extracted text

r.-operty of the Ce:.• l':'.r
THE NEWSLETTER
OF FRIENDSNORTH,
INC.,

N

an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgendered

w

E

K

VOLUME

WorldAIDSDay
Rabbi Stacie Fine

On December 1, communItIes around the world will
commemorate the tenth annual World AIDS Day. This year's
theme is "Give Children Hope in a World with AIDS" and
draws attention to the fact that almost half a million children
under the age of 15 become infected with HIV annually world
wide. It is a commemoration that calls on us to remember those
who have died, to recognize the needs of those infected, to
honor those who have dedicated their lives to education
prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS, and to, as activist
Mother Jones says, "fight like hell for the living".
Here in Northern Michigan we will gather at Central United
Methodist Church at 7:00 PM for a memorial and
commemoration marked with music, meditation and inspiration.
Importantly, our local celebration aims to include not only the
multi-faith religious community; our aim is to create a
celebration truly inclusive of everyone one the community.
Through this we affirm that HIV/AIDS affects everyone in our
community - directly or indirectly, all our lives have all been
touched by this disease.
Following the ceremony, we will walk in a candlelight vigil
from Central United Methodist to the Opera House, as a mark
WORLDAIDSDAY

continuedpage 23

THEEMPLOYMENT
NONDISCRIMINATION
ACT,(ENDA)
... is in committee now. It will probably soon go to the full
Senate for a vote. Last year it missed passageby one vote.
Senator Levin is a co-sponsor, so he should be thanked
for doing so. SenatorAbraham has taken no position, so far as
is known. He needs to be contacted to urge him to support
ENDA.
SEN.CARL LEVIN: 202-224-6221 ( senator@levin.senate.gov)
SEN. SPENCERABRAHAM : 202-224-4822
(michigan@abraham.senate.gov)==

11

•

ISSUE 5

•

and their friends.

N

NOVEMBER •

DECEMBER •

G

1~

BOARD
POSITIONS
OPEN
IT'SNOTTOOLATE!!
There is still time to become
a candidate for election to the
Friends North Board of Directors.
Put your ideas to work !
Satisfy your need to get more involved !!
Please contact Brenda Bartz at 946-2708
or Sue Schwartz at 946-3032
prior to November 30, 1997
New Board Members
will be Elected at the
Annual Membership Meeting
December 2, 1997
Unitarian Universalist Church
6726 Center Road, TC

"THE
EARLY
WORM
CATCHES
THE
BIRD"
...
So call now and reserveyour "bird" (or portion thereof), i.e.,
don't miss the:

"Friends North Thanksgiving Potluck"
Sunday November 23, 1997
4 p.m. to???
Grace Episcopal Church
"Real" turkey and soft drinks will be provided. P lease bring a
dish to pass. Those who R.S.V.P. by calling Matt or Vic on 616
223-7977 will not have to do dishes!!!

Michigan'sEthnicIntimidationAct.
Representative
McManustestifies
againstgaysand lesbians.
SeePage7

Richard Tuxbury

FriendsNorth,Inc.,P.O.Box562,TraverseCity,MI49685-0562(616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive FIN
information.)
FRIENDS
NORTH
is an organizationof lesbians,gaymen,bi-sexualsand
their friendsfrom northwesternlowerMichigan.Locatedin Traverse
City,weprovidesocialactivities,a newsletter,phoneline,workshops,
and a scholarshipfund for financialassistance.
THEBOARD
OFDIRECTORS
of FRIENDS
NORTH
is composedof nine
womenand men electedeach December.Regularboard meetingsare
held at Grace EpiscopalChurch at the Corner of Washington&
Boardmanthe first Tuesdayof every month (exceptAugust)at 6:30
p.m.Everyoneis welcometo attend.
BrendaBartz- 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aol.com
VictorDinsmore,Secretary- 616-459-5759/itsyrigloo@aol.com
Jim Groya- 616-946-7313
M'LynnHartwell-VP
- 616-943-5050/lesn more@aol.com
Jim Ingleson- 616-922-0925
CarolLambertson,Pres.- 616-275-7102
BenMaddy-616-271-3926/coolj707@aol.com
Julie Parker - 616-276-9330
SueSchwartz,Treas.- 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aol.com
NEWSLETTER
COMMITTEE:
Publicationof Networking
45° North.
Editor: RichardTuxbury:616-271-3042
or e-mail:tux00 1@aol.com
Publishing& Layout: RichardCurtis:616-929-9605
or e-mail:rlc@traverse.com
Advertising: Jim Ingleson616-922-0925
MailingList: John Evans:616-922-0746
Networking
45° Northis the newsletterof FriendsNorth,Inc.Viewpoints
expresseddo not necessarilyrepresentthose of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED
ADVEmSING
and notices are run without charge. Please
submitin writingor by callingthe editor(andleavead on machine2713042or by email.)
DISPLAY
ADVERTISING
in Networking45° Northis availablein Business
Cardsize- $25.00per spaceper issueor an annualrate of $120.00for
6 issues.Inserts and larger sized ads are available.Pleasecall Jim
Ingleson616-922-0925for rates.
SPONSORING
POLITICAL
POSTCARDS:
Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking
45°Northis $100.00.Tosponsorall or part of this,and
to giveyour input,callRichard271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS
to Networkingare welcome.Letters,essays,features,
reflections,and originalartworkshouldbe sent "c/o Editor"to above
address. (Networkingwill not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatoryor sexuallyexplicit.Contributorsare responsiblefor
obtaining permissionfrom those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES:
Issue #1, December 15.
ADDRESS
CHANGES:
Pleasenotify us in advanceif a changeis coming.

CallJohn Evans,922-0746,or e-mailchangesto jdevens@gtii.com.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS:
$15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
sendchecksor moneyordersto: FriendsNorth,P.O.Box562,Traverse
City,MI49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION:
Networking
is published 5 times per year. Copiesare
sent bulk-mailin a plain envelopeto approximately700 households.
Additionalcopies are availableat select local establishments.Our
mailinglist is not soldor traded withother organizations.

~

FROMTHEEDITOR
THE CATHOLIC BISHOPS
Finally, the American Catholic Church
has taken a progressive step forward.
In late September, after five years of

study, the Catholic Bishops issued a letter,
with the following highlights:
• They
recognize
that
sexual
orientation is not chosen freely. -"Sexual identity helps to
define the unique person we are." -"God does not love
someone any less simply because he or she is
homosexual." -Parents must not reject their gay children in
a society full of rejection and discrimination.
• Church rules should not be enforced by the parents at the
expense of their gay child.
• The churches should encourage priests to welcome
homosexuals into parishes and to help establish or promote
support groups for parents of baby children.
Priests should
let people know from the pulpit and elsewhere that they are
willing to talk about homosexual issues.
There has been a 'somewhat negative' response from the
Pope, and a clarification by the Bishops too: The church draws a
distinction between homosexual orientation and sexual activity,
and the letter is not to be understood "as an endorsement of what
some would call a 'homosexual lifestyle."' It may be hard to be
encouraged after this last statement, but the positive moves far
outweigh this clarification.
PRESIDENTIAL SUPPORT
For the first time in history, an American President will be
speaking at a Gay and Lesbian Civil Rights Event. On November
8, President Clinton will be the keynote speaker at the Human

Rights Campaign's gala national dinner in Washington, DC.
Clinton has consistently spoken up about gay/lesbian civil
rights issues with his overwhelming verbal support of the
Employment Non-Discrimination Act. As well, VP Al Gore was just
quoted as saying, "Gays and lesbians ...certainly have my
commitment to work as hard as I can" to stop anti-gay hate crimes,
find a cure for AIDS and end workplace discrimination.
"It is time for all Americans to recognize that the issuesthat face
gays and lesbians in this country are not narrow, special interests,
they are matters of basic human and civil rights," Gore told the
National Gay and LesbianTask Forceat its annual awards ceremony.
WELCOME BACK P-FLAG

Local PFLAG's Jeff Erno has put together a great newsletter
for the fall, after an absence of several months. Their next meeting,
which is open to all and everyone, is Wednesday, November 19.
NEW ADVERTISING REP FOR NEWSLETTER
Thanks go to Jim lngleson for stepping forward and assuming the job
of coordinating advertising for us. If any advertisers have questions
about billing, ad placement or changes, please call Jim at 922-0925.

See you in '98 with our 12th year of the Friends North
newsletter!

f;?Jw<(Tv,-,~~z

printed on recycledpaper
NfIWORKING
45°NORTH

-2-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Carol Lambertson

• The Nominating Committee reported thatthey are collecting
names of persons interested in running for election to the
Friends North Board. There are three 1-year and four 2year vacancies.
• Re-writing the by-laws was again discussed. M'Lynn offered
to draft a set to distribute at the October meeting.
• The status of registrations for the November Gay History
& Education Event were discussed. Registration numbers
are not at the point we would like to see; however, we plan
to forge ahead. Even though we are
taking a chance
financially, the Board feels that our credibility rests
somewhat heavily on this event.
• A guest was present to discuss a Friends North-sponsored
discussion group for transgendered persons. At this time
no request was made for financial assistance. The Board
agreed that this was a good addition to the existing groups.
• There was considerable discussion regarding our financial
situation. Friends North as an organization is struggling.
Networking 45 ° North (the newsletter) is wavering in that
membership renewals are at an all-time low. Social activities
have failed to draw large enough groups to break even
financially.
• The Board was reminded that the Mission of Friends North
is as a social organization. We are not here to make money,
but rather to provide a newsletter and social events - as
long as we can afford to do so.
• SueSchwartz, our Treasurer,puttogether the following report,
which demonstrates that, indeed, we are meeting these goals.
We're essentially spending as much as we are bringing in.

FROM
THEPRESIDENT
This is my last column. It has been an
amazing 2 years!
When I became President of the Friends
North Board over a year and a half ago, I was
naive about a lot of things. I had little knowledge of the history of
the organization and the people who created it. My ideas about
gay politics were untainted. The passing of the last several
months
have allowed me to expand this perspective.
I've developed a strong admiration for the folks who founded
this organization, and for those who kept it going. It takes strong,
courageous and committed people to move continuously forward
in order to create positive change for the g/I/6/t community.
A special thanks to everyone who gave their time and energy
to serve as Friends North Board Members over the last two years.
Your extra stamina, diligent work and dedication to the organization
demonstrate your desire to foster change for our community.
I am also grateful to the many folks out there who attended
the social events, offered ideas and advice, challenged the Board,
furnished words of encouragement and helped us to remain
focused on the jobs at hand. The Board is grateful to all of you.
I encourage each person to renew your commitment to
Friends North and to this Newsletter.
My best wishes to the 1998-99 Board!

BOARD
NOTES:

Friends North Events as of August 31, 1997
Event
Revenue
Expenses
High Tea
$84.41
$510.41
Winter Party
$68.00
$191 .52
Prom
$443.00
$1,145.55
Pride Day
$1592,41
$2461.76
Bike Tour
$6355.00
$4304.15

In an attempt to maintain good communication among the
Friends North Board of Directors, the membership and the
readers of this newsletter, this section is intended to provide you
with a synopsis of our board
meetings.
We welcome feedback in the form of phone calls, letters to the
editor and attendance at the board meetings. Please let us know if
this information is helpful to you!
Reminder: All board meetings are the first Tuesday of each
month, 6:30 pm at Grace Episcopal Church. They are open to
everyone.

TOTALS

$8613.39

This report indicates that we have spent $70.57 MORE than
we have brought in so far this year.

Highlights of the September and October Board Meetings
included the following:
• The Bike Tour was discussed it was again very
successful and much positive feedback was received from
those attending. Jim, Kirk, Gretchen, Jeff and all others
involved in the planning and organizing did a wonderful job.
This event continues to be our most attended and
best
fund-raiser.
• Membership renewals were again discussed and the need
to stay on top of this process, as it is our main source of
funding. Renewals have been at an all-time low.
• There is a need to have a person dedicated to newsletter
advertising, with a focus on collecting payments for ads.

NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

$8542.82

c5uzelle
•
•
•
•
•

Carini,G.£.iropraclor

Gentle manual adjusting
Low Force Technique (Activator Method)
Massage Therapy
Guided Meditation and Wellness Classes
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday (by appointment)

814-B S. Garfield• Traverse City, MI 49686
Res: 616-922-9272 • Office 616-933-4424

-3-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

* A special thank you to Alan Williams for all the quality time and
work on our City Commission Candidate Project. Alan also designed
the new Common Voices Logo.

SPENDYOURWINTERWITH

Common Voices
THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP

A

RAISING
COMMON
VOICES

1qt, t4e- ?-~ ~q~"""'t'T
Ed Richardson
Common Voices-The FriendsNorth RapGroup wantsto welcome
everyonein our gll;ly\:community. We want the insightand wisdom from
all generations.It is an extremely beautiful experience to witness all the
sharing between our various ages and ooth sexes. Our safe and
comfortablegatheringsmake it so much easierfor thosewho are taking a
"first step" into our community. There are not "clicks" and no one who
attendsCommon Voices eventsis ignored. If you needto talk, Common
Voices will always make time for you. So, why don't you join us?
Common Voices continues to grow and is now offering much
more than just the popular 2nd Wednesday of each month rap
session.
Our 4th Wednesday monthly local restaurant dinner (Common
Nibbles) gains in attendance. We choose a different dining
establishmenteach month.
We recently held a special event potluck and hike which proved
very successful (and enjoyable!) Thanks to one of our regular
Common Voices members. We would like to plan more "special
events"-just need input as to what is wanted. Please let Common
Voices know!
I am pleasedto report that Common Voices has become politically
alert by taking an active interest in the candidates running for the
TraverseCity City Commission. We felt it was extremely vital to educate
ourselves (and hopefully Networking 45 ° readers) because we
, strongly believe what happens politically on sexual orientation issues
in TraverseCity can influence the surrounding area.
Common Voices offers a free subscription to our monthly
newsletter (which is also a reminder of our gatherings and special
events.)To receive your copy, phone Edor Tom at the numbers listed
below. We need your name(s) and mailing address. (telephone
numbers are appreciated but optional). Our mailing list is confidentialno names/addresseswill be given out by anyone in Common Voices.
Common Voices/The Rap Group gatherings on the Second
Wednesdayof each month at 7 :30 pm in the basementlounge at Grace
Episcopal Church, 349 Washington St., Traverse City. Parking is
available in back and you can usethe rear entrance. Common Voices
people will be near the main church entrances until 7:30 to direct firsttimers to the lounge. Our rap sessionsoften include topics and videos
but more importantly, includes time for anyone who needsto talk and/
or vent in a safe environment.
Common Nibbles-the 4th Wednesday (7:00 pm) monthly local
restaurantgatheringchoosesa different dining establishment.Common
Nibbles has proven to be an excellent regular event with quality
interaction (and quality food) Call Ed or Tom at numbers listed below
for restaurantof the month.
Forany information aoout Common Voices/RapGroup/restaurant
choices/our newsletter mailing/special events - phone Ed 947-4697
or Tom 275-6127.
~a-le- pta-~e,

NE1WORKING
45'NORTH

-4-

Alan Williams
Traverse City used to have a well-kept secret called the
Friends North Rap Group. However, that secret is out-and so is
the name. Common Voices, as the Rap Group is now known, has
grown. Once, only a few people met once a month to discuss a
variety of topics; these days, the second-Wednesday meetings
have a regular audience in the double digits, and the fourthWednesday dinners (nicknamed "Common Nibbles" by some of
the participants) usually do aoout as well.
Haven't been to a Common Voices meeting? You don't know
what you're missing.
Common Voices calls itself "A safe space for the gay
community," but it's more than that. All are welcome, and though
members plan topics in advance, there's always room for
discussion of any topic a member might have on her or his mind.
The setting is informal and relaxed; there's room for both humor
and seriousness in a Common Voices meeting. If you haven't
attended a meeting in a while, or if you've never been to one, you
might find it worth your time to drop in at the Grace Episcopal
Church (349 Washington Street, in Traverse City) on the second
Wednesday of the month, at around 7:30, and see what's up.
Topics vary from month to month. October's topic was gay
culture; in November, it's a discussion on "Couples and Singles,"
and December will feature a discussion on "Surviving the
Holidays." There are videos and social gatherings. One member is
already planning a holiday party! In the past few months, there have
been potlucks and even a short hike at members' homes. The
location of the dinner varies from month to month, so it's a good
idea to call ahead to see where the group is gathering.
There's an occasional misconception that Common Voices is a
men-only group. Not so; Common Voices encourages diversity
within the group, and welcomes women within its ranks. If you have
a topic on your mind or just want to see what the buzz is about,
then come check out Common Voices. You'll be glad you came.
For more details, contact Tom Barkley (275-6127) or Ed
Richardson (947-4697). Hope to see you soon!

The comfortable gathering place for friends and couples.

David Schulz & Jim Walker
212 Park Street, Bellaire, Michigan 49615
800-545-0780 • (616) 533-6077
VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

City. Smyka, again, had no comment. Estesqualified his response:
"If any organization feels that I am their best candidate; I would
accept their endorsement. However, if I feel that the endorsement
would attempt to force me to make illegal or questionable decisions,
I would not accept the endorsement."
For further information regarding the candidates' responses,
please contact Common Voices via Friends North, at 616-9461804.

COMMON
VOICES
POLLS
CITY
COMMISSION
CANDIDATES
Common Voices sent the candidates for City Commission a
short questionnaire to learn more about the candidates' feelings
toward the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered (GLBT) community.
Of the candidates, only Margaret Dodd, Michael Estes,Robert Peltz,
and Linda Smyka responded. Shelly Kester, Tom Gilbert, Diane
Dennis, and Jim Tompkins did not respond.
Dodd, Estes,Peltz, and Smyka were, overall, supportive of the
gay community in their responses. When asked, "Do you think a
Human Rights Commission is needed in this area?" all three
responded positively. Dodd added that the HRC "will be needed
even more as our population becomes more diverse and
representative of the country as a whole." Estes wrote, "The
protection of human rights is one of the responsibilities of
government.
I feel that the local government has a definite
responsibility to make sure that the rights of its population are
respected and protected."
All four respondents support the addition of a sexual
orientation clause to Traverse City's anti-discrimination ordinance.
Peltz wrote, "If elected, I would encourage this issue to be placed
on the City Commission agenda." Dodd wrote, "I believe that gays
are now the group most likely to be victims of bias crime and among
those most likely to be discriminated against. Even so, there is still
no state or federal protection on which they can rely. The city
needs to do what it can to change this-other cities do." Esteswas
the only one who disagreed, because he felt that an addition to the
ordinance "would give preference to hiring practices that would
result in the employment of less qualified individuals simply to
satisfy quota requirements."
On the question of legalizing same-sex domestic partnerships
in Traverse City, Peltz and Dodd felt that they did not understand
the issuewell enough to respond with a "yes" or "no." Peltz wrote,
"I'm not sure I know enough about this issue, but I'm willing to be
informed."
Estes made a distinction between "marriage" and
"domestic partnerships": "If you mean do I support same sex
marriage, no. However, same sex partnerships that are legal are
perfectly all right with me." Smyka had no response.
Peltz and Dodd also indicated that they had no problem with
receiving an endorsement from a GLBT organization in Traverse

Letters
Dear Friends,
Sincere appreciation has to go out to Brenda, Kirk, Jim (and
others who helped!) for choosing such a beautiful hiking trail and
an absolutely perfect fall Sunday for the Friends North sponsored
Autumn Hike and Potluck on October 12th. The attendance was
wonderful and the potluck, at Brenda's promoted excellent
interaction and helped keep friendships alive. It never ceases to
amaze me what a healthy dose of nature (and eating together) does
to bring our sense of community together. Events, such as this,
do much to tear down the walls of separation within our glbt
family.
-Ed Richardson.

T

T

Note: The letter below was sent to us by two friends who lived in
TC and moved to California. I thought you might enjoy it. The Editor.
Hello,
We promised each other before we left for our first
international vacation, we would send out thank you letters and
update everyone on the California AIDS Ride-which proved to
be an incredible event for the two of us.
We wanted to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for
your support. Whether you supported us emotionally, spiritually,
financially or all three we could not have done the ride without

LETTERS
continuednextpage

•

BP ENTERPRISES

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BRAD STURTEVANT
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100% bio-available, synergistically
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at wholesale"

{616}941-8868
:F~{616} 941-9063
•:Hrs9am-7 m'Daifg • Outoftown

Phone(616)276-5794
Fax: (616) 276-5794
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NE1WORKJNG
45°NORTH

fumeB00-876-8868

1081 S . .9Lirort ~at!'West, 'TraverseCity, 9,{J 49686 (Co{onialSquare)

-5-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

Letters (continuedfrompreviouspage)
INTERCEPTEDLETTER:
MCMANUS RELIESON HYSTERIAAND BIGOTRY

you. Together we were able to raise over $9,000.00 for the
designated beneficiaries.
There was a total of 2476 riders-roughly
54% from
Southern California and 46% from northern California.
Collectively, we raised close to 9.5 million dollars, which goes on
record as being the largest AIDS fund-raiser in the world. The 7
days of 583 miles were long and tiresome, but with the support of
fellow riders and the cheers from enthusiastic spectators, we were
reminded that we were not alone. In fact, I think it is fair to say we
never traveled for more than 15 miles from San Francisco to Los
Angeles without someone waving banners from a porch,
displaying signs from a Winnebago, or passing out fruit from
church groups assembled in parking lots. We all shared in the
brutal climbs and scaled the grueling grades of the California coast
as we learned to adjust to the peculiarities of camp life-a life
defined by waiting in line for food, showers and toilets. It was an
incredible experience and a rewarding accomplishment we will not
soon forget.
Let us share just a few of our wonderful experiences that
brought us to tears nearly everyday:
• A migrant farm worker who, when told of the purpose of
the ride, explained she lost a son to AIDS and went back
into the field to collect $1.67 for the cause.
• Being greeted in Guadeloupe by the towns' children who
made paper flowers for us and waited to shake our hands.
• The man who stopped his car on the side of the road
waving a $20 bill at an AIDS rider and saying "please take
this"
• The group of 20 or so developmentally disabled youth who
lined up in their wheelchairs on the side of the road and
cheered as we rode by with smiles as big as Texas
• The 50+ year old mother who rode with her HIV positive
son, every mile, every hill, every day
• The rider who we nicknamed "Rainbow Man" who road a
tandem bike with an empty rear seat, in memory of his 7
year old nephew Dylan
• Riding down the Avenue of the Stars-entering Century
City with 2400 other riders into a sea of 8,000 friends and
family members who had gathered to support us as we
rode the last mile of our trek
• Having the chilling experience of hearing my mom yell
"Skeeter, Skeeter" out of a crowd of 8,000 supporters into
a crowd of 2,400 cyclists, and having my step-dad waive
two huge bouquets of flowers for Cindy and me because
we were their heroes!
Would we do it again? Absolutely! In fact, my mom and stepdad were so empowered by this event that they have donated
their semi truck and trailer to help support the Minneapolis to
Chicago AIDS Ride next year as part of the volunteer crew. Guess
where we'll be next July?
Many, many thanks for making this possible.
Much love,
Cindy & Skeeter

...

NElWORKING
45'NORTH

Dear Rep. Dobronski:
I am a member of the Detroit Human Rights Commission and I
am an officer at large in the Michigan Democratic Party. I am writing
to request your active support of Rep. Lynn Martinez's proposed
amendment to the Ethnic Intimidation law. The amendment would
add the phrase "sexual orientation" to the law.
I testified briefly before the Constitutional Rights Committee on
October 14th. It was quite clear that the one opponent of the bill
(rep. McManus) had no logic or rationale to justify her opposition.
She relied on hysteria and bigotry.
First, McManus said that including sexual orientation would
protect pedophiles. This was an effort to immediately take the debate
to the gutter! Detroit, Ann Arbor, EastLansing, Ferndale, Douglas,
Oak Park and Flint all have sexual orientation in local measures
already. In Detroit, we do not protect pedophiles ... we prosecute
them. It is outrageously insulting to suggest that Detroit (which
adopted its law more than 30 years ago) somehow protects
pedophiles. In fact, twelve statesand hundreds of cities now include
sexual orientation in civil rights law. Nowhere has any court ruled
that this phrase applies to child molesters. The argument is 100%
hysteria and Rep. McManus should be ashamed of herself.
Secondly, McManus referred to the First Amendment rights of
gay-haters. The Ethnic Intimidation law does not prevent Nazis from
believing whatever they choose to believe. The law applies only
when they act on that belief by committing an otherwise criminal act
such as vandalism or assault. Although we have laws against
vandalism and assault on the books now, the new measure would
provide for greater penalties.
I am a former School Board member, former County
Commissioner, former CongressionalAide and former StaffAttorney
for the Court of Appeals. I have been practicing law for 14 years and
also have a license to practice social work. The September Michigan
Bar Journal includes my article entitled "Sexual orientation and
Michigan Law." I sent a copy to committee chair Vaughn and asked
him to distribute it. If you have any questions about the LEGALaffect
of the amendment, please feel free to contact me.
Rudy Serra
(313) 331-RUDY
RASERRA@voyager.net

LETTERS
continuednextpage

I

Raf'ker

.u

-

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Creek Nurse1y

LANDSCAPING
AND GARDENCENTER•

Gordon
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...

-6-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Letters (continuedfrompreviouspage)
Michelle McManus
104th District
607 George Romney Bldg.
Lansing, Ml 48913

out specifically, to recognize that blacks and gays are constant
targets of bigots and to publicize it and protect us all.
Unfortunately this is absolutely necessaryand in no way is it a
request for a law that will benefit only certain members of society.
Education, tolerance, and understanding is the answer and a
full understanding of the problem is something our government
should have and protect at this point, full understanding must be
taught. Please appreciate the benefits of HB-4674
Sincerely
Christine E. Morey, Traverse City, Ml

Dear Ms. McManus:
Please reconsider your rejection of House Bill #4674. It is vital
that homosexual citizens be specifically included (not isolated) not
given special privileges, just awareness to all hate mongers. It is
well known blacks and gays are main targets.
As a parent of three grown children-one of whom is gay; I
have seen first hand the terrible toll ignorance takes on the
innocent lives of decent human beings. Our sexual orientation is
not chosen.
In our lovely city blacks and gay people have been assaulted,
physically and mentally. We are a capsule of ignorant America.
Our Human Rights Commission is reduced to ashes by the
City Commission appointment of the head of the hate filled John
Birch Society; a very strang.etwisted rambling eccentric man. Sad.
Commissioner JasperWeese-a poster boy for bigotry, and Shelly
Kester who doesn't know any better, are in charge of deciding
who and what may be involved in Human Rights issues. They
must be 'acceptable' to the Commissioners, a sheep-like group of
"I dunno, what are you gonna vote" mentality, thus ending,
literally, by their closed mindes - Human Rights.
This is neither a conservative, liberal, republican, democratic
issue! It is a human decency issue. It is true honest awareness.
Special consideration is not what this Bill #4674 is about. To
advance our society's issuesmust be spelled out clearly. We must
reach out and support good citizens in need of protection from
the hate faction. We are neither promoting or demoting anyone.
We all deserve human rights and decency.
Thank you for hearing me out 'via mail.' I speak for caring
loving parents, lost scared teens, and adults against cruelty and
ignorance.
We are unfortunately often a nation of groups, good, bad,
indifferent and threatening. We must consistently work on
improvement.
To work against House Bill #4674 is to work against equal
rights, which in this case is to educate people. It must be spelled

WHYDOI CONCERN
MYSELF
WITHTHESE
MATTERS?
Apathysucks ... but whocares?
Apathy is a human disease in which its victims become selfish
and oblivious of the world around them. It leads people to not
care, and often it causes them to ignore anything that does not
concern them-In the worse case scenario ignoring things that do
concern them. This is truly pathetic! Apathy is a major problem in
our LGBT community where very few people work extremely hard
to accomplish goals, host activities and provide events for the
entire membership.
Apathy, on a personal level, is not necessarily inexcusable. It
is true, we all have our own responsibilities that require us to
prioritize our time. But, when reruns of "The Simpsons"' or
"Jeopardy" (reruns of Ellen are however an acceptable excuse)
and goofing-off become more important than contributing our
personal resources to the health and well-being of our community,
apathy becomes a stagnating and destructive scourge upon us. I
realize that being part of the solution is much more difficult and a
lot less fun than being part of the problem, but I urge you ...
please try: Write letters/articles. Offer constructive suggestions.
Help plan and plan to attend Friends North events. Renew/Join
Friends North (very important! Memberships and advertising pay
the costs of producing the 45 Degrees North newsletter in your
hands).
Oh ... and to those individuals who made the Friends North
Autumn Hike a huge success ... Thank you Brenda for opening

LETTERS
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NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

LITTERS
continuedfrompreviouspage
up your home for us to use; and Jeff and Kirk ... I loved the old
fashioned Apple Cider press and the wonderful fresh cider you
squeezed out of it! It was wonderful to meet all of the new people
and renew old friendships.
-M'Lynn Hartwell

...

behavior is described in books on the history of the homosexual
movement. Review the photographs of the past and present and
realize that transgendered people have been a part of the
homosexual community from the start.
To express a gender other than one in accordance with your
birth sex seems preposterous and deceptive to many. To
conform to the majority is self-defeating and it just doesn't work in
the long run. We all must resolve the needs of our souls, or suffer.
Recall your first timid realizations that your behavior didn't
coincide with the majority.
Remember the hiding, the guilt, and the fear. To not abide by
paranoia requires the pride many of us learn to rely on to survive.
It's sad when you loose your old friends and they leave in disgust.
When your family distances themselves from you because of the
shame they feel in your presence. You experience loneliness and
despair. Who would choose to live such abuse if they had any
choice in the matter? Where the individual's
psychology is
involved, I believe that the mind takes precedence over the
body.
There's a difference between sex and gender. In my case, if I think
I'm a female, aren't I?
Try to keep an open mind and be patient with the
transgendered. We are a deeply closeted group that needs a place
where we can be accepted regardless of our appearance. We all
face the same tormentors. Together we stand, divided we fall.
Thank you
Trisha Marie
Petoskey - (nirvana@freeway.net)

...

Dear Friends North,
If I may start, it has taken me awhile to respond to M'Lynn
Hartwell's article in the Friends North Newsletter, that I got back
in June. I liked the article that welcomes transgendered. Yes, I am
a transgender person that lives in Kalkaska. I am still in the closet
with fears of being falsely labeled. I would like to come to a club or
meeting.
Name withheld by request

T

T

T

A response from the Editor:
Please read the article in this issue of 45 ° North, entitled
"Trans-Group Interest," by Gwen Larson aboutthe effort to form
a "T-Support Group" in the greater Grand Traverse area. If you
are not already a member of Friends North, Inc., please consider
joining us and participating in our many activities and events
throughout the year.

...
Letter to the Editor
I'm thankful to all those individuals involved in the recent
board decision to include the transgendered among the Friends
North membership. An organization grows by becoming inclusive
of all people who share commonality with the primary cause.
Unfortunately the transgender minority is poorly connected, so
word of this recent inclusion will spread slowly among us. The
opportunity to become a part of the Friends North
community will
be beneficial and I'd like to express my appreciation and thanks to
the Board for their decision.
I had heard that the argument for non-inclusion of the
transgendered in past gay pride marches was because the
transgendered as a group, can be a visual detriment. We can look
pretty outlandish because the majority of us
can't afford the
complex surgeries, hormonal treatments; wardrobes or the
legal
documentation needed to live in the gender opposite our birth sex.
The impediments to our transitions are formidable. We refer to
getting medical approval for hormonal treatment as "jumping
through the hoops". The whole process is quite costly. The trans
appearance often doesn't conform to the societal ideal of what a
man or woman should look like. I'm glad that the Friends North
group is attempting to see beyond appearance to
the deeper
reasons for behavior in their analysis of the subject.
Historically, transgendered people have been around since
the beginning of time. Images of the transgendered appear
archeologically in the form of artifacts and sculpture. Trans

NEWTRANSGROUP
ORGANIZES
by Gwen Larson

This has been several years in the making, but there comes a
time when you have to take the chance and reveal your secret side
to more than just a couple of other people. With this in mind I'll
continue.
As with other individuals of a similar nature, I grew up as a
male who was attracted to dressing in women's clothing since
around the age of eight. Obviously, I was limited to getting into
my mom's things at that time. The desire to wear women's clothing
never left me, and for many years I thought I was the only one
anywhere who was this weird. When I was thirty-six I shared my
secret with my wife to be, which prompted a search for
information on the subject of transvestitism. Eventually, through
a family counselor, we were put in touch with Crossroads in Royal
Oak, a support group for transgendered persons. Contact with
that group led to another support group known as IME of Western
Michigan in Grand Rapids. I have been a member of IME for
several years, and without their support and that of my wife, I

THE ONLYONEcontinuednextpage
NE1WORKING
45'NORTH

-8-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

KIRKcontinuedfrompreviouspage

out... He was catching flak from his parents because he hadn't been
dating any girls - he really didn't have any interest in girls. We had
talked about that ... maybe we should hang out with girls because
someone is going to start to talk ... but that night we had a huge
argument and ended up going our separateways."
Two years later Kirk stood up with this young man at his wedding.
"When he turned to take the ring he looked me in the eye. That was
probably one of the most difficult things that I've ever had to deal with.
It was a very confusing time of my life. It had not been a one-sided
relationship. If he could get married, maybe I'm not gay either."
During this time Kirk dated girls and finally met one to whom he
became engaged and Iived with for three years. But that fell apart and
Kirk finally decided he was not going to pretend any more.
"Those feelings didn't go away."
Through all of this and in spite of the emotional turmoil, Kirk was
gainfully employed at work he enjoyed. Right out of high school he
went to work for a fire safety company as a safety coordinator. This
job took him all over the statesettingup safetyprogramsin universities,
schools, factories, even the state prison system. Among his
company's clients was Tr~verseCity Area Public Schools. After six or
so yearsof travelling from shoreto shore and stateline to state line, he
naturally turned to a familiar place near home.
"I had done safety work for the school systemso I knew the ins
and outs of the entire layout, and I was looking for a change... They
had some positions open. I applied. They called me and I was hired."
Kirk worked at Bertha Vos Elementaryfor several years before
being transferred in January of this year to Norris ElementarySchool
where he is a custodian.
"I am the youngest in historyto have a lead shift custodial position
in the elementary school. I was thirty when I stepped into that
position."
Kirk thoroughly enjoys his work and the children love him.
"They've gotten me a nameplatefor my door that says'Mr Kirk'.
That's the name they gave me. They seemto know when Mr. Kirk is
having a down day and needs a hug."
Outside of his work and his activities with FriendsNorth, Kirk has
always done volunteer work with such organizations as Alzheimer's
Association, the March of Dimes, and volunteer work at school.
"I go to NMC and talk every term to the human sexuality class. I
always get the same comment: Kirk, you don't look gay... I enjoy
breaking stereotypes." Kirk is running for one of the positions open
on the Friends North Board next month.

WORDSANDMUSIC:WHAT'SNEWIN
CD'sANDTAPES
BOOKS,
MAGAZINES,
By Rick Gould
With the holidays upcoming, here are some suggestions from
our local book and music stores:
At The Bookie Joint, Shelley recommends: pride jewelry,
bumper stickers, pride T-shirts, and over 1,500 used books of gay
and lesbian interest. Bring in your books to trade and save
money.
From Borders, Aimee's FallM'inter book picks:
Michael Nava, a consumate storyteller, try "How Town,"
$4.99 or "The Little Death" at $9.95. His newest work, due out
now is "The Burning Plain" at $20.65.
Mark Richard Zubro, whose mysteries keep you guessing
until the final pages, try "Rust on the Razor" at $10.95, "Another
Dead Teenager" at$ 9.95 or "Echo of Death" for $8.95.
Claire McNab, a great wit and character, stars in "Lessons in
Murder" at $10.95. McNab's newest' "Chain Letter" is due out
this month.
"Rita Will," the new biography by Rita Mae Brown, is $22.55.
P.S.: Good books, good coffee, great people ...sound like a
winning combination? Then you ought to stop by the Lesbian and
Gay Book Club at Borders Books & Music. We sit, talk about
books, share a few laughs, and generally have a great time in a
relaxed atmosphere. In November, we'll be reading "Entries From
a Hot Pink Notebook" by Todd D. Brown, which tells the sweet
and funny story of a 14 year old boy coming out, finding love,
and coping in a homophobic school setting. We average about a
dozen people at each meeting, but new faces keep things fun and
interesting. Even if you haven't read the book for the month,
please come by and join the discussion, and help pick the book
for the next month. The group meets on the last Monday of every
month at Borders' Cafe, Espresso, at 7:30 p.m. All book group
titles are 20% off.
At AB CD's, Norm gave us this list:
Andrea Bocelli's "Romanza." This disc has topped all the
charts in Europe for most of the year 1997. Andrea is a wonderful
Italian vocalist and his current disc has finally made a stateside
WORDS&MUSICcontinuednextpage

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NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-17-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

WORDS& MUSICcontinuedfrompreviouspage

appearance in September. Sung primarily in Italian the set includes
a wonderful duet with Sarah Brightman (Christine from
Phantom
of the Opera), a #1 hit in Europe, "Time to Say Goodbye."
Sarah Brightman - "Surrender - The Unexpected Songs." The
lastest Brightman effort is an import from Canada and is comprised
completely of Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes. Songs from Aspects
of Love, Song and Dance, Cats, JesusChrist Superstar and Sunset
Blvd,-Brightman
delivers.
Loreena McKennitt - "Book of Secrets." McKennitt's seventh
recording and supposedly her last. There is no new ground
covered with this recording but then again why mess around with
proven material?
McKennitt far and wide surpasses her
contemporaries with little studio production and overdubbing.
This is pure composition and delivery with incredible style.
"The Life" - original Broadway Cast Recording - the material
and subject matter seem slightly odd but the performances are
incredible. The plot revolves around the pimps and hookers of
1970s Time Square. Drama Desk Award Winner and Tony Award
nominations abound from this musical. Featured performers
range from Sam Harris (Tony nominee), Chuck Cooper (Tony
Award winner) and Pamela Isaacs. Unfortunately, the hottest
ticket on Broadway will see Sam Harris leave the company but the
performance will live on with the soundtrack recording.
At Horizon, Jennifer gave us these selections:
"Walt Whitman: A Gay Life," by Gary Schmidgall, $32.95.
Drawing from Whitman's poetry, private journals and letters, the
author explores Whitman's life as an artist and man.
"The Girls Next Door," by Lindsey Van Gelder and Pamela
Robin Bandt, $13.00. This is a cross-country trip covering the
United States and filled with short stories on lesbian life from all
the states.
"Tuesdays with Morrie," by Mitch Alborn, $19.95. This is the
true story about life's lessonsgiven to us by an elderly dying man.
Alborn, the Detroit Free Press columnist gives us an intimate
account of his friendship with his former teacher.
"Am I Blue?," by Marion Bauer, $5.95. Original short stories
by a variety of famous authors. The stories honestly portray the
subject of growing up gay or lesbian.
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us the following:
"The Accidental Activist," by Candace Gingrich, $12.00.
Sister of Newt's memoir is now out in paper.
"The Farewell Symphony," by Edmund White, $25.00. The
long-awaited final book of the literary trilogy is complete. This is
the follow-up to "A Boy's Own Story" and "The Beautiful Room
Is Empty."
"The Lavender Screen, Revised and Updated," by Boze
Hadleigh, $19.95. This has more films covered in the update to
this fun and imformative book.
"Marcus Schenkenberg: New Rules," by Marcus S., $27.50.
That European supermodel takes an in-depth look at the hardships
of modelling. Pictures? You bet! Plus, an introduction by Gianni
Versace.
Remember, these stores appreciate your comments and business.
NfIWORKING45°NORTH

LOOKING
OTHER
WAYHURTS
USALL
reprinted w/permission of
Loraine Anderson, Regional Editor, Traverse City Record-Eagle

I saw my first Queer Reserve Note-a $3 bill with President
Clinton in the oval-at a local gun and key shop about four years ago
during the height of the gay military ban debate.
I said nothing, but I did write a short story. In the story, a lesbian
went to the shop to have a key made and saw the $3 bill. She felt
exhausted. This was what she hated about being out. It was never
over.
Right thought, right action, shetold herselfbefore telling the shop
owner how the $3 bill affected her. Shedidn't usethe word offensive.
It went deeper than that. The $3 bill was hurtful, shesaid. It hurt them
both, but mostly him becauseof his intention. He scoffed.
I saw my second $3 bill last winter at a downtown restaurant.It
was taped to the cash register.I askedthe owner if I could have a word
with him.
"You're what?" he askedwhen I told him I was a lesbianand that
I found his $3 bill hurtful. He told me I was too sensitive.Neither of us
were angry, nor were we comfortable I left, shakingfrom fear I'd been
holding off. It had taken me all of my adult life and a short story to get
to that conversation.
I saw my third $3 bill just last month at an area shoe shop. I felt
exhausted.I knew this would mean another round of anguishand soul
searching.
Say something. It's the right thing to do.

Don't say anything. It won't change anything.
Probably not, but you' re not trying to changeanyone. You' re just
not letting things like this change you.
Peace, harmony, right thought, right action.

As I drove back to work from the shoe shop, I thought about the
$3 bills and the freedom people haveto putthem on their wal I.I thought
about my freedom to say something about them. I thought about
Disney and the courage it shows by including sexual orientation in its
non-discrimination policies and by giving benefitsto partnersof its gay
and lesbian employees. I thought about the importance of the Ellen
coming-out episode and gay pride events.
I have often likened growing up in a homophobic culture to
growing up in an abusive home where you are battered daily
psychologically and mentally to the point that you don't recognize the
abuse. It keepsyou quiet and isolatedfrom other people like yourself.
Becauseof your isolation, you start believing the hateful things people
say. You are filled with self-loathing.
And you never speak up and neither does anyone else. In the
end, maybe you don't even see it.
This is how oppression blinds and silences.It is in this fearful quiet
that prejudice and stereotypesfesterunchecked, settinga societal tone
that makes people think they can hit "a nigger," and a "faggot'' and get
away with it.
The only antidote is seeing and naming it.
That's why I have to say something about the $3 bills.
They hurt their targets, the people who put them up and our
community. And they won't come down until a lot of straight people
say something.
And I have to wonder if anyone did. Or do we quietly accept $3
bills hanging on walls and cash registersin TraverseCity?
-18-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
S • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

THE ONLYONEcontinuedfrompreviouspage

would still be thinking that I was the "only one". I am fortunate to
have the freedom to explore my feelings, and am now very
comfortable with my feminine side. In fact, I believe that it makes
up the majority of my being. I like that in a person.
During my tenure to find myself, I have met quite a few
transgendered individuals in Traverse City and the surrounding
area. I am convinced that there are many more out there, who think
they are the "only ones". Recently, in the Petoskey area there was
an attempt to organize a support group that met with limited
success.This effort was finally abandoned. I believe that there is a
serious need for such a group in Northern Michigan, and with the
help and support of Friends North, Inc., it is possible to start a
support group. With a little help from Friends North, and the 45
Degrees North Newsletter we will be able to achieve a successful
transgender support organization in Northern Michigan.
I am offering my time and energy to make a serious effort, but
of course I will need help from the people who are interested. It
will be your support group. The very fact that you are reading this
article in 45 Degrees North shows a growing level of support and
understanding for our regional transgendered people. I met with
the FN Board Of Trustees at their October meeting, and have
gained their approval to begin forming a transgendered support
group. It is up to us now.
If you have an interest in joining a growing and caring local "T"
Support Group (transvestite, cross-dresser, cross-gendered,
transgendered,transsexual,and friends & families of), contact me at:
T-Support Group
c/o Gwen Larson
Box 562
Traverse City, Ml 49685-0562

If you have a computer, you may wish to visit the following
web
address that
contains
HIV
Resources: http://
www.HIVpositive.com
-the comprehensive resource for HIV
and AIDS, covering a wide range of topics that impact quality of
life. Over 3,000 files of useful educational information for all those
concerned and involved.
This is Phoebe Hanshew, Student Pride Coordinator and
GLSEN Intern. Y'all might remember that Student Pride is a new
project of GLSEN's to network all the Gay-Straight Alliances and
student activists in the country so that starting and sustaining
those kinds of groups is easier. We will soon have a web site,
newsletter, and e-mail lists to facilitate communication between
students as well as advisors for the groups.

A Student Pride web site is now forming. When school starts
we need to be ready to respond to the needs of student activists.
Here's where you come in! You can help me and Student
Pride by sending me the names of high schools in your area that
have student groups that deal with LGBT issues. They can be
overall diversity clubs, Human Rights clubs, GSAs, or support
groups. If it is possible, send along the name of a faculty or student
contact, and address or phone number of the school. Even if you
aren't positive that there is a group I can still use the information.
I know these groups are out there ... help connect them to this
important network and put hands on our mission to make schools
better places.
E-MAIL: studentpride@glstn.org

V
Coming out can seem easier in the Age of Internet: teens no
longer need to feel so isolated, for example, and adults have
alternatives to bars, softball games and cruising zones. By some
estimates, as many as 10 million LGBT's may be online, with an
unknown percentage in the closet. And yet, there's a catch: the
internet is still in its infancy: accessing the right information can be
a laborious, frustrating chore.
For this reason, PlanetOut (www.planetout.com) and the
National Coming Out Project of the HRC (http://www.hrc.org/
neap/index.html) have joined forces to create a new coming out

or by e-mail at <GwenChrist@aol.com>.

ELECTRONIC
CORNUCOPIA
by M'Lynn Hartwell

I am seeking feedback from our readership on the
establishment of a new column I am considering calling, Electronic
Cornucopia. As more and more of our 45 Degrees North readers
acquire computers, I am hoping that this column may be of value
in locating interesting and useful web sites.

HAIR

FORCE

CORNUCOPIA
continuednextpage

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NfIW0RKING45°N0RTH

-9-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • N0VMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

CORNUCOPIA
continuedfrompreviouspage

tool. GayHelp will consolidate existing resources as well as
creating new-to-the-world resources for families, friends and
questioning LGBT's ... as well as to out LGBT's seeking the advice
and damage control.
The interactive "virtual panel," modeled after the Boston GLB
Speakers Bureau, will disseminate the experiences not only of
LGBT's, but also of their allies, clergy, parents and children. Out
LGBT's will find coming out experiences, strategies and tips,
targeted recommendations, and Outsource, our answer to antigay rhetoric. For every debate on Gay Parenting which doesn't
mention the studies of children raised by lesbians, for every time
you've heard Gays in the Military debated without reference to
the failed attempt to show homosexuals unfit for service ... now
there's Outsource, a Pro&Con of famous studies and opinion
pieces that every LGBT should have.
A free-text interface will help skittish visitors to explore at their
own pace, without facing issues before they're prepared. Many
current, excellent resources reside on sites such as... well, such
as PlanetOut and the HRC, which can scare newcomers to the
community with calls to action, and terminology such as "dyke"
and "queer." GayHelp will therefore be available through it's own
kinder, gentler URL, www.gayhelp.com.

known for his outspoken and off-the-wall preaching during the
meetings and many times dominated them with his overpowering
demeanor. This summer, in a controversial move by current
conservative commission members, Schoech was appointed to the
T.C. Human Rights Commission with the charge of protecting
minority rights and gay rights in Traverse City.
Marki quickly became a household name known by the
public, and he stood by his virulent statements which condemned
gays and lesbians. In a particularly charged commission meeting,
he was chastised for his remarks about gays by local attorney
Dean Robb. In this, Robb issued a challenge to Commissioner
Marki. With this, Marki agreed that if Robb and his friends could
gather a certain number of voter signatures asking for Marki to
resign, then he would leave the city commission.
The story was picked up around the state, and immediately
became notable in the New York Times as well as the Wall Street
Journal. Markl's comment about gays was even used as a lead-in
for a new book on discrimination against gays and lesbians. It
seemed that the discussion occurring in Traverse City was one of
the first to have public exposure.
Within a matter of a couple days after the challenge was
issued, many more than enough signatures were gathered and a
surprised Marki was confronted for his promised resignation.
Marki declined to resign despite the overwhelming number of
signatures condemning him for his outspoken, anti-gay opinions.
Mysteriously, it appears that some not-so-gentle pressurewas
placed on him by a local person and after this confrontation John
Marki quickly resigned. He then disappeared from public view.
Meanwhile, his statements and the reaction and antics of the
city commission had raised a timely issue-one that would come
years later to small town America around the country. The subject
of gays and lesbians became the number one topic in the RecordEagle and the letters to the editor were numerous. The religious
extremists, apparently led by Matthew Schoech, continued to
gather at the weekly commission meetings to condemn all gays and
lesbians and to quote from the Bible. Locai gays and lesbians also
gathered to state their opinions and defend themselves.
With Markl's resignation, things calmed down. His offhand gaybashing comments sparked a fire in the gay community. Local people
quickly learned that the heretofore invisible gays and lesbians were
their neighbors and coworkers. Area residents were warned by the
religious extremists that Traverse City was quickly becoming a San
Francisco drawing gays and lesbians from the Midwest. Although
this may not have been the case, gays and lesbians began coming
out by writing to the paper and it became clear that there were many
straight supporters of civil rights in the City.
Well, Traverse City never did get its condom machines in the
public restrooms. jasper Weese was defeated the next time he ran
for re-election. Many local gays and lesbians began to come out
and speak up. Friends North grew to become a more significant
and representative organization because of this dialogue around
Markl's opinions. And, now John Marki has been convicted of a
crime that many of us would consider to be done only by those
who are "the most disgusting and filthiest people on earth."

FORMER
T.C. COMMISSIONER
SENTENCED:
REMEMBRANCES
OFMARKL'S
ASSAULT
ONGAYSYEARS
AGO
Staff Writer

John Marki, a former Traverse City commissioner received a
thirty day jail sentence in September from local District Court Judge
Mike Haley for attempted third-degree child abuse. According to
local news reports, Marki had an altercation with his daughter
while on a boat earlier this summer, and during the course of the
argument, he slapped her. The prosecution said that he grabbed
her neck and hit her head on a railing.
Many gays and lesbians will remember Mr. Marki from 1987
when he sat on the City Commission meeting in relative
conservative obscurity.
However, during a controversial
commission discussion about whether to allow condom machines
in city restrooms, he declared that gays were the filthiest, most
disgusting people on earth.
Markl's statement was picked up by a reporter and printed
by the local paper. He quickly became known all over the T.C.
area for his bigoted opinions which gained him much popularity
with the anti-gay elements of the area.
Jasper Weese, a
commissioner who represented older, ultra-conservative fringe
elements in the city, gave him his full support.
The City Commission meetings all of a sudden became popular
and were packed with supporters of gays as well as the local
religious extremists. One of these was Matthew Schoech, rumored
to have been the local head of the John Birch Society, and who was
particularly vocal in his support of Marki. He quickly became

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1997

Property of the

LAsTING
IMPRESSIONS
by R. Green
Aside from his appearance, which I will describe as best I
can in full in just a bit, most noticeable was his cadenced
explanation of it all-his life to date and the reason for my being
there. He brought it all forth as if it were the requ,irement of
some sect, and penitence would be due if he didn't just keep
on bringing it forth.
The curious demeanor of "let me tell you 'it'-"the"
story I
have seen before. Homos. If you don't play right and listen
right, you don't get to stay very long. Perhaps the need to tell
comes from some feeling of inadequacy. Like having stolen
your sister's doll clothes with a friend, and having repaired to
the tree fort, only to find that your partner is now somewhat
reluctant to commit to such a girl-thing. You got him that far,
"you must do as I do-hear as I want you to hear." Convince
him, force him, make him stay. What if he got away? What if he
told? Or what if instead of the doll's head smashed into the
floorboards, your own head got shoved against the wall like a
counter-to-the-floor dropped melon? Oh these gays and their
little concerns.
Jerry kept the pace for me.
I don't like AIDS pieces. Enough already. It is on its way
out. More people will die. More people will die by not using seat
belts. But as a society we have had enough.
I write for a medium-sized newspaper in anywhere USA,
(Everett, WA). I am using this job to get to something real
downtown. I left college thinking that I could in fact just walk
into a job with a real paper. I have friends who did that. I didn't
because I am serving penitence, working in an office where the
advertising guy has his desk face-to-face touching mine. No
separate office, no partition, he's right there, making his little
deals with little drugstore advertisers selling little statues on sale
this week. "And do you have art from the manufacturer? Is
Who gives a shit.
there an expiration date on this coupon?"
Right there, every day. And so what if the office is next to a
beauty parlor. Not any kind of in this decade hip hair place. A
beauty parlor with big head cones that get lowered onto Aunt
Bea's brain, cooking the gel for 45 minutes, then
voila-Aunt
Bea emerges, mysteriously identically ridiculous as when she
went in. But I digress and I must keep the pace.

enter

Another AIDS piece, oh Christ. I have done these before.
Not to be featured in my Mayberry Tribune, of course. It, the
AIDS thing, it is, it was the issue, and there is a huge gay
community in town, and so enter me into high exposure. I did
my time roaming Capital Hill where the homos live. I dug up
some talkers I did a warm piece. I touched them. I got close. I
showed them I cared. The pieces, three altogether, weren't bad.
Sort of a normal person's peek at the progression of the disease
in three men's lives. The Times actually got interested. Said they
showed something. All three pieces had intros: "Blah, Blah," "I
am angry," "I am hurt," "I am scared." I think the piece showed
my style, but ultimately The Times didn't buy it.
This thing I'm doing today is from the partner of one of my
featurettes who died. A little creepy: He called and wanted to
share something with me. Please-no sharing. Then he said
KLMO, the big TV guys, had got hold of the piece I submitted
to The Times and they wanted to follow-up, actually make
something of it.
I need to take a break on where this piece you're reading
now is going. Christ, I am writing myself into being the callous
guy, converted to being not callous by some warm-hearted
AIDS story. Not, not, not. I really am shallow. Was then. Am
now. I write about stuff and sometimes it gets printed and I
don't want to be excused. If something happened, anything, I
can tell about it as well as I can hustle down alternative pumpkin
recipes for Aunt Bea. It's all just journalism. And that's ok: it's
how informed America learns. No, it's what they learn.
Jerry, the living partner, left this message on my voice mail:
"I have to share something with you," and he leaves his name
and address and where he lives and what day and time I should
be there as if I will just show up because he's an AIDS victim.
And I did. I think he baited me with the TV thing.
Broad hands, well over six feet, full head of hair, wavy,
brown, with a sheen, no trace of any weird over-the-counter
smell. No smell other than a faint human sweetness, perhaps
some normal person's brand of soap mixed with his own smell.
"Thanks for coming," Jerry said. "KLMO wanted to do a
follow-up. I didn't want to be the merry widow so I turned them
down but their probing around got me thinking, dreaming,
actually. I wouldn't have thought to do this on my own but you
lAsTING IMPRESSIONS
continued

14

HELPLine!
Gay? Lesbian? Bisexual? Transgendered?
Have Questions? Need Help?
Cal I: 616/946-1804
or 800/579-8769

OpenMonday-Saturday6:00pm- Sundayat 2:00pm
Confidentially answered any time day or night

NffWORKING45'NORTH

616.,. 935.,. 1666.,. 520 Franklin .,. Traverse City, MI 49684
Proudly Gay Owned and Operated since 1989
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VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

JL A

I[

IE

JF I[
GROUPS:

(Note: All classified announcements are run without charge. Please
submit them in writing to the Friends North address, or call the
editor at 616-271-3042 and leave the advertisement on the
answering machine along with a contact phone number)

NEWANNOUNCEMENTS:
COMMON VOICES, The Friends North Rap Group, publishes a
monthly newsletter, thanks to Tom Barkley. It will remind people who
choose to be on the mailing list of monthly Common Voices meetings,
dinners and other group activities. Mailing list names, numbers and
addressesare kept in confidence. This information will not be given out
to any inquirers by anyone in Common Voices. (issue 1)

FRIENDS NORTH MEETINGS: The Friends North Board meets on the
first Tuesday of each month (Except August) at 6:30 p.m. at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets, across
from the Old Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 2)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of
men and women who get together monthly for informal discussion,
often on a particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of
every month at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30
pm. For information, call Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at947-4697. (issue 5)
GLSEN,the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Education Network, is meeting monthly
in Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more
information, call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace
Episcopal Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For
more information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Pleasecontact Third Level at 922-4800
or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Pleaseseethe Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSECITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul at 933-0572 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. He will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 5)
WELLNESSNETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday
evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at
341 Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month
the Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans
Drive, Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information,
please call 933-0279. (issue 5)
•
THE PETOSKEYGROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information
please contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 5)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 5)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit
organization that has committed itself to helping and supporti~g the
needs of HIV infected persons. They offer a number of services,
including support groups, education, public awareness, and one-onone friendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena,
Gaylord, and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the
program, please call 616-526-9213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Wednesday at 5:30 pm and Saturday at 11 :00 am at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in TC. For
further info, call John at 922-0746 or Hilda at 938-9294. (issue 2)

ON-GOING
ANNOUNCEMENTS
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-111 O. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue 5)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEYis
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 EastMitchell St. Services are
held on the first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call
347-8916 for details or write POB 873, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0873
(Issue 5)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION.
The group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823.
Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 5)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY
HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, F~EENorplants, DepoProvera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other
methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630.
Services are by appointment only. (issue 1)

HOUSING/RESORTS
ROOM FOR RENT: $275.00/mo. Includes utilities, washer-dryer, and
all house privileges. Call Joe or Corinne at 947-8402 (issue 5)
PAMPERYOURSELF!Spend a romantic or quiet weekend or week in a
beautiful two bedroom home with sauna, fireplace and lake access.Just
3 miles from lnterlochen Center for the Arts. Call 275-5924 for details
and rates. (issue 5)
ROOM FOR RENT: in nice home in East Jordan. Male or Female.
$55.00/wk. plus long distance telephone calls. Nonsmoker. Includes
full house privileges. Tom: 616-536-0308 (issue 5)

PERSONALS:
GAy WHITE MALE, 24, brown hair, blue eyes. I am looking for a friend
to share my thoughts with. I should be home in 1998. I like reading,
music. You can write to me at: Cassidy M. Westeen, #211011, PO Box
5000, Carson City, Ml 48811-5000 (issue 5)
I'm lookingfor a mail friend. Please write to: 10620 E 42, Manton, Ml
49663. Please send pictures. (issue 5)

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VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
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1997

FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for gay,

lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please contact
Brad at 517-354-0841 (Issue2)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting on the last
Monday of each month, 7:30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on South
Airport Rd., T.C. For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Aimee.
(issue 1)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL,WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet thefirst and third
Tuesdayof each month, from 11:30 am until 1:00 at a local, TraverseCity
restaurant.Call Pamelaat 922-0734 or contact FriendsNorth. (issue5)

SUPPORT
SAFESCHOOLS
IN NORTHERN
MICHIGAN
Lesbians, gay men and all sexual minorities (not to mention all
other living creatures!) need civil- rights. Our young people need
to be safe from anti-gay bigotry at school.
The statistics are chilling. 97% of public high school students
report regularly hearing homophobic comments from their peers.
80% of gay and lesbian youth report experiencing severe
isolation. 30% of teen suicides are reported to be committed by
gay and lesbian youth.
Perhaps no influence in the lives of our children is greater than
that of peers and educators. All across the United States and
beyond, communities and school-boards are discussing the issue
of Safe Schools. People, who care, realize that the social
environment within our schools hasa direct impact upon a students
ability to learn; and the integrity and safety of the entire community.
Currently the Michigan House of Representatives is hearing
arguments about HB4674: The Ethnic Intimidation Act (Note: The
LGBT community is NOT protected by The Ethnic Intimidation Act,
as it is currently written). I would like to see our community take
the next step ... a region wide Safe Schools Policy.
To help make schools safe for young gays and lesbians please
support the GLSEN Safe Schools Initiative, including:
antihomophobia programming, youth advocacy, and community
organizations.
For more information, or to volunteer, please write:
GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) - PO Box Nine
- Traverse City Ml 49685 - E-mail: GLSEN TC@aol.com

TOLL FREE NORTHERNMICHIGAN
HELPLINE!
-UPDATEThe Northern Michigan Helpline! (Help and Information Line),
introduced throughout the regional media in February of this year,
is a huge success! Typical calls to the Helpline!
include:
individuals seeking a counselor to discuss coming-out issues, or
NETWORKING
45°NORTH

parents who are attempting to understand what it means for their
child to b~ gay, and also, many professional referrals ... and so
much more.
Helpline! is here to help individuals and families address
concerns about same-gender affectional relationships and
orientation through information, counseling and intervention.
Helpline! staff will respond immediately to help individuals and
families cope with the difficulties they encounter as the result of
bias in our schools, family, church and community, as well as
other emotional concerns.
Please consider making a generous financial contribution to
the Helpline! (whatever you can afford), so that we may continue
to provide this excellent community service. We are a non-profit
community service organization. Your charitable contribution is
fully Tax Deductible within IRSguidelines. Pleasesend your check
or money order today!
Address your check or money order to:
Helpline!
Telecommunications Group - PO Box Nine - Traverse City Ml
49685.
The Helpline! telephone number in Traverse City: 616 / 9461804
If outside Traverse City you may call: 800 / 579-8769

EASTLANSING,
MICHIGAN
MICHIGAN
STATEUNIVERSITY'S
BOARD
OFTRUSTEES
VOTED
...
5 - 3 to extend health benefits and insurance coverage to the
partners of its gay and lesbian faculty and staff, the Detroit Free
Press reports.
The benefits package is strictly for same-sex couples, as
straight couples have the legal option of matrimony, said university
officials.
Michigan State University, the state's largest school, first
debated the domestic partnership proposal last year, but
postponed discussion of the
matter when conservatives in the
state legislature successfully attached punitive measures to an
education appropriations bi II.
Republican Senator Bill Schuette sponsored an amendment last
December for precisely the amount spent on such programs. The
University of Michigan and Wayne State University, both of which
instituted similar programs in 1995, cried foul, prompting
intervention by the state attorney general's office.
Attorney General Frank Kelley ruled last April that the
legislative measure was a violation of university autonomy as
provided in Michigan's constitution, but his decision had its
limitations. Junior colleges, for example, are not protected under
the same statutes as the larger
schools, and can be legally
penalized.
The state legislature also has the right to ask the schools how
much they spend on the gay benefit before making a final decision
on its state appropriation.

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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
S • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

LAsTINGIMPRESSIONS
continuedfrompage 11

kept showing up in my dreams and then I had one with you
and Hughy in it and it was weird enough to make me do this
asking of you to come and get the rest of the story."
Out comes this big photo album.
Oh Christ, I think.
"You recall that Hugh lapsed into a coma for three weeks
and then came out of it."
Photo-hospital
bed shot. Good God what a keepsake I say
to myself and he goes on.
"Your interview was shortly after he came out of the coma.
He didn't know everything when he gave you that interview.
That was my fault. He would have said something different. I
don't know what. He would have told you more. No, he would
not have talked. If you would have come back to do a followup piece, you would have seen him like that."
Photo- My God-why this, why did you do this? What could
possibly make this necessary? Why do you show me? I say inside
myself. (Photo shows eyes, such eyes, coming straight into the
lens from a body with plastic straps holding the arms affixed to
the side of the bed.
"Why is he restrained?"
Before speaking, the man looked softly down sideways to
the floor. All shamed. What is this? I think.
"The boy, Tommy, killed himself."
Photos-I look at them to look away from him. Largest
group of people at a family table I've ever seen-probably
Christmas. Jerry and Hugh at one end with a chunky 1O year
old-the boy sharing a knee for a seat from each of the men.
More-a toy plane and the boy, toothless, smiling. Another
photo-the boy on someone's shoulders-I don't know which
of the two.
"Well, I am sorry that the boy killed himself." I say and I
wonder, why me? Time to go.
"I see you're uncomfortable but you needed to know.
Tommy died because he didn't want Hugh to be afraid to die. I
know this because I knew the boy. He didn't want Hugh to be
afraid alone. I hadn't told Hugh about the suicide before your
interview. Hugh wouldn't have really hurt anyone, maybe
himself: the restraints were the last way I could say, 'you must
just be.' It helped, perhaps, to life some of the pain, of knowing
he had been loved so much, and could do nothing to retrieve
his lost nephew. Maybe it was wrong. I thought it would help.
I thought if he were tied up he wouldn't blame himself for being,
you know, alive."
I nod, quick; polite-like, with a little smile.
I did my follow-up and got out well. Yes, Jerry was most
soon gone. I got back to work and found there just wasn't a
Times or the paper to which I
way to work up a story, for the
was billing my time. I logged the couple hours I spent on it to
"dead-end feature."
And at night I have dreamt of seeing a colored still shot of
that fat smiling kid and the dream goes from a photo to a video
or something because the photo starts talking and smiling. I
can't hear it but, I see it move and it tells me to not be afraid
because I am not alone.

CONGRATULATIONS,
RUDY
Michigan Democratic Gay & Lesbian Caucus Chair Rudy Serra
has been appointed to the Detroit Human Rights Commission by
Mayor Dennis Archer. Serra-the author of an article entitled,
"Sexual Orientation and Michigan Law," published in the
September 1997 edition of the Bar Journal- is already recognized
as an expert in Michigan municipal codes, civil rights and sexual
orientation issues.Because the laws which protect gay and lesbian
victims of violence and discrimination are principally local
measures, Sera's appointment puts him in a position to assure
enforcement of the Detroit Omnibus Human Rights Ordinance
and also to provide expertise based upon his personal knowledge
to other governmental entities in Michigan.
From the Michigan Democratic Party Web Page, 9-14-97

A PLACEFORYou
By Rev. Linda L. Wilson
The last few years of my life have been involved, in part, in
healing from some deep hurts. These years have also been spent
growing and stretching my life in fresh pursuits. I have found new
meaning to my faith, by friendships and to my reason for being
here on planet earth! During the years of marriage and service to
God and my church, there was always the issue of unanswered
questions about my sexual identity. I could not give voice to these
questions because I was in a fundamentalist context where such
questions were not asked. I always enjoyed exploring new
concepts and truths, but in that context, exploration was not an
option either unless all conclusions came out the same as they
always had.
As many gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people
(glbt) in a strict religious setting find out, there is not place for us to
worship, praise God, and rejoice in the way we have been made.
For most Christians in this setting, true love and commitment to
God is antithetical to being a "practicing glbt." You cannot be both
they say. As a result, the glbt people I have talked to have either
rejected the Church as a viable place of worship and spiritual
growth, or they reject the concept of God as God has always been
represented to them, or both. I found that it was essential for my
own sanity, to discover why this was so, since I, myself, am both
a lesbian and a Christian who takes my faith seriously.
One of the "fresh pursuits" for me was to engage in a study
from Scripture and history about gay/lesbian, bisexual,
transgender life. The results were most interesting. I have also
been doing much study on the concept of God and a better
representation than was always taught to me. The results are that
I have committed myself to provide a place where people of any
sexual orientation can come and worship and be accepted for
who they are. As part of this commitment, I was ordained to the

("R. Green" is a writer who lives in Traverse City)

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APLACEFORYoucontinuednext page
VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

A PIACE FORYou continuedfrompreviouspage
ministry on August 16, 1997 by Bethel Christian Ministries, Inc.
from Grand Rapids, and have begun a new church called Journey
in Light Ministries. The purpose of Journey in Light Ministries is to
provide a place for spiritual growth for anyone who wants to
follow Jesus Christ, using various means to come to Truth for her/
his life. It is my hope that if you have not found a place to worship
where you feel accepted or comfortable, you will come and try out
Journey in Light Ministries. I encourage an inquiring mind to
question, search and come to meaningful Truth that satisfies your
spiritual needs. I believe that knowledge and application of truth
will bring about healing and wholeness which will ultimately lead
to living responsibly in freedom for gay/lesbian/bisexual/
transgendered and heterosexual people, all of whom are welcome
to be a part of this ministry.
Pastoral counseling for relationship, spiritual and other needs
is available to all people. It is my hope that this ministry will fill the
spiritual needs of some of my brothers and sisters in the gay and
lesbian community, and the community in general.
We had our first service in the Suttons Bay Library public
meeting room downstairs on October 5, 1997 and it was great!
We will be meeting the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month at the
same location at 10:30 am. The Suttons Bay Library is located at
415 Front Street, in Suttons Bay, Michigan (near the Suttons Bay
Marina). If you would like any further information please call me at
(616) 271-2529.
We welcome you to try our new ministry and find out if it will
meet your needs or resonate with your heart.

REFLECTIONS:
AN OUTSIDER
LOOKS
IN

Alan Williams
A year. My, how time flies.
It's been a year since I packed up some of my things and left my
parents'home in central Illinois, ostensiblyto help my brotherfor a month,
but really in searchof a fresh start.I was 28 yearsold, and despite going
away to college, I had returned home to go to graduate school and later
take a job in the area. I had beenliving on my own for a while, but I knew
that moving to TraverseCity was a far cry from living in an apartmentthat
was lessthan a half-hour's drive away from the house I grew up in. ft
meant leaving behind family, friends, and a life I had built for myself over
the years. For some people, such a move is the stuffof dreams.
Not me.
When I moved here, I had high hopes. I'd heard that TraverseCity
had a strong gay community, with resourcesthat were sadly lacking in
central Illinois. But when I got here, it seemed that TraverseCity was a
miniature Peoria,complete with a gay community that reminded me more
of a special club. And I didn't know the secrethandshake.
I'm glad to say that, in many respects,I was wrong.
It all started by chance, with a walk. I started talking to a fellow
pedestrian who happened to be wearing a shirt that said, in French,
"Nobody knows I'm gay." I must admit, if it hadn't been for the word
"GAY" in big letterson the shirt, I would probably still be walking aimlessly
around, wondering where the gay community is outside of the bars.
(Pleasedon't get me wrong: I think SideT raxx is a greatplace to go to have
fun, but when you're going alone and a bit shy to boot, making friends
can be a difficult proposition.)
My fellow pedestrianon that fatefulday told me where to find the local
newsletter,and gave me information about Common Voices (backthen, it
was still just called the Friends North Rap Group). I attended my first
meeting, and shortly thereafter came the holiday dinner, and my first
Christmasaway from home. Somehow,though, it didn't seemquite asbad
as I thought it would be.
I'm 29 now, and as I sit back and look over this pastyear, I think of
NETWORKING
45° NORTH
all the eventsand groupsthat existherein TraverseCity, and I seea mosaic
of social, supportive, and educational gatheringsthat weren't available to
IS Al.SOAVAILABLE
ATTHESE
SELECT
LOCAL
ESTABLISHMENTS:
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identify-but for the most part, I count myself lucky. In central Illinois, I
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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

PROFILE:
KIRK
MAllow
John Evans
One of the many people who
cooperated in the planning and execution
of the Friends North events this past year
was Kirk Mallow, who was born and
raised right here in River City. (I've not
done any research, but I believe we
transplants far outnumber the locals in
Friends North! Maybe, as we have more
of the young people in the organization
Kirk with a friend
this will change.)
(Why does everyone
choose such serious
One of five siblings three of whom
photos?)
were adopted, Kirk grew up in a big
farmhouse on Barney Road.
11
Not a working farm ... grew up playing in the neighbors barns,
helped them bale hay, take care of livestock, etc. I wouldn't have
traded that childhood for anything. It made me appreciate my family
- one of the single most i~portant things in my life - couldn't have
asked for better parents... very supportive."
This led right into a discussion of coming out. "I was 28 years
old, had just bought the house. I had met someone, and that person
moved in with me ... we started getting pretty serious... my parents
started asking questions... so that relationship was the reason why I
told my parents."
My mother took it quite well. My father didn't talk to me for two
weeks. And that was real difficult because my father and I are very,
very close."
It was right after Thanksgiving that Kirk told his parents. Then, on
December 18, the entire family was gathered before grandmother left
for Florida."
It was the first time the entire family had gotten together since I
came out. It took me two week s - I had told absolutely everybody in
the family ... I wanted them to hear it from me.
Everybody accepted it pretty well. .. the only thing remotely
negative was one uncle who said 'well, he can't be gay because he
cuts wood.' I blew his stereotype out of the water, because I hunt
and I fish ... "
December 18th is a day that I will never forget. This was probably
the most difficult thing that my father had to do. I arrived at the party
late... gave them time to mull over the recent news... we ate dinner,

Char P. Kirchner,

opened gifts and then the conversation kind of lulled and I could tell
that things were getting a little tense for everyone... what do we do ...
this is normally the time when Kirk starts in with his antics... I always
have some kind of story to liven things up. But, I just retired back into
the den, fixed myself a drink and went out onto the deck."
I must have been out there ten minutes by myself... it was snowing,
kind of chilly. My father came out on the deck... This was the first time
that I had even been in the same room with him since I told him that I
was gay. He told me 'Kirk I need to talk with you. I can't take this
anymore. I can't stand the thought of you not coming over and having
coffeewith me in the mornings. I can't standthe thought of you not going
for rides in the woods with me, or not being there at deer camp. I don't
understandthis. It's going to take some time to mull this over and digest
all this. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. Will you
work with me here and teach me what I need to know. "
"We both had a good cry that night. I think now we have a
stronger relationship than we ever had. We're still going out to deer
camp. We're still going up north every spring for steelhead."
I asked what reaction his mother has had over time.
11
My mother took about a year to accept everything. Now she
outs me to just about everybody. She was in the dentist's office a few
months ago. The dentist and the hygienist were talking back and forth
and making some derogatory remarks about gays and lesbians. My
mother took the stick out of her mouth and said 'What would you do
if you had a gay son or daughter?' And neither one of them knew
what to say. She said 'Well, I have a gay son and I'm very proud of
him and I don't appreciate what you're saying and I'm sure that he
wouldn't. And I'm really going to have to think about it if I'm going to
continue to be your patient.' And she hasn't been back."
I'm so proud of her. When she told me, tears welled up in my
eyes. Here's my parents going to bat for me again. They're
wonderful."
Long before he came out, Kirk had a relationship with a classmate.
11
1 had a boyfriend all through high school until fall of our senior year.
Up until that point we had talked of getting out of school and getting an
apartment together and how wonderful it would be. We spent every
Saturdaywith each other either at his house or my house.We were in
a conversation one night and I mentioned being gay. Up to that point
that word had never come out in any conversation we had. He looked
at me very puzzled and said 'Well, I'm not gay.' He came from a
religious background and was deathly afraid his parents would find
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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

KIRKcontinuedfrompreviouspage

out. .. He was catching flak from his parents becausehe hadn't been
dating any girls - he really didn't have any interest in girls. We had
talked about that ... maybe we should hang out with girls because
someone is going to start to talk ... but that night we had a huge
argument and ended up going our separateways."
Two yearslater Kirk stood up with this young man at his wedding.
"When he turned to take the ring he looked me in the eye. That was
probably one of the most difficult thingsthat I've ever had to deal with.
It was a very confusing time of my life. It had not been a one-sided
relationship. If he could get married, maybe I'm not gay either."
During this time Kirk dated girls and finally met one to whom he
became engagedand Iived with for three years. But that fell apart and
Kirk finally decided he was not going to pretend any more.
"Those feelings didn't go away."
Through all of this and in spite of the emotional turmoil, Kirk was
gainfully employed at work he enjoyed. Right out of high school he
went to work for a fire safetycompany as a safetycoordinator. This
job took him all over the statesettingup safetyprogramsin universities,
schools, factories, even the state prison system. Among his
company's clients was TraverseCity Area Public Schools. After six or
so yearsof travelling from shoreto shoreand stateline to stateline, he
naturally turned to a familiar place near home.
"I had done safety work for the school systemso I knew the ins
and outs of the entire layout, and I was looking for a change... They
had some positions open. I applied. They called me and I was hired."
Kirk worked at Bertha Vos Elementaryfor several years before
being transferred in Januaryof this year to Norris ElementarySchool
where he is a custodian.
"I am the youngest in historyto havea lead shift custodial position
in the elementary school. I was thirty when I stepped into that
position."
Kirk thoroughly enjoys his work and the children love him.
"They've gotten me a nameplatefor my door that says'Mr Kirk'.
That's the name they gave me. They seemto know when Mr. Kirk is
having a down day and needsa hug."
Outside of his work and his activitieswith FriendsNorth, Kirk has
always done volunteer work with such organizations as Alzheimer's
Association, the March of Dimes, and volunteer work at school.
"I go to NMC and talk every term to the human sexuality class. I
always get the same comment: Kirk, you don't look gay... I enjoy
breaking stereotypes." Kirk is running for one of the positions open
on the Friends North Board next month.

WORDSANDMUSIC:WHAT'SNEWIN
CD'sANDTAPES
BOOKS,
MAGAZINES,
By Rick Gould
With the holidays upcoming, here are some suggestions from
our local book and music stores:
At The Bookie Joint, Shelley recommends: pride jewelry,
bumper stickers, pride T-shirts, and over 1,500 used books of gay
and lesbian interest. Bring in your books to trade and save
money.
From Borders, Aimee's Fall/Winter book picks:
Michael Nava, a consumate storyteller, try "How Town,"
$4.99 or "The Little Death" at $9.95. His newest work, due out
now is "The Burning Plain" at $20.65.
Mark Richard Zubro, whose mysteries keep you guessing
until the final pages, try "Rust on the Razor" at $10.95, "Another
Dead Teenager" at$ 9.95 or "Echo of Death" for $8.95.
Claire McNab, a great wit and character, stars in "Lessons in
Murder" at $10.95. McNab's newest' "Chain Letter" is due out
this month.
"Rita Will," the new biography by Rita Mae Brown, is $22.55.
P.S.: Good books, good coffee, great people ...sound like a
winning combination? Then you ought to stop by the Lesbian and
Gay Book Club at Borders Books & Music. We sit, talk about
books, share a few laughs, and generally have a great time in a
relaxed atmosphere. In November, we'll be reading "Entries From
a Hot Pink Notebook" by Todd D. Brown, which tells the sweet
and funny story of a 14 year old boy coming out, finding love,
and coping in a homophobic school setting. We average about a
dozen people at each meeting, but new faces keep things fun and
interesting. Even if you haven't read the book for the month,
please come by and join the discussion, and help pick the book
for the next month. The group meets on the last Monday of every
month at Borders' Cafe, Espresso,at 7:30 p.m. All book group
titles are 20% off.
At AB CD's, Norm gave us this list:
Andrea Bocelli's "Romanza." This disc has topped all the
charts in Europe for most of the year 1997. Andrea is a wonderful
Italian vocalist and his current disc has finally made a stateside
WORDS& MUSICcontinuednextpage

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-17-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

WORDS& MUSICcontinuedfrompreviouspage

appearance in September. Sung primarily in Italian the set includes
a wonderful duet with Sarah Brightman (Christine from
Phantom
of the Opera), a #1 hit in Europe, "Time to Say Goodbye."
Sarah Brightman - "Surrender - The Unexpected Songs." The
lastest Brightman effort is an import from Canada and is comprised
completely of Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes. Songs from Aspects
of Love, Song and Dance, Cats, JesusChrist Superstar and Sunset
Blvd,-Brightman
delivers.
Loreena McKennitt - "Book of Secrets." McKennitt's seventh
recording and supposedly her last. There is no new ground
covered with this recording but then again why mess around with
proven material?
McKennitt far and wide surpasses her
contemporaries with little studio production and overdubbing.
This is pure composition and delivery with incredible style.
"The Life" - original Broadway Cast Recording - the material
and subject matter seem slightly odd but the performances are
incredible. The plot revolves around the pimps and hookers of
1970s Time Square. Drama Desk Award Winner and Tony Award
nominations abound frorn this musical. Featured performers
range from Sam Harris (Tony nominee), Chuck Cooper (Tony
Award winner) and Pamela Isaacs. Unfortunately, the hottest
ticket on Broadway will see Sam Harris leave the company but the
performance will live on with the soundtrack recording.
At Horizon, Jennifer gave us these selections:
"Walt Whitman: A Gay Life," by Gary Schmidgall, $32.95.
Drawing from Whitman's poetry, private journals and letters, the
author explores Whitman's life as an artist and man.
"The Girls Next Door," by Lindsey Van Gelder and Pamela
Robin Bandt, $13.00. This is a cross-country trip covering the
United States and filled with short stories on lesbian life from all
the states.
"Tuesdays with Morrie," by Mitch Alborn, $19.95. This is the
true story about life's lessonsgiven to us by an elderly dying man.
Alborn, the Detroit Free Press columnist gives us an intimate
account of his friendship with his former teacher.
"Am I Blue?," by Marion Bauer, $5.95. Original short stories
by a variety of famous authors. The stories honestly portray the
subject of growing up gay or lesbian.
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us the following:
"The Accidental Activist," by Candace Gingrich, $12.00.
Sister of Newt's memoir is now out in paper.
"The Farewell Symphony," by Edmund White, $25.00. The
long-awaited final book of the literary trilogy is complete. This is
the follow-up to "A Boy's Own Story" and "The Beautiful Room
Is Empty."
"The Lavender Screen, Revised and Updated," by Boze
Hadleigh, $19.95. This has more films covered in the update to
this fun and irnforrnative book.
"Marcus Schenkenberg: New Rules," by Marcus S., $27.50.
That European supermodel takes an in-depth look at the hardships
of modelling. Pictures? You bet! Plus, an introduction by Gianni
Versace.
Remember, these stores appreciate your comments and business.
NElWORKING
45°NORTH

LOOKING
OTHERWAYHURTSUsALL
reprinted w/permission of
Loraine Anderson, Regional Editor, Traverse City Record-Eagle

I saw my first Queer Reserve Note-a $3 bill with President
Clinton in the oval-at a local gun and key shop about four years ago
during the height of the gay military ban debate.
I said nothing, but I did write a short story. In the story, a lesbian
went to the shop to have a key made and saw the $3 bill. She felt
exhausted. This was what she hated about being out. It was never
over.
Right thought, right action, shetold herselfbefore telling the shop
owner how the $3 bill affected her. Shedidn't usethe word offensive.
It went deeper than that. The $3 bill was hurtful, shesaid. It hurt them
both, but mostly him becauseof his intention. He scoffed.
I saw my second $3 bill last winter at a downtown restaurant.It
was taped to the cash register.I askedthe owner if I could have a word
with him.
"You're what?" he asked when I told him I was a lesbian and that
I found his $3 bill hurtful. He told me I was too sensitive.Neither of us
were angry, nor were we comfortable I left, shaking from fear I'd been
holding off. It had taken me all of my adult life and a short story to get
to that conversation.
I saw my third $3 bill just last month at an area shoe shop. I felt
exhausted.I knew this would mean another round of anguishand soul
searching.
Say something. It's the right thing to do.

Don't say anything. It won't change anything.
Probably not, but you' re not trying to change anyone. You' re just
not letting things like this change you.
Peace, harmony, right thought, right action.

As I drove back to work from the shoe shop, I thought about the
$ 3 bills and the freedom people have to putthem on their wall. I thought
about my freedom to say something about them. I thought about
Disney and the courage it shows by including sexual orientation in its
non-discrimination policies and by giving benefitsto partnersof its gay
and lesbian employees. I thought about the importance of the Ellen
coming-out episode and gay pride events.
I have often likened growing up in a homophobic culture to
growing up in an abusive home where you are battered daily
psychologically and mentally to the point that you don't recognize the
abuse. It keepsyou quiet and isolatedfrom other people like yourself.
Becauseof your isolation, you start believing the hateful things people
say. You are filled with self-loathing.
And you never speak up and neither does anyone else. In the
end, maybe you don't even see it.
This is how oppression blinds and silences.It is in this fearful quiet
that prejudice and stereotypesfesterunchecked, settinga societal tone
that makes people think they can hit "a nigger," and a "faggot'' and get
away with it.
The only antidote is seeing and naming it.
That's why I have to say something about the $3 bills.
They hurt their targets, the people who put them up and our
community. And they won't come down until a lot of straight people
say something.
And I have to wonder if anyone did. Or do we quietly accept $3
bills hanging on walls and cash registersin TraverseCity?
-18-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

NIH STUDYSEEKS
GENETIC
CLUES
TOA
COMPLEX
HUMANBEHAVIOR;
GAY
BROTHER
PAIRSSTILLNEEDED
To talk about "THE gay gene" is misleading, say Dr. Elliot S.
Gershon and his colleagues, researchers at the National Institutes
of Health who are conducting a new genetic study. Unlike a few
diseases for which a single-gene cause has been found, normal
human diversity can't be explained so easily. Instead, Dr. Gershon
says, "like many other complex human behaviors, we expect
multiple genes to be involved in sexual orientation ... a single gene in
a complex trait changes the probability of showing the trait by only
a small amount," interacting in still-unknown ways with other genes
and environmental factors.
Because of this complexity, Dr. Gershon and his group do not
expect their work to have adverse consequences for gay people.
The genes involved may have other effects as well, and attempts to
change or select for one would have little meaning. The group
believes their study "will have a net positive effect, giving us a better
understanding of sexuality and increased acceptance of its
variations.
Designed to locate more than one gene if possible, the NIH
study brings the group's working assumption into the lab. Because
no one knows yet exactly what function each gene in the mix may
have, researchersfirst look for genetic "markers"-tiny sections of
DNA that act as signposts at known locations among the
chromosomes-that appear consistently in a family together with
the trait being studied. When one is found, it indicates a "linkage,"
pointing to a small region of DNA on one of the 23 pairs of
chromosomes a person carries. Further work in that region may
uncover one or more genes actually affecting the trait of interest,
but it's a laborious process that may take years.
The first report of a linkage, like the one found by Dr. Dean
Hamer and colleagues at NIH, can be big news, leading people to
believe that "the gene has been discovered." For scientists it's big
news for a different reason: "Now, maybe we know one good place
to look." Good scientific practice is to verify the linkage finding
before committing precious lab resources to the follow-up work.
The first goal of the new NIH study is to attempt that verification
for the Hamer finding, by doing an independent test of replication.
Preliminary analysis has begun, using DNA from the first 50
participating families.
For the goal of finding additional linkages, at least 50 more
families are still needed to complete the study. Eligible families will
have at least two gay brothers or non-identical gay male twins
participating, plus their parents if available. Participants, who can be
located anywhere in the U.S., will answer a short confidential mailin questionnaire and give a blood sample locally at no cost to them,
for prepaid shipping to NIH. Interested persons are invited to
contact Dr. Gershon's group for more information, by phone at
301-496-8977 (collect calls accepted) or e-mail at gaz@cu.nih.gov
Information on the Web: http://world.std.com/~neurogen/
gstudy.html

GENERATION
GAP
Japiya Burns

There seemsto be a large generation gap between younger gays
ad lesbians and older gays and lesbians. And while this same
generation gap may occur in "straight" society, I believe it can be
particularly harmful within our community. Though I am looking at
the gay community through young, possibly naive eyes I feel as
though this is something that should be changed.
It is widely recognized that adolescence is a difficult time in
people's lives, particularly so for gays and lesbians. While straight
people often have people to turn to, such asfriends, gay youth often
find themselves isolated and lonely, leading to depression, and even
suicide. Straight people benefit from a society which endorses their
sexuality, instead of punishing them for it. They are also socialized
by friends, family, and a society which generally makes them feel
belonged, something gay youth is often denied.
The structure of our community seemsto prohibit the interaction
between older gays and younger gays, which could prove to be
harmful. Gay bars and other social institutions often prohibit people
under 21 from entering. This createsa great divide, and denies young
gays an opportunity to socialize, and be socialized into the gay
community. Gay youth groups, though very positive, often have the
same flaws. They often create a safe haven, at the cost of shutting
out the knowledge and wisdom an older generation has to offer.
By ghettoizing gay youth from the restof the community, they are
missing out on these valuable resources.Positive interaction between
gay kids and older gay men and lesbianscan provide an exchange of
knowledge not provided by a heterosexistworld. Most parentsdon't
teach their children about the ways of the "gay'' world, about dating,
sex, dealing with prejudice, or coming out. Who better to learn from
than those who have already gone through it? Why waste this body
of knowledge and experience?During a very trying period in their lives,
gay children need role models now more than ever.
While suggesting that gay men and lesbians become more
involved with gay youth, Im not advocating pedophilia. In fact, I am
suggesting just the opposite: that gay men and lesbians behave
responsibly. Many of us have experienced difficult times growing up
because of our sexuality, though it seems as if the gay community
has undergone "mass amnesia" and has somewhat abandoned the
gay youth of today. While some efforts are being made, I feel as
though a more hands-on approach would be beneficial. Gay youth
needs to see gay adults as positive members of the community,
people with facesand personalities and lives, not as sexual predators
or as the social deviants society paints us as.
unwound
by Japiya Burns

their bodies are not tightly intertwined now
they're unwound like worn-out tops
spun a lot like laughing bottles
shyly kissing in the end
Uapiya is a college student and lives in Traverse City)

NfIWORKING4S'NORTH

-19-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

PORTUGAL
UPDATE
1997 will go down in Portuguese history as
the year of the gay and lesbian awakening. During
the current year, several major events have
irreversibly changed the Portuguese lesbian and
gay community and given it the largest visibility
ever. During 1996 the first gay and lesbian
organization
became official,
and started
immediately working with the community.
In mid 1996 our organization started political
lobbying in order to equalize the age of consent
between homosexual and heterosexual sex and
to push for a partnership law that would recognize
the rights of homosexual couples.
In January 1997, while the country's first
(national) gay and lesbian newspaper celebrated
it's first birthday, the government approved the
new penal code contemplating the same age of
consent between homo- and heterosexual sex (16
y.o.). On May 4th 1997, roughly 400 people
marched
down
Lisbon's
Liberty
Avenue
remembering those lost to AIDS in the "First AIDS
Candlelight Memorial and March". In early June,
after more than a year of lobbying and a national
campaign directed at the Prime-Minister, the
government party announces a domestic
partnership bill to recognizes the rights of
homosexual
couples
(excluding
adoption),
sparking a national debate over the issue. The
voting on the bill, for political reasons, was
postponed till January 1998. Later, on June the
28th, in Lisbon again, Portugal's first Pride Festival
was held successfully attracting an attendance of
close to 3000 people. In August, the first AIDS
awareness and prevention leaflets targeting the
gay and lesbian community in Portugal, were
published by our organization with the financial
aid of the Health Ministry.
Currently,
from
September
13th
to
September 28th, Europe's largest Gay and Lesbian
Film Festival (in terms of the number of films
shown - 66 different films), the "Lisbon's First Gay

FRIENDS

NORTH,

INC.,

and Lesbian Film Festival", is attracting large
crowds to theaters, selling-out almost all the
screenings in this 15-day festival. The festival is
being staged in three different theaters across
the city and has the patronage of the Lisbon
Mayor. By the end of the film fest, we predict
that approximately 5000 people will have
attended the event.
Later this year, on October the 20th,
Portugal's first Gay and Lesbian Community
Center will open to the public in Lisbon's city
center. The community center will have oneon-one (as well as telephone) legal, medical and
psychological support and counselling; it will be
equipped with a coffee-shop, a documentation
center, a library, an internet access point and a
small bookstore. The large space where the
community center will be functioning was given
to our organization by the City Council and a
grand opening with the Mayor's presence is
already confirmed.
These happenings were unthinkable in
Portugal in 1995, when the gay and lesbian
community were at a total void. Just two years
ago there were no gay and/or lesbi,an
organizations and the concept of community
was something we were used to witnessing in
other developed countries. The radical and
shear speed with which the homosexual
movement has developed over the past 24
months even manages to surprise us. Gay
owned and gay-friendly businesses are starting
to pop up at a steady rate, increasing the overall
quality of life of the community. The Portuguese
miracle seems to be well on its way ... - - If you
have any questions, please don't hesitate to
send us an e-mail.
Gofialo Dumas Diniz
Chairmain of" Association ILGA-Portugal"
Ap. 21281-1131 Lisboa Codex - Portugal
www. i lga-portugal .org
i lga-portugal@ilga.org

BOOK
Margaret Dodd 1997-2001
Traverse City Commission

MARK
her on your ballot
November 4th

:\,I.-\It<;.-\RET

DODD

CITYCOMMISSIONER

''The VOICE for Chonge''
* Informed

* Experienced
* Independent
*

Intelligent

* Straightforward

Facing the issues of:
*

Human Rights

* Growth and Traffic

Equitable Taxation
Neighborhoods
* The Environment
*
*

"I will work to keep our
small town atmosphere while
moving ahead into the next
century."
Please phone me:

947-6913
Paid for by the Committee to Elect Margaret Dodd

P.O. Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49685-0562

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am unable to contribute.

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The F/N mailing list is confidential and our mailings come in an unmarked envelope.
NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-20-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

SAME-SEX
UNIONCOMING
Deb Price

From its perch atop Hawaii's judicial branch, the state's
farsighted Supreme Court can, no doubt, see just how close
same-sex marriage is to becoming a reality.
That legal miracle is probably only months away. It's
absolutely critical that it occur before November 1998, when
Hawaii's voters will be asked whether to amend their
constitution to let lawmakers block same-sex marriage.
Dan Foley, attorney for the three same-sex couples suing
for marriage licenses, expects the Hawaii Supreme Court to
announce soon whether it will hold oral arguments. "Once we
get (a court) order, we can expect a (final) decision within a
number of months," Foley predicts. "We're just
waiting.
"I don't think there's any question - when the decision
comes down what it will be," Foley adds with well-placed
confidence. "Everybody
knows there's really nothing to
decide because the state abysmally failed to meet its burden."
In a preliminary ruling, the Hawaii Supreme Court declared
in 1993 that refusing to grant marriage licenses to same-sex
couples is sex discrimination, which Hawaii's constitution
prohibits. The court's conclusion rested on a simple fact. No
one, regardless of sexual orientation, is allowed to marry
someone of the same sex.
A three-member majority of Hawaii's top court sent the
case back to a lower court, demanding the state prove a
"compelling" reason for the discrimination.
The state's
attempts have failed miserably. As a result, Judge Kevin Chang
ruled in favor of same-sex marriage last December, and
the
case is now back before the Hawaii Supreme Court.
After flailing about trying to concoct a believable
"compelling" reason, the state has switched its chief argument.
Gone almost entirely is the "children would suffer" claim,
which the state's own witnesses demolished
during an
embarrassing two-week trial a year ago. The state has turned
to mainland hired guns for legal help. But, having already had
all its arguments shot down, the state has been reduced to
begging the Hawaii Supreme Court to say its ruling of "sex
discrimination" was wrong in the first place.

That's a sign of total desperation because all three justices
who gave us that decision are still on the court.' And three
votes are all we need on the five-member court to legalize samesex marriage.
The historic 1993 decision was written by Justice Steven
Levinson. It was supported by Ronald Moon, now chief
justice, and Paula Nakayama. A more recent appointee, Justice
Mario Ramil, is an unknown on gay issues but is considered a
pro-consumer, pro-worker, progressive Democrat. Chief
Justice Moon will appoint someone to cast the fifth vote.
(Justice Robert Klein won't participate because he heard the
case as a lower court judge.)
If the court doesn't rule soon, the November 1998 vote
on amending the constitution could be devastating.
Polls show most Hawaii voters oppose same-sex marriage
but are evenly split over amending the constitution. But if gay
couples start legally marrying before the election, voters will
actually face a very different issue: Should citizens lose rights
they already have? That would make it much more likely that
same-sex marriage would win not only in the courts but also at
the ballot box.
In July, the Hawaii Supreme Court rejected the state's plea
for it to intentionally delay its ruling until after the November
1998 vote. It's a positive sign that the court rebuffed the
state's insulting suggestion that, instead of protecting rights, it
should wait to see if those rights are amended out of existence.
Meanwhile, two Hawaii federal cases bear watching. The
first questions
whether the state's new "reciprocal
beneficiaries" law - giving many marriage-like benefits to
partners who can't legally marry- covers private employers'
health plans. The other will decide whether Hawaii must vote
again on whether to hold a constitutional convention, a
potential nightmare.
Marriage can be the union of a man and woman, a man and
man or a woman and woman. That's already the emotional
reality. Count on the Hawaii Supreme Court to make it a legal
reality as well.
( reprinted w/permission of the DETROIT NEWS
September B, 7997, and Deb Price)

AL. Mitchell & Associates
MEMBERS OF BAY BUSINESS RESOURCE GROUP

ANDREW L. MITCHELL
Accredited Business Accountant
Your Home

803-B South Garfield Ave.
Traverse City, Ml 49686
NfIWORKING
45'NORTH

Phone (616) 947-1492
Fax (616) 941-9088

JACQUIE

Food

Spirits

Parties

CATERS!

834 Indian Trail TraverseCity. Ml 40686 phone616,941,8558 fax 616,947,1187

-21-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

BEARS

MOREON CHRYSLER
Hello,
Today (mid August, 1997) I was confronted with more blatant
lies from Chrysler management. After anti-gay harassment/
discrimination I have been suffering climaxed on May 7, 1997; I
have been on a medical from May 8 to last Friday. Today was my
first day back to work. For months (since February) Chrysler has
been touting to the press that they added the words "sexual
orientation" to the "Standards of Conduct" posted in every
facility. The standards were supposedly revised January 2, 1997.
However, today once again I looked at the standards posted in
my work place and only the old copy can be found. The
standards are kept in a locked glass enclosure so they cannot
claim that they were removed.
Every person I have ever spoken with at Chrysler has stated
that not one "new" standard has been posted or can be found on
the factory floor as they should be. When today I asked Diversity
Director Monica Emerson why they have not been posted after
OVER SEVEN MONTHS, she stated that the "appropriate"
persons had been notified to post the standards and she assured
me that the new standards were posted everywhere that they
should be. For Chrysler to tell "In The Life" national TV program,
"The New Yorker" and other media that they have a "new"
"Standards of Conduct" posted when it is not true is completely
inexcusable.
No wonder Chrysler is being sued by the National
Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) and
also the State of California for deception.
In addition, two certified letters I sent to Monica Emerson
and also my immediate supervisor via certified mail on May 22,
1997 have never been answered in any way. The letters
detailed how I was being treated in the weeks before my
medical. The treatment including being yelled/swore at by coworkers for NOT doing a job in an unsafe manner, confronted
in a threatening manner by a co-worker hovering (standing)
over me as I was on my hands and knees trying to do a job and
also having a work partner refusing to help as I tried to plan the
best way to accomplish a task we were given.
If there are any other Chrysler employees who have not
been able to find the new standards posted anywhere (just as
the rest of us), please let Monica Emerson know at: 248-5122160 or by fax at: 248-512-2151. Also anyone can call this
number to inquire as to why they tout the new standards to
the media when the issue of discrimination arises but they
refuse to post them on the factory floor.
To put it bluntly, nothing has changed at Chrysler
Corporation. The crumbs they have tried to show as positive
steps have all been shrouded in lies and deception. I felt that
our community has a right to be aware of this.
Thank you for your time and consideration.

Gerald Nye, Secretary
North West Michigan Bears

The Wellness Network-Grand
Traverse is this years
receipient of funds raised at North West Michigan Bears first
annual "Bears in the Dunes" charity run. The event was held
September 12th-14th at the Douglas Dunes Resort in Douglas,
Michigan.
Richard Barr was the winner of the 50/50 drawing and
donated his winnings to the Wellness Network.
Tony Ramirez was chosen as "Mr. North West Michigan
Bear" by an independent panel of judges and will represent our
organizatino for the next year.
North West Michigan Bears is a gay mens charitible/social
group which meets at least once a month in the Traverse City/
Cadillac/Petoskey area. For more information about North
West Michigan Bears or "Bears in the Dunes-2" write us at
P.O. Box 283 Northport, Ml 49670 or call 616-386-5203
evenings.

Sincerely,
Ron G. Woods 810-545-7699
MichRook@aol .com
NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-22-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
S • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Prop<crty of the Center

Univili1[111111
J1]/jj~)
1!i'~l~[1i11llr~~~lif
1~J
,r·OK
M 001 111 476
She's not the only one I heard from with a similar reaction to
Gay Day at Disney World.
An o·ld college friend sent an e-mail confessing that her
liberalism was tested when she found herself trying to explain to
her 4-year-old son why the two men in front of them in line for a
Dumbo ride were kissing.
"Well, um, you see, um ... Uhhh ... "
Maybe the best answer would be simply to tell the truth"They love each other" -and leave it at that.
I'm with Mason and my old college friend on this: A children's
park is not the place to be advertising your sexuality, gay, straight
or anything in between.
The flap over Disney Gay Day is about something a lot more
basic than homosexual rights or those much-trumpeted family
values.
It's about appropriate behavior in a public place.
It's about common courtesy.
As Mason asked: "Whatever happened to manners?"

COURTESY
IS REALISSUEATDISNEY'S
GAYDAY
John Grogan
Reprinted w/permission from the author
and Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel 8/31/97

Donielle Mason does not consider herself particularly
prudish. And, while she agrees with the Bible on homosexuality,
she has always taken a "live and let live" attitude.
So why has the 22-year-old law student from Fort Lauderdale
joined the Southern Baptists' boycott of Walt Disney?
It has something to do with the man on the leash.
Mason went to Disney World with a group of friends on the
first weekend of June 1996. What she did not know was that her
trip fell on the same day that thousands of homosexuals were
arriving at Disney World for so-called "Gay Day."
Her first hint came on the shuttle bus to the Magic Kingdom
when she noticed men sitting on each others laps and holding
hands. No big deal.
Once inside the gates, however, the displays became more
brazen, she said.
"They had their hands all over each other. Touching, really
touching, in front of children. They were goosing each other and
French kissing. And just saying things to each other within
everyone's earshot that were just gross."
Then she saw one man leading another man, slave style, by a
leash.
That was when Mason's mild discomfort turned to anger.
"I have homosexual friends," she said. "It's not like the
homosexuality itself was shocking to me. It's how crude they were
being. And just so bold.
"It would have been equally disgusting to me if it was a man
and a woman doing the same thing."
Deception by Disney?

Not everyone was acting out. "It was about half and half." she
said.
"There were a lot of people who were just there to have fun,
but there was an overwhelming number displaying their
homosexuality in every way they could."
As a college undergraduate, Mason was a music major and
theater minor and knew many openly gay people.
"But this Disney experience was different," she said. "These
were fanatical gays with an agenda. These were not 'live and let
live' people.
Disney insists it does not organize or promote Gay Day. But
Mason thinks the company is being disingenuous.
"When a corporation says, 'We are for children,' and caters
to children, and then seems to have these secret agendas, that's
deceptive in my opinion."
So Mason, a practicing Christian (but not a Southern Baptist)
who was home-schooled as a child, decided to join the boycott.
"They [Disney) are making a statement to me, and I want to
make my statement, as small as it may be, right back to them," she
said.
NE1WORKING
4S°NORTH

Always looking for comments from our readers - Do
you find this article homophobic?
- Is this view point
valid? - Should space be reserved for "opposing views"
of the gay community in the pages of this newsletter? What's your opinion. Let us know.

FriendsNorth,Inc.,
P.O.Box562
TraverseCity,MI49685-0562
WORLDAIDSDAY continuedfrom page 1

of our solidarity, hope for the future, memory of the past, and
to inspire increased awareness of the prevention of HIV/AIDS.
This year we walk for all those children locally and
internationally - who have become infected with AIDS, and
for those who, through better education, and public
awareness, can be prevented from being infected.
Around the world, we commit ourselves to a better
understanding of the magnitude and diversity of the impact of
HIV/AIDS on children, their families and their communities. The
world community must work for a stronger commitment,
improved policies and increased action for preventing infection
and minimizing the epidemic's impact on children, their families
and their communities, and we seek increased and improved
access to quality education and information on the prevention
and care of children with HIV/AIDS. We also seek greater
understanding of children's rights, human rights and HIV/AIDS.
Please come to this important celebration - for yourself,
for the children, for the future. Your presence illustrates a
commitment to our community, and especially to our children.
Standing together, joined with communities around the world,
we can give hope to children in a world with AIDS.
(Stacie Fine is the Rabbi of Congregation
Ahavat Shalom of Traverse City.)

-23-

VOLUME
11 •ISSUES• NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

IE

0

u

JR

cc

JE

LOCALSPIRITUAL:

STATEANDNATIONAL
HOTLINES

Rev.GeraldineColvin& Rev.DavidFlorence
616-932-9587
800-347-HATE UnityChurch,3600FiveMile,TraverseCity ...........
800-872-AIDS Rev.EmmyLouBelcher
Fellowship
of GrandTraverse
800-347-TEEN UnitarianUniversalist
6726CenterRd.,TraverseCity-Home:938-9078... Office:947-3117
Rev.NancyHayward,
Circleof theSacredEarth.........
616-223-7999
STATEWIDE
SERVICES
Rev.
Linda
L.
Wilson,
Journey
In
Light
Ministries
.........
616-271-2529
SOCIALI POLITICAL
I MEDIA
TheNetwork:LesbianandGayCommunity
Networkof W. Michigan
LOCALCOUNSELING:
909CherrySt.S.E.,GrandRapids,Ml 49506 .........
616-458-3511 ThirdLevelCrisisIntervention,
.......................
616-922-4800
LavenderMorning
1022E. FrontSt.,TC,Ml 49686................
and800-442-7315
P.O.Box50729,Kalamazoo,
Ml 49005 ..............
616-685-6061 Women'sResource
Center..........................
616-941-1210
Kalamazoo
Resource
Center
RodgerLandvoy,PHD .............................
616-929-1711
P.O.Box1532,Kalamazoo,
Ml 49005 ...............
616-345-7878 SusanBreuerPHO(Frankfort/TraverseCity) ...........
616-352-4261
MargoMillion,ACSW ..............................
616-947-0511
Affirmations
Lesbian/Gay
Community
Center
DavidBlisk(MapleCity) ............................
616-228-5105
Suite110,195W. NineMileRd.
616-947-8842
Ferndale,Ml 48220..............................
810-398-7105 JoannaT. Lauber,MA,OTR,CHt .....................
Barbara
Jones
Smith,
PHO
..........................
616-947-1444
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations{lndex.htme
ElizabethMost,MSW,ACSW(Petoskey)...............
616-439-0656
LansingAssociation
of HumanRights
WilliamD. Gould,MA(Gladwin)......................
517-426-2351
P.O.Box18062,Lansing,Ml 48826.................
517-332-3200 DavidRushlow,
ACSW,MunsonMedicalCenter.........
616-935-6385
e-mail ...................................
lahr@macatawa.org BayAreaCounseling
(Petoskey/Harbor
Springs)
LesbianConnection
MargaloBley,MSW,ACSW .......................
616-348-3616
P.O.Box811,EastLansing,Ml 48826...............
517-371-5257 DanielC. Doran,PHO,CSW ........................
906-635-9263
TriangleFoundation
(Lesbian/Gay
Foundation
of Michigan)
LoisMartindale,
Ph.D.,Benzonia.....................
616-882-5888
abusereferralagency)
19641W.SevenMileRd.,Detroit48219 .............
313-537-3323 CDRS(afreesubstance
929-1315
or 800-686-0749
.........................................
Fax:313-537-3379 808-AS. Garfield,TraverseCity ..........
email .......................................
trijeffm@aol.com
LOCALSERVICE/SOCIAL/POLITICAL
BetweenTheLines(newspaper/monthly}
...............
810-615-7003 FriendsNorth(information
line) ......................
616-946-1804
33528EightMile,Ste.185A3,Livonia,Ml 48152 ... FAX810-615-7018 Common
Voices- F/NRapGroup ....................
Ed- 947-4697
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
...........................................
Tom- 275-6127
TheThirdCoast(magazine/monthly)
..................
616-451-4903 WindfireGay& LesbianYouthSupportGroup-1322Hurd,SE,GrandRapids49506 ............
FAX616-451-0915 CallThirdLevelfor location& time .... 616-922-4800
or 800-442-7315
e-mail ...................................
lllrdCoast@aol.com SideTraxxNiteClub,520FranklinSt.offof 8thSt. ....... 616-935-1666
TraverseCityHumanRightsCommission,
400Boardman. 616-922-4700
MichiganPride,Inc.(Statewide
PrideMarchorganization)
Gay
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
P.O.Box16191,Lansing,Ml 48901.................
517-371-8466
at Boardman,
TC .... John616-922-0746
e-mail .......................
MiciganPridelnc@unforgetable.comGraceChurch,Washington
..........................................
jdevans@gtii.com
........................................
Hilda616-938-1294
NATIONAL
SERVICE
I SOCIALI POLITICAL P-FLAG,TraverseCity,POB1705,Acme,Ml 49610. Cindy616-271-5045
P-FLAG:ParentsandFriendsof Lesbians
andGays
GLSEN(Gay/Lesbian/Straight
Education
Network)
101214thSt. NW,Ste.700,Washington,
DC20005.... 202-638-4200
POBox9, Traverse,Ml 49685 .....................
616-943-5050
GLAAD:Gay/Lesbian
AllianceAgainstDefamation
NOW(NationalOrganization
forWomen)GailTrill ....... 616-938-1333
80VarickSt.,#3E,NewYork,NY10013 .............
212-807-1700
LOCALHIV/AIDSHEALTH
COUNSELING:
.........................................
Fax:212-807-1806
WellnessNetworks,
GTA,Inc., ...............
616-947-1110
email .....................................
glaadnatl@aol.com HIV/AIDS
P.0. Box1632,TraverseCity,MI49685 . . . . . . . . . . . 1-800-494-1160
NationalGayandLesbianTaskForce .................
202-332-6483
BusinessOffice .................................
616-933-0279
232017thSt.,NW,Washington,
DC20009 ....... Fax:202-332-0207 HIV/AIDS
WellnessNetworks- HIVSupportGroupand
LambdaLegalDefenseandEducation
Fund ....... 212-809-8585
x 205
FamilyandSignificant
OtherSupportGroup ..........
616-947-111
O
120WallSt.,NY,NY10005 ...................
Fax:212-890-0055 ThomasJuddCareCenter,1211W FrontSt.,TraverseCity,
ACLULesbian/Gay
RightsProject
MaryDillinger,RN,ClinicalNurseSpecialist..........
616-935-8140
1370MissionSt.,SanFrancisco,
CA94130...........
415-621-0674 DavidRushlow,
ACSWSocialWorker ...............
616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S.
(HIV/AIDS
Support:Petoskey)............
1-800-248-6777
HRC:HumanRightsCampaign
(NationalComingOutDay)
HealthClinic............................
616-929-4448
101214thSt. NS#607,Washington,
DC20005 ....... 202-628-4160 Community
(anonymous
counseling/testing;
same-day
resultsnofee)
.........................................
Fax:202-347-5323
616-929-1844
e-mail .....................................
www@hrcusa.org NorthernMichiganPlannedParenthood................
(anonymous
counseling
&
testing)
GayandLesbianVictoryFund,PoliticalActionCommittee
GrandTraverseCountyHealthDepartment.............
616-922-4831
101214thSt.NW#707,Washington,
DC20005 ....... 202-842-7679
(anonymous
HIVTestingCenter)
GLSEN,GayLesbianStraightEducation
Network........ 212-727-0135 EmmetCountyHealthDepartment
(Petoskey)...........
616-347-6014
121West27 StreetSuite804,NY,NY10001 .... Fax:212-727-0-254 AlsocalltheDistrictHealthDepartment
in yourarea
Department
of JusticeHotline(forreporting
HateCrimesagainstgaysandlesbians).............
Michigan
WellnessNetworks........................
Gay/Lesbian
NationalYouthHotline..................

-24-



r.-operty of the Ce:.• l':'.r
THE NEWSLETTER
OF FRIENDSNORTH,
INC.,

N

an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgendered

w

E

K

VOLUME

WorldAIDSDay
Rabbi Stacie Fine

On December 1, communItIes around the world will
commemorate the tenth annual World AIDS Day. This year's
theme is "Give Children Hope in a World with AIDS" and
draws attention to the fact that almost half a million children
under the age of 15 become infected with HIV annually world
wide. It is a commemoration that calls on us to remember those
who have died, to recognize the needs of those infected, to
honor those who have dedicated their lives to education
prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS, and to, as activist
Mother Jones says, "fight like hell for the living".
Here in Northern Michigan we will gather at Central United
Methodist Church at 7:00 PM for a memorial and
commemoration marked with music, meditation and inspiration.
Importantly, our local celebration aims to include not only the
multi-faith religious community; our aim is to create a
celebration truly inclusive of everyone one the community.
Through this we affirm that HIV/AIDS affects everyone in our
community - directly or indirectly, all our lives have all been
touched by this disease.
Following the ceremony, we will walk in a candlelight vigil
from Central United Methodist to the Opera House, as a mark
WORLDAIDSDAY

continuedpage 23

THEEMPLOYMENT
NONDISCRIMINATION
ACT,(ENDA)
... is in committee now. It will probably soon go to the full
Senate for a vote. Last year it missed passageby one vote.
Senator Levin is a co-sponsor, so he should be thanked
for doing so. SenatorAbraham has taken no position, so far as
is known. He needs to be contacted to urge him to support
ENDA.
SEN.CARL LEVIN: 202-224-6221 ( senator@levin.senate.gov)
SEN. SPENCERABRAHAM : 202-224-4822
(michigan@abraham.senate.gov)==

11

•

ISSUE 5

•

and their friends.

N

NOVEMBER •

DECEMBER •

G

1~

BOARD
POSITIONS
OPEN
IT'SNOTTOOLATE!!
There is still time to become
a candidate for election to the
Friends North Board of Directors.
Put your ideas to work !
Satisfy your need to get more involved !!
Please contact Brenda Bartz at 946-2708
or Sue Schwartz at 946-3032
prior to November 30, 1997
New Board Members
will be Elected at the
Annual Membership Meeting
December 2, 1997
Unitarian Universalist Church
6726 Center Road, TC

"THE
EARLY
WORM
CATCHES
THE
BIRD"
...
So call now and reserveyour "bird" (or portion thereof), i.e.,
don't miss the:

"Friends North Thanksgiving Potluck"
Sunday November 23, 1997
4 p.m. to???
Grace Episcopal Church
"Real" turkey and soft drinks will be provided. P lease bring a
dish to pass. Those who R.S.V.P. by calling Matt or Vic on 616
223-7977 will not have to do dishes!!!

Michigan'sEthnicIntimidationAct.
Representative
McManustestifies
againstgaysand lesbians.
SeePage7

Richard Tuxbury

FriendsNorth,Inc.,P.O.Box562,TraverseCity,MI49685-0562(616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive FIN
information.)
FRIENDS
NORTH
is an organizationof lesbians,gaymen,bi-sexualsand
their friendsfrom northwesternlowerMichigan.Locatedin Traverse
City,weprovidesocialactivities,a newsletter,phoneline,workshops,
and a scholarshipfund for financialassistance.
THEBOARD
OFDIRECTORS
of FRIENDS
NORTH
is composedof nine
womenand men electedeach December.Regularboard meetingsare
held at Grace EpiscopalChurch at the Corner of Washington&
Boardmanthe first Tuesdayof every month (exceptAugust)at 6:30
p.m.Everyoneis welcometo attend.
BrendaBartz- 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aol.com
VictorDinsmore,Secretary- 616-459-5759/itsyrigloo@aol.com
Jim Groya- 616-946-7313
M'LynnHartwell-VP
- 616-943-5050/lesn more@aol.com
Jim Ingleson- 616-922-0925
CarolLambertson,Pres.- 616-275-7102
BenMaddy-616-271-3926/coolj707@aol.com
Julie Parker - 616-276-9330
SueSchwartz,Treas.- 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aol.com
NEWSLETTER
COMMITTEE:
Publicationof Networking
45° North.
Editor: RichardTuxbury:616-271-3042
or e-mail:tux00 1@aol.com
Publishing& Layout: RichardCurtis:616-929-9605
or e-mail:rlc@traverse.com
Advertising: Jim Ingleson616-922-0925
MailingList: John Evans:616-922-0746
Networking
45° Northis the newsletterof FriendsNorth,Inc.Viewpoints
expresseddo not necessarilyrepresentthose of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED
ADVEmSING
and notices are run without charge. Please
submitin writingor by callingthe editor(andleavead on machine2713042or by email.)
DISPLAY
ADVERTISING
in Networking45° Northis availablein Business
Cardsize- $25.00per spaceper issueor an annualrate of $120.00for
6 issues.Inserts and larger sized ads are available.Pleasecall Jim
Ingleson616-922-0925for rates.
SPONSORING
POLITICAL
POSTCARDS:
Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking
45°Northis $100.00.Tosponsorall or part of this,and
to giveyour input,callRichard271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS
to Networkingare welcome.Letters,essays,features,
reflections,and originalartworkshouldbe sent "c/o Editor"to above
address. (Networkingwill not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatoryor sexuallyexplicit.Contributorsare responsiblefor
obtaining permissionfrom those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES:
Issue #1, December 15.
ADDRESS
CHANGES:
Pleasenotify us in advanceif a changeis coming.

CallJohn Evans,922-0746,or e-mailchangesto jdevens@gtii.com.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS:
$15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
sendchecksor moneyordersto: FriendsNorth,P.O.Box562,Traverse
City,MI49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION:
Networking
is published 5 times per year. Copiesare
sent bulk-mailin a plain envelopeto approximately700 households.
Additionalcopies are availableat select local establishments.Our
mailinglist is not soldor traded withother organizations.

~

FROMTHEEDITOR
THE CATHOLIC BISHOPS
Finally, the American Catholic Church
has taken a progressive step forward.
In late September, after five years of

study, the Catholic Bishops issued a letter,
with the following highlights:
• They
recognize
that
sexual
orientation is not chosen freely. -"Sexual identity helps to
define the unique person we are." -"God does not love
someone any less simply because he or she is
homosexual." -Parents must not reject their gay children in
a society full of rejection and discrimination.
• Church rules should not be enforced by the parents at the
expense of their gay child.
• The churches should encourage priests to welcome
homosexuals into parishes and to help establish or promote
support groups for parents of baby children.
Priests should
let people know from the pulpit and elsewhere that they are
willing to talk about homosexual issues.
There has been a 'somewhat negative' response from the
Pope, and a clarification by the Bishops too: The church draws a
distinction between homosexual orientation and sexual activity,
and the letter is not to be understood "as an endorsement of what
some would call a 'homosexual lifestyle."' It may be hard to be
encouraged after this last statement, but the positive moves far
outweigh this clarification.
PRESIDENTIAL SUPPORT
For the first time in history, an American President will be
speaking at a Gay and Lesbian Civil Rights Event. On November
8, President Clinton will be the keynote speaker at the Human

Rights Campaign's gala national dinner in Washington, DC.
Clinton has consistently spoken up about gay/lesbian civil
rights issues with his overwhelming verbal support of the
Employment Non-Discrimination Act. As well, VP Al Gore was just
quoted as saying, "Gays and lesbians ...certainly have my
commitment to work as hard as I can" to stop anti-gay hate crimes,
find a cure for AIDS and end workplace discrimination.
"It is time for all Americans to recognize that the issuesthat face
gays and lesbians in this country are not narrow, special interests,
they are matters of basic human and civil rights," Gore told the
National Gay and LesbianTask Forceat its annual awards ceremony.
WELCOME BACK P-FLAG

Local PFLAG's Jeff Erno has put together a great newsletter
for the fall, after an absence of several months. Their next meeting,
which is open to all and everyone, is Wednesday, November 19.
NEW ADVERTISING REP FOR NEWSLETTER
Thanks go to Jim lngleson for stepping forward and assuming the job
of coordinating advertising for us. If any advertisers have questions
about billing, ad placement or changes, please call Jim at 922-0925.

See you in '98 with our 12th year of the Friends North
newsletter!

f;?Jw<(Tv,-,~~z

printed on recycledpaper
NfIWORKING
45°NORTH

-2-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Carol Lambertson

• The Nominating Committee reported thatthey are collecting
names of persons interested in running for election to the
Friends North Board. There are three 1-year and four 2year vacancies.
• Re-writing the by-laws was again discussed. M'Lynn offered
to draft a set to distribute at the October meeting.
• The status of registrations for the November Gay History
& Education Event were discussed. Registration numbers
are not at the point we would like to see; however, we plan
to forge ahead. Even though we are
taking a chance
financially, the Board feels that our credibility rests
somewhat heavily on this event.
• A guest was present to discuss a Friends North-sponsored
discussion group for transgendered persons. At this time
no request was made for financial assistance. The Board
agreed that this was a good addition to the existing groups.
• There was considerable discussion regarding our financial
situation. Friends North as an organization is struggling.
Networking 45 ° North (the newsletter) is wavering in that
membership renewals are at an all-time low. Social activities
have failed to draw large enough groups to break even
financially.
• The Board was reminded that the Mission of Friends North
is as a social organization. We are not here to make money,
but rather to provide a newsletter and social events - as
long as we can afford to do so.
• SueSchwartz, our Treasurer,puttogether the following report,
which demonstrates that, indeed, we are meeting these goals.
We're essentially spending as much as we are bringing in.

FROM
THEPRESIDENT
This is my last column. It has been an
amazing 2 years!
When I became President of the Friends
North Board over a year and a half ago, I was
naive about a lot of things. I had little knowledge of the history of
the organization and the people who created it. My ideas about
gay politics were untainted. The passing of the last several
months
have allowed me to expand this perspective.
I've developed a strong admiration for the folks who founded
this organization, and for those who kept it going. It takes strong,
courageous and committed people to move continuously forward
in order to create positive change for the g/I/6/t community.
A special thanks to everyone who gave their time and energy
to serve as Friends North Board Members over the last two years.
Your extra stamina, diligent work and dedication to the organization
demonstrate your desire to foster change for our community.
I am also grateful to the many folks out there who attended
the social events, offered ideas and advice, challenged the Board,
furnished words of encouragement and helped us to remain
focused on the jobs at hand. The Board is grateful to all of you.
I encourage each person to renew your commitment to
Friends North and to this Newsletter.
My best wishes to the 1998-99 Board!

BOARD
NOTES:

Friends North Events as of August 31, 1997
Event
Revenue
Expenses
High Tea
$84.41
$510.41
Winter Party
$68.00
$191 .52
Prom
$443.00
$1,145.55
Pride Day
$1592,41
$2461.76
Bike Tour
$6355.00
$4304.15

In an attempt to maintain good communication among the
Friends North Board of Directors, the membership and the
readers of this newsletter, this section is intended to provide you
with a synopsis of our board
meetings.
We welcome feedback in the form of phone calls, letters to the
editor and attendance at the board meetings. Please let us know if
this information is helpful to you!
Reminder: All board meetings are the first Tuesday of each
month, 6:30 pm at Grace Episcopal Church. They are open to
everyone.

TOTALS

$8613.39

This report indicates that we have spent $70.57 MORE than
we have brought in so far this year.

Highlights of the September and October Board Meetings
included the following:
• The Bike Tour was discussed it was again very
successful and much positive feedback was received from
those attending. Jim, Kirk, Gretchen, Jeff and all others
involved in the planning and organizing did a wonderful job.
This event continues to be our most attended and
best
fund-raiser.
• Membership renewals were again discussed and the need
to stay on top of this process, as it is our main source of
funding. Renewals have been at an all-time low.
• There is a need to have a person dedicated to newsletter
advertising, with a focus on collecting payments for ads.

NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

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Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday (by appointment)

814-B S. Garfield• Traverse City, MI 49686
Res: 616-922-9272 • Office 616-933-4424

-3-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

* A special thank you to Alan Williams for all the quality time and
work on our City Commission Candidate Project. Alan also designed
the new Common Voices Logo.

SPENDYOURWINTERWITH

Common Voices
THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP

A

RAISING
COMMON
VOICES

1qt, t4e- ?-~ ~q~"""'t'T
Ed Richardson
Common Voices-The FriendsNorth RapGroup wantsto welcome
everyonein our gll;ly\:community. We want the insightand wisdom from
all generations.It is an extremely beautiful experience to witness all the
sharing between our various ages and ooth sexes. Our safe and
comfortablegatheringsmake it so much easierfor thosewho are taking a
"first step" into our community. There are not "clicks" and no one who
attendsCommon Voices eventsis ignored. If you needto talk, Common
Voices will always make time for you. So, why don't you join us?
Common Voices continues to grow and is now offering much
more than just the popular 2nd Wednesday of each month rap
session.
Our 4th Wednesday monthly local restaurant dinner (Common
Nibbles) gains in attendance. We choose a different dining
establishmenteach month.
We recently held a special event potluck and hike which proved
very successful (and enjoyable!) Thanks to one of our regular
Common Voices members. We would like to plan more "special
events"-just need input as to what is wanted. Please let Common
Voices know!
I am pleasedto report that Common Voices has become politically
alert by taking an active interest in the candidates running for the
TraverseCity City Commission. We felt it was extremely vital to educate
ourselves (and hopefully Networking 45 ° readers) because we
, strongly believe what happens politically on sexual orientation issues
in TraverseCity can influence the surrounding area.
Common Voices offers a free subscription to our monthly
newsletter (which is also a reminder of our gatherings and special
events.)To receive your copy, phone Edor Tom at the numbers listed
below. We need your name(s) and mailing address. (telephone
numbers are appreciated but optional). Our mailing list is confidentialno names/addresseswill be given out by anyone in Common Voices.
Common Voices/The Rap Group gatherings on the Second
Wednesdayof each month at 7 :30 pm in the basementlounge at Grace
Episcopal Church, 349 Washington St., Traverse City. Parking is
available in back and you can usethe rear entrance. Common Voices
people will be near the main church entrances until 7:30 to direct firsttimers to the lounge. Our rap sessionsoften include topics and videos
but more importantly, includes time for anyone who needsto talk and/
or vent in a safe environment.
Common Nibbles-the 4th Wednesday (7:00 pm) monthly local
restaurantgatheringchoosesa different dining establishment.Common
Nibbles has proven to be an excellent regular event with quality
interaction (and quality food) Call Ed or Tom at numbers listed below
for restaurantof the month.
Forany information aoout Common Voices/RapGroup/restaurant
choices/our newsletter mailing/special events - phone Ed 947-4697
or Tom 275-6127.
~a-le- pta-~e,

NE1WORKING
45'NORTH

-4-

Alan Williams
Traverse City used to have a well-kept secret called the
Friends North Rap Group. However, that secret is out-and so is
the name. Common Voices, as the Rap Group is now known, has
grown. Once, only a few people met once a month to discuss a
variety of topics; these days, the second-Wednesday meetings
have a regular audience in the double digits, and the fourthWednesday dinners (nicknamed "Common Nibbles" by some of
the participants) usually do aoout as well.
Haven't been to a Common Voices meeting? You don't know
what you're missing.
Common Voices calls itself "A safe space for the gay
community," but it's more than that. All are welcome, and though
members plan topics in advance, there's always room for
discussion of any topic a member might have on her or his mind.
The setting is informal and relaxed; there's room for both humor
and seriousness in a Common Voices meeting. If you haven't
attended a meeting in a while, or if you've never been to one, you
might find it worth your time to drop in at the Grace Episcopal
Church (349 Washington Street, in Traverse City) on the second
Wednesday of the month, at around 7:30, and see what's up.
Topics vary from month to month. October's topic was gay
culture; in November, it's a discussion on "Couples and Singles,"
and December will feature a discussion on "Surviving the
Holidays." There are videos and social gatherings. One member is
already planning a holiday party! In the past few months, there have
been potlucks and even a short hike at members' homes. The
location of the dinner varies from month to month, so it's a good
idea to call ahead to see where the group is gathering.
There's an occasional misconception that Common Voices is a
men-only group. Not so; Common Voices encourages diversity
within the group, and welcomes women within its ranks. If you have
a topic on your mind or just want to see what the buzz is about,
then come check out Common Voices. You'll be glad you came.
For more details, contact Tom Barkley (275-6127) or Ed
Richardson (947-4697). Hope to see you soon!

The comfortable gathering place for friends and couples.

David Schulz & Jim Walker
212 Park Street, Bellaire, Michigan 49615
800-545-0780 • (616) 533-6077
VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

City. Smyka, again, had no comment. Estesqualified his response:
"If any organization feels that I am their best candidate; I would
accept their endorsement. However, if I feel that the endorsement
would attempt to force me to make illegal or questionable decisions,
I would not accept the endorsement."
For further information regarding the candidates' responses,
please contact Common Voices via Friends North, at 616-9461804.

COMMON
VOICES
POLLS
CITY
COMMISSION
CANDIDATES
Common Voices sent the candidates for City Commission a
short questionnaire to learn more about the candidates' feelings
toward the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered (GLBT) community.
Of the candidates, only Margaret Dodd, Michael Estes,Robert Peltz,
and Linda Smyka responded. Shelly Kester, Tom Gilbert, Diane
Dennis, and Jim Tompkins did not respond.
Dodd, Estes,Peltz, and Smyka were, overall, supportive of the
gay community in their responses. When asked, "Do you think a
Human Rights Commission is needed in this area?" all three
responded positively. Dodd added that the HRC "will be needed
even more as our population becomes more diverse and
representative of the country as a whole." Estes wrote, "The
protection of human rights is one of the responsibilities of
government.
I feel that the local government has a definite
responsibility to make sure that the rights of its population are
respected and protected."
All four respondents support the addition of a sexual
orientation clause to Traverse City's anti-discrimination ordinance.
Peltz wrote, "If elected, I would encourage this issue to be placed
on the City Commission agenda." Dodd wrote, "I believe that gays
are now the group most likely to be victims of bias crime and among
those most likely to be discriminated against. Even so, there is still
no state or federal protection on which they can rely. The city
needs to do what it can to change this-other cities do." Esteswas
the only one who disagreed, because he felt that an addition to the
ordinance "would give preference to hiring practices that would
result in the employment of less qualified individuals simply to
satisfy quota requirements."
On the question of legalizing same-sex domestic partnerships
in Traverse City, Peltz and Dodd felt that they did not understand
the issuewell enough to respond with a "yes" or "no." Peltz wrote,
"I'm not sure I know enough about this issue, but I'm willing to be
informed."
Estes made a distinction between "marriage" and
"domestic partnerships": "If you mean do I support same sex
marriage, no. However, same sex partnerships that are legal are
perfectly all right with me." Smyka had no response.
Peltz and Dodd also indicated that they had no problem with
receiving an endorsement from a GLBT organization in Traverse

Letters
Dear Friends,
Sincere appreciation has to go out to Brenda, Kirk, Jim (and
others who helped!) for choosing such a beautiful hiking trail and
an absolutely perfect fall Sunday for the Friends North sponsored
Autumn Hike and Potluck on October 12th. The attendance was
wonderful and the potluck, at Brenda's promoted excellent
interaction and helped keep friendships alive. It never ceases to
amaze me what a healthy dose of nature (and eating together) does
to bring our sense of community together. Events, such as this,
do much to tear down the walls of separation within our glbt
family.
-Ed Richardson.

T

T

Note: The letter below was sent to us by two friends who lived in
TC and moved to California. I thought you might enjoy it. The Editor.
Hello,
We promised each other before we left for our first
international vacation, we would send out thank you letters and
update everyone on the California AIDS Ride-which proved to
be an incredible event for the two of us.
We wanted to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for
your support. Whether you supported us emotionally, spiritually,
financially or all three we could not have done the ride without

LETTERS
continuednextpage

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-5-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

Letters (continuedfrompreviouspage)
INTERCEPTEDLETTER:
MCMANUS RELIESON HYSTERIAAND BIGOTRY

you. Together we were able to raise over $9,000.00 for the
designated beneficiaries.
There was a total of 2476 riders-roughly
54% from
Southern California and 46% from northern California.
Collectively, we raised close to 9.5 million dollars, which goes on
record as being the largest AIDS fund-raiser in the world. The 7
days of 583 miles were long and tiresome, but with the support of
fellow riders and the cheers from enthusiastic spectators, we were
reminded that we were not alone. In fact, I think it is fair to say we
never traveled for more than 15 miles from San Francisco to Los
Angeles without someone waving banners from a porch,
displaying signs from a Winnebago, or passing out fruit from
church groups assembled in parking lots. We all shared in the
brutal climbs and scaled the grueling grades of the California coast
as we learned to adjust to the peculiarities of camp life-a life
defined by waiting in line for food, showers and toilets. It was an
incredible experience and a rewarding accomplishment we will not
soon forget.
Let us share just a few of our wonderful experiences that
brought us to tears nearly everyday:
• A migrant farm worker who, when told of the purpose of
the ride, explained she lost a son to AIDS and went back
into the field to collect $1.67 for the cause.
• Being greeted in Guadeloupe by the towns' children who
made paper flowers for us and waited to shake our hands.
• The man who stopped his car on the side of the road
waving a $20 bill at an AIDS rider and saying "please take
this"
• The group of 20 or so developmentally disabled youth who
lined up in their wheelchairs on the side of the road and
cheered as we rode by with smiles as big as Texas
• The 50+ year old mother who rode with her HIV positive
son, every mile, every hill, every day
• The rider who we nicknamed "Rainbow Man" who road a
tandem bike with an empty rear seat, in memory of his 7
year old nephew Dylan
• Riding down the Avenue of the Stars-entering Century
City with 2400 other riders into a sea of 8,000 friends and
family members who had gathered to support us as we
rode the last mile of our trek
• Having the chilling experience of hearing my mom yell
"Skeeter, Skeeter" out of a crowd of 8,000 supporters into
a crowd of 2,400 cyclists, and having my step-dad waive
two huge bouquets of flowers for Cindy and me because
we were their heroes!
Would we do it again? Absolutely! In fact, my mom and stepdad were so empowered by this event that they have donated
their semi truck and trailer to help support the Minneapolis to
Chicago AIDS Ride next year as part of the volunteer crew. Guess
where we'll be next July?
Many, many thanks for making this possible.
Much love,
Cindy & Skeeter

...

NElWORKING
45'NORTH

Dear Rep. Dobronski:
I am a member of the Detroit Human Rights Commission and I
am an officer at large in the Michigan Democratic Party. I am writing
to request your active support of Rep. Lynn Martinez's proposed
amendment to the Ethnic Intimidation law. The amendment would
add the phrase "sexual orientation" to the law.
I testified briefly before the Constitutional Rights Committee on
October 14th. It was quite clear that the one opponent of the bill
(rep. McManus) had no logic or rationale to justify her opposition.
She relied on hysteria and bigotry.
First, McManus said that including sexual orientation would
protect pedophiles. This was an effort to immediately take the debate
to the gutter! Detroit, Ann Arbor, EastLansing, Ferndale, Douglas,
Oak Park and Flint all have sexual orientation in local measures
already. In Detroit, we do not protect pedophiles ... we prosecute
them. It is outrageously insulting to suggest that Detroit (which
adopted its law more than 30 years ago) somehow protects
pedophiles. In fact, twelve statesand hundreds of cities now include
sexual orientation in civil rights law. Nowhere has any court ruled
that this phrase applies to child molesters. The argument is 100%
hysteria and Rep. McManus should be ashamed of herself.
Secondly, McManus referred to the First Amendment rights of
gay-haters. The Ethnic Intimidation law does not prevent Nazis from
believing whatever they choose to believe. The law applies only
when they act on that belief by committing an otherwise criminal act
such as vandalism or assault. Although we have laws against
vandalism and assault on the books now, the new measure would
provide for greater penalties.
I am a former School Board member, former County
Commissioner, former CongressionalAide and former StaffAttorney
for the Court of Appeals. I have been practicing law for 14 years and
also have a license to practice social work. The September Michigan
Bar Journal includes my article entitled "Sexual orientation and
Michigan Law." I sent a copy to committee chair Vaughn and asked
him to distribute it. If you have any questions about the LEGALaffect
of the amendment, please feel free to contact me.
Rudy Serra
(313) 331-RUDY
RASERRA@voyager.net

LETTERS
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-6-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Letters (continuedfrompreviouspage)
Michelle McManus
104th District
607 George Romney Bldg.
Lansing, Ml 48913

out specifically, to recognize that blacks and gays are constant
targets of bigots and to publicize it and protect us all.
Unfortunately this is absolutely necessaryand in no way is it a
request for a law that will benefit only certain members of society.
Education, tolerance, and understanding is the answer and a
full understanding of the problem is something our government
should have and protect at this point, full understanding must be
taught. Please appreciate the benefits of HB-4674
Sincerely
Christine E. Morey, Traverse City, Ml

Dear Ms. McManus:
Please reconsider your rejection of House Bill #4674. It is vital
that homosexual citizens be specifically included (not isolated) not
given special privileges, just awareness to all hate mongers. It is
well known blacks and gays are main targets.
As a parent of three grown children-one of whom is gay; I
have seen first hand the terrible toll ignorance takes on the
innocent lives of decent human beings. Our sexual orientation is
not chosen.
In our lovely city blacks and gay people have been assaulted,
physically and mentally. We are a capsule of ignorant America.
Our Human Rights Commission is reduced to ashes by the
City Commission appointment of the head of the hate filled John
Birch Society; a very strang.etwisted rambling eccentric man. Sad.
Commissioner JasperWeese-a poster boy for bigotry, and Shelly
Kester who doesn't know any better, are in charge of deciding
who and what may be involved in Human Rights issues. They
must be 'acceptable' to the Commissioners, a sheep-like group of
"I dunno, what are you gonna vote" mentality, thus ending,
literally, by their closed mindes - Human Rights.
This is neither a conservative, liberal, republican, democratic
issue! It is a human decency issue. It is true honest awareness.
Special consideration is not what this Bill #4674 is about. To
advance our society's issuesmust be spelled out clearly. We must
reach out and support good citizens in need of protection from
the hate faction. We are neither promoting or demoting anyone.
We all deserve human rights and decency.
Thank you for hearing me out 'via mail.' I speak for caring
loving parents, lost scared teens, and adults against cruelty and
ignorance.
We are unfortunately often a nation of groups, good, bad,
indifferent and threatening. We must consistently work on
improvement.
To work against House Bill #4674 is to work against equal
rights, which in this case is to educate people. It must be spelled

WHYDOI CONCERN
MYSELF
WITHTHESE
MATTERS?
Apathysucks ... but whocares?
Apathy is a human disease in which its victims become selfish
and oblivious of the world around them. It leads people to not
care, and often it causes them to ignore anything that does not
concern them-In the worse case scenario ignoring things that do
concern them. This is truly pathetic! Apathy is a major problem in
our LGBT community where very few people work extremely hard
to accomplish goals, host activities and provide events for the
entire membership.
Apathy, on a personal level, is not necessarily inexcusable. It
is true, we all have our own responsibilities that require us to
prioritize our time. But, when reruns of "The Simpsons"' or
"Jeopardy" (reruns of Ellen are however an acceptable excuse)
and goofing-off become more important than contributing our
personal resources to the health and well-being of our community,
apathy becomes a stagnating and destructive scourge upon us. I
realize that being part of the solution is much more difficult and a
lot less fun than being part of the problem, but I urge you ...
please try: Write letters/articles. Offer constructive suggestions.
Help plan and plan to attend Friends North events. Renew/Join
Friends North (very important! Memberships and advertising pay
the costs of producing the 45 Degrees North newsletter in your
hands).
Oh ... and to those individuals who made the Friends North
Autumn Hike a huge success ... Thank you Brenda for opening

LETTERS
continuednextpage

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NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-7-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

LITTERS
continuedfrompreviouspage
up your home for us to use; and Jeff and Kirk ... I loved the old
fashioned Apple Cider press and the wonderful fresh cider you
squeezed out of it! It was wonderful to meet all of the new people
and renew old friendships.
-M'Lynn Hartwell

...

behavior is described in books on the history of the homosexual
movement. Review the photographs of the past and present and
realize that transgendered people have been a part of the
homosexual community from the start.
To express a gender other than one in accordance with your
birth sex seems preposterous and deceptive to many. To
conform to the majority is self-defeating and it just doesn't work in
the long run. We all must resolve the needs of our souls, or suffer.
Recall your first timid realizations that your behavior didn't
coincide with the majority.
Remember the hiding, the guilt, and the fear. To not abide by
paranoia requires the pride many of us learn to rely on to survive.
It's sad when you loose your old friends and they leave in disgust.
When your family distances themselves from you because of the
shame they feel in your presence. You experience loneliness and
despair. Who would choose to live such abuse if they had any
choice in the matter? Where the individual's
psychology is
involved, I believe that the mind takes precedence over the
body.
There's a difference between sex and gender. In my case, if I think
I'm a female, aren't I?
Try to keep an open mind and be patient with the
transgendered. We are a deeply closeted group that needs a place
where we can be accepted regardless of our appearance. We all
face the same tormentors. Together we stand, divided we fall.
Thank you
Trisha Marie
Petoskey - (nirvana@freeway.net)

...

Dear Friends North,
If I may start, it has taken me awhile to respond to M'Lynn
Hartwell's article in the Friends North Newsletter, that I got back
in June. I liked the article that welcomes transgendered. Yes, I am
a transgender person that lives in Kalkaska. I am still in the closet
with fears of being falsely labeled. I would like to come to a club or
meeting.
Name withheld by request

T

T

T

A response from the Editor:
Please read the article in this issue of 45 ° North, entitled
"Trans-Group Interest," by Gwen Larson aboutthe effort to form
a "T-Support Group" in the greater Grand Traverse area. If you
are not already a member of Friends North, Inc., please consider
joining us and participating in our many activities and events
throughout the year.

...
Letter to the Editor
I'm thankful to all those individuals involved in the recent
board decision to include the transgendered among the Friends
North membership. An organization grows by becoming inclusive
of all people who share commonality with the primary cause.
Unfortunately the transgender minority is poorly connected, so
word of this recent inclusion will spread slowly among us. The
opportunity to become a part of the Friends North
community will
be beneficial and I'd like to express my appreciation and thanks to
the Board for their decision.
I had heard that the argument for non-inclusion of the
transgendered in past gay pride marches was because the
transgendered as a group, can be a visual detriment. We can look
pretty outlandish because the majority of us
can't afford the
complex surgeries, hormonal treatments; wardrobes or the
legal
documentation needed to live in the gender opposite our birth sex.
The impediments to our transitions are formidable. We refer to
getting medical approval for hormonal treatment as "jumping
through the hoops". The whole process is quite costly. The trans
appearance often doesn't conform to the societal ideal of what a
man or woman should look like. I'm glad that the Friends North
group is attempting to see beyond appearance to
the deeper
reasons for behavior in their analysis of the subject.
Historically, transgendered people have been around since
the beginning of time. Images of the transgendered appear
archeologically in the form of artifacts and sculpture. Trans

NEWTRANSGROUP
ORGANIZES
by Gwen Larson

This has been several years in the making, but there comes a
time when you have to take the chance and reveal your secret side
to more than just a couple of other people. With this in mind I'll
continue.
As with other individuals of a similar nature, I grew up as a
male who was attracted to dressing in women's clothing since
around the age of eight. Obviously, I was limited to getting into
my mom's things at that time. The desire to wear women's clothing
never left me, and for many years I thought I was the only one
anywhere who was this weird. When I was thirty-six I shared my
secret with my wife to be, which prompted a search for
information on the subject of transvestitism. Eventually, through
a family counselor, we were put in touch with Crossroads in Royal
Oak, a support group for transgendered persons. Contact with
that group led to another support group known as IME of Western
Michigan in Grand Rapids. I have been a member of IME for
several years, and without their support and that of my wife, I

THE ONLYONEcontinuednextpage
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1997

KIRKcontinuedfrompreviouspage

out... He was catching flak from his parents because he hadn't been
dating any girls - he really didn't have any interest in girls. We had
talked about that ... maybe we should hang out with girls because
someone is going to start to talk ... but that night we had a huge
argument and ended up going our separateways."
Two years later Kirk stood up with this young man at his wedding.
"When he turned to take the ring he looked me in the eye. That was
probably one of the most difficult things that I've ever had to deal with.
It was a very confusing time of my life. It had not been a one-sided
relationship. If he could get married, maybe I'm not gay either."
During this time Kirk dated girls and finally met one to whom he
became engaged and Iived with for three years. But that fell apart and
Kirk finally decided he was not going to pretend any more.
"Those feelings didn't go away."
Through all of this and in spite of the emotional turmoil, Kirk was
gainfully employed at work he enjoyed. Right out of high school he
went to work for a fire safety company as a safety coordinator. This
job took him all over the statesettingup safetyprogramsin universities,
schools, factories, even the state prison system. Among his
company's clients was Tr~verseCity Area Public Schools. After six or
so yearsof travelling from shoreto shore and stateline to state line, he
naturally turned to a familiar place near home.
"I had done safety work for the school systemso I knew the ins
and outs of the entire layout, and I was looking for a change... They
had some positions open. I applied. They called me and I was hired."
Kirk worked at Bertha Vos Elementaryfor several years before
being transferred in January of this year to Norris ElementarySchool
where he is a custodian.
"I am the youngest in historyto have a lead shift custodial position
in the elementary school. I was thirty when I stepped into that
position."
Kirk thoroughly enjoys his work and the children love him.
"They've gotten me a nameplatefor my door that says'Mr Kirk'.
That's the name they gave me. They seemto know when Mr. Kirk is
having a down day and needs a hug."
Outside of his work and his activities with FriendsNorth, Kirk has
always done volunteer work with such organizations as Alzheimer's
Association, the March of Dimes, and volunteer work at school.
"I go to NMC and talk every term to the human sexuality class. I
always get the same comment: Kirk, you don't look gay... I enjoy
breaking stereotypes." Kirk is running for one of the positions open
on the Friends North Board next month.

WORDSANDMUSIC:WHAT'SNEWIN
CD'sANDTAPES
BOOKS,
MAGAZINES,
By Rick Gould
With the holidays upcoming, here are some suggestions from
our local book and music stores:
At The Bookie Joint, Shelley recommends: pride jewelry,
bumper stickers, pride T-shirts, and over 1,500 used books of gay
and lesbian interest. Bring in your books to trade and save
money.
From Borders, Aimee's FallM'inter book picks:
Michael Nava, a consumate storyteller, try "How Town,"
$4.99 or "The Little Death" at $9.95. His newest work, due out
now is "The Burning Plain" at $20.65.
Mark Richard Zubro, whose mysteries keep you guessing
until the final pages, try "Rust on the Razor" at $10.95, "Another
Dead Teenager" at$ 9.95 or "Echo of Death" for $8.95.
Claire McNab, a great wit and character, stars in "Lessons in
Murder" at $10.95. McNab's newest' "Chain Letter" is due out
this month.
"Rita Will," the new biography by Rita Mae Brown, is $22.55.
P.S.: Good books, good coffee, great people ...sound like a
winning combination? Then you ought to stop by the Lesbian and
Gay Book Club at Borders Books & Music. We sit, talk about
books, share a few laughs, and generally have a great time in a
relaxed atmosphere. In November, we'll be reading "Entries From
a Hot Pink Notebook" by Todd D. Brown, which tells the sweet
and funny story of a 14 year old boy coming out, finding love,
and coping in a homophobic school setting. We average about a
dozen people at each meeting, but new faces keep things fun and
interesting. Even if you haven't read the book for the month,
please come by and join the discussion, and help pick the book
for the next month. The group meets on the last Monday of every
month at Borders' Cafe, Espresso, at 7:30 p.m. All book group
titles are 20% off.
At AB CD's, Norm gave us this list:
Andrea Bocelli's "Romanza." This disc has topped all the
charts in Europe for most of the year 1997. Andrea is a wonderful
Italian vocalist and his current disc has finally made a stateside
WORDS&MUSICcontinuednextpage

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NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
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1997

WORDS& MUSICcontinuedfrompreviouspage

appearance in September. Sung primarily in Italian the set includes
a wonderful duet with Sarah Brightman (Christine from
Phantom
of the Opera), a #1 hit in Europe, "Time to Say Goodbye."
Sarah Brightman - "Surrender - The Unexpected Songs." The
lastest Brightman effort is an import from Canada and is comprised
completely of Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes. Songs from Aspects
of Love, Song and Dance, Cats, JesusChrist Superstar and Sunset
Blvd,-Brightman
delivers.
Loreena McKennitt - "Book of Secrets." McKennitt's seventh
recording and supposedly her last. There is no new ground
covered with this recording but then again why mess around with
proven material?
McKennitt far and wide surpasses her
contemporaries with little studio production and overdubbing.
This is pure composition and delivery with incredible style.
"The Life" - original Broadway Cast Recording - the material
and subject matter seem slightly odd but the performances are
incredible. The plot revolves around the pimps and hookers of
1970s Time Square. Drama Desk Award Winner and Tony Award
nominations abound from this musical. Featured performers
range from Sam Harris (Tony nominee), Chuck Cooper (Tony
Award winner) and Pamela Isaacs. Unfortunately, the hottest
ticket on Broadway will see Sam Harris leave the company but the
performance will live on with the soundtrack recording.
At Horizon, Jennifer gave us these selections:
"Walt Whitman: A Gay Life," by Gary Schmidgall, $32.95.
Drawing from Whitman's poetry, private journals and letters, the
author explores Whitman's life as an artist and man.
"The Girls Next Door," by Lindsey Van Gelder and Pamela
Robin Bandt, $13.00. This is a cross-country trip covering the
United States and filled with short stories on lesbian life from all
the states.
"Tuesdays with Morrie," by Mitch Alborn, $19.95. This is the
true story about life's lessonsgiven to us by an elderly dying man.
Alborn, the Detroit Free Press columnist gives us an intimate
account of his friendship with his former teacher.
"Am I Blue?," by Marion Bauer, $5.95. Original short stories
by a variety of famous authors. The stories honestly portray the
subject of growing up gay or lesbian.
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us the following:
"The Accidental Activist," by Candace Gingrich, $12.00.
Sister of Newt's memoir is now out in paper.
"The Farewell Symphony," by Edmund White, $25.00. The
long-awaited final book of the literary trilogy is complete. This is
the follow-up to "A Boy's Own Story" and "The Beautiful Room
Is Empty."
"The Lavender Screen, Revised and Updated," by Boze
Hadleigh, $19.95. This has more films covered in the update to
this fun and imformative book.
"Marcus Schenkenberg: New Rules," by Marcus S., $27.50.
That European supermodel takes an in-depth look at the hardships
of modelling. Pictures? You bet! Plus, an introduction by Gianni
Versace.
Remember, these stores appreciate your comments and business.
NfIWORKING45°NORTH

LOOKING
OTHER
WAYHURTS
USALL
reprinted w/permission of
Loraine Anderson, Regional Editor, Traverse City Record-Eagle

I saw my first Queer Reserve Note-a $3 bill with President
Clinton in the oval-at a local gun and key shop about four years ago
during the height of the gay military ban debate.
I said nothing, but I did write a short story. In the story, a lesbian
went to the shop to have a key made and saw the $3 bill. She felt
exhausted. This was what she hated about being out. It was never
over.
Right thought, right action, shetold herselfbefore telling the shop
owner how the $3 bill affected her. Shedidn't usethe word offensive.
It went deeper than that. The $3 bill was hurtful, shesaid. It hurt them
both, but mostly him becauseof his intention. He scoffed.
I saw my second $3 bill last winter at a downtown restaurant.It
was taped to the cash register.I askedthe owner if I could have a word
with him.
"You're what?" he askedwhen I told him I was a lesbianand that
I found his $3 bill hurtful. He told me I was too sensitive.Neither of us
were angry, nor were we comfortable I left, shakingfrom fear I'd been
holding off. It had taken me all of my adult life and a short story to get
to that conversation.
I saw my third $3 bill just last month at an area shoe shop. I felt
exhausted.I knew this would mean another round of anguishand soul
searching.
Say something. It's the right thing to do.

Don't say anything. It won't change anything.
Probably not, but you' re not trying to changeanyone. You' re just
not letting things like this change you.
Peace, harmony, right thought, right action.

As I drove back to work from the shoe shop, I thought about the
$3 bills and the freedom people haveto putthem on their wal I.I thought
about my freedom to say something about them. I thought about
Disney and the courage it shows by including sexual orientation in its
non-discrimination policies and by giving benefitsto partnersof its gay
and lesbian employees. I thought about the importance of the Ellen
coming-out episode and gay pride events.
I have often likened growing up in a homophobic culture to
growing up in an abusive home where you are battered daily
psychologically and mentally to the point that you don't recognize the
abuse. It keepsyou quiet and isolatedfrom other people like yourself.
Becauseof your isolation, you start believing the hateful things people
say. You are filled with self-loathing.
And you never speak up and neither does anyone else. In the
end, maybe you don't even see it.
This is how oppression blinds and silences.It is in this fearful quiet
that prejudice and stereotypesfesterunchecked, settinga societal tone
that makes people think they can hit "a nigger," and a "faggot'' and get
away with it.
The only antidote is seeing and naming it.
That's why I have to say something about the $3 bills.
They hurt their targets, the people who put them up and our
community. And they won't come down until a lot of straight people
say something.
And I have to wonder if anyone did. Or do we quietly accept $3
bills hanging on walls and cash registersin TraverseCity?
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VOLUME
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1997

THE ONLYONEcontinuedfrompreviouspage

would still be thinking that I was the "only one". I am fortunate to
have the freedom to explore my feelings, and am now very
comfortable with my feminine side. In fact, I believe that it makes
up the majority of my being. I like that in a person.
During my tenure to find myself, I have met quite a few
transgendered individuals in Traverse City and the surrounding
area. I am convinced that there are many more out there, who think
they are the "only ones". Recently, in the Petoskey area there was
an attempt to organize a support group that met with limited
success.This effort was finally abandoned. I believe that there is a
serious need for such a group in Northern Michigan, and with the
help and support of Friends North, Inc., it is possible to start a
support group. With a little help from Friends North, and the 45
Degrees North Newsletter we will be able to achieve a successful
transgender support organization in Northern Michigan.
I am offering my time and energy to make a serious effort, but
of course I will need help from the people who are interested. It
will be your support group. The very fact that you are reading this
article in 45 Degrees North shows a growing level of support and
understanding for our regional transgendered people. I met with
the FN Board Of Trustees at their October meeting, and have
gained their approval to begin forming a transgendered support
group. It is up to us now.
If you have an interest in joining a growing and caring local "T"
Support Group (transvestite, cross-dresser, cross-gendered,
transgendered,transsexual,and friends & families of), contact me at:
T-Support Group
c/o Gwen Larson
Box 562
Traverse City, Ml 49685-0562

If you have a computer, you may wish to visit the following
web
address that
contains
HIV
Resources: http://
www.HIVpositive.com
-the comprehensive resource for HIV
and AIDS, covering a wide range of topics that impact quality of
life. Over 3,000 files of useful educational information for all those
concerned and involved.
This is Phoebe Hanshew, Student Pride Coordinator and
GLSEN Intern. Y'all might remember that Student Pride is a new
project of GLSEN's to network all the Gay-Straight Alliances and
student activists in the country so that starting and sustaining
those kinds of groups is easier. We will soon have a web site,
newsletter, and e-mail lists to facilitate communication between
students as well as advisors for the groups.

A Student Pride web site is now forming. When school starts
we need to be ready to respond to the needs of student activists.
Here's where you come in! You can help me and Student
Pride by sending me the names of high schools in your area that
have student groups that deal with LGBT issues. They can be
overall diversity clubs, Human Rights clubs, GSAs, or support
groups. If it is possible, send along the name of a faculty or student
contact, and address or phone number of the school. Even if you
aren't positive that there is a group I can still use the information.
I know these groups are out there ... help connect them to this
important network and put hands on our mission to make schools
better places.
E-MAIL: studentpride@glstn.org

V
Coming out can seem easier in the Age of Internet: teens no
longer need to feel so isolated, for example, and adults have
alternatives to bars, softball games and cruising zones. By some
estimates, as many as 10 million LGBT's may be online, with an
unknown percentage in the closet. And yet, there's a catch: the
internet is still in its infancy: accessing the right information can be
a laborious, frustrating chore.
For this reason, PlanetOut (www.planetout.com) and the
National Coming Out Project of the HRC (http://www.hrc.org/
neap/index.html) have joined forces to create a new coming out

or by e-mail at <GwenChrist@aol.com>.

ELECTRONIC
CORNUCOPIA
by M'Lynn Hartwell

I am seeking feedback from our readership on the
establishment of a new column I am considering calling, Electronic
Cornucopia. As more and more of our 45 Degrees North readers
acquire computers, I am hoping that this column may be of value
in locating interesting and useful web sites.

HAIR

FORCE

CORNUCOPIA
continuednextpage

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NfIW0RKING45°N0RTH

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1997

CORNUCOPIA
continuedfrompreviouspage

tool. GayHelp will consolidate existing resources as well as
creating new-to-the-world resources for families, friends and
questioning LGBT's ... as well as to out LGBT's seeking the advice
and damage control.
The interactive "virtual panel," modeled after the Boston GLB
Speakers Bureau, will disseminate the experiences not only of
LGBT's, but also of their allies, clergy, parents and children. Out
LGBT's will find coming out experiences, strategies and tips,
targeted recommendations, and Outsource, our answer to antigay rhetoric. For every debate on Gay Parenting which doesn't
mention the studies of children raised by lesbians, for every time
you've heard Gays in the Military debated without reference to
the failed attempt to show homosexuals unfit for service ... now
there's Outsource, a Pro&Con of famous studies and opinion
pieces that every LGBT should have.
A free-text interface will help skittish visitors to explore at their
own pace, without facing issues before they're prepared. Many
current, excellent resources reside on sites such as... well, such
as PlanetOut and the HRC, which can scare newcomers to the
community with calls to action, and terminology such as "dyke"
and "queer." GayHelp will therefore be available through it's own
kinder, gentler URL, www.gayhelp.com.

known for his outspoken and off-the-wall preaching during the
meetings and many times dominated them with his overpowering
demeanor. This summer, in a controversial move by current
conservative commission members, Schoech was appointed to the
T.C. Human Rights Commission with the charge of protecting
minority rights and gay rights in Traverse City.
Marki quickly became a household name known by the
public, and he stood by his virulent statements which condemned
gays and lesbians. In a particularly charged commission meeting,
he was chastised for his remarks about gays by local attorney
Dean Robb. In this, Robb issued a challenge to Commissioner
Marki. With this, Marki agreed that if Robb and his friends could
gather a certain number of voter signatures asking for Marki to
resign, then he would leave the city commission.
The story was picked up around the state, and immediately
became notable in the New York Times as well as the Wall Street
Journal. Markl's comment about gays was even used as a lead-in
for a new book on discrimination against gays and lesbians. It
seemed that the discussion occurring in Traverse City was one of
the first to have public exposure.
Within a matter of a couple days after the challenge was
issued, many more than enough signatures were gathered and a
surprised Marki was confronted for his promised resignation.
Marki declined to resign despite the overwhelming number of
signatures condemning him for his outspoken, anti-gay opinions.
Mysteriously, it appears that some not-so-gentle pressurewas
placed on him by a local person and after this confrontation John
Marki quickly resigned. He then disappeared from public view.
Meanwhile, his statements and the reaction and antics of the
city commission had raised a timely issue-one that would come
years later to small town America around the country. The subject
of gays and lesbians became the number one topic in the RecordEagle and the letters to the editor were numerous. The religious
extremists, apparently led by Matthew Schoech, continued to
gather at the weekly commission meetings to condemn all gays and
lesbians and to quote from the Bible. Locai gays and lesbians also
gathered to state their opinions and defend themselves.
With Markl's resignation, things calmed down. His offhand gaybashing comments sparked a fire in the gay community. Local people
quickly learned that the heretofore invisible gays and lesbians were
their neighbors and coworkers. Area residents were warned by the
religious extremists that Traverse City was quickly becoming a San
Francisco drawing gays and lesbians from the Midwest. Although
this may not have been the case, gays and lesbians began coming
out by writing to the paper and it became clear that there were many
straight supporters of civil rights in the City.
Well, Traverse City never did get its condom machines in the
public restrooms. jasper Weese was defeated the next time he ran
for re-election. Many local gays and lesbians began to come out
and speak up. Friends North grew to become a more significant
and representative organization because of this dialogue around
Markl's opinions. And, now John Marki has been convicted of a
crime that many of us would consider to be done only by those
who are "the most disgusting and filthiest people on earth."

FORMER
T.C. COMMISSIONER
SENTENCED:
REMEMBRANCES
OFMARKL'S
ASSAULT
ONGAYSYEARS
AGO
Staff Writer

John Marki, a former Traverse City commissioner received a
thirty day jail sentence in September from local District Court Judge
Mike Haley for attempted third-degree child abuse. According to
local news reports, Marki had an altercation with his daughter
while on a boat earlier this summer, and during the course of the
argument, he slapped her. The prosecution said that he grabbed
her neck and hit her head on a railing.
Many gays and lesbians will remember Mr. Marki from 1987
when he sat on the City Commission meeting in relative
conservative obscurity.
However, during a controversial
commission discussion about whether to allow condom machines
in city restrooms, he declared that gays were the filthiest, most
disgusting people on earth.
Markl's statement was picked up by a reporter and printed
by the local paper. He quickly became known all over the T.C.
area for his bigoted opinions which gained him much popularity
with the anti-gay elements of the area.
Jasper Weese, a
commissioner who represented older, ultra-conservative fringe
elements in the city, gave him his full support.
The City Commission meetings all of a sudden became popular
and were packed with supporters of gays as well as the local
religious extremists. One of these was Matthew Schoech, rumored
to have been the local head of the John Birch Society, and who was
particularly vocal in his support of Marki. He quickly became

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VOLUME
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1997

Property of the

LAsTING
IMPRESSIONS
by R. Green
Aside from his appearance, which I will describe as best I
can in full in just a bit, most noticeable was his cadenced
explanation of it all-his life to date and the reason for my being
there. He brought it all forth as if it were the requ,irement of
some sect, and penitence would be due if he didn't just keep
on bringing it forth.
The curious demeanor of "let me tell you 'it'-"the"
story I
have seen before. Homos. If you don't play right and listen
right, you don't get to stay very long. Perhaps the need to tell
comes from some feeling of inadequacy. Like having stolen
your sister's doll clothes with a friend, and having repaired to
the tree fort, only to find that your partner is now somewhat
reluctant to commit to such a girl-thing. You got him that far,
"you must do as I do-hear as I want you to hear." Convince
him, force him, make him stay. What if he got away? What if he
told? Or what if instead of the doll's head smashed into the
floorboards, your own head got shoved against the wall like a
counter-to-the-floor dropped melon? Oh these gays and their
little concerns.
Jerry kept the pace for me.
I don't like AIDS pieces. Enough already. It is on its way
out. More people will die. More people will die by not using seat
belts. But as a society we have had enough.
I write for a medium-sized newspaper in anywhere USA,
(Everett, WA). I am using this job to get to something real
downtown. I left college thinking that I could in fact just walk
into a job with a real paper. I have friends who did that. I didn't
because I am serving penitence, working in an office where the
advertising guy has his desk face-to-face touching mine. No
separate office, no partition, he's right there, making his little
deals with little drugstore advertisers selling little statues on sale
this week. "And do you have art from the manufacturer? Is
Who gives a shit.
there an expiration date on this coupon?"
Right there, every day. And so what if the office is next to a
beauty parlor. Not any kind of in this decade hip hair place. A
beauty parlor with big head cones that get lowered onto Aunt
Bea's brain, cooking the gel for 45 minutes, then
voila-Aunt
Bea emerges, mysteriously identically ridiculous as when she
went in. But I digress and I must keep the pace.

enter

Another AIDS piece, oh Christ. I have done these before.
Not to be featured in my Mayberry Tribune, of course. It, the
AIDS thing, it is, it was the issue, and there is a huge gay
community in town, and so enter me into high exposure. I did
my time roaming Capital Hill where the homos live. I dug up
some talkers I did a warm piece. I touched them. I got close. I
showed them I cared. The pieces, three altogether, weren't bad.
Sort of a normal person's peek at the progression of the disease
in three men's lives. The Times actually got interested. Said they
showed something. All three pieces had intros: "Blah, Blah," "I
am angry," "I am hurt," "I am scared." I think the piece showed
my style, but ultimately The Times didn't buy it.
This thing I'm doing today is from the partner of one of my
featurettes who died. A little creepy: He called and wanted to
share something with me. Please-no sharing. Then he said
KLMO, the big TV guys, had got hold of the piece I submitted
to The Times and they wanted to follow-up, actually make
something of it.
I need to take a break on where this piece you're reading
now is going. Christ, I am writing myself into being the callous
guy, converted to being not callous by some warm-hearted
AIDS story. Not, not, not. I really am shallow. Was then. Am
now. I write about stuff and sometimes it gets printed and I
don't want to be excused. If something happened, anything, I
can tell about it as well as I can hustle down alternative pumpkin
recipes for Aunt Bea. It's all just journalism. And that's ok: it's
how informed America learns. No, it's what they learn.
Jerry, the living partner, left this message on my voice mail:
"I have to share something with you," and he leaves his name
and address and where he lives and what day and time I should
be there as if I will just show up because he's an AIDS victim.
And I did. I think he baited me with the TV thing.
Broad hands, well over six feet, full head of hair, wavy,
brown, with a sheen, no trace of any weird over-the-counter
smell. No smell other than a faint human sweetness, perhaps
some normal person's brand of soap mixed with his own smell.
"Thanks for coming," Jerry said. "KLMO wanted to do a
follow-up. I didn't want to be the merry widow so I turned them
down but their probing around got me thinking, dreaming,
actually. I wouldn't have thought to do this on my own but you
lAsTING IMPRESSIONS
continued

14

HELPLine!
Gay? Lesbian? Bisexual? Transgendered?
Have Questions? Need Help?
Cal I: 616/946-1804
or 800/579-8769

OpenMonday-Saturday6:00pm- Sundayat 2:00pm
Confidentially answered any time day or night

NffWORKING45'NORTH

616.,. 935.,. 1666.,. 520 Franklin .,. Traverse City, MI 49684
Proudly Gay Owned and Operated since 1989
-11-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

JL A

I[

IE

JF I[
GROUPS:

(Note: All classified announcements are run without charge. Please
submit them in writing to the Friends North address, or call the
editor at 616-271-3042 and leave the advertisement on the
answering machine along with a contact phone number)

NEWANNOUNCEMENTS:
COMMON VOICES, The Friends North Rap Group, publishes a
monthly newsletter, thanks to Tom Barkley. It will remind people who
choose to be on the mailing list of monthly Common Voices meetings,
dinners and other group activities. Mailing list names, numbers and
addressesare kept in confidence. This information will not be given out
to any inquirers by anyone in Common Voices. (issue 1)

FRIENDS NORTH MEETINGS: The Friends North Board meets on the
first Tuesday of each month (Except August) at 6:30 p.m. at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets, across
from the Old Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 2)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of
men and women who get together monthly for informal discussion,
often on a particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of
every month at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30
pm. For information, call Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at947-4697. (issue 5)
GLSEN,the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Education Network, is meeting monthly
in Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more
information, call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace
Episcopal Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For
more information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Pleasecontact Third Level at 922-4800
or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Pleaseseethe Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSECITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul at 933-0572 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. He will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 5)
WELLNESSNETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday
evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at
341 Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month
the Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans
Drive, Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information,
please call 933-0279. (issue 5)
•
THE PETOSKEYGROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information
please contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 5)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 5)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit
organization that has committed itself to helping and supporti~g the
needs of HIV infected persons. They offer a number of services,
including support groups, education, public awareness, and one-onone friendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena,
Gaylord, and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the
program, please call 616-526-9213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Wednesday at 5:30 pm and Saturday at 11 :00 am at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in TC. For
further info, call John at 922-0746 or Hilda at 938-9294. (issue 2)

ON-GOING
ANNOUNCEMENTS
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-111 O. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue 5)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEYis
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 EastMitchell St. Services are
held on the first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call
347-8916 for details or write POB 873, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0873
(Issue 5)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION.
The group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823.
Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 5)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY
HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, F~EENorplants, DepoProvera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other
methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630.
Services are by appointment only. (issue 1)

HOUSING/RESORTS
ROOM FOR RENT: $275.00/mo. Includes utilities, washer-dryer, and
all house privileges. Call Joe or Corinne at 947-8402 (issue 5)
PAMPERYOURSELF!Spend a romantic or quiet weekend or week in a
beautiful two bedroom home with sauna, fireplace and lake access.Just
3 miles from lnterlochen Center for the Arts. Call 275-5924 for details
and rates. (issue 5)
ROOM FOR RENT: in nice home in East Jordan. Male or Female.
$55.00/wk. plus long distance telephone calls. Nonsmoker. Includes
full house privileges. Tom: 616-536-0308 (issue 5)

PERSONALS:
GAy WHITE MALE, 24, brown hair, blue eyes. I am looking for a friend
to share my thoughts with. I should be home in 1998. I like reading,
music. You can write to me at: Cassidy M. Westeen, #211011, PO Box
5000, Carson City, Ml 48811-5000 (issue 5)
I'm lookingfor a mail friend. Please write to: 10620 E 42, Manton, Ml
49663. Please send pictures. (issue 5)

NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

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VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for gay,

lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please contact
Brad at 517-354-0841 (Issue2)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting on the last
Monday of each month, 7:30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on South
Airport Rd., T.C. For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Aimee.
(issue 1)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL,WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet thefirst and third
Tuesdayof each month, from 11:30 am until 1:00 at a local, TraverseCity
restaurant.Call Pamelaat 922-0734 or contact FriendsNorth. (issue5)

SUPPORT
SAFESCHOOLS
IN NORTHERN
MICHIGAN
Lesbians, gay men and all sexual minorities (not to mention all
other living creatures!) need civil- rights. Our young people need
to be safe from anti-gay bigotry at school.
The statistics are chilling. 97% of public high school students
report regularly hearing homophobic comments from their peers.
80% of gay and lesbian youth report experiencing severe
isolation. 30% of teen suicides are reported to be committed by
gay and lesbian youth.
Perhaps no influence in the lives of our children is greater than
that of peers and educators. All across the United States and
beyond, communities and school-boards are discussing the issue
of Safe Schools. People, who care, realize that the social
environment within our schools hasa direct impact upon a students
ability to learn; and the integrity and safety of the entire community.
Currently the Michigan House of Representatives is hearing
arguments about HB4674: The Ethnic Intimidation Act (Note: The
LGBT community is NOT protected by The Ethnic Intimidation Act,
as it is currently written). I would like to see our community take
the next step ... a region wide Safe Schools Policy.
To help make schools safe for young gays and lesbians please
support the GLSEN Safe Schools Initiative, including:
antihomophobia programming, youth advocacy, and community
organizations.
For more information, or to volunteer, please write:
GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) - PO Box Nine
- Traverse City Ml 49685 - E-mail: GLSEN TC@aol.com

TOLL FREE NORTHERNMICHIGAN
HELPLINE!
-UPDATEThe Northern Michigan Helpline! (Help and Information Line),
introduced throughout the regional media in February of this year,
is a huge success! Typical calls to the Helpline!
include:
individuals seeking a counselor to discuss coming-out issues, or
NETWORKING
45°NORTH

parents who are attempting to understand what it means for their
child to b~ gay, and also, many professional referrals ... and so
much more.
Helpline! is here to help individuals and families address
concerns about same-gender affectional relationships and
orientation through information, counseling and intervention.
Helpline! staff will respond immediately to help individuals and
families cope with the difficulties they encounter as the result of
bias in our schools, family, church and community, as well as
other emotional concerns.
Please consider making a generous financial contribution to
the Helpline! (whatever you can afford), so that we may continue
to provide this excellent community service. We are a non-profit
community service organization. Your charitable contribution is
fully Tax Deductible within IRSguidelines. Pleasesend your check
or money order today!
Address your check or money order to:
Helpline!
Telecommunications Group - PO Box Nine - Traverse City Ml
49685.
The Helpline! telephone number in Traverse City: 616 / 9461804
If outside Traverse City you may call: 800 / 579-8769

EASTLANSING,
MICHIGAN
MICHIGAN
STATEUNIVERSITY'S
BOARD
OFTRUSTEES
VOTED
...
5 - 3 to extend health benefits and insurance coverage to the
partners of its gay and lesbian faculty and staff, the Detroit Free
Press reports.
The benefits package is strictly for same-sex couples, as
straight couples have the legal option of matrimony, said university
officials.
Michigan State University, the state's largest school, first
debated the domestic partnership proposal last year, but
postponed discussion of the
matter when conservatives in the
state legislature successfully attached punitive measures to an
education appropriations bi II.
Republican Senator Bill Schuette sponsored an amendment last
December for precisely the amount spent on such programs. The
University of Michigan and Wayne State University, both of which
instituted similar programs in 1995, cried foul, prompting
intervention by the state attorney general's office.
Attorney General Frank Kelley ruled last April that the
legislative measure was a violation of university autonomy as
provided in Michigan's constitution, but his decision had its
limitations. Junior colleges, for example, are not protected under
the same statutes as the larger
schools, and can be legally
penalized.
The state legislature also has the right to ask the schools how
much they spend on the gay benefit before making a final decision
on its state appropriation.

-13-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
S • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

LAsTINGIMPRESSIONS
continuedfrompage 11

kept showing up in my dreams and then I had one with you
and Hughy in it and it was weird enough to make me do this
asking of you to come and get the rest of the story."
Out comes this big photo album.
Oh Christ, I think.
"You recall that Hugh lapsed into a coma for three weeks
and then came out of it."
Photo-hospital
bed shot. Good God what a keepsake I say
to myself and he goes on.
"Your interview was shortly after he came out of the coma.
He didn't know everything when he gave you that interview.
That was my fault. He would have said something different. I
don't know what. He would have told you more. No, he would
not have talked. If you would have come back to do a followup piece, you would have seen him like that."
Photo- My God-why this, why did you do this? What could
possibly make this necessary? Why do you show me? I say inside
myself. (Photo shows eyes, such eyes, coming straight into the
lens from a body with plastic straps holding the arms affixed to
the side of the bed.
"Why is he restrained?"
Before speaking, the man looked softly down sideways to
the floor. All shamed. What is this? I think.
"The boy, Tommy, killed himself."
Photos-I look at them to look away from him. Largest
group of people at a family table I've ever seen-probably
Christmas. Jerry and Hugh at one end with a chunky 1O year
old-the boy sharing a knee for a seat from each of the men.
More-a toy plane and the boy, toothless, smiling. Another
photo-the boy on someone's shoulders-I don't know which
of the two.
"Well, I am sorry that the boy killed himself." I say and I
wonder, why me? Time to go.
"I see you're uncomfortable but you needed to know.
Tommy died because he didn't want Hugh to be afraid to die. I
know this because I knew the boy. He didn't want Hugh to be
afraid alone. I hadn't told Hugh about the suicide before your
interview. Hugh wouldn't have really hurt anyone, maybe
himself: the restraints were the last way I could say, 'you must
just be.' It helped, perhaps, to life some of the pain, of knowing
he had been loved so much, and could do nothing to retrieve
his lost nephew. Maybe it was wrong. I thought it would help.
I thought if he were tied up he wouldn't blame himself for being,
you know, alive."
I nod, quick; polite-like, with a little smile.
I did my follow-up and got out well. Yes, Jerry was most
soon gone. I got back to work and found there just wasn't a
Times or the paper to which I
way to work up a story, for the
was billing my time. I logged the couple hours I spent on it to
"dead-end feature."
And at night I have dreamt of seeing a colored still shot of
that fat smiling kid and the dream goes from a photo to a video
or something because the photo starts talking and smiling. I
can't hear it but, I see it move and it tells me to not be afraid
because I am not alone.

CONGRATULATIONS,
RUDY
Michigan Democratic Gay & Lesbian Caucus Chair Rudy Serra
has been appointed to the Detroit Human Rights Commission by
Mayor Dennis Archer. Serra-the author of an article entitled,
"Sexual Orientation and Michigan Law," published in the
September 1997 edition of the Bar Journal- is already recognized
as an expert in Michigan municipal codes, civil rights and sexual
orientation issues.Because the laws which protect gay and lesbian
victims of violence and discrimination are principally local
measures, Sera's appointment puts him in a position to assure
enforcement of the Detroit Omnibus Human Rights Ordinance
and also to provide expertise based upon his personal knowledge
to other governmental entities in Michigan.
From the Michigan Democratic Party Web Page, 9-14-97

A PLACEFORYou
By Rev. Linda L. Wilson
The last few years of my life have been involved, in part, in
healing from some deep hurts. These years have also been spent
growing and stretching my life in fresh pursuits. I have found new
meaning to my faith, by friendships and to my reason for being
here on planet earth! During the years of marriage and service to
God and my church, there was always the issue of unanswered
questions about my sexual identity. I could not give voice to these
questions because I was in a fundamentalist context where such
questions were not asked. I always enjoyed exploring new
concepts and truths, but in that context, exploration was not an
option either unless all conclusions came out the same as they
always had.
As many gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people
(glbt) in a strict religious setting find out, there is not place for us to
worship, praise God, and rejoice in the way we have been made.
For most Christians in this setting, true love and commitment to
God is antithetical to being a "practicing glbt." You cannot be both
they say. As a result, the glbt people I have talked to have either
rejected the Church as a viable place of worship and spiritual
growth, or they reject the concept of God as God has always been
represented to them, or both. I found that it was essential for my
own sanity, to discover why this was so, since I, myself, am both
a lesbian and a Christian who takes my faith seriously.
One of the "fresh pursuits" for me was to engage in a study
from Scripture and history about gay/lesbian, bisexual,
transgender life. The results were most interesting. I have also
been doing much study on the concept of God and a better
representation than was always taught to me. The results are that
I have committed myself to provide a place where people of any
sexual orientation can come and worship and be accepted for
who they are. As part of this commitment, I was ordained to the

("R. Green" is a writer who lives in Traverse City)

NElWORKING
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APLACEFORYoucontinuednext page
VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

A PIACE FORYou continuedfrompreviouspage
ministry on August 16, 1997 by Bethel Christian Ministries, Inc.
from Grand Rapids, and have begun a new church called Journey
in Light Ministries. The purpose of Journey in Light Ministries is to
provide a place for spiritual growth for anyone who wants to
follow Jesus Christ, using various means to come to Truth for her/
his life. It is my hope that if you have not found a place to worship
where you feel accepted or comfortable, you will come and try out
Journey in Light Ministries. I encourage an inquiring mind to
question, search and come to meaningful Truth that satisfies your
spiritual needs. I believe that knowledge and application of truth
will bring about healing and wholeness which will ultimately lead
to living responsibly in freedom for gay/lesbian/bisexual/
transgendered and heterosexual people, all of whom are welcome
to be a part of this ministry.
Pastoral counseling for relationship, spiritual and other needs
is available to all people. It is my hope that this ministry will fill the
spiritual needs of some of my brothers and sisters in the gay and
lesbian community, and the community in general.
We had our first service in the Suttons Bay Library public
meeting room downstairs on October 5, 1997 and it was great!
We will be meeting the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month at the
same location at 10:30 am. The Suttons Bay Library is located at
415 Front Street, in Suttons Bay, Michigan (near the Suttons Bay
Marina). If you would like any further information please call me at
(616) 271-2529.
We welcome you to try our new ministry and find out if it will
meet your needs or resonate with your heart.

REFLECTIONS:
AN OUTSIDER
LOOKS
IN

Alan Williams
A year. My, how time flies.
It's been a year since I packed up some of my things and left my
parents'home in central Illinois, ostensiblyto help my brotherfor a month,
but really in searchof a fresh start.I was 28 yearsold, and despite going
away to college, I had returned home to go to graduate school and later
take a job in the area. I had beenliving on my own for a while, but I knew
that moving to TraverseCity was a far cry from living in an apartmentthat
was lessthan a half-hour's drive away from the house I grew up in. ft
meant leaving behind family, friends, and a life I had built for myself over
the years. For some people, such a move is the stuffof dreams.
Not me.
When I moved here, I had high hopes. I'd heard that TraverseCity
had a strong gay community, with resourcesthat were sadly lacking in
central Illinois. But when I got here, it seemed that TraverseCity was a
miniature Peoria,complete with a gay community that reminded me more
of a special club. And I didn't know the secrethandshake.
I'm glad to say that, in many respects,I was wrong.
It all started by chance, with a walk. I started talking to a fellow
pedestrian who happened to be wearing a shirt that said, in French,
"Nobody knows I'm gay." I must admit, if it hadn't been for the word
"GAY" in big letterson the shirt, I would probably still be walking aimlessly
around, wondering where the gay community is outside of the bars.
(Pleasedon't get me wrong: I think SideT raxx is a greatplace to go to have
fun, but when you're going alone and a bit shy to boot, making friends
can be a difficult proposition.)
My fellow pedestrianon that fatefulday told me where to find the local
newsletter,and gave me information about Common Voices (backthen, it
was still just called the Friends North Rap Group). I attended my first
meeting, and shortly thereafter came the holiday dinner, and my first
Christmasaway from home. Somehow,though, it didn't seemquite asbad
as I thought it would be.
I'm 29 now, and as I sit back and look over this pastyear, I think of
NETWORKING
45° NORTH
all the eventsand groupsthat existherein TraverseCity, and I seea mosaic
of social, supportive, and educational gatheringsthat weren't available to
IS Al.SOAVAILABLE
ATTHESE
SELECT
LOCAL
ESTABLISHMENTS:
me in my old home. I still have my concerns about our communityBorder's Books • The Bookie Joint • Horizon Books
apathy, self-segregation,and a certain lack of cohesion that I can't quite
identify-but for the most part, I count myself lucky. In central Illinois, I
lnterlochen Coffee House • JavaSite Coffee House
usually felt like an outsider in the gay community; in TraverseCity, I have
Ray's Coffee House • SideTraxx Nite Club
found my place. I have a new home, and I hope it remainsthat way for a
Out N About Women's Coffee House
long time to come.
Marge and Joanne's B&B

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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

PROFILE:
KIRK
MAllow
John Evans
One of the many people who
cooperated in the planning and execution
of the Friends North events this past year
was Kirk Mallow, who was born and
raised right here in River City. (I've not
done any research, but I believe we
transplants far outnumber the locals in
Friends North! Maybe, as we have more
of the young people in the organization
Kirk with a friend
this will change.)
(Why does everyone
choose such serious
One of five siblings three of whom
photos?)
were adopted, Kirk grew up in a big
farmhouse on Barney Road.
11
Not a working farm ... grew up playing in the neighbors barns,
helped them bale hay, take care of livestock, etc. I wouldn't have
traded that childhood for anything. It made me appreciate my family
- one of the single most i~portant things in my life - couldn't have
asked for better parents... very supportive."
This led right into a discussion of coming out. "I was 28 years
old, had just bought the house. I had met someone, and that person
moved in with me ... we started getting pretty serious... my parents
started asking questions... so that relationship was the reason why I
told my parents."
My mother took it quite well. My father didn't talk to me for two
weeks. And that was real difficult because my father and I are very,
very close."
It was right after Thanksgiving that Kirk told his parents. Then, on
December 18, the entire family was gathered before grandmother left
for Florida."
It was the first time the entire family had gotten together since I
came out. It took me two week s - I had told absolutely everybody in
the family ... I wanted them to hear it from me.
Everybody accepted it pretty well. .. the only thing remotely
negative was one uncle who said 'well, he can't be gay because he
cuts wood.' I blew his stereotype out of the water, because I hunt
and I fish ... "
December 18th is a day that I will never forget. This was probably
the most difficult thing that my father had to do. I arrived at the party
late... gave them time to mull over the recent news... we ate dinner,

Char P. Kirchner,

opened gifts and then the conversation kind of lulled and I could tell
that things were getting a little tense for everyone... what do we do ...
this is normally the time when Kirk starts in with his antics... I always
have some kind of story to liven things up. But, I just retired back into
the den, fixed myself a drink and went out onto the deck."
I must have been out there ten minutes by myself... it was snowing,
kind of chilly. My father came out on the deck... This was the first time
that I had even been in the same room with him since I told him that I
was gay. He told me 'Kirk I need to talk with you. I can't take this
anymore. I can't stand the thought of you not coming over and having
coffeewith me in the mornings. I can't standthe thought of you not going
for rides in the woods with me, or not being there at deer camp. I don't
understandthis. It's going to take some time to mull this over and digest
all this. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. Will you
work with me here and teach me what I need to know. "
"We both had a good cry that night. I think now we have a
stronger relationship than we ever had. We're still going out to deer
camp. We're still going up north every spring for steelhead."
I asked what reaction his mother has had over time.
11
My mother took about a year to accept everything. Now she
outs me to just about everybody. She was in the dentist's office a few
months ago. The dentist and the hygienist were talking back and forth
and making some derogatory remarks about gays and lesbians. My
mother took the stick out of her mouth and said 'What would you do
if you had a gay son or daughter?' And neither one of them knew
what to say. She said 'Well, I have a gay son and I'm very proud of
him and I don't appreciate what you're saying and I'm sure that he
wouldn't. And I'm really going to have to think about it if I'm going to
continue to be your patient.' And she hasn't been back."
I'm so proud of her. When she told me, tears welled up in my
eyes. Here's my parents going to bat for me again. They're
wonderful."
Long before he came out, Kirk had a relationship with a classmate.
11
1 had a boyfriend all through high school until fall of our senior year.
Up until that point we had talked of getting out of school and getting an
apartment together and how wonderful it would be. We spent every
Saturdaywith each other either at his house or my house.We were in
a conversation one night and I mentioned being gay. Up to that point
that word had never come out in any conversation we had. He looked
at me very puzzled and said 'Well, I'm not gay.' He came from a
religious background and was deathly afraid his parents would find
KIRKcontinuednext page

m

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-16-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

KIRKcontinuedfrompreviouspage

out. .. He was catching flak from his parents becausehe hadn't been
dating any girls - he really didn't have any interest in girls. We had
talked about that ... maybe we should hang out with girls because
someone is going to start to talk ... but that night we had a huge
argument and ended up going our separateways."
Two yearslater Kirk stood up with this young man at his wedding.
"When he turned to take the ring he looked me in the eye. That was
probably one of the most difficult thingsthat I've ever had to deal with.
It was a very confusing time of my life. It had not been a one-sided
relationship. If he could get married, maybe I'm not gay either."
During this time Kirk dated girls and finally met one to whom he
became engagedand Iived with for three years. But that fell apart and
Kirk finally decided he was not going to pretend any more.
"Those feelings didn't go away."
Through all of this and in spite of the emotional turmoil, Kirk was
gainfully employed at work he enjoyed. Right out of high school he
went to work for a fire safetycompany as a safetycoordinator. This
job took him all over the statesettingup safetyprogramsin universities,
schools, factories, even the state prison system. Among his
company's clients was TraverseCity Area Public Schools. After six or
so yearsof travelling from shoreto shoreand stateline to stateline, he
naturally turned to a familiar place near home.
"I had done safety work for the school systemso I knew the ins
and outs of the entire layout, and I was looking for a change... They
had some positions open. I applied. They called me and I was hired."
Kirk worked at Bertha Vos Elementaryfor several years before
being transferred in Januaryof this year to Norris ElementarySchool
where he is a custodian.
"I am the youngest in historyto havea lead shift custodial position
in the elementary school. I was thirty when I stepped into that
position."
Kirk thoroughly enjoys his work and the children love him.
"They've gotten me a nameplatefor my door that says'Mr Kirk'.
That's the name they gave me. They seemto know when Mr. Kirk is
having a down day and needsa hug."
Outside of his work and his activitieswith FriendsNorth, Kirk has
always done volunteer work with such organizations as Alzheimer's
Association, the March of Dimes, and volunteer work at school.
"I go to NMC and talk every term to the human sexuality class. I
always get the same comment: Kirk, you don't look gay... I enjoy
breaking stereotypes." Kirk is running for one of the positions open
on the Friends North Board next month.

WORDSANDMUSIC:WHAT'SNEWIN
CD'sANDTAPES
BOOKS,
MAGAZINES,
By Rick Gould
With the holidays upcoming, here are some suggestions from
our local book and music stores:
At The Bookie Joint, Shelley recommends: pride jewelry,
bumper stickers, pride T-shirts, and over 1,500 used books of gay
and lesbian interest. Bring in your books to trade and save
money.
From Borders, Aimee's Fall/Winter book picks:
Michael Nava, a consumate storyteller, try "How Town,"
$4.99 or "The Little Death" at $9.95. His newest work, due out
now is "The Burning Plain" at $20.65.
Mark Richard Zubro, whose mysteries keep you guessing
until the final pages, try "Rust on the Razor" at $10.95, "Another
Dead Teenager" at$ 9.95 or "Echo of Death" for $8.95.
Claire McNab, a great wit and character, stars in "Lessons in
Murder" at $10.95. McNab's newest' "Chain Letter" is due out
this month.
"Rita Will," the new biography by Rita Mae Brown, is $22.55.
P.S.: Good books, good coffee, great people ...sound like a
winning combination? Then you ought to stop by the Lesbian and
Gay Book Club at Borders Books & Music. We sit, talk about
books, share a few laughs, and generally have a great time in a
relaxed atmosphere. In November, we'll be reading "Entries From
a Hot Pink Notebook" by Todd D. Brown, which tells the sweet
and funny story of a 14 year old boy coming out, finding love,
and coping in a homophobic school setting. We average about a
dozen people at each meeting, but new faces keep things fun and
interesting. Even if you haven't read the book for the month,
please come by and join the discussion, and help pick the book
for the next month. The group meets on the last Monday of every
month at Borders' Cafe, Espresso,at 7:30 p.m. All book group
titles are 20% off.
At AB CD's, Norm gave us this list:
Andrea Bocelli's "Romanza." This disc has topped all the
charts in Europe for most of the year 1997. Andrea is a wonderful
Italian vocalist and his current disc has finally made a stateside
WORDS& MUSICcontinuednextpage

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157 East Front Street / Traverse City / 946-2112

NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-17-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

WORDS& MUSICcontinuedfrompreviouspage

appearance in September. Sung primarily in Italian the set includes
a wonderful duet with Sarah Brightman (Christine from
Phantom
of the Opera), a #1 hit in Europe, "Time to Say Goodbye."
Sarah Brightman - "Surrender - The Unexpected Songs." The
lastest Brightman effort is an import from Canada and is comprised
completely of Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes. Songs from Aspects
of Love, Song and Dance, Cats, JesusChrist Superstar and Sunset
Blvd,-Brightman
delivers.
Loreena McKennitt - "Book of Secrets." McKennitt's seventh
recording and supposedly her last. There is no new ground
covered with this recording but then again why mess around with
proven material?
McKennitt far and wide surpasses her
contemporaries with little studio production and overdubbing.
This is pure composition and delivery with incredible style.
"The Life" - original Broadway Cast Recording - the material
and subject matter seem slightly odd but the performances are
incredible. The plot revolves around the pimps and hookers of
1970s Time Square. Drama Desk Award Winner and Tony Award
nominations abound frorn this musical. Featured performers
range from Sam Harris (Tony nominee), Chuck Cooper (Tony
Award winner) and Pamela Isaacs. Unfortunately, the hottest
ticket on Broadway will see Sam Harris leave the company but the
performance will live on with the soundtrack recording.
At Horizon, Jennifer gave us these selections:
"Walt Whitman: A Gay Life," by Gary Schmidgall, $32.95.
Drawing from Whitman's poetry, private journals and letters, the
author explores Whitman's life as an artist and man.
"The Girls Next Door," by Lindsey Van Gelder and Pamela
Robin Bandt, $13.00. This is a cross-country trip covering the
United States and filled with short stories on lesbian life from all
the states.
"Tuesdays with Morrie," by Mitch Alborn, $19.95. This is the
true story about life's lessonsgiven to us by an elderly dying man.
Alborn, the Detroit Free Press columnist gives us an intimate
account of his friendship with his former teacher.
"Am I Blue?," by Marion Bauer, $5.95. Original short stories
by a variety of famous authors. The stories honestly portray the
subject of growing up gay or lesbian.
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us the following:
"The Accidental Activist," by Candace Gingrich, $12.00.
Sister of Newt's memoir is now out in paper.
"The Farewell Symphony," by Edmund White, $25.00. The
long-awaited final book of the literary trilogy is complete. This is
the follow-up to "A Boy's Own Story" and "The Beautiful Room
Is Empty."
"The Lavender Screen, Revised and Updated," by Boze
Hadleigh, $19.95. This has more films covered in the update to
this fun and irnforrnative book.
"Marcus Schenkenberg: New Rules," by Marcus S., $27.50.
That European supermodel takes an in-depth look at the hardships
of modelling. Pictures? You bet! Plus, an introduction by Gianni
Versace.
Remember, these stores appreciate your comments and business.
NElWORKING
45°NORTH

LOOKING
OTHERWAYHURTSUsALL
reprinted w/permission of
Loraine Anderson, Regional Editor, Traverse City Record-Eagle

I saw my first Queer Reserve Note-a $3 bill with President
Clinton in the oval-at a local gun and key shop about four years ago
during the height of the gay military ban debate.
I said nothing, but I did write a short story. In the story, a lesbian
went to the shop to have a key made and saw the $3 bill. She felt
exhausted. This was what she hated about being out. It was never
over.
Right thought, right action, shetold herselfbefore telling the shop
owner how the $3 bill affected her. Shedidn't usethe word offensive.
It went deeper than that. The $3 bill was hurtful, shesaid. It hurt them
both, but mostly him becauseof his intention. He scoffed.
I saw my second $3 bill last winter at a downtown restaurant.It
was taped to the cash register.I askedthe owner if I could have a word
with him.
"You're what?" he asked when I told him I was a lesbian and that
I found his $3 bill hurtful. He told me I was too sensitive.Neither of us
were angry, nor were we comfortable I left, shaking from fear I'd been
holding off. It had taken me all of my adult life and a short story to get
to that conversation.
I saw my third $3 bill just last month at an area shoe shop. I felt
exhausted.I knew this would mean another round of anguishand soul
searching.
Say something. It's the right thing to do.

Don't say anything. It won't change anything.
Probably not, but you' re not trying to change anyone. You' re just
not letting things like this change you.
Peace, harmony, right thought, right action.

As I drove back to work from the shoe shop, I thought about the
$ 3 bills and the freedom people have to putthem on their wall. I thought
about my freedom to say something about them. I thought about
Disney and the courage it shows by including sexual orientation in its
non-discrimination policies and by giving benefitsto partnersof its gay
and lesbian employees. I thought about the importance of the Ellen
coming-out episode and gay pride events.
I have often likened growing up in a homophobic culture to
growing up in an abusive home where you are battered daily
psychologically and mentally to the point that you don't recognize the
abuse. It keepsyou quiet and isolatedfrom other people like yourself.
Becauseof your isolation, you start believing the hateful things people
say. You are filled with self-loathing.
And you never speak up and neither does anyone else. In the
end, maybe you don't even see it.
This is how oppression blinds and silences.It is in this fearful quiet
that prejudice and stereotypesfesterunchecked, settinga societal tone
that makes people think they can hit "a nigger," and a "faggot'' and get
away with it.
The only antidote is seeing and naming it.
That's why I have to say something about the $3 bills.
They hurt their targets, the people who put them up and our
community. And they won't come down until a lot of straight people
say something.
And I have to wonder if anyone did. Or do we quietly accept $3
bills hanging on walls and cash registersin TraverseCity?
-18-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

NIH STUDYSEEKS
GENETIC
CLUES
TOA
COMPLEX
HUMANBEHAVIOR;
GAY
BROTHER
PAIRSSTILLNEEDED
To talk about "THE gay gene" is misleading, say Dr. Elliot S.
Gershon and his colleagues, researchers at the National Institutes
of Health who are conducting a new genetic study. Unlike a few
diseases for which a single-gene cause has been found, normal
human diversity can't be explained so easily. Instead, Dr. Gershon
says, "like many other complex human behaviors, we expect
multiple genes to be involved in sexual orientation ... a single gene in
a complex trait changes the probability of showing the trait by only
a small amount," interacting in still-unknown ways with other genes
and environmental factors.
Because of this complexity, Dr. Gershon and his group do not
expect their work to have adverse consequences for gay people.
The genes involved may have other effects as well, and attempts to
change or select for one would have little meaning. The group
believes their study "will have a net positive effect, giving us a better
understanding of sexuality and increased acceptance of its
variations.
Designed to locate more than one gene if possible, the NIH
study brings the group's working assumption into the lab. Because
no one knows yet exactly what function each gene in the mix may
have, researchersfirst look for genetic "markers"-tiny sections of
DNA that act as signposts at known locations among the
chromosomes-that appear consistently in a family together with
the trait being studied. When one is found, it indicates a "linkage,"
pointing to a small region of DNA on one of the 23 pairs of
chromosomes a person carries. Further work in that region may
uncover one or more genes actually affecting the trait of interest,
but it's a laborious process that may take years.
The first report of a linkage, like the one found by Dr. Dean
Hamer and colleagues at NIH, can be big news, leading people to
believe that "the gene has been discovered." For scientists it's big
news for a different reason: "Now, maybe we know one good place
to look." Good scientific practice is to verify the linkage finding
before committing precious lab resources to the follow-up work.
The first goal of the new NIH study is to attempt that verification
for the Hamer finding, by doing an independent test of replication.
Preliminary analysis has begun, using DNA from the first 50
participating families.
For the goal of finding additional linkages, at least 50 more
families are still needed to complete the study. Eligible families will
have at least two gay brothers or non-identical gay male twins
participating, plus their parents if available. Participants, who can be
located anywhere in the U.S., will answer a short confidential mailin questionnaire and give a blood sample locally at no cost to them,
for prepaid shipping to NIH. Interested persons are invited to
contact Dr. Gershon's group for more information, by phone at
301-496-8977 (collect calls accepted) or e-mail at gaz@cu.nih.gov
Information on the Web: http://world.std.com/~neurogen/
gstudy.html

GENERATION
GAP
Japiya Burns

There seemsto be a large generation gap between younger gays
ad lesbians and older gays and lesbians. And while this same
generation gap may occur in "straight" society, I believe it can be
particularly harmful within our community. Though I am looking at
the gay community through young, possibly naive eyes I feel as
though this is something that should be changed.
It is widely recognized that adolescence is a difficult time in
people's lives, particularly so for gays and lesbians. While straight
people often have people to turn to, such asfriends, gay youth often
find themselves isolated and lonely, leading to depression, and even
suicide. Straight people benefit from a society which endorses their
sexuality, instead of punishing them for it. They are also socialized
by friends, family, and a society which generally makes them feel
belonged, something gay youth is often denied.
The structure of our community seemsto prohibit the interaction
between older gays and younger gays, which could prove to be
harmful. Gay bars and other social institutions often prohibit people
under 21 from entering. This createsa great divide, and denies young
gays an opportunity to socialize, and be socialized into the gay
community. Gay youth groups, though very positive, often have the
same flaws. They often create a safe haven, at the cost of shutting
out the knowledge and wisdom an older generation has to offer.
By ghettoizing gay youth from the restof the community, they are
missing out on these valuable resources.Positive interaction between
gay kids and older gay men and lesbianscan provide an exchange of
knowledge not provided by a heterosexistworld. Most parentsdon't
teach their children about the ways of the "gay'' world, about dating,
sex, dealing with prejudice, or coming out. Who better to learn from
than those who have already gone through it? Why waste this body
of knowledge and experience?During a very trying period in their lives,
gay children need role models now more than ever.
While suggesting that gay men and lesbians become more
involved with gay youth, Im not advocating pedophilia. In fact, I am
suggesting just the opposite: that gay men and lesbians behave
responsibly. Many of us have experienced difficult times growing up
because of our sexuality, though it seems as if the gay community
has undergone "mass amnesia" and has somewhat abandoned the
gay youth of today. While some efforts are being made, I feel as
though a more hands-on approach would be beneficial. Gay youth
needs to see gay adults as positive members of the community,
people with facesand personalities and lives, not as sexual predators
or as the social deviants society paints us as.
unwound
by Japiya Burns

their bodies are not tightly intertwined now
they're unwound like worn-out tops
spun a lot like laughing bottles
shyly kissing in the end
Uapiya is a college student and lives in Traverse City)

NfIWORKING4S'NORTH

-19-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

PORTUGAL
UPDATE
1997 will go down in Portuguese history as
the year of the gay and lesbian awakening. During
the current year, several major events have
irreversibly changed the Portuguese lesbian and
gay community and given it the largest visibility
ever. During 1996 the first gay and lesbian
organization
became official,
and started
immediately working with the community.
In mid 1996 our organization started political
lobbying in order to equalize the age of consent
between homosexual and heterosexual sex and
to push for a partnership law that would recognize
the rights of homosexual couples.
In January 1997, while the country's first
(national) gay and lesbian newspaper celebrated
it's first birthday, the government approved the
new penal code contemplating the same age of
consent between homo- and heterosexual sex (16
y.o.). On May 4th 1997, roughly 400 people
marched
down
Lisbon's
Liberty
Avenue
remembering those lost to AIDS in the "First AIDS
Candlelight Memorial and March". In early June,
after more than a year of lobbying and a national
campaign directed at the Prime-Minister, the
government party announces a domestic
partnership bill to recognizes the rights of
homosexual
couples
(excluding
adoption),
sparking a national debate over the issue. The
voting on the bill, for political reasons, was
postponed till January 1998. Later, on June the
28th, in Lisbon again, Portugal's first Pride Festival
was held successfully attracting an attendance of
close to 3000 people. In August, the first AIDS
awareness and prevention leaflets targeting the
gay and lesbian community in Portugal, were
published by our organization with the financial
aid of the Health Ministry.
Currently,
from
September
13th
to
September 28th, Europe's largest Gay and Lesbian
Film Festival (in terms of the number of films
shown - 66 different films), the "Lisbon's First Gay

FRIENDS

NORTH,

INC.,

and Lesbian Film Festival", is attracting large
crowds to theaters, selling-out almost all the
screenings in this 15-day festival. The festival is
being staged in three different theaters across
the city and has the patronage of the Lisbon
Mayor. By the end of the film fest, we predict
that approximately 5000 people will have
attended the event.
Later this year, on October the 20th,
Portugal's first Gay and Lesbian Community
Center will open to the public in Lisbon's city
center. The community center will have oneon-one (as well as telephone) legal, medical and
psychological support and counselling; it will be
equipped with a coffee-shop, a documentation
center, a library, an internet access point and a
small bookstore. The large space where the
community center will be functioning was given
to our organization by the City Council and a
grand opening with the Mayor's presence is
already confirmed.
These happenings were unthinkable in
Portugal in 1995, when the gay and lesbian
community were at a total void. Just two years
ago there were no gay and/or lesbi,an
organizations and the concept of community
was something we were used to witnessing in
other developed countries. The radical and
shear speed with which the homosexual
movement has developed over the past 24
months even manages to surprise us. Gay
owned and gay-friendly businesses are starting
to pop up at a steady rate, increasing the overall
quality of life of the community. The Portuguese
miracle seems to be well on its way ... - - If you
have any questions, please don't hesitate to
send us an e-mail.
Gofialo Dumas Diniz
Chairmain of" Association ILGA-Portugal"
Ap. 21281-1131 Lisboa Codex - Portugal
www. i lga-portugal .org
i lga-portugal@ilga.org

BOOK
Margaret Dodd 1997-2001
Traverse City Commission

MARK
her on your ballot
November 4th

:\,I.-\It<;.-\RET

DODD

CITYCOMMISSIONER

''The VOICE for Chonge''
* Informed

* Experienced
* Independent
*

Intelligent

* Straightforward

Facing the issues of:
*

Human Rights

* Growth and Traffic

Equitable Taxation
Neighborhoods
* The Environment
*
*

"I will work to keep our
small town atmosphere while
moving ahead into the next
century."
Please phone me:

947-6913
Paid for by the Committee to Elect Margaret Dodd

P.O. Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49685-0562

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NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-20-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

SAME-SEX
UNIONCOMING
Deb Price

From its perch atop Hawaii's judicial branch, the state's
farsighted Supreme Court can, no doubt, see just how close
same-sex marriage is to becoming a reality.
That legal miracle is probably only months away. It's
absolutely critical that it occur before November 1998, when
Hawaii's voters will be asked whether to amend their
constitution to let lawmakers block same-sex marriage.
Dan Foley, attorney for the three same-sex couples suing
for marriage licenses, expects the Hawaii Supreme Court to
announce soon whether it will hold oral arguments. "Once we
get (a court) order, we can expect a (final) decision within a
number of months," Foley predicts. "We're just
waiting.
"I don't think there's any question - when the decision
comes down what it will be," Foley adds with well-placed
confidence. "Everybody
knows there's really nothing to
decide because the state abysmally failed to meet its burden."
In a preliminary ruling, the Hawaii Supreme Court declared
in 1993 that refusing to grant marriage licenses to same-sex
couples is sex discrimination, which Hawaii's constitution
prohibits. The court's conclusion rested on a simple fact. No
one, regardless of sexual orientation, is allowed to marry
someone of the same sex.
A three-member majority of Hawaii's top court sent the
case back to a lower court, demanding the state prove a
"compelling" reason for the discrimination.
The state's
attempts have failed miserably. As a result, Judge Kevin Chang
ruled in favor of same-sex marriage last December, and
the
case is now back before the Hawaii Supreme Court.
After flailing about trying to concoct a believable
"compelling" reason, the state has switched its chief argument.
Gone almost entirely is the "children would suffer" claim,
which the state's own witnesses demolished
during an
embarrassing two-week trial a year ago. The state has turned
to mainland hired guns for legal help. But, having already had
all its arguments shot down, the state has been reduced to
begging the Hawaii Supreme Court to say its ruling of "sex
discrimination" was wrong in the first place.

That's a sign of total desperation because all three justices
who gave us that decision are still on the court.' And three
votes are all we need on the five-member court to legalize samesex marriage.
The historic 1993 decision was written by Justice Steven
Levinson. It was supported by Ronald Moon, now chief
justice, and Paula Nakayama. A more recent appointee, Justice
Mario Ramil, is an unknown on gay issues but is considered a
pro-consumer, pro-worker, progressive Democrat. Chief
Justice Moon will appoint someone to cast the fifth vote.
(Justice Robert Klein won't participate because he heard the
case as a lower court judge.)
If the court doesn't rule soon, the November 1998 vote
on amending the constitution could be devastating.
Polls show most Hawaii voters oppose same-sex marriage
but are evenly split over amending the constitution. But if gay
couples start legally marrying before the election, voters will
actually face a very different issue: Should citizens lose rights
they already have? That would make it much more likely that
same-sex marriage would win not only in the courts but also at
the ballot box.
In July, the Hawaii Supreme Court rejected the state's plea
for it to intentionally delay its ruling until after the November
1998 vote. It's a positive sign that the court rebuffed the
state's insulting suggestion that, instead of protecting rights, it
should wait to see if those rights are amended out of existence.
Meanwhile, two Hawaii federal cases bear watching. The
first questions
whether the state's new "reciprocal
beneficiaries" law - giving many marriage-like benefits to
partners who can't legally marry- covers private employers'
health plans. The other will decide whether Hawaii must vote
again on whether to hold a constitutional convention, a
potential nightmare.
Marriage can be the union of a man and woman, a man and
man or a woman and woman. That's already the emotional
reality. Count on the Hawaii Supreme Court to make it a legal
reality as well.
( reprinted w/permission of the DETROIT NEWS
September B, 7997, and Deb Price)

AL. Mitchell & Associates
MEMBERS OF BAY BUSINESS RESOURCE GROUP

ANDREW L. MITCHELL
Accredited Business Accountant
Your Home

803-B South Garfield Ave.
Traverse City, Ml 49686
NfIWORKING
45'NORTH

Phone (616) 947-1492
Fax (616) 941-9088

JACQUIE

Food

Spirits

Parties

CATERS!

834 Indian Trail TraverseCity. Ml 40686 phone616,941,8558 fax 616,947,1187

-21-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

BEARS

MOREON CHRYSLER
Hello,
Today (mid August, 1997) I was confronted with more blatant
lies from Chrysler management. After anti-gay harassment/
discrimination I have been suffering climaxed on May 7, 1997; I
have been on a medical from May 8 to last Friday. Today was my
first day back to work. For months (since February) Chrysler has
been touting to the press that they added the words "sexual
orientation" to the "Standards of Conduct" posted in every
facility. The standards were supposedly revised January 2, 1997.
However, today once again I looked at the standards posted in
my work place and only the old copy can be found. The
standards are kept in a locked glass enclosure so they cannot
claim that they were removed.
Every person I have ever spoken with at Chrysler has stated
that not one "new" standard has been posted or can be found on
the factory floor as they should be. When today I asked Diversity
Director Monica Emerson why they have not been posted after
OVER SEVEN MONTHS, she stated that the "appropriate"
persons had been notified to post the standards and she assured
me that the new standards were posted everywhere that they
should be. For Chrysler to tell "In The Life" national TV program,
"The New Yorker" and other media that they have a "new"
"Standards of Conduct" posted when it is not true is completely
inexcusable.
No wonder Chrysler is being sued by the National
Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) and
also the State of California for deception.
In addition, two certified letters I sent to Monica Emerson
and also my immediate supervisor via certified mail on May 22,
1997 have never been answered in any way. The letters
detailed how I was being treated in the weeks before my
medical. The treatment including being yelled/swore at by coworkers for NOT doing a job in an unsafe manner, confronted
in a threatening manner by a co-worker hovering (standing)
over me as I was on my hands and knees trying to do a job and
also having a work partner refusing to help as I tried to plan the
best way to accomplish a task we were given.
If there are any other Chrysler employees who have not
been able to find the new standards posted anywhere (just as
the rest of us), please let Monica Emerson know at: 248-5122160 or by fax at: 248-512-2151. Also anyone can call this
number to inquire as to why they tout the new standards to
the media when the issue of discrimination arises but they
refuse to post them on the factory floor.
To put it bluntly, nothing has changed at Chrysler
Corporation. The crumbs they have tried to show as positive
steps have all been shrouded in lies and deception. I felt that
our community has a right to be aware of this.
Thank you for your time and consideration.

Gerald Nye, Secretary
North West Michigan Bears

The Wellness Network-Grand
Traverse is this years
receipient of funds raised at North West Michigan Bears first
annual "Bears in the Dunes" charity run. The event was held
September 12th-14th at the Douglas Dunes Resort in Douglas,
Michigan.
Richard Barr was the winner of the 50/50 drawing and
donated his winnings to the Wellness Network.
Tony Ramirez was chosen as "Mr. North West Michigan
Bear" by an independent panel of judges and will represent our
organizatino for the next year.
North West Michigan Bears is a gay mens charitible/social
group which meets at least once a month in the Traverse City/
Cadillac/Petoskey area. For more information about North
West Michigan Bears or "Bears in the Dunes-2" write us at
P.O. Box 283 Northport, Ml 49670 or call 616-386-5203
evenings.

Sincerely,
Ron G. Woods 810-545-7699
MichRook@aol .com
NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-22-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
S • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Prop<crty of the Center

Univili1[111111
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M 001 111 476
She's not the only one I heard from with a similar reaction to
Gay Day at Disney World.
An o·ld college friend sent an e-mail confessing that her
liberalism was tested when she found herself trying to explain to
her 4-year-old son why the two men in front of them in line for a
Dumbo ride were kissing.
"Well, um, you see, um ... Uhhh ... "
Maybe the best answer would be simply to tell the truth"They love each other" -and leave it at that.
I'm with Mason and my old college friend on this: A children's
park is not the place to be advertising your sexuality, gay, straight
or anything in between.
The flap over Disney Gay Day is about something a lot more
basic than homosexual rights or those much-trumpeted family
values.
It's about appropriate behavior in a public place.
It's about common courtesy.
As Mason asked: "Whatever happened to manners?"

COURTESY
IS REALISSUEATDISNEY'S
GAYDAY
John Grogan
Reprinted w/permission from the author
and Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel 8/31/97

Donielle Mason does not consider herself particularly
prudish. And, while she agrees with the Bible on homosexuality,
she has always taken a "live and let live" attitude.
So why has the 22-year-old law student from Fort Lauderdale
joined the Southern Baptists' boycott of Walt Disney?
It has something to do with the man on the leash.
Mason went to Disney World with a group of friends on the
first weekend of June 1996. What she did not know was that her
trip fell on the same day that thousands of homosexuals were
arriving at Disney World for so-called "Gay Day."
Her first hint came on the shuttle bus to the Magic Kingdom
when she noticed men sitting on each others laps and holding
hands. No big deal.
Once inside the gates, however, the displays became more
brazen, she said.
"They had their hands all over each other. Touching, really
touching, in front of children. They were goosing each other and
French kissing. And just saying things to each other within
everyone's earshot that were just gross."
Then she saw one man leading another man, slave style, by a
leash.
That was when Mason's mild discomfort turned to anger.
"I have homosexual friends," she said. "It's not like the
homosexuality itself was shocking to me. It's how crude they were
being. And just so bold.
"It would have been equally disgusting to me if it was a man
and a woman doing the same thing."
Deception by Disney?

Not everyone was acting out. "It was about half and half." she
said.
"There were a lot of people who were just there to have fun,
but there was an overwhelming number displaying their
homosexuality in every way they could."
As a college undergraduate, Mason was a music major and
theater minor and knew many openly gay people.
"But this Disney experience was different," she said. "These
were fanatical gays with an agenda. These were not 'live and let
live' people.
Disney insists it does not organize or promote Gay Day. But
Mason thinks the company is being disingenuous.
"When a corporation says, 'We are for children,' and caters
to children, and then seems to have these secret agendas, that's
deceptive in my opinion."
So Mason, a practicing Christian (but not a Southern Baptist)
who was home-schooled as a child, decided to join the boycott.
"They [Disney) are making a statement to me, and I want to
make my statement, as small as it may be, right back to them," she
said.
NE1WORKING
4S°NORTH

Always looking for comments from our readers - Do
you find this article homophobic?
- Is this view point
valid? - Should space be reserved for "opposing views"
of the gay community in the pages of this newsletter? What's your opinion. Let us know.

FriendsNorth,Inc.,
P.O.Box562
TraverseCity,MI49685-0562
WORLDAIDSDAY continuedfrom page 1

of our solidarity, hope for the future, memory of the past, and
to inspire increased awareness of the prevention of HIV/AIDS.
This year we walk for all those children locally and
internationally - who have become infected with AIDS, and
for those who, through better education, and public
awareness, can be prevented from being infected.
Around the world, we commit ourselves to a better
understanding of the magnitude and diversity of the impact of
HIV/AIDS on children, their families and their communities. The
world community must work for a stronger commitment,
improved policies and increased action for preventing infection
and minimizing the epidemic's impact on children, their families
and their communities, and we seek increased and improved
access to quality education and information on the prevention
and care of children with HIV/AIDS. We also seek greater
understanding of children's rights, human rights and HIV/AIDS.
Please come to this important celebration - for yourself,
for the children, for the future. Your presence illustrates a
commitment to our community, and especially to our children.
Standing together, joined with communities around the world,
we can give hope to children in a world with AIDS.
(Stacie Fine is the Rabbi of Congregation
Ahavat Shalom of Traverse City.)

-23-

VOLUME
11 •ISSUES• NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

IE

0

u

JR

cc

JE

LOCALSPIRITUAL:

STATEANDNATIONAL
HOTLINES

Rev.GeraldineColvin& Rev.DavidFlorence
616-932-9587
800-347-HATE UnityChurch,3600FiveMile,TraverseCity ...........
800-872-AIDS Rev.EmmyLouBelcher
Fellowship
of GrandTraverse
800-347-TEEN UnitarianUniversalist
6726CenterRd.,TraverseCity-Home:938-9078... Office:947-3117
Rev.NancyHayward,
Circleof theSacredEarth.........
616-223-7999
STATEWIDE
SERVICES
Rev.
Linda
L.
Wilson,
Journey
In
Light
Ministries
.........
616-271-2529
SOCIALI POLITICAL
I MEDIA
TheNetwork:LesbianandGayCommunity
Networkof W. Michigan
LOCALCOUNSELING:
909CherrySt.S.E.,GrandRapids,Ml 49506 .........
616-458-3511 ThirdLevelCrisisIntervention,
.......................
616-922-4800
LavenderMorning
1022E. FrontSt.,TC,Ml 49686................
and800-442-7315
P.O.Box50729,Kalamazoo,
Ml 49005 ..............
616-685-6061 Women'sResource
Center..........................
616-941-1210
Kalamazoo
Resource
Center
RodgerLandvoy,PHD .............................
616-929-1711
P.O.Box1532,Kalamazoo,
Ml 49005 ...............
616-345-7878 SusanBreuerPHO(Frankfort/TraverseCity) ...........
616-352-4261
MargoMillion,ACSW ..............................
616-947-0511
Affirmations
Lesbian/Gay
Community
Center
DavidBlisk(MapleCity) ............................
616-228-5105
Suite110,195W. NineMileRd.
616-947-8842
Ferndale,Ml 48220..............................
810-398-7105 JoannaT. Lauber,MA,OTR,CHt .....................
Barbara
Jones
Smith,
PHO
..........................
616-947-1444
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations{lndex.htme
ElizabethMost,MSW,ACSW(Petoskey)...............
616-439-0656
LansingAssociation
of HumanRights
WilliamD. Gould,MA(Gladwin)......................
517-426-2351
P.O.Box18062,Lansing,Ml 48826.................
517-332-3200 DavidRushlow,
ACSW,MunsonMedicalCenter.........
616-935-6385
e-mail ...................................
lahr@macatawa.org BayAreaCounseling
(Petoskey/Harbor
Springs)
LesbianConnection
MargaloBley,MSW,ACSW .......................
616-348-3616
P.O.Box811,EastLansing,Ml 48826...............
517-371-5257 DanielC. Doran,PHO,CSW ........................
906-635-9263
TriangleFoundation
(Lesbian/Gay
Foundation
of Michigan)
LoisMartindale,
Ph.D.,Benzonia.....................
616-882-5888
abusereferralagency)
19641W.SevenMileRd.,Detroit48219 .............
313-537-3323 CDRS(afreesubstance
929-1315
or 800-686-0749
.........................................
Fax:313-537-3379 808-AS. Garfield,TraverseCity ..........
email .......................................
trijeffm@aol.com
LOCALSERVICE/SOCIAL/POLITICAL
BetweenTheLines(newspaper/monthly}
...............
810-615-7003 FriendsNorth(information
line) ......................
616-946-1804
33528EightMile,Ste.185A3,Livonia,Ml 48152 ... FAX810-615-7018 Common
Voices- F/NRapGroup ....................
Ed- 947-4697
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
...........................................
Tom- 275-6127
TheThirdCoast(magazine/monthly)
..................
616-451-4903 WindfireGay& LesbianYouthSupportGroup-1322Hurd,SE,GrandRapids49506 ............
FAX616-451-0915 CallThirdLevelfor location& time .... 616-922-4800
or 800-442-7315
e-mail ...................................
lllrdCoast@aol.com SideTraxxNiteClub,520FranklinSt.offof 8thSt. ....... 616-935-1666
TraverseCityHumanRightsCommission,
400Boardman. 616-922-4700
MichiganPride,Inc.(Statewide
PrideMarchorganization)
Gay
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
P.O.Box16191,Lansing,Ml 48901.................
517-371-8466
at Boardman,
TC .... John616-922-0746
e-mail .......................
MiciganPridelnc@unforgetable.comGraceChurch,Washington
..........................................
jdevans@gtii.com
........................................
Hilda616-938-1294
NATIONAL
SERVICE
I SOCIALI POLITICAL P-FLAG,TraverseCity,POB1705,Acme,Ml 49610. Cindy616-271-5045
P-FLAG:ParentsandFriendsof Lesbians
andGays
GLSEN(Gay/Lesbian/Straight
Education
Network)
101214thSt. NW,Ste.700,Washington,
DC20005.... 202-638-4200
POBox9, Traverse,Ml 49685 .....................
616-943-5050
GLAAD:Gay/Lesbian
AllianceAgainstDefamation
NOW(NationalOrganization
forWomen)GailTrill ....... 616-938-1333
80VarickSt.,#3E,NewYork,NY10013 .............
212-807-1700
LOCALHIV/AIDSHEALTH
COUNSELING:
.........................................
Fax:212-807-1806
WellnessNetworks,
GTA,Inc., ...............
616-947-1110
email .....................................
glaadnatl@aol.com HIV/AIDS
P.0. Box1632,TraverseCity,MI49685 . . . . . . . . . . . 1-800-494-1160
NationalGayandLesbianTaskForce .................
202-332-6483
BusinessOffice .................................
616-933-0279
232017thSt.,NW,Washington,
DC20009 ....... Fax:202-332-0207 HIV/AIDS
WellnessNetworks- HIVSupportGroupand
LambdaLegalDefenseandEducation
Fund ....... 212-809-8585
x 205
FamilyandSignificant
OtherSupportGroup ..........
616-947-111
O
120WallSt.,NY,NY10005 ...................
Fax:212-890-0055 ThomasJuddCareCenter,1211W FrontSt.,TraverseCity,
ACLULesbian/Gay
RightsProject
MaryDillinger,RN,ClinicalNurseSpecialist..........
616-935-8140
1370MissionSt.,SanFrancisco,
CA94130...........
415-621-0674 DavidRushlow,
ACSWSocialWorker ...............
616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S.
(HIV/AIDS
Support:Petoskey)............
1-800-248-6777
HRC:HumanRightsCampaign
(NationalComingOutDay)
HealthClinic............................
616-929-4448
101214thSt. NS#607,Washington,
DC20005 ....... 202-628-4160 Community
(anonymous
counseling/testing;
same-day
resultsnofee)
.........................................
Fax:202-347-5323
616-929-1844
e-mail .....................................
www@hrcusa.org NorthernMichiganPlannedParenthood................
(anonymous
counseling
&
testing)
GayandLesbianVictoryFund,PoliticalActionCommittee
GrandTraverseCountyHealthDepartment.............
616-922-4831
101214thSt.NW#707,Washington,
DC20005 ....... 202-842-7679
(anonymous
HIVTestingCenter)
GLSEN,GayLesbianStraightEducation
Network........ 212-727-0135 EmmetCountyHealthDepartment
(Petoskey)...........
616-347-6014
121West27 StreetSuite804,NY,NY10001 .... Fax:212-727-0-254 AlsocalltheDistrictHealthDepartment
in yourarea
Department
of JusticeHotline(forreporting
HateCrimesagainstgaysandlesbians).............
Michigan
WellnessNetworks........................
Gay/Lesbian
NationalYouthHotline..................

-24-



r.-operty of the Ce:.• l':'.r
THE NEWSLETTER
OF FRIENDSNORTH,
INC.,

N

an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgendered

w

E

K

VOLUME

WorldAIDSDay
Rabbi Stacie Fine

On December 1, communItIes around the world will
commemorate the tenth annual World AIDS Day. This year's
theme is "Give Children Hope in a World with AIDS" and
draws attention to the fact that almost half a million children
under the age of 15 become infected with HIV annually world
wide. It is a commemoration that calls on us to remember those
who have died, to recognize the needs of those infected, to
honor those who have dedicated their lives to education
prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS, and to, as activist
Mother Jones says, "fight like hell for the living".
Here in Northern Michigan we will gather at Central United
Methodist Church at 7:00 PM for a memorial and
commemoration marked with music, meditation and inspiration.
Importantly, our local celebration aims to include not only the
multi-faith religious community; our aim is to create a
celebration truly inclusive of everyone one the community.
Through this we affirm that HIV/AIDS affects everyone in our
community - directly or indirectly, all our lives have all been
touched by this disease.
Following the ceremony, we will walk in a candlelight vigil
from Central United Methodist to the Opera House, as a mark
WORLDAIDSDAY

continuedpage 23

THEEMPLOYMENT
NONDISCRIMINATION
ACT,(ENDA)
... is in committee now. It will probably soon go to the full
Senate for a vote. Last year it missed passageby one vote.
Senator Levin is a co-sponsor, so he should be thanked
for doing so. SenatorAbraham has taken no position, so far as
is known. He needs to be contacted to urge him to support
ENDA.
SEN.CARL LEVIN: 202-224-6221 ( senator@levin.senate.gov)
SEN. SPENCERABRAHAM : 202-224-4822
(michigan@abraham.senate.gov)==

11

•

ISSUE 5

•

and their friends.

N

NOVEMBER •

DECEMBER •

G

1~

BOARD
POSITIONS
OPEN
IT'SNOTTOOLATE!!
There is still time to become
a candidate for election to the
Friends North Board of Directors.
Put your ideas to work !
Satisfy your need to get more involved !!
Please contact Brenda Bartz at 946-2708
or Sue Schwartz at 946-3032
prior to November 30, 1997
New Board Members
will be Elected at the
Annual Membership Meeting
December 2, 1997
Unitarian Universalist Church
6726 Center Road, TC

"THE
EARLY
WORM
CATCHES
THE
BIRD"
...
So call now and reserveyour "bird" (or portion thereof), i.e.,
don't miss the:

"Friends North Thanksgiving Potluck"
Sunday November 23, 1997
4 p.m. to???
Grace Episcopal Church
"Real" turkey and soft drinks will be provided. P lease bring a
dish to pass. Those who R.S.V.P. by calling Matt or Vic on 616
223-7977 will not have to do dishes!!!

Michigan'sEthnicIntimidationAct.
Representative
McManustestifies
againstgaysand lesbians.
SeePage7

Richard Tuxbury

FriendsNorth,Inc.,P.O.Box562,TraverseCity,MI49685-0562(616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive FIN
information.)
FRIENDS
NORTH
is an organizationof lesbians,gaymen,bi-sexualsand
their friendsfrom northwesternlowerMichigan.Locatedin Traverse
City,weprovidesocialactivities,a newsletter,phoneline,workshops,
and a scholarshipfund for financialassistance.
THEBOARD
OFDIRECTORS
of FRIENDS
NORTH
is composedof nine
womenand men electedeach December.Regularboard meetingsare
held at Grace EpiscopalChurch at the Corner of Washington&
Boardmanthe first Tuesdayof every month (exceptAugust)at 6:30
p.m.Everyoneis welcometo attend.
BrendaBartz- 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aol.com
VictorDinsmore,Secretary- 616-459-5759/itsyrigloo@aol.com
Jim Groya- 616-946-7313
M'LynnHartwell-VP
- 616-943-5050/lesn more@aol.com
Jim Ingleson- 616-922-0925
CarolLambertson,Pres.- 616-275-7102
BenMaddy-616-271-3926/coolj707@aol.com
Julie Parker - 616-276-9330
SueSchwartz,Treas.- 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aol.com
NEWSLETTER
COMMITTEE:
Publicationof Networking
45° North.
Editor: RichardTuxbury:616-271-3042
or e-mail:tux00 1@aol.com
Publishing& Layout: RichardCurtis:616-929-9605
or e-mail:rlc@traverse.com
Advertising: Jim Ingleson616-922-0925
MailingList: John Evans:616-922-0746
Networking
45° Northis the newsletterof FriendsNorth,Inc.Viewpoints
expresseddo not necessarilyrepresentthose of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED
ADVEmSING
and notices are run without charge. Please
submitin writingor by callingthe editor(andleavead on machine2713042or by email.)
DISPLAY
ADVERTISING
in Networking45° Northis availablein Business
Cardsize- $25.00per spaceper issueor an annualrate of $120.00for
6 issues.Inserts and larger sized ads are available.Pleasecall Jim
Ingleson616-922-0925for rates.
SPONSORING
POLITICAL
POSTCARDS:
Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking
45°Northis $100.00.Tosponsorall or part of this,and
to giveyour input,callRichard271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS
to Networkingare welcome.Letters,essays,features,
reflections,and originalartworkshouldbe sent "c/o Editor"to above
address. (Networkingwill not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatoryor sexuallyexplicit.Contributorsare responsiblefor
obtaining permissionfrom those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES:
Issue #1, December 15.
ADDRESS
CHANGES:
Pleasenotify us in advanceif a changeis coming.

CallJohn Evans,922-0746,or e-mailchangesto jdevens@gtii.com.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS:
$15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
sendchecksor moneyordersto: FriendsNorth,P.O.Box562,Traverse
City,MI49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION:
Networking
is published 5 times per year. Copiesare
sent bulk-mailin a plain envelopeto approximately700 households.
Additionalcopies are availableat select local establishments.Our
mailinglist is not soldor traded withother organizations.

~

FROMTHEEDITOR
THE CATHOLIC BISHOPS
Finally, the American Catholic Church
has taken a progressive step forward.
In late September, after five years of

study, the Catholic Bishops issued a letter,
with the following highlights:
• They
recognize
that
sexual
orientation is not chosen freely. -"Sexual identity helps to
define the unique person we are." -"God does not love
someone any less simply because he or she is
homosexual." -Parents must not reject their gay children in
a society full of rejection and discrimination.
• Church rules should not be enforced by the parents at the
expense of their gay child.
• The churches should encourage priests to welcome
homosexuals into parishes and to help establish or promote
support groups for parents of baby children.
Priests should
let people know from the pulpit and elsewhere that they are
willing to talk about homosexual issues.
There has been a 'somewhat negative' response from the
Pope, and a clarification by the Bishops too: The church draws a
distinction between homosexual orientation and sexual activity,
and the letter is not to be understood "as an endorsement of what
some would call a 'homosexual lifestyle."' It may be hard to be
encouraged after this last statement, but the positive moves far
outweigh this clarification.
PRESIDENTIAL SUPPORT
For the first time in history, an American President will be
speaking at a Gay and Lesbian Civil Rights Event. On November
8, President Clinton will be the keynote speaker at the Human

Rights Campaign's gala national dinner in Washington, DC.
Clinton has consistently spoken up about gay/lesbian civil
rights issues with his overwhelming verbal support of the
Employment Non-Discrimination Act. As well, VP Al Gore was just
quoted as saying, "Gays and lesbians ...certainly have my
commitment to work as hard as I can" to stop anti-gay hate crimes,
find a cure for AIDS and end workplace discrimination.
"It is time for all Americans to recognize that the issuesthat face
gays and lesbians in this country are not narrow, special interests,
they are matters of basic human and civil rights," Gore told the
National Gay and LesbianTask Forceat its annual awards ceremony.
WELCOME BACK P-FLAG

Local PFLAG's Jeff Erno has put together a great newsletter
for the fall, after an absence of several months. Their next meeting,
which is open to all and everyone, is Wednesday, November 19.
NEW ADVERTISING REP FOR NEWSLETTER
Thanks go to Jim lngleson for stepping forward and assuming the job
of coordinating advertising for us. If any advertisers have questions
about billing, ad placement or changes, please call Jim at 922-0925.

See you in '98 with our 12th year of the Friends North
newsletter!

f;?Jw<(Tv,-,~~z

printed on recycledpaper
NfIWORKING
45°NORTH

-2-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Carol Lambertson

• The Nominating Committee reported thatthey are collecting
names of persons interested in running for election to the
Friends North Board. There are three 1-year and four 2year vacancies.
• Re-writing the by-laws was again discussed. M'Lynn offered
to draft a set to distribute at the October meeting.
• The status of registrations for the November Gay History
& Education Event were discussed. Registration numbers
are not at the point we would like to see; however, we plan
to forge ahead. Even though we are
taking a chance
financially, the Board feels that our credibility rests
somewhat heavily on this event.
• A guest was present to discuss a Friends North-sponsored
discussion group for transgendered persons. At this time
no request was made for financial assistance. The Board
agreed that this was a good addition to the existing groups.
• There was considerable discussion regarding our financial
situation. Friends North as an organization is struggling.
Networking 45 ° North (the newsletter) is wavering in that
membership renewals are at an all-time low. Social activities
have failed to draw large enough groups to break even
financially.
• The Board was reminded that the Mission of Friends North
is as a social organization. We are not here to make money,
but rather to provide a newsletter and social events - as
long as we can afford to do so.
• SueSchwartz, our Treasurer,puttogether the following report,
which demonstrates that, indeed, we are meeting these goals.
We're essentially spending as much as we are bringing in.

FROM
THEPRESIDENT
This is my last column. It has been an
amazing 2 years!
When I became President of the Friends
North Board over a year and a half ago, I was
naive about a lot of things. I had little knowledge of the history of
the organization and the people who created it. My ideas about
gay politics were untainted. The passing of the last several
months
have allowed me to expand this perspective.
I've developed a strong admiration for the folks who founded
this organization, and for those who kept it going. It takes strong,
courageous and committed people to move continuously forward
in order to create positive change for the g/I/6/t community.
A special thanks to everyone who gave their time and energy
to serve as Friends North Board Members over the last two years.
Your extra stamina, diligent work and dedication to the organization
demonstrate your desire to foster change for our community.
I am also grateful to the many folks out there who attended
the social events, offered ideas and advice, challenged the Board,
furnished words of encouragement and helped us to remain
focused on the jobs at hand. The Board is grateful to all of you.
I encourage each person to renew your commitment to
Friends North and to this Newsletter.
My best wishes to the 1998-99 Board!

BOARD
NOTES:

Friends North Events as of August 31, 1997
Event
Revenue
Expenses
High Tea
$84.41
$510.41
Winter Party
$68.00
$191 .52
Prom
$443.00
$1,145.55
Pride Day
$1592,41
$2461.76
Bike Tour
$6355.00
$4304.15

In an attempt to maintain good communication among the
Friends North Board of Directors, the membership and the
readers of this newsletter, this section is intended to provide you
with a synopsis of our board
meetings.
We welcome feedback in the form of phone calls, letters to the
editor and attendance at the board meetings. Please let us know if
this information is helpful to you!
Reminder: All board meetings are the first Tuesday of each
month, 6:30 pm at Grace Episcopal Church. They are open to
everyone.

TOTALS

$8613.39

This report indicates that we have spent $70.57 MORE than
we have brought in so far this year.

Highlights of the September and October Board Meetings
included the following:
• The Bike Tour was discussed it was again very
successful and much positive feedback was received from
those attending. Jim, Kirk, Gretchen, Jeff and all others
involved in the planning and organizing did a wonderful job.
This event continues to be our most attended and
best
fund-raiser.
• Membership renewals were again discussed and the need
to stay on top of this process, as it is our main source of
funding. Renewals have been at an all-time low.
• There is a need to have a person dedicated to newsletter
advertising, with a focus on collecting payments for ads.

NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

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Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday (by appointment)

814-B S. Garfield• Traverse City, MI 49686
Res: 616-922-9272 • Office 616-933-4424

-3-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

* A special thank you to Alan Williams for all the quality time and
work on our City Commission Candidate Project. Alan also designed
the new Common Voices Logo.

SPENDYOURWINTERWITH

Common Voices
THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP

A

RAISING
COMMON
VOICES

1qt, t4e- ?-~ ~q~"""'t'T
Ed Richardson
Common Voices-The FriendsNorth RapGroup wantsto welcome
everyonein our gll;ly\:community. We want the insightand wisdom from
all generations.It is an extremely beautiful experience to witness all the
sharing between our various ages and ooth sexes. Our safe and
comfortablegatheringsmake it so much easierfor thosewho are taking a
"first step" into our community. There are not "clicks" and no one who
attendsCommon Voices eventsis ignored. If you needto talk, Common
Voices will always make time for you. So, why don't you join us?
Common Voices continues to grow and is now offering much
more than just the popular 2nd Wednesday of each month rap
session.
Our 4th Wednesday monthly local restaurant dinner (Common
Nibbles) gains in attendance. We choose a different dining
establishmenteach month.
We recently held a special event potluck and hike which proved
very successful (and enjoyable!) Thanks to one of our regular
Common Voices members. We would like to plan more "special
events"-just need input as to what is wanted. Please let Common
Voices know!
I am pleasedto report that Common Voices has become politically
alert by taking an active interest in the candidates running for the
TraverseCity City Commission. We felt it was extremely vital to educate
ourselves (and hopefully Networking 45 ° readers) because we
, strongly believe what happens politically on sexual orientation issues
in TraverseCity can influence the surrounding area.
Common Voices offers a free subscription to our monthly
newsletter (which is also a reminder of our gatherings and special
events.)To receive your copy, phone Edor Tom at the numbers listed
below. We need your name(s) and mailing address. (telephone
numbers are appreciated but optional). Our mailing list is confidentialno names/addresseswill be given out by anyone in Common Voices.
Common Voices/The Rap Group gatherings on the Second
Wednesdayof each month at 7 :30 pm in the basementlounge at Grace
Episcopal Church, 349 Washington St., Traverse City. Parking is
available in back and you can usethe rear entrance. Common Voices
people will be near the main church entrances until 7:30 to direct firsttimers to the lounge. Our rap sessionsoften include topics and videos
but more importantly, includes time for anyone who needsto talk and/
or vent in a safe environment.
Common Nibbles-the 4th Wednesday (7:00 pm) monthly local
restaurantgatheringchoosesa different dining establishment.Common
Nibbles has proven to be an excellent regular event with quality
interaction (and quality food) Call Ed or Tom at numbers listed below
for restaurantof the month.
Forany information aoout Common Voices/RapGroup/restaurant
choices/our newsletter mailing/special events - phone Ed 947-4697
or Tom 275-6127.
~a-le- pta-~e,

NE1WORKING
45'NORTH

-4-

Alan Williams
Traverse City used to have a well-kept secret called the
Friends North Rap Group. However, that secret is out-and so is
the name. Common Voices, as the Rap Group is now known, has
grown. Once, only a few people met once a month to discuss a
variety of topics; these days, the second-Wednesday meetings
have a regular audience in the double digits, and the fourthWednesday dinners (nicknamed "Common Nibbles" by some of
the participants) usually do aoout as well.
Haven't been to a Common Voices meeting? You don't know
what you're missing.
Common Voices calls itself "A safe space for the gay
community," but it's more than that. All are welcome, and though
members plan topics in advance, there's always room for
discussion of any topic a member might have on her or his mind.
The setting is informal and relaxed; there's room for both humor
and seriousness in a Common Voices meeting. If you haven't
attended a meeting in a while, or if you've never been to one, you
might find it worth your time to drop in at the Grace Episcopal
Church (349 Washington Street, in Traverse City) on the second
Wednesday of the month, at around 7:30, and see what's up.
Topics vary from month to month. October's topic was gay
culture; in November, it's a discussion on "Couples and Singles,"
and December will feature a discussion on "Surviving the
Holidays." There are videos and social gatherings. One member is
already planning a holiday party! In the past few months, there have
been potlucks and even a short hike at members' homes. The
location of the dinner varies from month to month, so it's a good
idea to call ahead to see where the group is gathering.
There's an occasional misconception that Common Voices is a
men-only group. Not so; Common Voices encourages diversity
within the group, and welcomes women within its ranks. If you have
a topic on your mind or just want to see what the buzz is about,
then come check out Common Voices. You'll be glad you came.
For more details, contact Tom Barkley (275-6127) or Ed
Richardson (947-4697). Hope to see you soon!

The comfortable gathering place for friends and couples.

David Schulz & Jim Walker
212 Park Street, Bellaire, Michigan 49615
800-545-0780 • (616) 533-6077
VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

City. Smyka, again, had no comment. Estesqualified his response:
"If any organization feels that I am their best candidate; I would
accept their endorsement. However, if I feel that the endorsement
would attempt to force me to make illegal or questionable decisions,
I would not accept the endorsement."
For further information regarding the candidates' responses,
please contact Common Voices via Friends North, at 616-9461804.

COMMON
VOICES
POLLS
CITY
COMMISSION
CANDIDATES
Common Voices sent the candidates for City Commission a
short questionnaire to learn more about the candidates' feelings
toward the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered (GLBT) community.
Of the candidates, only Margaret Dodd, Michael Estes,Robert Peltz,
and Linda Smyka responded. Shelly Kester, Tom Gilbert, Diane
Dennis, and Jim Tompkins did not respond.
Dodd, Estes,Peltz, and Smyka were, overall, supportive of the
gay community in their responses. When asked, "Do you think a
Human Rights Commission is needed in this area?" all three
responded positively. Dodd added that the HRC "will be needed
even more as our population becomes more diverse and
representative of the country as a whole." Estes wrote, "The
protection of human rights is one of the responsibilities of
government.
I feel that the local government has a definite
responsibility to make sure that the rights of its population are
respected and protected."
All four respondents support the addition of a sexual
orientation clause to Traverse City's anti-discrimination ordinance.
Peltz wrote, "If elected, I would encourage this issue to be placed
on the City Commission agenda." Dodd wrote, "I believe that gays
are now the group most likely to be victims of bias crime and among
those most likely to be discriminated against. Even so, there is still
no state or federal protection on which they can rely. The city
needs to do what it can to change this-other cities do." Esteswas
the only one who disagreed, because he felt that an addition to the
ordinance "would give preference to hiring practices that would
result in the employment of less qualified individuals simply to
satisfy quota requirements."
On the question of legalizing same-sex domestic partnerships
in Traverse City, Peltz and Dodd felt that they did not understand
the issuewell enough to respond with a "yes" or "no." Peltz wrote,
"I'm not sure I know enough about this issue, but I'm willing to be
informed."
Estes made a distinction between "marriage" and
"domestic partnerships": "If you mean do I support same sex
marriage, no. However, same sex partnerships that are legal are
perfectly all right with me." Smyka had no response.
Peltz and Dodd also indicated that they had no problem with
receiving an endorsement from a GLBT organization in Traverse

Letters
Dear Friends,
Sincere appreciation has to go out to Brenda, Kirk, Jim (and
others who helped!) for choosing such a beautiful hiking trail and
an absolutely perfect fall Sunday for the Friends North sponsored
Autumn Hike and Potluck on October 12th. The attendance was
wonderful and the potluck, at Brenda's promoted excellent
interaction and helped keep friendships alive. It never ceases to
amaze me what a healthy dose of nature (and eating together) does
to bring our sense of community together. Events, such as this,
do much to tear down the walls of separation within our glbt
family.
-Ed Richardson.

T

T

Note: The letter below was sent to us by two friends who lived in
TC and moved to California. I thought you might enjoy it. The Editor.
Hello,
We promised each other before we left for our first
international vacation, we would send out thank you letters and
update everyone on the California AIDS Ride-which proved to
be an incredible event for the two of us.
We wanted to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for
your support. Whether you supported us emotionally, spiritually,
financially or all three we could not have done the ride without

LETTERS
continuednextpage

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VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

Letters (continuedfrompreviouspage)
INTERCEPTEDLETTER:
MCMANUS RELIESON HYSTERIAAND BIGOTRY

you. Together we were able to raise over $9,000.00 for the
designated beneficiaries.
There was a total of 2476 riders-roughly
54% from
Southern California and 46% from northern California.
Collectively, we raised close to 9.5 million dollars, which goes on
record as being the largest AIDS fund-raiser in the world. The 7
days of 583 miles were long and tiresome, but with the support of
fellow riders and the cheers from enthusiastic spectators, we were
reminded that we were not alone. In fact, I think it is fair to say we
never traveled for more than 15 miles from San Francisco to Los
Angeles without someone waving banners from a porch,
displaying signs from a Winnebago, or passing out fruit from
church groups assembled in parking lots. We all shared in the
brutal climbs and scaled the grueling grades of the California coast
as we learned to adjust to the peculiarities of camp life-a life
defined by waiting in line for food, showers and toilets. It was an
incredible experience and a rewarding accomplishment we will not
soon forget.
Let us share just a few of our wonderful experiences that
brought us to tears nearly everyday:
• A migrant farm worker who, when told of the purpose of
the ride, explained she lost a son to AIDS and went back
into the field to collect $1.67 for the cause.
• Being greeted in Guadeloupe by the towns' children who
made paper flowers for us and waited to shake our hands.
• The man who stopped his car on the side of the road
waving a $20 bill at an AIDS rider and saying "please take
this"
• The group of 20 or so developmentally disabled youth who
lined up in their wheelchairs on the side of the road and
cheered as we rode by with smiles as big as Texas
• The 50+ year old mother who rode with her HIV positive
son, every mile, every hill, every day
• The rider who we nicknamed "Rainbow Man" who road a
tandem bike with an empty rear seat, in memory of his 7
year old nephew Dylan
• Riding down the Avenue of the Stars-entering Century
City with 2400 other riders into a sea of 8,000 friends and
family members who had gathered to support us as we
rode the last mile of our trek
• Having the chilling experience of hearing my mom yell
"Skeeter, Skeeter" out of a crowd of 8,000 supporters into
a crowd of 2,400 cyclists, and having my step-dad waive
two huge bouquets of flowers for Cindy and me because
we were their heroes!
Would we do it again? Absolutely! In fact, my mom and stepdad were so empowered by this event that they have donated
their semi truck and trailer to help support the Minneapolis to
Chicago AIDS Ride next year as part of the volunteer crew. Guess
where we'll be next July?
Many, many thanks for making this possible.
Much love,
Cindy & Skeeter

...

NElWORKING
45'NORTH

Dear Rep. Dobronski:
I am a member of the Detroit Human Rights Commission and I
am an officer at large in the Michigan Democratic Party. I am writing
to request your active support of Rep. Lynn Martinez's proposed
amendment to the Ethnic Intimidation law. The amendment would
add the phrase "sexual orientation" to the law.
I testified briefly before the Constitutional Rights Committee on
October 14th. It was quite clear that the one opponent of the bill
(rep. McManus) had no logic or rationale to justify her opposition.
She relied on hysteria and bigotry.
First, McManus said that including sexual orientation would
protect pedophiles. This was an effort to immediately take the debate
to the gutter! Detroit, Ann Arbor, EastLansing, Ferndale, Douglas,
Oak Park and Flint all have sexual orientation in local measures
already. In Detroit, we do not protect pedophiles ... we prosecute
them. It is outrageously insulting to suggest that Detroit (which
adopted its law more than 30 years ago) somehow protects
pedophiles. In fact, twelve statesand hundreds of cities now include
sexual orientation in civil rights law. Nowhere has any court ruled
that this phrase applies to child molesters. The argument is 100%
hysteria and Rep. McManus should be ashamed of herself.
Secondly, McManus referred to the First Amendment rights of
gay-haters. The Ethnic Intimidation law does not prevent Nazis from
believing whatever they choose to believe. The law applies only
when they act on that belief by committing an otherwise criminal act
such as vandalism or assault. Although we have laws against
vandalism and assault on the books now, the new measure would
provide for greater penalties.
I am a former School Board member, former County
Commissioner, former CongressionalAide and former StaffAttorney
for the Court of Appeals. I have been practicing law for 14 years and
also have a license to practice social work. The September Michigan
Bar Journal includes my article entitled "Sexual orientation and
Michigan Law." I sent a copy to committee chair Vaughn and asked
him to distribute it. If you have any questions about the LEGALaffect
of the amendment, please feel free to contact me.
Rudy Serra
(313) 331-RUDY
RASERRA@voyager.net

LETTERS
continuednextpage

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...

-6-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Letters (continuedfrompreviouspage)
Michelle McManus
104th District
607 George Romney Bldg.
Lansing, Ml 48913

out specifically, to recognize that blacks and gays are constant
targets of bigots and to publicize it and protect us all.
Unfortunately this is absolutely necessaryand in no way is it a
request for a law that will benefit only certain members of society.
Education, tolerance, and understanding is the answer and a
full understanding of the problem is something our government
should have and protect at this point, full understanding must be
taught. Please appreciate the benefits of HB-4674
Sincerely
Christine E. Morey, Traverse City, Ml

Dear Ms. McManus:
Please reconsider your rejection of House Bill #4674. It is vital
that homosexual citizens be specifically included (not isolated) not
given special privileges, just awareness to all hate mongers. It is
well known blacks and gays are main targets.
As a parent of three grown children-one of whom is gay; I
have seen first hand the terrible toll ignorance takes on the
innocent lives of decent human beings. Our sexual orientation is
not chosen.
In our lovely city blacks and gay people have been assaulted,
physically and mentally. We are a capsule of ignorant America.
Our Human Rights Commission is reduced to ashes by the
City Commission appointment of the head of the hate filled John
Birch Society; a very strang.etwisted rambling eccentric man. Sad.
Commissioner JasperWeese-a poster boy for bigotry, and Shelly
Kester who doesn't know any better, are in charge of deciding
who and what may be involved in Human Rights issues. They
must be 'acceptable' to the Commissioners, a sheep-like group of
"I dunno, what are you gonna vote" mentality, thus ending,
literally, by their closed mindes - Human Rights.
This is neither a conservative, liberal, republican, democratic
issue! It is a human decency issue. It is true honest awareness.
Special consideration is not what this Bill #4674 is about. To
advance our society's issuesmust be spelled out clearly. We must
reach out and support good citizens in need of protection from
the hate faction. We are neither promoting or demoting anyone.
We all deserve human rights and decency.
Thank you for hearing me out 'via mail.' I speak for caring
loving parents, lost scared teens, and adults against cruelty and
ignorance.
We are unfortunately often a nation of groups, good, bad,
indifferent and threatening. We must consistently work on
improvement.
To work against House Bill #4674 is to work against equal
rights, which in this case is to educate people. It must be spelled

WHYDOI CONCERN
MYSELF
WITHTHESE
MATTERS?
Apathysucks ... but whocares?
Apathy is a human disease in which its victims become selfish
and oblivious of the world around them. It leads people to not
care, and often it causes them to ignore anything that does not
concern them-In the worse case scenario ignoring things that do
concern them. This is truly pathetic! Apathy is a major problem in
our LGBT community where very few people work extremely hard
to accomplish goals, host activities and provide events for the
entire membership.
Apathy, on a personal level, is not necessarily inexcusable. It
is true, we all have our own responsibilities that require us to
prioritize our time. But, when reruns of "The Simpsons"' or
"Jeopardy" (reruns of Ellen are however an acceptable excuse)
and goofing-off become more important than contributing our
personal resources to the health and well-being of our community,
apathy becomes a stagnating and destructive scourge upon us. I
realize that being part of the solution is much more difficult and a
lot less fun than being part of the problem, but I urge you ...
please try: Write letters/articles. Offer constructive suggestions.
Help plan and plan to attend Friends North events. Renew/Join
Friends North (very important! Memberships and advertising pay
the costs of producing the 45 Degrees North newsletter in your
hands).
Oh ... and to those individuals who made the Friends North
Autumn Hike a huge success ... Thank you Brenda for opening

LETTERS
continuednextpage

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NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

LITTERS
continuedfrompreviouspage
up your home for us to use; and Jeff and Kirk ... I loved the old
fashioned Apple Cider press and the wonderful fresh cider you
squeezed out of it! It was wonderful to meet all of the new people
and renew old friendships.
-M'Lynn Hartwell

...

behavior is described in books on the history of the homosexual
movement. Review the photographs of the past and present and
realize that transgendered people have been a part of the
homosexual community from the start.
To express a gender other than one in accordance with your
birth sex seems preposterous and deceptive to many. To
conform to the majority is self-defeating and it just doesn't work in
the long run. We all must resolve the needs of our souls, or suffer.
Recall your first timid realizations that your behavior didn't
coincide with the majority.
Remember the hiding, the guilt, and the fear. To not abide by
paranoia requires the pride many of us learn to rely on to survive.
It's sad when you loose your old friends and they leave in disgust.
When your family distances themselves from you because of the
shame they feel in your presence. You experience loneliness and
despair. Who would choose to live such abuse if they had any
choice in the matter? Where the individual's
psychology is
involved, I believe that the mind takes precedence over the
body.
There's a difference between sex and gender. In my case, if I think
I'm a female, aren't I?
Try to keep an open mind and be patient with the
transgendered. We are a deeply closeted group that needs a place
where we can be accepted regardless of our appearance. We all
face the same tormentors. Together we stand, divided we fall.
Thank you
Trisha Marie
Petoskey - (nirvana@freeway.net)

...

Dear Friends North,
If I may start, it has taken me awhile to respond to M'Lynn
Hartwell's article in the Friends North Newsletter, that I got back
in June. I liked the article that welcomes transgendered. Yes, I am
a transgender person that lives in Kalkaska. I am still in the closet
with fears of being falsely labeled. I would like to come to a club or
meeting.
Name withheld by request

T

T

T

A response from the Editor:
Please read the article in this issue of 45 ° North, entitled
"Trans-Group Interest," by Gwen Larson aboutthe effort to form
a "T-Support Group" in the greater Grand Traverse area. If you
are not already a member of Friends North, Inc., please consider
joining us and participating in our many activities and events
throughout the year.

...
Letter to the Editor
I'm thankful to all those individuals involved in the recent
board decision to include the transgendered among the Friends
North membership. An organization grows by becoming inclusive
of all people who share commonality with the primary cause.
Unfortunately the transgender minority is poorly connected, so
word of this recent inclusion will spread slowly among us. The
opportunity to become a part of the Friends North
community will
be beneficial and I'd like to express my appreciation and thanks to
the Board for their decision.
I had heard that the argument for non-inclusion of the
transgendered in past gay pride marches was because the
transgendered as a group, can be a visual detriment. We can look
pretty outlandish because the majority of us
can't afford the
complex surgeries, hormonal treatments; wardrobes or the
legal
documentation needed to live in the gender opposite our birth sex.
The impediments to our transitions are formidable. We refer to
getting medical approval for hormonal treatment as "jumping
through the hoops". The whole process is quite costly. The trans
appearance often doesn't conform to the societal ideal of what a
man or woman should look like. I'm glad that the Friends North
group is attempting to see beyond appearance to
the deeper
reasons for behavior in their analysis of the subject.
Historically, transgendered people have been around since
the beginning of time. Images of the transgendered appear
archeologically in the form of artifacts and sculpture. Trans

NEWTRANSGROUP
ORGANIZES
by Gwen Larson

This has been several years in the making, but there comes a
time when you have to take the chance and reveal your secret side
to more than just a couple of other people. With this in mind I'll
continue.
As with other individuals of a similar nature, I grew up as a
male who was attracted to dressing in women's clothing since
around the age of eight. Obviously, I was limited to getting into
my mom's things at that time. The desire to wear women's clothing
never left me, and for many years I thought I was the only one
anywhere who was this weird. When I was thirty-six I shared my
secret with my wife to be, which prompted a search for
information on the subject of transvestitism. Eventually, through
a family counselor, we were put in touch with Crossroads in Royal
Oak, a support group for transgendered persons. Contact with
that group led to another support group known as IME of Western
Michigan in Grand Rapids. I have been a member of IME for
several years, and without their support and that of my wife, I

THE ONLYONEcontinuednextpage
NE1WORKING
45'NORTH

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VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

KIRKcontinuedfrompreviouspage

out... He was catching flak from his parents because he hadn't been
dating any girls - he really didn't have any interest in girls. We had
talked about that ... maybe we should hang out with girls because
someone is going to start to talk ... but that night we had a huge
argument and ended up going our separateways."
Two years later Kirk stood up with this young man at his wedding.
"When he turned to take the ring he looked me in the eye. That was
probably one of the most difficult things that I've ever had to deal with.
It was a very confusing time of my life. It had not been a one-sided
relationship. If he could get married, maybe I'm not gay either."
During this time Kirk dated girls and finally met one to whom he
became engaged and Iived with for three years. But that fell apart and
Kirk finally decided he was not going to pretend any more.
"Those feelings didn't go away."
Through all of this and in spite of the emotional turmoil, Kirk was
gainfully employed at work he enjoyed. Right out of high school he
went to work for a fire safety company as a safety coordinator. This
job took him all over the statesettingup safetyprogramsin universities,
schools, factories, even the state prison system. Among his
company's clients was Tr~verseCity Area Public Schools. After six or
so yearsof travelling from shoreto shore and stateline to state line, he
naturally turned to a familiar place near home.
"I had done safety work for the school systemso I knew the ins
and outs of the entire layout, and I was looking for a change... They
had some positions open. I applied. They called me and I was hired."
Kirk worked at Bertha Vos Elementaryfor several years before
being transferred in January of this year to Norris ElementarySchool
where he is a custodian.
"I am the youngest in historyto have a lead shift custodial position
in the elementary school. I was thirty when I stepped into that
position."
Kirk thoroughly enjoys his work and the children love him.
"They've gotten me a nameplatefor my door that says'Mr Kirk'.
That's the name they gave me. They seemto know when Mr. Kirk is
having a down day and needs a hug."
Outside of his work and his activities with FriendsNorth, Kirk has
always done volunteer work with such organizations as Alzheimer's
Association, the March of Dimes, and volunteer work at school.
"I go to NMC and talk every term to the human sexuality class. I
always get the same comment: Kirk, you don't look gay... I enjoy
breaking stereotypes." Kirk is running for one of the positions open
on the Friends North Board next month.

WORDSANDMUSIC:WHAT'SNEWIN
CD'sANDTAPES
BOOKS,
MAGAZINES,
By Rick Gould
With the holidays upcoming, here are some suggestions from
our local book and music stores:
At The Bookie Joint, Shelley recommends: pride jewelry,
bumper stickers, pride T-shirts, and over 1,500 used books of gay
and lesbian interest. Bring in your books to trade and save
money.
From Borders, Aimee's FallM'inter book picks:
Michael Nava, a consumate storyteller, try "How Town,"
$4.99 or "The Little Death" at $9.95. His newest work, due out
now is "The Burning Plain" at $20.65.
Mark Richard Zubro, whose mysteries keep you guessing
until the final pages, try "Rust on the Razor" at $10.95, "Another
Dead Teenager" at$ 9.95 or "Echo of Death" for $8.95.
Claire McNab, a great wit and character, stars in "Lessons in
Murder" at $10.95. McNab's newest' "Chain Letter" is due out
this month.
"Rita Will," the new biography by Rita Mae Brown, is $22.55.
P.S.: Good books, good coffee, great people ...sound like a
winning combination? Then you ought to stop by the Lesbian and
Gay Book Club at Borders Books & Music. We sit, talk about
books, share a few laughs, and generally have a great time in a
relaxed atmosphere. In November, we'll be reading "Entries From
a Hot Pink Notebook" by Todd D. Brown, which tells the sweet
and funny story of a 14 year old boy coming out, finding love,
and coping in a homophobic school setting. We average about a
dozen people at each meeting, but new faces keep things fun and
interesting. Even if you haven't read the book for the month,
please come by and join the discussion, and help pick the book
for the next month. The group meets on the last Monday of every
month at Borders' Cafe, Espresso, at 7:30 p.m. All book group
titles are 20% off.
At AB CD's, Norm gave us this list:
Andrea Bocelli's "Romanza." This disc has topped all the
charts in Europe for most of the year 1997. Andrea is a wonderful
Italian vocalist and his current disc has finally made a stateside
WORDS&MUSICcontinuednextpage

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45°NORTH

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1997

WORDS& MUSICcontinuedfrompreviouspage

appearance in September. Sung primarily in Italian the set includes
a wonderful duet with Sarah Brightman (Christine from
Phantom
of the Opera), a #1 hit in Europe, "Time to Say Goodbye."
Sarah Brightman - "Surrender - The Unexpected Songs." The
lastest Brightman effort is an import from Canada and is comprised
completely of Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes. Songs from Aspects
of Love, Song and Dance, Cats, JesusChrist Superstar and Sunset
Blvd,-Brightman
delivers.
Loreena McKennitt - "Book of Secrets." McKennitt's seventh
recording and supposedly her last. There is no new ground
covered with this recording but then again why mess around with
proven material?
McKennitt far and wide surpasses her
contemporaries with little studio production and overdubbing.
This is pure composition and delivery with incredible style.
"The Life" - original Broadway Cast Recording - the material
and subject matter seem slightly odd but the performances are
incredible. The plot revolves around the pimps and hookers of
1970s Time Square. Drama Desk Award Winner and Tony Award
nominations abound from this musical. Featured performers
range from Sam Harris (Tony nominee), Chuck Cooper (Tony
Award winner) and Pamela Isaacs. Unfortunately, the hottest
ticket on Broadway will see Sam Harris leave the company but the
performance will live on with the soundtrack recording.
At Horizon, Jennifer gave us these selections:
"Walt Whitman: A Gay Life," by Gary Schmidgall, $32.95.
Drawing from Whitman's poetry, private journals and letters, the
author explores Whitman's life as an artist and man.
"The Girls Next Door," by Lindsey Van Gelder and Pamela
Robin Bandt, $13.00. This is a cross-country trip covering the
United States and filled with short stories on lesbian life from all
the states.
"Tuesdays with Morrie," by Mitch Alborn, $19.95. This is the
true story about life's lessonsgiven to us by an elderly dying man.
Alborn, the Detroit Free Press columnist gives us an intimate
account of his friendship with his former teacher.
"Am I Blue?," by Marion Bauer, $5.95. Original short stories
by a variety of famous authors. The stories honestly portray the
subject of growing up gay or lesbian.
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us the following:
"The Accidental Activist," by Candace Gingrich, $12.00.
Sister of Newt's memoir is now out in paper.
"The Farewell Symphony," by Edmund White, $25.00. The
long-awaited final book of the literary trilogy is complete. This is
the follow-up to "A Boy's Own Story" and "The Beautiful Room
Is Empty."
"The Lavender Screen, Revised and Updated," by Boze
Hadleigh, $19.95. This has more films covered in the update to
this fun and imformative book.
"Marcus Schenkenberg: New Rules," by Marcus S., $27.50.
That European supermodel takes an in-depth look at the hardships
of modelling. Pictures? You bet! Plus, an introduction by Gianni
Versace.
Remember, these stores appreciate your comments and business.
NfIWORKING45°NORTH

LOOKING
OTHER
WAYHURTS
USALL
reprinted w/permission of
Loraine Anderson, Regional Editor, Traverse City Record-Eagle

I saw my first Queer Reserve Note-a $3 bill with President
Clinton in the oval-at a local gun and key shop about four years ago
during the height of the gay military ban debate.
I said nothing, but I did write a short story. In the story, a lesbian
went to the shop to have a key made and saw the $3 bill. She felt
exhausted. This was what she hated about being out. It was never
over.
Right thought, right action, shetold herselfbefore telling the shop
owner how the $3 bill affected her. Shedidn't usethe word offensive.
It went deeper than that. The $3 bill was hurtful, shesaid. It hurt them
both, but mostly him becauseof his intention. He scoffed.
I saw my second $3 bill last winter at a downtown restaurant.It
was taped to the cash register.I askedthe owner if I could have a word
with him.
"You're what?" he askedwhen I told him I was a lesbianand that
I found his $3 bill hurtful. He told me I was too sensitive.Neither of us
were angry, nor were we comfortable I left, shakingfrom fear I'd been
holding off. It had taken me all of my adult life and a short story to get
to that conversation.
I saw my third $3 bill just last month at an area shoe shop. I felt
exhausted.I knew this would mean another round of anguishand soul
searching.
Say something. It's the right thing to do.

Don't say anything. It won't change anything.
Probably not, but you' re not trying to changeanyone. You' re just
not letting things like this change you.
Peace, harmony, right thought, right action.

As I drove back to work from the shoe shop, I thought about the
$3 bills and the freedom people haveto putthem on their wal I.I thought
about my freedom to say something about them. I thought about
Disney and the courage it shows by including sexual orientation in its
non-discrimination policies and by giving benefitsto partnersof its gay
and lesbian employees. I thought about the importance of the Ellen
coming-out episode and gay pride events.
I have often likened growing up in a homophobic culture to
growing up in an abusive home where you are battered daily
psychologically and mentally to the point that you don't recognize the
abuse. It keepsyou quiet and isolatedfrom other people like yourself.
Becauseof your isolation, you start believing the hateful things people
say. You are filled with self-loathing.
And you never speak up and neither does anyone else. In the
end, maybe you don't even see it.
This is how oppression blinds and silences.It is in this fearful quiet
that prejudice and stereotypesfesterunchecked, settinga societal tone
that makes people think they can hit "a nigger," and a "faggot'' and get
away with it.
The only antidote is seeing and naming it.
That's why I have to say something about the $3 bills.
They hurt their targets, the people who put them up and our
community. And they won't come down until a lot of straight people
say something.
And I have to wonder if anyone did. Or do we quietly accept $3
bills hanging on walls and cash registersin TraverseCity?
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S • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

THE ONLYONEcontinuedfrompreviouspage

would still be thinking that I was the "only one". I am fortunate to
have the freedom to explore my feelings, and am now very
comfortable with my feminine side. In fact, I believe that it makes
up the majority of my being. I like that in a person.
During my tenure to find myself, I have met quite a few
transgendered individuals in Traverse City and the surrounding
area. I am convinced that there are many more out there, who think
they are the "only ones". Recently, in the Petoskey area there was
an attempt to organize a support group that met with limited
success.This effort was finally abandoned. I believe that there is a
serious need for such a group in Northern Michigan, and with the
help and support of Friends North, Inc., it is possible to start a
support group. With a little help from Friends North, and the 45
Degrees North Newsletter we will be able to achieve a successful
transgender support organization in Northern Michigan.
I am offering my time and energy to make a serious effort, but
of course I will need help from the people who are interested. It
will be your support group. The very fact that you are reading this
article in 45 Degrees North shows a growing level of support and
understanding for our regional transgendered people. I met with
the FN Board Of Trustees at their October meeting, and have
gained their approval to begin forming a transgendered support
group. It is up to us now.
If you have an interest in joining a growing and caring local "T"
Support Group (transvestite, cross-dresser, cross-gendered,
transgendered,transsexual,and friends & families of), contact me at:
T-Support Group
c/o Gwen Larson
Box 562
Traverse City, Ml 49685-0562

If you have a computer, you may wish to visit the following
web
address that
contains
HIV
Resources: http://
www.HIVpositive.com
-the comprehensive resource for HIV
and AIDS, covering a wide range of topics that impact quality of
life. Over 3,000 files of useful educational information for all those
concerned and involved.
This is Phoebe Hanshew, Student Pride Coordinator and
GLSEN Intern. Y'all might remember that Student Pride is a new
project of GLSEN's to network all the Gay-Straight Alliances and
student activists in the country so that starting and sustaining
those kinds of groups is easier. We will soon have a web site,
newsletter, and e-mail lists to facilitate communication between
students as well as advisors for the groups.

A Student Pride web site is now forming. When school starts
we need to be ready to respond to the needs of student activists.
Here's where you come in! You can help me and Student
Pride by sending me the names of high schools in your area that
have student groups that deal with LGBT issues. They can be
overall diversity clubs, Human Rights clubs, GSAs, or support
groups. If it is possible, send along the name of a faculty or student
contact, and address or phone number of the school. Even if you
aren't positive that there is a group I can still use the information.
I know these groups are out there ... help connect them to this
important network and put hands on our mission to make schools
better places.
E-MAIL: studentpride@glstn.org

V
Coming out can seem easier in the Age of Internet: teens no
longer need to feel so isolated, for example, and adults have
alternatives to bars, softball games and cruising zones. By some
estimates, as many as 10 million LGBT's may be online, with an
unknown percentage in the closet. And yet, there's a catch: the
internet is still in its infancy: accessing the right information can be
a laborious, frustrating chore.
For this reason, PlanetOut (www.planetout.com) and the
National Coming Out Project of the HRC (http://www.hrc.org/
neap/index.html) have joined forces to create a new coming out

or by e-mail at <GwenChrist@aol.com>.

ELECTRONIC
CORNUCOPIA
by M'Lynn Hartwell

I am seeking feedback from our readership on the
establishment of a new column I am considering calling, Electronic
Cornucopia. As more and more of our 45 Degrees North readers
acquire computers, I am hoping that this column may be of value
in locating interesting and useful web sites.

HAIR

FORCE

CORNUCOPIA
continuednextpage

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-9-

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1997

CORNUCOPIA
continuedfrompreviouspage

tool. GayHelp will consolidate existing resources as well as
creating new-to-the-world resources for families, friends and
questioning LGBT's ... as well as to out LGBT's seeking the advice
and damage control.
The interactive "virtual panel," modeled after the Boston GLB
Speakers Bureau, will disseminate the experiences not only of
LGBT's, but also of their allies, clergy, parents and children. Out
LGBT's will find coming out experiences, strategies and tips,
targeted recommendations, and Outsource, our answer to antigay rhetoric. For every debate on Gay Parenting which doesn't
mention the studies of children raised by lesbians, for every time
you've heard Gays in the Military debated without reference to
the failed attempt to show homosexuals unfit for service ... now
there's Outsource, a Pro&Con of famous studies and opinion
pieces that every LGBT should have.
A free-text interface will help skittish visitors to explore at their
own pace, without facing issues before they're prepared. Many
current, excellent resources reside on sites such as... well, such
as PlanetOut and the HRC, which can scare newcomers to the
community with calls to action, and terminology such as "dyke"
and "queer." GayHelp will therefore be available through it's own
kinder, gentler URL, www.gayhelp.com.

known for his outspoken and off-the-wall preaching during the
meetings and many times dominated them with his overpowering
demeanor. This summer, in a controversial move by current
conservative commission members, Schoech was appointed to the
T.C. Human Rights Commission with the charge of protecting
minority rights and gay rights in Traverse City.
Marki quickly became a household name known by the
public, and he stood by his virulent statements which condemned
gays and lesbians. In a particularly charged commission meeting,
he was chastised for his remarks about gays by local attorney
Dean Robb. In this, Robb issued a challenge to Commissioner
Marki. With this, Marki agreed that if Robb and his friends could
gather a certain number of voter signatures asking for Marki to
resign, then he would leave the city commission.
The story was picked up around the state, and immediately
became notable in the New York Times as well as the Wall Street
Journal. Markl's comment about gays was even used as a lead-in
for a new book on discrimination against gays and lesbians. It
seemed that the discussion occurring in Traverse City was one of
the first to have public exposure.
Within a matter of a couple days after the challenge was
issued, many more than enough signatures were gathered and a
surprised Marki was confronted for his promised resignation.
Marki declined to resign despite the overwhelming number of
signatures condemning him for his outspoken, anti-gay opinions.
Mysteriously, it appears that some not-so-gentle pressurewas
placed on him by a local person and after this confrontation John
Marki quickly resigned. He then disappeared from public view.
Meanwhile, his statements and the reaction and antics of the
city commission had raised a timely issue-one that would come
years later to small town America around the country. The subject
of gays and lesbians became the number one topic in the RecordEagle and the letters to the editor were numerous. The religious
extremists, apparently led by Matthew Schoech, continued to
gather at the weekly commission meetings to condemn all gays and
lesbians and to quote from the Bible. Locai gays and lesbians also
gathered to state their opinions and defend themselves.
With Markl's resignation, things calmed down. His offhand gaybashing comments sparked a fire in the gay community. Local people
quickly learned that the heretofore invisible gays and lesbians were
their neighbors and coworkers. Area residents were warned by the
religious extremists that Traverse City was quickly becoming a San
Francisco drawing gays and lesbians from the Midwest. Although
this may not have been the case, gays and lesbians began coming
out by writing to the paper and it became clear that there were many
straight supporters of civil rights in the City.
Well, Traverse City never did get its condom machines in the
public restrooms. jasper Weese was defeated the next time he ran
for re-election. Many local gays and lesbians began to come out
and speak up. Friends North grew to become a more significant
and representative organization because of this dialogue around
Markl's opinions. And, now John Marki has been convicted of a
crime that many of us would consider to be done only by those
who are "the most disgusting and filthiest people on earth."

FORMER
T.C. COMMISSIONER
SENTENCED:
REMEMBRANCES
OFMARKL'S
ASSAULT
ONGAYSYEARS
AGO
Staff Writer

John Marki, a former Traverse City commissioner received a
thirty day jail sentence in September from local District Court Judge
Mike Haley for attempted third-degree child abuse. According to
local news reports, Marki had an altercation with his daughter
while on a boat earlier this summer, and during the course of the
argument, he slapped her. The prosecution said that he grabbed
her neck and hit her head on a railing.
Many gays and lesbians will remember Mr. Marki from 1987
when he sat on the City Commission meeting in relative
conservative obscurity.
However, during a controversial
commission discussion about whether to allow condom machines
in city restrooms, he declared that gays were the filthiest, most
disgusting people on earth.
Markl's statement was picked up by a reporter and printed
by the local paper. He quickly became known all over the T.C.
area for his bigoted opinions which gained him much popularity
with the anti-gay elements of the area.
Jasper Weese, a
commissioner who represented older, ultra-conservative fringe
elements in the city, gave him his full support.
The City Commission meetings all of a sudden became popular
and were packed with supporters of gays as well as the local
religious extremists. One of these was Matthew Schoech, rumored
to have been the local head of the John Birch Society, and who was
particularly vocal in his support of Marki. He quickly became

NE1WORKING
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VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Property of the

LAsTING
IMPRESSIONS
by R. Green
Aside from his appearance, which I will describe as best I
can in full in just a bit, most noticeable was his cadenced
explanation of it all-his life to date and the reason for my being
there. He brought it all forth as if it were the requ,irement of
some sect, and penitence would be due if he didn't just keep
on bringing it forth.
The curious demeanor of "let me tell you 'it'-"the"
story I
have seen before. Homos. If you don't play right and listen
right, you don't get to stay very long. Perhaps the need to tell
comes from some feeling of inadequacy. Like having stolen
your sister's doll clothes with a friend, and having repaired to
the tree fort, only to find that your partner is now somewhat
reluctant to commit to such a girl-thing. You got him that far,
"you must do as I do-hear as I want you to hear." Convince
him, force him, make him stay. What if he got away? What if he
told? Or what if instead of the doll's head smashed into the
floorboards, your own head got shoved against the wall like a
counter-to-the-floor dropped melon? Oh these gays and their
little concerns.
Jerry kept the pace for me.
I don't like AIDS pieces. Enough already. It is on its way
out. More people will die. More people will die by not using seat
belts. But as a society we have had enough.
I write for a medium-sized newspaper in anywhere USA,
(Everett, WA). I am using this job to get to something real
downtown. I left college thinking that I could in fact just walk
into a job with a real paper. I have friends who did that. I didn't
because I am serving penitence, working in an office where the
advertising guy has his desk face-to-face touching mine. No
separate office, no partition, he's right there, making his little
deals with little drugstore advertisers selling little statues on sale
this week. "And do you have art from the manufacturer? Is
Who gives a shit.
there an expiration date on this coupon?"
Right there, every day. And so what if the office is next to a
beauty parlor. Not any kind of in this decade hip hair place. A
beauty parlor with big head cones that get lowered onto Aunt
Bea's brain, cooking the gel for 45 minutes, then
voila-Aunt
Bea emerges, mysteriously identically ridiculous as when she
went in. But I digress and I must keep the pace.

enter

Another AIDS piece, oh Christ. I have done these before.
Not to be featured in my Mayberry Tribune, of course. It, the
AIDS thing, it is, it was the issue, and there is a huge gay
community in town, and so enter me into high exposure. I did
my time roaming Capital Hill where the homos live. I dug up
some talkers I did a warm piece. I touched them. I got close. I
showed them I cared. The pieces, three altogether, weren't bad.
Sort of a normal person's peek at the progression of the disease
in three men's lives. The Times actually got interested. Said they
showed something. All three pieces had intros: "Blah, Blah," "I
am angry," "I am hurt," "I am scared." I think the piece showed
my style, but ultimately The Times didn't buy it.
This thing I'm doing today is from the partner of one of my
featurettes who died. A little creepy: He called and wanted to
share something with me. Please-no sharing. Then he said
KLMO, the big TV guys, had got hold of the piece I submitted
to The Times and they wanted to follow-up, actually make
something of it.
I need to take a break on where this piece you're reading
now is going. Christ, I am writing myself into being the callous
guy, converted to being not callous by some warm-hearted
AIDS story. Not, not, not. I really am shallow. Was then. Am
now. I write about stuff and sometimes it gets printed and I
don't want to be excused. If something happened, anything, I
can tell about it as well as I can hustle down alternative pumpkin
recipes for Aunt Bea. It's all just journalism. And that's ok: it's
how informed America learns. No, it's what they learn.
Jerry, the living partner, left this message on my voice mail:
"I have to share something with you," and he leaves his name
and address and where he lives and what day and time I should
be there as if I will just show up because he's an AIDS victim.
And I did. I think he baited me with the TV thing.
Broad hands, well over six feet, full head of hair, wavy,
brown, with a sheen, no trace of any weird over-the-counter
smell. No smell other than a faint human sweetness, perhaps
some normal person's brand of soap mixed with his own smell.
"Thanks for coming," Jerry said. "KLMO wanted to do a
follow-up. I didn't want to be the merry widow so I turned them
down but their probing around got me thinking, dreaming,
actually. I wouldn't have thought to do this on my own but you
lAsTING IMPRESSIONS
continued

14

HELPLine!
Gay? Lesbian? Bisexual? Transgendered?
Have Questions? Need Help?
Cal I: 616/946-1804
or 800/579-8769

OpenMonday-Saturday6:00pm- Sundayat 2:00pm
Confidentially answered any time day or night

NffWORKING45'NORTH

616.,. 935.,. 1666.,. 520 Franklin .,. Traverse City, MI 49684
Proudly Gay Owned and Operated since 1989
-11-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

JL A

I[

IE

JF I[
GROUPS:

(Note: All classified announcements are run without charge. Please
submit them in writing to the Friends North address, or call the
editor at 616-271-3042 and leave the advertisement on the
answering machine along with a contact phone number)

NEWANNOUNCEMENTS:
COMMON VOICES, The Friends North Rap Group, publishes a
monthly newsletter, thanks to Tom Barkley. It will remind people who
choose to be on the mailing list of monthly Common Voices meetings,
dinners and other group activities. Mailing list names, numbers and
addressesare kept in confidence. This information will not be given out
to any inquirers by anyone in Common Voices. (issue 1)

FRIENDS NORTH MEETINGS: The Friends North Board meets on the
first Tuesday of each month (Except August) at 6:30 p.m. at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets, across
from the Old Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 2)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of
men and women who get together monthly for informal discussion,
often on a particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of
every month at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30
pm. For information, call Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at947-4697. (issue 5)
GLSEN,the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Education Network, is meeting monthly
in Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more
information, call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace
Episcopal Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For
more information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Pleasecontact Third Level at 922-4800
or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Pleaseseethe Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSECITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul at 933-0572 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. He will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 5)
WELLNESSNETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday
evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at
341 Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month
the Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans
Drive, Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information,
please call 933-0279. (issue 5)
•
THE PETOSKEYGROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information
please contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 5)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 5)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit
organization that has committed itself to helping and supporti~g the
needs of HIV infected persons. They offer a number of services,
including support groups, education, public awareness, and one-onone friendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena,
Gaylord, and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the
program, please call 616-526-9213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Wednesday at 5:30 pm and Saturday at 11 :00 am at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in TC. For
further info, call John at 922-0746 or Hilda at 938-9294. (issue 2)

ON-GOING
ANNOUNCEMENTS
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-111 O. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue 5)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEYis
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 EastMitchell St. Services are
held on the first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call
347-8916 for details or write POB 873, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0873
(Issue 5)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION.
The group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823.
Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 5)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY
HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, F~EENorplants, DepoProvera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other
methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630.
Services are by appointment only. (issue 1)

HOUSING/RESORTS
ROOM FOR RENT: $275.00/mo. Includes utilities, washer-dryer, and
all house privileges. Call Joe or Corinne at 947-8402 (issue 5)
PAMPERYOURSELF!Spend a romantic or quiet weekend or week in a
beautiful two bedroom home with sauna, fireplace and lake access.Just
3 miles from lnterlochen Center for the Arts. Call 275-5924 for details
and rates. (issue 5)
ROOM FOR RENT: in nice home in East Jordan. Male or Female.
$55.00/wk. plus long distance telephone calls. Nonsmoker. Includes
full house privileges. Tom: 616-536-0308 (issue 5)

PERSONALS:
GAy WHITE MALE, 24, brown hair, blue eyes. I am looking for a friend
to share my thoughts with. I should be home in 1998. I like reading,
music. You can write to me at: Cassidy M. Westeen, #211011, PO Box
5000, Carson City, Ml 48811-5000 (issue 5)
I'm lookingfor a mail friend. Please write to: 10620 E 42, Manton, Ml
49663. Please send pictures. (issue 5)

NE1WORKING
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-12-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for gay,

lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please contact
Brad at 517-354-0841 (Issue2)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting on the last
Monday of each month, 7:30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on South
Airport Rd., T.C. For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Aimee.
(issue 1)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL,WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet thefirst and third
Tuesdayof each month, from 11:30 am until 1:00 at a local, TraverseCity
restaurant.Call Pamelaat 922-0734 or contact FriendsNorth. (issue5)

SUPPORT
SAFESCHOOLS
IN NORTHERN
MICHIGAN
Lesbians, gay men and all sexual minorities (not to mention all
other living creatures!) need civil- rights. Our young people need
to be safe from anti-gay bigotry at school.
The statistics are chilling. 97% of public high school students
report regularly hearing homophobic comments from their peers.
80% of gay and lesbian youth report experiencing severe
isolation. 30% of teen suicides are reported to be committed by
gay and lesbian youth.
Perhaps no influence in the lives of our children is greater than
that of peers and educators. All across the United States and
beyond, communities and school-boards are discussing the issue
of Safe Schools. People, who care, realize that the social
environment within our schools hasa direct impact upon a students
ability to learn; and the integrity and safety of the entire community.
Currently the Michigan House of Representatives is hearing
arguments about HB4674: The Ethnic Intimidation Act (Note: The
LGBT community is NOT protected by The Ethnic Intimidation Act,
as it is currently written). I would like to see our community take
the next step ... a region wide Safe Schools Policy.
To help make schools safe for young gays and lesbians please
support the GLSEN Safe Schools Initiative, including:
antihomophobia programming, youth advocacy, and community
organizations.
For more information, or to volunteer, please write:
GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) - PO Box Nine
- Traverse City Ml 49685 - E-mail: GLSEN TC@aol.com

TOLL FREE NORTHERNMICHIGAN
HELPLINE!
-UPDATEThe Northern Michigan Helpline! (Help and Information Line),
introduced throughout the regional media in February of this year,
is a huge success! Typical calls to the Helpline!
include:
individuals seeking a counselor to discuss coming-out issues, or
NETWORKING
45°NORTH

parents who are attempting to understand what it means for their
child to b~ gay, and also, many professional referrals ... and so
much more.
Helpline! is here to help individuals and families address
concerns about same-gender affectional relationships and
orientation through information, counseling and intervention.
Helpline! staff will respond immediately to help individuals and
families cope with the difficulties they encounter as the result of
bias in our schools, family, church and community, as well as
other emotional concerns.
Please consider making a generous financial contribution to
the Helpline! (whatever you can afford), so that we may continue
to provide this excellent community service. We are a non-profit
community service organization. Your charitable contribution is
fully Tax Deductible within IRSguidelines. Pleasesend your check
or money order today!
Address your check or money order to:
Helpline!
Telecommunications Group - PO Box Nine - Traverse City Ml
49685.
The Helpline! telephone number in Traverse City: 616 / 9461804
If outside Traverse City you may call: 800 / 579-8769

EASTLANSING,
MICHIGAN
MICHIGAN
STATEUNIVERSITY'S
BOARD
OFTRUSTEES
VOTED
...
5 - 3 to extend health benefits and insurance coverage to the
partners of its gay and lesbian faculty and staff, the Detroit Free
Press reports.
The benefits package is strictly for same-sex couples, as
straight couples have the legal option of matrimony, said university
officials.
Michigan State University, the state's largest school, first
debated the domestic partnership proposal last year, but
postponed discussion of the
matter when conservatives in the
state legislature successfully attached punitive measures to an
education appropriations bi II.
Republican Senator Bill Schuette sponsored an amendment last
December for precisely the amount spent on such programs. The
University of Michigan and Wayne State University, both of which
instituted similar programs in 1995, cried foul, prompting
intervention by the state attorney general's office.
Attorney General Frank Kelley ruled last April that the
legislative measure was a violation of university autonomy as
provided in Michigan's constitution, but his decision had its
limitations. Junior colleges, for example, are not protected under
the same statutes as the larger
schools, and can be legally
penalized.
The state legislature also has the right to ask the schools how
much they spend on the gay benefit before making a final decision
on its state appropriation.

-13-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
S • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

LAsTINGIMPRESSIONS
continuedfrompage 11

kept showing up in my dreams and then I had one with you
and Hughy in it and it was weird enough to make me do this
asking of you to come and get the rest of the story."
Out comes this big photo album.
Oh Christ, I think.
"You recall that Hugh lapsed into a coma for three weeks
and then came out of it."
Photo-hospital
bed shot. Good God what a keepsake I say
to myself and he goes on.
"Your interview was shortly after he came out of the coma.
He didn't know everything when he gave you that interview.
That was my fault. He would have said something different. I
don't know what. He would have told you more. No, he would
not have talked. If you would have come back to do a followup piece, you would have seen him like that."
Photo- My God-why this, why did you do this? What could
possibly make this necessary? Why do you show me? I say inside
myself. (Photo shows eyes, such eyes, coming straight into the
lens from a body with plastic straps holding the arms affixed to
the side of the bed.
"Why is he restrained?"
Before speaking, the man looked softly down sideways to
the floor. All shamed. What is this? I think.
"The boy, Tommy, killed himself."
Photos-I look at them to look away from him. Largest
group of people at a family table I've ever seen-probably
Christmas. Jerry and Hugh at one end with a chunky 1O year
old-the boy sharing a knee for a seat from each of the men.
More-a toy plane and the boy, toothless, smiling. Another
photo-the boy on someone's shoulders-I don't know which
of the two.
"Well, I am sorry that the boy killed himself." I say and I
wonder, why me? Time to go.
"I see you're uncomfortable but you needed to know.
Tommy died because he didn't want Hugh to be afraid to die. I
know this because I knew the boy. He didn't want Hugh to be
afraid alone. I hadn't told Hugh about the suicide before your
interview. Hugh wouldn't have really hurt anyone, maybe
himself: the restraints were the last way I could say, 'you must
just be.' It helped, perhaps, to life some of the pain, of knowing
he had been loved so much, and could do nothing to retrieve
his lost nephew. Maybe it was wrong. I thought it would help.
I thought if he were tied up he wouldn't blame himself for being,
you know, alive."
I nod, quick; polite-like, with a little smile.
I did my follow-up and got out well. Yes, Jerry was most
soon gone. I got back to work and found there just wasn't a
Times or the paper to which I
way to work up a story, for the
was billing my time. I logged the couple hours I spent on it to
"dead-end feature."
And at night I have dreamt of seeing a colored still shot of
that fat smiling kid and the dream goes from a photo to a video
or something because the photo starts talking and smiling. I
can't hear it but, I see it move and it tells me to not be afraid
because I am not alone.

CONGRATULATIONS,
RUDY
Michigan Democratic Gay & Lesbian Caucus Chair Rudy Serra
has been appointed to the Detroit Human Rights Commission by
Mayor Dennis Archer. Serra-the author of an article entitled,
"Sexual Orientation and Michigan Law," published in the
September 1997 edition of the Bar Journal- is already recognized
as an expert in Michigan municipal codes, civil rights and sexual
orientation issues.Because the laws which protect gay and lesbian
victims of violence and discrimination are principally local
measures, Sera's appointment puts him in a position to assure
enforcement of the Detroit Omnibus Human Rights Ordinance
and also to provide expertise based upon his personal knowledge
to other governmental entities in Michigan.
From the Michigan Democratic Party Web Page, 9-14-97

A PLACEFORYou
By Rev. Linda L. Wilson
The last few years of my life have been involved, in part, in
healing from some deep hurts. These years have also been spent
growing and stretching my life in fresh pursuits. I have found new
meaning to my faith, by friendships and to my reason for being
here on planet earth! During the years of marriage and service to
God and my church, there was always the issue of unanswered
questions about my sexual identity. I could not give voice to these
questions because I was in a fundamentalist context where such
questions were not asked. I always enjoyed exploring new
concepts and truths, but in that context, exploration was not an
option either unless all conclusions came out the same as they
always had.
As many gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people
(glbt) in a strict religious setting find out, there is not place for us to
worship, praise God, and rejoice in the way we have been made.
For most Christians in this setting, true love and commitment to
God is antithetical to being a "practicing glbt." You cannot be both
they say. As a result, the glbt people I have talked to have either
rejected the Church as a viable place of worship and spiritual
growth, or they reject the concept of God as God has always been
represented to them, or both. I found that it was essential for my
own sanity, to discover why this was so, since I, myself, am both
a lesbian and a Christian who takes my faith seriously.
One of the "fresh pursuits" for me was to engage in a study
from Scripture and history about gay/lesbian, bisexual,
transgender life. The results were most interesting. I have also
been doing much study on the concept of God and a better
representation than was always taught to me. The results are that
I have committed myself to provide a place where people of any
sexual orientation can come and worship and be accepted for
who they are. As part of this commitment, I was ordained to the

("R. Green" is a writer who lives in Traverse City)

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APLACEFORYoucontinuednext page
VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

A PIACE FORYou continuedfrompreviouspage
ministry on August 16, 1997 by Bethel Christian Ministries, Inc.
from Grand Rapids, and have begun a new church called Journey
in Light Ministries. The purpose of Journey in Light Ministries is to
provide a place for spiritual growth for anyone who wants to
follow Jesus Christ, using various means to come to Truth for her/
his life. It is my hope that if you have not found a place to worship
where you feel accepted or comfortable, you will come and try out
Journey in Light Ministries. I encourage an inquiring mind to
question, search and come to meaningful Truth that satisfies your
spiritual needs. I believe that knowledge and application of truth
will bring about healing and wholeness which will ultimately lead
to living responsibly in freedom for gay/lesbian/bisexual/
transgendered and heterosexual people, all of whom are welcome
to be a part of this ministry.
Pastoral counseling for relationship, spiritual and other needs
is available to all people. It is my hope that this ministry will fill the
spiritual needs of some of my brothers and sisters in the gay and
lesbian community, and the community in general.
We had our first service in the Suttons Bay Library public
meeting room downstairs on October 5, 1997 and it was great!
We will be meeting the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month at the
same location at 10:30 am. The Suttons Bay Library is located at
415 Front Street, in Suttons Bay, Michigan (near the Suttons Bay
Marina). If you would like any further information please call me at
(616) 271-2529.
We welcome you to try our new ministry and find out if it will
meet your needs or resonate with your heart.

REFLECTIONS:
AN OUTSIDER
LOOKS
IN

Alan Williams
A year. My, how time flies.
It's been a year since I packed up some of my things and left my
parents'home in central Illinois, ostensiblyto help my brotherfor a month,
but really in searchof a fresh start.I was 28 yearsold, and despite going
away to college, I had returned home to go to graduate school and later
take a job in the area. I had beenliving on my own for a while, but I knew
that moving to TraverseCity was a far cry from living in an apartmentthat
was lessthan a half-hour's drive away from the house I grew up in. ft
meant leaving behind family, friends, and a life I had built for myself over
the years. For some people, such a move is the stuffof dreams.
Not me.
When I moved here, I had high hopes. I'd heard that TraverseCity
had a strong gay community, with resourcesthat were sadly lacking in
central Illinois. But when I got here, it seemed that TraverseCity was a
miniature Peoria,complete with a gay community that reminded me more
of a special club. And I didn't know the secrethandshake.
I'm glad to say that, in many respects,I was wrong.
It all started by chance, with a walk. I started talking to a fellow
pedestrian who happened to be wearing a shirt that said, in French,
"Nobody knows I'm gay." I must admit, if it hadn't been for the word
"GAY" in big letterson the shirt, I would probably still be walking aimlessly
around, wondering where the gay community is outside of the bars.
(Pleasedon't get me wrong: I think SideT raxx is a greatplace to go to have
fun, but when you're going alone and a bit shy to boot, making friends
can be a difficult proposition.)
My fellow pedestrianon that fatefulday told me where to find the local
newsletter,and gave me information about Common Voices (backthen, it
was still just called the Friends North Rap Group). I attended my first
meeting, and shortly thereafter came the holiday dinner, and my first
Christmasaway from home. Somehow,though, it didn't seemquite asbad
as I thought it would be.
I'm 29 now, and as I sit back and look over this pastyear, I think of
NETWORKING
45° NORTH
all the eventsand groupsthat existherein TraverseCity, and I seea mosaic
of social, supportive, and educational gatheringsthat weren't available to
IS Al.SOAVAILABLE
ATTHESE
SELECT
LOCAL
ESTABLISHMENTS:
me in my old home. I still have my concerns about our communityBorder's Books • The Bookie Joint • Horizon Books
apathy, self-segregation,and a certain lack of cohesion that I can't quite
identify-but for the most part, I count myself lucky. In central Illinois, I
lnterlochen Coffee House • JavaSite Coffee House
usually felt like an outsider in the gay community; in TraverseCity, I have
Ray's Coffee House • SideTraxx Nite Club
found my place. I have a new home, and I hope it remainsthat way for a
Out N About Women's Coffee House
long time to come.
Marge and Joanne's B&B

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VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

PROFILE:
KIRK
MAllow
John Evans
One of the many people who
cooperated in the planning and execution
of the Friends North events this past year
was Kirk Mallow, who was born and
raised right here in River City. (I've not
done any research, but I believe we
transplants far outnumber the locals in
Friends North! Maybe, as we have more
of the young people in the organization
Kirk with a friend
this will change.)
(Why does everyone
choose such serious
One of five siblings three of whom
photos?)
were adopted, Kirk grew up in a big
farmhouse on Barney Road.
11
Not a working farm ... grew up playing in the neighbors barns,
helped them bale hay, take care of livestock, etc. I wouldn't have
traded that childhood for anything. It made me appreciate my family
- one of the single most i~portant things in my life - couldn't have
asked for better parents... very supportive."
This led right into a discussion of coming out. "I was 28 years
old, had just bought the house. I had met someone, and that person
moved in with me ... we started getting pretty serious... my parents
started asking questions... so that relationship was the reason why I
told my parents."
My mother took it quite well. My father didn't talk to me for two
weeks. And that was real difficult because my father and I are very,
very close."
It was right after Thanksgiving that Kirk told his parents. Then, on
December 18, the entire family was gathered before grandmother left
for Florida."
It was the first time the entire family had gotten together since I
came out. It took me two week s - I had told absolutely everybody in
the family ... I wanted them to hear it from me.
Everybody accepted it pretty well. .. the only thing remotely
negative was one uncle who said 'well, he can't be gay because he
cuts wood.' I blew his stereotype out of the water, because I hunt
and I fish ... "
December 18th is a day that I will never forget. This was probably
the most difficult thing that my father had to do. I arrived at the party
late... gave them time to mull over the recent news... we ate dinner,

Char P. Kirchner,

opened gifts and then the conversation kind of lulled and I could tell
that things were getting a little tense for everyone... what do we do ...
this is normally the time when Kirk starts in with his antics... I always
have some kind of story to liven things up. But, I just retired back into
the den, fixed myself a drink and went out onto the deck."
I must have been out there ten minutes by myself... it was snowing,
kind of chilly. My father came out on the deck... This was the first time
that I had even been in the same room with him since I told him that I
was gay. He told me 'Kirk I need to talk with you. I can't take this
anymore. I can't stand the thought of you not coming over and having
coffeewith me in the mornings. I can't standthe thought of you not going
for rides in the woods with me, or not being there at deer camp. I don't
understandthis. It's going to take some time to mull this over and digest
all this. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. Will you
work with me here and teach me what I need to know. "
"We both had a good cry that night. I think now we have a
stronger relationship than we ever had. We're still going out to deer
camp. We're still going up north every spring for steelhead."
I asked what reaction his mother has had over time.
11
My mother took about a year to accept everything. Now she
outs me to just about everybody. She was in the dentist's office a few
months ago. The dentist and the hygienist were talking back and forth
and making some derogatory remarks about gays and lesbians. My
mother took the stick out of her mouth and said 'What would you do
if you had a gay son or daughter?' And neither one of them knew
what to say. She said 'Well, I have a gay son and I'm very proud of
him and I don't appreciate what you're saying and I'm sure that he
wouldn't. And I'm really going to have to think about it if I'm going to
continue to be your patient.' And she hasn't been back."
I'm so proud of her. When she told me, tears welled up in my
eyes. Here's my parents going to bat for me again. They're
wonderful."
Long before he came out, Kirk had a relationship with a classmate.
11
1 had a boyfriend all through high school until fall of our senior year.
Up until that point we had talked of getting out of school and getting an
apartment together and how wonderful it would be. We spent every
Saturdaywith each other either at his house or my house.We were in
a conversation one night and I mentioned being gay. Up to that point
that word had never come out in any conversation we had. He looked
at me very puzzled and said 'Well, I'm not gay.' He came from a
religious background and was deathly afraid his parents would find
KIRKcontinuednext page

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-16-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

KIRKcontinuedfrompreviouspage

out. .. He was catching flak from his parents becausehe hadn't been
dating any girls - he really didn't have any interest in girls. We had
talked about that ... maybe we should hang out with girls because
someone is going to start to talk ... but that night we had a huge
argument and ended up going our separateways."
Two yearslater Kirk stood up with this young man at his wedding.
"When he turned to take the ring he looked me in the eye. That was
probably one of the most difficult thingsthat I've ever had to deal with.
It was a very confusing time of my life. It had not been a one-sided
relationship. If he could get married, maybe I'm not gay either."
During this time Kirk dated girls and finally met one to whom he
became engagedand Iived with for three years. But that fell apart and
Kirk finally decided he was not going to pretend any more.
"Those feelings didn't go away."
Through all of this and in spite of the emotional turmoil, Kirk was
gainfully employed at work he enjoyed. Right out of high school he
went to work for a fire safetycompany as a safetycoordinator. This
job took him all over the statesettingup safetyprogramsin universities,
schools, factories, even the state prison system. Among his
company's clients was TraverseCity Area Public Schools. After six or
so yearsof travelling from shoreto shoreand stateline to stateline, he
naturally turned to a familiar place near home.
"I had done safety work for the school systemso I knew the ins
and outs of the entire layout, and I was looking for a change... They
had some positions open. I applied. They called me and I was hired."
Kirk worked at Bertha Vos Elementaryfor several years before
being transferred in Januaryof this year to Norris ElementarySchool
where he is a custodian.
"I am the youngest in historyto havea lead shift custodial position
in the elementary school. I was thirty when I stepped into that
position."
Kirk thoroughly enjoys his work and the children love him.
"They've gotten me a nameplatefor my door that says'Mr Kirk'.
That's the name they gave me. They seemto know when Mr. Kirk is
having a down day and needsa hug."
Outside of his work and his activitieswith FriendsNorth, Kirk has
always done volunteer work with such organizations as Alzheimer's
Association, the March of Dimes, and volunteer work at school.
"I go to NMC and talk every term to the human sexuality class. I
always get the same comment: Kirk, you don't look gay... I enjoy
breaking stereotypes." Kirk is running for one of the positions open
on the Friends North Board next month.

WORDSANDMUSIC:WHAT'SNEWIN
CD'sANDTAPES
BOOKS,
MAGAZINES,
By Rick Gould
With the holidays upcoming, here are some suggestions from
our local book and music stores:
At The Bookie Joint, Shelley recommends: pride jewelry,
bumper stickers, pride T-shirts, and over 1,500 used books of gay
and lesbian interest. Bring in your books to trade and save
money.
From Borders, Aimee's Fall/Winter book picks:
Michael Nava, a consumate storyteller, try "How Town,"
$4.99 or "The Little Death" at $9.95. His newest work, due out
now is "The Burning Plain" at $20.65.
Mark Richard Zubro, whose mysteries keep you guessing
until the final pages, try "Rust on the Razor" at $10.95, "Another
Dead Teenager" at$ 9.95 or "Echo of Death" for $8.95.
Claire McNab, a great wit and character, stars in "Lessons in
Murder" at $10.95. McNab's newest' "Chain Letter" is due out
this month.
"Rita Will," the new biography by Rita Mae Brown, is $22.55.
P.S.: Good books, good coffee, great people ...sound like a
winning combination? Then you ought to stop by the Lesbian and
Gay Book Club at Borders Books & Music. We sit, talk about
books, share a few laughs, and generally have a great time in a
relaxed atmosphere. In November, we'll be reading "Entries From
a Hot Pink Notebook" by Todd D. Brown, which tells the sweet
and funny story of a 14 year old boy coming out, finding love,
and coping in a homophobic school setting. We average about a
dozen people at each meeting, but new faces keep things fun and
interesting. Even if you haven't read the book for the month,
please come by and join the discussion, and help pick the book
for the next month. The group meets on the last Monday of every
month at Borders' Cafe, Espresso,at 7:30 p.m. All book group
titles are 20% off.
At AB CD's, Norm gave us this list:
Andrea Bocelli's "Romanza." This disc has topped all the
charts in Europe for most of the year 1997. Andrea is a wonderful
Italian vocalist and his current disc has finally made a stateside
WORDS& MUSICcontinuednextpage

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-17-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

WORDS& MUSICcontinuedfrompreviouspage

appearance in September. Sung primarily in Italian the set includes
a wonderful duet with Sarah Brightman (Christine from
Phantom
of the Opera), a #1 hit in Europe, "Time to Say Goodbye."
Sarah Brightman - "Surrender - The Unexpected Songs." The
lastest Brightman effort is an import from Canada and is comprised
completely of Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes. Songs from Aspects
of Love, Song and Dance, Cats, JesusChrist Superstar and Sunset
Blvd,-Brightman
delivers.
Loreena McKennitt - "Book of Secrets." McKennitt's seventh
recording and supposedly her last. There is no new ground
covered with this recording but then again why mess around with
proven material?
McKennitt far and wide surpasses her
contemporaries with little studio production and overdubbing.
This is pure composition and delivery with incredible style.
"The Life" - original Broadway Cast Recording - the material
and subject matter seem slightly odd but the performances are
incredible. The plot revolves around the pimps and hookers of
1970s Time Square. Drama Desk Award Winner and Tony Award
nominations abound frorn this musical. Featured performers
range from Sam Harris (Tony nominee), Chuck Cooper (Tony
Award winner) and Pamela Isaacs. Unfortunately, the hottest
ticket on Broadway will see Sam Harris leave the company but the
performance will live on with the soundtrack recording.
At Horizon, Jennifer gave us these selections:
"Walt Whitman: A Gay Life," by Gary Schmidgall, $32.95.
Drawing from Whitman's poetry, private journals and letters, the
author explores Whitman's life as an artist and man.
"The Girls Next Door," by Lindsey Van Gelder and Pamela
Robin Bandt, $13.00. This is a cross-country trip covering the
United States and filled with short stories on lesbian life from all
the states.
"Tuesdays with Morrie," by Mitch Alborn, $19.95. This is the
true story about life's lessonsgiven to us by an elderly dying man.
Alborn, the Detroit Free Press columnist gives us an intimate
account of his friendship with his former teacher.
"Am I Blue?," by Marion Bauer, $5.95. Original short stories
by a variety of famous authors. The stories honestly portray the
subject of growing up gay or lesbian.
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us the following:
"The Accidental Activist," by Candace Gingrich, $12.00.
Sister of Newt's memoir is now out in paper.
"The Farewell Symphony," by Edmund White, $25.00. The
long-awaited final book of the literary trilogy is complete. This is
the follow-up to "A Boy's Own Story" and "The Beautiful Room
Is Empty."
"The Lavender Screen, Revised and Updated," by Boze
Hadleigh, $19.95. This has more films covered in the update to
this fun and irnforrnative book.
"Marcus Schenkenberg: New Rules," by Marcus S., $27.50.
That European supermodel takes an in-depth look at the hardships
of modelling. Pictures? You bet! Plus, an introduction by Gianni
Versace.
Remember, these stores appreciate your comments and business.
NElWORKING
45°NORTH

LOOKING
OTHERWAYHURTSUsALL
reprinted w/permission of
Loraine Anderson, Regional Editor, Traverse City Record-Eagle

I saw my first Queer Reserve Note-a $3 bill with President
Clinton in the oval-at a local gun and key shop about four years ago
during the height of the gay military ban debate.
I said nothing, but I did write a short story. In the story, a lesbian
went to the shop to have a key made and saw the $3 bill. She felt
exhausted. This was what she hated about being out. It was never
over.
Right thought, right action, shetold herselfbefore telling the shop
owner how the $3 bill affected her. Shedidn't usethe word offensive.
It went deeper than that. The $3 bill was hurtful, shesaid. It hurt them
both, but mostly him becauseof his intention. He scoffed.
I saw my second $3 bill last winter at a downtown restaurant.It
was taped to the cash register.I askedthe owner if I could have a word
with him.
"You're what?" he asked when I told him I was a lesbian and that
I found his $3 bill hurtful. He told me I was too sensitive.Neither of us
were angry, nor were we comfortable I left, shaking from fear I'd been
holding off. It had taken me all of my adult life and a short story to get
to that conversation.
I saw my third $3 bill just last month at an area shoe shop. I felt
exhausted.I knew this would mean another round of anguishand soul
searching.
Say something. It's the right thing to do.

Don't say anything. It won't change anything.
Probably not, but you' re not trying to change anyone. You' re just
not letting things like this change you.
Peace, harmony, right thought, right action.

As I drove back to work from the shoe shop, I thought about the
$ 3 bills and the freedom people have to putthem on their wall. I thought
about my freedom to say something about them. I thought about
Disney and the courage it shows by including sexual orientation in its
non-discrimination policies and by giving benefitsto partnersof its gay
and lesbian employees. I thought about the importance of the Ellen
coming-out episode and gay pride events.
I have often likened growing up in a homophobic culture to
growing up in an abusive home where you are battered daily
psychologically and mentally to the point that you don't recognize the
abuse. It keepsyou quiet and isolatedfrom other people like yourself.
Becauseof your isolation, you start believing the hateful things people
say. You are filled with self-loathing.
And you never speak up and neither does anyone else. In the
end, maybe you don't even see it.
This is how oppression blinds and silences.It is in this fearful quiet
that prejudice and stereotypesfesterunchecked, settinga societal tone
that makes people think they can hit "a nigger," and a "faggot'' and get
away with it.
The only antidote is seeing and naming it.
That's why I have to say something about the $3 bills.
They hurt their targets, the people who put them up and our
community. And they won't come down until a lot of straight people
say something.
And I have to wonder if anyone did. Or do we quietly accept $3
bills hanging on walls and cash registersin TraverseCity?
-18-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

NIH STUDYSEEKS
GENETIC
CLUES
TOA
COMPLEX
HUMANBEHAVIOR;
GAY
BROTHER
PAIRSSTILLNEEDED
To talk about "THE gay gene" is misleading, say Dr. Elliot S.
Gershon and his colleagues, researchers at the National Institutes
of Health who are conducting a new genetic study. Unlike a few
diseases for which a single-gene cause has been found, normal
human diversity can't be explained so easily. Instead, Dr. Gershon
says, "like many other complex human behaviors, we expect
multiple genes to be involved in sexual orientation ... a single gene in
a complex trait changes the probability of showing the trait by only
a small amount," interacting in still-unknown ways with other genes
and environmental factors.
Because of this complexity, Dr. Gershon and his group do not
expect their work to have adverse consequences for gay people.
The genes involved may have other effects as well, and attempts to
change or select for one would have little meaning. The group
believes their study "will have a net positive effect, giving us a better
understanding of sexuality and increased acceptance of its
variations.
Designed to locate more than one gene if possible, the NIH
study brings the group's working assumption into the lab. Because
no one knows yet exactly what function each gene in the mix may
have, researchersfirst look for genetic "markers"-tiny sections of
DNA that act as signposts at known locations among the
chromosomes-that appear consistently in a family together with
the trait being studied. When one is found, it indicates a "linkage,"
pointing to a small region of DNA on one of the 23 pairs of
chromosomes a person carries. Further work in that region may
uncover one or more genes actually affecting the trait of interest,
but it's a laborious process that may take years.
The first report of a linkage, like the one found by Dr. Dean
Hamer and colleagues at NIH, can be big news, leading people to
believe that "the gene has been discovered." For scientists it's big
news for a different reason: "Now, maybe we know one good place
to look." Good scientific practice is to verify the linkage finding
before committing precious lab resources to the follow-up work.
The first goal of the new NIH study is to attempt that verification
for the Hamer finding, by doing an independent test of replication.
Preliminary analysis has begun, using DNA from the first 50
participating families.
For the goal of finding additional linkages, at least 50 more
families are still needed to complete the study. Eligible families will
have at least two gay brothers or non-identical gay male twins
participating, plus their parents if available. Participants, who can be
located anywhere in the U.S., will answer a short confidential mailin questionnaire and give a blood sample locally at no cost to them,
for prepaid shipping to NIH. Interested persons are invited to
contact Dr. Gershon's group for more information, by phone at
301-496-8977 (collect calls accepted) or e-mail at gaz@cu.nih.gov
Information on the Web: http://world.std.com/~neurogen/
gstudy.html

GENERATION
GAP
Japiya Burns

There seemsto be a large generation gap between younger gays
ad lesbians and older gays and lesbians. And while this same
generation gap may occur in "straight" society, I believe it can be
particularly harmful within our community. Though I am looking at
the gay community through young, possibly naive eyes I feel as
though this is something that should be changed.
It is widely recognized that adolescence is a difficult time in
people's lives, particularly so for gays and lesbians. While straight
people often have people to turn to, such asfriends, gay youth often
find themselves isolated and lonely, leading to depression, and even
suicide. Straight people benefit from a society which endorses their
sexuality, instead of punishing them for it. They are also socialized
by friends, family, and a society which generally makes them feel
belonged, something gay youth is often denied.
The structure of our community seemsto prohibit the interaction
between older gays and younger gays, which could prove to be
harmful. Gay bars and other social institutions often prohibit people
under 21 from entering. This createsa great divide, and denies young
gays an opportunity to socialize, and be socialized into the gay
community. Gay youth groups, though very positive, often have the
same flaws. They often create a safe haven, at the cost of shutting
out the knowledge and wisdom an older generation has to offer.
By ghettoizing gay youth from the restof the community, they are
missing out on these valuable resources.Positive interaction between
gay kids and older gay men and lesbianscan provide an exchange of
knowledge not provided by a heterosexistworld. Most parentsdon't
teach their children about the ways of the "gay'' world, about dating,
sex, dealing with prejudice, or coming out. Who better to learn from
than those who have already gone through it? Why waste this body
of knowledge and experience?During a very trying period in their lives,
gay children need role models now more than ever.
While suggesting that gay men and lesbians become more
involved with gay youth, Im not advocating pedophilia. In fact, I am
suggesting just the opposite: that gay men and lesbians behave
responsibly. Many of us have experienced difficult times growing up
because of our sexuality, though it seems as if the gay community
has undergone "mass amnesia" and has somewhat abandoned the
gay youth of today. While some efforts are being made, I feel as
though a more hands-on approach would be beneficial. Gay youth
needs to see gay adults as positive members of the community,
people with facesand personalities and lives, not as sexual predators
or as the social deviants society paints us as.
unwound
by Japiya Burns

their bodies are not tightly intertwined now
they're unwound like worn-out tops
spun a lot like laughing bottles
shyly kissing in the end
Uapiya is a college student and lives in Traverse City)

NfIWORKING4S'NORTH

-19-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

PORTUGAL
UPDATE
1997 will go down in Portuguese history as
the year of the gay and lesbian awakening. During
the current year, several major events have
irreversibly changed the Portuguese lesbian and
gay community and given it the largest visibility
ever. During 1996 the first gay and lesbian
organization
became official,
and started
immediately working with the community.
In mid 1996 our organization started political
lobbying in order to equalize the age of consent
between homosexual and heterosexual sex and
to push for a partnership law that would recognize
the rights of homosexual couples.
In January 1997, while the country's first
(national) gay and lesbian newspaper celebrated
it's first birthday, the government approved the
new penal code contemplating the same age of
consent between homo- and heterosexual sex (16
y.o.). On May 4th 1997, roughly 400 people
marched
down
Lisbon's
Liberty
Avenue
remembering those lost to AIDS in the "First AIDS
Candlelight Memorial and March". In early June,
after more than a year of lobbying and a national
campaign directed at the Prime-Minister, the
government party announces a domestic
partnership bill to recognizes the rights of
homosexual
couples
(excluding
adoption),
sparking a national debate over the issue. The
voting on the bill, for political reasons, was
postponed till January 1998. Later, on June the
28th, in Lisbon again, Portugal's first Pride Festival
was held successfully attracting an attendance of
close to 3000 people. In August, the first AIDS
awareness and prevention leaflets targeting the
gay and lesbian community in Portugal, were
published by our organization with the financial
aid of the Health Ministry.
Currently,
from
September
13th
to
September 28th, Europe's largest Gay and Lesbian
Film Festival (in terms of the number of films
shown - 66 different films), the "Lisbon's First Gay

FRIENDS

NORTH,

INC.,

and Lesbian Film Festival", is attracting large
crowds to theaters, selling-out almost all the
screenings in this 15-day festival. The festival is
being staged in three different theaters across
the city and has the patronage of the Lisbon
Mayor. By the end of the film fest, we predict
that approximately 5000 people will have
attended the event.
Later this year, on October the 20th,
Portugal's first Gay and Lesbian Community
Center will open to the public in Lisbon's city
center. The community center will have oneon-one (as well as telephone) legal, medical and
psychological support and counselling; it will be
equipped with a coffee-shop, a documentation
center, a library, an internet access point and a
small bookstore. The large space where the
community center will be functioning was given
to our organization by the City Council and a
grand opening with the Mayor's presence is
already confirmed.
These happenings were unthinkable in
Portugal in 1995, when the gay and lesbian
community were at a total void. Just two years
ago there were no gay and/or lesbi,an
organizations and the concept of community
was something we were used to witnessing in
other developed countries. The radical and
shear speed with which the homosexual
movement has developed over the past 24
months even manages to surprise us. Gay
owned and gay-friendly businesses are starting
to pop up at a steady rate, increasing the overall
quality of life of the community. The Portuguese
miracle seems to be well on its way ... - - If you
have any questions, please don't hesitate to
send us an e-mail.
Gofialo Dumas Diniz
Chairmain of" Association ILGA-Portugal"
Ap. 21281-1131 Lisboa Codex - Portugal
www. i lga-portugal .org
i lga-portugal@ilga.org

BOOK
Margaret Dodd 1997-2001
Traverse City Commission

MARK
her on your ballot
November 4th

:\,I.-\It<;.-\RET

DODD

CITYCOMMISSIONER

''The VOICE for Chonge''
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*
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"I will work to keep our
small town atmosphere while
moving ahead into the next
century."
Please phone me:

947-6913
Paid for by the Committee to Elect Margaret Dodd

P.O. Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49685-0562

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NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-20-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

SAME-SEX
UNIONCOMING
Deb Price

From its perch atop Hawaii's judicial branch, the state's
farsighted Supreme Court can, no doubt, see just how close
same-sex marriage is to becoming a reality.
That legal miracle is probably only months away. It's
absolutely critical that it occur before November 1998, when
Hawaii's voters will be asked whether to amend their
constitution to let lawmakers block same-sex marriage.
Dan Foley, attorney for the three same-sex couples suing
for marriage licenses, expects the Hawaii Supreme Court to
announce soon whether it will hold oral arguments. "Once we
get (a court) order, we can expect a (final) decision within a
number of months," Foley predicts. "We're just
waiting.
"I don't think there's any question - when the decision
comes down what it will be," Foley adds with well-placed
confidence. "Everybody
knows there's really nothing to
decide because the state abysmally failed to meet its burden."
In a preliminary ruling, the Hawaii Supreme Court declared
in 1993 that refusing to grant marriage licenses to same-sex
couples is sex discrimination, which Hawaii's constitution
prohibits. The court's conclusion rested on a simple fact. No
one, regardless of sexual orientation, is allowed to marry
someone of the same sex.
A three-member majority of Hawaii's top court sent the
case back to a lower court, demanding the state prove a
"compelling" reason for the discrimination.
The state's
attempts have failed miserably. As a result, Judge Kevin Chang
ruled in favor of same-sex marriage last December, and
the
case is now back before the Hawaii Supreme Court.
After flailing about trying to concoct a believable
"compelling" reason, the state has switched its chief argument.
Gone almost entirely is the "children would suffer" claim,
which the state's own witnesses demolished
during an
embarrassing two-week trial a year ago. The state has turned
to mainland hired guns for legal help. But, having already had
all its arguments shot down, the state has been reduced to
begging the Hawaii Supreme Court to say its ruling of "sex
discrimination" was wrong in the first place.

That's a sign of total desperation because all three justices
who gave us that decision are still on the court.' And three
votes are all we need on the five-member court to legalize samesex marriage.
The historic 1993 decision was written by Justice Steven
Levinson. It was supported by Ronald Moon, now chief
justice, and Paula Nakayama. A more recent appointee, Justice
Mario Ramil, is an unknown on gay issues but is considered a
pro-consumer, pro-worker, progressive Democrat. Chief
Justice Moon will appoint someone to cast the fifth vote.
(Justice Robert Klein won't participate because he heard the
case as a lower court judge.)
If the court doesn't rule soon, the November 1998 vote
on amending the constitution could be devastating.
Polls show most Hawaii voters oppose same-sex marriage
but are evenly split over amending the constitution. But if gay
couples start legally marrying before the election, voters will
actually face a very different issue: Should citizens lose rights
they already have? That would make it much more likely that
same-sex marriage would win not only in the courts but also at
the ballot box.
In July, the Hawaii Supreme Court rejected the state's plea
for it to intentionally delay its ruling until after the November
1998 vote. It's a positive sign that the court rebuffed the
state's insulting suggestion that, instead of protecting rights, it
should wait to see if those rights are amended out of existence.
Meanwhile, two Hawaii federal cases bear watching. The
first questions
whether the state's new "reciprocal
beneficiaries" law - giving many marriage-like benefits to
partners who can't legally marry- covers private employers'
health plans. The other will decide whether Hawaii must vote
again on whether to hold a constitutional convention, a
potential nightmare.
Marriage can be the union of a man and woman, a man and
man or a woman and woman. That's already the emotional
reality. Count on the Hawaii Supreme Court to make it a legal
reality as well.
( reprinted w/permission of the DETROIT NEWS
September B, 7997, and Deb Price)

AL. Mitchell & Associates
MEMBERS OF BAY BUSINESS RESOURCE GROUP

ANDREW L. MITCHELL
Accredited Business Accountant
Your Home

803-B South Garfield Ave.
Traverse City, Ml 49686
NfIWORKING
45'NORTH

Phone (616) 947-1492
Fax (616) 941-9088

JACQUIE

Food

Spirits

Parties

CATERS!

834 Indian Trail TraverseCity. Ml 40686 phone616,941,8558 fax 616,947,1187

-21-

VOLUME11 • ISSUE
5 • NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

BEARS

MOREON CHRYSLER
Hello,
Today (mid August, 1997) I was confronted with more blatant
lies from Chrysler management. After anti-gay harassment/
discrimination I have been suffering climaxed on May 7, 1997; I
have been on a medical from May 8 to last Friday. Today was my
first day back to work. For months (since February) Chrysler has
been touting to the press that they added the words "sexual
orientation" to the "Standards of Conduct" posted in every
facility. The standards were supposedly revised January 2, 1997.
However, today once again I looked at the standards posted in
my work place and only the old copy can be found. The
standards are kept in a locked glass enclosure so they cannot
claim that they were removed.
Every person I have ever spoken with at Chrysler has stated
that not one "new" standard has been posted or can be found on
the factory floor as they should be. When today I asked Diversity
Director Monica Emerson why they have not been posted after
OVER SEVEN MONTHS, she stated that the "appropriate"
persons had been notified to post the standards and she assured
me that the new standards were posted everywhere that they
should be. For Chrysler to tell "In The Life" national TV program,
"The New Yorker" and other media that they have a "new"
"Standards of Conduct" posted when it is not true is completely
inexcusable.
No wonder Chrysler is being sued by the National
Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) and
also the State of California for deception.
In addition, two certified letters I sent to Monica Emerson
and also my immediate supervisor via certified mail on May 22,
1997 have never been answered in any way. The letters
detailed how I was being treated in the weeks before my
medical. The treatment including being yelled/swore at by coworkers for NOT doing a job in an unsafe manner, confronted
in a threatening manner by a co-worker hovering (standing)
over me as I was on my hands and knees trying to do a job and
also having a work partner refusing to help as I tried to plan the
best way to accomplish a task we were given.
If there are any other Chrysler employees who have not
been able to find the new standards posted anywhere (just as
the rest of us), please let Monica Emerson know at: 248-5122160 or by fax at: 248-512-2151. Also anyone can call this
number to inquire as to why they tout the new standards to
the media when the issue of discrimination arises but they
refuse to post them on the factory floor.
To put it bluntly, nothing has changed at Chrysler
Corporation. The crumbs they have tried to show as positive
steps have all been shrouded in lies and deception. I felt that
our community has a right to be aware of this.
Thank you for your time and consideration.

Gerald Nye, Secretary
North West Michigan Bears

The Wellness Network-Grand
Traverse is this years
receipient of funds raised at North West Michigan Bears first
annual "Bears in the Dunes" charity run. The event was held
September 12th-14th at the Douglas Dunes Resort in Douglas,
Michigan.
Richard Barr was the winner of the 50/50 drawing and
donated his winnings to the Wellness Network.
Tony Ramirez was chosen as "Mr. North West Michigan
Bear" by an independent panel of judges and will represent our
organizatino for the next year.
North West Michigan Bears is a gay mens charitible/social
group which meets at least once a month in the Traverse City/
Cadillac/Petoskey area. For more information about North
West Michigan Bears or "Bears in the Dunes-2" write us at
P.O. Box 283 Northport, Ml 49670 or call 616-386-5203
evenings.

Sincerely,
Ron G. Woods 810-545-7699
MichRook@aol .com
NE1WORKING
45°NORTH

-22-

VOLUME
11 • ISSUE
S • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
1997

Prop<crty of the Center

Univili1[111111
J1]/jj~)
1!i'~l~[1i11llr~~~lif
1~J
,r·OK
M 001 111 476
She's not the only one I heard from with a similar reaction to
Gay Day at Disney World.
An o·ld college friend sent an e-mail confessing that her
liberalism was tested when she found herself trying to explain to
her 4-year-old son why the two men in front of them in line for a
Dumbo ride were kissing.
"Well, um, you see, um ... Uhhh ... "
Maybe the best answer would be simply to tell the truth"They love each other" -and leave it at that.
I'm with Mason and my old college friend on this: A children's
park is not the place to be advertising your sexuality, gay, straight
or anything in between.
The flap over Disney Gay Day is about something a lot more
basic than homosexual rights or those much-trumpeted family
values.
It's about appropriate behavior in a public place.
It's about common courtesy.
As Mason asked: "Whatever happened to manners?"

COURTESY
IS REALISSUEATDISNEY'S
GAYDAY
John Grogan
Reprinted w/permission from the author
and Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel 8/31/97

Donielle Mason does not consider herself particularly
prudish. And, while she agrees with the Bible on homosexuality,
she has always taken a "live and let live" attitude.
So why has the 22-year-old law student from Fort Lauderdale
joined the Southern Baptists' boycott of Walt Disney?
It has something to do with the man on the leash.
Mason went to Disney World with a group of friends on the
first weekend of June 1996. What she did not know was that her
trip fell on the same day that thousands of homosexuals were
arriving at Disney World for so-called "Gay Day."
Her first hint came on the shuttle bus to the Magic Kingdom
when she noticed men sitting on each others laps and holding
hands. No big deal.
Once inside the gates, however, the displays became more
brazen, she said.
"They had their hands all over each other. Touching, really
touching, in front of children. They were goosing each other and
French kissing. And just saying things to each other within
everyone's earshot that were just gross."
Then she saw one man leading another man, slave style, by a
leash.
That was when Mason's mild discomfort turned to anger.
"I have homosexual friends," she said. "It's not like the
homosexuality itself was shocking to me. It's how crude they were
being. And just so bold.
"It would have been equally disgusting to me if it was a man
and a woman doing the same thing."
Deception by Disney?

Not everyone was acting out. "It was about half and half." she
said.
"There were a lot of people who were just there to have fun,
but there was an overwhelming number displaying their
homosexuality in every way they could."
As a college undergraduate, Mason was a music major and
theater minor and knew many openly gay people.
"But this Disney experience was different," she said. "These
were fanatical gays with an agenda. These were not 'live and let
live' people.
Disney insists it does not organize or promote Gay Day. But
Mason thinks the company is being disingenuous.
"When a corporation says, 'We are for children,' and caters
to children, and then seems to have these secret agendas, that's
deceptive in my opinion."
So Mason, a practicing Christian (but not a Southern Baptist)
who was home-schooled as a child, decided to join the boycott.
"They [Disney) are making a statement to me, and I want to
make my statement, as small as it may be, right back to them," she
said.
NE1WORKING
4S°NORTH

Always looking for comments from our readers - Do
you find this article homophobic?
- Is this view point
valid? - Should space be reserved for "opposing views"
of the gay community in the pages of this newsletter? What's your opinion. Let us know.

FriendsNorth,Inc.,
P.O.Box562
TraverseCity,MI49685-0562
WORLDAIDSDAY continuedfrom page 1

of our solidarity, hope for the future, memory of the past, and
to inspire increased awareness of the prevention of HIV/AIDS.
This year we walk for all those children locally and
internationally - who have become infected with AIDS, and
for those who, through better education, and public
awareness, can be prevented from being infected.
Around the world, we commit ourselves to a better
understanding of the magnitude and diversity of the impact of
HIV/AIDS on children, their families and their communities. The
world community must work for a stronger commitment,
improved policies and increased action for preventing infection
and minimizing the epidemic's impact on children, their families
and their communities, and we seek increased and improved
access to quality education and information on the prevention
and care of children with HIV/AIDS. We also seek greater
understanding of children's rights, human rights and HIV/AIDS.
Please come to this important celebration - for yourself,
for the children, for the future. Your presence illustrates a
commitment to our community, and especially to our children.
Standing together, joined with communities around the world,
we can give hope to children in a world with AIDS.
(Stacie Fine is the Rabbi of Congregation
Ahavat Shalom of Traverse City.)

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VOLUME
11 •ISSUES• NOVMEBER/DECEMBER
1997

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LOCALSPIRITUAL:

STATEANDNATIONAL
HOTLINES

Rev.GeraldineColvin& Rev.DavidFlorence
616-932-9587
800-347-HATE UnityChurch,3600FiveMile,TraverseCity ...........
800-872-AIDS Rev.EmmyLouBelcher
Fellowship
of GrandTraverse
800-347-TEEN UnitarianUniversalist
6726CenterRd.,TraverseCity-Home:938-9078... Office:947-3117
Rev.NancyHayward,
Circleof theSacredEarth.........
616-223-7999
STATEWIDE
SERVICES
Rev.
Linda
L.
Wilson,
Journey
In
Light
Ministries
.........
616-271-2529
SOCIALI POLITICAL
I MEDIA
TheNetwork:LesbianandGayCommunity
Networkof W. Michigan
LOCALCOUNSELING:
909CherrySt.S.E.,GrandRapids,Ml 49506 .........
616-458-3511 ThirdLevelCrisisIntervention,
.......................
616-922-4800
LavenderMorning
1022E. FrontSt.,TC,Ml 49686................
and800-442-7315
P.O.Box50729,Kalamazoo,
Ml 49005 ..............
616-685-6061 Women'sResource
Center..........................
616-941-1210
Kalamazoo
Resource
Center
RodgerLandvoy,PHD .............................
616-929-1711
P.O.Box1532,Kalamazoo,
Ml 49005 ...............
616-345-7878 SusanBreuerPHO(Frankfort/TraverseCity) ...........
616-352-4261
MargoMillion,ACSW ..............................
616-947-0511
Affirmations
Lesbian/Gay
Community
Center
DavidBlisk(MapleCity) ............................
616-228-5105
Suite110,195W. NineMileRd.
616-947-8842
Ferndale,Ml 48220..............................
810-398-7105 JoannaT. Lauber,MA,OTR,CHt .....................
Barbara
Jones
Smith,
PHO
..........................
616-947-1444
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations{lndex.htme
ElizabethMost,MSW,ACSW(Petoskey)...............
616-439-0656
LansingAssociation
of HumanRights
WilliamD. Gould,MA(Gladwin)......................
517-426-2351
P.O.Box18062,Lansing,Ml 48826.................
517-332-3200 DavidRushlow,
ACSW,MunsonMedicalCenter.........
616-935-6385
e-mail ...................................
lahr@macatawa.org BayAreaCounseling
(Petoskey/Harbor
Springs)
LesbianConnection
MargaloBley,MSW,ACSW .......................
616-348-3616
P.O.Box811,EastLansing,Ml 48826...............
517-371-5257 DanielC. Doran,PHO,CSW ........................
906-635-9263
TriangleFoundation
(Lesbian/Gay
Foundation
of Michigan)
LoisMartindale,
Ph.D.,Benzonia.....................
616-882-5888
abusereferralagency)
19641W.SevenMileRd.,Detroit48219 .............
313-537-3323 CDRS(afreesubstance
929-1315
or 800-686-0749
.........................................
Fax:313-537-3379 808-AS. Garfield,TraverseCity ..........
email .......................................
trijeffm@aol.com
LOCALSERVICE/SOCIAL/POLITICAL
BetweenTheLines(newspaper/monthly}
...............
810-615-7003 FriendsNorth(information
line) ......................
616-946-1804
33528EightMile,Ste.185A3,Livonia,Ml 48152 ... FAX810-615-7018 Common
Voices- F/NRapGroup ....................
Ed- 947-4697
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
...........................................
Tom- 275-6127
TheThirdCoast(magazine/monthly)
..................
616-451-4903 WindfireGay& LesbianYouthSupportGroup-1322Hurd,SE,GrandRapids49506 ............
FAX616-451-0915 CallThirdLevelfor location& time .... 616-922-4800
or 800-442-7315
e-mail ...................................
lllrdCoast@aol.com SideTraxxNiteClub,520FranklinSt.offof 8thSt. ....... 616-935-1666
TraverseCityHumanRightsCommission,
400Boardman. 616-922-4700
MichiganPride,Inc.(Statewide
PrideMarchorganization)
Gay
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
P.O.Box16191,Lansing,Ml 48901.................
517-371-8466
at Boardman,
TC .... John616-922-0746
e-mail .......................
MiciganPridelnc@unforgetable.comGraceChurch,Washington
..........................................
jdevans@gtii.com
........................................
Hilda616-938-1294
NATIONAL
SERVICE
I SOCIALI POLITICAL P-FLAG,TraverseCity,POB1705,Acme,Ml 49610. Cindy616-271-5045
P-FLAG:ParentsandFriendsof Lesbians
andGays
GLSEN(Gay/Lesbian/Straight
Education
Network)
101214thSt. NW,Ste.700,Washington,
DC20005.... 202-638-4200
POBox9, Traverse,Ml 49685 .....................
616-943-5050
GLAAD:Gay/Lesbian
AllianceAgainstDefamation
NOW(NationalOrganization
forWomen)GailTrill ....... 616-938-1333
80VarickSt.,#3E,NewYork,NY10013 .............
212-807-1700
LOCALHIV/AIDSHEALTH
COUNSELING:
.........................................
Fax:212-807-1806
WellnessNetworks,
GTA,Inc., ...............
616-947-1110
email .....................................
glaadnatl@aol.com HIV/AIDS
P.0. Box1632,TraverseCity,MI49685 . . . . . . . . . . . 1-800-494-1160
NationalGayandLesbianTaskForce .................
202-332-6483
BusinessOffice .................................
616-933-0279
232017thSt.,NW,Washington,
DC20009 ....... Fax:202-332-0207 HIV/AIDS
WellnessNetworks- HIVSupportGroupand
LambdaLegalDefenseandEducation
Fund ....... 212-809-8585
x 205
FamilyandSignificant
OtherSupportGroup ..........
616-947-111
O
120WallSt.,NY,NY10005 ...................
Fax:212-890-0055 ThomasJuddCareCenter,1211W FrontSt.,TraverseCity,
ACLULesbian/Gay
RightsProject
MaryDillinger,RN,ClinicalNurseSpecialist..........
616-935-8140
1370MissionSt.,SanFrancisco,
CA94130...........
415-621-0674 DavidRushlow,
ACSWSocialWorker ...............
616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S.
(HIV/AIDS
Support:Petoskey)............
1-800-248-6777
HRC:HumanRightsCampaign
(NationalComingOutDay)
HealthClinic............................
616-929-4448
101214thSt. NS#607,Washington,
DC20005 ....... 202-628-4160 Community
(anonymous
counseling/testing;
same-day
resultsnofee)
.........................................
Fax:202-347-5323
616-929-1844
e-mail .....................................
www@hrcusa.org NorthernMichiganPlannedParenthood................
(anonymous
counseling
&
testing)
GayandLesbianVictoryFund,PoliticalActionCommittee
GrandTraverseCountyHealthDepartment.............
616-922-4831
101214thSt.NW#707,Washington,
DC20005 ....... 202-842-7679
(anonymous
HIVTestingCenter)
GLSEN,GayLesbianStraightEducation
Network........ 212-727-0135 EmmetCountyHealthDepartment
(Petoskey)...........
616-347-6014
121West27 StreetSuite804,NY,NY10001 .... Fax:212-727-0-254 AlsocalltheDistrictHealthDepartment
in yourarea
Department
of JusticeHotline(forreporting
HateCrimesagainstgaysandlesbians).............
Michigan
WellnessNetworks........................
Gay/Lesbian
NationalYouthHotline..................

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