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Property of the Center

Triangle Community Center

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News&V~ws

Vol.8, No.5
May 1997

Free to Members and Subscribers

MANY HEARTS • • •

ONE COMMUNITY

WHATS HAPPENING IN MAY & JU
WED,APR30

Ellen Morgan" comes out, whew! 9:30pm, ABC-TV.

FRI,MAY2

Another Octave, the Connecticut Women's Chorus presents Music in My Mothers
House, Unitarian Society of New Haven, Harnden, 8pm.

SAT,MAY3

Another Octave, the Connecticut Women's Chorus presents Music in My Mothers
House, Community Center, Hartford, 8pm.

SAT,MAY3

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo at the Shubert Theater, New Haven, 8pm. Call
Box office or Protix at 1-800-955-5566.

FRI, MAY 16

TCC Friend raiser, at the home of Damian and Len in Shelton, 6-9pm. See article for
directions.

SAT, MAY 17

"Who is Protecting Our Rights?", panel discussion at TCC, 10-lpm. See article for
details.

TUE,MAY20

Center Forum, How to Plan a Fabulous Party, Jack Miller and Todd Merril, Party Planners
Extradinaire, 7:30ish at the center.

SAT, MAY 31

CT Gay Men's Chorus reprises The Hat Ball, the "Prom Night of your Dreams ... with
fifty fabulous men and their eighty-three dancing feet." 8:30, Oakdale Theater, Wallingford.
Info 1-800-644-CGMC.

SUN,JUNE 1

Queens NY Lesbian & Gay Pride March & Multicultural Festival, starts at 12:30pm
at 37th Ave & marches from 89th St. to 75th St. in Jackson Hgts. Info (718) 997-6778.

SAT,JUNE 21

Connecticut Pride in Hartford. Watch for more info .

SUN,JUNE 22

TCC Pride Friendraiser and Back-yard Barbecue - at Meg & Justine's home in
Stratford, 3-6pm. Save the date!

SUN,JUNE 29

Annual New York City Pride_Parade. Watch for more info.

For the latest update on What's Happening in the area check our TCC home page on the internet.

http://members.aol.com/tccenter

BROOKFIELD AREA GROUP
RALLIES TO HELP TEACHER
A group of Brookfield, CT residents has started a legal fund to help a
retired Brookfield High School teacher in her lawsuit against a couple
who accused her of"recruiting" youth to homosexuality.
Veronic~ Berrill,_ a form~r English teacher and the mother of a gay man,
had part1C1pated 111 the high school's "safe wnes" program, where certain
classrooms are marked with pink triangles and designated safe places
where students can talk about their sexuality with understanding teachers. A Brookfield couple, Neal and Katie Houde, objected to the
program, and publicly accused Mrs. Berrill of pursuing a "homosexual
agenda" and engaging in "homosexual recruiting." She responded by
bringing a lawsuit against them for damaging her personal and professional reputation, as well as emotional distress. While this was all going
on, her husband, Jack Berrill, died of cancer at age 72.
In January, the Houdes brought in the Family Institute of Connecticut
and the Virginia-Based American Center for Law and Justice, founded
by Rev. Pat Robertson, to support them . The Center issued a statement
expressing horror that Brookfield students were being taught that
actually "homosexual conduct ... is not only a viable alternative lifestyle,
but is actual equal to heterosexual relationships."
The Danbury and Brookfield papers have given substantial coverage to
both sides of the controversy, including statements by students and
teachers supporting the safe zones program and statements by local

May 1997

pastors and counselors who claim they can help gay people turn
straight. Now friends of Mrs. Berrill have formed a group called the
Committee for the Defense of Classroom Tolerance.
"Veronica Berrill is carrying the load all by herself and she needs
support," said the group's spokesman, Ted LaBonne. He added that
the group's goal is to defend tolerance in all classrooms, not specifically
Berrill's case. A second group has since formed that is circulating a
petition on support of the safe zones and sex education programs in the
school.
Anyone wishing more information or wanting to add their support can
call Ted LaBonne at (203) 743-5552. The Committee can also be
reached by email at GLAofCT@aol.com.
- Roger Hooverman

THE BROOl(FIELD HIGH LETTERS
Reprinted from the Danbury News-Times, March 28, 1997

In the coverage of the safe wnes controversy, The News-Times ran a
transcript of a 1993 talk on being gay that I gave to a group of high
school teachers and peer counselors at my alma mater, Brookfield
High. As a former delivery boy for The News-Times, I never would
have imagined that one day your newspaper would quote me - and
misquote me - so extensively.
Disregarding repeated advance warnings to The News-Times that
there were numerous errors in the transcript, you published it anyway
and failed to advise readers of its source - N ea! and Kathleen H oude the very persons whom my mother, Veronica Berri!, is suing for false
and defamatory charges against her in connection with her participation as a teacher in Brookfield High's safe zones program.

Pagel

T NEWS & VIEWS
There are too many errors to recount, but the following are a few
examples; I'm quoted as saying homophobia is a weapon of "sexes,"
when I said "sexism." When I discuss the religious denominations that
ordain openly gay clergy, the "Union of American Hebrew Congregations" became the "Union of American People congregations" (sic),
"Staying in the closet'' was changed to "taking classes," "rare exceptional" became "rare examples." Discharges oflesbians by the military
"are two to three times greater than discharges of gay men," was
changed to "two to three times favorable to gay men." And so on, ad
nauseam.
These and other errors muddled the talk, and made it confusing to
follow. Having been warned in advance that there were numerous
mistakes, The New-Times should have contacted me to check for
accuracy. Doing so would have been easy, not to mention respectful.
And it was the least I deserved, especially since you invited your readers
to judge the appropriateness of my presentation.
Kevin Berrill
WASHINGTON D .C.
I read with interest the Sunday, March 16 articles on homosexuality,
including the two full pages, B6 and B7, given to Kevin Berrill, a
homosexual. I am patiently waiting to see when two whole newspaper
pages will be given to someone who has come out of the homosexual
lifestyle. Teachers, counselors and students could ask questions, as was
done in Mr. Berrill's talk. I'm sure Dr. Bill Consiglio, who was
mentioned on Page Al, could give you the name of a former homosexual.
In the interest of journalistic fairness, another article should be presented.
Mr. Berrill seems to think that the homosexual lifestyle is normal. One
has only to consider the design of the human anatomy- male and female
- to know what normal is. It's pretty obvious that the male sex organ was
created for the female vagina. I don't see how anyone can argue
otherwise. Maybe we need more plain old anatomy lessons in the
schools.
Claire Siebert
NEW FAIRFIELD
It is sad that the Houdes are spending so much energy to impose their
will on the rest of society. To see two adults so disturbed over someone
else's sexual orientation is frankly bizarre, if not a little kinky. I'd like to
ask N ea! Houde to explain exactly how he is being personally harmed by
homosexuality? Or by young adults discussing homosexuality? He
never once claims to have been damaged by gays in any way and he
admits to pursuing this whole ugly affair because his religion is anti-gay
and he's offended by the "gay lifestyle."
I was raised Catholic and this sort of non-Christian rejection of so many
of God's children is one of the reasons I left the church. When Jesus told
us to love our neighbors, I believe he meant all of them, not just the ones
we approve of.
The Houdes are offended by gays? I'm more offended by narrowminded bigots who insist on forcing everyone to conform to their views.
Human homosexuality has been around ever since human beings
evolved. Homosexual behaviors are found in all the primates, as well as
countless other animal species. If God Almighty created homosexuality,
who are the Houdes to argue with him?
The faculty and staffofBrookfield High School should be applauded for
creating the safe zones, and for trying to raise everyone's consciousness
regarding sexual orientation. Gay-bashing is directly fueled by attitudes
like the Houdes'. High schools are dangerous places to be gay precisely
because homophobic parents continue to teach their children that gays
are second-class citizens and worthy targets of abuse.
I hope the Houdes find a way to contribute to their community in a more
positive way and cease these attacks on people who don't match their
narrow definition of normal.
Richard White
RIDGEFIELD

May 1997

Congratulations to the Houdes for speaking out against the perversion
that's called the gay lifestyle. Just when society should be demanding
accountability, legally, from the gay cult for spreading AIDS, pedophilia
and generally degrading behavior, they've become politically correct.
Why? Because a society based on condoms and contraceptives must
defend any sexual act or admit it's lying. All contraceptive sex is a lie
because it separates sex from procreation and the marriage bond for
which it is intended.
Fairfield County is supposedly largely Catholic. It is the duty of bishops
and priests to make sure the faithful are catechized truthfully, especially
today in the areas of church-state relationshifs and sexual morality. The
past failure to preach on the sinfulness o contraception led to the
acceptance of all sexual deviation and "tolerance" of murder abortion.
Jesus wants to heal homosexuals not condemn them, but homosexuals
and lesbians condemn themselves by carrying out their disordered
inclinations. It is not charity to condone evil.
Please read the letter "Nondiscrimination Against Homosexual Persons" by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Selectively,
Nos. 10 and 11 state: "Sexual orientation does not constitute a quality
comparable to race, ethnic background, etc., in respect to nondiscrimination. Unlike these, homosexual orientation is an objective disorder
and evokes moral concern.
''There are areas where it is not unjust discrimination to take sexual
orientation into account, for example, in the placement of children for
adoption or foster care; in employment of teachers or athletic coaches
and in military recruitment."
I hope all Christians, Orthodox Jews, Moslems and concerned citizens
will oppose the homosexual agenda and state sex education.
Michael Sheehan
DANBURY

Reprinted from the Danbury News Times, March 29, 1997.
While I appreciate that your paper has been willing to tackle the complex
and controversial subject of gay and lesbian youth, it makes me sad - and
more than a little angry - that so much myth and misinformation are
being bandied about regarding the creation ofsafe zones for lesbian, gay
and bisexual youth in school.
As the founder and executive director of Children From the Shadows
(where the concept of safe zones was first introduced in Connecticut),
I feel competent to provide an accurate working definition of the
concept.
Here's what a "safe zone" is: It is a place where all students can feel safe
and respected regardless of their orientation. A safe zone is a class~oom,
a library, a guidance office - or even a hallway-where a clear and entorced
policy prohibits "hate language." Words that attack an individual on the
basis of his or her race, ethnicity, gender, religion or sexual orientation
are not tolerated.
Here's what a safe zone is not: A special place designed to provide special
rights to sexual minority youth, (Did you ever notice how basic human
rights are considered "special rights" whenever they are demanded by
anyone not of the dominant culture?)
I admire and respect the faculty, administration and staff of Brookfield
High School - and obviously, Veronica Berrill - for the courageous stand
they have taken in the face of continued (and often inaccurate) attacks.
What they are doing is making a difference not only in the lives oflesbian,
gay and bisexual children and their families, but in our society as a whole.
Prejudice hurts everyone - those who espouse it and those who are
targeted. Justice, tolerance and standing up for what is right makes all
of us better human beings. In the light of understanding, shadows
disappear.
Robin M. Passariello
Executive Director
Children From the Shadows
MIDDLETOWN

Pagel

T ~EW5 & VIEWS
TCCNEWS
NEW BOARD MEMBERS
At the April 9 meeting ofTCC's Board of Directors, new officers were elected
to replace the positions vacated by Roger Hooverman, Tom Miraconda and
Marianne Seggertnan. The list of officers now reads:
Don Buxton
Dave Carroll
Barb Schade
Len Horey
Dave Carroll

President
Vice-President
Treasurer
Corresponding Secretary
Acting Recording Secretary

Five board positions are still open. Why not apply? It takes just four hours a
month ofyour time. And unless you work for Arthur Murray, you're dance card
can't be that full.

SPLINTERS FROM THE BOARD
WHAT DOES THE BOARD DO?
by Len Horey, TCC Corresponding Secretary

In case you didn't notice, my name magically reappeared on the list of the board
of directors a couple of months ago. That's because after a year of retirement,
I decided to rejoin the board for one more year. Why would I do something
like that? That's a good question. One that Pm still asking myself. But the
answer may be contained in the list of the board of directors. As of April there
are only five people on the board. That's enough to run the Center but just
barely. Despite all of our efforts, we have been unable to attract more people
to the board.
I can understand why it is difficult to attract people to the board. Many people
are unsure of exactly what the board does. Some imagine that serving on the
board will require huge amounts of their time and requires skills that they lack.
It isn't like that at all.
The board of directors runs the Center. In many respects it is just like the other
committees such as Fundraising or Communications. The board meets on a
regular basis and handles the business of the Center. It is the job of the board
to see that the bills get paid and to decide on things which will affect the Center.
Occasionally those decisions are very important (such as the decision to move
the Center to its present location several years ago), but usually they are simple
decisions (such as, do we want to advertise an upcoming gay related event or
can a particular group use the Center for its meetings). All of the committees
report to the board and the board serves as the interface between the committees. You might think that you have to be a business expert to be on the board.
There is really no need for that. Pm an electrical engineer (yes, there are gay
engineers) and I have no formal business training. Yet, I have never felt
overwhelmed by being on the board. Center business simply isn't that
complicated. Most of it is just common sense. When we do come across
something that is beyond us we get the advice of an expert before making a
decision. The board currently meets twice a month and the meetings are usually
less than two hours long. Board members must be members of the Center, but
we no longer require board members to raise or contribute additional money
to the Center. That was important during the early years of the Center, but
today the Center is financially sound. What we need today are more volunteers
to help fill our committees (including the board).
Joining the board gives you an opportunity to help determine the future of the
Center. If you have ever said "why doesn't the Center. . ." this is a perfect way
to have your voice be heard. I have heard that some women don't want to join
the board because they feel that the Center is run by men. If the Center is run
by men (actually four men and one woman) it is only because we don't have
more women on the board. Our by-laws say that we are supposed to have
gender parity on the board, but we can't have it unless more women join the
board. If you feel that women are under represented at the Center then join the
board and change that. I would really like to have our next president be a
woman, but it can only happen if we get more women to join the board.
I hope that I have given you some idea of what the TCC board does and why
you should consider joining it. Ifyou think that you would like to join the board,
give me (Len) a call at 925-0366.

May 1997

MAY FRIENDRAISER
AT DAMIAN

&

LEN'S IN SHELTON

Our nextTCC friendraiser will be Friday, May 16, 6-9 pm, at the
home of Damian and Len in Shelton. Food will be provided;
BYOB. The usual donation will be requested: $8 members, $10
non-members, more if you can, less if you can't.
Directions: From 195 northbound, take to Exit 27A (Route 25
and Route 8). Continue on the highway until the road splits.
Bear to the right (Route 8) and take the first exit after the highway
splits (Exit 8 - Route 108). At the end of the exit ramp make a left.
Continue to the traffic light and make a left at the light onto Route
108 north. Continue on 108 to a stop sign. Continue on 108
north approximately 3 miles from stop sign and make next right
onto Bayberry Lane. Continue on Bayberry Lane until it ends and
make left onto Mulberry Lane. The house is #25 on the right
(gray house).
From Merrit Parkway northbound, to Exit 51. At the end of exit
ramp make a left at the light onto Route 108 north. Continue on
108 to a stop sign. Continue on 108 north approximately 3 miles
from the stop sign and make the next right onto Bayberry Lane.
Continue on Bayberry lane until it ends and make a left onto
Mulberry lane. The house is #25 on the right (gray house). If you
need more information or get lost, call 925-0366.
LESBIAN LITERATURE GROUP
For its June 3rd meeting, the Lesbian Literature Group has
chosen "Chicana Lesbians (The Girls Our Mothers Warned Us
About)" by Carla Trujllo and is published by 3rd Woman Press.
Not one to mince words, Meg Bachtel provides us with her
synopsis of the book. It is she says, "an anthology of short stories
and poetry by chicana lesbians."
The literature group meets at the Center the first Tuesday ofevery
month at 7: 30 pm. Copies of"Chicana Lesbians" are available at
Bloodroot (203) 576-9168. For more information please call
Christine (203) 847-8476.
SPEAKING OUT FOR OUTSPOKEN
OutSpoken, the youth support group here at TCC, has entered
its fourth year! Over 350 gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and
questioning young people have visited our group. We meet every
Sunday from 4-6pm. We talk about what ever is on our minds :
fitting in at school, dealing with parents, handling relationships,
learning to accept ourselves and others. We talk about movies,
music, and "is Ellen finally going to come out?!?" We laugh. We
support each other. OutSpoken is a "safe place" for young people
to communicate and share their feelings. Some members are
struggling with issues of sexuality. Others are already very
comfortable. One of the greatest joys of working with these
extraordinary people is watching a newcomer to the group realize
that she/he is not alone. Many scared, withdrawn youths have
come to this group only to blossom into self assured, happier
people. We are going to start collecting some of their stories.
Stay tuned to the newsletter!
-Dan Kelly
WoRD' s OuT AaouT "OuT AND AaouT"
"Out and About'' is new here at the center. It is a group for both
women and men age 21-35ish. Members of OutSpoken, the
youth group, that were getting more or less too old for those
meetings, started it. It meets from 7-8pm on the second and
fourth Fridays of the month. But sometimes, it keeps rolling!
Whoever wants to can hang in there. The group has in the past
gone off to the diner, movies, bowling, or dancing till I am . It's
a relaxed, comfortable way for young people, many new to the
area, to make new friends in the gay community.
-Dan Kelly

TCC News Continued on Page 6

Page3

T NEWS & VIEWS
NEWS WORTHY
CT SCHOOL ANTI-HARASSMENT BILL
VOTED OUT OF EDUCATION
COMMITTEE
The education committee of the CT legislature voted out SBI 121 which
includes a section prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation in
public schools (K-12). During discussion on the bill Rep. Elaine Hammers, R
123-Trumbull, introduced a motion to strike this section from the bill. Her
motion was seconded by Rep. Christopher Scalw, R 111-Ridgefield. Rep.
Pamela Sawyer, R 55-Bolton, also spoke against this section. Co-Chairs of the
committee, Sen.Tom Gaffey, D 13-Meriden and Rep. Cam Staples, D 96-New
Haven both spoke in favor of the section. Rep. Art Feltman, D 6-Hartford, the
only openly gay legislator, spoke about the importance of this section in order
to provide safety for our kids in school as did Rep. Richard Veltri, R 9-East
Hartford. The motion was defeated by a voice vote and the full bill was voted
out of committee. "We are extremely pleased that this bill came out of
committee and we are looking forward to its passage in the Senate and then the
House," said Jeff Carstens, Co-Chair of SANE ( Safe and Affirming Network
for Education) the political action arm ofGLSTN CT. The bill will go to the
Senate first so people are urged to contact their Senator and then their
Representative for their support of the bill. For further information contact
Carolyn Gabel, CT Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil
Rights (860-521-4710 or CGFEMINIST@AOL.COM) .

STATEWIDE CIVIL RIGHTS COALITION
FIGHTS ON
The Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil
Rights is a statewide organization that has recently reorganized to protect and
strengthen our civil rights. Expanding the vision of the old statewide coalition
that successfully fought for passage of our gay rights bill, the new coalition has
added "bisexual and transgender" to our name, in order to be more inclusive of
our entire community. Our goals are to work at the state legislature as well as
with our Connecticut members of Congress. This year's agenda includes
support for legislation insuring protection against discrimination in schools,
equal access to the courts for discriminatory cases; domestic partnership
benefits; adequate funding and services for our health needs, including HIV/
AIDS and breast cancer. We are also working to protect our community against
anti-gay proposals, especially efforts to enact laws prohibiting same gender
marriage and efforts to amend our gay rights law to allow discriminatory
military recruiters on state campuses.
The Coalition (CCLGBTCR) has organized a steering committee of representatives from each of the six congressional districts in Connecticut. Steering
Committee members have been meeting monthly at the Lesbian and Gay
Community Center In New Haven. In some congressional districts, we have
organized meetings with state legislators in people's homes or in other settings,
in order to familiarize them with our concerns and issues. We have held meetings
with Speaker of the House Tom Ritter, and with Senate Majority Leader George
Jepsen, both of whom have committed their support to our rights.
In addition, we have also organized the Connecticut Stonewall Congress, as a
forum for all types of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender groups; In
C01mecticut to meet together and share information. The Stonewall Congress
is not political in nature. Meetings have been held several times per year, usually
at Wesleyan University in Middletown, to have presenters address a topic of
interest. Time is always set aside for groups to make announcements and share
information with each other. The next Stonewall Congress event is being
pla1med for next fall. Also, look for us at Gay Pride in Hartford!
These two organizations are vital and growing, because we need to stay In touch
and work together. As you can see from the announcement in this newsletter,
the Stonewall Congress, the Coalition, the local chapter of PFLAG and the
Triangle Community Center are jointly sponsoring a panel discussion on Sat,
May 17, from 10-lpm, atTCC, entitled "Who is Protecting Our Rightsi" We
hope you will join us!
We need members to join the Connecticut Coalition so that we can be stronger!
Dues, are only $5 - please send a check, your name and address, phone (e-mail
and fax, if you have one) to: Paul Hartung, 31 Woodland Street, 2A, Hartford,
C106105-4302. Thanks!
-Leslie Brett & Carolyn Gabel

May 1997

AIR SUPPORT
American Airlines is a major sponsor to and supporter of groups
like GLADD, the Human Rights Campaign, the Gay and
Lesbian Victory Fund, the AIDS Action Foundation, DIFFA,
AMFAR, and scores of community-based groups representing
gays and lesbians. It is also the first airline to adopt a written nondiscrimination policy covering sexual orientation in its employment practices. The airline is also well represented by the
leadership ofits gay and lesbian employee group, GLEAM. For
these pioneering efforts, and its sales and marketing outreach to
the gay and lesbian traveler, American has become the next bull's
eye for hard-hitting, anti-gay corporate attacks.
'Y
THE PROBLEM: An unusual joint letter was released to
the media on Friday, March 14th from the Family Research
Council, Concerned Women of America, American Family
Association and Coral Ridge Ministries. Radical right
leader Beverly LaHaye also went on Christian "talk radio"
on Friday to blast American Airlines because "American's
sponsorship of homosexual 'pride' events constitutes an
open endorsement of promiscuous homosexuality." She
and the other groups have written Bob Crandall at American to complain that the airline has "gone beyond mere
tolerance" of gays and lesbians. (the full article appeared in
Friday's Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and possibly picked up
by other newspapers around the country).
'Y
THE RESULT: It has come to the attention of the gay and
Lesbian community that American Airline's switchboard
and e-mails are being bombarded now by homophobic and
hateful callers who have been urged by LaHaye and others
t<_:> DEMAND the company terminate its gay-friendly policies.
'Y
THE NEED: We need to send our messages of support and
encouragement toAmerican Airlines . It is critical that we
counteract this attack and end the impression that we are
silent and unconcerned when the vicious attacks are unleashed. Even if you do not fly frequently or have not flown
in some time PLEASE write to express your support.
T
THE
MEANS:
E-mail
to
this
address:
Webmaster@amrcorp.com or call personally to the American switchboard in Dallas at (817) 963-1234, then hit "O"
and request the operator to send your caller comment to
their executive offices. You should be able to reach an
individual with whom you may register your views.
It is essential that we counter the attack that American is under,
and stand up for those that support us!! Please e-mail American
and show your support for their outreach to the gay and lesbian
traveler, support of gay and lesbian groups, and their gayfriendly policies.
GAYS SEEK

Alo

FOR HOLOCAUST

VICTIM S
A gay delegation met with Swiss officials Thursday to urge that
gays receive a fair share of a new $71 million humanitarian fund
for needy Holocaust victims. Gays were among those groups
including Jews, gypsies, Slavs and communists - targeted by the
Nazis for concentration camps and extermination.
The meeting in the Swiss capital of Bern came a day after the
Swiss government formally founded the fund._ The gay orgamzation Pink Cross argued that money should aid any Holocaust
victim, regardless of race or religion, or political or se>.'Ual
orientation.
"We had the feeling that we were met with open ears," said Pink
Cross spokesman Rolf Gerber. He said the meeting with the
government's task force on Holocaust victims was "very open
and productive."
News Worthy Continued on Page 7

Page4

T NEWS & VIEWS
FEATURES
A FEW SELECTED

TERMS FROM GABONICS PAST

AND PRESENT:
In Oakland, Calif., they started the debate about Ebonics: Is it a language, a
dialect or just some kind of strange slang? In South Florida there's Cubonics and
where ever gays and lesbians gather you're likely to hear "gaybonics."
The experts tell us that groups who feel left out of the majority develop theirown
terminology either because t~e)'.'re isolated or because they feel the need to speak
in code. In days gone by this lmgo might have been referred to as camf, but
younger gays and lesbians are adding to, and using, the language as wel .
Here are a few examples of commonly used "gaybonic" terms. This list is by no
means all inclusive, but represents a sampling of the terminology that ~any in
the community have grown accustomed to using over the years. Sources mclude
conversations with you, phrases overheard at the bar, on the beach and at the
community center, as well as "The Queen's Vernacular" by Bruce Rodgers.

AC-DC: bisexual
Angel Food: a gay member of the
Air Force
Bareback: sex without a condom
Basket: the outline of male genitals
crammed into pants
BB: bump buddy or butt buddy; a
sex partner
BD: Baby Dyke
Bear: a hairy-chested man
Betty and Barney: term for women
and men heard in gay bars
Brown Berry: (mid '60s) a virginal
ass hole
Chicken Hawk: a gay man who
goes after young men
Chicken of the Sea: a gay member
of the Navy
Closet Case: a gay or lesbian in
denial about sexual orientation
Cornflakes: (Southwest, late '60s)
lovable, big, dumb farm boy
Kissing Fish: (from novel by the
same name by Monique Lange)
lesbians
Lampshade Queen: inferior decorator
Leather Crowd: subculture of
leather boys
Lipstick Lesbian: a lesbian who
wears makeup and feminine
clothes
Local Talent: the local gay crowd
Make Mudpies: (1970) have sex in
the bushes while it rains or
drizzles
Mary: a gay man
Miss Thing: someone who thinks
they are "all that"; conceited
Motel Time: the last frantic minutes
before a bar closes last call for
alcohol
Norma: a heterosexual or a gay man
that says he' s returning to the
straight world

May 1997

Octopus Disease: the symptoms include fondling others in public
places
Our Miss Brooks. (from the television series) gay male teacher
Pansy without a Stem:(camp, mid
'60s) lesbian
Pap-nibbler: nipple sucker
POU: Positively One of Us
Press the Dress: get ready for social
activities
Put on Pink (or Purple) Pants: to
dress up for a gala event
Queen: an effeminate gay man; or
just a general slang term among
gay men for each other
Queer Dear: straight woman who
hangs out with gay men (also,
fag hag)
Rice Queen: any gay man that's attracted to Asian men
Run in the Nylons: clue that one's
homosexuality is showing
Safari: (dated, '50s) a younger entourage surrounding an older
person
Set the Table: to change the bed
linen
Sister of the Inclination: lesbian
Snow Blindness. (from San Francisco, 1970) being dazzled by a
friend's newly dyed blond hair
Snow Queen: any non-white gay
man that pursues anglo men (also
known as Potato Queen)
Sticky Rice: two Asian men together
Sugar Daddy: (from ' 20s slang,
sugarmoney)anolderman, who
supports a younger ]over
Sweet I.eech: (dates the user) lesbian who sponges off her lover
Trade: non-reciprocal sex partner:
usually thinks they ' re straight

LESBIAN AND GAY COUPLES NEEDED!!
A lesbian and a gay male researcher at the University of
Maryland are conducting a gay-~ffirmative study of same-sex
couples. This will be the first maior study to look at the impact
of factors unique to the LGB identity process o~ same-sex
relationship functioning. It will also be the first maior study to
look at a racially ethnically diverse sample of same-sex couples.
We need your help in finding possible participants. If you or
anyone you know of might be willing to participate, _please
contact us or pass along this message. (Our contact mfo 1s
below.) What follows is information about participating in the
study:
People who participate must be in a relationship that has lasted
at least three months. Also, we are focusing on people who
identify (at least partially) as lesbian or gay (as opposed to
primarily identifying as bisexual). Both members ofeach couple
are sent questionnaires to complete. Questionnaires are returned separately in stamped return envelopes. All responses are
completely confidential and anonymous. We are eager to hear
from couples of a variety of ages, race/ethnicities, income levels,
communities, outlooks, etc.
When questionnaires are received from both partners of a
couple, they are automatically entered mto a louery to Will pnzes
from national and local LGB affirmative busmesses.
I would greatly appreciate any help that you could offer us in our
efforts. If you are in a relationship and would like to participate,
just e-mail me or Gianna Chang.
Jon Mohr;
e-mail: p-jmohr@bss3.umd.edu
phone:202/842-9706
Glenna Chang;
e-mail: gchang@deans.umd.edu
phone-. 202/842-9706

WANT SOME WORTHWHILE E•MAIL?
If you're like me, nothing can be more discouraging than
checking your email and finding nothing but a bunch of JUlik:
mail telling you how to get rich quick. How about some regular
mail that is worth reading and keeps you up to date on what's
happening in the world of interest to lesbigay people?
The way to do that is subscribe to a news-group or mailing list.
One of my favorites is put out by a guy right here in Connecticut;
and he offers three separate mailing lists : one on issues of samesex marriage, one on issues of spirituality and religion, and one
on youth issues. Each mailing is a collection of articles culled
from various newspapers and magazines around the country,
usually from on-line sources or other news-groups . They are
sent out BCC (blind copy) which means no one sees the e-mail
addresses of the other recipients. If you're interested, e-mail him
at CTFreedom@aol.com.
If you want lots of e-mail, my other favorite list is put out by a
pair of dedicated w?men in I<:>wa .. They send out up to_ 10 sets
of articles a day relatmg to lesb1gay issues : news _items, editonals,
theater reviews, letters to the editor, from maior metropolitan
papers and national magazines to college papers and small town
weeklys, in Hawaii and California and Iowa and Alabama and_
New York and all around the world. It's a real cross section ot
what society is thinking and saying about gay people. It takes
me about a half hour a day to get through 1t all, but it's
fascinating and well worth it. Their e-mail address _is:
Fenceberry@aol.com. Just write and ask to be put on their hst.
There's no charge for any of this, and it's all completely
confidential.
- Roger Hooverman

Reprinted in part from TWN,
March 19, 1997

Pages

T NEWS & VIEWS
CooL STUFF ONLINE FOR YouNGSTERS
A new Web site offers education and entertainment for lesbians, gay
men, bisexuals, transgender people and their children. Open Prairie
Syn_dicate, located at http://www.visi.com/-oprairie, is a Minneapolisbased collective that showcases cartoonists who work outside of the
mainstream press, including Alison Bechdel's Dykes to Watch out For
and Jennifer Camper's SubGURLZ
A new addition to the site is an online picture book for children with gay
and lesbian parents. "If the Sun Were Queer," written by Open Prairie
founder Joe Hoover, a political cartoonist whose work has been published in 23 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender publications nationwide, is inspired by the Sharon Bottoms case as well as other cases where
children have been taken away from parent's homes because of the
parent's sexual orientation.
Please thank Joe Hoover for his wonderful book and for making it
available to all via the Internet. It is appreciated and will certainly touch
the lives of children with gay and lesbian parents everywhere.
Contact: Joe Hoover, Open Prairie Syndicate, P.O. Box 8117, Minneapolis, MN, 55408; e-mail:
oprairie@visi.com.WWW:
http://www.visi.com/-oprairie/hoover/bookfbook.html
PARTNERS TASI< FORCE FOR GAY

&

LESBIAN

COUPLES
The latest items to be added to our extensive Web site for same-sex
couples:
1] Same-Sex Marriage Pride Day Project.
A great way to capture attention for legal marriage issues during
Pride Day parades.
2] Domestic Partner Benefit List compiled by the Lambda Legal
Defense and Education Fund. Updated as of February 1997.Can
be downloaded as a PDF paginated file.
Quick
Facts on Legal Marriage.
3]
Basics on the status of legal marriage for U.S . same-sex couples.
www.buddybuddy.com
"GET OVER IT -

ELLEN'S COMING

OUT-SO WHAT?"
Bob Harris, from the Sonoma County (CA) Independent
So Ellen is coming out. Why is this big news? We all know that both
Ellen DeGeneres - and her fictional, ABC-TV sitcom counterpart are gay. We've known it for a long time, even though Disney made the
poor girl hop in and out of the closet faster than Imelda Marcos in full
slipper frenzy. The media have buzzed for months with subtle clues
proving that Ellen Is a Lesbian the way a previous generation proved that
Paul Is Dead. (Which he still hasn't admitted. The wanker.)
The real news here isn't Ellen. It's us-no longer pretending that we
don't know.
We straights are all aware that gay people share our schools, homes, and
workplaces. But somehow a lot of us seem to hope that if we keep our
eyes closed, maybe they'll all just go_away.
When you're three years old, behaving like this is usually accompanied
by putting fingers in your ears and screaming "Mommeeeeee!" Psychologists call this a neurotic avoidance reaction, although the U.S.
military prefers the phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Opening your eyes,
however, reveals the obvious: Gays and bisexuals are and always have
been part of American life.
What would American culture be without the music of Cole Porter, the
poetry of Walt Whitman, and the plays of Tennessee Williams? What
would our history be without Susan B. Anthony and J. Edgar Hoover?
Ironically, what would our image of masculinity itself be without James
Dean, Rock Hudson, and Errol Flynn?

May 1997

Contrary to the parroted PR that passes for reporting, Ellen Morgan
isn't even the first gay title character on the network prime time. She's
just the first we've agreed to acknowledge. Sixteen years ago, Tony
Randall starred in NBC's "Love Sidney," a series adaptation of a TV
movie in which Sidney was openly gay. No one watched, and it went
off the air quietly. Sidney Shorr's sexuality remained largely unaddressed. As NBC entertainment president Brandon Tartikoff explained
at the time, "We have no plans of bringing it up, dealing with it, or
mentioning it." Or, more plainly: Mommeeeeee!
At least this was an improvement from the '70s, when Marcus Welby
"treated" a gay man by advising him not to talk about his "problem," to
stay in the closet, and to start seeing a psychiatrist!
It should not be a radical act for Ellen simply to be who she is. What's
the big deal anyway? Why do we have difficulty dealing with friends,
family, and even fictional characters whose preferences are never going
to intersect with our own bedrooms in any case?
A recent study published in the "Journal of Abnormal Psychology''
might have the answer. In the study, participants filled out personality
questionnaires before viewing a variety of erotic videos while wearing
"genital strain gauges" to measure their arousal. (This is actually true, I
swear. I think I went to the wrong college.)
Guess what? Turns out there's a striking, direct correlation between
homophobia and latent homoerotic impulses. The very folks who
revealed genuine fear or hostility toward gays on the written test were
consistently more stimulated by gay images than heterose>a1al ones.
Apparently, the myth is true: Homophobes really do have closets to
explore, or at least a desk drawer or two.
The rest of us are letting their ignorance influence us, for whatever
reason.
So perhaps we should cease talking about gays and lesbians "gaining"
mainstream acceptance, as if coexistence is entirely their responsibility.
Instead, let's just begin thinking honestly and compassionately about
our own motivations and phobias. I couldn't have been the only guy in
high school who pretended to laugh at gay-bashing jokes just so the
vicious ones wouldn't turn their venom on me.
Ellen isn't changing; she's just not pretending anymore. Neither should
the rest ofus.
TCC News continued

A

CORRECTION IS IN ORDER
Last month, my essay was edited for space reasons and as a result the
meaning of the last paragraph got somehow garbled. What I had said
was that in the four years of managing the database for the Center we,
as a community, had only lost two men to AIDS, the same number of
women who had died from naturalcauses. I'm not stupid- I know men
living with AIDS who for very good reasons have not made their HIV
status general knowledge. But in sheer numbers the extent to which
AIDS has ravaged the communities I have been in contact with and
know best is far from the 50% infection rate ofNew York City and San
Francisco or even the 33% rate of cities of Boston and Chicago.
Marianne Seggerman
METROLINE FOLDS
Mounting debt and dwindling income has forced the bi-weekly, Metroline
magazine to cease publication. The demise of this publication is a loss not
only for those directly involved with Metroline but for the entire gay and
lesbian community as well. It provided a wealth of regional information
for our community including feature and news articles, personals,
classified, organizational listings, housing, entertainment, etc., etc.
It will be sorely missed. Look in the June issue of News & Views for an
in depth article on the history of Metroline.
THE NORTHEAST CENTER FOR TRAUMA RECOVERY

will be sponsoring a gay men's therapy group. The focus of this group
will be on coming out issues, relationship issues, and other aspects of gay
life affecting men's lives. For more information contact Dave Walenozyk,
L,M.F.T. at 203-227-8331.
Page6

SPEAKUP!

ELLEN OuoTE

Reprinted from the Connecticut Post, April 5, 1997

You

CAN BE GAY AND

A

CHRISTIAN

I have followed the "bantering" back and forth in the Connecticut Post
letters column over the issue of homosexuality. Each one of us has the
right to our own thoughts and opinions concerning this issue. It is
unconscionable, however, for a person to misrepresent Christ, possibly
influencing others to believe that he knows what he is talking about. I
implore writer Joseph DeCaro to study Christ's life, words, and teachings.
He should read the Book he implies he knows, so well. I guarantee that
Jesus never even mentioned homosexuality.
Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7; 1), DeCaro must get his facts
straight. Using the Bible to support bigoted; ignorant opinion is a sin! Ask
Jesus what He thinks; I believe you'll be enlightened.
Not that I owe an explanation, but I am a born-again Christian. I have
studied God's word and believe in Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and
I am gay.
I will no longer sit back and cringe silently while people like DeCaro
"preach"
Barb Schade
Fairfield
News Worthy continued

MARVIN LIEBMAN DIES AT

73

Marvin Liebman, a one-time Communist turned conservative Reaganite
turned gay activist, writer and commentator, died of heart failure March
,,
30 in Washington, DC. He was 73 .
Many TCC members had a chance to meet and speak with Liebman and
hear his life story last October, when he was our guest at a special program
at the Triangle Community Center in Norwalk.
As a young man, Liebman served in the U.S. military in Africa and Italy
during World War II, but was discharged in 1944 as a homosexual and
denied all veteran benefits. In the years prior to and immediately following
World War II, he was an avid Communist. He worked in what was then
the Palestine underground to help build what was to become the state of
Israel.
Later he made an abrupt about face, became a leading anti-Communist
organizer and started a number of right-wing organizations. In 1968 he
worked on Ronald Reagan's first campaign for the Presidency. Liebman
then went to Washington and joined the "Reagan Revolution," working
with the National Endowment for the Arts. In between the Reagan
campaigns, he spent his time producing movies and theatrical productions
and _providing assistance to endeavors as diverse as William F. Buckley's
"Finng Line" and Father Bruce Ritter's Covenant House.
His life took another turn in 1990, when in the pages of the National
Review, a publication of his long-time friend William F. Buckley, Jr., he
came out publicly as a gay man.
In 1992 his autobiography, "Coming Our Conservative," was published.
(It's available for borrowing in the TCC Resource Room.) Then in 1995
he wrote a column for the Advocate in which he announced his independence from any labels, including Conservative, Christian, or Republican.
Toward the end of his life, he was actively devoting his time, talent and
energy to the American lesbian and gay community and a monthly
column, "Independently Speaking" arid to gay and lesbian publications
throughout the United States, including News & Views.

"I always thought I could keep my personal life separate from my
professional life. I mean, I really tried to figure out every way to
avoid answering that question for as long as I could ... . Now I feel
completely comfortable with myself and I don't have to be fearful
about something damaging my career if it gets out, because now
I'm in control ofit- sort of.. .. No one can hurt me now."
- Ellen DeGeneres, self-affirming lesbian, in a Time interview.

TRIVIA 0UESTION
ANSWER TO .APIHL

Richard Rodriguez, who in addition to giving
heartfelt essays on the Jim Lehrer News Hour
aboutCatl1Qlici.smJhisMexican-Arnericanheritage and•othertopics, writes. occasional essays
for magazines like Harpers and the Atlantic
Monthly.
0uESTION FOR. MAY

Because I could not sew" was the reason she
gave for not creating a Names Project Quilt
panel so instead she memorialized her late
brother, dead of AIDS, by writing a play about
a trip to Europe they never gotto take with each
other. Who is the playwr~h~?
w

OTHER AREA GROUPS AND
ORGANIZATIONS

Bare & Gay (B&G) gay nudists
Bisexually Curious Support Group Bpt
Chiltern Mountain Club
Connecticut Kids and Families
Connecticut Freedom to Marry Coalition
40-Up Club.(Social Grp.-call Dale before 10pm)
Gay Fathers Group
Gay Mens Association of Danbury
GEMS (Mature GLBT)
Guideline (gay/lesbian phone info)
Hartford Community Center
Married Men's Bisexual Suppt Grp Htfd
Metropolitan Community Church
The Loft, White Plains NY,
Triangle Bowling League
Triangle Kids

-RH
HERE's Mv

Two

CENTS!

Did you know that JCPenny has withdrawn their advertising dollars from
the sitcom "Ellen" because Ellen Morgan comes out as a lesbian? Want to
blast them for the pull-out? Visit their website at: http ://
www.jcpenney.com. Go to the area called "pushing the envelope," general
comments link, and fill in the blanks. You may want to compose and save
your comments before going to the web site, then just paste them into the
comment field. How about sending back cut up JC Penney charge cards,
as well?

May 1997

•

Western Connecticut Gay Men's Group

(860) 644-4305
(203) 264-5605
(203) 899-0270
(203) 256-8414
(203) 791-9553
(203) 261-4019
(203) 866- 7051
(203) 778-7016
(860) 688-1881
(203) 366-3734
(203) 724 5542
(203) 262-1555
(203) 389-6750
(914) 948-4922
(203) 931-8789
(203) 255-6229
(203) 323-6278
(203) 773-9947

We're glad to list your non-profit gay/lesbian/bi/cg group free of
charge. Call (203) 849-1508. Please keep us informed of changes.

Deadline for the June new,letter will be rriday 9
may. We cannot guarantee that material received
after that date will be included in June new,&View,.
Page 7

T NEWS & VIEWS
A

Mio-SPRINGS
NIGHTS DREAM

After I got Roger Hooverman's e-mail suggesting that I be
the new editor of News and Views I had a serious debate
with myself. And if you know me, you know that this is no
small feat. No matter how much I reasoned with myself I
still had this nebulous fear. In an effort to name it I analyzed
the most obvious possibilities. Was it my ability to do the
job? No ...... I knew I had the experience. After all, for two
years I had been editor of''Talking Triangles," the newsletter for the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian and Gay
Civil Rights. Was I afraid that my health wouldn't hold up.
No ..... my health was not a major concern. I felt that, with
help, I could make it a mostly-done-from-my-home job.
What then, still gave me the heebie jeebies? I decided to
sleep on it. Lo, that very night I had a dream. In the dream
I was being chased by the dreaded Giant Vacuum Fairy.
Humming and whirring, it was closing in on me; trying to
suck me in! I tried to nin but to no avail. Looking at my feet
I saw that my shoes were at least ten sizes too big. All I
could do was slosh around in them. The Giant Vacuum
Fairy whirred closer and closer ..... always with that relentless hum. Just as it was about to swallow me up, I
recognized the hum for what it was. It was a song ..... a song
from my distant past! I awoke with a start. "Golly," I
exclaimed. ''That song. I know that song. Its 'Happy Trails
to You!' The Giant Vacuum Fairy was humming 'Happy
Trails to You!"'
Suddenly, my fear had a name and that name was Roger
Hooverman! (All right, so my dreams lack a certain
subtly.) Yes! I was terrified at the thought of trying to fill
Hooverman's shoes. "How can I ever be as good an editor
as he?" I moaned. ''Woe is me. Woe is me," I cried, beating
my breasts (Ouch!). This kind of behavior continued until
my wailing time was used up. I found my moaning so
exhausting that I fell asleep. Yes, I had another dream. Just
like before, the Giant Vacuum Fairy was corning after me
and just like before it was trying to suck me in! But this time
I had a weapon. Turning quickly, I threw several lit joints
in the direction of the whirring and humming, bellowing
defiantly, ''Here you Giant Vacuum Fairy. Suck on these!"
Well, I don't need to tell you what happened next. After a
few moments the Giant Vacuum Fairy was as Stoned as
Stoned can be. Its whirring and humming turned to
uncontrolled tittering and twittering. It turned on its little
Stoned wheels and headed for the refrigerator. I awoke
bursting with joy! ''I'm not alone here, I cried." I have John
Del Vecchio & David Dey to help me. And besides, all I
have to do is be the best editor I can be. So maybe I can
never be a Roger Hooverman. But then again, if I can
never be a Roger Hooverman I can never be a Giant
Vacuum Fairy either.

REell'ii

lOFUSOUP
VEGETAhlE

c:ookiNG

WATER

1OR2lEAfyGREEN VEGETAbles ( ESCARolE, spiNACH)
1OR 2 orkER VEGETAbles ( MushaooM sTEMs, ,GREEN
bEANS, ETC.)
fResh fiRM Tofu.,
GROCERY OR

2

lARGE cAkes fRoM Cl-tiNESE

1 pkq. cut h'4TO 11'

slicEs

8RiNq VEGETAblE WATER ro A boil.

Daop iN fiRsT

GREEN VEGETAhlE. CoVER ANd TURN off kEAT. RE,.
MOVE VEG£TAble FROM WATER wkEN soh. REPEAT
paoceduae wiTH odtER VEGETAblEs EXCEPT MUSH-ROOMS.

Tliey should bE cooked AITER rhE rofu.

AfrER All VE(iETAblEs ARE cooked bRiNG WATER To
A siMMER.

DROP iN tofu} slicEs AT A Ti ME. SIMMER

foR AbouT ~ MiNUTES. PlAcE ON mpof VEGETAbLEs.
PouR lehovER WATER OVER rofu. SeRVEWiTH RicE.

PLAN A FABULOUS PARTY
CENTER FoRUM is plEASEd AS puNcH TO ANNOUNCE
THAT ONT uEsdAy NiqHT MAy 20TH JAck MillER ANd
Todd MERRill, pARTY plANNERS EXTRAdiNAiRE ANd
co,owNERS of THE UNivERsAl GRill, A populAR
VillAqE RESTAURANT, will GRACE us wiTH THEiR
PRESENCE ANd wisdoM STARTiNq AROUNd 7:"jO isH.
LEARN THEiR SECRETS TO MEMORAblE pARTiES (A
smAiqHT fEMAlE fRiENd williNq TO loviNqly slAvE
OVERCONSTRUCTiNq THEclEVER iNViTATiONS is ONE}.
THE couplE {iN REAl lifE? NOT SURE ... SOMEONE
sHould MAkE A poiNT TO pRy) ARE THE pRoud
AUTHORS of "FAbulous PARTiEs" A copy of wHicH
THEY HAVE AlREAdy doNATEd TO THE T RiANqlE CoM,..
MUNiTy CENTER.

LEARN HOW TO THROW pARTiES

wiTH cl.Ass ANd AbANdoN, wiTH vicTuAls MORE

-Michele Stone

widE--RANqiNq THAN MOTHER--iN--IAw ouicHE (Al...
THOUGH THAT WAS dElicious, PETER) OR iNTERMi,..

TCC

P-FLAG SCHEDULE OF MEETINGS AT
"Big" Monthly Meeting: Every 1st Wednesday, 7:45

NAhlE VARiATioNs of pASTA sAlAd.

Spouses and Ex Spouses group: Every 3rd Thursday, 7:30

May 1997

Page8

Property of the Cent<:!r

T NEWS & VIEWS
NICHOLAS LANG, MS, NCC
Counseling & Psychotherapy Services
Specializing in Sexual Orientation,
Loss, Relationship, & HIV-related Issues.
New Haven Office
200 Orchard St.
789-0560, Ext. 4

Wilton Office
387 Danbury Road
761-8825

Horticultural Botanist
Gardener & House I Pet Sitter
Donald J. Comes
(203) 866-2823
~

30 TI.erney Street

Norwalk, CT 06851

TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INC.
P.O.BOX 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855
Tel/Fax: (203) 853-0600
e-mail TCCenter@aol.com
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
DON BUXTON ... ... ....................... .. President
DAVE CARROLL ........................... Vice-President
BARB SCHADE .... ................ ... ....... Treasurer
LEN HOREY ............... ... .......... ....... Corresponding Secretary
DA VE CARROLL ........................... Acting Recording Sec'y
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
DON BUXTON
LEN HOREY
DAYID CARROLL
JOHN DEL VECCHIO
BARB SCHADE
STANDING COMMITTEES
AIDS Liaison
Tom M
Board Development
Vacant
Communications
John D
-Public Relations
Mike C
Finance
Doug N
Fundraising/Sp Events
Michael P
Membership
Vacant
-Member Database
Marianne S
Operations
Cindy M
(and to schedule events at the Center)
Program
Dave C
-Resource Room
Walter D
-Center Forums
Marianne S
Volunteer
Meg B & Justine M

374-6934
334-3822
375-3567
838-2367
866-6993
222-8294
595-9799
838-1881
374-6934
222-8294
375-9020

9{,'E'WS & 'V1'E'WS

MlD-TA1RT1£LD
AlDS 1'ROJ£CT
S£RV1l-4G TH£ l-4££1)S Of
TH£ H1V/ AIDS COMMVNlTV 1N:
NORWALK
WESTPORT
N£WCANAAN
W1LTQN
W£STQN
&£ASTON
l'ROVJDING CLIENT SERV1C-£S AND ADVOCACY

MID-f'Al'Rfl£LO AIDS MtOJ£CT
u.RIVERST.

NORWALK, CT ~10
PHONE: (loJ) 111·9JJ1
f AX: (203) 111-1n,
1NT£RN£T: kfft>://www.mfAp.com
£-MAil: mfo@mfap.com
May 1997

Is published monthly by
Triangle Community Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855.
NEWS & VIEWS encourages its readers to submit materials of interest
to our community, including short articles, letters to the editor, etc. We
cannot respond to, or publish, anonymous letters. We reserve the right
to edit or condense as appropriate to meet space requirements. Authors
will be contacted if major revisions are necessary. Please submit to :

NEWS&VIEWS
Michele Stone: Editor & Adv. Mgr.
P.O. Box 8185
Stamford, CT 06905
Phone 316-0333 Fax 964-1133
e-mail: NewsViews2@aol.com

John Delvecchio: Asst Editor
Phone: 203-334-3822
Mike Collins: Publicity
Phone: 203-375-3567

FOR ADVERTISING RATES CONTACT MICHELE STONE:
Ads must be camera-ready. If your ad is not camera
ready or you need help with its layout or design,
contact Michele Stone BEFORE submission. Inserts
and special sizes upon prior agreement. All ads are
placed on a space available basis.
The publication of the name of any person or organization in articles or
advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS is not to be construed as any indication of
the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such organizations.
The appearance of advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS does not imply nor
constitute endorsement by TCC,Inc.
Copyright 1997 by Triangle Community Center, Inc. All rights reserved. This
work, or any parts thereof, may not beused or reproduced in any manner without
written permission.

Page9

The Norwalk Health Department
In cooperation with

~nnouncement

Triangle Community Center
STAMFORD RELIGIOUS SCIENCE CENTER
FOR DYNAMIC LIVING

Proudly Announces
HIV Counseling & Testing Services
Commencing:
February 11, 1997

Sunday Experience 1st and 3rd Sundays, 11 :00 am Tara
Stamford Hotel, 2701 Summer St., Stamford. For information call Linda A. Bardes, Director, (203) 975-5267 .
Information pack available

From 3:30 - 6:30 p.m.
25 Van Zant Street

PAUL D. SCHNEIDER
For Information and an Appointment

Attorney at Law
POBox451
Soubtport, CT 06490-0451
203/255-5520

Please cal/ 855-7979 or 854-7779

NO WALK-INS
(to ensure anonymity and confidentiality)

Adoption
Child Custody Divorce
Partilersliip Agreements

Counselor Karen Gorman, MSW
(Family Therapist)

Our Families Matter

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Page JO

T NEWS & VIEWS
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Individual / Couples / Group
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Page JI

T NEWS & VIEWS
Maria C. Castillo, MSW, LCSW

GAY MEN'S GROUP
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May 1997

Page 12

Property of the Center

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WHERE ARE WE? The Triangle Community Center Inc. is located at 25 Van Zant Street in Norwalk.
From 1-95, take Exit 16 and go south (from Stamford, turn right; from New Haven, turn left). Continue
south under the railroad bridge and turn right on Van Zant St. (Route 136). 25 Van Zant is a large
condominium office building on the right. TCC is in Suite 7-C on the ground floor, Tel. (203) 853-0600.
May 1997

Page 13

T ~EWS & VIEWS
Calendar
Sun
Apr;n
AA9-10am
OutSpoken 4-6

May, 1997

....

Women's Rap 7:30 .

4
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6
Sunday at Center

15
Women's Rap 7:30

11
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6

112
Women's Rap 7:30

118
AA 9-10 am
Outspoken 4-6

119

25
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6

126
Women's Rap 7:30

!June 1
12
AA9-10am
Women's Rap 7:30
OutSpoken 4-6
Queens, NY Pride
March & Festival 12:30

Wed

lj

"EDen" ABC TV

40+ Women 7-9
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Women's Chorus,
Hamden8pm

Les Ballets, New Haven
8:00
Women's Chorus,
Hartford 8pm

I

I~

I\/

IIU

P-FLAG7:45

Men's Rap 7:30

N&VDeadline
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Out & About 7-8pm

HIV Couns 3:30-6:30

16
HIV Couns 3:30-6:30
Lesbian Lit Grp 7:30

Mens' Rap 7:30
P-FLAG Spouses & Exspouses 7: 30

Ill

Ill

Center Forum, Fabulous
Parties 7:30
HN Couns 3:30-6:30
Fundraisinly'Spec Events
Comm7:30

HNCouns 3:30-6:30

13
IDV Couns 3:30-6:30
Lesbian Lit Grp 7:30

1.co

ll\l

Bi Rap Grp 7:30
TCC Board 7:30

13

P-FLAG 7:45

DIRECTORY

A.A. - Don 762-9964
Bi Rap Group - Peter 838-2806;Robin 358-8391
Connecticut Business Guild - 225-6464
40+ Womens Group - Judy 227-5566
Free Association of Fairfield County - John 268-8858 x304
Gay Men's Rap Group- Dave 838-1881; John 926-8971
Gmosaic (People of Color) - not currently active call TCC 853-0600
Lesbian Literature Reading Group - Christine, 847-8476
Out & About (Gen.X Group) - Jen 736-6417 or Dan 838-2367
Outspoken (Youth) - Barb 259-8171; Dan 227-1755;
Doug 838-2367
Political Action Group - Michele, 43~-4465; Charlie, 226-8652
P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays) Joan 544-8724; Lester 322-5380; Belinda 855-1203
P-FLAG Spouses & Ex Spouses Group - Joan 544-8724
Triangle Bowling League (Circle Lanes, Fairfield) - Lisa 3333113; Roseann931-8789
Women's Rap Group - Linda 866-4598; Charlie 226-8652
All meetings are held at the Center and in the evening unless
otherwise noted . A $3 donation per person is appreciated with
your participation in activities to help support the Center.

Men's Rap 7:30

T

I'/

"Who is Protecting Our
Rights?" Panel
discussion, TCC l 0-1 pm

l .l4

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Out & About 7-8pm

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes

131
CT Gay Men's Chorus,
Oakdale Theater,
Wallingford 8:30pm

16

17

!JV

Men's Rap 7:30

14

JO

40+ Women 7-9
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
TCC Friendraiser,
Damian & Len's in
Shelton see article
llj

Men's Rap 7:30

GROUPS MEETING AT OR SPONSORED BY TCC

May 1997

ID

14

HNCouns 3:30-6:30
Bi Rap Grp 7:30
Political Action Grp 7:30 TCC Board 7:30

ILi

Sat

Fri
1.c

:..v

(j

Thu
,.....y,
Men's Rap 7:30
Oral Hi story 7: 30

1-':0

'.lV

Women's Rap 7:30 see
article

TELEPHONE

Tues

Mon

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes

MEMBERSHIP FORM

MEMBERSHIP LISTS ARE CONFIDENTIAL
NAME _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

ADDRESS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - CITY - - - - - - - - STATE - - - - Z I P - - - PHONE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

CONTRIBUTING MEMBER
CONTRIBUTING HOUSEHOLD
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SPONSORING MEMBER
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PLEASE MAKE CHECK PAYABLE TO :

P.O. Box 4062
06855 ATTN: MEMBERSHIP
(203) 853-0600

TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INc.
EAST NORWALK, CT

Page 14



Property of the Center

Triangle Community Center

T R

A N

G

News&V~ws

Vol.8, No.5
May 1997

Free to Members and Subscribers

MANY HEARTS • • •

ONE COMMUNITY

WHATS HAPPENING IN MAY & JU
WED,APR30

Ellen Morgan" comes out, whew! 9:30pm, ABC-TV.

FRI,MAY2

Another Octave, the Connecticut Women's Chorus presents Music in My Mothers
House, Unitarian Society of New Haven, Harnden, 8pm.

SAT,MAY3

Another Octave, the Connecticut Women's Chorus presents Music in My Mothers
House, Community Center, Hartford, 8pm.

SAT,MAY3

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo at the Shubert Theater, New Haven, 8pm. Call
Box office or Protix at 1-800-955-5566.

FRI, MAY 16

TCC Friend raiser, at the home of Damian and Len in Shelton, 6-9pm. See article for
directions.

SAT, MAY 17

"Who is Protecting Our Rights?", panel discussion at TCC, 10-lpm. See article for
details.

TUE,MAY20

Center Forum, How to Plan a Fabulous Party, Jack Miller and Todd Merril, Party Planners
Extradinaire, 7:30ish at the center.

SAT, MAY 31

CT Gay Men's Chorus reprises The Hat Ball, the "Prom Night of your Dreams ... with
fifty fabulous men and their eighty-three dancing feet." 8:30, Oakdale Theater, Wallingford.
Info 1-800-644-CGMC.

SUN,JUNE 1

Queens NY Lesbian & Gay Pride March & Multicultural Festival, starts at 12:30pm
at 37th Ave & marches from 89th St. to 75th St. in Jackson Hgts. Info (718) 997-6778.

SAT,JUNE 21

Connecticut Pride in Hartford. Watch for more info .

SUN,JUNE 22

TCC Pride Friendraiser and Back-yard Barbecue - at Meg & Justine's home in
Stratford, 3-6pm. Save the date!

SUN,JUNE 29

Annual New York City Pride_Parade. Watch for more info.

For the latest update on What's Happening in the area check our TCC home page on the internet.

http://members.aol.com/tccenter

BROOKFIELD AREA GROUP
RALLIES TO HELP TEACHER
A group of Brookfield, CT residents has started a legal fund to help a
retired Brookfield High School teacher in her lawsuit against a couple
who accused her of"recruiting" youth to homosexuality.
Veronic~ Berrill,_ a form~r English teacher and the mother of a gay man,
had part1C1pated 111 the high school's "safe wnes" program, where certain
classrooms are marked with pink triangles and designated safe places
where students can talk about their sexuality with understanding teachers. A Brookfield couple, Neal and Katie Houde, objected to the
program, and publicly accused Mrs. Berrill of pursuing a "homosexual
agenda" and engaging in "homosexual recruiting." She responded by
bringing a lawsuit against them for damaging her personal and professional reputation, as well as emotional distress. While this was all going
on, her husband, Jack Berrill, died of cancer at age 72.
In January, the Houdes brought in the Family Institute of Connecticut
and the Virginia-Based American Center for Law and Justice, founded
by Rev. Pat Robertson, to support them . The Center issued a statement
expressing horror that Brookfield students were being taught that
actually "homosexual conduct ... is not only a viable alternative lifestyle,
but is actual equal to heterosexual relationships."
The Danbury and Brookfield papers have given substantial coverage to
both sides of the controversy, including statements by students and
teachers supporting the safe zones program and statements by local

May 1997

pastors and counselors who claim they can help gay people turn
straight. Now friends of Mrs. Berrill have formed a group called the
Committee for the Defense of Classroom Tolerance.
"Veronica Berrill is carrying the load all by herself and she needs
support," said the group's spokesman, Ted LaBonne. He added that
the group's goal is to defend tolerance in all classrooms, not specifically
Berrill's case. A second group has since formed that is circulating a
petition on support of the safe zones and sex education programs in the
school.
Anyone wishing more information or wanting to add their support can
call Ted LaBonne at (203) 743-5552. The Committee can also be
reached by email at GLAofCT@aol.com.
- Roger Hooverman

THE BROOl(FIELD HIGH LETTERS
Reprinted from the Danbury News-Times, March 28, 1997

In the coverage of the safe wnes controversy, The News-Times ran a
transcript of a 1993 talk on being gay that I gave to a group of high
school teachers and peer counselors at my alma mater, Brookfield
High. As a former delivery boy for The News-Times, I never would
have imagined that one day your newspaper would quote me - and
misquote me - so extensively.
Disregarding repeated advance warnings to The News-Times that
there were numerous errors in the transcript, you published it anyway
and failed to advise readers of its source - N ea! and Kathleen H oude the very persons whom my mother, Veronica Berri!, is suing for false
and defamatory charges against her in connection with her participation as a teacher in Brookfield High's safe zones program.

Pagel

T NEWS & VIEWS
There are too many errors to recount, but the following are a few
examples; I'm quoted as saying homophobia is a weapon of "sexes,"
when I said "sexism." When I discuss the religious denominations that
ordain openly gay clergy, the "Union of American Hebrew Congregations" became the "Union of American People congregations" (sic),
"Staying in the closet'' was changed to "taking classes," "rare exceptional" became "rare examples." Discharges oflesbians by the military
"are two to three times greater than discharges of gay men," was
changed to "two to three times favorable to gay men." And so on, ad
nauseam.
These and other errors muddled the talk, and made it confusing to
follow. Having been warned in advance that there were numerous
mistakes, The New-Times should have contacted me to check for
accuracy. Doing so would have been easy, not to mention respectful.
And it was the least I deserved, especially since you invited your readers
to judge the appropriateness of my presentation.
Kevin Berrill
WASHINGTON D .C.
I read with interest the Sunday, March 16 articles on homosexuality,
including the two full pages, B6 and B7, given to Kevin Berrill, a
homosexual. I am patiently waiting to see when two whole newspaper
pages will be given to someone who has come out of the homosexual
lifestyle. Teachers, counselors and students could ask questions, as was
done in Mr. Berrill's talk. I'm sure Dr. Bill Consiglio, who was
mentioned on Page Al, could give you the name of a former homosexual.
In the interest of journalistic fairness, another article should be presented.
Mr. Berrill seems to think that the homosexual lifestyle is normal. One
has only to consider the design of the human anatomy- male and female
- to know what normal is. It's pretty obvious that the male sex organ was
created for the female vagina. I don't see how anyone can argue
otherwise. Maybe we need more plain old anatomy lessons in the
schools.
Claire Siebert
NEW FAIRFIELD
It is sad that the Houdes are spending so much energy to impose their
will on the rest of society. To see two adults so disturbed over someone
else's sexual orientation is frankly bizarre, if not a little kinky. I'd like to
ask N ea! Houde to explain exactly how he is being personally harmed by
homosexuality? Or by young adults discussing homosexuality? He
never once claims to have been damaged by gays in any way and he
admits to pursuing this whole ugly affair because his religion is anti-gay
and he's offended by the "gay lifestyle."
I was raised Catholic and this sort of non-Christian rejection of so many
of God's children is one of the reasons I left the church. When Jesus told
us to love our neighbors, I believe he meant all of them, not just the ones
we approve of.
The Houdes are offended by gays? I'm more offended by narrowminded bigots who insist on forcing everyone to conform to their views.
Human homosexuality has been around ever since human beings
evolved. Homosexual behaviors are found in all the primates, as well as
countless other animal species. If God Almighty created homosexuality,
who are the Houdes to argue with him?
The faculty and staffofBrookfield High School should be applauded for
creating the safe zones, and for trying to raise everyone's consciousness
regarding sexual orientation. Gay-bashing is directly fueled by attitudes
like the Houdes'. High schools are dangerous places to be gay precisely
because homophobic parents continue to teach their children that gays
are second-class citizens and worthy targets of abuse.
I hope the Houdes find a way to contribute to their community in a more
positive way and cease these attacks on people who don't match their
narrow definition of normal.
Richard White
RIDGEFIELD

May 1997

Congratulations to the Houdes for speaking out against the perversion
that's called the gay lifestyle. Just when society should be demanding
accountability, legally, from the gay cult for spreading AIDS, pedophilia
and generally degrading behavior, they've become politically correct.
Why? Because a society based on condoms and contraceptives must
defend any sexual act or admit it's lying. All contraceptive sex is a lie
because it separates sex from procreation and the marriage bond for
which it is intended.
Fairfield County is supposedly largely Catholic. It is the duty of bishops
and priests to make sure the faithful are catechized truthfully, especially
today in the areas of church-state relationshifs and sexual morality. The
past failure to preach on the sinfulness o contraception led to the
acceptance of all sexual deviation and "tolerance" of murder abortion.
Jesus wants to heal homosexuals not condemn them, but homosexuals
and lesbians condemn themselves by carrying out their disordered
inclinations. It is not charity to condone evil.
Please read the letter "Nondiscrimination Against Homosexual Persons" by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Selectively,
Nos. 10 and 11 state: "Sexual orientation does not constitute a quality
comparable to race, ethnic background, etc., in respect to nondiscrimination. Unlike these, homosexual orientation is an objective disorder
and evokes moral concern.
''There are areas where it is not unjust discrimination to take sexual
orientation into account, for example, in the placement of children for
adoption or foster care; in employment of teachers or athletic coaches
and in military recruitment."
I hope all Christians, Orthodox Jews, Moslems and concerned citizens
will oppose the homosexual agenda and state sex education.
Michael Sheehan
DANBURY

Reprinted from the Danbury News Times, March 29, 1997.
While I appreciate that your paper has been willing to tackle the complex
and controversial subject of gay and lesbian youth, it makes me sad - and
more than a little angry - that so much myth and misinformation are
being bandied about regarding the creation ofsafe zones for lesbian, gay
and bisexual youth in school.
As the founder and executive director of Children From the Shadows
(where the concept of safe zones was first introduced in Connecticut),
I feel competent to provide an accurate working definition of the
concept.
Here's what a "safe zone" is: It is a place where all students can feel safe
and respected regardless of their orientation. A safe zone is a class~oom,
a library, a guidance office - or even a hallway-where a clear and entorced
policy prohibits "hate language." Words that attack an individual on the
basis of his or her race, ethnicity, gender, religion or sexual orientation
are not tolerated.
Here's what a safe zone is not: A special place designed to provide special
rights to sexual minority youth, (Did you ever notice how basic human
rights are considered "special rights" whenever they are demanded by
anyone not of the dominant culture?)
I admire and respect the faculty, administration and staff of Brookfield
High School - and obviously, Veronica Berrill - for the courageous stand
they have taken in the face of continued (and often inaccurate) attacks.
What they are doing is making a difference not only in the lives oflesbian,
gay and bisexual children and their families, but in our society as a whole.
Prejudice hurts everyone - those who espouse it and those who are
targeted. Justice, tolerance and standing up for what is right makes all
of us better human beings. In the light of understanding, shadows
disappear.
Robin M. Passariello
Executive Director
Children From the Shadows
MIDDLETOWN

Pagel

T ~EW5 & VIEWS
TCCNEWS
NEW BOARD MEMBERS
At the April 9 meeting ofTCC's Board of Directors, new officers were elected
to replace the positions vacated by Roger Hooverman, Tom Miraconda and
Marianne Seggertnan. The list of officers now reads:
Don Buxton
Dave Carroll
Barb Schade
Len Horey
Dave Carroll

President
Vice-President
Treasurer
Corresponding Secretary
Acting Recording Secretary

Five board positions are still open. Why not apply? It takes just four hours a
month ofyour time. And unless you work for Arthur Murray, you're dance card
can't be that full.

SPLINTERS FROM THE BOARD
WHAT DOES THE BOARD DO?
by Len Horey, TCC Corresponding Secretary

In case you didn't notice, my name magically reappeared on the list of the board
of directors a couple of months ago. That's because after a year of retirement,
I decided to rejoin the board for one more year. Why would I do something
like that? That's a good question. One that Pm still asking myself. But the
answer may be contained in the list of the board of directors. As of April there
are only five people on the board. That's enough to run the Center but just
barely. Despite all of our efforts, we have been unable to attract more people
to the board.
I can understand why it is difficult to attract people to the board. Many people
are unsure of exactly what the board does. Some imagine that serving on the
board will require huge amounts of their time and requires skills that they lack.
It isn't like that at all.
The board of directors runs the Center. In many respects it is just like the other
committees such as Fundraising or Communications. The board meets on a
regular basis and handles the business of the Center. It is the job of the board
to see that the bills get paid and to decide on things which will affect the Center.
Occasionally those decisions are very important (such as the decision to move
the Center to its present location several years ago), but usually they are simple
decisions (such as, do we want to advertise an upcoming gay related event or
can a particular group use the Center for its meetings). All of the committees
report to the board and the board serves as the interface between the committees. You might think that you have to be a business expert to be on the board.
There is really no need for that. Pm an electrical engineer (yes, there are gay
engineers) and I have no formal business training. Yet, I have never felt
overwhelmed by being on the board. Center business simply isn't that
complicated. Most of it is just common sense. When we do come across
something that is beyond us we get the advice of an expert before making a
decision. The board currently meets twice a month and the meetings are usually
less than two hours long. Board members must be members of the Center, but
we no longer require board members to raise or contribute additional money
to the Center. That was important during the early years of the Center, but
today the Center is financially sound. What we need today are more volunteers
to help fill our committees (including the board).
Joining the board gives you an opportunity to help determine the future of the
Center. If you have ever said "why doesn't the Center. . ." this is a perfect way
to have your voice be heard. I have heard that some women don't want to join
the board because they feel that the Center is run by men. If the Center is run
by men (actually four men and one woman) it is only because we don't have
more women on the board. Our by-laws say that we are supposed to have
gender parity on the board, but we can't have it unless more women join the
board. If you feel that women are under represented at the Center then join the
board and change that. I would really like to have our next president be a
woman, but it can only happen if we get more women to join the board.
I hope that I have given you some idea of what the TCC board does and why
you should consider joining it. Ifyou think that you would like to join the board,
give me (Len) a call at 925-0366.

May 1997

MAY FRIENDRAISER
AT DAMIAN

&

LEN'S IN SHELTON

Our nextTCC friendraiser will be Friday, May 16, 6-9 pm, at the
home of Damian and Len in Shelton. Food will be provided;
BYOB. The usual donation will be requested: $8 members, $10
non-members, more if you can, less if you can't.
Directions: From 195 northbound, take to Exit 27A (Route 25
and Route 8). Continue on the highway until the road splits.
Bear to the right (Route 8) and take the first exit after the highway
splits (Exit 8 - Route 108). At the end of the exit ramp make a left.
Continue to the traffic light and make a left at the light onto Route
108 north. Continue on 108 to a stop sign. Continue on 108
north approximately 3 miles from stop sign and make next right
onto Bayberry Lane. Continue on Bayberry Lane until it ends and
make left onto Mulberry Lane. The house is #25 on the right
(gray house).
From Merrit Parkway northbound, to Exit 51. At the end of exit
ramp make a left at the light onto Route 108 north. Continue on
108 to a stop sign. Continue on 108 north approximately 3 miles
from the stop sign and make the next right onto Bayberry Lane.
Continue on Bayberry lane until it ends and make a left onto
Mulberry lane. The house is #25 on the right (gray house). If you
need more information or get lost, call 925-0366.
LESBIAN LITERATURE GROUP
For its June 3rd meeting, the Lesbian Literature Group has
chosen "Chicana Lesbians (The Girls Our Mothers Warned Us
About)" by Carla Trujllo and is published by 3rd Woman Press.
Not one to mince words, Meg Bachtel provides us with her
synopsis of the book. It is she says, "an anthology of short stories
and poetry by chicana lesbians."
The literature group meets at the Center the first Tuesday ofevery
month at 7: 30 pm. Copies of"Chicana Lesbians" are available at
Bloodroot (203) 576-9168. For more information please call
Christine (203) 847-8476.
SPEAKING OUT FOR OUTSPOKEN
OutSpoken, the youth support group here at TCC, has entered
its fourth year! Over 350 gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and
questioning young people have visited our group. We meet every
Sunday from 4-6pm. We talk about what ever is on our minds :
fitting in at school, dealing with parents, handling relationships,
learning to accept ourselves and others. We talk about movies,
music, and "is Ellen finally going to come out?!?" We laugh. We
support each other. OutSpoken is a "safe place" for young people
to communicate and share their feelings. Some members are
struggling with issues of sexuality. Others are already very
comfortable. One of the greatest joys of working with these
extraordinary people is watching a newcomer to the group realize
that she/he is not alone. Many scared, withdrawn youths have
come to this group only to blossom into self assured, happier
people. We are going to start collecting some of their stories.
Stay tuned to the newsletter!
-Dan Kelly
WoRD' s OuT AaouT "OuT AND AaouT"
"Out and About'' is new here at the center. It is a group for both
women and men age 21-35ish. Members of OutSpoken, the
youth group, that were getting more or less too old for those
meetings, started it. It meets from 7-8pm on the second and
fourth Fridays of the month. But sometimes, it keeps rolling!
Whoever wants to can hang in there. The group has in the past
gone off to the diner, movies, bowling, or dancing till I am . It's
a relaxed, comfortable way for young people, many new to the
area, to make new friends in the gay community.
-Dan Kelly

TCC News Continued on Page 6

Page3

T NEWS & VIEWS
NEWS WORTHY
CT SCHOOL ANTI-HARASSMENT BILL
VOTED OUT OF EDUCATION
COMMITTEE
The education committee of the CT legislature voted out SBI 121 which
includes a section prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation in
public schools (K-12). During discussion on the bill Rep. Elaine Hammers, R
123-Trumbull, introduced a motion to strike this section from the bill. Her
motion was seconded by Rep. Christopher Scalw, R 111-Ridgefield. Rep.
Pamela Sawyer, R 55-Bolton, also spoke against this section. Co-Chairs of the
committee, Sen.Tom Gaffey, D 13-Meriden and Rep. Cam Staples, D 96-New
Haven both spoke in favor of the section. Rep. Art Feltman, D 6-Hartford, the
only openly gay legislator, spoke about the importance of this section in order
to provide safety for our kids in school as did Rep. Richard Veltri, R 9-East
Hartford. The motion was defeated by a voice vote and the full bill was voted
out of committee. "We are extremely pleased that this bill came out of
committee and we are looking forward to its passage in the Senate and then the
House," said Jeff Carstens, Co-Chair of SANE ( Safe and Affirming Network
for Education) the political action arm ofGLSTN CT. The bill will go to the
Senate first so people are urged to contact their Senator and then their
Representative for their support of the bill. For further information contact
Carolyn Gabel, CT Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil
Rights (860-521-4710 or CGFEMINIST@AOL.COM) .

STATEWIDE CIVIL RIGHTS COALITION
FIGHTS ON
The Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil
Rights is a statewide organization that has recently reorganized to protect and
strengthen our civil rights. Expanding the vision of the old statewide coalition
that successfully fought for passage of our gay rights bill, the new coalition has
added "bisexual and transgender" to our name, in order to be more inclusive of
our entire community. Our goals are to work at the state legislature as well as
with our Connecticut members of Congress. This year's agenda includes
support for legislation insuring protection against discrimination in schools,
equal access to the courts for discriminatory cases; domestic partnership
benefits; adequate funding and services for our health needs, including HIV/
AIDS and breast cancer. We are also working to protect our community against
anti-gay proposals, especially efforts to enact laws prohibiting same gender
marriage and efforts to amend our gay rights law to allow discriminatory
military recruiters on state campuses.
The Coalition (CCLGBTCR) has organized a steering committee of representatives from each of the six congressional districts in Connecticut. Steering
Committee members have been meeting monthly at the Lesbian and Gay
Community Center In New Haven. In some congressional districts, we have
organized meetings with state legislators in people's homes or in other settings,
in order to familiarize them with our concerns and issues. We have held meetings
with Speaker of the House Tom Ritter, and with Senate Majority Leader George
Jepsen, both of whom have committed their support to our rights.
In addition, we have also organized the Connecticut Stonewall Congress, as a
forum for all types of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender groups; In
C01mecticut to meet together and share information. The Stonewall Congress
is not political in nature. Meetings have been held several times per year, usually
at Wesleyan University in Middletown, to have presenters address a topic of
interest. Time is always set aside for groups to make announcements and share
information with each other. The next Stonewall Congress event is being
pla1med for next fall. Also, look for us at Gay Pride in Hartford!
These two organizations are vital and growing, because we need to stay In touch
and work together. As you can see from the announcement in this newsletter,
the Stonewall Congress, the Coalition, the local chapter of PFLAG and the
Triangle Community Center are jointly sponsoring a panel discussion on Sat,
May 17, from 10-lpm, atTCC, entitled "Who is Protecting Our Rightsi" We
hope you will join us!
We need members to join the Connecticut Coalition so that we can be stronger!
Dues, are only $5 - please send a check, your name and address, phone (e-mail
and fax, if you have one) to: Paul Hartung, 31 Woodland Street, 2A, Hartford,
C106105-4302. Thanks!
-Leslie Brett & Carolyn Gabel

May 1997

AIR SUPPORT
American Airlines is a major sponsor to and supporter of groups
like GLADD, the Human Rights Campaign, the Gay and
Lesbian Victory Fund, the AIDS Action Foundation, DIFFA,
AMFAR, and scores of community-based groups representing
gays and lesbians. It is also the first airline to adopt a written nondiscrimination policy covering sexual orientation in its employment practices. The airline is also well represented by the
leadership ofits gay and lesbian employee group, GLEAM. For
these pioneering efforts, and its sales and marketing outreach to
the gay and lesbian traveler, American has become the next bull's
eye for hard-hitting, anti-gay corporate attacks.
'Y
THE PROBLEM: An unusual joint letter was released to
the media on Friday, March 14th from the Family Research
Council, Concerned Women of America, American Family
Association and Coral Ridge Ministries. Radical right
leader Beverly LaHaye also went on Christian "talk radio"
on Friday to blast American Airlines because "American's
sponsorship of homosexual 'pride' events constitutes an
open endorsement of promiscuous homosexuality." She
and the other groups have written Bob Crandall at American to complain that the airline has "gone beyond mere
tolerance" of gays and lesbians. (the full article appeared in
Friday's Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and possibly picked up
by other newspapers around the country).
'Y
THE RESULT: It has come to the attention of the gay and
Lesbian community that American Airline's switchboard
and e-mails are being bombarded now by homophobic and
hateful callers who have been urged by LaHaye and others
t<_:> DEMAND the company terminate its gay-friendly policies.
'Y
THE NEED: We need to send our messages of support and
encouragement toAmerican Airlines . It is critical that we
counteract this attack and end the impression that we are
silent and unconcerned when the vicious attacks are unleashed. Even if you do not fly frequently or have not flown
in some time PLEASE write to express your support.
T
THE
MEANS:
E-mail
to
this
address:
Webmaster@amrcorp.com or call personally to the American switchboard in Dallas at (817) 963-1234, then hit "O"
and request the operator to send your caller comment to
their executive offices. You should be able to reach an
individual with whom you may register your views.
It is essential that we counter the attack that American is under,
and stand up for those that support us!! Please e-mail American
and show your support for their outreach to the gay and lesbian
traveler, support of gay and lesbian groups, and their gayfriendly policies.
GAYS SEEK

Alo

FOR HOLOCAUST

VICTIM S
A gay delegation met with Swiss officials Thursday to urge that
gays receive a fair share of a new $71 million humanitarian fund
for needy Holocaust victims. Gays were among those groups
including Jews, gypsies, Slavs and communists - targeted by the
Nazis for concentration camps and extermination.
The meeting in the Swiss capital of Bern came a day after the
Swiss government formally founded the fund._ The gay orgamzation Pink Cross argued that money should aid any Holocaust
victim, regardless of race or religion, or political or se>.'Ual
orientation.
"We had the feeling that we were met with open ears," said Pink
Cross spokesman Rolf Gerber. He said the meeting with the
government's task force on Holocaust victims was "very open
and productive."
News Worthy Continued on Page 7

Page4

T NEWS & VIEWS
FEATURES
A FEW SELECTED

TERMS FROM GABONICS PAST

AND PRESENT:
In Oakland, Calif., they started the debate about Ebonics: Is it a language, a
dialect or just some kind of strange slang? In South Florida there's Cubonics and
where ever gays and lesbians gather you're likely to hear "gaybonics."
The experts tell us that groups who feel left out of the majority develop theirown
terminology either because t~e)'.'re isolated or because they feel the need to speak
in code. In days gone by this lmgo might have been referred to as camf, but
younger gays and lesbians are adding to, and using, the language as wel .
Here are a few examples of commonly used "gaybonic" terms. This list is by no
means all inclusive, but represents a sampling of the terminology that ~any in
the community have grown accustomed to using over the years. Sources mclude
conversations with you, phrases overheard at the bar, on the beach and at the
community center, as well as "The Queen's Vernacular" by Bruce Rodgers.

AC-DC: bisexual
Angel Food: a gay member of the
Air Force
Bareback: sex without a condom
Basket: the outline of male genitals
crammed into pants
BB: bump buddy or butt buddy; a
sex partner
BD: Baby Dyke
Bear: a hairy-chested man
Betty and Barney: term for women
and men heard in gay bars
Brown Berry: (mid '60s) a virginal
ass hole
Chicken Hawk: a gay man who
goes after young men
Chicken of the Sea: a gay member
of the Navy
Closet Case: a gay or lesbian in
denial about sexual orientation
Cornflakes: (Southwest, late '60s)
lovable, big, dumb farm boy
Kissing Fish: (from novel by the
same name by Monique Lange)
lesbians
Lampshade Queen: inferior decorator
Leather Crowd: subculture of
leather boys
Lipstick Lesbian: a lesbian who
wears makeup and feminine
clothes
Local Talent: the local gay crowd
Make Mudpies: (1970) have sex in
the bushes while it rains or
drizzles
Mary: a gay man
Miss Thing: someone who thinks
they are "all that"; conceited
Motel Time: the last frantic minutes
before a bar closes last call for
alcohol
Norma: a heterosexual or a gay man
that says he' s returning to the
straight world

May 1997

Octopus Disease: the symptoms include fondling others in public
places
Our Miss Brooks. (from the television series) gay male teacher
Pansy without a Stem:(camp, mid
'60s) lesbian
Pap-nibbler: nipple sucker
POU: Positively One of Us
Press the Dress: get ready for social
activities
Put on Pink (or Purple) Pants: to
dress up for a gala event
Queen: an effeminate gay man; or
just a general slang term among
gay men for each other
Queer Dear: straight woman who
hangs out with gay men (also,
fag hag)
Rice Queen: any gay man that's attracted to Asian men
Run in the Nylons: clue that one's
homosexuality is showing
Safari: (dated, '50s) a younger entourage surrounding an older
person
Set the Table: to change the bed
linen
Sister of the Inclination: lesbian
Snow Blindness. (from San Francisco, 1970) being dazzled by a
friend's newly dyed blond hair
Snow Queen: any non-white gay
man that pursues anglo men (also
known as Potato Queen)
Sticky Rice: two Asian men together
Sugar Daddy: (from ' 20s slang,
sugarmoney)anolderman, who
supports a younger ]over
Sweet I.eech: (dates the user) lesbian who sponges off her lover
Trade: non-reciprocal sex partner:
usually thinks they ' re straight

LESBIAN AND GAY COUPLES NEEDED!!
A lesbian and a gay male researcher at the University of
Maryland are conducting a gay-~ffirmative study of same-sex
couples. This will be the first maior study to look at the impact
of factors unique to the LGB identity process o~ same-sex
relationship functioning. It will also be the first maior study to
look at a racially ethnically diverse sample of same-sex couples.
We need your help in finding possible participants. If you or
anyone you know of might be willing to participate, _please
contact us or pass along this message. (Our contact mfo 1s
below.) What follows is information about participating in the
study:
People who participate must be in a relationship that has lasted
at least three months. Also, we are focusing on people who
identify (at least partially) as lesbian or gay (as opposed to
primarily identifying as bisexual). Both members ofeach couple
are sent questionnaires to complete. Questionnaires are returned separately in stamped return envelopes. All responses are
completely confidential and anonymous. We are eager to hear
from couples of a variety of ages, race/ethnicities, income levels,
communities, outlooks, etc.
When questionnaires are received from both partners of a
couple, they are automatically entered mto a louery to Will pnzes
from national and local LGB affirmative busmesses.
I would greatly appreciate any help that you could offer us in our
efforts. If you are in a relationship and would like to participate,
just e-mail me or Gianna Chang.
Jon Mohr;
e-mail: p-jmohr@bss3.umd.edu
phone:202/842-9706
Glenna Chang;
e-mail: gchang@deans.umd.edu
phone-. 202/842-9706

WANT SOME WORTHWHILE E•MAIL?
If you're like me, nothing can be more discouraging than
checking your email and finding nothing but a bunch of JUlik:
mail telling you how to get rich quick. How about some regular
mail that is worth reading and keeps you up to date on what's
happening in the world of interest to lesbigay people?
The way to do that is subscribe to a news-group or mailing list.
One of my favorites is put out by a guy right here in Connecticut;
and he offers three separate mailing lists : one on issues of samesex marriage, one on issues of spirituality and religion, and one
on youth issues. Each mailing is a collection of articles culled
from various newspapers and magazines around the country,
usually from on-line sources or other news-groups . They are
sent out BCC (blind copy) which means no one sees the e-mail
addresses of the other recipients. If you're interested, e-mail him
at CTFreedom@aol.com.
If you want lots of e-mail, my other favorite list is put out by a
pair of dedicated w?men in I<:>wa .. They send out up to_ 10 sets
of articles a day relatmg to lesb1gay issues : news _items, editonals,
theater reviews, letters to the editor, from maior metropolitan
papers and national magazines to college papers and small town
weeklys, in Hawaii and California and Iowa and Alabama and_
New York and all around the world. It's a real cross section ot
what society is thinking and saying about gay people. It takes
me about a half hour a day to get through 1t all, but it's
fascinating and well worth it. Their e-mail address _is:
Fenceberry@aol.com. Just write and ask to be put on their hst.
There's no charge for any of this, and it's all completely
confidential.
- Roger Hooverman

Reprinted in part from TWN,
March 19, 1997

Pages

T NEWS & VIEWS
CooL STUFF ONLINE FOR YouNGSTERS
A new Web site offers education and entertainment for lesbians, gay
men, bisexuals, transgender people and their children. Open Prairie
Syn_dicate, located at http://www.visi.com/-oprairie, is a Minneapolisbased collective that showcases cartoonists who work outside of the
mainstream press, including Alison Bechdel's Dykes to Watch out For
and Jennifer Camper's SubGURLZ
A new addition to the site is an online picture book for children with gay
and lesbian parents. "If the Sun Were Queer," written by Open Prairie
founder Joe Hoover, a political cartoonist whose work has been published in 23 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender publications nationwide, is inspired by the Sharon Bottoms case as well as other cases where
children have been taken away from parent's homes because of the
parent's sexual orientation.
Please thank Joe Hoover for his wonderful book and for making it
available to all via the Internet. It is appreciated and will certainly touch
the lives of children with gay and lesbian parents everywhere.
Contact: Joe Hoover, Open Prairie Syndicate, P.O. Box 8117, Minneapolis, MN, 55408; e-mail:
oprairie@visi.com.WWW:
http://www.visi.com/-oprairie/hoover/bookfbook.html
PARTNERS TASI< FORCE FOR GAY

&

LESBIAN

COUPLES
The latest items to be added to our extensive Web site for same-sex
couples:
1] Same-Sex Marriage Pride Day Project.
A great way to capture attention for legal marriage issues during
Pride Day parades.
2] Domestic Partner Benefit List compiled by the Lambda Legal
Defense and Education Fund. Updated as of February 1997.Can
be downloaded as a PDF paginated file.
Quick
Facts on Legal Marriage.
3]
Basics on the status of legal marriage for U.S . same-sex couples.
www.buddybuddy.com
"GET OVER IT -

ELLEN'S COMING

OUT-SO WHAT?"
Bob Harris, from the Sonoma County (CA) Independent
So Ellen is coming out. Why is this big news? We all know that both
Ellen DeGeneres - and her fictional, ABC-TV sitcom counterpart are gay. We've known it for a long time, even though Disney made the
poor girl hop in and out of the closet faster than Imelda Marcos in full
slipper frenzy. The media have buzzed for months with subtle clues
proving that Ellen Is a Lesbian the way a previous generation proved that
Paul Is Dead. (Which he still hasn't admitted. The wanker.)
The real news here isn't Ellen. It's us-no longer pretending that we
don't know.
We straights are all aware that gay people share our schools, homes, and
workplaces. But somehow a lot of us seem to hope that if we keep our
eyes closed, maybe they'll all just go_away.
When you're three years old, behaving like this is usually accompanied
by putting fingers in your ears and screaming "Mommeeeeee!" Psychologists call this a neurotic avoidance reaction, although the U.S.
military prefers the phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Opening your eyes,
however, reveals the obvious: Gays and bisexuals are and always have
been part of American life.
What would American culture be without the music of Cole Porter, the
poetry of Walt Whitman, and the plays of Tennessee Williams? What
would our history be without Susan B. Anthony and J. Edgar Hoover?
Ironically, what would our image of masculinity itself be without James
Dean, Rock Hudson, and Errol Flynn?

May 1997

Contrary to the parroted PR that passes for reporting, Ellen Morgan
isn't even the first gay title character on the network prime time. She's
just the first we've agreed to acknowledge. Sixteen years ago, Tony
Randall starred in NBC's "Love Sidney," a series adaptation of a TV
movie in which Sidney was openly gay. No one watched, and it went
off the air quietly. Sidney Shorr's sexuality remained largely unaddressed. As NBC entertainment president Brandon Tartikoff explained
at the time, "We have no plans of bringing it up, dealing with it, or
mentioning it." Or, more plainly: Mommeeeeee!
At least this was an improvement from the '70s, when Marcus Welby
"treated" a gay man by advising him not to talk about his "problem," to
stay in the closet, and to start seeing a psychiatrist!
It should not be a radical act for Ellen simply to be who she is. What's
the big deal anyway? Why do we have difficulty dealing with friends,
family, and even fictional characters whose preferences are never going
to intersect with our own bedrooms in any case?
A recent study published in the "Journal of Abnormal Psychology''
might have the answer. In the study, participants filled out personality
questionnaires before viewing a variety of erotic videos while wearing
"genital strain gauges" to measure their arousal. (This is actually true, I
swear. I think I went to the wrong college.)
Guess what? Turns out there's a striking, direct correlation between
homophobia and latent homoerotic impulses. The very folks who
revealed genuine fear or hostility toward gays on the written test were
consistently more stimulated by gay images than heterose>a1al ones.
Apparently, the myth is true: Homophobes really do have closets to
explore, or at least a desk drawer or two.
The rest of us are letting their ignorance influence us, for whatever
reason.
So perhaps we should cease talking about gays and lesbians "gaining"
mainstream acceptance, as if coexistence is entirely their responsibility.
Instead, let's just begin thinking honestly and compassionately about
our own motivations and phobias. I couldn't have been the only guy in
high school who pretended to laugh at gay-bashing jokes just so the
vicious ones wouldn't turn their venom on me.
Ellen isn't changing; she's just not pretending anymore. Neither should
the rest ofus.
TCC News continued

A

CORRECTION IS IN ORDER
Last month, my essay was edited for space reasons and as a result the
meaning of the last paragraph got somehow garbled. What I had said
was that in the four years of managing the database for the Center we,
as a community, had only lost two men to AIDS, the same number of
women who had died from naturalcauses. I'm not stupid- I know men
living with AIDS who for very good reasons have not made their HIV
status general knowledge. But in sheer numbers the extent to which
AIDS has ravaged the communities I have been in contact with and
know best is far from the 50% infection rate ofNew York City and San
Francisco or even the 33% rate of cities of Boston and Chicago.
Marianne Seggerman
METROLINE FOLDS
Mounting debt and dwindling income has forced the bi-weekly, Metroline
magazine to cease publication. The demise of this publication is a loss not
only for those directly involved with Metroline but for the entire gay and
lesbian community as well. It provided a wealth of regional information
for our community including feature and news articles, personals,
classified, organizational listings, housing, entertainment, etc., etc.
It will be sorely missed. Look in the June issue of News & Views for an
in depth article on the history of Metroline.
THE NORTHEAST CENTER FOR TRAUMA RECOVERY

will be sponsoring a gay men's therapy group. The focus of this group
will be on coming out issues, relationship issues, and other aspects of gay
life affecting men's lives. For more information contact Dave Walenozyk,
L,M.F.T. at 203-227-8331.
Page6

SPEAKUP!

ELLEN OuoTE

Reprinted from the Connecticut Post, April 5, 1997

You

CAN BE GAY AND

A

CHRISTIAN

I have followed the "bantering" back and forth in the Connecticut Post
letters column over the issue of homosexuality. Each one of us has the
right to our own thoughts and opinions concerning this issue. It is
unconscionable, however, for a person to misrepresent Christ, possibly
influencing others to believe that he knows what he is talking about. I
implore writer Joseph DeCaro to study Christ's life, words, and teachings.
He should read the Book he implies he knows, so well. I guarantee that
Jesus never even mentioned homosexuality.
Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7; 1), DeCaro must get his facts
straight. Using the Bible to support bigoted; ignorant opinion is a sin! Ask
Jesus what He thinks; I believe you'll be enlightened.
Not that I owe an explanation, but I am a born-again Christian. I have
studied God's word and believe in Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and
I am gay.
I will no longer sit back and cringe silently while people like DeCaro
"preach"
Barb Schade
Fairfield
News Worthy continued

MARVIN LIEBMAN DIES AT

73

Marvin Liebman, a one-time Communist turned conservative Reaganite
turned gay activist, writer and commentator, died of heart failure March
,,
30 in Washington, DC. He was 73 .
Many TCC members had a chance to meet and speak with Liebman and
hear his life story last October, when he was our guest at a special program
at the Triangle Community Center in Norwalk.
As a young man, Liebman served in the U.S. military in Africa and Italy
during World War II, but was discharged in 1944 as a homosexual and
denied all veteran benefits. In the years prior to and immediately following
World War II, he was an avid Communist. He worked in what was then
the Palestine underground to help build what was to become the state of
Israel.
Later he made an abrupt about face, became a leading anti-Communist
organizer and started a number of right-wing organizations. In 1968 he
worked on Ronald Reagan's first campaign for the Presidency. Liebman
then went to Washington and joined the "Reagan Revolution," working
with the National Endowment for the Arts. In between the Reagan
campaigns, he spent his time producing movies and theatrical productions
and _providing assistance to endeavors as diverse as William F. Buckley's
"Finng Line" and Father Bruce Ritter's Covenant House.
His life took another turn in 1990, when in the pages of the National
Review, a publication of his long-time friend William F. Buckley, Jr., he
came out publicly as a gay man.
In 1992 his autobiography, "Coming Our Conservative," was published.
(It's available for borrowing in the TCC Resource Room.) Then in 1995
he wrote a column for the Advocate in which he announced his independence from any labels, including Conservative, Christian, or Republican.
Toward the end of his life, he was actively devoting his time, talent and
energy to the American lesbian and gay community and a monthly
column, "Independently Speaking" arid to gay and lesbian publications
throughout the United States, including News & Views.

"I always thought I could keep my personal life separate from my
professional life. I mean, I really tried to figure out every way to
avoid answering that question for as long as I could ... . Now I feel
completely comfortable with myself and I don't have to be fearful
about something damaging my career if it gets out, because now
I'm in control ofit- sort of.. .. No one can hurt me now."
- Ellen DeGeneres, self-affirming lesbian, in a Time interview.

TRIVIA 0UESTION
ANSWER TO .APIHL

Richard Rodriguez, who in addition to giving
heartfelt essays on the Jim Lehrer News Hour
aboutCatl1Qlici.smJhisMexican-Arnericanheritage and•othertopics, writes. occasional essays
for magazines like Harpers and the Atlantic
Monthly.
0uESTION FOR. MAY

Because I could not sew" was the reason she
gave for not creating a Names Project Quilt
panel so instead she memorialized her late
brother, dead of AIDS, by writing a play about
a trip to Europe they never gotto take with each
other. Who is the playwr~h~?
w

OTHER AREA GROUPS AND
ORGANIZATIONS

Bare & Gay (B&G) gay nudists
Bisexually Curious Support Group Bpt
Chiltern Mountain Club
Connecticut Kids and Families
Connecticut Freedom to Marry Coalition
40-Up Club.(Social Grp.-call Dale before 10pm)
Gay Fathers Group
Gay Mens Association of Danbury
GEMS (Mature GLBT)
Guideline (gay/lesbian phone info)
Hartford Community Center
Married Men's Bisexual Suppt Grp Htfd
Metropolitan Community Church
The Loft, White Plains NY,
Triangle Bowling League
Triangle Kids

-RH
HERE's Mv

Two

CENTS!

Did you know that JCPenny has withdrawn their advertising dollars from
the sitcom "Ellen" because Ellen Morgan comes out as a lesbian? Want to
blast them for the pull-out? Visit their website at: http ://
www.jcpenney.com. Go to the area called "pushing the envelope," general
comments link, and fill in the blanks. You may want to compose and save
your comments before going to the web site, then just paste them into the
comment field. How about sending back cut up JC Penney charge cards,
as well?

May 1997

•

Western Connecticut Gay Men's Group

(860) 644-4305
(203) 264-5605
(203) 899-0270
(203) 256-8414
(203) 791-9553
(203) 261-4019
(203) 866- 7051
(203) 778-7016
(860) 688-1881
(203) 366-3734
(203) 724 5542
(203) 262-1555
(203) 389-6750
(914) 948-4922
(203) 931-8789
(203) 255-6229
(203) 323-6278
(203) 773-9947

We're glad to list your non-profit gay/lesbian/bi/cg group free of
charge. Call (203) 849-1508. Please keep us informed of changes.

Deadline for the June new,letter will be rriday 9
may. We cannot guarantee that material received
after that date will be included in June new,&View,.
Page 7

T NEWS & VIEWS
A

Mio-SPRINGS
NIGHTS DREAM

After I got Roger Hooverman's e-mail suggesting that I be
the new editor of News and Views I had a serious debate
with myself. And if you know me, you know that this is no
small feat. No matter how much I reasoned with myself I
still had this nebulous fear. In an effort to name it I analyzed
the most obvious possibilities. Was it my ability to do the
job? No ...... I knew I had the experience. After all, for two
years I had been editor of''Talking Triangles," the newsletter for the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian and Gay
Civil Rights. Was I afraid that my health wouldn't hold up.
No ..... my health was not a major concern. I felt that, with
help, I could make it a mostly-done-from-my-home job.
What then, still gave me the heebie jeebies? I decided to
sleep on it. Lo, that very night I had a dream. In the dream
I was being chased by the dreaded Giant Vacuum Fairy.
Humming and whirring, it was closing in on me; trying to
suck me in! I tried to nin but to no avail. Looking at my feet
I saw that my shoes were at least ten sizes too big. All I
could do was slosh around in them. The Giant Vacuum
Fairy whirred closer and closer ..... always with that relentless hum. Just as it was about to swallow me up, I
recognized the hum for what it was. It was a song ..... a song
from my distant past! I awoke with a start. "Golly," I
exclaimed. ''That song. I know that song. Its 'Happy Trails
to You!' The Giant Vacuum Fairy was humming 'Happy
Trails to You!"'
Suddenly, my fear had a name and that name was Roger
Hooverman! (All right, so my dreams lack a certain
subtly.) Yes! I was terrified at the thought of trying to fill
Hooverman's shoes. "How can I ever be as good an editor
as he?" I moaned. ''Woe is me. Woe is me," I cried, beating
my breasts (Ouch!). This kind of behavior continued until
my wailing time was used up. I found my moaning so
exhausting that I fell asleep. Yes, I had another dream. Just
like before, the Giant Vacuum Fairy was corning after me
and just like before it was trying to suck me in! But this time
I had a weapon. Turning quickly, I threw several lit joints
in the direction of the whirring and humming, bellowing
defiantly, ''Here you Giant Vacuum Fairy. Suck on these!"
Well, I don't need to tell you what happened next. After a
few moments the Giant Vacuum Fairy was as Stoned as
Stoned can be. Its whirring and humming turned to
uncontrolled tittering and twittering. It turned on its little
Stoned wheels and headed for the refrigerator. I awoke
bursting with joy! ''I'm not alone here, I cried." I have John
Del Vecchio & David Dey to help me. And besides, all I
have to do is be the best editor I can be. So maybe I can
never be a Roger Hooverman. But then again, if I can
never be a Roger Hooverman I can never be a Giant
Vacuum Fairy either.

REell'ii

lOFUSOUP
VEGETAhlE

c:ookiNG

WATER

1OR2lEAfyGREEN VEGETAbles ( ESCARolE, spiNACH)
1OR 2 orkER VEGETAbles ( MushaooM sTEMs, ,GREEN
bEANS, ETC.)
fResh fiRM Tofu.,
GROCERY OR

2

lARGE cAkes fRoM Cl-tiNESE

1 pkq. cut h'4TO 11'

slicEs

8RiNq VEGETAblE WATER ro A boil.

Daop iN fiRsT

GREEN VEGETAhlE. CoVER ANd TURN off kEAT. RE,.
MOVE VEG£TAble FROM WATER wkEN soh. REPEAT
paoceduae wiTH odtER VEGETAblEs EXCEPT MUSH-ROOMS.

Tliey should bE cooked AITER rhE rofu.

AfrER All VE(iETAblEs ARE cooked bRiNG WATER To
A siMMER.

DROP iN tofu} slicEs AT A Ti ME. SIMMER

foR AbouT ~ MiNUTES. PlAcE ON mpof VEGETAbLEs.
PouR lehovER WATER OVER rofu. SeRVEWiTH RicE.

PLAN A FABULOUS PARTY
CENTER FoRUM is plEASEd AS puNcH TO ANNOUNCE
THAT ONT uEsdAy NiqHT MAy 20TH JAck MillER ANd
Todd MERRill, pARTY plANNERS EXTRAdiNAiRE ANd
co,owNERS of THE UNivERsAl GRill, A populAR
VillAqE RESTAURANT, will GRACE us wiTH THEiR
PRESENCE ANd wisdoM STARTiNq AROUNd 7:"jO isH.
LEARN THEiR SECRETS TO MEMORAblE pARTiES (A
smAiqHT fEMAlE fRiENd williNq TO loviNqly slAvE
OVERCONSTRUCTiNq THEclEVER iNViTATiONS is ONE}.
THE couplE {iN REAl lifE? NOT SURE ... SOMEONE
sHould MAkE A poiNT TO pRy) ARE THE pRoud
AUTHORS of "FAbulous PARTiEs" A copy of wHicH
THEY HAVE AlREAdy doNATEd TO THE T RiANqlE CoM,..
MUNiTy CENTER.

LEARN HOW TO THROW pARTiES

wiTH cl.Ass ANd AbANdoN, wiTH vicTuAls MORE

-Michele Stone

widE--RANqiNq THAN MOTHER--iN--IAw ouicHE (Al...
THOUGH THAT WAS dElicious, PETER) OR iNTERMi,..

TCC

P-FLAG SCHEDULE OF MEETINGS AT
"Big" Monthly Meeting: Every 1st Wednesday, 7:45

NAhlE VARiATioNs of pASTA sAlAd.

Spouses and Ex Spouses group: Every 3rd Thursday, 7:30

May 1997

Page8

Property of the Cent<:!r

T NEWS & VIEWS
NICHOLAS LANG, MS, NCC
Counseling & Psychotherapy Services
Specializing in Sexual Orientation,
Loss, Relationship, & HIV-related Issues.
New Haven Office
200 Orchard St.
789-0560, Ext. 4

Wilton Office
387 Danbury Road
761-8825

Horticultural Botanist
Gardener & House I Pet Sitter
Donald J. Comes
(203) 866-2823
~

30 TI.erney Street

Norwalk, CT 06851

TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INC.
P.O.BOX 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855
Tel/Fax: (203) 853-0600
e-mail TCCenter@aol.com
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
DON BUXTON ... ... ....................... .. President
DAVE CARROLL ........................... Vice-President
BARB SCHADE .... ................ ... ....... Treasurer
LEN HOREY ............... ... .......... ....... Corresponding Secretary
DA VE CARROLL ........................... Acting Recording Sec'y
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
DON BUXTON
LEN HOREY
DAYID CARROLL
JOHN DEL VECCHIO
BARB SCHADE
STANDING COMMITTEES
AIDS Liaison
Tom M
Board Development
Vacant
Communications
John D
-Public Relations
Mike C
Finance
Doug N
Fundraising/Sp Events
Michael P
Membership
Vacant
-Member Database
Marianne S
Operations
Cindy M
(and to schedule events at the Center)
Program
Dave C
-Resource Room
Walter D
-Center Forums
Marianne S
Volunteer
Meg B & Justine M

374-6934
334-3822
375-3567
838-2367
866-6993
222-8294
595-9799
838-1881
374-6934
222-8294
375-9020

9{,'E'WS & 'V1'E'WS

MlD-TA1RT1£LD
AlDS 1'ROJ£CT
S£RV1l-4G TH£ l-4££1)S Of
TH£ H1V/ AIDS COMMVNlTV 1N:
NORWALK
WESTPORT
N£WCANAAN
W1LTQN
W£STQN
&£ASTON
l'ROVJDING CLIENT SERV1C-£S AND ADVOCACY

MID-f'Al'Rfl£LO AIDS MtOJ£CT
u.RIVERST.

NORWALK, CT ~10
PHONE: (loJ) 111·9JJ1
f AX: (203) 111-1n,
1NT£RN£T: kfft>://www.mfAp.com
£-MAil: mfo@mfap.com
May 1997

Is published monthly by
Triangle Community Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855.
NEWS & VIEWS encourages its readers to submit materials of interest
to our community, including short articles, letters to the editor, etc. We
cannot respond to, or publish, anonymous letters. We reserve the right
to edit or condense as appropriate to meet space requirements. Authors
will be contacted if major revisions are necessary. Please submit to :

NEWS&VIEWS
Michele Stone: Editor & Adv. Mgr.
P.O. Box 8185
Stamford, CT 06905
Phone 316-0333 Fax 964-1133
e-mail: NewsViews2@aol.com

John Delvecchio: Asst Editor
Phone: 203-334-3822
Mike Collins: Publicity
Phone: 203-375-3567

FOR ADVERTISING RATES CONTACT MICHELE STONE:
Ads must be camera-ready. If your ad is not camera
ready or you need help with its layout or design,
contact Michele Stone BEFORE submission. Inserts
and special sizes upon prior agreement. All ads are
placed on a space available basis.
The publication of the name of any person or organization in articles or
advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS is not to be construed as any indication of
the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such organizations.
The appearance of advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS does not imply nor
constitute endorsement by TCC,Inc.
Copyright 1997 by Triangle Community Center, Inc. All rights reserved. This
work, or any parts thereof, may not beused or reproduced in any manner without
written permission.

Page9

The Norwalk Health Department
In cooperation with

~nnouncement

Triangle Community Center
STAMFORD RELIGIOUS SCIENCE CENTER
FOR DYNAMIC LIVING

Proudly Announces
HIV Counseling & Testing Services
Commencing:
February 11, 1997

Sunday Experience 1st and 3rd Sundays, 11 :00 am Tara
Stamford Hotel, 2701 Summer St., Stamford. For information call Linda A. Bardes, Director, (203) 975-5267 .
Information pack available

From 3:30 - 6:30 p.m.
25 Van Zant Street

PAUL D. SCHNEIDER
For Information and an Appointment

Attorney at Law
POBox451
Soubtport, CT 06490-0451
203/255-5520

Please cal/ 855-7979 or 854-7779

NO WALK-INS
(to ensure anonymity and confidentiality)

Adoption
Child Custody Divorce
Partilersliip Agreements

Counselor Karen Gorman, MSW
(Family Therapist)

Our Families Matter

Massage Connection

THRESHOLD
MORTGAGE COMPANY

• Specializing in professional Swedish
massage
• By appointment only - Day or evening

PATRICK WINTERS
LOAN OFFICER
THRESHOLD MORTGAGE
COMPANY
THRESHOLD COMMON

59 W1LTON

• Student discounts available

ROAD

WESTPORT, CT

06880

(203) 454-0525
TOLL FREE (800) 562-5577
FAX (203) 454-0069
HOME (203) 256-5951
EMAIL pkw@thresholdmtg .com
OFFICE

• Home visits available

1-800-611-0641

• Specializing in residential home mortgages in Fairfield County
• Capable of handling all loan scenario's from a$60,000 condo in
Stamford to a$1,000,000 home in Greenwich

Office located in the New Haven area

• Consistent top producing loan officer for over ten years with a
wealth of knowledge and experience

~ MEMBER OF THE
~ INTERNALTIONAL

1Jla •

1
MASSAGE ASSO. . . . . CIATION

May 1997

-

[II]

In /!J!/5, ThresholdJforljaffe was citedas the top produdnffmort!fa!fe
companJbarin!f closed orer I115, fJfJO, fJfJfJ in loans in Fairfield Coun(f
Page JO

T NEWS & VIEWS
DEROSA AGENCY
g ~ - .9B~ - A ~

(203) 256-1122
(800) 628-7209
FAX: (203) 256-1759

362 NORTH STREET
MILFORD, CT 06460
PH.: 878-1779 HM.: 874-1918

JOANN ATTWOOD NEMIS

FAX: 878-2204

VICE PRESIDENT INVESTMENTS

INSURANCE:
LIFE - HEALTH - HOME -AUTO- BUSINESS

REALTOR:
RESIDENTIAL el COMMERCIAL

[B

JANNEY MONTGOMERY SCOTT, INC .
MEMBERS NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE ANO OTHER PRINCIPAL EXCHANGES

2150 POST ROAD, FAIRFIELD, CT 06430

REALTOR'

Specializing in:

Weddings • Comittment Celeb'l.ations
and "Coming-Out" Pa'l.ties
76 Lake Avenue • Danbury, CT 06810

Tel: 730-1400 • Fax: 798-9611

MARY Y. LENNEY, MSW, CADC
Individual / Couples / Group
Turning Points
387 Danbury Rd.
Wilton, CT 06897

(203) 834-2846

LEADING
HOMES.iil

[B

THE BUYERS REAL ESTATE COMPANY

MICHAEL

T. PAVLICIN

IUALTOR"

772 KINGS HIGHWAY WEST

EXCLUSIVE BUYER AGENT
BROKER

SOUTHPORT, CONNECTICUT 06490

FAX/255-3705 HOME/866-6993

203/255-2278

lt:adhome3@aol.com

VICTORIA

Laura L Gates. MSW, LCSW
Individuals, Couples, and Families

7-11 South Broadway, Suite 400
White Plains, NY 10601
(203) 372-9799
(203) 3TM;lml

T.

FERRARA

ATTORNEY AT LAW

(203) 227-9585

1169 Sylvan Avenue
Bridgeport, CT 06606

(203) 372-9799
(203)ZD'141n4

WESTPORT, CT
ADMIITED IN CT AND NY

Your oonlribuliOftl lo IJHU& Y/n,u-....,,. ooialoft. Of wllo•tff-Q#GIMIU, IRloonle. ror bHI
re,ulll. fQH your oopy lo lh• ctdllor el (IOI} 8"46,,1115 o, •ffledl ii lo lew,YielUl@eol.oom.
May 1997

Page JI

T NEWS & VIEWS
Maria C. Castillo, MSW, LCSW

GAY MEN'S GROUP
NOW FORMING

Individual, Couples, and Family Therapy
Recovery from Abuse

Bilingual

• Self Esteem
• Coming Out

(203) 261-3492
Monroe.CT

(203) 336-2708
Bridgeport, CT

• Dating and Relationships
• Building Community

ALDIS

KURT SPERLING, L.c.s.w.

_'11ffi_4_6_~-ill-!!1'-in-R-!-~- --Do-n-bury-,-CT-06_8_11-*
(203)778•9399

SAUGATUCK COUNSELING CENTER
225 MAIN STREET, LL-1
WESTPORT, CT 06880

FAX (203)744•1139

PHONE

203/454· 1549

Three detades of GAY travel expertise
~ RSVP

(Eu/\

Diane Hyatt, MSW, CISW
T Solution-oriented short or longer term
psychotherapy for Adults and Adolescents,

JOANNE M. MARINO, C.C.M.H.C., N.C.C.

specializing in, but not limited to:

PSYCHOTHERAPIST

49 Coolidge Avenue
Stamford, CT 06906
(203) 964-184 7
21 STRICKLAND RD., COS COB, CONN . 06807 (203) 869-0216

1653 Capitol Avenue
Bridgeport. CT 06606
(203) 332--0136

TDepression
T Anxiety
T Post-Traumatic Stress
T Counseling for Partners & Family
T Specialized Psychotherapy Groups
T Case Consultation
T Clinical Supervision

JOSEPH H. SWEENEY, CPA
ATTORNEY-AT LAW

1305 POST ROAD, FAIRFIELD

(ult

SAUGATUCK COUNSELING CENTER

~ l.ii,/d,,a( Co,p/,, Fomily & Gro,p Thmpy

203/256-3839

Tax Planning, Preparation & Appeals;
Estates & Trusts, Probate Matters,

JOHANNA RAYMAN
M.S. W., L.C.S. W.

Real Estate Law; Elder Law; and
Small Business Formations and Assistance

225 MAIN STREET, LL! • WESTPORT, CT 06880 • 203.454.1549

Support our advertisers! Say
you saw it in News & Views!
May 1997

Page 12

Property of the Center

Support our advertisers!
Say you saw it in News & Views!
, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ~ - - - - - - - , r;;:;:::;;:;;;::-"""'."'."""---===:::;:;;::;:::::::;::::;;:::;:::;-:::-:;::;::::=:;;:;;;:::;;;::=====---:i
DR. JEANNE E. CASTELLUCCI
CHIROPRACTOR

rawtrom tbeinsideout,,
a way to look witbit1

,e while moving
corward
h1,.

(914) 939-7752

(203) 622-8266

558 Westchester Ave.
Rye Brook, NY 10573

209 Bruce Park Ave.
Greenwich, CT 06830

New Patients & Emergencies: 1-800-651-4879

,.
..,9-6~
~,o••

~

c,.;,f,c,

~,...,

" OIAIIIW M. Rl:DDIEM,
AR'I! T>tUHtAPIST

M .s.

PO BoxH

Fl°AIRP'UU,.o, CT, 04430
T,1:LIFAx; 203/330-1!983

-==----====

Serving Greenwich

Darien,New Ganaan
and Stamford

MICHAEL D. ROME, Esq.
Martin and Rome, LLC
Attorneys-at-Law

888 Washington Blvd.
8th Floor
Stamford CT 06901
(203) 977 -5096
Fax (203) 977-5460

FREE INITIAL HALF
HOUR CONSULTATION

137 Rowayton Avenue (on the Five Mile River)
ROWAYTON, CONNECTICUT06853
Fax (203) 853-6818
(203) 853-6677

20 Charming Rooms
Peace & Privacy

100 Acres • Pool
Hot Tub• Trails

Michelle C. Loris, Ph.D., Psy.D_
Individual, Couple and Group Therapy

T9e

GJfi bland§ GJnn
P.O. Box 118
Bethlehem, NH 03574
(603) 869-3978

(203) 255-2767
By Appointment

Ct. Lie. MFT

R.eal Estate Transactions
Tcuation: Business & Individual
Estate Planning & Probate
Personal l,uury/Accident Law

A LESBIAN PARADISE

c.C.tNCE PSYCHOJ'.£-1

~~~
•i~ltt
~
Licensed Psychologists
~~
Serving Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual People
and their Families

ASSOCIATES
Westchester & Fairfield

Manhattan

914- 763 - 8814

212 - 362 - 5985

Jane

w.Attorney-at-Law
Griffith, JD, MBA

Tax Strategy & Preparation • Real Estate
Estate Planning & Wills • Business Consulting
270AldenAvenue, New Haven, CI'06515-2114

Fax 20.5 I 387-9899

Voice 203 I 389-8614

WHERE ARE WE? The Triangle Community Center Inc. is located at 25 Van Zant Street in Norwalk.
From 1-95, take Exit 16 and go south (from Stamford, turn right; from New Haven, turn left). Continue
south under the railroad bridge and turn right on Van Zant St. (Route 136). 25 Van Zant is a large
condominium office building on the right. TCC is in Suite 7-C on the ground floor, Tel. (203) 853-0600.
May 1997

Page 13

T ~EWS & VIEWS
Calendar
Sun
Apr;n
AA9-10am
OutSpoken 4-6

May, 1997

....

Women's Rap 7:30 .

4
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6
Sunday at Center

15
Women's Rap 7:30

11
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6

112
Women's Rap 7:30

118
AA 9-10 am
Outspoken 4-6

119

25
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6

126
Women's Rap 7:30

!June 1
12
AA9-10am
Women's Rap 7:30
OutSpoken 4-6
Queens, NY Pride
March & Festival 12:30

Wed

lj

"EDen" ABC TV

40+ Women 7-9
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Women's Chorus,
Hamden8pm

Les Ballets, New Haven
8:00
Women's Chorus,
Hartford 8pm

I

I~

I\/

IIU

P-FLAG7:45

Men's Rap 7:30

N&VDeadline
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Out & About 7-8pm

HIV Couns 3:30-6:30

16
HIV Couns 3:30-6:30
Lesbian Lit Grp 7:30

Mens' Rap 7:30
P-FLAG Spouses & Exspouses 7: 30

Ill

Ill

Center Forum, Fabulous
Parties 7:30
HN Couns 3:30-6:30
Fundraisinly'Spec Events
Comm7:30

HNCouns 3:30-6:30

13
IDV Couns 3:30-6:30
Lesbian Lit Grp 7:30

1.co

ll\l

Bi Rap Grp 7:30
TCC Board 7:30

13

P-FLAG 7:45

DIRECTORY

A.A. - Don 762-9964
Bi Rap Group - Peter 838-2806;Robin 358-8391
Connecticut Business Guild - 225-6464
40+ Womens Group - Judy 227-5566
Free Association of Fairfield County - John 268-8858 x304
Gay Men's Rap Group- Dave 838-1881; John 926-8971
Gmosaic (People of Color) - not currently active call TCC 853-0600
Lesbian Literature Reading Group - Christine, 847-8476
Out & About (Gen.X Group) - Jen 736-6417 or Dan 838-2367
Outspoken (Youth) - Barb 259-8171; Dan 227-1755;
Doug 838-2367
Political Action Group - Michele, 43~-4465; Charlie, 226-8652
P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays) Joan 544-8724; Lester 322-5380; Belinda 855-1203
P-FLAG Spouses & Ex Spouses Group - Joan 544-8724
Triangle Bowling League (Circle Lanes, Fairfield) - Lisa 3333113; Roseann931-8789
Women's Rap Group - Linda 866-4598; Charlie 226-8652
All meetings are held at the Center and in the evening unless
otherwise noted . A $3 donation per person is appreciated with
your participation in activities to help support the Center.

Men's Rap 7:30

T

I'/

"Who is Protecting Our
Rights?" Panel
discussion, TCC l 0-1 pm

l .l4

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Out & About 7-8pm

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes

131
CT Gay Men's Chorus,
Oakdale Theater,
Wallingford 8:30pm

16

17

!JV

Men's Rap 7:30

14

JO

40+ Women 7-9
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
TCC Friendraiser,
Damian & Len's in
Shelton see article
llj

Men's Rap 7:30

GROUPS MEETING AT OR SPONSORED BY TCC

May 1997

ID

14

HNCouns 3:30-6:30
Bi Rap Grp 7:30
Political Action Grp 7:30 TCC Board 7:30

ILi

Sat

Fri
1.c

:..v

(j

Thu
,.....y,
Men's Rap 7:30
Oral Hi story 7: 30

1-':0

'.lV

Women's Rap 7:30 see
article

TELEPHONE

Tues

Mon

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes

MEMBERSHIP FORM

MEMBERSHIP LISTS ARE CONFIDENTIAL
NAME _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

ADDRESS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - CITY - - - - - - - - STATE - - - - Z I P - - - PHONE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

CONTRIBUTING MEMBER
CONTRIBUTING HOUSEHOLD
SUPPORTING MEMBER
SPONSORING MEMBER
SusTAINING/Bus1NESS MEMBER
SPECIAL MEMBER (Y OUTHISENIOR)

$35
$60
$125
$250
$500
$20

PLEASE MAKE CHECK PAYABLE TO :

P.O. Box 4062
06855 ATTN: MEMBERSHIP
(203) 853-0600

TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INc.
EAST NORWALK, CT

Page 14



Property of the Center

Triangle Community Center

T R

A N

G

News&V~ws

Vol.8, No.5
May 1997

Free to Members and Subscribers

MANY HEARTS • • •

ONE COMMUNITY

WHATS HAPPENING IN MAY & JU
WED,APR30

Ellen Morgan" comes out, whew! 9:30pm, ABC-TV.

FRI,MAY2

Another Octave, the Connecticut Women's Chorus presents Music in My Mothers
House, Unitarian Society of New Haven, Harnden, 8pm.

SAT,MAY3

Another Octave, the Connecticut Women's Chorus presents Music in My Mothers
House, Community Center, Hartford, 8pm.

SAT,MAY3

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo at the Shubert Theater, New Haven, 8pm. Call
Box office or Protix at 1-800-955-5566.

FRI, MAY 16

TCC Friend raiser, at the home of Damian and Len in Shelton, 6-9pm. See article for
directions.

SAT, MAY 17

"Who is Protecting Our Rights?", panel discussion at TCC, 10-lpm. See article for
details.

TUE,MAY20

Center Forum, How to Plan a Fabulous Party, Jack Miller and Todd Merril, Party Planners
Extradinaire, 7:30ish at the center.

SAT, MAY 31

CT Gay Men's Chorus reprises The Hat Ball, the "Prom Night of your Dreams ... with
fifty fabulous men and their eighty-three dancing feet." 8:30, Oakdale Theater, Wallingford.
Info 1-800-644-CGMC.

SUN,JUNE 1

Queens NY Lesbian & Gay Pride March & Multicultural Festival, starts at 12:30pm
at 37th Ave & marches from 89th St. to 75th St. in Jackson Hgts. Info (718) 997-6778.

SAT,JUNE 21

Connecticut Pride in Hartford. Watch for more info .

SUN,JUNE 22

TCC Pride Friendraiser and Back-yard Barbecue - at Meg & Justine's home in
Stratford, 3-6pm. Save the date!

SUN,JUNE 29

Annual New York City Pride_Parade. Watch for more info.

For the latest update on What's Happening in the area check our TCC home page on the internet.

http://members.aol.com/tccenter

BROOKFIELD AREA GROUP
RALLIES TO HELP TEACHER
A group of Brookfield, CT residents has started a legal fund to help a
retired Brookfield High School teacher in her lawsuit against a couple
who accused her of"recruiting" youth to homosexuality.
Veronic~ Berrill,_ a form~r English teacher and the mother of a gay man,
had part1C1pated 111 the high school's "safe wnes" program, where certain
classrooms are marked with pink triangles and designated safe places
where students can talk about their sexuality with understanding teachers. A Brookfield couple, Neal and Katie Houde, objected to the
program, and publicly accused Mrs. Berrill of pursuing a "homosexual
agenda" and engaging in "homosexual recruiting." She responded by
bringing a lawsuit against them for damaging her personal and professional reputation, as well as emotional distress. While this was all going
on, her husband, Jack Berrill, died of cancer at age 72.
In January, the Houdes brought in the Family Institute of Connecticut
and the Virginia-Based American Center for Law and Justice, founded
by Rev. Pat Robertson, to support them . The Center issued a statement
expressing horror that Brookfield students were being taught that
actually "homosexual conduct ... is not only a viable alternative lifestyle,
but is actual equal to heterosexual relationships."
The Danbury and Brookfield papers have given substantial coverage to
both sides of the controversy, including statements by students and
teachers supporting the safe zones program and statements by local

May 1997

pastors and counselors who claim they can help gay people turn
straight. Now friends of Mrs. Berrill have formed a group called the
Committee for the Defense of Classroom Tolerance.
"Veronica Berrill is carrying the load all by herself and she needs
support," said the group's spokesman, Ted LaBonne. He added that
the group's goal is to defend tolerance in all classrooms, not specifically
Berrill's case. A second group has since formed that is circulating a
petition on support of the safe zones and sex education programs in the
school.
Anyone wishing more information or wanting to add their support can
call Ted LaBonne at (203) 743-5552. The Committee can also be
reached by email at GLAofCT@aol.com.
- Roger Hooverman

THE BROOl(FIELD HIGH LETTERS
Reprinted from the Danbury News-Times, March 28, 1997

In the coverage of the safe wnes controversy, The News-Times ran a
transcript of a 1993 talk on being gay that I gave to a group of high
school teachers and peer counselors at my alma mater, Brookfield
High. As a former delivery boy for The News-Times, I never would
have imagined that one day your newspaper would quote me - and
misquote me - so extensively.
Disregarding repeated advance warnings to The News-Times that
there were numerous errors in the transcript, you published it anyway
and failed to advise readers of its source - N ea! and Kathleen H oude the very persons whom my mother, Veronica Berri!, is suing for false
and defamatory charges against her in connection with her participation as a teacher in Brookfield High's safe zones program.

Pagel

T NEWS & VIEWS
There are too many errors to recount, but the following are a few
examples; I'm quoted as saying homophobia is a weapon of "sexes,"
when I said "sexism." When I discuss the religious denominations that
ordain openly gay clergy, the "Union of American Hebrew Congregations" became the "Union of American People congregations" (sic),
"Staying in the closet'' was changed to "taking classes," "rare exceptional" became "rare examples." Discharges oflesbians by the military
"are two to three times greater than discharges of gay men," was
changed to "two to three times favorable to gay men." And so on, ad
nauseam.
These and other errors muddled the talk, and made it confusing to
follow. Having been warned in advance that there were numerous
mistakes, The New-Times should have contacted me to check for
accuracy. Doing so would have been easy, not to mention respectful.
And it was the least I deserved, especially since you invited your readers
to judge the appropriateness of my presentation.
Kevin Berrill
WASHINGTON D .C.
I read with interest the Sunday, March 16 articles on homosexuality,
including the two full pages, B6 and B7, given to Kevin Berrill, a
homosexual. I am patiently waiting to see when two whole newspaper
pages will be given to someone who has come out of the homosexual
lifestyle. Teachers, counselors and students could ask questions, as was
done in Mr. Berrill's talk. I'm sure Dr. Bill Consiglio, who was
mentioned on Page Al, could give you the name of a former homosexual.
In the interest of journalistic fairness, another article should be presented.
Mr. Berrill seems to think that the homosexual lifestyle is normal. One
has only to consider the design of the human anatomy- male and female
- to know what normal is. It's pretty obvious that the male sex organ was
created for the female vagina. I don't see how anyone can argue
otherwise. Maybe we need more plain old anatomy lessons in the
schools.
Claire Siebert
NEW FAIRFIELD
It is sad that the Houdes are spending so much energy to impose their
will on the rest of society. To see two adults so disturbed over someone
else's sexual orientation is frankly bizarre, if not a little kinky. I'd like to
ask N ea! Houde to explain exactly how he is being personally harmed by
homosexuality? Or by young adults discussing homosexuality? He
never once claims to have been damaged by gays in any way and he
admits to pursuing this whole ugly affair because his religion is anti-gay
and he's offended by the "gay lifestyle."
I was raised Catholic and this sort of non-Christian rejection of so many
of God's children is one of the reasons I left the church. When Jesus told
us to love our neighbors, I believe he meant all of them, not just the ones
we approve of.
The Houdes are offended by gays? I'm more offended by narrowminded bigots who insist on forcing everyone to conform to their views.
Human homosexuality has been around ever since human beings
evolved. Homosexual behaviors are found in all the primates, as well as
countless other animal species. If God Almighty created homosexuality,
who are the Houdes to argue with him?
The faculty and staffofBrookfield High School should be applauded for
creating the safe zones, and for trying to raise everyone's consciousness
regarding sexual orientation. Gay-bashing is directly fueled by attitudes
like the Houdes'. High schools are dangerous places to be gay precisely
because homophobic parents continue to teach their children that gays
are second-class citizens and worthy targets of abuse.
I hope the Houdes find a way to contribute to their community in a more
positive way and cease these attacks on people who don't match their
narrow definition of normal.
Richard White
RIDGEFIELD

May 1997

Congratulations to the Houdes for speaking out against the perversion
that's called the gay lifestyle. Just when society should be demanding
accountability, legally, from the gay cult for spreading AIDS, pedophilia
and generally degrading behavior, they've become politically correct.
Why? Because a society based on condoms and contraceptives must
defend any sexual act or admit it's lying. All contraceptive sex is a lie
because it separates sex from procreation and the marriage bond for
which it is intended.
Fairfield County is supposedly largely Catholic. It is the duty of bishops
and priests to make sure the faithful are catechized truthfully, especially
today in the areas of church-state relationshifs and sexual morality. The
past failure to preach on the sinfulness o contraception led to the
acceptance of all sexual deviation and "tolerance" of murder abortion.
Jesus wants to heal homosexuals not condemn them, but homosexuals
and lesbians condemn themselves by carrying out their disordered
inclinations. It is not charity to condone evil.
Please read the letter "Nondiscrimination Against Homosexual Persons" by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Selectively,
Nos. 10 and 11 state: "Sexual orientation does not constitute a quality
comparable to race, ethnic background, etc., in respect to nondiscrimination. Unlike these, homosexual orientation is an objective disorder
and evokes moral concern.
''There are areas where it is not unjust discrimination to take sexual
orientation into account, for example, in the placement of children for
adoption or foster care; in employment of teachers or athletic coaches
and in military recruitment."
I hope all Christians, Orthodox Jews, Moslems and concerned citizens
will oppose the homosexual agenda and state sex education.
Michael Sheehan
DANBURY

Reprinted from the Danbury News Times, March 29, 1997.
While I appreciate that your paper has been willing to tackle the complex
and controversial subject of gay and lesbian youth, it makes me sad - and
more than a little angry - that so much myth and misinformation are
being bandied about regarding the creation ofsafe zones for lesbian, gay
and bisexual youth in school.
As the founder and executive director of Children From the Shadows
(where the concept of safe zones was first introduced in Connecticut),
I feel competent to provide an accurate working definition of the
concept.
Here's what a "safe zone" is: It is a place where all students can feel safe
and respected regardless of their orientation. A safe zone is a class~oom,
a library, a guidance office - or even a hallway-where a clear and entorced
policy prohibits "hate language." Words that attack an individual on the
basis of his or her race, ethnicity, gender, religion or sexual orientation
are not tolerated.
Here's what a safe zone is not: A special place designed to provide special
rights to sexual minority youth, (Did you ever notice how basic human
rights are considered "special rights" whenever they are demanded by
anyone not of the dominant culture?)
I admire and respect the faculty, administration and staff of Brookfield
High School - and obviously, Veronica Berrill - for the courageous stand
they have taken in the face of continued (and often inaccurate) attacks.
What they are doing is making a difference not only in the lives oflesbian,
gay and bisexual children and their families, but in our society as a whole.
Prejudice hurts everyone - those who espouse it and those who are
targeted. Justice, tolerance and standing up for what is right makes all
of us better human beings. In the light of understanding, shadows
disappear.
Robin M. Passariello
Executive Director
Children From the Shadows
MIDDLETOWN

Pagel

T ~EW5 & VIEWS
TCCNEWS
NEW BOARD MEMBERS
At the April 9 meeting ofTCC's Board of Directors, new officers were elected
to replace the positions vacated by Roger Hooverman, Tom Miraconda and
Marianne Seggertnan. The list of officers now reads:
Don Buxton
Dave Carroll
Barb Schade
Len Horey
Dave Carroll

President
Vice-President
Treasurer
Corresponding Secretary
Acting Recording Secretary

Five board positions are still open. Why not apply? It takes just four hours a
month ofyour time. And unless you work for Arthur Murray, you're dance card
can't be that full.

SPLINTERS FROM THE BOARD
WHAT DOES THE BOARD DO?
by Len Horey, TCC Corresponding Secretary

In case you didn't notice, my name magically reappeared on the list of the board
of directors a couple of months ago. That's because after a year of retirement,
I decided to rejoin the board for one more year. Why would I do something
like that? That's a good question. One that Pm still asking myself. But the
answer may be contained in the list of the board of directors. As of April there
are only five people on the board. That's enough to run the Center but just
barely. Despite all of our efforts, we have been unable to attract more people
to the board.
I can understand why it is difficult to attract people to the board. Many people
are unsure of exactly what the board does. Some imagine that serving on the
board will require huge amounts of their time and requires skills that they lack.
It isn't like that at all.
The board of directors runs the Center. In many respects it is just like the other
committees such as Fundraising or Communications. The board meets on a
regular basis and handles the business of the Center. It is the job of the board
to see that the bills get paid and to decide on things which will affect the Center.
Occasionally those decisions are very important (such as the decision to move
the Center to its present location several years ago), but usually they are simple
decisions (such as, do we want to advertise an upcoming gay related event or
can a particular group use the Center for its meetings). All of the committees
report to the board and the board serves as the interface between the committees. You might think that you have to be a business expert to be on the board.
There is really no need for that. Pm an electrical engineer (yes, there are gay
engineers) and I have no formal business training. Yet, I have never felt
overwhelmed by being on the board. Center business simply isn't that
complicated. Most of it is just common sense. When we do come across
something that is beyond us we get the advice of an expert before making a
decision. The board currently meets twice a month and the meetings are usually
less than two hours long. Board members must be members of the Center, but
we no longer require board members to raise or contribute additional money
to the Center. That was important during the early years of the Center, but
today the Center is financially sound. What we need today are more volunteers
to help fill our committees (including the board).
Joining the board gives you an opportunity to help determine the future of the
Center. If you have ever said "why doesn't the Center. . ." this is a perfect way
to have your voice be heard. I have heard that some women don't want to join
the board because they feel that the Center is run by men. If the Center is run
by men (actually four men and one woman) it is only because we don't have
more women on the board. Our by-laws say that we are supposed to have
gender parity on the board, but we can't have it unless more women join the
board. If you feel that women are under represented at the Center then join the
board and change that. I would really like to have our next president be a
woman, but it can only happen if we get more women to join the board.
I hope that I have given you some idea of what the TCC board does and why
you should consider joining it. Ifyou think that you would like to join the board,
give me (Len) a call at 925-0366.

May 1997

MAY FRIENDRAISER
AT DAMIAN

&

LEN'S IN SHELTON

Our nextTCC friendraiser will be Friday, May 16, 6-9 pm, at the
home of Damian and Len in Shelton. Food will be provided;
BYOB. The usual donation will be requested: $8 members, $10
non-members, more if you can, less if you can't.
Directions: From 195 northbound, take to Exit 27A (Route 25
and Route 8). Continue on the highway until the road splits.
Bear to the right (Route 8) and take the first exit after the highway
splits (Exit 8 - Route 108). At the end of the exit ramp make a left.
Continue to the traffic light and make a left at the light onto Route
108 north. Continue on 108 to a stop sign. Continue on 108
north approximately 3 miles from stop sign and make next right
onto Bayberry Lane. Continue on Bayberry Lane until it ends and
make left onto Mulberry Lane. The house is #25 on the right
(gray house).
From Merrit Parkway northbound, to Exit 51. At the end of exit
ramp make a left at the light onto Route 108 north. Continue on
108 to a stop sign. Continue on 108 north approximately 3 miles
from the stop sign and make the next right onto Bayberry Lane.
Continue on Bayberry lane until it ends and make a left onto
Mulberry lane. The house is #25 on the right (gray house). If you
need more information or get lost, call 925-0366.
LESBIAN LITERATURE GROUP
For its June 3rd meeting, the Lesbian Literature Group has
chosen "Chicana Lesbians (The Girls Our Mothers Warned Us
About)" by Carla Trujllo and is published by 3rd Woman Press.
Not one to mince words, Meg Bachtel provides us with her
synopsis of the book. It is she says, "an anthology of short stories
and poetry by chicana lesbians."
The literature group meets at the Center the first Tuesday ofevery
month at 7: 30 pm. Copies of"Chicana Lesbians" are available at
Bloodroot (203) 576-9168. For more information please call
Christine (203) 847-8476.
SPEAKING OUT FOR OUTSPOKEN
OutSpoken, the youth support group here at TCC, has entered
its fourth year! Over 350 gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and
questioning young people have visited our group. We meet every
Sunday from 4-6pm. We talk about what ever is on our minds :
fitting in at school, dealing with parents, handling relationships,
learning to accept ourselves and others. We talk about movies,
music, and "is Ellen finally going to come out?!?" We laugh. We
support each other. OutSpoken is a "safe place" for young people
to communicate and share their feelings. Some members are
struggling with issues of sexuality. Others are already very
comfortable. One of the greatest joys of working with these
extraordinary people is watching a newcomer to the group realize
that she/he is not alone. Many scared, withdrawn youths have
come to this group only to blossom into self assured, happier
people. We are going to start collecting some of their stories.
Stay tuned to the newsletter!
-Dan Kelly
WoRD' s OuT AaouT "OuT AND AaouT"
"Out and About'' is new here at the center. It is a group for both
women and men age 21-35ish. Members of OutSpoken, the
youth group, that were getting more or less too old for those
meetings, started it. It meets from 7-8pm on the second and
fourth Fridays of the month. But sometimes, it keeps rolling!
Whoever wants to can hang in there. The group has in the past
gone off to the diner, movies, bowling, or dancing till I am . It's
a relaxed, comfortable way for young people, many new to the
area, to make new friends in the gay community.
-Dan Kelly

TCC News Continued on Page 6

Page3

T NEWS & VIEWS
NEWS WORTHY
CT SCHOOL ANTI-HARASSMENT BILL
VOTED OUT OF EDUCATION
COMMITTEE
The education committee of the CT legislature voted out SBI 121 which
includes a section prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation in
public schools (K-12). During discussion on the bill Rep. Elaine Hammers, R
123-Trumbull, introduced a motion to strike this section from the bill. Her
motion was seconded by Rep. Christopher Scalw, R 111-Ridgefield. Rep.
Pamela Sawyer, R 55-Bolton, also spoke against this section. Co-Chairs of the
committee, Sen.Tom Gaffey, D 13-Meriden and Rep. Cam Staples, D 96-New
Haven both spoke in favor of the section. Rep. Art Feltman, D 6-Hartford, the
only openly gay legislator, spoke about the importance of this section in order
to provide safety for our kids in school as did Rep. Richard Veltri, R 9-East
Hartford. The motion was defeated by a voice vote and the full bill was voted
out of committee. "We are extremely pleased that this bill came out of
committee and we are looking forward to its passage in the Senate and then the
House," said Jeff Carstens, Co-Chair of SANE ( Safe and Affirming Network
for Education) the political action arm ofGLSTN CT. The bill will go to the
Senate first so people are urged to contact their Senator and then their
Representative for their support of the bill. For further information contact
Carolyn Gabel, CT Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil
Rights (860-521-4710 or CGFEMINIST@AOL.COM) .

STATEWIDE CIVIL RIGHTS COALITION
FIGHTS ON
The Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil
Rights is a statewide organization that has recently reorganized to protect and
strengthen our civil rights. Expanding the vision of the old statewide coalition
that successfully fought for passage of our gay rights bill, the new coalition has
added "bisexual and transgender" to our name, in order to be more inclusive of
our entire community. Our goals are to work at the state legislature as well as
with our Connecticut members of Congress. This year's agenda includes
support for legislation insuring protection against discrimination in schools,
equal access to the courts for discriminatory cases; domestic partnership
benefits; adequate funding and services for our health needs, including HIV/
AIDS and breast cancer. We are also working to protect our community against
anti-gay proposals, especially efforts to enact laws prohibiting same gender
marriage and efforts to amend our gay rights law to allow discriminatory
military recruiters on state campuses.
The Coalition (CCLGBTCR) has organized a steering committee of representatives from each of the six congressional districts in Connecticut. Steering
Committee members have been meeting monthly at the Lesbian and Gay
Community Center In New Haven. In some congressional districts, we have
organized meetings with state legislators in people's homes or in other settings,
in order to familiarize them with our concerns and issues. We have held meetings
with Speaker of the House Tom Ritter, and with Senate Majority Leader George
Jepsen, both of whom have committed their support to our rights.
In addition, we have also organized the Connecticut Stonewall Congress, as a
forum for all types of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender groups; In
C01mecticut to meet together and share information. The Stonewall Congress
is not political in nature. Meetings have been held several times per year, usually
at Wesleyan University in Middletown, to have presenters address a topic of
interest. Time is always set aside for groups to make announcements and share
information with each other. The next Stonewall Congress event is being
pla1med for next fall. Also, look for us at Gay Pride in Hartford!
These two organizations are vital and growing, because we need to stay In touch
and work together. As you can see from the announcement in this newsletter,
the Stonewall Congress, the Coalition, the local chapter of PFLAG and the
Triangle Community Center are jointly sponsoring a panel discussion on Sat,
May 17, from 10-lpm, atTCC, entitled "Who is Protecting Our Rightsi" We
hope you will join us!
We need members to join the Connecticut Coalition so that we can be stronger!
Dues, are only $5 - please send a check, your name and address, phone (e-mail
and fax, if you have one) to: Paul Hartung, 31 Woodland Street, 2A, Hartford,
C106105-4302. Thanks!
-Leslie Brett & Carolyn Gabel

May 1997

AIR SUPPORT
American Airlines is a major sponsor to and supporter of groups
like GLADD, the Human Rights Campaign, the Gay and
Lesbian Victory Fund, the AIDS Action Foundation, DIFFA,
AMFAR, and scores of community-based groups representing
gays and lesbians. It is also the first airline to adopt a written nondiscrimination policy covering sexual orientation in its employment practices. The airline is also well represented by the
leadership ofits gay and lesbian employee group, GLEAM. For
these pioneering efforts, and its sales and marketing outreach to
the gay and lesbian traveler, American has become the next bull's
eye for hard-hitting, anti-gay corporate attacks.
'Y
THE PROBLEM: An unusual joint letter was released to
the media on Friday, March 14th from the Family Research
Council, Concerned Women of America, American Family
Association and Coral Ridge Ministries. Radical right
leader Beverly LaHaye also went on Christian "talk radio"
on Friday to blast American Airlines because "American's
sponsorship of homosexual 'pride' events constitutes an
open endorsement of promiscuous homosexuality." She
and the other groups have written Bob Crandall at American to complain that the airline has "gone beyond mere
tolerance" of gays and lesbians. (the full article appeared in
Friday's Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and possibly picked up
by other newspapers around the country).
'Y
THE RESULT: It has come to the attention of the gay and
Lesbian community that American Airline's switchboard
and e-mails are being bombarded now by homophobic and
hateful callers who have been urged by LaHaye and others
t<_:> DEMAND the company terminate its gay-friendly policies.
'Y
THE NEED: We need to send our messages of support and
encouragement toAmerican Airlines . It is critical that we
counteract this attack and end the impression that we are
silent and unconcerned when the vicious attacks are unleashed. Even if you do not fly frequently or have not flown
in some time PLEASE write to express your support.
T
THE
MEANS:
E-mail
to
this
address:
Webmaster@amrcorp.com or call personally to the American switchboard in Dallas at (817) 963-1234, then hit "O"
and request the operator to send your caller comment to
their executive offices. You should be able to reach an
individual with whom you may register your views.
It is essential that we counter the attack that American is under,
and stand up for those that support us!! Please e-mail American
and show your support for their outreach to the gay and lesbian
traveler, support of gay and lesbian groups, and their gayfriendly policies.
GAYS SEEK

Alo

FOR HOLOCAUST

VICTIM S
A gay delegation met with Swiss officials Thursday to urge that
gays receive a fair share of a new $71 million humanitarian fund
for needy Holocaust victims. Gays were among those groups
including Jews, gypsies, Slavs and communists - targeted by the
Nazis for concentration camps and extermination.
The meeting in the Swiss capital of Bern came a day after the
Swiss government formally founded the fund._ The gay orgamzation Pink Cross argued that money should aid any Holocaust
victim, regardless of race or religion, or political or se>.'Ual
orientation.
"We had the feeling that we were met with open ears," said Pink
Cross spokesman Rolf Gerber. He said the meeting with the
government's task force on Holocaust victims was "very open
and productive."
News Worthy Continued on Page 7

Page4

T NEWS & VIEWS
FEATURES
A FEW SELECTED

TERMS FROM GABONICS PAST

AND PRESENT:
In Oakland, Calif., they started the debate about Ebonics: Is it a language, a
dialect or just some kind of strange slang? In South Florida there's Cubonics and
where ever gays and lesbians gather you're likely to hear "gaybonics."
The experts tell us that groups who feel left out of the majority develop theirown
terminology either because t~e)'.'re isolated or because they feel the need to speak
in code. In days gone by this lmgo might have been referred to as camf, but
younger gays and lesbians are adding to, and using, the language as wel .
Here are a few examples of commonly used "gaybonic" terms. This list is by no
means all inclusive, but represents a sampling of the terminology that ~any in
the community have grown accustomed to using over the years. Sources mclude
conversations with you, phrases overheard at the bar, on the beach and at the
community center, as well as "The Queen's Vernacular" by Bruce Rodgers.

AC-DC: bisexual
Angel Food: a gay member of the
Air Force
Bareback: sex without a condom
Basket: the outline of male genitals
crammed into pants
BB: bump buddy or butt buddy; a
sex partner
BD: Baby Dyke
Bear: a hairy-chested man
Betty and Barney: term for women
and men heard in gay bars
Brown Berry: (mid '60s) a virginal
ass hole
Chicken Hawk: a gay man who
goes after young men
Chicken of the Sea: a gay member
of the Navy
Closet Case: a gay or lesbian in
denial about sexual orientation
Cornflakes: (Southwest, late '60s)
lovable, big, dumb farm boy
Kissing Fish: (from novel by the
same name by Monique Lange)
lesbians
Lampshade Queen: inferior decorator
Leather Crowd: subculture of
leather boys
Lipstick Lesbian: a lesbian who
wears makeup and feminine
clothes
Local Talent: the local gay crowd
Make Mudpies: (1970) have sex in
the bushes while it rains or
drizzles
Mary: a gay man
Miss Thing: someone who thinks
they are "all that"; conceited
Motel Time: the last frantic minutes
before a bar closes last call for
alcohol
Norma: a heterosexual or a gay man
that says he' s returning to the
straight world

May 1997

Octopus Disease: the symptoms include fondling others in public
places
Our Miss Brooks. (from the television series) gay male teacher
Pansy without a Stem:(camp, mid
'60s) lesbian
Pap-nibbler: nipple sucker
POU: Positively One of Us
Press the Dress: get ready for social
activities
Put on Pink (or Purple) Pants: to
dress up for a gala event
Queen: an effeminate gay man; or
just a general slang term among
gay men for each other
Queer Dear: straight woman who
hangs out with gay men (also,
fag hag)
Rice Queen: any gay man that's attracted to Asian men
Run in the Nylons: clue that one's
homosexuality is showing
Safari: (dated, '50s) a younger entourage surrounding an older
person
Set the Table: to change the bed
linen
Sister of the Inclination: lesbian
Snow Blindness. (from San Francisco, 1970) being dazzled by a
friend's newly dyed blond hair
Snow Queen: any non-white gay
man that pursues anglo men (also
known as Potato Queen)
Sticky Rice: two Asian men together
Sugar Daddy: (from ' 20s slang,
sugarmoney)anolderman, who
supports a younger ]over
Sweet I.eech: (dates the user) lesbian who sponges off her lover
Trade: non-reciprocal sex partner:
usually thinks they ' re straight

LESBIAN AND GAY COUPLES NEEDED!!
A lesbian and a gay male researcher at the University of
Maryland are conducting a gay-~ffirmative study of same-sex
couples. This will be the first maior study to look at the impact
of factors unique to the LGB identity process o~ same-sex
relationship functioning. It will also be the first maior study to
look at a racially ethnically diverse sample of same-sex couples.
We need your help in finding possible participants. If you or
anyone you know of might be willing to participate, _please
contact us or pass along this message. (Our contact mfo 1s
below.) What follows is information about participating in the
study:
People who participate must be in a relationship that has lasted
at least three months. Also, we are focusing on people who
identify (at least partially) as lesbian or gay (as opposed to
primarily identifying as bisexual). Both members ofeach couple
are sent questionnaires to complete. Questionnaires are returned separately in stamped return envelopes. All responses are
completely confidential and anonymous. We are eager to hear
from couples of a variety of ages, race/ethnicities, income levels,
communities, outlooks, etc.
When questionnaires are received from both partners of a
couple, they are automatically entered mto a louery to Will pnzes
from national and local LGB affirmative busmesses.
I would greatly appreciate any help that you could offer us in our
efforts. If you are in a relationship and would like to participate,
just e-mail me or Gianna Chang.
Jon Mohr;
e-mail: p-jmohr@bss3.umd.edu
phone:202/842-9706
Glenna Chang;
e-mail: gchang@deans.umd.edu
phone-. 202/842-9706

WANT SOME WORTHWHILE E•MAIL?
If you're like me, nothing can be more discouraging than
checking your email and finding nothing but a bunch of JUlik:
mail telling you how to get rich quick. How about some regular
mail that is worth reading and keeps you up to date on what's
happening in the world of interest to lesbigay people?
The way to do that is subscribe to a news-group or mailing list.
One of my favorites is put out by a guy right here in Connecticut;
and he offers three separate mailing lists : one on issues of samesex marriage, one on issues of spirituality and religion, and one
on youth issues. Each mailing is a collection of articles culled
from various newspapers and magazines around the country,
usually from on-line sources or other news-groups . They are
sent out BCC (blind copy) which means no one sees the e-mail
addresses of the other recipients. If you're interested, e-mail him
at CTFreedom@aol.com.
If you want lots of e-mail, my other favorite list is put out by a
pair of dedicated w?men in I<:>wa .. They send out up to_ 10 sets
of articles a day relatmg to lesb1gay issues : news _items, editonals,
theater reviews, letters to the editor, from maior metropolitan
papers and national magazines to college papers and small town
weeklys, in Hawaii and California and Iowa and Alabama and_
New York and all around the world. It's a real cross section ot
what society is thinking and saying about gay people. It takes
me about a half hour a day to get through 1t all, but it's
fascinating and well worth it. Their e-mail address _is:
Fenceberry@aol.com. Just write and ask to be put on their hst.
There's no charge for any of this, and it's all completely
confidential.
- Roger Hooverman

Reprinted in part from TWN,
March 19, 1997

Pages

T NEWS & VIEWS
CooL STUFF ONLINE FOR YouNGSTERS
A new Web site offers education and entertainment for lesbians, gay
men, bisexuals, transgender people and their children. Open Prairie
Syn_dicate, located at http://www.visi.com/-oprairie, is a Minneapolisbased collective that showcases cartoonists who work outside of the
mainstream press, including Alison Bechdel's Dykes to Watch out For
and Jennifer Camper's SubGURLZ
A new addition to the site is an online picture book for children with gay
and lesbian parents. "If the Sun Were Queer," written by Open Prairie
founder Joe Hoover, a political cartoonist whose work has been published in 23 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender publications nationwide, is inspired by the Sharon Bottoms case as well as other cases where
children have been taken away from parent's homes because of the
parent's sexual orientation.
Please thank Joe Hoover for his wonderful book and for making it
available to all via the Internet. It is appreciated and will certainly touch
the lives of children with gay and lesbian parents everywhere.
Contact: Joe Hoover, Open Prairie Syndicate, P.O. Box 8117, Minneapolis, MN, 55408; e-mail:
oprairie@visi.com.WWW:
http://www.visi.com/-oprairie/hoover/bookfbook.html
PARTNERS TASI< FORCE FOR GAY

&

LESBIAN

COUPLES
The latest items to be added to our extensive Web site for same-sex
couples:
1] Same-Sex Marriage Pride Day Project.
A great way to capture attention for legal marriage issues during
Pride Day parades.
2] Domestic Partner Benefit List compiled by the Lambda Legal
Defense and Education Fund. Updated as of February 1997.Can
be downloaded as a PDF paginated file.
Quick
Facts on Legal Marriage.
3]
Basics on the status of legal marriage for U.S . same-sex couples.
www.buddybuddy.com
"GET OVER IT -

ELLEN'S COMING

OUT-SO WHAT?"
Bob Harris, from the Sonoma County (CA) Independent
So Ellen is coming out. Why is this big news? We all know that both
Ellen DeGeneres - and her fictional, ABC-TV sitcom counterpart are gay. We've known it for a long time, even though Disney made the
poor girl hop in and out of the closet faster than Imelda Marcos in full
slipper frenzy. The media have buzzed for months with subtle clues
proving that Ellen Is a Lesbian the way a previous generation proved that
Paul Is Dead. (Which he still hasn't admitted. The wanker.)
The real news here isn't Ellen. It's us-no longer pretending that we
don't know.
We straights are all aware that gay people share our schools, homes, and
workplaces. But somehow a lot of us seem to hope that if we keep our
eyes closed, maybe they'll all just go_away.
When you're three years old, behaving like this is usually accompanied
by putting fingers in your ears and screaming "Mommeeeeee!" Psychologists call this a neurotic avoidance reaction, although the U.S.
military prefers the phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Opening your eyes,
however, reveals the obvious: Gays and bisexuals are and always have
been part of American life.
What would American culture be without the music of Cole Porter, the
poetry of Walt Whitman, and the plays of Tennessee Williams? What
would our history be without Susan B. Anthony and J. Edgar Hoover?
Ironically, what would our image of masculinity itself be without James
Dean, Rock Hudson, and Errol Flynn?

May 1997

Contrary to the parroted PR that passes for reporting, Ellen Morgan
isn't even the first gay title character on the network prime time. She's
just the first we've agreed to acknowledge. Sixteen years ago, Tony
Randall starred in NBC's "Love Sidney," a series adaptation of a TV
movie in which Sidney was openly gay. No one watched, and it went
off the air quietly. Sidney Shorr's sexuality remained largely unaddressed. As NBC entertainment president Brandon Tartikoff explained
at the time, "We have no plans of bringing it up, dealing with it, or
mentioning it." Or, more plainly: Mommeeeeee!
At least this was an improvement from the '70s, when Marcus Welby
"treated" a gay man by advising him not to talk about his "problem," to
stay in the closet, and to start seeing a psychiatrist!
It should not be a radical act for Ellen simply to be who she is. What's
the big deal anyway? Why do we have difficulty dealing with friends,
family, and even fictional characters whose preferences are never going
to intersect with our own bedrooms in any case?
A recent study published in the "Journal of Abnormal Psychology''
might have the answer. In the study, participants filled out personality
questionnaires before viewing a variety of erotic videos while wearing
"genital strain gauges" to measure their arousal. (This is actually true, I
swear. I think I went to the wrong college.)
Guess what? Turns out there's a striking, direct correlation between
homophobia and latent homoerotic impulses. The very folks who
revealed genuine fear or hostility toward gays on the written test were
consistently more stimulated by gay images than heterose>a1al ones.
Apparently, the myth is true: Homophobes really do have closets to
explore, or at least a desk drawer or two.
The rest of us are letting their ignorance influence us, for whatever
reason.
So perhaps we should cease talking about gays and lesbians "gaining"
mainstream acceptance, as if coexistence is entirely their responsibility.
Instead, let's just begin thinking honestly and compassionately about
our own motivations and phobias. I couldn't have been the only guy in
high school who pretended to laugh at gay-bashing jokes just so the
vicious ones wouldn't turn their venom on me.
Ellen isn't changing; she's just not pretending anymore. Neither should
the rest ofus.
TCC News continued

A

CORRECTION IS IN ORDER
Last month, my essay was edited for space reasons and as a result the
meaning of the last paragraph got somehow garbled. What I had said
was that in the four years of managing the database for the Center we,
as a community, had only lost two men to AIDS, the same number of
women who had died from naturalcauses. I'm not stupid- I know men
living with AIDS who for very good reasons have not made their HIV
status general knowledge. But in sheer numbers the extent to which
AIDS has ravaged the communities I have been in contact with and
know best is far from the 50% infection rate ofNew York City and San
Francisco or even the 33% rate of cities of Boston and Chicago.
Marianne Seggerman
METROLINE FOLDS
Mounting debt and dwindling income has forced the bi-weekly, Metroline
magazine to cease publication. The demise of this publication is a loss not
only for those directly involved with Metroline but for the entire gay and
lesbian community as well. It provided a wealth of regional information
for our community including feature and news articles, personals,
classified, organizational listings, housing, entertainment, etc., etc.
It will be sorely missed. Look in the June issue of News & Views for an
in depth article on the history of Metroline.
THE NORTHEAST CENTER FOR TRAUMA RECOVERY

will be sponsoring a gay men's therapy group. The focus of this group
will be on coming out issues, relationship issues, and other aspects of gay
life affecting men's lives. For more information contact Dave Walenozyk,
L,M.F.T. at 203-227-8331.
Page6

SPEAKUP!

ELLEN OuoTE

Reprinted from the Connecticut Post, April 5, 1997

You

CAN BE GAY AND

A

CHRISTIAN

I have followed the "bantering" back and forth in the Connecticut Post
letters column over the issue of homosexuality. Each one of us has the
right to our own thoughts and opinions concerning this issue. It is
unconscionable, however, for a person to misrepresent Christ, possibly
influencing others to believe that he knows what he is talking about. I
implore writer Joseph DeCaro to study Christ's life, words, and teachings.
He should read the Book he implies he knows, so well. I guarantee that
Jesus never even mentioned homosexuality.
Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7; 1), DeCaro must get his facts
straight. Using the Bible to support bigoted; ignorant opinion is a sin! Ask
Jesus what He thinks; I believe you'll be enlightened.
Not that I owe an explanation, but I am a born-again Christian. I have
studied God's word and believe in Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and
I am gay.
I will no longer sit back and cringe silently while people like DeCaro
"preach"
Barb Schade
Fairfield
News Worthy continued

MARVIN LIEBMAN DIES AT

73

Marvin Liebman, a one-time Communist turned conservative Reaganite
turned gay activist, writer and commentator, died of heart failure March
,,
30 in Washington, DC. He was 73 .
Many TCC members had a chance to meet and speak with Liebman and
hear his life story last October, when he was our guest at a special program
at the Triangle Community Center in Norwalk.
As a young man, Liebman served in the U.S. military in Africa and Italy
during World War II, but was discharged in 1944 as a homosexual and
denied all veteran benefits. In the years prior to and immediately following
World War II, he was an avid Communist. He worked in what was then
the Palestine underground to help build what was to become the state of
Israel.
Later he made an abrupt about face, became a leading anti-Communist
organizer and started a number of right-wing organizations. In 1968 he
worked on Ronald Reagan's first campaign for the Presidency. Liebman
then went to Washington and joined the "Reagan Revolution," working
with the National Endowment for the Arts. In between the Reagan
campaigns, he spent his time producing movies and theatrical productions
and _providing assistance to endeavors as diverse as William F. Buckley's
"Finng Line" and Father Bruce Ritter's Covenant House.
His life took another turn in 1990, when in the pages of the National
Review, a publication of his long-time friend William F. Buckley, Jr., he
came out publicly as a gay man.
In 1992 his autobiography, "Coming Our Conservative," was published.
(It's available for borrowing in the TCC Resource Room.) Then in 1995
he wrote a column for the Advocate in which he announced his independence from any labels, including Conservative, Christian, or Republican.
Toward the end of his life, he was actively devoting his time, talent and
energy to the American lesbian and gay community and a monthly
column, "Independently Speaking" arid to gay and lesbian publications
throughout the United States, including News & Views.

"I always thought I could keep my personal life separate from my
professional life. I mean, I really tried to figure out every way to
avoid answering that question for as long as I could ... . Now I feel
completely comfortable with myself and I don't have to be fearful
about something damaging my career if it gets out, because now
I'm in control ofit- sort of.. .. No one can hurt me now."
- Ellen DeGeneres, self-affirming lesbian, in a Time interview.

TRIVIA 0UESTION
ANSWER TO .APIHL

Richard Rodriguez, who in addition to giving
heartfelt essays on the Jim Lehrer News Hour
aboutCatl1Qlici.smJhisMexican-Arnericanheritage and•othertopics, writes. occasional essays
for magazines like Harpers and the Atlantic
Monthly.
0uESTION FOR. MAY

Because I could not sew" was the reason she
gave for not creating a Names Project Quilt
panel so instead she memorialized her late
brother, dead of AIDS, by writing a play about
a trip to Europe they never gotto take with each
other. Who is the playwr~h~?
w

OTHER AREA GROUPS AND
ORGANIZATIONS

Bare & Gay (B&G) gay nudists
Bisexually Curious Support Group Bpt
Chiltern Mountain Club
Connecticut Kids and Families
Connecticut Freedom to Marry Coalition
40-Up Club.(Social Grp.-call Dale before 10pm)
Gay Fathers Group
Gay Mens Association of Danbury
GEMS (Mature GLBT)
Guideline (gay/lesbian phone info)
Hartford Community Center
Married Men's Bisexual Suppt Grp Htfd
Metropolitan Community Church
The Loft, White Plains NY,
Triangle Bowling League
Triangle Kids

-RH
HERE's Mv

Two

CENTS!

Did you know that JCPenny has withdrawn their advertising dollars from
the sitcom "Ellen" because Ellen Morgan comes out as a lesbian? Want to
blast them for the pull-out? Visit their website at: http ://
www.jcpenney.com. Go to the area called "pushing the envelope," general
comments link, and fill in the blanks. You may want to compose and save
your comments before going to the web site, then just paste them into the
comment field. How about sending back cut up JC Penney charge cards,
as well?

May 1997

•

Western Connecticut Gay Men's Group

(860) 644-4305
(203) 264-5605
(203) 899-0270
(203) 256-8414
(203) 791-9553
(203) 261-4019
(203) 866- 7051
(203) 778-7016
(860) 688-1881
(203) 366-3734
(203) 724 5542
(203) 262-1555
(203) 389-6750
(914) 948-4922
(203) 931-8789
(203) 255-6229
(203) 323-6278
(203) 773-9947

We're glad to list your non-profit gay/lesbian/bi/cg group free of
charge. Call (203) 849-1508. Please keep us informed of changes.

Deadline for the June new,letter will be rriday 9
may. We cannot guarantee that material received
after that date will be included in June new,&View,.
Page 7

T NEWS & VIEWS
A

Mio-SPRINGS
NIGHTS DREAM

After I got Roger Hooverman's e-mail suggesting that I be
the new editor of News and Views I had a serious debate
with myself. And if you know me, you know that this is no
small feat. No matter how much I reasoned with myself I
still had this nebulous fear. In an effort to name it I analyzed
the most obvious possibilities. Was it my ability to do the
job? No ...... I knew I had the experience. After all, for two
years I had been editor of''Talking Triangles," the newsletter for the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian and Gay
Civil Rights. Was I afraid that my health wouldn't hold up.
No ..... my health was not a major concern. I felt that, with
help, I could make it a mostly-done-from-my-home job.
What then, still gave me the heebie jeebies? I decided to
sleep on it. Lo, that very night I had a dream. In the dream
I was being chased by the dreaded Giant Vacuum Fairy.
Humming and whirring, it was closing in on me; trying to
suck me in! I tried to nin but to no avail. Looking at my feet
I saw that my shoes were at least ten sizes too big. All I
could do was slosh around in them. The Giant Vacuum
Fairy whirred closer and closer ..... always with that relentless hum. Just as it was about to swallow me up, I
recognized the hum for what it was. It was a song ..... a song
from my distant past! I awoke with a start. "Golly," I
exclaimed. ''That song. I know that song. Its 'Happy Trails
to You!' The Giant Vacuum Fairy was humming 'Happy
Trails to You!"'
Suddenly, my fear had a name and that name was Roger
Hooverman! (All right, so my dreams lack a certain
subtly.) Yes! I was terrified at the thought of trying to fill
Hooverman's shoes. "How can I ever be as good an editor
as he?" I moaned. ''Woe is me. Woe is me," I cried, beating
my breasts (Ouch!). This kind of behavior continued until
my wailing time was used up. I found my moaning so
exhausting that I fell asleep. Yes, I had another dream. Just
like before, the Giant Vacuum Fairy was corning after me
and just like before it was trying to suck me in! But this time
I had a weapon. Turning quickly, I threw several lit joints
in the direction of the whirring and humming, bellowing
defiantly, ''Here you Giant Vacuum Fairy. Suck on these!"
Well, I don't need to tell you what happened next. After a
few moments the Giant Vacuum Fairy was as Stoned as
Stoned can be. Its whirring and humming turned to
uncontrolled tittering and twittering. It turned on its little
Stoned wheels and headed for the refrigerator. I awoke
bursting with joy! ''I'm not alone here, I cried." I have John
Del Vecchio & David Dey to help me. And besides, all I
have to do is be the best editor I can be. So maybe I can
never be a Roger Hooverman. But then again, if I can
never be a Roger Hooverman I can never be a Giant
Vacuum Fairy either.

REell'ii

lOFUSOUP
VEGETAhlE

c:ookiNG

WATER

1OR2lEAfyGREEN VEGETAbles ( ESCARolE, spiNACH)
1OR 2 orkER VEGETAbles ( MushaooM sTEMs, ,GREEN
bEANS, ETC.)
fResh fiRM Tofu.,
GROCERY OR

2

lARGE cAkes fRoM Cl-tiNESE

1 pkq. cut h'4TO 11'

slicEs

8RiNq VEGETAblE WATER ro A boil.

Daop iN fiRsT

GREEN VEGETAhlE. CoVER ANd TURN off kEAT. RE,.
MOVE VEG£TAble FROM WATER wkEN soh. REPEAT
paoceduae wiTH odtER VEGETAblEs EXCEPT MUSH-ROOMS.

Tliey should bE cooked AITER rhE rofu.

AfrER All VE(iETAblEs ARE cooked bRiNG WATER To
A siMMER.

DROP iN tofu} slicEs AT A Ti ME. SIMMER

foR AbouT ~ MiNUTES. PlAcE ON mpof VEGETAbLEs.
PouR lehovER WATER OVER rofu. SeRVEWiTH RicE.

PLAN A FABULOUS PARTY
CENTER FoRUM is plEASEd AS puNcH TO ANNOUNCE
THAT ONT uEsdAy NiqHT MAy 20TH JAck MillER ANd
Todd MERRill, pARTY plANNERS EXTRAdiNAiRE ANd
co,owNERS of THE UNivERsAl GRill, A populAR
VillAqE RESTAURANT, will GRACE us wiTH THEiR
PRESENCE ANd wisdoM STARTiNq AROUNd 7:"jO isH.
LEARN THEiR SECRETS TO MEMORAblE pARTiES (A
smAiqHT fEMAlE fRiENd williNq TO loviNqly slAvE
OVERCONSTRUCTiNq THEclEVER iNViTATiONS is ONE}.
THE couplE {iN REAl lifE? NOT SURE ... SOMEONE
sHould MAkE A poiNT TO pRy) ARE THE pRoud
AUTHORS of "FAbulous PARTiEs" A copy of wHicH
THEY HAVE AlREAdy doNATEd TO THE T RiANqlE CoM,..
MUNiTy CENTER.

LEARN HOW TO THROW pARTiES

wiTH cl.Ass ANd AbANdoN, wiTH vicTuAls MORE

-Michele Stone

widE--RANqiNq THAN MOTHER--iN--IAw ouicHE (Al...
THOUGH THAT WAS dElicious, PETER) OR iNTERMi,..

TCC

P-FLAG SCHEDULE OF MEETINGS AT
"Big" Monthly Meeting: Every 1st Wednesday, 7:45

NAhlE VARiATioNs of pASTA sAlAd.

Spouses and Ex Spouses group: Every 3rd Thursday, 7:30

May 1997

Page8

Property of the Cent<:!r

T NEWS & VIEWS
NICHOLAS LANG, MS, NCC
Counseling & Psychotherapy Services
Specializing in Sexual Orientation,
Loss, Relationship, & HIV-related Issues.
New Haven Office
200 Orchard St.
789-0560, Ext. 4

Wilton Office
387 Danbury Road
761-8825

Horticultural Botanist
Gardener & House I Pet Sitter
Donald J. Comes
(203) 866-2823
~

30 TI.erney Street

Norwalk, CT 06851

TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INC.
P.O.BOX 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855
Tel/Fax: (203) 853-0600
e-mail TCCenter@aol.com
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
DON BUXTON ... ... ....................... .. President
DAVE CARROLL ........................... Vice-President
BARB SCHADE .... ................ ... ....... Treasurer
LEN HOREY ............... ... .......... ....... Corresponding Secretary
DA VE CARROLL ........................... Acting Recording Sec'y
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
DON BUXTON
LEN HOREY
DAYID CARROLL
JOHN DEL VECCHIO
BARB SCHADE
STANDING COMMITTEES
AIDS Liaison
Tom M
Board Development
Vacant
Communications
John D
-Public Relations
Mike C
Finance
Doug N
Fundraising/Sp Events
Michael P
Membership
Vacant
-Member Database
Marianne S
Operations
Cindy M
(and to schedule events at the Center)
Program
Dave C
-Resource Room
Walter D
-Center Forums
Marianne S
Volunteer
Meg B & Justine M

374-6934
334-3822
375-3567
838-2367
866-6993
222-8294
595-9799
838-1881
374-6934
222-8294
375-9020

9{,'E'WS & 'V1'E'WS

MlD-TA1RT1£LD
AlDS 1'ROJ£CT
S£RV1l-4G TH£ l-4££1)S Of
TH£ H1V/ AIDS COMMVNlTV 1N:
NORWALK
WESTPORT
N£WCANAAN
W1LTQN
W£STQN
&£ASTON
l'ROVJDING CLIENT SERV1C-£S AND ADVOCACY

MID-f'Al'Rfl£LO AIDS MtOJ£CT
u.RIVERST.

NORWALK, CT ~10
PHONE: (loJ) 111·9JJ1
f AX: (203) 111-1n,
1NT£RN£T: kfft>://www.mfAp.com
£-MAil: mfo@mfap.com
May 1997

Is published monthly by
Triangle Community Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855.
NEWS & VIEWS encourages its readers to submit materials of interest
to our community, including short articles, letters to the editor, etc. We
cannot respond to, or publish, anonymous letters. We reserve the right
to edit or condense as appropriate to meet space requirements. Authors
will be contacted if major revisions are necessary. Please submit to :

NEWS&VIEWS
Michele Stone: Editor & Adv. Mgr.
P.O. Box 8185
Stamford, CT 06905
Phone 316-0333 Fax 964-1133
e-mail: NewsViews2@aol.com

John Delvecchio: Asst Editor
Phone: 203-334-3822
Mike Collins: Publicity
Phone: 203-375-3567

FOR ADVERTISING RATES CONTACT MICHELE STONE:
Ads must be camera-ready. If your ad is not camera
ready or you need help with its layout or design,
contact Michele Stone BEFORE submission. Inserts
and special sizes upon prior agreement. All ads are
placed on a space available basis.
The publication of the name of any person or organization in articles or
advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS is not to be construed as any indication of
the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such organizations.
The appearance of advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS does not imply nor
constitute endorsement by TCC,Inc.
Copyright 1997 by Triangle Community Center, Inc. All rights reserved. This
work, or any parts thereof, may not beused or reproduced in any manner without
written permission.

Page9

The Norwalk Health Department
In cooperation with

~nnouncement

Triangle Community Center
STAMFORD RELIGIOUS SCIENCE CENTER
FOR DYNAMIC LIVING

Proudly Announces
HIV Counseling & Testing Services
Commencing:
February 11, 1997

Sunday Experience 1st and 3rd Sundays, 11 :00 am Tara
Stamford Hotel, 2701 Summer St., Stamford. For information call Linda A. Bardes, Director, (203) 975-5267 .
Information pack available

From 3:30 - 6:30 p.m.
25 Van Zant Street

PAUL D. SCHNEIDER
For Information and an Appointment

Attorney at Law
POBox451
Soubtport, CT 06490-0451
203/255-5520

Please cal/ 855-7979 or 854-7779

NO WALK-INS
(to ensure anonymity and confidentiality)

Adoption
Child Custody Divorce
Partilersliip Agreements

Counselor Karen Gorman, MSW
(Family Therapist)

Our Families Matter

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-

[II]

In /!J!/5, ThresholdJforljaffe was citedas the top produdnffmort!fa!fe
companJbarin!f closed orer I115, fJfJO, fJfJfJ in loans in Fairfield Coun(f
Page JO

T NEWS & VIEWS
DEROSA AGENCY
g ~ - .9B~ - A ~

(203) 256-1122
(800) 628-7209
FAX: (203) 256-1759

362 NORTH STREET
MILFORD, CT 06460
PH.: 878-1779 HM.: 874-1918

JOANN ATTWOOD NEMIS

FAX: 878-2204

VICE PRESIDENT INVESTMENTS

INSURANCE:
LIFE - HEALTH - HOME -AUTO- BUSINESS

REALTOR:
RESIDENTIAL el COMMERCIAL

[B

JANNEY MONTGOMERY SCOTT, INC .
MEMBERS NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE ANO OTHER PRINCIPAL EXCHANGES

2150 POST ROAD, FAIRFIELD, CT 06430

REALTOR'

Specializing in:

Weddings • Comittment Celeb'l.ations
and "Coming-Out" Pa'l.ties
76 Lake Avenue • Danbury, CT 06810

Tel: 730-1400 • Fax: 798-9611

MARY Y. LENNEY, MSW, CADC
Individual / Couples / Group
Turning Points
387 Danbury Rd.
Wilton, CT 06897

(203) 834-2846

LEADING
HOMES.iil

[B

THE BUYERS REAL ESTATE COMPANY

MICHAEL

T. PAVLICIN

IUALTOR"

772 KINGS HIGHWAY WEST

EXCLUSIVE BUYER AGENT
BROKER

SOUTHPORT, CONNECTICUT 06490

FAX/255-3705 HOME/866-6993

203/255-2278

lt:adhome3@aol.com

VICTORIA

Laura L Gates. MSW, LCSW
Individuals, Couples, and Families

7-11 South Broadway, Suite 400
White Plains, NY 10601
(203) 372-9799
(203) 3TM;lml

T.

FERRARA

ATTORNEY AT LAW

(203) 227-9585

1169 Sylvan Avenue
Bridgeport, CT 06606

(203) 372-9799
(203)ZD'141n4

WESTPORT, CT
ADMIITED IN CT AND NY

Your oonlribuliOftl lo IJHU& Y/n,u-....,,. ooialoft. Of wllo•tff-Q#GIMIU, IRloonle. ror bHI
re,ulll. fQH your oopy lo lh• ctdllor el (IOI} 8"46,,1115 o, •ffledl ii lo lew,YielUl@eol.oom.
May 1997

Page JI

T NEWS & VIEWS
Maria C. Castillo, MSW, LCSW

GAY MEN'S GROUP
NOW FORMING

Individual, Couples, and Family Therapy
Recovery from Abuse

Bilingual

• Self Esteem
• Coming Out

(203) 261-3492
Monroe.CT

(203) 336-2708
Bridgeport, CT

• Dating and Relationships
• Building Community

ALDIS

KURT SPERLING, L.c.s.w.

_'11ffi_4_6_~-ill-!!1'-in-R-!-~- --Do-n-bury-,-CT-06_8_11-*
(203)778•9399

SAUGATUCK COUNSELING CENTER
225 MAIN STREET, LL-1
WESTPORT, CT 06880

FAX (203)744•1139

PHONE

203/454· 1549

Three detades of GAY travel expertise
~ RSVP

(Eu/\

Diane Hyatt, MSW, CISW
T Solution-oriented short or longer term
psychotherapy for Adults and Adolescents,

JOANNE M. MARINO, C.C.M.H.C., N.C.C.

specializing in, but not limited to:

PSYCHOTHERAPIST

49 Coolidge Avenue
Stamford, CT 06906
(203) 964-184 7
21 STRICKLAND RD., COS COB, CONN . 06807 (203) 869-0216

1653 Capitol Avenue
Bridgeport. CT 06606
(203) 332--0136

TDepression
T Anxiety
T Post-Traumatic Stress
T Counseling for Partners & Family
T Specialized Psychotherapy Groups
T Case Consultation
T Clinical Supervision

JOSEPH H. SWEENEY, CPA
ATTORNEY-AT LAW

1305 POST ROAD, FAIRFIELD

(ult

SAUGATUCK COUNSELING CENTER

~ l.ii,/d,,a( Co,p/,, Fomily & Gro,p Thmpy

203/256-3839

Tax Planning, Preparation & Appeals;
Estates & Trusts, Probate Matters,

JOHANNA RAYMAN
M.S. W., L.C.S. W.

Real Estate Law; Elder Law; and
Small Business Formations and Assistance

225 MAIN STREET, LL! • WESTPORT, CT 06880 • 203.454.1549

Support our advertisers! Say
you saw it in News & Views!
May 1997

Page 12

Property of the Center

Support our advertisers!
Say you saw it in News & Views!
, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ~ - - - - - - - , r;;:;:::;;:;;;::-"""'."'."""---===:::;:;;::;:::::::;::::;;:::;:::;-:::-:;::;::::=:;;:;;;:::;;;::=====---:i
DR. JEANNE E. CASTELLUCCI
CHIROPRACTOR

rawtrom tbeinsideout,,
a way to look witbit1

,e while moving
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(914) 939-7752

(203) 622-8266

558 Westchester Ave.
Rye Brook, NY 10573

209 Bruce Park Ave.
Greenwich, CT 06830

New Patients & Emergencies: 1-800-651-4879

,.
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~,o••

~

c,.;,f,c,

~,...,

" OIAIIIW M. Rl:DDIEM,
AR'I! T>tUHtAPIST

M .s.

PO BoxH

Fl°AIRP'UU,.o, CT, 04430
T,1:LIFAx; 203/330-1!983

-==----====

Serving Greenwich

Darien,New Ganaan
and Stamford

MICHAEL D. ROME, Esq.
Martin and Rome, LLC
Attorneys-at-Law

888 Washington Blvd.
8th Floor
Stamford CT 06901
(203) 977 -5096
Fax (203) 977-5460

FREE INITIAL HALF
HOUR CONSULTATION

137 Rowayton Avenue (on the Five Mile River)
ROWAYTON, CONNECTICUT06853
Fax (203) 853-6818
(203) 853-6677

20 Charming Rooms
Peace & Privacy

100 Acres • Pool
Hot Tub• Trails

Michelle C. Loris, Ph.D., Psy.D_
Individual, Couple and Group Therapy

T9e

GJfi bland§ GJnn
P.O. Box 118
Bethlehem, NH 03574
(603) 869-3978

(203) 255-2767
By Appointment

Ct. Lie. MFT

R.eal Estate Transactions
Tcuation: Business & Individual
Estate Planning & Probate
Personal l,uury/Accident Law

A LESBIAN PARADISE

c.C.tNCE PSYCHOJ'.£-1

~~~
•i~ltt
~
Licensed Psychologists
~~
Serving Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual People
and their Families

ASSOCIATES
Westchester & Fairfield

Manhattan

914- 763 - 8814

212 - 362 - 5985

Jane

w.Attorney-at-Law
Griffith, JD, MBA

Tax Strategy & Preparation • Real Estate
Estate Planning & Wills • Business Consulting
270AldenAvenue, New Haven, CI'06515-2114

Fax 20.5 I 387-9899

Voice 203 I 389-8614

WHERE ARE WE? The Triangle Community Center Inc. is located at 25 Van Zant Street in Norwalk.
From 1-95, take Exit 16 and go south (from Stamford, turn right; from New Haven, turn left). Continue
south under the railroad bridge and turn right on Van Zant St. (Route 136). 25 Van Zant is a large
condominium office building on the right. TCC is in Suite 7-C on the ground floor, Tel. (203) 853-0600.
May 1997

Page 13

T ~EWS & VIEWS
Calendar
Sun
Apr;n
AA9-10am
OutSpoken 4-6

May, 1997

....

Women's Rap 7:30 .

4
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6
Sunday at Center

15
Women's Rap 7:30

11
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6

112
Women's Rap 7:30

118
AA 9-10 am
Outspoken 4-6

119

25
AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6

126
Women's Rap 7:30

!June 1
12
AA9-10am
Women's Rap 7:30
OutSpoken 4-6
Queens, NY Pride
March & Festival 12:30

Wed

lj

"EDen" ABC TV

40+ Women 7-9
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Women's Chorus,
Hamden8pm

Les Ballets, New Haven
8:00
Women's Chorus,
Hartford 8pm

I

I~

I\/

IIU

P-FLAG7:45

Men's Rap 7:30

N&VDeadline
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Out & About 7-8pm

HIV Couns 3:30-6:30

16
HIV Couns 3:30-6:30
Lesbian Lit Grp 7:30

Mens' Rap 7:30
P-FLAG Spouses & Exspouses 7: 30

Ill

Ill

Center Forum, Fabulous
Parties 7:30
HN Couns 3:30-6:30
Fundraisinly'Spec Events
Comm7:30

HNCouns 3:30-6:30

13
IDV Couns 3:30-6:30
Lesbian Lit Grp 7:30

1.co

ll\l

Bi Rap Grp 7:30
TCC Board 7:30

13

P-FLAG 7:45

DIRECTORY

A.A. - Don 762-9964
Bi Rap Group - Peter 838-2806;Robin 358-8391
Connecticut Business Guild - 225-6464
40+ Womens Group - Judy 227-5566
Free Association of Fairfield County - John 268-8858 x304
Gay Men's Rap Group- Dave 838-1881; John 926-8971
Gmosaic (People of Color) - not currently active call TCC 853-0600
Lesbian Literature Reading Group - Christine, 847-8476
Out & About (Gen.X Group) - Jen 736-6417 or Dan 838-2367
Outspoken (Youth) - Barb 259-8171; Dan 227-1755;
Doug 838-2367
Political Action Group - Michele, 43~-4465; Charlie, 226-8652
P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays) Joan 544-8724; Lester 322-5380; Belinda 855-1203
P-FLAG Spouses & Ex Spouses Group - Joan 544-8724
Triangle Bowling League (Circle Lanes, Fairfield) - Lisa 3333113; Roseann931-8789
Women's Rap Group - Linda 866-4598; Charlie 226-8652
All meetings are held at the Center and in the evening unless
otherwise noted . A $3 donation per person is appreciated with
your participation in activities to help support the Center.

Men's Rap 7:30

T

I'/

"Who is Protecting Our
Rights?" Panel
discussion, TCC l 0-1 pm

l .l4

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
Out & About 7-8pm

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes

131
CT Gay Men's Chorus,
Oakdale Theater,
Wallingford 8:30pm

16

17

!JV

Men's Rap 7:30

14

JO

40+ Women 7-9
Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes
TCC Friendraiser,
Damian & Len's in
Shelton see article
llj

Men's Rap 7:30

GROUPS MEETING AT OR SPONSORED BY TCC

May 1997

ID

14

HNCouns 3:30-6:30
Bi Rap Grp 7:30
Political Action Grp 7:30 TCC Board 7:30

ILi

Sat

Fri
1.c

:..v

(j

Thu
,.....y,
Men's Rap 7:30
Oral Hi story 7: 30

1-':0

'.lV

Women's Rap 7:30 see
article

TELEPHONE

Tues

Mon

Bowling 8:30
Circle Lanes

MEMBERSHIP FORM

MEMBERSHIP LISTS ARE CONFIDENTIAL
NAME _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

ADDRESS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - CITY - - - - - - - - STATE - - - - Z I P - - - PHONE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

CONTRIBUTING MEMBER
CONTRIBUTING HOUSEHOLD
SUPPORTING MEMBER
SPONSORING MEMBER
SusTAINING/Bus1NESS MEMBER
SPECIAL MEMBER (Y OUTHISENIOR)

$35
$60
$125
$250
$500
$20

PLEASE MAKE CHECK PAYABLE TO :

P.O. Box 4062
06855 ATTN: MEMBERSHIP
(203) 853-0600

TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INc.
EAST NORWALK, CT

Page 14