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VISIONS
Volume 2, Summer

Summer 1990

We Are Everywhere!
Physician
Social Worker

Air Force
Minnesota

Homemaker

Teacher

Writer
Real Estate Clerk
Colorado

Photographer

Page2

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

LV- GROWING INTO A NEW VISION:

PUBLISHERS RESPOND TO SURVEY

Dear Readers,
Welcome to Volume II of Lavender Visions! We are pleased
to report that this publication is a success-operating in the black
with a solid base of advertising supporters and continued growth
in the number of subscribers!
In planning for our second year, we have considered feedback
you have given us through your letters and the survey. Since it is
our intention to expand the length and content of LV , we have
elected to publish as a quarterly journal each season. You will note
that subscription rates reflect this change and are now $8.00/year.
If you have already renewed at the $12 rate, you will still receive
6 issues. Publishing four issues per year will allow a greater focus
of our energy and resources and give you more of what you've
asked for - greater depth and more topics.
This issue is a compilation of articles and letters you've sent
throughout the year - affirming We Are Everywhere. Themes
for the following issues are as follows: Fall (September, 1990),
"Coming Out" - as Lesbians, feminists, witches, Christians,
environmentalists, etc. Deadline for copy is July 15. the Winter
issue, (December, 1990) will focus on "Family" -as you define,
experience and affirm your own sense of family. Copy deadline

is October 15. The Spring issue (March, 1991) will cover Legal
issues for Lesbians. Copy deadline is January 15, 1991.
Our themes were provided from the survey results and each
issue will include other items of interest as well. We welcome and
need your articles, thoughts, reflections, ideas, feelings, prose,
poetry, stories, letters, pictures, humorous pieces, on anything,
anytime. Please let us hear from you. We also need to know of
happenings in your area for the Bulletin Board and Resources
listings.
Affirming ourselves, our lives and our culture is more than
advertising dollars. It is the energy of commitment, the support of
sharing the vision and contributing to our visibility with your own
voices and visions. We thank all of you who have nurtured
Lavender Visions this year with donations, subscriptions and your
energy. Let us dream together with growing vision and visibility.

RE-MEMBER OUR HERSTORY
DYKE - DIKE- means balance, the path; derived from the
goddess, Dike of Greece, granddaughterof Gaia, whose name literally meant "the way, the path." Her social function, along with
her two sisters, Eunomia ("Order") and Eirene ("Peace"), was
natural balance, the keeping of the balance of forces. The three
sisters, in conjunction with Demeter, were worshipped by women.
Dike was a storm goddess, a warrior, avenger against those
who challenged woman-oriented traditions. She is called "Natural
Justice" and her lover is Aletheia, "Truth". Dike was referred to
as "she from whom none may run away." She is depicted riding
in a cart holding scales of justice and a measuring rod.

(Source: Another Mother Tongue - Gay Words, Gay Worlds, by
Judy Grahn, Beacon Press, Boxton, 1984.)

VISIONS

Statement of Purpose
Lavender Visions is
for me and for you,
for all Lesbians,
for us to connect within
our larger community
so that together we may increase
our respect and support
for each other and ourselves,
affirming, celebrating and
honoring the women we are.
Published quarterly. Mailing address: Lavender Visions, P.O.
Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077. The opinions expressed in
Lavender Visions do not necessarily reflect the views of the
publishers and editors. All material in this publication is intended
for individuals, groups, organizations, and businesses which are
affirming of Lesbians and does not necessarily imply the sexual
orientation of any person except when specifically stated.
Publishers ............ Mary Gaul (M.G.), Nancy VanArsdall Jones
Computer Consultant .......................................... River Graphics
Mail Subscriptions
Subscriptions are available at $8 a year. Advertising rates available on request. Send address corrections to address above.

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page3

SARASWATI
by Kay Gardner

Editors Note: From the inception of Lavender Visions, the
goddess, Saraswati, has been our companion, our guide; her statue
is present during our staffings and reflections. Kay Gardner,
musician, writer and foremother shares her knowings of Saraswati
with us.
In 1974 when I was researching women's scales for my first
album,Mooncircles, I found two Greek modes dating from about
500 BC, both of which were attributed to women's cultures. The
Lesbian mode was invented by Sappho of Lesbos. The Lydian
mode was invented by the Lydians,
whom Monique Wittig describes in
Lesbian Peoples asa tribe of Amawns
which settled on Crete. (The Lydian
mode was banned by Plato in The
Republic for being "too female.")
I spent much of my composing
time writing in these two modes until
one day I thought, "What would happen if I combined these two sclaes for
a brand new mode? (Scales and modes
are the same things, i.e. specific sequences of musical tones.)
For awhile I wrote in what I called
my "mixed mode," and I grew to like it
even though it was strange and exotic
to the ear. In the late '70's, when I read
Peter Hamel's Through Music to the
Self, I found that "my" mixed mode
was indeed an ancient Hindu raga
(ragas, modes and scales are different
terms for musical sequences)! The
raga was called "Saraswati" and was
named after a Hindu goddess of music
and the sciences.
"Eureka," I cried, feeling that this
discovery confirmed my notion that
certain scales were woman-identified.
I also learned that of the 5000 ragas of
South India, half were named after
goddesses! (Wein the West work with
fewer than 75 scales, none of which are gender-identified.)
But I discovered more than just a new scale with which to
compose and improvise: I discovered Saraswati as a muse and a
constant source of inspiration. She has been a friend and spirit
mentor to me since 1981 when I played her raga on my recording
Moods and Rituals . Later I used the scale for the first and last
movements of A Rainbow Path (1984) and for "Traveling" on
Garden of Ecstasy (1989).

****

Two years ago, on a sound healer's tour to Asia, we visited the
island of Bali in Indonesia. Most oflndonesia is Moslem, but Bali
is predominantly Hindu with vestiges of a more ancient animism.
I loved Bali because its people live their spirituality. There were
10,000 temples on this tiny island; the music, dance and theater
were based on morality plays, mostly the Ramayana and other
Indian myths; and there were images of Saraswati and other gods
and goddesses everywhere. I found Saraswati depicted in wooden
sculptures, in paintings and on batik. Her image varied, of course,
depending upon the artist; but she was easily recognizable.
Saraswati has four arms, two of
which hold a stringed instrument, traditionally the vina, a kind of sitar. A
third hand holds a scroll or a book; the
fourth hand holds a lotus bud. She
stands or sits on an open lotus flower,
an Asian water lilly, and is flanked by
swans.
In the Hindu trinity, comprised of
Creator, Protector and Destroyer, Saraswati, with the god Brahma, represents the Creator. (Goddesses Kali and
Dura, with the god Shiva are Destroyers; the goddess Sri and the god Vishnu
are protectors. All over the island were
images of Sri carved in wood and
painted ... she looked like a flying
mermaid Wonder-Woman.)
Why was Saraswati the Creatrix?
What patriarchal society has called the
science of physics, matriarchal cultures have known as the laws of Nature. With every single sound that
occurs, a whole series of overtones, or
harmonics, occur simultaneously
though they diminish in audibility as
they climb higher. If we were able to
readily hear the scale created by overtones, we would hear the Saraswati
raga! This makes the Saraswati raga
the most natural scale in the world. By
natural, I mean that she can be heard in ocean surf, in the wind
blowing through trees or across telephone wires- in all phenomena caused by our Mother Nature.
It is for this reason that Saraswati presides over creation, the
fine arts and all creative endeavors. May she continue to bless us
with her joyful song!

Page4

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

Resources
Indianapolis (317}
AIDS Hotline: 257-HOPE, answered 7-1 lPM, every evening.
AIDS: Living the Journey Together: a family therapy group for
persons with AIDS and a care partner-parent, sibling,
love.friend.
Sponsored by Courageous Living Counseling Services, located in Westview Hospital Professional Bldg.,925-0043.
Catholic Lesbian Support Group: open to all Catholic and nonCatholic Lesbians who want to explore their Christian faith
within the context of their sexuality, 925-6866 (Martha) or
357-7964 (Carol).
Community Referral Service (Gay/Lesbian Switchboard),
P. 0. Box 2152, Indpls. 46206, 253-GAYS, Aids: 257HOPE.
Dignity meets at St. Thomas Aquinas Church, 46th & Illinois,
Sundays at 6 PM; P.O.Box 431, Indpls.46206, 924-6578
(Drew)
Feminist Writers: 5138 E. North St., Indianapolis, 46219; 3577964 (Carol).
Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (Quaker); 635-8646
(Diane or Perri).
Gay AA meets at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Sundays at 7 PM;
632-7864.
Gay and Lesbian Codependents Anonymous meets at Winona
Hospital, 3232 N. Meridian St.; 925-1135 (Don), 636-4986
(Joe), 297-0386 (Pam).
Gay Parents Coalition of Indianapolis meets at Holy Eucharist
Church, 38th & Illinois, 2nd Sunday of each month at 7:30
PM; 253-2280 (John)
Indianapolis Youth Group for Lesbian and Gay youth, ages 23
and under, meets be-weekly. For more information, call 253GA YS and ask for organization's contact person.
Ilndianapolis NOW meets at Planned Parenthood, 3219 N.
Meridian, 2nd Wednesday of each month at 6:30 PM; 9254641.
Indianapolis Pitch-In: Monthly pitchin-in dinners provide social and networking opportunities for all Lesbians. Generally, pitch-in is scheduled for the second Friday of each
month, beginning at 7 PM. Location, and directions, usually
is available at Dreams & Swords at least a week prior to each
Pitch-in. (253-9966)
Indianapolis Retirement Group: c/o Becky Thacker, 5831 So.
Harlan St., Indpls. 46227.
Integrity meets at All Saints Church, 16th and Central, Mondays
at 6:30 PM; 635-3744.
Justice, Inc.: Lesbian rescource for issues re: state laws, community/police relations, civil rights, Lesbian/gay conferences,
other special events.
Lesbian Discussion Group: 2nd & 4th Thursdays of each month,
7:00-8:30, at 6356 N. Guilford; 577-2245 for info.
Lesbian Incest Survivors Therapy Group. Contact Linda
Gensheimer, (219) 426-5778 (Fort Wayne).
Older Women's Network for Women Over 40 meets at 7707
Lancer Lane, 3rd Tuesday of each month;54 7-7702 Carol or

Sharon or Dreams & Swords, 253-9966.
Our Parents Aren't Straight (for children of Lesbians and
Gays,) 3rd Tuesday of each month. No age limits. Parents
can/will meet in different room for discussions, 353-6636
(Debbi or Vicki) 881-0786 (Donna, Ruth, Judy).
Overeaters Anonymous (for women and men) meets at Dreams
and Swords, 828 E. 64th Street, Fridays at 6:30 PM, 2539966.
P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meets at
Butler University in Atherton Center.Room 312, 2nd Sunday
of each month at 2:00 PM; 251-9307 (Donna).
University Gay/Lesbian Alliance meets at 3754 N. Illinois St.
(Lambda Center). Call 274-2585.
Women's Open Network: 274-5041 or 274-2585 (Sue Moenius).
Womenspired: 274-5041 or 274-2585 (Sue Moenius).
Bloomington (812)
Bloomington Switchboard: 336-4299
Gay/Lesbian Alliance: 332-1847
Lesbian / Gay Jews: for info, write Spinoza, P.O.Box 1164,
Bloomington, 47402; call 331-2708 (Deb.)
SPARKS: a social/educational forum for Lesbians. Contact
Marcia, 334-0414 or Carolyn, 339-4283.
Columbus (812}
Pitch-In: for info, call 376-0784
Switchboard Concern: 293-8671 (24 hours).
Evansville (812)
Tri-State Alliance Meeting meets at Unitarian Universalist
Church, 856 So. Kentucky Ave., 4th Sun of each month.
Fort Wayne (219)
Dignity/Fort Wayne, P. 0. Box 12151, 56862.
Drop-In meets at Up the Stairs Community Center, 3426 Broadway, Fridays at 7:30PM
Fort Wayne Women's Bureau: 303 E. Washington Blvd .. 4247977 .Peer Counseling: 9 AM-2PM - 426-0023 .Rape Awareness Program Hotline: 426 RAPE.
Lafayette <317}
Dignity/Lesbian Group: P.O.4665,Lafayette,47903,474-6590,
463-6050.
Liberty
The Pearl: Feminist resource/journal. Contact: Natalie Isaac,
editor, 304 South Fairground, Liberty, IN 47353.
Mishawaka <219}
Open Arms: Monthly newsletter for Michiana Lesbians. Contact: PO Box 845, Mishawaka, IN 46544. Yearly subscription: $10.00; sample copy: $1.00. Make check payable to:
Roberta Miller.
South Bend <219}
Help Line: 232-2522 (9AM-5PM)
Hot Line: 232-3344 (24 Hours)
IUSBU Womyn's Center: 929 Greenlawn - 237-4494.
Monthly Lesbian Potluck and weekly Lesbian support group,
291-3720.

Summer 1990

Page 5

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE SUPPORTERS' PAGE
To advertise here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at Lavender Visions P.O. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

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Page6

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

"Invisible or simply ignored?" : A Black Lesbian's point of view
An interview with Candas I. Barnes by Denise Senter

Editor's Note: This article represents a continuation of
conversations held with black women who are Lesbian and/or
woman identified. The journeys shared through these reflections
have been diverse, yet each has shared a common theme. This
present conversation is a gift from Candas I. Barnes, a beautifully
creative and inspiring woman currently studying at the Rochester
Instutute in Rochester, New York. Candas has kept close ties with
Indiana since experiencing the 1989 National Women's Music
Festival in Bloomington. As a result of sharing stories, Candas
shared her thoughts on her experiences in Rochester and her
perspective as a black Lesbian woman.
" ... .invisibility, which goes beyond anything that either black
men or white women experience and tell about in their writing, is
one reason it is so difficult for me to know where to start. ... "
(Barbara Smith, "Towards a Black Feminist Criticism," Conditions 2, 1977 .)
LV: Candas, you have made a significant move since last
year. How has this move made an impact on you?
CB: I moved here to become a student at the Rochester
Institute of Technology, after living for the past 28 years in Washington, D.C. Shortly after arriving, I began to feel something was
wrong. As I walked around campus, through the city, visitied the
Lesbian and Gay bars, this feeling never left me. I attempted to
write about it in my journal and dido 't "know where to start", and
I experienced great frustration trying to give voice to the loss of
balance I felt.
LV: How did you .-ecognize what was happening to you?
CB: It wasn't until I had been in Rochester for several weeks
that I began to recognize the feeling. One evening in September,
I went to a dance concert featuring the Urban Bushwomen, a dance
collective based in New York City. The company performed a
piece which was centered around the theme of homelessness. The
dance portrayed people who are treated as if they do not exist,
people who are walked past every day because they are different,
uncomfortable to acknowledge or look at. All of a sudden it hit me.
I was watching these dancers breathe life into what had been
troubling me, what I'd been feeling since arriving in Rochester. A
feeling I had thought unique to me was being flung around on the
stage for everyone to look at. I am sure this vision did not have
the same effect on any other individual in that room.
L V: That's a very powerful analogy, Candas. Are there other
instances in which you feel or have felt invisible?
CB: Although I am not a person without a home, I am a
someone who has been treated, on a regular basis, as if she does
not exist. I am a black Lesbian. As hard as it was for me to believe,

there are people who move through the world on a daily basis and
never consider, or even notice, the existence of people like myself
who look different-at least not until they do something "radical"
or"blatant". There are those who claim they promote equality and
justice for all, but categorically deny the existence of members of
their subculture who are not white and/or male. There are those
who could, and have, allowed me to enter a room, walk down the
street, or even to greet them, and looked through me as ifl were not
present.
LV: How different was your experience in Rochester from
your home community in Washington?
CB: What has been most difficult for me to deal with about
this situation was the fact that I had spent over IO years developing a network in Washington which insulated me from the racism
and homophobia of the Lesbian and Gay community in that town.
Washington is the home of one of America's larger Lesbian and
Gay communities. It is also a town filled with black people,
racism, sexism and homophobia. In spite of this, I actively sought
and worked to become a member of the "community" in D .C. I
became well integrated into this community, and forgot what it
was like to be without it. I somehow managed not even to consider
what
it
.-------------,
would be
like to be
My life has been greatly enwith O ut
these people
riched through experiencing
who had
made me
other cultures and ways of
feel comfortable and
thinking. Icouldonlypitythose
validated.
And then I
whowereafraidortooignorant
moved to
RocheS ter. 1
to learn about others.
franc tically sought
-,••••••••••■ the loving, supportive Lesbian community I was told I'd find upon arriving here. I went to
meetings, social gatherings, bars, haunted the bookstores and
found no one to connect with. I found myself reaching out to
people and being tolerated at best, but usually ignored. I wondered
what the cause of my invisibility was. I tried not to assume it was
because I was black. I looked for any other reason I could find to
excuse it. "Maybe it's 'cuz I'm new in town and no one recognizes
me" (I know how we can be about accepting strangers). "Maybe
it's cuz I wear glasses". "Maybe it's cuz my hair is braided". I
looked for any excuse I could find. Meanwhile I was pissed off that
I felt a need to search for excuses.
LV: How would you like to respond to those who treat you
as though they can't relate to you?
CB: I get the feeling that people believe I could not possibly
discuss politics, literature, economics or life except as it directly

continued on page 11

Summer 1990

Page7

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE SUPPORTERS' PAGE
To advertise here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at Lavender Visions P .0. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

wY4.r~~

6251 north wlnthrop ave., aulte 4
Indianapolis, IN 46220
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Page8

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS SURVEY SUMMARY:
THE COMMUNITY PERSPECTIVE
by Dorin Gridley
We asked for your comments in the February/March, 1989
issue. About 15% of our subscribers responded, which is an
excellent return on any survey effort! Our respondents represented the states of Colorado, Connecticut, Minnesota, Ohio and
90% from Indiana. We heard from people in thirteen different
counties in Indiana - 54% residing in Marion County. Our advertisers are being supported by 65-75% of our readers who live
in the proximity oflndianapolis.
If you check out the coverof this issue, you will see a sampling
of the various occupation of LV readers. We, indeed, are
everywhere!
We asked which of our articles and features you read regularly. Apparently most everyone reads every issue cover to cover.
The top three issues of interest were Lesbian rights, Women's
rights and legal issues, followed by spirituality and peace, homophobia, abortion and ecofeminism. We hope you will send items
on these topics for publication in forthcoming issues.
Since the survey left space for narrative remarks, you confirmed what we've always known: Lesbians have a lot to say and
hunger to hear what other Lesbians have to say. Here is a summary

of topics suggested: coming out stories, stories on women,
successful business women, needs of aging Lesbians, adolescent
sexuality, global community, family issues, the arts, socializing,
and more sharings from other communities.
Many respondents took time to offer constructive criticism
which we greatly appreciate. The general consensus among
respondents appears to be the introduction of greater diversity into
LV. There is a genuine desire to read about the lives of women and
Lesbians everywhere, not just Central Indiana. So, please, readers
let us hear from you!
We have published comments and suggestions under the
"Readers' Reflections and Visions" column in this issue. Please let
us hear your responses.
In reviewing the survey results, we are encouraged to find that
LV is meeting many of the needs of the Lesbian community,
wherever individuals reside. We are committed to incorporating
your ideas to the best of our abilities and resources in furture
issues.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond. Communicating
is part of community building.

INDIANAPOLIS WOMEN'S RETIREMENT GROUP: AN UPDATE
In January, 1990, a notice was posted at Dreams & Swords
Bookstore in Indianapolis and in LV, inviting participation in a
retirement group. The stated purpose of the group is to establish
a retirement community, probably in the Indianapolis area, so that
we will have a safe, comfortable, affordable old age without
isolation from others of our own kind, but with reasonable privacy
within the group.
The stated approach is to reach some concrete, specific
conclusions by the end of 1995 and to begin to act on those conclusions. A group of 6-12 people will incorporate and make
decisions within the next five years about who will participate, the
physical environment, geographical location, timetable, individual duties and resources.
The introductory meeting took place on March 1, 1990 and
was attended by eight persons. The primary topic of discussion
was each person's views on: a) her "worst case" retirement
situation, b) her"bestcase" or ideal retirement situation, and c) the
most realistic retirement.· (The consensus was that we all feared
becoming "bag ladies," we'd all like to live on the beach, but that
we '11 most likely end up in apartments in Indianapolis and go to the
seashore as often as possible!)
Clearly, the group is still in a state of change, but visions and
plans continue to emerge. A proposed workshop at the Older
Women's Series of NWMF will offer further opportunities for

brainstorming, networking and support. If you are interested in
participating in the Indianapolis Women's Retirement Group, or
are forming a similar group and wish to network with us, contact
us: Indianapolis Retirement Group
c/o Becky Thacker
5831 S. Harlan Street
Indianapolis, IN 46227

Subscription Renewal !
Look at the address label on your Lavender Visions
mailing envelope! The date on the far right of the first
line indicates the date of the last issue under your current
subscription. If your envelope has been stamped with a
renewal notice, please send us your renewal along with
the subcription form from page 16 of this issue. Please
renew by August 1, 1990 so that you don't miss a single
issue. Your continuing support is greatly appreciated!

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page9

Bulletin Board
National Women's Music Festival (NWMF), Thursday- Sunday ,May 31-June3, Bloomington, IN. Herearesomeofthe
featured performers, speakers, writers: Minnie Brua Pratt,
Karla Jay, Kay Leigh Hagan, Shekinah Mountainwater,
Arisika, Nan Brooks & Jane Winslow, Buffy Sainte-Marie,
Adrianne Torf, Ferron, Holly Near, Heather Bishop, and
Deidre McCalla. Don't miss it- save some vacation days
for these dates! For more information, contact the Indiana
University Conference Registrar at (812) 331-7799.
"Into the Gay '90s with Pride",Pride Celebration on Monument
Circle in Indianapolis, Saturday, June 16, 5-9 PM. Part of
Indiana's 1990 Gay/Lesbian Pride Week, sponsored by Justice, Inc. For more information, call Ruth Peters (317) 2531460 (home) or (317) 635-4059 (work) or call Justice (317)
634-9212.
TLC Draggins softball game with the Ohio Geriatrics team
will take place on Sunday, June 10, 1990 at 1:00. The
game will be played behind Keystone Middle School, on
S. Keystone Ave. In case of rain, we will meet at the
school and then proceed to Noble Roman's on Southport
Rd. off S. Madison Ave.
Womyn's Tennis League. A spring-summer womyn's tennis
league is forming. Will include both beginners and more
experienced players. Some instruction for beginners could be
available. Please contact Dian Miller (317) 924-7906 (work)
or (317) 243-8939 (home) or Laurie Anderson (317) 9247906.
Branching OUT Productions
Women's Community Series:
September 7, 1990 - Jennifer Justice & Susan Wilson
with Dance afterwards!
"Lavender Hearts Returns!" Lesbian Erotica Love Sto
ries by Jennifer Justice with Special Slide Show by Susan
Wilson (all new show!)

Branching OUT Productions con't
8:00 PM - 10:30 PM - Lavender Hearts
10:30 PM- 1:00 AM- Dance!
St. Peter Claver Center, Indy
October 13, 1990 - Lucie Blue Tremblay & Heather
Bishop!
8:00 PM, The Walker Theatre, Indy
November 9, 1990 - Kate Clinton Birthday Show!
8:00 PM, The Walker Theatre, Indy

Program/Seminar Series
Eliana Gil - October 5th, 9:00 - 4:30 PM
Omni Hotel North
Author of Outgrowing the Pain and Treatment of
Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse
Mike Lew - November 2, 9:00 - 4:30 PM
Hilton at the Airport
Author of Victims No Longer & Men Recovering From
Incent And Other Sexual Child Abuse.
Harriett Goldhor Learner - November 28,
9:00 - 4:30 PM
Holiday Inn Airport
Author of Dance of Anger, Dance of Intimacy and
Women In Therapy
For further information on any of the above pro
grams, be sure to phone 317/637-2906 and leave
your name & address. Please indicate WHICH Series
you are inquiring about. Information will be mailed
to you late summer, early fall.

Please send information about upcoming events for
publication in Bulletin Board to:
Lavender Visions, PO Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077.

GAY PRIDE CELEBRATION ON THE CIRCLE
The last week of June is Gay Pride Week with activities planned daily throughout the state. Justice, Inc. is
sponsoring the first Gay/Lesbian Pride Celebration on Monument Circle on Saturday, June 30. The Celebration
will take shape as a Street Fair from noon until 9 PM, with a Pride Rally at 2 PM and various speakers and
entertainers until 7 PM. Our own Deb Mullins will be among the many entertainers, along with Lynn Lavner,
a comedienne from New York City as MC of the festivities. Various statewide Gay/Lesbian support groups,
organizations and businesses will have fund-raising booths offering varied items and refreshments as well as
giving information about their respective endeavors. This is a great opportunity to visibly support ourselves and
each other. Encourage your straight friends to support this event as well and make a blow against homophobia.

Page 10

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE

Summer 1990

LAVENDER PAGE

To be listed here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at: Lavender Visions, P.O. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

ADVERTISING

FLORISTS

Accent Advertising Co., Inc., 5420 East St. Clair St.,
Indianapolis, IN 46219 ....................................... (317) 357-6530

Town and Country Florist of Carmel, 2182 E.116th St.
Keystone Square Mall, Carmel, IN ................... (317) 846-4221

BOOKSTORES/MEDIA

HELP WANTED

Aquarius Books for a Feminist Future, 116 No. Grant St.,
Bloomington, IN 4 7402 ........................................... (812)336-0988
Awakening, 6358 No. Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN 46220
.............................................................................. (317) 255-9907
Dreams and Swords, Inc., 828 E. 64th St., Indianapolis, IN
46220 .................................................................. (317) 253-9966
Iris, Inc., 6367 Guilford, Indianapolis, IN 46220 ................ .
........................................................... (317) 251-4747 [251-IRIS]

Wanted:Womyn to do standard housecleaning.
Permanent position, 4 hrs/wk, $7/hr; 10 miles south of Bluffton, IN; references required. Ask for Barb ......... (219) 346-2575
JEWELLERS
The Brass Ring, Custom jewellers, gold-silversmiths and
lapidaries, Antique Alley, Nashville, IN ..... ...... (812) 988-2729
MASSAGE/RELAXATION THERAPY

CHIROPRACTORS
Pyramid Chiropractic, Peg VanDenburgh, DC, 8648
Purdue Rd., Indianapolis, IN 46268 .................... (317)876-0887

Marybeth Colefax .............................................. (317) 255-6043
Julianne Houk ................................................... (317) 685-2834
Maryann Steinhart, 6407 No. Michigan Road, Indianapolis,
IN 46268 ............................................................ (317) 257-2350

CONSTRUCTION/HOME IMPROVEMENT
PROFESSIONAL SERVICES
Ceramic Tile/Drywall, Installation and Repair. Free
Estimates ............................................................. (317) 783-4928
Anne Shellaba:-ger, Mooresville, IN ................. (317) 996-2115
Shipp Construction Inc ................ (317) 254-9126 or 252-2404
Sunshine Services ............................................... (317) 353-6636
COUNSELING/PERSONAL GROWTH
Mariel Burch. MSW, 3508-A Stellhorn Rd., Ft. Wayne,
IN 46815 .............................................................. (219)486-2258
Micky Craney, 6251 No. Winthrop Ave., Suite 4,
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ........................................ (317) 255-7556
Mary Gaul, EdD, 6360 Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN
46220 ................................................................... (317)253-5160
Martine Faist, MA, AT ,.................................... (317) 253-8499
Nancy VanArsdall Jones, MA, 6360 Guilford Ave.,
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ....................................... (317) 253-5160
Pat Jordan, MS .................................................. (317) 257-2350
Gloria M. Linville, ACSW, Kokomo, IN ......... (317) 459-0538
Margaret Miholick, ACSW, 6360 Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN 46220 ..................................................... (317) 253-5160
Passages: Psychological Services-Joan Farrell, PhD.
HSPP, Ida Shaw, Finlay Grier, PhD, HSPP,6367 Guilford Ave.
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ....................................... (317) 251-1110
June Thompson,ACSW, CADA ...................... (317) 251-7051

Mary A. Byrne, Realtor, 1202 No. Pennsylvania , Indianapolis,
IN 46202 ........................................ (317) 638-1020 or 923-5574
Haynes Bookkeeping, Tax service specializing in small
business and S-corporations ............................... (317) 293-3190
Candace L. Shearls, Computer Consultant ...... (317) 255-8328
Shopping Sprees by Diane, 6701 No. College Ave., Suite
305, Indianapolis, IN 46220 .............................. (317) 255-2459
RESTAURANTS
Coffee Zon, Ruth Peters, 137 E. Ohio St., Indianapolis, IN
46204 .................................................................. (317) 684-0432
WANTED-INFORMATION
Interested in quilting? Call Micky .................. (317) 356-4914
Wanted: Copy of Out From Under: Sober Dykes, Our Friends
Jean Swallow, Ed. Call Terie ............................ (616) 244-8657

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

"Invisible or simply ignored?"
continued from page 6
relates to black people. Unlike members of the dominant culture,
I was required to learn about people and events other than those
directly related to me. For this I am thankful, because I have a
multi-layered world view. I was saddened, however, when I
realized there were people who did not even notice that I and others
like me were missing from their experience or knowledge of the
world. I wondered what it must be like to have knowledge only
of oneself. I imagined it to be incredibly boring. My life has been
greatly enriched through experiencing other cultures and ways of
thinking. I could only pity those who were afraid or too ignorant
to learn about others.
Pat Parker, one of the first black Lesbians to speak out against
racism, sexism, and homophobia, died during the summerof 1989
and has yet to be anthologized or given recognition by any but her
black sisters. This is ironic in light of Parker's words in "Where
Will You Be?" (Conditions 5, 1977):
" .... they will come/because we are/defined as opposite/perverse/and we are perverse/....and they will come./fhey will
come for/the perverts/... & it won't matter/if you 're/homosexual,
not a faggot/lesbian, not a dyke/gay, not a queer/... They will come
for/the perverts/and where will/you be/ When they come?"
L V: Do you believe we have more in common with each other
than differences?
CB: We can all attest to the fact that homophobia does not
discriminate. It is hatred of Lesbians and Gay men simply because
they exist. Perpetrators of this hatred probably will not stop to
check if the Lesbian or Gay man they hate is black or white. They
will hate each of us equally. I believe we should love each of us
just as equally. Not when it is convenient. Not when it is
politically correct to seek the "black Lesbian" perspective. Not
because of anything other than decency. There is more strength in
acceptance than there ever will be in exclusion.
L V: How do you plan to continue your commitment against
racism and homophobia?
CB: I, as one black Lesbian, will continue to reach out. I
refuse to isolate myself. Or to accept the isolation which is
imposed upon me. I speak only for myself. It should not be seen
as representative of black Lesbians. In addition, it is important for
me to note that where I have said black, the words Chicana,
Puertoriqquena, Asian (or any other race) might just as easily have
been substituted when the discussion is about racism. However,
the only perspective I feel qualified to talk about is my own. I have
therefore chosen to speak from my experience with racism as a

black Lesbfan in this community.

er

Page 11

READERS' REFLECTIONS AND VISIONS
- It would be interesting to add a section of "Dear So-So"
to answer questions regarding interpersonal relationships, health
concerns, advice, quips and quotes. I would be interested in
.
.
helping if this develops.
- Would like to see more in-depth book and music reviews,
letters from readers, coverage of Womyn's festivals, poetry.
- How about more for those of us here in northern Indiana?
- yeah - how do I get up the gumption to attend events alone,
since I don 'tknow anybody yet? I want to hear/read about Lesbian
mothers (my kids are pre-schoolers.) I'm isolated and I'm new.
- Where approprate, interject humor... Thanks for asking.
Thanks for LV.
-Keep up the good work! We Are Everywhere - even in
southern Indiana. We seem to be ignored and forgotten at times.
Withholding my name for the present time, I will try to help push
Lavender Visions in this community. We need you in so many
ways. Thanks!
- Some articles seem too centered on one person's experience and reading them is like reading a meditation or journal entry,
and on balance, they don't speak concretely enough for me/us.
More poetry and literary pieces would add most-needed balance.
Perhaps, then I'd find the "personal" articles not so overwhelming.
- I would like to see Lavender Visions be able to expand and
include "stuff' from all over the state. Yes, I will volunteer to do
some of that work when something is planned. I would like more
hard news that affects Lesbians.
-Keep up the good work! We really enjoy your articles and
listing of festivals and concerts. This is a slow time for the Fort
Wayne crowd, but we enjoy our interactions with the Indianapolis
community.
- I like the profiles of different Lesbians in the area the best.
- I really enjoy readingLV. I wish there were more articles
to read, as I catch myself reading parts of it over and over. I don't
want it to end. Thank you and keep up the good work.
- I like your listing of services and meeting places and dates.
- Thanks for being a regular part of our lives! Keep up the
good work!
-As a new subscriber toLVI' d like to say that I enjoy reading
the articles and knowing that some of the local businesses are
"family." LV is the best way I know to keep close and in touch with
other women who are just like me.
- I'm proud to support the efforts of everyone atLV and am
interested in contributions to this wonderful publication. Keep up
the good work, ladies!
- Lavender Visions has been a welcome connection to the
women's community. We are new (within a year) to the area and
know no one in the women's community. Our schedules and/or
public positions in the area have prevented us from attending many
of the events - and making any social connections. We would
like to get better acquainted, but have not succeeded yet.
- Your newsletter is great! Very professional looking well organized. Keep up the good work!
- I think you 're doing a beautiful job.

Page 12

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

Revolutionary Babes: Parenting as a Political Action
by Christina Springer
As a mother, I find raised eyebrows, curious stares and
concerned faces, as my child and I enter into Lesbian gatherings.
These same Lesbian gatherings contend that they are functions
welcoming all women. They suggest that they are events in which
the participants are mostly woman-centered, often, Goddess-centered.
How easily we fall prey to the illusion of self-created power
in feminism: simple-mindedly drifting- pawn to pawn-on the
chessboard of the Patriarchy. Viewing ourselves as independent
thinkers, capable of redefining and surpassing expectations from
the dominant culture. Ahh, yes, we are women who dance in the
mirror, seeing self-created reflections with no practicality towards
realism. The staunch feminists, the radical intellectuals, the
ignorant theorists of improbable calculations have accepted the

by Denise Rambo

destiny of compromised originality. The white separatist feminists often are so like the art of their culture - decorative,
impractical- but ever so astounding, thought provoking, and precious.
It is always with great reservation that I inflict my piece of the
future into this present time. I enter, a Pan-Africanist Lesbian
feminist mother: a practical basket woven of a myriad of colors,
tight enough to carry water over three miles without leaks; a water
basket, as useful and practical, as it is pretty, bearing life essence,
spiritandfull-bodiedasthemoon. Wegivelifetothefuture,again
and again. We have survived, thrived, remained alive- in spite
and hope- throughout millenia. We pass this legacy with the
knowledge that the struggle woven into our lives takes on improved patterns with each successive generation. The legacy of
our continued existence becomes more and more exquisite as our
gift is life.

Conscious parenting (which by nature of our culture's unwillingness to affirm alternatives) is the type of parenting many
Lesbians are beleaguered with, by virtue of having to be thoughtful and considerate of every action's ramifications. Through our
parenting, we become political, as we seek to affirm, reflect and
portray our lives as normal and natural - to both society and our
children. Yet, more than that, the dedication to rasing healthy,
whole, self-loving children is an action directly in conflict with the
aims of the Patriarchy. We parent politically by nature ofnurturing positive lives, reaping bountiful harvests intrinsically more
sustaining and long lasting, than success in career. We empower
our own lives. We, parents of revolutionary babes, (who are
destined to survive a culture not conducive to health and peace in
childhood) in our motherhood, build your better future.
There are some, so desolate in spirit, who believe us to be
agents coerced into unethical actions by the Patriarchy. There are
those who believe motherhood in Lesbianism to be counterrevolutionary, on-feminist, destroyers of action in a war played on
the defensive. I argue we are warriors who are tromping into the
battleground on the offensive. We give thought to this Patriarchy,
but do not expend energy attempting to outwit it. We challenge its
continued existence through our lives- lives not geared towards
rectifying past wrongs, strategical maneuvers, or devoted to
analysis of crimes against womanhood. We combine all of those
efforts through our parenting. We transcend the defensive, understand the work to be done, live in a positive woman-centered
reality and teach those values ''lour children. We rear our children
from this place of power. We do not dwell in the negative, but
make a tangible contribution to the creating of the positive. A need
no longer remains for a defensive stance when one's offensive is
precisely reflective of all the meanings of the word itself.
It is easy to thrash those whose importance in life is most
important-the mothers. We, womyn creating womyn spaces,
come together in an effort to synthesize wholeness into self. We
come together to heal ourselves, gather courage to continue
movement forward. Many of us claim to worship the Goddess and
her infinite manifestations throughout our lives. Yet, we forget to
rememberthe womb-the root-that brought us to our full flower
in womanhood. We disregard herstory, leaving us open to
incorrect analysis of the present and future. We forget that female
hatred of the mother, female hatred of other women, is a twentieth
century concept created by men. We forget that a century ago,
white women's society (that is, middle-class and wealthy women
of 17th-18th century US) was a closed and autonomous society
separate from men, where the idea of giving voice to maliciousness to other women and their ways was a foreign concept. We
accept media interpretations and the educational system's elimination of a documented women-centered time. In our ignorance
of self, we demonstrate the same behavior of our oppressors by
excluding mothers from our community. As a unified community,
continued on page 14

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page 13

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
As a minister, I frequent the halls of the local hospital visiting
my congregation members who are undergoing tests or preparing
for surgery. I notice people tend to reach out more during these
times of crises. Touch is important. The first thing that usually
happens on a hospital visit is I grasp the hands of the patient and
family member(s). I represent the faith community called the
Church when I go to the hospital rooms. Visits vary and last no
more than 15 minutes, but the touch of love from someone who
cares makes a difference in bringing one wholeness and wellness
again.
My journey from the pastoral care department to the patient
rooms takes me through the back corridors.. a route that runs
directly past the mental health/addictions unit. On the door is a
picture poster: two roads, one to the left, another to the right-a
beautiful scene of creation. It reads:
Two roads
diverged in a wood
I chose the one less traveled by,
and that has made
all the difference.
The road less traveled is a road I wanted to travel, but dared
not because of what I might find. Fear filled my being: fear
stemming from our society's and the church's rejection of homosexuality. I knew what I felt in my heart, and it definitely wasn't
heterosexual! I believed that God called me to be a minister and
being a Lesbian was part of that call, part of God's grace and
acceptance of who I am. I'd never associated with the Lesbian
community because of the fear that my ordination procedures may
have been questioned. I'm still in the closet, BUT my "coming
out" is being a wonderful process. Let me share it with you.
Some months ago, I decided it was time to journey that road
less traveled. I was ordained, had a full-time pastorate, and felt the
time to go within was NOW. My lover of six years and I were
splitting up. She had moved East and I was feeling lonely. One
other ministry colleague, who is also a Lesbian, was helpful. She
suggested some counseling might help me, preferably from a
counselor who was Lesbian. I gave it some thought. Here I was
surrounded by my congregation, yet they could not understand
what was happening; my job would be at stake if they knew. I was
in a world of people and at the same time in a world of isolation.
Have you ever felt that way?
Well, I decided to start dealing with my feelings as a Lesbian,
a southern Lesbian, and a Lesbian minister. My first counseling
session was like a big explosion. I had locked these feelings inside
for so long. Then the dam collapsed, the flood gates opened, and
the tears came. It's hard to feel good about yourself when the
world tells you being Lesbian is wrong, immoral, and biblically
unacceptable. So, for the next couple of months, I worked on
getting out the shame and homophobia that has paralyzed my
emotions for so long. (I'm still working on this.)
My counselor suggested I go to the Lesbian Discussion
Group. My courage level was really low, needless to say! She
never forced me to go, but she encouraged me to take this step in
the "coming out" process at a time when I felt I was ready. Seven

months later, I made it to my first meeting. Don't quote me, but
I was scared shitlessl Fifteen minutes into that first meeting, my
nerves began to settle. I was home .. .I finally had come home!
I've made some wonderful friends in the Lesbian community.
The Discussion Group is a priority in my calendar now; I've been
to a pitch-in dinner, and now I'm looking forward to my first
dance! There has also been a new dimension added to my ministry
in that other Lesbians are attending my church, and I've helped
them work through some spiritual/life matters. This gives me
hope for the future in being a pastor of an open and affirming
church some day. Also, my denomination has formed a Lesbian/
Gay support group and state support groups are being formed as
well.
There is no community in isolation. We all come to recognize
who we are in our own time, but we need others to affirm us in that
recognition. There are folks who can make life more than you've
ever imagined when you are involved in the Lesbian community.
We need that touch and support.
Being a Lesbian is now a part of my life. I've learned to claim
my identity by being a part of the Lesbian community. I'm reading
books and listening to music by Lesbians and this nurtures my
inner self. My former lovernoted, "You've got gay on the brain l"
Yes, I do, and it feels great! I celebrate each step in my "coming
out" process now!
Community is a derivative of the word "commune" which
means to administer or to receive. In the church, I celebrate the
faith community, the Lesbian community, and the communion we
share. Communion puts us in touch with the Holy and gives us life.
It gives us the giftoflove, touch and remembrance. People do that
for us in the community. We need one another. We need to be
remembered, not ignored.
Take a chance; take the first step ... take the road less traveled.
Blessings to you on your journey into the community!

STRUGGLE by 5. Spencer

Hall

We came together: staunch land, fluxing tide.
Forceful, neither wished to yield her strength.
But as sand shifts and water laps back wide
so passion spent we spread in tangled warmth.
Sweat mists along your neck, our hurricane
sprayed salty drops, pearls for your throat to wear.
Some glide on surging breasts soft from the strain
of breathing after giving up your fear.
Yet your dam kept me from washing away
borders you maintained in solemn fight.
Although you try you never will delay
my own forces storming beyond your might.
We touch, now gentle, in a forced retreat.
Fermenting foam calms specters of defeat.

Page 14

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Revolutionary Babes
continued from page 12
we must learn to take the best from our combined pasts and to mold
them into a better future. It has become imperative for us, as
women creating, shaping and defining our culture, community
and future not to make those mistakes. We must not let our
women-centered, goddess-centered ideals become polluted and
hypocritical. If we worship the mother aspect of our Goddesses,
then we must give equal respect to the physical manifestation of
that Goddess on our plane of existence. If we extend respect to the
maiden, then we must nurture her participation in our community
by guiding her towards our ideals. If we do not, we are no better
than the Christian church, who preaches "love thy neighbor," yet
takes no steps towards enforcing those ideals in the personal
actions of its members. We must begin to hold the actions of our
community accountable to the ideals we espouse.
The job of being a mother in today's society is a huge task. As
a mother, my job is to support, teach, protect and encourage my
child. My task is to shape her into an adult who is whole and
complete in spite of society's attempt to do the opposite. In our
parenting, we create future generations of warriors to fill our place.
We teach strength, autonomy and individuality.We do not unconsciously breed ignorance or new generations of victims; we shape
intelligence. My heritage demands respect be given to my ancestors. This is a seemingly simple request. My ancestors made me
the possibility. I must pay homage to their willingness to bring me
forth in spite of the obstacles. I must understand their lives in order
to shape my own. I must bring to a woman's community (where
the dominant culture of that community is white-middle-class
women) my entire self. If this women's community strives to
validate the complexity, wholeness and autonomy of each of its
members, then it must give space to all to be whole in that
community. My children my ancestors and our ways are contained in myself: I cannot leave any behind.

• • •

·• Ill

•

~~z

COFFEE

ZON
137 EAST O H IO ST R EET
IN D IA N APOLIS. IN 46204
317 • 684 • 0432

Monday through Friday
6:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

~

I~
Booki and se,vices
g,aundec/ mhoolmg

Children learn what they live. We, as Lesbian parents, must
teach our children about the importance, creativity and beauty of
living in a women-centered reality. We, as Lesbian mothers, rely
on our sisters to fill the gap by providing acceptable role models
for our children. As the women in our community grow, heal and
embrace the strength and power of our womanhood, we pass down
a powerful legacy. We must find within ourselves the ability to
look into our future squarely and with gentility. This strength and
power must not reflect that which we strive to overcome. We, as
a community, must assist our children in understanding their
value, their intelligence and their importance by including them.
Looking to this season of festivals and conferences about
"all" women, I hope that we will remember to honor both ourselves and our children. Inviting all women to participate must
happen in conjunction with remembering that to invite the mother
and not the child is to issue no invitation at all. In some parts of
Africa, the belief is that a person does not fully pass away until the
last person alive who can speak her name and story has passed. I
charge us to apply that concept to our whole community. Let us
not pass away; let us not extinguish our fire; let us hand down the
torch and teach them how to bear it well. Let us welcome all
revolutionaries and visionaries, even the babes.
Editor's Note: Christina Springer is an African-American
Lesbian mother, writer and filmmaker. Co-founderofBack Porch
Productions: A Women's Media Collective, whose first film Out
ofOur Time is receiving international acclaim, she also serves not
only on the Board of Directors but is Coordinator of the Women
of Color Conference of the National Women's Music Festival.

BEST

SELLERS

AT

DREAMS

& SWORDS

Fiction
Lifestyles
Fried Green Tomatoes
In Her Day
Bar Stories
Journey to Zelindar
Lesbian/Gay
Lesbian Bedtime Stories
Places oflnterest to Women 90
Considering Parenthood
Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?
On Being Gay

and rreotiv1ty

317.251.4747
6367 Horth Guilford
Indianapolis, IH 46220

Saturday 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.
Monday Fndoy I /om · 1pm / Saturday 9am • 6pm

Spirituality
Women's Rituals
Book of Qualities
Listen to the Heart
Living in the Light
Motherpeace

Recovery
Dance of Intimacy
Courage to Heal Workbook
Courage to Heal
Dance of Anger
Getting the Love You Want

iiij]1
i~i,n1i11r,r1~1~11~Jmd,OK
M 001 111 585

Univiliill~lllllilf

Summer 1990

Page 15

THE CREEK
The creek,
The wise old oracle
Watched carefully by sister moon
Bathed white by her oscillating beam
Fed
Subterranean thoughts
Distilled from crystaline veins.

The Creek
Elusive spirit
Transformed

The creek
An eloquent vagabond
A transported spirit
Intricately slides
Mysteriously glides
While imaginery footsteps
Echo and orchestrate
Waterrecitals.

Gently nudges,
Tickles me
Awake from a
Spiritual slumber.

The creek
Buoyantly cascades
Performing ancient rituals
Cautiously beckoning
Whispering secrets
And channeling thoughts
Promising tales of exotic passages.

by Dianne Kyle

Wet'e. Exe. i -l-ed Abou-J. Our Spif-S Ups.J.a.irsl
tv\ o tie

Harriet Clare

5 prt.c.e

~r4..li> a.. \:)oo\\J l).~s-t~•rs

or dewn.-, f\o p ; h.. ~

Mo.re BaoKS

rcz.specto.ble. vpSfqi~s
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828 E. 64th Street
Indianapolis, IN 46220
317-253-9966

We're. re.Q.J ~ °"""" P~l. 0 E Wie K
1N/4h.. "-\..Y'ie.<.. .s~\eS e..f f....."'- "< -+. pSJ
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A

INFORMATION FORM

Summer 1990

I'm excited about Lavender Visions and I'd like to help by:
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Page 16

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Dorin

From terrific toddlers to
Lavender lovelies!

8

Joan

How many did you guess
correctly?

Carol

Deb

MG

The Lavender Visions Staff
Counterlockwise from top
left: Dorin, Candy, Carol,
MG.Nancy. Notpictured,
Joan and Deb: they can be
seen in Volume 2, Issue 1
as baby feminists.

SUBSCRIPTION/ORDER FORM
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Summer 1990

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Make checks payable to Lavender Visions. Send to: Lavender Visions, P.O. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077.



$ 2.25

VISIONS
Volume 2, Summer

Summer 1990

We Are Everywhere!
Physician
Social Worker

Air Force
Minnesota

Homemaker

Teacher

Writer
Real Estate Clerk
Colorado

Photographer

Page2

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

LV- GROWING INTO A NEW VISION:

PUBLISHERS RESPOND TO SURVEY

Dear Readers,
Welcome to Volume II of Lavender Visions! We are pleased
to report that this publication is a success-operating in the black
with a solid base of advertising supporters and continued growth
in the number of subscribers!
In planning for our second year, we have considered feedback
you have given us through your letters and the survey. Since it is
our intention to expand the length and content of LV , we have
elected to publish as a quarterly journal each season. You will note
that subscription rates reflect this change and are now $8.00/year.
If you have already renewed at the $12 rate, you will still receive
6 issues. Publishing four issues per year will allow a greater focus
of our energy and resources and give you more of what you've
asked for - greater depth and more topics.
This issue is a compilation of articles and letters you've sent
throughout the year - affirming We Are Everywhere. Themes
for the following issues are as follows: Fall (September, 1990),
"Coming Out" - as Lesbians, feminists, witches, Christians,
environmentalists, etc. Deadline for copy is July 15. the Winter
issue, (December, 1990) will focus on "Family" -as you define,
experience and affirm your own sense of family. Copy deadline

is October 15. The Spring issue (March, 1991) will cover Legal
issues for Lesbians. Copy deadline is January 15, 1991.
Our themes were provided from the survey results and each
issue will include other items of interest as well. We welcome and
need your articles, thoughts, reflections, ideas, feelings, prose,
poetry, stories, letters, pictures, humorous pieces, on anything,
anytime. Please let us hear from you. We also need to know of
happenings in your area for the Bulletin Board and Resources
listings.
Affirming ourselves, our lives and our culture is more than
advertising dollars. It is the energy of commitment, the support of
sharing the vision and contributing to our visibility with your own
voices and visions. We thank all of you who have nurtured
Lavender Visions this year with donations, subscriptions and your
energy. Let us dream together with growing vision and visibility.

RE-MEMBER OUR HERSTORY
DYKE - DIKE- means balance, the path; derived from the
goddess, Dike of Greece, granddaughterof Gaia, whose name literally meant "the way, the path." Her social function, along with
her two sisters, Eunomia ("Order") and Eirene ("Peace"), was
natural balance, the keeping of the balance of forces. The three
sisters, in conjunction with Demeter, were worshipped by women.
Dike was a storm goddess, a warrior, avenger against those
who challenged woman-oriented traditions. She is called "Natural
Justice" and her lover is Aletheia, "Truth". Dike was referred to
as "she from whom none may run away." She is depicted riding
in a cart holding scales of justice and a measuring rod.

(Source: Another Mother Tongue - Gay Words, Gay Worlds, by
Judy Grahn, Beacon Press, Boxton, 1984.)

VISIONS

Statement of Purpose
Lavender Visions is
for me and for you,
for all Lesbians,
for us to connect within
our larger community
so that together we may increase
our respect and support
for each other and ourselves,
affirming, celebrating and
honoring the women we are.
Published quarterly. Mailing address: Lavender Visions, P.O.
Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077. The opinions expressed in
Lavender Visions do not necessarily reflect the views of the
publishers and editors. All material in this publication is intended
for individuals, groups, organizations, and businesses which are
affirming of Lesbians and does not necessarily imply the sexual
orientation of any person except when specifically stated.
Publishers ............ Mary Gaul (M.G.), Nancy VanArsdall Jones
Computer Consultant .......................................... River Graphics
Mail Subscriptions
Subscriptions are available at $8 a year. Advertising rates available on request. Send address corrections to address above.

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page3

SARASWATI
by Kay Gardner

Editors Note: From the inception of Lavender Visions, the
goddess, Saraswati, has been our companion, our guide; her statue
is present during our staffings and reflections. Kay Gardner,
musician, writer and foremother shares her knowings of Saraswati
with us.
In 1974 when I was researching women's scales for my first
album,Mooncircles, I found two Greek modes dating from about
500 BC, both of which were attributed to women's cultures. The
Lesbian mode was invented by Sappho of Lesbos. The Lydian
mode was invented by the Lydians,
whom Monique Wittig describes in
Lesbian Peoples asa tribe of Amawns
which settled on Crete. (The Lydian
mode was banned by Plato in The
Republic for being "too female.")
I spent much of my composing
time writing in these two modes until
one day I thought, "What would happen if I combined these two sclaes for
a brand new mode? (Scales and modes
are the same things, i.e. specific sequences of musical tones.)
For awhile I wrote in what I called
my "mixed mode," and I grew to like it
even though it was strange and exotic
to the ear. In the late '70's, when I read
Peter Hamel's Through Music to the
Self, I found that "my" mixed mode
was indeed an ancient Hindu raga
(ragas, modes and scales are different
terms for musical sequences)! The
raga was called "Saraswati" and was
named after a Hindu goddess of music
and the sciences.
"Eureka," I cried, feeling that this
discovery confirmed my notion that
certain scales were woman-identified.
I also learned that of the 5000 ragas of
South India, half were named after
goddesses! (Wein the West work with
fewer than 75 scales, none of which are gender-identified.)
But I discovered more than just a new scale with which to
compose and improvise: I discovered Saraswati as a muse and a
constant source of inspiration. She has been a friend and spirit
mentor to me since 1981 when I played her raga on my recording
Moods and Rituals . Later I used the scale for the first and last
movements of A Rainbow Path (1984) and for "Traveling" on
Garden of Ecstasy (1989).

****

Two years ago, on a sound healer's tour to Asia, we visited the
island of Bali in Indonesia. Most oflndonesia is Moslem, but Bali
is predominantly Hindu with vestiges of a more ancient animism.
I loved Bali because its people live their spirituality. There were
10,000 temples on this tiny island; the music, dance and theater
were based on morality plays, mostly the Ramayana and other
Indian myths; and there were images of Saraswati and other gods
and goddesses everywhere. I found Saraswati depicted in wooden
sculptures, in paintings and on batik. Her image varied, of course,
depending upon the artist; but she was easily recognizable.
Saraswati has four arms, two of
which hold a stringed instrument, traditionally the vina, a kind of sitar. A
third hand holds a scroll or a book; the
fourth hand holds a lotus bud. She
stands or sits on an open lotus flower,
an Asian water lilly, and is flanked by
swans.
In the Hindu trinity, comprised of
Creator, Protector and Destroyer, Saraswati, with the god Brahma, represents the Creator. (Goddesses Kali and
Dura, with the god Shiva are Destroyers; the goddess Sri and the god Vishnu
are protectors. All over the island were
images of Sri carved in wood and
painted ... she looked like a flying
mermaid Wonder-Woman.)
Why was Saraswati the Creatrix?
What patriarchal society has called the
science of physics, matriarchal cultures have known as the laws of Nature. With every single sound that
occurs, a whole series of overtones, or
harmonics, occur simultaneously
though they diminish in audibility as
they climb higher. If we were able to
readily hear the scale created by overtones, we would hear the Saraswati
raga! This makes the Saraswati raga
the most natural scale in the world. By
natural, I mean that she can be heard in ocean surf, in the wind
blowing through trees or across telephone wires- in all phenomena caused by our Mother Nature.
It is for this reason that Saraswati presides over creation, the
fine arts and all creative endeavors. May she continue to bless us
with her joyful song!

Page4

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

Resources
Indianapolis (317}
AIDS Hotline: 257-HOPE, answered 7-1 lPM, every evening.
AIDS: Living the Journey Together: a family therapy group for
persons with AIDS and a care partner-parent, sibling,
love.friend.
Sponsored by Courageous Living Counseling Services, located in Westview Hospital Professional Bldg.,925-0043.
Catholic Lesbian Support Group: open to all Catholic and nonCatholic Lesbians who want to explore their Christian faith
within the context of their sexuality, 925-6866 (Martha) or
357-7964 (Carol).
Community Referral Service (Gay/Lesbian Switchboard),
P. 0. Box 2152, Indpls. 46206, 253-GAYS, Aids: 257HOPE.
Dignity meets at St. Thomas Aquinas Church, 46th & Illinois,
Sundays at 6 PM; P.O.Box 431, Indpls.46206, 924-6578
(Drew)
Feminist Writers: 5138 E. North St., Indianapolis, 46219; 3577964 (Carol).
Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (Quaker); 635-8646
(Diane or Perri).
Gay AA meets at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Sundays at 7 PM;
632-7864.
Gay and Lesbian Codependents Anonymous meets at Winona
Hospital, 3232 N. Meridian St.; 925-1135 (Don), 636-4986
(Joe), 297-0386 (Pam).
Gay Parents Coalition of Indianapolis meets at Holy Eucharist
Church, 38th & Illinois, 2nd Sunday of each month at 7:30
PM; 253-2280 (John)
Indianapolis Youth Group for Lesbian and Gay youth, ages 23
and under, meets be-weekly. For more information, call 253GA YS and ask for organization's contact person.
Ilndianapolis NOW meets at Planned Parenthood, 3219 N.
Meridian, 2nd Wednesday of each month at 6:30 PM; 9254641.
Indianapolis Pitch-In: Monthly pitchin-in dinners provide social and networking opportunities for all Lesbians. Generally, pitch-in is scheduled for the second Friday of each
month, beginning at 7 PM. Location, and directions, usually
is available at Dreams & Swords at least a week prior to each
Pitch-in. (253-9966)
Indianapolis Retirement Group: c/o Becky Thacker, 5831 So.
Harlan St., Indpls. 46227.
Integrity meets at All Saints Church, 16th and Central, Mondays
at 6:30 PM; 635-3744.
Justice, Inc.: Lesbian rescource for issues re: state laws, community/police relations, civil rights, Lesbian/gay conferences,
other special events.
Lesbian Discussion Group: 2nd & 4th Thursdays of each month,
7:00-8:30, at 6356 N. Guilford; 577-2245 for info.
Lesbian Incest Survivors Therapy Group. Contact Linda
Gensheimer, (219) 426-5778 (Fort Wayne).
Older Women's Network for Women Over 40 meets at 7707
Lancer Lane, 3rd Tuesday of each month;54 7-7702 Carol or

Sharon or Dreams & Swords, 253-9966.
Our Parents Aren't Straight (for children of Lesbians and
Gays,) 3rd Tuesday of each month. No age limits. Parents
can/will meet in different room for discussions, 353-6636
(Debbi or Vicki) 881-0786 (Donna, Ruth, Judy).
Overeaters Anonymous (for women and men) meets at Dreams
and Swords, 828 E. 64th Street, Fridays at 6:30 PM, 2539966.
P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meets at
Butler University in Atherton Center.Room 312, 2nd Sunday
of each month at 2:00 PM; 251-9307 (Donna).
University Gay/Lesbian Alliance meets at 3754 N. Illinois St.
(Lambda Center). Call 274-2585.
Women's Open Network: 274-5041 or 274-2585 (Sue Moenius).
Womenspired: 274-5041 or 274-2585 (Sue Moenius).
Bloomington (812)
Bloomington Switchboard: 336-4299
Gay/Lesbian Alliance: 332-1847
Lesbian / Gay Jews: for info, write Spinoza, P.O.Box 1164,
Bloomington, 47402; call 331-2708 (Deb.)
SPARKS: a social/educational forum for Lesbians. Contact
Marcia, 334-0414 or Carolyn, 339-4283.
Columbus (812}
Pitch-In: for info, call 376-0784
Switchboard Concern: 293-8671 (24 hours).
Evansville (812)
Tri-State Alliance Meeting meets at Unitarian Universalist
Church, 856 So. Kentucky Ave., 4th Sun of each month.
Fort Wayne (219)
Dignity/Fort Wayne, P. 0. Box 12151, 56862.
Drop-In meets at Up the Stairs Community Center, 3426 Broadway, Fridays at 7:30PM
Fort Wayne Women's Bureau: 303 E. Washington Blvd .. 4247977 .Peer Counseling: 9 AM-2PM - 426-0023 .Rape Awareness Program Hotline: 426 RAPE.
Lafayette <317}
Dignity/Lesbian Group: P.O.4665,Lafayette,47903,474-6590,
463-6050.
Liberty
The Pearl: Feminist resource/journal. Contact: Natalie Isaac,
editor, 304 South Fairground, Liberty, IN 47353.
Mishawaka <219}
Open Arms: Monthly newsletter for Michiana Lesbians. Contact: PO Box 845, Mishawaka, IN 46544. Yearly subscription: $10.00; sample copy: $1.00. Make check payable to:
Roberta Miller.
South Bend <219}
Help Line: 232-2522 (9AM-5PM)
Hot Line: 232-3344 (24 Hours)
IUSBU Womyn's Center: 929 Greenlawn - 237-4494.
Monthly Lesbian Potluck and weekly Lesbian support group,
291-3720.

Summer 1990

Page 5

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE SUPPORTERS' PAGE
To advertise here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at Lavender Visions P.O. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

Nancy VanArsdall Jones, M.A.

MARGARET MIHOLICK,

ACSW

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Individual, Couple, Family and Group Therapy

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Indianapolis, Indiana 46220

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(317) 253-5160

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NBCC Certified

6360 Guilford
Indianapolis, IN 46220

Page6

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

"Invisible or simply ignored?" : A Black Lesbian's point of view
An interview with Candas I. Barnes by Denise Senter

Editor's Note: This article represents a continuation of
conversations held with black women who are Lesbian and/or
woman identified. The journeys shared through these reflections
have been diverse, yet each has shared a common theme. This
present conversation is a gift from Candas I. Barnes, a beautifully
creative and inspiring woman currently studying at the Rochester
Instutute in Rochester, New York. Candas has kept close ties with
Indiana since experiencing the 1989 National Women's Music
Festival in Bloomington. As a result of sharing stories, Candas
shared her thoughts on her experiences in Rochester and her
perspective as a black Lesbian woman.
" ... .invisibility, which goes beyond anything that either black
men or white women experience and tell about in their writing, is
one reason it is so difficult for me to know where to start. ... "
(Barbara Smith, "Towards a Black Feminist Criticism," Conditions 2, 1977 .)
LV: Candas, you have made a significant move since last
year. How has this move made an impact on you?
CB: I moved here to become a student at the Rochester
Institute of Technology, after living for the past 28 years in Washington, D.C. Shortly after arriving, I began to feel something was
wrong. As I walked around campus, through the city, visitied the
Lesbian and Gay bars, this feeling never left me. I attempted to
write about it in my journal and dido 't "know where to start", and
I experienced great frustration trying to give voice to the loss of
balance I felt.
LV: How did you .-ecognize what was happening to you?
CB: It wasn't until I had been in Rochester for several weeks
that I began to recognize the feeling. One evening in September,
I went to a dance concert featuring the Urban Bushwomen, a dance
collective based in New York City. The company performed a
piece which was centered around the theme of homelessness. The
dance portrayed people who are treated as if they do not exist,
people who are walked past every day because they are different,
uncomfortable to acknowledge or look at. All of a sudden it hit me.
I was watching these dancers breathe life into what had been
troubling me, what I'd been feeling since arriving in Rochester. A
feeling I had thought unique to me was being flung around on the
stage for everyone to look at. I am sure this vision did not have
the same effect on any other individual in that room.
L V: That's a very powerful analogy, Candas. Are there other
instances in which you feel or have felt invisible?
CB: Although I am not a person without a home, I am a
someone who has been treated, on a regular basis, as if she does
not exist. I am a black Lesbian. As hard as it was for me to believe,

there are people who move through the world on a daily basis and
never consider, or even notice, the existence of people like myself
who look different-at least not until they do something "radical"
or"blatant". There are those who claim they promote equality and
justice for all, but categorically deny the existence of members of
their subculture who are not white and/or male. There are those
who could, and have, allowed me to enter a room, walk down the
street, or even to greet them, and looked through me as ifl were not
present.
LV: How different was your experience in Rochester from
your home community in Washington?
CB: What has been most difficult for me to deal with about
this situation was the fact that I had spent over IO years developing a network in Washington which insulated me from the racism
and homophobia of the Lesbian and Gay community in that town.
Washington is the home of one of America's larger Lesbian and
Gay communities. It is also a town filled with black people,
racism, sexism and homophobia. In spite of this, I actively sought
and worked to become a member of the "community" in D .C. I
became well integrated into this community, and forgot what it
was like to be without it. I somehow managed not even to consider
what
it
.-------------,
would be
like to be
My life has been greatly enwith O ut
these people
riched through experiencing
who had
made me
other cultures and ways of
feel comfortable and
thinking. Icouldonlypitythose
validated.
And then I
whowereafraidortooignorant
moved to
RocheS ter. 1
to learn about others.
franc tically sought
-,••••••••••■ the loving, supportive Lesbian community I was told I'd find upon arriving here. I went to
meetings, social gatherings, bars, haunted the bookstores and
found no one to connect with. I found myself reaching out to
people and being tolerated at best, but usually ignored. I wondered
what the cause of my invisibility was. I tried not to assume it was
because I was black. I looked for any other reason I could find to
excuse it. "Maybe it's 'cuz I'm new in town and no one recognizes
me" (I know how we can be about accepting strangers). "Maybe
it's cuz I wear glasses". "Maybe it's cuz my hair is braided". I
looked for any excuse I could find. Meanwhile I was pissed off that
I felt a need to search for excuses.
LV: How would you like to respond to those who treat you
as though they can't relate to you?
CB: I get the feeling that people believe I could not possibly
discuss politics, literature, economics or life except as it directly

continued on page 11

Summer 1990

Page7

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE SUPPORTERS' PAGE
To advertise here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at Lavender Visions P .0. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

wY4.r~~

6251 north wlnthrop ave., aulte 4
Indianapolis, IN 46220
317/255-7556

Books • Cassettes • Videos • Cards • Classes
Hours: 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. Monday - Friday
11 a.m. -5 p.m. Saturday

codependency end ACOA
counseling

6358 North Guilford Avenue
Indianapolis, IN 46220
(317) 255-9907

custom jewellers
gold-silversmiths and lapidaries

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in
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janet cullen and carrie foley 812-988-2729
p .o . box 234 nashville , indiana 47448
closed wed.

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(317) 685-2834

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(219)486-2258

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(317) 255-2459
l .; , .' ,

Specializing in Personal Computers for Business
Selection• Installation• Training• Desktop Publishing

Candace L. Shearls
Computer Consultant

re

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Page8

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS SURVEY SUMMARY:
THE COMMUNITY PERSPECTIVE
by Dorin Gridley
We asked for your comments in the February/March, 1989
issue. About 15% of our subscribers responded, which is an
excellent return on any survey effort! Our respondents represented the states of Colorado, Connecticut, Minnesota, Ohio and
90% from Indiana. We heard from people in thirteen different
counties in Indiana - 54% residing in Marion County. Our advertisers are being supported by 65-75% of our readers who live
in the proximity oflndianapolis.
If you check out the coverof this issue, you will see a sampling
of the various occupation of LV readers. We, indeed, are
everywhere!
We asked which of our articles and features you read regularly. Apparently most everyone reads every issue cover to cover.
The top three issues of interest were Lesbian rights, Women's
rights and legal issues, followed by spirituality and peace, homophobia, abortion and ecofeminism. We hope you will send items
on these topics for publication in forthcoming issues.
Since the survey left space for narrative remarks, you confirmed what we've always known: Lesbians have a lot to say and
hunger to hear what other Lesbians have to say. Here is a summary

of topics suggested: coming out stories, stories on women,
successful business women, needs of aging Lesbians, adolescent
sexuality, global community, family issues, the arts, socializing,
and more sharings from other communities.
Many respondents took time to offer constructive criticism
which we greatly appreciate. The general consensus among
respondents appears to be the introduction of greater diversity into
LV. There is a genuine desire to read about the lives of women and
Lesbians everywhere, not just Central Indiana. So, please, readers
let us hear from you!
We have published comments and suggestions under the
"Readers' Reflections and Visions" column in this issue. Please let
us hear your responses.
In reviewing the survey results, we are encouraged to find that
LV is meeting many of the needs of the Lesbian community,
wherever individuals reside. We are committed to incorporating
your ideas to the best of our abilities and resources in furture
issues.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond. Communicating
is part of community building.

INDIANAPOLIS WOMEN'S RETIREMENT GROUP: AN UPDATE
In January, 1990, a notice was posted at Dreams & Swords
Bookstore in Indianapolis and in LV, inviting participation in a
retirement group. The stated purpose of the group is to establish
a retirement community, probably in the Indianapolis area, so that
we will have a safe, comfortable, affordable old age without
isolation from others of our own kind, but with reasonable privacy
within the group.
The stated approach is to reach some concrete, specific
conclusions by the end of 1995 and to begin to act on those conclusions. A group of 6-12 people will incorporate and make
decisions within the next five years about who will participate, the
physical environment, geographical location, timetable, individual duties and resources.
The introductory meeting took place on March 1, 1990 and
was attended by eight persons. The primary topic of discussion
was each person's views on: a) her "worst case" retirement
situation, b) her"bestcase" or ideal retirement situation, and c) the
most realistic retirement.· (The consensus was that we all feared
becoming "bag ladies," we'd all like to live on the beach, but that
we '11 most likely end up in apartments in Indianapolis and go to the
seashore as often as possible!)
Clearly, the group is still in a state of change, but visions and
plans continue to emerge. A proposed workshop at the Older
Women's Series of NWMF will offer further opportunities for

brainstorming, networking and support. If you are interested in
participating in the Indianapolis Women's Retirement Group, or
are forming a similar group and wish to network with us, contact
us: Indianapolis Retirement Group
c/o Becky Thacker
5831 S. Harlan Street
Indianapolis, IN 46227

Subscription Renewal !
Look at the address label on your Lavender Visions
mailing envelope! The date on the far right of the first
line indicates the date of the last issue under your current
subscription. If your envelope has been stamped with a
renewal notice, please send us your renewal along with
the subcription form from page 16 of this issue. Please
renew by August 1, 1990 so that you don't miss a single
issue. Your continuing support is greatly appreciated!

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page9

Bulletin Board
National Women's Music Festival (NWMF), Thursday- Sunday ,May 31-June3, Bloomington, IN. Herearesomeofthe
featured performers, speakers, writers: Minnie Brua Pratt,
Karla Jay, Kay Leigh Hagan, Shekinah Mountainwater,
Arisika, Nan Brooks & Jane Winslow, Buffy Sainte-Marie,
Adrianne Torf, Ferron, Holly Near, Heather Bishop, and
Deidre McCalla. Don't miss it- save some vacation days
for these dates! For more information, contact the Indiana
University Conference Registrar at (812) 331-7799.
"Into the Gay '90s with Pride",Pride Celebration on Monument
Circle in Indianapolis, Saturday, June 16, 5-9 PM. Part of
Indiana's 1990 Gay/Lesbian Pride Week, sponsored by Justice, Inc. For more information, call Ruth Peters (317) 2531460 (home) or (317) 635-4059 (work) or call Justice (317)
634-9212.
TLC Draggins softball game with the Ohio Geriatrics team
will take place on Sunday, June 10, 1990 at 1:00. The
game will be played behind Keystone Middle School, on
S. Keystone Ave. In case of rain, we will meet at the
school and then proceed to Noble Roman's on Southport
Rd. off S. Madison Ave.
Womyn's Tennis League. A spring-summer womyn's tennis
league is forming. Will include both beginners and more
experienced players. Some instruction for beginners could be
available. Please contact Dian Miller (317) 924-7906 (work)
or (317) 243-8939 (home) or Laurie Anderson (317) 9247906.
Branching OUT Productions
Women's Community Series:
September 7, 1990 - Jennifer Justice & Susan Wilson
with Dance afterwards!
"Lavender Hearts Returns!" Lesbian Erotica Love Sto
ries by Jennifer Justice with Special Slide Show by Susan
Wilson (all new show!)

Branching OUT Productions con't
8:00 PM - 10:30 PM - Lavender Hearts
10:30 PM- 1:00 AM- Dance!
St. Peter Claver Center, Indy
October 13, 1990 - Lucie Blue Tremblay & Heather
Bishop!
8:00 PM, The Walker Theatre, Indy
November 9, 1990 - Kate Clinton Birthday Show!
8:00 PM, The Walker Theatre, Indy

Program/Seminar Series
Eliana Gil - October 5th, 9:00 - 4:30 PM
Omni Hotel North
Author of Outgrowing the Pain and Treatment of
Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse
Mike Lew - November 2, 9:00 - 4:30 PM
Hilton at the Airport
Author of Victims No Longer & Men Recovering From
Incent And Other Sexual Child Abuse.
Harriett Goldhor Learner - November 28,
9:00 - 4:30 PM
Holiday Inn Airport
Author of Dance of Anger, Dance of Intimacy and
Women In Therapy
For further information on any of the above pro
grams, be sure to phone 317/637-2906 and leave
your name & address. Please indicate WHICH Series
you are inquiring about. Information will be mailed
to you late summer, early fall.

Please send information about upcoming events for
publication in Bulletin Board to:
Lavender Visions, PO Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077.

GAY PRIDE CELEBRATION ON THE CIRCLE
The last week of June is Gay Pride Week with activities planned daily throughout the state. Justice, Inc. is
sponsoring the first Gay/Lesbian Pride Celebration on Monument Circle on Saturday, June 30. The Celebration
will take shape as a Street Fair from noon until 9 PM, with a Pride Rally at 2 PM and various speakers and
entertainers until 7 PM. Our own Deb Mullins will be among the many entertainers, along with Lynn Lavner,
a comedienne from New York City as MC of the festivities. Various statewide Gay/Lesbian support groups,
organizations and businesses will have fund-raising booths offering varied items and refreshments as well as
giving information about their respective endeavors. This is a great opportunity to visibly support ourselves and
each other. Encourage your straight friends to support this event as well and make a blow against homophobia.

Page 10

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE

Summer 1990

LAVENDER PAGE

To be listed here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at: Lavender Visions, P.O. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

ADVERTISING

FLORISTS

Accent Advertising Co., Inc., 5420 East St. Clair St.,
Indianapolis, IN 46219 ....................................... (317) 357-6530

Town and Country Florist of Carmel, 2182 E.116th St.
Keystone Square Mall, Carmel, IN ................... (317) 846-4221

BOOKSTORES/MEDIA

HELP WANTED

Aquarius Books for a Feminist Future, 116 No. Grant St.,
Bloomington, IN 4 7402 ........................................... (812)336-0988
Awakening, 6358 No. Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN 46220
.............................................................................. (317) 255-9907
Dreams and Swords, Inc., 828 E. 64th St., Indianapolis, IN
46220 .................................................................. (317) 253-9966
Iris, Inc., 6367 Guilford, Indianapolis, IN 46220 ................ .
........................................................... (317) 251-4747 [251-IRIS]

Wanted:Womyn to do standard housecleaning.
Permanent position, 4 hrs/wk, $7/hr; 10 miles south of Bluffton, IN; references required. Ask for Barb ......... (219) 346-2575
JEWELLERS
The Brass Ring, Custom jewellers, gold-silversmiths and
lapidaries, Antique Alley, Nashville, IN ..... ...... (812) 988-2729
MASSAGE/RELAXATION THERAPY

CHIROPRACTORS
Pyramid Chiropractic, Peg VanDenburgh, DC, 8648
Purdue Rd., Indianapolis, IN 46268 .................... (317)876-0887

Marybeth Colefax .............................................. (317) 255-6043
Julianne Houk ................................................... (317) 685-2834
Maryann Steinhart, 6407 No. Michigan Road, Indianapolis,
IN 46268 ............................................................ (317) 257-2350

CONSTRUCTION/HOME IMPROVEMENT
PROFESSIONAL SERVICES
Ceramic Tile/Drywall, Installation and Repair. Free
Estimates ............................................................. (317) 783-4928
Anne Shellaba:-ger, Mooresville, IN ................. (317) 996-2115
Shipp Construction Inc ................ (317) 254-9126 or 252-2404
Sunshine Services ............................................... (317) 353-6636
COUNSELING/PERSONAL GROWTH
Mariel Burch. MSW, 3508-A Stellhorn Rd., Ft. Wayne,
IN 46815 .............................................................. (219)486-2258
Micky Craney, 6251 No. Winthrop Ave., Suite 4,
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ........................................ (317) 255-7556
Mary Gaul, EdD, 6360 Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN
46220 ................................................................... (317)253-5160
Martine Faist, MA, AT ,.................................... (317) 253-8499
Nancy VanArsdall Jones, MA, 6360 Guilford Ave.,
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ....................................... (317) 253-5160
Pat Jordan, MS .................................................. (317) 257-2350
Gloria M. Linville, ACSW, Kokomo, IN ......... (317) 459-0538
Margaret Miholick, ACSW, 6360 Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN 46220 ..................................................... (317) 253-5160
Passages: Psychological Services-Joan Farrell, PhD.
HSPP, Ida Shaw, Finlay Grier, PhD, HSPP,6367 Guilford Ave.
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ....................................... (317) 251-1110
June Thompson,ACSW, CADA ...................... (317) 251-7051

Mary A. Byrne, Realtor, 1202 No. Pennsylvania , Indianapolis,
IN 46202 ........................................ (317) 638-1020 or 923-5574
Haynes Bookkeeping, Tax service specializing in small
business and S-corporations ............................... (317) 293-3190
Candace L. Shearls, Computer Consultant ...... (317) 255-8328
Shopping Sprees by Diane, 6701 No. College Ave., Suite
305, Indianapolis, IN 46220 .............................. (317) 255-2459
RESTAURANTS
Coffee Zon, Ruth Peters, 137 E. Ohio St., Indianapolis, IN
46204 .................................................................. (317) 684-0432
WANTED-INFORMATION
Interested in quilting? Call Micky .................. (317) 356-4914
Wanted: Copy of Out From Under: Sober Dykes, Our Friends
Jean Swallow, Ed. Call Terie ............................ (616) 244-8657

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

"Invisible or simply ignored?"
continued from page 6
relates to black people. Unlike members of the dominant culture,
I was required to learn about people and events other than those
directly related to me. For this I am thankful, because I have a
multi-layered world view. I was saddened, however, when I
realized there were people who did not even notice that I and others
like me were missing from their experience or knowledge of the
world. I wondered what it must be like to have knowledge only
of oneself. I imagined it to be incredibly boring. My life has been
greatly enriched through experiencing other cultures and ways of
thinking. I could only pity those who were afraid or too ignorant
to learn about others.
Pat Parker, one of the first black Lesbians to speak out against
racism, sexism, and homophobia, died during the summerof 1989
and has yet to be anthologized or given recognition by any but her
black sisters. This is ironic in light of Parker's words in "Where
Will You Be?" (Conditions 5, 1977):
" .... they will come/because we are/defined as opposite/perverse/and we are perverse/....and they will come./fhey will
come for/the perverts/... & it won't matter/if you 're/homosexual,
not a faggot/lesbian, not a dyke/gay, not a queer/... They will come
for/the perverts/and where will/you be/ When they come?"
L V: Do you believe we have more in common with each other
than differences?
CB: We can all attest to the fact that homophobia does not
discriminate. It is hatred of Lesbians and Gay men simply because
they exist. Perpetrators of this hatred probably will not stop to
check if the Lesbian or Gay man they hate is black or white. They
will hate each of us equally. I believe we should love each of us
just as equally. Not when it is convenient. Not when it is
politically correct to seek the "black Lesbian" perspective. Not
because of anything other than decency. There is more strength in
acceptance than there ever will be in exclusion.
L V: How do you plan to continue your commitment against
racism and homophobia?
CB: I, as one black Lesbian, will continue to reach out. I
refuse to isolate myself. Or to accept the isolation which is
imposed upon me. I speak only for myself. It should not be seen
as representative of black Lesbians. In addition, it is important for
me to note that where I have said black, the words Chicana,
Puertoriqquena, Asian (or any other race) might just as easily have
been substituted when the discussion is about racism. However,
the only perspective I feel qualified to talk about is my own. I have
therefore chosen to speak from my experience with racism as a

black Lesbfan in this community.

er

Page 11

READERS' REFLECTIONS AND VISIONS
- It would be interesting to add a section of "Dear So-So"
to answer questions regarding interpersonal relationships, health
concerns, advice, quips and quotes. I would be interested in
.
.
helping if this develops.
- Would like to see more in-depth book and music reviews,
letters from readers, coverage of Womyn's festivals, poetry.
- How about more for those of us here in northern Indiana?
- yeah - how do I get up the gumption to attend events alone,
since I don 'tknow anybody yet? I want to hear/read about Lesbian
mothers (my kids are pre-schoolers.) I'm isolated and I'm new.
- Where approprate, interject humor... Thanks for asking.
Thanks for LV.
-Keep up the good work! We Are Everywhere - even in
southern Indiana. We seem to be ignored and forgotten at times.
Withholding my name for the present time, I will try to help push
Lavender Visions in this community. We need you in so many
ways. Thanks!
- Some articles seem too centered on one person's experience and reading them is like reading a meditation or journal entry,
and on balance, they don't speak concretely enough for me/us.
More poetry and literary pieces would add most-needed balance.
Perhaps, then I'd find the "personal" articles not so overwhelming.
- I would like to see Lavender Visions be able to expand and
include "stuff' from all over the state. Yes, I will volunteer to do
some of that work when something is planned. I would like more
hard news that affects Lesbians.
-Keep up the good work! We really enjoy your articles and
listing of festivals and concerts. This is a slow time for the Fort
Wayne crowd, but we enjoy our interactions with the Indianapolis
community.
- I like the profiles of different Lesbians in the area the best.
- I really enjoy readingLV. I wish there were more articles
to read, as I catch myself reading parts of it over and over. I don't
want it to end. Thank you and keep up the good work.
- I like your listing of services and meeting places and dates.
- Thanks for being a regular part of our lives! Keep up the
good work!
-As a new subscriber toLVI' d like to say that I enjoy reading
the articles and knowing that some of the local businesses are
"family." LV is the best way I know to keep close and in touch with
other women who are just like me.
- I'm proud to support the efforts of everyone atLV and am
interested in contributions to this wonderful publication. Keep up
the good work, ladies!
- Lavender Visions has been a welcome connection to the
women's community. We are new (within a year) to the area and
know no one in the women's community. Our schedules and/or
public positions in the area have prevented us from attending many
of the events - and making any social connections. We would
like to get better acquainted, but have not succeeded yet.
- Your newsletter is great! Very professional looking well organized. Keep up the good work!
- I think you 're doing a beautiful job.

Page 12

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

Revolutionary Babes: Parenting as a Political Action
by Christina Springer
As a mother, I find raised eyebrows, curious stares and
concerned faces, as my child and I enter into Lesbian gatherings.
These same Lesbian gatherings contend that they are functions
welcoming all women. They suggest that they are events in which
the participants are mostly woman-centered, often, Goddess-centered.
How easily we fall prey to the illusion of self-created power
in feminism: simple-mindedly drifting- pawn to pawn-on the
chessboard of the Patriarchy. Viewing ourselves as independent
thinkers, capable of redefining and surpassing expectations from
the dominant culture. Ahh, yes, we are women who dance in the
mirror, seeing self-created reflections with no practicality towards
realism. The staunch feminists, the radical intellectuals, the
ignorant theorists of improbable calculations have accepted the

by Denise Rambo

destiny of compromised originality. The white separatist feminists often are so like the art of their culture - decorative,
impractical- but ever so astounding, thought provoking, and precious.
It is always with great reservation that I inflict my piece of the
future into this present time. I enter, a Pan-Africanist Lesbian
feminist mother: a practical basket woven of a myriad of colors,
tight enough to carry water over three miles without leaks; a water
basket, as useful and practical, as it is pretty, bearing life essence,
spiritandfull-bodiedasthemoon. Wegivelifetothefuture,again
and again. We have survived, thrived, remained alive- in spite
and hope- throughout millenia. We pass this legacy with the
knowledge that the struggle woven into our lives takes on improved patterns with each successive generation. The legacy of
our continued existence becomes more and more exquisite as our
gift is life.

Conscious parenting (which by nature of our culture's unwillingness to affirm alternatives) is the type of parenting many
Lesbians are beleaguered with, by virtue of having to be thoughtful and considerate of every action's ramifications. Through our
parenting, we become political, as we seek to affirm, reflect and
portray our lives as normal and natural - to both society and our
children. Yet, more than that, the dedication to rasing healthy,
whole, self-loving children is an action directly in conflict with the
aims of the Patriarchy. We parent politically by nature ofnurturing positive lives, reaping bountiful harvests intrinsically more
sustaining and long lasting, than success in career. We empower
our own lives. We, parents of revolutionary babes, (who are
destined to survive a culture not conducive to health and peace in
childhood) in our motherhood, build your better future.
There are some, so desolate in spirit, who believe us to be
agents coerced into unethical actions by the Patriarchy. There are
those who believe motherhood in Lesbianism to be counterrevolutionary, on-feminist, destroyers of action in a war played on
the defensive. I argue we are warriors who are tromping into the
battleground on the offensive. We give thought to this Patriarchy,
but do not expend energy attempting to outwit it. We challenge its
continued existence through our lives- lives not geared towards
rectifying past wrongs, strategical maneuvers, or devoted to
analysis of crimes against womanhood. We combine all of those
efforts through our parenting. We transcend the defensive, understand the work to be done, live in a positive woman-centered
reality and teach those values ''lour children. We rear our children
from this place of power. We do not dwell in the negative, but
make a tangible contribution to the creating of the positive. A need
no longer remains for a defensive stance when one's offensive is
precisely reflective of all the meanings of the word itself.
It is easy to thrash those whose importance in life is most
important-the mothers. We, womyn creating womyn spaces,
come together in an effort to synthesize wholeness into self. We
come together to heal ourselves, gather courage to continue
movement forward. Many of us claim to worship the Goddess and
her infinite manifestations throughout our lives. Yet, we forget to
rememberthe womb-the root-that brought us to our full flower
in womanhood. We disregard herstory, leaving us open to
incorrect analysis of the present and future. We forget that female
hatred of the mother, female hatred of other women, is a twentieth
century concept created by men. We forget that a century ago,
white women's society (that is, middle-class and wealthy women
of 17th-18th century US) was a closed and autonomous society
separate from men, where the idea of giving voice to maliciousness to other women and their ways was a foreign concept. We
accept media interpretations and the educational system's elimination of a documented women-centered time. In our ignorance
of self, we demonstrate the same behavior of our oppressors by
excluding mothers from our community. As a unified community,
continued on page 14

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page 13

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
As a minister, I frequent the halls of the local hospital visiting
my congregation members who are undergoing tests or preparing
for surgery. I notice people tend to reach out more during these
times of crises. Touch is important. The first thing that usually
happens on a hospital visit is I grasp the hands of the patient and
family member(s). I represent the faith community called the
Church when I go to the hospital rooms. Visits vary and last no
more than 15 minutes, but the touch of love from someone who
cares makes a difference in bringing one wholeness and wellness
again.
My journey from the pastoral care department to the patient
rooms takes me through the back corridors.. a route that runs
directly past the mental health/addictions unit. On the door is a
picture poster: two roads, one to the left, another to the right-a
beautiful scene of creation. It reads:
Two roads
diverged in a wood
I chose the one less traveled by,
and that has made
all the difference.
The road less traveled is a road I wanted to travel, but dared
not because of what I might find. Fear filled my being: fear
stemming from our society's and the church's rejection of homosexuality. I knew what I felt in my heart, and it definitely wasn't
heterosexual! I believed that God called me to be a minister and
being a Lesbian was part of that call, part of God's grace and
acceptance of who I am. I'd never associated with the Lesbian
community because of the fear that my ordination procedures may
have been questioned. I'm still in the closet, BUT my "coming
out" is being a wonderful process. Let me share it with you.
Some months ago, I decided it was time to journey that road
less traveled. I was ordained, had a full-time pastorate, and felt the
time to go within was NOW. My lover of six years and I were
splitting up. She had moved East and I was feeling lonely. One
other ministry colleague, who is also a Lesbian, was helpful. She
suggested some counseling might help me, preferably from a
counselor who was Lesbian. I gave it some thought. Here I was
surrounded by my congregation, yet they could not understand
what was happening; my job would be at stake if they knew. I was
in a world of people and at the same time in a world of isolation.
Have you ever felt that way?
Well, I decided to start dealing with my feelings as a Lesbian,
a southern Lesbian, and a Lesbian minister. My first counseling
session was like a big explosion. I had locked these feelings inside
for so long. Then the dam collapsed, the flood gates opened, and
the tears came. It's hard to feel good about yourself when the
world tells you being Lesbian is wrong, immoral, and biblically
unacceptable. So, for the next couple of months, I worked on
getting out the shame and homophobia that has paralyzed my
emotions for so long. (I'm still working on this.)
My counselor suggested I go to the Lesbian Discussion
Group. My courage level was really low, needless to say! She
never forced me to go, but she encouraged me to take this step in
the "coming out" process at a time when I felt I was ready. Seven

months later, I made it to my first meeting. Don't quote me, but
I was scared shitlessl Fifteen minutes into that first meeting, my
nerves began to settle. I was home .. .I finally had come home!
I've made some wonderful friends in the Lesbian community.
The Discussion Group is a priority in my calendar now; I've been
to a pitch-in dinner, and now I'm looking forward to my first
dance! There has also been a new dimension added to my ministry
in that other Lesbians are attending my church, and I've helped
them work through some spiritual/life matters. This gives me
hope for the future in being a pastor of an open and affirming
church some day. Also, my denomination has formed a Lesbian/
Gay support group and state support groups are being formed as
well.
There is no community in isolation. We all come to recognize
who we are in our own time, but we need others to affirm us in that
recognition. There are folks who can make life more than you've
ever imagined when you are involved in the Lesbian community.
We need that touch and support.
Being a Lesbian is now a part of my life. I've learned to claim
my identity by being a part of the Lesbian community. I'm reading
books and listening to music by Lesbians and this nurtures my
inner self. My former lovernoted, "You've got gay on the brain l"
Yes, I do, and it feels great! I celebrate each step in my "coming
out" process now!
Community is a derivative of the word "commune" which
means to administer or to receive. In the church, I celebrate the
faith community, the Lesbian community, and the communion we
share. Communion puts us in touch with the Holy and gives us life.
It gives us the giftoflove, touch and remembrance. People do that
for us in the community. We need one another. We need to be
remembered, not ignored.
Take a chance; take the first step ... take the road less traveled.
Blessings to you on your journey into the community!

STRUGGLE by 5. Spencer

Hall

We came together: staunch land, fluxing tide.
Forceful, neither wished to yield her strength.
But as sand shifts and water laps back wide
so passion spent we spread in tangled warmth.
Sweat mists along your neck, our hurricane
sprayed salty drops, pearls for your throat to wear.
Some glide on surging breasts soft from the strain
of breathing after giving up your fear.
Yet your dam kept me from washing away
borders you maintained in solemn fight.
Although you try you never will delay
my own forces storming beyond your might.
We touch, now gentle, in a forced retreat.
Fermenting foam calms specters of defeat.

Page 14

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Revolutionary Babes
continued from page 12
we must learn to take the best from our combined pasts and to mold
them into a better future. It has become imperative for us, as
women creating, shaping and defining our culture, community
and future not to make those mistakes. We must not let our
women-centered, goddess-centered ideals become polluted and
hypocritical. If we worship the mother aspect of our Goddesses,
then we must give equal respect to the physical manifestation of
that Goddess on our plane of existence. If we extend respect to the
maiden, then we must nurture her participation in our community
by guiding her towards our ideals. If we do not, we are no better
than the Christian church, who preaches "love thy neighbor," yet
takes no steps towards enforcing those ideals in the personal
actions of its members. We must begin to hold the actions of our
community accountable to the ideals we espouse.
The job of being a mother in today's society is a huge task. As
a mother, my job is to support, teach, protect and encourage my
child. My task is to shape her into an adult who is whole and
complete in spite of society's attempt to do the opposite. In our
parenting, we create future generations of warriors to fill our place.
We teach strength, autonomy and individuality.We do not unconsciously breed ignorance or new generations of victims; we shape
intelligence. My heritage demands respect be given to my ancestors. This is a seemingly simple request. My ancestors made me
the possibility. I must pay homage to their willingness to bring me
forth in spite of the obstacles. I must understand their lives in order
to shape my own. I must bring to a woman's community (where
the dominant culture of that community is white-middle-class
women) my entire self. If this women's community strives to
validate the complexity, wholeness and autonomy of each of its
members, then it must give space to all to be whole in that
community. My children my ancestors and our ways are contained in myself: I cannot leave any behind.

• • •

·• Ill

•

~~z

COFFEE

ZON
137 EAST O H IO ST R EET
IN D IA N APOLIS. IN 46204
317 • 684 • 0432

Monday through Friday
6:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

~

I~
Booki and se,vices
g,aundec/ mhoolmg

Children learn what they live. We, as Lesbian parents, must
teach our children about the importance, creativity and beauty of
living in a women-centered reality. We, as Lesbian mothers, rely
on our sisters to fill the gap by providing acceptable role models
for our children. As the women in our community grow, heal and
embrace the strength and power of our womanhood, we pass down
a powerful legacy. We must find within ourselves the ability to
look into our future squarely and with gentility. This strength and
power must not reflect that which we strive to overcome. We, as
a community, must assist our children in understanding their
value, their intelligence and their importance by including them.
Looking to this season of festivals and conferences about
"all" women, I hope that we will remember to honor both ourselves and our children. Inviting all women to participate must
happen in conjunction with remembering that to invite the mother
and not the child is to issue no invitation at all. In some parts of
Africa, the belief is that a person does not fully pass away until the
last person alive who can speak her name and story has passed. I
charge us to apply that concept to our whole community. Let us
not pass away; let us not extinguish our fire; let us hand down the
torch and teach them how to bear it well. Let us welcome all
revolutionaries and visionaries, even the babes.
Editor's Note: Christina Springer is an African-American
Lesbian mother, writer and filmmaker. Co-founderofBack Porch
Productions: A Women's Media Collective, whose first film Out
ofOur Time is receiving international acclaim, she also serves not
only on the Board of Directors but is Coordinator of the Women
of Color Conference of the National Women's Music Festival.

BEST

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Fiction
Lifestyles
Fried Green Tomatoes
In Her Day
Bar Stories
Journey to Zelindar
Lesbian/Gay
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Places oflnterest to Women 90
Considering Parenthood
Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?
On Being Gay

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6367 Horth Guilford
Indianapolis, IH 46220

Saturday 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.
Monday Fndoy I /om · 1pm / Saturday 9am • 6pm

Spirituality
Women's Rituals
Book of Qualities
Listen to the Heart
Living in the Light
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Getting the Love You Want

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M 001 111 585

Univiliill~lllllilf

Summer 1990

Page 15

THE CREEK
The creek,
The wise old oracle
Watched carefully by sister moon
Bathed white by her oscillating beam
Fed
Subterranean thoughts
Distilled from crystaline veins.

The Creek
Elusive spirit
Transformed

The creek
An eloquent vagabond
A transported spirit
Intricately slides
Mysteriously glides
While imaginery footsteps
Echo and orchestrate
Waterrecitals.

Gently nudges,
Tickles me
Awake from a
Spiritual slumber.

The creek
Buoyantly cascades
Performing ancient rituals
Cautiously beckoning
Whispering secrets
And channeling thoughts
Promising tales of exotic passages.

by Dianne Kyle

Wet'e. Exe. i -l-ed Abou-J. Our Spif-S Ups.J.a.irsl
tv\ o tie

Harriet Clare

5 prt.c.e

~r4..li> a.. \:)oo\\J l).~s-t~•rs

or dewn.-, f\o p ; h.. ~

Mo.re BaoKS

rcz.specto.ble. vpSfqi~s
cha. ir) a."'d ch~ l(. ,-+ 014+

Jus+. ~5 Mur..h ru1'/

828 E. 64th Street
Indianapolis, IN 46220
317-253-9966

We're. re.Q.J ~ °"""" P~l. 0 E Wie K
1N/4h.. "-\..Y'ie.<.. .s~\eS e..f f....."'- "< -+. pSJ
.+e:e. .:;hi,.+s> A.n.~ s,.....,ea...+ sh1r4.s-- ••
'"d ho"'"', hof P'"'I( Pp.-~oE:i ~s

A

INFORMATION FORM

Summer 1990

I'm excited about Lavender Visions and I'd like to help by:
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Page 16

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Dorin

From terrific toddlers to
Lavender lovelies!

8

Joan

How many did you guess
correctly?

Carol

Deb

MG

The Lavender Visions Staff
Counterlockwise from top
left: Dorin, Candy, Carol,
MG.Nancy. Notpictured,
Joan and Deb: they can be
seen in Volume 2, Issue 1
as baby feminists.

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Summer 1990

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$ 2.25

VISIONS
Volume 2, Summer

Summer 1990

We Are Everywhere!
Physician
Social Worker

Air Force
Minnesota

Homemaker

Teacher

Writer
Real Estate Clerk
Colorado

Photographer

Page2

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

LV- GROWING INTO A NEW VISION:

PUBLISHERS RESPOND TO SURVEY

Dear Readers,
Welcome to Volume II of Lavender Visions! We are pleased
to report that this publication is a success-operating in the black
with a solid base of advertising supporters and continued growth
in the number of subscribers!
In planning for our second year, we have considered feedback
you have given us through your letters and the survey. Since it is
our intention to expand the length and content of LV , we have
elected to publish as a quarterly journal each season. You will note
that subscription rates reflect this change and are now $8.00/year.
If you have already renewed at the $12 rate, you will still receive
6 issues. Publishing four issues per year will allow a greater focus
of our energy and resources and give you more of what you've
asked for - greater depth and more topics.
This issue is a compilation of articles and letters you've sent
throughout the year - affirming We Are Everywhere. Themes
for the following issues are as follows: Fall (September, 1990),
"Coming Out" - as Lesbians, feminists, witches, Christians,
environmentalists, etc. Deadline for copy is July 15. the Winter
issue, (December, 1990) will focus on "Family" -as you define,
experience and affirm your own sense of family. Copy deadline

is October 15. The Spring issue (March, 1991) will cover Legal
issues for Lesbians. Copy deadline is January 15, 1991.
Our themes were provided from the survey results and each
issue will include other items of interest as well. We welcome and
need your articles, thoughts, reflections, ideas, feelings, prose,
poetry, stories, letters, pictures, humorous pieces, on anything,
anytime. Please let us hear from you. We also need to know of
happenings in your area for the Bulletin Board and Resources
listings.
Affirming ourselves, our lives and our culture is more than
advertising dollars. It is the energy of commitment, the support of
sharing the vision and contributing to our visibility with your own
voices and visions. We thank all of you who have nurtured
Lavender Visions this year with donations, subscriptions and your
energy. Let us dream together with growing vision and visibility.

RE-MEMBER OUR HERSTORY
DYKE - DIKE- means balance, the path; derived from the
goddess, Dike of Greece, granddaughterof Gaia, whose name literally meant "the way, the path." Her social function, along with
her two sisters, Eunomia ("Order") and Eirene ("Peace"), was
natural balance, the keeping of the balance of forces. The three
sisters, in conjunction with Demeter, were worshipped by women.
Dike was a storm goddess, a warrior, avenger against those
who challenged woman-oriented traditions. She is called "Natural
Justice" and her lover is Aletheia, "Truth". Dike was referred to
as "she from whom none may run away." She is depicted riding
in a cart holding scales of justice and a measuring rod.

(Source: Another Mother Tongue - Gay Words, Gay Worlds, by
Judy Grahn, Beacon Press, Boxton, 1984.)

VISIONS

Statement of Purpose
Lavender Visions is
for me and for you,
for all Lesbians,
for us to connect within
our larger community
so that together we may increase
our respect and support
for each other and ourselves,
affirming, celebrating and
honoring the women we are.
Published quarterly. Mailing address: Lavender Visions, P.O.
Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077. The opinions expressed in
Lavender Visions do not necessarily reflect the views of the
publishers and editors. All material in this publication is intended
for individuals, groups, organizations, and businesses which are
affirming of Lesbians and does not necessarily imply the sexual
orientation of any person except when specifically stated.
Publishers ............ Mary Gaul (M.G.), Nancy VanArsdall Jones
Computer Consultant .......................................... River Graphics
Mail Subscriptions
Subscriptions are available at $8 a year. Advertising rates available on request. Send address corrections to address above.

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page3

SARASWATI
by Kay Gardner

Editors Note: From the inception of Lavender Visions, the
goddess, Saraswati, has been our companion, our guide; her statue
is present during our staffings and reflections. Kay Gardner,
musician, writer and foremother shares her knowings of Saraswati
with us.
In 1974 when I was researching women's scales for my first
album,Mooncircles, I found two Greek modes dating from about
500 BC, both of which were attributed to women's cultures. The
Lesbian mode was invented by Sappho of Lesbos. The Lydian
mode was invented by the Lydians,
whom Monique Wittig describes in
Lesbian Peoples asa tribe of Amawns
which settled on Crete. (The Lydian
mode was banned by Plato in The
Republic for being "too female.")
I spent much of my composing
time writing in these two modes until
one day I thought, "What would happen if I combined these two sclaes for
a brand new mode? (Scales and modes
are the same things, i.e. specific sequences of musical tones.)
For awhile I wrote in what I called
my "mixed mode," and I grew to like it
even though it was strange and exotic
to the ear. In the late '70's, when I read
Peter Hamel's Through Music to the
Self, I found that "my" mixed mode
was indeed an ancient Hindu raga
(ragas, modes and scales are different
terms for musical sequences)! The
raga was called "Saraswati" and was
named after a Hindu goddess of music
and the sciences.
"Eureka," I cried, feeling that this
discovery confirmed my notion that
certain scales were woman-identified.
I also learned that of the 5000 ragas of
South India, half were named after
goddesses! (Wein the West work with
fewer than 75 scales, none of which are gender-identified.)
But I discovered more than just a new scale with which to
compose and improvise: I discovered Saraswati as a muse and a
constant source of inspiration. She has been a friend and spirit
mentor to me since 1981 when I played her raga on my recording
Moods and Rituals . Later I used the scale for the first and last
movements of A Rainbow Path (1984) and for "Traveling" on
Garden of Ecstasy (1989).

****

Two years ago, on a sound healer's tour to Asia, we visited the
island of Bali in Indonesia. Most oflndonesia is Moslem, but Bali
is predominantly Hindu with vestiges of a more ancient animism.
I loved Bali because its people live their spirituality. There were
10,000 temples on this tiny island; the music, dance and theater
were based on morality plays, mostly the Ramayana and other
Indian myths; and there were images of Saraswati and other gods
and goddesses everywhere. I found Saraswati depicted in wooden
sculptures, in paintings and on batik. Her image varied, of course,
depending upon the artist; but she was easily recognizable.
Saraswati has four arms, two of
which hold a stringed instrument, traditionally the vina, a kind of sitar. A
third hand holds a scroll or a book; the
fourth hand holds a lotus bud. She
stands or sits on an open lotus flower,
an Asian water lilly, and is flanked by
swans.
In the Hindu trinity, comprised of
Creator, Protector and Destroyer, Saraswati, with the god Brahma, represents the Creator. (Goddesses Kali and
Dura, with the god Shiva are Destroyers; the goddess Sri and the god Vishnu
are protectors. All over the island were
images of Sri carved in wood and
painted ... she looked like a flying
mermaid Wonder-Woman.)
Why was Saraswati the Creatrix?
What patriarchal society has called the
science of physics, matriarchal cultures have known as the laws of Nature. With every single sound that
occurs, a whole series of overtones, or
harmonics, occur simultaneously
though they diminish in audibility as
they climb higher. If we were able to
readily hear the scale created by overtones, we would hear the Saraswati
raga! This makes the Saraswati raga
the most natural scale in the world. By
natural, I mean that she can be heard in ocean surf, in the wind
blowing through trees or across telephone wires- in all phenomena caused by our Mother Nature.
It is for this reason that Saraswati presides over creation, the
fine arts and all creative endeavors. May she continue to bless us
with her joyful song!

Page4

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

Resources
Indianapolis (317}
AIDS Hotline: 257-HOPE, answered 7-1 lPM, every evening.
AIDS: Living the Journey Together: a family therapy group for
persons with AIDS and a care partner-parent, sibling,
love.friend.
Sponsored by Courageous Living Counseling Services, located in Westview Hospital Professional Bldg.,925-0043.
Catholic Lesbian Support Group: open to all Catholic and nonCatholic Lesbians who want to explore their Christian faith
within the context of their sexuality, 925-6866 (Martha) or
357-7964 (Carol).
Community Referral Service (Gay/Lesbian Switchboard),
P. 0. Box 2152, Indpls. 46206, 253-GAYS, Aids: 257HOPE.
Dignity meets at St. Thomas Aquinas Church, 46th & Illinois,
Sundays at 6 PM; P.O.Box 431, Indpls.46206, 924-6578
(Drew)
Feminist Writers: 5138 E. North St., Indianapolis, 46219; 3577964 (Carol).
Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (Quaker); 635-8646
(Diane or Perri).
Gay AA meets at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Sundays at 7 PM;
632-7864.
Gay and Lesbian Codependents Anonymous meets at Winona
Hospital, 3232 N. Meridian St.; 925-1135 (Don), 636-4986
(Joe), 297-0386 (Pam).
Gay Parents Coalition of Indianapolis meets at Holy Eucharist
Church, 38th & Illinois, 2nd Sunday of each month at 7:30
PM; 253-2280 (John)
Indianapolis Youth Group for Lesbian and Gay youth, ages 23
and under, meets be-weekly. For more information, call 253GA YS and ask for organization's contact person.
Ilndianapolis NOW meets at Planned Parenthood, 3219 N.
Meridian, 2nd Wednesday of each month at 6:30 PM; 9254641.
Indianapolis Pitch-In: Monthly pitchin-in dinners provide social and networking opportunities for all Lesbians. Generally, pitch-in is scheduled for the second Friday of each
month, beginning at 7 PM. Location, and directions, usually
is available at Dreams & Swords at least a week prior to each
Pitch-in. (253-9966)
Indianapolis Retirement Group: c/o Becky Thacker, 5831 So.
Harlan St., Indpls. 46227.
Integrity meets at All Saints Church, 16th and Central, Mondays
at 6:30 PM; 635-3744.
Justice, Inc.: Lesbian rescource for issues re: state laws, community/police relations, civil rights, Lesbian/gay conferences,
other special events.
Lesbian Discussion Group: 2nd & 4th Thursdays of each month,
7:00-8:30, at 6356 N. Guilford; 577-2245 for info.
Lesbian Incest Survivors Therapy Group. Contact Linda
Gensheimer, (219) 426-5778 (Fort Wayne).
Older Women's Network for Women Over 40 meets at 7707
Lancer Lane, 3rd Tuesday of each month;54 7-7702 Carol or

Sharon or Dreams & Swords, 253-9966.
Our Parents Aren't Straight (for children of Lesbians and
Gays,) 3rd Tuesday of each month. No age limits. Parents
can/will meet in different room for discussions, 353-6636
(Debbi or Vicki) 881-0786 (Donna, Ruth, Judy).
Overeaters Anonymous (for women and men) meets at Dreams
and Swords, 828 E. 64th Street, Fridays at 6:30 PM, 2539966.
P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meets at
Butler University in Atherton Center.Room 312, 2nd Sunday
of each month at 2:00 PM; 251-9307 (Donna).
University Gay/Lesbian Alliance meets at 3754 N. Illinois St.
(Lambda Center). Call 274-2585.
Women's Open Network: 274-5041 or 274-2585 (Sue Moenius).
Womenspired: 274-5041 or 274-2585 (Sue Moenius).
Bloomington (812)
Bloomington Switchboard: 336-4299
Gay/Lesbian Alliance: 332-1847
Lesbian / Gay Jews: for info, write Spinoza, P.O.Box 1164,
Bloomington, 47402; call 331-2708 (Deb.)
SPARKS: a social/educational forum for Lesbians. Contact
Marcia, 334-0414 or Carolyn, 339-4283.
Columbus (812}
Pitch-In: for info, call 376-0784
Switchboard Concern: 293-8671 (24 hours).
Evansville (812)
Tri-State Alliance Meeting meets at Unitarian Universalist
Church, 856 So. Kentucky Ave., 4th Sun of each month.
Fort Wayne (219)
Dignity/Fort Wayne, P. 0. Box 12151, 56862.
Drop-In meets at Up the Stairs Community Center, 3426 Broadway, Fridays at 7:30PM
Fort Wayne Women's Bureau: 303 E. Washington Blvd .. 4247977 .Peer Counseling: 9 AM-2PM - 426-0023 .Rape Awareness Program Hotline: 426 RAPE.
Lafayette <317}
Dignity/Lesbian Group: P.O.4665,Lafayette,47903,474-6590,
463-6050.
Liberty
The Pearl: Feminist resource/journal. Contact: Natalie Isaac,
editor, 304 South Fairground, Liberty, IN 47353.
Mishawaka <219}
Open Arms: Monthly newsletter for Michiana Lesbians. Contact: PO Box 845, Mishawaka, IN 46544. Yearly subscription: $10.00; sample copy: $1.00. Make check payable to:
Roberta Miller.
South Bend <219}
Help Line: 232-2522 (9AM-5PM)
Hot Line: 232-3344 (24 Hours)
IUSBU Womyn's Center: 929 Greenlawn - 237-4494.
Monthly Lesbian Potluck and weekly Lesbian support group,
291-3720.

Summer 1990

Page 5

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE SUPPORTERS' PAGE
To advertise here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at Lavender Visions P.O. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

Nancy VanArsdall Jones, M.A.

MARGARET MIHOLICK,

ACSW

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Individual, Couple, Family and Group Therapy

6360 Guilford Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana 46220

6360 N.

(317) 253-5160

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6360 Guilford
Indianapolis, IN 46220

Page6

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

"Invisible or simply ignored?" : A Black Lesbian's point of view
An interview with Candas I. Barnes by Denise Senter

Editor's Note: This article represents a continuation of
conversations held with black women who are Lesbian and/or
woman identified. The journeys shared through these reflections
have been diverse, yet each has shared a common theme. This
present conversation is a gift from Candas I. Barnes, a beautifully
creative and inspiring woman currently studying at the Rochester
Instutute in Rochester, New York. Candas has kept close ties with
Indiana since experiencing the 1989 National Women's Music
Festival in Bloomington. As a result of sharing stories, Candas
shared her thoughts on her experiences in Rochester and her
perspective as a black Lesbian woman.
" ... .invisibility, which goes beyond anything that either black
men or white women experience and tell about in their writing, is
one reason it is so difficult for me to know where to start. ... "
(Barbara Smith, "Towards a Black Feminist Criticism," Conditions 2, 1977 .)
LV: Candas, you have made a significant move since last
year. How has this move made an impact on you?
CB: I moved here to become a student at the Rochester
Institute of Technology, after living for the past 28 years in Washington, D.C. Shortly after arriving, I began to feel something was
wrong. As I walked around campus, through the city, visitied the
Lesbian and Gay bars, this feeling never left me. I attempted to
write about it in my journal and dido 't "know where to start", and
I experienced great frustration trying to give voice to the loss of
balance I felt.
LV: How did you .-ecognize what was happening to you?
CB: It wasn't until I had been in Rochester for several weeks
that I began to recognize the feeling. One evening in September,
I went to a dance concert featuring the Urban Bushwomen, a dance
collective based in New York City. The company performed a
piece which was centered around the theme of homelessness. The
dance portrayed people who are treated as if they do not exist,
people who are walked past every day because they are different,
uncomfortable to acknowledge or look at. All of a sudden it hit me.
I was watching these dancers breathe life into what had been
troubling me, what I'd been feeling since arriving in Rochester. A
feeling I had thought unique to me was being flung around on the
stage for everyone to look at. I am sure this vision did not have
the same effect on any other individual in that room.
L V: That's a very powerful analogy, Candas. Are there other
instances in which you feel or have felt invisible?
CB: Although I am not a person without a home, I am a
someone who has been treated, on a regular basis, as if she does
not exist. I am a black Lesbian. As hard as it was for me to believe,

there are people who move through the world on a daily basis and
never consider, or even notice, the existence of people like myself
who look different-at least not until they do something "radical"
or"blatant". There are those who claim they promote equality and
justice for all, but categorically deny the existence of members of
their subculture who are not white and/or male. There are those
who could, and have, allowed me to enter a room, walk down the
street, or even to greet them, and looked through me as ifl were not
present.
LV: How different was your experience in Rochester from
your home community in Washington?
CB: What has been most difficult for me to deal with about
this situation was the fact that I had spent over IO years developing a network in Washington which insulated me from the racism
and homophobia of the Lesbian and Gay community in that town.
Washington is the home of one of America's larger Lesbian and
Gay communities. It is also a town filled with black people,
racism, sexism and homophobia. In spite of this, I actively sought
and worked to become a member of the "community" in D .C. I
became well integrated into this community, and forgot what it
was like to be without it. I somehow managed not even to consider
what
it
.-------------,
would be
like to be
My life has been greatly enwith O ut
these people
riched through experiencing
who had
made me
other cultures and ways of
feel comfortable and
thinking. Icouldonlypitythose
validated.
And then I
whowereafraidortooignorant
moved to
RocheS ter. 1
to learn about others.
franc tically sought
-,••••••••••■ the loving, supportive Lesbian community I was told I'd find upon arriving here. I went to
meetings, social gatherings, bars, haunted the bookstores and
found no one to connect with. I found myself reaching out to
people and being tolerated at best, but usually ignored. I wondered
what the cause of my invisibility was. I tried not to assume it was
because I was black. I looked for any other reason I could find to
excuse it. "Maybe it's 'cuz I'm new in town and no one recognizes
me" (I know how we can be about accepting strangers). "Maybe
it's cuz I wear glasses". "Maybe it's cuz my hair is braided". I
looked for any excuse I could find. Meanwhile I was pissed off that
I felt a need to search for excuses.
LV: How would you like to respond to those who treat you
as though they can't relate to you?
CB: I get the feeling that people believe I could not possibly
discuss politics, literature, economics or life except as it directly

continued on page 11

Summer 1990

Page7

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE SUPPORTERS' PAGE
To advertise here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at Lavender Visions P .0. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

wY4.r~~

6251 north wlnthrop ave., aulte 4
Indianapolis, IN 46220
317/255-7556

Books • Cassettes • Videos • Cards • Classes
Hours: 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. Monday - Friday
11 a.m. -5 p.m. Saturday

codependency end ACOA
counseling

6358 North Guilford Avenue
Indianapolis, IN 46220
(317) 255-9907

custom jewellers
gold-silversmiths and lapidaries

SP1R1TS RlSlNG

in
antique
alley

Healing Massage
for the Body and Soul

janet cullen and carrie foley 812-988-2729
p .o . box 234 nashville , indiana 47448
closed wed.

Julianne Houk
(317) 685-2834

Ma ..ybeth Colefax

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255-6043

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Page8

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS SURVEY SUMMARY:
THE COMMUNITY PERSPECTIVE
by Dorin Gridley
We asked for your comments in the February/March, 1989
issue. About 15% of our subscribers responded, which is an
excellent return on any survey effort! Our respondents represented the states of Colorado, Connecticut, Minnesota, Ohio and
90% from Indiana. We heard from people in thirteen different
counties in Indiana - 54% residing in Marion County. Our advertisers are being supported by 65-75% of our readers who live
in the proximity oflndianapolis.
If you check out the coverof this issue, you will see a sampling
of the various occupation of LV readers. We, indeed, are
everywhere!
We asked which of our articles and features you read regularly. Apparently most everyone reads every issue cover to cover.
The top three issues of interest were Lesbian rights, Women's
rights and legal issues, followed by spirituality and peace, homophobia, abortion and ecofeminism. We hope you will send items
on these topics for publication in forthcoming issues.
Since the survey left space for narrative remarks, you confirmed what we've always known: Lesbians have a lot to say and
hunger to hear what other Lesbians have to say. Here is a summary

of topics suggested: coming out stories, stories on women,
successful business women, needs of aging Lesbians, adolescent
sexuality, global community, family issues, the arts, socializing,
and more sharings from other communities.
Many respondents took time to offer constructive criticism
which we greatly appreciate. The general consensus among
respondents appears to be the introduction of greater diversity into
LV. There is a genuine desire to read about the lives of women and
Lesbians everywhere, not just Central Indiana. So, please, readers
let us hear from you!
We have published comments and suggestions under the
"Readers' Reflections and Visions" column in this issue. Please let
us hear your responses.
In reviewing the survey results, we are encouraged to find that
LV is meeting many of the needs of the Lesbian community,
wherever individuals reside. We are committed to incorporating
your ideas to the best of our abilities and resources in furture
issues.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond. Communicating
is part of community building.

INDIANAPOLIS WOMEN'S RETIREMENT GROUP: AN UPDATE
In January, 1990, a notice was posted at Dreams & Swords
Bookstore in Indianapolis and in LV, inviting participation in a
retirement group. The stated purpose of the group is to establish
a retirement community, probably in the Indianapolis area, so that
we will have a safe, comfortable, affordable old age without
isolation from others of our own kind, but with reasonable privacy
within the group.
The stated approach is to reach some concrete, specific
conclusions by the end of 1995 and to begin to act on those conclusions. A group of 6-12 people will incorporate and make
decisions within the next five years about who will participate, the
physical environment, geographical location, timetable, individual duties and resources.
The introductory meeting took place on March 1, 1990 and
was attended by eight persons. The primary topic of discussion
was each person's views on: a) her "worst case" retirement
situation, b) her"bestcase" or ideal retirement situation, and c) the
most realistic retirement.· (The consensus was that we all feared
becoming "bag ladies," we'd all like to live on the beach, but that
we '11 most likely end up in apartments in Indianapolis and go to the
seashore as often as possible!)
Clearly, the group is still in a state of change, but visions and
plans continue to emerge. A proposed workshop at the Older
Women's Series of NWMF will offer further opportunities for

brainstorming, networking and support. If you are interested in
participating in the Indianapolis Women's Retirement Group, or
are forming a similar group and wish to network with us, contact
us: Indianapolis Retirement Group
c/o Becky Thacker
5831 S. Harlan Street
Indianapolis, IN 46227

Subscription Renewal !
Look at the address label on your Lavender Visions
mailing envelope! The date on the far right of the first
line indicates the date of the last issue under your current
subscription. If your envelope has been stamped with a
renewal notice, please send us your renewal along with
the subcription form from page 16 of this issue. Please
renew by August 1, 1990 so that you don't miss a single
issue. Your continuing support is greatly appreciated!

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page9

Bulletin Board
National Women's Music Festival (NWMF), Thursday- Sunday ,May 31-June3, Bloomington, IN. Herearesomeofthe
featured performers, speakers, writers: Minnie Brua Pratt,
Karla Jay, Kay Leigh Hagan, Shekinah Mountainwater,
Arisika, Nan Brooks & Jane Winslow, Buffy Sainte-Marie,
Adrianne Torf, Ferron, Holly Near, Heather Bishop, and
Deidre McCalla. Don't miss it- save some vacation days
for these dates! For more information, contact the Indiana
University Conference Registrar at (812) 331-7799.
"Into the Gay '90s with Pride",Pride Celebration on Monument
Circle in Indianapolis, Saturday, June 16, 5-9 PM. Part of
Indiana's 1990 Gay/Lesbian Pride Week, sponsored by Justice, Inc. For more information, call Ruth Peters (317) 2531460 (home) or (317) 635-4059 (work) or call Justice (317)
634-9212.
TLC Draggins softball game with the Ohio Geriatrics team
will take place on Sunday, June 10, 1990 at 1:00. The
game will be played behind Keystone Middle School, on
S. Keystone Ave. In case of rain, we will meet at the
school and then proceed to Noble Roman's on Southport
Rd. off S. Madison Ave.
Womyn's Tennis League. A spring-summer womyn's tennis
league is forming. Will include both beginners and more
experienced players. Some instruction for beginners could be
available. Please contact Dian Miller (317) 924-7906 (work)
or (317) 243-8939 (home) or Laurie Anderson (317) 9247906.
Branching OUT Productions
Women's Community Series:
September 7, 1990 - Jennifer Justice & Susan Wilson
with Dance afterwards!
"Lavender Hearts Returns!" Lesbian Erotica Love Sto
ries by Jennifer Justice with Special Slide Show by Susan
Wilson (all new show!)

Branching OUT Productions con't
8:00 PM - 10:30 PM - Lavender Hearts
10:30 PM- 1:00 AM- Dance!
St. Peter Claver Center, Indy
October 13, 1990 - Lucie Blue Tremblay & Heather
Bishop!
8:00 PM, The Walker Theatre, Indy
November 9, 1990 - Kate Clinton Birthday Show!
8:00 PM, The Walker Theatre, Indy

Program/Seminar Series
Eliana Gil - October 5th, 9:00 - 4:30 PM
Omni Hotel North
Author of Outgrowing the Pain and Treatment of
Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse
Mike Lew - November 2, 9:00 - 4:30 PM
Hilton at the Airport
Author of Victims No Longer & Men Recovering From
Incent And Other Sexual Child Abuse.
Harriett Goldhor Learner - November 28,
9:00 - 4:30 PM
Holiday Inn Airport
Author of Dance of Anger, Dance of Intimacy and
Women In Therapy
For further information on any of the above pro
grams, be sure to phone 317/637-2906 and leave
your name & address. Please indicate WHICH Series
you are inquiring about. Information will be mailed
to you late summer, early fall.

Please send information about upcoming events for
publication in Bulletin Board to:
Lavender Visions, PO Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077.

GAY PRIDE CELEBRATION ON THE CIRCLE
The last week of June is Gay Pride Week with activities planned daily throughout the state. Justice, Inc. is
sponsoring the first Gay/Lesbian Pride Celebration on Monument Circle on Saturday, June 30. The Celebration
will take shape as a Street Fair from noon until 9 PM, with a Pride Rally at 2 PM and various speakers and
entertainers until 7 PM. Our own Deb Mullins will be among the many entertainers, along with Lynn Lavner,
a comedienne from New York City as MC of the festivities. Various statewide Gay/Lesbian support groups,
organizations and businesses will have fund-raising booths offering varied items and refreshments as well as
giving information about their respective endeavors. This is a great opportunity to visibly support ourselves and
each other. Encourage your straight friends to support this event as well and make a blow against homophobia.

Page 10

LAVENDER VISIONS

THE

Summer 1990

LAVENDER PAGE

To be listed here, please use the Order Form on the back page or contact us at: Lavender Visions, P.O. Box 321, Zionsville, IN 46077

ADVERTISING

FLORISTS

Accent Advertising Co., Inc., 5420 East St. Clair St.,
Indianapolis, IN 46219 ....................................... (317) 357-6530

Town and Country Florist of Carmel, 2182 E.116th St.
Keystone Square Mall, Carmel, IN ................... (317) 846-4221

BOOKSTORES/MEDIA

HELP WANTED

Aquarius Books for a Feminist Future, 116 No. Grant St.,
Bloomington, IN 4 7402 ........................................... (812)336-0988
Awakening, 6358 No. Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN 46220
.............................................................................. (317) 255-9907
Dreams and Swords, Inc., 828 E. 64th St., Indianapolis, IN
46220 .................................................................. (317) 253-9966
Iris, Inc., 6367 Guilford, Indianapolis, IN 46220 ................ .
........................................................... (317) 251-4747 [251-IRIS]

Wanted:Womyn to do standard housecleaning.
Permanent position, 4 hrs/wk, $7/hr; 10 miles south of Bluffton, IN; references required. Ask for Barb ......... (219) 346-2575
JEWELLERS
The Brass Ring, Custom jewellers, gold-silversmiths and
lapidaries, Antique Alley, Nashville, IN ..... ...... (812) 988-2729
MASSAGE/RELAXATION THERAPY

CHIROPRACTORS
Pyramid Chiropractic, Peg VanDenburgh, DC, 8648
Purdue Rd., Indianapolis, IN 46268 .................... (317)876-0887

Marybeth Colefax .............................................. (317) 255-6043
Julianne Houk ................................................... (317) 685-2834
Maryann Steinhart, 6407 No. Michigan Road, Indianapolis,
IN 46268 ............................................................ (317) 257-2350

CONSTRUCTION/HOME IMPROVEMENT
PROFESSIONAL SERVICES
Ceramic Tile/Drywall, Installation and Repair. Free
Estimates ............................................................. (317) 783-4928
Anne Shellaba:-ger, Mooresville, IN ................. (317) 996-2115
Shipp Construction Inc ................ (317) 254-9126 or 252-2404
Sunshine Services ............................................... (317) 353-6636
COUNSELING/PERSONAL GROWTH
Mariel Burch. MSW, 3508-A Stellhorn Rd., Ft. Wayne,
IN 46815 .............................................................. (219)486-2258
Micky Craney, 6251 No. Winthrop Ave., Suite 4,
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ........................................ (317) 255-7556
Mary Gaul, EdD, 6360 Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN
46220 ................................................................... (317)253-5160
Martine Faist, MA, AT ,.................................... (317) 253-8499
Nancy VanArsdall Jones, MA, 6360 Guilford Ave.,
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ....................................... (317) 253-5160
Pat Jordan, MS .................................................. (317) 257-2350
Gloria M. Linville, ACSW, Kokomo, IN ......... (317) 459-0538
Margaret Miholick, ACSW, 6360 Guilford Ave., Indianapolis, IN 46220 ..................................................... (317) 253-5160
Passages: Psychological Services-Joan Farrell, PhD.
HSPP, Ida Shaw, Finlay Grier, PhD, HSPP,6367 Guilford Ave.
Indianapolis, IN 46220 ....................................... (317) 251-1110
June Thompson,ACSW, CADA ...................... (317) 251-7051

Mary A. Byrne, Realtor, 1202 No. Pennsylvania , Indianapolis,
IN 46202 ........................................ (317) 638-1020 or 923-5574
Haynes Bookkeeping, Tax service specializing in small
business and S-corporations ............................... (317) 293-3190
Candace L. Shearls, Computer Consultant ...... (317) 255-8328
Shopping Sprees by Diane, 6701 No. College Ave., Suite
305, Indianapolis, IN 46220 .............................. (317) 255-2459
RESTAURANTS
Coffee Zon, Ruth Peters, 137 E. Ohio St., Indianapolis, IN
46204 .................................................................. (317) 684-0432
WANTED-INFORMATION
Interested in quilting? Call Micky .................. (317) 356-4914
Wanted: Copy of Out From Under: Sober Dykes, Our Friends
Jean Swallow, Ed. Call Terie ............................ (616) 244-8657

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

"Invisible or simply ignored?"
continued from page 6
relates to black people. Unlike members of the dominant culture,
I was required to learn about people and events other than those
directly related to me. For this I am thankful, because I have a
multi-layered world view. I was saddened, however, when I
realized there were people who did not even notice that I and others
like me were missing from their experience or knowledge of the
world. I wondered what it must be like to have knowledge only
of oneself. I imagined it to be incredibly boring. My life has been
greatly enriched through experiencing other cultures and ways of
thinking. I could only pity those who were afraid or too ignorant
to learn about others.
Pat Parker, one of the first black Lesbians to speak out against
racism, sexism, and homophobia, died during the summerof 1989
and has yet to be anthologized or given recognition by any but her
black sisters. This is ironic in light of Parker's words in "Where
Will You Be?" (Conditions 5, 1977):
" .... they will come/because we are/defined as opposite/perverse/and we are perverse/....and they will come./fhey will
come for/the perverts/... & it won't matter/if you 're/homosexual,
not a faggot/lesbian, not a dyke/gay, not a queer/... They will come
for/the perverts/and where will/you be/ When they come?"
L V: Do you believe we have more in common with each other
than differences?
CB: We can all attest to the fact that homophobia does not
discriminate. It is hatred of Lesbians and Gay men simply because
they exist. Perpetrators of this hatred probably will not stop to
check if the Lesbian or Gay man they hate is black or white. They
will hate each of us equally. I believe we should love each of us
just as equally. Not when it is convenient. Not when it is
politically correct to seek the "black Lesbian" perspective. Not
because of anything other than decency. There is more strength in
acceptance than there ever will be in exclusion.
L V: How do you plan to continue your commitment against
racism and homophobia?
CB: I, as one black Lesbian, will continue to reach out. I
refuse to isolate myself. Or to accept the isolation which is
imposed upon me. I speak only for myself. It should not be seen
as representative of black Lesbians. In addition, it is important for
me to note that where I have said black, the words Chicana,
Puertoriqquena, Asian (or any other race) might just as easily have
been substituted when the discussion is about racism. However,
the only perspective I feel qualified to talk about is my own. I have
therefore chosen to speak from my experience with racism as a

black Lesbfan in this community.

er

Page 11

READERS' REFLECTIONS AND VISIONS
- It would be interesting to add a section of "Dear So-So"
to answer questions regarding interpersonal relationships, health
concerns, advice, quips and quotes. I would be interested in
.
.
helping if this develops.
- Would like to see more in-depth book and music reviews,
letters from readers, coverage of Womyn's festivals, poetry.
- How about more for those of us here in northern Indiana?
- yeah - how do I get up the gumption to attend events alone,
since I don 'tknow anybody yet? I want to hear/read about Lesbian
mothers (my kids are pre-schoolers.) I'm isolated and I'm new.
- Where approprate, interject humor... Thanks for asking.
Thanks for LV.
-Keep up the good work! We Are Everywhere - even in
southern Indiana. We seem to be ignored and forgotten at times.
Withholding my name for the present time, I will try to help push
Lavender Visions in this community. We need you in so many
ways. Thanks!
- Some articles seem too centered on one person's experience and reading them is like reading a meditation or journal entry,
and on balance, they don't speak concretely enough for me/us.
More poetry and literary pieces would add most-needed balance.
Perhaps, then I'd find the "personal" articles not so overwhelming.
- I would like to see Lavender Visions be able to expand and
include "stuff' from all over the state. Yes, I will volunteer to do
some of that work when something is planned. I would like more
hard news that affects Lesbians.
-Keep up the good work! We really enjoy your articles and
listing of festivals and concerts. This is a slow time for the Fort
Wayne crowd, but we enjoy our interactions with the Indianapolis
community.
- I like the profiles of different Lesbians in the area the best.
- I really enjoy readingLV. I wish there were more articles
to read, as I catch myself reading parts of it over and over. I don't
want it to end. Thank you and keep up the good work.
- I like your listing of services and meeting places and dates.
- Thanks for being a regular part of our lives! Keep up the
good work!
-As a new subscriber toLVI' d like to say that I enjoy reading
the articles and knowing that some of the local businesses are
"family." LV is the best way I know to keep close and in touch with
other women who are just like me.
- I'm proud to support the efforts of everyone atLV and am
interested in contributions to this wonderful publication. Keep up
the good work, ladies!
- Lavender Visions has been a welcome connection to the
women's community. We are new (within a year) to the area and
know no one in the women's community. Our schedules and/or
public positions in the area have prevented us from attending many
of the events - and making any social connections. We would
like to get better acquainted, but have not succeeded yet.
- Your newsletter is great! Very professional looking well organized. Keep up the good work!
- I think you 're doing a beautiful job.

Page 12

LAVENDER VISIONS

Summer 1990

Revolutionary Babes: Parenting as a Political Action
by Christina Springer
As a mother, I find raised eyebrows, curious stares and
concerned faces, as my child and I enter into Lesbian gatherings.
These same Lesbian gatherings contend that they are functions
welcoming all women. They suggest that they are events in which
the participants are mostly woman-centered, often, Goddess-centered.
How easily we fall prey to the illusion of self-created power
in feminism: simple-mindedly drifting- pawn to pawn-on the
chessboard of the Patriarchy. Viewing ourselves as independent
thinkers, capable of redefining and surpassing expectations from
the dominant culture. Ahh, yes, we are women who dance in the
mirror, seeing self-created reflections with no practicality towards
realism. The staunch feminists, the radical intellectuals, the
ignorant theorists of improbable calculations have accepted the

by Denise Rambo

destiny of compromised originality. The white separatist feminists often are so like the art of their culture - decorative,
impractical- but ever so astounding, thought provoking, and precious.
It is always with great reservation that I inflict my piece of the
future into this present time. I enter, a Pan-Africanist Lesbian
feminist mother: a practical basket woven of a myriad of colors,
tight enough to carry water over three miles without leaks; a water
basket, as useful and practical, as it is pretty, bearing life essence,
spiritandfull-bodiedasthemoon. Wegivelifetothefuture,again
and again. We have survived, thrived, remained alive- in spite
and hope- throughout millenia. We pass this legacy with the
knowledge that the struggle woven into our lives takes on improved patterns with each successive generation. The legacy of
our continued existence becomes more and more exquisite as our
gift is life.

Conscious parenting (which by nature of our culture's unwillingness to affirm alternatives) is the type of parenting many
Lesbians are beleaguered with, by virtue of having to be thoughtful and considerate of every action's ramifications. Through our
parenting, we become political, as we seek to affirm, reflect and
portray our lives as normal and natural - to both society and our
children. Yet, more than that, the dedication to rasing healthy,
whole, self-loving children is an action directly in conflict with the
aims of the Patriarchy. We parent politically by nature ofnurturing positive lives, reaping bountiful harvests intrinsically more
sustaining and long lasting, than success in career. We empower
our own lives. We, parents of revolutionary babes, (who are
destined to survive a culture not conducive to health and peace in
childhood) in our motherhood, build your better future.
There are some, so desolate in spirit, who believe us to be
agents coerced into unethical actions by the Patriarchy. There are
those who believe motherhood in Lesbianism to be counterrevolutionary, on-feminist, destroyers of action in a war played on
the defensive. I argue we are warriors who are tromping into the
battleground on the offensive. We give thought to this Patriarchy,
but do not expend energy attempting to outwit it. We challenge its
continued existence through our lives- lives not geared towards
rectifying past wrongs, strategical maneuvers, or devoted to
analysis of crimes against womanhood. We combine all of those
efforts through our parenting. We transcend the defensive, understand the work to be done, live in a positive woman-centered
reality and teach those values ''lour children. We rear our children
from this place of power. We do not dwell in the negative, but
make a tangible contribution to the creating of the positive. A need
no longer remains for a defensive stance when one's offensive is
precisely reflective of all the meanings of the word itself.
It is easy to thrash those whose importance in life is most
important-the mothers. We, womyn creating womyn spaces,
come together in an effort to synthesize wholeness into self. We
come together to heal ourselves, gather courage to continue
movement forward. Many of us claim to worship the Goddess and
her infinite manifestations throughout our lives. Yet, we forget to
rememberthe womb-the root-that brought us to our full flower
in womanhood. We disregard herstory, leaving us open to
incorrect analysis of the present and future. We forget that female
hatred of the mother, female hatred of other women, is a twentieth
century concept created by men. We forget that a century ago,
white women's society (that is, middle-class and wealthy women
of 17th-18th century US) was a closed and autonomous society
separate from men, where the idea of giving voice to maliciousness to other women and their ways was a foreign concept. We
accept media interpretations and the educational system's elimination of a documented women-centered time. In our ignorance
of self, we demonstrate the same behavior of our oppressors by
excluding mothers from our community. As a unified community,
continued on page 14

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Page 13

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
As a minister, I frequent the halls of the local hospital visiting
my congregation members who are undergoing tests or preparing
for surgery. I notice people tend to reach out more during these
times of crises. Touch is important. The first thing that usually
happens on a hospital visit is I grasp the hands of the patient and
family member(s). I represent the faith community called the
Church when I go to the hospital rooms. Visits vary and last no
more than 15 minutes, but the touch of love from someone who
cares makes a difference in bringing one wholeness and wellness
again.
My journey from the pastoral care department to the patient
rooms takes me through the back corridors.. a route that runs
directly past the mental health/addictions unit. On the door is a
picture poster: two roads, one to the left, another to the right-a
beautiful scene of creation. It reads:
Two roads
diverged in a wood
I chose the one less traveled by,
and that has made
all the difference.
The road less traveled is a road I wanted to travel, but dared
not because of what I might find. Fear filled my being: fear
stemming from our society's and the church's rejection of homosexuality. I knew what I felt in my heart, and it definitely wasn't
heterosexual! I believed that God called me to be a minister and
being a Lesbian was part of that call, part of God's grace and
acceptance of who I am. I'd never associated with the Lesbian
community because of the fear that my ordination procedures may
have been questioned. I'm still in the closet, BUT my "coming
out" is being a wonderful process. Let me share it with you.
Some months ago, I decided it was time to journey that road
less traveled. I was ordained, had a full-time pastorate, and felt the
time to go within was NOW. My lover of six years and I were
splitting up. She had moved East and I was feeling lonely. One
other ministry colleague, who is also a Lesbian, was helpful. She
suggested some counseling might help me, preferably from a
counselor who was Lesbian. I gave it some thought. Here I was
surrounded by my congregation, yet they could not understand
what was happening; my job would be at stake if they knew. I was
in a world of people and at the same time in a world of isolation.
Have you ever felt that way?
Well, I decided to start dealing with my feelings as a Lesbian,
a southern Lesbian, and a Lesbian minister. My first counseling
session was like a big explosion. I had locked these feelings inside
for so long. Then the dam collapsed, the flood gates opened, and
the tears came. It's hard to feel good about yourself when the
world tells you being Lesbian is wrong, immoral, and biblically
unacceptable. So, for the next couple of months, I worked on
getting out the shame and homophobia that has paralyzed my
emotions for so long. (I'm still working on this.)
My counselor suggested I go to the Lesbian Discussion
Group. My courage level was really low, needless to say! She
never forced me to go, but she encouraged me to take this step in
the "coming out" process at a time when I felt I was ready. Seven

months later, I made it to my first meeting. Don't quote me, but
I was scared shitlessl Fifteen minutes into that first meeting, my
nerves began to settle. I was home .. .I finally had come home!
I've made some wonderful friends in the Lesbian community.
The Discussion Group is a priority in my calendar now; I've been
to a pitch-in dinner, and now I'm looking forward to my first
dance! There has also been a new dimension added to my ministry
in that other Lesbians are attending my church, and I've helped
them work through some spiritual/life matters. This gives me
hope for the future in being a pastor of an open and affirming
church some day. Also, my denomination has formed a Lesbian/
Gay support group and state support groups are being formed as
well.
There is no community in isolation. We all come to recognize
who we are in our own time, but we need others to affirm us in that
recognition. There are folks who can make life more than you've
ever imagined when you are involved in the Lesbian community.
We need that touch and support.
Being a Lesbian is now a part of my life. I've learned to claim
my identity by being a part of the Lesbian community. I'm reading
books and listening to music by Lesbians and this nurtures my
inner self. My former lovernoted, "You've got gay on the brain l"
Yes, I do, and it feels great! I celebrate each step in my "coming
out" process now!
Community is a derivative of the word "commune" which
means to administer or to receive. In the church, I celebrate the
faith community, the Lesbian community, and the communion we
share. Communion puts us in touch with the Holy and gives us life.
It gives us the giftoflove, touch and remembrance. People do that
for us in the community. We need one another. We need to be
remembered, not ignored.
Take a chance; take the first step ... take the road less traveled.
Blessings to you on your journey into the community!

STRUGGLE by 5. Spencer

Hall

We came together: staunch land, fluxing tide.
Forceful, neither wished to yield her strength.
But as sand shifts and water laps back wide
so passion spent we spread in tangled warmth.
Sweat mists along your neck, our hurricane
sprayed salty drops, pearls for your throat to wear.
Some glide on surging breasts soft from the strain
of breathing after giving up your fear.
Yet your dam kept me from washing away
borders you maintained in solemn fight.
Although you try you never will delay
my own forces storming beyond your might.
We touch, now gentle, in a forced retreat.
Fermenting foam calms specters of defeat.

Page 14

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

Revolutionary Babes
continued from page 12
we must learn to take the best from our combined pasts and to mold
them into a better future. It has become imperative for us, as
women creating, shaping and defining our culture, community
and future not to make those mistakes. We must not let our
women-centered, goddess-centered ideals become polluted and
hypocritical. If we worship the mother aspect of our Goddesses,
then we must give equal respect to the physical manifestation of
that Goddess on our plane of existence. If we extend respect to the
maiden, then we must nurture her participation in our community
by guiding her towards our ideals. If we do not, we are no better
than the Christian church, who preaches "love thy neighbor," yet
takes no steps towards enforcing those ideals in the personal
actions of its members. We must begin to hold the actions of our
community accountable to the ideals we espouse.
The job of being a mother in today's society is a huge task. As
a mother, my job is to support, teach, protect and encourage my
child. My task is to shape her into an adult who is whole and
complete in spite of society's attempt to do the opposite. In our
parenting, we create future generations of warriors to fill our place.
We teach strength, autonomy and individuality.We do not unconsciously breed ignorance or new generations of victims; we shape
intelligence. My heritage demands respect be given to my ancestors. This is a seemingly simple request. My ancestors made me
the possibility. I must pay homage to their willingness to bring me
forth in spite of the obstacles. I must understand their lives in order
to shape my own. I must bring to a woman's community (where
the dominant culture of that community is white-middle-class
women) my entire self. If this women's community strives to
validate the complexity, wholeness and autonomy of each of its
members, then it must give space to all to be whole in that
community. My children my ancestors and our ways are contained in myself: I cannot leave any behind.

• • •

·• Ill

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Children learn what they live. We, as Lesbian parents, must
teach our children about the importance, creativity and beauty of
living in a women-centered reality. We, as Lesbian mothers, rely
on our sisters to fill the gap by providing acceptable role models
for our children. As the women in our community grow, heal and
embrace the strength and power of our womanhood, we pass down
a powerful legacy. We must find within ourselves the ability to
look into our future squarely and with gentility. This strength and
power must not reflect that which we strive to overcome. We, as
a community, must assist our children in understanding their
value, their intelligence and their importance by including them.
Looking to this season of festivals and conferences about
"all" women, I hope that we will remember to honor both ourselves and our children. Inviting all women to participate must
happen in conjunction with remembering that to invite the mother
and not the child is to issue no invitation at all. In some parts of
Africa, the belief is that a person does not fully pass away until the
last person alive who can speak her name and story has passed. I
charge us to apply that concept to our whole community. Let us
not pass away; let us not extinguish our fire; let us hand down the
torch and teach them how to bear it well. Let us welcome all
revolutionaries and visionaries, even the babes.
Editor's Note: Christina Springer is an African-American
Lesbian mother, writer and filmmaker. Co-founderofBack Porch
Productions: A Women's Media Collective, whose first film Out
ofOur Time is receiving international acclaim, she also serves not
only on the Board of Directors but is Coordinator of the Women
of Color Conference of the National Women's Music Festival.

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Summer 1990

Page 15

THE CREEK
The creek,
The wise old oracle
Watched carefully by sister moon
Bathed white by her oscillating beam
Fed
Subterranean thoughts
Distilled from crystaline veins.

The Creek
Elusive spirit
Transformed

The creek
An eloquent vagabond
A transported spirit
Intricately slides
Mysteriously glides
While imaginery footsteps
Echo and orchestrate
Waterrecitals.

Gently nudges,
Tickles me
Awake from a
Spiritual slumber.

The creek
Buoyantly cascades
Performing ancient rituals
Cautiously beckoning
Whispering secrets
And channeling thoughts
Promising tales of exotic passages.

by Dianne Kyle

Wet'e. Exe. i -l-ed Abou-J. Our Spif-S Ups.J.a.irsl
tv\ o tie

Harriet Clare

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Page 16

Summer 1990

LAVENDER VISIONS

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The Lavender Visions Staff
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