issues revolving around HIV infection in
women and children.
1'.1e new lawyer, Elizabeth Cooper, has
received a one-year fellowship from the New
York law firm of Skadden, Arps, Meagher,
Slate & Flom, to pioneer test cases for this
growing and underrepresented population.
Cooper, a 1988 graduate of New York
University Law School, joins the ACLU's
ongoing AIDS Project. She joins 9 other
full time ACLU lawyers who are now working
on AIDS and gay rights issues around the
country.
"The idea of the Skadden fellowships is to
serve people who would not otherwise get
legal representation," Cooper said. "My goal
is to provide legal services to the poor women
and children who constitute the next wave of
people to be hit hardest by AIDS."
With courts just now beginning to address
legal questions arising from the high rates of
HIV infection among women and children
Cooper said she plans to initiate test cases i~
several areas. Most important, she said, are
developing ways of increasing basic levels of
health care for women and children and of
ensuring better access for women to drug
trials.
"The women and children at greatest risk
for HIV disease also happen to the people
most disenfranchised from the health-care
system, the support-services system and the
legal system because they most often are poor
and people of color," Cooper said.
W. B. Rubenstein, Director of the ACLU's
national AIDS Project, said the Skadden
fellowship will allow his project to continue
broadening its scope to an even greater focus
on access to care and treatment.
"For the last three years, the ACLU AIDS
Project has been a leader in fighting discrimination and protecting the civil rights of
persons with HIV disease," Rubenstein said.
"With Cooper's work, we will now be able to
push even harder to develop cases of lifealtering consequences for poor women and
their children."
Cooper, a Root-Tilden-Snow Scholar at
NYU Law School, has written previously
about HIV disease. She published "AIDS
Law: The Impact of AIDS on American
Schools and Prisons" in NYU's Annual
Survey of American Law.
The Skadden Fellowship Program annually
a~ards 25 fellowships to help lawyers provide better legal services to the poor, disabled,
homeless, elderly and those deprived of their
•
human and civil rights.

TENS OF THOUSANDS
CONTACTING CONGRESS
Washington, DC - The Human Rights Campaign Fund, the largest national lesbian and
gay political organization, and the organizers
of the National Coming Out Day (which is
held each year on October 11th) announced
a program of broad participation of lesbians
and gays and their supporters in the largest
grassroots lobbying effort in the history of
the lesbian and gay rights movement.
"1990 has been a year of remarkable
legislative successes for the lesbian and gay
community. Many of those successes have
in part stemmed from growing participation
in the "Speak Out" program around the
country," noted Tim Mcfeeley, Executive
Director of the Human Rights Campaign
Fund. "This is a remarkable story that has
been missed by many writers who are analyzing the impact of the lesbian and gay community on the political process."
"The 'Speak Out' program allows both
lesbian and gay and non-gay people to
express their opinions to their representatives when it is most effective, immediately
before critical AIDS and civil rights votes on
Capitol Hill," Mcfeeley states. "Our supporters are taking an aggressive and positive
approach to the issues that affect us."
Noting that many supporters of lesbian
and gay rights "have the ability or opportunity" to march, demonstrate or come to
Washington to lobby their Representatives
and Senators face to face, Mcfeeley stated
that the "Speak Out" program "presents an
opportunity for every American who supports our issues to register their opinions at
the appropriate moment in the political
debate."
The "Speak Out" program, with 45,000
participants this year, has activated messages
to Congress 42 times in the past 18 months
sending 170,000 messages on lesbian and
gay civil rights and health issues, including
AIJ?~ · During that period, lesbian and gay
activists have achieved more legislative
victories in the lesbian and gay rights movement. Major successes have included the
passage of the Americans with Disabilities
Act, the Hate Crimes Statistics Act, and the
Comprehensive AIDS Resource Emergency
Act.
Mcfeeley stated that the "Speak Out"
program ensures that members of Congress
know that they have constituents who support lesbian and gay rights and gives supporters an opportunity to participate in the
political process in an effective way. "Folks
in Boise, Idaho, Birmingham, Alabama,
Schenectady, New York and El Paso, Texas
have joined their colleagues in San Francisco
and New York in the Fight for Fairness," he
stated.
•

GJ My Sisters

[ooking

Upon 'Ghinking of Ruth

Do not,
not for a minute

Slie wanders tlie streets alone,
(ooking this way and that;

9 would like to write a line
tliat would make a difference

think

[ooking for a liome.
Slie's looking for love
And attention.
olie only one who loved lier'
[eft lier.
olie only one who cared,
Deserted lier.
Slie gets kicked around,
Slie gets teased and put down .
So she goes to lay in
:-i-~

my love for you
is not self interest;
9t is, and more:
9t is affirmation
of myself,
beatification
of my motlier,

6lessings
on my daughter:
it anchors me;

olie corner, lifting
Her saddened eyes
(ooking for something she'll

'Jor eacli of you
renects more of me
than 9 sometimes
can acknowledge;

i-' .,

to someone, somewhere- if
only for a moment.
A line that would touch
an open wound- and cause it to heal,
that would touch a frightened soul
and make lier Grave.
A line that would touch a heart
and bring it back to me.
9 would like to write that line.
But 9 wonder now if 9 would

write it to you.
6y

Never find.

c

6y Michelle K.

•••••

and each of you
9 manifest.
9f 9 could love
my brothers
as 9 do you,
9 would encompass
the world.

Always Accoustic

Ode ~ Midnight
Cat.

6y

M.O.C

Scat cat,

When the light racks at Angles run out of juice
When the smoke and lasers no longer entice
olie dancers to come out
9'll still Ge playing acoustic
[ong as 9 got an idea 9 will use it
oo make ~ean a new song to listen to.

Black cat,
Witches cat,
Halloween cat,

6y Peggy ~·

Scroungy cat,
Scruffy cat,
Skinny cat
Alley cat,

Self-Love

Poor cat,
Hi, Cat,
My cat,

9 once saw a woman, m an open market place,

Qetting her ears pierced.
9 had often seen sucli people, always with

Meow.

a crowd around them,
Watching their beloved in movement

~ust 'Goo Much
'Ooo much love
But none for me
ooo many wounds
All to my soul
ooo many red drops
All from inside
ooo much pain
When will it stop?
ooo many friends
But 9'm all alone.

•

6y Miclielle K.

taC
tac tacS
tac kcalB
tac sehctilU
tac neewollaH
tac ygnuorcS

Cat.

Scat cat,
Black cat,
Witclies cat,
Halloween cat,
Scroungy cat,
tac yffurcS Scruffy cat,
tac ynnikS Skinny cat
tac yellA Alley cat,
tac rooP Poor cat,
tac ,iH Hi, Cat,
tac yM My cat,

woeM Meow.

of outward expression.
Well, this particular woman had none
Other than me
!Jet she had sucli a jubilant look in her face;
Such expectation, such happiness
As 9 liave never Geen able to define.
9 know she must have had someone
waiting, somewhere,

Whom she could show lier pri3e.
9 liave never known one
who could drink so much joy
only for lier self.
by Peggy ~olinson

by M.O.C.

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

5

The Oklahoma State National Organization for Women will hold its State Council
Meeting on Sat., Nov. 17 at noon in Stillwater, 1223 Preston Avenue. All NOW
members are welcome to attend .. . ..
The Benedictine Peace House is sponsoring a Mideast Forum - "U.S. Involvement in the Middle East" in Fri., Nov. 2, at 8 p.m. at St. Luke's United Methodist
Church Hospitality Room, 222 N.W. 15th St., OKC. Speakers include Raymond
Habiby, Ph.D, Professor Emeritus of Political Science at OSU; Jeff Hamilton, Okla.
State Representative; and Hazih Zuhdi, M.D., Moslem Community Leader ... .
GOOD NEWS: On October 9, 1990, the Supreme Court left intact an affirmative
action program plan for hiring and promoting more minorities and women in San
Francisco's fire department. Let's hope it's a trend .. . ..
November 6 is ELECTION DAY. Get out there and exercise the right that people
fight and die for; some races are won or lost by a few votes; let's make sure that the
Herland voice is counted. First Class Citizens vote, and that means women! .....
Thanks to all who participated in the Ton '0 Pennies fundraiser. The winner
donated 29 pounds of pennies to Herland. A total of $234.57 in pennies was donated.
Donna D. entertained us with her wonderful music and humor, and a good time was had
by all. ....
The Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt will be on display Nov. 30 through Dec. 2
at the Maxwell Convention Center in Tulsa. Any locally produced panels must be
submitted by Wed., Nov. 21. For more info. contact Val Bode at 749-0063 or write:
The Oklahoma Names Project, P.O. Box 702225, Tulsa, OK 74170 .. . ..
The Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum will hold the 1991 National Gay &
Lesbian Conference in Los Angeles, CA Feb. 13 - 18, 1991. The Black Gay and Lesbian
Leadership Forum is dedicated to empowering the Black gay and lesbian community and
its organizations . ... .
Do you know a child dreading the prospect of being required to dissect a cat, frog or
other animal or face a failing grade in biology? Have her/him call the Dissection Hotline
at 1-800-922-FROG for help in resisting this requirement and in finding suitable
alternatives .. . .. ·
The Oklahoma Women's Network has valuable information on the candidates'
stands in the upcoming election. To join OWN and receive their newsletter write OWN,
P.O. Box 14339, Tulsa, OK 74159-1339 . . .. .
CHILD CUSTODY: A local chapter of the Committee for Mother and Child Rights,
Inc., has recently been formed in Oklahoma. Women are losing custody upon divorce at
an alarming rate, as judges tend to ignore or deny the importance of awarding custody to
the "nurturing parent:" the parent who was the primary caregiver. The CMCR is a
national organization fighting for legal, judicial and legislative reform of a system that is
clearly backlashing against women and our new-found freedoms. For more info on the
local CMCR chapter, contact Colette Warkentin, 708 SW SOth, OKC, OK 73109;
( 405) 634-3910. (Info courtesy of the Oklahoma Women's Network.) .....
MAGAZINES AND PERIODICALS WANTED! Do you currently subscribe to a
wonderful, progressive magazine, newsletter or periodical, one that you wish everyone in
the world could read? If so, take a step in that direction and give Herland a gift
subscription. We would welcome subscriptions to the "mainstream" progressive rags
like Off Our Backs, the new MS., the Progressive, In These Times, On The Issues,
Mother Jones, Utne Reader, etc, but would also love to have available the lesser known
ones. If you want to send us a subscription and don't want to duplicate a subscription
(though we wouldn't at all mind having more than one copy of many of these!), give us a
call at ( 405) 521-9696; leave a message during the week and we will call you back, or call
during store hours on the weekends.
6

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

JEWISH LESBIAN
DAUGHTERS OF
HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS
TO HOLD FALL MEETING
IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
In this last decade of the twentieth century,
waves of antisemitism and anti-Jewish violence are sweeping much of the world. Jewish
cemetaries are being desecrated, and reports
of attacks and defacements from Paris,
London, Stuttgart, Jerusalem, Moscow,
Auckland, Quebec, and throughout the
United States indicate a resurgence of racism
and antisemitism. Modern demagogues are
revising history by belittling, and even
denying, the Holocaust.
But the reality that was the Holocaust
continues to have an impact on the second
and third generation of those who survived.
On the weekend of November 16-18, in New
Hampshire, Jewish Lesbian Daughters of
Holocaust Survivors OLDHS) will meet for
discussion, support, and networking around
issues faced by children of survivors. JLDHS
has become an international organization,
with people from Australia and Nicaragua in
addition to its members from the United
States and Canada. The membership grows
each year as more Lesbian daughters of
survivors learn of the existence of this unique
support group.
JLDHS is for lesbians whose parent or
parents survived the Holocaust. This includes parents who were in nazi Europe or
North Africa in 1933 or later and who
survived death camps or in hiding, by passing
as non-Jews, or by managing to leave for safer
territories. Jewish and non-Jewish lesbian
partners of daughters are welcomed, and may
attend workshops specifically for partners.
For further information write Box 6194,
Boston, MA 02114, or call (617) 321-4254. •

··---}(. J ~

THE QUILT IN TULSA
Hundreds of panels of the NAMES Project
AIDS Memorial Quilt, an international
memorial to those who have died of AIDS,
will be on display in Tulsa, beginning Friday,
November 30 from 5:30 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.,
through December 2, 1990, at Tulsa's
Maxwell Convention Center, 100 Civic
Center.
This is the first time the Quilt has been on
display in Tulsa. Over 800 panels, or less
than 7% of the entire Quilt, will be on
display through the weekend. More than 1.5
million people, in the U.S. and around the
world, have seen the Quilt since its first
display in October 1987.
•

'Glie Beaclicom6er
Silent,
searching eyes
and slow feel
my only moving parts,
clasped liands 6eliind my 6ack
6allast for a forward stoop,
concentration so profound
reality warps;
9 am all focus,
a laser of intent;
yet all dispersed:
surely tfie sun must feel
more 6oundaries tlian 9.

A sliard,
a fragment

of a perfed sliell,
9 find;
and liold it in my moutfi,
a talisman,
love it respectfully
witli my tongue;
not tucked in my clieek
like a wad of gum;
on my tongue it lies in state,
6ecomes as mucli a part of me as
tlie motlier's milk
my tongue remem6ers;
witli tfie power of tfie sliard in me
9 will find its mate, as full
and complete
as 9.

~

/,

6yJlto.C.

PHOTO BY GINGER McGOVERN

Soulstice

Qood-6ye, dear motlier

all along my sundry selves talking
Gack and fortli across tfie continents
of my mind
deep within across tfie heavens whispering
tlirougli tfie stars comes a voice
speaking gently, quietly . ..
6eckoning: listen to my call
come to me, for you know
tlie spring of wisdom nows
in calm canyons, deep caverns
and over valley liills,
tlirougli misty morning gardens
wliere dying nowers and sprouting seedlings
know tfieir 6eauties equally.

oo my dearest motlier,
9 sliould've written years ago,
But 9 put it off
9 didn't want to say 6ye.

ft
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One day 6led into another
Soon-9 never tfiouglit you'd go.
Some would like to scoff
olie tears for me, tliat 9 cry.
Anger and grief 9 always smotlier
oill al many times 9'd 6low,
Cutting in my soul a deep trougli,
Ulisliing you didn't liave to die.

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6y Miclielle K.

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Leave message for Ginger at HSR,
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De6orali 'Jox

HSR NOVEMBER 1990

7

Edwina V. Johnson, D.D.S.
"Catering to Cowards needing Tender Care"
in Comprehensive Dentistry

Kay Killgore, M.Ed.

5009 North Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 103
(405) 840-5410

Woman to Woman Counseling

Night & Sunday practice by appt. only
Emergencies welcome

1010 N.W. 45th
· Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73118
(405) 524-1062

Insurance accepted

~usie

'f

outhwell,

Mowing • Fertlllzlng • Trimming
• Light Hauling •

M. Ed.

"We Are Insured"

COUNSELOR
2912 N. Clauen, Suite 1 0 2 - - - - - T
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73106,..__ _
Telephone: (405) 556-4105

KAY
794·0081

SANDIE
794-6884

Comprehensive Dental Care

Sam L. Nicolosi, D.V.M.

Office Hours By Appointment

Debra K. Brouming, R.Ph, D.D.S.
5009 N. Pennsylvania, Suite 103
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
(405) 843-3281

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COUPON

4015 N.W. 23rd
Oklahoma City

by Appointment
Phone ( 405) 947-5545

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Special
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Herland
readers!

6y

Melanie ~· McKiddy
MASSAGE THERAPIST
360-6945

"Portable"
massage
table
available
for your
cont1enience.

BEST and WOODY

SHIRLEY M. HUNTER, M.Ed.
LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR

Emphasis on the problems of gay people.
PENN PARK OFFICE COMPLEX e SUITE 102
5009 N. PENNSYLVANIA e OKLAHOMA CITY, OK73112

366-0923

Marilyn Best & Coleen Woody
1518 N.W 29th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73106
(405) 525-2174

GENERAL PRACTICE OF LAW
including but not limited to
WILLS • CONTRACTS • DIVORCE
BANKRUPTCY • ADOPTION .

HELEN HOLGATE
Certified Alcoholism & Drug Abuse
Counselor