extracted text

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volume 21, number 12

december 2003

Gay Marriage Poised to Become
"Wedge" Issue in 2004 Elections
he stakes are getting higher as same-sex marriage becomes the hot political topic for 2004. In the most recent development, the Massachusetts Supreme Court
ruled in November that same-sex couples are legally entitled
to wed under the state constitution, but stopped short of allowing marriage licenses to be issued to gay and lesbian couples. Instead, the high court ordered the legislature to come
up with a solution within 180 days.
of the Family
Connie Mackey
Research Council
criticized the
ruling, saying it
was "a clear
case of the courts
overruling the
majority opinion of
the people."
Elizabeth Birch,
director of the
Human Rights
Campaign, countered that the
$.$~•$~~ ®amaQ-~
courts are not
obliged to support
a majority of the
people. "If not for courts, African-Americans would not have
had the right to vote, women would not. have the right to.
vote," she said. "The purpose of a constitution is to protect a
minority group from the wrath of the majority."
The U.S. House is now considering a federal constitutional
amendment, the federal Marriage Amendment, that would
ban same-sex marriage and effectively trump the Massachusetts court ruling. President Bush waded into the debate
with a statement criticizing the ruling. "Marriage is a sacred
institution between a man and a woman," he said. "Today's
decision ... violates this important principle. I will work with
congressional leaders and others to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage." Last month, Bush
declared October 12-18 as "Marriage Protection Week." Bush
has also opposed nondiscrimination and hate crimes legislation, same-sex partner recognition, gay adoption, and lifting
the ban on openly gay service members.
The Federal Marriage Amendment is being heavily promoted in an unprecedented campaign by the religious right
and the political right. A prime goal of this effort is to permanently define marriage in this country as being between
one man and one woman and to prohibit any court from interpreting any law or state constitution to extend any bene

T

.it_·Berland Winter Solstice and
Holiday Potluck Dinner ·

Sunday, December 21, 6 pm
(followed by Herland board meeting at 7 pm)

Join us as we celebrate the solstice and a ioyful holiday season at Herland. Bring your favorite entree,
salad, or dessert dish and we'll provide a variety of
beverages and lots of holiday cheer!
Herland is also collecting holiday gifts for the womyn and
children at the YWCA Passageway Women's Shelter for all
who care to donate. Gifts can be brought to the potluck
and Herland will deliver them to Passageway. (Please see list
of needed items on page 4.)
After the potluck is our last board meeting of the year
where we will be planning our events for next year. Everyone is welcome to stay, you don't need to be a board member to give your input!

(continued on page 5)

•

World AIDS Day
December 1} 2003

www.herlandsisters.org
herland sister resources, 2312 nw 39th, oklahoma city, ok 73112
(405) 521-9696
email: herlandsisters@cox.net
bookstore hours: saturdays 1-5 pm

I

·

Saint Sybil
Dear Saint Sybil,
People are talking about Jessica Lynch as if she didn't belong in the Army. A columnist for the Oklahoman - a woman, no less - said that she was
a "little girl", not a "soldier". What do you make of all this, Syb? Personally, I'm feeling attacked!
You see, I thought I was a Soldier too.

Dear Soldier,
Poor Jessica Lynch. Columnists and commentators are having such a holiday "proving" that women don't belong in combat, all because Jessica Lynch is a
small woman - 'a slip ofa girl" - who, understandably aher all her wounds and trials, _appears frail and fragile, and wouldn't we all like to protect her? Much
is made ofhow terrified she says she was during the firefight and rescue. But what is truly impressive is her naive and refreshing honesty. Does anyone
really believe that any ofthe men involved were not terrified also? They just know better than to say so, even if anyone thought to ask.
No one dares openly blame Jessica for her rifle jamming, but there is an innuendo in most of these articles indicating that the rifle jammed because -she
just wasn't very good with a gun and she shouldn't have been there in the first place. Well, in the first place, Jessica graduated from basic training and was
neither frail, fragile, nor inept with a rifle. The fad is, we are supplying our at-risk soldiers with junk for weapons. Here is an excerpt from the Daily Oklahoman 11/23/03 about the weapon being used in this war: ' . ..the [too bulky} M-16, which also is prone to jamming in Iraq's dusty environment''... Jessica's
was not the only American's rifle to jam in Iraq.
These attacks upon Jessica are all the more damaging, disheartening, and infuriating because to a man (or honorary man, in Kathleen Parker's case) they
ooze sympathy and sentimentality toward her, aH the while implying she ought never to have been in the military to begin with, and all the whlle giving no
instance of what she did wrong, or what she did unsoldierly, of why she didn't belong there.
Now, l'H be happy to tellyou why she didn '!belong there: no Americans belonged there, America never should have attacked Iraq in the first place. But if
young men can find their way out ofpoverty and Podunk byjoining the military, so too shouldyoung women be able to.
And why is the military the only way out for so many youth? Perhaps if some of the hundreds ofbillions of dollars going to the Iraq war had gone to domestic programs, Jessica and her brothers and sisters in arms would not have had to place themselves in harm's way. But that, my dear, is a story for another day. So ofcourse you're a soldier and so is Jessica Lynch, andyou must pay no attention to what the troglodytes say.
Some people complain that Jessica was rescued only because she was a woman. That may or may not be true, it may or may not be tme that the administration was looking for a feel-good story during those early days and was not above manufaduring one. Certainly they were not above falsifying the fads in
the case, and it is to Jessica's amazing and etemal credit that she has refuted the falsely glorified story and refused to be lionized as a hero. As for the
rescue, there are all manner of reasons for rescue attempts. In 1945, George Patton sent a team of 300 men to rescue American prisoners of war inside
Germany. Most of the rescue team was killed or captured The on'ginalAmerican prisoners, including Patton's very nice son-in-law Johnnie Waters, remained imprisoned until the war's end That rescue attempt wasn't Johnnie's fault, and this rescue wasn't Jessica's fault.
Pray for peace,
Sybil

Thanks to the Artists!
Herland's Silent Art Auction, held in conjunction with our Anniversary Open House and Tret Fure concert, was a marvelous event. Our patrons - oops, matrons - oops - friends opened their hearts and pocketbooks and brought some wonderful art into their homes. We want to extend one more time our heartfelt gratitude and appreciation to the wonderful artists whose generous donations made this possible: Cathy Bowman, Kathy Buttry, Sue Clancy, Michele Dillehay, Diana Faulkner, Gail Garloch, Anthea Maton, Bernadette
Martinez, Deidre Murray, Connie Seaboum, Judy Sullens, Tommy Thomas, Dana Tiger, and Hanke Vanderwel. We also want to give special thanks to Anthea Maton for setting up
her awesome art installation in our new-books room .
·

Berland Anniversary Pins
and Booklets for Sale
If you missed the Herland 20th Anniversary Celebration but would like a
commemorative pin and/or booklet,
they are available!
The Herland anniversary
pin is a 3/4" photo-etched 2:-: ~TIJ) Tr ;~\ 1)>· 1:1·[~"
J.C-JlJ.t;sJl~LL~i~Jl\~ h.J/ '. color lapel pin with the design shown above. The
*
booklet is a 40+ page her... story of Herland with a
month by month listing of
people and events for the
last twenty years. Also, in
the back is a list of past
board members by year.
~
Pins and booklets are avail1983-2003
able
at the bookstore for
Celebrating 20 Years
only $5 each.

Happy 20th Anniversary, Sisters!
(The following note arrived with an enormous bouquet of flowers on the
Saturday morning of our 20th anniversary celebration.)
To Herland Sister Resources,
HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY, SISTERS! YOU HAVE CREATED
A MAJOR MIRACLE IN OKLAHOMA CITY!
To the founders and current supporters of Herland Sister Resources: Your work may go mainly unheralded, but believe me, it
has saved a life or two, more than you know, no doubt. For
readers, and writers, and friends, and lovers, and lost souls who
just need to see some friendly faces, you have been there. In this
time, when more and more feminist bookstores are going under,
and fewer and fewer services for feminist and lesbian sisters prevail, you are there. KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON, AND KNOW
THAT YOUR EFFORTS COUNT SO VERY MUCH EVERY SINGLE DAY IN THE LIFE OF WOMYN IN OKLAHOMA
Love to one and all, from your ardent ~ister feminists in Denver, Colorado.
Vicki P. McConnell, Peg Lehr, and the estate of Nancy Sue White

Herland Book Club
The Herland Book club will meet at 7 pm on Monday,
December 1st to discuss The Passion of Artemisia, by
Susan Vreeland.
Our January book will be Sisters of the Earth, an Anthology of Women's Prose and Poetry edited by Lorraine
Anderson. There are three copies in the Oklahoma Metropolitan Library System, and at least one copy available
at Herland. The book is also available from Amazon for
$10.50 plus shipping and Barnes & Noble for a list price
of $15. Among the writers in this provocative book are
Joy Harjo, Susan Griffin, Marjorie Rawlings, China Galland, Willa Cather, Alice Walker, Edna St. Vincent Millay,
Rachel Carson, Marge Piercy, Barbara Deming, Paula
Gunn Allen, and Ursula Le Guin. Wonderful thinkers,
writers, and reading. See you next year!

Herland Supper Club & Movie Night
Herland Supper Club will meet at 6 pm on Saturday, December 13th, at Herland for a Pizza and Movie Night.
We will order vegetarian and meat pizzas and any other
items that folks want.
The movie shown will be Lost
and Delirious, a 2000 release
about three adolescent girls
discovering first loves and sexual passion. After the romance
of Paula and Tory is discovered,
their love for each other and
their close friendship with
roommate Mary are tested by
parental opposition and social
condemnation. This is a tale of
love's blooming, its innocent
ecstasy and its ultimate obsessions·.
We also will be accepting
holiday gifts for the YWCA Passageway Women's Shelter
for those who wish to bring an item (see list page 4).
For more info, call Ginger at 942-1535.

•••••••••• ••• ••••••••••••••• ••• ••
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: HERLAND EVENTS CALENDAR
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Monday. December1: Herland Book Club, 7 pm
Sunday. December 7: Bernadette Martinez art opening, Old
Trinity Gallery, 3000 N. Lee, 2-6 pm
Monday. December 9: OGLPC Monthly Meeting at the Center,
2135 NW 39th, 7 pm
Saturday. December 13: Herland Supper Club and Movie Night
at Herland, 6 pm
Saturday. December 13: Herland Hike at Martin Nature Park,
5000 W. Memorial, 10 am
Sunday. December 14: Womyn of Color Meeting, call 8423464 for details
Sunday. December 14: Sisters of Swing Christmas Shows,
Epiphany Church, 7336 W. Britton (west of Rockwell), 2 pm
& 7 pm, $5
Thmsday. December 18: YGLA Spaghetti Dinner and Talent
Show Fundraiser, Church of the Open Arms, 6 pm
Sunday. December 21: Herland Potluck at 6 pm followed by
Board Meeting, 7-ish, everyone welcome for one or both
Friday. December 26: Peggy Johnson after Christmas Concert, Church of the Open Arms, 3131 N. Penn, 8 pm

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Website of the Month

Freedom to Marry Coalition
www.ftmmass.org

Herland Hiking
The Herland Hiking Group will have its regular monthly
outing to Martin Nature Park, 5000 W. Memorial, at 10
am on Saturday, December 13th. There is also an optional coffee gathering beforehand at Panera's, comer of
Memorial & Meridian, at 9:30 am.

Womyn of Color
Womyn of Color group meets the 2nd Sunday of each
month. Please email womynofcolor@gay.com or call
(405) 842-3464 or (405) 947-7691 for more information.

Native American Women

Don't Forget to Support the Voice!
Your contribution is important! Just $12 a year will help
us pay for the $300+ it costs every month to print and
mail the newsletter.

D

Enclosed is a contribution for $ _ _ __

D

Please add me to the mailing list for The Voice.

•

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• Monday. January 5: Herland Book Club, 7 pm
: Monday. January 20: Martin Luther King Jr. Parade
s

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D Please change my address (new address below).

OKC Two-Spirit Society is having meetings for lesbian
and bi-sexual women of Native American descent.
Please call the OKC Two-Spirit Hotline number at ( 405)
317-7283 for information about the next meeting.
City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ State _ _ Zip _ __

•

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YWCA Passageway Shelter's Wish List for Children and Moms

Women and Friendship

This holiday season, Herland is again collecting items for donation to the YWCA
Passageway Shelter. The YWCA Passageway Shelter is the only shelter in Oklahoma City exclusively serving women and children who are the victims of domestic violence. Passageway is an emergency shelter, providing help in obtaining legal services, transportation, housing information, medical care, child care
and advocacy services for up to two months. Clients attend domestic violence
education and support groups during their stay. Child advocates offer education
and support to help children avoid further victimization, verbalize feelings, learn
appropriate ways to express emotions, and understand what is occurring in
their families.
Please bring items to the Herland Supper Club/Movie Night, the Herland Solstice Holiday Potluck Dinner or drop off at Herland on any Saturday before December 21st. Items should not be wrapped and please label boxes or sacks
with "YWCA". At this time no personal hygiene items {although bath gifts are
okay) or stuffed animals are needed. Monetary donations may be made to the
YES! Transitional Housing Program. Contact Susan Stewart, (405)948-1770 for
more information.

We have always known at Herland how
important friendships between women
are, and now there are scientific studies to
prove it. In five decades of study of
stress, mostly on men, scientists have
come to believe that stress triggers hormones that gear the body to either "fight
or flee", an ancient survival reaction helpful around sabre-toothed tigers. Recent
studies on women, however, suggest that
our chemical response to stress releases
brain chemicals that cause us to make
and maintain friendships with other
women.
According to Dr. LC. Klein of Penn
State, it seems that when the hormone
oxytocin is released as part of the stress
response in a woman, it buffers the "fight
or flight" response and encourages her to
tend children and gather with other
women instead. When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and
produces a calming effect. This calming
response does not occur in men, says Dr.
Klein, because testosterone-which men
produce in high levels when they're under
stress-seems to reduce the effects of
oxytocin. Estrogen, she adds, seems to
enhance it.
Dr. Klein believes that the "tend and
befriend" mechanism may explain why
women consistently outlive men. Social
interaction is proven to reduce our risk of
disease by lowering blood pressure, heart
rate, and cholesterol.
There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that
friends are helping us live longer. Friends
are also helping us live better. The famed
Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends
women had, the less likely they were to
develop physical impairments as they
aged, and the more likely they were to be
leading a joyful life.

~----------------------------------------,---------------------------

Children's Wish List
Board games {for all ages)
Leaming/developmental toys {for all ages)
Children's reading books (for all ages)
Baby Dolls
Tonka cars and trucks
Basketballs and footballs
Children's pajamas/slippers (for all ages)
Model airplanes and cars (kits for assembling)
Infant toys and rattles
Building blocks {for all ages)
Puzzles (for all ages) .
Play Dough (preferably name brand)
Accessories for making Play Dough creations
Coloring books/Crayons - 16 count boxes
No stuffed animals needed at this time

Wish List for Moms
Robes, House Shoes
Planners/Notebooks/Journals
Wall Calendars
Tote Bags
Craft Items
Heating pads
Hair dryers
Curling Irons
Gloves
Board games (ages 12 & up)
Lamps, Clock Radios
Umbrellas
Hats/Scarves
Insulated mugs
Manicure Sets
Coats

PROUbLY ANNOUNCING
THE OPENING OF MY LAW OFFICE
A. TERRY COCON
f'

The Voice is published by Herland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 NW 39th, Oklahoma City,
OK 73112. The Voice is offered as an open

6425 EAST RENO SUITE #106
MIDWEST crry, OKLAHOMA 73110 ·
(405) 922.:.7366
r

forum for community discourse. Articles reflect
the opinions of the author and not necessarily

Divorce • Child Custody • Paternity
Child Support • Modify Decree • Contempt
' Domestic Violence • Guardianship

those of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited
articles and letters to the editor are welcomed
and must be signed by the writer with full name

\

CALL ME FOR ALL YOUR LEGAL NEEDS
LEGAL SERVICES YOU CAN TRUST AND. AFFORD

and address. Upon reques~ letters or articles
may be printed under a pseudonym or anonymously. Subscriptions to The Voice are free
upon request although a donation is requested
to meet publication and distribution costs.

(continued from page 1)

fits associated with marriage to samesex couples. Jerry Falwell recently
claimed that the coordinated efforts
had resulted in one million signatures
on petitions in support of the constitutional amendment. (At last count, the
amendment had 96 co-sponsors in the
House of Representatives. The proposed amendment must be approved
by two-thirds of the House and the
Senate and then ratified by threefourths of the states.)
Vermont is the only state in the
United States that allows same-sex
couples the rights and benefits of
marriage. Vermont calls them civil
unions, rather than marriage. Oklahoma has a 1997 law that was enacted to prevent the state from being
forced to recognize gay marriages
from other states. However, the state
legislature is already considering an
amendment to the state constitution
that would legally define a marriage
as a union between one man and one
woman. An editorial in The Daily Oklahoman, not surprisingly, encouraged
state legislators to do just that, and
quickly. And, meeting in November,
Oklahoma Southern Baptists
reaffirmed their opposition to gay
marriages, and said they will continue
to oppose all efforts to validate or
legalize same sex marriage or other
equivalent unions .
Political pollsters and pundits are
fast recognizing same-sex marriage as
a "wedge" issue in the upcoming
presidential election with Republicans
hoping to capture more conservative
Democrat voters over the divisiveness
of the issue. Many of the Democratic
presidential candidates have stopped
short of endorsing gay marriages but
most support giving domestic benefits
such as inheritance and hospital visitation rights to gay couples. Kucinich
is the only candidate to openly support gay marriages thus far.
Gays and lesbians have been
cheered by a series of advances this
year, including the U.S. Supreme
Court decision in Lawrence v. Texas
striking down anti-sodomy laws, the
ordination of an openly gay bishop in
the Episcopal Church, and a canadian
appeals court ruling that it was unconstitutional to deny gay couples the
same marriage rights as heterosexual
couples.

Womyn's College Basketball Season
by Jill Garner

B

esides music, women's sports is one of my other passions. The college basketball
season is gearing up and I'm already looking for scores every day to see who won
and lost even though most of the games right now are geared to be warm-ups for
the best teams.
This year the Big XII is looking mighty good in the Top 25 poll. While it's way too early to
say how they'll end up, the poll is based on their performance last year and who they have
returning.
Right now as I'm writing this, the Texas women moved from the number 3 ranking to 2
after beating Duke in the Women's Tip-Off Classic Tournament. It's been a while since
Texas has been ranked so high but with Jamie Carey, Stacy Stephens and Heather Schreiber all returning, their chances look very good this year. I'm very excited about seeing them
play. They'll be playing at least two games in Oklahoma this season. They play at OSU in
February and at OU in March. Watch for them on TV this season as well.
Texas Tech is ranked number 5 right now, and the two most recognizable reasons why
are Jia Perkins and Natalie Ritchie, but like any good teams, they have a number of players
that can hurt you. Kansas State is also ranked quite high (#9) and have Nichole Olde,
Kendra Wecker and Laurie Koehn all back this year. While they don't play OU at home,
they do play OSU in Stillwater in January and weather permitting, I plan to go see them play.
The fourth Big XII team ranked right now in the top 25 is OU at number 22. While they do
have some potent weapons with Caton Hill, Maria Villarroel and Dionnah Jackson, their upand-coming star Chelsi Welch tore her AGL the first week. The bad news is she'll be out the
rest of the season, but the good news is she'll be redshirted for the year and won't lose a
year of playing. But, I like OU's chances less than I did before Chelsi got hurt.
Put December 21st on your calendar. That's when number 4 Tennessee will be playing OU
in Norman. I hope to see Lloyd Noble Center packed to the rafters for that game. Sherri
Coale knows her teams only get better playing the top teams in the country, and Tennessee
is consistently one of the best teams year after year after year.
Another exciting time this year will be in March when Lloyd Noble Center will be hosting
the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight rounds of the NCAA tournament. The last two or three
years they've hosted the first and second_rounds. And while that is exciting, the quality of
the teams that make itto those next rounds is very high and we stand a good chance of
seeing a few of the top teams in the country play in Norman.
And if you can't make it to Norman or Stillwater to watch OU or OSU, we have the top two
NAIA teams right here in Oklahoma City at SNU and OCU. There's no reason not to support top-notch women's basketball in Oklahoma right now. There will also be a lot of televised games this season so be sure and watch for those as well. Let's let the TV stations
know that there's a market for women's basketball.

THE YouNG GAY AND LESBIAN ALLIANCE AND DIVEJl.SITY HousE

-py-eseM
A

A !lilljiaht ()f ()inner- and r=ntertainment
"E;eV1.tftt s-paghett~ D~llWl-tl' w[th TaleM show 'PY"ov[ctect btJ y <;LA
•All Proceeds Will Go Towards a GLBTYouth Homeless Shelter•
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2003
CHURCH OF OPEN ARMS
Do~tl.o111-s weLcoV!.1.t~)

.f;10.oo at tne Door (ALL T!:jpes

of

Doors Open at 6:00 p.m., Dinner Starts at 6:30 p.m..
Talent Show by YGLA begins at 7:00 p.m.
*-e;i:irL!:j Do111-C1tL0111-s a~ Cov1.tr-Lbutl.o111-s ci:i111- be ~~e c/o youth sneLter, Re~ Roel<.
Nortn, 2-t01. N.W. 3_9tn, oR.Lanoma cL.t!:j, 01<. 73112 (-tos) 52-t-hSDO

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CITY ANIMAL HOSPITAL

2910 N.W. 23
OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA 73107

N. WORLAND DVM
D. TRAVIS DVM

D.M. HAWKINS, DVM

REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
(405) 321-2148
Box 5119
Norman, OK 73070

Individuals - Couples
Family Therapy, Retreats

Nonnan, OK

Julia Irwin, M.D., P.C.
Psychiatrist
Doctor's Park
500 E. Robinson, Suite 600
Norman, OK 73071
(405) 321-3719

DOROTHY E.·HEIM
Attorney at Law

-Sandy Ingraham, J.D., M.S.W.
Attorney-at-Law
Ingraham & Associates, PLLC

(405) 691-4949
dheim033@yahoo.com
Call me with your legal questions:
estate planning
personal injury
contract issues
small business

Young
And Older Adults

Estate Planning, Wills, Trusts, Probate, Adoption, Contracts
Route 2, Box 369-B
McLoud, OK 74851

Tel. (405) 964-2072

Ingraham@mcloudteleco.com



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. . . .... . . . . . . . . . . . ... .......... ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. II

........·.·:;············-·-···-·.'.·.·-·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.···

volume 21, number 12

december 2003

Gay Marriage Poised to Become
"Wedge" Issue in 2004 Elections
he stakes are getting higher as same-sex marriage becomes the hot political topic for 2004. In the most recent development, the Massachusetts Supreme Court
ruled in November that same-sex couples are legally entitled
to wed under the state constitution, but stopped short of allowing marriage licenses to be issued to gay and lesbian couples. Instead, the high court ordered the legislature to come
up with a solution within 180 days.
of the Family
Connie Mackey
Research Council
criticized the
ruling, saying it
was "a clear
case of the courts
overruling the
majority opinion of
the people."
Elizabeth Birch,
director of the
Human Rights
Campaign, countered that the
$.$~•$~~ ®amaQ-~
courts are not
obliged to support
a majority of the
people. "If not for courts, African-Americans would not have
had the right to vote, women would not. have the right to.
vote," she said. "The purpose of a constitution is to protect a
minority group from the wrath of the majority."
The U.S. House is now considering a federal constitutional
amendment, the federal Marriage Amendment, that would
ban same-sex marriage and effectively trump the Massachusetts court ruling. President Bush waded into the debate
with a statement criticizing the ruling. "Marriage is a sacred
institution between a man and a woman," he said. "Today's
decision ... violates this important principle. I will work with
congressional leaders and others to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage." Last month, Bush
declared October 12-18 as "Marriage Protection Week." Bush
has also opposed nondiscrimination and hate crimes legislation, same-sex partner recognition, gay adoption, and lifting
the ban on openly gay service members.
The Federal Marriage Amendment is being heavily promoted in an unprecedented campaign by the religious right
and the political right. A prime goal of this effort is to permanently define marriage in this country as being between
one man and one woman and to prohibit any court from interpreting any law or state constitution to extend any bene

T

.it_·Berland Winter Solstice and
Holiday Potluck Dinner ·

Sunday, December 21, 6 pm
(followed by Herland board meeting at 7 pm)

Join us as we celebrate the solstice and a ioyful holiday season at Herland. Bring your favorite entree,
salad, or dessert dish and we'll provide a variety of
beverages and lots of holiday cheer!
Herland is also collecting holiday gifts for the womyn and
children at the YWCA Passageway Women's Shelter for all
who care to donate. Gifts can be brought to the potluck
and Herland will deliver them to Passageway. (Please see list
of needed items on page 4.)
After the potluck is our last board meeting of the year
where we will be planning our events for next year. Everyone is welcome to stay, you don't need to be a board member to give your input!

(continued on page 5)

•

World AIDS Day
December 1} 2003

www.herlandsisters.org
herland sister resources, 2312 nw 39th, oklahoma city, ok 73112
(405) 521-9696
email: herlandsisters@cox.net
bookstore hours: saturdays 1-5 pm

I

·

Saint Sybil
Dear Saint Sybil,
People are talking about Jessica Lynch as if she didn't belong in the Army. A columnist for the Oklahoman - a woman, no less - said that she was
a "little girl", not a "soldier". What do you make of all this, Syb? Personally, I'm feeling attacked!
You see, I thought I was a Soldier too.

Dear Soldier,
Poor Jessica Lynch. Columnists and commentators are having such a holiday "proving" that women don't belong in combat, all because Jessica Lynch is a
small woman - 'a slip ofa girl" - who, understandably aher all her wounds and trials, _appears frail and fragile, and wouldn't we all like to protect her? Much
is made ofhow terrified she says she was during the firefight and rescue. But what is truly impressive is her naive and refreshing honesty. Does anyone
really believe that any ofthe men involved were not terrified also? They just know better than to say so, even if anyone thought to ask.
No one dares openly blame Jessica for her rifle jamming, but there is an innuendo in most of these articles indicating that the rifle jammed because -she
just wasn't very good with a gun and she shouldn't have been there in the first place. Well, in the first place, Jessica graduated from basic training and was
neither frail, fragile, nor inept with a rifle. The fad is, we are supplying our at-risk soldiers with junk for weapons. Here is an excerpt from the Daily Oklahoman 11/23/03 about the weapon being used in this war: ' . ..the [too bulky} M-16, which also is prone to jamming in Iraq's dusty environment''... Jessica's
was not the only American's rifle to jam in Iraq.
These attacks upon Jessica are all the more damaging, disheartening, and infuriating because to a man (or honorary man, in Kathleen Parker's case) they
ooze sympathy and sentimentality toward her, aH the while implying she ought never to have been in the military to begin with, and all the whlle giving no
instance of what she did wrong, or what she did unsoldierly, of why she didn't belong there.
Now, l'H be happy to tellyou why she didn '!belong there: no Americans belonged there, America never should have attacked Iraq in the first place. But if
young men can find their way out ofpoverty and Podunk byjoining the military, so too shouldyoung women be able to.
And why is the military the only way out for so many youth? Perhaps if some of the hundreds ofbillions of dollars going to the Iraq war had gone to domestic programs, Jessica and her brothers and sisters in arms would not have had to place themselves in harm's way. But that, my dear, is a story for another day. So ofcourse you're a soldier and so is Jessica Lynch, andyou must pay no attention to what the troglodytes say.
Some people complain that Jessica was rescued only because she was a woman. That may or may not be true, it may or may not be tme that the administration was looking for a feel-good story during those early days and was not above manufaduring one. Certainly they were not above falsifying the fads in
the case, and it is to Jessica's amazing and etemal credit that she has refuted the falsely glorified story and refused to be lionized as a hero. As for the
rescue, there are all manner of reasons for rescue attempts. In 1945, George Patton sent a team of 300 men to rescue American prisoners of war inside
Germany. Most of the rescue team was killed or captured The on'ginalAmerican prisoners, including Patton's very nice son-in-law Johnnie Waters, remained imprisoned until the war's end That rescue attempt wasn't Johnnie's fault, and this rescue wasn't Jessica's fault.
Pray for peace,
Sybil

Thanks to the Artists!
Herland's Silent Art Auction, held in conjunction with our Anniversary Open House and Tret Fure concert, was a marvelous event. Our patrons - oops, matrons - oops - friends opened their hearts and pocketbooks and brought some wonderful art into their homes. We want to extend one more time our heartfelt gratitude and appreciation to the wonderful artists whose generous donations made this possible: Cathy Bowman, Kathy Buttry, Sue Clancy, Michele Dillehay, Diana Faulkner, Gail Garloch, Anthea Maton, Bernadette
Martinez, Deidre Murray, Connie Seaboum, Judy Sullens, Tommy Thomas, Dana Tiger, and Hanke Vanderwel. We also want to give special thanks to Anthea Maton for setting up
her awesome art installation in our new-books room .
·

Berland Anniversary Pins
and Booklets for Sale
If you missed the Herland 20th Anniversary Celebration but would like a
commemorative pin and/or booklet,
they are available!
The Herland anniversary
pin is a 3/4" photo-etched 2:-: ~TIJ) Tr ;~\ 1)>· 1:1·[~"
J.C-JlJ.t;sJl~LL~i~Jl\~ h.J/ '. color lapel pin with the design shown above. The
*
booklet is a 40+ page her... story of Herland with a
month by month listing of
people and events for the
last twenty years. Also, in
the back is a list of past
board members by year.
~
Pins and booklets are avail1983-2003
able
at the bookstore for
Celebrating 20 Years
only $5 each.

Happy 20th Anniversary, Sisters!
(The following note arrived with an enormous bouquet of flowers on the
Saturday morning of our 20th anniversary celebration.)
To Herland Sister Resources,
HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY, SISTERS! YOU HAVE CREATED
A MAJOR MIRACLE IN OKLAHOMA CITY!
To the founders and current supporters of Herland Sister Resources: Your work may go mainly unheralded, but believe me, it
has saved a life or two, more than you know, no doubt. For
readers, and writers, and friends, and lovers, and lost souls who
just need to see some friendly faces, you have been there. In this
time, when more and more feminist bookstores are going under,
and fewer and fewer services for feminist and lesbian sisters prevail, you are there. KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON, AND KNOW
THAT YOUR EFFORTS COUNT SO VERY MUCH EVERY SINGLE DAY IN THE LIFE OF WOMYN IN OKLAHOMA
Love to one and all, from your ardent ~ister feminists in Denver, Colorado.
Vicki P. McConnell, Peg Lehr, and the estate of Nancy Sue White

Herland Book Club
The Herland Book club will meet at 7 pm on Monday,
December 1st to discuss The Passion of Artemisia, by
Susan Vreeland.
Our January book will be Sisters of the Earth, an Anthology of Women's Prose and Poetry edited by Lorraine
Anderson. There are three copies in the Oklahoma Metropolitan Library System, and at least one copy available
at Herland. The book is also available from Amazon for
$10.50 plus shipping and Barnes & Noble for a list price
of $15. Among the writers in this provocative book are
Joy Harjo, Susan Griffin, Marjorie Rawlings, China Galland, Willa Cather, Alice Walker, Edna St. Vincent Millay,
Rachel Carson, Marge Piercy, Barbara Deming, Paula
Gunn Allen, and Ursula Le Guin. Wonderful thinkers,
writers, and reading. See you next year!

Herland Supper Club & Movie Night
Herland Supper Club will meet at 6 pm on Saturday, December 13th, at Herland for a Pizza and Movie Night.
We will order vegetarian and meat pizzas and any other
items that folks want.
The movie shown will be Lost
and Delirious, a 2000 release
about three adolescent girls
discovering first loves and sexual passion. After the romance
of Paula and Tory is discovered,
their love for each other and
their close friendship with
roommate Mary are tested by
parental opposition and social
condemnation. This is a tale of
love's blooming, its innocent
ecstasy and its ultimate obsessions·.
We also will be accepting
holiday gifts for the YWCA Passageway Women's Shelter
for those who wish to bring an item (see list page 4).
For more info, call Ginger at 942-1535.

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Monday. December1: Herland Book Club, 7 pm
Sunday. December 7: Bernadette Martinez art opening, Old
Trinity Gallery, 3000 N. Lee, 2-6 pm
Monday. December 9: OGLPC Monthly Meeting at the Center,
2135 NW 39th, 7 pm
Saturday. December 13: Herland Supper Club and Movie Night
at Herland, 6 pm
Saturday. December 13: Herland Hike at Martin Nature Park,
5000 W. Memorial, 10 am
Sunday. December 14: Womyn of Color Meeting, call 8423464 for details
Sunday. December 14: Sisters of Swing Christmas Shows,
Epiphany Church, 7336 W. Britton (west of Rockwell), 2 pm
& 7 pm, $5
Thmsday. December 18: YGLA Spaghetti Dinner and Talent
Show Fundraiser, Church of the Open Arms, 6 pm
Sunday. December 21: Herland Potluck at 6 pm followed by
Board Meeting, 7-ish, everyone welcome for one or both
Friday. December 26: Peggy Johnson after Christmas Concert, Church of the Open Arms, 3131 N. Penn, 8 pm

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Website of the Month

Freedom to Marry Coalition
www.ftmmass.org

Herland Hiking
The Herland Hiking Group will have its regular monthly
outing to Martin Nature Park, 5000 W. Memorial, at 10
am on Saturday, December 13th. There is also an optional coffee gathering beforehand at Panera's, comer of
Memorial & Meridian, at 9:30 am.

Womyn of Color
Womyn of Color group meets the 2nd Sunday of each
month. Please email womynofcolor@gay.com or call
(405) 842-3464 or (405) 947-7691 for more information.

Native American Women

Don't Forget to Support the Voice!
Your contribution is important! Just $12 a year will help
us pay for the $300+ it costs every month to print and
mail the newsletter.

D

Enclosed is a contribution for $ _ _ __

D

Please add me to the mailing list for The Voice.

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• Monday. January 5: Herland Book Club, 7 pm
: Monday. January 20: Martin Luther King Jr. Parade
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D Please change my address (new address below).

OKC Two-Spirit Society is having meetings for lesbian
and bi-sexual women of Native American descent.
Please call the OKC Two-Spirit Hotline number at ( 405)
317-7283 for information about the next meeting.
City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ State _ _ Zip _ __

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YWCA Passageway Shelter's Wish List for Children and Moms

Women and Friendship

This holiday season, Herland is again collecting items for donation to the YWCA
Passageway Shelter. The YWCA Passageway Shelter is the only shelter in Oklahoma City exclusively serving women and children who are the victims of domestic violence. Passageway is an emergency shelter, providing help in obtaining legal services, transportation, housing information, medical care, child care
and advocacy services for up to two months. Clients attend domestic violence
education and support groups during their stay. Child advocates offer education
and support to help children avoid further victimization, verbalize feelings, learn
appropriate ways to express emotions, and understand what is occurring in
their families.
Please bring items to the Herland Supper Club/Movie Night, the Herland Solstice Holiday Potluck Dinner or drop off at Herland on any Saturday before December 21st. Items should not be wrapped and please label boxes or sacks
with "YWCA". At this time no personal hygiene items {although bath gifts are
okay) or stuffed animals are needed. Monetary donations may be made to the
YES! Transitional Housing Program. Contact Susan Stewart, (405)948-1770 for
more information.

We have always known at Herland how
important friendships between women
are, and now there are scientific studies to
prove it. In five decades of study of
stress, mostly on men, scientists have
come to believe that stress triggers hormones that gear the body to either "fight
or flee", an ancient survival reaction helpful around sabre-toothed tigers. Recent
studies on women, however, suggest that
our chemical response to stress releases
brain chemicals that cause us to make
and maintain friendships with other
women.
According to Dr. LC. Klein of Penn
State, it seems that when the hormone
oxytocin is released as part of the stress
response in a woman, it buffers the "fight
or flight" response and encourages her to
tend children and gather with other
women instead. When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and
produces a calming effect. This calming
response does not occur in men, says Dr.
Klein, because testosterone-which men
produce in high levels when they're under
stress-seems to reduce the effects of
oxytocin. Estrogen, she adds, seems to
enhance it.
Dr. Klein believes that the "tend and
befriend" mechanism may explain why
women consistently outlive men. Social
interaction is proven to reduce our risk of
disease by lowering blood pressure, heart
rate, and cholesterol.
There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that
friends are helping us live longer. Friends
are also helping us live better. The famed
Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends
women had, the less likely they were to
develop physical impairments as they
aged, and the more likely they were to be
leading a joyful life.

~----------------------------------------,---------------------------

Children's Wish List
Board games {for all ages)
Leaming/developmental toys {for all ages)
Children's reading books (for all ages)
Baby Dolls
Tonka cars and trucks
Basketballs and footballs
Children's pajamas/slippers (for all ages)
Model airplanes and cars (kits for assembling)
Infant toys and rattles
Building blocks {for all ages)
Puzzles (for all ages) .
Play Dough (preferably name brand)
Accessories for making Play Dough creations
Coloring books/Crayons - 16 count boxes
No stuffed animals needed at this time

Wish List for Moms
Robes, House Shoes
Planners/Notebooks/Journals
Wall Calendars
Tote Bags
Craft Items
Heating pads
Hair dryers
Curling Irons
Gloves
Board games (ages 12 & up)
Lamps, Clock Radios
Umbrellas
Hats/Scarves
Insulated mugs
Manicure Sets
Coats

PROUbLY ANNOUNCING
THE OPENING OF MY LAW OFFICE
A. TERRY COCON
f'

The Voice is published by Herland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 NW 39th, Oklahoma City,
OK 73112. The Voice is offered as an open

6425 EAST RENO SUITE #106
MIDWEST crry, OKLAHOMA 73110 ·
(405) 922.:.7366
r

forum for community discourse. Articles reflect
the opinions of the author and not necessarily

Divorce • Child Custody • Paternity
Child Support • Modify Decree • Contempt
' Domestic Violence • Guardianship

those of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited
articles and letters to the editor are welcomed
and must be signed by the writer with full name

\

CALL ME FOR ALL YOUR LEGAL NEEDS
LEGAL SERVICES YOU CAN TRUST AND. AFFORD

and address. Upon reques~ letters or articles
may be printed under a pseudonym or anonymously. Subscriptions to The Voice are free
upon request although a donation is requested
to meet publication and distribution costs.

(continued from page 1)

fits associated with marriage to samesex couples. Jerry Falwell recently
claimed that the coordinated efforts
had resulted in one million signatures
on petitions in support of the constitutional amendment. (At last count, the
amendment had 96 co-sponsors in the
House of Representatives. The proposed amendment must be approved
by two-thirds of the House and the
Senate and then ratified by threefourths of the states.)
Vermont is the only state in the
United States that allows same-sex
couples the rights and benefits of
marriage. Vermont calls them civil
unions, rather than marriage. Oklahoma has a 1997 law that was enacted to prevent the state from being
forced to recognize gay marriages
from other states. However, the state
legislature is already considering an
amendment to the state constitution
that would legally define a marriage
as a union between one man and one
woman. An editorial in The Daily Oklahoman, not surprisingly, encouraged
state legislators to do just that, and
quickly. And, meeting in November,
Oklahoma Southern Baptists
reaffirmed their opposition to gay
marriages, and said they will continue
to oppose all efforts to validate or
legalize same sex marriage or other
equivalent unions .
Political pollsters and pundits are
fast recognizing same-sex marriage as
a "wedge" issue in the upcoming
presidential election with Republicans
hoping to capture more conservative
Democrat voters over the divisiveness
of the issue. Many of the Democratic
presidential candidates have stopped
short of endorsing gay marriages but
most support giving domestic benefits
such as inheritance and hospital visitation rights to gay couples. Kucinich
is the only candidate to openly support gay marriages thus far.
Gays and lesbians have been
cheered by a series of advances this
year, including the U.S. Supreme
Court decision in Lawrence v. Texas
striking down anti-sodomy laws, the
ordination of an openly gay bishop in
the Episcopal Church, and a canadian
appeals court ruling that it was unconstitutional to deny gay couples the
same marriage rights as heterosexual
couples.

Womyn's College Basketball Season
by Jill Garner

B

esides music, women's sports is one of my other passions. The college basketball
season is gearing up and I'm already looking for scores every day to see who won
and lost even though most of the games right now are geared to be warm-ups for
the best teams.
This year the Big XII is looking mighty good in the Top 25 poll. While it's way too early to
say how they'll end up, the poll is based on their performance last year and who they have
returning.
Right now as I'm writing this, the Texas women moved from the number 3 ranking to 2
after beating Duke in the Women's Tip-Off Classic Tournament. It's been a while since
Texas has been ranked so high but with Jamie Carey, Stacy Stephens and Heather Schreiber all returning, their chances look very good this year. I'm very excited about seeing them
play. They'll be playing at least two games in Oklahoma this season. They play at OSU in
February and at OU in March. Watch for them on TV this season as well.
Texas Tech is ranked number 5 right now, and the two most recognizable reasons why
are Jia Perkins and Natalie Ritchie, but like any good teams, they have a number of players
that can hurt you. Kansas State is also ranked quite high (#9) and have Nichole Olde,
Kendra Wecker and Laurie Koehn all back this year. While they don't play OU at home,
they do play OSU in Stillwater in January and weather permitting, I plan to go see them play.
The fourth Big XII team ranked right now in the top 25 is OU at number 22. While they do
have some potent weapons with Caton Hill, Maria Villarroel and Dionnah Jackson, their upand-coming star Chelsi Welch tore her AGL the first week. The bad news is she'll be out the
rest of the season, but the good news is she'll be redshirted for the year and won't lose a
year of playing. But, I like OU's chances less than I did before Chelsi got hurt.
Put December 21st on your calendar. That's when number 4 Tennessee will be playing OU
in Norman. I hope to see Lloyd Noble Center packed to the rafters for that game. Sherri
Coale knows her teams only get better playing the top teams in the country, and Tennessee
is consistently one of the best teams year after year after year.
Another exciting time this year will be in March when Lloyd Noble Center will be hosting
the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight rounds of the NCAA tournament. The last two or three
years they've hosted the first and second_rounds. And while that is exciting, the quality of
the teams that make itto those next rounds is very high and we stand a good chance of
seeing a few of the top teams in the country play in Norman.
And if you can't make it to Norman or Stillwater to watch OU or OSU, we have the top two
NAIA teams right here in Oklahoma City at SNU and OCU. There's no reason not to support top-notch women's basketball in Oklahoma right now. There will also be a lot of televised games this season so be sure and watch for those as well. Let's let the TV stations
know that there's a market for women's basketball.

THE YouNG GAY AND LESBIAN ALLIANCE AND DIVEJl.SITY HousE

-py-eseM
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"E;eV1.tftt s-paghett~ D~llWl-tl' w[th TaleM show 'PY"ov[ctect btJ y <;LA
•All Proceeds Will Go Towards a GLBTYouth Homeless Shelter•
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2003
CHURCH OF OPEN ARMS
Do~tl.o111-s weLcoV!.1.t~)

.f;10.oo at tne Door (ALL T!:jpes

of

Doors Open at 6:00 p.m., Dinner Starts at 6:30 p.m..
Talent Show by YGLA begins at 7:00 p.m.
*-e;i:irL!:j Do111-C1tL0111-s a~ Cov1.tr-Lbutl.o111-s ci:i111- be ~~e c/o youth sneLter, Re~ Roel<.
Nortn, 2-t01. N.W. 3_9tn, oR.Lanoma cL.t!:j, 01<. 73112 (-tos) 52-t-hSDO

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CITY ANIMAL HOSPITAL

2910 N.W. 23
OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA 73107

N. WORLAND DVM
D. TRAVIS DVM

D.M. HAWKINS, DVM

REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
(405) 321-2148
Box 5119
Norman, OK 73070

Individuals - Couples
Family Therapy, Retreats

Nonnan, OK

Julia Irwin, M.D., P.C.
Psychiatrist
Doctor's Park
500 E. Robinson, Suite 600
Norman, OK 73071
(405) 321-3719

DOROTHY E.·HEIM
Attorney at Law

-Sandy Ingraham, J.D., M.S.W.
Attorney-at-Law
Ingraham & Associates, PLLC

(405) 691-4949
dheim033@yahoo.com
Call me with your legal questions:
estate planning
personal injury
contract issues
small business

Young
And Older Adults

Estate Planning, Wills, Trusts, Probate, Adoption, Contracts
Route 2, Box 369-B
McLoud, OK 74851

Tel. (405) 964-2072

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