extracted text

., an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgendered and their friends.

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VOLUME

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ISSUE

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MAY

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JUNE

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JULY

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1997

Equality Through Visibility
THE

1997 GRAND TRAVERSE AREA

PRIDE CELEBRATION
SPONSORED BY
FRIENDS NORTH, AND
THE GRAND TRAVERSE AREA P-FLAG
Children, Parents and Friends Welcome
Saturday, June 28, 1997

The Robb Farm,
corner Horn Rd. & M-204 in Leelanau County
$1 0 donation for food appreciated
(Campers welcome after 3 pm on June 27)

Robb Farm

For info call:
Carol - (616) 275 -7102
or
Jim - (616) 922-9205

Events: Friday, June 27

Campers arrive after 3 pm .
Port-a-Johns available.
Please bring your own everything else,
including trash containers.
Settle in and enjoy hiking and exploring the land.
Saturday, June 28: Pride Celebration

FABULOUS Garage Sale-8 am to 3 pm
Games/activities for everyone strting at 11 :00 am
Activities for young children
Bike tour-11 :00 am to 2 pm
Hike & explore beautiful Robb Farm
Picnic Extraordinaire-3 pm ($10 donation appreciated)
Evening Bonfire and Weenie Roast
Outdoor Movie-approx 9 pm
Sunday, June 29
Departure of campers-by Noon, please
Bring: Blankets, Chairs, Jackets, etc.

Food and soft drinks provided.

WE'VE GROWN!
FRIENDS NORTH OFFICIALLY WELCOMES TRANSGENDERED
by M 'Lynn Hartwell, V.P., and the
Board of Directors of Friends North, Inc.
At the April Friends North, Inc., board meeting, a motion was
presented to the Board of Directors to add the transgendered
community to our organizational mission and community. The
Friends North, Inc., Board unanimously approved this motion.

The types of discrimination transgendered citizens suffer from
are very similar to those suffered by gays and lesbians : public
violence and vilification in employment, in education, by medical
services, by police; they receive inadequate services both public and
private, in custody cases, invisibility of those who pass and strong
labeling of those who don't pass.
Transgendered people are discriminated against by family and
friends; experiencing harassment and/or discrimination in varying

TRANSGENDERED

continued on page 11

Richard Tuxbury

Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N
information.)
FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and
their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. Located in Traverse
City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
and a scholarship fund for financial assistance.
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Grace Episcopal Church at the Corner of Washington &
Boardman the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. Everyone is
welcome to attend.
Brenda Bartz - 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aoLcom
Victor Dinsmore, Secretary - 616-459-5759/itsyrigloo@aoLcom
Jim Groya - 616-946-7313
M'Lynn Hartwell-VP - 616-943-5050/les n more@aol.com
Jim Ingleson - 616-922-0925
Carol Lambertson, Pres. - 616-275-7102/tclambo@gtii.com
Ben Maddy- 616-271-3926/coolj707@aol.com
Julie Parker - 616-276-9330
Sue Schwartz, Treas. - 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aoLcom

FROM THE EDITOR,
I just finished watching the season
finale of "Ellen," and am wonderfully
surprised at the way the writers have
turned the usually flaky and ambiguous
Ellen into a confident, loving, and strongbut-sensitive person. Ellen's weekly
visibility quickly takes the shock away from the word 'lesbian,' and
then more gradually, the warm and lovely character of her brings
acceptance to its viewers. And, soon a neutral acceptance may turn
into something more, like 'promoting' being gay!
Which is why the religious extremists are so upset. As you
probably have already heard, they are attempting to force the
advertisers and sponsors to drop the show, and they're
threatening a boycott of Disney. Ellen, meanwhile, is quickly
growing into a real person with very real ideas, dilemmas,
frustrations and dreams. She has lost a few friends but has gained
integrity and moved us, the gay and lesbian invisibles, into the
spotlight of the moment.
Locally, the visibility increases also. Thanks to the Traverse
City Human Rights Commission, this May, the gay and lesbian
community was asked to participate in a community forum
organized to end discrimination. Appreciation goes to Guy Molnar
who spoke about the situations that gays and lesbians face on a
daily basis here in Traverse City. Interlachen Public Radio also
has featured part of this forum as well as interviewing Guy. Lest
you forget, gays and lesbians comprise the largest single minority
group in the TC area, followed far behind by Native Americans,
Hispanics, African-Americans, and Asians.
The Traverse City Record Eagle also featured local gays and
lesbians on the morning after Ellen's coming out show. Those
who stepped forward to share their lives and their views on being
gay were John Evans, Aimee Wells, Jim lngleson, and Susie Keillor.
This was one of the few times that the Record-Eagle has presented
gay issues without involving a token 'anti-gay' viewpoint. I
consider this a fine step forward, as the rhetoric presented has
been simply too predictable and hateful.
Don't forget the big events this summer, and especially the
Bike Tour. It would be great to see more local people represented,
and remember-all abilities are welcome, as this is not a race-just a
fun couple of days of touring and a way to meet some really neat
people. I hope to see you there!

NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor: Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tux00 l@aol.com
Publishing & Layout: Richard Curtis: 616-929-9605
or e-mail: rlc@traverse.com
Advertising: Ric Nelson: 616-933-7116
Mailing List: John Evans: 922-0746
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $120.00 for
6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call
'advertising' for rates.
SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking 45° North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part of this, and
to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #3, April 15. Issue #4 June 15, Issue #5 August 15.
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes to our address.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies are sent
bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.

HAIR FORCE ONE
801 West Front Street
Traverse Cit1/. MI 49684
For Appointment Call
941-8255

D

Mark Lizenby

printed on recycled paper
NElWORKING 4S°NORTH

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Carol Lambertson

BOARD NOTES:

FROM THE PRESIDENT ...

Carol Lambertson
In an attempt to maintain good communication among the
Friends North Board of Directors, the membership and the readers of
this newsletter, we are adding this section to provide you with a
synopsis of what really happens at our board meetings.
We welcome feedback in the form of phone calls, letters to the
editor and attendance at the board meetings. Please let us know if this
information is helpful to you!

Hopefully most of the snow has melted from
your lawns and driveways, and the early signs of
spring are peeking through in sunny clumps. I'd like
to use the analogy of Spring -- newness, light,
budding, warmth, new growth, etc. -- to discuss my perception of
what's happening with Friends North.
Since being elected to a position on the Board and then assuming
the chair of President, I have seen so much happen within the
organization (mostly "behind the scenes"). As with any organization,
different people have different ideas and various ways of doing things.
It is easy to get caught up in the "politics" and forget the mission.
Friends North is no different in this aspect. The organization
today is not the same as it was over 10 years ago; indeed, nothing is
the same as it was 10 years ago. There are, however, those folks who
would like to remain in that time zone, comfortable and safe from
transition. We are moving toward change, however, with new faces,
new ideas, new ways of doing things -- "new growth" -- if you will
entertain my Spring analogy.
For instance, you will notice our masthead now includes the word
"transgendered." This simple change caused quite a stir. Some people
did not want to include the word on our masthead EVER; some people
were adamant that we put it there OR ELSE. And EVERYBODY had a
different definition for "transgendered " (I wonder how you can defend
or deny something you can't even explain?).
Another sign of change is the process we are undergoing in order
to allow people under the age of 18 to become members and
participate in Friends North events. Again, some folks are not in favor
of doing this, and others think it should have been done years ago.
What results from these conflicts of opinion is strife within the
organization. Board members disagree with one another, general
members disagree with board members; in severe situations tempers
flare and folks leave the organization and/or the board. Unfortunately
the organization as a whole may then suffer from the "one step
forward, two steps backward" dance.
The challenge confronting Friends North is to maintain the
original mission of the organization, yet expand our vision to allow
for new growth and maximize our potential. An even greater
challenge is strategizing how to reach our goals by working with one
another rather than struggling against each other. (I often recall the
words of a speaker at an NGLTF conference who reminded us that
the "moral majority" loves it when we are so busy arguing amongst
ourselves that we effectively promote their agenda!!)
Change can be uncomfortable and difficult. It doesn,t happen
overnight nor without struggles and disappointments. However, like
Spring, change also is inevitable and ultimately for the better.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MARCH BOARD MEETING
INCLUDED THE FOLLOWING:
• A discussion of Friends North participation during Earth Day
with an information table. Decision was made to support the
event with a donation ($25).
• Approval of$45 quarterly to goto "Common Voices", the new
name for the Friends North rap group, to help cover mailings, etc.
• There was considerable discussion regarding recommendations made by our attorney on establishing parental
consent forms, ,a change in the wording on our membership
members
forms, and other suggestions in order to legally allow
under the legal age of 18. The board voted to follow the
recommendations made by our attorney which will eventually
require a change in the by-laws (requires vote by entire
membership at either a special meeting or at the annual
meeting). Essentially, the recommendations allow members
under 18 years of age while protecting members of Friends
North and board members from potential litigation.
• The board again discussed our database (mailing list) and the
current system of maintenance. The Membership Committee
wants to update the database and be able to perform various
analyses. Some board members are concerned regarding
confidentiality. For now, the database will continue to be
maintained by John E. with further discussion at a future meeting.
• A review of stationery samples to choose a new letterhead
style prompted a heated discussion of whether or not to
include the word "transgendered" on
our masthead and
letterhead. It was decided to make to changes in the
letterhead for now and to table the discussion of
transgendered until the ne'fht!"'BOOM-(continued next page)

•

FRIENDS NORTH BIKE TOUR, AUGUST 8-10

{616)941-8868

Join us for a spectacular weekend of biking and
socializing in beautifu l Leelanau County. Call
Friends North for an information packet.
NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

:.r~{616}941-9063
• :Jirs 9am-7 m 'lJaify • Out oftown lione 800-876-8868
1081 S. .J'tir ort 'l(paa'West, 'Traverse City, 9,{J 49686 {CofonialSquare)

-3-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Out,n

• At the April board meeting, a letter of resignation from the
Board was read from Tom Kincaid. Four people had expressed
an interest in serving on the Board and they were invited to
this meeting to speak on behalf of themselves in this regard.
Two persons were able to attend the meeting, and
after
discussion and vote, Jim Groya was elected to sit on the board.
Since Tom had been Vice President, nominations were then
entertained for the position of Vice President. M'Lynn Hartwell
was elected to serve as VP.
• Lengthy discussion of the inclusion of the word
"transgendered" in our masthead was begun. The board voted
to change our masthead to include transgendered.
• Materials from the attorneyregarding specific by-law changes
were provided to each board member to review prior to the
next board meeting regarding the" members under 18" issue.
This item will be discussed again at the next meeting.

+About
A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information

WE'RE MOVING
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is moving to a new
location for Saturday, May 17, 1997. We will be meeting at the
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse and presenting
a Canadian MOVIE, entitled "When Night is Falling." Highly
recommended by lesbians everywhere (or at least from Lake Ann)!
the U.U. Fellowship is located at 6726 Center Road in Traverse City.
To find us at that location, please follow these instructions:
US-31 South or North into Traverse City:
Turn North onto M-37, which is the highway that runs up Old
Mission Peninsula (the peninsula that divides Grand Traverse Bay
into its East and West sections). This intersection is at the corner of
Front St. (US-31) and Garfield St., and is recognizable by Arby's,
Burger King, First of America Bank and Grand Traverse
Ophthalmology Clinic;
As you continue up M-37 (Center Road), remember to keep to the
right. Do not proceed along the road (Peninsula Drive) that is next to
West Grand Traverse Bay:
You will pass a large church/apartment village to your left. That is
not the UU location. Continue up the gentle slope of M-37 and it will
curve again to the north.
Just at the end of this curve is a driveway on your right. This is the
UU Fellowship, and here is where you will find the gathering.
We had to make this temporary move due to a conflict with the
Unity Church, where we usually meet. We will be back at our
original "home" for the June coffeehouse.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse will open its doors at 7
pm. The movie will begin at 7:30 pm. Our suggested donation for
this coffeehouse is $5-$10. This event is not affiliated with the
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship.
June is Busting Out All Over
We invite all Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse attendees to
share in our June Summertime Grill and Musical Surprise. This event
will occur on the evening of Saturday, June 21, 1997 at the Unity
Church on Five Mile Road, from 7 pm until 11 pm.
Please bring your own grill foods (burgers, hot dogs, veggie
kabobs, fish steaks, chicken pieces ... got the idea?) and a dish-topass. Grilling and dinner will be done early in the evening, followed
by a Musical Surprise. You won't want to miss this evening!
Another Announcement
There will be no Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse in July. We
are taking an additional month off, this year. Attendance during the
month is typically very low due to participation in other Summer
activities by all of you.

Financial status at the close of March, 1997 is:
Opening Balance as of 3/1/97 ...... . .
Total Revenue ........ .. . . ... ... .
Total Expenses
................. .
Closing Balance as of 3/31/97 ....... .

$
$
$
$

4590.71
452.00
575.47
4467.24

NEXT BOARD MEETING:
TUESDAY, JUNE 3 - 6:30 PM - GRACE EPISCOPAL CHURCH

Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is held on the third Saturday

of each month except August and December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of$3-5 ($5-$10 ifwe have entertainment).
Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks are available.
For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
About Lesbian Coffeehouse mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message.

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Long Term Care • Medicare Supplement
Income Replacement • Home Health Care
Annuity • Health • Life
814 S. Garfield Ave. Suite C
Traverse City, MI 49684
(616) 947-4390
S-5205
NfIWORKING 45°NORTH

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Agent

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

COMMONVOICFS

NOTICE TO THE FN MEMBERSHIP

Ed Richardson
The Friends North Rap Group continues to explode in
attendance each month on the Second Wednesday at 7 :30 pm in the
basement lounge of Grace Episcopal church, 349 Washington St. At
the gathering in January of 1996 (a little over a year ago)-Common
Voices had an attendance of two (myself and Tom Barkley) .
Common Voices has grown from those two seeds to an
attendance total of 21 g/I/6/t folks at the March 1997 gathering.
Common Voices never discriminates against age or sex. It
provides a safe and supportive g/I/6/t atmosphere for anyone who
needs to connect, or stay connected, to our local g/1/6/t community.
Even though topics and videos are often planned, Common Voices
will always have time to listen to problems and frustrations. We want
to be a supportive open door for g/I/6/t's new to this area. We also
want to encourage anyone who has not been to a Common Voices
gathering of late to return. (You are sadly missed and greatly needed!)
Thanks to the work of Tom Barkley, with the support of
Friends North, Common Voices is able to send a monthly
reminder of its gatherings and activities to anyone who attends
regularly. This is another way of saying that Common Voices
cares. No one has to worry about being asked - Common Voices
will invite and welcome you!
Our 4th Wednesday local restaurant outing at 7:00 pm is
growing but we want to be able to compete with the successful
Petoskey Group. Read your monthly Common Voices reminder or
contact myself (Ed - 947-4697) or Tom at 275-6127 for the
restaurant choice of the month (or any questions about Common
Voices.) If anyone is aware of local gay friendly restaurants, please
let us know! (We would prefer to "Nibble" there) .
Our Second Wednesday May discussion will focus on "How
to tear down the wall between gays & lesbians." We desperately
need input from both groups to have a productive, positive talk.
Please come!
In June, we hope to show a video about teaching respect with
fol low-up discussion in honor of gay pride.
As a reminder, Common Voices does not mind being a sounding
board. If you need to talk, you will not only be heard, you will be
listened to! Common Voces is also encouraging anyone that writes
to bring and read their work. We also welcome photography (and a
musical performance would be fantastic!)

Jim lngleson, Board Member
After meeting with our attorney to discuss questions and
concerns that have come before the board. We have begun the
process of responding to the ever growing requests from our
communities youth for support and inclusion through
membership.
Our by-laws at present state that a person must be 18 years
of age to become a member of Friends North.
The board wi II consider two proposed amendments to the bylaws.
The first amendment regarding membership, its purpose is to
allow a minor to join our organization, but only with written
parental consent.
The second amendment allows the board of directors of FN
to expel or suspend any member who has supplied alcohol to a
minor at any FN event.
It is the intent of the Board to place these changes to a vote at
a special board to be called in the nearfuture. The board will then
publish the resolution in the FN newsletter. The resolution must
then receive a majority vote of our membership. A notice of this
meeting will be sent to the whole membership.
Any questions or comments should be addressed to the
board through the post office box or by using phone numbers
found on page two of this newsletter.

Friends North
-Upcoming Events
FRIENDS NORTH PRIDE DAY CELEBRATION
Saturday, June 28

FRIENDS NORTH BIKE TOUR
August 8-10

AUTUMN HIKE
(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

FALL FILM FESTIVAL
(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

GAY HISTORY AND EDUCATION DAY - OCTOBER,

1997

Saturday, October 25, 1997
Park Place Hotel, Traverse City

C For A World
OIJies

THANKSGIVING POTLUCK - NOVEMBER,

502 E. Eighth St.• 616-947-1965

1997

(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

COPIES • PRINTING • SHIPPING • FAX

Anyone wishing to help organize any of the above events, please
call Friends North.

Joann Ewing • Brian Bensett • Richard Curtis
A DIVISION OF LASER PERFECT PLUS, INC.
NElWORKING 45'NORTH

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Contributions
FROM THE COMMUNTIY
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS DARKLY
Alan Williams
Open any magazine, turn on any TV set, and you see it: rippling
pectoral muscles, defined abdominal muscles, bulging biceps. Read
the personals, and you see the descriptions: runner's build,
swimmer's build, medium build (whatever that is). Often there's
another statement in those personals,
too: "no fats." Enter a sexoriented chat room in cyberspace, and often the
first question that
appears, multiple times, is "Stats?" And woe to those
whose stats don't
warrant further conversation.
If there was ever a clearer sign that a lot of men are obsessed with
body image, I've yet to see it. The image dominates advertising in gay
and straight magazines alike. Whole publications are dedicated to the
pursuit of the perfect body, because a large number of gay men seek
that perfection at the cost of anything else (like a decent personality).
Heaven forbid that the image of perfection might have body hair to
mar those pees. Throw in a set of semi-pouty lips and a boyish face,
and for many it's a recipe of guaranteed sex. And the image can be
summed up in one word: "buff."
While it's true that not all men follow this concept of male
attractiveness, there's enough concern over body image that
magazines likeXYand Out have featured articles about this obsession
among gay men. In Out, Michelangelo Signorile questioned the
message that this obsession sends to
young gay men just coming out.
"It's true that there have always been
paradigms in the gay world,"
Signorile wrote, "but it seemed in the past there were more choices,
Today only one
more leeway about what was considered a gay stud.
very precise body type is acceptable--one that few gay men
have or
can achieve." I've talked to gay teens over the Internet, and they
all
see themselves are deviating too far from the icon of the "buffed boy"
to be attractive. For these young men, if they aren't "too fat" to be
attractive, they're "too thin." Theirfears aren't unfounded. In today's
gay world, men often find themselves alone, sexually and
romantically, because they don't have the buffed look. What's worse
is that many of the men I meet simply wouldn't look right trying to
put on the muscles that would make them a hot item in the gay
community.
It isn't just the muscles, however, that make this attractiveness so
difficult to achieve. The muscles have to be smooth as a baby's
bottom. Body hair suggests experience in the sexual world, and
experience suggests a range of potential sexually transmitted diseases,
including AIDS. It's no small wonder that the world of gay porn is
currently dominated by smooth, buff, young men whose semiinnocent looks run counter to the experience they
display throughout
the movie. Even magazines like Out and XY, despite their articles
suggesting the problems of presenting a single body image as
the
ideal, continue to include photo spreads of these buffed young men
in often provocative poses. (One ad in the _Advocate_, for a company
that offers AIDS resources, shows one of these buffed young men
NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

-6-

covered in nothing but a strategically-placed sheet, lying on a bed.)
As with all advertising, the implicit message is that this is the "in"
crowd, and it's a message that leaves many who are just coming out
with the feeling that they are not welcome in the gay community
because they don't have the right looks.
Is this image of exclusivity something the gay community can
counteract? According to Signorile, it is. "We need to empower
people who don't feel attractive," he writes. "I'm not saying that for
vast numbers of people the club and party scene is not fun, is not
great. But those who don't fit in need to see other images. Lots of
people don't see themselves in what they see of gay culture. The
not because it's a
range of what's attractive needs to be expanded,
good thing we should do, but because the range really is broader."
it has
Gay culture needs to remove the "body image blinders" that
placed upon itself, and stop driving people needlessly to gyms to
develop what my boyfriend refers to as "roller-coaster abs."

THE TRANSGENDERED EXPERIENCE
by M'Lynn Hartwell
"Why am I paid less because I am a woman?", "Why does he have
to payforthedinner because he is a man?", "Why can't I make love to
a woman because I am a woman?", "Why can't he make love to a man
because he is a man?" All of these questions are expressing a
dissatisfaction with the class system of gender that exists in our society.
Some people who are deeply dissatisfied with gender roles choose to
"transgress." Lesbians and Gays transgress the ru !es about whom one
should love. Other people choose a "transgendered" solution.
Descriptions from mythology, classical history, the Renaissance
and nineteenth-century history and cultural anthropology, all point
to a long standing and widespread pervasiveness of the transgendered
experience. The creation myths of several religions contain
hermaphroditic ortransgendered creatures. In fact, many traditional
cultures have included shamanistic roles for the transgendered. The
shamans were the healers, the mystics, the channellers of the truth of
their time; they were the tricksters, the jokers, the jesters, poets, priests
and priestesses.
On December 1, 1952, the New York Daily News carried the
banner headline proclaiming, "Ex-GI Becomes Blonde Beauty." For

I

.

.. .

J

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LJ

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Transgendered (continued from previous page)
the next few months Christine Jorgensen (formerly known as:
George Jorgensen) became a household topic, as story after story
was published surrounding the year George spent in Sweden
undergoing sexual reassignment becoming Christine. Eventually
interest in the subject dwindled and the front page sensation
diminished and became lost within the inner pages of tabloids. Can
you imagine what it must have felt like in those days for Ms.
Jorgensen? Imagine how she must of yearned for friendship and
support in a world absent of any community to support her even as she was constantly thrust into the public spotlight.
Before 1968, electronic music mostly happened in the
basements of university music departments. In 1969 Walter Carlos
was about as serious and as avant-garde as any musician of the day.
With the encouragement of friends he produced the overnight
musical sensation Switched on Bach (Sony Records). After a long
period of silence from this prolific musician, Walter Carlos officially
came out of the closet as "Wendy" in a trail-blazing May 1979
Playboy Magazine interview. No longer taboo, the topic of
transgenderism began turning up everywhere; from an episode of
"L.A. Law" to " Phil Donahue;" from a public-television
documentary, to a nationwide contest for an Oprah Winfrey lookalike, whose red-faced sponsors later discovered was actually a male.
Yet again our nation's curiosity was piqued during a 1976
summertime media frenzy. Controversy had disrupted the world of
womens professional tenn is. Doctor Richard Raskind, M .D., had
undergone sexual reassignment surgery becoming Renee Richards,
Doctor Richards now sought to play tennis on the professional
women's team. Many women-born-women objected that "Renee"
had an unfair strength advantage over otherfemale players. It seems
significant that Renee Richards was attempting to play a professional
sport. Had she tried to enter many other areas of professional life little
controversy would have been generated and this reminds us that sport
is yet another extremely significant gendering activity.
Leslie Feinberg has spent a lifetime fighting for a world that will
enable us to determine, define, and modify our sex and gender
whenever and however we choose. "We have the right to express our
gender in any way we choose, whether it be feminine or masculine
or any point between," s/he asserts. For example, we can have both
breasts and a penis, or don a dress and a beard, or use the pronoun
's/he.' This kind of gender subversion runs throughout Feinberg's first
book Stone Butch Blues, a novel about a butch lesbian who grows
up in a factory town during the 1950s. The novel won American
Library Association Award for Gay and Lesbian Literature and a
Lambda Literary Award in 1994. S/he also was an invited speaker at
the Stonewall 25 rally in 1994 that drew millions of Queer people
from around the world. In Feinberg's most recent book, Transgender
Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Ru Paul, s/he traces the
interconnectivity of oppressions, Feinberg hopes to evoke the
broadest coalitions possible. Feinberg asserts that we can no longer
afford to use assimiliationist approach to activism.
On October of 1996, Hermaphrodites with Attitude, and The
Transsexual Menace gathered to protest the American Academy of
Pediatricians (AAP) for their continued support of Intersexed Gen ital
Mutilation (IGM). Hermactivists denounced genital mutilation as the

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

moral equivalent of subjecting homosexuals' to electroshock
treatment and prefrontal lobotomy. As one activist, Cheryl Chase said,
"Queer sexuality ... queer gender ... or queer genitals ... medicine
is obsessed with policing, regulating and suppressing difference.
Cutting into an infant's flesh and removing its genitals only to force it
into an acceptable body image has no place in a civilized society; it
is barbarianism there's simply no other word." One
Hermaphrodites with Attitude protester, who had lost all erotic
sensation due to IGM surgery, was informed that her former
pediatrician was inside chairing the panel on "managing intersexed
children." Through her tears, she said, "That [deleted] cut off my
clitoris, put it in formaldehyde, and has it in a jar!"
Today, some45-plus years since becoming front-page news, the
transgendered community is getting a lot of attention, and rightfully
so ... So, what does the word "Transgender" mean? In short,
transgenderism is a term that is widely used today to cover a broader
range of expression, from: "Transsexualism" and "Hermaphroditism,"
where individuals experience a sense of incongruence between their
psychological sex and their anatomic sex and seek to reassign their
physical sex; to "transvestism," where individuals dress in clothes of
the opposite sex often for sexual stimulation; to "cross-dressing," by
both men and women; and "drag," popular with several within the
lesbian and gay community.
Of the 157 transgendered people surveyed by Roberta Perkins in
1994: Forty-nine had been raped and eighteen gang raped. When
asked how many felt they had been discriminated against and by
whom; fifty-nine reported discrimination from gay men, fifty-eight
from their families, fifty-two from straight men, fifty from police, fortythree from lawyers, thirty-two from othertransgendered, twenty-four
from doctors, and twenty from lesbians.
As each of us, regardless of orientation or identity, moves forward
in more clearly understanding the other, we must also always
endeavor to respect our differences. I hope the transgendered
community will understand and respect the feeling shared by many
lesbian and gay individuals that it is important for our community to
continue to support private space for women-born-women, and menborn-men. Some women. (e.g. victims of incest), need to spend a lot
of ti me with other women-born-women. They need women's space
to grow.
Likewise, the transgendered community will need the respect of

Transgendered (continued next page)

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSGENDERED

(continued from previous page}

the lesbian and gay community in understanding that the
transgendered experience is unique and cannot be fully understood.
Private space in the transgendered community will sometimes be
needed as well. And most importantly, I hope that each and every
one of us will work together to bring about our common goal -that
every member of society, despite race, national origin, religious
belief, sex, sexual orientation, or sexual status (transgender,
hermaphrodite, etc.) may be entitled to be judged and to live in peace
under a government of laws free of prejudice.

RYAN'S LEGACY
by Greg R. Baird
A few years ago, I bought a book called, The Book of Questions,
by Gregory Stock, PH .D . This little book that sells for $4.95 was #1
on the New York Times Best-seller list with over one million in print.
I boughtthis bookoutofa suggestion from a friend. Since then I have
used this during gatherings with friends as a fun and insightful way to
learn about one another. There are 200 different questions with
varying topics. One of the questions that has always stuck in my mind
is, "If you could meet any two people alive or dead, who would it
be?" I would respond by saying two very different people, Ryan
White and Charlie Chaplin .
Both of these people have inspired me in different ways. Ryan's
battle with AIDS and using his voice to inspire others has left an
impact on me along with thousands of other folks. Even though Ryan
has passed away, his legacy has lived on through many other people.
I had the invite by Ryan's Mother, Jeannie White-Ginder to come
and speak at The National Ryan White Conference on HIV/AIDS in
Chicago. I went on February 14- 17, 1997. The conference was for
youth ages 14 - 25, educators, peer educators and health care
providers. There were about 300 youth in attendance.
I was to give two speeches while I was there and facilitate a few
workshops. My presentations were about "Building a Positive
Community" and "Starting a Gay-Straight Alliance" The youth came
from al I over the US and Canada. A majority of the youth that was
there were gay and lesbian. The one thi ng I found unique was that in
most of the sc hools they came from, they are labeled "strange",
"weird", "frea ks" and "different". Atthe conference, maybe for the
first time in thei r lives they coul d all fee l a part of a commu nity, a
sense of togethern ess.
The excha nge of conversat ion
was
incredible.

The conference incl uded workshops led by educators, health
care providers and peers. As you would choose for a college class,
you could go to a particul ar class or workshop that you found of
interest. On the Saturday that I was there and after I gave my speech,
I sat in on a workshop called, "Living it in the Windy City". A group
of gay and lesbian teens shared their stories and their support of a
organization called, Horizons in Chicago. I was moved by a young
Latino youth who told of coming out to his mother when he was 15.
His Mother kicked him out of the house and without having any kind
ofa support system, he went to live on the
streets of Chicago. For two
years, he was a prostitute who was raped and beaten which is a
common part of his survival on the streets . During this time he
became infected with HIV. One night while looking at a local paper
he learned of the Horizon group. He sought out their help and with
their guidance and love, found him a place to live, a job and health
care. He is now doing well and has become a peer educator. I know
there are other youth that are probably in the same kind of situation,
and we shouldn't sit back as a community and let this happen.
I felt so fortunate to have met so many wonderful people while I
was there . One was Neil Willinson from Camp Heartland in New
Jersey. Neil, a 24 year old man, started a camp for children who were
affected or infected with HIV/AIDS . Neil started this camp while still
a college student and now is known as a person in the forefront on
the support for people with AIDS. Camp Heartland is located in New
Jersey and for the month of August, four one week sessions are
offered. The wonderful part of this camp is that it is run totally by
contributions.. The campers attend the camp free of charge. If you are
interested in learning more about this camp and children with HIV/
AIDS, I have a wonderful video called, "Angelie's Secret". I'd be more
than happy to show it to the public if anyone wishes to see it. For
more info on Camp Heartland, call them at 1-800-724-HOPE.
As you can see, Ryan White's legacy has inspired so many. It has
given people hope and encouragement. We need to spi II that out into
our own communities and inspire others, regardless of the cause.
Now more than ever we need to help and support our youth . They
are dealing with so much. So many times as adu lts we forget to listen,
we forget to take time out and lend a helping hand. Our gay, lesbian
and bisexual youth need us as a community and we need them. I'm
very blessed to have been inspired by Jeannie and Ryan White. It has
given me fuel to inspire my community. Find your inspi ration and
bri ng it home.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/ JUNE/ JULY 1997

PROFILE: DAN MILLER & JEFF ERNO
John Evans

Dan Miller and Jeff Erno grew up in communities which were but
twenty miles apart. Jeff's mother went to school with Dan's father.
Their fathers worked in the same factory, but Dan and Jeff never knew
each other until one fateful day in July of 1994, when they met here
in Traverse City.
At the time Dan was
living out in Blair township,
depending on BATA, bicycle,
the kindness of friends, and
even shanks' mare to get to
hisjobintown. ltwastimeto
move. A friend invited him to
consider sharing with him a
large apartment for three on
Eighth Street in which Jeff was
the other roommate. It wasn't
too many months before it
became an apartment for just
two.
Jeff went to public school
in Boyne City until the sixth
grade. After that he went to a
parochial Christian academy
at Burt Lake, a fundamentalist right wing Baptist school, and then
back to public school for the ninth grade. He finished up in a private
school were he was able to work at his own pace. He graduated in
1984.
" It was pretty clear to me where my life was going at a very early
age. I determined that I wanted to go into the ministry, so it was very
logical for me to be in that school system. And then I went on from
there to an even stricter environment. . . they controlled absolutely
everything-what you watched on television (there was only one set
on campus), what movies you went to ... that was Grand Rapids
School of Music and the Bible. It is no longer in existence.
"It was really my coming out process that got me out of that
situation - that really enabled me to start thinking critically ... there
was tremendous guilt for questioning anything - yet how do you
answer that question of What do I believe? What I've been taught

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about Scripture or what I know from inside from my own feelings
and my own personal knowledge? ...
"I happened to have a roommate who was going through the
same thing ... He confided to one of the resident assistants that he was
gay. Hethoughtthatthis person was a friend of his. I didn't have any
idea about him that he was gay or going through the same struggle
and he didn't have any idea about me. The RA went to the
administration and they called him before the board and expelled
him . They held meetings in all of the dormitories, and all the RAs were
instructed to inform everyone in the school that he was being
expelled and why.
"It was at this point that I came out to him - the very first person
that I came out to - we went to lunch together and I told him - the
hardest thing in the world to do. He and I kept in contact for a couple
of years, but the last thing I heard he was in Christian counselling,
still wrapped up in all that ... "
Jeff left that school at the end of the semester, returned home,
worked for a while and then entered North Central Michigan College
at Petoskey. A year later he went to work for Country Star Market and
has been in the grocery business ever since.
At present he is office manager for Northland Foods in Kingsley
Dan graduated from Ellsworth High School in 1986.
"I went to Ann Arbor the day after I graduated. I got married .
Then I went into the Army. I left for basic training in December of
1987 .. . went to Ft. Dix for basic (we all got dicked at Ft. Dix) ... then
on to Ft. Lee, Virginia - Ft. Leisure - for quartermaster training ... then
back to Ft. Dix, and I was in Germany by July of 1988. I got divorced
while I was in the Army."
I recalled that I had watched the Gulf War on TV while I was
living in Marquette in winter of 1991. Dan said he was there in the
desert performing his duties as a supply person concerned with
petroleum, oil and lubricants.
"Yes, the TV war gave new meaning to the expression 'the
rocket's red glare"'
Dan was back here by November 1991. We first met at a
gathering at Friends' Meeting House in the spring of 1992. He was
staying at the Goodwill Inn, his only option (short of the Whiting)
when his Fiero refused to take him to California. But he soon found a
job at Meijer's as cashier and moved into a mobile home in Blair
township.
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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

,

is now- there are 10 or 11 parents on the board, and all I do now
is the newsletter."
Dan is a non-parent board member. His principal job is to look
after the library.
Butthere is another focus in their life together and that is taking
care of Jeff's mother and grandmother, who live with them in their
16th street home. This past year they have seen Jeffs mother through
surgery and the necessary after-care.
"It would be difficult enough for a heterosexual couple to have
parents living with them, but Dan was completely supportive."
Our interview continued with some reminiscence of last fall's
Washington trip which they both attended. The accompanying photo
was taken during the candlelight march - a remarkable couple, not
only for their involvement in PFLAG and the gay family, but most
especially for their support of their own family.

driver. The only job I've ever had where I got written up for being
too enthusiastic: 'you're enjoying this job just a little too much' ...
I was still working at Meijer's when I started at the Book
Warehouse - worked both jobs part-time and then the Warehouse
offered me full-time. Then I was managing at the Yogurt House for
a while. So then I quit and had gall bladder surgery."
That was the occasion for me to meet Dan's parents - in the
waiting room on the second floor of Munson.
After recovering from surgery Dan went to work at Stone Soup.
Now he is attending NMC full-time, and working part-time at
Stone Soup. He also works part-time in Dean Robb's office as part of
a course requirement at NMC.
"I'll have an Associates degree in December. I'm planning right
now to go to Ferris, through the University Center. Looking to
secondary education with an English major and a social science
minor."
Dan first came out to his parents by telephone when he was in
Germany. "I just called them collect one night: 'You know what,
Mom, I'm in drug and alcohol treatment and I'm gay.' And Mom
said, 'We knew that', and I said, 'Which one?'
"So it went a little better than I expected but then I was in Europe
and they were here, and they didn't have to deal with anything other
than the knowledge. But then I came back and the problem came out
in different ways ... The argument would never be about my sexuality
- it was about a plethora of other things, but at the heart of it was my
sexuality ... I was expecting them to accept things they weren't ready
to accept... Plus, coming back was a cultural shock, and it still hits
me sometimes ... "
Jeff came out to his family soon after returning from Grand
Rapids. He was met with denial on the part of his mother who seemed
to say 'I don't believe it. I'll choose to ignore that whole side of your
life.'
"I thought that the people I had been the clos~st to would be the
most supportive and yet I think it worked in reverse, because
sometimes it is hard for someone when they have been close to you
to accept some new revelation about you. I think that was what
happened with my sister and my mother - they were really
disappointed because I wasn't the person they thought I was. But I
was. I was just trying to find a way for the Christian Jeff and the Gay
Jeff to coexist., and this brand of Christianity just wouldn't work."
After almost eight years of negative reactions from his mother,
Jeff was able to persuade her to attend a PFLAG meeting.
"Everything that I hoped would happen did. When she walked
in, there were other parents there, and immediately she saw that it
wasn't something that she did wrong. She was carrying all this guilt
around ... she felt responsible for what she perceived as my failure.
But now she has done a 180 degree turn around ... she even has a Tshirt which says 'I love my gay son."'
PFLAG has been a principal focus in Jeff's and Dan's life. Dan
had been attending in the early years but had dropped out. Jeff started
attending in April of 1994.
"The most wonderful thing about moving to Traverse City other
than meeting Dan was getting involved with PF LAG ... It was my hope
to continue to be involved until it grew in parent numbers to where it

WORDS AND MUSIC: WHAT'S NEW IN
BOOKS, MAGAZINES, CD's AND TAPES
by Rick Could
Here are some fun suggestions for warm weather reading and
listening!
Norm at AB CD's has given me the following CD list :
Happy Town, Jill Sobule. Last year, Jill created a sensation by
"kissing a girl" on MTV. The video was a hit and Jill has many more
places to explore (figuratively) on her second disc. It is almost
impossible to keep the first single, "Bitter," from running through your
head after hearing it. Norm, I feel that way about Celine Dion and
my doctor says it's killing me!
In The Mirror, Yanni. Yanni performs his greatest hits. Like? Well,
I don't know, but the guy has sold a gazillion records, has great hair
and has the thrill of seeing Linda Evans without her makeup, okay?!
A must-have for Yanni fans.
Savage Garden, Savage Garden. The cute boyz from Australia
have released their first disc in the USA. It should be a smash hit,
based on the catchy tune "I Want You". Another cut, "Tears of Pearls"
is even better, says Norm. Slightly reminiscent of early Michael
Jackson, when he was only musically "Off the Wall."
Living In A Clip, Ani Di Franco. The non-material girl is back with
a double live set. Ani's fan base keeps growing and growing and
growing, kind of like the Energizer bunny.
Coil, Toad The Wet Sprocket. This CD won't beon the racks until
May 22 but Norm has a copy and it's some ofToad's best work yet,
but don't expect another "Dulcinea." A little harder edged and look
for Toad on tour this summer.
The Saint - Soundtrack, various artists. Well, Val Kilmer may
have sported more campy wigs than Cher in this cheesy but fun flick,
but jump on the cool soundtrack of the season with tech no cuts by
(BOOKLIST

NE1WORKING 4S'NORTH

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continued page 14)

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Property of the CE! 11;er

GAY HISTORY AND EDUCATION DAY
ANNOUNCED
Matt McCormick
Right now, in the midst of mild temps and spring lilacs, the last
thing anyone wants to think about is autumn, and yet that is
precisely what we need you to do!
Friends North is gearing up for its annual Gay History and
Education Day (GHED) which is presently slated for Saturday,
October 25 at the Park Place Hotel in Traverse City. This day-long
event will be informative, educational, entertaining, and enlightening,
and is an important event for each of us to work into our fall plans.
Friends North members Matt McCormick and Guy Molnar are
working together to plan this day and are hoping for a record-setting
attendance. While the GHED does not have a theme per se there
will be a strong focus on and commitment to the younger members
of the gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual community in our region .
The day will begin with registration for those who have not preregistered and move immediately into the first half of small hour-long
seminars on a variety of topics. There will be a break for lunch:
attendants will have the option of remaining at the hotel to dine on
the premises (at a reduced rate) or wander to any of the nearby
downtown restaurants. After lunch the final seminar will be held
along with an address by the keynote speaker, followed with
entertainment.
Several details remain to be defined as of this writing but some
of the proposed topics include: " Positive Activism: Keeping Your
Cool While Making Your Point"; " Gay and Lesbian Youth: What Has
Changed and Where Are We Heading?";" A Crisis of Faith: To Be Gay
and Christian-Are the Two Mutually Exclusive?"; and" Ten Key Legal
Issues Every Gay Person Should Know." as of this writing our
keynote speaker can not yet be announced but do expect to get all
the details in a special mailer planned for early summer.
In addition to the seminars there will be a number of tables
displaying gay-proud items (books, CD's, clothing, etc.) as well as
historical information displays to give us all a better sense of our
accomplishments over the years.
The cost for this one-day event will range from $25-35 dollars
per person. As an added incentive, those participants who register
prior to August 15, 1997 will automatically be entered into a
drawing for some wonderful prizes donated by several (very

generous) gay-friendly business owners and supporters of Friends
North in the northwest Michigan area.
Please join us in October for this very important day-and
encourage a friend to come along. Also, if you know of anyone who
lives outside our region and who may be interested let Matt, Guy,
or any member of the Friends North board know so that registration
information can get out to him/her.
One final note: Matt and Guy are looking for any interested
volunteers who may wish to work in some capacity on the Gay
History and Education Day. Several individuals will be needed the
day of the event to help with registration and some set up but they
also need a few folks to help with other items along the way (poster
distribution, mailings, etc.) If you have a few hours to spare this
summer and would like to help out with this event, please contact
Matt or Guy at 616-935-4819. (Please, no calls after 10p.m.)

TRANSGENDERED

continued from page 1

degrees by most of society. Many in the legal and medical
professions fail to provide appropriate services. Every day a
medical doctor, who is a member of the American Academy of
Pediatricians (AAP) will surgically cut into five intersexed infants,
not for any medical reason, but to make their genitals look
cosmetically "normal." Most of these infants will lose their genital
sensation, some will later commit suicide because the sex selected
by the physician will be the opposite of the gender identity felt by
the individual (lntersexed = a person who has the primary and/
or secondary characteristics of both the male and female sexes) .
Sadly, and perhaps most tragically of all, the transgendered
community has experienced devastating discrimination from the very
people they anticipated the most support from - people within the
lesbian/gay community. We are pleased to say that the board of
Friends North, Inc., has made a serious commitment to remedy this
long-overlooked travesty in our region. It is important for all of us to
stand together in our struggle against injustice, hate and ignorance.
Each of us involved with the Networking 45 Degrees North
Newsletter would welcome your thoughts and assistance as the
Friends North, Inc., organization extends a heartfelt welcome to the
transgendered community- our path is not an end in itself, but a
journey toward wholeness, via the avenue of transcendence.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRACY'S STORY
-by his mother (name not available at publication)
"It's a girl!" I was told on that blustery November morning in
1950 when Tracy was born . I held my miraculous new daughter,
my first child, and examined her and saw that she was indeed a
perfect little girl. But I was wrong. Disastrously wrong. Inside
the body of that beautiful girl baby was the personality and
psyche of a boy. It has taken 22 years of tragedy and misery and
hurt for the boy inside Tracy to emerge.
All that I want to say about Tracy's growing up is that it was
rough beyond description. Tracy was a handful - restless,
fretful, too irritable to be cuddled, screaming her rage if she didn't
get her own way instantly. When our second child, Daisy, was
born two years later, the contrast between the two babies was so
sharp that even strangers noticed. Daisy was sunny, cooling,
cheerful - and very early in life terrorized by her older sister.
Sometimes Tracy hurt Daisy accidentally in play; other times she
beat her up deliberately. Even when the girls were 12 and 14, we
had to have a sitter whenever Jim and I went out, to make sure
Tracy would do no harm to her sister.
In spite of her tantrums and sulks, Tracy was bright and alert
and did well in school. She was big-boned, athletic, "a tomboy." She
delighted in heavy work like putting up screens and mowing the lawn .
During the years when the girls were in their teens every meal was a
battle. We hardly ever could sit down together without someone's
leaving the table in tears or fury. Sometimes it was Tracy who
slammed down her napkin, shouting, "Why do you all hate me?"
Oh, we did all the usual things to solve our problem -we talked
to our pediatrician and to the school nurse and later to the guidance
counselor and after that to a psychologist. Jim and I searched our
souls to discover what we'd done wrong. We ransacked our
memories to figure out how we'd mishandled toilet training or shown
rejection or made some other crucial mistake. It was taken for granted
by everyone we consulted that we, the adults, were the ones who
were in error. We had to change in order to bring some degree of
peace and happiness to our troubled family.
But the experts were wrong, for Tracy was the one who had
to change. And it is a measure of the world's ignorance of this
area of human suffering that the poor child had to travel alone to
the brink of disaster before she would find her way.
Her final months in high school were as stormy as any I
remember. The battles continued, but between them, now, Tracy
would retreat into sullen silences and nothing I tried would mollify
her. Then, suddenly, about a week before graduation, her mood
seemed to switch; her anger gave way to calm. One night I went
to her room to kiss her good night and as I learned over her bed
she pulled me down to her and moaned into my ear: "Help me, I
don't want to die." I held her to me and she said it again. "Help
me, Mom, Help me. Part of me wants to live." When I looked into
her eyes I saw such sadness as I had never seen before.
That night I tiptoed into her room every 15 minutes, watching
over her. In the morning neither or us mentioned what had
happened and she went off to school in a reasonably good frame
of mind. But as soon as she was out of the house I phoned the

NElWORKING 45'NORTH

psychologist she'd been seeing. He was greatly alarmed. It was
possible, he told me, that the calm I had noticed in recent weeks
was the result of a decision - a decision to die. When anguish
gives way to quiet, he said, it can be a prelude to suicide.
He promptly took charge of the situation. By evening Tracy
had been signed into a psychiatric hospital. After three weeks,
when it was thought the crisis had passed, she was allowed to
come home again - providing she continued her therapy. She
moved out of our house into a furnished room on the other side
of the city, found a job and practically cut herself off from us.
That was four years ago, when she was 18. Jim and I rarely
saw her for the next year and a half and whenever we did, our
hearts would sink. For Tracy was a changed person . She dressed
and acted tough. She wore rough, mannish clothes - not just
the jeans and heavy shirts that so many young people go in for,
but clunky men's shoes and a woodsman's jacket. Her black,
curly hair was so much shorter than most of the boys' in town
that she had a harsh, butchy look about her. Jim and I used to
exchange glances, but neither of us dared to give words to the
terrible suspicion that was dawning on us; Was Tracy a lesbian?
Was that it? We couldn't bring ourselves to talk about it.
Then came the day, about 18 months after she'd left home,
when Tracy turned up at our house with "something important"
to talk to us about. Tracy, Jim and I sat down in the living room ;
then she dropped her bombshell. " I am gong to have an operation
that will change me into a man," she announced. "I think like a
man; I feel like a man . Now I'm going to look like a man and live
like a man."
She had sent away for further information to the Erickson
Educational Foundation1 in Baton Rouge, La, whose name and
address were listed in the magazine. Booklets and leaflets arrived
as well as an announcement that a Gender Identity Committee had
recently been formed at a hospital in the Midwest city where we live.
Such a committee, composed of a psychiatrist, a psychologist, an
endocrinologist, a urologist, a gynecologist, a plastic surgeon, an
internist and members of other disciplines; as needed, evaluates the
cases of those seeking transsexual treatment.
Transsexual.
That was a new and frightening word for Jim and me. What
did it mean? Tracy explained (and so did the leaflets and
textbooks we read in ensuing weeks) that a transsexual is a
person with the physical makeup of one sex but the psyche of
the other. A transsexual is not the same as a hermaphrodite
because a hermaphrodite has some or all of the physical
characteristics of both sexes. Nor is it the same as a transvestite,
who is one who seeks emotional release by dressing like the
opposite sex. A homosexual is usually accepting of the sex into
which he or she is born, but engages in sexual relations with
members of the same sex.
Tracy had looked like a girl from birth, developed like a girl in
her teens with breasts and normal menstrual cycles. But despite
the outside evidences of femaleness, inside her, struggling to
express itself, was a masculine consciousness - an almost

-12-

TRANSSEXUAL.

Continued Next Page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSSEXUAL

continued from previous page

irresistible drive to be and act like a man. That's what she meant
when she told us she was a transsexual - her psychological
gender was the opposite of her body's.
By the time she told us what was happening, Tracy had
already gone through the grueling physical and psychological
explorations of the Gender Identity Committee. She'd been
interviewed, probed, poked, examined, cross-examined, her
blood and urine taken for analysis, her mind checked out by
batteries of psychological tests, her chromosomes counted, her
hormones assayed, her fantasies analyzed.
Of the 54 candidates who had presented themselves for
treatment by the new Gender Identity Committee, only two were
accepted, and Tracy was one of them. For the past year she had
been receiving injections of testosterone, the male hormone, and
had been living like a man. (It was the testosterone which had
caused the coarsening of her face and body that we had notices.)
That was the committee's basic requisite to further treatment- at
least one year of living the life of the sex to which the patient
wishes to transfer. During that time Tracy was required to be a
man in every phase of daily life, to dress as a man, find work as a
man, join clubs as a man, make new friends as a man.
This is considered an important testing period, to see how the
new gender "fits," and how powerful the desire for sex
reassignment is before the candidate goes on to the further and
irreversible stages. Tracy had taken this initial step without
consulting us, because she feared that if we knew her plans we
would try to stop her. As far as she was concerned, that first step
was a success. Now she needed our help. Before any surgery
could be performed the Gender Identity Committee insisted on the
permission of at least one member of the patient's family. (This is
required of all patients -adults as well as minors - to preclude
later malpractice suits by family members and to make sure that
someone beside the patient is aware of what's taking place.)
Tracy had referred vaguely to surgery. Just what surgery did
she have in mind? She drew a deep breath, knowing how hard it
would be for us to accept what she had to say. Then quietly and
seriously she told us that to complete her gender reassignment,
she would need three stages of surgery- mastectomy to remove
her breasts, hysterectomy to remove her uterus and ovaries, and
phalloplasty to construct a penis.
My mind reeled under the impact of her words. Why would
any young woman want to have herself diminished in such a way
- destroying the deepest and most precious evidence of her
womanliness? I couldn't grasp it. "But mother," Tracy explained
patiently, "I'm not a woman - that's the whole point. I'm a man.
Inside myself I'm a man and as a man it's a horror for me to have
breasts. They're constant reminders that nature made a dreadful
mistake in putting me together. I have to get rid of all the woman
in me, and surgery is the only way."
I tried to study Tracy as if from a great distance, as if she were a
stranger, and I had to admit that, had I really not known her, I would
have assumed that she was a young man. I would have described
this young man as being, on the surface, surprisingly composed,
considering the circumstances, earnestly answering our questions.

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

It was impossible to read anything in Tracy's eyes;theywere, as they
had been since infancy, eyes of indescribable sadness.
Only a slight tremor of her hands and voice betrayed how
much hinged on the outcome of this conversation. Tracy knew
the future could go several ways, depending on our reaction.
At one extreme we could put a stop to the whole thing. We
could storm into the hospital and threaten to sue the doctors. If
that should happen, Tracy left no doubt she would drop out of
sight, find a doctor, perhaps in Mexico or Europe, and go ahead
with the operations. That way, it would all be done furtively, with
greater risk and more trauma, but her father and I would be spared
the notoriety. With or without our permission, the change would
be made eventually - Tracy left no question about that.
On the other hand, if we thought we could come to accept
Tracy as our son, if we could treat her as a man, address her as a
man, learn to think of her as a man, perhaps something could still
be salvaged from the wreckage of our battered family life. A
question surfaced in my mind: How do we tell people? How do
we face our friends? But Tracy was our child, after all, and love
for a child can triumph over bitterness and estrangement. I looked
at my husband and knew that he was thinking the same thing.
There really was no alternative for us but to accept - him.
Him.
In that moment we made a crucial choice that turned our lives
completely around and started us off in an entirely new direction .
Our decision was yes . We would approve; we would cooperate
with the doctors in every way we could; we would stand behind
Tracy in her quest for a new self.
So it began.
We were notified that the committee wanted to learn more
about us in order to learn more about Tracy. We found ourselves
putting our innermost thoughts on reel after reel of tape. We
dredged up recollections about times and emotions we thought
we'd left behind us forever.
And gradually we began to find some answers to our
questions about Tracy and the whole baffling problem of
transsexualism. We learned, first of all, that the very concept is
still controversial, but that increasing numbers of specialists are
now convinced of its validity. We learned, too, that the condition,
while rare, is far commoner than we had dreamed. Dr. Harry
Benjamin, a New York endocrinologist who is one of the pioneers
in this field, has ventured an educated guess that puts the number
of American transsexuals at about 10,000 [it is now believed to
be around 100,000).
In 1966, Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore set up the
first American center for sex transformation. Today, about a
dozen medical institutions, among them, the University of
Michigan, the University of Minnesota, the University of
Washington in Seattle, the University of Virginia, have Gender
Identity Committees.
The experts agree that there is no way yet to point a positive
finger of blame in the creation of a transsexual. Throughout
history, an individual's sex has been established by the
appearance of his body at birth. But that appearance may be
TRANSSEXUAL. continued next page
-13-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

IL A
(Note: All classified announcements as well as personals are run
without charge. Please submit them in writing to the Friends North
address, or call the editor (6 76-271-3042)and leave the advertisement
on the answering machine along with a contact phone number)

NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS:
DOG PARADE, Saturday, August 16, in Northport organized by the
Chamber of Commerce. This year's theme is "Mardi Growl," and
costumes for owners and their dogs are encouraged. For further
information, call Dave at 386-7341. (issue 3)
BIBLE STUDY: You are welcome to come to my home and study "A
Complete Workbook for De-Mystifying the Bible's Position on
Homosexuality" and/or other subjects of interest. This is a Gay and
Lesbian Bible Study that affirms and honors us as Gay and Lesbian
Christians and removes the stigma that has been placed on homosexuality
by many. We will be studying the specific verses in the Bible that are used
against us, and also studying the verses that most encourage growth in
our spiritual lives. DATE: First Sunday of each month, from 4:00-5:30
p.m., beginning June 1st. Please call for directions: Linda Wilson, 616271-4331 (issue 3)
COMMON VOICES, The Friends North Rap Group, publishes a monthly
newsletter, thanks to Tom Barkley. It will remind people who choose to
be on the mailing list of monthly Common Voices meetings, dinners and
other group activities. Mailing list names, numbers and addresses are kept
in confidence. This information will not be given out to any inquirers by
anyone in Common Voices. (issue4)

ON-GOING ANNOUNCEMENTS
VOLLEYBALL!: Anyone interested in playing volleyball at the 1998 Gay
Games in Amsterdam, please call Bill at 616-845-5220. (issue 4)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting monthly on the
first Tuesday of each month, 7 :30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on S. Airport
Rd., T.C. For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Joe. (issue 4)
GAY GAMES IN 1998: Team Great Lakes is organizing for the upcoming
games in Amsterdam, scheduled for August 1-5, 1998. Those interested,
please call Ann Heier at 810-547-4692. Team Great Lakes sent 180
individual athletes and teams to New York City in '94. (Issue 6)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first and
third Tuesday of each month, from 11 :30 am until 1:00 at a local, Traverse
City restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact Friends North. (issue 23
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a
difference! The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To
contribute specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at 2713042 or send a check (in an amount of $100.00 or less) directly to Friends
North. (issue 4)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis Center
volunteers. (Issue 6)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY is
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services are held
on the first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call 347-8916
for details or write POB 873, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0873 (Issue 6)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION. The
group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay victims
of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823. Report
Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 6)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their

NE1WORKING 4S'NORTH

TI IF

I[

IE

JD)

Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants, DepoProvera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other
methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630. Services
are by appointment only. (issue 6)

HOUSING:
HOUSING WANTED-GM college teacher looking for room or small
apartment in Grand Traverse Area during July and August and possibly
late June. Prefer locations close to Leland. Non-smoker, references. Write
to Tom Grogan, 1044 Hatch St., Cincinnati, OH 45202 or call 513-4216588. (issue 3)

PERSONALS:
GWF-43, Never married. Looking to meet new friends; soon to have new
location-hopefully real soon. Redneck town's not for me after siz years
moving back home from the city. Time to move on and out. Write to:
Vickie Gliech, 17768 S. Tilson Rd., Rudyard, Ml 49780. Relocation upon
finding a new residence and the sale of the current residence. New job
location with Restaurant Mgmnt. as profession . Send name, address and
or phone number and I will respond. (issue 3)

GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends
North Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 p.m. at
Grace Episcopal Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets,
across from the Old Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 5)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of
men and women who get together monthly for informal discussion, often
on a particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of every
month at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30pm. For
information, call Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at 947-4697. (issue 5)
GLSTN, the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Teachers Network, is meeting monthly in
Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more information,
call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also welcome
and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace Episcopal
Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For more
information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others under
the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere that is
comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 922-4800 or 1800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Please see the Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim at 271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 3)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday evenings
from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at 341

14-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Friends North Bike Tour 1997
-~.---------.

-~

-~

-~

Friends North is sponsoring our 6th Annual Bike Tour around Leelanau County. This
event will take place the weekend of August 8, 9, 10, 1997 with biking on Saturday and
Sunday, it's intended for gay and lesbian bicyclists and their friends. Please join us again or
for your first time.
Ours is a camping and biking weekend spent in the heart of the beautiful Sleeping
Bear Dunes National Lakeshore ... with the beach and swimming nearby ... loads of great
restaurants and miles of beautiful scenery for touring; all of which make for a great weekend.
We ride loops from the D. H. Day campground in the Sleeping Bear Dunes National
Lakeshore. This is not a race and there will be a choice of distances and routes from which
you can choose your ride.
Your registration donation to Friends North will include:
• Weekend camping & set-up cost
• Routed Bicycle Tour
• Dinner Saturday evening at the Glen Lake Township Hall
• Friends North '97 Bike Tour T-shirt (Logo bike caps and Sweat shirt will also be
available for purchase)
If you know enough about the tour and would like to sign up now, please fill out the
registration/release form and send it with your $70.00 donation check.
After we receive your registration we will send out directions and the routes in early
July. If you have questions about the tour you may call on of us ... Gretchen Sauvage at
(616) 943-9819, Kirk Mallow at (616) 943-4006, or Jim Ingleson at
(616) 922-0925.

P.S. In case you're wondering ... our good friend Jeff Knebl is advising us, as he has decided
to relax and enjoy the ride for a change ... as always we thank him for all his help and advise.

Friends North
Leelanau County Bike Tour 1997
Registration and Release Form
Please read and fill out this form to register for the tour to be held on August 8-10, 1997. Return the
signed, completed form with your donation check, made out to Friends North for $70.00 to address
listed below. If you feel that limited funds would prohibit you from participating in this event please
check the box below and send a check for $25.00.
Limited funds rate D

Please Print

Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - City, State, Z i p - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Circle Requested Shirt Size M L XL
Emergency contact person (someone not on the tour).
Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Please check here if you intend to stay in a hotel

D

Make check or money order payable to Friends North and send to: FN 97 Bike Tour, Jim Ingleson,
P.O. Box 51 , Traverse City, MI 49685.
In signing below I state that I am 18 years of age* or older and I understand the hazards involved in
riding a bicycle on busy highways. I accept the risks involved as a participant of this bike tour as my
own and would not, nor will any of my heirs, hold Friends North or the organizers of this tour in any
way responsible or liable for any accident, injuries, mishap, trauma, or loss that may occur at any time
during this activity.
Signature _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Date _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

If you would care to receive Networking 45° North, the Friends North Newsletter, for one year, please
check here and include $15.00 extra in your check.

Riders registering after July 10, 1997 are not assured of getting a T-shirt. Cancellations made before
July 1, 1997 will receive a refund of one half the donation. After July 1, 1997 no refunds will be made.
* Please contact the above address to receive an under 18 years of age parental consent form to be
submitted with this registration form.

HIV/ AIDS \1\7."~il Jness Net-w-orks
Fourth Annual ~i;l,~tt!i>q:- Friday, May 30
6:30 p.m. lj~~!Ia; oeu~~l!!il!~ .:•t'ilent Auction
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Every dolla:iv::§;p ,nf':cpunts<aiJ:g:(~j.lJ::§.elp support
HIV/AIDS :• s ~~iCes in No~e,i,irMichigan.

Please

t~\~~IB ~~Ji<1C~t;;ening,
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For more information call Wif:finess Networks at 933-0279

Dear Governor Engler:
H.R. 1602, aka "The HIV Prevention Act of 1997" currently before the House
gives cause for great concern. Many elements of this proposal appear to have the
potential of enhancing the very problem it intends to address. Consider these
points:
Mandatory reporting of individual HIV positive test results to a state public
health officer; mandatory testing of health care workers; and mandatory disclosure
of HIV positive status by health care workers all represent a serious loss of privacy.
The loss of anonymous testing for HIV increases public fear of the health care
industry and the potential of ruined lives may deter many from seeking HIV testing.
Add to that the estimated 425 million dollars annually required to implement this
program, along with the fact that this amendment, if passed, will force changes in
no fewer than 265 individual state laws.
Please join your voice with those of your fellow Governors opposing H.R.1602
and Senate companion #503. Raise the voice of reason even in unreasonable times.

Dear Senator Levin:
H.R. 1602, aka "The HIV Prevention Act of 1997" currently before the House
gives cause for great concern. Many elements of this proposal appear to have the
potential of enhancing the very problem it intends to address. Consider these
points:
Mandatory reporting of individual HIV positive test results to a state public
heal th officer; mandatory testing of health care workers; and mandatory disclosure
of HIV positive status by health care workers all represent a serious loss of privacy.
The loss of anonymous testing for HIV increases public fear of the health care
industry and the potential of ruined lives may deter many from seeking HIV testing.
Add to that the estimated 425 million dollars annually required to implement this
program, along with the fact that this amendment, if passed, will force changes in
no fewer than 265 individual state laws.
Please join your voice with those of your fellow Senators opposing H.R.1602
and Senate companion #503. Raise the voice of reason even in unreasonable times.

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address

Dear Mr. Eaton:
The troubling news of Chrysler Corporation's decision to pull its
advertising from the Ellen Show on ABC has come as a shock to many
individuals. This outward display of intolerance and ignorance is
appalling. Therefore, I am forced to discontinue my support of your
corporation and the products you produce. I'm sorry to learn that
discrimination among human kind is common practice within your
organization and feel sorry for the many people working for you who
will have to continue to hide because of your lack of support.
Diversity is what our country was built on and if we are going to
continue on a road to a peaceful future, tolerance and exceptance must
be supported. Pro-active leaders will help build our future, not the
misinformed.

Dear Mr. Oesterreicher:
The troubling news of J.C. Penney Corporation's decision to pull its
advertising from the Ellen Show on ABC has come as a shock to many
individuals. This outward display of intolerance and ignorance is
appalling. Therefore, I am forced to discontinue my support of your
corporation and the products you produce. I'm sorry to learn that
discrimination among human kind is common practice within your
organization and feel sorry for the many people working for you who
will have to continue to hide because of your lack of support.
Diversity is what our country was built on and if we are going to
continue on a road to a peaceful future, tolerance and exceptance must
be supported. Pro-active leaders will help build our future, not the
misinformed.

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address

Address

-------------------------

-------------------------

-------------------------

Place
Stamp
Here

State Senator
Carl Levin
459 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington D.C. 20510

Place
Stamp
Here

Governor of Michigan
John Engler
· State Capital
P.O. Box 30013
Lansing MI 48909

Place
Stamp
Here

James Oesterreicher, C.E.O.
J.C. Penney Corporation
P.O. Box 10001
Dallas TX 75301

Place
Stamp
Here

Robert J. Eaton, C.E.O.
Chrysler Corporation
1000 Chrysler Drive
Auburn Hills MI 48326-2766

Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month the
Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans Drive,
Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information, please
call 933-0279. (issue 5)
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information please
contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 3)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 3)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and eastern
upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit organization that
has committed itself to helping and supporting the needs of HIV infected
persons. They offer a number of services, including support groups,
education, public awareness, and one-on-one friendship support.
Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena, Gaylord, and Rogers City
areas. If you would be interested in the program, please call 616-5269213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Saturday at 11 :00 am and have been moved to a new location
at Grace Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in
TC. For further info, call John at 922-0746 or Tom at 947-4647. (issue 6)
FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for gay,
lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please contact Jeff
@ 517-354-7702, or write to him at POB 391, Alpena, Ml 49707. (issue 4)

MICHIGAN WOMYNS MUSIC FESTIVAL
Every August since 1976, thousands of womyn from around the
world have returned to Michigan. We give ourselves this one week,
a week where we relax and enjoy the company of womyn during
every part of our day. Waking up each morning, our feet land on the
forest floor, our senses fill with the sights and sounds of a place unlike
any other. We are drawn to be with our community, to enjoy the
brilliant performances, and to stretch our minds through the non-stop
exchange of ideas and experiences. We come to enjoy, embrace, and
sometimes bump up againstthe diversity that is the very fabric ofour
community. Where else can we live with the influence and
interaction of womyn from most major cities, thousands of rural
miles, many cultures, dozens of countries and five generations? For a
week we know the absolute challenge and thrill of sharing body,
mind and spirit in this city of womyn.
Michigan is an experiment in cooperative community living as
much as it is a performing arts festival. Before you arrive, hundreds of
womyn have worked to create the space, build the stages, set up the
large tents that house everything frti,m kitchens to crafts, and organize
the systems and services that give our city its shape. Al I of the town
services are communally run. Everyone who comes to the Festival has
a hand in its operation; each woman attending participates in two
four-hour work shifts during her stay (one shift forweekenders). By
doing this we each learn more about the gathering itself, and we also
have a chance to get to know womyn we might not have otherwise
met. It's more than a cool idea; it's really the way the Festival runs. It

NE1WORKING 45' NORTH

is how we create the Michigan Festival that is home to each of us,
and it's how each of us makes Michigan our own.
The Land is a 650 acre woodland surrounded by the Manistee
National Forest, with beautiful woods and meadows for camping.
Once you've arrived and visited Orientation, a shuttle provides your
ride to the interior, where you can choose from popular camping
areas that are close to most activities, hike into more secluded
campgrounds, or take specific Shuttles directly to Over 50's, DART
or Family camping. Helping hands are available to assist older
womyn and disabled womyn with their camp gear. An RV
campground is located near the entrance (no hook ups, tents or cars
in RV).
Three delicious vegetarian meals are prepared each day at the
Kitchen 6 Tuesday through Sunday. First Aid care at the Womb,
general emotional support at the Oasis, and recovery meetings at
Sober Support are all provided through coordinated peer support.
Snack beverages, Festiewear and general supplies are available at
various Festival concessions.
Child care is available in three different campgrounds. Gaia
Girls' Camp offers daily activities and supervision through the
evening concert hours. Brother Sun Boys' Camp is an overnight camp
with a program of outings, crafts, cookouts, music and sports for boys
aged 4-10. Located in a mix of forest and meadow, the camp offers a
fun, welcoming and secluded area for boys, while preserving
womyn's space in all other Festival areas. Please respect the
requirement that all boys 4 and over, camp in Brother Sun for the
week, and be aware that we hold strictly to the upper age limit of 10.
Sprouts Todd Ier Family Campground provides a day camp and family
campground for moms and all toddlers 1-3 years old. In order to
participate in any of the Child care areas, all children must be preregistered by July 23rd.
Disabled womyn's resources are organized through DART. For
many womyn with specific needs, this area makes participation in a
camping event possible, yet it still may not be easy or comfortable for
some womyn to be in an undeveloped, rustic camping environment.
The DART registration packet describes the event and environment
so that womyn with disabilities can decide whether or not this event
can accommodate their specific needs. DART campground and
services are available by pre-registration only. Sign Language
Interpretation service is available for all concerts, requested
workshops and other activities.
The Community Center hosts many different community
activities and provides networking space for young Womyn, over40's, Jewish Womyn, Deaf and HOH Womyn, and womyn from
other countries.
The Womyn of Colors Tent offers community, celebrations,
workshops and special events. In its many-colored, multi-cultural
atmosphere, it offers a unique opportunity for exploration and
reclamation of our many and varied traditions.
If you're new to the Festival, ask us for a set of Tips for First
Timers, and we'll gladly send them to you to further describe
everything from the arrival process to handy camping tips.
For more information send a SASE to: WWTMC "i Box 22 "i
Walhalla Ml 49458 or call (616) 757-4766.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

either ambiguous or deceptive. Sexual identity within the
individual is fixed through a complex interaction of body and
mind, involving anatomy, hormones, neurological mechanisms,
and cultural and other environmental factors. The process may
go awry at different points in the course of development.
Apparently hormone imbalance or a viral infection or drugs taken
by the mother may lead to an improper programming of the fetal
brain. Thus the infant could be born looking like one sex, but
"programmed" to behave like the opposite sex.
Another thing that could go wrong is the male-female
imprinting that is made at certain critical times after birth. The brain
of any child must code all gender-role signals as either masculine
or feminine, and allocate either positive or negative values to those
signals." If something malfunctions during codification, the child
may become confused or contradictory in his gender identity.
Another curious fact is that the change from male to female is
sought at least four times more frequently than from female to
male. That was one reason why our local committee accepted
Tracy - they were eager to work with a female transsexual
seeking male identity. In addition, they were impressed with
Tracy's determination and emotional stability despite the
storminess of her growing-up years.
Make no mistake, it is a Herculean endeavor to change one's
sex. I know from living through it with Tracy. But once she
realized she had our support, she moved ahead swiftly. She
continued injections of male hormones she'd been having every
two weeks, and will continue them for the rest of her life. She
already had a job under male identity as a shipping clerk and had
joined several male clubs. And she was saving her money for the
expensive surgery she was determined to undergo.
I've been saying "she" because, of course, Tracy had always
been she to us. But now as I write this account I will change over
to "he," exactly as I had to do in everyday life. The switch in
pronouns has been a problem - it still is. But I've trained myself
to say "he," "him," "my son," "my boy," and to drop the
designation, "the girls," which I had so long used in referring to
Tracy and Daisy.
Daisy was the first person we told, and her calm, poised
acceptance of the news set the tone for the announcement we had
to make to others close to us. I had been petrified at the thought
of telling people, and over and over I rehearsed in my mind the
words I would use. But when I told Daisy, she simply closed her
eyes for an instant and then she said, "Oh, Mother, how he must
have suffered."
Naturally we did not shout our news from the rooftops. To
family members and close friends, we simply said, "Tracy is under
treatment for the correction of a complicated sex problem." Most
people who knew Tracy replied, "I'm glad your child is finding
happiness at last."
The time came for the first step in surgery - the breast
removal. I don't think I could ever be as brave as Tracy was, but
then I never thought of breasts as hateful appendages, as Tracy
did, to be bound down so that they would be less conspicuous.
The surgery was done at a local hospital. Today, the scarring is

NElWORKING 45°NORTH

hardly noticeable. I wish I could communicate Tracy's joy when
he first put on a low-cut boy's shirt- the kind basketball players
wear- and swaggered toward his reflection in the mirror. I guess
pain and suffering hardly count when you're achieving something
as basic as this was to him.
The hysterectomy was a Iittle more comp Iicated because, by th is
tine, Tracy was well established in his masculine role and couldn't
figure out how he could enter the local hospital as a man to have his
uterus removed. After careful consultation with his doctors, he
decided to have this operation performed in a private hospital in
another city. It was done six months ago and while it did not result
in as much visible change as the earlier operation, it had an inner,
symbolic meaning for him that brought enormous happiness.
The final - and most difficult - operation still lies ahead. It
involves a plastic surgery procedure that eliminates the vagina and
creates at least a semblance of male genitalia out of the existing
tissue. There are a number of different techniques now being
used for the construction of a penis, all of them multi-stage
procedures requiring a series of hospital admissions. The cost in
pain and expense is very great and the results not always entirely
Usually a
satisfactory, either in appearance or function.
prosthesis is required to accomplish intercourse, even after the
operation, and there is no way for the transsexual to father
children of his own.
So far, Tracy is determined to go ahead, but is waiting until his
doctors agree on the right operation for him and until he has saved
the necessary money. Lack of medical reimbursement is only one
of the hurdles a transsexual faces. To me, the legal problems have
been among the most upsetting of this whole experience. Many
times my heart pounded when I came home to find an officiallooking letter on the hall table among the day's mail. Since it is illegal
in most states to crossdress (that is, to wear the clothes of the
opposite sex), you can imagine the kind of harassment and even
blackmail that transsexual might be subject to in the early stages
of change. In the future, as people and officials become more
aware of the problem, I hope the legal red tape will be more easily
disentangled. As for what happened to us, I still shudder when I
think how gingerly we all walked the legal tightrope, while Tracy
was having his draft status arranged, driver's license shifted and
birth certificate altered . Finally, however, all was accomplished.
Was it worth it?, you might ask. There isn't a shred of doubt
now in any of our minds. The change in Tracy is a miracle to us.
After years of trying desperately to resign ourselves to an
emotionally disturbed child, Jim and I now find ourselves the
proud parents of a handsome, well-built, deep-voiced young man
who is as completely in tune with himself and his world as any
other young man of his age I've ever met. He is affectionate,
stable, productive and confident about the future. Those oncesad eyes of his are now often alight with laughter and rich depths
of feeling. He has a good job during the day as a salesman in a
men's furnishings store. He attends college at night, and is leaping
ahead in his studies and talking about going to medical school. He
has developed a wonderful camaraderie with the doctors and
psychologists who have worked with him so closely, and his
TRANSSEXUAL. continued next page
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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSSEXUAL.

continued from previous page
SENATOR APPLIES LAW TO GAY STAFFERS

dearest dream is to join them as a colleague. He'll do it, too, for
Tracy now is capable of doing anything he wants.
One thing I used to worry about was his social life: Would he
be able to attract girls and form satisfactory relationships with
them? The doctors had assured me that many transsexuals marry
and raise children they have obtained through former marriages
of their mates, artificial insemination or adoption . And Tracy, to
our astonishment, has had great success with girls. When he
meets a young woman and likes her, he tells her candidly of his
sexual limitations. Many of them breathe a sigh of relief and
exclaim, "Thank heaven, no wrestling matches," and they go on
to warm, deep friendships .
One reason why I have told Tracy's story is to move forward
just a bit the public's understanding of the suffering that results
when the psyche of one sex is trapped in the body of the other.
But I have another reason for laying bare all the misery and anger,
the frustrations and fears that Jim and I and Tracy and Daisy have
lived through. It is to pay tribute to the remarkable men and
women who have helped· us find our way out of the darkness.
Their selflessness, courage and compassion have shown me there
is no limit to what human beings, at their best, can accomplish .

Sen. Robert Torricelli, D-N.J., has extended benefits of the
family-leave law to gay members of his staff. A gay-rights group
said other lawmakers have done it informally, but that the
freshman senator is the first to write it into his office policy.
It means that a gay staffer could get unpaid leave to care for a
companion in a medical emergency. The 1993 Family and Medical
Leave Act requires companies with 50 or more employees to offer
12 weeks of unpaid leave within a 12-month period for family
emergencies.

CHICAGO APPROVES BENEFITS FOR GAY
PARTNERS
Despite noisy protests by anti-abortion demonstrators and
church groups, the Chicago City Council approved extending
health benefits to the gay partners of homosexual city employees
in March.
The 33-18 vote in favor of the measure followed more than
90 minutes of emotional debate on the controversial gay rights
issue. Family-Pac, a pro-family organization, called the vote "an
embarrassing disgrace which will greatly damage the city of
Chicago financially.
Under the measure, live-in partners of gay city workers will
be able to receive the same benefits as spouses of married city
employees. Opponents of the domestic partnership ordinance
contend it subsidizes homosexual unions.

NEWS BRIEFS
compiled by Richard Tuxbury

CLINTON ENDORSES ENDA
President Clinton met with key Senate and House supporters
of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act on April 24th in what
one of the bill's sponsors called Clinton's attempt "to lend his
strong moral support" for the legislation.
In a written statement released after the 35-minute meeting,
Clinton said ENDA "is about the right of each individual in America
to be judged on their merits and abilities and to be allowed to
contribute to society without facing unfair discrimination on
account of sexual orientation."
While most of those attending the Oval Office meeting
Thursday morning met with reporters outside afterward, Clinton
issued his statement through a press release.
Barney Frank, a cosponsor of the bill, said he is optimistic that
the bill has a "good chance" of passing Congress "very soon"
but, he added, "I wouldn't bet the farm on it passing this year."
Joining Frank at the meeting with President Clinton were Vice
President Al Gore and two of the bill's Senate sponsors, Sens.
Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) and Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.).
Also attending the meeting were Elizabeth Birch, executive director
of the Human Rights Campaign; Wade Henderson, executive
director, and Dorothy Height, chairperson, of the Leadership
Conference on Civil Rights; and Rep. Frank's domestic partner,
Herb Moses. The two Republican co-sponsors of the bill, Sen.
James Jeffords (R-Vt.) and Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.), did
not attend the meeting.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

TUCSON EXTENDS BENEFITS
The City Council agreed to extend medical insurance benefits
to gay and lesbian "domestic partners" of city employees but
refused to do the same for unmarried straight couples. The council
voted 6-0 to approve the measure, which is expected to cost
about $27,000.

ESQUIRE'S EDIT
Amid rumors of kowtowing to corporate backers and shying
away from gay sexuality, Esquire recently lost its literary editor of
ten years after the magazine pulled a gay-themed story from its
April issue. David Leavitt's fictional story, "The Term Paper Artist,"
was pulled by Executive Editor Edward Kosner because,
according to the New York Times, the story "was said to contain
explicit homoerotic scenes and vulgar anatomical references."
Kosner is quoted as saying, "All magazines have at least three
constituencies: the readers, the advertisers and the staff. I just
thought this story was going to offend many, many people.
Advertisers were the least of it."
Not so, according to Esquire's ex-literary editor Will Blythe,
who resigned in protest after he said the story was pulled for fear
that CHRYSLER, a major advertiser in Esquire, would be offended
by the work. Additionally, Leavitt's literary agent, Andrew Wylie
charges that CHRYSLER, actually ordered the story pulled.
CHRYSLER has denied any involvement, and Kosner has denied
the story was killed because of complaints-real or perceived-by the
auto maker.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

BOOKIJST

HIV PREVENTION PROGRAM FOR OUR

Orbital, Underworld and the Chemical Brothers. Other tracks
included: David Bowie, Duran Duran, Daft Punk, Everything but
the Girl, Sneaker Pimps and Duncan Sheik.
Duncan Sheik, Duncan Sheik. This has been AB CD's best
selling CD since June of 1996. ABCDs has sold more copies than
anywhere in the nation, so says Atlantic Records. A must have
for anyone who enjoys finely crafted and performed pop music.
"Barely Breathing" is the first single. 800+ copies sold so far.

COMMUNITY
Mary Merwin
The Region 7 Community Planning Group (for HIV prevention)
has received funding for a model HIV prevention program for gay
men in our region (the northern 20-some counties in the lower
peninsula). The Group contracted with me to implement the
program region-wide, although we are starting in the Grand
Traverse area.
This model was evaluated in several midsize cities in the
Midwest (one of the few that has been looked at outside major
metropolitan areas, and the closest we can come to research with
rural populations). It was demonstrated to have a significant
reduction in risk behaviors for HIV transmission.
The project is community-based and the effects occur through
changes in perceived community norms-that is, the general norm
of our community becomes one of safer sex practices. This is
accomplished through helping community leaders increase their
skills in talking about, promoting, practicing, and supporting
behavior changes that reduce risk for HIV transmission. You will
be hearing more about this as time goes on.
The project is long term since norms don 't change overnight.
Think about how long norms regarding cigarette smoking have been
changing. However, within a year, we should have measurable
reductions in risky behaviors.
This brings me to the Gay/Bi Men's Health Survey inserted in
this issue of the newsletter. It is very important for us to gain an
accurate measure of the level of risky behaviors in our community
now in order to see whether this program is effective in reducing
risks. If you are a gay or bisexual man in Leelanau, Benzie, Grand
Traverse, Wexford, Antrim or Kalkaska county, or if you visit the
area frequently, please complete the survey and mail it back to me. If
you also wish to be entered in a drawing for prizes, complete the
name and address portion, tear it off, and mail it separately to me
(9601 N. Carlson Rd., Northport, Ml 49670) .
Thanks for helping reduce the spread of HIV in our community.

MY EXPEDITION
I want to taste
the waters of your spring
and forge through your forests
to run in your meadows
and feel safe in your valleys
I want to discover
your nether regions
to grasp and cling
and then find my way
up to your summit
I want to explore
the caves of your soul
and dream under stars
that shed Iight
on your love
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

M'Lynn Hartwell

continued from page 10

At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us these book suggestions :
After Midnight-AIDS in Hollywood: The Life and Death of my
Husband Brad Davis, by Susan Davis, $24.00. The title says it all, and
the wife tells it all.
Icebreaker: The Autobiography of Rudy Galindo, $23 .00. The
inspiring true story of the world's first openly gay figure skater- -world
bronze medalist Rudy Galindo, in his own words.
Arkansas: Three Novellas, by David Leavitt, $23 .00. Leavitt's first
fiction in a while, the excerpt in Esquire has apparently created a stir.
You know, that guy-guy stuff. As opposed long articles about
intellectual stimulation and Sharon Stone's breasts.
Life Outside: The Signorile Report On Cay Men: Sex, Love,
Family, and the Passages of Life, by Michelangelo Signorile, $2 5.00.
The Out magazine columnist investigates!
At Borders, Aimee suggested the following books:
Switch Hitters, edited by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel,
$12.95 . Lesbians write gay male erotica, gay men write lesbian
erotica ... steamy stuff!
Boy Culture, by Matthew Rettenmund, $10.95. Smart, funny,
erotic, insightful. The book, that is.
Neccessary Hunger, by Nina
Revoyr, $20.70. No, this isn't Shelley
Winters latest autobiography! It is a
lyrical account of two girls, basketball
and unrequited love. I'm assuming it's
not the basketball that's being longed for.
City of Friends, by Simon LeVay &
Elisabeth Nonas, $17 .50. Studies the
institution and communities that make
up the most culturally and ethnically
diverse minority in America today.
That would be ... us!
Borders Gay/Lesbian Literature & Studies Book Group is
discussing Man of the House by Stephen McCauley in May. The
group has had great discussions. Aimee says lots of cool people
are showing up. Come on over and help pick the book for June!
Comics North! of Cheboygan wi 11 soon be relocated at 211 N.
Main Street. In the midst of moving, David Elyea gave us these
suggestions:
Dagger of Blood by John Blackburn, $2 .95. The first part of a
three-issue mini-series featuring the adventures of Coley, a 19-yearold voodoo sex god. Voodoo, huh?
Cay Comics #24, the latest issue of the long-running and awardwinning anthology series, which features a crossover by characters
from the popular image comics and MTV series, "The Maxx. "

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

JEANETTE WINTERSON
a book review
submitted by M'Lynn Hartwell

Jeanette Winterson is on top of the world, or at least close to it.
She is on the top floor of a hotel as high as the nearby United Nations,
a fitting place for an upstart who once named herself the world's
greatest living writer.
"I trust art completely, and if art's a high wire strung from the
Chrysler Building to the Empire State Building, I will walk it, and
believe that I will notfal I," the ever-confident British author says in
support of her new novel, "Gut Symmetries."
"I love to see the young kids, under twenty, coming and saying,
"This book means so much to me." "This book changed my life."
"This book set me on track." ... And what they want is something
genuine. In a way, as people get older, they start to cut themselves off
from genuine experiences and they lose that sense of risk, that sense
of openness."
The 37-year-old Winterson will let you know such a fate is not
about to happen to her. "There's nothing dull in the world to me,"
she declares, and few have found anything dull about Jeanette
Winterson, a woman with a rock star's private life and a public
literary vision.
In the grand tradition of Oscar Wilde and Lord Byron, not to
mention Mick Jagger and Johnny Rotten (whose punk hairdo
Winterson's resembles), Winterson is both an artist and gossip item
in Britain, a legend both of her's and the media's making.
As an artist, she has attempted nothing less than to take some
3,000 years of Western civilization, from the Bible to quantum
physics, and say what has never been said before. One novel features
a character named Dog-Woman living in 17th-century London. In
another, Napoleon's cook falls in love with a Venetian boatman's
webfooted daughter.
As a public figure, Winterson is known at a level rare among
young American fiction writers. Then again, picture Susan Minot
claiming she once worked as a lesbian prostitute (in exchange for
quality cookware, no less), or Amy Tan having an affair with the wife
of Richard Ford, as Winterson did with the wife of British author Julian
Barnes.
"In every century the people who actually do the work are
passionate about the work. It's always the case that they tend to live
at a level of intensity and energy which perhaps seems unusual," said
Winterson, whose novels include "Written on the Body," "The
Passion" and "Sexing the Cherry."
Winterson's childhood, a story and a half in itself, is the basis for
her acclaimed debut novel "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit,"
published when she was in her mid-20s.
"I cannot recall a time when I did not know that I was special,"
she wrote. Born in 1959, the adoptive daughter of a Pentecostal
Evangelist couple, Wi nterson was a preacher by age twelve and by
age sixteen had been expelled from church for having an affair with
an older woman. When "Oranges" came out, her adoptive mother,
now dead, decided she was a child of the devil.

"It was a place where the Lord and the Bible were paramount,
where my mother quite rightly thought that books would lead you
astray. They do lead you astray. She was an intelligent woman; she
knew," Winterson said.
More of the Winterson legend: She was a makeup assistant at a
funeral home; she was a domestic in an insane asylum; she once
showed up at the door, in the middle of the night, of a journalist who
criticized her in print; she employs her own personal astrologer.
For those who can't be bothered to sort through it all, there are
her books. They offer as reliable a record as you wi II ever get of the
author, or at least of Winterson's mind, where, she argues, her most
daring adventures have really taken place.
"I never did feel bound by space or time," she said. "I used to
have a dream I was floating in space, and the space was composed of
past and present and future. And there were doorways from which I
could enter and exit at will."
There are plots in Winterson's novels, but a plain old narrative
tale would be duller for her than a Sunday sermon. She is essentially
a novelist of ideas: ideas about art, about sex, about history, about
science, about almost everything.
"Gut Symmetries;" her sixth novel, covers such favored
Winterson territory as triangles, both romantic and mathematical; the
mystery of identity; the personality of cities and the differing theories
of Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton.
As with nearly all of her fiction, "Gut Symmetries" is a story of
travel, in the mind and in the real world. In a typical Winterson touch,
one of the three main characters is a scientist named Jove who
lectures on "Time Travel." His lectures are given aboard the QE2,
which sails from England to New York to Los Angeles via the Panama
Canal.
"It's quite funny, because I never go anywhere. There are weeks
and weeks when I don't even step off my own land. I've got a few
acres, and I'm quite happy to stay there," said Winterson, who lives
outside of London with her partner, Peggy Reynolds.
11
And I'm not one of these people who go off to India and
Australia and China and see the world. I like to go to Europe on the
train because I'm a terrible old jaded European, because that's where
I belong, in an old continent.
11
And the trouble is my partner, who is a great traveler, often tries
to entice me by telling me stories about where we'll go, because she's
been nearly everywhere in the world. Then I start telling her stories,
because I've been there in my head."
Excerpts from "Gut Symmetries," a novel by Jeanette Winterson,
published by Alfred A. Knopf.
"It began on a boat, like "The Tempest," like "Moby Dick," a
finite enclosure of floating space, a model of the world in little. Here
is a vas hermeticum, a sealed capsule on a rough sea. This is the
alchemic vessel, resistant to change, constantly being transformed.
This is us, vulnerable, insulated, entirely self-contained yet altogether
at the mercy of the elements. The Ship of Fools is sailing tonight and
all of us are aboard."
"It was night, about a quarter to twelve, the sky divided in halves,
one cloudy, the other fair. The stars were deep recessed, not lying on
the surface of the night but hammered into it. The water, where the
JEANETTE WINTERSON

NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

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continued next page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

country. HRC has been one of the Gill Foundation's prime
beneficiaries, and Gill himself has also become an active, treasured
member of HRC. He says Amendment 2 sparked his greater
involvement in HRC as well.
"I try to set myself up as a role model and be out as much as
possible because it shows people you can be out and be successful,"
he told HRC Quarterly. "For so many years, we've been programmed
to think that if you're out, you're going to be held back and
repressed. And that isn't necessarily true anymore."
Gill's foundation has become a leader in the nascent lesbian and
gay philanthropy movement, along with such people as music mogul
David Geffen and foundations like the Joyce Mertz-Gilmore
Foundation and the lesbian-oriented Astraea Foundation . In 1995,
the Gill Foundation gave away $1.1 miliion, 67 percent of which went
to gay and lesbian organizations, including Digital Queers, the Gay
and Lesbian Victory Foundation and HRC's foundation . In 1996, the
Gill Foundation and related entities contributed some $2 million,
including $100,000 to the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.
The foundation's philosophy is simple: To give money to gay
and lesbian causes because it is so difficult for them to tap other
philanthropic sources. "There are plenty of people who will give
money to Greenpeace .;Ind a lot of other things that I truly believe in."
Gill explained. "But there are other people who will do that, and there
aren't a lot of people who will give money to gay and lesbian causes.
There are very few mainstream foundations that will ."
Gill is working to change that. In 1996, his foundation created a
program called the OutGiving Project, whose mission is to get more
gay people involved in philanthropy. Each year, it brings together
committed philanthropists who are eager to learn how better to use

ship cutted it, was broken and white, but once the ship had
passed the water healed the intrusion and I could not see where
the black of the sky and black of the water changed into each
other. I thought of my often-dream where Time poured the fishes
into the sky and the sky was full of starfish; stella maris of the
upper air."
"Defect of vision. Do I mean affect of vision? At the beginning of
the twentieth century when Picasso, Matisse and Cezanne were
turning their faces towards a new manner of light, there was a theory
spawned by science and tad poled by certain art critics that frogmarched the picture towards the view that this new art was an optical
confusion. Nothing but a defect of vision . The painters were
astigmatic; an abnormality of the retina that unfocuses rays of light.
That was why they could not paint realistically. They could not see
that a cat is a cat is a cat."

TIM GILL:
THE MAKING OF A PHILANTHROPIST
Reprinted from the Human Rights Campaign

Tim Gill was living quietly in
Denver, running Quark Inc., the
software company he founded, when
the voters in Colorado passed
Amendment 2-the most insidiously
anti-gay state ballot initiative ever to
succeed in this country. "There's
always a triggering event in people's
lives and that was a triggering event in
my life," he recalled. "It made me realize
there was a lot more that I cou Id do for
gay and lesbian causes."
Gill, who became a millionaire after founding Quark, pledged to
give away one of his mi lfions to fight the anti-gay bias that led to
Amendment 2's passage, because he says, "You don't fight the law,
you try to change people's attitudes." He created a foundation to
carry out that goal, and now, almost five years later, Gill's foundation
has contributed more than four times his original pledge to lesbian,
gay and AIDS organizations both in Colorado and around the

Char P. Kirchner,

TIM GILL

ftV,

AT THE ROBB FARM

2ND ANNUAL PRIDE "GARAGE SALE" w:fr
T
We need your contributions
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Un-Married Couples - Take advantage of all your options

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NElWORKING 45°NORTH

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Tax Returns - Confidential & Discreet

P. 0. Box 1040
Williamsburg, MI 49690-1040

JUNE

continued next page

Full Service Apparel Printing

Team Uniforms..- Buttons ..- Embroidery..- Photo Items

516 E. Eighth St. Traverse City, MI.

616 ... 929 ... 3610

(616) 267-5818
-20-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TIM GILL

continued from previous page

body positive

their generosity to work toward lesbian and gay equality.
"The purpose is not to tell people where to give money but to
give them tools to figure it out themselves," said Katherine Pease,
executive director of the foundation. "A lot of donors out there are
struggling with whether to give and if they do it, how to do it well."
Another element of the project is the Gay and Lesbian OutG ivi ng
Fund, which bundles together and earmarks donations that come
from the gay and lesbian community. "Because we all have things that
we like-whether it's Greenpeace or Ducks Unlimited or the
National Snowboarders Association," Gill says. "Those kinds of
organizations don't really necessarily know that they have a gay
constituency. And if they do, then it will change their minds."
Gill, who has lived in Colorado since the third grade, doesn't
come from a family with a history of philanthropy. "My mother did
some volunteer work but certainly nothing on this scale," he said.
"My parents are very middle class." And, he says, there really hasn't
been a downside to his being an out gay man who also happens to
run one of the most successful software companies in the world.
"We've had a small number of customers who said they wouldn't
buy from us any more, but probably a larger number of customers
who said that they would only buy our products," he said. "I think
America - at least the part of America I'm exposed to, which is hightech America - is certainly moving to this space where your sexual
orientation really is a non-issue, which is the way it should be."
For more information on the Gill Foundation, call 719-473-4455 oremail GillFound@aol.com or OutGiving@aol.com

a commentary byPeter Ian Cummings

GAY-LESBIAN READING GROUP AT
BORDER'S BOOKS
-an update by Aimee Wells

Do you like to read about issues that affect the community,
or maybe just the latest of a juicy gay or lesbian murder mystery?
Or do you like to just hang out and talk to people who do? Well
then, Borders Books & Music is the place for you!
On the last Monday of every month, the Gay & Lesbian Book
Group meets in the relaxed friendly atmosphere of Border's Cafe'
Espresso. So far there have been an average of 8-1 O people of
many different age groups and backgrounds attending, which
makes for a great exchange of ideas.
In June we will be discussing "City of Friends" by Simon
LeVay and Elisabeth Nonas. The book discusses what it means to
be gay or lesbian in America today. It seeks to help us all
understand the institutions and the communities that make up the
most culturally and ethnically diverse minority in America today.
We choose the books two months ahead, so that everyone
can get a chance to read the one that they are interested in, and all
discussion group titles are 20% off at Borders.
So, whether you have read the book or not, please come out
and join the discussion, and help choose what we will be reading
for future meetings.

When I was 14 or 15 I had a dream what gay life would be
like. Of course, I related my dream to my life at the time, and how
much better my life was going
to be once I came out.
Now, my life at 14 was
pretty typical-it consisted
mainly of repressed longing
for jocks. The longing was
named Bob, David, Paul,
Alex and Chris, and in my
dream world I would be
allowed to have one of them.
In my dream, I would be able
to love, touch and hold who
I wanted . In my dream, boys
would give me their love
freely and openly: a gift. Was
this too much to ask?
When I first cam.e out in 1985, gay life was pretty much like my
dream come true . I felt so very much freer than I had as a closet
teenager. I met lots of new people; some times we liked each other
and when we did, we had sex. None of the people I know from that
time thought the sex was meaningless. We made an emotional
connection. Sometimes it led to love. Sometimes it led to us being
really close, and I met most of my closest friends that way.
But something gradually happened, and we gave away our
right to enjoy our sexuality. It would be hard to construct a more
sex-negative bunch of people than young gay men today. Feeling
lonely? Five years ago, there was an easy solution : go out and try
to meet someone. But if you do that today, don't tell your
friends-it's considered cheap. And if you do get off with
someone, better keep it secret. Especially if you get off with too
many people. You'll get a bad reputation.
Hey-does this sound like straight kids in the '50's to you?
And by the way, who are you allowed to have sex with today
anyway? You can't have sex with anyone you know because it
would create a scandal. And you can't have sex with anyone you
don't know because it's cheap.
Some people say this new sexual repression leads to healthier
relationships. I don't think so. I don't think repression ever leads
to healthier relationships. If you said that to gay kids in the '80s
they'd have laughed you out of the room.
When I came out, gay life was great because people had sex,
and when they had sex they did it with celebration, feeling and
high style. So, I dare to ask: why should people out of long-term
relationships, be denied emotional contact with another person? I
think it's fine to reject "uncaring sex" as cheap [if you want to]but I think sex is indeed a question of caring, rather than of prissy
rejection due to community pressure.
This sex-rejection, which leads to sadness and loneliness, is
not a direction I want young gay men to go.
POSITNE

NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

-21-

continued next page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

POSITNE

continued from previous page

Unfortunately many sources are happy to encourage us in
Out Magazine recently
this cycle of repression. For example,
referred to XY as "a dubious achievement" and compared us to
the porn magazine Freshmen.
Obviously Out's position says more about Out-and the
"respectable" [read: sexually conservative] gay establishment who
make up their intended audience-than about XY. They and much of
the gay establishment are only too happy to blast anyone [read: XY]
who presents a freer and more constructive way of expressing our
sexuality.
These so-called leaders have staked their careers on the
increasing "respectability" [read: neutering] of the gay communityit earns them millions of dollars. Never mind if it leads to loneliness.
·you know what? I don't care about being
that kind of
respectable. It was never what I wanted from being gay anyway. You
know what? I think we should express our sexuality all the time and
be open about it. Please everybody: get down! Yet-and this is why
I am so upset-what hit me after reading that thing in Out was,
exactly how far my teenage dream is from "majority" gay thinking, as
represented by the Out article and the sex-negative feeling behind it.
Being gay is not about copying straight people's lifestyles. It is
about blazing a new trail and being true to ourselves in new ways. It
is about beauty, aesthetics, hot sex and love and emotions run wild.
I am tired by this unholy alliance between the gay establishment and
the straight one they are copying, which cannot tell the difference
between the meaningless sexuality represented by
Freshmen and the
integrative one represented by XY.
Gay liberation is the freedom to express our love, part of which
is the freedom to express our sex. We must not be monopolized by
this gay establishment who says you and I are somehow less
respectable because we want to integrate our sexuality with our lives.
If we repress our sexuality in the name of respectability, we become
exactly who straight people want us to be--i .e., straights.
Some people say this "toning down" of gay life is progressive,
that it heralds our acceptance into mainstream society. I call it
repression. These people simply misunderstand what being gay is.
But we can still dream. And I wish they'd shut up and get out of
our way.
Peter Ian Cummings is the editory of XY Magazine
($5.95 at Borders Books

THE LAMBDA UPDATE
HAWAll MARRIAGE BREAKTHROUGH:
ONLY THE BEGINNING
by Evan Wolfson
On December 3, 1996, we won, and won big. Hawaii Circuit
Court Judge Kevin Chang ruled that the government had failed to

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

show a single compelling or even logical reason for denying lesbian
and gay couples the freedom to marry. The historic victory in our
Baehr v. Miike trial marks the first time that a court has declared
that gay love and gay families are entitled to full and complete
equality.
While there is much more we must do now, we should savor
the power of this moment. In the clear, cool, dispassionate light of
a courtroom, a highly respected judge looked at all the arguments
and evidence put forward for sex discrimination in marriage, and
found that none held up. By contrast, and despite the state's
attempts to prove otherwise, the court concluded that all evidence
shows that gay people make good parents; our children are
growing up healthy and well-adjusted; our relationships are as
committed and loving as those of non-gay people; and we share
the same mix of reasons for wanting and needing the freedom to
marry as our non-gay brothers and sisters.
Perhaps most important, Judge Chang observed that ending sex
discrimination in marriage would harm no one, would take nothing
away from non-gay couples or children, and would help same-sex
couples, our children and loved ones, and, indeed, society itself. Far
from being an attack on marriage, Judge Chang concluded, allowing
gay people the freedom to marry would strengthen that institution
and benefit families. So what comes next? This historic decision
stands, while, as predicted, the actual order requiring issuance of
marriage licenses is on hold during the state's appeal. Lambda's cocounsel, Dan Foley of Honolulu, and I now will litigate this case in the
state supreme court. We expect a final decision by early 1998.
Meanwhile, for those who are asking: "what should I be doing to help
in 1997?" there are three critical tasks:
First, help beat back the backlash, by defeating the Christian
Coalition's anti-marriage bills in the state legislatures. Backlash '97
will be fierce and furious; our enemies know how close we are to
transforming our position in society.
Second, help Hawaii. The anti-gay, anti-marriage groups are
plotting attempts to strangle our case in its cradle by flooding Hawaii
with money and hate.
enlist non-gay allies. What we
Third, do your part personally to
must do, and what our enemies don't want us to do, is continue the
dialogue on marriage, changing the vocabulary with which society talks
about us. Chant my mantra ("there is no marriage without
engagement'') and, well, go out and engage non-gay people to support
our f~eedom to marry. Allies like NOW, the ACLU, PFLAG, and
religious voices in several mainstream denominations have signed the
Marriage Resolution and have joined us in the struggle. Now it is up to
each one of us, gay or non-gay, to go and ask others, group by group,
person by person. Don't just read this ... please go and do it!
1996 was the year we fully began the national conversation
on gay families and our freedom to marry; now, 1997 must be the
year that we clinch the deal with the persuadable non-gay public,
the "movable middle" not yet with us, but reachable.
Hawaii's state motto is "The life of the land is perpetuated by
righteousness." Here, throughout our land, all people have the
chance to be righteous. In Hawaii and the other 49 states, let's beat
back backlash '97 and fight onward to full victory.

-22-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

POSITIVE

continued from previous page

Unfortunately many sources are happy to encourage us in
this cycle of repression. For example,
Out Magazine recently
referred to XV as "a dubious achievement" and compared us to
the porn magazine Freshmen.
Obviously Out's position says more about Out-and the
"respectable" [read: sexually conservative] gay establishment who
make up their intended audience-than about XV. They and much of
the gay establishment are only too happy to blast anyone [read: XY]
who presents a freer and more constructive way of expressing our
sexuality.
These so-called leaders have staked their careers on the
increasing "respectability" [read: neutering] of the gay communityit earns them millions of dollars. Never mind if it leads to loneliness.
·vou know what? I don't care about being
that kind of
respectable. It was never what I wanted from being gay anyway. You
know what? I think we should express our sexuality all the time and
be open about it. Please everybody: get down! Yet-and this is why
I am so upset-what hit me after reading that thing in Out was,
exactly how far my teenage dream is from "majority" gay thinking, as
represented by the Out article and the sex-negative feeling behind it.
Being gay is not about copying straight people's lifestyles. It is
about blazing a new trail and being true to ourselves in new ways. It
is about beauty, aesthetics, hot sex and love and emotions run wild .
I am tired by this unholy alliance between the gay establishment and
the straight one they are copying, which cannot tell the difference
between the meaningless sexuality represented by
Freshmen and the
integrative one represented by XV.
Gay liberation is the freedom to express our love, part of which
is the freedom to express our sex. We must not be monopolized by
this gay establishment who says you and I are somehow less
respectable because we want to integrate our sexuality with our Iives.
If we repress our sexuality in the name of respectability, we become
exactly who straight people want us to be--i.e., straights.
Some people say this "toning down" of gay life is progressive,
that it heralds our acceptance into mainstream society. I call it
repression. These people simply misunderstand what being gay is.
But we can still dream. And I wish they'd shut up and get out of
our way.
Peter Ian Cummings is the editory of XY Magazine
($5.95 at Borders Books

THE LAMBDA UPDATE
HAWAll MARRIAGE BREAKTHROUGH:
ONLY THE BEGINNING
by Evan Wolfson
On December 3, 1996, we won, and won big. Hawaii Circuit
Court Judge Kevin Chang ruled that the government had failed to

NfIWORKING 45°NORTH

show a single compelling or even logical reason for denying lesbian
and gay couples the freedom to marry. The historic victory in our
Baehr v. Miike trial marks the first time that a court has declared
that gay love and gay families are entitled to full and complete
equality.
While there is much more we must do now, we should savor
the power of this moment. In the clear, cool, dispassionate light of
a courtroom, a highly respected judge looked at all the arguments
and evidence put forward for sex discrimination in marriage, and
found that none held up. By contrast, and despite the state's
attempts to prove otherwise, the court concluded that all evidence
shows that gay people make good parents; our children are
growing up healthy and well-adjusted; our relationships are as
committed and loving as those of non-gay people; and we share
the same mix of reasons for wanting and needing the freedom to
marry as our non-gay brothers and sisters.
Perhaps most important, Judge Chang observed that ending sex
discrimination in marriage would harm no one, would take nothing
away from non-gay couples or children, and would help same-sex
couples, our children and loved ones, and, indeed, society itself. Far
from being an attack on marriage, Judge Chang concluded, allowing
gay people the freedom to marry would strengthen that institution
and benefit families. So what comes next? This historic decision
stands, while, as predicted, the actual order requiring issuance of
marriage licenses is on hold during the state's appeal. Lambda's cocounsel, Dan Foley of Honolulu, and I now will litigate this case in the
state supreme court. We expect a final decision by early 1998.
Meanwhile, for those who are asking: "what should I be doing to help
in 1997?" there are three critical tasks:
First, help beat back the backlash, by defeating the Christian
Coalition's anti-marriage bills in the state legislatures. Backlash '97
will be fierce and furious; our enemies know how close we are to
transforming our position in society.
Second, help Hawaii. The anti-gay, anti-marriage groups are
plotting attempts to strangle our case in its cradle by flooding Hawaii
with money and hate.
enlist non-gay allies. What we
Third, do your part personally to
must do, and what our enemies don't want us to do, is continue the
dialogue on marriage, changing the vocabulary with which society talks
about us. Chant my mantra ("there is no marriage without
engagement'') and, wel I, go out and engage non-gay people to support
our f~eedom to marry. Allies like NOW, the ACLU, PFLAG, and
religious voices in several mainstream denominations have signed the
Marriage Resolution and have joined us in the struggle. Now it is up to
each one of us, gay or non-gay, to go and ask others, group by group,
person by person. Don't just read this ... please go and do it!
1996 was the year we fully began the national conversation
on gay families and our freedom to marry; now, 1997 must be the
year that we clinch the deal with the persuadable non-gay public,
the "movable middle" not yet with us, but reachable.
Hawaii's state motto is "The life of the land is perpetuated by
righteousness." Here, throughout our land, all people have the
chance to be righteous. In Hawaii and the other 49 states, let's beat
back backlash '97 and fight onward to full victory.

-2 2-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Network. Additionally, PlanetOut provides news to Yahoo! and is
available from Netscape's Destinations page.
PlanetOut, founded in
August 1995, develops and
operates a worldwide, online
community of gay, lesbian, bi
and trans people and their
families and friends.
Based in San Francisco,
California,
in
the
US,
PlanetOut has 20 staff and
over 100 volunteers in 10
countries. PlanetOut is visited
by over 300,000 unique
people per month.
PlanetOut has won three
NetGuide magazine awards,
Best Independent Content
Provider from the Microsoft Network, and has received
nominations for a Webby Award, an AOL People's Choice award
and a GLAAD media award.

OUT MAGAZINE AND PLANETOUT AGREE
TO PROVIDE HOME FOR FORMER OUT.COM
MEMBERS
NEW YORK/SAN FRANCISCO-Out Magazine, America's
best-selling gay and lesbian magazine, and PlanetOut, the number
one gay and lesbian online service agreed to work together to
provide a home for the members of Out's website, which closed
lin March.
Under the agreement, Out Magazine will license the Out.com
address to point Out.com members to PlanetOut. Additionally,
Out Magazine and PlanetOut online service will co-market each
other's brands.
"Out is delighted to begin a relationship with PlanetOut to
provide a home for our Out.com members. As we focus on being
the largest and most successful gay and lesbian magazine, we are
confident that PlanetOut's
online community will offer
our Out.com customers the
services and information they
need," said Henry Scott, Out
Pub I ish i ng president.
"We have great respect
for Out Magazine's people,
editorial, and the way they
blazed the path for other gay
and lesbian businesses. We
look forward to serving
Out.com customers," said
Tom Rielly, President and
CEO of PlanetOut.
immediately,
Effective
www.out.com will point to www.planetout.com, where visitors
will see a "welcome, Out.com members" logo on PlanetOut's
home page. Out Magazine closed their site last week to focus on
their magazine. PlanetOut will respond to Out.com customer
inquiries.
Out Magazine will run advertising for PlanetOut, and
PlanetOut's advertising Out magazine and hosting a Out.com
subscription site. The first ad will appear in March on PlanetOut,
and with the May issue of Out Magazine, available the first week
in April.
To subscribe to Out Magazine, please call 1-800-792- 2760.
For a PlanetOut starter kit, call 1-800-719-6611.
Out Publishing, Inc., based in New York City, has 25 employees.
Founded in 1992, Out Magazine's circulation is 120,000 people per
issue.
Out is America's best-selling gay and lesbian publication. With
the latest and most authoritative coverage of news, culture, health,
fashion, and entertainment, it is the leading source of information
for the gay community.
PlanetOut is available at www.planetout.com on the World
Wide Web, at Keyword: PlanetOut on America Online, and at
Community Forums: Lesbian & Gay Forum, on the Microsoft
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

BEN MADDY: A BOARD MEMBER BIO
Joseph Kau-Be-Naw

Benjamin Maddy has been my friend for years, and a few days
ago he asked me to write a biography on him, so here it is. Ben
grew up in the Traverse City area and graduated from high school
at the Interlachen Arts Academy as a Theatre Major. After
graduation he moved to Chicago. He worked as a manager at a
local Italian restaurant, he also co-founded the group Generation
Q. He moved back to the TC area last December and soon
afterwords was elected to the Friends North board, he is currently
working on putting together the Gay-la Prom, and of course there
will be other projects in the future.
None of these things though really tell you who Ben is. He is fun
to be around, ecclectic, fascinating, interesting, thought provoking,
and exasperating (sometimes). He reminds me of that silly pink rabbit
in those awful commercials, you can't seem to stop him, he keeps on
going. And I hope Ben keeps on going, and influencing others by his
emple, to take pride in themselves and our community. I am glad that
I have been given a chance to get to know him.

1997 ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY PROGRAM
PICKUP DATES
Wednesday July 16, 1997
Wednesday September 24, 1997
Please help Friends North clean their mile of highway
on M-72 in Williamsburg.
Meet at 5:30 pm at the theaters in Acme.
For info call Alec 275-2294

-2 3-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

DYKE SPARKS CONTROVERSY

CHRYSLER AND LESBIANS/GAYS
by Ron G. Woods
and The Campaign For Equal Rights At Chrysler

CHRYSLER HAS:
• Dropped corporate sponsorship of Ellen for her coming
out show ..
• Allowed severe harassment of gay/lesbian/bi/trans
employees in facilities.
• Reportedly threatened to pull all advertising from
Esquire Magazine if they published an excerpt by gay
author David Leavitt because of gay content, which led
to the resignation of the literary editor of Esquire
Magazine in protest. (Source: GLAAD).
• Refused the demand of the Canadian Auto Workers
(CAW) to add domestic partnership benefits to the
contract for gays/lesbians. CAW President Buzz
Hargrove said in the October 23, 1996 issue of the Los
Angeles times that "macho" Chrysler Executives were
not ready for that, even though General Motors of
Canada accepted the demand.

ALEXANDRIA, Va. - For nearly two years, the license plate "2
DYKES" Alice Deighan and her partner chose sparked only minor
problems. They had obscenities shouted at them once and Ms.
Deighan received a hate letter at work.
More recently, the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles
canceled the plate after a motorist complained. The women, who
are lesbians, received a form letter saying, "this license plate was
issued to you in error because it can be interpreted in a way which
would make it obscene, profane or vulgar."
Ms. Deighan, 34, and Scout, her 31-year-old partner who
changed her legal name to the single word, disagree.
"What they are objecting to is us proclaiming that we are
lesbians," Scout said Monday.
The two women said they are considering a court challenge. In
the meantime, they have applied for a different plate: "LESBIAN."

POEM3.KIM
Your hands were like butterfly wings,
setting me free.
Your touch was a special gift,
given only to me.
Your arms were my safety net,
catching my fall.
You protected me,
little one and all.

• Refused United Auto Workers (UAW) contract demand
to add "sexual orientation" to the existing nondiscrimination policy.
• Failed to post their new "Standards of Conduct" in
faci I ities
• Not yet given official status to the glbt employee group

Now you have the wings
bestowed to only a few.
Floating above my head
is how I see you.
Keeping watch over
me in my need.
Safely, surely
completing your deed.

• Not yet announced their promised diversity training
program
• Provides sexual harassment training to new hires only,
even though contract says training is for everyone

{Ron G. Woods can be reached at MichRook@aol.com
/810-545-7699)

Michele Mashburn

FRIENDS NORTH, INC., P.O. Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49685-0562

YES, I want to be a supporting member of the Friends North Organization
D Single: $15.00
D Couple: $25.00 (includes one-year newsletter subscription)
I am enclosing an additional:
D 10.00
D 20.00
D 40.00
and I would like to see this used for:
D Newsletter
□ Where needed D Education Fund
Optional First Class Mailing $8.00
Total Enclosed

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DI am New to the mailing list. DI am already on mailing list. D Note my new address.
D Please remove me from your mailing list.
The F/N mailing list is confidential and our mailings come in an unmarked envelope.

NETWORKING 45°NORTH

-24-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

STRAIGHTS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!

9. "You've never had a good experience w/1. a man 2.
a
woman." a zebra. that's about how pertinent that question is.

Chris Convissor
Okay. That's a generalization, but we can agree some people
have such a narrow scope. For example when four women (two
couples in our world) appeared for tee time last fall, our starter
Huh?
winked knowingly, "Dumped the guys for an afternoon, eh?"
And, of course, we all know straights that we just forget are
straight. They're part of the fold, we're all part of something bigger
and beyond the terms . .. but for those instances when typica I reality
hits I've made a few notations. I bet you've heard plenty others. If you
think of them, jot them down. Send them to me via Friends North. I'd
like to add them to The List:

10. "Why do you feel a need to show your affection in public?"
Oh I don't know, why does Arnold Schwarzenegger hold
Maria Shriver's hand anyway?
11 . "Aren't you afraid of getting AIDS?" Just a teensy bit of denial
here on how fast AIDS is spreading in the hetero society.
12. "It's not in The Bible."
pork, either. Next.

13. "It's not natural." It's natural to me.
14. "Animals don't do it. Then explain spooge dog to me. My male
dog being danced upon by my mother's male dog., like all day.
It's more than a dominance thing.

The List: Straights say the darndest things!
1. "That's okay for you, but I'm not."
outlook.

The totally self-absorbed

2. "I know this gay in Chicago. Maybe you know him ."
And I know everyone of the 300,000 in Atlanta too.

15. "Those relationships never last." Speaks the sexuality with a
50% divorce rate. This the old 'damned if you do, damned if
you don't' routine. They don't want us to have gay marriage
and then accuse us of having short-term relationships. Despite
this, I am privileged to know several couples celebrating, 30,
35, 40 and more years together successfully. No, we're not
encouraged to put our anniversaries in the paper, but we don 't
need the trivial to keep us together.

Yah .

3. This is not so much said . A straight man or woman coming
onto you at social events, despite the fact you've been in a
monogamous relationship for years. If you' re gay obviously
they know they're irresistible to you and everyone knows gay
people screw at the drop of a het.

16. "Do you think there are any other lesbians or gays up here
besides you?" You've never been to Lake Ann, have you?

4. "Why do you recruit?" I've never understood this one. I don 't
recruit. I wouldn 't know what recruiting was if I hadn' t met a
Jehovah 's Witness or a " concerned" heterosexual.

17. "Lesbians hate men." Depends on the man.
18. "What about the Gay Agenda?" What's scheduling brunch
have to do with anything? I think the "Cay agenda " is a
convenient 'hate term' created by bigots. No one's ever asked
me what my agenda is and don't assume you know it either.

5. "Aren't you going to miss having children?" and "What are you
going to do when you're older?" No, unlike many unthinking
heterosexuals I chose not to have children, I didn't just have
them inadvertently. In addition please refer to Rosie or Melissa
Ethridge's life. And one final note: You don 't have children to
hedge against loneliness later in life.

19. "Why do you want special rights?" My special rights are: to get
beat up, fired, Jose my family, lose my living space, be kicked
out of the Church, military, any club I might want to belong to,
I have no hospital visitation right with my significant other, no
coverage under each other's insurance. These are all special
rights reserved only for us. You can have them.

6. The inevitable " But what do you do?" The same thing you do
but one of us doesn't fake the orgasm. (I give all due credit for
this answer to Susan Westenhoeffer.)
7. "How did you know?"

How did you know?

8. "Why can ' t you just change back?"
can't.

Bay

Business
•
Services
Inc.

Yeah and you're not supposed to eat

20. "It's probably just a phase."
yours.

The same reason you

Let me know when you 're out of

21. "You don't look, act, speak like one."

Neither do you.

22. "You' re the first one I've ever met." Look around. You've never
been to the post office, the museum, the grocery, the
mechanic, the builder, and you don ' t have any relatives
whatsoever.

Office: (616) 941-5748

ANDREW L. MITCHELL

Accounting & Tax Service

I do have to end with a personal anecdote. While travelling in a
motorhome for a year and half, CJ and I were able to stay with my
godmother in Fresno for a week. A great time spent with many long
lost relatives. One of her grandchildren came home with a cute story .
"Grandma! I learned a new meaning for gay. It can mean happy!"
Only in California, where they read the story, "The Gay Bunny." Of
course she already knew from her exposure to CJ and me that
being lesbian/gay often means happy too.

810-B South Garfield Ave • Traverse City, Ml 49686
NETWORKING 45°NORTH

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

814-B S. Garfield• Traverse City, MI 49686

services - at least qualitatively - on the hate crime beat. In a twopart feature for "Austin Chronicle" (March 14-20), for example, staff
writer Amy Smith examines both the general problem of hate crime
and a specific anti-gay killing. In her second feature, the article's
headline ("A Gay Man's Search for Sex Ends in His Murder") and
subhead ("Dangerous Liaisons") foreshadow an unfortunate slant one that is common in both the mainstream and alternative press. The
reporter's good intentions give way to a biased emphasis on the
murder victim's "risky" behavior.
Specifically, Smith focuses on "pick-up encounters," in which gay
men have "sex with strangers." She treats "cruising" almost as if it were
a co-factor in hate crime. The suggestion, that such encounters are a
particularly fertile medium for violence, is not backed up by any hard
data - at least not in Smith's article.
Too easily missed in such coverage is that, in regard to any hate
crime, the VICTIM'S behavior is essentially irrelevant. This point is well
made by Guy Trebay, in one of the better columns generated by the
NCAVP survey ("Village Voice," March 18).
Trebay challenges a remark made by Janet Reno, who - in
commenting on the recent rise in hate crime - had said that "federal
hate crime statutes do
not now permit us to prosecute offenses motivated by a victim's sexual
orientation." "It's probably worth noting ... the oddly reflexive bias of
the attorney general's own formulation," Trebay points out. "Can
victims really be said to 'motivate' hate crime? Isn't irrational hatred the
cause of that?"
Perhaps because of such "oddly reflexive" bias, the "riddle" of antigay violence has remained just that. Expounding a measure of evasion
in lieu of prevention, "solutions" for hate crime are continuously vexed
in their reflection of the media's deference to homophobia.
It is far less effective, but apparently more acceptable, to reduce
the risk of hate violence by changing homosexual behaviors (advising
gay men to avoid "pick-up encounters," for example) instead of
changing homophobic beliefs. Absent any diagnosis of homophobia by
the press, hate crimes are treated essentially as symptoms of
homosexuality!
By way of remedy, the mainstream media could expand their
coverage of hate crime, to include a sustained and direct interrogation
of homophobia. Hate crime statistics might be reported with reference
to hate groups. The coverage of annual surveys, in particular, begs for
an examination of homophobes and homophobia- the "who," "what"
AND "why" that link these disparate acts as crimes of hate.
While career homophobes are so often quoted for "balance" in
ANY gay-related story, they are typically left OUT of articles on antigay violence. The omission is ironic. This might be the one story in
which anti-gay spokespersons DO play an integral part-whether they
admit it or not. Comments on the media's current coverage of hate
violence, and suggestions for improvements in the future, should be
sent to: Associated Press, 50 Rockefeller Plaza, 5th Floor, New York,
NY 10020-1666, tel. 212-621-1600, fax 212-621-1500 or 212-6217520, e-mail rgersh@ap.org; United Press International, 1400 I Street
NW, Washington, DC 20005, fax 202-898-8057 or 202-898-8133.
Amy Smith, Assistant Editor for Politics,

Res: 616-275-2502 • Office 616-933-4424

The Triangle Foundation is a member of the NCA VP.

LEARNING TO TELL CRIME
by MED/Alert!

NCAVP 1997 REPORTS NOT WELL COVERED BY MEDIA.
Most of the major news media carried reports of the latest "gay
bashing" survey, conducted by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence
Programs (NCAVP). Indicating a significant rise in violence against gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people, the new survey also
prompted a number of local reports-tracking incidents of hate crime
in several of the 14 cities surveyed by NCAVP.
Despite some improvement, the recent coverage of hate crime is
warped by an old, salacious spin. Again, national and local reporters
skirted the vital connections between hate violence and organized
homophobia. Even individual homophobes are oddly missing from
many news reports, which have tended to dwell more on the VICTIM'S
behavior (and much less on the VICTIMIZER'S).
Victims might not be blamed, outright, any longer- but they are
implicated nevertheless. Typical of this subtle bias of "homophobe
omission" is the NCAVP coverage from United Press International
(March 11 ), which reports that: "Violent crimes against gay
communities caused 867 injuries or deaths nationwide .... " Literally, of
course, violent CRIMINALS (i.e., homophobes) were the immediate
cause. Yet neither the word "homophobe" nor "homophobia" appear
-anywhere-in UPl'sstory.
The UPI report does use the phrases "gaybashing" and
"gaybashers," however. While common parlance among gays, these
terms can prove misleading in the mainstream press.
A style guide developed by the Seattle chapter of the National
Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association advises journalists to avoid the
term "gay bash ." As NLGJA explains: "The choice is complex, because
while the term focuses on assaults on gays and lesbians, its overuse may
also minimalize them. 'Bashing' has become synonymous with light
verbal jabs, such as 'lawyer bashing."'
Even the most war-like violence against homosexuals - like
blowing them up - still evokes vague and narrow assessments of
homophobic hate. In covering the recent bombing of a lesbian club in
Atlanta, for instance, the Associated Press (February 23) reported: "The
mayor met with gay and lesbian activists Sunday and ordered extra
police protection for nightclubs frequented by homosexuals." Again, a
subtle bias emerges. The AP did not report, as it could have, that
homosexual venues required extra protection FROM HOMOPHOBES.
Not surprisingly, the alternative press has edged out the wire

c5uzelle

Garb.ii,

G£iropraclor

Activator Method (low force technique)
and gentle manual adjusting
•

NElWORKING 45°NORTH

Massage Therapy
Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Property of the Center

GAY FOUNDATION SUES STATE REPRESENTATIVE
TRIANGLE FOUNDATION TO CONTEST LIES BY REPUBLICAN
(DETROIT, MICHIGAN/ 28 FEBRUARY 1997) -THE
TRIANGLE FOUNDATION, a Detroit-based gay/lesbian antiviolence organization filed a six-count complaint against STATE
REPRESENTATIVE DEBORAH WHYMAN in Wayne County Circuit
Court (case number 97-706203 NZ) today. The suit alleges several
instances of libel, slander and defamation.
"Lies and intentional misinformation about gays and lesbians
must be challenged whenever they are published," said Jeffrey
Montgomery, President of the Triangle Foundation. "It is especially
important to hold public officials accountable when they engage in
the intentional distortion of facts and truth . They need to be held to a
higher standard of integrity and responsibility."

PROGRESS AT

TEXACO!
by Henry Messer of the Triangle Foundation

After much pressure to improve diversity, the current Annual
Report ofTexaco states:
"We also moved quickly to build on the substantial progress
made in recent years at Texaco in creating a more open and inclusive
workplace. In December, we announced the accelerated
development of our workforce diversity programs and our economic
outreach efforts to minority- and women-owned businesses.
"Our company is pursuing these initiatives for two simple
reasons. First- and most important- because they are the right thing
to do. They reflect the most fundamental value of our company :
respect for the individual. Within Texaco we are totally committed
to this core value, and it is the number-one leadership standard for
our management team. Respect means something else as well: zero
tolerance for discrimination, whether it is motivated by racism, antiSemitism or intolerance of any religion, sexual preference, disability,
gender or age."
Texaco is joining the new corporate standard of workplace
environments for the next millennium. They need to learn that sexual
orientation is not a "preference," but they have certainly made great
progress.
You can congratulate them:
RICHARD F. BRENNER, PRES.
Human Resources Division
TEXACO
2000 WESTCH ESTER A VE
WHITE PLAINS NY 10650
brennrf@texaco.com
and remind them that sexuality is not a "preference."

NETWORKING 45'NORTH

An unusual joint letter was released to the media today [10
March] from the Family Research Council, Concerned Women for
America, American Family Association and Coral Ridge Ministries.
Radical right leader Beverly LaHaye also went on Christian "talk
radio" today to blast American Airlines because "American' s
sponsorship of homosexual 'pride' events constitutes an open
endorsement of promiscuous homosexuality." She and the others
have written CEO Bob Crandall at American to complain that the
airline has "gone beyond mere tolerance" for gays and lesbians. [The
full article appears in today's Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and possibly
picked up by other newspapers around the country.]
American Airlines is a major sponsor to and supporter of groups
like GLAAD, the Human Rights Campaign, the Gay and Lesbian
Victory Fund, AIDS Action Foundation, DIFFA, AmFAR, and scores
of community-based groups representing gays and lesbians. It is also
the first airline to adopt a written non-discrimination policy covering
sexual orientation in its employment practices, and it is well
represented by the leadership of its gay and lesbian employee group,
GLEAM. For these pioneering efforts, and its marketing and sales
outreach to the gay and lesbian traveler, American has become the
next bullseye for hard-hitting, anti-gay corporate attacks.
THE RESULT: American's switchboard and e-mails are being
bombarded now by homophobic and hateful callers who have been
urged by LaHaye and others to demand the company terminate its
gay-friendly policies.
Please write American Airlines and let them know that you
support their work with the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
community.
Contact: Robert L. Crandall, President, American Airlines, P.O.
Box 619612, MD 2400 DFW Airport, TX 75261-9612, phone:
817.967.2000, fax: 817.967.2000,
e-mai I: webmaster@amrcorp.com.
Joining American Airlines in supporting the 1997 GLAAD Media
Awards are these other corporate sponsors:
A&E Network, ABC Television, Absolut, Air France, Alfred Dunhill,
American Express,
AT & T, Capitol Records, Castle Rock
Entertainment, CBS Entertainment, Chase Manhattan Bank,
CompuServe - Pride Media, Donna Karan, Doubleday Books,
Dreamworks SKG, Dutton Books, Eastman Kodak Company, Geffen
Records, GTE, Gucci, Harper Collins, Home Box Office, House of
Seagram, Hyatt Regency, IBM, Ikea, Joe Boxer, Kenneth Cole,
Landmark Theatre Corp., Latham & Watkins, Mediapolis, Inc.,
Mellon Private Asset Management, M~-Goldwyn-Mayer, Miller
Brewing Company, Miramax Films, Mistie Beverages, MTV
Networks, NBC, Inc., Neiman-Marcus, Neutrogena, Pacific Bell,
Paramount Pictures, Penguin, USA, People Weekly Magazine, Philip
Morris Companies, Inc., See's Candies, Showtime Networks, Inc.,
Simon & Schuster, Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, LLP, Sony
Pictures Entertainment, The Gap, The Walt Disney Company,
Ticketmaster, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., Twentieth Century
Fox Television, United Artists, Universal Studios, Vintage Books,
Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Records, Warner Brothers, Wells
Fargo Bank

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

IE

0

u

STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES

IR

cc

IE

LOCAL SPIRITUAL:

Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) . . . .. ...... . 800-347-HATE
Michigan Wellness Networks . .... ..... . .. . .. .... . . . . 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .. .. . . . ... .... .... 800-347-TEEN

STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL I POLITICAL/ MEDIA

Rev. Geraldine Colvin & Rev. David Florence
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City .... ... ... 616-932-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ... . ... . . 616-223-7999

LOCAL COUNSELING:

The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 . .. . . .... 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 50729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . .... ... .. ... . 616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . ... . ..... .... . 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . . . . ... . ..... ......... . .... . . . 810-398-7105
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 . . ....... . ... .... 517-332-3200
e-mail . . .... ... . .. ..... .... . ... .... . .. . . . lahr@macatawa.org
Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... . . . ... . ... . 517-371-5257
Triangle Foundation {Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit 48219 . . ..... . .. ... 313-537-3323
... ... ... . .... .. . ... . ... .. . ....... ... .... Fax: 313-537-3379
email .. .. . .. . . ..... ........... . . .. . .. . ...... trijeffm@aol.com
Between The Lines (newspaper/monthly) . ..... .. .. . . . . . 810-615-7003
33528 Eight Mile, Ste. 185A3, Livonia, Ml 48152 .. . FAX 810-615-7018
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
The Third Coast (magazine/monthly) .. ..... ........... 616-451-4903
1322 Hurd, SE, Grand Rapids 49506 ... ....... .. FAX 616-451-0915
e-mail .. . . .... . .. . ........ ..... . ........ lllrdCoasst@aol.com

NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .... 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 ..... . .. . . ... 212-807-1700
...... . . ... . . . ....... ....... .. . . ... . ..... Fax: 212-807-1806
email . . . .... .......... .... . . . .. .. . ........ glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ..... . . .. . .. .. ... 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . ..... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund .. . ... . 212-809-8585 x 205
120 Wall St., NY, NY 10005 ......... .. ..... ... Fax: 212-890-0055
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 . ....... . . 415-621-067 4
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ... . . .. 202-628-4160
...... ...... . . .... . .. .. . .. . . .... ... . ... .. Fax: 202-347-5323
e-mail . . .. . . . . . ........ . . . ... . . . . .. .... .. . . www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
101214th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-842-7679

-28-

Third Level Crisis Intervention, . . ...... . ........ .. .... 616-922-4800
1022 E. Front St., TC, Ml 49686 .. ... .. . ....... . and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center .. . .. . .... . . ... . .... . . .... 616-941 -1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD .. .. .. ... .. .... ........... .. . 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) .. .. .... ... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ... . ...... ........... . . . ..... . 616-947-0511
David Blisk (Maple City) .. . . . . ... . . ... .. . . ......... . 616-228-5105
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHt ..... ... . .. . . . . ..... . 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD ... .. ... ... . ... ......... .. 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .... . .. .... . ... 616-439-0656
William D. Gould, MA {Gladwin) .. . .... ... . .. ......... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center . . .. . . .. . 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ..... ... . . . .... . .. . . ... 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW .. .... . .. . . . . .. . . .... . . . 906-635-9263
Lois Martindale, Ph.D. , Benzonia . . . . .. ....... ........ 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City ..... . . . .. 929-1315 or 800-686-0749

LOCAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) ..... .. . . . .... .. . .... . 616-946-1804
Common Voices - F/N Rap Group . . . .. ... . .... .... ... Ed - 947-4697
. . .. . ....... .... . ............ ..... ..... . . . . Tom - 275-6127
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location & time ... .. . ... ..... . . . . 616-922-4800
or . . . ........ . ... ... ... .... ........ .. .. . .... .. 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nite Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. . .. .... 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC . . .. John 616-922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City, POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 . Cindy 616-271 -5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network)
PO Box 9, Traverse, Ml 49685 .. . .... . ... . ... .. ... . 616-943-5050
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill ..... .. 616-938-1333

LOCAL HIV/ AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks, GTA, Inc., . . . . . . .... .. . .. 616-947-1110
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 .. . . ....... 1-800-494-1160
Business Office . ....... . . . .. . . .. . .. . . ......... . . 616-933-0279
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks - HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group ..... ... .. 616-947-1110
Thomas Judd Care Center, 1211 W Front St., Traverse City,
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist . .... . . .. . 616-935-8140
David Rushlow, ACSW Social Worker ........ . .. .. .. 616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) ..... . . .. . . . 1-800-248-6777
Community Health Clinic .. . ..... ...... .. ....... . ... . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
Northern Michigan Planned Parenthood ........ . .. . . . . . 616-929-1844
(anonymous counseling & testing)
Grand Traverse County Health Department . .. .. .. ... . . . 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Emmet County Health Department (Petoskey) .. .... .. ... 616-347-6014
Also call the District Health Department in your area



., an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgendered and their friends.

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1997

Equality Through Visibility
THE

1997 GRAND TRAVERSE AREA

PRIDE CELEBRATION
SPONSORED BY
FRIENDS NORTH, AND
THE GRAND TRAVERSE AREA P-FLAG
Children, Parents and Friends Welcome
Saturday, June 28, 1997

The Robb Farm,
corner Horn Rd. & M-204 in Leelanau County
$1 0 donation for food appreciated
(Campers welcome after 3 pm on June 27)

Robb Farm

For info call:
Carol - (616) 275 -7102
or
Jim - (616) 922-9205

Events: Friday, June 27

Campers arrive after 3 pm .
Port-a-Johns available.
Please bring your own everything else,
including trash containers.
Settle in and enjoy hiking and exploring the land.
Saturday, June 28: Pride Celebration

FABULOUS Garage Sale-8 am to 3 pm
Games/activities for everyone strting at 11 :00 am
Activities for young children
Bike tour-11 :00 am to 2 pm
Hike & explore beautiful Robb Farm
Picnic Extraordinaire-3 pm ($10 donation appreciated)
Evening Bonfire and Weenie Roast
Outdoor Movie-approx 9 pm
Sunday, June 29
Departure of campers-by Noon, please
Bring: Blankets, Chairs, Jackets, etc.

Food and soft drinks provided.

WE'VE GROWN!
FRIENDS NORTH OFFICIALLY WELCOMES TRANSGENDERED
by M 'Lynn Hartwell, V.P., and the
Board of Directors of Friends North, Inc.
At the April Friends North, Inc., board meeting, a motion was
presented to the Board of Directors to add the transgendered
community to our organizational mission and community. The
Friends North, Inc., Board unanimously approved this motion.

The types of discrimination transgendered citizens suffer from
are very similar to those suffered by gays and lesbians : public
violence and vilification in employment, in education, by medical
services, by police; they receive inadequate services both public and
private, in custody cases, invisibility of those who pass and strong
labeling of those who don't pass.
Transgendered people are discriminated against by family and
friends; experiencing harassment and/or discrimination in varying

TRANSGENDERED

continued on page 11

Richard Tuxbury

Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N
information.)
FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and
their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. Located in Traverse
City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
and a scholarship fund for financial assistance.
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Grace Episcopal Church at the Corner of Washington &
Boardman the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. Everyone is
welcome to attend.
Brenda Bartz - 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aoLcom
Victor Dinsmore, Secretary - 616-459-5759/itsyrigloo@aoLcom
Jim Groya - 616-946-7313
M'Lynn Hartwell-VP - 616-943-5050/les n more@aol.com
Jim Ingleson - 616-922-0925
Carol Lambertson, Pres. - 616-275-7102/tclambo@gtii.com
Ben Maddy- 616-271-3926/coolj707@aol.com
Julie Parker - 616-276-9330
Sue Schwartz, Treas. - 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aoLcom

FROM THE EDITOR,
I just finished watching the season
finale of "Ellen," and am wonderfully
surprised at the way the writers have
turned the usually flaky and ambiguous
Ellen into a confident, loving, and strongbut-sensitive person. Ellen's weekly
visibility quickly takes the shock away from the word 'lesbian,' and
then more gradually, the warm and lovely character of her brings
acceptance to its viewers. And, soon a neutral acceptance may turn
into something more, like 'promoting' being gay!
Which is why the religious extremists are so upset. As you
probably have already heard, they are attempting to force the
advertisers and sponsors to drop the show, and they're
threatening a boycott of Disney. Ellen, meanwhile, is quickly
growing into a real person with very real ideas, dilemmas,
frustrations and dreams. She has lost a few friends but has gained
integrity and moved us, the gay and lesbian invisibles, into the
spotlight of the moment.
Locally, the visibility increases also. Thanks to the Traverse
City Human Rights Commission, this May, the gay and lesbian
community was asked to participate in a community forum
organized to end discrimination. Appreciation goes to Guy Molnar
who spoke about the situations that gays and lesbians face on a
daily basis here in Traverse City. Interlachen Public Radio also
has featured part of this forum as well as interviewing Guy. Lest
you forget, gays and lesbians comprise the largest single minority
group in the TC area, followed far behind by Native Americans,
Hispanics, African-Americans, and Asians.
The Traverse City Record Eagle also featured local gays and
lesbians on the morning after Ellen's coming out show. Those
who stepped forward to share their lives and their views on being
gay were John Evans, Aimee Wells, Jim lngleson, and Susie Keillor.
This was one of the few times that the Record-Eagle has presented
gay issues without involving a token 'anti-gay' viewpoint. I
consider this a fine step forward, as the rhetoric presented has
been simply too predictable and hateful.
Don't forget the big events this summer, and especially the
Bike Tour. It would be great to see more local people represented,
and remember-all abilities are welcome, as this is not a race-just a
fun couple of days of touring and a way to meet some really neat
people. I hope to see you there!

NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor: Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tux00 l@aol.com
Publishing & Layout: Richard Curtis: 616-929-9605
or e-mail: rlc@traverse.com
Advertising: Ric Nelson: 616-933-7116
Mailing List: John Evans: 922-0746
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $120.00 for
6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call
'advertising' for rates.
SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking 45° North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part of this, and
to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #3, April 15. Issue #4 June 15, Issue #5 August 15.
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes to our address.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies are sent
bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.

HAIR FORCE ONE
801 West Front Street
Traverse Cit1/. MI 49684
For Appointment Call
941-8255

D

Mark Lizenby

printed on recycled paper
NElWORKING 4S°NORTH

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Carol Lambertson

BOARD NOTES:

FROM THE PRESIDENT ...

Carol Lambertson
In an attempt to maintain good communication among the
Friends North Board of Directors, the membership and the readers of
this newsletter, we are adding this section to provide you with a
synopsis of what really happens at our board meetings.
We welcome feedback in the form of phone calls, letters to the
editor and attendance at the board meetings. Please let us know if this
information is helpful to you!

Hopefully most of the snow has melted from
your lawns and driveways, and the early signs of
spring are peeking through in sunny clumps. I'd like
to use the analogy of Spring -- newness, light,
budding, warmth, new growth, etc. -- to discuss my perception of
what's happening with Friends North.
Since being elected to a position on the Board and then assuming
the chair of President, I have seen so much happen within the
organization (mostly "behind the scenes"). As with any organization,
different people have different ideas and various ways of doing things.
It is easy to get caught up in the "politics" and forget the mission.
Friends North is no different in this aspect. The organization
today is not the same as it was over 10 years ago; indeed, nothing is
the same as it was 10 years ago. There are, however, those folks who
would like to remain in that time zone, comfortable and safe from
transition. We are moving toward change, however, with new faces,
new ideas, new ways of doing things -- "new growth" -- if you will
entertain my Spring analogy.
For instance, you will notice our masthead now includes the word
"transgendered." This simple change caused quite a stir. Some people
did not want to include the word on our masthead EVER; some people
were adamant that we put it there OR ELSE. And EVERYBODY had a
different definition for "transgendered " (I wonder how you can defend
or deny something you can't even explain?).
Another sign of change is the process we are undergoing in order
to allow people under the age of 18 to become members and
participate in Friends North events. Again, some folks are not in favor
of doing this, and others think it should have been done years ago.
What results from these conflicts of opinion is strife within the
organization. Board members disagree with one another, general
members disagree with board members; in severe situations tempers
flare and folks leave the organization and/or the board. Unfortunately
the organization as a whole may then suffer from the "one step
forward, two steps backward" dance.
The challenge confronting Friends North is to maintain the
original mission of the organization, yet expand our vision to allow
for new growth and maximize our potential. An even greater
challenge is strategizing how to reach our goals by working with one
another rather than struggling against each other. (I often recall the
words of a speaker at an NGLTF conference who reminded us that
the "moral majority" loves it when we are so busy arguing amongst
ourselves that we effectively promote their agenda!!)
Change can be uncomfortable and difficult. It doesn,t happen
overnight nor without struggles and disappointments. However, like
Spring, change also is inevitable and ultimately for the better.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MARCH BOARD MEETING
INCLUDED THE FOLLOWING:
• A discussion of Friends North participation during Earth Day
with an information table. Decision was made to support the
event with a donation ($25).
• Approval of$45 quarterly to goto "Common Voices", the new
name for the Friends North rap group, to help cover mailings, etc.
• There was considerable discussion regarding recommendations made by our attorney on establishing parental
consent forms, ,a change in the wording on our membership
members
forms, and other suggestions in order to legally allow
under the legal age of 18. The board voted to follow the
recommendations made by our attorney which will eventually
require a change in the by-laws (requires vote by entire
membership at either a special meeting or at the annual
meeting). Essentially, the recommendations allow members
under 18 years of age while protecting members of Friends
North and board members from potential litigation.
• The board again discussed our database (mailing list) and the
current system of maintenance. The Membership Committee
wants to update the database and be able to perform various
analyses. Some board members are concerned regarding
confidentiality. For now, the database will continue to be
maintained by John E. with further discussion at a future meeting.
• A review of stationery samples to choose a new letterhead
style prompted a heated discussion of whether or not to
include the word "transgendered" on
our masthead and
letterhead. It was decided to make to changes in the
letterhead for now and to table the discussion of
transgendered until the ne'fht!"'BOOM-(continued next page)

•

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{616)941-8868

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socializing in beautifu l Leelanau County. Call
Friends North for an information packet.
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1081 S. .J'tir ort 'l(paa'West, 'Traverse City, 9,{J 49686 {CofonialSquare)

-3-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Out,n

• At the April board meeting, a letter of resignation from the
Board was read from Tom Kincaid. Four people had expressed
an interest in serving on the Board and they were invited to
this meeting to speak on behalf of themselves in this regard.
Two persons were able to attend the meeting, and
after
discussion and vote, Jim Groya was elected to sit on the board.
Since Tom had been Vice President, nominations were then
entertained for the position of Vice President. M'Lynn Hartwell
was elected to serve as VP.
• Lengthy discussion of the inclusion of the word
"transgendered" in our masthead was begun. The board voted
to change our masthead to include transgendered.
• Materials from the attorneyregarding specific by-law changes
were provided to each board member to review prior to the
next board meeting regarding the" members under 18" issue.
This item will be discussed again at the next meeting.

+About
A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information

WE'RE MOVING
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is moving to a new
location for Saturday, May 17, 1997. We will be meeting at the
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse and presenting
a Canadian MOVIE, entitled "When Night is Falling." Highly
recommended by lesbians everywhere (or at least from Lake Ann)!
the U.U. Fellowship is located at 6726 Center Road in Traverse City.
To find us at that location, please follow these instructions:
US-31 South or North into Traverse City:
Turn North onto M-37, which is the highway that runs up Old
Mission Peninsula (the peninsula that divides Grand Traverse Bay
into its East and West sections). This intersection is at the corner of
Front St. (US-31) and Garfield St., and is recognizable by Arby's,
Burger King, First of America Bank and Grand Traverse
Ophthalmology Clinic;
As you continue up M-37 (Center Road), remember to keep to the
right. Do not proceed along the road (Peninsula Drive) that is next to
West Grand Traverse Bay:
You will pass a large church/apartment village to your left. That is
not the UU location. Continue up the gentle slope of M-37 and it will
curve again to the north.
Just at the end of this curve is a driveway on your right. This is the
UU Fellowship, and here is where you will find the gathering.
We had to make this temporary move due to a conflict with the
Unity Church, where we usually meet. We will be back at our
original "home" for the June coffeehouse.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse will open its doors at 7
pm. The movie will begin at 7:30 pm. Our suggested donation for
this coffeehouse is $5-$10. This event is not affiliated with the
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship.
June is Busting Out All Over
We invite all Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse attendees to
share in our June Summertime Grill and Musical Surprise. This event
will occur on the evening of Saturday, June 21, 1997 at the Unity
Church on Five Mile Road, from 7 pm until 11 pm.
Please bring your own grill foods (burgers, hot dogs, veggie
kabobs, fish steaks, chicken pieces ... got the idea?) and a dish-topass. Grilling and dinner will be done early in the evening, followed
by a Musical Surprise. You won't want to miss this evening!
Another Announcement
There will be no Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse in July. We
are taking an additional month off, this year. Attendance during the
month is typically very low due to participation in other Summer
activities by all of you.

Financial status at the close of March, 1997 is:
Opening Balance as of 3/1/97 ...... . .
Total Revenue ........ .. . . ... ... .
Total Expenses
................. .
Closing Balance as of 3/31/97 ....... .

$
$
$
$

4590.71
452.00
575.47
4467.24

NEXT BOARD MEETING:
TUESDAY, JUNE 3 - 6:30 PM - GRACE EPISCOPAL CHURCH

Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is held on the third Saturday

of each month except August and December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of$3-5 ($5-$10 ifwe have entertainment).
Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks are available.
For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
About Lesbian Coffeehouse mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

COMMONVOICFS

NOTICE TO THE FN MEMBERSHIP

Ed Richardson
The Friends North Rap Group continues to explode in
attendance each month on the Second Wednesday at 7 :30 pm in the
basement lounge of Grace Episcopal church, 349 Washington St. At
the gathering in January of 1996 (a little over a year ago)-Common
Voices had an attendance of two (myself and Tom Barkley) .
Common Voices has grown from those two seeds to an
attendance total of 21 g/I/6/t folks at the March 1997 gathering.
Common Voices never discriminates against age or sex. It
provides a safe and supportive g/I/6/t atmosphere for anyone who
needs to connect, or stay connected, to our local g/1/6/t community.
Even though topics and videos are often planned, Common Voices
will always have time to listen to problems and frustrations. We want
to be a supportive open door for g/I/6/t's new to this area. We also
want to encourage anyone who has not been to a Common Voices
gathering of late to return. (You are sadly missed and greatly needed!)
Thanks to the work of Tom Barkley, with the support of
Friends North, Common Voices is able to send a monthly
reminder of its gatherings and activities to anyone who attends
regularly. This is another way of saying that Common Voices
cares. No one has to worry about being asked - Common Voices
will invite and welcome you!
Our 4th Wednesday local restaurant outing at 7:00 pm is
growing but we want to be able to compete with the successful
Petoskey Group. Read your monthly Common Voices reminder or
contact myself (Ed - 947-4697) or Tom at 275-6127 for the
restaurant choice of the month (or any questions about Common
Voices.) If anyone is aware of local gay friendly restaurants, please
let us know! (We would prefer to "Nibble" there) .
Our Second Wednesday May discussion will focus on "How
to tear down the wall between gays & lesbians." We desperately
need input from both groups to have a productive, positive talk.
Please come!
In June, we hope to show a video about teaching respect with
fol low-up discussion in honor of gay pride.
As a reminder, Common Voices does not mind being a sounding
board. If you need to talk, you will not only be heard, you will be
listened to! Common Voces is also encouraging anyone that writes
to bring and read their work. We also welcome photography (and a
musical performance would be fantastic!)

Jim lngleson, Board Member
After meeting with our attorney to discuss questions and
concerns that have come before the board. We have begun the
process of responding to the ever growing requests from our
communities youth for support and inclusion through
membership.
Our by-laws at present state that a person must be 18 years
of age to become a member of Friends North.
The board wi II consider two proposed amendments to the bylaws.
The first amendment regarding membership, its purpose is to
allow a minor to join our organization, but only with written
parental consent.
The second amendment allows the board of directors of FN
to expel or suspend any member who has supplied alcohol to a
minor at any FN event.
It is the intent of the Board to place these changes to a vote at
a special board to be called in the nearfuture. The board will then
publish the resolution in the FN newsletter. The resolution must
then receive a majority vote of our membership. A notice of this
meeting will be sent to the whole membership.
Any questions or comments should be addressed to the
board through the post office box or by using phone numbers
found on page two of this newsletter.

Friends North
-Upcoming Events
FRIENDS NORTH PRIDE DAY CELEBRATION
Saturday, June 28

FRIENDS NORTH BIKE TOUR
August 8-10

AUTUMN HIKE
(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

FALL FILM FESTIVAL
(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

GAY HISTORY AND EDUCATION DAY - OCTOBER,

1997

Saturday, October 25, 1997
Park Place Hotel, Traverse City

C For A World
OIJies

THANKSGIVING POTLUCK - NOVEMBER,

502 E. Eighth St.• 616-947-1965

1997

(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

COPIES • PRINTING • SHIPPING • FAX

Anyone wishing to help organize any of the above events, please
call Friends North.

Joann Ewing • Brian Bensett • Richard Curtis
A DIVISION OF LASER PERFECT PLUS, INC.
NElWORKING 45'NORTH

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Contributions
FROM THE COMMUNTIY
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS DARKLY
Alan Williams
Open any magazine, turn on any TV set, and you see it: rippling
pectoral muscles, defined abdominal muscles, bulging biceps. Read
the personals, and you see the descriptions: runner's build,
swimmer's build, medium build (whatever that is). Often there's
another statement in those personals,
too: "no fats." Enter a sexoriented chat room in cyberspace, and often the
first question that
appears, multiple times, is "Stats?" And woe to those
whose stats don't
warrant further conversation.
If there was ever a clearer sign that a lot of men are obsessed with
body image, I've yet to see it. The image dominates advertising in gay
and straight magazines alike. Whole publications are dedicated to the
pursuit of the perfect body, because a large number of gay men seek
that perfection at the cost of anything else (like a decent personality).
Heaven forbid that the image of perfection might have body hair to
mar those pees. Throw in a set of semi-pouty lips and a boyish face,
and for many it's a recipe of guaranteed sex. And the image can be
summed up in one word: "buff."
While it's true that not all men follow this concept of male
attractiveness, there's enough concern over body image that
magazines likeXYand Out have featured articles about this obsession
among gay men. In Out, Michelangelo Signorile questioned the
message that this obsession sends to
young gay men just coming out.
"It's true that there have always been
paradigms in the gay world,"
Signorile wrote, "but it seemed in the past there were more choices,
Today only one
more leeway about what was considered a gay stud.
very precise body type is acceptable--one that few gay men
have or
can achieve." I've talked to gay teens over the Internet, and they
all
see themselves are deviating too far from the icon of the "buffed boy"
to be attractive. For these young men, if they aren't "too fat" to be
attractive, they're "too thin." Theirfears aren't unfounded. In today's
gay world, men often find themselves alone, sexually and
romantically, because they don't have the buffed look. What's worse
is that many of the men I meet simply wouldn't look right trying to
put on the muscles that would make them a hot item in the gay
community.
It isn't just the muscles, however, that make this attractiveness so
difficult to achieve. The muscles have to be smooth as a baby's
bottom. Body hair suggests experience in the sexual world, and
experience suggests a range of potential sexually transmitted diseases,
including AIDS. It's no small wonder that the world of gay porn is
currently dominated by smooth, buff, young men whose semiinnocent looks run counter to the experience they
display throughout
the movie. Even magazines like Out and XY, despite their articles
suggesting the problems of presenting a single body image as
the
ideal, continue to include photo spreads of these buffed young men
in often provocative poses. (One ad in the _Advocate_, for a company
that offers AIDS resources, shows one of these buffed young men
NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

-6-

covered in nothing but a strategically-placed sheet, lying on a bed.)
As with all advertising, the implicit message is that this is the "in"
crowd, and it's a message that leaves many who are just coming out
with the feeling that they are not welcome in the gay community
because they don't have the right looks.
Is this image of exclusivity something the gay community can
counteract? According to Signorile, it is. "We need to empower
people who don't feel attractive," he writes. "I'm not saying that for
vast numbers of people the club and party scene is not fun, is not
great. But those who don't fit in need to see other images. Lots of
people don't see themselves in what they see of gay culture. The
not because it's a
range of what's attractive needs to be expanded,
good thing we should do, but because the range really is broader."
it has
Gay culture needs to remove the "body image blinders" that
placed upon itself, and stop driving people needlessly to gyms to
develop what my boyfriend refers to as "roller-coaster abs."

THE TRANSGENDERED EXPERIENCE
by M'Lynn Hartwell
"Why am I paid less because I am a woman?", "Why does he have
to payforthedinner because he is a man?", "Why can't I make love to
a woman because I am a woman?", "Why can't he make love to a man
because he is a man?" All of these questions are expressing a
dissatisfaction with the class system of gender that exists in our society.
Some people who are deeply dissatisfied with gender roles choose to
"transgress." Lesbians and Gays transgress the ru !es about whom one
should love. Other people choose a "transgendered" solution.
Descriptions from mythology, classical history, the Renaissance
and nineteenth-century history and cultural anthropology, all point
to a long standing and widespread pervasiveness of the transgendered
experience. The creation myths of several religions contain
hermaphroditic ortransgendered creatures. In fact, many traditional
cultures have included shamanistic roles for the transgendered. The
shamans were the healers, the mystics, the channellers of the truth of
their time; they were the tricksters, the jokers, the jesters, poets, priests
and priestesses.
On December 1, 1952, the New York Daily News carried the
banner headline proclaiming, "Ex-GI Becomes Blonde Beauty." For

I

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Transgendered (continued from previous page)
the next few months Christine Jorgensen (formerly known as:
George Jorgensen) became a household topic, as story after story
was published surrounding the year George spent in Sweden
undergoing sexual reassignment becoming Christine. Eventually
interest in the subject dwindled and the front page sensation
diminished and became lost within the inner pages of tabloids. Can
you imagine what it must have felt like in those days for Ms.
Jorgensen? Imagine how she must of yearned for friendship and
support in a world absent of any community to support her even as she was constantly thrust into the public spotlight.
Before 1968, electronic music mostly happened in the
basements of university music departments. In 1969 Walter Carlos
was about as serious and as avant-garde as any musician of the day.
With the encouragement of friends he produced the overnight
musical sensation Switched on Bach (Sony Records). After a long
period of silence from this prolific musician, Walter Carlos officially
came out of the closet as "Wendy" in a trail-blazing May 1979
Playboy Magazine interview. No longer taboo, the topic of
transgenderism began turning up everywhere; from an episode of
"L.A. Law" to " Phil Donahue;" from a public-television
documentary, to a nationwide contest for an Oprah Winfrey lookalike, whose red-faced sponsors later discovered was actually a male.
Yet again our nation's curiosity was piqued during a 1976
summertime media frenzy. Controversy had disrupted the world of
womens professional tenn is. Doctor Richard Raskind, M .D., had
undergone sexual reassignment surgery becoming Renee Richards,
Doctor Richards now sought to play tennis on the professional
women's team. Many women-born-women objected that "Renee"
had an unfair strength advantage over otherfemale players. It seems
significant that Renee Richards was attempting to play a professional
sport. Had she tried to enter many other areas of professional life little
controversy would have been generated and this reminds us that sport
is yet another extremely significant gendering activity.
Leslie Feinberg has spent a lifetime fighting for a world that will
enable us to determine, define, and modify our sex and gender
whenever and however we choose. "We have the right to express our
gender in any way we choose, whether it be feminine or masculine
or any point between," s/he asserts. For example, we can have both
breasts and a penis, or don a dress and a beard, or use the pronoun
's/he.' This kind of gender subversion runs throughout Feinberg's first
book Stone Butch Blues, a novel about a butch lesbian who grows
up in a factory town during the 1950s. The novel won American
Library Association Award for Gay and Lesbian Literature and a
Lambda Literary Award in 1994. S/he also was an invited speaker at
the Stonewall 25 rally in 1994 that drew millions of Queer people
from around the world. In Feinberg's most recent book, Transgender
Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Ru Paul, s/he traces the
interconnectivity of oppressions, Feinberg hopes to evoke the
broadest coalitions possible. Feinberg asserts that we can no longer
afford to use assimiliationist approach to activism.
On October of 1996, Hermaphrodites with Attitude, and The
Transsexual Menace gathered to protest the American Academy of
Pediatricians (AAP) for their continued support of Intersexed Gen ital
Mutilation (IGM). Hermactivists denounced genital mutilation as the

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

moral equivalent of subjecting homosexuals' to electroshock
treatment and prefrontal lobotomy. As one activist, Cheryl Chase said,
"Queer sexuality ... queer gender ... or queer genitals ... medicine
is obsessed with policing, regulating and suppressing difference.
Cutting into an infant's flesh and removing its genitals only to force it
into an acceptable body image has no place in a civilized society; it
is barbarianism there's simply no other word." One
Hermaphrodites with Attitude protester, who had lost all erotic
sensation due to IGM surgery, was informed that her former
pediatrician was inside chairing the panel on "managing intersexed
children." Through her tears, she said, "That [deleted] cut off my
clitoris, put it in formaldehyde, and has it in a jar!"
Today, some45-plus years since becoming front-page news, the
transgendered community is getting a lot of attention, and rightfully
so ... So, what does the word "Transgender" mean? In short,
transgenderism is a term that is widely used today to cover a broader
range of expression, from: "Transsexualism" and "Hermaphroditism,"
where individuals experience a sense of incongruence between their
psychological sex and their anatomic sex and seek to reassign their
physical sex; to "transvestism," where individuals dress in clothes of
the opposite sex often for sexual stimulation; to "cross-dressing," by
both men and women; and "drag," popular with several within the
lesbian and gay community.
Of the 157 transgendered people surveyed by Roberta Perkins in
1994: Forty-nine had been raped and eighteen gang raped. When
asked how many felt they had been discriminated against and by
whom; fifty-nine reported discrimination from gay men, fifty-eight
from their families, fifty-two from straight men, fifty from police, fortythree from lawyers, thirty-two from othertransgendered, twenty-four
from doctors, and twenty from lesbians.
As each of us, regardless of orientation or identity, moves forward
in more clearly understanding the other, we must also always
endeavor to respect our differences. I hope the transgendered
community will understand and respect the feeling shared by many
lesbian and gay individuals that it is important for our community to
continue to support private space for women-born-women, and menborn-men. Some women. (e.g. victims of incest), need to spend a lot
of ti me with other women-born-women. They need women's space
to grow.
Likewise, the transgendered community will need the respect of

Transgendered (continued next page)

Carolyn R. Delo
Sales and Leasing
1331 South Garfield
Traverse City, Michigan 49686
Telephone 616-941-0770
FAX 616-941-8145
1-800-942-4 724

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSGENDERED

(continued from previous page}

the lesbian and gay community in understanding that the
transgendered experience is unique and cannot be fully understood.
Private space in the transgendered community will sometimes be
needed as well. And most importantly, I hope that each and every
one of us will work together to bring about our common goal -that
every member of society, despite race, national origin, religious
belief, sex, sexual orientation, or sexual status (transgender,
hermaphrodite, etc.) may be entitled to be judged and to live in peace
under a government of laws free of prejudice.

RYAN'S LEGACY
by Greg R. Baird
A few years ago, I bought a book called, The Book of Questions,
by Gregory Stock, PH .D . This little book that sells for $4.95 was #1
on the New York Times Best-seller list with over one million in print.
I boughtthis bookoutofa suggestion from a friend. Since then I have
used this during gatherings with friends as a fun and insightful way to
learn about one another. There are 200 different questions with
varying topics. One of the questions that has always stuck in my mind
is, "If you could meet any two people alive or dead, who would it
be?" I would respond by saying two very different people, Ryan
White and Charlie Chaplin .
Both of these people have inspired me in different ways. Ryan's
battle with AIDS and using his voice to inspire others has left an
impact on me along with thousands of other folks. Even though Ryan
has passed away, his legacy has lived on through many other people.
I had the invite by Ryan's Mother, Jeannie White-Ginder to come
and speak at The National Ryan White Conference on HIV/AIDS in
Chicago. I went on February 14- 17, 1997. The conference was for
youth ages 14 - 25, educators, peer educators and health care
providers. There were about 300 youth in attendance.
I was to give two speeches while I was there and facilitate a few
workshops. My presentations were about "Building a Positive
Community" and "Starting a Gay-Straight Alliance" The youth came
from al I over the US and Canada. A majority of the youth that was
there were gay and lesbian. The one thi ng I found unique was that in
most of the sc hools they came from, they are labeled "strange",
"weird", "frea ks" and "different". Atthe conference, maybe for the
first time in thei r lives they coul d all fee l a part of a commu nity, a
sense of togethern ess.
The excha nge of conversat ion
was
incredible.

The conference incl uded workshops led by educators, health
care providers and peers. As you would choose for a college class,
you could go to a particul ar class or workshop that you found of
interest. On the Saturday that I was there and after I gave my speech,
I sat in on a workshop called, "Living it in the Windy City". A group
of gay and lesbian teens shared their stories and their support of a
organization called, Horizons in Chicago. I was moved by a young
Latino youth who told of coming out to his mother when he was 15.
His Mother kicked him out of the house and without having any kind
ofa support system, he went to live on the
streets of Chicago. For two
years, he was a prostitute who was raped and beaten which is a
common part of his survival on the streets . During this time he
became infected with HIV. One night while looking at a local paper
he learned of the Horizon group. He sought out their help and with
their guidance and love, found him a place to live, a job and health
care. He is now doing well and has become a peer educator. I know
there are other youth that are probably in the same kind of situation,
and we shouldn't sit back as a community and let this happen.
I felt so fortunate to have met so many wonderful people while I
was there . One was Neil Willinson from Camp Heartland in New
Jersey. Neil, a 24 year old man, started a camp for children who were
affected or infected with HIV/AIDS . Neil started this camp while still
a college student and now is known as a person in the forefront on
the support for people with AIDS. Camp Heartland is located in New
Jersey and for the month of August, four one week sessions are
offered. The wonderful part of this camp is that it is run totally by
contributions.. The campers attend the camp free of charge. If you are
interested in learning more about this camp and children with HIV/
AIDS, I have a wonderful video called, "Angelie's Secret". I'd be more
than happy to show it to the public if anyone wishes to see it. For
more info on Camp Heartland, call them at 1-800-724-HOPE.
As you can see, Ryan White's legacy has inspired so many. It has
given people hope and encouragement. We need to spi II that out into
our own communities and inspire others, regardless of the cause.
Now more than ever we need to help and support our youth . They
are dealing with so much. So many times as adu lts we forget to listen,
we forget to take time out and lend a helping hand. Our gay, lesbian
and bisexual youth need us as a community and we need them. I'm
very blessed to have been inspired by Jeannie and Ryan White. It has
given me fuel to inspire my community. Find your inspi ration and
bri ng it home.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/ JUNE/ JULY 1997

PROFILE: DAN MILLER & JEFF ERNO
John Evans

Dan Miller and Jeff Erno grew up in communities which were but
twenty miles apart. Jeff's mother went to school with Dan's father.
Their fathers worked in the same factory, but Dan and Jeff never knew
each other until one fateful day in July of 1994, when they met here
in Traverse City.
At the time Dan was
living out in Blair township,
depending on BATA, bicycle,
the kindness of friends, and
even shanks' mare to get to
hisjobintown. ltwastimeto
move. A friend invited him to
consider sharing with him a
large apartment for three on
Eighth Street in which Jeff was
the other roommate. It wasn't
too many months before it
became an apartment for just
two.
Jeff went to public school
in Boyne City until the sixth
grade. After that he went to a
parochial Christian academy
at Burt Lake, a fundamentalist right wing Baptist school, and then
back to public school for the ninth grade. He finished up in a private
school were he was able to work at his own pace. He graduated in
1984.
" It was pretty clear to me where my life was going at a very early
age. I determined that I wanted to go into the ministry, so it was very
logical for me to be in that school system. And then I went on from
there to an even stricter environment. . . they controlled absolutely
everything-what you watched on television (there was only one set
on campus), what movies you went to ... that was Grand Rapids
School of Music and the Bible. It is no longer in existence.
"It was really my coming out process that got me out of that
situation - that really enabled me to start thinking critically ... there
was tremendous guilt for questioning anything - yet how do you
answer that question of What do I believe? What I've been taught

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about Scripture or what I know from inside from my own feelings
and my own personal knowledge? ...
"I happened to have a roommate who was going through the
same thing ... He confided to one of the resident assistants that he was
gay. Hethoughtthatthis person was a friend of his. I didn't have any
idea about him that he was gay or going through the same struggle
and he didn't have any idea about me. The RA went to the
administration and they called him before the board and expelled
him . They held meetings in all of the dormitories, and all the RAs were
instructed to inform everyone in the school that he was being
expelled and why.
"It was at this point that I came out to him - the very first person
that I came out to - we went to lunch together and I told him - the
hardest thing in the world to do. He and I kept in contact for a couple
of years, but the last thing I heard he was in Christian counselling,
still wrapped up in all that ... "
Jeff left that school at the end of the semester, returned home,
worked for a while and then entered North Central Michigan College
at Petoskey. A year later he went to work for Country Star Market and
has been in the grocery business ever since.
At present he is office manager for Northland Foods in Kingsley
Dan graduated from Ellsworth High School in 1986.
"I went to Ann Arbor the day after I graduated. I got married .
Then I went into the Army. I left for basic training in December of
1987 .. . went to Ft. Dix for basic (we all got dicked at Ft. Dix) ... then
on to Ft. Lee, Virginia - Ft. Leisure - for quartermaster training ... then
back to Ft. Dix, and I was in Germany by July of 1988. I got divorced
while I was in the Army."
I recalled that I had watched the Gulf War on TV while I was
living in Marquette in winter of 1991. Dan said he was there in the
desert performing his duties as a supply person concerned with
petroleum, oil and lubricants.
"Yes, the TV war gave new meaning to the expression 'the
rocket's red glare"'
Dan was back here by November 1991. We first met at a
gathering at Friends' Meeting House in the spring of 1992. He was
staying at the Goodwill Inn, his only option (short of the Whiting)
when his Fiero refused to take him to California. But he soon found a
job at Meijer's as cashier and moved into a mobile home in Blair
township.
"That job was more fun than hemorrhoids on a long-haul truck

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

,

is now- there are 10 or 11 parents on the board, and all I do now
is the newsletter."
Dan is a non-parent board member. His principal job is to look
after the library.
Butthere is another focus in their life together and that is taking
care of Jeff's mother and grandmother, who live with them in their
16th street home. This past year they have seen Jeffs mother through
surgery and the necessary after-care.
"It would be difficult enough for a heterosexual couple to have
parents living with them, but Dan was completely supportive."
Our interview continued with some reminiscence of last fall's
Washington trip which they both attended. The accompanying photo
was taken during the candlelight march - a remarkable couple, not
only for their involvement in PFLAG and the gay family, but most
especially for their support of their own family.

driver. The only job I've ever had where I got written up for being
too enthusiastic: 'you're enjoying this job just a little too much' ...
I was still working at Meijer's when I started at the Book
Warehouse - worked both jobs part-time and then the Warehouse
offered me full-time. Then I was managing at the Yogurt House for
a while. So then I quit and had gall bladder surgery."
That was the occasion for me to meet Dan's parents - in the
waiting room on the second floor of Munson.
After recovering from surgery Dan went to work at Stone Soup.
Now he is attending NMC full-time, and working part-time at
Stone Soup. He also works part-time in Dean Robb's office as part of
a course requirement at NMC.
"I'll have an Associates degree in December. I'm planning right
now to go to Ferris, through the University Center. Looking to
secondary education with an English major and a social science
minor."
Dan first came out to his parents by telephone when he was in
Germany. "I just called them collect one night: 'You know what,
Mom, I'm in drug and alcohol treatment and I'm gay.' And Mom
said, 'We knew that', and I said, 'Which one?'
"So it went a little better than I expected but then I was in Europe
and they were here, and they didn't have to deal with anything other
than the knowledge. But then I came back and the problem came out
in different ways ... The argument would never be about my sexuality
- it was about a plethora of other things, but at the heart of it was my
sexuality ... I was expecting them to accept things they weren't ready
to accept... Plus, coming back was a cultural shock, and it still hits
me sometimes ... "
Jeff came out to his family soon after returning from Grand
Rapids. He was met with denial on the part of his mother who seemed
to say 'I don't believe it. I'll choose to ignore that whole side of your
life.'
"I thought that the people I had been the clos~st to would be the
most supportive and yet I think it worked in reverse, because
sometimes it is hard for someone when they have been close to you
to accept some new revelation about you. I think that was what
happened with my sister and my mother - they were really
disappointed because I wasn't the person they thought I was. But I
was. I was just trying to find a way for the Christian Jeff and the Gay
Jeff to coexist., and this brand of Christianity just wouldn't work."
After almost eight years of negative reactions from his mother,
Jeff was able to persuade her to attend a PFLAG meeting.
"Everything that I hoped would happen did. When she walked
in, there were other parents there, and immediately she saw that it
wasn't something that she did wrong. She was carrying all this guilt
around ... she felt responsible for what she perceived as my failure.
But now she has done a 180 degree turn around ... she even has a Tshirt which says 'I love my gay son."'
PFLAG has been a principal focus in Jeff's and Dan's life. Dan
had been attending in the early years but had dropped out. Jeff started
attending in April of 1994.
"The most wonderful thing about moving to Traverse City other
than meeting Dan was getting involved with PF LAG ... It was my hope
to continue to be involved until it grew in parent numbers to where it

WORDS AND MUSIC: WHAT'S NEW IN
BOOKS, MAGAZINES, CD's AND TAPES
by Rick Could
Here are some fun suggestions for warm weather reading and
listening!
Norm at AB CD's has given me the following CD list :
Happy Town, Jill Sobule. Last year, Jill created a sensation by
"kissing a girl" on MTV. The video was a hit and Jill has many more
places to explore (figuratively) on her second disc. It is almost
impossible to keep the first single, "Bitter," from running through your
head after hearing it. Norm, I feel that way about Celine Dion and
my doctor says it's killing me!
In The Mirror, Yanni. Yanni performs his greatest hits. Like? Well,
I don't know, but the guy has sold a gazillion records, has great hair
and has the thrill of seeing Linda Evans without her makeup, okay?!
A must-have for Yanni fans.
Savage Garden, Savage Garden. The cute boyz from Australia
have released their first disc in the USA. It should be a smash hit,
based on the catchy tune "I Want You". Another cut, "Tears of Pearls"
is even better, says Norm. Slightly reminiscent of early Michael
Jackson, when he was only musically "Off the Wall."
Living In A Clip, Ani Di Franco. The non-material girl is back with
a double live set. Ani's fan base keeps growing and growing and
growing, kind of like the Energizer bunny.
Coil, Toad The Wet Sprocket. This CD won't beon the racks until
May 22 but Norm has a copy and it's some ofToad's best work yet,
but don't expect another "Dulcinea." A little harder edged and look
for Toad on tour this summer.
The Saint - Soundtrack, various artists. Well, Val Kilmer may
have sported more campy wigs than Cher in this cheesy but fun flick,
but jump on the cool soundtrack of the season with tech no cuts by
(BOOKLIST

NE1WORKING 4S'NORTH

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continued page 14)

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Property of the CE! 11;er

GAY HISTORY AND EDUCATION DAY
ANNOUNCED
Matt McCormick
Right now, in the midst of mild temps and spring lilacs, the last
thing anyone wants to think about is autumn, and yet that is
precisely what we need you to do!
Friends North is gearing up for its annual Gay History and
Education Day (GHED) which is presently slated for Saturday,
October 25 at the Park Place Hotel in Traverse City. This day-long
event will be informative, educational, entertaining, and enlightening,
and is an important event for each of us to work into our fall plans.
Friends North members Matt McCormick and Guy Molnar are
working together to plan this day and are hoping for a record-setting
attendance. While the GHED does not have a theme per se there
will be a strong focus on and commitment to the younger members
of the gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual community in our region .
The day will begin with registration for those who have not preregistered and move immediately into the first half of small hour-long
seminars on a variety of topics. There will be a break for lunch:
attendants will have the option of remaining at the hotel to dine on
the premises (at a reduced rate) or wander to any of the nearby
downtown restaurants. After lunch the final seminar will be held
along with an address by the keynote speaker, followed with
entertainment.
Several details remain to be defined as of this writing but some
of the proposed topics include: " Positive Activism: Keeping Your
Cool While Making Your Point"; " Gay and Lesbian Youth: What Has
Changed and Where Are We Heading?";" A Crisis of Faith: To Be Gay
and Christian-Are the Two Mutually Exclusive?"; and" Ten Key Legal
Issues Every Gay Person Should Know." as of this writing our
keynote speaker can not yet be announced but do expect to get all
the details in a special mailer planned for early summer.
In addition to the seminars there will be a number of tables
displaying gay-proud items (books, CD's, clothing, etc.) as well as
historical information displays to give us all a better sense of our
accomplishments over the years.
The cost for this one-day event will range from $25-35 dollars
per person. As an added incentive, those participants who register
prior to August 15, 1997 will automatically be entered into a
drawing for some wonderful prizes donated by several (very

generous) gay-friendly business owners and supporters of Friends
North in the northwest Michigan area.
Please join us in October for this very important day-and
encourage a friend to come along. Also, if you know of anyone who
lives outside our region and who may be interested let Matt, Guy,
or any member of the Friends North board know so that registration
information can get out to him/her.
One final note: Matt and Guy are looking for any interested
volunteers who may wish to work in some capacity on the Gay
History and Education Day. Several individuals will be needed the
day of the event to help with registration and some set up but they
also need a few folks to help with other items along the way (poster
distribution, mailings, etc.) If you have a few hours to spare this
summer and would like to help out with this event, please contact
Matt or Guy at 616-935-4819. (Please, no calls after 10p.m.)

TRANSGENDERED

continued from page 1

degrees by most of society. Many in the legal and medical
professions fail to provide appropriate services. Every day a
medical doctor, who is a member of the American Academy of
Pediatricians (AAP) will surgically cut into five intersexed infants,
not for any medical reason, but to make their genitals look
cosmetically "normal." Most of these infants will lose their genital
sensation, some will later commit suicide because the sex selected
by the physician will be the opposite of the gender identity felt by
the individual (lntersexed = a person who has the primary and/
or secondary characteristics of both the male and female sexes) .
Sadly, and perhaps most tragically of all, the transgendered
community has experienced devastating discrimination from the very
people they anticipated the most support from - people within the
lesbian/gay community. We are pleased to say that the board of
Friends North, Inc., has made a serious commitment to remedy this
long-overlooked travesty in our region. It is important for all of us to
stand together in our struggle against injustice, hate and ignorance.
Each of us involved with the Networking 45 Degrees North
Newsletter would welcome your thoughts and assistance as the
Friends North, Inc., organization extends a heartfelt welcome to the
transgendered community- our path is not an end in itself, but a
journey toward wholeness, via the avenue of transcendence.

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-11-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRACY'S STORY
-by his mother (name not available at publication)
"It's a girl!" I was told on that blustery November morning in
1950 when Tracy was born . I held my miraculous new daughter,
my first child, and examined her and saw that she was indeed a
perfect little girl. But I was wrong. Disastrously wrong. Inside
the body of that beautiful girl baby was the personality and
psyche of a boy. It has taken 22 years of tragedy and misery and
hurt for the boy inside Tracy to emerge.
All that I want to say about Tracy's growing up is that it was
rough beyond description. Tracy was a handful - restless,
fretful, too irritable to be cuddled, screaming her rage if she didn't
get her own way instantly. When our second child, Daisy, was
born two years later, the contrast between the two babies was so
sharp that even strangers noticed. Daisy was sunny, cooling,
cheerful - and very early in life terrorized by her older sister.
Sometimes Tracy hurt Daisy accidentally in play; other times she
beat her up deliberately. Even when the girls were 12 and 14, we
had to have a sitter whenever Jim and I went out, to make sure
Tracy would do no harm to her sister.
In spite of her tantrums and sulks, Tracy was bright and alert
and did well in school. She was big-boned, athletic, "a tomboy." She
delighted in heavy work like putting up screens and mowing the lawn .
During the years when the girls were in their teens every meal was a
battle. We hardly ever could sit down together without someone's
leaving the table in tears or fury. Sometimes it was Tracy who
slammed down her napkin, shouting, "Why do you all hate me?"
Oh, we did all the usual things to solve our problem -we talked
to our pediatrician and to the school nurse and later to the guidance
counselor and after that to a psychologist. Jim and I searched our
souls to discover what we'd done wrong. We ransacked our
memories to figure out how we'd mishandled toilet training or shown
rejection or made some other crucial mistake. It was taken for granted
by everyone we consulted that we, the adults, were the ones who
were in error. We had to change in order to bring some degree of
peace and happiness to our troubled family.
But the experts were wrong, for Tracy was the one who had
to change. And it is a measure of the world's ignorance of this
area of human suffering that the poor child had to travel alone to
the brink of disaster before she would find her way.
Her final months in high school were as stormy as any I
remember. The battles continued, but between them, now, Tracy
would retreat into sullen silences and nothing I tried would mollify
her. Then, suddenly, about a week before graduation, her mood
seemed to switch; her anger gave way to calm. One night I went
to her room to kiss her good night and as I learned over her bed
she pulled me down to her and moaned into my ear: "Help me, I
don't want to die." I held her to me and she said it again. "Help
me, Mom, Help me. Part of me wants to live." When I looked into
her eyes I saw such sadness as I had never seen before.
That night I tiptoed into her room every 15 minutes, watching
over her. In the morning neither or us mentioned what had
happened and she went off to school in a reasonably good frame
of mind. But as soon as she was out of the house I phoned the

NElWORKING 45'NORTH

psychologist she'd been seeing. He was greatly alarmed. It was
possible, he told me, that the calm I had noticed in recent weeks
was the result of a decision - a decision to die. When anguish
gives way to quiet, he said, it can be a prelude to suicide.
He promptly took charge of the situation. By evening Tracy
had been signed into a psychiatric hospital. After three weeks,
when it was thought the crisis had passed, she was allowed to
come home again - providing she continued her therapy. She
moved out of our house into a furnished room on the other side
of the city, found a job and practically cut herself off from us.
That was four years ago, when she was 18. Jim and I rarely
saw her for the next year and a half and whenever we did, our
hearts would sink. For Tracy was a changed person . She dressed
and acted tough. She wore rough, mannish clothes - not just
the jeans and heavy shirts that so many young people go in for,
but clunky men's shoes and a woodsman's jacket. Her black,
curly hair was so much shorter than most of the boys' in town
that she had a harsh, butchy look about her. Jim and I used to
exchange glances, but neither of us dared to give words to the
terrible suspicion that was dawning on us; Was Tracy a lesbian?
Was that it? We couldn't bring ourselves to talk about it.
Then came the day, about 18 months after she'd left home,
when Tracy turned up at our house with "something important"
to talk to us about. Tracy, Jim and I sat down in the living room ;
then she dropped her bombshell. " I am gong to have an operation
that will change me into a man," she announced. "I think like a
man; I feel like a man . Now I'm going to look like a man and live
like a man."
She had sent away for further information to the Erickson
Educational Foundation1 in Baton Rouge, La, whose name and
address were listed in the magazine. Booklets and leaflets arrived
as well as an announcement that a Gender Identity Committee had
recently been formed at a hospital in the Midwest city where we live.
Such a committee, composed of a psychiatrist, a psychologist, an
endocrinologist, a urologist, a gynecologist, a plastic surgeon, an
internist and members of other disciplines; as needed, evaluates the
cases of those seeking transsexual treatment.
Transsexual.
That was a new and frightening word for Jim and me. What
did it mean? Tracy explained (and so did the leaflets and
textbooks we read in ensuing weeks) that a transsexual is a
person with the physical makeup of one sex but the psyche of
the other. A transsexual is not the same as a hermaphrodite
because a hermaphrodite has some or all of the physical
characteristics of both sexes. Nor is it the same as a transvestite,
who is one who seeks emotional release by dressing like the
opposite sex. A homosexual is usually accepting of the sex into
which he or she is born, but engages in sexual relations with
members of the same sex.
Tracy had looked like a girl from birth, developed like a girl in
her teens with breasts and normal menstrual cycles. But despite
the outside evidences of femaleness, inside her, struggling to
express itself, was a masculine consciousness - an almost

-12-

TRANSSEXUAL.

Continued Next Page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSSEXUAL

continued from previous page

irresistible drive to be and act like a man. That's what she meant
when she told us she was a transsexual - her psychological
gender was the opposite of her body's.
By the time she told us what was happening, Tracy had
already gone through the grueling physical and psychological
explorations of the Gender Identity Committee. She'd been
interviewed, probed, poked, examined, cross-examined, her
blood and urine taken for analysis, her mind checked out by
batteries of psychological tests, her chromosomes counted, her
hormones assayed, her fantasies analyzed.
Of the 54 candidates who had presented themselves for
treatment by the new Gender Identity Committee, only two were
accepted, and Tracy was one of them. For the past year she had
been receiving injections of testosterone, the male hormone, and
had been living like a man. (It was the testosterone which had
caused the coarsening of her face and body that we had notices.)
That was the committee's basic requisite to further treatment- at
least one year of living the life of the sex to which the patient
wishes to transfer. During that time Tracy was required to be a
man in every phase of daily life, to dress as a man, find work as a
man, join clubs as a man, make new friends as a man.
This is considered an important testing period, to see how the
new gender "fits," and how powerful the desire for sex
reassignment is before the candidate goes on to the further and
irreversible stages. Tracy had taken this initial step without
consulting us, because she feared that if we knew her plans we
would try to stop her. As far as she was concerned, that first step
was a success. Now she needed our help. Before any surgery
could be performed the Gender Identity Committee insisted on the
permission of at least one member of the patient's family. (This is
required of all patients -adults as well as minors - to preclude
later malpractice suits by family members and to make sure that
someone beside the patient is aware of what's taking place.)
Tracy had referred vaguely to surgery. Just what surgery did
she have in mind? She drew a deep breath, knowing how hard it
would be for us to accept what she had to say. Then quietly and
seriously she told us that to complete her gender reassignment,
she would need three stages of surgery- mastectomy to remove
her breasts, hysterectomy to remove her uterus and ovaries, and
phalloplasty to construct a penis.
My mind reeled under the impact of her words. Why would
any young woman want to have herself diminished in such a way
- destroying the deepest and most precious evidence of her
womanliness? I couldn't grasp it. "But mother," Tracy explained
patiently, "I'm not a woman - that's the whole point. I'm a man.
Inside myself I'm a man and as a man it's a horror for me to have
breasts. They're constant reminders that nature made a dreadful
mistake in putting me together. I have to get rid of all the woman
in me, and surgery is the only way."
I tried to study Tracy as if from a great distance, as if she were a
stranger, and I had to admit that, had I really not known her, I would
have assumed that she was a young man. I would have described
this young man as being, on the surface, surprisingly composed,
considering the circumstances, earnestly answering our questions.

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

It was impossible to read anything in Tracy's eyes;theywere, as they
had been since infancy, eyes of indescribable sadness.
Only a slight tremor of her hands and voice betrayed how
much hinged on the outcome of this conversation. Tracy knew
the future could go several ways, depending on our reaction.
At one extreme we could put a stop to the whole thing. We
could storm into the hospital and threaten to sue the doctors. If
that should happen, Tracy left no doubt she would drop out of
sight, find a doctor, perhaps in Mexico or Europe, and go ahead
with the operations. That way, it would all be done furtively, with
greater risk and more trauma, but her father and I would be spared
the notoriety. With or without our permission, the change would
be made eventually - Tracy left no question about that.
On the other hand, if we thought we could come to accept
Tracy as our son, if we could treat her as a man, address her as a
man, learn to think of her as a man, perhaps something could still
be salvaged from the wreckage of our battered family life. A
question surfaced in my mind: How do we tell people? How do
we face our friends? But Tracy was our child, after all, and love
for a child can triumph over bitterness and estrangement. I looked
at my husband and knew that he was thinking the same thing.
There really was no alternative for us but to accept - him.
Him.
In that moment we made a crucial choice that turned our lives
completely around and started us off in an entirely new direction .
Our decision was yes . We would approve; we would cooperate
with the doctors in every way we could; we would stand behind
Tracy in her quest for a new self.
So it began.
We were notified that the committee wanted to learn more
about us in order to learn more about Tracy. We found ourselves
putting our innermost thoughts on reel after reel of tape. We
dredged up recollections about times and emotions we thought
we'd left behind us forever.
And gradually we began to find some answers to our
questions about Tracy and the whole baffling problem of
transsexualism. We learned, first of all, that the very concept is
still controversial, but that increasing numbers of specialists are
now convinced of its validity. We learned, too, that the condition,
while rare, is far commoner than we had dreamed. Dr. Harry
Benjamin, a New York endocrinologist who is one of the pioneers
in this field, has ventured an educated guess that puts the number
of American transsexuals at about 10,000 [it is now believed to
be around 100,000).
In 1966, Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore set up the
first American center for sex transformation. Today, about a
dozen medical institutions, among them, the University of
Michigan, the University of Minnesota, the University of
Washington in Seattle, the University of Virginia, have Gender
Identity Committees.
The experts agree that there is no way yet to point a positive
finger of blame in the creation of a transsexual. Throughout
history, an individual's sex has been established by the
appearance of his body at birth. But that appearance may be
TRANSSEXUAL. continued next page
-13-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

IL A
(Note: All classified announcements as well as personals are run
without charge. Please submit them in writing to the Friends North
address, or call the editor (6 76-271-3042)and leave the advertisement
on the answering machine along with a contact phone number)

NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS:
DOG PARADE, Saturday, August 16, in Northport organized by the
Chamber of Commerce. This year's theme is "Mardi Growl," and
costumes for owners and their dogs are encouraged. For further
information, call Dave at 386-7341. (issue 3)
BIBLE STUDY: You are welcome to come to my home and study "A
Complete Workbook for De-Mystifying the Bible's Position on
Homosexuality" and/or other subjects of interest. This is a Gay and
Lesbian Bible Study that affirms and honors us as Gay and Lesbian
Christians and removes the stigma that has been placed on homosexuality
by many. We will be studying the specific verses in the Bible that are used
against us, and also studying the verses that most encourage growth in
our spiritual lives. DATE: First Sunday of each month, from 4:00-5:30
p.m., beginning June 1st. Please call for directions: Linda Wilson, 616271-4331 (issue 3)
COMMON VOICES, The Friends North Rap Group, publishes a monthly
newsletter, thanks to Tom Barkley. It will remind people who choose to
be on the mailing list of monthly Common Voices meetings, dinners and
other group activities. Mailing list names, numbers and addresses are kept
in confidence. This information will not be given out to any inquirers by
anyone in Common Voices. (issue4)

ON-GOING ANNOUNCEMENTS
VOLLEYBALL!: Anyone interested in playing volleyball at the 1998 Gay
Games in Amsterdam, please call Bill at 616-845-5220. (issue 4)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting monthly on the
first Tuesday of each month, 7 :30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on S. Airport
Rd., T.C. For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Joe. (issue 4)
GAY GAMES IN 1998: Team Great Lakes is organizing for the upcoming
games in Amsterdam, scheduled for August 1-5, 1998. Those interested,
please call Ann Heier at 810-547-4692. Team Great Lakes sent 180
individual athletes and teams to New York City in '94. (Issue 6)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first and
third Tuesday of each month, from 11 :30 am until 1:00 at a local, Traverse
City restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact Friends North. (issue 23
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a
difference! The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To
contribute specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at 2713042 or send a check (in an amount of $100.00 or less) directly to Friends
North. (issue 4)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis Center
volunteers. (Issue 6)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY is
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services are held
on the first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call 347-8916
for details or write POB 873, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0873 (Issue 6)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION. The
group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay victims
of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823. Report
Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 6)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their

NE1WORKING 4S'NORTH

TI IF

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IE

JD)

Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants, DepoProvera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other
methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630. Services
are by appointment only. (issue 6)

HOUSING:
HOUSING WANTED-GM college teacher looking for room or small
apartment in Grand Traverse Area during July and August and possibly
late June. Prefer locations close to Leland. Non-smoker, references. Write
to Tom Grogan, 1044 Hatch St., Cincinnati, OH 45202 or call 513-4216588. (issue 3)

PERSONALS:
GWF-43, Never married. Looking to meet new friends; soon to have new
location-hopefully real soon. Redneck town's not for me after siz years
moving back home from the city. Time to move on and out. Write to:
Vickie Gliech, 17768 S. Tilson Rd., Rudyard, Ml 49780. Relocation upon
finding a new residence and the sale of the current residence. New job
location with Restaurant Mgmnt. as profession . Send name, address and
or phone number and I will respond. (issue 3)

GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends
North Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 p.m. at
Grace Episcopal Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets,
across from the Old Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 5)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of
men and women who get together monthly for informal discussion, often
on a particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of every
month at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30pm. For
information, call Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at 947-4697. (issue 5)
GLSTN, the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Teachers Network, is meeting monthly in
Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more information,
call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also welcome
and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace Episcopal
Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For more
information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others under
the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere that is
comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 922-4800 or 1800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Please see the Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim at 271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 3)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday evenings
from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at 341

14-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Friends North Bike Tour 1997
-~.---------.

-~

-~

-~

Friends North is sponsoring our 6th Annual Bike Tour around Leelanau County. This
event will take place the weekend of August 8, 9, 10, 1997 with biking on Saturday and
Sunday, it's intended for gay and lesbian bicyclists and their friends. Please join us again or
for your first time.
Ours is a camping and biking weekend spent in the heart of the beautiful Sleeping
Bear Dunes National Lakeshore ... with the beach and swimming nearby ... loads of great
restaurants and miles of beautiful scenery for touring; all of which make for a great weekend.
We ride loops from the D. H. Day campground in the Sleeping Bear Dunes National
Lakeshore. This is not a race and there will be a choice of distances and routes from which
you can choose your ride.
Your registration donation to Friends North will include:
• Weekend camping & set-up cost
• Routed Bicycle Tour
• Dinner Saturday evening at the Glen Lake Township Hall
• Friends North '97 Bike Tour T-shirt (Logo bike caps and Sweat shirt will also be
available for purchase)
If you know enough about the tour and would like to sign up now, please fill out the
registration/release form and send it with your $70.00 donation check.
After we receive your registration we will send out directions and the routes in early
July. If you have questions about the tour you may call on of us ... Gretchen Sauvage at
(616) 943-9819, Kirk Mallow at (616) 943-4006, or Jim Ingleson at
(616) 922-0925.

P.S. In case you're wondering ... our good friend Jeff Knebl is advising us, as he has decided
to relax and enjoy the ride for a change ... as always we thank him for all his help and advise.

Friends North
Leelanau County Bike Tour 1997
Registration and Release Form
Please read and fill out this form to register for the tour to be held on August 8-10, 1997. Return the
signed, completed form with your donation check, made out to Friends North for $70.00 to address
listed below. If you feel that limited funds would prohibit you from participating in this event please
check the box below and send a check for $25.00.
Limited funds rate D

Please Print

Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - City, State, Z i p - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Circle Requested Shirt Size M L XL
Emergency contact person (someone not on the tour).
Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Please check here if you intend to stay in a hotel

D

Make check or money order payable to Friends North and send to: FN 97 Bike Tour, Jim Ingleson,
P.O. Box 51 , Traverse City, MI 49685.
In signing below I state that I am 18 years of age* or older and I understand the hazards involved in
riding a bicycle on busy highways. I accept the risks involved as a participant of this bike tour as my
own and would not, nor will any of my heirs, hold Friends North or the organizers of this tour in any
way responsible or liable for any accident, injuries, mishap, trauma, or loss that may occur at any time
during this activity.
Signature _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Date _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

If you would care to receive Networking 45° North, the Friends North Newsletter, for one year, please
check here and include $15.00 extra in your check.

Riders registering after July 10, 1997 are not assured of getting a T-shirt. Cancellations made before
July 1, 1997 will receive a refund of one half the donation. After July 1, 1997 no refunds will be made.
* Please contact the above address to receive an under 18 years of age parental consent form to be
submitted with this registration form.

HIV/ AIDS \1\7."~il Jness Net-w-orks
Fourth Annual ~i;l,~tt!i>q:- Friday, May 30
6:30 p.m. lj~~!Ia; oeu~~l!!il!~ .:•t'ilent Auction
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Every dolla:iv::§;p ,nf':cpunts<aiJ:g:(~j.lJ::§.elp support
HIV/AIDS :• s ~~iCes in No~e,i,irMichigan.

Please

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For more information call Wif:finess Networks at 933-0279

Dear Governor Engler:
H.R. 1602, aka "The HIV Prevention Act of 1997" currently before the House
gives cause for great concern. Many elements of this proposal appear to have the
potential of enhancing the very problem it intends to address. Consider these
points:
Mandatory reporting of individual HIV positive test results to a state public
health officer; mandatory testing of health care workers; and mandatory disclosure
of HIV positive status by health care workers all represent a serious loss of privacy.
The loss of anonymous testing for HIV increases public fear of the health care
industry and the potential of ruined lives may deter many from seeking HIV testing.
Add to that the estimated 425 million dollars annually required to implement this
program, along with the fact that this amendment, if passed, will force changes in
no fewer than 265 individual state laws.
Please join your voice with those of your fellow Governors opposing H.R.1602
and Senate companion #503. Raise the voice of reason even in unreasonable times.

Dear Senator Levin:
H.R. 1602, aka "The HIV Prevention Act of 1997" currently before the House
gives cause for great concern. Many elements of this proposal appear to have the
potential of enhancing the very problem it intends to address. Consider these
points:
Mandatory reporting of individual HIV positive test results to a state public
heal th officer; mandatory testing of health care workers; and mandatory disclosure
of HIV positive status by health care workers all represent a serious loss of privacy.
The loss of anonymous testing for HIV increases public fear of the health care
industry and the potential of ruined lives may deter many from seeking HIV testing.
Add to that the estimated 425 million dollars annually required to implement this
program, along with the fact that this amendment, if passed, will force changes in
no fewer than 265 individual state laws.
Please join your voice with those of your fellow Senators opposing H.R.1602
and Senate companion #503. Raise the voice of reason even in unreasonable times.

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address

Dear Mr. Eaton:
The troubling news of Chrysler Corporation's decision to pull its
advertising from the Ellen Show on ABC has come as a shock to many
individuals. This outward display of intolerance and ignorance is
appalling. Therefore, I am forced to discontinue my support of your
corporation and the products you produce. I'm sorry to learn that
discrimination among human kind is common practice within your
organization and feel sorry for the many people working for you who
will have to continue to hide because of your lack of support.
Diversity is what our country was built on and if we are going to
continue on a road to a peaceful future, tolerance and exceptance must
be supported. Pro-active leaders will help build our future, not the
misinformed.

Dear Mr. Oesterreicher:
The troubling news of J.C. Penney Corporation's decision to pull its
advertising from the Ellen Show on ABC has come as a shock to many
individuals. This outward display of intolerance and ignorance is
appalling. Therefore, I am forced to discontinue my support of your
corporation and the products you produce. I'm sorry to learn that
discrimination among human kind is common practice within your
organization and feel sorry for the many people working for you who
will have to continue to hide because of your lack of support.
Diversity is what our country was built on and if we are going to
continue on a road to a peaceful future, tolerance and exceptance must
be supported. Pro-active leaders will help build our future, not the
misinformed.

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address

Address

-------------------------

-------------------------

-------------------------

Place
Stamp
Here

State Senator
Carl Levin
459 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington D.C. 20510

Place
Stamp
Here

Governor of Michigan
John Engler
· State Capital
P.O. Box 30013
Lansing MI 48909

Place
Stamp
Here

James Oesterreicher, C.E.O.
J.C. Penney Corporation
P.O. Box 10001
Dallas TX 75301

Place
Stamp
Here

Robert J. Eaton, C.E.O.
Chrysler Corporation
1000 Chrysler Drive
Auburn Hills MI 48326-2766

Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month the
Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans Drive,
Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information, please
call 933-0279. (issue 5)
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information please
contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 3)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 3)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and eastern
upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit organization that
has committed itself to helping and supporting the needs of HIV infected
persons. They offer a number of services, including support groups,
education, public awareness, and one-on-one friendship support.
Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena, Gaylord, and Rogers City
areas. If you would be interested in the program, please call 616-5269213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Saturday at 11 :00 am and have been moved to a new location
at Grace Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in
TC. For further info, call John at 922-0746 or Tom at 947-4647. (issue 6)
FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for gay,
lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please contact Jeff
@ 517-354-7702, or write to him at POB 391, Alpena, Ml 49707. (issue 4)

MICHIGAN WOMYNS MUSIC FESTIVAL
Every August since 1976, thousands of womyn from around the
world have returned to Michigan. We give ourselves this one week,
a week where we relax and enjoy the company of womyn during
every part of our day. Waking up each morning, our feet land on the
forest floor, our senses fill with the sights and sounds of a place unlike
any other. We are drawn to be with our community, to enjoy the
brilliant performances, and to stretch our minds through the non-stop
exchange of ideas and experiences. We come to enjoy, embrace, and
sometimes bump up againstthe diversity that is the very fabric ofour
community. Where else can we live with the influence and
interaction of womyn from most major cities, thousands of rural
miles, many cultures, dozens of countries and five generations? For a
week we know the absolute challenge and thrill of sharing body,
mind and spirit in this city of womyn.
Michigan is an experiment in cooperative community living as
much as it is a performing arts festival. Before you arrive, hundreds of
womyn have worked to create the space, build the stages, set up the
large tents that house everything frti,m kitchens to crafts, and organize
the systems and services that give our city its shape. Al I of the town
services are communally run. Everyone who comes to the Festival has
a hand in its operation; each woman attending participates in two
four-hour work shifts during her stay (one shift forweekenders). By
doing this we each learn more about the gathering itself, and we also
have a chance to get to know womyn we might not have otherwise
met. It's more than a cool idea; it's really the way the Festival runs. It

NE1WORKING 45' NORTH

is how we create the Michigan Festival that is home to each of us,
and it's how each of us makes Michigan our own.
The Land is a 650 acre woodland surrounded by the Manistee
National Forest, with beautiful woods and meadows for camping.
Once you've arrived and visited Orientation, a shuttle provides your
ride to the interior, where you can choose from popular camping
areas that are close to most activities, hike into more secluded
campgrounds, or take specific Shuttles directly to Over 50's, DART
or Family camping. Helping hands are available to assist older
womyn and disabled womyn with their camp gear. An RV
campground is located near the entrance (no hook ups, tents or cars
in RV).
Three delicious vegetarian meals are prepared each day at the
Kitchen 6 Tuesday through Sunday. First Aid care at the Womb,
general emotional support at the Oasis, and recovery meetings at
Sober Support are all provided through coordinated peer support.
Snack beverages, Festiewear and general supplies are available at
various Festival concessions.
Child care is available in three different campgrounds. Gaia
Girls' Camp offers daily activities and supervision through the
evening concert hours. Brother Sun Boys' Camp is an overnight camp
with a program of outings, crafts, cookouts, music and sports for boys
aged 4-10. Located in a mix of forest and meadow, the camp offers a
fun, welcoming and secluded area for boys, while preserving
womyn's space in all other Festival areas. Please respect the
requirement that all boys 4 and over, camp in Brother Sun for the
week, and be aware that we hold strictly to the upper age limit of 10.
Sprouts Todd Ier Family Campground provides a day camp and family
campground for moms and all toddlers 1-3 years old. In order to
participate in any of the Child care areas, all children must be preregistered by July 23rd.
Disabled womyn's resources are organized through DART. For
many womyn with specific needs, this area makes participation in a
camping event possible, yet it still may not be easy or comfortable for
some womyn to be in an undeveloped, rustic camping environment.
The DART registration packet describes the event and environment
so that womyn with disabilities can decide whether or not this event
can accommodate their specific needs. DART campground and
services are available by pre-registration only. Sign Language
Interpretation service is available for all concerts, requested
workshops and other activities.
The Community Center hosts many different community
activities and provides networking space for young Womyn, over40's, Jewish Womyn, Deaf and HOH Womyn, and womyn from
other countries.
The Womyn of Colors Tent offers community, celebrations,
workshops and special events. In its many-colored, multi-cultural
atmosphere, it offers a unique opportunity for exploration and
reclamation of our many and varied traditions.
If you're new to the Festival, ask us for a set of Tips for First
Timers, and we'll gladly send them to you to further describe
everything from the arrival process to handy camping tips.
For more information send a SASE to: WWTMC "i Box 22 "i
Walhalla Ml 49458 or call (616) 757-4766.

-15-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

either ambiguous or deceptive. Sexual identity within the
individual is fixed through a complex interaction of body and
mind, involving anatomy, hormones, neurological mechanisms,
and cultural and other environmental factors. The process may
go awry at different points in the course of development.
Apparently hormone imbalance or a viral infection or drugs taken
by the mother may lead to an improper programming of the fetal
brain. Thus the infant could be born looking like one sex, but
"programmed" to behave like the opposite sex.
Another thing that could go wrong is the male-female
imprinting that is made at certain critical times after birth. The brain
of any child must code all gender-role signals as either masculine
or feminine, and allocate either positive or negative values to those
signals." If something malfunctions during codification, the child
may become confused or contradictory in his gender identity.
Another curious fact is that the change from male to female is
sought at least four times more frequently than from female to
male. That was one reason why our local committee accepted
Tracy - they were eager to work with a female transsexual
seeking male identity. In addition, they were impressed with
Tracy's determination and emotional stability despite the
storminess of her growing-up years.
Make no mistake, it is a Herculean endeavor to change one's
sex. I know from living through it with Tracy. But once she
realized she had our support, she moved ahead swiftly. She
continued injections of male hormones she'd been having every
two weeks, and will continue them for the rest of her life. She
already had a job under male identity as a shipping clerk and had
joined several male clubs. And she was saving her money for the
expensive surgery she was determined to undergo.
I've been saying "she" because, of course, Tracy had always
been she to us. But now as I write this account I will change over
to "he," exactly as I had to do in everyday life. The switch in
pronouns has been a problem - it still is. But I've trained myself
to say "he," "him," "my son," "my boy," and to drop the
designation, "the girls," which I had so long used in referring to
Tracy and Daisy.
Daisy was the first person we told, and her calm, poised
acceptance of the news set the tone for the announcement we had
to make to others close to us. I had been petrified at the thought
of telling people, and over and over I rehearsed in my mind the
words I would use. But when I told Daisy, she simply closed her
eyes for an instant and then she said, "Oh, Mother, how he must
have suffered."
Naturally we did not shout our news from the rooftops. To
family members and close friends, we simply said, "Tracy is under
treatment for the correction of a complicated sex problem." Most
people who knew Tracy replied, "I'm glad your child is finding
happiness at last."
The time came for the first step in surgery - the breast
removal. I don't think I could ever be as brave as Tracy was, but
then I never thought of breasts as hateful appendages, as Tracy
did, to be bound down so that they would be less conspicuous.
The surgery was done at a local hospital. Today, the scarring is

NElWORKING 45°NORTH

hardly noticeable. I wish I could communicate Tracy's joy when
he first put on a low-cut boy's shirt- the kind basketball players
wear- and swaggered toward his reflection in the mirror. I guess
pain and suffering hardly count when you're achieving something
as basic as this was to him.
The hysterectomy was a Iittle more comp Iicated because, by th is
tine, Tracy was well established in his masculine role and couldn't
figure out how he could enter the local hospital as a man to have his
uterus removed. After careful consultation with his doctors, he
decided to have this operation performed in a private hospital in
another city. It was done six months ago and while it did not result
in as much visible change as the earlier operation, it had an inner,
symbolic meaning for him that brought enormous happiness.
The final - and most difficult - operation still lies ahead. It
involves a plastic surgery procedure that eliminates the vagina and
creates at least a semblance of male genitalia out of the existing
tissue. There are a number of different techniques now being
used for the construction of a penis, all of them multi-stage
procedures requiring a series of hospital admissions. The cost in
pain and expense is very great and the results not always entirely
Usually a
satisfactory, either in appearance or function.
prosthesis is required to accomplish intercourse, even after the
operation, and there is no way for the transsexual to father
children of his own.
So far, Tracy is determined to go ahead, but is waiting until his
doctors agree on the right operation for him and until he has saved
the necessary money. Lack of medical reimbursement is only one
of the hurdles a transsexual faces. To me, the legal problems have
been among the most upsetting of this whole experience. Many
times my heart pounded when I came home to find an officiallooking letter on the hall table among the day's mail. Since it is illegal
in most states to crossdress (that is, to wear the clothes of the
opposite sex), you can imagine the kind of harassment and even
blackmail that transsexual might be subject to in the early stages
of change. In the future, as people and officials become more
aware of the problem, I hope the legal red tape will be more easily
disentangled. As for what happened to us, I still shudder when I
think how gingerly we all walked the legal tightrope, while Tracy
was having his draft status arranged, driver's license shifted and
birth certificate altered . Finally, however, all was accomplished.
Was it worth it?, you might ask. There isn't a shred of doubt
now in any of our minds. The change in Tracy is a miracle to us.
After years of trying desperately to resign ourselves to an
emotionally disturbed child, Jim and I now find ourselves the
proud parents of a handsome, well-built, deep-voiced young man
who is as completely in tune with himself and his world as any
other young man of his age I've ever met. He is affectionate,
stable, productive and confident about the future. Those oncesad eyes of his are now often alight with laughter and rich depths
of feeling. He has a good job during the day as a salesman in a
men's furnishings store. He attends college at night, and is leaping
ahead in his studies and talking about going to medical school. He
has developed a wonderful camaraderie with the doctors and
psychologists who have worked with him so closely, and his
TRANSSEXUAL. continued next page
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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSSEXUAL.

continued from previous page
SENATOR APPLIES LAW TO GAY STAFFERS

dearest dream is to join them as a colleague. He'll do it, too, for
Tracy now is capable of doing anything he wants.
One thing I used to worry about was his social life: Would he
be able to attract girls and form satisfactory relationships with
them? The doctors had assured me that many transsexuals marry
and raise children they have obtained through former marriages
of their mates, artificial insemination or adoption . And Tracy, to
our astonishment, has had great success with girls. When he
meets a young woman and likes her, he tells her candidly of his
sexual limitations. Many of them breathe a sigh of relief and
exclaim, "Thank heaven, no wrestling matches," and they go on
to warm, deep friendships .
One reason why I have told Tracy's story is to move forward
just a bit the public's understanding of the suffering that results
when the psyche of one sex is trapped in the body of the other.
But I have another reason for laying bare all the misery and anger,
the frustrations and fears that Jim and I and Tracy and Daisy have
lived through. It is to pay tribute to the remarkable men and
women who have helped· us find our way out of the darkness.
Their selflessness, courage and compassion have shown me there
is no limit to what human beings, at their best, can accomplish .

Sen. Robert Torricelli, D-N.J., has extended benefits of the
family-leave law to gay members of his staff. A gay-rights group
said other lawmakers have done it informally, but that the
freshman senator is the first to write it into his office policy.
It means that a gay staffer could get unpaid leave to care for a
companion in a medical emergency. The 1993 Family and Medical
Leave Act requires companies with 50 or more employees to offer
12 weeks of unpaid leave within a 12-month period for family
emergencies.

CHICAGO APPROVES BENEFITS FOR GAY
PARTNERS
Despite noisy protests by anti-abortion demonstrators and
church groups, the Chicago City Council approved extending
health benefits to the gay partners of homosexual city employees
in March.
The 33-18 vote in favor of the measure followed more than
90 minutes of emotional debate on the controversial gay rights
issue. Family-Pac, a pro-family organization, called the vote "an
embarrassing disgrace which will greatly damage the city of
Chicago financially.
Under the measure, live-in partners of gay city workers will
be able to receive the same benefits as spouses of married city
employees. Opponents of the domestic partnership ordinance
contend it subsidizes homosexual unions.

NEWS BRIEFS
compiled by Richard Tuxbury

CLINTON ENDORSES ENDA
President Clinton met with key Senate and House supporters
of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act on April 24th in what
one of the bill's sponsors called Clinton's attempt "to lend his
strong moral support" for the legislation.
In a written statement released after the 35-minute meeting,
Clinton said ENDA "is about the right of each individual in America
to be judged on their merits and abilities and to be allowed to
contribute to society without facing unfair discrimination on
account of sexual orientation."
While most of those attending the Oval Office meeting
Thursday morning met with reporters outside afterward, Clinton
issued his statement through a press release.
Barney Frank, a cosponsor of the bill, said he is optimistic that
the bill has a "good chance" of passing Congress "very soon"
but, he added, "I wouldn't bet the farm on it passing this year."
Joining Frank at the meeting with President Clinton were Vice
President Al Gore and two of the bill's Senate sponsors, Sens.
Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) and Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.).
Also attending the meeting were Elizabeth Birch, executive director
of the Human Rights Campaign; Wade Henderson, executive
director, and Dorothy Height, chairperson, of the Leadership
Conference on Civil Rights; and Rep. Frank's domestic partner,
Herb Moses. The two Republican co-sponsors of the bill, Sen.
James Jeffords (R-Vt.) and Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.), did
not attend the meeting.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

TUCSON EXTENDS BENEFITS
The City Council agreed to extend medical insurance benefits
to gay and lesbian "domestic partners" of city employees but
refused to do the same for unmarried straight couples. The council
voted 6-0 to approve the measure, which is expected to cost
about $27,000.

ESQUIRE'S EDIT
Amid rumors of kowtowing to corporate backers and shying
away from gay sexuality, Esquire recently lost its literary editor of
ten years after the magazine pulled a gay-themed story from its
April issue. David Leavitt's fictional story, "The Term Paper Artist,"
was pulled by Executive Editor Edward Kosner because,
according to the New York Times, the story "was said to contain
explicit homoerotic scenes and vulgar anatomical references."
Kosner is quoted as saying, "All magazines have at least three
constituencies: the readers, the advertisers and the staff. I just
thought this story was going to offend many, many people.
Advertisers were the least of it."
Not so, according to Esquire's ex-literary editor Will Blythe,
who resigned in protest after he said the story was pulled for fear
that CHRYSLER, a major advertiser in Esquire, would be offended
by the work. Additionally, Leavitt's literary agent, Andrew Wylie
charges that CHRYSLER, actually ordered the story pulled.
CHRYSLER has denied any involvement, and Kosner has denied
the story was killed because of complaints-real or perceived-by the
auto maker.

-1 7-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

BOOKIJST

HIV PREVENTION PROGRAM FOR OUR

Orbital, Underworld and the Chemical Brothers. Other tracks
included: David Bowie, Duran Duran, Daft Punk, Everything but
the Girl, Sneaker Pimps and Duncan Sheik.
Duncan Sheik, Duncan Sheik. This has been AB CD's best
selling CD since June of 1996. ABCDs has sold more copies than
anywhere in the nation, so says Atlantic Records. A must have
for anyone who enjoys finely crafted and performed pop music.
"Barely Breathing" is the first single. 800+ copies sold so far.

COMMUNITY
Mary Merwin
The Region 7 Community Planning Group (for HIV prevention)
has received funding for a model HIV prevention program for gay
men in our region (the northern 20-some counties in the lower
peninsula). The Group contracted with me to implement the
program region-wide, although we are starting in the Grand
Traverse area.
This model was evaluated in several midsize cities in the
Midwest (one of the few that has been looked at outside major
metropolitan areas, and the closest we can come to research with
rural populations). It was demonstrated to have a significant
reduction in risk behaviors for HIV transmission.
The project is community-based and the effects occur through
changes in perceived community norms-that is, the general norm
of our community becomes one of safer sex practices. This is
accomplished through helping community leaders increase their
skills in talking about, promoting, practicing, and supporting
behavior changes that reduce risk for HIV transmission. You will
be hearing more about this as time goes on.
The project is long term since norms don 't change overnight.
Think about how long norms regarding cigarette smoking have been
changing. However, within a year, we should have measurable
reductions in risky behaviors.
This brings me to the Gay/Bi Men's Health Survey inserted in
this issue of the newsletter. It is very important for us to gain an
accurate measure of the level of risky behaviors in our community
now in order to see whether this program is effective in reducing
risks. If you are a gay or bisexual man in Leelanau, Benzie, Grand
Traverse, Wexford, Antrim or Kalkaska county, or if you visit the
area frequently, please complete the survey and mail it back to me. If
you also wish to be entered in a drawing for prizes, complete the
name and address portion, tear it off, and mail it separately to me
(9601 N. Carlson Rd., Northport, Ml 49670) .
Thanks for helping reduce the spread of HIV in our community.

MY EXPEDITION
I want to taste
the waters of your spring
and forge through your forests
to run in your meadows
and feel safe in your valleys
I want to discover
your nether regions
to grasp and cling
and then find my way
up to your summit
I want to explore
the caves of your soul
and dream under stars
that shed Iight
on your love
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

M'Lynn Hartwell

continued from page 10

At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us these book suggestions :
After Midnight-AIDS in Hollywood: The Life and Death of my
Husband Brad Davis, by Susan Davis, $24.00. The title says it all, and
the wife tells it all.
Icebreaker: The Autobiography of Rudy Galindo, $23 .00. The
inspiring true story of the world's first openly gay figure skater- -world
bronze medalist Rudy Galindo, in his own words.
Arkansas: Three Novellas, by David Leavitt, $23 .00. Leavitt's first
fiction in a while, the excerpt in Esquire has apparently created a stir.
You know, that guy-guy stuff. As opposed long articles about
intellectual stimulation and Sharon Stone's breasts.
Life Outside: The Signorile Report On Cay Men: Sex, Love,
Family, and the Passages of Life, by Michelangelo Signorile, $2 5.00.
The Out magazine columnist investigates!
At Borders, Aimee suggested the following books:
Switch Hitters, edited by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel,
$12.95 . Lesbians write gay male erotica, gay men write lesbian
erotica ... steamy stuff!
Boy Culture, by Matthew Rettenmund, $10.95. Smart, funny,
erotic, insightful. The book, that is.
Neccessary Hunger, by Nina
Revoyr, $20.70. No, this isn't Shelley
Winters latest autobiography! It is a
lyrical account of two girls, basketball
and unrequited love. I'm assuming it's
not the basketball that's being longed for.
City of Friends, by Simon LeVay &
Elisabeth Nonas, $17 .50. Studies the
institution and communities that make
up the most culturally and ethnically
diverse minority in America today.
That would be ... us!
Borders Gay/Lesbian Literature & Studies Book Group is
discussing Man of the House by Stephen McCauley in May. The
group has had great discussions. Aimee says lots of cool people
are showing up. Come on over and help pick the book for June!
Comics North! of Cheboygan wi 11 soon be relocated at 211 N.
Main Street. In the midst of moving, David Elyea gave us these
suggestions:
Dagger of Blood by John Blackburn, $2 .95. The first part of a
three-issue mini-series featuring the adventures of Coley, a 19-yearold voodoo sex god. Voodoo, huh?
Cay Comics #24, the latest issue of the long-running and awardwinning anthology series, which features a crossover by characters
from the popular image comics and MTV series, "The Maxx. "

-18-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

JEANETTE WINTERSON
a book review
submitted by M'Lynn Hartwell

Jeanette Winterson is on top of the world, or at least close to it.
She is on the top floor of a hotel as high as the nearby United Nations,
a fitting place for an upstart who once named herself the world's
greatest living writer.
"I trust art completely, and if art's a high wire strung from the
Chrysler Building to the Empire State Building, I will walk it, and
believe that I will notfal I," the ever-confident British author says in
support of her new novel, "Gut Symmetries."
"I love to see the young kids, under twenty, coming and saying,
"This book means so much to me." "This book changed my life."
"This book set me on track." ... And what they want is something
genuine. In a way, as people get older, they start to cut themselves off
from genuine experiences and they lose that sense of risk, that sense
of openness."
The 37-year-old Winterson will let you know such a fate is not
about to happen to her. "There's nothing dull in the world to me,"
she declares, and few have found anything dull about Jeanette
Winterson, a woman with a rock star's private life and a public
literary vision.
In the grand tradition of Oscar Wilde and Lord Byron, not to
mention Mick Jagger and Johnny Rotten (whose punk hairdo
Winterson's resembles), Winterson is both an artist and gossip item
in Britain, a legend both of her's and the media's making.
As an artist, she has attempted nothing less than to take some
3,000 years of Western civilization, from the Bible to quantum
physics, and say what has never been said before. One novel features
a character named Dog-Woman living in 17th-century London. In
another, Napoleon's cook falls in love with a Venetian boatman's
webfooted daughter.
As a public figure, Winterson is known at a level rare among
young American fiction writers. Then again, picture Susan Minot
claiming she once worked as a lesbian prostitute (in exchange for
quality cookware, no less), or Amy Tan having an affair with the wife
of Richard Ford, as Winterson did with the wife of British author Julian
Barnes.
"In every century the people who actually do the work are
passionate about the work. It's always the case that they tend to live
at a level of intensity and energy which perhaps seems unusual," said
Winterson, whose novels include "Written on the Body," "The
Passion" and "Sexing the Cherry."
Winterson's childhood, a story and a half in itself, is the basis for
her acclaimed debut novel "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit,"
published when she was in her mid-20s.
"I cannot recall a time when I did not know that I was special,"
she wrote. Born in 1959, the adoptive daughter of a Pentecostal
Evangelist couple, Wi nterson was a preacher by age twelve and by
age sixteen had been expelled from church for having an affair with
an older woman. When "Oranges" came out, her adoptive mother,
now dead, decided she was a child of the devil.

"It was a place where the Lord and the Bible were paramount,
where my mother quite rightly thought that books would lead you
astray. They do lead you astray. She was an intelligent woman; she
knew," Winterson said.
More of the Winterson legend: She was a makeup assistant at a
funeral home; she was a domestic in an insane asylum; she once
showed up at the door, in the middle of the night, of a journalist who
criticized her in print; she employs her own personal astrologer.
For those who can't be bothered to sort through it all, there are
her books. They offer as reliable a record as you wi II ever get of the
author, or at least of Winterson's mind, where, she argues, her most
daring adventures have really taken place.
"I never did feel bound by space or time," she said. "I used to
have a dream I was floating in space, and the space was composed of
past and present and future. And there were doorways from which I
could enter and exit at will."
There are plots in Winterson's novels, but a plain old narrative
tale would be duller for her than a Sunday sermon. She is essentially
a novelist of ideas: ideas about art, about sex, about history, about
science, about almost everything.
"Gut Symmetries;" her sixth novel, covers such favored
Winterson territory as triangles, both romantic and mathematical; the
mystery of identity; the personality of cities and the differing theories
of Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton.
As with nearly all of her fiction, "Gut Symmetries" is a story of
travel, in the mind and in the real world. In a typical Winterson touch,
one of the three main characters is a scientist named Jove who
lectures on "Time Travel." His lectures are given aboard the QE2,
which sails from England to New York to Los Angeles via the Panama
Canal.
"It's quite funny, because I never go anywhere. There are weeks
and weeks when I don't even step off my own land. I've got a few
acres, and I'm quite happy to stay there," said Winterson, who lives
outside of London with her partner, Peggy Reynolds.
11
And I'm not one of these people who go off to India and
Australia and China and see the world. I like to go to Europe on the
train because I'm a terrible old jaded European, because that's where
I belong, in an old continent.
11
And the trouble is my partner, who is a great traveler, often tries
to entice me by telling me stories about where we'll go, because she's
been nearly everywhere in the world. Then I start telling her stories,
because I've been there in my head."
Excerpts from "Gut Symmetries," a novel by Jeanette Winterson,
published by Alfred A. Knopf.
"It began on a boat, like "The Tempest," like "Moby Dick," a
finite enclosure of floating space, a model of the world in little. Here
is a vas hermeticum, a sealed capsule on a rough sea. This is the
alchemic vessel, resistant to change, constantly being transformed.
This is us, vulnerable, insulated, entirely self-contained yet altogether
at the mercy of the elements. The Ship of Fools is sailing tonight and
all of us are aboard."
"It was night, about a quarter to twelve, the sky divided in halves,
one cloudy, the other fair. The stars were deep recessed, not lying on
the surface of the night but hammered into it. The water, where the
JEANETTE WINTERSON

NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

-1 9-

continued next page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

country. HRC has been one of the Gill Foundation's prime
beneficiaries, and Gill himself has also become an active, treasured
member of HRC. He says Amendment 2 sparked his greater
involvement in HRC as well.
"I try to set myself up as a role model and be out as much as
possible because it shows people you can be out and be successful,"
he told HRC Quarterly. "For so many years, we've been programmed
to think that if you're out, you're going to be held back and
repressed. And that isn't necessarily true anymore."
Gill's foundation has become a leader in the nascent lesbian and
gay philanthropy movement, along with such people as music mogul
David Geffen and foundations like the Joyce Mertz-Gilmore
Foundation and the lesbian-oriented Astraea Foundation . In 1995,
the Gill Foundation gave away $1.1 miliion, 67 percent of which went
to gay and lesbian organizations, including Digital Queers, the Gay
and Lesbian Victory Foundation and HRC's foundation . In 1996, the
Gill Foundation and related entities contributed some $2 million,
including $100,000 to the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.
The foundation's philosophy is simple: To give money to gay
and lesbian causes because it is so difficult for them to tap other
philanthropic sources. "There are plenty of people who will give
money to Greenpeace .;Ind a lot of other things that I truly believe in."
Gill explained. "But there are other people who will do that, and there
aren't a lot of people who will give money to gay and lesbian causes.
There are very few mainstream foundations that will ."
Gill is working to change that. In 1996, his foundation created a
program called the OutGiving Project, whose mission is to get more
gay people involved in philanthropy. Each year, it brings together
committed philanthropists who are eager to learn how better to use

ship cutted it, was broken and white, but once the ship had
passed the water healed the intrusion and I could not see where
the black of the sky and black of the water changed into each
other. I thought of my often-dream where Time poured the fishes
into the sky and the sky was full of starfish; stella maris of the
upper air."
"Defect of vision. Do I mean affect of vision? At the beginning of
the twentieth century when Picasso, Matisse and Cezanne were
turning their faces towards a new manner of light, there was a theory
spawned by science and tad poled by certain art critics that frogmarched the picture towards the view that this new art was an optical
confusion. Nothing but a defect of vision . The painters were
astigmatic; an abnormality of the retina that unfocuses rays of light.
That was why they could not paint realistically. They could not see
that a cat is a cat is a cat."

TIM GILL:
THE MAKING OF A PHILANTHROPIST
Reprinted from the Human Rights Campaign

Tim Gill was living quietly in
Denver, running Quark Inc., the
software company he founded, when
the voters in Colorado passed
Amendment 2-the most insidiously
anti-gay state ballot initiative ever to
succeed in this country. "There's
always a triggering event in people's
lives and that was a triggering event in
my life," he recalled. "It made me realize
there was a lot more that I cou Id do for
gay and lesbian causes."
Gill, who became a millionaire after founding Quark, pledged to
give away one of his mi lfions to fight the anti-gay bias that led to
Amendment 2's passage, because he says, "You don't fight the law,
you try to change people's attitudes." He created a foundation to
carry out that goal, and now, almost five years later, Gill's foundation
has contributed more than four times his original pledge to lesbian,
gay and AIDS organizations both in Colorado and around the

Char P. Kirchner,

TIM GILL

ftV,

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JUNE

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Full Service Apparel Printing

Team Uniforms..- Buttons ..- Embroidery..- Photo Items

516 E. Eighth St. Traverse City, MI.

616 ... 929 ... 3610

(616) 267-5818
-20-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TIM GILL

continued from previous page

body positive

their generosity to work toward lesbian and gay equality.
"The purpose is not to tell people where to give money but to
give them tools to figure it out themselves," said Katherine Pease,
executive director of the foundation. "A lot of donors out there are
struggling with whether to give and if they do it, how to do it well."
Another element of the project is the Gay and Lesbian OutG ivi ng
Fund, which bundles together and earmarks donations that come
from the gay and lesbian community. "Because we all have things that
we like-whether it's Greenpeace or Ducks Unlimited or the
National Snowboarders Association," Gill says. "Those kinds of
organizations don't really necessarily know that they have a gay
constituency. And if they do, then it will change their minds."
Gill, who has lived in Colorado since the third grade, doesn't
come from a family with a history of philanthropy. "My mother did
some volunteer work but certainly nothing on this scale," he said.
"My parents are very middle class." And, he says, there really hasn't
been a downside to his being an out gay man who also happens to
run one of the most successful software companies in the world.
"We've had a small number of customers who said they wouldn't
buy from us any more, but probably a larger number of customers
who said that they would only buy our products," he said. "I think
America - at least the part of America I'm exposed to, which is hightech America - is certainly moving to this space where your sexual
orientation really is a non-issue, which is the way it should be."
For more information on the Gill Foundation, call 719-473-4455 oremail GillFound@aol.com or OutGiving@aol.com

a commentary byPeter Ian Cummings

GAY-LESBIAN READING GROUP AT
BORDER'S BOOKS
-an update by Aimee Wells

Do you like to read about issues that affect the community,
or maybe just the latest of a juicy gay or lesbian murder mystery?
Or do you like to just hang out and talk to people who do? Well
then, Borders Books & Music is the place for you!
On the last Monday of every month, the Gay & Lesbian Book
Group meets in the relaxed friendly atmosphere of Border's Cafe'
Espresso. So far there have been an average of 8-1 O people of
many different age groups and backgrounds attending, which
makes for a great exchange of ideas.
In June we will be discussing "City of Friends" by Simon
LeVay and Elisabeth Nonas. The book discusses what it means to
be gay or lesbian in America today. It seeks to help us all
understand the institutions and the communities that make up the
most culturally and ethnically diverse minority in America today.
We choose the books two months ahead, so that everyone
can get a chance to read the one that they are interested in, and all
discussion group titles are 20% off at Borders.
So, whether you have read the book or not, please come out
and join the discussion, and help choose what we will be reading
for future meetings.

When I was 14 or 15 I had a dream what gay life would be
like. Of course, I related my dream to my life at the time, and how
much better my life was going
to be once I came out.
Now, my life at 14 was
pretty typical-it consisted
mainly of repressed longing
for jocks. The longing was
named Bob, David, Paul,
Alex and Chris, and in my
dream world I would be
allowed to have one of them.
In my dream, I would be able
to love, touch and hold who
I wanted . In my dream, boys
would give me their love
freely and openly: a gift. Was
this too much to ask?
When I first cam.e out in 1985, gay life was pretty much like my
dream come true . I felt so very much freer than I had as a closet
teenager. I met lots of new people; some times we liked each other
and when we did, we had sex. None of the people I know from that
time thought the sex was meaningless. We made an emotional
connection. Sometimes it led to love. Sometimes it led to us being
really close, and I met most of my closest friends that way.
But something gradually happened, and we gave away our
right to enjoy our sexuality. It would be hard to construct a more
sex-negative bunch of people than young gay men today. Feeling
lonely? Five years ago, there was an easy solution : go out and try
to meet someone. But if you do that today, don't tell your
friends-it's considered cheap. And if you do get off with
someone, better keep it secret. Especially if you get off with too
many people. You'll get a bad reputation.
Hey-does this sound like straight kids in the '50's to you?
And by the way, who are you allowed to have sex with today
anyway? You can't have sex with anyone you know because it
would create a scandal. And you can't have sex with anyone you
don't know because it's cheap.
Some people say this new sexual repression leads to healthier
relationships. I don't think so. I don't think repression ever leads
to healthier relationships. If you said that to gay kids in the '80s
they'd have laughed you out of the room.
When I came out, gay life was great because people had sex,
and when they had sex they did it with celebration, feeling and
high style. So, I dare to ask: why should people out of long-term
relationships, be denied emotional contact with another person? I
think it's fine to reject "uncaring sex" as cheap [if you want to]but I think sex is indeed a question of caring, rather than of prissy
rejection due to community pressure.
This sex-rejection, which leads to sadness and loneliness, is
not a direction I want young gay men to go.
POSITNE

NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

-21-

continued next page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

POSITNE

continued from previous page

Unfortunately many sources are happy to encourage us in
Out Magazine recently
this cycle of repression. For example,
referred to XY as "a dubious achievement" and compared us to
the porn magazine Freshmen.
Obviously Out's position says more about Out-and the
"respectable" [read: sexually conservative] gay establishment who
make up their intended audience-than about XY. They and much of
the gay establishment are only too happy to blast anyone [read: XY]
who presents a freer and more constructive way of expressing our
sexuality.
These so-called leaders have staked their careers on the
increasing "respectability" [read: neutering] of the gay communityit earns them millions of dollars. Never mind if it leads to loneliness.
·you know what? I don't care about being
that kind of
respectable. It was never what I wanted from being gay anyway. You
know what? I think we should express our sexuality all the time and
be open about it. Please everybody: get down! Yet-and this is why
I am so upset-what hit me after reading that thing in Out was,
exactly how far my teenage dream is from "majority" gay thinking, as
represented by the Out article and the sex-negative feeling behind it.
Being gay is not about copying straight people's lifestyles. It is
about blazing a new trail and being true to ourselves in new ways. It
is about beauty, aesthetics, hot sex and love and emotions run wild.
I am tired by this unholy alliance between the gay establishment and
the straight one they are copying, which cannot tell the difference
between the meaningless sexuality represented by
Freshmen and the
integrative one represented by XY.
Gay liberation is the freedom to express our love, part of which
is the freedom to express our sex. We must not be monopolized by
this gay establishment who says you and I are somehow less
respectable because we want to integrate our sexuality with our lives.
If we repress our sexuality in the name of respectability, we become
exactly who straight people want us to be--i .e., straights.
Some people say this "toning down" of gay life is progressive,
that it heralds our acceptance into mainstream society. I call it
repression. These people simply misunderstand what being gay is.
But we can still dream. And I wish they'd shut up and get out of
our way.
Peter Ian Cummings is the editory of XY Magazine
($5.95 at Borders Books

THE LAMBDA UPDATE
HAWAll MARRIAGE BREAKTHROUGH:
ONLY THE BEGINNING
by Evan Wolfson
On December 3, 1996, we won, and won big. Hawaii Circuit
Court Judge Kevin Chang ruled that the government had failed to

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

show a single compelling or even logical reason for denying lesbian
and gay couples the freedom to marry. The historic victory in our
Baehr v. Miike trial marks the first time that a court has declared
that gay love and gay families are entitled to full and complete
equality.
While there is much more we must do now, we should savor
the power of this moment. In the clear, cool, dispassionate light of
a courtroom, a highly respected judge looked at all the arguments
and evidence put forward for sex discrimination in marriage, and
found that none held up. By contrast, and despite the state's
attempts to prove otherwise, the court concluded that all evidence
shows that gay people make good parents; our children are
growing up healthy and well-adjusted; our relationships are as
committed and loving as those of non-gay people; and we share
the same mix of reasons for wanting and needing the freedom to
marry as our non-gay brothers and sisters.
Perhaps most important, Judge Chang observed that ending sex
discrimination in marriage would harm no one, would take nothing
away from non-gay couples or children, and would help same-sex
couples, our children and loved ones, and, indeed, society itself. Far
from being an attack on marriage, Judge Chang concluded, allowing
gay people the freedom to marry would strengthen that institution
and benefit families. So what comes next? This historic decision
stands, while, as predicted, the actual order requiring issuance of
marriage licenses is on hold during the state's appeal. Lambda's cocounsel, Dan Foley of Honolulu, and I now will litigate this case in the
state supreme court. We expect a final decision by early 1998.
Meanwhile, for those who are asking: "what should I be doing to help
in 1997?" there are three critical tasks:
First, help beat back the backlash, by defeating the Christian
Coalition's anti-marriage bills in the state legislatures. Backlash '97
will be fierce and furious; our enemies know how close we are to
transforming our position in society.
Second, help Hawaii. The anti-gay, anti-marriage groups are
plotting attempts to strangle our case in its cradle by flooding Hawaii
with money and hate.
enlist non-gay allies. What we
Third, do your part personally to
must do, and what our enemies don't want us to do, is continue the
dialogue on marriage, changing the vocabulary with which society talks
about us. Chant my mantra ("there is no marriage without
engagement'') and, well, go out and engage non-gay people to support
our f~eedom to marry. Allies like NOW, the ACLU, PFLAG, and
religious voices in several mainstream denominations have signed the
Marriage Resolution and have joined us in the struggle. Now it is up to
each one of us, gay or non-gay, to go and ask others, group by group,
person by person. Don't just read this ... please go and do it!
1996 was the year we fully began the national conversation
on gay families and our freedom to marry; now, 1997 must be the
year that we clinch the deal with the persuadable non-gay public,
the "movable middle" not yet with us, but reachable.
Hawaii's state motto is "The life of the land is perpetuated by
righteousness." Here, throughout our land, all people have the
chance to be righteous. In Hawaii and the other 49 states, let's beat
back backlash '97 and fight onward to full victory.

-22-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

POSITIVE

continued from previous page

Unfortunately many sources are happy to encourage us in
this cycle of repression. For example,
Out Magazine recently
referred to XV as "a dubious achievement" and compared us to
the porn magazine Freshmen.
Obviously Out's position says more about Out-and the
"respectable" [read: sexually conservative] gay establishment who
make up their intended audience-than about XV. They and much of
the gay establishment are only too happy to blast anyone [read: XY]
who presents a freer and more constructive way of expressing our
sexuality.
These so-called leaders have staked their careers on the
increasing "respectability" [read: neutering] of the gay communityit earns them millions of dollars. Never mind if it leads to loneliness.
·vou know what? I don't care about being
that kind of
respectable. It was never what I wanted from being gay anyway. You
know what? I think we should express our sexuality all the time and
be open about it. Please everybody: get down! Yet-and this is why
I am so upset-what hit me after reading that thing in Out was,
exactly how far my teenage dream is from "majority" gay thinking, as
represented by the Out article and the sex-negative feeling behind it.
Being gay is not about copying straight people's lifestyles. It is
about blazing a new trail and being true to ourselves in new ways. It
is about beauty, aesthetics, hot sex and love and emotions run wild .
I am tired by this unholy alliance between the gay establishment and
the straight one they are copying, which cannot tell the difference
between the meaningless sexuality represented by
Freshmen and the
integrative one represented by XV.
Gay liberation is the freedom to express our love, part of which
is the freedom to express our sex. We must not be monopolized by
this gay establishment who says you and I are somehow less
respectable because we want to integrate our sexuality with our Iives.
If we repress our sexuality in the name of respectability, we become
exactly who straight people want us to be--i.e., straights.
Some people say this "toning down" of gay life is progressive,
that it heralds our acceptance into mainstream society. I call it
repression. These people simply misunderstand what being gay is.
But we can still dream. And I wish they'd shut up and get out of
our way.
Peter Ian Cummings is the editory of XY Magazine
($5.95 at Borders Books

THE LAMBDA UPDATE
HAWAll MARRIAGE BREAKTHROUGH:
ONLY THE BEGINNING
by Evan Wolfson
On December 3, 1996, we won, and won big. Hawaii Circuit
Court Judge Kevin Chang ruled that the government had failed to

NfIWORKING 45°NORTH

show a single compelling or even logical reason for denying lesbian
and gay couples the freedom to marry. The historic victory in our
Baehr v. Miike trial marks the first time that a court has declared
that gay love and gay families are entitled to full and complete
equality.
While there is much more we must do now, we should savor
the power of this moment. In the clear, cool, dispassionate light of
a courtroom, a highly respected judge looked at all the arguments
and evidence put forward for sex discrimination in marriage, and
found that none held up. By contrast, and despite the state's
attempts to prove otherwise, the court concluded that all evidence
shows that gay people make good parents; our children are
growing up healthy and well-adjusted; our relationships are as
committed and loving as those of non-gay people; and we share
the same mix of reasons for wanting and needing the freedom to
marry as our non-gay brothers and sisters.
Perhaps most important, Judge Chang observed that ending sex
discrimination in marriage would harm no one, would take nothing
away from non-gay couples or children, and would help same-sex
couples, our children and loved ones, and, indeed, society itself. Far
from being an attack on marriage, Judge Chang concluded, allowing
gay people the freedom to marry would strengthen that institution
and benefit families. So what comes next? This historic decision
stands, while, as predicted, the actual order requiring issuance of
marriage licenses is on hold during the state's appeal. Lambda's cocounsel, Dan Foley of Honolulu, and I now will litigate this case in the
state supreme court. We expect a final decision by early 1998.
Meanwhile, for those who are asking: "what should I be doing to help
in 1997?" there are three critical tasks:
First, help beat back the backlash, by defeating the Christian
Coalition's anti-marriage bills in the state legislatures. Backlash '97
will be fierce and furious; our enemies know how close we are to
transforming our position in society.
Second, help Hawaii. The anti-gay, anti-marriage groups are
plotting attempts to strangle our case in its cradle by flooding Hawaii
with money and hate.
enlist non-gay allies. What we
Third, do your part personally to
must do, and what our enemies don't want us to do, is continue the
dialogue on marriage, changing the vocabulary with which society talks
about us. Chant my mantra ("there is no marriage without
engagement'') and, wel I, go out and engage non-gay people to support
our f~eedom to marry. Allies like NOW, the ACLU, PFLAG, and
religious voices in several mainstream denominations have signed the
Marriage Resolution and have joined us in the struggle. Now it is up to
each one of us, gay or non-gay, to go and ask others, group by group,
person by person. Don't just read this ... please go and do it!
1996 was the year we fully began the national conversation
on gay families and our freedom to marry; now, 1997 must be the
year that we clinch the deal with the persuadable non-gay public,
the "movable middle" not yet with us, but reachable.
Hawaii's state motto is "The life of the land is perpetuated by
righteousness." Here, throughout our land, all people have the
chance to be righteous. In Hawaii and the other 49 states, let's beat
back backlash '97 and fight onward to full victory.

-2 2-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Network. Additionally, PlanetOut provides news to Yahoo! and is
available from Netscape's Destinations page.
PlanetOut, founded in
August 1995, develops and
operates a worldwide, online
community of gay, lesbian, bi
and trans people and their
families and friends.
Based in San Francisco,
California,
in
the
US,
PlanetOut has 20 staff and
over 100 volunteers in 10
countries. PlanetOut is visited
by over 300,000 unique
people per month.
PlanetOut has won three
NetGuide magazine awards,
Best Independent Content
Provider from the Microsoft Network, and has received
nominations for a Webby Award, an AOL People's Choice award
and a GLAAD media award.

OUT MAGAZINE AND PLANETOUT AGREE
TO PROVIDE HOME FOR FORMER OUT.COM
MEMBERS
NEW YORK/SAN FRANCISCO-Out Magazine, America's
best-selling gay and lesbian magazine, and PlanetOut, the number
one gay and lesbian online service agreed to work together to
provide a home for the members of Out's website, which closed
lin March.
Under the agreement, Out Magazine will license the Out.com
address to point Out.com members to PlanetOut. Additionally,
Out Magazine and PlanetOut online service will co-market each
other's brands.
"Out is delighted to begin a relationship with PlanetOut to
provide a home for our Out.com members. As we focus on being
the largest and most successful gay and lesbian magazine, we are
confident that PlanetOut's
online community will offer
our Out.com customers the
services and information they
need," said Henry Scott, Out
Pub I ish i ng president.
"We have great respect
for Out Magazine's people,
editorial, and the way they
blazed the path for other gay
and lesbian businesses. We
look forward to serving
Out.com customers," said
Tom Rielly, President and
CEO of PlanetOut.
immediately,
Effective
www.out.com will point to www.planetout.com, where visitors
will see a "welcome, Out.com members" logo on PlanetOut's
home page. Out Magazine closed their site last week to focus on
their magazine. PlanetOut will respond to Out.com customer
inquiries.
Out Magazine will run advertising for PlanetOut, and
PlanetOut's advertising Out magazine and hosting a Out.com
subscription site. The first ad will appear in March on PlanetOut,
and with the May issue of Out Magazine, available the first week
in April.
To subscribe to Out Magazine, please call 1-800-792- 2760.
For a PlanetOut starter kit, call 1-800-719-6611.
Out Publishing, Inc., based in New York City, has 25 employees.
Founded in 1992, Out Magazine's circulation is 120,000 people per
issue.
Out is America's best-selling gay and lesbian publication. With
the latest and most authoritative coverage of news, culture, health,
fashion, and entertainment, it is the leading source of information
for the gay community.
PlanetOut is available at www.planetout.com on the World
Wide Web, at Keyword: PlanetOut on America Online, and at
Community Forums: Lesbian & Gay Forum, on the Microsoft
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

BEN MADDY: A BOARD MEMBER BIO
Joseph Kau-Be-Naw

Benjamin Maddy has been my friend for years, and a few days
ago he asked me to write a biography on him, so here it is. Ben
grew up in the Traverse City area and graduated from high school
at the Interlachen Arts Academy as a Theatre Major. After
graduation he moved to Chicago. He worked as a manager at a
local Italian restaurant, he also co-founded the group Generation
Q. He moved back to the TC area last December and soon
afterwords was elected to the Friends North board, he is currently
working on putting together the Gay-la Prom, and of course there
will be other projects in the future.
None of these things though really tell you who Ben is. He is fun
to be around, ecclectic, fascinating, interesting, thought provoking,
and exasperating (sometimes). He reminds me of that silly pink rabbit
in those awful commercials, you can't seem to stop him, he keeps on
going. And I hope Ben keeps on going, and influencing others by his
emple, to take pride in themselves and our community. I am glad that
I have been given a chance to get to know him.

1997 ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY PROGRAM
PICKUP DATES
Wednesday July 16, 1997
Wednesday September 24, 1997
Please help Friends North clean their mile of highway
on M-72 in Williamsburg.
Meet at 5:30 pm at the theaters in Acme.
For info call Alec 275-2294

-2 3-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

DYKE SPARKS CONTROVERSY

CHRYSLER AND LESBIANS/GAYS
by Ron G. Woods
and The Campaign For Equal Rights At Chrysler

CHRYSLER HAS:
• Dropped corporate sponsorship of Ellen for her coming
out show ..
• Allowed severe harassment of gay/lesbian/bi/trans
employees in facilities.
• Reportedly threatened to pull all advertising from
Esquire Magazine if they published an excerpt by gay
author David Leavitt because of gay content, which led
to the resignation of the literary editor of Esquire
Magazine in protest. (Source: GLAAD).
• Refused the demand of the Canadian Auto Workers
(CAW) to add domestic partnership benefits to the
contract for gays/lesbians. CAW President Buzz
Hargrove said in the October 23, 1996 issue of the Los
Angeles times that "macho" Chrysler Executives were
not ready for that, even though General Motors of
Canada accepted the demand.

ALEXANDRIA, Va. - For nearly two years, the license plate "2
DYKES" Alice Deighan and her partner chose sparked only minor
problems. They had obscenities shouted at them once and Ms.
Deighan received a hate letter at work.
More recently, the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles
canceled the plate after a motorist complained. The women, who
are lesbians, received a form letter saying, "this license plate was
issued to you in error because it can be interpreted in a way which
would make it obscene, profane or vulgar."
Ms. Deighan, 34, and Scout, her 31-year-old partner who
changed her legal name to the single word, disagree.
"What they are objecting to is us proclaiming that we are
lesbians," Scout said Monday.
The two women said they are considering a court challenge. In
the meantime, they have applied for a different plate: "LESBIAN."

POEM3.KIM
Your hands were like butterfly wings,
setting me free.
Your touch was a special gift,
given only to me.
Your arms were my safety net,
catching my fall.
You protected me,
little one and all.

• Refused United Auto Workers (UAW) contract demand
to add "sexual orientation" to the existing nondiscrimination policy.
• Failed to post their new "Standards of Conduct" in
faci I ities
• Not yet given official status to the glbt employee group

Now you have the wings
bestowed to only a few.
Floating above my head
is how I see you.
Keeping watch over
me in my need.
Safely, surely
completing your deed.

• Not yet announced their promised diversity training
program
• Provides sexual harassment training to new hires only,
even though contract says training is for everyone

{Ron G. Woods can be reached at MichRook@aol.com
/810-545-7699)

Michele Mashburn

FRIENDS NORTH, INC., P.O. Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49685-0562

YES, I want to be a supporting member of the Friends North Organization
D Single: $15.00
D Couple: $25.00 (includes one-year newsletter subscription)
I am enclosing an additional:
D 10.00
D 20.00
D 40.00
and I would like to see this used for:
D Newsletter
□ Where needed D Education Fund
Optional First Class Mailing $8.00
Total Enclosed

$ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Name(s) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
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0 I would like to continue
receiving the newsletter but
am unable to contribute.

Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
DI am New to the mailing list. DI am already on mailing list. D Note my new address.
D Please remove me from your mailing list.
The F/N mailing list is confidential and our mailings come in an unmarked envelope.

NETWORKING 45°NORTH

-24-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

STRAIGHTS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!

9. "You've never had a good experience w/1. a man 2.
a
woman." a zebra. that's about how pertinent that question is.

Chris Convissor
Okay. That's a generalization, but we can agree some people
have such a narrow scope. For example when four women (two
couples in our world) appeared for tee time last fall, our starter
Huh?
winked knowingly, "Dumped the guys for an afternoon, eh?"
And, of course, we all know straights that we just forget are
straight. They're part of the fold, we're all part of something bigger
and beyond the terms . .. but for those instances when typica I reality
hits I've made a few notations. I bet you've heard plenty others. If you
think of them, jot them down. Send them to me via Friends North. I'd
like to add them to The List:

10. "Why do you feel a need to show your affection in public?"
Oh I don't know, why does Arnold Schwarzenegger hold
Maria Shriver's hand anyway?
11 . "Aren't you afraid of getting AIDS?" Just a teensy bit of denial
here on how fast AIDS is spreading in the hetero society.
12. "It's not in The Bible."
pork, either. Next.

13. "It's not natural." It's natural to me.
14. "Animals don't do it. Then explain spooge dog to me. My male
dog being danced upon by my mother's male dog., like all day.
It's more than a dominance thing.

The List: Straights say the darndest things!
1. "That's okay for you, but I'm not."
outlook.

The totally self-absorbed

2. "I know this gay in Chicago. Maybe you know him ."
And I know everyone of the 300,000 in Atlanta too.

15. "Those relationships never last." Speaks the sexuality with a
50% divorce rate. This the old 'damned if you do, damned if
you don't' routine. They don't want us to have gay marriage
and then accuse us of having short-term relationships. Despite
this, I am privileged to know several couples celebrating, 30,
35, 40 and more years together successfully. No, we're not
encouraged to put our anniversaries in the paper, but we don 't
need the trivial to keep us together.

Yah .

3. This is not so much said . A straight man or woman coming
onto you at social events, despite the fact you've been in a
monogamous relationship for years. If you' re gay obviously
they know they're irresistible to you and everyone knows gay
people screw at the drop of a het.

16. "Do you think there are any other lesbians or gays up here
besides you?" You've never been to Lake Ann, have you?

4. "Why do you recruit?" I've never understood this one. I don 't
recruit. I wouldn 't know what recruiting was if I hadn' t met a
Jehovah 's Witness or a " concerned" heterosexual.

17. "Lesbians hate men." Depends on the man.
18. "What about the Gay Agenda?" What's scheduling brunch
have to do with anything? I think the "Cay agenda " is a
convenient 'hate term' created by bigots. No one's ever asked
me what my agenda is and don't assume you know it either.

5. "Aren't you going to miss having children?" and "What are you
going to do when you're older?" No, unlike many unthinking
heterosexuals I chose not to have children, I didn't just have
them inadvertently. In addition please refer to Rosie or Melissa
Ethridge's life. And one final note: You don 't have children to
hedge against loneliness later in life.

19. "Why do you want special rights?" My special rights are: to get
beat up, fired, Jose my family, lose my living space, be kicked
out of the Church, military, any club I might want to belong to,
I have no hospital visitation right with my significant other, no
coverage under each other's insurance. These are all special
rights reserved only for us. You can have them.

6. The inevitable " But what do you do?" The same thing you do
but one of us doesn't fake the orgasm. (I give all due credit for
this answer to Susan Westenhoeffer.)
7. "How did you know?"

How did you know?

8. "Why can ' t you just change back?"
can't.

Bay

Business
•
Services
Inc.

Yeah and you're not supposed to eat

20. "It's probably just a phase."
yours.

The same reason you

Let me know when you 're out of

21. "You don't look, act, speak like one."

Neither do you.

22. "You' re the first one I've ever met." Look around. You've never
been to the post office, the museum, the grocery, the
mechanic, the builder, and you don ' t have any relatives
whatsoever.

Office: (616) 941-5748

ANDREW L. MITCHELL

Accounting & Tax Service

I do have to end with a personal anecdote. While travelling in a
motorhome for a year and half, CJ and I were able to stay with my
godmother in Fresno for a week. A great time spent with many long
lost relatives. One of her grandchildren came home with a cute story .
"Grandma! I learned a new meaning for gay. It can mean happy!"
Only in California, where they read the story, "The Gay Bunny." Of
course she already knew from her exposure to CJ and me that
being lesbian/gay often means happy too.

810-B South Garfield Ave • Traverse City, Ml 49686
NETWORKING 45°NORTH

-2 5-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

814-B S. Garfield• Traverse City, MI 49686

services - at least qualitatively - on the hate crime beat. In a twopart feature for "Austin Chronicle" (March 14-20), for example, staff
writer Amy Smith examines both the general problem of hate crime
and a specific anti-gay killing. In her second feature, the article's
headline ("A Gay Man's Search for Sex Ends in His Murder") and
subhead ("Dangerous Liaisons") foreshadow an unfortunate slant one that is common in both the mainstream and alternative press. The
reporter's good intentions give way to a biased emphasis on the
murder victim's "risky" behavior.
Specifically, Smith focuses on "pick-up encounters," in which gay
men have "sex with strangers." She treats "cruising" almost as if it were
a co-factor in hate crime. The suggestion, that such encounters are a
particularly fertile medium for violence, is not backed up by any hard
data - at least not in Smith's article.
Too easily missed in such coverage is that, in regard to any hate
crime, the VICTIM'S behavior is essentially irrelevant. This point is well
made by Guy Trebay, in one of the better columns generated by the
NCAVP survey ("Village Voice," March 18).
Trebay challenges a remark made by Janet Reno, who - in
commenting on the recent rise in hate crime - had said that "federal
hate crime statutes do
not now permit us to prosecute offenses motivated by a victim's sexual
orientation." "It's probably worth noting ... the oddly reflexive bias of
the attorney general's own formulation," Trebay points out. "Can
victims really be said to 'motivate' hate crime? Isn't irrational hatred the
cause of that?"
Perhaps because of such "oddly reflexive" bias, the "riddle" of antigay violence has remained just that. Expounding a measure of evasion
in lieu of prevention, "solutions" for hate crime are continuously vexed
in their reflection of the media's deference to homophobia.
It is far less effective, but apparently more acceptable, to reduce
the risk of hate violence by changing homosexual behaviors (advising
gay men to avoid "pick-up encounters," for example) instead of
changing homophobic beliefs. Absent any diagnosis of homophobia by
the press, hate crimes are treated essentially as symptoms of
homosexuality!
By way of remedy, the mainstream media could expand their
coverage of hate crime, to include a sustained and direct interrogation
of homophobia. Hate crime statistics might be reported with reference
to hate groups. The coverage of annual surveys, in particular, begs for
an examination of homophobes and homophobia- the "who," "what"
AND "why" that link these disparate acts as crimes of hate.
While career homophobes are so often quoted for "balance" in
ANY gay-related story, they are typically left OUT of articles on antigay violence. The omission is ironic. This might be the one story in
which anti-gay spokespersons DO play an integral part-whether they
admit it or not. Comments on the media's current coverage of hate
violence, and suggestions for improvements in the future, should be
sent to: Associated Press, 50 Rockefeller Plaza, 5th Floor, New York,
NY 10020-1666, tel. 212-621-1600, fax 212-621-1500 or 212-6217520, e-mail rgersh@ap.org; United Press International, 1400 I Street
NW, Washington, DC 20005, fax 202-898-8057 or 202-898-8133.
Amy Smith, Assistant Editor for Politics,

Res: 616-275-2502 • Office 616-933-4424

The Triangle Foundation is a member of the NCA VP.

LEARNING TO TELL CRIME
by MED/Alert!

NCAVP 1997 REPORTS NOT WELL COVERED BY MEDIA.
Most of the major news media carried reports of the latest "gay
bashing" survey, conducted by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence
Programs (NCAVP). Indicating a significant rise in violence against gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people, the new survey also
prompted a number of local reports-tracking incidents of hate crime
in several of the 14 cities surveyed by NCAVP.
Despite some improvement, the recent coverage of hate crime is
warped by an old, salacious spin. Again, national and local reporters
skirted the vital connections between hate violence and organized
homophobia. Even individual homophobes are oddly missing from
many news reports, which have tended to dwell more on the VICTIM'S
behavior (and much less on the VICTIMIZER'S).
Victims might not be blamed, outright, any longer- but they are
implicated nevertheless. Typical of this subtle bias of "homophobe
omission" is the NCAVP coverage from United Press International
(March 11 ), which reports that: "Violent crimes against gay
communities caused 867 injuries or deaths nationwide .... " Literally, of
course, violent CRIMINALS (i.e., homophobes) were the immediate
cause. Yet neither the word "homophobe" nor "homophobia" appear
-anywhere-in UPl'sstory.
The UPI report does use the phrases "gaybashing" and
"gaybashers," however. While common parlance among gays, these
terms can prove misleading in the mainstream press.
A style guide developed by the Seattle chapter of the National
Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association advises journalists to avoid the
term "gay bash ." As NLGJA explains: "The choice is complex, because
while the term focuses on assaults on gays and lesbians, its overuse may
also minimalize them. 'Bashing' has become synonymous with light
verbal jabs, such as 'lawyer bashing."'
Even the most war-like violence against homosexuals - like
blowing them up - still evokes vague and narrow assessments of
homophobic hate. In covering the recent bombing of a lesbian club in
Atlanta, for instance, the Associated Press (February 23) reported: "The
mayor met with gay and lesbian activists Sunday and ordered extra
police protection for nightclubs frequented by homosexuals." Again, a
subtle bias emerges. The AP did not report, as it could have, that
homosexual venues required extra protection FROM HOMOPHOBES.
Not surprisingly, the alternative press has edged out the wire

c5uzelle

Garb.ii,

G£iropraclor

Activator Method (low force technique)
and gentle manual adjusting
•

NElWORKING 45°NORTH

Massage Therapy
Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

-2 6-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Property of the Center

GAY FOUNDATION SUES STATE REPRESENTATIVE
TRIANGLE FOUNDATION TO CONTEST LIES BY REPUBLICAN
(DETROIT, MICHIGAN/ 28 FEBRUARY 1997) -THE
TRIANGLE FOUNDATION, a Detroit-based gay/lesbian antiviolence organization filed a six-count complaint against STATE
REPRESENTATIVE DEBORAH WHYMAN in Wayne County Circuit
Court (case number 97-706203 NZ) today. The suit alleges several
instances of libel, slander and defamation.
"Lies and intentional misinformation about gays and lesbians
must be challenged whenever they are published," said Jeffrey
Montgomery, President of the Triangle Foundation. "It is especially
important to hold public officials accountable when they engage in
the intentional distortion of facts and truth . They need to be held to a
higher standard of integrity and responsibility."

PROGRESS AT

TEXACO!
by Henry Messer of the Triangle Foundation

After much pressure to improve diversity, the current Annual
Report ofTexaco states:
"We also moved quickly to build on the substantial progress
made in recent years at Texaco in creating a more open and inclusive
workplace. In December, we announced the accelerated
development of our workforce diversity programs and our economic
outreach efforts to minority- and women-owned businesses.
"Our company is pursuing these initiatives for two simple
reasons. First- and most important- because they are the right thing
to do. They reflect the most fundamental value of our company :
respect for the individual. Within Texaco we are totally committed
to this core value, and it is the number-one leadership standard for
our management team. Respect means something else as well: zero
tolerance for discrimination, whether it is motivated by racism, antiSemitism or intolerance of any religion, sexual preference, disability,
gender or age."
Texaco is joining the new corporate standard of workplace
environments for the next millennium. They need to learn that sexual
orientation is not a "preference," but they have certainly made great
progress.
You can congratulate them:
RICHARD F. BRENNER, PRES.
Human Resources Division
TEXACO
2000 WESTCH ESTER A VE
WHITE PLAINS NY 10650
brennrf@texaco.com
and remind them that sexuality is not a "preference."

NETWORKING 45'NORTH

An unusual joint letter was released to the media today [10
March] from the Family Research Council, Concerned Women for
America, American Family Association and Coral Ridge Ministries.
Radical right leader Beverly LaHaye also went on Christian "talk
radio" today to blast American Airlines because "American' s
sponsorship of homosexual 'pride' events constitutes an open
endorsement of promiscuous homosexuality." She and the others
have written CEO Bob Crandall at American to complain that the
airline has "gone beyond mere tolerance" for gays and lesbians. [The
full article appears in today's Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and possibly
picked up by other newspapers around the country.]
American Airlines is a major sponsor to and supporter of groups
like GLAAD, the Human Rights Campaign, the Gay and Lesbian
Victory Fund, AIDS Action Foundation, DIFFA, AmFAR, and scores
of community-based groups representing gays and lesbians. It is also
the first airline to adopt a written non-discrimination policy covering
sexual orientation in its employment practices, and it is well
represented by the leadership of its gay and lesbian employee group,
GLEAM. For these pioneering efforts, and its marketing and sales
outreach to the gay and lesbian traveler, American has become the
next bullseye for hard-hitting, anti-gay corporate attacks.
THE RESULT: American's switchboard and e-mails are being
bombarded now by homophobic and hateful callers who have been
urged by LaHaye and others to demand the company terminate its
gay-friendly policies.
Please write American Airlines and let them know that you
support their work with the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
community.
Contact: Robert L. Crandall, President, American Airlines, P.O.
Box 619612, MD 2400 DFW Airport, TX 75261-9612, phone:
817.967.2000, fax: 817.967.2000,
e-mai I: webmaster@amrcorp.com.
Joining American Airlines in supporting the 1997 GLAAD Media
Awards are these other corporate sponsors:
A&E Network, ABC Television, Absolut, Air France, Alfred Dunhill,
American Express,
AT & T, Capitol Records, Castle Rock
Entertainment, CBS Entertainment, Chase Manhattan Bank,
CompuServe - Pride Media, Donna Karan, Doubleday Books,
Dreamworks SKG, Dutton Books, Eastman Kodak Company, Geffen
Records, GTE, Gucci, Harper Collins, Home Box Office, House of
Seagram, Hyatt Regency, IBM, Ikea, Joe Boxer, Kenneth Cole,
Landmark Theatre Corp., Latham & Watkins, Mediapolis, Inc.,
Mellon Private Asset Management, M~-Goldwyn-Mayer, Miller
Brewing Company, Miramax Films, Mistie Beverages, MTV
Networks, NBC, Inc., Neiman-Marcus, Neutrogena, Pacific Bell,
Paramount Pictures, Penguin, USA, People Weekly Magazine, Philip
Morris Companies, Inc., See's Candies, Showtime Networks, Inc.,
Simon & Schuster, Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, LLP, Sony
Pictures Entertainment, The Gap, The Walt Disney Company,
Ticketmaster, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., Twentieth Century
Fox Television, United Artists, Universal Studios, Vintage Books,
Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Records, Warner Brothers, Wells
Fargo Bank

-2 7-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

IE

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u

STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES

IR

cc

IE

LOCAL SPIRITUAL:

Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) . . . .. ...... . 800-347-HATE
Michigan Wellness Networks . .... ..... . .. . .. .... . . . . 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .. .. . . . ... .... .... 800-347-TEEN

STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL I POLITICAL/ MEDIA

Rev. Geraldine Colvin & Rev. David Florence
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City .... ... ... 616-932-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ... . ... . . 616-223-7999

LOCAL COUNSELING:

The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 . .. . . .... 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 50729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . .... ... .. ... . 616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . ... . ..... .... . 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . . . . ... . ..... ......... . .... . . . 810-398-7105
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 . . ....... . ... .... 517-332-3200
e-mail . . .... ... . .. ..... .... . ... .... . .. . . . lahr@macatawa.org
Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... . . . ... . ... . 517-371-5257
Triangle Foundation {Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit 48219 . . ..... . .. ... 313-537-3323
... ... ... . .... .. . ... . ... .. . ....... ... .... Fax: 313-537-3379
email .. .. . .. . . ..... ........... . . .. . .. . ...... trijeffm@aol.com
Between The Lines (newspaper/monthly) . ..... .. .. . . . . . 810-615-7003
33528 Eight Mile, Ste. 185A3, Livonia, Ml 48152 .. . FAX 810-615-7018
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
The Third Coast (magazine/monthly) .. ..... ........... 616-451-4903
1322 Hurd, SE, Grand Rapids 49506 ... ....... .. FAX 616-451-0915
e-mail .. . . .... . .. . ........ ..... . ........ lllrdCoasst@aol.com

NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .... 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 ..... . .. . . ... 212-807-1700
...... . . ... . . . ....... ....... .. . . ... . ..... Fax: 212-807-1806
email . . . .... .......... .... . . . .. .. . ........ glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ..... . . .. . .. .. ... 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . ..... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund .. . ... . 212-809-8585 x 205
120 Wall St., NY, NY 10005 ......... .. ..... ... Fax: 212-890-0055
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 . ....... . . 415-621-067 4
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ... . . .. 202-628-4160
...... ...... . . .... . .. .. . .. . . .... ... . ... .. Fax: 202-347-5323
e-mail . . .. . . . . . ........ . . . ... . . . . .. .... .. . . www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
101214th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-842-7679

-28-

Third Level Crisis Intervention, . . ...... . ........ .. .... 616-922-4800
1022 E. Front St., TC, Ml 49686 .. ... .. . ....... . and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center .. . .. . .... . . ... . .... . . .... 616-941 -1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD .. .. .. ... .. .... ........... .. . 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) .. .. .... ... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ... . ...... ........... . . . ..... . 616-947-0511
David Blisk (Maple City) .. . . . . ... . . ... .. . . ......... . 616-228-5105
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHt ..... ... . .. . . . . ..... . 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD ... .. ... ... . ... ......... .. 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .... . .. .... . ... 616-439-0656
William D. Gould, MA {Gladwin) .. . .... ... . .. ......... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center . . .. . . .. . 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ..... ... . . . .... . .. . . ... 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW .. .... . .. . . . . .. . . .... . . . 906-635-9263
Lois Martindale, Ph.D. , Benzonia . . . . .. ....... ........ 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City ..... . . . .. 929-1315 or 800-686-0749

LOCAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) ..... .. . . . .... .. . .... . 616-946-1804
Common Voices - F/N Rap Group . . . .. ... . .... .... ... Ed - 947-4697
. . .. . ....... .... . ............ ..... ..... . . . . Tom - 275-6127
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location & time ... .. . ... ..... . . . . 616-922-4800
or . . . ........ . ... ... ... .... ........ .. .. . .... .. 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nite Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. . .. .... 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC . . .. John 616-922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City, POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 . Cindy 616-271 -5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network)
PO Box 9, Traverse, Ml 49685 .. . .... . ... . ... .. ... . 616-943-5050
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill ..... .. 616-938-1333

LOCAL HIV/ AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks, GTA, Inc., . . . . . . .... .. . .. 616-947-1110
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 .. . . ....... 1-800-494-1160
Business Office . ....... . . . .. . . .. . .. . . ......... . . 616-933-0279
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks - HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group ..... ... .. 616-947-1110
Thomas Judd Care Center, 1211 W Front St., Traverse City,
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist . .... . . .. . 616-935-8140
David Rushlow, ACSW Social Worker ........ . .. .. .. 616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) ..... . . .. . . . 1-800-248-6777
Community Health Clinic .. . ..... ...... .. ....... . ... . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
Northern Michigan Planned Parenthood ........ . .. . . . . . 616-929-1844
(anonymous counseling & testing)
Grand Traverse County Health Department . .. .. .. ... . . . 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Emmet County Health Department (Petoskey) .. .... .. ... 616-347-6014
Also call the District Health Department in your area



., an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgendered and their friends.

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1997

Equality Through Visibility
THE

1997 GRAND TRAVERSE AREA

PRIDE CELEBRATION
SPONSORED BY
FRIENDS NORTH, AND
THE GRAND TRAVERSE AREA P-FLAG
Children, Parents and Friends Welcome
Saturday, June 28, 1997

The Robb Farm,
corner Horn Rd. & M-204 in Leelanau County
$1 0 donation for food appreciated
(Campers welcome after 3 pm on June 27)

Robb Farm

For info call:
Carol - (616) 275 -7102
or
Jim - (616) 922-9205

Events: Friday, June 27

Campers arrive after 3 pm .
Port-a-Johns available.
Please bring your own everything else,
including trash containers.
Settle in and enjoy hiking and exploring the land.
Saturday, June 28: Pride Celebration

FABULOUS Garage Sale-8 am to 3 pm
Games/activities for everyone strting at 11 :00 am
Activities for young children
Bike tour-11 :00 am to 2 pm
Hike & explore beautiful Robb Farm
Picnic Extraordinaire-3 pm ($10 donation appreciated)
Evening Bonfire and Weenie Roast
Outdoor Movie-approx 9 pm
Sunday, June 29
Departure of campers-by Noon, please
Bring: Blankets, Chairs, Jackets, etc.

Food and soft drinks provided.

WE'VE GROWN!
FRIENDS NORTH OFFICIALLY WELCOMES TRANSGENDERED
by M 'Lynn Hartwell, V.P., and the
Board of Directors of Friends North, Inc.
At the April Friends North, Inc., board meeting, a motion was
presented to the Board of Directors to add the transgendered
community to our organizational mission and community. The
Friends North, Inc., Board unanimously approved this motion.

The types of discrimination transgendered citizens suffer from
are very similar to those suffered by gays and lesbians : public
violence and vilification in employment, in education, by medical
services, by police; they receive inadequate services both public and
private, in custody cases, invisibility of those who pass and strong
labeling of those who don't pass.
Transgendered people are discriminated against by family and
friends; experiencing harassment and/or discrimination in varying

TRANSGENDERED

continued on page 11

Richard Tuxbury

Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N
information.)
FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and
their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. Located in Traverse
City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
and a scholarship fund for financial assistance.
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Grace Episcopal Church at the Corner of Washington &
Boardman the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. Everyone is
welcome to attend.
Brenda Bartz - 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aoLcom
Victor Dinsmore, Secretary - 616-459-5759/itsyrigloo@aoLcom
Jim Groya - 616-946-7313
M'Lynn Hartwell-VP - 616-943-5050/les n more@aol.com
Jim Ingleson - 616-922-0925
Carol Lambertson, Pres. - 616-275-7102/tclambo@gtii.com
Ben Maddy- 616-271-3926/coolj707@aol.com
Julie Parker - 616-276-9330
Sue Schwartz, Treas. - 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aoLcom

FROM THE EDITOR,
I just finished watching the season
finale of "Ellen," and am wonderfully
surprised at the way the writers have
turned the usually flaky and ambiguous
Ellen into a confident, loving, and strongbut-sensitive person. Ellen's weekly
visibility quickly takes the shock away from the word 'lesbian,' and
then more gradually, the warm and lovely character of her brings
acceptance to its viewers. And, soon a neutral acceptance may turn
into something more, like 'promoting' being gay!
Which is why the religious extremists are so upset. As you
probably have already heard, they are attempting to force the
advertisers and sponsors to drop the show, and they're
threatening a boycott of Disney. Ellen, meanwhile, is quickly
growing into a real person with very real ideas, dilemmas,
frustrations and dreams. She has lost a few friends but has gained
integrity and moved us, the gay and lesbian invisibles, into the
spotlight of the moment.
Locally, the visibility increases also. Thanks to the Traverse
City Human Rights Commission, this May, the gay and lesbian
community was asked to participate in a community forum
organized to end discrimination. Appreciation goes to Guy Molnar
who spoke about the situations that gays and lesbians face on a
daily basis here in Traverse City. Interlachen Public Radio also
has featured part of this forum as well as interviewing Guy. Lest
you forget, gays and lesbians comprise the largest single minority
group in the TC area, followed far behind by Native Americans,
Hispanics, African-Americans, and Asians.
The Traverse City Record Eagle also featured local gays and
lesbians on the morning after Ellen's coming out show. Those
who stepped forward to share their lives and their views on being
gay were John Evans, Aimee Wells, Jim lngleson, and Susie Keillor.
This was one of the few times that the Record-Eagle has presented
gay issues without involving a token 'anti-gay' viewpoint. I
consider this a fine step forward, as the rhetoric presented has
been simply too predictable and hateful.
Don't forget the big events this summer, and especially the
Bike Tour. It would be great to see more local people represented,
and remember-all abilities are welcome, as this is not a race-just a
fun couple of days of touring and a way to meet some really neat
people. I hope to see you there!

NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor: Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tux00 l@aol.com
Publishing & Layout: Richard Curtis: 616-929-9605
or e-mail: rlc@traverse.com
Advertising: Ric Nelson: 616-933-7116
Mailing List: John Evans: 922-0746
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $120.00 for
6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call
'advertising' for rates.
SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking 45° North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part of this, and
to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #3, April 15. Issue #4 June 15, Issue #5 August 15.
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes to our address.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies are sent
bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.

HAIR FORCE ONE
801 West Front Street
Traverse Cit1/. MI 49684
For Appointment Call
941-8255

D

Mark Lizenby

printed on recycled paper
NElWORKING 4S°NORTH

-2-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Carol Lambertson

BOARD NOTES:

FROM THE PRESIDENT ...

Carol Lambertson
In an attempt to maintain good communication among the
Friends North Board of Directors, the membership and the readers of
this newsletter, we are adding this section to provide you with a
synopsis of what really happens at our board meetings.
We welcome feedback in the form of phone calls, letters to the
editor and attendance at the board meetings. Please let us know if this
information is helpful to you!

Hopefully most of the snow has melted from
your lawns and driveways, and the early signs of
spring are peeking through in sunny clumps. I'd like
to use the analogy of Spring -- newness, light,
budding, warmth, new growth, etc. -- to discuss my perception of
what's happening with Friends North.
Since being elected to a position on the Board and then assuming
the chair of President, I have seen so much happen within the
organization (mostly "behind the scenes"). As with any organization,
different people have different ideas and various ways of doing things.
It is easy to get caught up in the "politics" and forget the mission.
Friends North is no different in this aspect. The organization
today is not the same as it was over 10 years ago; indeed, nothing is
the same as it was 10 years ago. There are, however, those folks who
would like to remain in that time zone, comfortable and safe from
transition. We are moving toward change, however, with new faces,
new ideas, new ways of doing things -- "new growth" -- if you will
entertain my Spring analogy.
For instance, you will notice our masthead now includes the word
"transgendered." This simple change caused quite a stir. Some people
did not want to include the word on our masthead EVER; some people
were adamant that we put it there OR ELSE. And EVERYBODY had a
different definition for "transgendered " (I wonder how you can defend
or deny something you can't even explain?).
Another sign of change is the process we are undergoing in order
to allow people under the age of 18 to become members and
participate in Friends North events. Again, some folks are not in favor
of doing this, and others think it should have been done years ago.
What results from these conflicts of opinion is strife within the
organization. Board members disagree with one another, general
members disagree with board members; in severe situations tempers
flare and folks leave the organization and/or the board. Unfortunately
the organization as a whole may then suffer from the "one step
forward, two steps backward" dance.
The challenge confronting Friends North is to maintain the
original mission of the organization, yet expand our vision to allow
for new growth and maximize our potential. An even greater
challenge is strategizing how to reach our goals by working with one
another rather than struggling against each other. (I often recall the
words of a speaker at an NGLTF conference who reminded us that
the "moral majority" loves it when we are so busy arguing amongst
ourselves that we effectively promote their agenda!!)
Change can be uncomfortable and difficult. It doesn,t happen
overnight nor without struggles and disappointments. However, like
Spring, change also is inevitable and ultimately for the better.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MARCH BOARD MEETING
INCLUDED THE FOLLOWING:
• A discussion of Friends North participation during Earth Day
with an information table. Decision was made to support the
event with a donation ($25).
• Approval of$45 quarterly to goto "Common Voices", the new
name for the Friends North rap group, to help cover mailings, etc.
• There was considerable discussion regarding recommendations made by our attorney on establishing parental
consent forms, ,a change in the wording on our membership
members
forms, and other suggestions in order to legally allow
under the legal age of 18. The board voted to follow the
recommendations made by our attorney which will eventually
require a change in the by-laws (requires vote by entire
membership at either a special meeting or at the annual
meeting). Essentially, the recommendations allow members
under 18 years of age while protecting members of Friends
North and board members from potential litigation.
• The board again discussed our database (mailing list) and the
current system of maintenance. The Membership Committee
wants to update the database and be able to perform various
analyses. Some board members are concerned regarding
confidentiality. For now, the database will continue to be
maintained by John E. with further discussion at a future meeting.
• A review of stationery samples to choose a new letterhead
style prompted a heated discussion of whether or not to
include the word "transgendered" on
our masthead and
letterhead. It was decided to make to changes in the
letterhead for now and to table the discussion of
transgendered until the ne'fht!"'BOOM-(continued next page)

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-3-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Out,n

• At the April board meeting, a letter of resignation from the
Board was read from Tom Kincaid. Four people had expressed
an interest in serving on the Board and they were invited to
this meeting to speak on behalf of themselves in this regard.
Two persons were able to attend the meeting, and
after
discussion and vote, Jim Groya was elected to sit on the board.
Since Tom had been Vice President, nominations were then
entertained for the position of Vice President. M'Lynn Hartwell
was elected to serve as VP.
• Lengthy discussion of the inclusion of the word
"transgendered" in our masthead was begun. The board voted
to change our masthead to include transgendered.
• Materials from the attorneyregarding specific by-law changes
were provided to each board member to review prior to the
next board meeting regarding the" members under 18" issue.
This item will be discussed again at the next meeting.

+About
A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information

WE'RE MOVING
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is moving to a new
location for Saturday, May 17, 1997. We will be meeting at the
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse and presenting
a Canadian MOVIE, entitled "When Night is Falling." Highly
recommended by lesbians everywhere (or at least from Lake Ann)!
the U.U. Fellowship is located at 6726 Center Road in Traverse City.
To find us at that location, please follow these instructions:
US-31 South or North into Traverse City:
Turn North onto M-37, which is the highway that runs up Old
Mission Peninsula (the peninsula that divides Grand Traverse Bay
into its East and West sections). This intersection is at the corner of
Front St. (US-31) and Garfield St., and is recognizable by Arby's,
Burger King, First of America Bank and Grand Traverse
Ophthalmology Clinic;
As you continue up M-37 (Center Road), remember to keep to the
right. Do not proceed along the road (Peninsula Drive) that is next to
West Grand Traverse Bay:
You will pass a large church/apartment village to your left. That is
not the UU location. Continue up the gentle slope of M-37 and it will
curve again to the north.
Just at the end of this curve is a driveway on your right. This is the
UU Fellowship, and here is where you will find the gathering.
We had to make this temporary move due to a conflict with the
Unity Church, where we usually meet. We will be back at our
original "home" for the June coffeehouse.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse will open its doors at 7
pm. The movie will begin at 7:30 pm. Our suggested donation for
this coffeehouse is $5-$10. This event is not affiliated with the
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship.
June is Busting Out All Over
We invite all Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse attendees to
share in our June Summertime Grill and Musical Surprise. This event
will occur on the evening of Saturday, June 21, 1997 at the Unity
Church on Five Mile Road, from 7 pm until 11 pm.
Please bring your own grill foods (burgers, hot dogs, veggie
kabobs, fish steaks, chicken pieces ... got the idea?) and a dish-topass. Grilling and dinner will be done early in the evening, followed
by a Musical Surprise. You won't want to miss this evening!
Another Announcement
There will be no Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse in July. We
are taking an additional month off, this year. Attendance during the
month is typically very low due to participation in other Summer
activities by all of you.

Financial status at the close of March, 1997 is:
Opening Balance as of 3/1/97 ...... . .
Total Revenue ........ .. . . ... ... .
Total Expenses
................. .
Closing Balance as of 3/31/97 ....... .

$
$
$
$

4590.71
452.00
575.47
4467.24

NEXT BOARD MEETING:
TUESDAY, JUNE 3 - 6:30 PM - GRACE EPISCOPAL CHURCH

Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is held on the third Saturday

of each month except August and December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of$3-5 ($5-$10 ifwe have entertainment).
Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks are available.
For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
About Lesbian Coffeehouse mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message.

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-4-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

COMMONVOICFS

NOTICE TO THE FN MEMBERSHIP

Ed Richardson
The Friends North Rap Group continues to explode in
attendance each month on the Second Wednesday at 7 :30 pm in the
basement lounge of Grace Episcopal church, 349 Washington St. At
the gathering in January of 1996 (a little over a year ago)-Common
Voices had an attendance of two (myself and Tom Barkley) .
Common Voices has grown from those two seeds to an
attendance total of 21 g/I/6/t folks at the March 1997 gathering.
Common Voices never discriminates against age or sex. It
provides a safe and supportive g/I/6/t atmosphere for anyone who
needs to connect, or stay connected, to our local g/1/6/t community.
Even though topics and videos are often planned, Common Voices
will always have time to listen to problems and frustrations. We want
to be a supportive open door for g/I/6/t's new to this area. We also
want to encourage anyone who has not been to a Common Voices
gathering of late to return. (You are sadly missed and greatly needed!)
Thanks to the work of Tom Barkley, with the support of
Friends North, Common Voices is able to send a monthly
reminder of its gatherings and activities to anyone who attends
regularly. This is another way of saying that Common Voices
cares. No one has to worry about being asked - Common Voices
will invite and welcome you!
Our 4th Wednesday local restaurant outing at 7:00 pm is
growing but we want to be able to compete with the successful
Petoskey Group. Read your monthly Common Voices reminder or
contact myself (Ed - 947-4697) or Tom at 275-6127 for the
restaurant choice of the month (or any questions about Common
Voices.) If anyone is aware of local gay friendly restaurants, please
let us know! (We would prefer to "Nibble" there) .
Our Second Wednesday May discussion will focus on "How
to tear down the wall between gays & lesbians." We desperately
need input from both groups to have a productive, positive talk.
Please come!
In June, we hope to show a video about teaching respect with
fol low-up discussion in honor of gay pride.
As a reminder, Common Voices does not mind being a sounding
board. If you need to talk, you will not only be heard, you will be
listened to! Common Voces is also encouraging anyone that writes
to bring and read their work. We also welcome photography (and a
musical performance would be fantastic!)

Jim lngleson, Board Member
After meeting with our attorney to discuss questions and
concerns that have come before the board. We have begun the
process of responding to the ever growing requests from our
communities youth for support and inclusion through
membership.
Our by-laws at present state that a person must be 18 years
of age to become a member of Friends North.
The board wi II consider two proposed amendments to the bylaws.
The first amendment regarding membership, its purpose is to
allow a minor to join our organization, but only with written
parental consent.
The second amendment allows the board of directors of FN
to expel or suspend any member who has supplied alcohol to a
minor at any FN event.
It is the intent of the Board to place these changes to a vote at
a special board to be called in the nearfuture. The board will then
publish the resolution in the FN newsletter. The resolution must
then receive a majority vote of our membership. A notice of this
meeting will be sent to the whole membership.
Any questions or comments should be addressed to the
board through the post office box or by using phone numbers
found on page two of this newsletter.

Friends North
-Upcoming Events
FRIENDS NORTH PRIDE DAY CELEBRATION
Saturday, June 28

FRIENDS NORTH BIKE TOUR
August 8-10

AUTUMN HIKE
(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

FALL FILM FESTIVAL
(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

GAY HISTORY AND EDUCATION DAY - OCTOBER,

1997

Saturday, October 25, 1997
Park Place Hotel, Traverse City

C For A World
OIJies

THANKSGIVING POTLUCK - NOVEMBER,

502 E. Eighth St.• 616-947-1965

1997

(Exact Date/Location to be announced)

COPIES • PRINTING • SHIPPING • FAX

Anyone wishing to help organize any of the above events, please
call Friends North.

Joann Ewing • Brian Bensett • Richard Curtis
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-5-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Contributions
FROM THE COMMUNTIY
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS DARKLY
Alan Williams
Open any magazine, turn on any TV set, and you see it: rippling
pectoral muscles, defined abdominal muscles, bulging biceps. Read
the personals, and you see the descriptions: runner's build,
swimmer's build, medium build (whatever that is). Often there's
another statement in those personals,
too: "no fats." Enter a sexoriented chat room in cyberspace, and often the
first question that
appears, multiple times, is "Stats?" And woe to those
whose stats don't
warrant further conversation.
If there was ever a clearer sign that a lot of men are obsessed with
body image, I've yet to see it. The image dominates advertising in gay
and straight magazines alike. Whole publications are dedicated to the
pursuit of the perfect body, because a large number of gay men seek
that perfection at the cost of anything else (like a decent personality).
Heaven forbid that the image of perfection might have body hair to
mar those pees. Throw in a set of semi-pouty lips and a boyish face,
and for many it's a recipe of guaranteed sex. And the image can be
summed up in one word: "buff."
While it's true that not all men follow this concept of male
attractiveness, there's enough concern over body image that
magazines likeXYand Out have featured articles about this obsession
among gay men. In Out, Michelangelo Signorile questioned the
message that this obsession sends to
young gay men just coming out.
"It's true that there have always been
paradigms in the gay world,"
Signorile wrote, "but it seemed in the past there were more choices,
Today only one
more leeway about what was considered a gay stud.
very precise body type is acceptable--one that few gay men
have or
can achieve." I've talked to gay teens over the Internet, and they
all
see themselves are deviating too far from the icon of the "buffed boy"
to be attractive. For these young men, if they aren't "too fat" to be
attractive, they're "too thin." Theirfears aren't unfounded. In today's
gay world, men often find themselves alone, sexually and
romantically, because they don't have the buffed look. What's worse
is that many of the men I meet simply wouldn't look right trying to
put on the muscles that would make them a hot item in the gay
community.
It isn't just the muscles, however, that make this attractiveness so
difficult to achieve. The muscles have to be smooth as a baby's
bottom. Body hair suggests experience in the sexual world, and
experience suggests a range of potential sexually transmitted diseases,
including AIDS. It's no small wonder that the world of gay porn is
currently dominated by smooth, buff, young men whose semiinnocent looks run counter to the experience they
display throughout
the movie. Even magazines like Out and XY, despite their articles
suggesting the problems of presenting a single body image as
the
ideal, continue to include photo spreads of these buffed young men
in often provocative poses. (One ad in the _Advocate_, for a company
that offers AIDS resources, shows one of these buffed young men
NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

-6-

covered in nothing but a strategically-placed sheet, lying on a bed.)
As with all advertising, the implicit message is that this is the "in"
crowd, and it's a message that leaves many who are just coming out
with the feeling that they are not welcome in the gay community
because they don't have the right looks.
Is this image of exclusivity something the gay community can
counteract? According to Signorile, it is. "We need to empower
people who don't feel attractive," he writes. "I'm not saying that for
vast numbers of people the club and party scene is not fun, is not
great. But those who don't fit in need to see other images. Lots of
people don't see themselves in what they see of gay culture. The
not because it's a
range of what's attractive needs to be expanded,
good thing we should do, but because the range really is broader."
it has
Gay culture needs to remove the "body image blinders" that
placed upon itself, and stop driving people needlessly to gyms to
develop what my boyfriend refers to as "roller-coaster abs."

THE TRANSGENDERED EXPERIENCE
by M'Lynn Hartwell
"Why am I paid less because I am a woman?", "Why does he have
to payforthedinner because he is a man?", "Why can't I make love to
a woman because I am a woman?", "Why can't he make love to a man
because he is a man?" All of these questions are expressing a
dissatisfaction with the class system of gender that exists in our society.
Some people who are deeply dissatisfied with gender roles choose to
"transgress." Lesbians and Gays transgress the ru !es about whom one
should love. Other people choose a "transgendered" solution.
Descriptions from mythology, classical history, the Renaissance
and nineteenth-century history and cultural anthropology, all point
to a long standing and widespread pervasiveness of the transgendered
experience. The creation myths of several religions contain
hermaphroditic ortransgendered creatures. In fact, many traditional
cultures have included shamanistic roles for the transgendered. The
shamans were the healers, the mystics, the channellers of the truth of
their time; they were the tricksters, the jokers, the jesters, poets, priests
and priestesses.
On December 1, 1952, the New York Daily News carried the
banner headline proclaiming, "Ex-GI Becomes Blonde Beauty." For

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Transgendered (continued from previous page)
the next few months Christine Jorgensen (formerly known as:
George Jorgensen) became a household topic, as story after story
was published surrounding the year George spent in Sweden
undergoing sexual reassignment becoming Christine. Eventually
interest in the subject dwindled and the front page sensation
diminished and became lost within the inner pages of tabloids. Can
you imagine what it must have felt like in those days for Ms.
Jorgensen? Imagine how she must of yearned for friendship and
support in a world absent of any community to support her even as she was constantly thrust into the public spotlight.
Before 1968, electronic music mostly happened in the
basements of university music departments. In 1969 Walter Carlos
was about as serious and as avant-garde as any musician of the day.
With the encouragement of friends he produced the overnight
musical sensation Switched on Bach (Sony Records). After a long
period of silence from this prolific musician, Walter Carlos officially
came out of the closet as "Wendy" in a trail-blazing May 1979
Playboy Magazine interview. No longer taboo, the topic of
transgenderism began turning up everywhere; from an episode of
"L.A. Law" to " Phil Donahue;" from a public-television
documentary, to a nationwide contest for an Oprah Winfrey lookalike, whose red-faced sponsors later discovered was actually a male.
Yet again our nation's curiosity was piqued during a 1976
summertime media frenzy. Controversy had disrupted the world of
womens professional tenn is. Doctor Richard Raskind, M .D., had
undergone sexual reassignment surgery becoming Renee Richards,
Doctor Richards now sought to play tennis on the professional
women's team. Many women-born-women objected that "Renee"
had an unfair strength advantage over otherfemale players. It seems
significant that Renee Richards was attempting to play a professional
sport. Had she tried to enter many other areas of professional life little
controversy would have been generated and this reminds us that sport
is yet another extremely significant gendering activity.
Leslie Feinberg has spent a lifetime fighting for a world that will
enable us to determine, define, and modify our sex and gender
whenever and however we choose. "We have the right to express our
gender in any way we choose, whether it be feminine or masculine
or any point between," s/he asserts. For example, we can have both
breasts and a penis, or don a dress and a beard, or use the pronoun
's/he.' This kind of gender subversion runs throughout Feinberg's first
book Stone Butch Blues, a novel about a butch lesbian who grows
up in a factory town during the 1950s. The novel won American
Library Association Award for Gay and Lesbian Literature and a
Lambda Literary Award in 1994. S/he also was an invited speaker at
the Stonewall 25 rally in 1994 that drew millions of Queer people
from around the world. In Feinberg's most recent book, Transgender
Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Ru Paul, s/he traces the
interconnectivity of oppressions, Feinberg hopes to evoke the
broadest coalitions possible. Feinberg asserts that we can no longer
afford to use assimiliationist approach to activism.
On October of 1996, Hermaphrodites with Attitude, and The
Transsexual Menace gathered to protest the American Academy of
Pediatricians (AAP) for their continued support of Intersexed Gen ital
Mutilation (IGM). Hermactivists denounced genital mutilation as the

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

moral equivalent of subjecting homosexuals' to electroshock
treatment and prefrontal lobotomy. As one activist, Cheryl Chase said,
"Queer sexuality ... queer gender ... or queer genitals ... medicine
is obsessed with policing, regulating and suppressing difference.
Cutting into an infant's flesh and removing its genitals only to force it
into an acceptable body image has no place in a civilized society; it
is barbarianism there's simply no other word." One
Hermaphrodites with Attitude protester, who had lost all erotic
sensation due to IGM surgery, was informed that her former
pediatrician was inside chairing the panel on "managing intersexed
children." Through her tears, she said, "That [deleted] cut off my
clitoris, put it in formaldehyde, and has it in a jar!"
Today, some45-plus years since becoming front-page news, the
transgendered community is getting a lot of attention, and rightfully
so ... So, what does the word "Transgender" mean? In short,
transgenderism is a term that is widely used today to cover a broader
range of expression, from: "Transsexualism" and "Hermaphroditism,"
where individuals experience a sense of incongruence between their
psychological sex and their anatomic sex and seek to reassign their
physical sex; to "transvestism," where individuals dress in clothes of
the opposite sex often for sexual stimulation; to "cross-dressing," by
both men and women; and "drag," popular with several within the
lesbian and gay community.
Of the 157 transgendered people surveyed by Roberta Perkins in
1994: Forty-nine had been raped and eighteen gang raped. When
asked how many felt they had been discriminated against and by
whom; fifty-nine reported discrimination from gay men, fifty-eight
from their families, fifty-two from straight men, fifty from police, fortythree from lawyers, thirty-two from othertransgendered, twenty-four
from doctors, and twenty from lesbians.
As each of us, regardless of orientation or identity, moves forward
in more clearly understanding the other, we must also always
endeavor to respect our differences. I hope the transgendered
community will understand and respect the feeling shared by many
lesbian and gay individuals that it is important for our community to
continue to support private space for women-born-women, and menborn-men. Some women. (e.g. victims of incest), need to spend a lot
of ti me with other women-born-women. They need women's space
to grow.
Likewise, the transgendered community will need the respect of

Transgendered (continued next page)

Carolyn R. Delo
Sales and Leasing
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Traverse City, Michigan 49686
Telephone 616-941-0770
FAX 616-941-8145
1-800-942-4 724

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSGENDERED

(continued from previous page}

the lesbian and gay community in understanding that the
transgendered experience is unique and cannot be fully understood.
Private space in the transgendered community will sometimes be
needed as well. And most importantly, I hope that each and every
one of us will work together to bring about our common goal -that
every member of society, despite race, national origin, religious
belief, sex, sexual orientation, or sexual status (transgender,
hermaphrodite, etc.) may be entitled to be judged and to live in peace
under a government of laws free of prejudice.

RYAN'S LEGACY
by Greg R. Baird
A few years ago, I bought a book called, The Book of Questions,
by Gregory Stock, PH .D . This little book that sells for $4.95 was #1
on the New York Times Best-seller list with over one million in print.
I boughtthis bookoutofa suggestion from a friend. Since then I have
used this during gatherings with friends as a fun and insightful way to
learn about one another. There are 200 different questions with
varying topics. One of the questions that has always stuck in my mind
is, "If you could meet any two people alive or dead, who would it
be?" I would respond by saying two very different people, Ryan
White and Charlie Chaplin .
Both of these people have inspired me in different ways. Ryan's
battle with AIDS and using his voice to inspire others has left an
impact on me along with thousands of other folks. Even though Ryan
has passed away, his legacy has lived on through many other people.
I had the invite by Ryan's Mother, Jeannie White-Ginder to come
and speak at The National Ryan White Conference on HIV/AIDS in
Chicago. I went on February 14- 17, 1997. The conference was for
youth ages 14 - 25, educators, peer educators and health care
providers. There were about 300 youth in attendance.
I was to give two speeches while I was there and facilitate a few
workshops. My presentations were about "Building a Positive
Community" and "Starting a Gay-Straight Alliance" The youth came
from al I over the US and Canada. A majority of the youth that was
there were gay and lesbian. The one thi ng I found unique was that in
most of the sc hools they came from, they are labeled "strange",
"weird", "frea ks" and "different". Atthe conference, maybe for the
first time in thei r lives they coul d all fee l a part of a commu nity, a
sense of togethern ess.
The excha nge of conversat ion
was
incredible.

The conference incl uded workshops led by educators, health
care providers and peers. As you would choose for a college class,
you could go to a particul ar class or workshop that you found of
interest. On the Saturday that I was there and after I gave my speech,
I sat in on a workshop called, "Living it in the Windy City". A group
of gay and lesbian teens shared their stories and their support of a
organization called, Horizons in Chicago. I was moved by a young
Latino youth who told of coming out to his mother when he was 15.
His Mother kicked him out of the house and without having any kind
ofa support system, he went to live on the
streets of Chicago. For two
years, he was a prostitute who was raped and beaten which is a
common part of his survival on the streets . During this time he
became infected with HIV. One night while looking at a local paper
he learned of the Horizon group. He sought out their help and with
their guidance and love, found him a place to live, a job and health
care. He is now doing well and has become a peer educator. I know
there are other youth that are probably in the same kind of situation,
and we shouldn't sit back as a community and let this happen.
I felt so fortunate to have met so many wonderful people while I
was there . One was Neil Willinson from Camp Heartland in New
Jersey. Neil, a 24 year old man, started a camp for children who were
affected or infected with HIV/AIDS . Neil started this camp while still
a college student and now is known as a person in the forefront on
the support for people with AIDS. Camp Heartland is located in New
Jersey and for the month of August, four one week sessions are
offered. The wonderful part of this camp is that it is run totally by
contributions.. The campers attend the camp free of charge. If you are
interested in learning more about this camp and children with HIV/
AIDS, I have a wonderful video called, "Angelie's Secret". I'd be more
than happy to show it to the public if anyone wishes to see it. For
more info on Camp Heartland, call them at 1-800-724-HOPE.
As you can see, Ryan White's legacy has inspired so many. It has
given people hope and encouragement. We need to spi II that out into
our own communities and inspire others, regardless of the cause.
Now more than ever we need to help and support our youth . They
are dealing with so much. So many times as adu lts we forget to listen,
we forget to take time out and lend a helping hand. Our gay, lesbian
and bisexual youth need us as a community and we need them. I'm
very blessed to have been inspired by Jeannie and Ryan White. It has
given me fuel to inspire my community. Find your inspi ration and
bri ng it home.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/ JUNE/ JULY 1997

PROFILE: DAN MILLER & JEFF ERNO
John Evans

Dan Miller and Jeff Erno grew up in communities which were but
twenty miles apart. Jeff's mother went to school with Dan's father.
Their fathers worked in the same factory, but Dan and Jeff never knew
each other until one fateful day in July of 1994, when they met here
in Traverse City.
At the time Dan was
living out in Blair township,
depending on BATA, bicycle,
the kindness of friends, and
even shanks' mare to get to
hisjobintown. ltwastimeto
move. A friend invited him to
consider sharing with him a
large apartment for three on
Eighth Street in which Jeff was
the other roommate. It wasn't
too many months before it
became an apartment for just
two.
Jeff went to public school
in Boyne City until the sixth
grade. After that he went to a
parochial Christian academy
at Burt Lake, a fundamentalist right wing Baptist school, and then
back to public school for the ninth grade. He finished up in a private
school were he was able to work at his own pace. He graduated in
1984.
" It was pretty clear to me where my life was going at a very early
age. I determined that I wanted to go into the ministry, so it was very
logical for me to be in that school system. And then I went on from
there to an even stricter environment. . . they controlled absolutely
everything-what you watched on television (there was only one set
on campus), what movies you went to ... that was Grand Rapids
School of Music and the Bible. It is no longer in existence.
"It was really my coming out process that got me out of that
situation - that really enabled me to start thinking critically ... there
was tremendous guilt for questioning anything - yet how do you
answer that question of What do I believe? What I've been taught

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about Scripture or what I know from inside from my own feelings
and my own personal knowledge? ...
"I happened to have a roommate who was going through the
same thing ... He confided to one of the resident assistants that he was
gay. Hethoughtthatthis person was a friend of his. I didn't have any
idea about him that he was gay or going through the same struggle
and he didn't have any idea about me. The RA went to the
administration and they called him before the board and expelled
him . They held meetings in all of the dormitories, and all the RAs were
instructed to inform everyone in the school that he was being
expelled and why.
"It was at this point that I came out to him - the very first person
that I came out to - we went to lunch together and I told him - the
hardest thing in the world to do. He and I kept in contact for a couple
of years, but the last thing I heard he was in Christian counselling,
still wrapped up in all that ... "
Jeff left that school at the end of the semester, returned home,
worked for a while and then entered North Central Michigan College
at Petoskey. A year later he went to work for Country Star Market and
has been in the grocery business ever since.
At present he is office manager for Northland Foods in Kingsley
Dan graduated from Ellsworth High School in 1986.
"I went to Ann Arbor the day after I graduated. I got married .
Then I went into the Army. I left for basic training in December of
1987 .. . went to Ft. Dix for basic (we all got dicked at Ft. Dix) ... then
on to Ft. Lee, Virginia - Ft. Leisure - for quartermaster training ... then
back to Ft. Dix, and I was in Germany by July of 1988. I got divorced
while I was in the Army."
I recalled that I had watched the Gulf War on TV while I was
living in Marquette in winter of 1991. Dan said he was there in the
desert performing his duties as a supply person concerned with
petroleum, oil and lubricants.
"Yes, the TV war gave new meaning to the expression 'the
rocket's red glare"'
Dan was back here by November 1991. We first met at a
gathering at Friends' Meeting House in the spring of 1992. He was
staying at the Goodwill Inn, his only option (short of the Whiting)
when his Fiero refused to take him to California. But he soon found a
job at Meijer's as cashier and moved into a mobile home in Blair
township.
"That job was more fun than hemorrhoids on a long-haul truck

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-9-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

,

is now- there are 10 or 11 parents on the board, and all I do now
is the newsletter."
Dan is a non-parent board member. His principal job is to look
after the library.
Butthere is another focus in their life together and that is taking
care of Jeff's mother and grandmother, who live with them in their
16th street home. This past year they have seen Jeffs mother through
surgery and the necessary after-care.
"It would be difficult enough for a heterosexual couple to have
parents living with them, but Dan was completely supportive."
Our interview continued with some reminiscence of last fall's
Washington trip which they both attended. The accompanying photo
was taken during the candlelight march - a remarkable couple, not
only for their involvement in PFLAG and the gay family, but most
especially for their support of their own family.

driver. The only job I've ever had where I got written up for being
too enthusiastic: 'you're enjoying this job just a little too much' ...
I was still working at Meijer's when I started at the Book
Warehouse - worked both jobs part-time and then the Warehouse
offered me full-time. Then I was managing at the Yogurt House for
a while. So then I quit and had gall bladder surgery."
That was the occasion for me to meet Dan's parents - in the
waiting room on the second floor of Munson.
After recovering from surgery Dan went to work at Stone Soup.
Now he is attending NMC full-time, and working part-time at
Stone Soup. He also works part-time in Dean Robb's office as part of
a course requirement at NMC.
"I'll have an Associates degree in December. I'm planning right
now to go to Ferris, through the University Center. Looking to
secondary education with an English major and a social science
minor."
Dan first came out to his parents by telephone when he was in
Germany. "I just called them collect one night: 'You know what,
Mom, I'm in drug and alcohol treatment and I'm gay.' And Mom
said, 'We knew that', and I said, 'Which one?'
"So it went a little better than I expected but then I was in Europe
and they were here, and they didn't have to deal with anything other
than the knowledge. But then I came back and the problem came out
in different ways ... The argument would never be about my sexuality
- it was about a plethora of other things, but at the heart of it was my
sexuality ... I was expecting them to accept things they weren't ready
to accept... Plus, coming back was a cultural shock, and it still hits
me sometimes ... "
Jeff came out to his family soon after returning from Grand
Rapids. He was met with denial on the part of his mother who seemed
to say 'I don't believe it. I'll choose to ignore that whole side of your
life.'
"I thought that the people I had been the clos~st to would be the
most supportive and yet I think it worked in reverse, because
sometimes it is hard for someone when they have been close to you
to accept some new revelation about you. I think that was what
happened with my sister and my mother - they were really
disappointed because I wasn't the person they thought I was. But I
was. I was just trying to find a way for the Christian Jeff and the Gay
Jeff to coexist., and this brand of Christianity just wouldn't work."
After almost eight years of negative reactions from his mother,
Jeff was able to persuade her to attend a PFLAG meeting.
"Everything that I hoped would happen did. When she walked
in, there were other parents there, and immediately she saw that it
wasn't something that she did wrong. She was carrying all this guilt
around ... she felt responsible for what she perceived as my failure.
But now she has done a 180 degree turn around ... she even has a Tshirt which says 'I love my gay son."'
PFLAG has been a principal focus in Jeff's and Dan's life. Dan
had been attending in the early years but had dropped out. Jeff started
attending in April of 1994.
"The most wonderful thing about moving to Traverse City other
than meeting Dan was getting involved with PF LAG ... It was my hope
to continue to be involved until it grew in parent numbers to where it

WORDS AND MUSIC: WHAT'S NEW IN
BOOKS, MAGAZINES, CD's AND TAPES
by Rick Could
Here are some fun suggestions for warm weather reading and
listening!
Norm at AB CD's has given me the following CD list :
Happy Town, Jill Sobule. Last year, Jill created a sensation by
"kissing a girl" on MTV. The video was a hit and Jill has many more
places to explore (figuratively) on her second disc. It is almost
impossible to keep the first single, "Bitter," from running through your
head after hearing it. Norm, I feel that way about Celine Dion and
my doctor says it's killing me!
In The Mirror, Yanni. Yanni performs his greatest hits. Like? Well,
I don't know, but the guy has sold a gazillion records, has great hair
and has the thrill of seeing Linda Evans without her makeup, okay?!
A must-have for Yanni fans.
Savage Garden, Savage Garden. The cute boyz from Australia
have released their first disc in the USA. It should be a smash hit,
based on the catchy tune "I Want You". Another cut, "Tears of Pearls"
is even better, says Norm. Slightly reminiscent of early Michael
Jackson, when he was only musically "Off the Wall."
Living In A Clip, Ani Di Franco. The non-material girl is back with
a double live set. Ani's fan base keeps growing and growing and
growing, kind of like the Energizer bunny.
Coil, Toad The Wet Sprocket. This CD won't beon the racks until
May 22 but Norm has a copy and it's some ofToad's best work yet,
but don't expect another "Dulcinea." A little harder edged and look
for Toad on tour this summer.
The Saint - Soundtrack, various artists. Well, Val Kilmer may
have sported more campy wigs than Cher in this cheesy but fun flick,
but jump on the cool soundtrack of the season with tech no cuts by
(BOOKLIST

NE1WORKING 4S'NORTH

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continued page 14)

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Property of the CE! 11;er

GAY HISTORY AND EDUCATION DAY
ANNOUNCED
Matt McCormick
Right now, in the midst of mild temps and spring lilacs, the last
thing anyone wants to think about is autumn, and yet that is
precisely what we need you to do!
Friends North is gearing up for its annual Gay History and
Education Day (GHED) which is presently slated for Saturday,
October 25 at the Park Place Hotel in Traverse City. This day-long
event will be informative, educational, entertaining, and enlightening,
and is an important event for each of us to work into our fall plans.
Friends North members Matt McCormick and Guy Molnar are
working together to plan this day and are hoping for a record-setting
attendance. While the GHED does not have a theme per se there
will be a strong focus on and commitment to the younger members
of the gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual community in our region .
The day will begin with registration for those who have not preregistered and move immediately into the first half of small hour-long
seminars on a variety of topics. There will be a break for lunch:
attendants will have the option of remaining at the hotel to dine on
the premises (at a reduced rate) or wander to any of the nearby
downtown restaurants. After lunch the final seminar will be held
along with an address by the keynote speaker, followed with
entertainment.
Several details remain to be defined as of this writing but some
of the proposed topics include: " Positive Activism: Keeping Your
Cool While Making Your Point"; " Gay and Lesbian Youth: What Has
Changed and Where Are We Heading?";" A Crisis of Faith: To Be Gay
and Christian-Are the Two Mutually Exclusive?"; and" Ten Key Legal
Issues Every Gay Person Should Know." as of this writing our
keynote speaker can not yet be announced but do expect to get all
the details in a special mailer planned for early summer.
In addition to the seminars there will be a number of tables
displaying gay-proud items (books, CD's, clothing, etc.) as well as
historical information displays to give us all a better sense of our
accomplishments over the years.
The cost for this one-day event will range from $25-35 dollars
per person. As an added incentive, those participants who register
prior to August 15, 1997 will automatically be entered into a
drawing for some wonderful prizes donated by several (very

generous) gay-friendly business owners and supporters of Friends
North in the northwest Michigan area.
Please join us in October for this very important day-and
encourage a friend to come along. Also, if you know of anyone who
lives outside our region and who may be interested let Matt, Guy,
or any member of the Friends North board know so that registration
information can get out to him/her.
One final note: Matt and Guy are looking for any interested
volunteers who may wish to work in some capacity on the Gay
History and Education Day. Several individuals will be needed the
day of the event to help with registration and some set up but they
also need a few folks to help with other items along the way (poster
distribution, mailings, etc.) If you have a few hours to spare this
summer and would like to help out with this event, please contact
Matt or Guy at 616-935-4819. (Please, no calls after 10p.m.)

TRANSGENDERED

continued from page 1

degrees by most of society. Many in the legal and medical
professions fail to provide appropriate services. Every day a
medical doctor, who is a member of the American Academy of
Pediatricians (AAP) will surgically cut into five intersexed infants,
not for any medical reason, but to make their genitals look
cosmetically "normal." Most of these infants will lose their genital
sensation, some will later commit suicide because the sex selected
by the physician will be the opposite of the gender identity felt by
the individual (lntersexed = a person who has the primary and/
or secondary characteristics of both the male and female sexes) .
Sadly, and perhaps most tragically of all, the transgendered
community has experienced devastating discrimination from the very
people they anticipated the most support from - people within the
lesbian/gay community. We are pleased to say that the board of
Friends North, Inc., has made a serious commitment to remedy this
long-overlooked travesty in our region. It is important for all of us to
stand together in our struggle against injustice, hate and ignorance.
Each of us involved with the Networking 45 Degrees North
Newsletter would welcome your thoughts and assistance as the
Friends North, Inc., organization extends a heartfelt welcome to the
transgendered community- our path is not an end in itself, but a
journey toward wholeness, via the avenue of transcendence.

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-11-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRACY'S STORY
-by his mother (name not available at publication)
"It's a girl!" I was told on that blustery November morning in
1950 when Tracy was born . I held my miraculous new daughter,
my first child, and examined her and saw that she was indeed a
perfect little girl. But I was wrong. Disastrously wrong. Inside
the body of that beautiful girl baby was the personality and
psyche of a boy. It has taken 22 years of tragedy and misery and
hurt for the boy inside Tracy to emerge.
All that I want to say about Tracy's growing up is that it was
rough beyond description. Tracy was a handful - restless,
fretful, too irritable to be cuddled, screaming her rage if she didn't
get her own way instantly. When our second child, Daisy, was
born two years later, the contrast between the two babies was so
sharp that even strangers noticed. Daisy was sunny, cooling,
cheerful - and very early in life terrorized by her older sister.
Sometimes Tracy hurt Daisy accidentally in play; other times she
beat her up deliberately. Even when the girls were 12 and 14, we
had to have a sitter whenever Jim and I went out, to make sure
Tracy would do no harm to her sister.
In spite of her tantrums and sulks, Tracy was bright and alert
and did well in school. She was big-boned, athletic, "a tomboy." She
delighted in heavy work like putting up screens and mowing the lawn .
During the years when the girls were in their teens every meal was a
battle. We hardly ever could sit down together without someone's
leaving the table in tears or fury. Sometimes it was Tracy who
slammed down her napkin, shouting, "Why do you all hate me?"
Oh, we did all the usual things to solve our problem -we talked
to our pediatrician and to the school nurse and later to the guidance
counselor and after that to a psychologist. Jim and I searched our
souls to discover what we'd done wrong. We ransacked our
memories to figure out how we'd mishandled toilet training or shown
rejection or made some other crucial mistake. It was taken for granted
by everyone we consulted that we, the adults, were the ones who
were in error. We had to change in order to bring some degree of
peace and happiness to our troubled family.
But the experts were wrong, for Tracy was the one who had
to change. And it is a measure of the world's ignorance of this
area of human suffering that the poor child had to travel alone to
the brink of disaster before she would find her way.
Her final months in high school were as stormy as any I
remember. The battles continued, but between them, now, Tracy
would retreat into sullen silences and nothing I tried would mollify
her. Then, suddenly, about a week before graduation, her mood
seemed to switch; her anger gave way to calm. One night I went
to her room to kiss her good night and as I learned over her bed
she pulled me down to her and moaned into my ear: "Help me, I
don't want to die." I held her to me and she said it again. "Help
me, Mom, Help me. Part of me wants to live." When I looked into
her eyes I saw such sadness as I had never seen before.
That night I tiptoed into her room every 15 minutes, watching
over her. In the morning neither or us mentioned what had
happened and she went off to school in a reasonably good frame
of mind. But as soon as she was out of the house I phoned the

NElWORKING 45'NORTH

psychologist she'd been seeing. He was greatly alarmed. It was
possible, he told me, that the calm I had noticed in recent weeks
was the result of a decision - a decision to die. When anguish
gives way to quiet, he said, it can be a prelude to suicide.
He promptly took charge of the situation. By evening Tracy
had been signed into a psychiatric hospital. After three weeks,
when it was thought the crisis had passed, she was allowed to
come home again - providing she continued her therapy. She
moved out of our house into a furnished room on the other side
of the city, found a job and practically cut herself off from us.
That was four years ago, when she was 18. Jim and I rarely
saw her for the next year and a half and whenever we did, our
hearts would sink. For Tracy was a changed person . She dressed
and acted tough. She wore rough, mannish clothes - not just
the jeans and heavy shirts that so many young people go in for,
but clunky men's shoes and a woodsman's jacket. Her black,
curly hair was so much shorter than most of the boys' in town
that she had a harsh, butchy look about her. Jim and I used to
exchange glances, but neither of us dared to give words to the
terrible suspicion that was dawning on us; Was Tracy a lesbian?
Was that it? We couldn't bring ourselves to talk about it.
Then came the day, about 18 months after she'd left home,
when Tracy turned up at our house with "something important"
to talk to us about. Tracy, Jim and I sat down in the living room ;
then she dropped her bombshell. " I am gong to have an operation
that will change me into a man," she announced. "I think like a
man; I feel like a man . Now I'm going to look like a man and live
like a man."
She had sent away for further information to the Erickson
Educational Foundation1 in Baton Rouge, La, whose name and
address were listed in the magazine. Booklets and leaflets arrived
as well as an announcement that a Gender Identity Committee had
recently been formed at a hospital in the Midwest city where we live.
Such a committee, composed of a psychiatrist, a psychologist, an
endocrinologist, a urologist, a gynecologist, a plastic surgeon, an
internist and members of other disciplines; as needed, evaluates the
cases of those seeking transsexual treatment.
Transsexual.
That was a new and frightening word for Jim and me. What
did it mean? Tracy explained (and so did the leaflets and
textbooks we read in ensuing weeks) that a transsexual is a
person with the physical makeup of one sex but the psyche of
the other. A transsexual is not the same as a hermaphrodite
because a hermaphrodite has some or all of the physical
characteristics of both sexes. Nor is it the same as a transvestite,
who is one who seeks emotional release by dressing like the
opposite sex. A homosexual is usually accepting of the sex into
which he or she is born, but engages in sexual relations with
members of the same sex.
Tracy had looked like a girl from birth, developed like a girl in
her teens with breasts and normal menstrual cycles. But despite
the outside evidences of femaleness, inside her, struggling to
express itself, was a masculine consciousness - an almost

-12-

TRANSSEXUAL.

Continued Next Page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSSEXUAL

continued from previous page

irresistible drive to be and act like a man. That's what she meant
when she told us she was a transsexual - her psychological
gender was the opposite of her body's.
By the time she told us what was happening, Tracy had
already gone through the grueling physical and psychological
explorations of the Gender Identity Committee. She'd been
interviewed, probed, poked, examined, cross-examined, her
blood and urine taken for analysis, her mind checked out by
batteries of psychological tests, her chromosomes counted, her
hormones assayed, her fantasies analyzed.
Of the 54 candidates who had presented themselves for
treatment by the new Gender Identity Committee, only two were
accepted, and Tracy was one of them. For the past year she had
been receiving injections of testosterone, the male hormone, and
had been living like a man. (It was the testosterone which had
caused the coarsening of her face and body that we had notices.)
That was the committee's basic requisite to further treatment- at
least one year of living the life of the sex to which the patient
wishes to transfer. During that time Tracy was required to be a
man in every phase of daily life, to dress as a man, find work as a
man, join clubs as a man, make new friends as a man.
This is considered an important testing period, to see how the
new gender "fits," and how powerful the desire for sex
reassignment is before the candidate goes on to the further and
irreversible stages. Tracy had taken this initial step without
consulting us, because she feared that if we knew her plans we
would try to stop her. As far as she was concerned, that first step
was a success. Now she needed our help. Before any surgery
could be performed the Gender Identity Committee insisted on the
permission of at least one member of the patient's family. (This is
required of all patients -adults as well as minors - to preclude
later malpractice suits by family members and to make sure that
someone beside the patient is aware of what's taking place.)
Tracy had referred vaguely to surgery. Just what surgery did
she have in mind? She drew a deep breath, knowing how hard it
would be for us to accept what she had to say. Then quietly and
seriously she told us that to complete her gender reassignment,
she would need three stages of surgery- mastectomy to remove
her breasts, hysterectomy to remove her uterus and ovaries, and
phalloplasty to construct a penis.
My mind reeled under the impact of her words. Why would
any young woman want to have herself diminished in such a way
- destroying the deepest and most precious evidence of her
womanliness? I couldn't grasp it. "But mother," Tracy explained
patiently, "I'm not a woman - that's the whole point. I'm a man.
Inside myself I'm a man and as a man it's a horror for me to have
breasts. They're constant reminders that nature made a dreadful
mistake in putting me together. I have to get rid of all the woman
in me, and surgery is the only way."
I tried to study Tracy as if from a great distance, as if she were a
stranger, and I had to admit that, had I really not known her, I would
have assumed that she was a young man. I would have described
this young man as being, on the surface, surprisingly composed,
considering the circumstances, earnestly answering our questions.

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

It was impossible to read anything in Tracy's eyes;theywere, as they
had been since infancy, eyes of indescribable sadness.
Only a slight tremor of her hands and voice betrayed how
much hinged on the outcome of this conversation. Tracy knew
the future could go several ways, depending on our reaction.
At one extreme we could put a stop to the whole thing. We
could storm into the hospital and threaten to sue the doctors. If
that should happen, Tracy left no doubt she would drop out of
sight, find a doctor, perhaps in Mexico or Europe, and go ahead
with the operations. That way, it would all be done furtively, with
greater risk and more trauma, but her father and I would be spared
the notoriety. With or without our permission, the change would
be made eventually - Tracy left no question about that.
On the other hand, if we thought we could come to accept
Tracy as our son, if we could treat her as a man, address her as a
man, learn to think of her as a man, perhaps something could still
be salvaged from the wreckage of our battered family life. A
question surfaced in my mind: How do we tell people? How do
we face our friends? But Tracy was our child, after all, and love
for a child can triumph over bitterness and estrangement. I looked
at my husband and knew that he was thinking the same thing.
There really was no alternative for us but to accept - him.
Him.
In that moment we made a crucial choice that turned our lives
completely around and started us off in an entirely new direction .
Our decision was yes . We would approve; we would cooperate
with the doctors in every way we could; we would stand behind
Tracy in her quest for a new self.
So it began.
We were notified that the committee wanted to learn more
about us in order to learn more about Tracy. We found ourselves
putting our innermost thoughts on reel after reel of tape. We
dredged up recollections about times and emotions we thought
we'd left behind us forever.
And gradually we began to find some answers to our
questions about Tracy and the whole baffling problem of
transsexualism. We learned, first of all, that the very concept is
still controversial, but that increasing numbers of specialists are
now convinced of its validity. We learned, too, that the condition,
while rare, is far commoner than we had dreamed. Dr. Harry
Benjamin, a New York endocrinologist who is one of the pioneers
in this field, has ventured an educated guess that puts the number
of American transsexuals at about 10,000 [it is now believed to
be around 100,000).
In 1966, Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore set up the
first American center for sex transformation. Today, about a
dozen medical institutions, among them, the University of
Michigan, the University of Minnesota, the University of
Washington in Seattle, the University of Virginia, have Gender
Identity Committees.
The experts agree that there is no way yet to point a positive
finger of blame in the creation of a transsexual. Throughout
history, an individual's sex has been established by the
appearance of his body at birth. But that appearance may be
TRANSSEXUAL. continued next page
-13-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

IL A
(Note: All classified announcements as well as personals are run
without charge. Please submit them in writing to the Friends North
address, or call the editor (6 76-271-3042)and leave the advertisement
on the answering machine along with a contact phone number)

NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS:
DOG PARADE, Saturday, August 16, in Northport organized by the
Chamber of Commerce. This year's theme is "Mardi Growl," and
costumes for owners and their dogs are encouraged. For further
information, call Dave at 386-7341. (issue 3)
BIBLE STUDY: You are welcome to come to my home and study "A
Complete Workbook for De-Mystifying the Bible's Position on
Homosexuality" and/or other subjects of interest. This is a Gay and
Lesbian Bible Study that affirms and honors us as Gay and Lesbian
Christians and removes the stigma that has been placed on homosexuality
by many. We will be studying the specific verses in the Bible that are used
against us, and also studying the verses that most encourage growth in
our spiritual lives. DATE: First Sunday of each month, from 4:00-5:30
p.m., beginning June 1st. Please call for directions: Linda Wilson, 616271-4331 (issue 3)
COMMON VOICES, The Friends North Rap Group, publishes a monthly
newsletter, thanks to Tom Barkley. It will remind people who choose to
be on the mailing list of monthly Common Voices meetings, dinners and
other group activities. Mailing list names, numbers and addresses are kept
in confidence. This information will not be given out to any inquirers by
anyone in Common Voices. (issue4)

ON-GOING ANNOUNCEMENTS
VOLLEYBALL!: Anyone interested in playing volleyball at the 1998 Gay
Games in Amsterdam, please call Bill at 616-845-5220. (issue 4)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting monthly on the
first Tuesday of each month, 7 :30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on S. Airport
Rd., T.C. For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Joe. (issue 4)
GAY GAMES IN 1998: Team Great Lakes is organizing for the upcoming
games in Amsterdam, scheduled for August 1-5, 1998. Those interested,
please call Ann Heier at 810-547-4692. Team Great Lakes sent 180
individual athletes and teams to New York City in '94. (Issue 6)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first and
third Tuesday of each month, from 11 :30 am until 1:00 at a local, Traverse
City restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact Friends North. (issue 23
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a
difference! The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To
contribute specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at 2713042 or send a check (in an amount of $100.00 or less) directly to Friends
North. (issue 4)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis Center
volunteers. (Issue 6)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY is
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services are held
on the first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please call 347-8916
for details or write POB 873, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0873 (Issue 6)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION. The
group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay victims
of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823. Report
Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 6)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their

NE1WORKING 4S'NORTH

TI IF

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IE

JD)

Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants, DepoProvera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other
methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630. Services
are by appointment only. (issue 6)

HOUSING:
HOUSING WANTED-GM college teacher looking for room or small
apartment in Grand Traverse Area during July and August and possibly
late June. Prefer locations close to Leland. Non-smoker, references. Write
to Tom Grogan, 1044 Hatch St., Cincinnati, OH 45202 or call 513-4216588. (issue 3)

PERSONALS:
GWF-43, Never married. Looking to meet new friends; soon to have new
location-hopefully real soon. Redneck town's not for me after siz years
moving back home from the city. Time to move on and out. Write to:
Vickie Gliech, 17768 S. Tilson Rd., Rudyard, Ml 49780. Relocation upon
finding a new residence and the sale of the current residence. New job
location with Restaurant Mgmnt. as profession . Send name, address and
or phone number and I will respond. (issue 3)

GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends
North Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 p.m. at
Grace Episcopal Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets,
across from the Old Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 5)
COMMON VOICES-THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of
men and women who get together monthly for informal discussion, often
on a particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of every
month at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30pm. For
information, call Tom at 275-6127 or Ed at 947-4697. (issue 5)
GLSTN, the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Teachers Network, is meeting monthly in
Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For more information,
call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also welcome
and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace Episcopal
Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For more
information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others under
the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere that is
comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 922-4800 or 1800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Please see the Out 'n About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim at 271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 3)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday evenings
from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at 341

14-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Friends North Bike Tour 1997
-~.---------.

-~

-~

-~

Friends North is sponsoring our 6th Annual Bike Tour around Leelanau County. This
event will take place the weekend of August 8, 9, 10, 1997 with biking on Saturday and
Sunday, it's intended for gay and lesbian bicyclists and their friends. Please join us again or
for your first time.
Ours is a camping and biking weekend spent in the heart of the beautiful Sleeping
Bear Dunes National Lakeshore ... with the beach and swimming nearby ... loads of great
restaurants and miles of beautiful scenery for touring; all of which make for a great weekend.
We ride loops from the D. H. Day campground in the Sleeping Bear Dunes National
Lakeshore. This is not a race and there will be a choice of distances and routes from which
you can choose your ride.
Your registration donation to Friends North will include:
• Weekend camping & set-up cost
• Routed Bicycle Tour
• Dinner Saturday evening at the Glen Lake Township Hall
• Friends North '97 Bike Tour T-shirt (Logo bike caps and Sweat shirt will also be
available for purchase)
If you know enough about the tour and would like to sign up now, please fill out the
registration/release form and send it with your $70.00 donation check.
After we receive your registration we will send out directions and the routes in early
July. If you have questions about the tour you may call on of us ... Gretchen Sauvage at
(616) 943-9819, Kirk Mallow at (616) 943-4006, or Jim Ingleson at
(616) 922-0925.

P.S. In case you're wondering ... our good friend Jeff Knebl is advising us, as he has decided
to relax and enjoy the ride for a change ... as always we thank him for all his help and advise.

Friends North
Leelanau County Bike Tour 1997
Registration and Release Form
Please read and fill out this form to register for the tour to be held on August 8-10, 1997. Return the
signed, completed form with your donation check, made out to Friends North for $70.00 to address
listed below. If you feel that limited funds would prohibit you from participating in this event please
check the box below and send a check for $25.00.
Limited funds rate D

Please Print

Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - City, State, Z i p - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Circle Requested Shirt Size M L XL
Emergency contact person (someone not on the tour).
Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Please check here if you intend to stay in a hotel

D

Make check or money order payable to Friends North and send to: FN 97 Bike Tour, Jim Ingleson,
P.O. Box 51 , Traverse City, MI 49685.
In signing below I state that I am 18 years of age* or older and I understand the hazards involved in
riding a bicycle on busy highways. I accept the risks involved as a participant of this bike tour as my
own and would not, nor will any of my heirs, hold Friends North or the organizers of this tour in any
way responsible or liable for any accident, injuries, mishap, trauma, or loss that may occur at any time
during this activity.
Signature _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Date _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

If you would care to receive Networking 45° North, the Friends North Newsletter, for one year, please
check here and include $15.00 extra in your check.

Riders registering after July 10, 1997 are not assured of getting a T-shirt. Cancellations made before
July 1, 1997 will receive a refund of one half the donation. After July 1, 1997 no refunds will be made.
* Please contact the above address to receive an under 18 years of age parental consent form to be
submitted with this registration form.

HIV/ AIDS \1\7."~il Jness Net-w-orks
Fourth Annual ~i;l,~tt!i>q:- Friday, May 30
6:30 p.m. lj~~!Ia; oeu~~l!!il!~ .:•t'ilent Auction
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Every dolla:iv::§;p ,nf':cpunts<aiJ:g:(~j.lJ::§.elp support
HIV/AIDS :• s ~~iCes in No~e,i,irMichigan.

Please

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For more information call Wif:finess Networks at 933-0279

Dear Governor Engler:
H.R. 1602, aka "The HIV Prevention Act of 1997" currently before the House
gives cause for great concern. Many elements of this proposal appear to have the
potential of enhancing the very problem it intends to address. Consider these
points:
Mandatory reporting of individual HIV positive test results to a state public
health officer; mandatory testing of health care workers; and mandatory disclosure
of HIV positive status by health care workers all represent a serious loss of privacy.
The loss of anonymous testing for HIV increases public fear of the health care
industry and the potential of ruined lives may deter many from seeking HIV testing.
Add to that the estimated 425 million dollars annually required to implement this
program, along with the fact that this amendment, if passed, will force changes in
no fewer than 265 individual state laws.
Please join your voice with those of your fellow Governors opposing H.R.1602
and Senate companion #503. Raise the voice of reason even in unreasonable times.

Dear Senator Levin:
H.R. 1602, aka "The HIV Prevention Act of 1997" currently before the House
gives cause for great concern. Many elements of this proposal appear to have the
potential of enhancing the very problem it intends to address. Consider these
points:
Mandatory reporting of individual HIV positive test results to a state public
heal th officer; mandatory testing of health care workers; and mandatory disclosure
of HIV positive status by health care workers all represent a serious loss of privacy.
The loss of anonymous testing for HIV increases public fear of the health care
industry and the potential of ruined lives may deter many from seeking HIV testing.
Add to that the estimated 425 million dollars annually required to implement this
program, along with the fact that this amendment, if passed, will force changes in
no fewer than 265 individual state laws.
Please join your voice with those of your fellow Senators opposing H.R.1602
and Senate companion #503. Raise the voice of reason even in unreasonable times.

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address

Dear Mr. Eaton:
The troubling news of Chrysler Corporation's decision to pull its
advertising from the Ellen Show on ABC has come as a shock to many
individuals. This outward display of intolerance and ignorance is
appalling. Therefore, I am forced to discontinue my support of your
corporation and the products you produce. I'm sorry to learn that
discrimination among human kind is common practice within your
organization and feel sorry for the many people working for you who
will have to continue to hide because of your lack of support.
Diversity is what our country was built on and if we are going to
continue on a road to a peaceful future, tolerance and exceptance must
be supported. Pro-active leaders will help build our future, not the
misinformed.

Dear Mr. Oesterreicher:
The troubling news of J.C. Penney Corporation's decision to pull its
advertising from the Ellen Show on ABC has come as a shock to many
individuals. This outward display of intolerance and ignorance is
appalling. Therefore, I am forced to discontinue my support of your
corporation and the products you produce. I'm sorry to learn that
discrimination among human kind is common practice within your
organization and feel sorry for the many people working for you who
will have to continue to hide because of your lack of support.
Diversity is what our country was built on and if we are going to
continue on a road to a peaceful future, tolerance and exceptance must
be supported. Pro-active leaders will help build our future, not the
misinformed.

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Sincerely, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Address

Address

-------------------------

-------------------------

-------------------------

Place
Stamp
Here

State Senator
Carl Levin
459 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington D.C. 20510

Place
Stamp
Here

Governor of Michigan
John Engler
· State Capital
P.O. Box 30013
Lansing MI 48909

Place
Stamp
Here

James Oesterreicher, C.E.O.
J.C. Penney Corporation
P.O. Box 10001
Dallas TX 75301

Place
Stamp
Here

Robert J. Eaton, C.E.O.
Chrysler Corporation
1000 Chrysler Drive
Auburn Hills MI 48326-2766

Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month the
Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans Drive,
Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information, please
call 933-0279. (issue 5)
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information please
contact Tim at 348-8151 (issue 3)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 3)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and eastern
upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit organization that
has committed itself to helping and supporting the needs of HIV infected
persons. They offer a number of services, including support groups,
education, public awareness, and one-on-one friendship support.
Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena, Gaylord, and Rogers City
areas. If you would be interested in the program, please call 616-5269213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Saturday at 11 :00 am and have been moved to a new location
at Grace Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in
TC. For further info, call John at 922-0746 or Tom at 947-4647. (issue 6)
FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for gay,
lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please contact Jeff
@ 517-354-7702, or write to him at POB 391, Alpena, Ml 49707. (issue 4)

MICHIGAN WOMYNS MUSIC FESTIVAL
Every August since 1976, thousands of womyn from around the
world have returned to Michigan. We give ourselves this one week,
a week where we relax and enjoy the company of womyn during
every part of our day. Waking up each morning, our feet land on the
forest floor, our senses fill with the sights and sounds of a place unlike
any other. We are drawn to be with our community, to enjoy the
brilliant performances, and to stretch our minds through the non-stop
exchange of ideas and experiences. We come to enjoy, embrace, and
sometimes bump up againstthe diversity that is the very fabric ofour
community. Where else can we live with the influence and
interaction of womyn from most major cities, thousands of rural
miles, many cultures, dozens of countries and five generations? For a
week we know the absolute challenge and thrill of sharing body,
mind and spirit in this city of womyn.
Michigan is an experiment in cooperative community living as
much as it is a performing arts festival. Before you arrive, hundreds of
womyn have worked to create the space, build the stages, set up the
large tents that house everything frti,m kitchens to crafts, and organize
the systems and services that give our city its shape. Al I of the town
services are communally run. Everyone who comes to the Festival has
a hand in its operation; each woman attending participates in two
four-hour work shifts during her stay (one shift forweekenders). By
doing this we each learn more about the gathering itself, and we also
have a chance to get to know womyn we might not have otherwise
met. It's more than a cool idea; it's really the way the Festival runs. It

NE1WORKING 45' NORTH

is how we create the Michigan Festival that is home to each of us,
and it's how each of us makes Michigan our own.
The Land is a 650 acre woodland surrounded by the Manistee
National Forest, with beautiful woods and meadows for camping.
Once you've arrived and visited Orientation, a shuttle provides your
ride to the interior, where you can choose from popular camping
areas that are close to most activities, hike into more secluded
campgrounds, or take specific Shuttles directly to Over 50's, DART
or Family camping. Helping hands are available to assist older
womyn and disabled womyn with their camp gear. An RV
campground is located near the entrance (no hook ups, tents or cars
in RV).
Three delicious vegetarian meals are prepared each day at the
Kitchen 6 Tuesday through Sunday. First Aid care at the Womb,
general emotional support at the Oasis, and recovery meetings at
Sober Support are all provided through coordinated peer support.
Snack beverages, Festiewear and general supplies are available at
various Festival concessions.
Child care is available in three different campgrounds. Gaia
Girls' Camp offers daily activities and supervision through the
evening concert hours. Brother Sun Boys' Camp is an overnight camp
with a program of outings, crafts, cookouts, music and sports for boys
aged 4-10. Located in a mix of forest and meadow, the camp offers a
fun, welcoming and secluded area for boys, while preserving
womyn's space in all other Festival areas. Please respect the
requirement that all boys 4 and over, camp in Brother Sun for the
week, and be aware that we hold strictly to the upper age limit of 10.
Sprouts Todd Ier Family Campground provides a day camp and family
campground for moms and all toddlers 1-3 years old. In order to
participate in any of the Child care areas, all children must be preregistered by July 23rd.
Disabled womyn's resources are organized through DART. For
many womyn with specific needs, this area makes participation in a
camping event possible, yet it still may not be easy or comfortable for
some womyn to be in an undeveloped, rustic camping environment.
The DART registration packet describes the event and environment
so that womyn with disabilities can decide whether or not this event
can accommodate their specific needs. DART campground and
services are available by pre-registration only. Sign Language
Interpretation service is available for all concerts, requested
workshops and other activities.
The Community Center hosts many different community
activities and provides networking space for young Womyn, over40's, Jewish Womyn, Deaf and HOH Womyn, and womyn from
other countries.
The Womyn of Colors Tent offers community, celebrations,
workshops and special events. In its many-colored, multi-cultural
atmosphere, it offers a unique opportunity for exploration and
reclamation of our many and varied traditions.
If you're new to the Festival, ask us for a set of Tips for First
Timers, and we'll gladly send them to you to further describe
everything from the arrival process to handy camping tips.
For more information send a SASE to: WWTMC "i Box 22 "i
Walhalla Ml 49458 or call (616) 757-4766.

-15-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

either ambiguous or deceptive. Sexual identity within the
individual is fixed through a complex interaction of body and
mind, involving anatomy, hormones, neurological mechanisms,
and cultural and other environmental factors. The process may
go awry at different points in the course of development.
Apparently hormone imbalance or a viral infection or drugs taken
by the mother may lead to an improper programming of the fetal
brain. Thus the infant could be born looking like one sex, but
"programmed" to behave like the opposite sex.
Another thing that could go wrong is the male-female
imprinting that is made at certain critical times after birth. The brain
of any child must code all gender-role signals as either masculine
or feminine, and allocate either positive or negative values to those
signals." If something malfunctions during codification, the child
may become confused or contradictory in his gender identity.
Another curious fact is that the change from male to female is
sought at least four times more frequently than from female to
male. That was one reason why our local committee accepted
Tracy - they were eager to work with a female transsexual
seeking male identity. In addition, they were impressed with
Tracy's determination and emotional stability despite the
storminess of her growing-up years.
Make no mistake, it is a Herculean endeavor to change one's
sex. I know from living through it with Tracy. But once she
realized she had our support, she moved ahead swiftly. She
continued injections of male hormones she'd been having every
two weeks, and will continue them for the rest of her life. She
already had a job under male identity as a shipping clerk and had
joined several male clubs. And she was saving her money for the
expensive surgery she was determined to undergo.
I've been saying "she" because, of course, Tracy had always
been she to us. But now as I write this account I will change over
to "he," exactly as I had to do in everyday life. The switch in
pronouns has been a problem - it still is. But I've trained myself
to say "he," "him," "my son," "my boy," and to drop the
designation, "the girls," which I had so long used in referring to
Tracy and Daisy.
Daisy was the first person we told, and her calm, poised
acceptance of the news set the tone for the announcement we had
to make to others close to us. I had been petrified at the thought
of telling people, and over and over I rehearsed in my mind the
words I would use. But when I told Daisy, she simply closed her
eyes for an instant and then she said, "Oh, Mother, how he must
have suffered."
Naturally we did not shout our news from the rooftops. To
family members and close friends, we simply said, "Tracy is under
treatment for the correction of a complicated sex problem." Most
people who knew Tracy replied, "I'm glad your child is finding
happiness at last."
The time came for the first step in surgery - the breast
removal. I don't think I could ever be as brave as Tracy was, but
then I never thought of breasts as hateful appendages, as Tracy
did, to be bound down so that they would be less conspicuous.
The surgery was done at a local hospital. Today, the scarring is

NElWORKING 45°NORTH

hardly noticeable. I wish I could communicate Tracy's joy when
he first put on a low-cut boy's shirt- the kind basketball players
wear- and swaggered toward his reflection in the mirror. I guess
pain and suffering hardly count when you're achieving something
as basic as this was to him.
The hysterectomy was a Iittle more comp Iicated because, by th is
tine, Tracy was well established in his masculine role and couldn't
figure out how he could enter the local hospital as a man to have his
uterus removed. After careful consultation with his doctors, he
decided to have this operation performed in a private hospital in
another city. It was done six months ago and while it did not result
in as much visible change as the earlier operation, it had an inner,
symbolic meaning for him that brought enormous happiness.
The final - and most difficult - operation still lies ahead. It
involves a plastic surgery procedure that eliminates the vagina and
creates at least a semblance of male genitalia out of the existing
tissue. There are a number of different techniques now being
used for the construction of a penis, all of them multi-stage
procedures requiring a series of hospital admissions. The cost in
pain and expense is very great and the results not always entirely
Usually a
satisfactory, either in appearance or function.
prosthesis is required to accomplish intercourse, even after the
operation, and there is no way for the transsexual to father
children of his own.
So far, Tracy is determined to go ahead, but is waiting until his
doctors agree on the right operation for him and until he has saved
the necessary money. Lack of medical reimbursement is only one
of the hurdles a transsexual faces. To me, the legal problems have
been among the most upsetting of this whole experience. Many
times my heart pounded when I came home to find an officiallooking letter on the hall table among the day's mail. Since it is illegal
in most states to crossdress (that is, to wear the clothes of the
opposite sex), you can imagine the kind of harassment and even
blackmail that transsexual might be subject to in the early stages
of change. In the future, as people and officials become more
aware of the problem, I hope the legal red tape will be more easily
disentangled. As for what happened to us, I still shudder when I
think how gingerly we all walked the legal tightrope, while Tracy
was having his draft status arranged, driver's license shifted and
birth certificate altered . Finally, however, all was accomplished.
Was it worth it?, you might ask. There isn't a shred of doubt
now in any of our minds. The change in Tracy is a miracle to us.
After years of trying desperately to resign ourselves to an
emotionally disturbed child, Jim and I now find ourselves the
proud parents of a handsome, well-built, deep-voiced young man
who is as completely in tune with himself and his world as any
other young man of his age I've ever met. He is affectionate,
stable, productive and confident about the future. Those oncesad eyes of his are now often alight with laughter and rich depths
of feeling. He has a good job during the day as a salesman in a
men's furnishings store. He attends college at night, and is leaping
ahead in his studies and talking about going to medical school. He
has developed a wonderful camaraderie with the doctors and
psychologists who have worked with him so closely, and his
TRANSSEXUAL. continued next page
-16-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TRANSSEXUAL.

continued from previous page
SENATOR APPLIES LAW TO GAY STAFFERS

dearest dream is to join them as a colleague. He'll do it, too, for
Tracy now is capable of doing anything he wants.
One thing I used to worry about was his social life: Would he
be able to attract girls and form satisfactory relationships with
them? The doctors had assured me that many transsexuals marry
and raise children they have obtained through former marriages
of their mates, artificial insemination or adoption . And Tracy, to
our astonishment, has had great success with girls. When he
meets a young woman and likes her, he tells her candidly of his
sexual limitations. Many of them breathe a sigh of relief and
exclaim, "Thank heaven, no wrestling matches," and they go on
to warm, deep friendships .
One reason why I have told Tracy's story is to move forward
just a bit the public's understanding of the suffering that results
when the psyche of one sex is trapped in the body of the other.
But I have another reason for laying bare all the misery and anger,
the frustrations and fears that Jim and I and Tracy and Daisy have
lived through. It is to pay tribute to the remarkable men and
women who have helped· us find our way out of the darkness.
Their selflessness, courage and compassion have shown me there
is no limit to what human beings, at their best, can accomplish .

Sen. Robert Torricelli, D-N.J., has extended benefits of the
family-leave law to gay members of his staff. A gay-rights group
said other lawmakers have done it informally, but that the
freshman senator is the first to write it into his office policy.
It means that a gay staffer could get unpaid leave to care for a
companion in a medical emergency. The 1993 Family and Medical
Leave Act requires companies with 50 or more employees to offer
12 weeks of unpaid leave within a 12-month period for family
emergencies.

CHICAGO APPROVES BENEFITS FOR GAY
PARTNERS
Despite noisy protests by anti-abortion demonstrators and
church groups, the Chicago City Council approved extending
health benefits to the gay partners of homosexual city employees
in March.
The 33-18 vote in favor of the measure followed more than
90 minutes of emotional debate on the controversial gay rights
issue. Family-Pac, a pro-family organization, called the vote "an
embarrassing disgrace which will greatly damage the city of
Chicago financially.
Under the measure, live-in partners of gay city workers will
be able to receive the same benefits as spouses of married city
employees. Opponents of the domestic partnership ordinance
contend it subsidizes homosexual unions.

NEWS BRIEFS
compiled by Richard Tuxbury

CLINTON ENDORSES ENDA
President Clinton met with key Senate and House supporters
of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act on April 24th in what
one of the bill's sponsors called Clinton's attempt "to lend his
strong moral support" for the legislation.
In a written statement released after the 35-minute meeting,
Clinton said ENDA "is about the right of each individual in America
to be judged on their merits and abilities and to be allowed to
contribute to society without facing unfair discrimination on
account of sexual orientation."
While most of those attending the Oval Office meeting
Thursday morning met with reporters outside afterward, Clinton
issued his statement through a press release.
Barney Frank, a cosponsor of the bill, said he is optimistic that
the bill has a "good chance" of passing Congress "very soon"
but, he added, "I wouldn't bet the farm on it passing this year."
Joining Frank at the meeting with President Clinton were Vice
President Al Gore and two of the bill's Senate sponsors, Sens.
Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) and Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.).
Also attending the meeting were Elizabeth Birch, executive director
of the Human Rights Campaign; Wade Henderson, executive
director, and Dorothy Height, chairperson, of the Leadership
Conference on Civil Rights; and Rep. Frank's domestic partner,
Herb Moses. The two Republican co-sponsors of the bill, Sen.
James Jeffords (R-Vt.) and Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.), did
not attend the meeting.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

TUCSON EXTENDS BENEFITS
The City Council agreed to extend medical insurance benefits
to gay and lesbian "domestic partners" of city employees but
refused to do the same for unmarried straight couples. The council
voted 6-0 to approve the measure, which is expected to cost
about $27,000.

ESQUIRE'S EDIT
Amid rumors of kowtowing to corporate backers and shying
away from gay sexuality, Esquire recently lost its literary editor of
ten years after the magazine pulled a gay-themed story from its
April issue. David Leavitt's fictional story, "The Term Paper Artist,"
was pulled by Executive Editor Edward Kosner because,
according to the New York Times, the story "was said to contain
explicit homoerotic scenes and vulgar anatomical references."
Kosner is quoted as saying, "All magazines have at least three
constituencies: the readers, the advertisers and the staff. I just
thought this story was going to offend many, many people.
Advertisers were the least of it."
Not so, according to Esquire's ex-literary editor Will Blythe,
who resigned in protest after he said the story was pulled for fear
that CHRYSLER, a major advertiser in Esquire, would be offended
by the work. Additionally, Leavitt's literary agent, Andrew Wylie
charges that CHRYSLER, actually ordered the story pulled.
CHRYSLER has denied any involvement, and Kosner has denied
the story was killed because of complaints-real or perceived-by the
auto maker.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

BOOKIJST

HIV PREVENTION PROGRAM FOR OUR

Orbital, Underworld and the Chemical Brothers. Other tracks
included: David Bowie, Duran Duran, Daft Punk, Everything but
the Girl, Sneaker Pimps and Duncan Sheik.
Duncan Sheik, Duncan Sheik. This has been AB CD's best
selling CD since June of 1996. ABCDs has sold more copies than
anywhere in the nation, so says Atlantic Records. A must have
for anyone who enjoys finely crafted and performed pop music.
"Barely Breathing" is the first single. 800+ copies sold so far.

COMMUNITY
Mary Merwin
The Region 7 Community Planning Group (for HIV prevention)
has received funding for a model HIV prevention program for gay
men in our region (the northern 20-some counties in the lower
peninsula). The Group contracted with me to implement the
program region-wide, although we are starting in the Grand
Traverse area.
This model was evaluated in several midsize cities in the
Midwest (one of the few that has been looked at outside major
metropolitan areas, and the closest we can come to research with
rural populations). It was demonstrated to have a significant
reduction in risk behaviors for HIV transmission.
The project is community-based and the effects occur through
changes in perceived community norms-that is, the general norm
of our community becomes one of safer sex practices. This is
accomplished through helping community leaders increase their
skills in talking about, promoting, practicing, and supporting
behavior changes that reduce risk for HIV transmission. You will
be hearing more about this as time goes on.
The project is long term since norms don 't change overnight.
Think about how long norms regarding cigarette smoking have been
changing. However, within a year, we should have measurable
reductions in risky behaviors.
This brings me to the Gay/Bi Men's Health Survey inserted in
this issue of the newsletter. It is very important for us to gain an
accurate measure of the level of risky behaviors in our community
now in order to see whether this program is effective in reducing
risks. If you are a gay or bisexual man in Leelanau, Benzie, Grand
Traverse, Wexford, Antrim or Kalkaska county, or if you visit the
area frequently, please complete the survey and mail it back to me. If
you also wish to be entered in a drawing for prizes, complete the
name and address portion, tear it off, and mail it separately to me
(9601 N. Carlson Rd., Northport, Ml 49670) .
Thanks for helping reduce the spread of HIV in our community.

MY EXPEDITION
I want to taste
the waters of your spring
and forge through your forests
to run in your meadows
and feel safe in your valleys
I want to discover
your nether regions
to grasp and cling
and then find my way
up to your summit
I want to explore
the caves of your soul
and dream under stars
that shed Iight
on your love
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

M'Lynn Hartwell

continued from page 10

At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us these book suggestions :
After Midnight-AIDS in Hollywood: The Life and Death of my
Husband Brad Davis, by Susan Davis, $24.00. The title says it all, and
the wife tells it all.
Icebreaker: The Autobiography of Rudy Galindo, $23 .00. The
inspiring true story of the world's first openly gay figure skater- -world
bronze medalist Rudy Galindo, in his own words.
Arkansas: Three Novellas, by David Leavitt, $23 .00. Leavitt's first
fiction in a while, the excerpt in Esquire has apparently created a stir.
You know, that guy-guy stuff. As opposed long articles about
intellectual stimulation and Sharon Stone's breasts.
Life Outside: The Signorile Report On Cay Men: Sex, Love,
Family, and the Passages of Life, by Michelangelo Signorile, $2 5.00.
The Out magazine columnist investigates!
At Borders, Aimee suggested the following books:
Switch Hitters, edited by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel,
$12.95 . Lesbians write gay male erotica, gay men write lesbian
erotica ... steamy stuff!
Boy Culture, by Matthew Rettenmund, $10.95. Smart, funny,
erotic, insightful. The book, that is.
Neccessary Hunger, by Nina
Revoyr, $20.70. No, this isn't Shelley
Winters latest autobiography! It is a
lyrical account of two girls, basketball
and unrequited love. I'm assuming it's
not the basketball that's being longed for.
City of Friends, by Simon LeVay &
Elisabeth Nonas, $17 .50. Studies the
institution and communities that make
up the most culturally and ethnically
diverse minority in America today.
That would be ... us!
Borders Gay/Lesbian Literature & Studies Book Group is
discussing Man of the House by Stephen McCauley in May. The
group has had great discussions. Aimee says lots of cool people
are showing up. Come on over and help pick the book for June!
Comics North! of Cheboygan wi 11 soon be relocated at 211 N.
Main Street. In the midst of moving, David Elyea gave us these
suggestions:
Dagger of Blood by John Blackburn, $2 .95. The first part of a
three-issue mini-series featuring the adventures of Coley, a 19-yearold voodoo sex god. Voodoo, huh?
Cay Comics #24, the latest issue of the long-running and awardwinning anthology series, which features a crossover by characters
from the popular image comics and MTV series, "The Maxx. "

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

JEANETTE WINTERSON
a book review
submitted by M'Lynn Hartwell

Jeanette Winterson is on top of the world, or at least close to it.
She is on the top floor of a hotel as high as the nearby United Nations,
a fitting place for an upstart who once named herself the world's
greatest living writer.
"I trust art completely, and if art's a high wire strung from the
Chrysler Building to the Empire State Building, I will walk it, and
believe that I will notfal I," the ever-confident British author says in
support of her new novel, "Gut Symmetries."
"I love to see the young kids, under twenty, coming and saying,
"This book means so much to me." "This book changed my life."
"This book set me on track." ... And what they want is something
genuine. In a way, as people get older, they start to cut themselves off
from genuine experiences and they lose that sense of risk, that sense
of openness."
The 37-year-old Winterson will let you know such a fate is not
about to happen to her. "There's nothing dull in the world to me,"
she declares, and few have found anything dull about Jeanette
Winterson, a woman with a rock star's private life and a public
literary vision.
In the grand tradition of Oscar Wilde and Lord Byron, not to
mention Mick Jagger and Johnny Rotten (whose punk hairdo
Winterson's resembles), Winterson is both an artist and gossip item
in Britain, a legend both of her's and the media's making.
As an artist, she has attempted nothing less than to take some
3,000 years of Western civilization, from the Bible to quantum
physics, and say what has never been said before. One novel features
a character named Dog-Woman living in 17th-century London. In
another, Napoleon's cook falls in love with a Venetian boatman's
webfooted daughter.
As a public figure, Winterson is known at a level rare among
young American fiction writers. Then again, picture Susan Minot
claiming she once worked as a lesbian prostitute (in exchange for
quality cookware, no less), or Amy Tan having an affair with the wife
of Richard Ford, as Winterson did with the wife of British author Julian
Barnes.
"In every century the people who actually do the work are
passionate about the work. It's always the case that they tend to live
at a level of intensity and energy which perhaps seems unusual," said
Winterson, whose novels include "Written on the Body," "The
Passion" and "Sexing the Cherry."
Winterson's childhood, a story and a half in itself, is the basis for
her acclaimed debut novel "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit,"
published when she was in her mid-20s.
"I cannot recall a time when I did not know that I was special,"
she wrote. Born in 1959, the adoptive daughter of a Pentecostal
Evangelist couple, Wi nterson was a preacher by age twelve and by
age sixteen had been expelled from church for having an affair with
an older woman. When "Oranges" came out, her adoptive mother,
now dead, decided she was a child of the devil.

"It was a place where the Lord and the Bible were paramount,
where my mother quite rightly thought that books would lead you
astray. They do lead you astray. She was an intelligent woman; she
knew," Winterson said.
More of the Winterson legend: She was a makeup assistant at a
funeral home; she was a domestic in an insane asylum; she once
showed up at the door, in the middle of the night, of a journalist who
criticized her in print; she employs her own personal astrologer.
For those who can't be bothered to sort through it all, there are
her books. They offer as reliable a record as you wi II ever get of the
author, or at least of Winterson's mind, where, she argues, her most
daring adventures have really taken place.
"I never did feel bound by space or time," she said. "I used to
have a dream I was floating in space, and the space was composed of
past and present and future. And there were doorways from which I
could enter and exit at will."
There are plots in Winterson's novels, but a plain old narrative
tale would be duller for her than a Sunday sermon. She is essentially
a novelist of ideas: ideas about art, about sex, about history, about
science, about almost everything.
"Gut Symmetries;" her sixth novel, covers such favored
Winterson territory as triangles, both romantic and mathematical; the
mystery of identity; the personality of cities and the differing theories
of Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton.
As with nearly all of her fiction, "Gut Symmetries" is a story of
travel, in the mind and in the real world. In a typical Winterson touch,
one of the three main characters is a scientist named Jove who
lectures on "Time Travel." His lectures are given aboard the QE2,
which sails from England to New York to Los Angeles via the Panama
Canal.
"It's quite funny, because I never go anywhere. There are weeks
and weeks when I don't even step off my own land. I've got a few
acres, and I'm quite happy to stay there," said Winterson, who lives
outside of London with her partner, Peggy Reynolds.
11
And I'm not one of these people who go off to India and
Australia and China and see the world. I like to go to Europe on the
train because I'm a terrible old jaded European, because that's where
I belong, in an old continent.
11
And the trouble is my partner, who is a great traveler, often tries
to entice me by telling me stories about where we'll go, because she's
been nearly everywhere in the world. Then I start telling her stories,
because I've been there in my head."
Excerpts from "Gut Symmetries," a novel by Jeanette Winterson,
published by Alfred A. Knopf.
"It began on a boat, like "The Tempest," like "Moby Dick," a
finite enclosure of floating space, a model of the world in little. Here
is a vas hermeticum, a sealed capsule on a rough sea. This is the
alchemic vessel, resistant to change, constantly being transformed.
This is us, vulnerable, insulated, entirely self-contained yet altogether
at the mercy of the elements. The Ship of Fools is sailing tonight and
all of us are aboard."
"It was night, about a quarter to twelve, the sky divided in halves,
one cloudy, the other fair. The stars were deep recessed, not lying on
the surface of the night but hammered into it. The water, where the
JEANETTE WINTERSON

NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

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continued next page

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

country. HRC has been one of the Gill Foundation's prime
beneficiaries, and Gill himself has also become an active, treasured
member of HRC. He says Amendment 2 sparked his greater
involvement in HRC as well.
"I try to set myself up as a role model and be out as much as
possible because it shows people you can be out and be successful,"
he told HRC Quarterly. "For so many years, we've been programmed
to think that if you're out, you're going to be held back and
repressed. And that isn't necessarily true anymore."
Gill's foundation has become a leader in the nascent lesbian and
gay philanthropy movement, along with such people as music mogul
David Geffen and foundations like the Joyce Mertz-Gilmore
Foundation and the lesbian-oriented Astraea Foundation . In 1995,
the Gill Foundation gave away $1.1 miliion, 67 percent of which went
to gay and lesbian organizations, including Digital Queers, the Gay
and Lesbian Victory Foundation and HRC's foundation . In 1996, the
Gill Foundation and related entities contributed some $2 million,
including $100,000 to the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.
The foundation's philosophy is simple: To give money to gay
and lesbian causes because it is so difficult for them to tap other
philanthropic sources. "There are plenty of people who will give
money to Greenpeace .;Ind a lot of other things that I truly believe in."
Gill explained. "But there are other people who will do that, and there
aren't a lot of people who will give money to gay and lesbian causes.
There are very few mainstream foundations that will ."
Gill is working to change that. In 1996, his foundation created a
program called the OutGiving Project, whose mission is to get more
gay people involved in philanthropy. Each year, it brings together
committed philanthropists who are eager to learn how better to use

ship cutted it, was broken and white, but once the ship had
passed the water healed the intrusion and I could not see where
the black of the sky and black of the water changed into each
other. I thought of my often-dream where Time poured the fishes
into the sky and the sky was full of starfish; stella maris of the
upper air."
"Defect of vision. Do I mean affect of vision? At the beginning of
the twentieth century when Picasso, Matisse and Cezanne were
turning their faces towards a new manner of light, there was a theory
spawned by science and tad poled by certain art critics that frogmarched the picture towards the view that this new art was an optical
confusion. Nothing but a defect of vision . The painters were
astigmatic; an abnormality of the retina that unfocuses rays of light.
That was why they could not paint realistically. They could not see
that a cat is a cat is a cat."

TIM GILL:
THE MAKING OF A PHILANTHROPIST
Reprinted from the Human Rights Campaign

Tim Gill was living quietly in
Denver, running Quark Inc., the
software company he founded, when
the voters in Colorado passed
Amendment 2-the most insidiously
anti-gay state ballot initiative ever to
succeed in this country. "There's
always a triggering event in people's
lives and that was a triggering event in
my life," he recalled. "It made me realize
there was a lot more that I cou Id do for
gay and lesbian causes."
Gill, who became a millionaire after founding Quark, pledged to
give away one of his mi lfions to fight the anti-gay bias that led to
Amendment 2's passage, because he says, "You don't fight the law,
you try to change people's attitudes." He created a foundation to
carry out that goal, and now, almost five years later, Gill's foundation
has contributed more than four times his original pledge to lesbian,
gay and AIDS organizations both in Colorado and around the

Char P. Kirchner,

TIM GILL

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JUNE

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Full Service Apparel Printing

Team Uniforms..- Buttons ..- Embroidery..- Photo Items

516 E. Eighth St. Traverse City, MI.

616 ... 929 ... 3610

(616) 267-5818
-20-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

TIM GILL

continued from previous page

body positive

their generosity to work toward lesbian and gay equality.
"The purpose is not to tell people where to give money but to
give them tools to figure it out themselves," said Katherine Pease,
executive director of the foundation. "A lot of donors out there are
struggling with whether to give and if they do it, how to do it well."
Another element of the project is the Gay and Lesbian OutG ivi ng
Fund, which bundles together and earmarks donations that come
from the gay and lesbian community. "Because we all have things that
we like-whether it's Greenpeace or Ducks Unlimited or the
National Snowboarders Association," Gill says. "Those kinds of
organizations don't really necessarily know that they have a gay
constituency. And if they do, then it will change their minds."
Gill, who has lived in Colorado since the third grade, doesn't
come from a family with a history of philanthropy. "My mother did
some volunteer work but certainly nothing on this scale," he said.
"My parents are very middle class." And, he says, there really hasn't
been a downside to his being an out gay man who also happens to
run one of the most successful software companies in the world.
"We've had a small number of customers who said they wouldn't
buy from us any more, but probably a larger number of customers
who said that they would only buy our products," he said. "I think
America - at least the part of America I'm exposed to, which is hightech America - is certainly moving to this space where your sexual
orientation really is a non-issue, which is the way it should be."
For more information on the Gill Foundation, call 719-473-4455 oremail GillFound@aol.com or OutGiving@aol.com

a commentary byPeter Ian Cummings

GAY-LESBIAN READING GROUP AT
BORDER'S BOOKS
-an update by Aimee Wells

Do you like to read about issues that affect the community,
or maybe just the latest of a juicy gay or lesbian murder mystery?
Or do you like to just hang out and talk to people who do? Well
then, Borders Books & Music is the place for you!
On the last Monday of every month, the Gay & Lesbian Book
Group meets in the relaxed friendly atmosphere of Border's Cafe'
Espresso. So far there have been an average of 8-1 O people of
many different age groups and backgrounds attending, which
makes for a great exchange of ideas.
In June we will be discussing "City of Friends" by Simon
LeVay and Elisabeth Nonas. The book discusses what it means to
be gay or lesbian in America today. It seeks to help us all
understand the institutions and the communities that make up the
most culturally and ethnically diverse minority in America today.
We choose the books two months ahead, so that everyone
can get a chance to read the one that they are interested in, and all
discussion group titles are 20% off at Borders.
So, whether you have read the book or not, please come out
and join the discussion, and help choose what we will be reading
for future meetings.

When I was 14 or 15 I had a dream what gay life would be
like. Of course, I related my dream to my life at the time, and how
much better my life was going
to be once I came out.
Now, my life at 14 was
pretty typical-it consisted
mainly of repressed longing
for jocks. The longing was
named Bob, David, Paul,
Alex and Chris, and in my
dream world I would be
allowed to have one of them.
In my dream, I would be able
to love, touch and hold who
I wanted . In my dream, boys
would give me their love
freely and openly: a gift. Was
this too much to ask?
When I first cam.e out in 1985, gay life was pretty much like my
dream come true . I felt so very much freer than I had as a closet
teenager. I met lots of new people; some times we liked each other
and when we did, we had sex. None of the people I know from that
time thought the sex was meaningless. We made an emotional
connection. Sometimes it led to love. Sometimes it led to us being
really close, and I met most of my closest friends that way.
But something gradually happened, and we gave away our
right to enjoy our sexuality. It would be hard to construct a more
sex-negative bunch of people than young gay men today. Feeling
lonely? Five years ago, there was an easy solution : go out and try
to meet someone. But if you do that today, don't tell your
friends-it's considered cheap. And if you do get off with
someone, better keep it secret. Especially if you get off with too
many people. You'll get a bad reputation.
Hey-does this sound like straight kids in the '50's to you?
And by the way, who are you allowed to have sex with today
anyway? You can't have sex with anyone you know because it
would create a scandal. And you can't have sex with anyone you
don't know because it's cheap.
Some people say this new sexual repression leads to healthier
relationships. I don't think so. I don't think repression ever leads
to healthier relationships. If you said that to gay kids in the '80s
they'd have laughed you out of the room.
When I came out, gay life was great because people had sex,
and when they had sex they did it with celebration, feeling and
high style. So, I dare to ask: why should people out of long-term
relationships, be denied emotional contact with another person? I
think it's fine to reject "uncaring sex" as cheap [if you want to]but I think sex is indeed a question of caring, rather than of prissy
rejection due to community pressure.
This sex-rejection, which leads to sadness and loneliness, is
not a direction I want young gay men to go.
POSITNE

NE1WORKING 45'NORTH

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

POSITNE

continued from previous page

Unfortunately many sources are happy to encourage us in
Out Magazine recently
this cycle of repression. For example,
referred to XY as "a dubious achievement" and compared us to
the porn magazine Freshmen.
Obviously Out's position says more about Out-and the
"respectable" [read: sexually conservative] gay establishment who
make up their intended audience-than about XY. They and much of
the gay establishment are only too happy to blast anyone [read: XY]
who presents a freer and more constructive way of expressing our
sexuality.
These so-called leaders have staked their careers on the
increasing "respectability" [read: neutering] of the gay communityit earns them millions of dollars. Never mind if it leads to loneliness.
·you know what? I don't care about being
that kind of
respectable. It was never what I wanted from being gay anyway. You
know what? I think we should express our sexuality all the time and
be open about it. Please everybody: get down! Yet-and this is why
I am so upset-what hit me after reading that thing in Out was,
exactly how far my teenage dream is from "majority" gay thinking, as
represented by the Out article and the sex-negative feeling behind it.
Being gay is not about copying straight people's lifestyles. It is
about blazing a new trail and being true to ourselves in new ways. It
is about beauty, aesthetics, hot sex and love and emotions run wild.
I am tired by this unholy alliance between the gay establishment and
the straight one they are copying, which cannot tell the difference
between the meaningless sexuality represented by
Freshmen and the
integrative one represented by XY.
Gay liberation is the freedom to express our love, part of which
is the freedom to express our sex. We must not be monopolized by
this gay establishment who says you and I are somehow less
respectable because we want to integrate our sexuality with our lives.
If we repress our sexuality in the name of respectability, we become
exactly who straight people want us to be--i .e., straights.
Some people say this "toning down" of gay life is progressive,
that it heralds our acceptance into mainstream society. I call it
repression. These people simply misunderstand what being gay is.
But we can still dream. And I wish they'd shut up and get out of
our way.
Peter Ian Cummings is the editory of XY Magazine
($5.95 at Borders Books

THE LAMBDA UPDATE
HAWAll MARRIAGE BREAKTHROUGH:
ONLY THE BEGINNING
by Evan Wolfson
On December 3, 1996, we won, and won big. Hawaii Circuit
Court Judge Kevin Chang ruled that the government had failed to

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

show a single compelling or even logical reason for denying lesbian
and gay couples the freedom to marry. The historic victory in our
Baehr v. Miike trial marks the first time that a court has declared
that gay love and gay families are entitled to full and complete
equality.
While there is much more we must do now, we should savor
the power of this moment. In the clear, cool, dispassionate light of
a courtroom, a highly respected judge looked at all the arguments
and evidence put forward for sex discrimination in marriage, and
found that none held up. By contrast, and despite the state's
attempts to prove otherwise, the court concluded that all evidence
shows that gay people make good parents; our children are
growing up healthy and well-adjusted; our relationships are as
committed and loving as those of non-gay people; and we share
the same mix of reasons for wanting and needing the freedom to
marry as our non-gay brothers and sisters.
Perhaps most important, Judge Chang observed that ending sex
discrimination in marriage would harm no one, would take nothing
away from non-gay couples or children, and would help same-sex
couples, our children and loved ones, and, indeed, society itself. Far
from being an attack on marriage, Judge Chang concluded, allowing
gay people the freedom to marry would strengthen that institution
and benefit families. So what comes next? This historic decision
stands, while, as predicted, the actual order requiring issuance of
marriage licenses is on hold during the state's appeal. Lambda's cocounsel, Dan Foley of Honolulu, and I now will litigate this case in the
state supreme court. We expect a final decision by early 1998.
Meanwhile, for those who are asking: "what should I be doing to help
in 1997?" there are three critical tasks:
First, help beat back the backlash, by defeating the Christian
Coalition's anti-marriage bills in the state legislatures. Backlash '97
will be fierce and furious; our enemies know how close we are to
transforming our position in society.
Second, help Hawaii. The anti-gay, anti-marriage groups are
plotting attempts to strangle our case in its cradle by flooding Hawaii
with money and hate.
enlist non-gay allies. What we
Third, do your part personally to
must do, and what our enemies don't want us to do, is continue the
dialogue on marriage, changing the vocabulary with which society talks
about us. Chant my mantra ("there is no marriage without
engagement'') and, well, go out and engage non-gay people to support
our f~eedom to marry. Allies like NOW, the ACLU, PFLAG, and
religious voices in several mainstream denominations have signed the
Marriage Resolution and have joined us in the struggle. Now it is up to
each one of us, gay or non-gay, to go and ask others, group by group,
person by person. Don't just read this ... please go and do it!
1996 was the year we fully began the national conversation
on gay families and our freedom to marry; now, 1997 must be the
year that we clinch the deal with the persuadable non-gay public,
the "movable middle" not yet with us, but reachable.
Hawaii's state motto is "The life of the land is perpetuated by
righteousness." Here, throughout our land, all people have the
chance to be righteous. In Hawaii and the other 49 states, let's beat
back backlash '97 and fight onward to full victory.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

POSITIVE

continued from previous page

Unfortunately many sources are happy to encourage us in
this cycle of repression. For example,
Out Magazine recently
referred to XV as "a dubious achievement" and compared us to
the porn magazine Freshmen.
Obviously Out's position says more about Out-and the
"respectable" [read: sexually conservative] gay establishment who
make up their intended audience-than about XV. They and much of
the gay establishment are only too happy to blast anyone [read: XY]
who presents a freer and more constructive way of expressing our
sexuality.
These so-called leaders have staked their careers on the
increasing "respectability" [read: neutering] of the gay communityit earns them millions of dollars. Never mind if it leads to loneliness.
·vou know what? I don't care about being
that kind of
respectable. It was never what I wanted from being gay anyway. You
know what? I think we should express our sexuality all the time and
be open about it. Please everybody: get down! Yet-and this is why
I am so upset-what hit me after reading that thing in Out was,
exactly how far my teenage dream is from "majority" gay thinking, as
represented by the Out article and the sex-negative feeling behind it.
Being gay is not about copying straight people's lifestyles. It is
about blazing a new trail and being true to ourselves in new ways. It
is about beauty, aesthetics, hot sex and love and emotions run wild .
I am tired by this unholy alliance between the gay establishment and
the straight one they are copying, which cannot tell the difference
between the meaningless sexuality represented by
Freshmen and the
integrative one represented by XV.
Gay liberation is the freedom to express our love, part of which
is the freedom to express our sex. We must not be monopolized by
this gay establishment who says you and I are somehow less
respectable because we want to integrate our sexuality with our Iives.
If we repress our sexuality in the name of respectability, we become
exactly who straight people want us to be--i.e., straights.
Some people say this "toning down" of gay life is progressive,
that it heralds our acceptance into mainstream society. I call it
repression. These people simply misunderstand what being gay is.
But we can still dream. And I wish they'd shut up and get out of
our way.
Peter Ian Cummings is the editory of XY Magazine
($5.95 at Borders Books

THE LAMBDA UPDATE
HAWAll MARRIAGE BREAKTHROUGH:
ONLY THE BEGINNING
by Evan Wolfson
On December 3, 1996, we won, and won big. Hawaii Circuit
Court Judge Kevin Chang ruled that the government had failed to

NfIWORKING 45°NORTH

show a single compelling or even logical reason for denying lesbian
and gay couples the freedom to marry. The historic victory in our
Baehr v. Miike trial marks the first time that a court has declared
that gay love and gay families are entitled to full and complete
equality.
While there is much more we must do now, we should savor
the power of this moment. In the clear, cool, dispassionate light of
a courtroom, a highly respected judge looked at all the arguments
and evidence put forward for sex discrimination in marriage, and
found that none held up. By contrast, and despite the state's
attempts to prove otherwise, the court concluded that all evidence
shows that gay people make good parents; our children are
growing up healthy and well-adjusted; our relationships are as
committed and loving as those of non-gay people; and we share
the same mix of reasons for wanting and needing the freedom to
marry as our non-gay brothers and sisters.
Perhaps most important, Judge Chang observed that ending sex
discrimination in marriage would harm no one, would take nothing
away from non-gay couples or children, and would help same-sex
couples, our children and loved ones, and, indeed, society itself. Far
from being an attack on marriage, Judge Chang concluded, allowing
gay people the freedom to marry would strengthen that institution
and benefit families. So what comes next? This historic decision
stands, while, as predicted, the actual order requiring issuance of
marriage licenses is on hold during the state's appeal. Lambda's cocounsel, Dan Foley of Honolulu, and I now will litigate this case in the
state supreme court. We expect a final decision by early 1998.
Meanwhile, for those who are asking: "what should I be doing to help
in 1997?" there are three critical tasks:
First, help beat back the backlash, by defeating the Christian
Coalition's anti-marriage bills in the state legislatures. Backlash '97
will be fierce and furious; our enemies know how close we are to
transforming our position in society.
Second, help Hawaii. The anti-gay, anti-marriage groups are
plotting attempts to strangle our case in its cradle by flooding Hawaii
with money and hate.
enlist non-gay allies. What we
Third, do your part personally to
must do, and what our enemies don't want us to do, is continue the
dialogue on marriage, changing the vocabulary with which society talks
about us. Chant my mantra ("there is no marriage without
engagement'') and, wel I, go out and engage non-gay people to support
our f~eedom to marry. Allies like NOW, the ACLU, PFLAG, and
religious voices in several mainstream denominations have signed the
Marriage Resolution and have joined us in the struggle. Now it is up to
each one of us, gay or non-gay, to go and ask others, group by group,
person by person. Don't just read this ... please go and do it!
1996 was the year we fully began the national conversation
on gay families and our freedom to marry; now, 1997 must be the
year that we clinch the deal with the persuadable non-gay public,
the "movable middle" not yet with us, but reachable.
Hawaii's state motto is "The life of the land is perpetuated by
righteousness." Here, throughout our land, all people have the
chance to be righteous. In Hawaii and the other 49 states, let's beat
back backlash '97 and fight onward to full victory.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Network. Additionally, PlanetOut provides news to Yahoo! and is
available from Netscape's Destinations page.
PlanetOut, founded in
August 1995, develops and
operates a worldwide, online
community of gay, lesbian, bi
and trans people and their
families and friends.
Based in San Francisco,
California,
in
the
US,
PlanetOut has 20 staff and
over 100 volunteers in 10
countries. PlanetOut is visited
by over 300,000 unique
people per month.
PlanetOut has won three
NetGuide magazine awards,
Best Independent Content
Provider from the Microsoft Network, and has received
nominations for a Webby Award, an AOL People's Choice award
and a GLAAD media award.

OUT MAGAZINE AND PLANETOUT AGREE
TO PROVIDE HOME FOR FORMER OUT.COM
MEMBERS
NEW YORK/SAN FRANCISCO-Out Magazine, America's
best-selling gay and lesbian magazine, and PlanetOut, the number
one gay and lesbian online service agreed to work together to
provide a home for the members of Out's website, which closed
lin March.
Under the agreement, Out Magazine will license the Out.com
address to point Out.com members to PlanetOut. Additionally,
Out Magazine and PlanetOut online service will co-market each
other's brands.
"Out is delighted to begin a relationship with PlanetOut to
provide a home for our Out.com members. As we focus on being
the largest and most successful gay and lesbian magazine, we are
confident that PlanetOut's
online community will offer
our Out.com customers the
services and information they
need," said Henry Scott, Out
Pub I ish i ng president.
"We have great respect
for Out Magazine's people,
editorial, and the way they
blazed the path for other gay
and lesbian businesses. We
look forward to serving
Out.com customers," said
Tom Rielly, President and
CEO of PlanetOut.
immediately,
Effective
www.out.com will point to www.planetout.com, where visitors
will see a "welcome, Out.com members" logo on PlanetOut's
home page. Out Magazine closed their site last week to focus on
their magazine. PlanetOut will respond to Out.com customer
inquiries.
Out Magazine will run advertising for PlanetOut, and
PlanetOut's advertising Out magazine and hosting a Out.com
subscription site. The first ad will appear in March on PlanetOut,
and with the May issue of Out Magazine, available the first week
in April.
To subscribe to Out Magazine, please call 1-800-792- 2760.
For a PlanetOut starter kit, call 1-800-719-6611.
Out Publishing, Inc., based in New York City, has 25 employees.
Founded in 1992, Out Magazine's circulation is 120,000 people per
issue.
Out is America's best-selling gay and lesbian publication. With
the latest and most authoritative coverage of news, culture, health,
fashion, and entertainment, it is the leading source of information
for the gay community.
PlanetOut is available at www.planetout.com on the World
Wide Web, at Keyword: PlanetOut on America Online, and at
Community Forums: Lesbian & Gay Forum, on the Microsoft
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

BEN MADDY: A BOARD MEMBER BIO
Joseph Kau-Be-Naw

Benjamin Maddy has been my friend for years, and a few days
ago he asked me to write a biography on him, so here it is. Ben
grew up in the Traverse City area and graduated from high school
at the Interlachen Arts Academy as a Theatre Major. After
graduation he moved to Chicago. He worked as a manager at a
local Italian restaurant, he also co-founded the group Generation
Q. He moved back to the TC area last December and soon
afterwords was elected to the Friends North board, he is currently
working on putting together the Gay-la Prom, and of course there
will be other projects in the future.
None of these things though really tell you who Ben is. He is fun
to be around, ecclectic, fascinating, interesting, thought provoking,
and exasperating (sometimes). He reminds me of that silly pink rabbit
in those awful commercials, you can't seem to stop him, he keeps on
going. And I hope Ben keeps on going, and influencing others by his
emple, to take pride in themselves and our community. I am glad that
I have been given a chance to get to know him.

1997 ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY PROGRAM
PICKUP DATES
Wednesday July 16, 1997
Wednesday September 24, 1997
Please help Friends North clean their mile of highway
on M-72 in Williamsburg.
Meet at 5:30 pm at the theaters in Acme.
For info call Alec 275-2294

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

DYKE SPARKS CONTROVERSY

CHRYSLER AND LESBIANS/GAYS
by Ron G. Woods
and The Campaign For Equal Rights At Chrysler

CHRYSLER HAS:
• Dropped corporate sponsorship of Ellen for her coming
out show ..
• Allowed severe harassment of gay/lesbian/bi/trans
employees in facilities.
• Reportedly threatened to pull all advertising from
Esquire Magazine if they published an excerpt by gay
author David Leavitt because of gay content, which led
to the resignation of the literary editor of Esquire
Magazine in protest. (Source: GLAAD).
• Refused the demand of the Canadian Auto Workers
(CAW) to add domestic partnership benefits to the
contract for gays/lesbians. CAW President Buzz
Hargrove said in the October 23, 1996 issue of the Los
Angeles times that "macho" Chrysler Executives were
not ready for that, even though General Motors of
Canada accepted the demand.

ALEXANDRIA, Va. - For nearly two years, the license plate "2
DYKES" Alice Deighan and her partner chose sparked only minor
problems. They had obscenities shouted at them once and Ms.
Deighan received a hate letter at work.
More recently, the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles
canceled the plate after a motorist complained. The women, who
are lesbians, received a form letter saying, "this license plate was
issued to you in error because it can be interpreted in a way which
would make it obscene, profane or vulgar."
Ms. Deighan, 34, and Scout, her 31-year-old partner who
changed her legal name to the single word, disagree.
"What they are objecting to is us proclaiming that we are
lesbians," Scout said Monday.
The two women said they are considering a court challenge. In
the meantime, they have applied for a different plate: "LESBIAN."

POEM3.KIM
Your hands were like butterfly wings,
setting me free.
Your touch was a special gift,
given only to me.
Your arms were my safety net,
catching my fall.
You protected me,
little one and all.

• Refused United Auto Workers (UAW) contract demand
to add "sexual orientation" to the existing nondiscrimination policy.
• Failed to post their new "Standards of Conduct" in
faci I ities
• Not yet given official status to the glbt employee group

Now you have the wings
bestowed to only a few.
Floating above my head
is how I see you.
Keeping watch over
me in my need.
Safely, surely
completing your deed.

• Not yet announced their promised diversity training
program
• Provides sexual harassment training to new hires only,
even though contract says training is for everyone

{Ron G. Woods can be reached at MichRook@aol.com
/810-545-7699)

Michele Mashburn

FRIENDS NORTH, INC., P.O. Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49685-0562

YES, I want to be a supporting member of the Friends North Organization
D Single: $15.00
D Couple: $25.00 (includes one-year newsletter subscription)
I am enclosing an additional:
D 10.00
D 20.00
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and I would like to see this used for:
D Newsletter
□ Where needed D Education Fund
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Total Enclosed

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Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
DI am New to the mailing list. DI am already on mailing list. D Note my new address.
D Please remove me from your mailing list.
The F/N mailing list is confidential and our mailings come in an unmarked envelope.

NETWORKING 45°NORTH

-24-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

STRAIGHTS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!

9. "You've never had a good experience w/1. a man 2.
a
woman." a zebra. that's about how pertinent that question is.

Chris Convissor
Okay. That's a generalization, but we can agree some people
have such a narrow scope. For example when four women (two
couples in our world) appeared for tee time last fall, our starter
Huh?
winked knowingly, "Dumped the guys for an afternoon, eh?"
And, of course, we all know straights that we just forget are
straight. They're part of the fold, we're all part of something bigger
and beyond the terms . .. but for those instances when typica I reality
hits I've made a few notations. I bet you've heard plenty others. If you
think of them, jot them down. Send them to me via Friends North. I'd
like to add them to The List:

10. "Why do you feel a need to show your affection in public?"
Oh I don't know, why does Arnold Schwarzenegger hold
Maria Shriver's hand anyway?
11 . "Aren't you afraid of getting AIDS?" Just a teensy bit of denial
here on how fast AIDS is spreading in the hetero society.
12. "It's not in The Bible."
pork, either. Next.

13. "It's not natural." It's natural to me.
14. "Animals don't do it. Then explain spooge dog to me. My male
dog being danced upon by my mother's male dog., like all day.
It's more than a dominance thing.

The List: Straights say the darndest things!
1. "That's okay for you, but I'm not."
outlook.

The totally self-absorbed

2. "I know this gay in Chicago. Maybe you know him ."
And I know everyone of the 300,000 in Atlanta too.

15. "Those relationships never last." Speaks the sexuality with a
50% divorce rate. This the old 'damned if you do, damned if
you don't' routine. They don't want us to have gay marriage
and then accuse us of having short-term relationships. Despite
this, I am privileged to know several couples celebrating, 30,
35, 40 and more years together successfully. No, we're not
encouraged to put our anniversaries in the paper, but we don 't
need the trivial to keep us together.

Yah .

3. This is not so much said . A straight man or woman coming
onto you at social events, despite the fact you've been in a
monogamous relationship for years. If you' re gay obviously
they know they're irresistible to you and everyone knows gay
people screw at the drop of a het.

16. "Do you think there are any other lesbians or gays up here
besides you?" You've never been to Lake Ann, have you?

4. "Why do you recruit?" I've never understood this one. I don 't
recruit. I wouldn 't know what recruiting was if I hadn' t met a
Jehovah 's Witness or a " concerned" heterosexual.

17. "Lesbians hate men." Depends on the man.
18. "What about the Gay Agenda?" What's scheduling brunch
have to do with anything? I think the "Cay agenda " is a
convenient 'hate term' created by bigots. No one's ever asked
me what my agenda is and don't assume you know it either.

5. "Aren't you going to miss having children?" and "What are you
going to do when you're older?" No, unlike many unthinking
heterosexuals I chose not to have children, I didn't just have
them inadvertently. In addition please refer to Rosie or Melissa
Ethridge's life. And one final note: You don 't have children to
hedge against loneliness later in life.

19. "Why do you want special rights?" My special rights are: to get
beat up, fired, Jose my family, lose my living space, be kicked
out of the Church, military, any club I might want to belong to,
I have no hospital visitation right with my significant other, no
coverage under each other's insurance. These are all special
rights reserved only for us. You can have them.

6. The inevitable " But what do you do?" The same thing you do
but one of us doesn't fake the orgasm. (I give all due credit for
this answer to Susan Westenhoeffer.)
7. "How did you know?"

How did you know?

8. "Why can ' t you just change back?"
can't.

Bay

Business
•
Services
Inc.

Yeah and you're not supposed to eat

20. "It's probably just a phase."
yours.

The same reason you

Let me know when you 're out of

21. "You don't look, act, speak like one."

Neither do you.

22. "You' re the first one I've ever met." Look around. You've never
been to the post office, the museum, the grocery, the
mechanic, the builder, and you don ' t have any relatives
whatsoever.

Office: (616) 941-5748

ANDREW L. MITCHELL

Accounting & Tax Service

I do have to end with a personal anecdote. While travelling in a
motorhome for a year and half, CJ and I were able to stay with my
godmother in Fresno for a week. A great time spent with many long
lost relatives. One of her grandchildren came home with a cute story .
"Grandma! I learned a new meaning for gay. It can mean happy!"
Only in California, where they read the story, "The Gay Bunny." Of
course she already knew from her exposure to CJ and me that
being lesbian/gay often means happy too.

810-B South Garfield Ave • Traverse City, Ml 49686
NETWORKING 45°NORTH

-2 5-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

814-B S. Garfield• Traverse City, MI 49686

services - at least qualitatively - on the hate crime beat. In a twopart feature for "Austin Chronicle" (March 14-20), for example, staff
writer Amy Smith examines both the general problem of hate crime
and a specific anti-gay killing. In her second feature, the article's
headline ("A Gay Man's Search for Sex Ends in His Murder") and
subhead ("Dangerous Liaisons") foreshadow an unfortunate slant one that is common in both the mainstream and alternative press. The
reporter's good intentions give way to a biased emphasis on the
murder victim's "risky" behavior.
Specifically, Smith focuses on "pick-up encounters," in which gay
men have "sex with strangers." She treats "cruising" almost as if it were
a co-factor in hate crime. The suggestion, that such encounters are a
particularly fertile medium for violence, is not backed up by any hard
data - at least not in Smith's article.
Too easily missed in such coverage is that, in regard to any hate
crime, the VICTIM'S behavior is essentially irrelevant. This point is well
made by Guy Trebay, in one of the better columns generated by the
NCAVP survey ("Village Voice," March 18).
Trebay challenges a remark made by Janet Reno, who - in
commenting on the recent rise in hate crime - had said that "federal
hate crime statutes do
not now permit us to prosecute offenses motivated by a victim's sexual
orientation." "It's probably worth noting ... the oddly reflexive bias of
the attorney general's own formulation," Trebay points out. "Can
victims really be said to 'motivate' hate crime? Isn't irrational hatred the
cause of that?"
Perhaps because of such "oddly reflexive" bias, the "riddle" of antigay violence has remained just that. Expounding a measure of evasion
in lieu of prevention, "solutions" for hate crime are continuously vexed
in their reflection of the media's deference to homophobia.
It is far less effective, but apparently more acceptable, to reduce
the risk of hate violence by changing homosexual behaviors (advising
gay men to avoid "pick-up encounters," for example) instead of
changing homophobic beliefs. Absent any diagnosis of homophobia by
the press, hate crimes are treated essentially as symptoms of
homosexuality!
By way of remedy, the mainstream media could expand their
coverage of hate crime, to include a sustained and direct interrogation
of homophobia. Hate crime statistics might be reported with reference
to hate groups. The coverage of annual surveys, in particular, begs for
an examination of homophobes and homophobia- the "who," "what"
AND "why" that link these disparate acts as crimes of hate.
While career homophobes are so often quoted for "balance" in
ANY gay-related story, they are typically left OUT of articles on antigay violence. The omission is ironic. This might be the one story in
which anti-gay spokespersons DO play an integral part-whether they
admit it or not. Comments on the media's current coverage of hate
violence, and suggestions for improvements in the future, should be
sent to: Associated Press, 50 Rockefeller Plaza, 5th Floor, New York,
NY 10020-1666, tel. 212-621-1600, fax 212-621-1500 or 212-6217520, e-mail rgersh@ap.org; United Press International, 1400 I Street
NW, Washington, DC 20005, fax 202-898-8057 or 202-898-8133.
Amy Smith, Assistant Editor for Politics,

Res: 616-275-2502 • Office 616-933-4424

The Triangle Foundation is a member of the NCA VP.

LEARNING TO TELL CRIME
by MED/Alert!

NCAVP 1997 REPORTS NOT WELL COVERED BY MEDIA.
Most of the major news media carried reports of the latest "gay
bashing" survey, conducted by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence
Programs (NCAVP). Indicating a significant rise in violence against gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people, the new survey also
prompted a number of local reports-tracking incidents of hate crime
in several of the 14 cities surveyed by NCAVP.
Despite some improvement, the recent coverage of hate crime is
warped by an old, salacious spin. Again, national and local reporters
skirted the vital connections between hate violence and organized
homophobia. Even individual homophobes are oddly missing from
many news reports, which have tended to dwell more on the VICTIM'S
behavior (and much less on the VICTIMIZER'S).
Victims might not be blamed, outright, any longer- but they are
implicated nevertheless. Typical of this subtle bias of "homophobe
omission" is the NCAVP coverage from United Press International
(March 11 ), which reports that: "Violent crimes against gay
communities caused 867 injuries or deaths nationwide .... " Literally, of
course, violent CRIMINALS (i.e., homophobes) were the immediate
cause. Yet neither the word "homophobe" nor "homophobia" appear
-anywhere-in UPl'sstory.
The UPI report does use the phrases "gaybashing" and
"gaybashers," however. While common parlance among gays, these
terms can prove misleading in the mainstream press.
A style guide developed by the Seattle chapter of the National
Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association advises journalists to avoid the
term "gay bash ." As NLGJA explains: "The choice is complex, because
while the term focuses on assaults on gays and lesbians, its overuse may
also minimalize them. 'Bashing' has become synonymous with light
verbal jabs, such as 'lawyer bashing."'
Even the most war-like violence against homosexuals - like
blowing them up - still evokes vague and narrow assessments of
homophobic hate. In covering the recent bombing of a lesbian club in
Atlanta, for instance, the Associated Press (February 23) reported: "The
mayor met with gay and lesbian activists Sunday and ordered extra
police protection for nightclubs frequented by homosexuals." Again, a
subtle bias emerges. The AP did not report, as it could have, that
homosexual venues required extra protection FROM HOMOPHOBES.
Not surprisingly, the alternative press has edged out the wire

c5uzelle

Garb.ii,

G£iropraclor

Activator Method (low force technique)
and gentle manual adjusting
•

NElWORKING 45°NORTH

Massage Therapy
Holistic Health & Wellness Educator

-2 6-

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

Property of the Center

GAY FOUNDATION SUES STATE REPRESENTATIVE
TRIANGLE FOUNDATION TO CONTEST LIES BY REPUBLICAN
(DETROIT, MICHIGAN/ 28 FEBRUARY 1997) -THE
TRIANGLE FOUNDATION, a Detroit-based gay/lesbian antiviolence organization filed a six-count complaint against STATE
REPRESENTATIVE DEBORAH WHYMAN in Wayne County Circuit
Court (case number 97-706203 NZ) today. The suit alleges several
instances of libel, slander and defamation.
"Lies and intentional misinformation about gays and lesbians
must be challenged whenever they are published," said Jeffrey
Montgomery, President of the Triangle Foundation. "It is especially
important to hold public officials accountable when they engage in
the intentional distortion of facts and truth . They need to be held to a
higher standard of integrity and responsibility."

PROGRESS AT

TEXACO!
by Henry Messer of the Triangle Foundation

After much pressure to improve diversity, the current Annual
Report ofTexaco states:
"We also moved quickly to build on the substantial progress
made in recent years at Texaco in creating a more open and inclusive
workplace. In December, we announced the accelerated
development of our workforce diversity programs and our economic
outreach efforts to minority- and women-owned businesses.
"Our company is pursuing these initiatives for two simple
reasons. First- and most important- because they are the right thing
to do. They reflect the most fundamental value of our company :
respect for the individual. Within Texaco we are totally committed
to this core value, and it is the number-one leadership standard for
our management team. Respect means something else as well: zero
tolerance for discrimination, whether it is motivated by racism, antiSemitism or intolerance of any religion, sexual preference, disability,
gender or age."
Texaco is joining the new corporate standard of workplace
environments for the next millennium. They need to learn that sexual
orientation is not a "preference," but they have certainly made great
progress.
You can congratulate them:
RICHARD F. BRENNER, PRES.
Human Resources Division
TEXACO
2000 WESTCH ESTER A VE
WHITE PLAINS NY 10650
brennrf@texaco.com
and remind them that sexuality is not a "preference."

NETWORKING 45'NORTH

An unusual joint letter was released to the media today [10
March] from the Family Research Council, Concerned Women for
America, American Family Association and Coral Ridge Ministries.
Radical right leader Beverly LaHaye also went on Christian "talk
radio" today to blast American Airlines because "American' s
sponsorship of homosexual 'pride' events constitutes an open
endorsement of promiscuous homosexuality." She and the others
have written CEO Bob Crandall at American to complain that the
airline has "gone beyond mere tolerance" for gays and lesbians. [The
full article appears in today's Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and possibly
picked up by other newspapers around the country.]
American Airlines is a major sponsor to and supporter of groups
like GLAAD, the Human Rights Campaign, the Gay and Lesbian
Victory Fund, AIDS Action Foundation, DIFFA, AmFAR, and scores
of community-based groups representing gays and lesbians. It is also
the first airline to adopt a written non-discrimination policy covering
sexual orientation in its employment practices, and it is well
represented by the leadership of its gay and lesbian employee group,
GLEAM. For these pioneering efforts, and its marketing and sales
outreach to the gay and lesbian traveler, American has become the
next bullseye for hard-hitting, anti-gay corporate attacks.
THE RESULT: American's switchboard and e-mails are being
bombarded now by homophobic and hateful callers who have been
urged by LaHaye and others to demand the company terminate its
gay-friendly policies.
Please write American Airlines and let them know that you
support their work with the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
community.
Contact: Robert L. Crandall, President, American Airlines, P.O.
Box 619612, MD 2400 DFW Airport, TX 75261-9612, phone:
817.967.2000, fax: 817.967.2000,
e-mai I: webmaster@amrcorp.com.
Joining American Airlines in supporting the 1997 GLAAD Media
Awards are these other corporate sponsors:
A&E Network, ABC Television, Absolut, Air France, Alfred Dunhill,
American Express,
AT & T, Capitol Records, Castle Rock
Entertainment, CBS Entertainment, Chase Manhattan Bank,
CompuServe - Pride Media, Donna Karan, Doubleday Books,
Dreamworks SKG, Dutton Books, Eastman Kodak Company, Geffen
Records, GTE, Gucci, Harper Collins, Home Box Office, House of
Seagram, Hyatt Regency, IBM, Ikea, Joe Boxer, Kenneth Cole,
Landmark Theatre Corp., Latham & Watkins, Mediapolis, Inc.,
Mellon Private Asset Management, M~-Goldwyn-Mayer, Miller
Brewing Company, Miramax Films, Mistie Beverages, MTV
Networks, NBC, Inc., Neiman-Marcus, Neutrogena, Pacific Bell,
Paramount Pictures, Penguin, USA, People Weekly Magazine, Philip
Morris Companies, Inc., See's Candies, Showtime Networks, Inc.,
Simon & Schuster, Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, LLP, Sony
Pictures Entertainment, The Gap, The Walt Disney Company,
Ticketmaster, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., Twentieth Century
Fox Television, United Artists, Universal Studios, Vintage Books,
Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Records, Warner Brothers, Wells
Fargo Bank

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 3 • MAY/JUNE/JULY 1997

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STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES

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LOCAL SPIRITUAL:

Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) . . . .. ...... . 800-347-HATE
Michigan Wellness Networks . .... ..... . .. . .. .... . . . . 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .. .. . . . ... .... .... 800-347-TEEN

STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL I POLITICAL/ MEDIA

Rev. Geraldine Colvin & Rev. David Florence
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City .... ... ... 616-932-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ... . ... . . 616-223-7999

LOCAL COUNSELING:

The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 . .. . . .... 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 50729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . .... ... .. ... . 616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . ... . ..... .... . 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . . . . ... . ..... ......... . .... . . . 810-398-7105
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affirmations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 . . ....... . ... .... 517-332-3200
e-mail . . .... ... . .. ..... .... . ... .... . .. . . . lahr@macatawa.org
Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... . . . ... . ... . 517-371-5257
Triangle Foundation {Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit 48219 . . ..... . .. ... 313-537-3323
... ... ... . .... .. . ... . ... .. . ....... ... .... Fax: 313-537-3379
email .. .. . .. . . ..... ........... . . .. . .. . ...... trijeffm@aol.com
Between The Lines (newspaper/monthly) . ..... .. .. . . . . . 810-615-7003
33528 Eight Mile, Ste. 185A3, Livonia, Ml 48152 .. . FAX 810-615-7018
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
The Third Coast (magazine/monthly) .. ..... ........... 616-451-4903
1322 Hurd, SE, Grand Rapids 49506 ... ....... .. FAX 616-451-0915
e-mail .. . . .... . .. . ........ ..... . ........ lllrdCoasst@aol.com

NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .... 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 ..... . .. . . ... 212-807-1700
...... . . ... . . . ....... ....... .. . . ... . ..... Fax: 212-807-1806
email . . . .... .......... .... . . . .. .. . ........ glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ..... . . .. . .. .. ... 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . ..... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund .. . ... . 212-809-8585 x 205
120 Wall St., NY, NY 10005 ......... .. ..... ... Fax: 212-890-0055
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 . ....... . . 415-621-067 4
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ... . . .. 202-628-4160
...... ...... . . .... . .. .. . .. . . .... ... . ... .. Fax: 202-347-5323
e-mail . . .. . . . . . ........ . . . ... . . . . .. .... .. . . www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
101214th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-842-7679

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Third Level Crisis Intervention, . . ...... . ........ .. .... 616-922-4800
1022 E. Front St., TC, Ml 49686 .. ... .. . ....... . and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center .. . .. . .... . . ... . .... . . .... 616-941 -1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD .. .. .. ... .. .... ........... .. . 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) .. .. .... ... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ... . ...... ........... . . . ..... . 616-947-0511
David Blisk (Maple City) .. . . . . ... . . ... .. . . ......... . 616-228-5105
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHt ..... ... . .. . . . . ..... . 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD ... .. ... ... . ... ......... .. 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .... . .. .... . ... 616-439-0656
William D. Gould, MA {Gladwin) .. . .... ... . .. ......... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center . . .. . . .. . 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ..... ... . . . .... . .. . . ... 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW .. .... . .. . . . . .. . . .... . . . 906-635-9263
Lois Martindale, Ph.D. , Benzonia . . . . .. ....... ........ 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City ..... . . . .. 929-1315 or 800-686-0749

LOCAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) ..... .. . . . .... .. . .... . 616-946-1804
Common Voices - F/N Rap Group . . . .. ... . .... .... ... Ed - 947-4697
. . .. . ....... .... . ............ ..... ..... . . . . Tom - 275-6127
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location & time ... .. . ... ..... . . . . 616-922-4800
or . . . ........ . ... ... ... .... ........ .. .. . .... .. 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nite Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. . .. .... 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC . . .. John 616-922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City, POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 . Cindy 616-271 -5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network)
PO Box 9, Traverse, Ml 49685 .. . .... . ... . ... .. ... . 616-943-5050
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill ..... .. 616-938-1333

LOCAL HIV/ AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks, GTA, Inc., . . . . . . .... .. . .. 616-947-1110
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 .. . . ....... 1-800-494-1160
Business Office . ....... . . . .. . . .. . .. . . ......... . . 616-933-0279
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks - HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group ..... ... .. 616-947-1110
Thomas Judd Care Center, 1211 W Front St., Traverse City,
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist . .... . . .. . 616-935-8140
David Rushlow, ACSW Social Worker ........ . .. .. .. 616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) ..... . . .. . . . 1-800-248-6777
Community Health Clinic .. . ..... ...... .. ....... . ... . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
Northern Michigan Planned Parenthood ........ . .. . . . . . 616-929-1844
(anonymous counseling & testing)
Grand Traverse County Health Department . .. .. .. ... . . . 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Emmet County Health Department (Petoskey) .. .... .. ... 616-347-6014
Also call the District Health Department in your area