extracted text

HERLAND VOICE
Oc.tober

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

1-001-

Ta~e a

t\i~e!

(or

t~o

1-0,

Number

10

or three...)

October is the month to enjoy a walk in the cool crisp fall air with the
swirl of brightly hued leaves and the smell of woodsmoke
about .....and there are several fun events planned this month to keep
us out in the open air with friends -

~aturda1.

Volume

Oc.tober 12- - -- Her\and's Hit'£ is

just for fun...

It will be led by Jane Powell, an accomplished
hiker who has covered the length of the Continental Divide, the
Pacific Crest Trail, and most of the Appalachian Trail.
We will meet at Herland at 9:00 a.m., and carpool to Travertine
Nature Center at Chickasaw National Recreation Area in the City of
Sulphur (less than two hours travel time); or you can get there on
your own without carpooling. The Hiking will be approximately five
miles of well-groomed trails in scenic woods, past gushing springs,
along Travertine and Rock Creeks, up Bromide Hill, and around
Bison Pasture. It is mostly easy, with some moderately strenuous
hiking.
Other possible walks at the Recreation Area: 1. A more rugged and
remote 4.4 mile walk to Lake of the Arbuckles. 2. A lovely paved
and accessible 2.8 mile walk around Veterans Lake.
What to bring: Water bottle, sack lunch, trail snack, rain jacket,
s•mgl:tsses, sun5creen, sturdy, comfortable shoes or boots. Optional :
Bring empty jugs and fill up with the best tasting sulphur water in the
state! For more information contact Jane Powell, 521-9815 or
luckystarjane@ cs .com.

~aturda1, Oc.tober 5 - \Zac.e for the C.ure
The Komen Central Oklahoma Race for the Cure® will be held on
Saturday, October 5, 2002 at the SBC Bricktown Ballpark in
Oklahoma City. They expect a record-setting 16,000 participants this
year.
Race-day registration begins at 7:30 a.m.; the pre-race ceremony at
8:30, and the co-ed 5k Run/Walk steps off at 9: 15. The 1 Mile Fun
Run/Walk begins at 9:30, and the Children's Dash at 10:30.
Pre-registration - $18 for the run/walks, $10 for the Kid ' s Dash - is
available at 50 Penn Place, on Level R2 across from Harolds. You
must have a Race Number to participate.
For more info, see
www.okckomen.com
~unda1, Oc.tober (, - - - - l\ID~ Wah~
Gather at the Oklahoma City Myriad Botanical Gardens Sunday
afternoon. Registration and entertainment begin at 12:30 p.m. and
opening ceremonies begin at 2 p.m. This is a fun and exciting
opportunity for Oklahomans to get out and support HIV I AIDS
nonprofit organizations in the Oklahoma City metro area. The
afternoon will kick-off with live entertainment followed by a one-mile
walk through beautiful downtown Okl ahoma City and Bricktown. For
more information about supporting the AIDS Walk and organizing a
Walk team, go to the Walk 's website at www.aidswalkokc.org

.Llerland 6upper Club
The October 6upper Club will meet Friday,
October 18. at .Llerland at 6:45 pm
for Pizza and tv1ovies.
6oft drinks and other refreshments
will be provided.
Following our supper.
we will settle in for
Llerland's tv1ovie Night.
Three documentaries: will be shown:
tlne Fine Oay, \lt.tes &r IVt.men.
G Lesbian Ttlngues: Lesbians TaLk abt?ut Life.
LPve and .5ex

C.ome Out, C.ome Out, Wherever You Are
October 11 is Coming Out Day. Are you Out? All the way?
Congratulat!ons! L!fe !s s0 much richer a.~d me re relaxed ·.vhen ·.,ve
are. If you are still lingering in the closet; if you still really believe it
will kill Grandma; if you know that it might cost you your job - if you
just cannot come out this October 11, set yourself this alternate task:
spend the day, as much as possible, imagining, imaging, how
wonderful it would be if all glbt folk came out. You know, for
instance, Barney Frank, Jim Kolbe, and Tammy Baldwin are not the
only glbt congresspersons in Washington - there are 535 Senators and
Congresspersons - do the math. How wonderful would it be if the
others came out?!
David Kopay & Roy Simmons were not the only
gay players in the NFL - Martina not the only tennis star, Rosie not
the only media star - how great would it be if all the others came out?!
It would only transform the lives of us more ordinary queer folk. It
would, I wager, slash the teenage suicide rate. And as individuals, our
own coming out does the same thing on a nuclear-family-size scale.
How much easier it would have been for us if our uncles and aunts
had softened the family up by their own openness .. .... . It's a
beneficial cycle we really need to be a part of, and the nice thing is it
benefits us as much as anyone else. Good luck.

Wom'fn of C.o\or C.e\ebrate
On October 13, 2002 Womyn of Color, an Oklahoma City based
Lesbian support group will be celebrating their one year anniversary.
In an effort to show unification with all Lesbians of our area we are
inviting you to join us at Herland at 4:00 p.m. that day.
We will meet at Herland and from there we will go to Golden Corral
located at 6161 N. May Avenue for dinner. Everyone is invited to
help us celebrate this joyous occasion . We would appreciate your
support. If you have any questions or want information about our
organization please feel free to email us at womynofcolor@gay.com
or call 405/842-3464 or 405/947-7691 .

..,..,..,.herland&i&ter&.or9
t\erland 'f>i&ter !4&ourc.e&. 1-?11- NW ?If. Ol::lahoma C.it~. 01( 1?111£mail u& at herland&i&ter&@c.o'f..net Vi&it u& during our bool::&tore hour&, 'f>aturda~&.

4o?-?1-1-'lv%•
I -

? p.m.

'5aint '5~bi\ presents: G.uest feminists

'5ou\forGe - The

Yes, Readers, there are feminists out there. You ' ve been writing,
bless you. Our thanks and warm appreciation go out to this month's
Guest Feminist, Rebecca Howard, who writes:
Feminism is not solely about equal pay for equal work, universal
childcare, or creating safe streets after dark. These are the products of
feminism, but they are not feminism . Rather, feminism is a spiritual
path chosen by individuals who value people of all genders, abilities,
ethnicities, and ages. ls this the history of feminism? Was the
women's movement of the I 960's homophobic, white, and middleclass? Absolutely. But at the core of feminism is a belief that women,
children, and the domestic sphere are essential to the existence of
civilization. Feminism is about men sharing household chores,
diapering babies, nurturing toddlers, and creating environments of
peace and safety as much as it is about women making executive
decisions, becoming senators, and running Fortune 500 companies.
Feminism is not the switching of gender roles, but the annihilation of
roles that are determined by anatomy all together, so that any
individual may realize her or his full potential.

Church are bearing fruit. The congregation and new minister are
finding it hard to resist the gentle vigilers standing steadfast in
freezing cold, scorching heat, and pouring rain. If you would like to
join them and participate in the vigil on Sunday, October 6, email
Info@SoulforcelnOklahoma.org or call 405/ 524-2292.

One fine Da~ -

Herland Movie Night, Friday October 18 at

7 pm,
We will watch two very short films: one honoring the
Suffragists and the celebratory "One Fine Day"; followed by a longer
documentary, "Lesbian Tongues: Lesbians Talk About Life, Love and
Sex", featuring interviews with, among others, JoAnn Loulan, Joan
Nestle, Jewelle Gomez and Minnie Bruce Pratt. There is no charge
for the movies and refreshments, but Supper Clubbers will chip in for
the pizza; and donations will be cheerfully accepted.

Our '5paGe for tz..e.nt -

Herland ' s space is available to lease

on most weekdays and evenings; $15 per meeting, $50 a month for
weekly meetings . If you are interested in using our space, please call
Diane at 52 i-9696; and ask about possible sliding rates.

C.on9ratu\ations to l'fLAG. of Norman, and their
Chapter leader Kay Holladay, who have been chosen PFLAG Chapter
of the Month for their work with the "Our House to the Schoolhouse"
campaign. Facing the challenge of reaching out to students in schools
where personnel are not permitted to provide information about
homosexuality, they have championed the cause of safe schools,
conducted assessments, and met with school board members.
Contact them at (405) 360-4497.

free C.onGert - - - -

To Benefit the Oklahoma Coalition

Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
October 11, 2002 at the Myriad Botanical Gardens, Water Stage, 69 pm. Featuring: Local Hero , Son Del Barrio, Alma Latina, Ollie
Nathan, Mat/hew Atkinson Ojibway Traditional Native Flute; and
Mary Lee ' s Corvette. For more information call 405/848-1815.

\-\eartfe\t Than\::s - - To Pam and Chris of Leaf It To Us - for the great Fundraiser they
gave for Herland. It was a lovely musical afternoon in a charming
indoor garden: and raised equal parts of fun , funds , and goodwill.
Thank you Pam and Chris!
The Voice is published by: Herland Sister Resources , Inc. 23 !2 NW 39'h,
Oklahoma City, OK 73 l 12. The Voice is offered as an open forum for
community discourse. Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not
necessarily those of Herland Sister Resources . Unsolicited articles and
letters to the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer with full
name and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed under a
pseudonym or anonymously. Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon
request although a donation is requested to meet publication and
distribution costs.

.P1 .P.P

relentless efforts of Soulforce at Village Baptist

The MusiG '5Gene

.P1 .P

By Jill Garner
Cheryl Wheeler and Kate Campbell - Blue Door, October 26'h
I thought this month I was going to write about all the
reasons you should go hear Kate Cambell at the Blue Door on
October 26'h. But, now the night is even sweeter with the recent
addition of Cheryl Wheeler to the bill. I'm a little floored because the
two of them are capable ofa great show all by themselves. I own all
their CDs, I've seen them both several times in concert, and I hope
they both continue to make music for a long time because they ' re
amazingly talented. They're both great songwriters, and even better,
awesome singers. To have both of them play in one night is definitely
a show no music lover should miss.
I've seen Kate Campbell several times at the Blue Door and
each time her beautiful voice, thought-provoking lyrics, and her
southern accent make me swoon. While religious references and
themes can be found throughout her songs, her style and philosophical
openness make her music completely accessible to religious and nonreligious alike. As Campbell said in an interview I read, "I just see
things and think, 'That's a story that's got to be told."'
Campbell grew up in the south, the daughter of a prominent Baptist
preacher, and that experience, growing up during a time of racial
unrest, and her master's degree in southern history all influence her
music. Her latest CD, Wandering Strange, is a collection of hymns
and gospel songs, some of which she wrote herself. "10,000 Lures",
dealing with struggles of temptation, and_"Bear it Away", about the
1963 bombing of the Birmingham Baptist Church where four girls
were killed are two of her own.
Campbell has five CDs to her name now, with songs stretching the
gamut from heart-wrenching such as "Crazy in Alabama" and
"Perfect World" to light-hearted like "Funeral Food" and "Jesus and
Tomatoes". Campbell, in an interview with Ethics magazine, said, "I
was driving through North Carolina one day and I came across a sign
that read 'Jesus and Tomatoes Coming Soon. It was a great
illustration of the place of religion in the South."
Cheryl Wheeler for years has been one of my very favorite
singers/songwriters. She can have you laughing during one song and
wiping tears from your eyes the next. She tells wonderful moving
stories in her songs but can also write cutting satires of culture and
politics.
Her songwriting skills are undeniable, and based on the number of
singers who have recorded songs by Wheeler, it's obvious her talent is
gaining notice. Suzy Boggus has recorded a number of Wheeler' s
songs, most notably "Aces", a hit for her, but also " Moonlight and
Roses" and "Don't Wanna". "Addicted" gave Dan Seals a hit, Kathy
Mattea covered " Further and Further Away", and Chris Raines (a.k.a.
Garth Brooks) sang parts of "!flt Were Up to Me" on his CD.
Wheeler's voice is gorgeous, her songwriting talent immense, and
she'll be right here in OKC in October. For the price of one, there
will be two extremely talented women in a small intimate space to
sing their songs. For your sake, and so they ' ll keep coming to
Oklahoma, please don 't miss it. If you don't want to take my word for
it, find their music on the internet and listen for yourself.
The show on October 26'h starts at 9:00 and tickets are $20 and can
be purchased at the door. If you ' ve never been to the Blue Door, then
take whatever you want to drink with you in a small ice chest because
no drinks are sold at the concert. If you're concerned about smoke,
don't be because it's a non-smoking venue and the focus is all on the
music. See you there!

P..nd More Muf>iG....... .
)'
Friday, October 11 , 6 pm, Free Concert at the Myriad
Botanical Gardens, Water Stage, to benefit OCADVSA
)'
Saturday, October 12: The Sisters of Swing at Galileo's, 9 to
midnight, $5 .
)'
Sunday, October 13: Mary Catherine Reynolds at the
River's Edge, Tulsa, 2:30 - 5:30; that's just north of the 21st street
bridge on Riverside Drive.
)'
Tuesday, October 22: Louise Goldberg & Mary Reynolds at
Galileo's. 8-11 , no cover.
)'
Saturday, October 26: Cheryl Wheeler and Kate Campbell
at the Blue Door - see the advance review on the facing page.
)'
Sunday, October 29: Mary Catherine Reynolds at the
River's Edge again, 2:30 - 5:30.
Attention all you other Oklahoma songbirds & musicians: if
)'
you would like your gigs to be listed here, email Roadiechick at
mocox1@cox.net, and she' ll put it in.

'$AV£ iH£ DAI£'$
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

November 15 - 24 ; OUT OK Film Festival (see article below).
Saturday, November 9: Mary Reynolds at Java Dave's.
Friday November 15, SNU Varsity/Alumni <:;' <:;' <:;' Basketball.
Tuesday, November 19th: Louise & Mary@ Galileo's, 8-11.
Friday, December 6th: Therapy Sisters at the Blue Door.
Sunday, December 15th: most likely date for the Sisters of
Swing Christmas show.
Tuesday, December 17th: Louise & Mary at Galileo's, 8-11.

OUT Ot( Fi\m Fe&tiva\
OUT OK proudly announces two GALA films for The Oklahoma
Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival. Join us in Oklahoma
City (Norman) and Tulsa for the premiere of MARGARET CHO'S
NOTORIOUS C.H.O. and DIRK SHAFER'S CIRCUIT. We are
honored to present the highly anticipated works of these two gay
icons.
Following the demise of her controversial and groundbreaking sit-com, "All-American Girl" , Margaret .achieved national
notoriety with her hilarious and uncompromising concert, film, and
best-selling book "I'm The One That I Want". NOTORIOUS C.H.O.
is the one that you want. Come and see why the GLBT community
has warmly embraced this comedienne-extraordinaire. Laugh Track
Not Needed!
Dirk Shafer is a born and bred gay Oklahoman. Dirk has turned his
story of beauty and deception into the successful documentary, "Man
of the Year". His latest directorial effort focuses on the circuit party
scene. Come and bear witness to this international gay phenomenon.
Disco Ball Included!
GALA Tickets - (Guaranteed seating to all films and all GALA
films) - $20..
GALA After-party Tickets - Guaranteed entrance
to all GALA After-parties - $20.
VIP ALL ACCESS PASS Oklahoma City (Norman) $120, Tulsa $150.
You may pre-purchase your GALA tickets and your VIP ALL
ACCESS PASS through <www.out-ok.com> or telephone Philip Au
at 918-682-4654 ext. 2.
DATES & VENUES: Norman - November 15, 16, 17 (Film and Gay
Cinema Conference), Meacham Auditorium.
Tulsa - November 22, 23, 24, Supersaver Theatre (31st & Sheridan)
Please mark these dates on your OUT OK docket.
SEE YOU IN THE DARK!

Naming the Vio\enGe:
Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering.

Edited by Kerry Lobe/for
the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Lesbian Task Force

Denying that violence exists in the lesbian community is like Bill
Clinton denying he had ' sex with that woman ' . Violence in same sex

relationships is not a question of semantics, it is a reality. Those of us
in Oklahoma City have witnessed first hand too many sisters hurt or
dead at the hands of their lovers to dismiss it as ' playing rough. '
Anger, stress, depression, job worries and substance/alcohol abuse do
not cause violence. Violence is a choice the abuser makes. Abusers
are so insecure they use threats and violence to force their lover to
stay: " I can't live without you." (also means "you may not live
without me.") "I don ' t believe you were at the store at 2:30. Show me
the receipt." (time management) "If you leave me, I' m calling your
boss, (or your family), and telling you ' re a lesbian"(emotional
blackmail). Then there is the apology: "Baby, I didn ' t want to hit you,
but. .. " and fill in the excuse of choice: " ... but I was drunk," or " .. . but
you knew that would make me mad," or .. . " but I love you so much I
couldn 't stand the thought of your leaving and you make me crazy."
Note the failure to accept responsibility for her behavior: it's just not
her fault she is abusive.
In the beginning, abuse begins very subtly and is difficult to detect.
It frequently starts with verbal assaults, accusations of flirting or being
unfaithful. A little jealousy in the first blush of a relationship might
even seem like a neat thing- a special thing. But the reality of having a
jealous lover can be something else entirely. Extremely jealous lovers
want to control time, who it's spent with, and when, and the end result
is isolation: isolation from friends, family, and other couples.
An Abuser doesn ' t accept responsibility for her behavior, blaming
her partner instead, and the tragedy is the abused partner frequently
blames herself. She will often feel that if she were just "better" the
abuse would stop . If she was just more loving, more patient, more
understanding : if, if, if.
And it is difficult to talk about to friends because the friends may be
mutual, and dissing a partner is bad form; besides, what if she does
change like she said she would? What if the friends didn't believe
her? What if they told her lover what she said? Where is help when
you need it?
Help can be a phone call away. There is DVV AP (Domestic
Violence Victims Assistance Program) at (405) 297-2881. DVV AP
can help you file a VPO (Victim Protective Order). In Oklahoma, the
language in the law is gender neutral, so someone in a same sex
relationship can get this level of protection. There is the Battered
Women's Shelter hotline: ( 405) 917-9922. The hotline can offer
information for getting out of the house safely and can also provide
emergency housing at the shelter. These hotlines can make referrals to
other services in Oklahoma County and throughout the state. They can
also provide numbers for emergency services in other states as well.
There is no charge for counseling at the YWCA, and the number is
947-4506.
The Internet offers a wealth of information, links and phone
numbers. Some frequently visited sites are: www.4woman.gov ,
www .nwnetwork.org and www/ncadv.org
National Coalition
Against Domestic Violence. There are many more sites and not time
nor space to list them.
" ... Bruises do not become metaphors, poems don't heal a thing."
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Genuinely loving
relationships are partnerships in the truest sense of the word, filled
with love and trust. If you are in an abusive relationship, call for help.
Call now.
'$a~& '$he C.an't
When your lover beats you
When your lover beats you
When your lover beats you

When '$he

\ive Without YOU-

Bruises do not
become metaphors
poems don ' t
heal a thing.

Sarah. March 1982

-

-

------- ---------~

Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Pennit No. 861

Address Service Requested

Supperit

REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.

Supperiters
Julia Irwin, M.D., P.C.
Psychiatrist

Clinical Psychology
405/321-2148
Box 5119
Norman, Okla. 73070

Individual - Couples
Family Therapy, Retreats

Doctor's Park
500 East Robinson, Suite 600
Norman, OK 73071
(405) 321-3719

Young ·
and Older Adults

Lea& 'Jt 7a Ual

\'Jebiite of the tttonth

7k~~~t

300 1t. 7de{tluute .<>oad, ~. ~-:<:::
(405) til2-f724
~.~.~

www .msmagaz1ne.com

~~.~



HERLAND VOICE
Oc.tober

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

1-001-

Ta~e a

t\i~e!

(or

t~o

1-0,

Number

10

or three...)

October is the month to enjoy a walk in the cool crisp fall air with the
swirl of brightly hued leaves and the smell of woodsmoke
about .....and there are several fun events planned this month to keep
us out in the open air with friends -

~aturda1.

Volume

Oc.tober 12- - -- Her\and's Hit'£ is

just for fun...

It will be led by Jane Powell, an accomplished
hiker who has covered the length of the Continental Divide, the
Pacific Crest Trail, and most of the Appalachian Trail.
We will meet at Herland at 9:00 a.m., and carpool to Travertine
Nature Center at Chickasaw National Recreation Area in the City of
Sulphur (less than two hours travel time); or you can get there on
your own without carpooling. The Hiking will be approximately five
miles of well-groomed trails in scenic woods, past gushing springs,
along Travertine and Rock Creeks, up Bromide Hill, and around
Bison Pasture. It is mostly easy, with some moderately strenuous
hiking.
Other possible walks at the Recreation Area: 1. A more rugged and
remote 4.4 mile walk to Lake of the Arbuckles. 2. A lovely paved
and accessible 2.8 mile walk around Veterans Lake.
What to bring: Water bottle, sack lunch, trail snack, rain jacket,
s•mgl:tsses, sun5creen, sturdy, comfortable shoes or boots. Optional :
Bring empty jugs and fill up with the best tasting sulphur water in the
state! For more information contact Jane Powell, 521-9815 or
luckystarjane@ cs .com.

~aturda1, Oc.tober 5 - \Zac.e for the C.ure
The Komen Central Oklahoma Race for the Cure® will be held on
Saturday, October 5, 2002 at the SBC Bricktown Ballpark in
Oklahoma City. They expect a record-setting 16,000 participants this
year.
Race-day registration begins at 7:30 a.m.; the pre-race ceremony at
8:30, and the co-ed 5k Run/Walk steps off at 9: 15. The 1 Mile Fun
Run/Walk begins at 9:30, and the Children's Dash at 10:30.
Pre-registration - $18 for the run/walks, $10 for the Kid ' s Dash - is
available at 50 Penn Place, on Level R2 across from Harolds. You
must have a Race Number to participate.
For more info, see
www.okckomen.com
~unda1, Oc.tober (, - - - - l\ID~ Wah~
Gather at the Oklahoma City Myriad Botanical Gardens Sunday
afternoon. Registration and entertainment begin at 12:30 p.m. and
opening ceremonies begin at 2 p.m. This is a fun and exciting
opportunity for Oklahomans to get out and support HIV I AIDS
nonprofit organizations in the Oklahoma City metro area. The
afternoon will kick-off with live entertainment followed by a one-mile
walk through beautiful downtown Okl ahoma City and Bricktown. For
more information about supporting the AIDS Walk and organizing a
Walk team, go to the Walk 's website at www.aidswalkokc.org

.Llerland 6upper Club
The October 6upper Club will meet Friday,
October 18. at .Llerland at 6:45 pm
for Pizza and tv1ovies.
6oft drinks and other refreshments
will be provided.
Following our supper.
we will settle in for
Llerland's tv1ovie Night.
Three documentaries: will be shown:
tlne Fine Oay, \lt.tes &r IVt.men.
G Lesbian Ttlngues: Lesbians TaLk abt?ut Life.
LPve and .5ex

C.ome Out, C.ome Out, Wherever You Are
October 11 is Coming Out Day. Are you Out? All the way?
Congratulat!ons! L!fe !s s0 much richer a.~d me re relaxed ·.vhen ·.,ve
are. If you are still lingering in the closet; if you still really believe it
will kill Grandma; if you know that it might cost you your job - if you
just cannot come out this October 11, set yourself this alternate task:
spend the day, as much as possible, imagining, imaging, how
wonderful it would be if all glbt folk came out. You know, for
instance, Barney Frank, Jim Kolbe, and Tammy Baldwin are not the
only glbt congresspersons in Washington - there are 535 Senators and
Congresspersons - do the math. How wonderful would it be if the
others came out?!
David Kopay & Roy Simmons were not the only
gay players in the NFL - Martina not the only tennis star, Rosie not
the only media star - how great would it be if all the others came out?!
It would only transform the lives of us more ordinary queer folk. It
would, I wager, slash the teenage suicide rate. And as individuals, our
own coming out does the same thing on a nuclear-family-size scale.
How much easier it would have been for us if our uncles and aunts
had softened the family up by their own openness .. .... . It's a
beneficial cycle we really need to be a part of, and the nice thing is it
benefits us as much as anyone else. Good luck.

Wom'fn of C.o\or C.e\ebrate
On October 13, 2002 Womyn of Color, an Oklahoma City based
Lesbian support group will be celebrating their one year anniversary.
In an effort to show unification with all Lesbians of our area we are
inviting you to join us at Herland at 4:00 p.m. that day.
We will meet at Herland and from there we will go to Golden Corral
located at 6161 N. May Avenue for dinner. Everyone is invited to
help us celebrate this joyous occasion . We would appreciate your
support. If you have any questions or want information about our
organization please feel free to email us at womynofcolor@gay.com
or call 405/842-3464 or 405/947-7691 .

..,..,..,.herland&i&ter&.or9
t\erland 'f>i&ter !4&ourc.e&. 1-?11- NW ?If. Ol::lahoma C.it~. 01( 1?111£mail u& at herland&i&ter&@c.o'f..net Vi&it u& during our bool::&tore hour&, 'f>aturda~&.

4o?-?1-1-'lv%•
I -

? p.m.

'5aint '5~bi\ presents: G.uest feminists

'5ou\forGe - The

Yes, Readers, there are feminists out there. You ' ve been writing,
bless you. Our thanks and warm appreciation go out to this month's
Guest Feminist, Rebecca Howard, who writes:
Feminism is not solely about equal pay for equal work, universal
childcare, or creating safe streets after dark. These are the products of
feminism, but they are not feminism . Rather, feminism is a spiritual
path chosen by individuals who value people of all genders, abilities,
ethnicities, and ages. ls this the history of feminism? Was the
women's movement of the I 960's homophobic, white, and middleclass? Absolutely. But at the core of feminism is a belief that women,
children, and the domestic sphere are essential to the existence of
civilization. Feminism is about men sharing household chores,
diapering babies, nurturing toddlers, and creating environments of
peace and safety as much as it is about women making executive
decisions, becoming senators, and running Fortune 500 companies.
Feminism is not the switching of gender roles, but the annihilation of
roles that are determined by anatomy all together, so that any
individual may realize her or his full potential.

Church are bearing fruit. The congregation and new minister are
finding it hard to resist the gentle vigilers standing steadfast in
freezing cold, scorching heat, and pouring rain. If you would like to
join them and participate in the vigil on Sunday, October 6, email
Info@SoulforcelnOklahoma.org or call 405/ 524-2292.

One fine Da~ -

Herland Movie Night, Friday October 18 at

7 pm,
We will watch two very short films: one honoring the
Suffragists and the celebratory "One Fine Day"; followed by a longer
documentary, "Lesbian Tongues: Lesbians Talk About Life, Love and
Sex", featuring interviews with, among others, JoAnn Loulan, Joan
Nestle, Jewelle Gomez and Minnie Bruce Pratt. There is no charge
for the movies and refreshments, but Supper Clubbers will chip in for
the pizza; and donations will be cheerfully accepted.

Our '5paGe for tz..e.nt -

Herland ' s space is available to lease

on most weekdays and evenings; $15 per meeting, $50 a month for
weekly meetings . If you are interested in using our space, please call
Diane at 52 i-9696; and ask about possible sliding rates.

C.on9ratu\ations to l'fLAG. of Norman, and their
Chapter leader Kay Holladay, who have been chosen PFLAG Chapter
of the Month for their work with the "Our House to the Schoolhouse"
campaign. Facing the challenge of reaching out to students in schools
where personnel are not permitted to provide information about
homosexuality, they have championed the cause of safe schools,
conducted assessments, and met with school board members.
Contact them at (405) 360-4497.

free C.onGert - - - -

To Benefit the Oklahoma Coalition

Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
October 11, 2002 at the Myriad Botanical Gardens, Water Stage, 69 pm. Featuring: Local Hero , Son Del Barrio, Alma Latina, Ollie
Nathan, Mat/hew Atkinson Ojibway Traditional Native Flute; and
Mary Lee ' s Corvette. For more information call 405/848-1815.

\-\eartfe\t Than\::s - - To Pam and Chris of Leaf It To Us - for the great Fundraiser they
gave for Herland. It was a lovely musical afternoon in a charming
indoor garden: and raised equal parts of fun , funds , and goodwill.
Thank you Pam and Chris!
The Voice is published by: Herland Sister Resources , Inc. 23 !2 NW 39'h,
Oklahoma City, OK 73 l 12. The Voice is offered as an open forum for
community discourse. Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not
necessarily those of Herland Sister Resources . Unsolicited articles and
letters to the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer with full
name and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed under a
pseudonym or anonymously. Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon
request although a donation is requested to meet publication and
distribution costs.

.P1 .P.P

relentless efforts of Soulforce at Village Baptist

The MusiG '5Gene

.P1 .P

By Jill Garner
Cheryl Wheeler and Kate Campbell - Blue Door, October 26'h
I thought this month I was going to write about all the
reasons you should go hear Kate Cambell at the Blue Door on
October 26'h. But, now the night is even sweeter with the recent
addition of Cheryl Wheeler to the bill. I'm a little floored because the
two of them are capable ofa great show all by themselves. I own all
their CDs, I've seen them both several times in concert, and I hope
they both continue to make music for a long time because they ' re
amazingly talented. They're both great songwriters, and even better,
awesome singers. To have both of them play in one night is definitely
a show no music lover should miss.
I've seen Kate Campbell several times at the Blue Door and
each time her beautiful voice, thought-provoking lyrics, and her
southern accent make me swoon. While religious references and
themes can be found throughout her songs, her style and philosophical
openness make her music completely accessible to religious and nonreligious alike. As Campbell said in an interview I read, "I just see
things and think, 'That's a story that's got to be told."'
Campbell grew up in the south, the daughter of a prominent Baptist
preacher, and that experience, growing up during a time of racial
unrest, and her master's degree in southern history all influence her
music. Her latest CD, Wandering Strange, is a collection of hymns
and gospel songs, some of which she wrote herself. "10,000 Lures",
dealing with struggles of temptation, and_"Bear it Away", about the
1963 bombing of the Birmingham Baptist Church where four girls
were killed are two of her own.
Campbell has five CDs to her name now, with songs stretching the
gamut from heart-wrenching such as "Crazy in Alabama" and
"Perfect World" to light-hearted like "Funeral Food" and "Jesus and
Tomatoes". Campbell, in an interview with Ethics magazine, said, "I
was driving through North Carolina one day and I came across a sign
that read 'Jesus and Tomatoes Coming Soon. It was a great
illustration of the place of religion in the South."
Cheryl Wheeler for years has been one of my very favorite
singers/songwriters. She can have you laughing during one song and
wiping tears from your eyes the next. She tells wonderful moving
stories in her songs but can also write cutting satires of culture and
politics.
Her songwriting skills are undeniable, and based on the number of
singers who have recorded songs by Wheeler, it's obvious her talent is
gaining notice. Suzy Boggus has recorded a number of Wheeler' s
songs, most notably "Aces", a hit for her, but also " Moonlight and
Roses" and "Don't Wanna". "Addicted" gave Dan Seals a hit, Kathy
Mattea covered " Further and Further Away", and Chris Raines (a.k.a.
Garth Brooks) sang parts of "!flt Were Up to Me" on his CD.
Wheeler's voice is gorgeous, her songwriting talent immense, and
she'll be right here in OKC in October. For the price of one, there
will be two extremely talented women in a small intimate space to
sing their songs. For your sake, and so they ' ll keep coming to
Oklahoma, please don 't miss it. If you don't want to take my word for
it, find their music on the internet and listen for yourself.
The show on October 26'h starts at 9:00 and tickets are $20 and can
be purchased at the door. If you ' ve never been to the Blue Door, then
take whatever you want to drink with you in a small ice chest because
no drinks are sold at the concert. If you're concerned about smoke,
don't be because it's a non-smoking venue and the focus is all on the
music. See you there!

P..nd More Muf>iG....... .
)'
Friday, October 11 , 6 pm, Free Concert at the Myriad
Botanical Gardens, Water Stage, to benefit OCADVSA
)'
Saturday, October 12: The Sisters of Swing at Galileo's, 9 to
midnight, $5 .
)'
Sunday, October 13: Mary Catherine Reynolds at the
River's Edge, Tulsa, 2:30 - 5:30; that's just north of the 21st street
bridge on Riverside Drive.
)'
Tuesday, October 22: Louise Goldberg & Mary Reynolds at
Galileo's. 8-11 , no cover.
)'
Saturday, October 26: Cheryl Wheeler and Kate Campbell
at the Blue Door - see the advance review on the facing page.
)'
Sunday, October 29: Mary Catherine Reynolds at the
River's Edge again, 2:30 - 5:30.
Attention all you other Oklahoma songbirds & musicians: if
)'
you would like your gigs to be listed here, email Roadiechick at
mocox1@cox.net, and she' ll put it in.

'$AV£ iH£ DAI£'$
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

November 15 - 24 ; OUT OK Film Festival (see article below).
Saturday, November 9: Mary Reynolds at Java Dave's.
Friday November 15, SNU Varsity/Alumni <:;' <:;' <:;' Basketball.
Tuesday, November 19th: Louise & Mary@ Galileo's, 8-11.
Friday, December 6th: Therapy Sisters at the Blue Door.
Sunday, December 15th: most likely date for the Sisters of
Swing Christmas show.
Tuesday, December 17th: Louise & Mary at Galileo's, 8-11.

OUT Ot( Fi\m Fe&tiva\
OUT OK proudly announces two GALA films for The Oklahoma
Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival. Join us in Oklahoma
City (Norman) and Tulsa for the premiere of MARGARET CHO'S
NOTORIOUS C.H.O. and DIRK SHAFER'S CIRCUIT. We are
honored to present the highly anticipated works of these two gay
icons.
Following the demise of her controversial and groundbreaking sit-com, "All-American Girl" , Margaret .achieved national
notoriety with her hilarious and uncompromising concert, film, and
best-selling book "I'm The One That I Want". NOTORIOUS C.H.O.
is the one that you want. Come and see why the GLBT community
has warmly embraced this comedienne-extraordinaire. Laugh Track
Not Needed!
Dirk Shafer is a born and bred gay Oklahoman. Dirk has turned his
story of beauty and deception into the successful documentary, "Man
of the Year". His latest directorial effort focuses on the circuit party
scene. Come and bear witness to this international gay phenomenon.
Disco Ball Included!
GALA Tickets - (Guaranteed seating to all films and all GALA
films) - $20..
GALA After-party Tickets - Guaranteed entrance
to all GALA After-parties - $20.
VIP ALL ACCESS PASS Oklahoma City (Norman) $120, Tulsa $150.
You may pre-purchase your GALA tickets and your VIP ALL
ACCESS PASS through <www.out-ok.com> or telephone Philip Au
at 918-682-4654 ext. 2.
DATES & VENUES: Norman - November 15, 16, 17 (Film and Gay
Cinema Conference), Meacham Auditorium.
Tulsa - November 22, 23, 24, Supersaver Theatre (31st & Sheridan)
Please mark these dates on your OUT OK docket.
SEE YOU IN THE DARK!

Naming the Vio\enGe:
Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering.

Edited by Kerry Lobe/for
the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Lesbian Task Force

Denying that violence exists in the lesbian community is like Bill
Clinton denying he had ' sex with that woman ' . Violence in same sex

relationships is not a question of semantics, it is a reality. Those of us
in Oklahoma City have witnessed first hand too many sisters hurt or
dead at the hands of their lovers to dismiss it as ' playing rough. '
Anger, stress, depression, job worries and substance/alcohol abuse do
not cause violence. Violence is a choice the abuser makes. Abusers
are so insecure they use threats and violence to force their lover to
stay: " I can't live without you." (also means "you may not live
without me.") "I don ' t believe you were at the store at 2:30. Show me
the receipt." (time management) "If you leave me, I' m calling your
boss, (or your family), and telling you ' re a lesbian"(emotional
blackmail). Then there is the apology: "Baby, I didn ' t want to hit you,
but. .. " and fill in the excuse of choice: " ... but I was drunk," or " .. . but
you knew that would make me mad," or .. . " but I love you so much I
couldn 't stand the thought of your leaving and you make me crazy."
Note the failure to accept responsibility for her behavior: it's just not
her fault she is abusive.
In the beginning, abuse begins very subtly and is difficult to detect.
It frequently starts with verbal assaults, accusations of flirting or being
unfaithful. A little jealousy in the first blush of a relationship might
even seem like a neat thing- a special thing. But the reality of having a
jealous lover can be something else entirely. Extremely jealous lovers
want to control time, who it's spent with, and when, and the end result
is isolation: isolation from friends, family, and other couples.
An Abuser doesn ' t accept responsibility for her behavior, blaming
her partner instead, and the tragedy is the abused partner frequently
blames herself. She will often feel that if she were just "better" the
abuse would stop . If she was just more loving, more patient, more
understanding : if, if, if.
And it is difficult to talk about to friends because the friends may be
mutual, and dissing a partner is bad form; besides, what if she does
change like she said she would? What if the friends didn't believe
her? What if they told her lover what she said? Where is help when
you need it?
Help can be a phone call away. There is DVV AP (Domestic
Violence Victims Assistance Program) at (405) 297-2881. DVV AP
can help you file a VPO (Victim Protective Order). In Oklahoma, the
language in the law is gender neutral, so someone in a same sex
relationship can get this level of protection. There is the Battered
Women's Shelter hotline: ( 405) 917-9922. The hotline can offer
information for getting out of the house safely and can also provide
emergency housing at the shelter. These hotlines can make referrals to
other services in Oklahoma County and throughout the state. They can
also provide numbers for emergency services in other states as well.
There is no charge for counseling at the YWCA, and the number is
947-4506.
The Internet offers a wealth of information, links and phone
numbers. Some frequently visited sites are: www.4woman.gov ,
www .nwnetwork.org and www/ncadv.org
National Coalition
Against Domestic Violence. There are many more sites and not time
nor space to list them.
" ... Bruises do not become metaphors, poems don't heal a thing."
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Genuinely loving
relationships are partnerships in the truest sense of the word, filled
with love and trust. If you are in an abusive relationship, call for help.
Call now.
'$a~& '$he C.an't
When your lover beats you
When your lover beats you
When your lover beats you

When '$he

\ive Without YOU-

Bruises do not
become metaphors
poems don ' t
heal a thing.

Sarah. March 1982

-

-

------- ---------~

Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Pennit No. 861

Address Service Requested

Supperit

REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.

Supperiters
Julia Irwin, M.D., P.C.
Psychiatrist

Clinical Psychology
405/321-2148
Box 5119
Norman, Okla. 73070

Individual - Couples
Family Therapy, Retreats

Doctor's Park
500 East Robinson, Suite 600
Norman, OK 73071
(405) 321-3719

Young ·
and Older Adults

Lea& 'Jt 7a Ual

\'Jebiite of the tttonth

7k~~~t

300 1t. 7de{tluute .<>oad, ~. ~-:<:::
(405) til2-f724
~.~.~

www .msmagaz1ne.com

~~.~



HERLAND VOICE
Oc.tober

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

1-001-

Ta~e a

t\i~e!

(or

t~o

1-0,

Number

10

or three...)

October is the month to enjoy a walk in the cool crisp fall air with the
swirl of brightly hued leaves and the smell of woodsmoke
about .....and there are several fun events planned this month to keep
us out in the open air with friends -

~aturda1.

Volume

Oc.tober 12- - -- Her\and's Hit'£ is

just for fun...

It will be led by Jane Powell, an accomplished
hiker who has covered the length of the Continental Divide, the
Pacific Crest Trail, and most of the Appalachian Trail.
We will meet at Herland at 9:00 a.m., and carpool to Travertine
Nature Center at Chickasaw National Recreation Area in the City of
Sulphur (less than two hours travel time); or you can get there on
your own without carpooling. The Hiking will be approximately five
miles of well-groomed trails in scenic woods, past gushing springs,
along Travertine and Rock Creeks, up Bromide Hill, and around
Bison Pasture. It is mostly easy, with some moderately strenuous
hiking.
Other possible walks at the Recreation Area: 1. A more rugged and
remote 4.4 mile walk to Lake of the Arbuckles. 2. A lovely paved
and accessible 2.8 mile walk around Veterans Lake.
What to bring: Water bottle, sack lunch, trail snack, rain jacket,
s•mgl:tsses, sun5creen, sturdy, comfortable shoes or boots. Optional :
Bring empty jugs and fill up with the best tasting sulphur water in the
state! For more information contact Jane Powell, 521-9815 or
luckystarjane@ cs .com.

~aturda1, Oc.tober 5 - \Zac.e for the C.ure
The Komen Central Oklahoma Race for the Cure® will be held on
Saturday, October 5, 2002 at the SBC Bricktown Ballpark in
Oklahoma City. They expect a record-setting 16,000 participants this
year.
Race-day registration begins at 7:30 a.m.; the pre-race ceremony at
8:30, and the co-ed 5k Run/Walk steps off at 9: 15. The 1 Mile Fun
Run/Walk begins at 9:30, and the Children's Dash at 10:30.
Pre-registration - $18 for the run/walks, $10 for the Kid ' s Dash - is
available at 50 Penn Place, on Level R2 across from Harolds. You
must have a Race Number to participate.
For more info, see
www.okckomen.com
~unda1, Oc.tober (, - - - - l\ID~ Wah~
Gather at the Oklahoma City Myriad Botanical Gardens Sunday
afternoon. Registration and entertainment begin at 12:30 p.m. and
opening ceremonies begin at 2 p.m. This is a fun and exciting
opportunity for Oklahomans to get out and support HIV I AIDS
nonprofit organizations in the Oklahoma City metro area. The
afternoon will kick-off with live entertainment followed by a one-mile
walk through beautiful downtown Okl ahoma City and Bricktown. For
more information about supporting the AIDS Walk and organizing a
Walk team, go to the Walk 's website at www.aidswalkokc.org

.Llerland 6upper Club
The October 6upper Club will meet Friday,
October 18. at .Llerland at 6:45 pm
for Pizza and tv1ovies.
6oft drinks and other refreshments
will be provided.
Following our supper.
we will settle in for
Llerland's tv1ovie Night.
Three documentaries: will be shown:
tlne Fine Oay, \lt.tes &r IVt.men.
G Lesbian Ttlngues: Lesbians TaLk abt?ut Life.
LPve and .5ex

C.ome Out, C.ome Out, Wherever You Are
October 11 is Coming Out Day. Are you Out? All the way?
Congratulat!ons! L!fe !s s0 much richer a.~d me re relaxed ·.vhen ·.,ve
are. If you are still lingering in the closet; if you still really believe it
will kill Grandma; if you know that it might cost you your job - if you
just cannot come out this October 11, set yourself this alternate task:
spend the day, as much as possible, imagining, imaging, how
wonderful it would be if all glbt folk came out. You know, for
instance, Barney Frank, Jim Kolbe, and Tammy Baldwin are not the
only glbt congresspersons in Washington - there are 535 Senators and
Congresspersons - do the math. How wonderful would it be if the
others came out?!
David Kopay & Roy Simmons were not the only
gay players in the NFL - Martina not the only tennis star, Rosie not
the only media star - how great would it be if all the others came out?!
It would only transform the lives of us more ordinary queer folk. It
would, I wager, slash the teenage suicide rate. And as individuals, our
own coming out does the same thing on a nuclear-family-size scale.
How much easier it would have been for us if our uncles and aunts
had softened the family up by their own openness .. .... . It's a
beneficial cycle we really need to be a part of, and the nice thing is it
benefits us as much as anyone else. Good luck.

Wom'fn of C.o\or C.e\ebrate
On October 13, 2002 Womyn of Color, an Oklahoma City based
Lesbian support group will be celebrating their one year anniversary.
In an effort to show unification with all Lesbians of our area we are
inviting you to join us at Herland at 4:00 p.m. that day.
We will meet at Herland and from there we will go to Golden Corral
located at 6161 N. May Avenue for dinner. Everyone is invited to
help us celebrate this joyous occasion . We would appreciate your
support. If you have any questions or want information about our
organization please feel free to email us at womynofcolor@gay.com
or call 405/842-3464 or 405/947-7691 .

..,..,..,.herland&i&ter&.or9
t\erland 'f>i&ter !4&ourc.e&. 1-?11- NW ?If. Ol::lahoma C.it~. 01( 1?111£mail u& at herland&i&ter&@c.o'f..net Vi&it u& during our bool::&tore hour&, 'f>aturda~&.

4o?-?1-1-'lv%•
I -

? p.m.

'5aint '5~bi\ presents: G.uest feminists

'5ou\forGe - The

Yes, Readers, there are feminists out there. You ' ve been writing,
bless you. Our thanks and warm appreciation go out to this month's
Guest Feminist, Rebecca Howard, who writes:
Feminism is not solely about equal pay for equal work, universal
childcare, or creating safe streets after dark. These are the products of
feminism, but they are not feminism . Rather, feminism is a spiritual
path chosen by individuals who value people of all genders, abilities,
ethnicities, and ages. ls this the history of feminism? Was the
women's movement of the I 960's homophobic, white, and middleclass? Absolutely. But at the core of feminism is a belief that women,
children, and the domestic sphere are essential to the existence of
civilization. Feminism is about men sharing household chores,
diapering babies, nurturing toddlers, and creating environments of
peace and safety as much as it is about women making executive
decisions, becoming senators, and running Fortune 500 companies.
Feminism is not the switching of gender roles, but the annihilation of
roles that are determined by anatomy all together, so that any
individual may realize her or his full potential.

Church are bearing fruit. The congregation and new minister are
finding it hard to resist the gentle vigilers standing steadfast in
freezing cold, scorching heat, and pouring rain. If you would like to
join them and participate in the vigil on Sunday, October 6, email
Info@SoulforcelnOklahoma.org or call 405/ 524-2292.

One fine Da~ -

Herland Movie Night, Friday October 18 at

7 pm,
We will watch two very short films: one honoring the
Suffragists and the celebratory "One Fine Day"; followed by a longer
documentary, "Lesbian Tongues: Lesbians Talk About Life, Love and
Sex", featuring interviews with, among others, JoAnn Loulan, Joan
Nestle, Jewelle Gomez and Minnie Bruce Pratt. There is no charge
for the movies and refreshments, but Supper Clubbers will chip in for
the pizza; and donations will be cheerfully accepted.

Our '5paGe for tz..e.nt -

Herland ' s space is available to lease

on most weekdays and evenings; $15 per meeting, $50 a month for
weekly meetings . If you are interested in using our space, please call
Diane at 52 i-9696; and ask about possible sliding rates.

C.on9ratu\ations to l'fLAG. of Norman, and their
Chapter leader Kay Holladay, who have been chosen PFLAG Chapter
of the Month for their work with the "Our House to the Schoolhouse"
campaign. Facing the challenge of reaching out to students in schools
where personnel are not permitted to provide information about
homosexuality, they have championed the cause of safe schools,
conducted assessments, and met with school board members.
Contact them at (405) 360-4497.

free C.onGert - - - -

To Benefit the Oklahoma Coalition

Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
October 11, 2002 at the Myriad Botanical Gardens, Water Stage, 69 pm. Featuring: Local Hero , Son Del Barrio, Alma Latina, Ollie
Nathan, Mat/hew Atkinson Ojibway Traditional Native Flute; and
Mary Lee ' s Corvette. For more information call 405/848-1815.

\-\eartfe\t Than\::s - - To Pam and Chris of Leaf It To Us - for the great Fundraiser they
gave for Herland. It was a lovely musical afternoon in a charming
indoor garden: and raised equal parts of fun , funds , and goodwill.
Thank you Pam and Chris!
The Voice is published by: Herland Sister Resources , Inc. 23 !2 NW 39'h,
Oklahoma City, OK 73 l 12. The Voice is offered as an open forum for
community discourse. Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not
necessarily those of Herland Sister Resources . Unsolicited articles and
letters to the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer with full
name and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed under a
pseudonym or anonymously. Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon
request although a donation is requested to meet publication and
distribution costs.

.P1 .P.P

relentless efforts of Soulforce at Village Baptist

The MusiG '5Gene

.P1 .P

By Jill Garner
Cheryl Wheeler and Kate Campbell - Blue Door, October 26'h
I thought this month I was going to write about all the
reasons you should go hear Kate Cambell at the Blue Door on
October 26'h. But, now the night is even sweeter with the recent
addition of Cheryl Wheeler to the bill. I'm a little floored because the
two of them are capable ofa great show all by themselves. I own all
their CDs, I've seen them both several times in concert, and I hope
they both continue to make music for a long time because they ' re
amazingly talented. They're both great songwriters, and even better,
awesome singers. To have both of them play in one night is definitely
a show no music lover should miss.
I've seen Kate Campbell several times at the Blue Door and
each time her beautiful voice, thought-provoking lyrics, and her
southern accent make me swoon. While religious references and
themes can be found throughout her songs, her style and philosophical
openness make her music completely accessible to religious and nonreligious alike. As Campbell said in an interview I read, "I just see
things and think, 'That's a story that's got to be told."'
Campbell grew up in the south, the daughter of a prominent Baptist
preacher, and that experience, growing up during a time of racial
unrest, and her master's degree in southern history all influence her
music. Her latest CD, Wandering Strange, is a collection of hymns
and gospel songs, some of which she wrote herself. "10,000 Lures",
dealing with struggles of temptation, and_"Bear it Away", about the
1963 bombing of the Birmingham Baptist Church where four girls
were killed are two of her own.
Campbell has five CDs to her name now, with songs stretching the
gamut from heart-wrenching such as "Crazy in Alabama" and
"Perfect World" to light-hearted like "Funeral Food" and "Jesus and
Tomatoes". Campbell, in an interview with Ethics magazine, said, "I
was driving through North Carolina one day and I came across a sign
that read 'Jesus and Tomatoes Coming Soon. It was a great
illustration of the place of religion in the South."
Cheryl Wheeler for years has been one of my very favorite
singers/songwriters. She can have you laughing during one song and
wiping tears from your eyes the next. She tells wonderful moving
stories in her songs but can also write cutting satires of culture and
politics.
Her songwriting skills are undeniable, and based on the number of
singers who have recorded songs by Wheeler, it's obvious her talent is
gaining notice. Suzy Boggus has recorded a number of Wheeler' s
songs, most notably "Aces", a hit for her, but also " Moonlight and
Roses" and "Don't Wanna". "Addicted" gave Dan Seals a hit, Kathy
Mattea covered " Further and Further Away", and Chris Raines (a.k.a.
Garth Brooks) sang parts of "!flt Were Up to Me" on his CD.
Wheeler's voice is gorgeous, her songwriting talent immense, and
she'll be right here in OKC in October. For the price of one, there
will be two extremely talented women in a small intimate space to
sing their songs. For your sake, and so they ' ll keep coming to
Oklahoma, please don 't miss it. If you don't want to take my word for
it, find their music on the internet and listen for yourself.
The show on October 26'h starts at 9:00 and tickets are $20 and can
be purchased at the door. If you ' ve never been to the Blue Door, then
take whatever you want to drink with you in a small ice chest because
no drinks are sold at the concert. If you're concerned about smoke,
don't be because it's a non-smoking venue and the focus is all on the
music. See you there!

P..nd More Muf>iG....... .
)'
Friday, October 11 , 6 pm, Free Concert at the Myriad
Botanical Gardens, Water Stage, to benefit OCADVSA
)'
Saturday, October 12: The Sisters of Swing at Galileo's, 9 to
midnight, $5 .
)'
Sunday, October 13: Mary Catherine Reynolds at the
River's Edge, Tulsa, 2:30 - 5:30; that's just north of the 21st street
bridge on Riverside Drive.
)'
Tuesday, October 22: Louise Goldberg & Mary Reynolds at
Galileo's. 8-11 , no cover.
)'
Saturday, October 26: Cheryl Wheeler and Kate Campbell
at the Blue Door - see the advance review on the facing page.
)'
Sunday, October 29: Mary Catherine Reynolds at the
River's Edge again, 2:30 - 5:30.
Attention all you other Oklahoma songbirds & musicians: if
)'
you would like your gigs to be listed here, email Roadiechick at
mocox1@cox.net, and she' ll put it in.

'$AV£ iH£ DAI£'$
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

November 15 - 24 ; OUT OK Film Festival (see article below).
Saturday, November 9: Mary Reynolds at Java Dave's.
Friday November 15, SNU Varsity/Alumni <:;' <:;' <:;' Basketball.
Tuesday, November 19th: Louise & Mary@ Galileo's, 8-11.
Friday, December 6th: Therapy Sisters at the Blue Door.
Sunday, December 15th: most likely date for the Sisters of
Swing Christmas show.
Tuesday, December 17th: Louise & Mary at Galileo's, 8-11.

OUT Ot( Fi\m Fe&tiva\
OUT OK proudly announces two GALA films for The Oklahoma
Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival. Join us in Oklahoma
City (Norman) and Tulsa for the premiere of MARGARET CHO'S
NOTORIOUS C.H.O. and DIRK SHAFER'S CIRCUIT. We are
honored to present the highly anticipated works of these two gay
icons.
Following the demise of her controversial and groundbreaking sit-com, "All-American Girl" , Margaret .achieved national
notoriety with her hilarious and uncompromising concert, film, and
best-selling book "I'm The One That I Want". NOTORIOUS C.H.O.
is the one that you want. Come and see why the GLBT community
has warmly embraced this comedienne-extraordinaire. Laugh Track
Not Needed!
Dirk Shafer is a born and bred gay Oklahoman. Dirk has turned his
story of beauty and deception into the successful documentary, "Man
of the Year". His latest directorial effort focuses on the circuit party
scene. Come and bear witness to this international gay phenomenon.
Disco Ball Included!
GALA Tickets - (Guaranteed seating to all films and all GALA
films) - $20..
GALA After-party Tickets - Guaranteed entrance
to all GALA After-parties - $20.
VIP ALL ACCESS PASS Oklahoma City (Norman) $120, Tulsa $150.
You may pre-purchase your GALA tickets and your VIP ALL
ACCESS PASS through <www.out-ok.com> or telephone Philip Au
at 918-682-4654 ext. 2.
DATES & VENUES: Norman - November 15, 16, 17 (Film and Gay
Cinema Conference), Meacham Auditorium.
Tulsa - November 22, 23, 24, Supersaver Theatre (31st & Sheridan)
Please mark these dates on your OUT OK docket.
SEE YOU IN THE DARK!

Naming the Vio\enGe:
Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering.

Edited by Kerry Lobe/for
the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Lesbian Task Force

Denying that violence exists in the lesbian community is like Bill
Clinton denying he had ' sex with that woman ' . Violence in same sex

relationships is not a question of semantics, it is a reality. Those of us
in Oklahoma City have witnessed first hand too many sisters hurt or
dead at the hands of their lovers to dismiss it as ' playing rough. '
Anger, stress, depression, job worries and substance/alcohol abuse do
not cause violence. Violence is a choice the abuser makes. Abusers
are so insecure they use threats and violence to force their lover to
stay: " I can't live without you." (also means "you may not live
without me.") "I don ' t believe you were at the store at 2:30. Show me
the receipt." (time management) "If you leave me, I' m calling your
boss, (or your family), and telling you ' re a lesbian"(emotional
blackmail). Then there is the apology: "Baby, I didn ' t want to hit you,
but. .. " and fill in the excuse of choice: " ... but I was drunk," or " .. . but
you knew that would make me mad," or .. . " but I love you so much I
couldn 't stand the thought of your leaving and you make me crazy."
Note the failure to accept responsibility for her behavior: it's just not
her fault she is abusive.
In the beginning, abuse begins very subtly and is difficult to detect.
It frequently starts with verbal assaults, accusations of flirting or being
unfaithful. A little jealousy in the first blush of a relationship might
even seem like a neat thing- a special thing. But the reality of having a
jealous lover can be something else entirely. Extremely jealous lovers
want to control time, who it's spent with, and when, and the end result
is isolation: isolation from friends, family, and other couples.
An Abuser doesn ' t accept responsibility for her behavior, blaming
her partner instead, and the tragedy is the abused partner frequently
blames herself. She will often feel that if she were just "better" the
abuse would stop . If she was just more loving, more patient, more
understanding : if, if, if.
And it is difficult to talk about to friends because the friends may be
mutual, and dissing a partner is bad form; besides, what if she does
change like she said she would? What if the friends didn't believe
her? What if they told her lover what she said? Where is help when
you need it?
Help can be a phone call away. There is DVV AP (Domestic
Violence Victims Assistance Program) at (405) 297-2881. DVV AP
can help you file a VPO (Victim Protective Order). In Oklahoma, the
language in the law is gender neutral, so someone in a same sex
relationship can get this level of protection. There is the Battered
Women's Shelter hotline: ( 405) 917-9922. The hotline can offer
information for getting out of the house safely and can also provide
emergency housing at the shelter. These hotlines can make referrals to
other services in Oklahoma County and throughout the state. They can
also provide numbers for emergency services in other states as well.
There is no charge for counseling at the YWCA, and the number is
947-4506.
The Internet offers a wealth of information, links and phone
numbers. Some frequently visited sites are: www.4woman.gov ,
www .nwnetwork.org and www/ncadv.org
National Coalition
Against Domestic Violence. There are many more sites and not time
nor space to list them.
" ... Bruises do not become metaphors, poems don't heal a thing."
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Genuinely loving
relationships are partnerships in the truest sense of the word, filled
with love and trust. If you are in an abusive relationship, call for help.
Call now.
'$a~& '$he C.an't
When your lover beats you
When your lover beats you
When your lover beats you

When '$he

\ive Without YOU-

Bruises do not
become metaphors
poems don ' t
heal a thing.

Sarah. March 1982

-

-

------- ---------~

Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Pennit No. 861

Address Service Requested

Supperit

REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.

Supperiters
Julia Irwin, M.D., P.C.
Psychiatrist

Clinical Psychology
405/321-2148
Box 5119
Norman, Okla. 73070

Individual - Couples
Family Therapy, Retreats

Doctor's Park
500 East Robinson, Suite 600
Norman, OK 73071
(405) 321-3719

Young ·
and Older Adults

Lea& 'Jt 7a Ual

\'Jebiite of the tttonth

7k~~~t

300 1t. 7de{tluute .<>oad, ~. ~-:<:::
(405) til2-f724
~.~.~

www .msmagaz1ne.com

~~.~