extracted text

do~HERLAND ~
OCTOBER, 1989

ICE

SYMPATHIES ...
Our sympathy and concern go out to
Joni T. and other friends of Ruby Todd,
who was murdered on "The Strip" on
Saturday night, September 30. At this late
date HSR was unable to obtain details,
except that the decision is being made as
to whether the 16-year-old boy who shot
and killed Ruby will be tried as an adult.
The seriousness of the repercussions of
this tragedy is only beginning to be felt by
stunned members of the community.
Funeral services were held Wednesday,
October 4th at 10:00 a.m.
·v •

TAPE RELEASE PARTY
Friendships United invites everyone to attend a party celebrating the long-awaited
release of the cassette tape, "The Winds."
The party will be held at Gushers on Oct. 22 beginning at 8:30 p.m. Artists who
contributed songs and their musical gifts to the making of the tape will be on hand to
autograph copies of the tape. The tape is priced on a sliding scale of $8 - $10, with all
proceeds going to the AIDS hospice, The Winds.
Tapes are available at the following locations: Berland, Starwind, Gushers, Jungle
Red's (located directly across from Gushers), and AIDS Support Program.
Tapes are also available through mail order by filling out the order form below. Cost
of the tape through mail order is a sliding scale of $8.50 - $10.50, which includes
postage. Autographed tapes are available for $15.50, postage included.
Checks or money orders should be made payable to Friendships United/ ASP. For
more information, contact Palmira at ( 405) 755-8675.

Please send this form and a check or money order to: Friendships United,
c/o Peggy Johnson, P.O. Box 75842, Oklahoma City, OK 73147.
MAKE CHECK OR MONEY ORDER PAYABLE TO:
FRIENDSHIPS UNITED/ ASP
NAME _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

~

STREET OR BOX NUMBER _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
CITY-- - - - - - - - - - -

STAT~_ _ _ _

ZIP_ __ __

A NEW SYMBOL OF
PRIDE FOR 1990
Lesbian entertainer Robin Tyler has
proposed the phoenix as a national symbol of lesbian and gay pride. The mythical
phoenix, with its feathers of scarlet, blue,
purple and gold, is fabled to live for five
hundred years in the wilderness, then to
burn itself on a funeral pyre and to rise
from its ashes, renewed, to live again.
The phoenix has become an emblem of
immortality and reborn hope, and as we
celebrate the twentieth anniversary of the
Stonewall Rebellion, it indeed seems like
a suitable symbol for our movement. •

NUMBER OF TAPES ORDERED _ _ _ _ AMOUNT ENCLOSED$ _ _ __

VOLUME 6 NUMBER 10

•

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

•

(405) 521-9696

HSR-CALENDAR OF
EVENTS-OCTOBER
Oct. 9 • Oklahoma Gay /Lesbian Political
Caucus meeting, 7 p.m., Resource
Center.
Oct. 11 • National Coming Out Day,
group discussion, 7 - 9 p.m., Recource
Center.
Oct. 12 • 13 • Domestic Violence Awareness Conference, Baptist Hospital conference room.
Oct. 12 ·Peggy Johnson and Mary Reynolds performing at the Domestic Violence Awareness Conference, Baptist
Hospital conference room, 7 p.m.
Oct. 13 • Friday Night Video, "The
Women of Brewster Place, Part II,''
7:30p.m.
Oct. 15 • Board meeting, 2 p.m., Resource Center
Oct. 15 • Last day for submissions for
the newsletter.
Oct. 15 • Masquerade Ball, the Porthole, 8:00 p.m. $3 admission, fundraiser for the concert fund.
Oct. 21 ·Peggy Johnson performing at
the Cantina del Paseo, 3007 Paseo,
9:00p.m.
Oct. 22 • Friendships United tape
release party, Gushers, 8:30 p.m.
7:30p.m.

Oct. 29 - Volunteer Orientation, 2 p.m.,
Resource Center

Nov. 4 • 5 • HSR Garage Sale, 8-6 Sat.,
8-4 Sun. 2024 NW 20th.

PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 NW 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
EXECUTIVE EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger
NATIONAL NEWS EDITOR
Karen Lewis
CITY NEWS EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger
TYPESETIING: Rhonda S.
CIRCULATION: 700
GENERAL INFO (405) 521-9696
ADVERTISING: 521-9696
DEADLINE on all advertising and submissions is
the 15th of each month.
SUBSCRIPTIONS to the HERLAND VOICE are
free upon request.

2

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

Around the Country
GROUPS PRESENT
BRIEFING ON
STUDENTS AND
SEXUAL IDENTITY
In September, a coalition of leading gay
and lesbian civil rights groups and education organizations presented a special
Senate and House staff briefing on the
importance of providing students with
positive information and counseling concerning their sexual identity.
The briefing comes in response to
attacks in Congress against programs that
educate and counsel youth on sexual
identity, and to a recent Health & Human
Services Report that revealed gay and
lesbian teenagers are significantly more
likely to attempt suicide than other youth.
"We want to educate and inform Congressional staff on adolescent sexual
identity issues and help dispel common
misperceptions about gay and lesbian
students," said Tim Mcfeeley, executive
director of the Human Rights Campaign
Fund (HRCF). HRCF, the largest national
gay and lesbian political organization, was
a sponsor of the briefing- one of the first
of its kind in Congressional history.
"Perceptions that young gays are 'just
going through a phase' about their sexuality, are maladjusted and mentally ill or
are 'recruited' into homosexuality are
extremely dangerous to the health of
American youth,'' said Mcfeeley. "These
perceptions-combined with the lack of
positive education programs on sexualityfuel homophobia and gay and lesbian
teenage alienation."
Gay and youth advocates realized the
need for a greater awareness of gay and
lesbian youth issues when, during last
year's debate on the Labor, Health &
Human Services Appropriations bill, Sen.
Gordon Humphrey (R-NH) offered an
extremely anti-gay amendment aimed at
students.
The amendment, killed in conference
committee, attempted to ban funding for
school districts when materials, curriculums, or programs "promote or encourage
homosexuality" or use words stating that
homosexuality is "normal," "natural," or
"healthy."
Support of positive programs aimed at
student sexual identity is widespread.
During its 1988 national convention, the

National Educator's Association passed a
resolution stating, "Every school district
should provide counseling for students
who are struggling with their sexual/
gender orientation."
The HHS Youth Suicide Report recommended that "training programs for health
professionals should focus on groups at
high risk for suicidal behavior . . . includ[ ing], as training components, sensitivity to various cultural groups, language
differences, and sexual orientation."
Besides the Human Rights Campaign
Fund, sponsors of the congressional briefing were the Municipal Elections Committee of Los Angeles (MECLA), National
Association of State Boards of Education,
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force,
National Parents and Teachers Association, and Parents and Friends of Lesbians
and Gays.
' ,
•v
Congressional cosponsors were Senators Edward Kennedy (D-MA), Alan
Cranston (D-CA) and James Jeffords (RVT), and Representatives Ted Weiss (DNY), Henry Waxman (D-CA), George
Miller (D-CA), Gerry Studds (D-MA),
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Donald Payne
(D-NJ).
II

NRCFNAMES
DIRECTOR OF NEW
PROJECT
/
Long-time activist and Capitol Hill
insider Kathleen Stoll has been named to
head the Human Rights Campaign Fund's
(HRCF) new Lesbian Issues and Outreach
Project.
The project-one of the first of its
kind in the nation's capitol-will address
the political and policy issues of the lesbian community and develop strategies to
advance those issues through federal legislation, education and advocacy.
In her new capacity at HRCF, Stoll will
develop policy positions and legislative
proposals and integrate them into HRCF's
political, lobbying, media and constituent
mobilization operations.
She will also design and implement
outreach programs to inform the lesbian
and women 's community of political
developments and to provide feedback to
HRCF on women's issues; and build coalitions within the lesbian community and
with progressive women's groups.
Continued on next page

continued from previous page

HRCF is the largest national gay and
lesbian and AIDS political organization.
HRCF lobbies and advocates for full gay
and lesbian civil rights and responsible
AIDS policy, and makes contributions to
pro-gay candidates for U.S. Congress. •

fere with your accepting and loving
yourself.
Whatever your next step is -discover
it, declare it, take it! You personally make
a difference!
We are everywhere! National Coming
Out Day is about demonstrating and
celebrating that fact.
For more information call or write:
National Coming Out Day
Post Office Box 15524
Santa Fe, NM 87506
(505) 982-2558
•

GLA NEWS
The OU Gay and Lesbian Alliance
meets every Thursday at 7:30 p.m. in the
Student Union. The October schedule is:

NATIONAL COMING OUT
DAY, OCTOBER 11, 1989
National Coming Out Day is a call
to action! It is a day to be truthful, powerful and liberated. It is a day for each of
us, and each of our organizations, to take
our next step in the process of coming
out.
National Coming Out Day is designed
to encourage lesbians and gays-and their
families and friends - to enlarge the circle
in which they are "out" about homosexuality and the issues that concern the
lesbian/gay community.
If the AIDS epidemic has taught us anything, it has made it clear that we will
only achieve equality under the law if
we are out and visible. We will only be
treated with respect and dignity if we
expect and demand it. This cannot be
done from the closet. Our ability to
"pass" and to hide has perhaps been our
greatest liability. Most people don't think
that they know anyone who's gay, and
that's what we get for hiding.
Start today by planning your activities on an individual basis, with your
local organizations, on a political level,
and with your family and friends.
You might immediately choose to:
• Develop legislation and lobby for gay
rights in your city or state.
• Write a check or contribute your time
to a lesbian/gay organization.
• Come out to your family, friends or coworkers and elected officials.
• Resolve any personal issues that inter-

Oct. 11 - candlelight march on campus
for National Coming Out.
Oct. 12 - no meeting
Oct. 26 - Sally Jesse Raphael show on
anti-gay violence.
Call 325-4GLA for details and room
number .
•

Heaven's Qate
'J've never asked for mucli, just a "liello" every
now and tlien wlien we meet in passing.
'J watcli you rusli off to do your duty and tears
roll down my face 6ecause in your eyes 'J've seen
tlie 6oredom of tlie years of strange situations and
unfamiliar friends.
At niglit wlien 'J watcli you sleep, as tlie clouds
surround tlie house, and tlie rain calmly falls, 'J see
liow we liave grown fond, and liow we've come so
far. How we came to reali3e tliat we are still 6eing
tested. 'Olien 'J smile to myself and give way to
sleep.
One night, wlien 'J watcli you sleep, as tlie
clouds surround our house, and tfie rain gently
falls, wlien tliat night comes and tlie liglit in your
eyes dims, 'J'll watcli you quietly sleeping and 'J'll
liear tlie rain 6eckoning, 'J'll kiss you lightly on tlie
cheek and slied a tear, tlien 'J will peacefully and
willingly die, witli a sliglit sense of wliat heaven on
eartli really was.

D.S.P.

Letters to the Editor
Dearest Herland,

Hi girls. I finally rested up enough to
write! I recently met a woman named Helen
who's from Norman, so I wrote her about
my upcoming Labor Day Weekend birthday. I was a little ruffled at turning 30, so I
jokingly asked her to bring a car-load of
women down to celebrate my birthday.
Imagine my surprise when she gleefully told
me about Her land's upcoming retreat, right
here at home!
Listen, to a lonesome Wister, Oklahoma
resident, the thought of 100 women ready to
camp sounded wonderful. Female company
is a luxury here, and I paced the floors till
Labor Day-hardly sleeping with anticipation.
The retreat was everything my friend
said it would be. Ask Tamera, she's wearing battle scars from the al' swimming hole!
Friday nite I wandered in at 10:45 p./m. I
didn't know anyone, but was immediately
welcomed. (See how you are!)
One tent led to another, and I ran home
for a shower at 5 a.m. You girls! You just
opened up your hearts - and your ice
chests - to this smiling country girl. Dallas,
what about you?
I made a point to talk with Karen, who
is associated with Herland publication. We
must have spent 2 hours discussing different things, but she left me with a proud
sense of togetherness, sister~ood, and I left
into the crowd.
I'm happy to say that I made several new
friends at the retreat. (And I got to know
an old one better!).
I think I got some good pictures. All the
singers were great, but it was the woman
that did sign language that impressed me
the most. Her movements were so fluid,
you'd have to be blind not to hear them!
Who'd have ever thought something so
wonderful could touch my section of the
world? My only regret is that I didn't get a
photo of the two women juggling brightly
colored balls the last day of the trip. What
beautiful contrast against the green of the
forest.
Thank you Herland for one big 30th
blowout. Laura and Karen, keep up the
good work. I appreciated it enough for all
the women.
See you next year, whether it be Wister
State Park or beyond. I think you've found
another lifetime member . ..
Donna

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

3

Warm, wooly hugs to Nancy D ., D.S.P.
and Pat H . for their valuable contributions to this month's newsletter. I can't
tell you how much I appreciate your
help. If anyone wants to contribute
something, the only rule is that it not be
lewd, obscene or erotic i~ nature. I have
the right to edit for grammar and spelling, but not to change ideas or feelings.
I can guarantee your contribution will
get in the newsletter, but I can't guarantee which issue unless time is of the
essence. I'm also not going to pressure
you to write more once you've contributed something. I can't make it any easier than that, folks, short of writing it
for you ....
warmer, wooly hugs to our camp director, Laura, for putting together the biggest and best retreat in Herland's herstory! If you weren't there, you really
missed out on some fun times. Many
thanks to the following exceptional
women, Ann Reed, the Therapy Sisters,
Peggy Johnson, Mary Reynolds and
Sally B. for their time, talents and
equipment; the chefs who slaved over
the hot stoves; those who provided
workshops; those who did chores and
ran errands; and to the campers for
their support and energy ....
correction on the information regarding
Ache. I have been told it is a black lesbian journal, not a newsletter, and the
corect address is: Ache, P.O. Box 6071,
Albany, CA 94706, or call (415) 8240703 for more information. Thanks
Skyeward . .. .

-------

OU Update is a monthly newsletter
published by the OU Gay / lesbian
Alliance. For more information about
them or for a copy of their newsletter,
stop by their office at 303 Ellison Hall,
633 Elm Ave., Norman. Their telephone number is ( 405) 325-4GLA .. . .

in response to a "Letter to the Editor"
published a few months ago about
bisexuality, there is a national newsletter titled Bisexuality. For more information, send a self-addressed, stamped
envelope to: Gibbin Publications, P.O.
Box 20917, Long Beach, CA 908013917. There is also a Boston-based
newsletter titled BiWomen. For information about that newsletter, write: P.O.
Box 639, Cambridge, MA 02140 . . ..

4

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

ATTENTION ALL BOARD MEMBERS!!! Please note that the time for
the October board meeting has been
moved up to 2 p .m. on the 15th to give
everyone time to get ready for the masquerade ball ....
what masquerade ball?!?!?!? The one at
the Porthole on October 15 that you
are all invited to! It starts at 8 p.m.
Admission is $3. Entertainment will be
provided by the Mary Reynolds Band,
playing rock n' roll and country-western
dance music. Events during the evening
will include a costume contest and a
limbo contest. Proceeds from the ball
will go toward the Herland Concert
Fund, a fund that will be used to bring
more women's music to our area. So,
dress up and begin the 1989 Halloween
festivities by partying for a "note"
worthy cause. For more information,
call 528-0020 ....
there is a book available for ~nyone
who is at a loss as to what to say, think
or do when it comes to incest, whether
it has happened to them or someone
else. The book is titled "Incest: What
to Think, What to Say, What to Do,"
by Elaine Westerlund, Ed.D., and is
available for $10.95 from Incest Resources, Inc., 46 Pleasant St., Cambridge, MA 02139 . . . .
while I'm on the subject , m entions in
this column about books, tapes, other
newsletters, etc., are not necessarily
endorsements by me or Herland. We're.
just getting the information out ... .
I found a story in a national newspaper
about a House representative from CA
who decided he would include a graphic
description of homosexual lovemaking
in the Congressional Record. Supposedly,
other representatives took great offense
to this and have asked the House ethics
panel to look into having the comments
expunged from the bound version of
the Record. I don't know about you, but
"expunged" sounds worse than whatever his comments were. The description begins on page H3511 in the June
29 issue, if you're curious . ...

Nancy Day dropped us a line to tell us
that she has finished work on her latest
tape, " Survivor." It is a tape to help
survivors of violence, especially sexual
abuse and rape, heal from their experiences and to raise public awareness
about these issues. As with Nancy's
other tapes, "Daylight" and "By Request Only," "Survivor" will be available from Herland in the near future .. . .
if you are interested in working with the
Older Women's League (OWL), write
to 1325 G Street N.W., Lower Level B,
Washington, D .C . 20005 . The league
focuses on issues affecting older women
such as Social Security, retirement,
health insurance and unemployment.
They provide educational materials on
all these issues ....
On Target is a computer-generated n~w­
sletter for women over 40 and friei\ds.
Published in Connecticut, it is available
in large print or on cassette for visually
impaired or differently abled only. Subscription rates are $12/year (more if
you can, less if you can't). A sample
copy is available at the Resource Center. For more information, write to
"On Target," P.O. Box 386, Uncasville,
CT06382 . . ..

Campuses for Choice is being organized
on the OU campus in conjunction with
the Campaign for Choice Rally to be
held at the Oklahoma state capitol on
Sunday, November 12. This rally coincides with the National Pro-Choice
Rally in Washington, D.C. More information on the rally will be published in
November's newsletter. For more information about Campuses for Choice,
call Vivian Ng at 325-6002 . . . .
I have been remiss in not welcoming
Ginger M ., Pat R. and Mary R. to our
board. Ginger and Pat were past board
members who came back for more punishment (only kidding , sister board
members). Ginger is now in charge of
all advertising for the newsletter and
Mary is head of the program committee. W elcome, Ginger, Pat and
Mary!

Meet the Board
MEET CINDY B.
By Sondra Metzger

FALL RETREAT BIGGEST SUCCESS
EVER
lry Nancy D.
The 1989 Fall Retreat at Lake Wister
State Park in Southeast Oklahoma was
the most successful retreat Herland has
had to date. Not only was it four days
rather than the usual three, but 131 wimmin from Oklahoma and Texas attended.
Many activities were designed to appeal
to a broad spectrum of interests. Concerts
included Peggy Johnson, who opened for
Ann Reed Saturday night, and the Therapy Sisters, who performed music and
comedy Sunday evening (preceded by
our own Sally B. ).
A special thanks goes to Laura and all
the board members for this event, and
especially those volunteers who cooked
the meals for all the campers. And, as
always, the pot luck dinner was a success.
Workshops at the retreat included tarot
card reading, creative writing, AA, ACA,
discussions on spirituality, and the very
well-attended sign language class. Softball
was played Saturday, with the Moldy
Oldies losing to the Cheap Nylons, 13-12.
In addition to these activities, there was
a more important, unscheduled function
going on - the bonding of wimmin from a
multitude of backgrounds and interests.
As wimmin gathered together, the sharing
of hopes, dreams and fears abounded. No
matter if you lived in Oklahoma City or
Dallas, there was a commonality of seeking equality and recognition that out-

weighed the distance and rivalries. Conversations ranged from who the first
woman president would be to hopes for a
more open society. A comment was made
that men perpetuate the rivalries of football teams between Texas and Oklahoma,
but wimljilin from these two states can
come together, share jokes, and also share
a love and understanding that men could
not comprehend.
So, if you have never been to an HSR
retreat, I strongly encourage you to do so.
The wimmin from Texas have said they
will attend the Spring 1990 retreat with
the largest flag they can find.
•

The hardest part of these interviews is
finding the right headline. Sometimes I try
to make it descriptive of that board
member. Sometimes I'm rushed and just
let it go with a "meet so-and-so." Sometimes I just can't put it into a few words.
Such is the case with Cindy B. In the
year I have been on the board, I have found
her to be many-faceted, and the most misunderstood because of it. I couldn't wait to
do this interview to see which side I was
going to be able to show you.
Cindy showed me a calm, 26-year-old
who busses tables at the Classen Grille. Up
to this point in time, she has been a sound
technician and booking manager for the
Sisters of Swing/Shartels, played bass for
the Three of Hearts and has given mU$h of
her spare time to Herland's board, the
Oasis Community Center board and OK
Gay /Lesbian Political Caucus. As of this
writing, Cindy has "retired" from all of
that.
"I need a rest," she said. "I did what I
could for the board (HSR) and could
probably do more, but I have never spent
any time on just myself for as long as I can
remember. All the energy I have needs to
be put into myself right now."
Cindy went on to explain that for the
past two years, she has hid to go somewhere constantly, whether it be a meeting
or function, a gig or a fund-raiser. This is
something I'm sure a lot of us can relate to.
Those of you who have followed the
Shartels are probably well aware of one of
Cindy's other sides, her alter ego Rusty.
Cindy considers Rusty an incredible woman who would get away with doing and
saying things that she herself never would.
She claims that Rusty was never turned
down or rejected.
"I think that whole experience can teach
a person a lot about attitude," she said. "If
you have that attitude and you envision
positive things, positive things happen.
Rusty thought she was God's gift to
women and that's the way women treated
her. She did stuff that I would never dream
of doing."
Cindy went on to explain that Rusty was
the uninhibited part of herself, that she
only let people see what she wanted them
continued on next page

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

5

I
I
I

continued from previous page

to see, which was what Cindy did a long
time ago. Nowadays she's feeling more
comfortable with herself due in part to a
supportive circle of friends.
Along with playing bass, Cindy also
played trumpet and french horn. She loves
the music business and would like to be a
roadie for a big-name female performer
someday.
.
Cindy is another one of those board
members who heard about HSR from
Barbara Cleveland. After going to the store
and buying several books, Cindy didn't
become sold on Berland until after the
first retreat.
"I live for retreats," she said. "Retreats
provide a great chance to recharge and be
around good energy. Every woman should
go to a Berland retreat at some point in her
life. Where else could you go to eat and
sleep, be entertained by nationally known
performers and be with 130 other women
for three days and four nights for just $30?
It's the best deal in the country."
Before she found out about Berland,
Cindy thought the gay community was
limited to the bars. She had no understanding of anything else.
"When I found Berland, I woke up and
smelled the coffee," she said. "Deep down
I think I knew it had to be there. Something kept me alive for all those years. It
was great to be around positive women
who didn't have to go out and drink all the
time. Women I could learn something
from as well. I felt I had things I could
bring to the board, but I didn't know what
they were at the time."
Cindy is also a past Sister 1, who considers that as the most stressful time of her
tenure on the board because of having to
sign her name to the contract for the property on 39th street.
"That was a major goal, to have our own
property," she said. "We were all kind of
scared. But, it worked out for us. I think
there's still a lot of good things in store for
Berland."
Cindy envisions Berland becoming a
major women's organization in this part of
the country. She also sees the retreats
becoming a major festival and feels the
only thing blocking the way is attitude-a
willingness to reach out and to grow.
Even though Cindy has resigned from
Herland's board, she highly recommends
getting involved with the organization. She
feels it's the only thing to do if someone
really wants to give something to the
women's community and get something

6

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

back in return. According to Cindy, it's
not all give-give-give; you do get something back.
"I was given so much through Berland,"
she said. "I have so many close friends
now. I feel close to a lot of women on the
board and have been friends with them for
years. They have helped me grow and have
helped me get through some pretty rough
times."
Cindy feels confident that any woman
who wants to get involved but doesn't
know what she has to offer Berland will
find out with help from the women on the
board. She sees Berland as a positive facet
of the community, giving women an opportunity to grow, live, love and learn.
"This board is so diverse," she said.
"All the women are so different. They
have different personal lives, they're into
different things, their personalities are different, they have different ideas. That's
what makes it so wonderful. It does cause
some problems, but if everyone keeps an
open mind and doesn't try to push their
own personal issues and listens to others'
ideas, it will work. It does work. We are all
in it for the same thing-we all love Berland. And that's the bottom line. That's
why it works."
Thanks, Cindy, for caring and giving so
much of yourself to Berland. Your time
and energy came through when we needed
it most.
•

INVISIBLE LIVES:
A BOOK REVIEW
by Karen Lewis
Invisible Lives- The Truth About Millions of Women-Loving Women, a long-

awaited book by Martha Barron Barret,
has finally been published by William
Morrow and Co.
Two years ago, Barrett, author of two
novels, Maggie's Way (1981) and God's
Country ( 1987), traversed the United
States from New England to California
and back again interviewing 120 women
from all walks of life. In both major cities
and rural towns, Barrett gathered dta for
this composite of biographical sketches of
today's lesbian lives. The book is, for the
most part, written in the words of those
interviewed.
During her fact-finding tour, Barrett
and her female traveling companion,
Sandy-to whom the book is dedicatedspent time in this reviewer's home in
Moore. ·where she interviewed a living-

room full of local women. The result is a
chapter devoted to Oklahoma, Herland
Sister Resources and the stories of several
Oklahoma lesbians.
The book is structured into thirteen
umbrella categories, each describing a different aspect of the multi-faceted lesbian
lifestyle. Covering such topics as who we
are, the secrecy with which many of us find
it necessary to burden ourselves, being out
in the open, discrimination, youth, sexuality, women's music/books and working
for social change, Barrett's work runs the
gamut of today's lesbian life.
In one chapter, Barrett discusses the
subtle, yet devastatingly repressive differences that society imposes upon adolescent lesbian relationships as opposed to
heterosexual relationships. These differences give birth to secrecy which "corrodes from within." This poisoning of the
self can be neutralized only through revelation of the secret(s).
Throughout the book, inte,r~iewees
make reference to the repression;voppression and discrimination associated with
the lifestyle-and counter it with the liberation felt in acknowledging and living
one's true identity.
There is a very poignant chapter on Rose
Mary Denman, a Methodist minister
turned Unitarian who suffered ungodly
discrimation at the hands of the Methodist
church after she revealed her lesbianism.
Hers was the first church trial in over 100
years and the first of its kind ever.
In her coverage of women working for
social change, Barrett addresses the National Organization for Women, the
YWCA and women's shelters, the Michigan Organization for Human Rights, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, and
a number of other organizations-all
through the eyes and voices of the women
involved.
While this reviewer is impressed with
the finished product, a few shortcomings
in the book have been perceived: 1) coverage of the black lesbian experience is
minimal; 2) there is little indication of the
socioeconomic differentiation among the
women in the book; 3) there is a lack of
representation of the differently-abled and
hearing-impaired, many of whom are part
of the lesbian community; and 4) no mention is made of either the National Gay
and Lesbian Task Force or the National
Campaign for Human Rights, two organizations working for legislative changes on
gay and lesbian issues on a national scale.
However, even with the deficits the conContinued on next page

Continued from previous page

tent is very worthwhile reading based
upon the wealth of information it does
include.
In Invisible Lives, Barrett has interwoven
individuals, issues, relationships, organizations and social change efforts with the
mastery of a true artist to create an
enthralling text encompassing virtually
the entire range of lesbian experience and
its associated complexities, both joyful
and sad.
An enriching addition to any women's
library, Invisible Lives- The Truth About
Millions of Women-Loving Women is for
sale in hardback for $19.95 at Berland.
For readers living in the Oklahoma outreaches or in another state, the book may
be mailordered from Berland for $22.45
(to cover postage and handling).
•

ANNOUNCES
NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY
October 11 - 7-9 p.m., Resource Center
Discussion group on coming out experiences

FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEO
Oct. 13, 7:30 p.m. - "The Women of Brewster Place, Part II"

MASQUERADE BALL
~
October 15, 8:00 p.m. - $3 admission
Entertainment by the Mary Reynolds Band
BOARD MEETING
October 15, 2:00 p.m. - Resource Center

'

I

'II

FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEO
October 13, 7:30 p.m. - "Nuts"

r : - - - - - - - - - - - - -- 1

VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION

D YES! I want to be a Friend of Harland. My minimum
donation of $12 allows me use of the Harland Library and
a 10% discount on store purchases over the next 12
months. (My $12 is enclosed.)

October 29, 2:00 p.m. - Resource Center

I
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I
I
I
I

D YES! I want to help Harland with a donation to the
New Building Fund.

D $15
D $50

D $20
D $100

D Bookstore volunteer

D $25
D $_ _

D Building volunteer

COMING IN NOVEMBER
GARAGE SALE - November 4, 8 a.m. - 6 p.m. and Nov. 5, 8
a.m. - 4 p.m., at 2024 NW 20th. If you would like to donate
items, please drop them off at the Resource Center, ot call
521-9696 if the items need to be picked up.

Name - - - - - - - - - - - - 1 Address _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

: City

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SL___ ZIP _ _

Tel~phone Number: (

Mall to:

Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 N.W. 39th
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

HERLAND HOURS
Sat.: 10 - 6; Sun.: 1 - 6; Wed. Evening: 6:30 - 9

EDITORIAL POLICY!
The HERLAND VOICE is offered as an
open forum for community discourse. Materials
printed herein reflect the beliefs and opinions of
the authors of the artides or letters, and not
necessarily those of the Newsletter or the
Herland Board.
Letters to the editor must be signed by the
writer with full name. Letters will not be
printed with name unless writer requests it.
Editing may be necessary for space or to avoid
obscenity, libel, or invasion of privacy, but ideas
will not be altered. Publication of all materials
is at the discretion of the editors. Anyone
having a complaint about the content of this
newsletter may contact the editors at 521-9696.

HERLAND IS ...
A non-profit corporation composed of a collective of wimmin - open to any womyn who
wants to be a part of it - which works to maintain a feminist library and bookstore, sponsors
workshops, retreats, concerts and other events for YOU. Herland's reason for being is to
provide a framework for a variety of projects for the support and enjoyment of the area
wimmin's community. It is a place to learn and grow, meet other wimmin, develop lasting
friendships, receive support and nurture the positive self-image that societal attitudes
sometimes make illusive to us. Herland exists to serve YOU.
Your donations are used to pay the mortgage and utilities on the resource center, and
printing and postage for the monthly HSR Newsletter and Friend of Herland cards.
All of Herland's services are free, including the Newsletter. This is why your donation is so
important. It is Herland's lifeblood.

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

7

8

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989



do~HERLAND ~
OCTOBER, 1989

ICE

SYMPATHIES ...
Our sympathy and concern go out to
Joni T. and other friends of Ruby Todd,
who was murdered on "The Strip" on
Saturday night, September 30. At this late
date HSR was unable to obtain details,
except that the decision is being made as
to whether the 16-year-old boy who shot
and killed Ruby will be tried as an adult.
The seriousness of the repercussions of
this tragedy is only beginning to be felt by
stunned members of the community.
Funeral services were held Wednesday,
October 4th at 10:00 a.m.
·v •

TAPE RELEASE PARTY
Friendships United invites everyone to attend a party celebrating the long-awaited
release of the cassette tape, "The Winds."
The party will be held at Gushers on Oct. 22 beginning at 8:30 p.m. Artists who
contributed songs and their musical gifts to the making of the tape will be on hand to
autograph copies of the tape. The tape is priced on a sliding scale of $8 - $10, with all
proceeds going to the AIDS hospice, The Winds.
Tapes are available at the following locations: Berland, Starwind, Gushers, Jungle
Red's (located directly across from Gushers), and AIDS Support Program.
Tapes are also available through mail order by filling out the order form below. Cost
of the tape through mail order is a sliding scale of $8.50 - $10.50, which includes
postage. Autographed tapes are available for $15.50, postage included.
Checks or money orders should be made payable to Friendships United/ ASP. For
more information, contact Palmira at ( 405) 755-8675.

Please send this form and a check or money order to: Friendships United,
c/o Peggy Johnson, P.O. Box 75842, Oklahoma City, OK 73147.
MAKE CHECK OR MONEY ORDER PAYABLE TO:
FRIENDSHIPS UNITED/ ASP
NAME _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

~

STREET OR BOX NUMBER _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
CITY-- - - - - - - - - - -

STAT~_ _ _ _

ZIP_ __ __

A NEW SYMBOL OF
PRIDE FOR 1990
Lesbian entertainer Robin Tyler has
proposed the phoenix as a national symbol of lesbian and gay pride. The mythical
phoenix, with its feathers of scarlet, blue,
purple and gold, is fabled to live for five
hundred years in the wilderness, then to
burn itself on a funeral pyre and to rise
from its ashes, renewed, to live again.
The phoenix has become an emblem of
immortality and reborn hope, and as we
celebrate the twentieth anniversary of the
Stonewall Rebellion, it indeed seems like
a suitable symbol for our movement. •

NUMBER OF TAPES ORDERED _ _ _ _ AMOUNT ENCLOSED$ _ _ __

VOLUME 6 NUMBER 10

•

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

•

(405) 521-9696

HSR-CALENDAR OF
EVENTS-OCTOBER
Oct. 9 • Oklahoma Gay /Lesbian Political
Caucus meeting, 7 p.m., Resource
Center.
Oct. 11 • National Coming Out Day,
group discussion, 7 - 9 p.m., Recource
Center.
Oct. 12 • 13 • Domestic Violence Awareness Conference, Baptist Hospital conference room.
Oct. 12 ·Peggy Johnson and Mary Reynolds performing at the Domestic Violence Awareness Conference, Baptist
Hospital conference room, 7 p.m.
Oct. 13 • Friday Night Video, "The
Women of Brewster Place, Part II,''
7:30p.m.
Oct. 15 • Board meeting, 2 p.m., Resource Center
Oct. 15 • Last day for submissions for
the newsletter.
Oct. 15 • Masquerade Ball, the Porthole, 8:00 p.m. $3 admission, fundraiser for the concert fund.
Oct. 21 ·Peggy Johnson performing at
the Cantina del Paseo, 3007 Paseo,
9:00p.m.
Oct. 22 • Friendships United tape
release party, Gushers, 8:30 p.m.
7:30p.m.

Oct. 29 - Volunteer Orientation, 2 p.m.,
Resource Center

Nov. 4 • 5 • HSR Garage Sale, 8-6 Sat.,
8-4 Sun. 2024 NW 20th.

PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 NW 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
EXECUTIVE EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger
NATIONAL NEWS EDITOR
Karen Lewis
CITY NEWS EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger
TYPESETIING: Rhonda S.
CIRCULATION: 700
GENERAL INFO (405) 521-9696
ADVERTISING: 521-9696
DEADLINE on all advertising and submissions is
the 15th of each month.
SUBSCRIPTIONS to the HERLAND VOICE are
free upon request.

2

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

Around the Country
GROUPS PRESENT
BRIEFING ON
STUDENTS AND
SEXUAL IDENTITY
In September, a coalition of leading gay
and lesbian civil rights groups and education organizations presented a special
Senate and House staff briefing on the
importance of providing students with
positive information and counseling concerning their sexual identity.
The briefing comes in response to
attacks in Congress against programs that
educate and counsel youth on sexual
identity, and to a recent Health & Human
Services Report that revealed gay and
lesbian teenagers are significantly more
likely to attempt suicide than other youth.
"We want to educate and inform Congressional staff on adolescent sexual
identity issues and help dispel common
misperceptions about gay and lesbian
students," said Tim Mcfeeley, executive
director of the Human Rights Campaign
Fund (HRCF). HRCF, the largest national
gay and lesbian political organization, was
a sponsor of the briefing- one of the first
of its kind in Congressional history.
"Perceptions that young gays are 'just
going through a phase' about their sexuality, are maladjusted and mentally ill or
are 'recruited' into homosexuality are
extremely dangerous to the health of
American youth,'' said Mcfeeley. "These
perceptions-combined with the lack of
positive education programs on sexualityfuel homophobia and gay and lesbian
teenage alienation."
Gay and youth advocates realized the
need for a greater awareness of gay and
lesbian youth issues when, during last
year's debate on the Labor, Health &
Human Services Appropriations bill, Sen.
Gordon Humphrey (R-NH) offered an
extremely anti-gay amendment aimed at
students.
The amendment, killed in conference
committee, attempted to ban funding for
school districts when materials, curriculums, or programs "promote or encourage
homosexuality" or use words stating that
homosexuality is "normal," "natural," or
"healthy."
Support of positive programs aimed at
student sexual identity is widespread.
During its 1988 national convention, the

National Educator's Association passed a
resolution stating, "Every school district
should provide counseling for students
who are struggling with their sexual/
gender orientation."
The HHS Youth Suicide Report recommended that "training programs for health
professionals should focus on groups at
high risk for suicidal behavior . . . includ[ ing], as training components, sensitivity to various cultural groups, language
differences, and sexual orientation."
Besides the Human Rights Campaign
Fund, sponsors of the congressional briefing were the Municipal Elections Committee of Los Angeles (MECLA), National
Association of State Boards of Education,
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force,
National Parents and Teachers Association, and Parents and Friends of Lesbians
and Gays.
' ,
•v
Congressional cosponsors were Senators Edward Kennedy (D-MA), Alan
Cranston (D-CA) and James Jeffords (RVT), and Representatives Ted Weiss (DNY), Henry Waxman (D-CA), George
Miller (D-CA), Gerry Studds (D-MA),
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Donald Payne
(D-NJ).
II

NRCFNAMES
DIRECTOR OF NEW
PROJECT
/
Long-time activist and Capitol Hill
insider Kathleen Stoll has been named to
head the Human Rights Campaign Fund's
(HRCF) new Lesbian Issues and Outreach
Project.
The project-one of the first of its
kind in the nation's capitol-will address
the political and policy issues of the lesbian community and develop strategies to
advance those issues through federal legislation, education and advocacy.
In her new capacity at HRCF, Stoll will
develop policy positions and legislative
proposals and integrate them into HRCF's
political, lobbying, media and constituent
mobilization operations.
She will also design and implement
outreach programs to inform the lesbian
and women 's community of political
developments and to provide feedback to
HRCF on women's issues; and build coalitions within the lesbian community and
with progressive women's groups.
Continued on next page

continued from previous page

HRCF is the largest national gay and
lesbian and AIDS political organization.
HRCF lobbies and advocates for full gay
and lesbian civil rights and responsible
AIDS policy, and makes contributions to
pro-gay candidates for U.S. Congress. •

fere with your accepting and loving
yourself.
Whatever your next step is -discover
it, declare it, take it! You personally make
a difference!
We are everywhere! National Coming
Out Day is about demonstrating and
celebrating that fact.
For more information call or write:
National Coming Out Day
Post Office Box 15524
Santa Fe, NM 87506
(505) 982-2558
•

GLA NEWS
The OU Gay and Lesbian Alliance
meets every Thursday at 7:30 p.m. in the
Student Union. The October schedule is:

NATIONAL COMING OUT
DAY, OCTOBER 11, 1989
National Coming Out Day is a call
to action! It is a day to be truthful, powerful and liberated. It is a day for each of
us, and each of our organizations, to take
our next step in the process of coming
out.
National Coming Out Day is designed
to encourage lesbians and gays-and their
families and friends - to enlarge the circle
in which they are "out" about homosexuality and the issues that concern the
lesbian/gay community.
If the AIDS epidemic has taught us anything, it has made it clear that we will
only achieve equality under the law if
we are out and visible. We will only be
treated with respect and dignity if we
expect and demand it. This cannot be
done from the closet. Our ability to
"pass" and to hide has perhaps been our
greatest liability. Most people don't think
that they know anyone who's gay, and
that's what we get for hiding.
Start today by planning your activities on an individual basis, with your
local organizations, on a political level,
and with your family and friends.
You might immediately choose to:
• Develop legislation and lobby for gay
rights in your city or state.
• Write a check or contribute your time
to a lesbian/gay organization.
• Come out to your family, friends or coworkers and elected officials.
• Resolve any personal issues that inter-

Oct. 11 - candlelight march on campus
for National Coming Out.
Oct. 12 - no meeting
Oct. 26 - Sally Jesse Raphael show on
anti-gay violence.
Call 325-4GLA for details and room
number .
•

Heaven's Qate
'J've never asked for mucli, just a "liello" every
now and tlien wlien we meet in passing.
'J watcli you rusli off to do your duty and tears
roll down my face 6ecause in your eyes 'J've seen
tlie 6oredom of tlie years of strange situations and
unfamiliar friends.
At niglit wlien 'J watcli you sleep, as tlie clouds
surround tlie house, and tlie rain calmly falls, 'J see
liow we liave grown fond, and liow we've come so
far. How we came to reali3e tliat we are still 6eing
tested. 'Olien 'J smile to myself and give way to
sleep.
One night, wlien 'J watcli you sleep, as tlie
clouds surround our house, and tfie rain gently
falls, wlien tliat night comes and tlie liglit in your
eyes dims, 'J'll watcli you quietly sleeping and 'J'll
liear tlie rain 6eckoning, 'J'll kiss you lightly on tlie
cheek and slied a tear, tlien 'J will peacefully and
willingly die, witli a sliglit sense of wliat heaven on
eartli really was.

D.S.P.

Letters to the Editor
Dearest Herland,

Hi girls. I finally rested up enough to
write! I recently met a woman named Helen
who's from Norman, so I wrote her about
my upcoming Labor Day Weekend birthday. I was a little ruffled at turning 30, so I
jokingly asked her to bring a car-load of
women down to celebrate my birthday.
Imagine my surprise when she gleefully told
me about Her land's upcoming retreat, right
here at home!
Listen, to a lonesome Wister, Oklahoma
resident, the thought of 100 women ready to
camp sounded wonderful. Female company
is a luxury here, and I paced the floors till
Labor Day-hardly sleeping with anticipation.
The retreat was everything my friend
said it would be. Ask Tamera, she's wearing battle scars from the al' swimming hole!
Friday nite I wandered in at 10:45 p./m. I
didn't know anyone, but was immediately
welcomed. (See how you are!)
One tent led to another, and I ran home
for a shower at 5 a.m. You girls! You just
opened up your hearts - and your ice
chests - to this smiling country girl. Dallas,
what about you?
I made a point to talk with Karen, who
is associated with Herland publication. We
must have spent 2 hours discussing different things, but she left me with a proud
sense of togetherness, sister~ood, and I left
into the crowd.
I'm happy to say that I made several new
friends at the retreat. (And I got to know
an old one better!).
I think I got some good pictures. All the
singers were great, but it was the woman
that did sign language that impressed me
the most. Her movements were so fluid,
you'd have to be blind not to hear them!
Who'd have ever thought something so
wonderful could touch my section of the
world? My only regret is that I didn't get a
photo of the two women juggling brightly
colored balls the last day of the trip. What
beautiful contrast against the green of the
forest.
Thank you Herland for one big 30th
blowout. Laura and Karen, keep up the
good work. I appreciated it enough for all
the women.
See you next year, whether it be Wister
State Park or beyond. I think you've found
another lifetime member . ..
Donna

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

3

Warm, wooly hugs to Nancy D ., D.S.P.
and Pat H . for their valuable contributions to this month's newsletter. I can't
tell you how much I appreciate your
help. If anyone wants to contribute
something, the only rule is that it not be
lewd, obscene or erotic i~ nature. I have
the right to edit for grammar and spelling, but not to change ideas or feelings.
I can guarantee your contribution will
get in the newsletter, but I can't guarantee which issue unless time is of the
essence. I'm also not going to pressure
you to write more once you've contributed something. I can't make it any easier than that, folks, short of writing it
for you ....
warmer, wooly hugs to our camp director, Laura, for putting together the biggest and best retreat in Herland's herstory! If you weren't there, you really
missed out on some fun times. Many
thanks to the following exceptional
women, Ann Reed, the Therapy Sisters,
Peggy Johnson, Mary Reynolds and
Sally B. for their time, talents and
equipment; the chefs who slaved over
the hot stoves; those who provided
workshops; those who did chores and
ran errands; and to the campers for
their support and energy ....
correction on the information regarding
Ache. I have been told it is a black lesbian journal, not a newsletter, and the
corect address is: Ache, P.O. Box 6071,
Albany, CA 94706, or call (415) 8240703 for more information. Thanks
Skyeward . .. .

-------

OU Update is a monthly newsletter
published by the OU Gay / lesbian
Alliance. For more information about
them or for a copy of their newsletter,
stop by their office at 303 Ellison Hall,
633 Elm Ave., Norman. Their telephone number is ( 405) 325-4GLA .. . .

in response to a "Letter to the Editor"
published a few months ago about
bisexuality, there is a national newsletter titled Bisexuality. For more information, send a self-addressed, stamped
envelope to: Gibbin Publications, P.O.
Box 20917, Long Beach, CA 908013917. There is also a Boston-based
newsletter titled BiWomen. For information about that newsletter, write: P.O.
Box 639, Cambridge, MA 02140 . . ..

4

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

ATTENTION ALL BOARD MEMBERS!!! Please note that the time for
the October board meeting has been
moved up to 2 p .m. on the 15th to give
everyone time to get ready for the masquerade ball ....
what masquerade ball?!?!?!? The one at
the Porthole on October 15 that you
are all invited to! It starts at 8 p.m.
Admission is $3. Entertainment will be
provided by the Mary Reynolds Band,
playing rock n' roll and country-western
dance music. Events during the evening
will include a costume contest and a
limbo contest. Proceeds from the ball
will go toward the Herland Concert
Fund, a fund that will be used to bring
more women's music to our area. So,
dress up and begin the 1989 Halloween
festivities by partying for a "note"
worthy cause. For more information,
call 528-0020 ....
there is a book available for ~nyone
who is at a loss as to what to say, think
or do when it comes to incest, whether
it has happened to them or someone
else. The book is titled "Incest: What
to Think, What to Say, What to Do,"
by Elaine Westerlund, Ed.D., and is
available for $10.95 from Incest Resources, Inc., 46 Pleasant St., Cambridge, MA 02139 . . . .
while I'm on the subject , m entions in
this column about books, tapes, other
newsletters, etc., are not necessarily
endorsements by me or Herland. We're.
just getting the information out ... .
I found a story in a national newspaper
about a House representative from CA
who decided he would include a graphic
description of homosexual lovemaking
in the Congressional Record. Supposedly,
other representatives took great offense
to this and have asked the House ethics
panel to look into having the comments
expunged from the bound version of
the Record. I don't know about you, but
"expunged" sounds worse than whatever his comments were. The description begins on page H3511 in the June
29 issue, if you're curious . ...

Nancy Day dropped us a line to tell us
that she has finished work on her latest
tape, " Survivor." It is a tape to help
survivors of violence, especially sexual
abuse and rape, heal from their experiences and to raise public awareness
about these issues. As with Nancy's
other tapes, "Daylight" and "By Request Only," "Survivor" will be available from Herland in the near future .. . .
if you are interested in working with the
Older Women's League (OWL), write
to 1325 G Street N.W., Lower Level B,
Washington, D .C . 20005 . The league
focuses on issues affecting older women
such as Social Security, retirement,
health insurance and unemployment.
They provide educational materials on
all these issues ....
On Target is a computer-generated n~w­
sletter for women over 40 and friei\ds.
Published in Connecticut, it is available
in large print or on cassette for visually
impaired or differently abled only. Subscription rates are $12/year (more if
you can, less if you can't). A sample
copy is available at the Resource Center. For more information, write to
"On Target," P.O. Box 386, Uncasville,
CT06382 . . ..

Campuses for Choice is being organized
on the OU campus in conjunction with
the Campaign for Choice Rally to be
held at the Oklahoma state capitol on
Sunday, November 12. This rally coincides with the National Pro-Choice
Rally in Washington, D.C. More information on the rally will be published in
November's newsletter. For more information about Campuses for Choice,
call Vivian Ng at 325-6002 . . . .
I have been remiss in not welcoming
Ginger M ., Pat R. and Mary R. to our
board. Ginger and Pat were past board
members who came back for more punishment (only kidding , sister board
members). Ginger is now in charge of
all advertising for the newsletter and
Mary is head of the program committee. W elcome, Ginger, Pat and
Mary!

Meet the Board
MEET CINDY B.
By Sondra Metzger

FALL RETREAT BIGGEST SUCCESS
EVER
lry Nancy D.
The 1989 Fall Retreat at Lake Wister
State Park in Southeast Oklahoma was
the most successful retreat Herland has
had to date. Not only was it four days
rather than the usual three, but 131 wimmin from Oklahoma and Texas attended.
Many activities were designed to appeal
to a broad spectrum of interests. Concerts
included Peggy Johnson, who opened for
Ann Reed Saturday night, and the Therapy Sisters, who performed music and
comedy Sunday evening (preceded by
our own Sally B. ).
A special thanks goes to Laura and all
the board members for this event, and
especially those volunteers who cooked
the meals for all the campers. And, as
always, the pot luck dinner was a success.
Workshops at the retreat included tarot
card reading, creative writing, AA, ACA,
discussions on spirituality, and the very
well-attended sign language class. Softball
was played Saturday, with the Moldy
Oldies losing to the Cheap Nylons, 13-12.
In addition to these activities, there was
a more important, unscheduled function
going on - the bonding of wimmin from a
multitude of backgrounds and interests.
As wimmin gathered together, the sharing
of hopes, dreams and fears abounded. No
matter if you lived in Oklahoma City or
Dallas, there was a commonality of seeking equality and recognition that out-

weighed the distance and rivalries. Conversations ranged from who the first
woman president would be to hopes for a
more open society. A comment was made
that men perpetuate the rivalries of football teams between Texas and Oklahoma,
but wimljilin from these two states can
come together, share jokes, and also share
a love and understanding that men could
not comprehend.
So, if you have never been to an HSR
retreat, I strongly encourage you to do so.
The wimmin from Texas have said they
will attend the Spring 1990 retreat with
the largest flag they can find.
•

The hardest part of these interviews is
finding the right headline. Sometimes I try
to make it descriptive of that board
member. Sometimes I'm rushed and just
let it go with a "meet so-and-so." Sometimes I just can't put it into a few words.
Such is the case with Cindy B. In the
year I have been on the board, I have found
her to be many-faceted, and the most misunderstood because of it. I couldn't wait to
do this interview to see which side I was
going to be able to show you.
Cindy showed me a calm, 26-year-old
who busses tables at the Classen Grille. Up
to this point in time, she has been a sound
technician and booking manager for the
Sisters of Swing/Shartels, played bass for
the Three of Hearts and has given mU$h of
her spare time to Herland's board, the
Oasis Community Center board and OK
Gay /Lesbian Political Caucus. As of this
writing, Cindy has "retired" from all of
that.
"I need a rest," she said. "I did what I
could for the board (HSR) and could
probably do more, but I have never spent
any time on just myself for as long as I can
remember. All the energy I have needs to
be put into myself right now."
Cindy went on to explain that for the
past two years, she has hid to go somewhere constantly, whether it be a meeting
or function, a gig or a fund-raiser. This is
something I'm sure a lot of us can relate to.
Those of you who have followed the
Shartels are probably well aware of one of
Cindy's other sides, her alter ego Rusty.
Cindy considers Rusty an incredible woman who would get away with doing and
saying things that she herself never would.
She claims that Rusty was never turned
down or rejected.
"I think that whole experience can teach
a person a lot about attitude," she said. "If
you have that attitude and you envision
positive things, positive things happen.
Rusty thought she was God's gift to
women and that's the way women treated
her. She did stuff that I would never dream
of doing."
Cindy went on to explain that Rusty was
the uninhibited part of herself, that she
only let people see what she wanted them
continued on next page

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

5

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to see, which was what Cindy did a long
time ago. Nowadays she's feeling more
comfortable with herself due in part to a
supportive circle of friends.
Along with playing bass, Cindy also
played trumpet and french horn. She loves
the music business and would like to be a
roadie for a big-name female performer
someday.
.
Cindy is another one of those board
members who heard about HSR from
Barbara Cleveland. After going to the store
and buying several books, Cindy didn't
become sold on Berland until after the
first retreat.
"I live for retreats," she said. "Retreats
provide a great chance to recharge and be
around good energy. Every woman should
go to a Berland retreat at some point in her
life. Where else could you go to eat and
sleep, be entertained by nationally known
performers and be with 130 other women
for three days and four nights for just $30?
It's the best deal in the country."
Before she found out about Berland,
Cindy thought the gay community was
limited to the bars. She had no understanding of anything else.
"When I found Berland, I woke up and
smelled the coffee," she said. "Deep down
I think I knew it had to be there. Something kept me alive for all those years. It
was great to be around positive women
who didn't have to go out and drink all the
time. Women I could learn something
from as well. I felt I had things I could
bring to the board, but I didn't know what
they were at the time."
Cindy is also a past Sister 1, who considers that as the most stressful time of her
tenure on the board because of having to
sign her name to the contract for the property on 39th street.
"That was a major goal, to have our own
property," she said. "We were all kind of
scared. But, it worked out for us. I think
there's still a lot of good things in store for
Berland."
Cindy envisions Berland becoming a
major women's organization in this part of
the country. She also sees the retreats
becoming a major festival and feels the
only thing blocking the way is attitude-a
willingness to reach out and to grow.
Even though Cindy has resigned from
Herland's board, she highly recommends
getting involved with the organization. She
feels it's the only thing to do if someone
really wants to give something to the
women's community and get something

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HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

back in return. According to Cindy, it's
not all give-give-give; you do get something back.
"I was given so much through Berland,"
she said. "I have so many close friends
now. I feel close to a lot of women on the
board and have been friends with them for
years. They have helped me grow and have
helped me get through some pretty rough
times."
Cindy feels confident that any woman
who wants to get involved but doesn't
know what she has to offer Berland will
find out with help from the women on the
board. She sees Berland as a positive facet
of the community, giving women an opportunity to grow, live, love and learn.
"This board is so diverse," she said.
"All the women are so different. They
have different personal lives, they're into
different things, their personalities are different, they have different ideas. That's
what makes it so wonderful. It does cause
some problems, but if everyone keeps an
open mind and doesn't try to push their
own personal issues and listens to others'
ideas, it will work. It does work. We are all
in it for the same thing-we all love Berland. And that's the bottom line. That's
why it works."
Thanks, Cindy, for caring and giving so
much of yourself to Berland. Your time
and energy came through when we needed
it most.
•

INVISIBLE LIVES:
A BOOK REVIEW
by Karen Lewis
Invisible Lives- The Truth About Millions of Women-Loving Women, a long-

awaited book by Martha Barron Barret,
has finally been published by William
Morrow and Co.
Two years ago, Barrett, author of two
novels, Maggie's Way (1981) and God's
Country ( 1987), traversed the United
States from New England to California
and back again interviewing 120 women
from all walks of life. In both major cities
and rural towns, Barrett gathered dta for
this composite of biographical sketches of
today's lesbian lives. The book is, for the
most part, written in the words of those
interviewed.
During her fact-finding tour, Barrett
and her female traveling companion,
Sandy-to whom the book is dedicatedspent time in this reviewer's home in
Moore. ·where she interviewed a living-

room full of local women. The result is a
chapter devoted to Oklahoma, Herland
Sister Resources and the stories of several
Oklahoma lesbians.
The book is structured into thirteen
umbrella categories, each describing a different aspect of the multi-faceted lesbian
lifestyle. Covering such topics as who we
are, the secrecy with which many of us find
it necessary to burden ourselves, being out
in the open, discrimination, youth, sexuality, women's music/books and working
for social change, Barrett's work runs the
gamut of today's lesbian life.
In one chapter, Barrett discusses the
subtle, yet devastatingly repressive differences that society imposes upon adolescent lesbian relationships as opposed to
heterosexual relationships. These differences give birth to secrecy which "corrodes from within." This poisoning of the
self can be neutralized only through revelation of the secret(s).
Throughout the book, inte,r~iewees
make reference to the repression;voppression and discrimination associated with
the lifestyle-and counter it with the liberation felt in acknowledging and living
one's true identity.
There is a very poignant chapter on Rose
Mary Denman, a Methodist minister
turned Unitarian who suffered ungodly
discrimation at the hands of the Methodist
church after she revealed her lesbianism.
Hers was the first church trial in over 100
years and the first of its kind ever.
In her coverage of women working for
social change, Barrett addresses the National Organization for Women, the
YWCA and women's shelters, the Michigan Organization for Human Rights, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, and
a number of other organizations-all
through the eyes and voices of the women
involved.
While this reviewer is impressed with
the finished product, a few shortcomings
in the book have been perceived: 1) coverage of the black lesbian experience is
minimal; 2) there is little indication of the
socioeconomic differentiation among the
women in the book; 3) there is a lack of
representation of the differently-abled and
hearing-impaired, many of whom are part
of the lesbian community; and 4) no mention is made of either the National Gay
and Lesbian Task Force or the National
Campaign for Human Rights, two organizations working for legislative changes on
gay and lesbian issues on a national scale.
However, even with the deficits the conContinued on next page

Continued from previous page

tent is very worthwhile reading based
upon the wealth of information it does
include.
In Invisible Lives, Barrett has interwoven
individuals, issues, relationships, organizations and social change efforts with the
mastery of a true artist to create an
enthralling text encompassing virtually
the entire range of lesbian experience and
its associated complexities, both joyful
and sad.
An enriching addition to any women's
library, Invisible Lives- The Truth About
Millions of Women-Loving Women is for
sale in hardback for $19.95 at Berland.
For readers living in the Oklahoma outreaches or in another state, the book may
be mailordered from Berland for $22.45
(to cover postage and handling).
•

ANNOUNCES
NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY
October 11 - 7-9 p.m., Resource Center
Discussion group on coming out experiences

FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEO
Oct. 13, 7:30 p.m. - "The Women of Brewster Place, Part II"

MASQUERADE BALL
~
October 15, 8:00 p.m. - $3 admission
Entertainment by the Mary Reynolds Band
BOARD MEETING
October 15, 2:00 p.m. - Resource Center

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FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEO
October 13, 7:30 p.m. - "Nuts"

r : - - - - - - - - - - - - -- 1

VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION

D YES! I want to be a Friend of Harland. My minimum
donation of $12 allows me use of the Harland Library and
a 10% discount on store purchases over the next 12
months. (My $12 is enclosed.)

October 29, 2:00 p.m. - Resource Center

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D YES! I want to help Harland with a donation to the
New Building Fund.

D $15
D $50

D $20
D $100

D Bookstore volunteer

D $25
D $_ _

D Building volunteer

COMING IN NOVEMBER
GARAGE SALE - November 4, 8 a.m. - 6 p.m. and Nov. 5, 8
a.m. - 4 p.m., at 2024 NW 20th. If you would like to donate
items, please drop them off at the Resource Center, ot call
521-9696 if the items need to be picked up.

Name - - - - - - - - - - - - 1 Address _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

: City

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SL___ ZIP _ _

Tel~phone Number: (

Mall to:

Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 N.W. 39th
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

HERLAND HOURS
Sat.: 10 - 6; Sun.: 1 - 6; Wed. Evening: 6:30 - 9

EDITORIAL POLICY!
The HERLAND VOICE is offered as an
open forum for community discourse. Materials
printed herein reflect the beliefs and opinions of
the authors of the artides or letters, and not
necessarily those of the Newsletter or the
Herland Board.
Letters to the editor must be signed by the
writer with full name. Letters will not be
printed with name unless writer requests it.
Editing may be necessary for space or to avoid
obscenity, libel, or invasion of privacy, but ideas
will not be altered. Publication of all materials
is at the discretion of the editors. Anyone
having a complaint about the content of this
newsletter may contact the editors at 521-9696.

HERLAND IS ...
A non-profit corporation composed of a collective of wimmin - open to any womyn who
wants to be a part of it - which works to maintain a feminist library and bookstore, sponsors
workshops, retreats, concerts and other events for YOU. Herland's reason for being is to
provide a framework for a variety of projects for the support and enjoyment of the area
wimmin's community. It is a place to learn and grow, meet other wimmin, develop lasting
friendships, receive support and nurture the positive self-image that societal attitudes
sometimes make illusive to us. Herland exists to serve YOU.
Your donations are used to pay the mortgage and utilities on the resource center, and
printing and postage for the monthly HSR Newsletter and Friend of Herland cards.
All of Herland's services are free, including the Newsletter. This is why your donation is so
important. It is Herland's lifeblood.

HSR, OCTOBER, 1989

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HSR, OCTOBER, 1989