extracted text

Property of the Ce .ter

A p11blicatio11 ofT11lsa Oklahoma11s for H11ma11 Rig Im i,, cooperatio11 with Pare11ts a11d Frie11ds of Lesbiam- and Gaps

Volume 1, Issue 5

ALL
COMMUNITY
MEETING
Make plans now to attend
the CommUNITY meeting
on November 7th in the
Choteau Room of the Alan
Chapman Activity Center on the University
of Tulsa Campus. A short membership
meeting of TOHR will be held from 7:00 to
7:30 p.m. with an open discussion forum
following on issues of concern to the gay,
lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered
communities of northeastern Oklahoma.
Leaders from many of the organizations
listed on the next page will be available to
present a brief synopsis of their organization
and to assist in leading roundtable
discussions. Issues which might be discussed
include: ( 1) unifying the community;
(2) spiritual issues; (3) social events and
activities; (4) finding the "hidden"
community, and; (5) opening the Community
Center.
Everyone's input is extremely important - so
be there to help resolve issues and make
future plans for your community.
Individuals, business owners, organizational
representatives, and friends of the community
are all invited to attend as we work together
to bring Unity to our Community.

November 1995
Everyone is also invited to attend the TOHR
membership meeting prior to the Community
Meeting. If you've not been involved in
TOHR, this would be a great time to find out
what it's all about. If you were involved years
ago, get back involved now. If you've
remained a member but haven't attended a
meeting recently, please join us.
TOHR has set many goals which will benefit
the gay, lesbian, bisexual , and transgendered
communities of northeastern Oklahoma .
Your help is needed in reaching those goals.
Committees for the upcoming year will soon
be formed. Think seriously about working on
a committee. Whether it be the
program/ activity committee, the Community
Center committee, the newsletter committee,
the Pride Picnic Committee, or a fund raising
event committee, you will know that you
have played an important role in making
northeastern Oklahoma a great place to live.
Simply put, Tulsa's oldest organization
serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgendered individuals needs you. ~h

PFLAGNEWS
TOHR Clinic News

Upcoming Events
Community Organizations
From Your President
A Call for Action and Help
TOHR Annual Holiday Dinner

Community Organizations
Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay Alliance: T.U. student
organization. Call 583-9780 for info
Bless the Lord at All Times Christian Center. Call
583-7815 for info.
Community of Hope: A Shalom Community of the
United Methodist Church. Leslie Penrose, Pastor.
Call 585-1800 for info .
Dignity /Integrity of Tulsa: Lesbian/ Gay Catholics
and Episcopalians. For info call 298-4648.
Family of Faith Metropolitan Community Church:
Exists to call the Tulsa community to life through the
liberating gospel of Jesus Christ. Nancy Horvath,
Pastor. Call 622-1441 for info .

Tulsa Family Chorale: Choral group that performs at
various gay/ lesbian community events. Male and
female voices needed. Call 749-1563 for info.
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights: Tulsa's oldest
organization serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgendered communities . Call 743-GAYS for info .
T.U.L.S.A. - Tulsa Uniform and Leather Seekers
Call 838-1222 for info
Women's Supper Club: Exactly what it says. Meets
on a monthly basis for supper. Call 298-4648 for info .
If we have fail ed to include your organizatio n, we apologize . Future
informati on 10 be included in this or similar listings should he se nt to
Co mmunity News. P .O . Box 52729 , Tulsa . OK 74152 or faxed to
9 18-584-4541. Submissio n deadline is th e 15th of every month .

F.U.S.O.: Write to P.O .B. 8542, Tulsa, Oklahoma
74101 for info.

Help us fill OUR Community Center by
sending in your contribution TODAY!

Green Country Pride: Exists to improve quality of life
in Green Country for gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgendered individuals . Call 583-1248 for info.

Monthly Pledges

PFLAG -Parent, Friends, and Families of Lesbians
and Gays: Support groups and educational programs
Call 749-490 I for info .
Metropolitan Community Church of Greater Tulsa:
Where God uplifts all people . Call 838-1715 for info .
Primetimers: An educational and social group for
"mature" gay men. Meet monthly . Write P.O. Box
52118, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104
Rainbow Business Guild: A social forum for Lesbian
and Gay or Gay friendly business owners. Call 6655174
St. Jerome Ecumenical Catholic Church: An
independent Catholic Church founded for the gay and
lesbian community and affirming to all people. Call
Rick Hollingsworth at 742-7122 for info .
SW AN - Single Women's Activity Network: Call
832 -2121 for info.
Technicians Leather Club: Call 584-1308 for info .

0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0

$100
$75
$50
$45
$40
$35
$20
$10

Center Stage
One time donations
0 $2 ,500-$5 ,000
0 $1,500-$2,499
0 $ 750-$1,499
0 $ 300-$ 749
0 $ 100-$ 299

Other

Please mark your chosen pledge or donation
category, detach and mail to : tohr, P.O. Box
52729, Tulsa, OK 74152
Please include your name and address, so
that we may thank you properly.

All contributor's names and information are held
in the strictest confidence

PFLAG

PAGE 1

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
November 1995

Volume IV
Newsletter of the Tulsa Chapter of Parents, Family, and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays
Help line (918) 749-4901
P.O. Box 52800 Tulsa, OK 74152
Regular Meetings Second Monday of the Month
Lynn Mostoller, editor

Number 11

NOVEMBER MEETING

CALENDAR

Monday, November 13, 1995
Quadrangle Building
4154 South Harvard
Suite H
Look for the entrance on the north side of the building-"The Gathering Place"
fl~~~~g lM011~ 11~~ lM~W 11!M~ ~~~~[Q)llJl~
@g~@ □ r~~@ lPITi10
PFLAG 101 and PFLAG 102
PFLAG Family Aids Support Group
PF LAG 101 is a group designed to support new parents and
members as they begin their journey to accepting and supporting
their lesbian and gay loved ones.
PF LAG 102 is a new group for those who have "graduated" from
PFLAG 101, but who would like to meet in a small, supportive setting
to discuss matters and topics on a more personal level than is
sometimes possible in the larger, general meeting. Everyone is
invited to attend.
PFLAG FAMILY AIDS SUPPORT GROUP offers resource
information and continuous peer to peer support for families dealing
with HIV/AIDS. The group will also serve as an entry point to PFLAG
for families facing several new issues at once. See pg 4 for more
details.
SPOUSES, led by Carolyn Wood, is a new group forming to
support straight spouses of gays and lesbians.

@g~@ □ 'yg~@ [PITi10
Social and Refreshments
'y g~@ [PITi10
General Meeting & Program
TOMMY CHESBRO, AIDS educator for the Indian Health
Care Resource Center, will be our guest speaker. He recently
gave a moving speech at the closing ceremonies of the Names
Project Quilt display in Tulsa. He will his share stories from
working with the AIDS/HIV community.

NOVEMBER 8, 1995 (Wednesday)
Project Open Mind Press Conference
Aaronson Auditorium
Tulsa Central Library
400 Civic Center
1:30 pm
NOVEMBER 11, 1995
Special Benefit Performance for
Interfaith AIDS Ministries
"The Long Way 'Round To Ninevah" the
Jonah story.
St. Luke's Episcopal Church
2pm &7pm
Call 438-2437 or 663-5372 for ticket
information.
NOVEMBER 13, 1995 (Monday)
PFLAG General Meeting
See left for details.
DECEMBER 1, 1995 (Friday)
World AIDS Day
Sharp Chapel (TU Campus)
6:30 pm
See page 4 for details.
DECEMBER 11, 1995 (Monday)
PFLAG Holiday Potluck Dinner.
All Souls Unitarian Church
29th and Peoria
6:30 pm
See details in next month' s newsletter.
FEBRUARY 10, 1996
Metro Men's Chorus
Hope Unitarian Church
84th & Sheridan
Ticket Price: $10.00
8:00 pm
Happy

Than ks giving!!!

PAGE2

PFLAG

Project Open Mind

Out and About:
Wear a rainbow, a
discreet symbol of gay
pride, as a pin, sticker,
or luggage tag. If
someone asks you
about it, you can say
you support equal
rights for all people, or
you can be more
specific.

Tulsa, OK, has been chosen as one of three cities (along with Atlanta, GA,
and Houston, TX) to pilot Project Open Mind. This project, designed and
supported by PFLAG's National Organization, will focus on addressing the
homophobia that exists in a community. Through a multimedia (radio, TV,
print, forums, speaking engagements, etc.) educational program we hope to
reach Tulsa's "mushy middle" on gay/lesbian/bi issues. Tulsa's PFLAG
chapter can look forward to special media training, materials for TV and
radio, and access to national staff support.

Get Me Jesus on the
Line.

On Friday, October 20, about 100 people walked together over Tulsa's Martin Luther
King Bridge and up Greenwood to UCaT, with banners promoting diversity and
tolerance and calling for an end to hatred and hate crimes. The event was covered by
local media. Gathered inside UCaT, the group, which included three survivors of the
Tulsa race riots, several youth from the Anytown , Oklahoma interracial summer camp,
eight PFLAG members, and many others, listened to representatives from member
groups of the "Say No to Hate Coalition" speak out against racism, xenophobia, and
religious intolerance. As the final speaker, Ric Kirby did us proud. He told movingly of
hi s personal encounter with hatred when he was violently gay-bashed in Tulsa in 1989.
His talk, which was warmly received, prompted a young male listener to ask with
emotion what he can do as he sits by and listens to friends put down another good friend
of his for being gay. The gathering ended on a hopeful note in a call to action.

Lifeline, a long-distance
telephone service, was
founded by Jesus Christ,
says one of its earthly cofounders, Carl Thompson.
The OK City company bills
$6 million a month in the
Lord's name, renting
established lines, but says it
will have tts own in four
years. AT&T is "the Devil,"
Thompson says, because ft
"helps gays and lesbians."
Lifeline donates 20% of
profrts to the Founder--to
"conquer the world in the
name of Jesus." --New York Times
Magazine, August 27, 1995.

Say No to Racism and Hate Crimes

Are You a PFLAG Member?
Hopefully, you feel that our organization is worth supporting and that you
enjoy receiving this newsletter. This organization has continued to grow
because there are people out there who need the support PFLAG offers. As
an organization, we are completely staffed by volunteers. Your
membership fee is not a luxury to us--it is essential for our survival.
Please use the form below to renew your membership with PFLAG Tulsa.

FINAL NOTICE:
1995/1996 Dues Are Due!!!
(Clip and Mail

t,o

PFLAG, PO Box 52800, Tulsa, OK 74152)

MEMBERSHIPS:
_ _ _ _Individual membership

$20.00

_ _ _ _Household membership $30.00
_ _ _ _ Supporting membership $50.00
_ _ _ _ Gift for the ongoing support of the Tulsa
PFLAG Chapter
Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City: _ __ _ _ ___ St: _ _ ZIP:
Phone: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

$8.00 of your dues will be sent to National PFLAG to
enable you to receive the FLAGPOLE, the national
quarterly newsletter. The PFLAG pole is mailed to your
home. If you do not want receive the newsletter at your
hove, please check the box _ _ . The words, "Parents,
Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: will appear on
the return address of the PFLAG Pole.
VOLUNTEER WITH YOUR TIME AND
ENERGY ...... INDICATE IN WHAT AREA YOU WILL
WANT TO WORK.
_ _ Program

_ _ Library

_ _ Hospitality

____ Funding

Hot line

_ _Support Group

Your participation will enable us to further our goals SUPPORT - EDUCATION -ADVOCACY

PAGE3

PFLAG

Oklahoma
Congressional
Delegation
U.S. Senator Don Nickles
133 Hart
U.S. Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
202-224-5754

3310 Mid-Continent Tower
409 So. Boston
Tulsa, OK 74103
918-581 -7651
U.S. Senator Jim Inhofe
453 Russell
U.S. Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
202-224-4721
1924 So. Utica, Suite 530
Tulsa, OK 74104
918-748-5111
U.S. Rep. Steve Largent
410Cannon
U.S. House of Reps.
Washington, D.C. 20515
202-225-2211
2424 East 21st, Suite 510
Tulsa, OK 74114
918-749-0014
U.S.Rep. Tom Coburn
511 Cannon
U .5. House of Reps.
Washington, D.C. 20515
202-225-2701

215 State Street, Suite 815
Muskogee, OK 74401
918-687-2533

Gays, Nazis & Facts
It is no secret that the average radio and TV evangelist is .a notorious
manipulator of the facts, and some, such as Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson,
tell blatant lies.
Recently on the 700 Club, Robertson said: "When lawlessness is abroad
in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany.
Many of the people involved in Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many were
homosexuals--the two things seem to go together."
As usual Robertson makes it up as he goes along.
Hitler, who dreamed of being a Catholic priest, was virulently antihomosexual. Paragraph 175 of his German criminal code called for
imprisonment of"any male who commits lewd and lascivious acts with
another male." (There are recorded arrests of females as well.)
Of the estimated 100,000 homosexuals sent to death camps, more than
60% perished. They were required to wear a pink triangle to mark them as
homosexuals. (Heinz Hege, The Men With the Pink Triangles, 1972.)
Why does Robertson lie?
It is part of the demonization process that works so well on the Religious
Right. It is ironic that the same technique was used by the Nazis. First they
had to demonize the Jews so there would be no great outcry when they were
eliminated. The same technique was used on gays, the mentally and
physically challenged and finally the liberal clergy.
Homophobia is a sure-fire fund raiser for Robertson, Falwell, James
Dobson, James Hagee and D. James Kennedy. If you doubt it give a listen.
The Oklahoma Observer, September 10, 1995.

Human Rights Campaign Debuts Web Site
This month, the Human Rights Campaign debuts its new site on the World
Wide Web, designed to provide users with the up-to-the-minute information
they need to communicate with congress on a regular basis. the addresses
http://www.hrcusa.org. Users enter their zip code and their members of
Congress are displayed with up-to-the-minute voting records on gay and
AIDS-related issues. Special instructions are displayed if the member
requires special action because of committee membership, or sponsorship or
lack of sponsorship of a particular bill.

PFLAG Members Involved in Quilt Display
This October 13 through 15 a portion of the NAMES project AIDS Memorial Quilt was
displayed at Tulsa's Expo Square Pavilion on the state fairgrounds. The display included
over one hundred sections of Quilt, each measuring twelve feel square. Those who
attended found themselves wrapped in Quilt, with panels draping the entire circumference
of the Pavilion. Tulsa PFLAG members assisted in the event by volunteering on folding
and unfolding teams at the opening and closing ceremonies, and serving as quilt monitors
throughout the weekend. Chapter members Nancy and Joe McDonald, and Carolyn
Wood participated in reading the names of those memorialized by the Quilt. The next
major display in Tulsa is scheduled for 1997. Anyone wanting to become more involved
should contact: The NAMES Project Tulsa Area Chapter, 4154 S. Harvard,
Suite H-1, Tulsa, OK, 74135, (918) 748-3111.

PAGE4

PFLAG

ABOUT PFLAG
Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and
Gays (PH.AG) is a not for profit, tax exempt, all
volunteer, community-based organization of
parents, other relatives and friends of lesbian
and gay persons. PFLAG is not affiliated with
any ethnic, religious or political group.
PFLAG/ Tulsa is a member of the international
federation of the same name.
OUR PURPOSES AND GOALS ARE TO:
T Provide a support system for families and

friends of lesbians and gay men in an effort to
understand, accept and support their children
with love and pride,
T Provide education for individuals and the
community at large on the nature of
homosexuality, and
T Support the full human and civil rights of
lesbians and gay men.

World AIDS Day
December 11 1995
Tulsa's Sixth Annual World AIDS Day
Candlelight March and Memorial Service,
sponsored by Interfaith AIDS Ministries (IAM)
will be held on Friday, December 1, 1995.
Participants will gather in the plaza north of
Sharp Chapel on the Campus of the University.I
Tulsa at 6:30 pm and will march to the Great
Hall in the Alan Chapman Activity Center where
there will be a memorial service followed by a
reception.
Organizations are encouraged to bring
banners; participants are asked to bring bells of
some kind. Candles and matches will be
provided. All are invited to participate.
Join Interfaith AIDS Ministries in
remembering those infected with and affected by
HIV and those who have died of AIDS. the 1995
march route will be lined with luminaries
displaying the names of those we remember in
our prayers on World AIDS Day. The luminaries
will be provided by IAM and will be available at
the reception following the service. Contributions
for the luminaries are requested, but not required.
For more information or to submit a name,
please call 438-2437 or 1-800-284-2437.
(Deadline for requests will be Monday, November
20, 1995.)

Family AIDS Support Group:
New Format
Beginning in November, the PFLAG Family AIDS
Support Group will meet at 6:30pm on the second
Monday of the month, directly before the general
PFLAG meeting. This group will offer resource
information and continuous peer to peer support for
families dealing with IITV/AIDS. The group will also
serve as an entry point to PFLAG for families facing
several new issues at once. Those attending are
welcome and encouraged to also attend the PFLAG
meeting.

COLAGE:
Children of Lesbian and Gays
Everywhere
COLAGE (Children of Lesbian and Gays Everywhere) is
the first and only national organization for young kids with
lesbian and gay parents.
"The most pressing problem facing kids with lesbian
and gay parents is our isolation," says Suzanne Pullen,
COLAGE's Administrative Assistant and the daughter of a
lesbian mother. "It isn't about an adult world of politics,
it's about a kids' world of connecting and making friends
who understand. It exposes kids all over the world to a
community they are a product and part of, in a way that
they can relate to."
The American Bar Association estimates there are
upwards of 8 million sons and daughters of lesbian and gay
parents in the US alone. Hundreds of thousands of these
kids are under 10. Despite these enormous members,
books for kids with lesbian and gay parents, such as Daddys
Roommate and Heather Has Two Mommies, are one of the
most censored genre, being pulled from the shelves of
libraries all over the country by member of the religious
right who don't understand that lesbian and gay people can
and do make loving families.
COLAGE was created six years ago by children of
lesbian and gay parents, focusing on the needs of teenagers.
Over a year ago, a number of parents and younger kids
approached COLAGE to ask for something for younger kids,
out of which grew the COLA GE Kids Club. COLAGE work to
build self-esteem early on and helps kids develop tools to
deal with homophobia that children of lesbians and gays
face.
For further information on this group ( which has over
a thousand members), contact: COLAGE; 2300 Market
Street #165; San Francisco, CA 94114.
Phone: ( 41 5) 861-5437; fax: ( 41 5) 255-8345;
email: Kidsofgays@aol.com.

P, operty of the Cm.Qr

PROJECT OPEN MIND
UPDATE-

Thanks to all of you for participating in the training sessions for Project Open
Mind. We have scheduled another training for Saturday, November 11, 9:00 a.m. to
noon. If you are interested in participating, please call for location. (We need to
know the number of persons participating before we c a ~ ) . PFLAG has sent us
additional "talking points''so for those persons who are willing to be listed on the
Speakers Bureau, if you will let me know, I will get packets of information to you.
Please call 749-4901 or 742-8565.
The PRESS CONFERENCE is scheduled for Wednesday, November 8, 1995. at
1:30 p.m. in the Aronson Room, Lower Level, Tulsa City County Library,
Downtown, 5th and Denver. We hope the room is filled, so please come and bring
friends that will stand with us as we make the announcement about PROJECT
OPENMIND.

We will begin immediately to schedule presentations. If you can open a door for us to
a church, organization, business,etc. Please call 749-4901 and leave a message,
someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
We thank each of you that have given financial gifts to Project Open Mind. Media
buys are very expensive and we do not want our ads to run at three in the morning.
Your gifts have also helped to buy additional materials that will be needed for
presentations. Thank your. If you want to give and have not yet had the
opportunity, please call Nancy at 742-8565 or send your gift to PFLAG, P.O. Box
52800, Tulsa, OK 74152. Gifts to PFLAG are tax deductible.

tolij?

-----------------

CALL 10 AC. IO~
A. ,ALL f()R HELP
Your help is needed NOW! Together we can
stop "HIV/AIDS associational employment
discrimination" in Tulsa (and perhaps the United
States) by helping ensure a victory for the first
human rights case of its kind .
What makes this case so special to you? The
HIV/AIDS associational employment
discrimination happened right here in Tulsa,
Oklahoma. All of us (partners, coworkers,
friends, parents, children) are at risk of
experiencing prejudice and losing our jobs
because we care for a loved one living with
HIV or AIDS.
The facts: One of our own was suspended and
eventually lost his job simply because of his
association with an HIV positive partner (who is
now deceased) . The Plaintiff was and continues
to be HIV negative. The evidence supports that
the Plaintiff, who is known to many in our
community, lost his job because the Defendant
(the owner and operator of a well-known
restaurant) acquiesced to the prejudice and
irrational fears of his customers. Allegedly,
customers complained after another customer of
the restaurant asked the Plaintiff about the health
status of his partner.
This case is about enforcing the rights we
already have under the law. The facts of this
case fully support the first "AIDS-associational"
case to go to trial in the United States since the
passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act
(ADA) in I 990 .

The ADA is a federal law that protects the rights
of the disabled. It makes illegal any
discrimination against an employee because
he/she is regarded as having a disability (for
example, you experience discrimination because
someone thinks you might be HIV positive) or
b~cause he/she has an association or relationship
with someone who has a disability (for example,
you experience discriminatory treatment because
you associate with someone who is known or
thought to be living with HIV or AIDS). The
ADA also makes it illegal to retaliate against any
employee because he/she has opposed an illegal
practice.

There are significant financial needs in
bringing this case to trial that cannot be paid
by the Plaintiff. In particular, to help ensure a
victory, the Plaintiffs attorneys have strongly
recommended that a specialized consultant be
hired to : (I) guide the jury selection process so
as to select as fair and non-biased a jury as is
possible in Tulsa, Oklahoma; and (2) to skillfully
frame the issues on this sensitive and
controversial topic.
How you can help. The costs for these services
are expected to be $7500.00. None of this
money will go to the Plaintiffs lawyers. Should
you decide that you want to help win this case
for the Plaintiff and all of us, please send your
tax deductible donation payable to: Legal
AID -AIDS Project at 1350 East 15th Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74120. If you wish to gain '
more information regarding this case or how you
can help, contact Marilyn lhloff at 587-2566 . Fb

Upcoming Events

Clinic News

Red Ribbon Treefest

The tohr HIV Testing Clinic is in desperate
need of computers (even one would be
helpful). H you or someone you know
~
would be interested
in donating a
~
computer or the
.~
money to buy one,
please call Claudette
at (918) 742-2927.

The Treefest is an annual event where decorated
holiday trees are auctioned to raise funds for local
organizations serving persons with HIV/ AIDS .
Funds raised through the 1995 auction will benefit the

*

HIV Resource Consortium (to
purchase prescription drugs) and
the Interfaith AIDS Ministries (to
help pay for their AIDS
information telephone line.)

The 1995 Red Ribbon Treefest will be held at The
Spotlight Theatre, 1318 Riverside Drive. The 1995 tree
viewing reception will begin at 4:00 p.m. with the
auction following at 5:30 p.m. on December 3, 1995.
For more information contact a member of the
Treefest Committee: Steven at 663-5372, Linda at 4816067 or Aaron at 492-7438. •

"The Long Way 'Round to Ninevah"
The Jonah story in song and dance will be presented
by the parish family of St. Luke's Episcopal Church,
Bartlesville, Oklahoma at All
Souls Unitarian Church, 2952 S.
Peoria on Saturday, November
11, 1995. The Matinee
performance (2:00 p.m.) and
evening performance (7 :00 p.m.)
will benefit the Interfaith AIDS
Ministries . For ticket information call 438-2437 or
663-5372 .

World AIDS Day
Tulsa's Sixth Annual W arid AIDS Day Candlelight
March and Memorial Service, sponsored by the
Interfaith AIDS Ministries, will be held on December
1, I 995 . Participants will gather in the plaza north of
Sharp Chapel on the University of Tulsa Campus at
6:30 p.m. and march to the Great Hall
in the Alan Chapman Activity Center.
Organizations are encouraged to bring
banners and participants are asked to
bring bells of some kind. Candles will
be provided. The memorial service will be followed by
a reception. For more information call 438-2437 .

Positively Negative
Positively negative, a co-facilitated dialogue
for HIV negative gay and bisexual men will
start its second session in December. The first
group was well received and the second
group is expected to fill-up fast. If you are
interested in participating, please call Jason at
(918) 742-2927. RJ

The Name Game
The tohr HIV Testing Clinic is asking for
your help in choosing a catchy new name for
the clinic. If you have a brilliant idea for a
new name for the clinic, call Claudette at
742-2927 or send your entry by mail to P.O.
Box 2687, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74101. (Be sure
to include your name along
with your suggestion for the
clinic name.)
Names must be submitted by
November 30, 1995. The new
name will be announced at the Holiday
Dinner. The individual who suggested the
name will receive a special prize in addition
to a free year's membership in tohr. RJ

Unwili1U[11~1fii~imi1~[1i mmm1r OK
M 001 111 449

P,·operty of the Center

to"t:
---------------------:from Your

President
Vuring a recent visit to
:Mem_phis I had the
o_p_portunity to visit their
Community Center. What a
great _pface ! .'A gen t[eman at the Center
took the time to give me a tour and ta[k
with me a6out their community. The
6udget is a6out s18,oon.oo yer year ancf
they have a6out 1800 square feet with no
_paid staff They have a T.V. ~oom where
they show movies every :Jricfay night, a
(encfing lr6rnry, and each Saturaay they
have a coffee house with five music. They
don't nave any outreach _prngrams 6ut do
a[fow other organizations to use tfze
Center, a smarrfee is involve£ They have
had·a Center since 1988 and this is their
3rdfocation and the 6est to-date, I was
to(cf. What they have a [ack of is vo[unteen
to staff and_partici_pate in the Center
activities. Overn([ I was very im_pressed
and excited to see a Center in good
o_pernting order.
This of coune 6rings me to my vision for
Tufsa's Center. We are a city a6out the size
of :Memphis andshou[d6e a6[e to su_p_port a
Center equa[ to or forger than the in. What
I saw in :Mem_phis ancf have seen here in
Tufsa is a [ack of vo[unteers to make things
ha_p_pen. TO:J-f'R current[y needs vo[unteers
to staff our he[pGne. This is a very sma[(
commitment requiring a two hour shift
each month. We need to Ji(( ten _positions as
soon as _possi6(e. Our [ack of_partici_pation
in staffing the he(prine makes me a Gtt[e
concerned a6out hm-v we wi[[ staff a
Community Center when it is o_pen/ What
we need is more _particiyation from the

Les6ian, 'Bisexua( and(jay community in
Tufsa ancfsurrnuncfing areas. 'By
_partici_pating in TO:J-f'R you can he(p 6ring
a6out _positive change for our community.
1'artici_pation in TO:J-f1{ events is a great
way to meet _peo_p[e and_put a smifingface
on our community for visitors and
ne1-vcomers.

Tufsa, we have some very exciting things
ha_p_pening within the Les6ian, 'Bisexua[
and(jay community ana each and
everyone of you cou[d6e an integra[ _part
of these advances. We need your su_p_port in
unifying our community to create change.
It's easy to sit at home and say, '1'[( go to
the next event or meeting", 6ut each event
6Yings o_p_portunity to _partici_pate in
creating change and we neea your
_particiyation. There are fots of ways you
can su_p_port TO:J-f1{. (jive us a ca[[, or 6etter
yet attend a meeting. I 6eueve you wi[[ 6e
_p[easant[y sur_prisea6y how much fun is
awaiting you.
Let's unffy our community ant£ create
_positive cfzange for every Les6ian, 'Bisexua(
ant£ (jay _person in Northeastern
Ok[ahoma. See you soon!
Tim

HIV Testing Clinic
4158 S. Harvard, Suite E-2
918 742-2927
Free and anonymous finger-stick method
Walk-In Clinic No Appointment Required
Monday and Thursday Evening
Testing 7:00. 9:00 PM
Daytime Testing By Appointment
Monday through Thursday
10:00 AM. 5:00 PM

to~
-------------------------------TO:JfX
~:NV_'AL

:J{0 LIV.Jl Y

1JINNTX
The Annual TOHR Holiday Dinner has been
scheduled for December 8, 1995 at All Souls
Unitarian Church. The night promises to be a
w~mderful evening featuring good food,
fnends, and entertainment, as well as the
annual auction.

1996 Candidates for
TOHR Executive Board
The Nominating Committee presented the
following list of candidates during the
October Board meeting:
President - Debbie Starnes
First Vice-President - Mariam Childers
Second Vice-President - Rob Hill
Secretary - Sue Minshall
Treasurer - Pam Pretz

TOHR will be providing the entree for the
dinner. Everyone attending is asked to bring
an accompanying dish in accordance with the
following list:

Elections will be held during the November
7th general meeting ofTOHR- 7:00pm in
the Choteau Room at the Alan Chapman
Activity Center on the TU campus. Fb

First letter of last name

Has your membership expired or have you
just discovered tohr? If so, join tohr today!

A-I
J-Q
R-Z

type of dish
veggies
desserts
salads

The evening will begin with
a social hour at 6:30 p.m.,
followed by the dinner at
7:00pm.

The Board of TOHR
invites everyone to join in
celebrating the holidays with their extended
community family. RJ

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED
Volunteers are still needed to help answer
Tulsa's only Helpline for gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered
•
communities. If you feel you
can give a few hours a month
to help with this important
service, call 743-GA YS and
leave a message for the
Helpline Coordinator. Pi

Although memberships arc due on August 1, 1995 , tohr
gratefully accepts memberships throughout the year. If
you've not sent your membership - please do so today
and invite a friend to join you!

TOHR Membership
Please detach and mail lo: P .0 . Box 52729 , Tulsa , OK
. 74152
Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address: _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City :_ _ _--'State_;_Zi p.:__
Phone: _ __ _ _ _ _ __
Signature.~·_ _ _ _ _ __
D $1() Limited Income/Student Membership
D $20 Regular Membership
D $35 Organizational/I lousehold Membership
D $ 100 Sustaining Membership

0 I am currently receiving tohr mailings
0 I am not on the mailing list
0 Please contact me about volunteering



Property of the Ce .ter

A p11blicatio11 ofT11lsa Oklahoma11s for H11ma11 Rig Im i,, cooperatio11 with Pare11ts a11d Frie11ds of Lesbiam- and Gaps

Volume 1, Issue 5

ALL
COMMUNITY
MEETING
Make plans now to attend
the CommUNITY meeting
on November 7th in the
Choteau Room of the Alan
Chapman Activity Center on the University
of Tulsa Campus. A short membership
meeting of TOHR will be held from 7:00 to
7:30 p.m. with an open discussion forum
following on issues of concern to the gay,
lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered
communities of northeastern Oklahoma.
Leaders from many of the organizations
listed on the next page will be available to
present a brief synopsis of their organization
and to assist in leading roundtable
discussions. Issues which might be discussed
include: ( 1) unifying the community;
(2) spiritual issues; (3) social events and
activities; (4) finding the "hidden"
community, and; (5) opening the Community
Center.
Everyone's input is extremely important - so
be there to help resolve issues and make
future plans for your community.
Individuals, business owners, organizational
representatives, and friends of the community
are all invited to attend as we work together
to bring Unity to our Community.

November 1995
Everyone is also invited to attend the TOHR
membership meeting prior to the Community
Meeting. If you've not been involved in
TOHR, this would be a great time to find out
what it's all about. If you were involved years
ago, get back involved now. If you've
remained a member but haven't attended a
meeting recently, please join us.
TOHR has set many goals which will benefit
the gay, lesbian, bisexual , and transgendered
communities of northeastern Oklahoma .
Your help is needed in reaching those goals.
Committees for the upcoming year will soon
be formed. Think seriously about working on
a committee. Whether it be the
program/ activity committee, the Community
Center committee, the newsletter committee,
the Pride Picnic Committee, or a fund raising
event committee, you will know that you
have played an important role in making
northeastern Oklahoma a great place to live.
Simply put, Tulsa's oldest organization
serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgendered individuals needs you. ~h

PFLAGNEWS
TOHR Clinic News

Upcoming Events
Community Organizations
From Your President
A Call for Action and Help
TOHR Annual Holiday Dinner

Community Organizations
Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay Alliance: T.U. student
organization. Call 583-9780 for info
Bless the Lord at All Times Christian Center. Call
583-7815 for info.
Community of Hope: A Shalom Community of the
United Methodist Church. Leslie Penrose, Pastor.
Call 585-1800 for info .
Dignity /Integrity of Tulsa: Lesbian/ Gay Catholics
and Episcopalians. For info call 298-4648.
Family of Faith Metropolitan Community Church:
Exists to call the Tulsa community to life through the
liberating gospel of Jesus Christ. Nancy Horvath,
Pastor. Call 622-1441 for info .

Tulsa Family Chorale: Choral group that performs at
various gay/ lesbian community events. Male and
female voices needed. Call 749-1563 for info.
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights: Tulsa's oldest
organization serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgendered communities . Call 743-GAYS for info .
T.U.L.S.A. - Tulsa Uniform and Leather Seekers
Call 838-1222 for info
Women's Supper Club: Exactly what it says. Meets
on a monthly basis for supper. Call 298-4648 for info .
If we have fail ed to include your organizatio n, we apologize . Future
informati on 10 be included in this or similar listings should he se nt to
Co mmunity News. P .O . Box 52729 , Tulsa . OK 74152 or faxed to
9 18-584-4541. Submissio n deadline is th e 15th of every month .

F.U.S.O.: Write to P.O .B. 8542, Tulsa, Oklahoma
74101 for info.

Help us fill OUR Community Center by
sending in your contribution TODAY!

Green Country Pride: Exists to improve quality of life
in Green Country for gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgendered individuals . Call 583-1248 for info.

Monthly Pledges

PFLAG -Parent, Friends, and Families of Lesbians
and Gays: Support groups and educational programs
Call 749-490 I for info .
Metropolitan Community Church of Greater Tulsa:
Where God uplifts all people . Call 838-1715 for info .
Primetimers: An educational and social group for
"mature" gay men. Meet monthly . Write P.O. Box
52118, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104
Rainbow Business Guild: A social forum for Lesbian
and Gay or Gay friendly business owners. Call 6655174
St. Jerome Ecumenical Catholic Church: An
independent Catholic Church founded for the gay and
lesbian community and affirming to all people. Call
Rick Hollingsworth at 742-7122 for info .
SW AN - Single Women's Activity Network: Call
832 -2121 for info.
Technicians Leather Club: Call 584-1308 for info .

0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0

$100
$75
$50
$45
$40
$35
$20
$10

Center Stage
One time donations
0 $2 ,500-$5 ,000
0 $1,500-$2,499
0 $ 750-$1,499
0 $ 300-$ 749
0 $ 100-$ 299

Other

Please mark your chosen pledge or donation
category, detach and mail to : tohr, P.O. Box
52729, Tulsa, OK 74152
Please include your name and address, so
that we may thank you properly.

All contributor's names and information are held
in the strictest confidence

PFLAG

PAGE 1

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
November 1995

Volume IV
Newsletter of the Tulsa Chapter of Parents, Family, and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays
Help line (918) 749-4901
P.O. Box 52800 Tulsa, OK 74152
Regular Meetings Second Monday of the Month
Lynn Mostoller, editor

Number 11

NOVEMBER MEETING

CALENDAR

Monday, November 13, 1995
Quadrangle Building
4154 South Harvard
Suite H
Look for the entrance on the north side of the building-"The Gathering Place"
fl~~~~g lM011~ 11~~ lM~W 11!M~ ~~~~[Q)llJl~
@g~@ □ r~~@ lPITi10
PFLAG 101 and PFLAG 102
PFLAG Family Aids Support Group
PF LAG 101 is a group designed to support new parents and
members as they begin their journey to accepting and supporting
their lesbian and gay loved ones.
PF LAG 102 is a new group for those who have "graduated" from
PFLAG 101, but who would like to meet in a small, supportive setting
to discuss matters and topics on a more personal level than is
sometimes possible in the larger, general meeting. Everyone is
invited to attend.
PFLAG FAMILY AIDS SUPPORT GROUP offers resource
information and continuous peer to peer support for families dealing
with HIV/AIDS. The group will also serve as an entry point to PFLAG
for families facing several new issues at once. See pg 4 for more
details.
SPOUSES, led by Carolyn Wood, is a new group forming to
support straight spouses of gays and lesbians.

@g~@ □ 'yg~@ [PITi10
Social and Refreshments
'y g~@ [PITi10
General Meeting & Program
TOMMY CHESBRO, AIDS educator for the Indian Health
Care Resource Center, will be our guest speaker. He recently
gave a moving speech at the closing ceremonies of the Names
Project Quilt display in Tulsa. He will his share stories from
working with the AIDS/HIV community.

NOVEMBER 8, 1995 (Wednesday)
Project Open Mind Press Conference
Aaronson Auditorium
Tulsa Central Library
400 Civic Center
1:30 pm
NOVEMBER 11, 1995
Special Benefit Performance for
Interfaith AIDS Ministries
"The Long Way 'Round To Ninevah" the
Jonah story.
St. Luke's Episcopal Church
2pm &7pm
Call 438-2437 or 663-5372 for ticket
information.
NOVEMBER 13, 1995 (Monday)
PFLAG General Meeting
See left for details.
DECEMBER 1, 1995 (Friday)
World AIDS Day
Sharp Chapel (TU Campus)
6:30 pm
See page 4 for details.
DECEMBER 11, 1995 (Monday)
PFLAG Holiday Potluck Dinner.
All Souls Unitarian Church
29th and Peoria
6:30 pm
See details in next month' s newsletter.
FEBRUARY 10, 1996
Metro Men's Chorus
Hope Unitarian Church
84th & Sheridan
Ticket Price: $10.00
8:00 pm
Happy

Than ks giving!!!

PAGE2

PFLAG

Project Open Mind

Out and About:
Wear a rainbow, a
discreet symbol of gay
pride, as a pin, sticker,
or luggage tag. If
someone asks you
about it, you can say
you support equal
rights for all people, or
you can be more
specific.

Tulsa, OK, has been chosen as one of three cities (along with Atlanta, GA,
and Houston, TX) to pilot Project Open Mind. This project, designed and
supported by PFLAG's National Organization, will focus on addressing the
homophobia that exists in a community. Through a multimedia (radio, TV,
print, forums, speaking engagements, etc.) educational program we hope to
reach Tulsa's "mushy middle" on gay/lesbian/bi issues. Tulsa's PFLAG
chapter can look forward to special media training, materials for TV and
radio, and access to national staff support.

Get Me Jesus on the
Line.

On Friday, October 20, about 100 people walked together over Tulsa's Martin Luther
King Bridge and up Greenwood to UCaT, with banners promoting diversity and
tolerance and calling for an end to hatred and hate crimes. The event was covered by
local media. Gathered inside UCaT, the group, which included three survivors of the
Tulsa race riots, several youth from the Anytown , Oklahoma interracial summer camp,
eight PFLAG members, and many others, listened to representatives from member
groups of the "Say No to Hate Coalition" speak out against racism, xenophobia, and
religious intolerance. As the final speaker, Ric Kirby did us proud. He told movingly of
hi s personal encounter with hatred when he was violently gay-bashed in Tulsa in 1989.
His talk, which was warmly received, prompted a young male listener to ask with
emotion what he can do as he sits by and listens to friends put down another good friend
of his for being gay. The gathering ended on a hopeful note in a call to action.

Lifeline, a long-distance
telephone service, was
founded by Jesus Christ,
says one of its earthly cofounders, Carl Thompson.
The OK City company bills
$6 million a month in the
Lord's name, renting
established lines, but says it
will have tts own in four
years. AT&T is "the Devil,"
Thompson says, because ft
"helps gays and lesbians."
Lifeline donates 20% of
profrts to the Founder--to
"conquer the world in the
name of Jesus." --New York Times
Magazine, August 27, 1995.

Say No to Racism and Hate Crimes

Are You a PFLAG Member?
Hopefully, you feel that our organization is worth supporting and that you
enjoy receiving this newsletter. This organization has continued to grow
because there are people out there who need the support PFLAG offers. As
an organization, we are completely staffed by volunteers. Your
membership fee is not a luxury to us--it is essential for our survival.
Please use the form below to renew your membership with PFLAG Tulsa.

FINAL NOTICE:
1995/1996 Dues Are Due!!!
(Clip and Mail

t,o

PFLAG, PO Box 52800, Tulsa, OK 74152)

MEMBERSHIPS:
_ _ _ _Individual membership

$20.00

_ _ _ _Household membership $30.00
_ _ _ _ Supporting membership $50.00
_ _ _ _ Gift for the ongoing support of the Tulsa
PFLAG Chapter
Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City: _ __ _ _ ___ St: _ _ ZIP:
Phone: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

$8.00 of your dues will be sent to National PFLAG to
enable you to receive the FLAGPOLE, the national
quarterly newsletter. The PFLAG pole is mailed to your
home. If you do not want receive the newsletter at your
hove, please check the box _ _ . The words, "Parents,
Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: will appear on
the return address of the PFLAG Pole.
VOLUNTEER WITH YOUR TIME AND
ENERGY ...... INDICATE IN WHAT AREA YOU WILL
WANT TO WORK.
_ _ Program

_ _ Library

_ _ Hospitality

____ Funding

Hot line

_ _Support Group

Your participation will enable us to further our goals SUPPORT - EDUCATION -ADVOCACY

PAGE3

PFLAG

Oklahoma
Congressional
Delegation
U.S. Senator Don Nickles
133 Hart
U.S. Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
202-224-5754

3310 Mid-Continent Tower
409 So. Boston
Tulsa, OK 74103
918-581 -7651
U.S. Senator Jim Inhofe
453 Russell
U.S. Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
202-224-4721
1924 So. Utica, Suite 530
Tulsa, OK 74104
918-748-5111
U.S. Rep. Steve Largent
410Cannon
U.S. House of Reps.
Washington, D.C. 20515
202-225-2211
2424 East 21st, Suite 510
Tulsa, OK 74114
918-749-0014
U.S.Rep. Tom Coburn
511 Cannon
U .5. House of Reps.
Washington, D.C. 20515
202-225-2701

215 State Street, Suite 815
Muskogee, OK 74401
918-687-2533

Gays, Nazis & Facts
It is no secret that the average radio and TV evangelist is .a notorious
manipulator of the facts, and some, such as Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson,
tell blatant lies.
Recently on the 700 Club, Robertson said: "When lawlessness is abroad
in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany.
Many of the people involved in Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many were
homosexuals--the two things seem to go together."
As usual Robertson makes it up as he goes along.
Hitler, who dreamed of being a Catholic priest, was virulently antihomosexual. Paragraph 175 of his German criminal code called for
imprisonment of"any male who commits lewd and lascivious acts with
another male." (There are recorded arrests of females as well.)
Of the estimated 100,000 homosexuals sent to death camps, more than
60% perished. They were required to wear a pink triangle to mark them as
homosexuals. (Heinz Hege, The Men With the Pink Triangles, 1972.)
Why does Robertson lie?
It is part of the demonization process that works so well on the Religious
Right. It is ironic that the same technique was used by the Nazis. First they
had to demonize the Jews so there would be no great outcry when they were
eliminated. The same technique was used on gays, the mentally and
physically challenged and finally the liberal clergy.
Homophobia is a sure-fire fund raiser for Robertson, Falwell, James
Dobson, James Hagee and D. James Kennedy. If you doubt it give a listen.
The Oklahoma Observer, September 10, 1995.

Human Rights Campaign Debuts Web Site
This month, the Human Rights Campaign debuts its new site on the World
Wide Web, designed to provide users with the up-to-the-minute information
they need to communicate with congress on a regular basis. the addresses
http://www.hrcusa.org. Users enter their zip code and their members of
Congress are displayed with up-to-the-minute voting records on gay and
AIDS-related issues. Special instructions are displayed if the member
requires special action because of committee membership, or sponsorship or
lack of sponsorship of a particular bill.

PFLAG Members Involved in Quilt Display
This October 13 through 15 a portion of the NAMES project AIDS Memorial Quilt was
displayed at Tulsa's Expo Square Pavilion on the state fairgrounds. The display included
over one hundred sections of Quilt, each measuring twelve feel square. Those who
attended found themselves wrapped in Quilt, with panels draping the entire circumference
of the Pavilion. Tulsa PFLAG members assisted in the event by volunteering on folding
and unfolding teams at the opening and closing ceremonies, and serving as quilt monitors
throughout the weekend. Chapter members Nancy and Joe McDonald, and Carolyn
Wood participated in reading the names of those memorialized by the Quilt. The next
major display in Tulsa is scheduled for 1997. Anyone wanting to become more involved
should contact: The NAMES Project Tulsa Area Chapter, 4154 S. Harvard,
Suite H-1, Tulsa, OK, 74135, (918) 748-3111.

PAGE4

PFLAG

ABOUT PFLAG
Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and
Gays (PH.AG) is a not for profit, tax exempt, all
volunteer, community-based organization of
parents, other relatives and friends of lesbian
and gay persons. PFLAG is not affiliated with
any ethnic, religious or political group.
PFLAG/ Tulsa is a member of the international
federation of the same name.
OUR PURPOSES AND GOALS ARE TO:
T Provide a support system for families and

friends of lesbians and gay men in an effort to
understand, accept and support their children
with love and pride,
T Provide education for individuals and the
community at large on the nature of
homosexuality, and
T Support the full human and civil rights of
lesbians and gay men.

World AIDS Day
December 11 1995
Tulsa's Sixth Annual World AIDS Day
Candlelight March and Memorial Service,
sponsored by Interfaith AIDS Ministries (IAM)
will be held on Friday, December 1, 1995.
Participants will gather in the plaza north of
Sharp Chapel on the Campus of the University.I
Tulsa at 6:30 pm and will march to the Great
Hall in the Alan Chapman Activity Center where
there will be a memorial service followed by a
reception.
Organizations are encouraged to bring
banners; participants are asked to bring bells of
some kind. Candles and matches will be
provided. All are invited to participate.
Join Interfaith AIDS Ministries in
remembering those infected with and affected by
HIV and those who have died of AIDS. the 1995
march route will be lined with luminaries
displaying the names of those we remember in
our prayers on World AIDS Day. The luminaries
will be provided by IAM and will be available at
the reception following the service. Contributions
for the luminaries are requested, but not required.
For more information or to submit a name,
please call 438-2437 or 1-800-284-2437.
(Deadline for requests will be Monday, November
20, 1995.)

Family AIDS Support Group:
New Format
Beginning in November, the PFLAG Family AIDS
Support Group will meet at 6:30pm on the second
Monday of the month, directly before the general
PFLAG meeting. This group will offer resource
information and continuous peer to peer support for
families dealing with IITV/AIDS. The group will also
serve as an entry point to PFLAG for families facing
several new issues at once. Those attending are
welcome and encouraged to also attend the PFLAG
meeting.

COLAGE:
Children of Lesbian and Gays
Everywhere
COLAGE (Children of Lesbian and Gays Everywhere) is
the first and only national organization for young kids with
lesbian and gay parents.
"The most pressing problem facing kids with lesbian
and gay parents is our isolation," says Suzanne Pullen,
COLAGE's Administrative Assistant and the daughter of a
lesbian mother. "It isn't about an adult world of politics,
it's about a kids' world of connecting and making friends
who understand. It exposes kids all over the world to a
community they are a product and part of, in a way that
they can relate to."
The American Bar Association estimates there are
upwards of 8 million sons and daughters of lesbian and gay
parents in the US alone. Hundreds of thousands of these
kids are under 10. Despite these enormous members,
books for kids with lesbian and gay parents, such as Daddys
Roommate and Heather Has Two Mommies, are one of the
most censored genre, being pulled from the shelves of
libraries all over the country by member of the religious
right who don't understand that lesbian and gay people can
and do make loving families.
COLAGE was created six years ago by children of
lesbian and gay parents, focusing on the needs of teenagers.
Over a year ago, a number of parents and younger kids
approached COLAGE to ask for something for younger kids,
out of which grew the COLA GE Kids Club. COLAGE work to
build self-esteem early on and helps kids develop tools to
deal with homophobia that children of lesbians and gays
face.
For further information on this group ( which has over
a thousand members), contact: COLAGE; 2300 Market
Street #165; San Francisco, CA 94114.
Phone: ( 41 5) 861-5437; fax: ( 41 5) 255-8345;
email: Kidsofgays@aol.com.

P, operty of the Cm.Qr

PROJECT OPEN MIND
UPDATE-

Thanks to all of you for participating in the training sessions for Project Open
Mind. We have scheduled another training for Saturday, November 11, 9:00 a.m. to
noon. If you are interested in participating, please call for location. (We need to
know the number of persons participating before we c a ~ ) . PFLAG has sent us
additional "talking points''so for those persons who are willing to be listed on the
Speakers Bureau, if you will let me know, I will get packets of information to you.
Please call 749-4901 or 742-8565.
The PRESS CONFERENCE is scheduled for Wednesday, November 8, 1995. at
1:30 p.m. in the Aronson Room, Lower Level, Tulsa City County Library,
Downtown, 5th and Denver. We hope the room is filled, so please come and bring
friends that will stand with us as we make the announcement about PROJECT
OPENMIND.

We will begin immediately to schedule presentations. If you can open a door for us to
a church, organization, business,etc. Please call 749-4901 and leave a message,
someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
We thank each of you that have given financial gifts to Project Open Mind. Media
buys are very expensive and we do not want our ads to run at three in the morning.
Your gifts have also helped to buy additional materials that will be needed for
presentations. Thank your. If you want to give and have not yet had the
opportunity, please call Nancy at 742-8565 or send your gift to PFLAG, P.O. Box
52800, Tulsa, OK 74152. Gifts to PFLAG are tax deductible.

tolij?

-----------------

CALL 10 AC. IO~
A. ,ALL f()R HELP
Your help is needed NOW! Together we can
stop "HIV/AIDS associational employment
discrimination" in Tulsa (and perhaps the United
States) by helping ensure a victory for the first
human rights case of its kind .
What makes this case so special to you? The
HIV/AIDS associational employment
discrimination happened right here in Tulsa,
Oklahoma. All of us (partners, coworkers,
friends, parents, children) are at risk of
experiencing prejudice and losing our jobs
because we care for a loved one living with
HIV or AIDS.
The facts: One of our own was suspended and
eventually lost his job simply because of his
association with an HIV positive partner (who is
now deceased) . The Plaintiff was and continues
to be HIV negative. The evidence supports that
the Plaintiff, who is known to many in our
community, lost his job because the Defendant
(the owner and operator of a well-known
restaurant) acquiesced to the prejudice and
irrational fears of his customers. Allegedly,
customers complained after another customer of
the restaurant asked the Plaintiff about the health
status of his partner.
This case is about enforcing the rights we
already have under the law. The facts of this
case fully support the first "AIDS-associational"
case to go to trial in the United States since the
passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act
(ADA) in I 990 .

The ADA is a federal law that protects the rights
of the disabled. It makes illegal any
discrimination against an employee because
he/she is regarded as having a disability (for
example, you experience discrimination because
someone thinks you might be HIV positive) or
b~cause he/she has an association or relationship
with someone who has a disability (for example,
you experience discriminatory treatment because
you associate with someone who is known or
thought to be living with HIV or AIDS). The
ADA also makes it illegal to retaliate against any
employee because he/she has opposed an illegal
practice.

There are significant financial needs in
bringing this case to trial that cannot be paid
by the Plaintiff. In particular, to help ensure a
victory, the Plaintiffs attorneys have strongly
recommended that a specialized consultant be
hired to : (I) guide the jury selection process so
as to select as fair and non-biased a jury as is
possible in Tulsa, Oklahoma; and (2) to skillfully
frame the issues on this sensitive and
controversial topic.
How you can help. The costs for these services
are expected to be $7500.00. None of this
money will go to the Plaintiffs lawyers. Should
you decide that you want to help win this case
for the Plaintiff and all of us, please send your
tax deductible donation payable to: Legal
AID -AIDS Project at 1350 East 15th Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74120. If you wish to gain '
more information regarding this case or how you
can help, contact Marilyn lhloff at 587-2566 . Fb

Upcoming Events

Clinic News

Red Ribbon Treefest

The tohr HIV Testing Clinic is in desperate
need of computers (even one would be
helpful). H you or someone you know
~
would be interested
in donating a
~
computer or the
.~
money to buy one,
please call Claudette
at (918) 742-2927.

The Treefest is an annual event where decorated
holiday trees are auctioned to raise funds for local
organizations serving persons with HIV/ AIDS .
Funds raised through the 1995 auction will benefit the

*

HIV Resource Consortium (to
purchase prescription drugs) and
the Interfaith AIDS Ministries (to
help pay for their AIDS
information telephone line.)

The 1995 Red Ribbon Treefest will be held at The
Spotlight Theatre, 1318 Riverside Drive. The 1995 tree
viewing reception will begin at 4:00 p.m. with the
auction following at 5:30 p.m. on December 3, 1995.
For more information contact a member of the
Treefest Committee: Steven at 663-5372, Linda at 4816067 or Aaron at 492-7438. •

"The Long Way 'Round to Ninevah"
The Jonah story in song and dance will be presented
by the parish family of St. Luke's Episcopal Church,
Bartlesville, Oklahoma at All
Souls Unitarian Church, 2952 S.
Peoria on Saturday, November
11, 1995. The Matinee
performance (2:00 p.m.) and
evening performance (7 :00 p.m.)
will benefit the Interfaith AIDS
Ministries . For ticket information call 438-2437 or
663-5372 .

World AIDS Day
Tulsa's Sixth Annual W arid AIDS Day Candlelight
March and Memorial Service, sponsored by the
Interfaith AIDS Ministries, will be held on December
1, I 995 . Participants will gather in the plaza north of
Sharp Chapel on the University of Tulsa Campus at
6:30 p.m. and march to the Great Hall
in the Alan Chapman Activity Center.
Organizations are encouraged to bring
banners and participants are asked to
bring bells of some kind. Candles will
be provided. The memorial service will be followed by
a reception. For more information call 438-2437 .

Positively Negative
Positively negative, a co-facilitated dialogue
for HIV negative gay and bisexual men will
start its second session in December. The first
group was well received and the second
group is expected to fill-up fast. If you are
interested in participating, please call Jason at
(918) 742-2927. RJ

The Name Game
The tohr HIV Testing Clinic is asking for
your help in choosing a catchy new name for
the clinic. If you have a brilliant idea for a
new name for the clinic, call Claudette at
742-2927 or send your entry by mail to P.O.
Box 2687, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74101. (Be sure
to include your name along
with your suggestion for the
clinic name.)
Names must be submitted by
November 30, 1995. The new
name will be announced at the Holiday
Dinner. The individual who suggested the
name will receive a special prize in addition
to a free year's membership in tohr. RJ

Unwili1U[11~1fii~imi1~[1i mmm1r OK
M 001 111 449

P,·operty of the Center

to"t:
---------------------:from Your

President
Vuring a recent visit to
:Mem_phis I had the
o_p_portunity to visit their
Community Center. What a
great _pface ! .'A gen t[eman at the Center
took the time to give me a tour and ta[k
with me a6out their community. The
6udget is a6out s18,oon.oo yer year ancf
they have a6out 1800 square feet with no
_paid staff They have a T.V. ~oom where
they show movies every :Jricfay night, a
(encfing lr6rnry, and each Saturaay they
have a coffee house with five music. They
don't nave any outreach _prngrams 6ut do
a[fow other organizations to use tfze
Center, a smarrfee is involve£ They have
had·a Center since 1988 and this is their
3rdfocation and the 6est to-date, I was
to(cf. What they have a [ack of is vo[unteen
to staff and_partici_pate in the Center
activities. Overn([ I was very im_pressed
and excited to see a Center in good
o_pernting order.
This of coune 6rings me to my vision for
Tufsa's Center. We are a city a6out the size
of :Memphis andshou[d6e a6[e to su_p_port a
Center equa[ to or forger than the in. What
I saw in :Mem_phis ancf have seen here in
Tufsa is a [ack of vo[unteers to make things
ha_p_pen. TO:J-f'R current[y needs vo[unteers
to staff our he[pGne. This is a very sma[(
commitment requiring a two hour shift
each month. We need to Ji(( ten _positions as
soon as _possi6(e. Our [ack of_partici_pation
in staffing the he(prine makes me a Gtt[e
concerned a6out hm-v we wi[[ staff a
Community Center when it is o_pen/ What
we need is more _particiyation from the

Les6ian, 'Bisexua( and(jay community in
Tufsa ancfsurrnuncfing areas. 'By
_partici_pating in TO:J-f'R you can he(p 6ring
a6out _positive change for our community.
1'artici_pation in TO:J-f1{ events is a great
way to meet _peo_p[e and_put a smifingface
on our community for visitors and
ne1-vcomers.

Tufsa, we have some very exciting things
ha_p_pening within the Les6ian, 'Bisexua[
and(jay community ana each and
everyone of you cou[d6e an integra[ _part
of these advances. We need your su_p_port in
unifying our community to create change.
It's easy to sit at home and say, '1'[( go to
the next event or meeting", 6ut each event
6Yings o_p_portunity to _partici_pate in
creating change and we neea your
_particiyation. There are fots of ways you
can su_p_port TO:J-f1{. (jive us a ca[[, or 6etter
yet attend a meeting. I 6eueve you wi[[ 6e
_p[easant[y sur_prisea6y how much fun is
awaiting you.
Let's unffy our community ant£ create
_positive cfzange for every Les6ian, 'Bisexua(
ant£ (jay _person in Northeastern
Ok[ahoma. See you soon!
Tim

HIV Testing Clinic
4158 S. Harvard, Suite E-2
918 742-2927
Free and anonymous finger-stick method
Walk-In Clinic No Appointment Required
Monday and Thursday Evening
Testing 7:00. 9:00 PM
Daytime Testing By Appointment
Monday through Thursday
10:00 AM. 5:00 PM

to~
-------------------------------TO:JfX
~:NV_'AL

:J{0 LIV.Jl Y

1JINNTX
The Annual TOHR Holiday Dinner has been
scheduled for December 8, 1995 at All Souls
Unitarian Church. The night promises to be a
w~mderful evening featuring good food,
fnends, and entertainment, as well as the
annual auction.

1996 Candidates for
TOHR Executive Board
The Nominating Committee presented the
following list of candidates during the
October Board meeting:
President - Debbie Starnes
First Vice-President - Mariam Childers
Second Vice-President - Rob Hill
Secretary - Sue Minshall
Treasurer - Pam Pretz

TOHR will be providing the entree for the
dinner. Everyone attending is asked to bring
an accompanying dish in accordance with the
following list:

Elections will be held during the November
7th general meeting ofTOHR- 7:00pm in
the Choteau Room at the Alan Chapman
Activity Center on the TU campus. Fb

First letter of last name

Has your membership expired or have you
just discovered tohr? If so, join tohr today!

A-I
J-Q
R-Z

type of dish
veggies
desserts
salads

The evening will begin with
a social hour at 6:30 p.m.,
followed by the dinner at
7:00pm.

The Board of TOHR
invites everyone to join in
celebrating the holidays with their extended
community family. RJ

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED
Volunteers are still needed to help answer
Tulsa's only Helpline for gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered
•
communities. If you feel you
can give a few hours a month
to help with this important
service, call 743-GA YS and
leave a message for the
Helpline Coordinator. Pi

Although memberships arc due on August 1, 1995 , tohr
gratefully accepts memberships throughout the year. If
you've not sent your membership - please do so today
and invite a friend to join you!

TOHR Membership
Please detach and mail lo: P .0 . Box 52729 , Tulsa , OK
. 74152
Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address: _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City :_ _ _--'State_;_Zi p.:__
Phone: _ __ _ _ _ _ __
Signature.~·_ _ _ _ _ __
D $1() Limited Income/Student Membership
D $20 Regular Membership
D $35 Organizational/I lousehold Membership
D $ 100 Sustaining Membership

0 I am currently receiving tohr mailings
0 I am not on the mailing list
0 Please contact me about volunteering



Property of the Ce .ter

A p11blicatio11 ofT11lsa Oklahoma11s for H11ma11 Rig Im i,, cooperatio11 with Pare11ts a11d Frie11ds of Lesbiam- and Gaps

Volume 1, Issue 5

ALL
COMMUNITY
MEETING
Make plans now to attend
the CommUNITY meeting
on November 7th in the
Choteau Room of the Alan
Chapman Activity Center on the University
of Tulsa Campus. A short membership
meeting of TOHR will be held from 7:00 to
7:30 p.m. with an open discussion forum
following on issues of concern to the gay,
lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered
communities of northeastern Oklahoma.
Leaders from many of the organizations
listed on the next page will be available to
present a brief synopsis of their organization
and to assist in leading roundtable
discussions. Issues which might be discussed
include: ( 1) unifying the community;
(2) spiritual issues; (3) social events and
activities; (4) finding the "hidden"
community, and; (5) opening the Community
Center.
Everyone's input is extremely important - so
be there to help resolve issues and make
future plans for your community.
Individuals, business owners, organizational
representatives, and friends of the community
are all invited to attend as we work together
to bring Unity to our Community.

November 1995
Everyone is also invited to attend the TOHR
membership meeting prior to the Community
Meeting. If you've not been involved in
TOHR, this would be a great time to find out
what it's all about. If you were involved years
ago, get back involved now. If you've
remained a member but haven't attended a
meeting recently, please join us.
TOHR has set many goals which will benefit
the gay, lesbian, bisexual , and transgendered
communities of northeastern Oklahoma .
Your help is needed in reaching those goals.
Committees for the upcoming year will soon
be formed. Think seriously about working on
a committee. Whether it be the
program/ activity committee, the Community
Center committee, the newsletter committee,
the Pride Picnic Committee, or a fund raising
event committee, you will know that you
have played an important role in making
northeastern Oklahoma a great place to live.
Simply put, Tulsa's oldest organization
serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgendered individuals needs you. ~h

PFLAGNEWS
TOHR Clinic News

Upcoming Events
Community Organizations
From Your President
A Call for Action and Help
TOHR Annual Holiday Dinner

Community Organizations
Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay Alliance: T.U. student
organization. Call 583-9780 for info
Bless the Lord at All Times Christian Center. Call
583-7815 for info.
Community of Hope: A Shalom Community of the
United Methodist Church. Leslie Penrose, Pastor.
Call 585-1800 for info .
Dignity /Integrity of Tulsa: Lesbian/ Gay Catholics
and Episcopalians. For info call 298-4648.
Family of Faith Metropolitan Community Church:
Exists to call the Tulsa community to life through the
liberating gospel of Jesus Christ. Nancy Horvath,
Pastor. Call 622-1441 for info .

Tulsa Family Chorale: Choral group that performs at
various gay/ lesbian community events. Male and
female voices needed. Call 749-1563 for info.
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights: Tulsa's oldest
organization serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgendered communities . Call 743-GAYS for info .
T.U.L.S.A. - Tulsa Uniform and Leather Seekers
Call 838-1222 for info
Women's Supper Club: Exactly what it says. Meets
on a monthly basis for supper. Call 298-4648 for info .
If we have fail ed to include your organizatio n, we apologize . Future
informati on 10 be included in this or similar listings should he se nt to
Co mmunity News. P .O . Box 52729 , Tulsa . OK 74152 or faxed to
9 18-584-4541. Submissio n deadline is th e 15th of every month .

F.U.S.O.: Write to P.O .B. 8542, Tulsa, Oklahoma
74101 for info.

Help us fill OUR Community Center by
sending in your contribution TODAY!

Green Country Pride: Exists to improve quality of life
in Green Country for gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgendered individuals . Call 583-1248 for info.

Monthly Pledges

PFLAG -Parent, Friends, and Families of Lesbians
and Gays: Support groups and educational programs
Call 749-490 I for info .
Metropolitan Community Church of Greater Tulsa:
Where God uplifts all people . Call 838-1715 for info .
Primetimers: An educational and social group for
"mature" gay men. Meet monthly . Write P.O. Box
52118, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104
Rainbow Business Guild: A social forum for Lesbian
and Gay or Gay friendly business owners. Call 6655174
St. Jerome Ecumenical Catholic Church: An
independent Catholic Church founded for the gay and
lesbian community and affirming to all people. Call
Rick Hollingsworth at 742-7122 for info .
SW AN - Single Women's Activity Network: Call
832 -2121 for info.
Technicians Leather Club: Call 584-1308 for info .

0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0

$100
$75
$50
$45
$40
$35
$20
$10

Center Stage
One time donations
0 $2 ,500-$5 ,000
0 $1,500-$2,499
0 $ 750-$1,499
0 $ 300-$ 749
0 $ 100-$ 299

Other

Please mark your chosen pledge or donation
category, detach and mail to : tohr, P.O. Box
52729, Tulsa, OK 74152
Please include your name and address, so
that we may thank you properly.

All contributor's names and information are held
in the strictest confidence

PFLAG

PAGE 1

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
November 1995

Volume IV
Newsletter of the Tulsa Chapter of Parents, Family, and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays
Help line (918) 749-4901
P.O. Box 52800 Tulsa, OK 74152
Regular Meetings Second Monday of the Month
Lynn Mostoller, editor

Number 11

NOVEMBER MEETING

CALENDAR

Monday, November 13, 1995
Quadrangle Building
4154 South Harvard
Suite H
Look for the entrance on the north side of the building-"The Gathering Place"
fl~~~~g lM011~ 11~~ lM~W 11!M~ ~~~~[Q)llJl~
@g~@ □ r~~@ lPITi10
PFLAG 101 and PFLAG 102
PFLAG Family Aids Support Group
PF LAG 101 is a group designed to support new parents and
members as they begin their journey to accepting and supporting
their lesbian and gay loved ones.
PF LAG 102 is a new group for those who have "graduated" from
PFLAG 101, but who would like to meet in a small, supportive setting
to discuss matters and topics on a more personal level than is
sometimes possible in the larger, general meeting. Everyone is
invited to attend.
PFLAG FAMILY AIDS SUPPORT GROUP offers resource
information and continuous peer to peer support for families dealing
with HIV/AIDS. The group will also serve as an entry point to PFLAG
for families facing several new issues at once. See pg 4 for more
details.
SPOUSES, led by Carolyn Wood, is a new group forming to
support straight spouses of gays and lesbians.

@g~@ □ 'yg~@ [PITi10
Social and Refreshments
'y g~@ [PITi10
General Meeting & Program
TOMMY CHESBRO, AIDS educator for the Indian Health
Care Resource Center, will be our guest speaker. He recently
gave a moving speech at the closing ceremonies of the Names
Project Quilt display in Tulsa. He will his share stories from
working with the AIDS/HIV community.

NOVEMBER 8, 1995 (Wednesday)
Project Open Mind Press Conference
Aaronson Auditorium
Tulsa Central Library
400 Civic Center
1:30 pm
NOVEMBER 11, 1995
Special Benefit Performance for
Interfaith AIDS Ministries
"The Long Way 'Round To Ninevah" the
Jonah story.
St. Luke's Episcopal Church
2pm &7pm
Call 438-2437 or 663-5372 for ticket
information.
NOVEMBER 13, 1995 (Monday)
PFLAG General Meeting
See left for details.
DECEMBER 1, 1995 (Friday)
World AIDS Day
Sharp Chapel (TU Campus)
6:30 pm
See page 4 for details.
DECEMBER 11, 1995 (Monday)
PFLAG Holiday Potluck Dinner.
All Souls Unitarian Church
29th and Peoria
6:30 pm
See details in next month' s newsletter.
FEBRUARY 10, 1996
Metro Men's Chorus
Hope Unitarian Church
84th & Sheridan
Ticket Price: $10.00
8:00 pm
Happy

Than ks giving!!!

PAGE2

PFLAG

Project Open Mind

Out and About:
Wear a rainbow, a
discreet symbol of gay
pride, as a pin, sticker,
or luggage tag. If
someone asks you
about it, you can say
you support equal
rights for all people, or
you can be more
specific.

Tulsa, OK, has been chosen as one of three cities (along with Atlanta, GA,
and Houston, TX) to pilot Project Open Mind. This project, designed and
supported by PFLAG's National Organization, will focus on addressing the
homophobia that exists in a community. Through a multimedia (radio, TV,
print, forums, speaking engagements, etc.) educational program we hope to
reach Tulsa's "mushy middle" on gay/lesbian/bi issues. Tulsa's PFLAG
chapter can look forward to special media training, materials for TV and
radio, and access to national staff support.

Get Me Jesus on the
Line.

On Friday, October 20, about 100 people walked together over Tulsa's Martin Luther
King Bridge and up Greenwood to UCaT, with banners promoting diversity and
tolerance and calling for an end to hatred and hate crimes. The event was covered by
local media. Gathered inside UCaT, the group, which included three survivors of the
Tulsa race riots, several youth from the Anytown , Oklahoma interracial summer camp,
eight PFLAG members, and many others, listened to representatives from member
groups of the "Say No to Hate Coalition" speak out against racism, xenophobia, and
religious intolerance. As the final speaker, Ric Kirby did us proud. He told movingly of
hi s personal encounter with hatred when he was violently gay-bashed in Tulsa in 1989.
His talk, which was warmly received, prompted a young male listener to ask with
emotion what he can do as he sits by and listens to friends put down another good friend
of his for being gay. The gathering ended on a hopeful note in a call to action.

Lifeline, a long-distance
telephone service, was
founded by Jesus Christ,
says one of its earthly cofounders, Carl Thompson.
The OK City company bills
$6 million a month in the
Lord's name, renting
established lines, but says it
will have tts own in four
years. AT&T is "the Devil,"
Thompson says, because ft
"helps gays and lesbians."
Lifeline donates 20% of
profrts to the Founder--to
"conquer the world in the
name of Jesus." --New York Times
Magazine, August 27, 1995.

Say No to Racism and Hate Crimes

Are You a PFLAG Member?
Hopefully, you feel that our organization is worth supporting and that you
enjoy receiving this newsletter. This organization has continued to grow
because there are people out there who need the support PFLAG offers. As
an organization, we are completely staffed by volunteers. Your
membership fee is not a luxury to us--it is essential for our survival.
Please use the form below to renew your membership with PFLAG Tulsa.

FINAL NOTICE:
1995/1996 Dues Are Due!!!
(Clip and Mail

t,o

PFLAG, PO Box 52800, Tulsa, OK 74152)

MEMBERSHIPS:
_ _ _ _Individual membership

$20.00

_ _ _ _Household membership $30.00
_ _ _ _ Supporting membership $50.00
_ _ _ _ Gift for the ongoing support of the Tulsa
PFLAG Chapter
Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City: _ __ _ _ ___ St: _ _ ZIP:
Phone: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

$8.00 of your dues will be sent to National PFLAG to
enable you to receive the FLAGPOLE, the national
quarterly newsletter. The PFLAG pole is mailed to your
home. If you do not want receive the newsletter at your
hove, please check the box _ _ . The words, "Parents,
Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: will appear on
the return address of the PFLAG Pole.
VOLUNTEER WITH YOUR TIME AND
ENERGY ...... INDICATE IN WHAT AREA YOU WILL
WANT TO WORK.
_ _ Program

_ _ Library

_ _ Hospitality

____ Funding

Hot line

_ _Support Group

Your participation will enable us to further our goals SUPPORT - EDUCATION -ADVOCACY

PAGE3

PFLAG

Oklahoma
Congressional
Delegation
U.S. Senator Don Nickles
133 Hart
U.S. Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
202-224-5754

3310 Mid-Continent Tower
409 So. Boston
Tulsa, OK 74103
918-581 -7651
U.S. Senator Jim Inhofe
453 Russell
U.S. Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
202-224-4721
1924 So. Utica, Suite 530
Tulsa, OK 74104
918-748-5111
U.S. Rep. Steve Largent
410Cannon
U.S. House of Reps.
Washington, D.C. 20515
202-225-2211
2424 East 21st, Suite 510
Tulsa, OK 74114
918-749-0014
U.S.Rep. Tom Coburn
511 Cannon
U .5. House of Reps.
Washington, D.C. 20515
202-225-2701

215 State Street, Suite 815
Muskogee, OK 74401
918-687-2533

Gays, Nazis & Facts
It is no secret that the average radio and TV evangelist is .a notorious
manipulator of the facts, and some, such as Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson,
tell blatant lies.
Recently on the 700 Club, Robertson said: "When lawlessness is abroad
in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany.
Many of the people involved in Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many were
homosexuals--the two things seem to go together."
As usual Robertson makes it up as he goes along.
Hitler, who dreamed of being a Catholic priest, was virulently antihomosexual. Paragraph 175 of his German criminal code called for
imprisonment of"any male who commits lewd and lascivious acts with
another male." (There are recorded arrests of females as well.)
Of the estimated 100,000 homosexuals sent to death camps, more than
60% perished. They were required to wear a pink triangle to mark them as
homosexuals. (Heinz Hege, The Men With the Pink Triangles, 1972.)
Why does Robertson lie?
It is part of the demonization process that works so well on the Religious
Right. It is ironic that the same technique was used by the Nazis. First they
had to demonize the Jews so there would be no great outcry when they were
eliminated. The same technique was used on gays, the mentally and
physically challenged and finally the liberal clergy.
Homophobia is a sure-fire fund raiser for Robertson, Falwell, James
Dobson, James Hagee and D. James Kennedy. If you doubt it give a listen.
The Oklahoma Observer, September 10, 1995.

Human Rights Campaign Debuts Web Site
This month, the Human Rights Campaign debuts its new site on the World
Wide Web, designed to provide users with the up-to-the-minute information
they need to communicate with congress on a regular basis. the addresses
http://www.hrcusa.org. Users enter their zip code and their members of
Congress are displayed with up-to-the-minute voting records on gay and
AIDS-related issues. Special instructions are displayed if the member
requires special action because of committee membership, or sponsorship or
lack of sponsorship of a particular bill.

PFLAG Members Involved in Quilt Display
This October 13 through 15 a portion of the NAMES project AIDS Memorial Quilt was
displayed at Tulsa's Expo Square Pavilion on the state fairgrounds. The display included
over one hundred sections of Quilt, each measuring twelve feel square. Those who
attended found themselves wrapped in Quilt, with panels draping the entire circumference
of the Pavilion. Tulsa PFLAG members assisted in the event by volunteering on folding
and unfolding teams at the opening and closing ceremonies, and serving as quilt monitors
throughout the weekend. Chapter members Nancy and Joe McDonald, and Carolyn
Wood participated in reading the names of those memorialized by the Quilt. The next
major display in Tulsa is scheduled for 1997. Anyone wanting to become more involved
should contact: The NAMES Project Tulsa Area Chapter, 4154 S. Harvard,
Suite H-1, Tulsa, OK, 74135, (918) 748-3111.

PAGE4

PFLAG

ABOUT PFLAG
Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and
Gays (PH.AG) is a not for profit, tax exempt, all
volunteer, community-based organization of
parents, other relatives and friends of lesbian
and gay persons. PFLAG is not affiliated with
any ethnic, religious or political group.
PFLAG/ Tulsa is a member of the international
federation of the same name.
OUR PURPOSES AND GOALS ARE TO:
T Provide a support system for families and

friends of lesbians and gay men in an effort to
understand, accept and support their children
with love and pride,
T Provide education for individuals and the
community at large on the nature of
homosexuality, and
T Support the full human and civil rights of
lesbians and gay men.

World AIDS Day
December 11 1995
Tulsa's Sixth Annual World AIDS Day
Candlelight March and Memorial Service,
sponsored by Interfaith AIDS Ministries (IAM)
will be held on Friday, December 1, 1995.
Participants will gather in the plaza north of
Sharp Chapel on the Campus of the University.I
Tulsa at 6:30 pm and will march to the Great
Hall in the Alan Chapman Activity Center where
there will be a memorial service followed by a
reception.
Organizations are encouraged to bring
banners; participants are asked to bring bells of
some kind. Candles and matches will be
provided. All are invited to participate.
Join Interfaith AIDS Ministries in
remembering those infected with and affected by
HIV and those who have died of AIDS. the 1995
march route will be lined with luminaries
displaying the names of those we remember in
our prayers on World AIDS Day. The luminaries
will be provided by IAM and will be available at
the reception following the service. Contributions
for the luminaries are requested, but not required.
For more information or to submit a name,
please call 438-2437 or 1-800-284-2437.
(Deadline for requests will be Monday, November
20, 1995.)

Family AIDS Support Group:
New Format
Beginning in November, the PFLAG Family AIDS
Support Group will meet at 6:30pm on the second
Monday of the month, directly before the general
PFLAG meeting. This group will offer resource
information and continuous peer to peer support for
families dealing with IITV/AIDS. The group will also
serve as an entry point to PFLAG for families facing
several new issues at once. Those attending are
welcome and encouraged to also attend the PFLAG
meeting.

COLAGE:
Children of Lesbian and Gays
Everywhere
COLAGE (Children of Lesbian and Gays Everywhere) is
the first and only national organization for young kids with
lesbian and gay parents.
"The most pressing problem facing kids with lesbian
and gay parents is our isolation," says Suzanne Pullen,
COLAGE's Administrative Assistant and the daughter of a
lesbian mother. "It isn't about an adult world of politics,
it's about a kids' world of connecting and making friends
who understand. It exposes kids all over the world to a
community they are a product and part of, in a way that
they can relate to."
The American Bar Association estimates there are
upwards of 8 million sons and daughters of lesbian and gay
parents in the US alone. Hundreds of thousands of these
kids are under 10. Despite these enormous members,
books for kids with lesbian and gay parents, such as Daddys
Roommate and Heather Has Two Mommies, are one of the
most censored genre, being pulled from the shelves of
libraries all over the country by member of the religious
right who don't understand that lesbian and gay people can
and do make loving families.
COLAGE was created six years ago by children of
lesbian and gay parents, focusing on the needs of teenagers.
Over a year ago, a number of parents and younger kids
approached COLAGE to ask for something for younger kids,
out of which grew the COLA GE Kids Club. COLAGE work to
build self-esteem early on and helps kids develop tools to
deal with homophobia that children of lesbians and gays
face.
For further information on this group ( which has over
a thousand members), contact: COLAGE; 2300 Market
Street #165; San Francisco, CA 94114.
Phone: ( 41 5) 861-5437; fax: ( 41 5) 255-8345;
email: Kidsofgays@aol.com.

P, operty of the Cm.Qr

PROJECT OPEN MIND
UPDATE-

Thanks to all of you for participating in the training sessions for Project Open
Mind. We have scheduled another training for Saturday, November 11, 9:00 a.m. to
noon. If you are interested in participating, please call for location. (We need to
know the number of persons participating before we c a ~ ) . PFLAG has sent us
additional "talking points''so for those persons who are willing to be listed on the
Speakers Bureau, if you will let me know, I will get packets of information to you.
Please call 749-4901 or 742-8565.
The PRESS CONFERENCE is scheduled for Wednesday, November 8, 1995. at
1:30 p.m. in the Aronson Room, Lower Level, Tulsa City County Library,
Downtown, 5th and Denver. We hope the room is filled, so please come and bring
friends that will stand with us as we make the announcement about PROJECT
OPENMIND.

We will begin immediately to schedule presentations. If you can open a door for us to
a church, organization, business,etc. Please call 749-4901 and leave a message,
someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
We thank each of you that have given financial gifts to Project Open Mind. Media
buys are very expensive and we do not want our ads to run at three in the morning.
Your gifts have also helped to buy additional materials that will be needed for
presentations. Thank your. If you want to give and have not yet had the
opportunity, please call Nancy at 742-8565 or send your gift to PFLAG, P.O. Box
52800, Tulsa, OK 74152. Gifts to PFLAG are tax deductible.

tolij?

-----------------

CALL 10 AC. IO~
A. ,ALL f()R HELP
Your help is needed NOW! Together we can
stop "HIV/AIDS associational employment
discrimination" in Tulsa (and perhaps the United
States) by helping ensure a victory for the first
human rights case of its kind .
What makes this case so special to you? The
HIV/AIDS associational employment
discrimination happened right here in Tulsa,
Oklahoma. All of us (partners, coworkers,
friends, parents, children) are at risk of
experiencing prejudice and losing our jobs
because we care for a loved one living with
HIV or AIDS.
The facts: One of our own was suspended and
eventually lost his job simply because of his
association with an HIV positive partner (who is
now deceased) . The Plaintiff was and continues
to be HIV negative. The evidence supports that
the Plaintiff, who is known to many in our
community, lost his job because the Defendant
(the owner and operator of a well-known
restaurant) acquiesced to the prejudice and
irrational fears of his customers. Allegedly,
customers complained after another customer of
the restaurant asked the Plaintiff about the health
status of his partner.
This case is about enforcing the rights we
already have under the law. The facts of this
case fully support the first "AIDS-associational"
case to go to trial in the United States since the
passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act
(ADA) in I 990 .

The ADA is a federal law that protects the rights
of the disabled. It makes illegal any
discrimination against an employee because
he/she is regarded as having a disability (for
example, you experience discrimination because
someone thinks you might be HIV positive) or
b~cause he/she has an association or relationship
with someone who has a disability (for example,
you experience discriminatory treatment because
you associate with someone who is known or
thought to be living with HIV or AIDS). The
ADA also makes it illegal to retaliate against any
employee because he/she has opposed an illegal
practice.

There are significant financial needs in
bringing this case to trial that cannot be paid
by the Plaintiff. In particular, to help ensure a
victory, the Plaintiffs attorneys have strongly
recommended that a specialized consultant be
hired to : (I) guide the jury selection process so
as to select as fair and non-biased a jury as is
possible in Tulsa, Oklahoma; and (2) to skillfully
frame the issues on this sensitive and
controversial topic.
How you can help. The costs for these services
are expected to be $7500.00. None of this
money will go to the Plaintiffs lawyers. Should
you decide that you want to help win this case
for the Plaintiff and all of us, please send your
tax deductible donation payable to: Legal
AID -AIDS Project at 1350 East 15th Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74120. If you wish to gain '
more information regarding this case or how you
can help, contact Marilyn lhloff at 587-2566 . Fb

Upcoming Events

Clinic News

Red Ribbon Treefest

The tohr HIV Testing Clinic is in desperate
need of computers (even one would be
helpful). H you or someone you know
~
would be interested
in donating a
~
computer or the
.~
money to buy one,
please call Claudette
at (918) 742-2927.

The Treefest is an annual event where decorated
holiday trees are auctioned to raise funds for local
organizations serving persons with HIV/ AIDS .
Funds raised through the 1995 auction will benefit the

*

HIV Resource Consortium (to
purchase prescription drugs) and
the Interfaith AIDS Ministries (to
help pay for their AIDS
information telephone line.)

The 1995 Red Ribbon Treefest will be held at The
Spotlight Theatre, 1318 Riverside Drive. The 1995 tree
viewing reception will begin at 4:00 p.m. with the
auction following at 5:30 p.m. on December 3, 1995.
For more information contact a member of the
Treefest Committee: Steven at 663-5372, Linda at 4816067 or Aaron at 492-7438. •

"The Long Way 'Round to Ninevah"
The Jonah story in song and dance will be presented
by the parish family of St. Luke's Episcopal Church,
Bartlesville, Oklahoma at All
Souls Unitarian Church, 2952 S.
Peoria on Saturday, November
11, 1995. The Matinee
performance (2:00 p.m.) and
evening performance (7 :00 p.m.)
will benefit the Interfaith AIDS
Ministries . For ticket information call 438-2437 or
663-5372 .

World AIDS Day
Tulsa's Sixth Annual W arid AIDS Day Candlelight
March and Memorial Service, sponsored by the
Interfaith AIDS Ministries, will be held on December
1, I 995 . Participants will gather in the plaza north of
Sharp Chapel on the University of Tulsa Campus at
6:30 p.m. and march to the Great Hall
in the Alan Chapman Activity Center.
Organizations are encouraged to bring
banners and participants are asked to
bring bells of some kind. Candles will
be provided. The memorial service will be followed by
a reception. For more information call 438-2437 .

Positively Negative
Positively negative, a co-facilitated dialogue
for HIV negative gay and bisexual men will
start its second session in December. The first
group was well received and the second
group is expected to fill-up fast. If you are
interested in participating, please call Jason at
(918) 742-2927. RJ

The Name Game
The tohr HIV Testing Clinic is asking for
your help in choosing a catchy new name for
the clinic. If you have a brilliant idea for a
new name for the clinic, call Claudette at
742-2927 or send your entry by mail to P.O.
Box 2687, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74101. (Be sure
to include your name along
with your suggestion for the
clinic name.)
Names must be submitted by
November 30, 1995. The new
name will be announced at the Holiday
Dinner. The individual who suggested the
name will receive a special prize in addition
to a free year's membership in tohr. RJ

Unwili1U[11~1fii~imi1~[1i mmm1r OK
M 001 111 449

P,·operty of the Center

to"t:
---------------------:from Your

President
Vuring a recent visit to
:Mem_phis I had the
o_p_portunity to visit their
Community Center. What a
great _pface ! .'A gen t[eman at the Center
took the time to give me a tour and ta[k
with me a6out their community. The
6udget is a6out s18,oon.oo yer year ancf
they have a6out 1800 square feet with no
_paid staff They have a T.V. ~oom where
they show movies every :Jricfay night, a
(encfing lr6rnry, and each Saturaay they
have a coffee house with five music. They
don't nave any outreach _prngrams 6ut do
a[fow other organizations to use tfze
Center, a smarrfee is involve£ They have
had·a Center since 1988 and this is their
3rdfocation and the 6est to-date, I was
to(cf. What they have a [ack of is vo[unteen
to staff and_partici_pate in the Center
activities. Overn([ I was very im_pressed
and excited to see a Center in good
o_pernting order.
This of coune 6rings me to my vision for
Tufsa's Center. We are a city a6out the size
of :Memphis andshou[d6e a6[e to su_p_port a
Center equa[ to or forger than the in. What
I saw in :Mem_phis ancf have seen here in
Tufsa is a [ack of vo[unteers to make things
ha_p_pen. TO:J-f'R current[y needs vo[unteers
to staff our he[pGne. This is a very sma[(
commitment requiring a two hour shift
each month. We need to Ji(( ten _positions as
soon as _possi6(e. Our [ack of_partici_pation
in staffing the he(prine makes me a Gtt[e
concerned a6out hm-v we wi[[ staff a
Community Center when it is o_pen/ What
we need is more _particiyation from the

Les6ian, 'Bisexua( and(jay community in
Tufsa ancfsurrnuncfing areas. 'By
_partici_pating in TO:J-f'R you can he(p 6ring
a6out _positive change for our community.
1'artici_pation in TO:J-f1{ events is a great
way to meet _peo_p[e and_put a smifingface
on our community for visitors and
ne1-vcomers.

Tufsa, we have some very exciting things
ha_p_pening within the Les6ian, 'Bisexua[
and(jay community ana each and
everyone of you cou[d6e an integra[ _part
of these advances. We need your su_p_port in
unifying our community to create change.
It's easy to sit at home and say, '1'[( go to
the next event or meeting", 6ut each event
6Yings o_p_portunity to _partici_pate in
creating change and we neea your
_particiyation. There are fots of ways you
can su_p_port TO:J-f1{. (jive us a ca[[, or 6etter
yet attend a meeting. I 6eueve you wi[[ 6e
_p[easant[y sur_prisea6y how much fun is
awaiting you.
Let's unffy our community ant£ create
_positive cfzange for every Les6ian, 'Bisexua(
ant£ (jay _person in Northeastern
Ok[ahoma. See you soon!
Tim

HIV Testing Clinic
4158 S. Harvard, Suite E-2
918 742-2927
Free and anonymous finger-stick method
Walk-In Clinic No Appointment Required
Monday and Thursday Evening
Testing 7:00. 9:00 PM
Daytime Testing By Appointment
Monday through Thursday
10:00 AM. 5:00 PM

to~
-------------------------------TO:JfX
~:NV_'AL

:J{0 LIV.Jl Y

1JINNTX
The Annual TOHR Holiday Dinner has been
scheduled for December 8, 1995 at All Souls
Unitarian Church. The night promises to be a
w~mderful evening featuring good food,
fnends, and entertainment, as well as the
annual auction.

1996 Candidates for
TOHR Executive Board
The Nominating Committee presented the
following list of candidates during the
October Board meeting:
President - Debbie Starnes
First Vice-President - Mariam Childers
Second Vice-President - Rob Hill
Secretary - Sue Minshall
Treasurer - Pam Pretz

TOHR will be providing the entree for the
dinner. Everyone attending is asked to bring
an accompanying dish in accordance with the
following list:

Elections will be held during the November
7th general meeting ofTOHR- 7:00pm in
the Choteau Room at the Alan Chapman
Activity Center on the TU campus. Fb

First letter of last name

Has your membership expired or have you
just discovered tohr? If so, join tohr today!

A-I
J-Q
R-Z

type of dish
veggies
desserts
salads

The evening will begin with
a social hour at 6:30 p.m.,
followed by the dinner at
7:00pm.

The Board of TOHR
invites everyone to join in
celebrating the holidays with their extended
community family. RJ

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED
Volunteers are still needed to help answer
Tulsa's only Helpline for gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered
•
communities. If you feel you
can give a few hours a month
to help with this important
service, call 743-GA YS and
leave a message for the
Helpline Coordinator. Pi

Although memberships arc due on August 1, 1995 , tohr
gratefully accepts memberships throughout the year. If
you've not sent your membership - please do so today
and invite a friend to join you!

TOHR Membership
Please detach and mail lo: P .0 . Box 52729 , Tulsa , OK
. 74152
Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address: _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City :_ _ _--'State_;_Zi p.:__
Phone: _ __ _ _ _ _ __
Signature.~·_ _ _ _ _ __
D $1() Limited Income/Student Membership
D $20 Regular Membership
D $35 Organizational/I lousehold Membership
D $ 100 Sustaining Membership

0 I am currently receiving tohr mailings
0 I am not on the mailing list
0 Please contact me about volunteering