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P,·Jp":rty of the Cent~r
THE NEWSLETTER OF ,..F.Rl!N~;:~;;~~~~-~- INC.,

an association of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and their friends.

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VOLUME

10

•

ISSUE

K

4

N

•

JULY

•

AUGUST

G

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1996

5!:ti::0Wk,w----------------------------------TRAVERSE CITY TURNS ITS BACK
ON GAYS/LESBIANS:
-HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION LOSES POWER
Jim Poole

seems to me that you're bringing that much more involvement in
that we might be able to avoid," Thompkins said.
Each commissioner spoke before voting on amending the
personnel policy to include sexual orientation. Here are some
comments from each commissioner:

In a June 17 meeting the Traverse City City Commission
voted 4 to 3 to reject a proposal by the Human Rights
Commission (HRC) to amend the city personnel Taylor:
nondiscrimination policy to include the words "sexual
orientation." In opposition were Commissioners Jasper Weese,
Shelley Kester, Jack Tompkins, and Phil Orth. In support were
Commissioners Lary Hardy, Jack Boynton, and Mayor Peter Boynton:
Taylor. In an identical vote that followed, the city commission
passed a motion by Shelley Kester to give the city commission
the option to review claims of discrimination before sending
them to the Human Rights Commission. Under the original
policy, the city commission automatically referred claims of
discrimination appealed by the city manager to the HRC, Hardy:
which would then investigate the claim, perform mediation,
and report their findings to the city commission.
The new policy will now allow the city commission to Kester:
reject a claim based on sexual orientation without any
investigation or mediation by the HRC. Commissioner Kester
said that the HRC may not be adequately trained to handle
some claims. "My concern is I don't know of anyone on the
commission (and maybe someone can advise me of anyone) Tompkins:
having skills in employment issues," she said.
Commissioners Hardy and Boynton said that having the
city commission take claims could leave cases open for public
debate. "If it comes here it's going to be a community affair
before you ever get started," said Hardy. He also said that
Orth:
people may not make claims for fear of being exposed in public
meetings.
"If it becomes a matter of debate with us each time to
make our own individual decision as to whether or not it
goes to the HRC, I think that's unnecessary and
Weese:
counterproductive," Boynton said.
Commissioner Tompkins said that the HRC could be used as
an advisory body under the city commission's discretion. "It

"So long as there are intolerant people, I believe, in
the world, that's the very reason why we need to
have the words 'sexual orientation' included in this
policy."
"I think that this proposal is a poor second. I have
been on record for not liking lists." "It requires
people to keep coming before us to petition us for
rights which I think they were born with and are
inalienable."
"We've got to be fair, we've got to be just, and
they've got to know that they're not going to be
discriminated against."
"I think the policy we have right now is working, and
I'm going to support the continuation of what we've
been doing, which is continue to hire gay and lesbian
people."
"If we make changes in the policy, I think it implies
to the community, and implies to Richard (Lewis)
that we think maybe something isn't quite the way it
should be in our organization, and that maybe there
is some discrimination."
"(If we expect our elected officials to be absent of
values or standards), we're going to run into a lot of
difficulty not only at this level, but at levels of
government though be it state or the federal levels or
any others."
"I can not support this motion or any motion that has
to do with forcing their lifestyle on me or me forcing
mine on their's."

Richard Tuxbwy

Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N
information.)

FROM THE EDITOR

FRIENDS NORTII is an organization oflesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and
their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. Located in Traverse
City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
and a community needs fund for financial assistance.

Ah, summer, when life is supposed
to slow down enough to enjoy
everything that we missed the rest of the
year. But, lest we get too comfortable
biking and bay-swimming, let's not forget that the world of politics
is still marching on. After all, it's an election year-an important
one-in which gays and lesbians are in the spotlight. Keep an eye
on the Republican convention in San Diego later this month. Look
for the attention that's paid to Pat Buchanan, Pat Robertson, and
Ralph Reed of the Christian Coal it ion. Let's watch to see how they
ally themselves, or perhaps, divide themselves.
A lot has happened since the last election four years ago. The
American public learned how to say "gay" and "lesbian" without
flinching. They became educated by our media to a great extent,
and, even those living in Small Mind, USA appear to be somewhat
savvy. However, there is still a long way to go in understanding
that gays and lesbians live their lives the same as everyone else
does. And, yes, most straights still presume that everyone is
straight until proven otherwise.
Along with this new attention, it seems that the media drew a
line in the sand. People were asked to take sides, and now,
everyone has expressed opinions about gay and lesbian rightsfrom job protection to marriage and military service to adopting
children. We now know who our friends are as well as our
enemies, which makes us far better off as a movement.
There have been some major disappointments in the last few
months, too. Governor Engler just signed into law the bill which
penalizes those educational institutions which grant health
benefits to the partners of its gay and lesbian employees. Today
this includes Wayne State University and the University of
Michigan. We have local Senator McManus to thank for this
unnecessary and discriminatory piece of legislation. In another
self-serving move, Michigan legislators also banned recognition
of same-sex marriage.
Locally, we were dealt a blow by the Traverse City City
Commission in adding "sexual orientation" to the list of protected
classes governing City hiring policies. On the bright side, we
received support from some extraordinary, fair-minded people in
the community, such as Mayor Peter Taylor. We also viewed a
few ignorant and outlandish displays of ego and avoidance, such
as the performance by City Commissioner Jim Tompkins. On the
light, yet frightening, side was Commissioner Weese, whose
ignorant, rambling remarks simply awestruck the crowd. But,
again, sides were drawn, and we have found our friends-those
who believe in fairness-and our enemies-those who prefer to
maintain discrimination and the status quo.
It was a pleasant surprise that same week to receive the June
issue of The New Yorker. The front cover featured a drawing of
two male sailors in a passionate kiss in the middle of a crowded

TIIE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTII is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall, Room 2 in the
cafeteria the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. Everyone is
welcome to attend.
TomLaForte
Tim Evans

Julie Parker

Victor Dinsmoore-secretary M'Lynn Hartwell
Tom Kincaid-VP Carol Lambertson-Pres.
Jim Poole
Scott Southwell-treasurer

Networking 45° Norlh, P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562

NEWSLETTER COMMITIEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor:
Publishing & Layout:
Advertising:
Mailing List:

Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tuxO Ol@aol.com
Richard Curtis: 929-9605
or e-mail: rcurtis695@aol.com
Jim Carruthers: 922-7768
John Evans: 922-0746

Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $120.00 for
6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call
'advertising' for rates.
SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking 45° North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part of this, and
to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #5-August 15; Issue #6-october 15.
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes to our address.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies are sent
bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.

~

printed on recycled paper
NElWORKING 45°NORTH

2

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

with his many years of experience with Friends North and our
local community.
Happy Gay Pride month! It was indeed a time to celebrate,
with the recent victory in the US Supreme Court. The decision
on May 20, 1996 regarding Colorado's Amendment 2 is a
profound victory for all who believe in basic equal rights and the
principle that all Americans deserve to live free from
discrimination and hate crimes.
On a more local note, however, it appears that we still have
our work cut out for us. The Traverse City City Commission again
voted against adding 'sexual orientation' to the City's hiring
policy. In spite of very moving and eloquent comments from area
ministers, an attorney, a psychologist, parents of gays, and
citizens, as well as members of the g/I/b community, the
amendment was voted down 4-3. I would like to thank everyone
who has worked on this issue so far, including those people who
came to the city commission meetings to show support.
I would also Iike to take this opportunity to thank all of you
out there for supporting Friends North by renewing your
newsletter subscription, by including extra money as a donation
to our organization, and by attending our social events. Without
this kind of participation we would not be able to continue.
THANK YOU! We also appreciate feedback; your letters, phone
calls and comments are important. Keep them coming!
Friends North is pleased to announce that in conjunction with
PFLAG and a generous donation, we will be establishing a tollfree telephone "helpline" which will be answered by a trained
person 24 hours a day. We hope to implement this before the end
of the year. Watch Networking 45° North for updates.
Finally, I would like to remind everyone to register and BE
SURE TO VOTE in November. This is the best way to "be
counted". We will do our best to keep you informed of various
issues so that you can make shrewd choices at the polls.
I look forward to serving you as President of Friends North
and invite you to contact me with any concerns, questions or
comments to improve our organization. Call me at 929-7476.

New York street. The caption was 'Don't Ask.' Thank you, editor
Tina Brown for once again giving us your cover.
Dean and Cindy Robb were incredible hosts at our gay pride
celebration. They opened their home and farm to us for that
Saturday afternoon, and the event went off beautifully. About 250
people came and joined in the picnic and gathering: some played
volleyball and others socialized. Twelve people participated in
the morning's bike ride in Leelanau County. Thanks again to
Cindy and Dean, as well as to Frank Noverr, from Noverr
Publishing, whose donation provided for the catered picnic lunch.

Carol Lambertson

FROM THE PRESIDENT
Many of you know that Jim Ingleson
resigned as President of Friends North,
effective with our May Board Meeting. Please
continue to support Jim with your kind thoughts as he heals from
the tragic and sudden death of his life partner, Kevin, in January.
We love you Jim!
The Friends North Board has suffered another loss since May.
Greg Baird has moved on to work in California. Greg contributed
many hours of service to Friends North, and could always be
counted on to attend all meetings and functions. We will miss
him greatly, and we wish him luck and success in his new
ventures. Greg promises to keep in touch via the newsletter as
soon as he is settled.
At our June Board Meeting, then, we had two vacancies to fill
by nomination and election. Tom LaForte, who works in Traverse
City and currently resides in Boyne Falls, and Tim Evans of
Petoskey wil I serve for the remainder of the year. We are grateful
for their energy and enthusiasm.
The completed Board then elected a new President and Vice
President. Tom Kincaid will execute the VP role, backing me up

Carol Lambertson

dive/ coach.

Ci@

fJ,

Madeleine

THOMAS

SCUBA DIVING INSTRUCTION
Private and CD ROM home study courses available
Glenn Sanford, certified NAUI instructor
(616) 946-0433
2671 Shenandoah Drive
Traverse City, Michigan 49684-8922

for DISTRICT

JUDGE

PAID FOR BY TIIE CoMMITIEE TO ELECT THOMAS FOR JUDGE, BoB BRICK, TREASURER

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

3

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Out,n

FRIENDS NORTH GAY AND LESBIAN
HISTORY AND EDUCATION CONFERENCE

+About

Friends North will be sponsoring the second annual Gay and
Lesbian History and Education Conference the weekend of
October 25th through 27th at the Sugar Loaf Resort, located on
the Leelanau Peninsula near Traverse City. The activities will
begin with a hospitality gathering arid registration on Friday night.
On Saturday, registration will take place between 8:00 and 9:00
am with the conference starting at 9:00 am. The conference will
officially close at an informal breakfast on Sunday morning.
Saturday will be filled with two keynote addresses, six
workshops, a luncheon, one-act stage readings, an outdoor walkabout, and a dance.
The workshops will include Gay and Lesbian Teachers,
Lesbians/Gays and the Media: Diversity in Our Community; Local
Gay/Lesbian Rights Ordinances; History Spotlights; and
Generation Issues. The registration fee for the conference wil I be
$25.00 which includes all presentations, lunch, and the dance.
Please locate the conference registration form in the center of this
newsletter and send them in early.
The Resort is reserving rooms for this Friends North event at
the low conference rate of $52.00 per night. The Resort does
request that you fil I out the registration form located in the center
of the newsletter, and mail it in with the $50.00 required deposit,
as soon as possible. Reservations cannot be accepted by phone.
PLEASE NOTE: REGISTRATION FOR THE HOTEL IS
SEPARATE FROM THE CONFERENCE REGISTRATION.

A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information

The Summer heat is high. Traffic is as heavy as a Traverse City
Cherry Festival parade day. Work is at an all time overload and
you were just handed a new project that was due yesterday. The
rent and utility bills are two weeks late. The pets are snarling
because your last quality time with them was prior to the Solstice.
"What did you say your name was," she queried?
Girlfriend! It's time to ESCAPE! Take yourself off to an evening
of "Magic, Music, Mystics & Massage" at the July Out 'n About
Lesbian Coffeehouse. Leave the hustle and bustle at our front door
and join with others in a relaxing atmosphere that affords a respite
from the usual wild, wide world that surrounds us. This
coffeehouse will feature a variety of active and passive areas
where you can enjoy a professional neck and shoulder massage,
or sit to build a dreamcatcher for yourself or a special someone.
Mask-making and creating a wise-woman walking stick may be
your choice; or connecting with others in a circle of drumming
and song. Other pastimes will be available, too.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse will be open from 7
pm until 11 pm on Saturday, July 20. Come and celebrate peace
with old and new friends.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is managed by an
informal gathering of lesbians who call themselves the Steering
Committee. This committee meets for a few hours on the Monday
prior to the 3rd Saturday coffeehouse for planning of each month's
event. The Committee is always seeking input from you, the
lesbian community, about what or who Out 'n About should
feature in upcoming months. Please consider joining the Steering
Committee so that your ideas can be heard and so that you can
make a positive impact on your own community.

Call for Booths/Displays
There wil I be eight (8) foot tables available for booths/
displays at the Gay and Lesbian History and Education
Conference. The cost for the tables is $15.00 each. Set up time
will be available Friday night to be ready for the conference on
Saturday morning.
Anyone and/or organization who is interested in signing up
for a table, please send $15 .00 with your name, address, phone,
and type of display/booths to Friends North, PO Box 562,
Traverse City, MI 49685-0562.

Out n' About Lesbian Coffeehouse is held on the third Saturday
of each month except August and December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of $3 ($5-$10 if we have entertainment).
Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks are available.

Bay

Office: (616) 941-5748

Business
Services
Inc.

For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
About Lesbian Coffeehouse mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message. (Please note this telephone number is for
Coffeehouse information only. If you have other questions or needs,
please call Friends North at 946-1804.)

ANDREW L. MITCHELL

Accounting & Tax Service
810-8 South Garfield Ave• Traverse City, Ml 49686

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

IE

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cc

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STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES

LOCAL SPIRITUAL:

Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) . . .... . ..... 800-347-HATE
Child Abuse Hotline ... . .. .. . . ........... .... ...... 800-392-8222
Michigan Wellness Networks . . ......... .. ......... .. 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .. ............ . ... 800-347-TEEN

Rev. Geraldine Colvin & Rev. David Florence
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City .... . .. . .. 616-932-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ....... . . 616-223-7999

STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL / POLITICAL / MEDIA

LOCAL COUNSELING:

The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 . .... . .. . 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ................ "616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ........... .. . . 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . .. .. .. ......... . ........... . 313-398-GAYS
http-J/www.webspace.com/~tcc/affirmations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 . . . .............. 517-332-3200
Capital Men's Club
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48902 .... (Kelly Stevens) 517-482-0860
Ambitious Amazons/Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .. . . ... .... .... 517-371-5257
Lesbian Alliance
P.O. Box 6423, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... .... ...... 517-394-1454
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit48219 ............. 313-537-3323
........ . ................................ Fax: 313-537-3379
email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . trijeffm@aol.com
PRIDE-Flint: P.O. Box 7014, Flint, Ml 48507 ............ 313-238-9854
Aurora Newsletter: (reaching out to gays, lesbians, bisexuals in the UP &
Canada) POB 626, Marquette, Ml 49855
Team Great Lakes
195 W. Nine Mile Rd., Suite 106, Ferndale, Ml 48220 . . 810-553-3586

Third Level Crisis Intervention, 902 W. Front St. . ........ 616-922-4800
..... ... . . . . ............ . ... . ... .. . . ... . . and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ..... . . . . ... .............. 616-941-1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD ....... .. ................. . .. 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) .. . . . . . .... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ...... .. ............... ... .... 616-947-0511
David Blisk (Maple City) .............. . . . ..... ... .. . 616-228-5105
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHI . ............. . ...... 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD ..................... . .... 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .. ......... . .. . 616-348-2415
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) . . . .. . . . .. . . .. . . ...... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center . ..... . .. 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ........ . .. . ........ . .. 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW ........ . . . . . ... .. ..... . 906-495-5061
Lois Martindale, Ph.D., Benzonia .. . . . .............. . . 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City .. . . .. . ... 929-1315 or 800-686-0749

LOCAL SERVICE/ SOCIAL/ POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) . . ....... .. . ......... . 616-946-1804
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location & time ........... .. .. . .. 616-922-4800
or ....... . .............. . . .. ... . .. . ........... 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nile Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. ..... . . 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC ... . John 616-922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City
POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 ........... . ... .. . Cindy 616-271-5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network) .. . ..... 616-943-8800
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill .. . .... 616-938-1333

NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL / POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .. .. 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 ... . ....... . . 212-807-1700
....... . .............. . ..... . .... . ....... Fax: 212-807-1806
email .......................... . ..... .. ... glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ...... ... . .. ..... 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . . .... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund
666 Broadway, New York, NY 10012 . . ......... . .... 212-995-8585
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 ......... . 415-621-0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-628-4160
..... ... ... ..... ......................... Fax: 202-347-5323
email . . . . . . ..... . ................... . ...... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
1012 14th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 . ...... 202-842-7679

NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH

LOCAL HIV/AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
Wellness Networks, Grand Traverse,
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 . ......... ... 616-947-1110
Wellness HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group . . ........ 616-947-1110
Grand Traverse County Health Department ............. 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist ............ 616-935-8140
Munson Medical Center HIV Clinic ............. ... 1-800-847-8474
Community Health Clinic ........................ . .. . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) .. .. .... . ... 1-800-248-6777
HERE ARE SOME PHONE NUMBERS EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE:
The White House (202) 456-1111; the U.S. Capital (202) 224-3121;
and some phone numbers for Northwest Michigan Residents-Cart Levin (202)
224-6221 or in TC (616) 947-9569; Spencer Abraham (202) 224-4822 or in C3rand
Rapids (616) 456-2592; Bart Stupak (202) 225-4735 or in TC 929-4711

s

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

succeed in getting the policy changed, we did do a lot of
EDUCATION! We appeared in the paper (even front page
headlines) and on news channels more than ever before. This
proposal was definitely the talk of the town. We were able to let
this community know who we were and that we definitely are part
of this community and plan to stay here.
The big question is are we done now? Will there be another
attempt? Wei I, a lot of that depends on those of you reading this.
There are lots of ideas floating around out there, let us know what
you think! We also need to call Jack Boynton and Larry Hardy and
thank them for their support. I have listed their numbers below.
Also, a call to Peter Taylor who has resigned as Mayor. Peter
needs to know how much we have appreciated his support
throughout the years, especially this past year.
And last but not by any means least, Carol and I want to thank
all of you for your support. You were FABULOUS! So many
people came out to support this issue. Many of you wrote letters,
made phone calls, talked to your friends and families and some of
you touched al I our hearts with your passionate voices at the City
Commission meetings. There were also a few who tried their very
best to keep Carol and I sane on a regular basis. (No easy task.)
Special thanks to Jim Carruthers, Sue Schwartz, Jane Hayes,
Reverend Geraldine Colvin, Cindy Robb, Paulette Parsons, Joann
Ewing and Brian Bensett of Copy World, and most of all to our
partners Sherry and Rene who listened to all the details of every
meeting and issue that came up over and over again.
Remember the City Commission meets the 1st and 3rd
Monday's of each month at 7:30 pm in the Governmental Center
and the Human Rights Commission meets the 2nd Monday of
each month at 6:00 pm in the same building.

NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S
CHOIR... WE RECRUIT!
The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir has been working
hard for over two years and having a lot of fun too! We have
between 12-16 members and have performed more than 2 Otimes
for Friends North, Out 'n About, Women's events, World AIDS
Day, the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, benefit concerts for
SAS, and other special events such as the Remember My Names
Memorial in Lansing and the Scottville NAMES Project Quilt
Display. The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir is a member of
Sister Singer's Network and GALA (Gay and Lesbian Association
of Choruses) and continues to improve and expand our repertoire.
We are looking for womyn who would like to sing with us. You
do not have to read music or have had experience. An interest in
womyn's music and a desire to have fun are the main
requirements!
The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir sings together as a
community of womyn, celebrating our strength and our diversity.
Some of us identify as lesbian and some do not. We welcome
womyn of varying musical abilities, political interests and life
experiences to join with us in learning and sharing womyn's
music. While the Choir is taking the summer off from rehearsals,
we wil I be getting together to socialize, sing and plan for next year
and this would be a great time to get to know us. So if you've
heard us and thought 'I could do that' or 'I wish I could do that'
contact Deb Medlin, Director at 616-275-5924 for information.

Sincerely,
Carol Anderson, Pam Haley

Contributions
FROM THE COMMUNITY

Commissioners Numbers
Peter Taylor-942-1826
Jack Boynton-947-5944
Larry Hardy-947-7189

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stories about ducks and geese and how the Bible affects
employment status. (I never really understood that connection.)
The vote was 6-1 against adding the words "sexual orientation"
to the City anti-discrimination hiring policy. I still wonder if the
commissioners really understood the motion. in June we came
back again with the same request, and got closer with a vote of 43, with Commissioners Jack Boynton and Larry Hardy changing
their votes in favor of the amendment. Although we didn't
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

UU COMMUNITY FORUM

law and the meaning of the word "sodomy" made it clear to some
heterosexuals in the audience that they, too, have broken
Michigan law and are indeed sodomites.
Did the Forum do any good? I believe it may have and this
gives me some hope that my initial negative feelings may not be
realized. It felt very good to hear some young and new voices
speak clearly and positively for human rights. I hope that some of
those who opposed the proposal left the Forum with voices of
reason and logic in their ears. While the Forum opened some of
my old wounds, it has given me renewed energy and clarified
some of my thinking.
I find it very rewarding that we have straight people in our
community like Paulette Parsons, Tom Dignan, Cindy Robb and
others who are speaking up and walking side-by-side with activist
gays, lesbians, and transgendered in the search for human dignity.
I know that I plan to continue to attend such events and look for
other ways to bridge the tall walls of prejudice and hatred until all
people are welcomed for their individual qualities and
appreciated, not judged unfairly, for their diversity.

ONE VIEW
Ray Rideout

I held strong negative feelings fol lowing the ACLU-sponsored
Community Forum on the Traverse City Human Rights
Commission's request to add "sexual orientation" to the list of
traits included in the City's non-discrimination policy.
Paul Bare, of the ACLU of Northwestern Michigan,
moderated the forum which was held at the Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship on June 13. Cindy Robb, P-FLAG; Tom Dignan,
Traverse City attorney; and Guy Molnar, Old Town Playhouse;
spoke in support of the proposal. Rick Pardini, Grand Traverse
Families in Action; LaRae Monk, Traverse City attorney; and Dave
Conklin, a person with AIDS from out of state, opposed the
proposal.
We have all heard such words as "pervert," "sodomite,"
"abomination," "promiscuous," "special rights," and "I have
nothing against gays-I just hate their sick behavior." We heard
these words and more again on the 13th. We also heard the Bible
quoted in simplistic ways and out of context and that gays can
change back to "normal" if they choose. For instance, Mr. Conklin
said he gave up a "promiscuous lifestyle as a homosexual" and
has married a woman after using the services of Exodus
International.
BORN-AGAIN-PAGAN-SEEKER
My bad feelings came less from hearing lesbians, gays and
transgendered people described in negative, stereotypical terms
Richard Curtis
I am well known, to some, as being a person who "irritates
than in realizing just how great the gap is in our ability to
communicate with extremists. Do these people really represent people." Someone who enjoys poking people, tickling people.
the Grand Traverse community? Where are the moderate forces Stating things in such a way as to elicit a response.
in the community?
During the last few meetings of the newsletter staff, we, "The
Tom, Cindy and Guy each gave eloquent statements and Staff" ("The Staff of Life?"; "Thy Rod and Thy Staff They Comfort
refused to be drawn into nonproductive encounters. However, I Me"? Tall, Erect, Vital, Members All) discussed the aging nature
left that evening feeling that those who came to oppose the of our organization. In a recent survey (which was in fact a rather
request of the Human Rights Commission had no desire, or ability, small sampling of the members of our group) we found nearly
to hea,r another view. And sadly, their rigid posture and superior 60% over 40 years of age.
attitudes engendered harsh and negative statements and reactions
We, The Staff, have discussed various ways of eliciting
on the part of many of us who supported the proposal.
response from the Younger Generations of Queer Folk. I for one
I have talked with a few who feel that education did take urged that we skip the Reagan Generation. Why try to bring them
place that evening. Indeed, Tom Dignan's statement regarding the in. Just write them off. They did after all bring us the
institutionalized worship of Senile-Self-Serving-Hypocrites. The
worship of Political Correctness-where everything must be seen
in a positive light. No one is handicapped they are challenged.
There are no faults only challenges. No one is to be corrected for
bad behavior we all just smile and pleasantly encourage them
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Born-Again (continued page next page)
7

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

I don't have a high regard for the medical profession. But I have
sought advice on doctors from professionals, friends and
acquaintances in the profession. When I mentioned one doctor here
in Traverse City their response was, "Never use him." "He should be
disbarred." "He's the worst in town." Three different people
commenting on the same doctor. They all added "But, please, don't
mention that I said this."

Mother; strong. muscular arms to enfold us; his life fluids rain down
on us all, giving us the "stuff of life." If you are a pagan worshiping
Mother Earth, you use sexual images: enjoy them, revel in them,
honor them.
Dan I am sorry that you were offended by what I said. But, lighten
up. "If the shoe doesn't fit...", why spend so much energy trying to
jam your foot into it. The 'Me Generation' has been characterized as
uninterested, uncaring. by many more than myself, and with reason.
If you take offense at the generalization-Good. You gave an
impassioned speech at the City Commission meeting last month. Get
out there and let the world know that there are people of your
generation who aren't only self-interested. Get more of your
generation to merely show up at events, even better if they can
become involved with planning, or political issues.
And while I know that my jabs cause discomfort, that is not their
purpose. Their purpose is to get responses, raise issues, to cause
people to think. Being a member of a queer nation I have developed
a thick skin. But allow me to point out that my jabs never stoop to
name calling, on a personal level. I took no offense in your letter but
hope that you will reread my last article and that with some distance
from your original anger you will see more information there than on
your first reading.
I'm feeling rather Biblical of late so here's one more quote: "Are
we not our brother's keepers?" Should we not urge a higher response
from those with whom we share this beautiful Mother/Father world?

So am I just on a rant here, or what?
In the last issue my article was entitled "Sex, Sex, Sex." The
proper reading of this title, to indicate the intended meaning, would
be to make the words sound like "Tisk, Tisk, Tisk." Try it "Sex, Sex,
Sex." I know that saying this word is difficult for many people.
Especially for people who are uncomfortable with the concept of sex.
Or people who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation.
There is, after all, power in words. Words can be used to excite
people to action.
I'm good at soliciting responses from people by using words. I'm
apparently not so good at conveying meaning to everyone. The point
of my article was that sex (what we do in private) is the basis of the
discrimination directed against us. My reference to pagan sexual
attitudes ("we incorporate sexuality within our religion as a
sacrament, or employ sexual symbolism in our rituals, or at least
accept sex as a positive human activity. Usually all three.") In no way
preaches anything as to how anyone else should use their sexuality.
It merely stated the acceptance of sexuality as a positive part of life.
(Not the Be-All and End-All of any life.)
I received many positive responses to this article. Various forms
of "Right on!" "Good one!" from people who know me and from
people I didn't know who took the time to phone me with
congratulations on a "Wonderful article." Dan Miller, of Traverse
City, however, took such affront at my opening jab at the Reagan
Generation-my attempt to solicit a response (not an easy task with
such a slow group)-that he seems, in my opinion to have missed the
meaning of everything else I wrote. [See Letters page 14]
His most blinding mistake (misunderstanding?) though was
completely his own. To quote Dan: "Not all Pagans use sex as a ritual,
or use sexual symbolism in their rituals. I am a pagan and I use neither
in my worship of M.Q.tb.fil Earth and Father Sky." [underline my
emphasis]. Dan, Mother Earth and Father Sky are quite specifically
sexual symbols. The Mother has a womb that gave birth to us all,
breasts to nourish us; The Father has sexual organs that fertilize the

Personally, I think we should place our hopes in Generation-X
for fresh blood in the movement. But then, they appear to be so
comfortable with their sexuality that they seem to be forgoing the
labels of gay, straight, bi-, transgendered, and just getting on with it.
We are talking of human rights aren't we, not just gay liberation, that's
just an old phrase from the 60's, and that generation is just a bunch
of burnt-out-air-heads with nothing left to offer. Aren't they?
Blest be.

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8

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUSf 1996

PROFILE: CAROL LAMBERTSON
MADELEINE THOMAS ANNOUNCES
CANDIDACY FOR DISTRICT JUDGE

John Evans
Late one sunny afternoon I rang Carol Lambertson's doorbell at
her neat house in a country development and was greeted by Kita,
her cat of a year or so who, Carol advises, is bipolar! He was quite
well -behaved as we toured the house, but when I got comfortable in
a living room chair he sprang up and started munching on one of my
fingers ... no doubt he recognized a cat lover.
Carol had just been through an exciting weekend celebrating her
son Nathan's graduation from high school. Currently working at
Wolohan's, Nathan has been accepted at Michigan State for this fall
to study journalism.
Carol's college career was interrupted. 11 1was going to go on in
the field of psychology, but motherhood came along. I decided to
spend my full time doing that, and so I didn't work.
But Carol already had her associate's degree from Lansing
Community College. With those credentials she was able eventually
to land a job with the Employment Security Commission here in
Traverse City. She moved up here from her native home in Lansing
with her then three-year-old son.
"But after nine ¼'.eeks I was laid off. At that time you needed
eighteen weeks of work to collect unemployment-so there I wasno job laid off from a jobless office! But I was able to stay here---found
a roommate who was able to take me in with my son."
There followed a succession of temporary secretarial jobs, one
of which was with Munson Medical Center.
"I really wanted to get into Munson, and after much letter writing
and campaigning for myself I was able to get a full time job there.
That was in 1984."
Since then Carol has worked her way up in the oncology
department from department secretary to clinical research associate.
After much discussion of life at Munson over the past twelve
years, I asked Carol about her social and recreational life as a working
single mother over this period.
About five years ago I really moved into a whole different area
of being and that included getting involved in Unity Church and
serving on their board a year or so. I became pretty active in social
activities and 12-step groups."
With the support of new-found friends Carol was able to turn her
life around, and this "uncovering of the layers of her life" enabled her

Madeleine Thomas is a candidate for Judge of the 86th
District, which covers Grand Traverse and Leelanau Counties.
Ms. Thomas has been a practicing attorney in the Grand
Traverse area for over 13 years. She has a general practice
focusing on small business law, criminal and civil litigation.
She has been the attorney for Friends North, Inc. ever since
its inception, and the attorney for its predecessor, Dignity, Inc.
Approximately two years ago, Ms. Thomas was
appointed as a Circuit Court Referee for Wexford and
Missaukee Counties. In this capacity she judges and rules on
issues concerning the children in a divorce-child support,
custody, visitation, paternity, and alimony in the Circuit
Court.
Ms. Thomas received her law degree at the University of
Detroit/Mercy School of Law in 1983, and two undergraduate
degrees from the Michigan State University/James Madison
College in 1979.
Ms. Thomas' local civic involvement has been quite
extensive, and her legal involvement in the community
includes being the first woman president being elected to the
three county local bar association as well as numerous other
memberships on the state wide level.
Ms. Thomas is married to Robert Eichenlaub, a local
special education instructor. They have two children,
Christopher, age 14, and Caroline, age 9.
Ms. Thomas would like to bring her experience as a
Circuit Court Referee, where she has judged some of the most
difficult of issues-those relating to children-to the bench.
She views the District Court as the "people's court" where
people desire respect and fairness.
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Elect Thomas for Judge
Treasurer: Robert Brick

Carol - Continued page 24

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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

BICAUII ff'I A CRmCAL TIMI

,oa UHi.AN AND GAY AMIRICA.

BICAUII THIS IUCTION II SO IMPOllTANT.
BICAUII

HUMAN

RIGHTS
CAMPAIGN

96

oua COMMUNITY MUST •• HI.AU.

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER.
REGISTER.

VOTE.

HRC UNVEILS OUTVOTE '96, ITS FIRST
POLITICAL CONVENTION

president in history who has
and defeating anti-gay ballo
About 1,000 of HRC's
attend the convention, from
essential campaign skills, b
candidates and get prepared
local, state and national elec
the heartland of America,
presidential election.
During the week leading up to
will train 26 young people to
the country and work for th
election of a fair-minded Co
leaders will continue to pro
lesbian, gay and bisexual equal rights for years to come," Birch iid.

Also LAUNCHES YOUTH CAMPAIGN COLLEGE TO TRAIN
TOMORROW'S MOVEMENT LEADERS
WASHINGTON-As part of its drive to make a difference in
federal, state and local elections in 1996, the Human Rights
Campaign will hold its first national political convention-OutVote
'96-and its first Youth College for Campaign Training to equip
young activists to work in political campaigns this fall.
uoutVote '96 promises to pull together major political figures,
the best campaign experts in the business and HRC professionals to
motivate and train HRC members," said Elizabeth Birch, HRC's
executive director. uThe goals include helping to elect a Congress
supportive of lesbian and gay equal rights; re-rlecting the first

Amanda Bearse, Chastity Bono, Sean Sasser, Greg Louganis, Candace Gingrich, Mitchell Anderson and Dan Butler

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

10

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Property of the center

ON THE WEEKEND OF OCTOBER

NOT ALL
BATTLES
ARE FOUGHT
WITH A
SWORD.
OCTOBER

11-13, 1996
AI OS

MEMORIAL

~ I LT DI SPLAY
WASHINGTON

DC
NAMES Project:

4 15-882-5500

Travel Info:
800-926-2631

Ill!
THENAMES
PROJECT

Official airfine

NFIWORKING 45° NORTH

11-13

OH MY! I'M Bl.
Oh my!
I'm bi.
I don't know if I,
Should lie,
And cry,
Afraid of good-bye?!
Oh why
Arn I
Bi?

hundreds of thousands
of people will converge
on one nation's capital
to participate in the
largest AIDS awareness
event in history. Just
weeks before the
presidential and
congressional
elections, and NAMES
Project has planned a
full weekend of
activities designed to
ensure that AIDS is
made a top priority on
our nation's agenda.

Choosing one,
Doesn't make the feelings for the other
Go away.
I struggle everyday.
I chose my best friend,
Together 'till the end.
Helps me through it all,
Especially when I fall.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to choose.
A bit of me I feel I lose.
But being in a relationship with two
May not leave much time for you.

As 45,000 AIDS
Memorial Quilt
panels-15 city blocks
of fabric-are
unfolded, the names of
the dead will ring out
over the open expanse
of the National Mall.
Over the course of the
weekend, volunteers
will read more than
70,000 names from
the Quilt, more names
than appear on the
nearby Vietnam War
Memorial.

© 1995 Pamela

Shamanism is the most ancient method of mind-body healing.
Shamans the world over saw illness as a break in our
spiritual essence causing debilitation and disease.
Trauma or negative energy from another person causes
spiritual break resulting in loss of power, soul loss or spirit
intrusion.
Symptom of power loss are
chronic bad luck, illness, frequent
accidents or low self esteem.

This monumental
event will be the
combined efforts of
over 10,000
volunteers. Whether
you are an
experienced NAMES
Project volunteer, or
someone who has only
seen the Quilt on
television, we need
you. Please join us for
this event. Together
we can make a
difference.

Symptom of soul loss are empty
feelings, depression, loss of
vitality, gaps in memory and long
grieving periods.
When we are dispirited, who helps us? We have doctors for
the body and mind. As a practicing shaman, Nancy
Hayward uses techniques from the ancient ones. She
journeys to other worlds and with spirit help restores
personal power, knowledge, healing and wholeness to her
clients.
Nancy has her training from the Foundation for Shamanic
Studies. For information or for an appointment call her at
616-223-7999.

11

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

TI IF TI JE JD

IL A
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ADOPT-A-ROAD CLEANUP scheduled for 1996. The dates to clean
Friends North's section of M-72 near Acme are: July 18, September
26. Again, we will gather at the theatre in Acme at 5:30 pm. Call
Alec at 943-4492 (issue 4)
GAY GAMES IN 1998: Team Great Lakes is organizing for the
upcoming games in Amsterdam, scheduled for August 1-5, 1998.
Those interested, please call Ann Heier at 810-547-4692. Team
Great Lakes sent 180 individual athletes and teams to New York City
in '94. (Issue 4)
B1-MONTHL Y, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first
and third Tuesday of each month, from 11 :30 am until 1:00 pm at a
local, Traverse City restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact
Friends North . (issue 4)
WASHINGTON D.C. QUILT: I am putting together a group of people
who are interested in going to Washington in October to see the
entire Names Project Quilt. Please contact me, Tom, at 616-9474647 or write: 208 Circle Dr., Apt. C, Traverse City, 49684. (issue 4)
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a
difference! The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To
contribute specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at
271-3042 or send a check (in an amount of $100.00 or less) directly
to Friends North. (issue 6)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day
to 947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue 6)
THE 1993 MARCH ON WASHINGTON DREW 1,000,000 PEOPLE
for Gay and Lesbian rights. The producers who made a video have
waived their copyrights for noncommercial TV. Those who live in
areas where residents can SPONSOR a video to be on community
access TV, please contact Rick, 508 Benjamin, Ann Arbor, Ml 48104;
313-663-0001 (issue 4)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY
is meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services
will be held on alternate Sundays with dates disclosed in their
newsletter, Diversity, Please call 348-31 17 for details or write to us
at POB 2 71, Petoskey, Ml 49770-02 71 (Issue 6)
HATE CRIMES WATCH: The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION.
The group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-7539823 . Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 5)
CREATING CHANGE: The annual NGLTF Conference is being held
in Alexandria, VA, outside of Washington D.C., on November 6-10.
For information contact NGLTF through their web page or call 617492-6393. (issue 4)

PERSONALS:
CHIROPRACTOR NEW TO TOWN: (and her two cats) need place
to live. Also need office space. Also looking for part time work while

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

12

I build my practice. Please call me at 313-996-1 603 or leave a
message at 616-228-6780 (issue 4)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling
and testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants,
Depo-Provera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and
other methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 9224630. Services are by appointment only. (issue 5)
CHRISTIAN, LESBIAN, WOMAN committed to Jesus Christ offers
bible study with fellowship and fun for like-minded gays and lesbians.
If you are interested, please send information on how to contact you.
Please write: Bible Study, PO Box 188, Suttons Bay, Ml 49682 .
Confidentiality assured. Let's get together and celebrate the fact that
Jesus loves us just the way we are! (issue 4)

GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends
North Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 pm at
Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall on the first floor, Room 2
in the cafeteria. Everyone is welcome! (issue 5)
GLSTN: The Gay-Lesbian-Straight Teachers Network is meeting
monthly in Traverse City. Newly forming. they welcome all interested
educators. For more information, call M'Lynn at 943-8800. (issue 3)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is
a network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who
meet monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with
others about the issues concerning them . Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace
Episcopal Church in Traverse Cityevery third Wednesday of the
month, at7:30 pm. For more information call Cindy Robb at 2715045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 9224800 or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as
well as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd . in T.C. Please see the Out 'n About
article elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities.
(issue 4)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS: If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim at271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 4)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV
or AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday
evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library
at 341 Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the
month the Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301
Veterans Drive, Suite 221 , just north of S. Airport Road. For further
information, please call 933-0279 . (issue 6)

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Classifieds continued

THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bisexual persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7
pm Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information
please contact Tim at 616-348-8151 (issue 4)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for
new voices. To obtain more information or for a performance
schedule, please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 4)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit
organization that has committed itself to helping and supporting the
needs of HIV infected persons. They offer a number_ of services,
including support groups, education, public awareness, and one-ononefriendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena,
Gaylord, and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the
program, please cal I 616-52 6-9213. (issue 4)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians
are held each Saturday at 11 :00 am and have been moved to a new
location at Grace Episcopal Church, corner Washington and
Boardman Streets in TC. For further info, call John at 922-0746 or
Tom at 947-4647. (issue 4)
FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for
gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please
contact Jeff @ 517-354-7702, or write to him at POB 391, Alpena,
Ml 49707. (issue 4)

LETTERS
Dear Friends;
I figure that if I want to keep up on the latest from home I can find
out in your newsletter. My brother who lives in Williamsburg started it
for me a couple years ago. So out of 4 brothers and 5 sisters I have a
brother and sister that accept as I am.
Living in a Military Retirement Community is a lot like being in
the service but no longer can they discriminate against me. I am
considered a Resident of Washington, D.C. and undertheir laws. I like
to put the newsletter in the library and watch all the bigots get mad and
saying it shouldn't be there.
I used to get the Washington Blade but it wasn't as good as yours
is. My heart is still in Williamsburg even if I haven't been back in 6
years. Too much dissension from some of the relatives makes it hard to
go back and visit. I may get strong enough to fight them for my right to
live also someday but so far I am still running. I have met many people
here who are gay and most of the straight(?) people who live around
me accept me. So I have a closer family here than at home.
Being in the service for 20 years and not knowing where I was
coming from before that has made my life lonely. That is why I like to
see people like you all working for the children coming up. Too many
children kill themselves because they are lost and no one to talk to. The
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

so called religious bigots who wish to push their warped ideas on all
really make me mad. What happened to tolerance in their religious
beliefs? Jews, Christians, and Muslims have killed more people in the
name of their god than any other people.
I was brought up Catholic but changed to Buddhism because they
accepted me as I am. I spent over 5 years in Thailand while in the
service. I wentto the monastery for 3 months as all monks do and found
that their non-violent life was the best way to go. That was the only
time that I was able to live my own life so did have a taste of what life
can be. Since 1975 it has been back to being alone and scared again.
So teach the children that love encompasses all of us and not just a
select few.
Thank you,
Pat and Ted

,,

Dear F/N/TC
We have a dear and close friend in the TC area and have known her for
quite a long time, and we want to address a serious problem that exists in this
area's gay community as well as many others. We' re not quite sure, but it could
be just a hand full of people who can't find something better to do in their
lives, but make trouble, spread rumors and gossip. People! Get a Life!!
Why do they feel the need to intrude into someone else's private and
personal life. Maybe reasons of insecurity, jealousy, nosiness, no life?
And then with no apparent concern about another person's life and
reputation, try their damnedest to destroy a person's livelihood, reputation and
life, with the flash of a double edge tongue! Vicious lies, rumor, and jealous
are wasted emotions. So why?-do they do this to someone they barely know?
Some kind of thrill, high, kicks? (How sick!)
Think if someone reversed this and did the same to you and your family
and personal life. How would you like that? So many people are quick to judge
someone so fast to pass judgment without knowing any or all of the true facts.
Why does this vicious "Gossip Mill" exist. Is it helping us reverse to the hate in
the world. (Gay People) is it helping us fight against discrimination in housing.
marriage, equal rights? Shouldn't you be using this wasted energy for these
needed! Much needed positive things to become reality for us!! We're all
Americans, yet, we don't have the same rights as straight America. Use your
energies to fight those causes, not each other!!
If we as gay America can't even get along with each other! Well that
just gives fuel to the Newts of the world, the Extreme Right, Fanatics! it

LETTERS continued next page

(SD UIE TIDPA~~)
Open Monday-Saturday- 6:00 pm - Sunday at 2:00 pm
616"' 935"' 1666 "'520 Franklin "'Traverse City, MI 49684

Proud I Ga Owned and O erated since 1989
13

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

took many of us half a life time to come out, and finally feel the freedom of
that. Don't let a handful of very disturbed people take that away from any
of us! I'm sure these few people I'm talking about know who they are!!
Before it's too late we need to build not destroy! Don't bring other peoples
lives down into your self-destructive decline! I hate to say this but this is
not the first time we have had a friend singled out for this type of behavior
in the TC Northern Michigan area and the stories are well traveled about
this typeofthinggoingon, so Listen-Up TC a lotofourfriends have moved
elsewhere, and a couple more are planning it too. I wonder why? - and
people wonder why no-one shows up at our community events or doesn't
travel in from rural places. That's why. The stories on peoples behavior
have circulated far and wide.
So-before you're so quick to judge, try, convict, someone! You think
you know but really don't!! Stop and think?
Do I know the person, at all? Do I know the facts? The truth? The
circumstances in their life? Even if you think you do, more times than not
you don't!
So mind your own life and business
"Peace"
Cameron & Deb
Ann Arbor, Michigan
P.S. We don't know if you'll print this, but all of us down-state with
friends up there sure hope so! Thanks.

y
Letter to the Editor:
Shafted By The President. .. Again!
I am a gay man, an active member in our community and a white
collar professional. I remember when Mr. Clinton was politicking to
be President of the United States and needed my gay vote. He pledged
he would work for me. He gave me cause for hope. At long last I would
no longer be a voice crying in the wilderness. Mr. Clinton vowed to be
my man in Washington. I voted for him because I naively believed he
was not taking me for a ride. Gosh, he sounded so genuinely sincere,
he made me feel good about being gay, he told me he believed in the
causes of my gay and lesbian family. I earnestly hoped that with Clinton
in the White House things would be different for me and my oppressed
family. Out of the closet into the light! Free at last, free at last, thank
God Almighty I would be free at last. What an energizing feeling! I

..,.

To the "Born-again-Pagan-Seeker"
Generalization is something that hurts homosexuals today more
than anything else. We are generalized as sex-addicts, perverts,
pedophiles, etc. Which is why it is so disturbing that a member of our
community generalizes such a large portion of us so carelessly and
arrogantly. As a child of the "Reagon Era," I was very insulted by your
arrogant generalization of my generation. No one who knows me would
ever accuse me of being "unopinionated" or of looking to someone else
for all the answers. There are many like me out there, just as there are
many like you have described. It is the easy and lazy way, to make such
broad statements. I could just as easily say that the children of the 60's
sold out or wasted their minds and bodies from experimentation.
However this is not 100% true, but for many it is.
Speaking of experimentation, it was not a 60's fad . It is something
every generation, to some degree or another, experiences. Almost
every teenager has pushed the limits to some extent. My generation,
was like all others in that respect.
Not all Pagans use sex as a ritual, or use sexual symbolism in their
rituals. I am a pagan and I use neither in my worship of Mother Earth

rtJtEl,fl6E

JenITees

tET_0S 1(.-fU IT ,f BETTER l(PRtP

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516 E. Eighth St.
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Letters continued next page

l)tffl/ 12 . 95
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

would be treated as an equal, I would be welcomed into the military,
I would have the top executive of the USA stand by me and assure me
that he too believed in my right to marry the person of my choosing.
Reality has set in for me. I got shafted yet one more time. Like so
many before him, I was being courted not because of who I am as a
gay man, but solely because I had something he wanted and needed ...
my vote. I gave it to him and I feel like a prostitute! Used again, lied to
again, lifted up only to be hurled down. That is until I can be sweet
talked into putting out just one more time. Well, the race is on. I refuse
to be used and abused by those who promise me the world and throw
me crumbs.
President Clinton says: Join the military as a gay person ... just
don't get caught. On same sex marriages, he opted: Oh, no I certainly
don't agree with same-sex marriages. Oh, how awful. You dirty
homosexuals wanting to live together as husband and wife. Even my
cat, Socks, knows better. On, equal rights for gays, not in my life time.
Well, the list goes on and on and on.
The bottom line is that President Clinton is saying to all gays and
lesbians: "You, just don't understand. I have to think of my political
career. Right now I have to go after the Catholic Vote, the Billy Graham
vote. Sorry, you are not a priority this time around." Were we ever?
Yes, I know the rheto~ic, the ploy to again get the gay vote: They say
look at the other option, Mr. Dole. Well, I have and he will get my
undivided support and vote come November. I urge all gays and
lesbians to have the integrity to give Mr. Dole a fair hearing. Mr. Clinton
took us for a ride, lied to us, played up to us and stiffed us royally. Only
a fool would be naive enough to put back into office someone who
hurled such abuse on our gay family. Will we ever learn?
Anonymous
Editor, I am unable for professional reasons to print my name.
subscribe to and am an avid reader of our magazine. I hope you have
the courage to print my letter in its entirety.

14

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

FRIENDS NORTH

DATES:

October 25-27, 1995

REGISTRATION DEADLINE:

September 24, 1996

CHECK-IN:
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After 4:00 pm
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DEPOSIT:
A $50.00 per hotel room deposit is required to confirm your reservations. Cancellations must be received at least 14 days prior to arrival. With 14 days notice of cancellation, a refund,
less $10.00 processing fee, will be issued. Deposits are non-refundable with less than 14 day notice
of cancellation.
ACCOMMODATIONS: Hotel rooms have either two double beds, queen size bed and double
sofa bed, or a king-size bed. All hotel rooms have a full bath, Spectra-Vision, satellite TV, and
telephone with voice mail. Your choice of accommodations are subject to availability.
RATES: $52.00 plus tax (6%) per room per night, single or double occupancy
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GAY AND LESBIAN HISTORY AND EDUCATION
Friends North, Inc.

October 15-27, 1996
Sugar Loaf Resort near Cedar, Michigan on the Leelanau Peninsula

WORKSHOPS
♦

Gays/Lesbians and the
♦

♦

Media ♦

Gay and Lesbian History

Diversity in Our Community

Lesbian/Gay Teachers

♦

♦

Spotlights ♦

Generational Issues

♦

Lesbian/Gay Rights Ordinances

♦

Conference Keynote Speaker: Beth Brant, Native American Lesbian Writer
Luncheon Keynote Speaker: Jerry Crane, Teacher from Byron Center
One Act Stage Readings
Dance on Saturday Night

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

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Please make all checks or money orders payable to Friends North, and mail the registration form with
fees by October 15, 1996 to: FRIENDS NORTH, PO BOX 562, TRAVERSE CITY, Ml 49685-0562.
Interpreter for the hearing impaired available: Please reserve by October 1, 1996
I can/cannot attend. and/but would like to help fund scholarships for others to attend.
Here is my donation of$ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Paid for by The Committee to Elect Thomas for Judge • Treasurer: Robert Brick
520 S. Union• P.O. Box 2007 • Traverse City, MI 49685 • 616-947-2217

• Practicing attorney for 13 years
• Circuit Court Referee, Wexford & Missaukee Counties for two
years• Judging and deciding child custody, visitation,
support, and other matters involving children in
divorce
• FRIENDS NORTH, INC. 's corporate attorney since its inception
• Past President of Grand Traverse-Leelanau-Antrim County Bar
Association
• RESPECT"I want to encourage respect for and from the legal system ... to
victims, criminal defendants, police officer, court personnel, the
judge ... all deserve respect."
"I want people to respect our legal process and to do that, the
process must respect them."

• VOTE on Tuesday, August 6, 1996. Your vote will make a
difference. Absentee ballots are available through your local
Township Clerk.

Government continued
and Father Sky. Sex is a special, joyous communication between my
partner and myself. It is sacred because it is respectful and responsible.
I don't really care how many words the Greeks had for love, this is not
important. I love my partner, which means I trust him, respect him,
cherish the time we have together, share my life, my soul, my secrets,
my goals, my mistakes, my joys and my pain with him as he does with
me. He is my friend, my confidant and at times my critic. Sex is not
what it is all about. It is about seeing each other as we look in the
morning-and still knowing that this is who I want to spend my life
with. It is about seeing the whole person, the real person. That is what
it is about.
I did not come out because of sex. I can have all the sex I want
(gay sex) and never come out. My coming out was about honesty,
integrity and happiness. Sex I could have, but without honesty and
integrity, without being true to oneself, that sex is full of shame,
degradation, and self-loathing. I came out to have a healthy (mentally
and physically) life with or without sex. Sex is not the begin al I end al I.
It is only a part of who I am. I do not need sex to feel like a homosexual.
I feel like a Homosexual when I walk down the street, when I eat, when
I shop, when I sleep, when I wake up, when I go to the bathroom, in
short I feel like a Homosexual 24 hours a day.
Being proud of who we are means being proud of all that we are,
we are sexual beings-and many other things as well. We are probably
the most diverse community in the world . But when one generalizes
one part of our community and insists that sex is all we are about, it
smacks of Homophobia not of pride.
Dan Miller
Traverse City, Michigan

Dear Ms. Reynolds,
I am writing in response to your editorial (enclosed) in the March
19th Traverse City Record Eagle. I to was very encouraged by the
support given to the Gaynor family with the recent cross burning
incident. Personally and as a member of the Traverse City Human
Rights Commission I also had the chance to speak out about this
horrible incident. The thing that concerns me is that while I spoke, and
as I try to end another type of discrimination, occurring in this country
and area, I can't but wonder how supportive the community would
have been if this had been a gay or lesbian family. These people, still
to this day, face discrimination and hate crimes every day of their lives,

with no protection from our government or laws. It is a fear they live
with everyday. If someone finds out they can lose their jobs, homes,
children with no recourse.
Ms. Renolds, I hope as a representative of the Civil Rights
Commission that when you are presenting your report from the Bias
Crime Response Task Force to Governor Engler you will include that
providing support for victims of all bias crimes will include gay/lesbian
citizens of this state.
Sincerely yours,
Pam J. Haley
Dear Ms. Haley:
Your recent letter to the Michigan Department of Civil Rights
director, Nanette Lee Reynolds was referred to me for response. I am
pleased to inform you that The Bias Crime Response Task Force will be
submitting a report to the Michigan Civil Rights Commission in May.
Subsequently, the report will be forwarded to the governor. The task
force report, as submitted, does provide support for all victims of bias
crimes, including gay and lesbian citizens of this state.
The task force established three standing committees: community
response; data collection and trend analysis; and victim support. These
three standing committees prepared a very comprehensive plan of
action with recommendations that address issues of hate-bias
incidents. In addition, these standing committees jointly prepared a
cooperative agreement that would establish a working relationship
between local communities and the Department of Civil Rights.
In response to this task force report, an invitation will be extended
to the Traverse City Human Relations Commission, and other human
relations commissions from across the state, to be an active partner,
with this department, in combating hate/bias incidents within Michigan
communities.
It takes a great deal of courage to speak out on an issue of such
controversy. I look forward to working with the people of Traverse City
in an ongoing effort to develop a state wide network to combat hate/
bias crimes and incidents.
I speak for Dr. Nan Reynolds in reiterating that the department staff
continues to be available as a resource to participate in related
community activities, and to lend our support and technical assistance
in ways that will be helpful.
Best regards,
Cathy Milett, Coordinator

T
Senator George McManus
Capitol Building
Lansing, Ml 48913
Dear Senator McManus,
My Scottish grandmother used to refer to the Irish as if they were
something of a subhuman race. As a kid, I mentioned it to a German
friend, and we both had a big laugh. It made no sense. To us, it seemed
so silly. Going a step further, he relayed how his mother used to refer
to the Italians as being, "not quite white." We had a big chuckle on
that one, as well. Boy were they ever dumb, we thought.

Letters continued next page
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

15

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Isn't it nice how often time can heal the wounds of the past? What
is deadly for one generation, can seem completely ludicrous to the
next. The bible belt had its share of problems giving up slavery. Who
would have believed that racial equality would become the law of the
land? After all, didn't they used to say that blacks were like animals?
One thing that can't be argued is the clearly subservient role that the
bible defines for women . I'll let you be the one to remind them of this.
Each generation has to deal with its own bigotry. Time that could
be used to do good, is instead wasted on hatred. Although we may be
more selective, we differ from the Serbs/Bosnians and all, primarily by
our choice of weaponry.
Every opportunity that I've had, I have voted for you. Johnson Oil
gave me one of your signs, and I proudly placed it on my "almost on
the interchange" lawn. Dr. David Darby has often told me about your
effectiveness at getting things done in Lansing, and your willingness to
listen. The boost that you have given horse racing has saved the sport,
and all the jobs that go with it. I couldn't have been happier with the
job that you've been doing. But... on the discriminatory anti-gay bill
that penalizes universities who pay benefits to same sex couples .. . you
really blew it!
Gay bashing is usually justified by three nonsensical arguments.
The first is choice.
"Don't they choose to be gay?' Only an idiot would choose to
shock his friends, horrify his parents, get legally fired from his job, and
risk physical assault from macho-bullies acting in the name of God.
Then, if it goes before a judge, he's apt to think, oh well, it was wrong,
but it was just a fag. Did you choose to be heterosexual? Could you
have chosen to be gay instead? Imagine what it must be like as a child
to be called a fag, queer, limp wrist, etc. Can you imagine how horrible
that must feel? No wonder that approximately 40% of teen suicides are
homosexual kids escaping from the anguish of a tormenting world.
What child would choose to be "a fairy"? Would a caring, loving,
sensitive God want us to react this way to one of his creations?
It's always amazing to me how individuals can take an inclusive
book of love, kindness, and tolerance, and turn it into an exclusive,
vindictive book of hatred. Hope that you're not reading this on a

Sunday as the bible prescribes death for that offense. Forget to shave
this morning? Good, you've overcome the sin of shaving. Remember
now, no shellfish, rabbit or pork. Strong drink? Forget that too. You
have paid cash for your house and cars? Also, you might mention to
the Governor and any of your divorced and re-married friends, that the
bible considers that to be adultery.
This Sunday, I'll be rollerski training to prepare for next ski season.
I'll do about 26 km (16 miles). Would you like to join us? It's my
normal, natural routine on Sunday. I just love it, although I'm sure that
it's not natural for most people. What is natural and where do we draw
the line? Do we draw a line at all? Some of us even appear to enjoy
golf! We humans are such a wonderfully diverse lot. It makes us what
we are, with the whole, being greater than the sum of the parts. But
diversity is not just limited to humans, every species of mammals has
homosexuals within its ranks. Do we respond by saying, "how awful,"
or, do we embrace and accept their contributions.
You have been presented with a wonderful opportunity to move
this generation a step away from the bigotry and hate of the past. A
chance to start healing the wounds. Will we be the subject of our
grandchildrens' ridicule, or will we be remembered as leaders doing
our best to relieve the suffering and injustice inflicted by the past? The
Germans are still apologizing to the Jews. Will the next generation be
forced to apologize for us? It's not just the support of lesbians and gays
that you'll gain, but also, the respect and the admiration of anyone with
a kind heart and a tolerant attitude. Let the bigots go, you don't need
them. Please re-consider your support of this homophobic,
discriminatory piece of legislation. It's unworthy of a leader like you.
Look into the faces of those seething proponents of hate, if you
have any remaining doubt. Is that where you want to be aligned. There
is a fundamental choice for al I of us. Why not choose love, caring, and
concern in the place of hatred and bigotry?
Sincerely yours,
David R. Forbush, D.V.M .

FRIENDS NORTH, INC,, P,O, Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, Ml 49685-0562
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16

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

WORDS AND MUSIC: A LOCAL GUIDE
TO BOOKS AND MAGS, TAPES & CD's
By Rick Gould

Here are some suggestions by our local book and music stores
for any lulls in your exciting summer!
Atthe Bookie Joint, Shelley gave us this list:
Books:
Cassel/i's Queer Quizbook by David Pollard, $4.95. Brainteasers and not-so-trivial pursuits of gay heritage.
The Ultimate Guide to Lesbian and Gay Film and Video, edited
by Jenni Olson. Info on more than 2,000 works of filn:i. $25.00.
Music:
Intimacy, Bruce Roberts. Roberts has written hits for Streisand
and many others. Hear, Elton John, James Ingram, Luther Vandross,
and k.d. lang sing along. Cassette: $10.98, CD: $16.98.
Global Divas is a panoramic collection of women vocalists from
around the world. 30 nations and 41 selections represent this theme.
Included: Piaf, Aretha, Varttina, Patsy Cline and more. Cassette:
$9.98; CD: $15.98.
Passionflower, Fred Hersch. A brilliant, gay jazz pianist has
crafted an exquisite album. Cassette: $10.98; CD: $16.98.
At AB CD's, Norm made these recommendations:
Duncan Sheik. This debut CD on Atlantic is one of the best in a
long time. Norm is getting everyone hooked on Duncan and I am
his latest disciple. Romantic and introspective, he's currently touring
with labelmate and Interlachen Alum, Jewel, who's own debut CD
isn't so bad, either.
Dilate, Ani Difranco. Righteous Babe herself delivers another
exceptional collection of cutting edge tunes. Notable cut: Shameless.
Mention you read it here and get Dilated for $13.99, for a limited
time, while current inventory lasts.
All For You, Diane Krall. A jazz tribute to Nat King Cole has
become a surprise hit.
Mission Impossible Soundtrack. Odd, 10 of the cuts on this
album are not in the film. Sorta like "Kiss From A Rose" in "Batman
Forever"! Oh, well. Massive Attack, Bjork, Skunk Anansie and
Longpigs contributes as well as the theme song, instrumental by
Danny Elfman.
B. Dalton's had these suggestions:
Whitman's Men--Walt Whitman with contemporary

J[L

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in NORTHERN MICHIGAN

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a woman's resort with 12 private
housekeeping rooms nestled on 7 acres
of secluded woods. Also in nearby Glen Arbor,
MARGE & JOANNE'S B&B
Open all year, no pets, WOMEN ONLY.
Near Traverse City. For info: Marge & Joanne's,
PO Box 457, Glen Arbor, MI 49636
(616) 334-3346.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

photographs. The Calamus poems from Walt Whitman's "Leaves of
Grass" shown at its purest and most spontaneous. The photographs
accentuate the themes: the search for love; loneliness and death.
$18.95.
The Sibling Society by Robert Bly. Drawing upon a diverse
assortment of poetry, myth, and current trends, Bly postulates that the
traditional concepts of childhood and adulthood have been lost. Bly
says that we have become a nation of one behaviour: adolescence.
Greed and envy have replaced moral values and hard work. The
book is intended as a wake up call to ourselves. $25.00.
Outrage by Vincent Bugliosi. This is the famed Charles Manson
prosecutor's Monday Morning quarterback look at the O.J. trial and
what went wrong. I think we know that already! $25.00.
At Horizon Books, Alex suggested the following:
And Say Hi To Joyce: The Life and Chronicles of a Lesbian
Couple by Deb Price and Joyce Murdoch. Both are in the newspaper
biz, and Deb has a column in the Detroit News. Finally out in paper.
$12.95.
Fodor's Gay Guide To The USA: The Most Comprehensive
Guide for Gay and lesbian Travelers by Andrew Collins. New and in
softcover: $19.50.
A Boy named Phyllis: A Surbaban Memoir by Frank Decaro. A
switch: a gay memoir that is funny and upbeat! Frank recalls growing
up different in his Italian New Jersey neighborhood in the 60s and
70s, remembering his favorite things: Elton John, disco, the
Entemann's factory on the corner, the unlived-in living room, Keith
Patridge worship and so much more! $22.95 .
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us this list:
Gay Olympian: The Life and Death of Tom Waddell by Tom
Waddell and Dick Schaap. This athlete did much to dispel
stereotypes of masculinity and sports. He was a revelation to
mainstream America when he appeared on 20/20 with his
partner to talk about Waddell's AIDS diagnosis. An inspiring
tribute. $23.00.
Heaven's Coast: A Memoir by Mark Doty. This award-winning
book by poet Doty is about the death of his lover from AIDS. Simple
and simply unforgettable. $23.00.
The Beauty Of Men by Andrew Holleran. The fine novelist's
lead character deals with the shame of mourning his own loss of
youth while others around him are dying young. This provocative
tale is also a universal one. $25.00.
These stores appreciate your business and suggestions.

• Over 35 km of trails, machine set for both skating and striding from,
beginner to expert.
• Just 1/ 4 mile east of 1-75 at the Lewiston/Frederic exit (264)
• Performance ski shop, rentals and instruction
• Bunkhouse and two warming areas
• Weekend food service
• One kilometer night ski trail
P.O . Box 327
4971 County Road 612
Dave Forbush
Frederic, Michigan 49733
(51 7) 348-5989

17

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

IN FOCUS

PERRY WATKINS
1served, withpride, honoranddistinction, from induction lo rehiemenl An A/dean
American, who is homosexual. I am the first to do so and there is no reason I
shouldbe the lasl quite like the mnner who broke the /0111 minute mile, to improve
on his effort, the s11ccessfll/ ones studied his techniques. ._Per,y J. Walkins
Sergeant A"rsl Class U.S. Army (Rel1ied) in a /el/er lo President Clinton.
by Morgan Gwenwald
Before we ever heard that phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," Sgt. Perry
Watkins was not only telling, he was performing regular drag acts while
serving in the U.S. Army. Despite his recent death, the story of Perry
Watkins and his struggle with the U.S. Government lives on as one of
the most remarkable chapters in our fight for inclusion in the military.
Perry was drafted into the Army in 1968 at the height of the
Vietnam war. On his official forms he checked the box "yes" in
acknowledgment of his homosexual tendencies. He described his
enlistment experience:
... as the examining physician held my Report of Medical History form
in his hands and asked me, "What does this mean?" pointing to the
block I had checked "yes." I said, "It means just what it says." He then
asked, "And what is that?" With six other people present and
listening, I said, "It means that I am homosexual." I made my
statement with pride and dignity without shame or fear. I was
immediately sent to an Army psychiatrist, who believed humiliation
was part of the evaluation process. I was asked about sexual conduct,
and acknowledged both oral and anal activity ... I was ultimately
found qualified for service and drafted in May of 1968.
Perry went on to negotiate his way of serving with pride and
professionalism, being open about his sexuality to the chain of
command and his fellow soldiers, and demanding the same respect
and protection afforded all soldiers. He re-enlisted several times and
served successfully for the next fourteen years. Within that time he
also performed for the Army as "Simone," his drag persona.
Then in 1982 the Department of Defense issued a directive
dictating "homosexuality incompatible with military service," and
claiming it undermined discipline, good order, and morale. At this
period the Army moved to expel Perry, and discharged him three
years later when his enlistment expired.
Perry fought this decision with the help of the ACLU over the next
several years in Watkins v. U.S. Army. In 1989 a federal appeals court
ordered him reinstated to active duty, reasoning that if the army
drafted him and repeatedly re-enlisted him knowing he was gay, then
they couldn't discharge him for being gay. The Justice Department
appealed the decision but the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear
the case and let stand the decision of the lower court. Perry thus
became the first openly gay serviceman to defeat the ban against gays
in the military. He settled his suit with the Army, agreeing to forgo reentry to the military in return for back pay, honorable discharge, full
retirement benefits, and a promotion to sergeant first class.
Perry's groundbreaking story was told in a 1994 documentary
entitled "Sis: The Perry Watkins Story." Perry went on making public
appearances around the country, talking about his experience in the
armed forces. Nothing so clearly and irrefutably displayed the Army's
hypocrisy around its gay and lesbian policy as Perry's case.

On March 17, 1996 Perry J. Watkins died of AIDS-related
complications in his home in Tacoma, Washington, at age 47. He is
remembered by GLAAD as a soldier who was asked and who DID
tell, and served anyway; who wore his uniform and his drag outfits
with equal pride. He was a courageous role model for gay men and
lesbians not only in the military, but in all parts of society.

GAY TEEN APPEALS
FOR HELP AT SCHOOL
* Board delays action to ban harassment
By Dan Shine, (Reprinted from the Detroit Free Press)
Allen Park, Ml- The Allen Park School Board delayed action Monday
on revising a policy that forbids, among other things, harassment of
students because of sexual orientation. The issue was brought up at
a May meeting when the mother of 14-year-old Joshua Winowiecki
asked the board to protect her son from harassment by other students
at Allen Park High School.
About two months earlier, Joshua had told a friend that he was gay.
After word got out, Joshua was spit on by students, called names, had
pictures of naked men tossed at him and stones thrown at him. The boy,
his mom, a civil rights attorney and members of area gay and lesbian
groups attended the May 13 school board meeting. They said the family
would sue unless the board acted to stop the harassment.
The Allen Park situation reflects a growing trend nationwide as
school districts struggle with how to protect gay and lesbian students
from harassment. School board member Robert Bratten on Monday
night Uune 3) asked for the delay to further study the policy's proposed
wording. The board will address the issue again June 10. Board
members unanimously agreed, angering many attending the standingroom-only meeting held at Allen Park High School. 'Shame on you,'
said Raymond Salliotte 111, Joshua's attorney. 'It's a sad day in Allen Park.'
Joshua said he was disappointed by the board's action, noting
that he 'still hears comments every day.' Some victims of such abuse
have taken their cases to court. Patricia Logue, an attorney for
Lambda Legal Defense Fund in Chicago, represents a former
Wisconsin high school student. Jamie Nabozny and his parents sued
the Ashland, Wis ., district last year in federal court, claiming it had

1969 S. Airport Road West• Traverse City fax 616-941-1158 • Ph 616-941-2298

NE'IWORKING 45°NORTH

18

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

not protected him from antigay harassment. Logue said gay and
lesbian students 'should have a safe learning environment, regardless

these occasions, however, the officers made it clear he could avoid a beating

of what you think of that student.'

"It seemed impossible for me to hide the fact that I am gay," said Fedetov,
a dark-haired, dark-eyed, clean cut youth who was also victimized because

NOTE: Allen Park High School, 18401 Champaign, Allen Park,
Ml 48101
Triangle Foundation (Gay and
Lesbian Anti-violence
organization), 19641 W. 7 Mile Road, Detroit, Ml 48219, 313-5373323

if he agreed to pay a bribe.

of his half-Armenian heritage and appearance. "I do not generally tell people
I am gay, but they seem to be able to tell from the way I dress in certain
American blue jeans and T-shirts, from the way I carry myself and from other
gay friends I am often with."
"I had heard that in Los Angeles, gay people can live free from
persecution. It was my dream to come to the United States, where I could live
freely."
After getting an exit visa for travel to Mexico, and working months to

L.A. GAY & LESBIAN CENTER WINS
LANDMARK AsYLUM CASE FOR
PERSECUTED RUSSIAN YOUTH

afford a plane ticket out of the country, he flew to Mexico City in December,
1995. From there he rode to Tijuana in a bus. Before he could enter the United
States at San Ysidro he was robbed of all his money.
Days later, while attempting to get to Los Angeles, he was captured by
INS officials at the San Clemente checkpoint for entering without a visa and

FIRST DECISION BY A JUDGE

transferred to their detention facility at Terminal Island. Expecting to be
deported but looking for support during his confinement, he found a phone
book ad for the Gay & Lesbian Center's Youth Talkline. Counselors there,

GMNG SEXUAL ORIENTATION-BASED AsYLUM TO A RUSSIAN
LOS ANGELES, May 19, •1996 -

A 23-year-old gay Russian man,

beaten and jailed in his home country because of his sexual orientation, is

having difficulty communicating with him, referred him to a Russian Gay &
Lesbian Support Group ,w hich put him in touch with the City of West

now a free man living in West Hollywood, thanks to a landmark asylum case
won by the Immigration Law Project of the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian

Hollywood's Russian liaison, Eugene Alper.
Fedetov was unaware that persecution based on one's sexual orientation

Community Services Center.
A native of a smal I town 400-m i les northeast of Moscow, Sergey Fedetov
was beaten, interrogated and/or jailed by police officials, and threatened by

was grounds for asylum, but Alper suspected he had a good case. He quickly
contacted the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project which
took the case on January 22, 1996.

school officials, on as many as 15 occasions.
"They arrested me because they could tell I was gay and they do not
think we should be alive or in Russia," said Fedetov, through an interpreter.

According to attorney Cheryl Gertler, one of two volunteer attorneys
who worked on the case, Fedetov was very reluctant to provide details about

"Although the Russian government recently repealed the law outlawing
homosexuality, this has not changed the mistreatment by the police and other

the extensive abuse he faced in Russia.

Russian people. If anything, the increasing anarchy in my country has made

and saddened to realize that Sergey had accepted as normal the beating and

it worse."
On one occasion, Fedetov and a friend were arrested by three officers

harassment he had endured simply because he is gay."

"During the course ofourquestioning him," said Gertler, "I was shocked

As compelling as Fedetov's case was, the Gay & Lesbian Center's

because they were "obvious homosexuals." At the police station he was

Immigration Law Project Coordinator, Jeff Kim, and the Project's two

thrown around, slapped in the face, and hi ton the back with a "demokratiser''

volunteer attorneys, Gertler and John Craig, knew they were facing an uphill

(rubber baton) by an interrogator who ordered him to reveal the names of

battle.

other gay people. When he refused, he was jailed in a small cell with three

"Sexual orientation-based asylum is extremely difficult to attain," said

other people for more than nine hours without food or water.
Upon his release, Fedetov was interrogated by officials at his high school,

Kim. "Only 36 have been granted in the entire country and never had a judge
awarded asylum to a Russian on this basis. When the judge deported three
people prior to Sergey's hearing, we were very nervous."
"We were successful only through the combination of Sergey's

who learned he was gay from the police. The school officials threatened to
have him registered as a juvenile delinquent if he did to change his behavior.
Of the six times he was taken into custody by police, only once did he

compelling account of persecution, the dedicated teamwork of extraordinary
volunteer attorneys, top-notch expert testimony, and able assistance from the

avoid a severe beating. On the occasions he was not arrested, he and his
friends were taunted by the authorities, who would yell insults and demand

City of West Hollywood's Russian community liaison and the San Francisco-

the names of other gay people. They would also make a scene, so as to let

based International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission."

neighbors and passersby know he was gay. The harassment of gay people
was too much for one of his friends, who ended his life by jumping from the

"Since I fled the country, I know that I would have faced even more
severe persecution by governmental authorities if I were returned to Russia,"
said Fedetov. "I'm very grateful to the Gay & Lesbian Center, my attorneys,

ninth floor of a building.
The police also "warned" his mother of his behavior and surprised him

Eugene and all those who have been so kind to me. I believe they have saved

at home once a month to intimidate him and demand information about other

my life."

gay people.
This abuse of gay people was not unique to his hometown. After moving

Though Fedetov has his freedom now, he has little else. The Gay &
Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project is in the process of getting him a
work permit, but meanwhile he is in need of basic items such as clothing,

to Moscow in June, 1984, to earn enough money to flee to the United States,
he was stopped and detained by police officials on at least five occasions. On

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

19

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

toiletries, shoes, and money. For information on how you can help, call 213860-7350.
The mission of the Gay & Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project is to
offer legal assistance to lesbian and gay immigrants and immigrants with HIV.
Nearly 300 people were helped last year and more than 450 people are
expected to be served this year.
The Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Community Services Center, with more
than 240 employees and an annual budget of $18 million, is the largest gay
and lesbian organization in the world, one of the nation's leading HIV/AIDS
care providers and equal rights advocates, and home to an array of free or
low cost health, educational, cultural and social programs welcoming 14,000
visits from ethnically diverse youth and adults each month.

It is not necessary to talk [about being gay in Spain].
Everybody is tolerant. People are not classifled with that, and
you know, I absolutely refuse that classiflcation. For that
reason when someone says, Well you are an openly gay
director,' come on. Stop. I'm a director. 11

By Susan Estrich

GAY MARRIAGE BATTLE ABOUT WHO

_i;;r1'\:c~

OurHopeorGoal ... ls
t o ~
promote unity within the Little Traverse
~
..-.~
Bay Gay Community.
~......-..:;
~

--......

The Petoskey Group is expanding, and
would like your input, ideas and suggestions ...
The list that follows are some of our ideas ...

~

BOWLING TEAMS ... CAMPING ... WOMEN'S AND MEN'S CHOIRS ...
ALTERNATIVE SINGING GROUPS ... GAY SUPPORT GROUPS ... GAY
M GROUPS ... COOKING & BAKING... GARDENING... AooPT-AHIGHWAY... HIKING ... BIKING... WALKING ... GAY SERVICES...
COMPILE A REsOURCE GUIDE ... QUILTING GROUPS ... AEROBICS
CLASSES ... SomALL TEAMS ... DART LEAGUES ... WELCOME
WAGONS ... BOOK ExCHANGES ... VIDEO EXCHANGES ... GoLF
TEAMS ... YOURS HERE.
This is your opportunity to be part of something very
positive ... Any and all are asked to respond with your suggestions
to either:
Tim Evans @ 1-616-348-8151
Larry Rogers

@

1-616-348-1622 Day Time
1-616-347-7123 Evenings/Weekends

Dan Doran

@

1-906-635-9263

June Weber

@

1-517-732-4144

NE1WORKING 45° NORTH

Over the last few months there have been hundreds, perhaps
thousands, of articles and opinions on same-sex marriage in
newspapers around the country. It all began getting attention right
around the Iowa primary, when some notable Republicans suggested
that America adopt a "Defense of Marriage" stance.
Following this, many states have banned same-sex marriage and
almost all others have debated the issue. The US Congress has even
introduced their own bills that would condemn gay marriage while
touting hetersexual marriages. I pulled the following opinions and
fragmented articles to give you an idea of what is being said in
defense of 'marriage for everyone.'

USA TODAY-COUNTERPOINTS COLUMN

• -Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar

PETOSKEY GROUP

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE:
THE RESPONSE

WE ARE

LOS ANGELES- Was I the last one to learn that Dennis Rodman was
a cross-dresser? Or to .wonder how a country that celebrates him as a
hero could also embrace the much-married hypocrites who have
been touting the Marriage Defense Act for their own political gain?
I don't blame President Clinton for announcing up front that he'd sign
a totally unnecessary bill of dubious constitutionality which contradicts
every conservative principle of federalism. What choice did he have? We
all know the Republicans would have wrapped this one around his neck
if he didn't sign it; can you even imagine the 30-second ads?
But the legislation - which would deny federal benefits to same-sex
couples - is still a disgrace. What are we so afraid of? That being gay- being
the object of public derision, Satanic denunciation and widespread
discrimination - will now be too attractive to our kids because the state of
Hawaii might allow them court-authorized marriages?
Granting two people a license under civil law does not mean we
approve of the union, but that we leave such decisions to the
individuals, their families and their God. The difference between our
religious beliefs and civil law is the definition of tolerance.
The real script here is political, and gays are just the latest pawns.
Single-sex marriage makes sense in these terms. It's a classic wedge
issue. You force the president to alienate some of his supporters. You
divide Democrats, depress gay participation, and win points for
values. What could go wrong?
Maybe we're better than they think. In the end, the real issue
posed by the legislation is not your view of single-sex marriage, but
your tolerance of nasty political mud fights at the expense of those
whose votes aren't being sought. It's not really about them. It's about
the rest of us. Americans may not like gay marriage, but we don't like
gay-bashing either.

THE BOSTON GLOBE
ELLEN GOODMAN COLUMN
BOSTON-Memo to the Congress: Thanks for thinking of me, but I
don't need you to defend my marriage. My husband and I can handle
that ourselves.

20

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Spare me "The Defense of Marriage Act" label on a bill banning
same-sex marriages. The name implies that the value of heterosexual
marriages goes down once you let homosexuals into the institution.
There goes the neighborhood.
I don't buy this realtor's view of relationships. Gay and lesbian
couples who want to wed aren't trying to assail the grounds for
marriage. They're trying to share them. If anything, they want to
stabilize the gay community.
This defense act dreamed up by the Republican right is a
mischievous, gratuitous attempt to find a wedge in the political tool
box. And now that President Clinton has promised to sign it, we ought
to call it The Protection of Political Flank Act.
That said, I still want to ask how we ever got to the point where
the dominant gay rights issue of 1996 is marriage. You couldn't pick
a more volatile terrain .
We are all over the map on gay rights issues. There are places in
America where it is still illegal to have same-sex sex, let alone
marriage.
On Tuesday the Supreme Court ruled that a state couldn't ban
civil rights protections for homosexuals. But that isn't the same as
extending their rights. Even so, the ruling entailed a knock-down fight
between justices that had Scalia sputtering about gays with "high
disposable income" and "political power much greater than their
numbers."
(Dear Antonin: If you want them to lose some of that high
disposable income, encourage them to raise kids.)
Frankly, the wedding alarm bells sound like a diversion. There's
lots of good old-fashioned discrimination going around in housing
and jobs. There are plenty of hate crimes. And if you think that the
issue of gays in the military has been resolved, don't ask and don't
tel I them that.

THE WASHINGTON POST

federal recognition of same-sex marriages. That a conservative court
would take up the issue of homosexual rights for the first time in a
decade and then rule in gays' favor is clear reason to celebrate. That
a Democratic president would then seemingly knock us back down
is, well, reason to celebrate too.
What's going on here? We're a gay couple, so how could we be
cheering a president who claims to be for gays but against gay
marriage? How could two women, together for seven years, applaud
a White House decree that seems to so baldly undermine our
relationship?
The gay movement's top ranks don't see it this way, but Clinton
has displayed tactical skill by not grabbing the political bait
conservatives were offering. Congressional Republicans had hoped
to cast Clinton as a social extremist by introducing anti-gay legislation
in an election year on the theory that a president who supported gays
in the military would surely embrace gays in matrimony. He didn't,
and the movement could someday have that to thank him for.
Thank him because Clinton's cunning may be the only thing
saving the gay movement's broader civil rights agenda. The Supreme
Court ruling opened a door to possible change, but gays can still be
denied a job, refused a mortgage or rejected for health benefits solely
on the basis of who they return home to at night. Now, suddenly, the
fractious issue of same-sex marriage has erupted into the most critical
issue defining gays in this country and their rights as citizens. And if
the movement's chances of achieving more basic legal protections
end up being forfeited because gay marriage has taken center court,
we have only ourselves to blame.
Whether gay marriage is a good or bad thing is not so much the
point. What should concern gays is that their leadership has played
masterfully into conservative hands by allowing this to become the
chief emblem of their cause.

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Sunday, June 16, 1996

GAY MARRIAGE TRAP

Friday June 7,

7996

GAY RIGHTS ADVOCATES QUESTION EFFORT TO
DEFEND SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

*We Fell Into a Right-Wing Ambush

By DAVID W. DUNLAP
Fearing a political battle that will divert attention from what they
regard as more critical issues - and one that will ultimately be lost
- some influential homosexuals are questioning the high-profile
campaign by major gay groups to defend same-sex marriage.

By Liz Spayd and Brigid Quinn
IN THE same week the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that gays
cannot be categorically singled out for discrimination, President
Clinton announced his intention to sign legislation that would deny

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21

LINDA L. WIKLE
Agent

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

In the heat of a presidential campaign, an issue that lesbian and
gay organizers had planned to advance much more deliberately has
suddenly become a top priority.
"The Defense of Marriage Act is an out-of-control freight train
and will be darn near impossible to stop," said David Smith, the
communications director for the Human Rights Campaign, a national
gay group. "We're treating it as an anti-gay attack and we're going to
fight it tooth and nail until the bitter end."
That all-out strategy concerns other gay-rights advocates, who
have tried not to break ranks publicly but have conceded in interviews
that they are troubled by the way in which the issue is playing out.
"The gay and lesbian movement is marching down the wrong
path and running a disastrous course," said Keith Boykin, executive
director of the National Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum in
Washington. "We don't have public support. We don't even have
unanimity within the gay and lesbian community."
Paula Ettelbrick, legislative counsel to the Empire State Pride
Agenda, a political group in New York state, said, "It doesn't seem
worth it to put all our eggs in the marriage basket."
"Everything is being judged as good or bad according to one issue,"
Ms. Ettelbrick added. "That's very dangerous for us politically."
Even those in the gay rights movement who question the current
political strategy agree that it would be ideal if the rights, benefits and
responsibilities of civil marriage were extended to couples of the same sex.
Marriage so swiftly became the emblematic gay rights issue of
the season that lesbian and gay organizers were left with little time
to build political alliances.
"We have lost - if, in fact, we ever had - the luxury of
deliberation and reflection," said Kathryn Kendell, the legal director
of the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco. "We are
now fighting for our political life."
"What we needed to learn from the military fight is that we have
to build more political power before we win any gay issue on a
national level," said Urvashi Vaid, who wrote "Virtual Equality: The
Mainstreaming of Gay and Lesbian Liberation," which was published
last year by Anchor Books.
"We didn't pick this fight," said Robert Knight of the Family
Research Council in Washington. "The only reason there is this
legislative activity is because homosexual activists have tried to
impose their agenda through judicial fiat."

INTERNATIONAL UPDATE
-Staffwriter

.,.,GAY MARRIAGE" BILL BECOMES LAW
The Althing, Iceland's legislative assembly, has (on 4 June 1996)
made law a bill which in effect gives the go-ahead to gay marriage.
Under the new law, homosexuals in officially registered 'confirmed
cohabitation' are granted the same rights and duties, with certain
exceptions, as married heterosexual couples.
Although generally seen as a major piece of human rights
legislation, some in Iceland's gay community allege that the new law
leaves legalised anti-gay discrimination intact. Such claims centre on
the law's clauses which deny homosexuals in recognised
cohabitation the right to adopt children or to avail of artificial
insemination technology. (from the Iceland Review)

CANADA TO EXTEND SAME-SEX
PARTNER HEAL TH BENEFITS
OTTAWA - Canada's human rights tribunal ruled Thursday that
the federal government must extend health benefits to same-sex
partners of government employees.
"We have said all along that it was discriminatory to deny benefits
to those in a same-sex relationship while extending the same benefits
to heterosexual couples," Canadian Human Rights Commission chief
commissioner Maxwell Ya Iden said in a news release.
The tribunal's decision was based on complaints by two federal
employees against the departments of Immigration and Foreign
Affairs .
The two alleged that they were discriminated against on the basis
of sexual orientation when their applications for benefits for their
same-sex partners were denied.
"Lesbian and gay employees contribute to the same workplace
benefit plans as heterosexuals. We are entitled to receive the equal
benefit of those plans. Today's ruling is a milestone for us," said Stan
Moore, a foreign service officer and one of the plaintiffs.
Canada's parliament recently passed a bill to add sexual
orientation to the Canadian Human Rights Act, thus banning
discrimination against homosexuals in federal agencies and federally
regulated companies.

continued next page

•

I

(616) 941-8868
!Fwc (616) 941-9063

of

•:J{rs 9am-7pm Vaily • Out
town pftone 800-876-8868
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22

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Pro erty of the Ct:mer

1

Univiliill~ll lilfii~i~llH1[1i11mi1~11imi11d,

OK

Triangle continued

M 001 111 471

Thursday's tribunal ruling was based, however, on a 1992
decision by the Ontario Court of Appeal that the Canadian Human
Rights Act can be interpreted to cover sexual orientation .
"This decision only applies to federal public servants. But if a
similar case would go to a tribunal involving an airline or a railroad,
which are federally regulated companies, we'd hope it would be the
same kind of decision," said Canadian Human Rights Commission
spokeswoman Donna Balkan.
She added that most federally regulated private companies
already provide benefits for same-sex couples.
"For example most of the major banks, the (Canadian
Broadcasting Corporation), Bell Canada, Air Canada,.already provide
these benefits. So we don't have very many cases at this point,"
Balkan said.

HUNGARY'S GAYS
WELCOME LAW ON RIGHTS
BUDAPEST, Hungary - In early May, Hungary's gay community
welcomed a new law giving homosexuals and heterosexuals equal
legal and financial rights in long-term relationships, but said there
was still room for improvement.
The Hungarian parliament passed the amendment to its Civil
Code Tuesday by 207 votes to 73. There were five abstentions.
"We welcome the fact that parliament passed this law," Geza
Juhasz of the gay organization Szivarvany (Rainbow) " But I don't
think this proves that most MPs are more enlightened."
Opposition politicians voting against the amendment said it
contradicts Hungary's values and public opinion.
"The law was actually imposed on parliament by the
Constitutional Court," Juhasz said, adding that his organization said
it was too early to talk of same-sex marriages.
"(Gay marriage) might become possible in a few years' time, but
probably only in a legal construction giving actual marriage rights but
using a different name," Juhasz said.
He added that while there has been notable improvement in gay
rights during the last years, the process was very slow.
Hungarian legislation on homosexuality was relatively liberal,
even in the communist era. While some other communist countries
punished consenting adult homosexuals, Hungarian law only did so
where one partner was under 18, the legal age of consent for
homosexuals.

President Nelson Mandela's party reached agreement on May
7th with the white-led main opposition party on a new constitution,
ensuring its passage as promised two years after the end of apartheid.
A bill of rights would guarantee the rights to adequate housing,
food, water, education and health care, all of which were denied the
black majority during the apartheid era. It also would ban
discrimination on the basis of race, gender, sexual orientation, age,
pregnancy or marital status.

RUSSIA'S GAYS
VOTE AGAINST COMMUNIST PARTY
MOSCOW- Russia's gays and lesbians said that a communist
victory in a presidential election on June 16 would have been a
tragedy for the country.
"Under no circumstances would we have voted for Russian
communist leader Gennady Zyuganov," lnterfax news agency quoted
the head of the gay and lesbian movement Roman Kalinin as saying.
"A Communist president would be a tragedy not only for us, gays and
lesbians, but for the ~hole of Russia."
Zyuganov was the strongest challenger to President Boris Yeltsin
in the election.
Kalinin, who said the movement represented five percent of
Russia's 150 million population, spoke after its congress in Moscow,
which was closed to the press.
Under the old Soviet rules, gays faced jail terms of up to seven
years under a law banning male homosexual acts which was
repealed only in 1993. WGays still face strong prejudice in Russian
society and most lead an underground lifestyle.
In early July, Boris Yeltsin was declared the winner in this year's
Presidential election. (See related story: Russian Youth Given
Asylum elsewhere in this issue-Editor)

2.1 MICHICiAN
WOMYN*S
MUSIC
FESTIVAL
11

August 13-18. 1996
Come ond ioin us as we

BLAIR SIGNALS DEAL ON GAYS

begin our third

By Michael White, The Guardian

decade of

LONDON-Tony Blair signalled yesterday that an incoming
Labour government would negotiate "proper codes of conduct with
the military" over the acceptance of gays and lesbians in the armed
forces - designed to reconcile concerns on both sides.
Gay lobbists expressed dismay that the Labour leader - unlike
1O shadow cabinet colleagues - abstained rather than support
Edwina Currie's amendment to the Armed Forces Bill which would
have put homosexual and heterosexual conduct on the same
disciplinary footing in the ranks.

NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH

SOUTH AFRICA GOVERNMENT
PROTECTS GAYS AND LESBIANS

w oods,
the music,
the extravagant
days and
star-filled nights .. .
the womyn and
magic of Michigan.

23

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Carol continued from page 9

to discover her identity as a lesbian.
"As I got more healthy I was able to identify these issues. So then
I got involved with the Out 'n About Coffeehouse, which actually
started as a group of women who got together as a discussion group
initiated by Loraine Anderson after she wrote the article in which she
came out in the Record-Eagle. There was a group of about ten of us
who got together to discuss the issues surrounding homophobia,
internal and external. After a few meetings we came up with the
concept of how networking and community really helps-especially
for those of us who are up in the woods ... homophobia can be
exacerbated by being isolated-that's one aspect of it. So our
discussion groups came to the topic of 'Why don't we have a
coffeehouse?"'
And so they did it at Unity Church. Women came from all over,
and the coffeehouse is now starting its third year of meeting one
Saturday night a month.
"That was probably the start of my active career in the gaylesbian community here. The coffeehouse put me in touch with a lot
more lesbians in the comm~nity and other people and that's how I
first discovered Friends North, who they were and what they did, and
the Newsletter. And now here I am-on the board-and then I
accepted the responsibility of being president until the end of the
year. I think we've had a really good leadership person in Jim."
Carol noted that the board has spent a lot of time just with
housekeeping issues because of several resignations and so has not
focused on anything new so far this year.
"I'm still getting to know the organization and its history. It has
been primarily a social organization ... but I'd like to see us be a bit
more political and maybe take on some new avenues of expression
as an organization. One thing I am seeing is that with P-FLAG,
GLSTN, the Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse, and Friends North
there's a scattered attempt at a gay-lesbian community, but I'd like to
see it be more cohesive. We have so many different personalities
involved and so many different goals and no real money to do
anything with ... We need a center, even if it just starts out with a
room-maybe I'll use my basement, I don't know-a couple of file
cabinets, and a telephone."
"My experience at the Creating Change Conference (last fall in
Detroit) is that is how a lot of places started-with Zero, Zippolajust energy and some really dedicated people and now some of them
have million dollar budgets! And with the growth of our (Grand
Traverse) community I think it is a possibility-a central place for the
newsletter, the telephone line, a resource library, coffeehouse,
meetings, etc. That is something to look forward to."
We got back to the subject of coming out.
"Nathan has just come along with me in my recovery and
uncovering my sexuality. He was about 13-terrible age for a kid (to
be hit with this) and he was pretty angry at first but I was just very
honest with him. It came to a head and he said 'You're not who I
thought you were' and I said 'I'm not who I thought I was. But
regardless, I am your mother and I love you and will never, never do
anything that would hurt you ... He cried and I cried ... "
"It was a challenge for him to face his friends and what they

NFIWORKING 45°NORTH

24

Carol looking very
glamorous in the
crotchof a tree.

might say and how he felt about it and yet I never would pretend in
front of his friends ... He had his friends come over to spend the night
and it was OK ... "
Carol nearly ran the car off the road one night when this dialogue
took place in the back seat:
Nathan:
Jeff:
Nathan:
Jeff:

Hey Jeff, did you know my Mom's a lesbian?
Yeah, right, and I'm Johnny Carson.
No, really.
Oh, really. Oh, that's cool.

"And then they started talking about Nintendo, or something. I
had no idea he was going to say this-much less in front of me. I
could imagine them talking in their bedroom ... "
Carol came out to her mother quite soon after she figured it out
for herself.
"But I do remember an incident years ago: I had a crush on one
of my teachers in fourth grade. I talked about her constantly. My mom
said to me 'You know, the way you talk about her I'd think you were
in love with her.' And the way she said it I knew I'd better not talk
about this any more. I can remember it was clear as yesterday. It was
almost like being whacked. What have I done now!"
"So, I eventually came out to the rest of my family, my brothers
and my sister and they all said 'Oh, well, we figured that anyway.'
No one was surprised-not really. I had done all the standard things
when I was growing up. I was married for a while, and I lived with
Nathan's father for a few years."
"And I've noticed this phenomenon with women who have
known pretty much all their lives about their lesbianism ... they've
grown up with the homophobia and the fear that used to be more
prevalent, I feel, then it is today. And with women like myself who
have more recently discovered their lesbianism, I didn't grow up with
that fear. I didn't live with it for 40 years. I don't know it as much. It's
a lot easier for me to be more vocal and out at work with my coworkers. At least that's one of my personal theories ... I'm certainly
grateful to be where I am today.

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996



P,·Jp":rty of the Cent~r
THE NEWSLETTER OF ,..F.Rl!N~;:~;;~~~~-~- INC.,

an association of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and their friends.

R

,..... ;.......

. . ..... .......

,,.{; >..

VOLUME

10

•

ISSUE

K

4

N

•

JULY

•

AUGUST

G

•

1996

5!:ti::0Wk,w----------------------------------TRAVERSE CITY TURNS ITS BACK
ON GAYS/LESBIANS:
-HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION LOSES POWER
Jim Poole

seems to me that you're bringing that much more involvement in
that we might be able to avoid," Thompkins said.
Each commissioner spoke before voting on amending the
personnel policy to include sexual orientation. Here are some
comments from each commissioner:

In a June 17 meeting the Traverse City City Commission
voted 4 to 3 to reject a proposal by the Human Rights
Commission (HRC) to amend the city personnel Taylor:
nondiscrimination policy to include the words "sexual
orientation." In opposition were Commissioners Jasper Weese,
Shelley Kester, Jack Tompkins, and Phil Orth. In support were
Commissioners Lary Hardy, Jack Boynton, and Mayor Peter Boynton:
Taylor. In an identical vote that followed, the city commission
passed a motion by Shelley Kester to give the city commission
the option to review claims of discrimination before sending
them to the Human Rights Commission. Under the original
policy, the city commission automatically referred claims of
discrimination appealed by the city manager to the HRC, Hardy:
which would then investigate the claim, perform mediation,
and report their findings to the city commission.
The new policy will now allow the city commission to Kester:
reject a claim based on sexual orientation without any
investigation or mediation by the HRC. Commissioner Kester
said that the HRC may not be adequately trained to handle
some claims. "My concern is I don't know of anyone on the
commission (and maybe someone can advise me of anyone) Tompkins:
having skills in employment issues," she said.
Commissioners Hardy and Boynton said that having the
city commission take claims could leave cases open for public
debate. "If it comes here it's going to be a community affair
before you ever get started," said Hardy. He also said that
Orth:
people may not make claims for fear of being exposed in public
meetings.
"If it becomes a matter of debate with us each time to
make our own individual decision as to whether or not it
goes to the HRC, I think that's unnecessary and
Weese:
counterproductive," Boynton said.
Commissioner Tompkins said that the HRC could be used as
an advisory body under the city commission's discretion. "It

"So long as there are intolerant people, I believe, in
the world, that's the very reason why we need to
have the words 'sexual orientation' included in this
policy."
"I think that this proposal is a poor second. I have
been on record for not liking lists." "It requires
people to keep coming before us to petition us for
rights which I think they were born with and are
inalienable."
"We've got to be fair, we've got to be just, and
they've got to know that they're not going to be
discriminated against."
"I think the policy we have right now is working, and
I'm going to support the continuation of what we've
been doing, which is continue to hire gay and lesbian
people."
"If we make changes in the policy, I think it implies
to the community, and implies to Richard (Lewis)
that we think maybe something isn't quite the way it
should be in our organization, and that maybe there
is some discrimination."
"(If we expect our elected officials to be absent of
values or standards), we're going to run into a lot of
difficulty not only at this level, but at levels of
government though be it state or the federal levels or
any others."
"I can not support this motion or any motion that has
to do with forcing their lifestyle on me or me forcing
mine on their's."

Richard Tuxbwy

Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N
information.)

FROM THE EDITOR

FRIENDS NORTII is an organization oflesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and
their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. Located in Traverse
City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
and a community needs fund for financial assistance.

Ah, summer, when life is supposed
to slow down enough to enjoy
everything that we missed the rest of the
year. But, lest we get too comfortable
biking and bay-swimming, let's not forget that the world of politics
is still marching on. After all, it's an election year-an important
one-in which gays and lesbians are in the spotlight. Keep an eye
on the Republican convention in San Diego later this month. Look
for the attention that's paid to Pat Buchanan, Pat Robertson, and
Ralph Reed of the Christian Coal it ion. Let's watch to see how they
ally themselves, or perhaps, divide themselves.
A lot has happened since the last election four years ago. The
American public learned how to say "gay" and "lesbian" without
flinching. They became educated by our media to a great extent,
and, even those living in Small Mind, USA appear to be somewhat
savvy. However, there is still a long way to go in understanding
that gays and lesbians live their lives the same as everyone else
does. And, yes, most straights still presume that everyone is
straight until proven otherwise.
Along with this new attention, it seems that the media drew a
line in the sand. People were asked to take sides, and now,
everyone has expressed opinions about gay and lesbian rightsfrom job protection to marriage and military service to adopting
children. We now know who our friends are as well as our
enemies, which makes us far better off as a movement.
There have been some major disappointments in the last few
months, too. Governor Engler just signed into law the bill which
penalizes those educational institutions which grant health
benefits to the partners of its gay and lesbian employees. Today
this includes Wayne State University and the University of
Michigan. We have local Senator McManus to thank for this
unnecessary and discriminatory piece of legislation. In another
self-serving move, Michigan legislators also banned recognition
of same-sex marriage.
Locally, we were dealt a blow by the Traverse City City
Commission in adding "sexual orientation" to the list of protected
classes governing City hiring policies. On the bright side, we
received support from some extraordinary, fair-minded people in
the community, such as Mayor Peter Taylor. We also viewed a
few ignorant and outlandish displays of ego and avoidance, such
as the performance by City Commissioner Jim Tompkins. On the
light, yet frightening, side was Commissioner Weese, whose
ignorant, rambling remarks simply awestruck the crowd. But,
again, sides were drawn, and we have found our friends-those
who believe in fairness-and our enemies-those who prefer to
maintain discrimination and the status quo.
It was a pleasant surprise that same week to receive the June
issue of The New Yorker. The front cover featured a drawing of
two male sailors in a passionate kiss in the middle of a crowded

TIIE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTII is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall, Room 2 in the
cafeteria the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. Everyone is
welcome to attend.
TomLaForte
Tim Evans

Julie Parker

Victor Dinsmoore-secretary M'Lynn Hartwell
Tom Kincaid-VP Carol Lambertson-Pres.
Jim Poole
Scott Southwell-treasurer

Networking 45° Norlh, P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562

NEWSLETTER COMMITIEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor:
Publishing & Layout:
Advertising:
Mailing List:

Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tuxO Ol@aol.com
Richard Curtis: 929-9605
or e-mail: rcurtis695@aol.com
Jim Carruthers: 922-7768
John Evans: 922-0746

Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $120.00 for
6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call
'advertising' for rates.
SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking 45° North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part of this, and
to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #5-August 15; Issue #6-october 15.
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes to our address.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies are sent
bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.

~

printed on recycled paper
NElWORKING 45°NORTH

2

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

with his many years of experience with Friends North and our
local community.
Happy Gay Pride month! It was indeed a time to celebrate,
with the recent victory in the US Supreme Court. The decision
on May 20, 1996 regarding Colorado's Amendment 2 is a
profound victory for all who believe in basic equal rights and the
principle that all Americans deserve to live free from
discrimination and hate crimes.
On a more local note, however, it appears that we still have
our work cut out for us. The Traverse City City Commission again
voted against adding 'sexual orientation' to the City's hiring
policy. In spite of very moving and eloquent comments from area
ministers, an attorney, a psychologist, parents of gays, and
citizens, as well as members of the g/I/b community, the
amendment was voted down 4-3. I would like to thank everyone
who has worked on this issue so far, including those people who
came to the city commission meetings to show support.
I would also Iike to take this opportunity to thank all of you
out there for supporting Friends North by renewing your
newsletter subscription, by including extra money as a donation
to our organization, and by attending our social events. Without
this kind of participation we would not be able to continue.
THANK YOU! We also appreciate feedback; your letters, phone
calls and comments are important. Keep them coming!
Friends North is pleased to announce that in conjunction with
PFLAG and a generous donation, we will be establishing a tollfree telephone "helpline" which will be answered by a trained
person 24 hours a day. We hope to implement this before the end
of the year. Watch Networking 45° North for updates.
Finally, I would like to remind everyone to register and BE
SURE TO VOTE in November. This is the best way to "be
counted". We will do our best to keep you informed of various
issues so that you can make shrewd choices at the polls.
I look forward to serving you as President of Friends North
and invite you to contact me with any concerns, questions or
comments to improve our organization. Call me at 929-7476.

New York street. The caption was 'Don't Ask.' Thank you, editor
Tina Brown for once again giving us your cover.
Dean and Cindy Robb were incredible hosts at our gay pride
celebration. They opened their home and farm to us for that
Saturday afternoon, and the event went off beautifully. About 250
people came and joined in the picnic and gathering: some played
volleyball and others socialized. Twelve people participated in
the morning's bike ride in Leelanau County. Thanks again to
Cindy and Dean, as well as to Frank Noverr, from Noverr
Publishing, whose donation provided for the catered picnic lunch.

Carol Lambertson

FROM THE PRESIDENT
Many of you know that Jim Ingleson
resigned as President of Friends North,
effective with our May Board Meeting. Please
continue to support Jim with your kind thoughts as he heals from
the tragic and sudden death of his life partner, Kevin, in January.
We love you Jim!
The Friends North Board has suffered another loss since May.
Greg Baird has moved on to work in California. Greg contributed
many hours of service to Friends North, and could always be
counted on to attend all meetings and functions. We will miss
him greatly, and we wish him luck and success in his new
ventures. Greg promises to keep in touch via the newsletter as
soon as he is settled.
At our June Board Meeting, then, we had two vacancies to fill
by nomination and election. Tom LaForte, who works in Traverse
City and currently resides in Boyne Falls, and Tim Evans of
Petoskey wil I serve for the remainder of the year. We are grateful
for their energy and enthusiasm.
The completed Board then elected a new President and Vice
President. Tom Kincaid will execute the VP role, backing me up

Carol Lambertson

dive/ coach.

Ci@

fJ,

Madeleine

THOMAS

SCUBA DIVING INSTRUCTION
Private and CD ROM home study courses available
Glenn Sanford, certified NAUI instructor
(616) 946-0433
2671 Shenandoah Drive
Traverse City, Michigan 49684-8922

for DISTRICT

JUDGE

PAID FOR BY TIIE CoMMITIEE TO ELECT THOMAS FOR JUDGE, BoB BRICK, TREASURER

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

3

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Out,n

FRIENDS NORTH GAY AND LESBIAN
HISTORY AND EDUCATION CONFERENCE

+About

Friends North will be sponsoring the second annual Gay and
Lesbian History and Education Conference the weekend of
October 25th through 27th at the Sugar Loaf Resort, located on
the Leelanau Peninsula near Traverse City. The activities will
begin with a hospitality gathering arid registration on Friday night.
On Saturday, registration will take place between 8:00 and 9:00
am with the conference starting at 9:00 am. The conference will
officially close at an informal breakfast on Sunday morning.
Saturday will be filled with two keynote addresses, six
workshops, a luncheon, one-act stage readings, an outdoor walkabout, and a dance.
The workshops will include Gay and Lesbian Teachers,
Lesbians/Gays and the Media: Diversity in Our Community; Local
Gay/Lesbian Rights Ordinances; History Spotlights; and
Generation Issues. The registration fee for the conference wil I be
$25.00 which includes all presentations, lunch, and the dance.
Please locate the conference registration form in the center of this
newsletter and send them in early.
The Resort is reserving rooms for this Friends North event at
the low conference rate of $52.00 per night. The Resort does
request that you fil I out the registration form located in the center
of the newsletter, and mail it in with the $50.00 required deposit,
as soon as possible. Reservations cannot be accepted by phone.
PLEASE NOTE: REGISTRATION FOR THE HOTEL IS
SEPARATE FROM THE CONFERENCE REGISTRATION.

A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information

The Summer heat is high. Traffic is as heavy as a Traverse City
Cherry Festival parade day. Work is at an all time overload and
you were just handed a new project that was due yesterday. The
rent and utility bills are two weeks late. The pets are snarling
because your last quality time with them was prior to the Solstice.
"What did you say your name was," she queried?
Girlfriend! It's time to ESCAPE! Take yourself off to an evening
of "Magic, Music, Mystics & Massage" at the July Out 'n About
Lesbian Coffeehouse. Leave the hustle and bustle at our front door
and join with others in a relaxing atmosphere that affords a respite
from the usual wild, wide world that surrounds us. This
coffeehouse will feature a variety of active and passive areas
where you can enjoy a professional neck and shoulder massage,
or sit to build a dreamcatcher for yourself or a special someone.
Mask-making and creating a wise-woman walking stick may be
your choice; or connecting with others in a circle of drumming
and song. Other pastimes will be available, too.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse will be open from 7
pm until 11 pm on Saturday, July 20. Come and celebrate peace
with old and new friends.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is managed by an
informal gathering of lesbians who call themselves the Steering
Committee. This committee meets for a few hours on the Monday
prior to the 3rd Saturday coffeehouse for planning of each month's
event. The Committee is always seeking input from you, the
lesbian community, about what or who Out 'n About should
feature in upcoming months. Please consider joining the Steering
Committee so that your ideas can be heard and so that you can
make a positive impact on your own community.

Call for Booths/Displays
There wil I be eight (8) foot tables available for booths/
displays at the Gay and Lesbian History and Education
Conference. The cost for the tables is $15.00 each. Set up time
will be available Friday night to be ready for the conference on
Saturday morning.
Anyone and/or organization who is interested in signing up
for a table, please send $15 .00 with your name, address, phone,
and type of display/booths to Friends North, PO Box 562,
Traverse City, MI 49685-0562.

Out n' About Lesbian Coffeehouse is held on the third Saturday
of each month except August and December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of $3 ($5-$10 if we have entertainment).
Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks are available.

Bay

Office: (616) 941-5748

Business
Services
Inc.

For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
About Lesbian Coffeehouse mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message. (Please note this telephone number is for
Coffeehouse information only. If you have other questions or needs,
please call Friends North at 946-1804.)

ANDREW L. MITCHELL

Accounting & Tax Service
810-8 South Garfield Ave• Traverse City, Ml 49686

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

IE

0

u

IR

cc

JE

STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES

LOCAL SPIRITUAL:

Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) . . .... . ..... 800-347-HATE
Child Abuse Hotline ... . .. .. . . ........... .... ...... 800-392-8222
Michigan Wellness Networks . . ......... .. ......... .. 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .. ............ . ... 800-347-TEEN

Rev. Geraldine Colvin & Rev. David Florence
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City .... . .. . .. 616-932-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ....... . . 616-223-7999

STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL / POLITICAL / MEDIA

LOCAL COUNSELING:

The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 . .... . .. . 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ................ "616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ........... .. . . 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . .. .. .. ......... . ........... . 313-398-GAYS
http-J/www.webspace.com/~tcc/affirmations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 . . . .............. 517-332-3200
Capital Men's Club
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48902 .... (Kelly Stevens) 517-482-0860
Ambitious Amazons/Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .. . . ... .... .... 517-371-5257
Lesbian Alliance
P.O. Box 6423, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... .... ...... 517-394-1454
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit48219 ............. 313-537-3323
........ . ................................ Fax: 313-537-3379
email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . trijeffm@aol.com
PRIDE-Flint: P.O. Box 7014, Flint, Ml 48507 ............ 313-238-9854
Aurora Newsletter: (reaching out to gays, lesbians, bisexuals in the UP &
Canada) POB 626, Marquette, Ml 49855
Team Great Lakes
195 W. Nine Mile Rd., Suite 106, Ferndale, Ml 48220 . . 810-553-3586

Third Level Crisis Intervention, 902 W. Front St. . ........ 616-922-4800
..... ... . . . . ............ . ... . ... .. . . ... . . and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ..... . . . . ... .............. 616-941-1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD ....... .. ................. . .. 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) .. . . . . . .... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ...... .. ............... ... .... 616-947-0511
David Blisk (Maple City) .............. . . . ..... ... .. . 616-228-5105
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHI . ............. . ...... 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD ..................... . .... 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .. ......... . .. . 616-348-2415
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) . . . .. . . . .. . . .. . . ...... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center . ..... . .. 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ........ . .. . ........ . .. 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW ........ . . . . . ... .. ..... . 906-495-5061
Lois Martindale, Ph.D., Benzonia .. . . . .............. . . 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City .. . . .. . ... 929-1315 or 800-686-0749

LOCAL SERVICE/ SOCIAL/ POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) . . ....... .. . ......... . 616-946-1804
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location & time ........... .. .. . .. 616-922-4800
or ....... . .............. . . .. ... . .. . ........... 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nile Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. ..... . . 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC ... . John 616-922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City
POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 ........... . ... .. . Cindy 616-271-5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network) .. . ..... 616-943-8800
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill .. . .... 616-938-1333

NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL / POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .. .. 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 ... . ....... . . 212-807-1700
....... . .............. . ..... . .... . ....... Fax: 212-807-1806
email .......................... . ..... .. ... glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ...... ... . .. ..... 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . . .... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund
666 Broadway, New York, NY 10012 . . ......... . .... 212-995-8585
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 ......... . 415-621-0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-628-4160
..... ... ... ..... ......................... Fax: 202-347-5323
email . . . . . . ..... . ................... . ...... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
1012 14th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 . ...... 202-842-7679

NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH

LOCAL HIV/AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
Wellness Networks, Grand Traverse,
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 . ......... ... 616-947-1110
Wellness HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group . . ........ 616-947-1110
Grand Traverse County Health Department ............. 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist ............ 616-935-8140
Munson Medical Center HIV Clinic ............. ... 1-800-847-8474
Community Health Clinic ........................ . .. . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) .. .. .... . ... 1-800-248-6777
HERE ARE SOME PHONE NUMBERS EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE:
The White House (202) 456-1111; the U.S. Capital (202) 224-3121;
and some phone numbers for Northwest Michigan Residents-Cart Levin (202)
224-6221 or in TC (616) 947-9569; Spencer Abraham (202) 224-4822 or in C3rand
Rapids (616) 456-2592; Bart Stupak (202) 225-4735 or in TC 929-4711

s

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

succeed in getting the policy changed, we did do a lot of
EDUCATION! We appeared in the paper (even front page
headlines) and on news channels more than ever before. This
proposal was definitely the talk of the town. We were able to let
this community know who we were and that we definitely are part
of this community and plan to stay here.
The big question is are we done now? Will there be another
attempt? Wei I, a lot of that depends on those of you reading this.
There are lots of ideas floating around out there, let us know what
you think! We also need to call Jack Boynton and Larry Hardy and
thank them for their support. I have listed their numbers below.
Also, a call to Peter Taylor who has resigned as Mayor. Peter
needs to know how much we have appreciated his support
throughout the years, especially this past year.
And last but not by any means least, Carol and I want to thank
all of you for your support. You were FABULOUS! So many
people came out to support this issue. Many of you wrote letters,
made phone calls, talked to your friends and families and some of
you touched al I our hearts with your passionate voices at the City
Commission meetings. There were also a few who tried their very
best to keep Carol and I sane on a regular basis. (No easy task.)
Special thanks to Jim Carruthers, Sue Schwartz, Jane Hayes,
Reverend Geraldine Colvin, Cindy Robb, Paulette Parsons, Joann
Ewing and Brian Bensett of Copy World, and most of all to our
partners Sherry and Rene who listened to all the details of every
meeting and issue that came up over and over again.
Remember the City Commission meets the 1st and 3rd
Monday's of each month at 7:30 pm in the Governmental Center
and the Human Rights Commission meets the 2nd Monday of
each month at 6:00 pm in the same building.

NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S
CHOIR... WE RECRUIT!
The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir has been working
hard for over two years and having a lot of fun too! We have
between 12-16 members and have performed more than 2 Otimes
for Friends North, Out 'n About, Women's events, World AIDS
Day, the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, benefit concerts for
SAS, and other special events such as the Remember My Names
Memorial in Lansing and the Scottville NAMES Project Quilt
Display. The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir is a member of
Sister Singer's Network and GALA (Gay and Lesbian Association
of Choruses) and continues to improve and expand our repertoire.
We are looking for womyn who would like to sing with us. You
do not have to read music or have had experience. An interest in
womyn's music and a desire to have fun are the main
requirements!
The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir sings together as a
community of womyn, celebrating our strength and our diversity.
Some of us identify as lesbian and some do not. We welcome
womyn of varying musical abilities, political interests and life
experiences to join with us in learning and sharing womyn's
music. While the Choir is taking the summer off from rehearsals,
we wil I be getting together to socialize, sing and plan for next year
and this would be a great time to get to know us. So if you've
heard us and thought 'I could do that' or 'I wish I could do that'
contact Deb Medlin, Director at 616-275-5924 for information.

Sincerely,
Carol Anderson, Pam Haley

Contributions
FROM THE COMMUNITY

Commissioners Numbers
Peter Taylor-942-1826
Jack Boynton-947-5944
Larry Hardy-947-7189

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stories about ducks and geese and how the Bible affects
employment status. (I never really understood that connection.)
The vote was 6-1 against adding the words "sexual orientation"
to the City anti-discrimination hiring policy. I still wonder if the
commissioners really understood the motion. in June we came
back again with the same request, and got closer with a vote of 43, with Commissioners Jack Boynton and Larry Hardy changing
their votes in favor of the amendment. Although we didn't
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

UU COMMUNITY FORUM

law and the meaning of the word "sodomy" made it clear to some
heterosexuals in the audience that they, too, have broken
Michigan law and are indeed sodomites.
Did the Forum do any good? I believe it may have and this
gives me some hope that my initial negative feelings may not be
realized. It felt very good to hear some young and new voices
speak clearly and positively for human rights. I hope that some of
those who opposed the proposal left the Forum with voices of
reason and logic in their ears. While the Forum opened some of
my old wounds, it has given me renewed energy and clarified
some of my thinking.
I find it very rewarding that we have straight people in our
community like Paulette Parsons, Tom Dignan, Cindy Robb and
others who are speaking up and walking side-by-side with activist
gays, lesbians, and transgendered in the search for human dignity.
I know that I plan to continue to attend such events and look for
other ways to bridge the tall walls of prejudice and hatred until all
people are welcomed for their individual qualities and
appreciated, not judged unfairly, for their diversity.

ONE VIEW
Ray Rideout

I held strong negative feelings fol lowing the ACLU-sponsored
Community Forum on the Traverse City Human Rights
Commission's request to add "sexual orientation" to the list of
traits included in the City's non-discrimination policy.
Paul Bare, of the ACLU of Northwestern Michigan,
moderated the forum which was held at the Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship on June 13. Cindy Robb, P-FLAG; Tom Dignan,
Traverse City attorney; and Guy Molnar, Old Town Playhouse;
spoke in support of the proposal. Rick Pardini, Grand Traverse
Families in Action; LaRae Monk, Traverse City attorney; and Dave
Conklin, a person with AIDS from out of state, opposed the
proposal.
We have all heard such words as "pervert," "sodomite,"
"abomination," "promiscuous," "special rights," and "I have
nothing against gays-I just hate their sick behavior." We heard
these words and more again on the 13th. We also heard the Bible
quoted in simplistic ways and out of context and that gays can
change back to "normal" if they choose. For instance, Mr. Conklin
said he gave up a "promiscuous lifestyle as a homosexual" and
has married a woman after using the services of Exodus
International.
BORN-AGAIN-PAGAN-SEEKER
My bad feelings came less from hearing lesbians, gays and
transgendered people described in negative, stereotypical terms
Richard Curtis
I am well known, to some, as being a person who "irritates
than in realizing just how great the gap is in our ability to
communicate with extremists. Do these people really represent people." Someone who enjoys poking people, tickling people.
the Grand Traverse community? Where are the moderate forces Stating things in such a way as to elicit a response.
in the community?
During the last few meetings of the newsletter staff, we, "The
Tom, Cindy and Guy each gave eloquent statements and Staff" ("The Staff of Life?"; "Thy Rod and Thy Staff They Comfort
refused to be drawn into nonproductive encounters. However, I Me"? Tall, Erect, Vital, Members All) discussed the aging nature
left that evening feeling that those who came to oppose the of our organization. In a recent survey (which was in fact a rather
request of the Human Rights Commission had no desire, or ability, small sampling of the members of our group) we found nearly
to hea,r another view. And sadly, their rigid posture and superior 60% over 40 years of age.
attitudes engendered harsh and negative statements and reactions
We, The Staff, have discussed various ways of eliciting
on the part of many of us who supported the proposal.
response from the Younger Generations of Queer Folk. I for one
I have talked with a few who feel that education did take urged that we skip the Reagan Generation. Why try to bring them
place that evening. Indeed, Tom Dignan's statement regarding the in. Just write them off. They did after all bring us the
institutionalized worship of Senile-Self-Serving-Hypocrites. The
worship of Political Correctness-where everything must be seen
in a positive light. No one is handicapped they are challenged.
There are no faults only challenges. No one is to be corrected for
bad behavior we all just smile and pleasantly encourage them
SNOWMOBILE
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with
round about phrases hopefully turning them to a less
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• Hot Showers
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Doctors are not allowed to speak openly about other doctors. By
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Born-Again (continued page next page)
7

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

I don't have a high regard for the medical profession. But I have
sought advice on doctors from professionals, friends and
acquaintances in the profession. When I mentioned one doctor here
in Traverse City their response was, "Never use him." "He should be
disbarred." "He's the worst in town." Three different people
commenting on the same doctor. They all added "But, please, don't
mention that I said this."

Mother; strong. muscular arms to enfold us; his life fluids rain down
on us all, giving us the "stuff of life." If you are a pagan worshiping
Mother Earth, you use sexual images: enjoy them, revel in them,
honor them.
Dan I am sorry that you were offended by what I said. But, lighten
up. "If the shoe doesn't fit...", why spend so much energy trying to
jam your foot into it. The 'Me Generation' has been characterized as
uninterested, uncaring. by many more than myself, and with reason.
If you take offense at the generalization-Good. You gave an
impassioned speech at the City Commission meeting last month. Get
out there and let the world know that there are people of your
generation who aren't only self-interested. Get more of your
generation to merely show up at events, even better if they can
become involved with planning, or political issues.
And while I know that my jabs cause discomfort, that is not their
purpose. Their purpose is to get responses, raise issues, to cause
people to think. Being a member of a queer nation I have developed
a thick skin. But allow me to point out that my jabs never stoop to
name calling, on a personal level. I took no offense in your letter but
hope that you will reread my last article and that with some distance
from your original anger you will see more information there than on
your first reading.
I'm feeling rather Biblical of late so here's one more quote: "Are
we not our brother's keepers?" Should we not urge a higher response
from those with whom we share this beautiful Mother/Father world?

So am I just on a rant here, or what?
In the last issue my article was entitled "Sex, Sex, Sex." The
proper reading of this title, to indicate the intended meaning, would
be to make the words sound like "Tisk, Tisk, Tisk." Try it "Sex, Sex,
Sex." I know that saying this word is difficult for many people.
Especially for people who are uncomfortable with the concept of sex.
Or people who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation.
There is, after all, power in words. Words can be used to excite
people to action.
I'm good at soliciting responses from people by using words. I'm
apparently not so good at conveying meaning to everyone. The point
of my article was that sex (what we do in private) is the basis of the
discrimination directed against us. My reference to pagan sexual
attitudes ("we incorporate sexuality within our religion as a
sacrament, or employ sexual symbolism in our rituals, or at least
accept sex as a positive human activity. Usually all three.") In no way
preaches anything as to how anyone else should use their sexuality.
It merely stated the acceptance of sexuality as a positive part of life.
(Not the Be-All and End-All of any life.)
I received many positive responses to this article. Various forms
of "Right on!" "Good one!" from people who know me and from
people I didn't know who took the time to phone me with
congratulations on a "Wonderful article." Dan Miller, of Traverse
City, however, took such affront at my opening jab at the Reagan
Generation-my attempt to solicit a response (not an easy task with
such a slow group)-that he seems, in my opinion to have missed the
meaning of everything else I wrote. [See Letters page 14]
His most blinding mistake (misunderstanding?) though was
completely his own. To quote Dan: "Not all Pagans use sex as a ritual,
or use sexual symbolism in their rituals. I am a pagan and I use neither
in my worship of M.Q.tb.fil Earth and Father Sky." [underline my
emphasis]. Dan, Mother Earth and Father Sky are quite specifically
sexual symbols. The Mother has a womb that gave birth to us all,
breasts to nourish us; The Father has sexual organs that fertilize the

Personally, I think we should place our hopes in Generation-X
for fresh blood in the movement. But then, they appear to be so
comfortable with their sexuality that they seem to be forgoing the
labels of gay, straight, bi-, transgendered, and just getting on with it.
We are talking of human rights aren't we, not just gay liberation, that's
just an old phrase from the 60's, and that generation is just a bunch
of burnt-out-air-heads with nothing left to offer. Aren't they?
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUSf 1996

PROFILE: CAROL LAMBERTSON
MADELEINE THOMAS ANNOUNCES
CANDIDACY FOR DISTRICT JUDGE

John Evans
Late one sunny afternoon I rang Carol Lambertson's doorbell at
her neat house in a country development and was greeted by Kita,
her cat of a year or so who, Carol advises, is bipolar! He was quite
well -behaved as we toured the house, but when I got comfortable in
a living room chair he sprang up and started munching on one of my
fingers ... no doubt he recognized a cat lover.
Carol had just been through an exciting weekend celebrating her
son Nathan's graduation from high school. Currently working at
Wolohan's, Nathan has been accepted at Michigan State for this fall
to study journalism.
Carol's college career was interrupted. 11 1was going to go on in
the field of psychology, but motherhood came along. I decided to
spend my full time doing that, and so I didn't work.
But Carol already had her associate's degree from Lansing
Community College. With those credentials she was able eventually
to land a job with the Employment Security Commission here in
Traverse City. She moved up here from her native home in Lansing
with her then three-year-old son.
"But after nine ¼'.eeks I was laid off. At that time you needed
eighteen weeks of work to collect unemployment-so there I wasno job laid off from a jobless office! But I was able to stay here---found
a roommate who was able to take me in with my son."
There followed a succession of temporary secretarial jobs, one
of which was with Munson Medical Center.
"I really wanted to get into Munson, and after much letter writing
and campaigning for myself I was able to get a full time job there.
That was in 1984."
Since then Carol has worked her way up in the oncology
department from department secretary to clinical research associate.
After much discussion of life at Munson over the past twelve
years, I asked Carol about her social and recreational life as a working
single mother over this period.
About five years ago I really moved into a whole different area
of being and that included getting involved in Unity Church and
serving on their board a year or so. I became pretty active in social
activities and 12-step groups."
With the support of new-found friends Carol was able to turn her
life around, and this "uncovering of the layers of her life" enabled her

Madeleine Thomas is a candidate for Judge of the 86th
District, which covers Grand Traverse and Leelanau Counties.
Ms. Thomas has been a practicing attorney in the Grand
Traverse area for over 13 years. She has a general practice
focusing on small business law, criminal and civil litigation.
She has been the attorney for Friends North, Inc. ever since
its inception, and the attorney for its predecessor, Dignity, Inc.
Approximately two years ago, Ms. Thomas was
appointed as a Circuit Court Referee for Wexford and
Missaukee Counties. In this capacity she judges and rules on
issues concerning the children in a divorce-child support,
custody, visitation, paternity, and alimony in the Circuit
Court.
Ms. Thomas received her law degree at the University of
Detroit/Mercy School of Law in 1983, and two undergraduate
degrees from the Michigan State University/James Madison
College in 1979.
Ms. Thomas' local civic involvement has been quite
extensive, and her legal involvement in the community
includes being the first woman president being elected to the
three county local bar association as well as numerous other
memberships on the state wide level.
Ms. Thomas is married to Robert Eichenlaub, a local
special education instructor. They have two children,
Christopher, age 14, and Caroline, age 9.
Ms. Thomas would like to bring her experience as a
Circuit Court Referee, where she has judged some of the most
difficult of issues-those relating to children-to the bench.
She views the District Court as the "people's court" where
people desire respect and fairness.
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Elect Thomas for Judge
Treasurer: Robert Brick

Carol - Continued page 24

.

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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

BICAUII ff'I A CRmCAL TIMI

,oa UHi.AN AND GAY AMIRICA.

BICAUII THIS IUCTION II SO IMPOllTANT.
BICAUII

HUMAN

RIGHTS
CAMPAIGN

96

oua COMMUNITY MUST •• HI.AU.

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER.
REGISTER.

VOTE.

HRC UNVEILS OUTVOTE '96, ITS FIRST
POLITICAL CONVENTION

president in history who has
and defeating anti-gay ballo
About 1,000 of HRC's
attend the convention, from
essential campaign skills, b
candidates and get prepared
local, state and national elec
the heartland of America,
presidential election.
During the week leading up to
will train 26 young people to
the country and work for th
election of a fair-minded Co
leaders will continue to pro
lesbian, gay and bisexual equal rights for years to come," Birch iid.

Also LAUNCHES YOUTH CAMPAIGN COLLEGE TO TRAIN
TOMORROW'S MOVEMENT LEADERS
WASHINGTON-As part of its drive to make a difference in
federal, state and local elections in 1996, the Human Rights
Campaign will hold its first national political convention-OutVote
'96-and its first Youth College for Campaign Training to equip
young activists to work in political campaigns this fall.
uoutVote '96 promises to pull together major political figures,
the best campaign experts in the business and HRC professionals to
motivate and train HRC members," said Elizabeth Birch, HRC's
executive director. uThe goals include helping to elect a Congress
supportive of lesbian and gay equal rights; re-rlecting the first

Amanda Bearse, Chastity Bono, Sean Sasser, Greg Louganis, Candace Gingrich, Mitchell Anderson and Dan Butler

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

10

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Property of the center

ON THE WEEKEND OF OCTOBER

NOT ALL
BATTLES
ARE FOUGHT
WITH A
SWORD.
OCTOBER

11-13, 1996
AI OS

MEMORIAL

~ I LT DI SPLAY
WASHINGTON

DC
NAMES Project:

4 15-882-5500

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11-13

OH MY! I'M Bl.
Oh my!
I'm bi.
I don't know if I,
Should lie,
And cry,
Afraid of good-bye?!
Oh why
Arn I
Bi?

hundreds of thousands
of people will converge
on one nation's capital
to participate in the
largest AIDS awareness
event in history. Just
weeks before the
presidential and
congressional
elections, and NAMES
Project has planned a
full weekend of
activities designed to
ensure that AIDS is
made a top priority on
our nation's agenda.

Choosing one,
Doesn't make the feelings for the other
Go away.
I struggle everyday.
I chose my best friend,
Together 'till the end.
Helps me through it all,
Especially when I fall.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to choose.
A bit of me I feel I lose.
But being in a relationship with two
May not leave much time for you.

As 45,000 AIDS
Memorial Quilt
panels-15 city blocks
of fabric-are
unfolded, the names of
the dead will ring out
over the open expanse
of the National Mall.
Over the course of the
weekend, volunteers
will read more than
70,000 names from
the Quilt, more names
than appear on the
nearby Vietnam War
Memorial.

© 1995 Pamela

Shamanism is the most ancient method of mind-body healing.
Shamans the world over saw illness as a break in our
spiritual essence causing debilitation and disease.
Trauma or negative energy from another person causes
spiritual break resulting in loss of power, soul loss or spirit
intrusion.
Symptom of power loss are
chronic bad luck, illness, frequent
accidents or low self esteem.

This monumental
event will be the
combined efforts of
over 10,000
volunteers. Whether
you are an
experienced NAMES
Project volunteer, or
someone who has only
seen the Quilt on
television, we need
you. Please join us for
this event. Together
we can make a
difference.

Symptom of soul loss are empty
feelings, depression, loss of
vitality, gaps in memory and long
grieving periods.
When we are dispirited, who helps us? We have doctors for
the body and mind. As a practicing shaman, Nancy
Hayward uses techniques from the ancient ones. She
journeys to other worlds and with spirit help restores
personal power, knowledge, healing and wholeness to her
clients.
Nancy has her training from the Foundation for Shamanic
Studies. For information or for an appointment call her at
616-223-7999.

11

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

TI IF TI JE JD

IL A
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ADOPT-A-ROAD CLEANUP scheduled for 1996. The dates to clean
Friends North's section of M-72 near Acme are: July 18, September
26. Again, we will gather at the theatre in Acme at 5:30 pm. Call
Alec at 943-4492 (issue 4)
GAY GAMES IN 1998: Team Great Lakes is organizing for the
upcoming games in Amsterdam, scheduled for August 1-5, 1998.
Those interested, please call Ann Heier at 810-547-4692. Team
Great Lakes sent 180 individual athletes and teams to New York City
in '94. (Issue 4)
B1-MONTHL Y, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first
and third Tuesday of each month, from 11 :30 am until 1:00 pm at a
local, Traverse City restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact
Friends North . (issue 4)
WASHINGTON D.C. QUILT: I am putting together a group of people
who are interested in going to Washington in October to see the
entire Names Project Quilt. Please contact me, Tom, at 616-9474647 or write: 208 Circle Dr., Apt. C, Traverse City, 49684. (issue 4)
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a
difference! The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To
contribute specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at
271-3042 or send a check (in an amount of $100.00 or less) directly
to Friends North. (issue 6)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day
to 947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue 6)
THE 1993 MARCH ON WASHINGTON DREW 1,000,000 PEOPLE
for Gay and Lesbian rights. The producers who made a video have
waived their copyrights for noncommercial TV. Those who live in
areas where residents can SPONSOR a video to be on community
access TV, please contact Rick, 508 Benjamin, Ann Arbor, Ml 48104;
313-663-0001 (issue 4)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY
is meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services
will be held on alternate Sundays with dates disclosed in their
newsletter, Diversity, Please call 348-31 17 for details or write to us
at POB 2 71, Petoskey, Ml 49770-02 71 (Issue 6)
HATE CRIMES WATCH: The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION.
The group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-7539823 . Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 5)
CREATING CHANGE: The annual NGLTF Conference is being held
in Alexandria, VA, outside of Washington D.C., on November 6-10.
For information contact NGLTF through their web page or call 617492-6393. (issue 4)

PERSONALS:
CHIROPRACTOR NEW TO TOWN: (and her two cats) need place
to live. Also need office space. Also looking for part time work while

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

12

I build my practice. Please call me at 313-996-1 603 or leave a
message at 616-228-6780 (issue 4)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling
and testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants,
Depo-Provera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and
other methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 9224630. Services are by appointment only. (issue 5)
CHRISTIAN, LESBIAN, WOMAN committed to Jesus Christ offers
bible study with fellowship and fun for like-minded gays and lesbians.
If you are interested, please send information on how to contact you.
Please write: Bible Study, PO Box 188, Suttons Bay, Ml 49682 .
Confidentiality assured. Let's get together and celebrate the fact that
Jesus loves us just the way we are! (issue 4)

GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends
North Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 pm at
Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall on the first floor, Room 2
in the cafeteria. Everyone is welcome! (issue 5)
GLSTN: The Gay-Lesbian-Straight Teachers Network is meeting
monthly in Traverse City. Newly forming. they welcome all interested
educators. For more information, call M'Lynn at 943-8800. (issue 3)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is
a network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who
meet monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with
others about the issues concerning them . Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace
Episcopal Church in Traverse Cityevery third Wednesday of the
month, at7:30 pm. For more information call Cindy Robb at 2715045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 9224800 or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as
well as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd . in T.C. Please see the Out 'n About
article elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities.
(issue 4)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS: If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim at271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 4)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV
or AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday
evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library
at 341 Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the
month the Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301
Veterans Drive, Suite 221 , just north of S. Airport Road. For further
information, please call 933-0279 . (issue 6)

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Classifieds continued

THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bisexual persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7
pm Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information
please contact Tim at 616-348-8151 (issue 4)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for
new voices. To obtain more information or for a performance
schedule, please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 4)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit
organization that has committed itself to helping and supporting the
needs of HIV infected persons. They offer a number_ of services,
including support groups, education, public awareness, and one-ononefriendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena,
Gaylord, and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the
program, please cal I 616-52 6-9213. (issue 4)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians
are held each Saturday at 11 :00 am and have been moved to a new
location at Grace Episcopal Church, corner Washington and
Boardman Streets in TC. For further info, call John at 922-0746 or
Tom at 947-4647. (issue 4)
FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for
gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please
contact Jeff @ 517-354-7702, or write to him at POB 391, Alpena,
Ml 49707. (issue 4)

LETTERS
Dear Friends;
I figure that if I want to keep up on the latest from home I can find
out in your newsletter. My brother who lives in Williamsburg started it
for me a couple years ago. So out of 4 brothers and 5 sisters I have a
brother and sister that accept as I am.
Living in a Military Retirement Community is a lot like being in
the service but no longer can they discriminate against me. I am
considered a Resident of Washington, D.C. and undertheir laws. I like
to put the newsletter in the library and watch all the bigots get mad and
saying it shouldn't be there.
I used to get the Washington Blade but it wasn't as good as yours
is. My heart is still in Williamsburg even if I haven't been back in 6
years. Too much dissension from some of the relatives makes it hard to
go back and visit. I may get strong enough to fight them for my right to
live also someday but so far I am still running. I have met many people
here who are gay and most of the straight(?) people who live around
me accept me. So I have a closer family here than at home.
Being in the service for 20 years and not knowing where I was
coming from before that has made my life lonely. That is why I like to
see people like you all working for the children coming up. Too many
children kill themselves because they are lost and no one to talk to. The
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

so called religious bigots who wish to push their warped ideas on all
really make me mad. What happened to tolerance in their religious
beliefs? Jews, Christians, and Muslims have killed more people in the
name of their god than any other people.
I was brought up Catholic but changed to Buddhism because they
accepted me as I am. I spent over 5 years in Thailand while in the
service. I wentto the monastery for 3 months as all monks do and found
that their non-violent life was the best way to go. That was the only
time that I was able to live my own life so did have a taste of what life
can be. Since 1975 it has been back to being alone and scared again.
So teach the children that love encompasses all of us and not just a
select few.
Thank you,
Pat and Ted

,,

Dear F/N/TC
We have a dear and close friend in the TC area and have known her for
quite a long time, and we want to address a serious problem that exists in this
area's gay community as well as many others. We' re not quite sure, but it could
be just a hand full of people who can't find something better to do in their
lives, but make trouble, spread rumors and gossip. People! Get a Life!!
Why do they feel the need to intrude into someone else's private and
personal life. Maybe reasons of insecurity, jealousy, nosiness, no life?
And then with no apparent concern about another person's life and
reputation, try their damnedest to destroy a person's livelihood, reputation and
life, with the flash of a double edge tongue! Vicious lies, rumor, and jealous
are wasted emotions. So why?-do they do this to someone they barely know?
Some kind of thrill, high, kicks? (How sick!)
Think if someone reversed this and did the same to you and your family
and personal life. How would you like that? So many people are quick to judge
someone so fast to pass judgment without knowing any or all of the true facts.
Why does this vicious "Gossip Mill" exist. Is it helping us reverse to the hate in
the world. (Gay People) is it helping us fight against discrimination in housing.
marriage, equal rights? Shouldn't you be using this wasted energy for these
needed! Much needed positive things to become reality for us!! We're all
Americans, yet, we don't have the same rights as straight America. Use your
energies to fight those causes, not each other!!
If we as gay America can't even get along with each other! Well that
just gives fuel to the Newts of the world, the Extreme Right, Fanatics! it

LETTERS continued next page

(SD UIE TIDPA~~)
Open Monday-Saturday- 6:00 pm - Sunday at 2:00 pm
616"' 935"' 1666 "'520 Franklin "'Traverse City, MI 49684

Proud I Ga Owned and O erated since 1989
13

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

took many of us half a life time to come out, and finally feel the freedom of
that. Don't let a handful of very disturbed people take that away from any
of us! I'm sure these few people I'm talking about know who they are!!
Before it's too late we need to build not destroy! Don't bring other peoples
lives down into your self-destructive decline! I hate to say this but this is
not the first time we have had a friend singled out for this type of behavior
in the TC Northern Michigan area and the stories are well traveled about
this typeofthinggoingon, so Listen-Up TC a lotofourfriends have moved
elsewhere, and a couple more are planning it too. I wonder why? - and
people wonder why no-one shows up at our community events or doesn't
travel in from rural places. That's why. The stories on peoples behavior
have circulated far and wide.
So-before you're so quick to judge, try, convict, someone! You think
you know but really don't!! Stop and think?
Do I know the person, at all? Do I know the facts? The truth? The
circumstances in their life? Even if you think you do, more times than not
you don't!
So mind your own life and business
"Peace"
Cameron & Deb
Ann Arbor, Michigan
P.S. We don't know if you'll print this, but all of us down-state with
friends up there sure hope so! Thanks.

y
Letter to the Editor:
Shafted By The President. .. Again!
I am a gay man, an active member in our community and a white
collar professional. I remember when Mr. Clinton was politicking to
be President of the United States and needed my gay vote. He pledged
he would work for me. He gave me cause for hope. At long last I would
no longer be a voice crying in the wilderness. Mr. Clinton vowed to be
my man in Washington. I voted for him because I naively believed he
was not taking me for a ride. Gosh, he sounded so genuinely sincere,
he made me feel good about being gay, he told me he believed in the
causes of my gay and lesbian family. I earnestly hoped that with Clinton
in the White House things would be different for me and my oppressed
family. Out of the closet into the light! Free at last, free at last, thank
God Almighty I would be free at last. What an energizing feeling! I

..,.

To the "Born-again-Pagan-Seeker"
Generalization is something that hurts homosexuals today more
than anything else. We are generalized as sex-addicts, perverts,
pedophiles, etc. Which is why it is so disturbing that a member of our
community generalizes such a large portion of us so carelessly and
arrogantly. As a child of the "Reagon Era," I was very insulted by your
arrogant generalization of my generation. No one who knows me would
ever accuse me of being "unopinionated" or of looking to someone else
for all the answers. There are many like me out there, just as there are
many like you have described. It is the easy and lazy way, to make such
broad statements. I could just as easily say that the children of the 60's
sold out or wasted their minds and bodies from experimentation.
However this is not 100% true, but for many it is.
Speaking of experimentation, it was not a 60's fad . It is something
every generation, to some degree or another, experiences. Almost
every teenager has pushed the limits to some extent. My generation,
was like all others in that respect.
Not all Pagans use sex as a ritual, or use sexual symbolism in their
rituals. I am a pagan and I use neither in my worship of Mother Earth

rtJtEl,fl6E

JenITees

tET_0S 1(.-fU IT ,f BETTER l(PRtP

custom screen printing
516 E. Eighth St.
Traverse City, MI 49686
(616)929-3610 FAX 929-9206
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Letters continued next page

l)tffl/ 12 . 95
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

would be treated as an equal, I would be welcomed into the military,
I would have the top executive of the USA stand by me and assure me
that he too believed in my right to marry the person of my choosing.
Reality has set in for me. I got shafted yet one more time. Like so
many before him, I was being courted not because of who I am as a
gay man, but solely because I had something he wanted and needed ...
my vote. I gave it to him and I feel like a prostitute! Used again, lied to
again, lifted up only to be hurled down. That is until I can be sweet
talked into putting out just one more time. Well, the race is on. I refuse
to be used and abused by those who promise me the world and throw
me crumbs.
President Clinton says: Join the military as a gay person ... just
don't get caught. On same sex marriages, he opted: Oh, no I certainly
don't agree with same-sex marriages. Oh, how awful. You dirty
homosexuals wanting to live together as husband and wife. Even my
cat, Socks, knows better. On, equal rights for gays, not in my life time.
Well, the list goes on and on and on.
The bottom line is that President Clinton is saying to all gays and
lesbians: "You, just don't understand. I have to think of my political
career. Right now I have to go after the Catholic Vote, the Billy Graham
vote. Sorry, you are not a priority this time around." Were we ever?
Yes, I know the rheto~ic, the ploy to again get the gay vote: They say
look at the other option, Mr. Dole. Well, I have and he will get my
undivided support and vote come November. I urge all gays and
lesbians to have the integrity to give Mr. Dole a fair hearing. Mr. Clinton
took us for a ride, lied to us, played up to us and stiffed us royally. Only
a fool would be naive enough to put back into office someone who
hurled such abuse on our gay family. Will we ever learn?
Anonymous
Editor, I am unable for professional reasons to print my name.
subscribe to and am an avid reader of our magazine. I hope you have
the courage to print my letter in its entirety.

14

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

FRIENDS NORTH

DATES:

October 25-27, 1995

REGISTRATION DEADLINE:

September 24, 1996

CHECK-IN:
CHECK-OUT:

After 4:00 pm
Before Noon

DEPOSIT:
A $50.00 per hotel room deposit is required to confirm your reservations. Cancellations must be received at least 14 days prior to arrival. With 14 days notice of cancellation, a refund,
less $10.00 processing fee, will be issued. Deposits are non-refundable with less than 14 day notice
of cancellation.
ACCOMMODATIONS: Hotel rooms have either two double beds, queen size bed and double
sofa bed, or a king-size bed. All hotel rooms have a full bath, Spectra-Vision, satellite TV, and
telephone with voice mail. Your choice of accommodations are subject to availability.
RATES: $52.00 plus tax (6%) per room per night, single or double occupancy
RATES INCLUDE:

Lodging Only.

EARLY ARRIVAL/LATE DEPARTURE RATES: Same as above.
RESERVATIONS CANNOT BE ACCEPTED BY TELEPHONE; PLEASE USE THE FORM BELOW.
CONF1RMATION WILL BE SENT UPON RECEIPT OF THIS FORM AND DEPOSIT.

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GAY AND LESBIAN HISTORY AND EDUCATION
Friends North, Inc.

October 15-27, 1996
Sugar Loaf Resort near Cedar, Michigan on the Leelanau Peninsula

WORKSHOPS
♦

Gays/Lesbians and the
♦

♦

Media ♦

Gay and Lesbian History

Diversity in Our Community

Lesbian/Gay Teachers

♦

♦

Spotlights ♦

Generational Issues

♦

Lesbian/Gay Rights Ordinances

♦

Conference Keynote Speaker: Beth Brant, Native American Lesbian Writer
Luncheon Keynote Speaker: Jerry Crane, Teacher from Byron Center
One Act Stage Readings
Dance on Saturday Night

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

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OCTOBER 25-27, 1996

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TOTAL

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Please make all checks or money orders payable to Friends North, and mail the registration form with
fees by October 15, 1996 to: FRIENDS NORTH, PO BOX 562, TRAVERSE CITY, Ml 49685-0562.
Interpreter for the hearing impaired available: Please reserve by October 1, 1996
I can/cannot attend. and/but would like to help fund scholarships for others to attend.
Here is my donation of$ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Paid for by The Committee to Elect Thomas for Judge • Treasurer: Robert Brick
520 S. Union• P.O. Box 2007 • Traverse City, MI 49685 • 616-947-2217

• Practicing attorney for 13 years
• Circuit Court Referee, Wexford & Missaukee Counties for two
years• Judging and deciding child custody, visitation,
support, and other matters involving children in
divorce
• FRIENDS NORTH, INC. 's corporate attorney since its inception
• Past President of Grand Traverse-Leelanau-Antrim County Bar
Association
• RESPECT"I want to encourage respect for and from the legal system ... to
victims, criminal defendants, police officer, court personnel, the
judge ... all deserve respect."
"I want people to respect our legal process and to do that, the
process must respect them."

• VOTE on Tuesday, August 6, 1996. Your vote will make a
difference. Absentee ballots are available through your local
Township Clerk.

Government continued
and Father Sky. Sex is a special, joyous communication between my
partner and myself. It is sacred because it is respectful and responsible.
I don't really care how many words the Greeks had for love, this is not
important. I love my partner, which means I trust him, respect him,
cherish the time we have together, share my life, my soul, my secrets,
my goals, my mistakes, my joys and my pain with him as he does with
me. He is my friend, my confidant and at times my critic. Sex is not
what it is all about. It is about seeing each other as we look in the
morning-and still knowing that this is who I want to spend my life
with. It is about seeing the whole person, the real person. That is what
it is about.
I did not come out because of sex. I can have all the sex I want
(gay sex) and never come out. My coming out was about honesty,
integrity and happiness. Sex I could have, but without honesty and
integrity, without being true to oneself, that sex is full of shame,
degradation, and self-loathing. I came out to have a healthy (mentally
and physically) life with or without sex. Sex is not the begin al I end al I.
It is only a part of who I am. I do not need sex to feel like a homosexual.
I feel like a Homosexual when I walk down the street, when I eat, when
I shop, when I sleep, when I wake up, when I go to the bathroom, in
short I feel like a Homosexual 24 hours a day.
Being proud of who we are means being proud of all that we are,
we are sexual beings-and many other things as well. We are probably
the most diverse community in the world . But when one generalizes
one part of our community and insists that sex is all we are about, it
smacks of Homophobia not of pride.
Dan Miller
Traverse City, Michigan

Dear Ms. Reynolds,
I am writing in response to your editorial (enclosed) in the March
19th Traverse City Record Eagle. I to was very encouraged by the
support given to the Gaynor family with the recent cross burning
incident. Personally and as a member of the Traverse City Human
Rights Commission I also had the chance to speak out about this
horrible incident. The thing that concerns me is that while I spoke, and
as I try to end another type of discrimination, occurring in this country
and area, I can't but wonder how supportive the community would
have been if this had been a gay or lesbian family. These people, still
to this day, face discrimination and hate crimes every day of their lives,

with no protection from our government or laws. It is a fear they live
with everyday. If someone finds out they can lose their jobs, homes,
children with no recourse.
Ms. Renolds, I hope as a representative of the Civil Rights
Commission that when you are presenting your report from the Bias
Crime Response Task Force to Governor Engler you will include that
providing support for victims of all bias crimes will include gay/lesbian
citizens of this state.
Sincerely yours,
Pam J. Haley
Dear Ms. Haley:
Your recent letter to the Michigan Department of Civil Rights
director, Nanette Lee Reynolds was referred to me for response. I am
pleased to inform you that The Bias Crime Response Task Force will be
submitting a report to the Michigan Civil Rights Commission in May.
Subsequently, the report will be forwarded to the governor. The task
force report, as submitted, does provide support for all victims of bias
crimes, including gay and lesbian citizens of this state.
The task force established three standing committees: community
response; data collection and trend analysis; and victim support. These
three standing committees prepared a very comprehensive plan of
action with recommendations that address issues of hate-bias
incidents. In addition, these standing committees jointly prepared a
cooperative agreement that would establish a working relationship
between local communities and the Department of Civil Rights.
In response to this task force report, an invitation will be extended
to the Traverse City Human Relations Commission, and other human
relations commissions from across the state, to be an active partner,
with this department, in combating hate/bias incidents within Michigan
communities.
It takes a great deal of courage to speak out on an issue of such
controversy. I look forward to working with the people of Traverse City
in an ongoing effort to develop a state wide network to combat hate/
bias crimes and incidents.
I speak for Dr. Nan Reynolds in reiterating that the department staff
continues to be available as a resource to participate in related
community activities, and to lend our support and technical assistance
in ways that will be helpful.
Best regards,
Cathy Milett, Coordinator

T
Senator George McManus
Capitol Building
Lansing, Ml 48913
Dear Senator McManus,
My Scottish grandmother used to refer to the Irish as if they were
something of a subhuman race. As a kid, I mentioned it to a German
friend, and we both had a big laugh. It made no sense. To us, it seemed
so silly. Going a step further, he relayed how his mother used to refer
to the Italians as being, "not quite white." We had a big chuckle on
that one, as well. Boy were they ever dumb, we thought.

Letters continued next page
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

15

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Isn't it nice how often time can heal the wounds of the past? What
is deadly for one generation, can seem completely ludicrous to the
next. The bible belt had its share of problems giving up slavery. Who
would have believed that racial equality would become the law of the
land? After all, didn't they used to say that blacks were like animals?
One thing that can't be argued is the clearly subservient role that the
bible defines for women . I'll let you be the one to remind them of this.
Each generation has to deal with its own bigotry. Time that could
be used to do good, is instead wasted on hatred. Although we may be
more selective, we differ from the Serbs/Bosnians and all, primarily by
our choice of weaponry.
Every opportunity that I've had, I have voted for you. Johnson Oil
gave me one of your signs, and I proudly placed it on my "almost on
the interchange" lawn. Dr. David Darby has often told me about your
effectiveness at getting things done in Lansing, and your willingness to
listen. The boost that you have given horse racing has saved the sport,
and all the jobs that go with it. I couldn't have been happier with the
job that you've been doing. But... on the discriminatory anti-gay bill
that penalizes universities who pay benefits to same sex couples .. . you
really blew it!
Gay bashing is usually justified by three nonsensical arguments.
The first is choice.
"Don't they choose to be gay?' Only an idiot would choose to
shock his friends, horrify his parents, get legally fired from his job, and
risk physical assault from macho-bullies acting in the name of God.
Then, if it goes before a judge, he's apt to think, oh well, it was wrong,
but it was just a fag. Did you choose to be heterosexual? Could you
have chosen to be gay instead? Imagine what it must be like as a child
to be called a fag, queer, limp wrist, etc. Can you imagine how horrible
that must feel? No wonder that approximately 40% of teen suicides are
homosexual kids escaping from the anguish of a tormenting world.
What child would choose to be "a fairy"? Would a caring, loving,
sensitive God want us to react this way to one of his creations?
It's always amazing to me how individuals can take an inclusive
book of love, kindness, and tolerance, and turn it into an exclusive,
vindictive book of hatred. Hope that you're not reading this on a

Sunday as the bible prescribes death for that offense. Forget to shave
this morning? Good, you've overcome the sin of shaving. Remember
now, no shellfish, rabbit or pork. Strong drink? Forget that too. You
have paid cash for your house and cars? Also, you might mention to
the Governor and any of your divorced and re-married friends, that the
bible considers that to be adultery.
This Sunday, I'll be rollerski training to prepare for next ski season.
I'll do about 26 km (16 miles). Would you like to join us? It's my
normal, natural routine on Sunday. I just love it, although I'm sure that
it's not natural for most people. What is natural and where do we draw
the line? Do we draw a line at all? Some of us even appear to enjoy
golf! We humans are such a wonderfully diverse lot. It makes us what
we are, with the whole, being greater than the sum of the parts. But
diversity is not just limited to humans, every species of mammals has
homosexuals within its ranks. Do we respond by saying, "how awful,"
or, do we embrace and accept their contributions.
You have been presented with a wonderful opportunity to move
this generation a step away from the bigotry and hate of the past. A
chance to start healing the wounds. Will we be the subject of our
grandchildrens' ridicule, or will we be remembered as leaders doing
our best to relieve the suffering and injustice inflicted by the past? The
Germans are still apologizing to the Jews. Will the next generation be
forced to apologize for us? It's not just the support of lesbians and gays
that you'll gain, but also, the respect and the admiration of anyone with
a kind heart and a tolerant attitude. Let the bigots go, you don't need
them. Please re-consider your support of this homophobic,
discriminatory piece of legislation. It's unworthy of a leader like you.
Look into the faces of those seething proponents of hate, if you
have any remaining doubt. Is that where you want to be aligned. There
is a fundamental choice for al I of us. Why not choose love, caring, and
concern in the place of hatred and bigotry?
Sincerely yours,
David R. Forbush, D.V.M .

FRIENDS NORTH, INC,, P,O, Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, Ml 49685-0562
YES, I want to be a supporting member of the Friends North Organization.
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NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

16

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

WORDS AND MUSIC: A LOCAL GUIDE
TO BOOKS AND MAGS, TAPES & CD's
By Rick Gould

Here are some suggestions by our local book and music stores
for any lulls in your exciting summer!
Atthe Bookie Joint, Shelley gave us this list:
Books:
Cassel/i's Queer Quizbook by David Pollard, $4.95. Brainteasers and not-so-trivial pursuits of gay heritage.
The Ultimate Guide to Lesbian and Gay Film and Video, edited
by Jenni Olson. Info on more than 2,000 works of filn:i. $25.00.
Music:
Intimacy, Bruce Roberts. Roberts has written hits for Streisand
and many others. Hear, Elton John, James Ingram, Luther Vandross,
and k.d. lang sing along. Cassette: $10.98, CD: $16.98.
Global Divas is a panoramic collection of women vocalists from
around the world. 30 nations and 41 selections represent this theme.
Included: Piaf, Aretha, Varttina, Patsy Cline and more. Cassette:
$9.98; CD: $15.98.
Passionflower, Fred Hersch. A brilliant, gay jazz pianist has
crafted an exquisite album. Cassette: $10.98; CD: $16.98.
At AB CD's, Norm made these recommendations:
Duncan Sheik. This debut CD on Atlantic is one of the best in a
long time. Norm is getting everyone hooked on Duncan and I am
his latest disciple. Romantic and introspective, he's currently touring
with labelmate and Interlachen Alum, Jewel, who's own debut CD
isn't so bad, either.
Dilate, Ani Difranco. Righteous Babe herself delivers another
exceptional collection of cutting edge tunes. Notable cut: Shameless.
Mention you read it here and get Dilated for $13.99, for a limited
time, while current inventory lasts.
All For You, Diane Krall. A jazz tribute to Nat King Cole has
become a surprise hit.
Mission Impossible Soundtrack. Odd, 10 of the cuts on this
album are not in the film. Sorta like "Kiss From A Rose" in "Batman
Forever"! Oh, well. Massive Attack, Bjork, Skunk Anansie and
Longpigs contributes as well as the theme song, instrumental by
Danny Elfman.
B. Dalton's had these suggestions:
Whitman's Men--Walt Whitman with contemporary

J[L

DUNESWOOD
in NORTHERN MICHIGAN

Cross Country Ski

7J~ORBUSH CORNER, INC.

a woman's resort with 12 private
housekeeping rooms nestled on 7 acres
of secluded woods. Also in nearby Glen Arbor,
MARGE & JOANNE'S B&B
Open all year, no pets, WOMEN ONLY.
Near Traverse City. For info: Marge & Joanne's,
PO Box 457, Glen Arbor, MI 49636
(616) 334-3346.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

photographs. The Calamus poems from Walt Whitman's "Leaves of
Grass" shown at its purest and most spontaneous. The photographs
accentuate the themes: the search for love; loneliness and death.
$18.95.
The Sibling Society by Robert Bly. Drawing upon a diverse
assortment of poetry, myth, and current trends, Bly postulates that the
traditional concepts of childhood and adulthood have been lost. Bly
says that we have become a nation of one behaviour: adolescence.
Greed and envy have replaced moral values and hard work. The
book is intended as a wake up call to ourselves. $25.00.
Outrage by Vincent Bugliosi. This is the famed Charles Manson
prosecutor's Monday Morning quarterback look at the O.J. trial and
what went wrong. I think we know that already! $25.00.
At Horizon Books, Alex suggested the following:
And Say Hi To Joyce: The Life and Chronicles of a Lesbian
Couple by Deb Price and Joyce Murdoch. Both are in the newspaper
biz, and Deb has a column in the Detroit News. Finally out in paper.
$12.95.
Fodor's Gay Guide To The USA: The Most Comprehensive
Guide for Gay and lesbian Travelers by Andrew Collins. New and in
softcover: $19.50.
A Boy named Phyllis: A Surbaban Memoir by Frank Decaro. A
switch: a gay memoir that is funny and upbeat! Frank recalls growing
up different in his Italian New Jersey neighborhood in the 60s and
70s, remembering his favorite things: Elton John, disco, the
Entemann's factory on the corner, the unlived-in living room, Keith
Patridge worship and so much more! $22.95 .
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us this list:
Gay Olympian: The Life and Death of Tom Waddell by Tom
Waddell and Dick Schaap. This athlete did much to dispel
stereotypes of masculinity and sports. He was a revelation to
mainstream America when he appeared on 20/20 with his
partner to talk about Waddell's AIDS diagnosis. An inspiring
tribute. $23.00.
Heaven's Coast: A Memoir by Mark Doty. This award-winning
book by poet Doty is about the death of his lover from AIDS. Simple
and simply unforgettable. $23.00.
The Beauty Of Men by Andrew Holleran. The fine novelist's
lead character deals with the shame of mourning his own loss of
youth while others around him are dying young. This provocative
tale is also a universal one. $25.00.
These stores appreciate your business and suggestions.

• Over 35 km of trails, machine set for both skating and striding from,
beginner to expert.
• Just 1/ 4 mile east of 1-75 at the Lewiston/Frederic exit (264)
• Performance ski shop, rentals and instruction
• Bunkhouse and two warming areas
• Weekend food service
• One kilometer night ski trail
P.O . Box 327
4971 County Road 612
Dave Forbush
Frederic, Michigan 49733
(51 7) 348-5989

17

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

IN FOCUS

PERRY WATKINS
1served, withpride, honoranddistinction, from induction lo rehiemenl An A/dean
American, who is homosexual. I am the first to do so and there is no reason I
shouldbe the lasl quite like the mnner who broke the /0111 minute mile, to improve
on his effort, the s11ccessfll/ ones studied his techniques. ._Per,y J. Walkins
Sergeant A"rsl Class U.S. Army (Rel1ied) in a /el/er lo President Clinton.
by Morgan Gwenwald
Before we ever heard that phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," Sgt. Perry
Watkins was not only telling, he was performing regular drag acts while
serving in the U.S. Army. Despite his recent death, the story of Perry
Watkins and his struggle with the U.S. Government lives on as one of
the most remarkable chapters in our fight for inclusion in the military.
Perry was drafted into the Army in 1968 at the height of the
Vietnam war. On his official forms he checked the box "yes" in
acknowledgment of his homosexual tendencies. He described his
enlistment experience:
... as the examining physician held my Report of Medical History form
in his hands and asked me, "What does this mean?" pointing to the
block I had checked "yes." I said, "It means just what it says." He then
asked, "And what is that?" With six other people present and
listening, I said, "It means that I am homosexual." I made my
statement with pride and dignity without shame or fear. I was
immediately sent to an Army psychiatrist, who believed humiliation
was part of the evaluation process. I was asked about sexual conduct,
and acknowledged both oral and anal activity ... I was ultimately
found qualified for service and drafted in May of 1968.
Perry went on to negotiate his way of serving with pride and
professionalism, being open about his sexuality to the chain of
command and his fellow soldiers, and demanding the same respect
and protection afforded all soldiers. He re-enlisted several times and
served successfully for the next fourteen years. Within that time he
also performed for the Army as "Simone," his drag persona.
Then in 1982 the Department of Defense issued a directive
dictating "homosexuality incompatible with military service," and
claiming it undermined discipline, good order, and morale. At this
period the Army moved to expel Perry, and discharged him three
years later when his enlistment expired.
Perry fought this decision with the help of the ACLU over the next
several years in Watkins v. U.S. Army. In 1989 a federal appeals court
ordered him reinstated to active duty, reasoning that if the army
drafted him and repeatedly re-enlisted him knowing he was gay, then
they couldn't discharge him for being gay. The Justice Department
appealed the decision but the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear
the case and let stand the decision of the lower court. Perry thus
became the first openly gay serviceman to defeat the ban against gays
in the military. He settled his suit with the Army, agreeing to forgo reentry to the military in return for back pay, honorable discharge, full
retirement benefits, and a promotion to sergeant first class.
Perry's groundbreaking story was told in a 1994 documentary
entitled "Sis: The Perry Watkins Story." Perry went on making public
appearances around the country, talking about his experience in the
armed forces. Nothing so clearly and irrefutably displayed the Army's
hypocrisy around its gay and lesbian policy as Perry's case.

On March 17, 1996 Perry J. Watkins died of AIDS-related
complications in his home in Tacoma, Washington, at age 47. He is
remembered by GLAAD as a soldier who was asked and who DID
tell, and served anyway; who wore his uniform and his drag outfits
with equal pride. He was a courageous role model for gay men and
lesbians not only in the military, but in all parts of society.

GAY TEEN APPEALS
FOR HELP AT SCHOOL
* Board delays action to ban harassment
By Dan Shine, (Reprinted from the Detroit Free Press)
Allen Park, Ml- The Allen Park School Board delayed action Monday
on revising a policy that forbids, among other things, harassment of
students because of sexual orientation. The issue was brought up at
a May meeting when the mother of 14-year-old Joshua Winowiecki
asked the board to protect her son from harassment by other students
at Allen Park High School.
About two months earlier, Joshua had told a friend that he was gay.
After word got out, Joshua was spit on by students, called names, had
pictures of naked men tossed at him and stones thrown at him. The boy,
his mom, a civil rights attorney and members of area gay and lesbian
groups attended the May 13 school board meeting. They said the family
would sue unless the board acted to stop the harassment.
The Allen Park situation reflects a growing trend nationwide as
school districts struggle with how to protect gay and lesbian students
from harassment. School board member Robert Bratten on Monday
night Uune 3) asked for the delay to further study the policy's proposed
wording. The board will address the issue again June 10. Board
members unanimously agreed, angering many attending the standingroom-only meeting held at Allen Park High School. 'Shame on you,'
said Raymond Salliotte 111, Joshua's attorney. 'It's a sad day in Allen Park.'
Joshua said he was disappointed by the board's action, noting
that he 'still hears comments every day.' Some victims of such abuse
have taken their cases to court. Patricia Logue, an attorney for
Lambda Legal Defense Fund in Chicago, represents a former
Wisconsin high school student. Jamie Nabozny and his parents sued
the Ashland, Wis ., district last year in federal court, claiming it had

1969 S. Airport Road West• Traverse City fax 616-941-1158 • Ph 616-941-2298

NE'IWORKING 45°NORTH

18

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

not protected him from antigay harassment. Logue said gay and
lesbian students 'should have a safe learning environment, regardless

these occasions, however, the officers made it clear he could avoid a beating

of what you think of that student.'

"It seemed impossible for me to hide the fact that I am gay," said Fedetov,
a dark-haired, dark-eyed, clean cut youth who was also victimized because

NOTE: Allen Park High School, 18401 Champaign, Allen Park,
Ml 48101
Triangle Foundation (Gay and
Lesbian Anti-violence
organization), 19641 W. 7 Mile Road, Detroit, Ml 48219, 313-5373323

if he agreed to pay a bribe.

of his half-Armenian heritage and appearance. "I do not generally tell people
I am gay, but they seem to be able to tell from the way I dress in certain
American blue jeans and T-shirts, from the way I carry myself and from other
gay friends I am often with."
"I had heard that in Los Angeles, gay people can live free from
persecution. It was my dream to come to the United States, where I could live
freely."
After getting an exit visa for travel to Mexico, and working months to

L.A. GAY & LESBIAN CENTER WINS
LANDMARK AsYLUM CASE FOR
PERSECUTED RUSSIAN YOUTH

afford a plane ticket out of the country, he flew to Mexico City in December,
1995. From there he rode to Tijuana in a bus. Before he could enter the United
States at San Ysidro he was robbed of all his money.
Days later, while attempting to get to Los Angeles, he was captured by
INS officials at the San Clemente checkpoint for entering without a visa and

FIRST DECISION BY A JUDGE

transferred to their detention facility at Terminal Island. Expecting to be
deported but looking for support during his confinement, he found a phone
book ad for the Gay & Lesbian Center's Youth Talkline. Counselors there,

GMNG SEXUAL ORIENTATION-BASED AsYLUM TO A RUSSIAN
LOS ANGELES, May 19, •1996 -

A 23-year-old gay Russian man,

beaten and jailed in his home country because of his sexual orientation, is

having difficulty communicating with him, referred him to a Russian Gay &
Lesbian Support Group ,w hich put him in touch with the City of West

now a free man living in West Hollywood, thanks to a landmark asylum case
won by the Immigration Law Project of the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian

Hollywood's Russian liaison, Eugene Alper.
Fedetov was unaware that persecution based on one's sexual orientation

Community Services Center.
A native of a smal I town 400-m i les northeast of Moscow, Sergey Fedetov
was beaten, interrogated and/or jailed by police officials, and threatened by

was grounds for asylum, but Alper suspected he had a good case. He quickly
contacted the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project which
took the case on January 22, 1996.

school officials, on as many as 15 occasions.
"They arrested me because they could tell I was gay and they do not
think we should be alive or in Russia," said Fedetov, through an interpreter.

According to attorney Cheryl Gertler, one of two volunteer attorneys
who worked on the case, Fedetov was very reluctant to provide details about

"Although the Russian government recently repealed the law outlawing
homosexuality, this has not changed the mistreatment by the police and other

the extensive abuse he faced in Russia.

Russian people. If anything, the increasing anarchy in my country has made

and saddened to realize that Sergey had accepted as normal the beating and

it worse."
On one occasion, Fedetov and a friend were arrested by three officers

harassment he had endured simply because he is gay."

"During the course ofourquestioning him," said Gertler, "I was shocked

As compelling as Fedetov's case was, the Gay & Lesbian Center's

because they were "obvious homosexuals." At the police station he was

Immigration Law Project Coordinator, Jeff Kim, and the Project's two

thrown around, slapped in the face, and hi ton the back with a "demokratiser''

volunteer attorneys, Gertler and John Craig, knew they were facing an uphill

(rubber baton) by an interrogator who ordered him to reveal the names of

battle.

other gay people. When he refused, he was jailed in a small cell with three

"Sexual orientation-based asylum is extremely difficult to attain," said

other people for more than nine hours without food or water.
Upon his release, Fedetov was interrogated by officials at his high school,

Kim. "Only 36 have been granted in the entire country and never had a judge
awarded asylum to a Russian on this basis. When the judge deported three
people prior to Sergey's hearing, we were very nervous."
"We were successful only through the combination of Sergey's

who learned he was gay from the police. The school officials threatened to
have him registered as a juvenile delinquent if he did to change his behavior.
Of the six times he was taken into custody by police, only once did he

compelling account of persecution, the dedicated teamwork of extraordinary
volunteer attorneys, top-notch expert testimony, and able assistance from the

avoid a severe beating. On the occasions he was not arrested, he and his
friends were taunted by the authorities, who would yell insults and demand

City of West Hollywood's Russian community liaison and the San Francisco-

the names of other gay people. They would also make a scene, so as to let

based International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission."

neighbors and passersby know he was gay. The harassment of gay people
was too much for one of his friends, who ended his life by jumping from the

"Since I fled the country, I know that I would have faced even more
severe persecution by governmental authorities if I were returned to Russia,"
said Fedetov. "I'm very grateful to the Gay & Lesbian Center, my attorneys,

ninth floor of a building.
The police also "warned" his mother of his behavior and surprised him

Eugene and all those who have been so kind to me. I believe they have saved

at home once a month to intimidate him and demand information about other

my life."

gay people.
This abuse of gay people was not unique to his hometown. After moving

Though Fedetov has his freedom now, he has little else. The Gay &
Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project is in the process of getting him a
work permit, but meanwhile he is in need of basic items such as clothing,

to Moscow in June, 1984, to earn enough money to flee to the United States,
he was stopped and detained by police officials on at least five occasions. On

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

19

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

toiletries, shoes, and money. For information on how you can help, call 213860-7350.
The mission of the Gay & Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project is to
offer legal assistance to lesbian and gay immigrants and immigrants with HIV.
Nearly 300 people were helped last year and more than 450 people are
expected to be served this year.
The Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Community Services Center, with more
than 240 employees and an annual budget of $18 million, is the largest gay
and lesbian organization in the world, one of the nation's leading HIV/AIDS
care providers and equal rights advocates, and home to an array of free or
low cost health, educational, cultural and social programs welcoming 14,000
visits from ethnically diverse youth and adults each month.

It is not necessary to talk [about being gay in Spain].
Everybody is tolerant. People are not classifled with that, and
you know, I absolutely refuse that classiflcation. For that
reason when someone says, Well you are an openly gay
director,' come on. Stop. I'm a director. 11

By Susan Estrich

GAY MARRIAGE BATTLE ABOUT WHO

_i;;r1'\:c~

OurHopeorGoal ... ls
t o ~
promote unity within the Little Traverse
~
..-.~
Bay Gay Community.
~......-..:;
~

--......

The Petoskey Group is expanding, and
would like your input, ideas and suggestions ...
The list that follows are some of our ideas ...

~

BOWLING TEAMS ... CAMPING ... WOMEN'S AND MEN'S CHOIRS ...
ALTERNATIVE SINGING GROUPS ... GAY SUPPORT GROUPS ... GAY
M GROUPS ... COOKING & BAKING... GARDENING... AooPT-AHIGHWAY... HIKING ... BIKING... WALKING ... GAY SERVICES...
COMPILE A REsOURCE GUIDE ... QUILTING GROUPS ... AEROBICS
CLASSES ... SomALL TEAMS ... DART LEAGUES ... WELCOME
WAGONS ... BOOK ExCHANGES ... VIDEO EXCHANGES ... GoLF
TEAMS ... YOURS HERE.
This is your opportunity to be part of something very
positive ... Any and all are asked to respond with your suggestions
to either:
Tim Evans @ 1-616-348-8151
Larry Rogers

@

1-616-348-1622 Day Time
1-616-347-7123 Evenings/Weekends

Dan Doran

@

1-906-635-9263

June Weber

@

1-517-732-4144

NE1WORKING 45° NORTH

Over the last few months there have been hundreds, perhaps
thousands, of articles and opinions on same-sex marriage in
newspapers around the country. It all began getting attention right
around the Iowa primary, when some notable Republicans suggested
that America adopt a "Defense of Marriage" stance.
Following this, many states have banned same-sex marriage and
almost all others have debated the issue. The US Congress has even
introduced their own bills that would condemn gay marriage while
touting hetersexual marriages. I pulled the following opinions and
fragmented articles to give you an idea of what is being said in
defense of 'marriage for everyone.'

USA TODAY-COUNTERPOINTS COLUMN

• -Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar

PETOSKEY GROUP

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE:
THE RESPONSE

WE ARE

LOS ANGELES- Was I the last one to learn that Dennis Rodman was
a cross-dresser? Or to .wonder how a country that celebrates him as a
hero could also embrace the much-married hypocrites who have
been touting the Marriage Defense Act for their own political gain?
I don't blame President Clinton for announcing up front that he'd sign
a totally unnecessary bill of dubious constitutionality which contradicts
every conservative principle of federalism. What choice did he have? We
all know the Republicans would have wrapped this one around his neck
if he didn't sign it; can you even imagine the 30-second ads?
But the legislation - which would deny federal benefits to same-sex
couples - is still a disgrace. What are we so afraid of? That being gay- being
the object of public derision, Satanic denunciation and widespread
discrimination - will now be too attractive to our kids because the state of
Hawaii might allow them court-authorized marriages?
Granting two people a license under civil law does not mean we
approve of the union, but that we leave such decisions to the
individuals, their families and their God. The difference between our
religious beliefs and civil law is the definition of tolerance.
The real script here is political, and gays are just the latest pawns.
Single-sex marriage makes sense in these terms. It's a classic wedge
issue. You force the president to alienate some of his supporters. You
divide Democrats, depress gay participation, and win points for
values. What could go wrong?
Maybe we're better than they think. In the end, the real issue
posed by the legislation is not your view of single-sex marriage, but
your tolerance of nasty political mud fights at the expense of those
whose votes aren't being sought. It's not really about them. It's about
the rest of us. Americans may not like gay marriage, but we don't like
gay-bashing either.

THE BOSTON GLOBE
ELLEN GOODMAN COLUMN
BOSTON-Memo to the Congress: Thanks for thinking of me, but I
don't need you to defend my marriage. My husband and I can handle
that ourselves.

20

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Spare me "The Defense of Marriage Act" label on a bill banning
same-sex marriages. The name implies that the value of heterosexual
marriages goes down once you let homosexuals into the institution.
There goes the neighborhood.
I don't buy this realtor's view of relationships. Gay and lesbian
couples who want to wed aren't trying to assail the grounds for
marriage. They're trying to share them. If anything, they want to
stabilize the gay community.
This defense act dreamed up by the Republican right is a
mischievous, gratuitous attempt to find a wedge in the political tool
box. And now that President Clinton has promised to sign it, we ought
to call it The Protection of Political Flank Act.
That said, I still want to ask how we ever got to the point where
the dominant gay rights issue of 1996 is marriage. You couldn't pick
a more volatile terrain .
We are all over the map on gay rights issues. There are places in
America where it is still illegal to have same-sex sex, let alone
marriage.
On Tuesday the Supreme Court ruled that a state couldn't ban
civil rights protections for homosexuals. But that isn't the same as
extending their rights. Even so, the ruling entailed a knock-down fight
between justices that had Scalia sputtering about gays with "high
disposable income" and "political power much greater than their
numbers."
(Dear Antonin: If you want them to lose some of that high
disposable income, encourage them to raise kids.)
Frankly, the wedding alarm bells sound like a diversion. There's
lots of good old-fashioned discrimination going around in housing
and jobs. There are plenty of hate crimes. And if you think that the
issue of gays in the military has been resolved, don't ask and don't
tel I them that.

THE WASHINGTON POST

federal recognition of same-sex marriages. That a conservative court
would take up the issue of homosexual rights for the first time in a
decade and then rule in gays' favor is clear reason to celebrate. That
a Democratic president would then seemingly knock us back down
is, well, reason to celebrate too.
What's going on here? We're a gay couple, so how could we be
cheering a president who claims to be for gays but against gay
marriage? How could two women, together for seven years, applaud
a White House decree that seems to so baldly undermine our
relationship?
The gay movement's top ranks don't see it this way, but Clinton
has displayed tactical skill by not grabbing the political bait
conservatives were offering. Congressional Republicans had hoped
to cast Clinton as a social extremist by introducing anti-gay legislation
in an election year on the theory that a president who supported gays
in the military would surely embrace gays in matrimony. He didn't,
and the movement could someday have that to thank him for.
Thank him because Clinton's cunning may be the only thing
saving the gay movement's broader civil rights agenda. The Supreme
Court ruling opened a door to possible change, but gays can still be
denied a job, refused a mortgage or rejected for health benefits solely
on the basis of who they return home to at night. Now, suddenly, the
fractious issue of same-sex marriage has erupted into the most critical
issue defining gays in this country and their rights as citizens. And if
the movement's chances of achieving more basic legal protections
end up being forfeited because gay marriage has taken center court,
we have only ourselves to blame.
Whether gay marriage is a good or bad thing is not so much the
point. What should concern gays is that their leadership has played
masterfully into conservative hands by allowing this to become the
chief emblem of their cause.

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Sunday, June 16, 1996

GAY MARRIAGE TRAP

Friday June 7,

7996

GAY RIGHTS ADVOCATES QUESTION EFFORT TO
DEFEND SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

*We Fell Into a Right-Wing Ambush

By DAVID W. DUNLAP
Fearing a political battle that will divert attention from what they
regard as more critical issues - and one that will ultimately be lost
- some influential homosexuals are questioning the high-profile
campaign by major gay groups to defend same-sex marriage.

By Liz Spayd and Brigid Quinn
IN THE same week the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that gays
cannot be categorically singled out for discrimination, President
Clinton announced his intention to sign legislation that would deny

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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

In the heat of a presidential campaign, an issue that lesbian and
gay organizers had planned to advance much more deliberately has
suddenly become a top priority.
"The Defense of Marriage Act is an out-of-control freight train
and will be darn near impossible to stop," said David Smith, the
communications director for the Human Rights Campaign, a national
gay group. "We're treating it as an anti-gay attack and we're going to
fight it tooth and nail until the bitter end."
That all-out strategy concerns other gay-rights advocates, who
have tried not to break ranks publicly but have conceded in interviews
that they are troubled by the way in which the issue is playing out.
"The gay and lesbian movement is marching down the wrong
path and running a disastrous course," said Keith Boykin, executive
director of the National Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum in
Washington. "We don't have public support. We don't even have
unanimity within the gay and lesbian community."
Paula Ettelbrick, legislative counsel to the Empire State Pride
Agenda, a political group in New York state, said, "It doesn't seem
worth it to put all our eggs in the marriage basket."
"Everything is being judged as good or bad according to one issue,"
Ms. Ettelbrick added. "That's very dangerous for us politically."
Even those in the gay rights movement who question the current
political strategy agree that it would be ideal if the rights, benefits and
responsibilities of civil marriage were extended to couples of the same sex.
Marriage so swiftly became the emblematic gay rights issue of
the season that lesbian and gay organizers were left with little time
to build political alliances.
"We have lost - if, in fact, we ever had - the luxury of
deliberation and reflection," said Kathryn Kendell, the legal director
of the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco. "We are
now fighting for our political life."
"What we needed to learn from the military fight is that we have
to build more political power before we win any gay issue on a
national level," said Urvashi Vaid, who wrote "Virtual Equality: The
Mainstreaming of Gay and Lesbian Liberation," which was published
last year by Anchor Books.
"We didn't pick this fight," said Robert Knight of the Family
Research Council in Washington. "The only reason there is this
legislative activity is because homosexual activists have tried to
impose their agenda through judicial fiat."

INTERNATIONAL UPDATE
-Staffwriter

.,.,GAY MARRIAGE" BILL BECOMES LAW
The Althing, Iceland's legislative assembly, has (on 4 June 1996)
made law a bill which in effect gives the go-ahead to gay marriage.
Under the new law, homosexuals in officially registered 'confirmed
cohabitation' are granted the same rights and duties, with certain
exceptions, as married heterosexual couples.
Although generally seen as a major piece of human rights
legislation, some in Iceland's gay community allege that the new law
leaves legalised anti-gay discrimination intact. Such claims centre on
the law's clauses which deny homosexuals in recognised
cohabitation the right to adopt children or to avail of artificial
insemination technology. (from the Iceland Review)

CANADA TO EXTEND SAME-SEX
PARTNER HEAL TH BENEFITS
OTTAWA - Canada's human rights tribunal ruled Thursday that
the federal government must extend health benefits to same-sex
partners of government employees.
"We have said all along that it was discriminatory to deny benefits
to those in a same-sex relationship while extending the same benefits
to heterosexual couples," Canadian Human Rights Commission chief
commissioner Maxwell Ya Iden said in a news release.
The tribunal's decision was based on complaints by two federal
employees against the departments of Immigration and Foreign
Affairs .
The two alleged that they were discriminated against on the basis
of sexual orientation when their applications for benefits for their
same-sex partners were denied.
"Lesbian and gay employees contribute to the same workplace
benefit plans as heterosexuals. We are entitled to receive the equal
benefit of those plans. Today's ruling is a milestone for us," said Stan
Moore, a foreign service officer and one of the plaintiffs.
Canada's parliament recently passed a bill to add sexual
orientation to the Canadian Human Rights Act, thus banning
discrimination against homosexuals in federal agencies and federally
regulated companies.

continued next page

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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Pro erty of the Ct:mer

1

Univiliill~ll lilfii~i~llH1[1i11mi1~11imi11d,

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Triangle continued

M 001 111 471

Thursday's tribunal ruling was based, however, on a 1992
decision by the Ontario Court of Appeal that the Canadian Human
Rights Act can be interpreted to cover sexual orientation .
"This decision only applies to federal public servants. But if a
similar case would go to a tribunal involving an airline or a railroad,
which are federally regulated companies, we'd hope it would be the
same kind of decision," said Canadian Human Rights Commission
spokeswoman Donna Balkan.
She added that most federally regulated private companies
already provide benefits for same-sex couples.
"For example most of the major banks, the (Canadian
Broadcasting Corporation), Bell Canada, Air Canada,.already provide
these benefits. So we don't have very many cases at this point,"
Balkan said.

HUNGARY'S GAYS
WELCOME LAW ON RIGHTS
BUDAPEST, Hungary - In early May, Hungary's gay community
welcomed a new law giving homosexuals and heterosexuals equal
legal and financial rights in long-term relationships, but said there
was still room for improvement.
The Hungarian parliament passed the amendment to its Civil
Code Tuesday by 207 votes to 73. There were five abstentions.
"We welcome the fact that parliament passed this law," Geza
Juhasz of the gay organization Szivarvany (Rainbow) " But I don't
think this proves that most MPs are more enlightened."
Opposition politicians voting against the amendment said it
contradicts Hungary's values and public opinion.
"The law was actually imposed on parliament by the
Constitutional Court," Juhasz said, adding that his organization said
it was too early to talk of same-sex marriages.
"(Gay marriage) might become possible in a few years' time, but
probably only in a legal construction giving actual marriage rights but
using a different name," Juhasz said.
He added that while there has been notable improvement in gay
rights during the last years, the process was very slow.
Hungarian legislation on homosexuality was relatively liberal,
even in the communist era. While some other communist countries
punished consenting adult homosexuals, Hungarian law only did so
where one partner was under 18, the legal age of consent for
homosexuals.

President Nelson Mandela's party reached agreement on May
7th with the white-led main opposition party on a new constitution,
ensuring its passage as promised two years after the end of apartheid.
A bill of rights would guarantee the rights to adequate housing,
food, water, education and health care, all of which were denied the
black majority during the apartheid era. It also would ban
discrimination on the basis of race, gender, sexual orientation, age,
pregnancy or marital status.

RUSSIA'S GAYS
VOTE AGAINST COMMUNIST PARTY
MOSCOW- Russia's gays and lesbians said that a communist
victory in a presidential election on June 16 would have been a
tragedy for the country.
"Under no circumstances would we have voted for Russian
communist leader Gennady Zyuganov," lnterfax news agency quoted
the head of the gay and lesbian movement Roman Kalinin as saying.
"A Communist president would be a tragedy not only for us, gays and
lesbians, but for the ~hole of Russia."
Zyuganov was the strongest challenger to President Boris Yeltsin
in the election.
Kalinin, who said the movement represented five percent of
Russia's 150 million population, spoke after its congress in Moscow,
which was closed to the press.
Under the old Soviet rules, gays faced jail terms of up to seven
years under a law banning male homosexual acts which was
repealed only in 1993. WGays still face strong prejudice in Russian
society and most lead an underground lifestyle.
In early July, Boris Yeltsin was declared the winner in this year's
Presidential election. (See related story: Russian Youth Given
Asylum elsewhere in this issue-Editor)

2.1 MICHICiAN
WOMYN*S
MUSIC
FESTIVAL
11

August 13-18. 1996
Come ond ioin us as we

BLAIR SIGNALS DEAL ON GAYS

begin our third

By Michael White, The Guardian

decade of

LONDON-Tony Blair signalled yesterday that an incoming
Labour government would negotiate "proper codes of conduct with
the military" over the acceptance of gays and lesbians in the armed
forces - designed to reconcile concerns on both sides.
Gay lobbists expressed dismay that the Labour leader - unlike
1O shadow cabinet colleagues - abstained rather than support
Edwina Currie's amendment to the Armed Forces Bill which would
have put homosexual and heterosexual conduct on the same
disciplinary footing in the ranks.

NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH

SOUTH AFRICA GOVERNMENT
PROTECTS GAYS AND LESBIANS

w oods,
the music,
the extravagant
days and
star-filled nights .. .
the womyn and
magic of Michigan.

23

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Carol continued from page 9

to discover her identity as a lesbian.
"As I got more healthy I was able to identify these issues. So then
I got involved with the Out 'n About Coffeehouse, which actually
started as a group of women who got together as a discussion group
initiated by Loraine Anderson after she wrote the article in which she
came out in the Record-Eagle. There was a group of about ten of us
who got together to discuss the issues surrounding homophobia,
internal and external. After a few meetings we came up with the
concept of how networking and community really helps-especially
for those of us who are up in the woods ... homophobia can be
exacerbated by being isolated-that's one aspect of it. So our
discussion groups came to the topic of 'Why don't we have a
coffeehouse?"'
And so they did it at Unity Church. Women came from all over,
and the coffeehouse is now starting its third year of meeting one
Saturday night a month.
"That was probably the start of my active career in the gaylesbian community here. The coffeehouse put me in touch with a lot
more lesbians in the comm~nity and other people and that's how I
first discovered Friends North, who they were and what they did, and
the Newsletter. And now here I am-on the board-and then I
accepted the responsibility of being president until the end of the
year. I think we've had a really good leadership person in Jim."
Carol noted that the board has spent a lot of time just with
housekeeping issues because of several resignations and so has not
focused on anything new so far this year.
"I'm still getting to know the organization and its history. It has
been primarily a social organization ... but I'd like to see us be a bit
more political and maybe take on some new avenues of expression
as an organization. One thing I am seeing is that with P-FLAG,
GLSTN, the Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse, and Friends North
there's a scattered attempt at a gay-lesbian community, but I'd like to
see it be more cohesive. We have so many different personalities
involved and so many different goals and no real money to do
anything with ... We need a center, even if it just starts out with a
room-maybe I'll use my basement, I don't know-a couple of file
cabinets, and a telephone."
"My experience at the Creating Change Conference (last fall in
Detroit) is that is how a lot of places started-with Zero, Zippolajust energy and some really dedicated people and now some of them
have million dollar budgets! And with the growth of our (Grand
Traverse) community I think it is a possibility-a central place for the
newsletter, the telephone line, a resource library, coffeehouse,
meetings, etc. That is something to look forward to."
We got back to the subject of coming out.
"Nathan has just come along with me in my recovery and
uncovering my sexuality. He was about 13-terrible age for a kid (to
be hit with this) and he was pretty angry at first but I was just very
honest with him. It came to a head and he said 'You're not who I
thought you were' and I said 'I'm not who I thought I was. But
regardless, I am your mother and I love you and will never, never do
anything that would hurt you ... He cried and I cried ... "
"It was a challenge for him to face his friends and what they

NFIWORKING 45°NORTH

24

Carol looking very
glamorous in the
crotchof a tree.

might say and how he felt about it and yet I never would pretend in
front of his friends ... He had his friends come over to spend the night
and it was OK ... "
Carol nearly ran the car off the road one night when this dialogue
took place in the back seat:
Nathan:
Jeff:
Nathan:
Jeff:

Hey Jeff, did you know my Mom's a lesbian?
Yeah, right, and I'm Johnny Carson.
No, really.
Oh, really. Oh, that's cool.

"And then they started talking about Nintendo, or something. I
had no idea he was going to say this-much less in front of me. I
could imagine them talking in their bedroom ... "
Carol came out to her mother quite soon after she figured it out
for herself.
"But I do remember an incident years ago: I had a crush on one
of my teachers in fourth grade. I talked about her constantly. My mom
said to me 'You know, the way you talk about her I'd think you were
in love with her.' And the way she said it I knew I'd better not talk
about this any more. I can remember it was clear as yesterday. It was
almost like being whacked. What have I done now!"
"So, I eventually came out to the rest of my family, my brothers
and my sister and they all said 'Oh, well, we figured that anyway.'
No one was surprised-not really. I had done all the standard things
when I was growing up. I was married for a while, and I lived with
Nathan's father for a few years."
"And I've noticed this phenomenon with women who have
known pretty much all their lives about their lesbianism ... they've
grown up with the homophobia and the fear that used to be more
prevalent, I feel, then it is today. And with women like myself who
have more recently discovered their lesbianism, I didn't grow up with
that fear. I didn't live with it for 40 years. I don't know it as much. It's
a lot easier for me to be more vocal and out at work with my coworkers. At least that's one of my personal theories ... I'm certainly
grateful to be where I am today.

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996



P,·Jp":rty of the Cent~r
THE NEWSLETTER OF ,..F.Rl!N~;:~;;~~~~-~- INC.,

an association of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and their friends.

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VOLUME

10

•

ISSUE

K

4

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•

JULY

•

AUGUST

G

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1996

5!:ti::0Wk,w----------------------------------TRAVERSE CITY TURNS ITS BACK
ON GAYS/LESBIANS:
-HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION LOSES POWER
Jim Poole

seems to me that you're bringing that much more involvement in
that we might be able to avoid," Thompkins said.
Each commissioner spoke before voting on amending the
personnel policy to include sexual orientation. Here are some
comments from each commissioner:

In a June 17 meeting the Traverse City City Commission
voted 4 to 3 to reject a proposal by the Human Rights
Commission (HRC) to amend the city personnel Taylor:
nondiscrimination policy to include the words "sexual
orientation." In opposition were Commissioners Jasper Weese,
Shelley Kester, Jack Tompkins, and Phil Orth. In support were
Commissioners Lary Hardy, Jack Boynton, and Mayor Peter Boynton:
Taylor. In an identical vote that followed, the city commission
passed a motion by Shelley Kester to give the city commission
the option to review claims of discrimination before sending
them to the Human Rights Commission. Under the original
policy, the city commission automatically referred claims of
discrimination appealed by the city manager to the HRC, Hardy:
which would then investigate the claim, perform mediation,
and report their findings to the city commission.
The new policy will now allow the city commission to Kester:
reject a claim based on sexual orientation without any
investigation or mediation by the HRC. Commissioner Kester
said that the HRC may not be adequately trained to handle
some claims. "My concern is I don't know of anyone on the
commission (and maybe someone can advise me of anyone) Tompkins:
having skills in employment issues," she said.
Commissioners Hardy and Boynton said that having the
city commission take claims could leave cases open for public
debate. "If it comes here it's going to be a community affair
before you ever get started," said Hardy. He also said that
Orth:
people may not make claims for fear of being exposed in public
meetings.
"If it becomes a matter of debate with us each time to
make our own individual decision as to whether or not it
goes to the HRC, I think that's unnecessary and
Weese:
counterproductive," Boynton said.
Commissioner Tompkins said that the HRC could be used as
an advisory body under the city commission's discretion. "It

"So long as there are intolerant people, I believe, in
the world, that's the very reason why we need to
have the words 'sexual orientation' included in this
policy."
"I think that this proposal is a poor second. I have
been on record for not liking lists." "It requires
people to keep coming before us to petition us for
rights which I think they were born with and are
inalienable."
"We've got to be fair, we've got to be just, and
they've got to know that they're not going to be
discriminated against."
"I think the policy we have right now is working, and
I'm going to support the continuation of what we've
been doing, which is continue to hire gay and lesbian
people."
"If we make changes in the policy, I think it implies
to the community, and implies to Richard (Lewis)
that we think maybe something isn't quite the way it
should be in our organization, and that maybe there
is some discrimination."
"(If we expect our elected officials to be absent of
values or standards), we're going to run into a lot of
difficulty not only at this level, but at levels of
government though be it state or the federal levels or
any others."
"I can not support this motion or any motion that has
to do with forcing their lifestyle on me or me forcing
mine on their's."

Richard Tuxbwy

Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N
information.)

FROM THE EDITOR

FRIENDS NORTII is an organization oflesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and
their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. Located in Traverse
City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
and a community needs fund for financial assistance.

Ah, summer, when life is supposed
to slow down enough to enjoy
everything that we missed the rest of the
year. But, lest we get too comfortable
biking and bay-swimming, let's not forget that the world of politics
is still marching on. After all, it's an election year-an important
one-in which gays and lesbians are in the spotlight. Keep an eye
on the Republican convention in San Diego later this month. Look
for the attention that's paid to Pat Buchanan, Pat Robertson, and
Ralph Reed of the Christian Coal it ion. Let's watch to see how they
ally themselves, or perhaps, divide themselves.
A lot has happened since the last election four years ago. The
American public learned how to say "gay" and "lesbian" without
flinching. They became educated by our media to a great extent,
and, even those living in Small Mind, USA appear to be somewhat
savvy. However, there is still a long way to go in understanding
that gays and lesbians live their lives the same as everyone else
does. And, yes, most straights still presume that everyone is
straight until proven otherwise.
Along with this new attention, it seems that the media drew a
line in the sand. People were asked to take sides, and now,
everyone has expressed opinions about gay and lesbian rightsfrom job protection to marriage and military service to adopting
children. We now know who our friends are as well as our
enemies, which makes us far better off as a movement.
There have been some major disappointments in the last few
months, too. Governor Engler just signed into law the bill which
penalizes those educational institutions which grant health
benefits to the partners of its gay and lesbian employees. Today
this includes Wayne State University and the University of
Michigan. We have local Senator McManus to thank for this
unnecessary and discriminatory piece of legislation. In another
self-serving move, Michigan legislators also banned recognition
of same-sex marriage.
Locally, we were dealt a blow by the Traverse City City
Commission in adding "sexual orientation" to the list of protected
classes governing City hiring policies. On the bright side, we
received support from some extraordinary, fair-minded people in
the community, such as Mayor Peter Taylor. We also viewed a
few ignorant and outlandish displays of ego and avoidance, such
as the performance by City Commissioner Jim Tompkins. On the
light, yet frightening, side was Commissioner Weese, whose
ignorant, rambling remarks simply awestruck the crowd. But,
again, sides were drawn, and we have found our friends-those
who believe in fairness-and our enemies-those who prefer to
maintain discrimination and the status quo.
It was a pleasant surprise that same week to receive the June
issue of The New Yorker. The front cover featured a drawing of
two male sailors in a passionate kiss in the middle of a crowded

TIIE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTII is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall, Room 2 in the
cafeteria the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. Everyone is
welcome to attend.
TomLaForte
Tim Evans

Julie Parker

Victor Dinsmoore-secretary M'Lynn Hartwell
Tom Kincaid-VP Carol Lambertson-Pres.
Jim Poole
Scott Southwell-treasurer

Networking 45° Norlh, P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562

NEWSLETTER COMMITIEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor:
Publishing & Layout:
Advertising:
Mailing List:

Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tuxO Ol@aol.com
Richard Curtis: 929-9605
or e-mail: rcurtis695@aol.com
Jim Carruthers: 922-7768
John Evans: 922-0746

Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $120.00 for
6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call
'advertising' for rates.
SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking 45° North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part of this, and
to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #5-August 15; Issue #6-october 15.
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes to our address.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies are sent
bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.

~

printed on recycled paper
NElWORKING 45°NORTH

2

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

with his many years of experience with Friends North and our
local community.
Happy Gay Pride month! It was indeed a time to celebrate,
with the recent victory in the US Supreme Court. The decision
on May 20, 1996 regarding Colorado's Amendment 2 is a
profound victory for all who believe in basic equal rights and the
principle that all Americans deserve to live free from
discrimination and hate crimes.
On a more local note, however, it appears that we still have
our work cut out for us. The Traverse City City Commission again
voted against adding 'sexual orientation' to the City's hiring
policy. In spite of very moving and eloquent comments from area
ministers, an attorney, a psychologist, parents of gays, and
citizens, as well as members of the g/I/b community, the
amendment was voted down 4-3. I would like to thank everyone
who has worked on this issue so far, including those people who
came to the city commission meetings to show support.
I would also Iike to take this opportunity to thank all of you
out there for supporting Friends North by renewing your
newsletter subscription, by including extra money as a donation
to our organization, and by attending our social events. Without
this kind of participation we would not be able to continue.
THANK YOU! We also appreciate feedback; your letters, phone
calls and comments are important. Keep them coming!
Friends North is pleased to announce that in conjunction with
PFLAG and a generous donation, we will be establishing a tollfree telephone "helpline" which will be answered by a trained
person 24 hours a day. We hope to implement this before the end
of the year. Watch Networking 45° North for updates.
Finally, I would like to remind everyone to register and BE
SURE TO VOTE in November. This is the best way to "be
counted". We will do our best to keep you informed of various
issues so that you can make shrewd choices at the polls.
I look forward to serving you as President of Friends North
and invite you to contact me with any concerns, questions or
comments to improve our organization. Call me at 929-7476.

New York street. The caption was 'Don't Ask.' Thank you, editor
Tina Brown for once again giving us your cover.
Dean and Cindy Robb were incredible hosts at our gay pride
celebration. They opened their home and farm to us for that
Saturday afternoon, and the event went off beautifully. About 250
people came and joined in the picnic and gathering: some played
volleyball and others socialized. Twelve people participated in
the morning's bike ride in Leelanau County. Thanks again to
Cindy and Dean, as well as to Frank Noverr, from Noverr
Publishing, whose donation provided for the catered picnic lunch.

Carol Lambertson

FROM THE PRESIDENT
Many of you know that Jim Ingleson
resigned as President of Friends North,
effective with our May Board Meeting. Please
continue to support Jim with your kind thoughts as he heals from
the tragic and sudden death of his life partner, Kevin, in January.
We love you Jim!
The Friends North Board has suffered another loss since May.
Greg Baird has moved on to work in California. Greg contributed
many hours of service to Friends North, and could always be
counted on to attend all meetings and functions. We will miss
him greatly, and we wish him luck and success in his new
ventures. Greg promises to keep in touch via the newsletter as
soon as he is settled.
At our June Board Meeting, then, we had two vacancies to fill
by nomination and election. Tom LaForte, who works in Traverse
City and currently resides in Boyne Falls, and Tim Evans of
Petoskey wil I serve for the remainder of the year. We are grateful
for their energy and enthusiasm.
The completed Board then elected a new President and Vice
President. Tom Kincaid will execute the VP role, backing me up

Carol Lambertson

dive/ coach.

Ci@

fJ,

Madeleine

THOMAS

SCUBA DIVING INSTRUCTION
Private and CD ROM home study courses available
Glenn Sanford, certified NAUI instructor
(616) 946-0433
2671 Shenandoah Drive
Traverse City, Michigan 49684-8922

for DISTRICT

JUDGE

PAID FOR BY TIIE CoMMITIEE TO ELECT THOMAS FOR JUDGE, BoB BRICK, TREASURER

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

3

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Out,n

FRIENDS NORTH GAY AND LESBIAN
HISTORY AND EDUCATION CONFERENCE

+About

Friends North will be sponsoring the second annual Gay and
Lesbian History and Education Conference the weekend of
October 25th through 27th at the Sugar Loaf Resort, located on
the Leelanau Peninsula near Traverse City. The activities will
begin with a hospitality gathering arid registration on Friday night.
On Saturday, registration will take place between 8:00 and 9:00
am with the conference starting at 9:00 am. The conference will
officially close at an informal breakfast on Sunday morning.
Saturday will be filled with two keynote addresses, six
workshops, a luncheon, one-act stage readings, an outdoor walkabout, and a dance.
The workshops will include Gay and Lesbian Teachers,
Lesbians/Gays and the Media: Diversity in Our Community; Local
Gay/Lesbian Rights Ordinances; History Spotlights; and
Generation Issues. The registration fee for the conference wil I be
$25.00 which includes all presentations, lunch, and the dance.
Please locate the conference registration form in the center of this
newsletter and send them in early.
The Resort is reserving rooms for this Friends North event at
the low conference rate of $52.00 per night. The Resort does
request that you fil I out the registration form located in the center
of the newsletter, and mail it in with the $50.00 required deposit,
as soon as possible. Reservations cannot be accepted by phone.
PLEASE NOTE: REGISTRATION FOR THE HOTEL IS
SEPARATE FROM THE CONFERENCE REGISTRATION.

A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information

The Summer heat is high. Traffic is as heavy as a Traverse City
Cherry Festival parade day. Work is at an all time overload and
you were just handed a new project that was due yesterday. The
rent and utility bills are two weeks late. The pets are snarling
because your last quality time with them was prior to the Solstice.
"What did you say your name was," she queried?
Girlfriend! It's time to ESCAPE! Take yourself off to an evening
of "Magic, Music, Mystics & Massage" at the July Out 'n About
Lesbian Coffeehouse. Leave the hustle and bustle at our front door
and join with others in a relaxing atmosphere that affords a respite
from the usual wild, wide world that surrounds us. This
coffeehouse will feature a variety of active and passive areas
where you can enjoy a professional neck and shoulder massage,
or sit to build a dreamcatcher for yourself or a special someone.
Mask-making and creating a wise-woman walking stick may be
your choice; or connecting with others in a circle of drumming
and song. Other pastimes will be available, too.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse will be open from 7
pm until 11 pm on Saturday, July 20. Come and celebrate peace
with old and new friends.
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is managed by an
informal gathering of lesbians who call themselves the Steering
Committee. This committee meets for a few hours on the Monday
prior to the 3rd Saturday coffeehouse for planning of each month's
event. The Committee is always seeking input from you, the
lesbian community, about what or who Out 'n About should
feature in upcoming months. Please consider joining the Steering
Committee so that your ideas can be heard and so that you can
make a positive impact on your own community.

Call for Booths/Displays
There wil I be eight (8) foot tables available for booths/
displays at the Gay and Lesbian History and Education
Conference. The cost for the tables is $15.00 each. Set up time
will be available Friday night to be ready for the conference on
Saturday morning.
Anyone and/or organization who is interested in signing up
for a table, please send $15 .00 with your name, address, phone,
and type of display/booths to Friends North, PO Box 562,
Traverse City, MI 49685-0562.

Out n' About Lesbian Coffeehouse is held on the third Saturday
of each month except August and December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free
with a cover donation of $3 ($5-$10 if we have entertainment).
Coffee, tea and snacks are free; soft drinks are available.

Bay

Office: (616) 941-5748

Business
Services
Inc.

For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
About Lesbian Coffeehouse mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message. (Please note this telephone number is for
Coffeehouse information only. If you have other questions or needs,
please call Friends North at 946-1804.)

ANDREW L. MITCHELL

Accounting & Tax Service
810-8 South Garfield Ave• Traverse City, Ml 49686

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

4

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

IE

0

u

IR

cc

JE

STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES

LOCAL SPIRITUAL:

Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) . . .... . ..... 800-347-HATE
Child Abuse Hotline ... . .. .. . . ........... .... ...... 800-392-8222
Michigan Wellness Networks . . ......... .. ......... .. 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .. ............ . ... 800-347-TEEN

Rev. Geraldine Colvin & Rev. David Florence
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City .... . .. . .. 616-932-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ....... . . 616-223-7999

STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL / POLITICAL / MEDIA

LOCAL COUNSELING:

The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 . .... . .. . 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ................ "616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ........... .. . . 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 . .. .. .. ......... . ........... . 313-398-GAYS
http-J/www.webspace.com/~tcc/affirmations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 . . . .............. 517-332-3200
Capital Men's Club
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48902 .... (Kelly Stevens) 517-482-0860
Ambitious Amazons/Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .. . . ... .... .... 517-371-5257
Lesbian Alliance
P.O. Box 6423, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .... .... ...... 517-394-1454
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit48219 ............. 313-537-3323
........ . ................................ Fax: 313-537-3379
email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . trijeffm@aol.com
PRIDE-Flint: P.O. Box 7014, Flint, Ml 48507 ............ 313-238-9854
Aurora Newsletter: (reaching out to gays, lesbians, bisexuals in the UP &
Canada) POB 626, Marquette, Ml 49855
Team Great Lakes
195 W. Nine Mile Rd., Suite 106, Ferndale, Ml 48220 . . 810-553-3586

Third Level Crisis Intervention, 902 W. Front St. . ........ 616-922-4800
..... ... . . . . ............ . ... . ... .. . . ... . . and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ..... . . . . ... .............. 616-941-1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHD ....... .. ................. . .. 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) .. . . . . . .... 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ...... .. ............... ... .... 616-947-0511
David Blisk (Maple City) .............. . . . ..... ... .. . 616-228-5105
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTR, CHI . ............. . ...... 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD ..................... . .... 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .. ......... . .. . 616-348-2415
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) . . . .. . . . .. . . .. . . ...... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center . ..... . .. 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ........ . .. . ........ . .. 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW ........ . . . . . ... .. ..... . 906-495-5061
Lois Martindale, Ph.D., Benzonia .. . . . .............. . . 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City .. . . .. . ... 929-1315 or 800-686-0749

LOCAL SERVICE/ SOCIAL/ POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) . . ....... .. . ......... . 616-946-1804
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location & time ........... .. .. . .. 616-922-4800
or ....... . .............. . . .. ... . .. . ........... 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nile Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. ..... . . 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC ... . John 616-922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City
POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 ........... . ... .. . Cindy 616-271-5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network) .. . ..... 616-943-8800
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill .. . .... 616-938-1333

NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL / POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .. .. 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 ... . ....... . . 212-807-1700
....... . .............. . ..... . .... . ....... Fax: 212-807-1806
email .......................... . ..... .. ... glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ...... ... . .. ..... 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . . .... Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund
666 Broadway, New York, NY 10012 . . ......... . .... 212-995-8585
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 ......... . 415-621-0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-628-4160
..... ... ... ..... ......................... Fax: 202-347-5323
email . . . . . . ..... . ................... . ...... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
1012 14th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 . ...... 202-842-7679

NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH

LOCAL HIV/AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
Wellness Networks, Grand Traverse,
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 . ......... ... 616-947-1110
Wellness HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group . . ........ 616-947-1110
Grand Traverse County Health Department ............. 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist ............ 616-935-8140
Munson Medical Center HIV Clinic ............. ... 1-800-847-8474
Community Health Clinic ........................ . .. . 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) .. .. .... . ... 1-800-248-6777
HERE ARE SOME PHONE NUMBERS EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE:
The White House (202) 456-1111; the U.S. Capital (202) 224-3121;
and some phone numbers for Northwest Michigan Residents-Cart Levin (202)
224-6221 or in TC (616) 947-9569; Spencer Abraham (202) 224-4822 or in C3rand
Rapids (616) 456-2592; Bart Stupak (202) 225-4735 or in TC 929-4711

s

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

succeed in getting the policy changed, we did do a lot of
EDUCATION! We appeared in the paper (even front page
headlines) and on news channels more than ever before. This
proposal was definitely the talk of the town. We were able to let
this community know who we were and that we definitely are part
of this community and plan to stay here.
The big question is are we done now? Will there be another
attempt? Wei I, a lot of that depends on those of you reading this.
There are lots of ideas floating around out there, let us know what
you think! We also need to call Jack Boynton and Larry Hardy and
thank them for their support. I have listed their numbers below.
Also, a call to Peter Taylor who has resigned as Mayor. Peter
needs to know how much we have appreciated his support
throughout the years, especially this past year.
And last but not by any means least, Carol and I want to thank
all of you for your support. You were FABULOUS! So many
people came out to support this issue. Many of you wrote letters,
made phone calls, talked to your friends and families and some of
you touched al I our hearts with your passionate voices at the City
Commission meetings. There were also a few who tried their very
best to keep Carol and I sane on a regular basis. (No easy task.)
Special thanks to Jim Carruthers, Sue Schwartz, Jane Hayes,
Reverend Geraldine Colvin, Cindy Robb, Paulette Parsons, Joann
Ewing and Brian Bensett of Copy World, and most of all to our
partners Sherry and Rene who listened to all the details of every
meeting and issue that came up over and over again.
Remember the City Commission meets the 1st and 3rd
Monday's of each month at 7:30 pm in the Governmental Center
and the Human Rights Commission meets the 2nd Monday of
each month at 6:00 pm in the same building.

NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S
CHOIR... WE RECRUIT!
The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir has been working
hard for over two years and having a lot of fun too! We have
between 12-16 members and have performed more than 2 Otimes
for Friends North, Out 'n About, Women's events, World AIDS
Day, the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, benefit concerts for
SAS, and other special events such as the Remember My Names
Memorial in Lansing and the Scottville NAMES Project Quilt
Display. The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir is a member of
Sister Singer's Network and GALA (Gay and Lesbian Association
of Choruses) and continues to improve and expand our repertoire.
We are looking for womyn who would like to sing with us. You
do not have to read music or have had experience. An interest in
womyn's music and a desire to have fun are the main
requirements!
The Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir sings together as a
community of womyn, celebrating our strength and our diversity.
Some of us identify as lesbian and some do not. We welcome
womyn of varying musical abilities, political interests and life
experiences to join with us in learning and sharing womyn's
music. While the Choir is taking the summer off from rehearsals,
we wil I be getting together to socialize, sing and plan for next year
and this would be a great time to get to know us. So if you've
heard us and thought 'I could do that' or 'I wish I could do that'
contact Deb Medlin, Director at 616-275-5924 for information.

Sincerely,
Carol Anderson, Pam Haley

Contributions
FROM THE COMMUNITY

Commissioners Numbers
Peter Taylor-942-1826
Jack Boynton-947-5944
Larry Hardy-947-7189

DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE ... THE GAME ISN'T
OVER YET!

cpreative Solutions through Hypnotherapy

It's been a busy May and June for all of us in the gay/lesbian
community and our many friends and families who support us. In
May we packed the City Commission Chambers only to hear
stories about ducks and geese and how the Bible affects
employment status. (I never really understood that connection.)
The vote was 6-1 against adding the words "sexual orientation"
to the City anti-discrimination hiring policy. I still wonder if the
commissioners really understood the motion. in June we came
back again with the same request, and got closer with a vote of 43, with Commissioners Jack Boynton and Larry Hardy changing
their votes in favor of the amendment. Although we didn't
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

UU COMMUNITY FORUM

law and the meaning of the word "sodomy" made it clear to some
heterosexuals in the audience that they, too, have broken
Michigan law and are indeed sodomites.
Did the Forum do any good? I believe it may have and this
gives me some hope that my initial negative feelings may not be
realized. It felt very good to hear some young and new voices
speak clearly and positively for human rights. I hope that some of
those who opposed the proposal left the Forum with voices of
reason and logic in their ears. While the Forum opened some of
my old wounds, it has given me renewed energy and clarified
some of my thinking.
I find it very rewarding that we have straight people in our
community like Paulette Parsons, Tom Dignan, Cindy Robb and
others who are speaking up and walking side-by-side with activist
gays, lesbians, and transgendered in the search for human dignity.
I know that I plan to continue to attend such events and look for
other ways to bridge the tall walls of prejudice and hatred until all
people are welcomed for their individual qualities and
appreciated, not judged unfairly, for their diversity.

ONE VIEW
Ray Rideout

I held strong negative feelings fol lowing the ACLU-sponsored
Community Forum on the Traverse City Human Rights
Commission's request to add "sexual orientation" to the list of
traits included in the City's non-discrimination policy.
Paul Bare, of the ACLU of Northwestern Michigan,
moderated the forum which was held at the Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship on June 13. Cindy Robb, P-FLAG; Tom Dignan,
Traverse City attorney; and Guy Molnar, Old Town Playhouse;
spoke in support of the proposal. Rick Pardini, Grand Traverse
Families in Action; LaRae Monk, Traverse City attorney; and Dave
Conklin, a person with AIDS from out of state, opposed the
proposal.
We have all heard such words as "pervert," "sodomite,"
"abomination," "promiscuous," "special rights," and "I have
nothing against gays-I just hate their sick behavior." We heard
these words and more again on the 13th. We also heard the Bible
quoted in simplistic ways and out of context and that gays can
change back to "normal" if they choose. For instance, Mr. Conklin
said he gave up a "promiscuous lifestyle as a homosexual" and
has married a woman after using the services of Exodus
International.
BORN-AGAIN-PAGAN-SEEKER
My bad feelings came less from hearing lesbians, gays and
transgendered people described in negative, stereotypical terms
Richard Curtis
I am well known, to some, as being a person who "irritates
than in realizing just how great the gap is in our ability to
communicate with extremists. Do these people really represent people." Someone who enjoys poking people, tickling people.
the Grand Traverse community? Where are the moderate forces Stating things in such a way as to elicit a response.
in the community?
During the last few meetings of the newsletter staff, we, "The
Tom, Cindy and Guy each gave eloquent statements and Staff" ("The Staff of Life?"; "Thy Rod and Thy Staff They Comfort
refused to be drawn into nonproductive encounters. However, I Me"? Tall, Erect, Vital, Members All) discussed the aging nature
left that evening feeling that those who came to oppose the of our organization. In a recent survey (which was in fact a rather
request of the Human Rights Commission had no desire, or ability, small sampling of the members of our group) we found nearly
to hea,r another view. And sadly, their rigid posture and superior 60% over 40 years of age.
attitudes engendered harsh and negative statements and reactions
We, The Staff, have discussed various ways of eliciting
on the part of many of us who supported the proposal.
response from the Younger Generations of Queer Folk. I for one
I have talked with a few who feel that education did take urged that we skip the Reagan Generation. Why try to bring them
place that evening. Indeed, Tom Dignan's statement regarding the in. Just write them off. They did after all bring us the
institutionalized worship of Senile-Self-Serving-Hypocrites. The
worship of Political Correctness-where everything must be seen
in a positive light. No one is handicapped they are challenged.
There are no faults only challenges. No one is to be corrected for
bad behavior we all just smile and pleasantly encourage them
SNOWMOBILE
CAMPING - CABINS
with
round about phrases hopefully turning them to a less
SERVICE CENTER
& DORMITORY
•
28
Years
Experience
• Full Facility Resort
destructive path. [FYI: that was a jab]
• Open 10 to 10 Daily
• Nature Trails
Just as the AMA refuses to chastise doctors who are openly and
• Parts, Oil & Fuel
• On Site Storage
• Indoor Storage
clearly killing people with harmful and deadly quack treatments.
• Hot Showers
• Access to Trails
• LP Gas Refill
Doctors are not allowed to speak openly about other doctors. By
• Rec Room
mutual consent they remain quiet. Why? Because if one of their
• Park Store
Many fine restaurants nearby
Lovells Area
members is shown to be guilty they all must assume guilt?
60 Acre spread with trout stream

...1r_s1_7_3_48_9_4_94-

BOO 348 9490

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

3576 Sno-Trac Trail
Grayling, Ml 49738

Born-Again (continued page next page)
7

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

I don't have a high regard for the medical profession. But I have
sought advice on doctors from professionals, friends and
acquaintances in the profession. When I mentioned one doctor here
in Traverse City their response was, "Never use him." "He should be
disbarred." "He's the worst in town." Three different people
commenting on the same doctor. They all added "But, please, don't
mention that I said this."

Mother; strong. muscular arms to enfold us; his life fluids rain down
on us all, giving us the "stuff of life." If you are a pagan worshiping
Mother Earth, you use sexual images: enjoy them, revel in them,
honor them.
Dan I am sorry that you were offended by what I said. But, lighten
up. "If the shoe doesn't fit...", why spend so much energy trying to
jam your foot into it. The 'Me Generation' has been characterized as
uninterested, uncaring. by many more than myself, and with reason.
If you take offense at the generalization-Good. You gave an
impassioned speech at the City Commission meeting last month. Get
out there and let the world know that there are people of your
generation who aren't only self-interested. Get more of your
generation to merely show up at events, even better if they can
become involved with planning, or political issues.
And while I know that my jabs cause discomfort, that is not their
purpose. Their purpose is to get responses, raise issues, to cause
people to think. Being a member of a queer nation I have developed
a thick skin. But allow me to point out that my jabs never stoop to
name calling, on a personal level. I took no offense in your letter but
hope that you will reread my last article and that with some distance
from your original anger you will see more information there than on
your first reading.
I'm feeling rather Biblical of late so here's one more quote: "Are
we not our brother's keepers?" Should we not urge a higher response
from those with whom we share this beautiful Mother/Father world?

So am I just on a rant here, or what?
In the last issue my article was entitled "Sex, Sex, Sex." The
proper reading of this title, to indicate the intended meaning, would
be to make the words sound like "Tisk, Tisk, Tisk." Try it "Sex, Sex,
Sex." I know that saying this word is difficult for many people.
Especially for people who are uncomfortable with the concept of sex.
Or people who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation.
There is, after all, power in words. Words can be used to excite
people to action.
I'm good at soliciting responses from people by using words. I'm
apparently not so good at conveying meaning to everyone. The point
of my article was that sex (what we do in private) is the basis of the
discrimination directed against us. My reference to pagan sexual
attitudes ("we incorporate sexuality within our religion as a
sacrament, or employ sexual symbolism in our rituals, or at least
accept sex as a positive human activity. Usually all three.") In no way
preaches anything as to how anyone else should use their sexuality.
It merely stated the acceptance of sexuality as a positive part of life.
(Not the Be-All and End-All of any life.)
I received many positive responses to this article. Various forms
of "Right on!" "Good one!" from people who know me and from
people I didn't know who took the time to phone me with
congratulations on a "Wonderful article." Dan Miller, of Traverse
City, however, took such affront at my opening jab at the Reagan
Generation-my attempt to solicit a response (not an easy task with
such a slow group)-that he seems, in my opinion to have missed the
meaning of everything else I wrote. [See Letters page 14]
His most blinding mistake (misunderstanding?) though was
completely his own. To quote Dan: "Not all Pagans use sex as a ritual,
or use sexual symbolism in their rituals. I am a pagan and I use neither
in my worship of M.Q.tb.fil Earth and Father Sky." [underline my
emphasis]. Dan, Mother Earth and Father Sky are quite specifically
sexual symbols. The Mother has a womb that gave birth to us all,
breasts to nourish us; The Father has sexual organs that fertilize the

Personally, I think we should place our hopes in Generation-X
for fresh blood in the movement. But then, they appear to be so
comfortable with their sexuality that they seem to be forgoing the
labels of gay, straight, bi-, transgendered, and just getting on with it.
We are talking of human rights aren't we, not just gay liberation, that's
just an old phrase from the 60's, and that generation is just a bunch
of burnt-out-air-heads with nothing left to offer. Aren't they?
Blest be.

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UNTIL IT'S AS PLAIN AS THE NOSE ON
YOUR FACE."

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NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

8

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUSf 1996

PROFILE: CAROL LAMBERTSON
MADELEINE THOMAS ANNOUNCES
CANDIDACY FOR DISTRICT JUDGE

John Evans
Late one sunny afternoon I rang Carol Lambertson's doorbell at
her neat house in a country development and was greeted by Kita,
her cat of a year or so who, Carol advises, is bipolar! He was quite
well -behaved as we toured the house, but when I got comfortable in
a living room chair he sprang up and started munching on one of my
fingers ... no doubt he recognized a cat lover.
Carol had just been through an exciting weekend celebrating her
son Nathan's graduation from high school. Currently working at
Wolohan's, Nathan has been accepted at Michigan State for this fall
to study journalism.
Carol's college career was interrupted. 11 1was going to go on in
the field of psychology, but motherhood came along. I decided to
spend my full time doing that, and so I didn't work.
But Carol already had her associate's degree from Lansing
Community College. With those credentials she was able eventually
to land a job with the Employment Security Commission here in
Traverse City. She moved up here from her native home in Lansing
with her then three-year-old son.
"But after nine ¼'.eeks I was laid off. At that time you needed
eighteen weeks of work to collect unemployment-so there I wasno job laid off from a jobless office! But I was able to stay here---found
a roommate who was able to take me in with my son."
There followed a succession of temporary secretarial jobs, one
of which was with Munson Medical Center.
"I really wanted to get into Munson, and after much letter writing
and campaigning for myself I was able to get a full time job there.
That was in 1984."
Since then Carol has worked her way up in the oncology
department from department secretary to clinical research associate.
After much discussion of life at Munson over the past twelve
years, I asked Carol about her social and recreational life as a working
single mother over this period.
About five years ago I really moved into a whole different area
of being and that included getting involved in Unity Church and
serving on their board a year or so. I became pretty active in social
activities and 12-step groups."
With the support of new-found friends Carol was able to turn her
life around, and this "uncovering of the layers of her life" enabled her

Madeleine Thomas is a candidate for Judge of the 86th
District, which covers Grand Traverse and Leelanau Counties.
Ms. Thomas has been a practicing attorney in the Grand
Traverse area for over 13 years. She has a general practice
focusing on small business law, criminal and civil litigation.
She has been the attorney for Friends North, Inc. ever since
its inception, and the attorney for its predecessor, Dignity, Inc.
Approximately two years ago, Ms. Thomas was
appointed as a Circuit Court Referee for Wexford and
Missaukee Counties. In this capacity she judges and rules on
issues concerning the children in a divorce-child support,
custody, visitation, paternity, and alimony in the Circuit
Court.
Ms. Thomas received her law degree at the University of
Detroit/Mercy School of Law in 1983, and two undergraduate
degrees from the Michigan State University/James Madison
College in 1979.
Ms. Thomas' local civic involvement has been quite
extensive, and her legal involvement in the community
includes being the first woman president being elected to the
three county local bar association as well as numerous other
memberships on the state wide level.
Ms. Thomas is married to Robert Eichenlaub, a local
special education instructor. They have two children,
Christopher, age 14, and Caroline, age 9.
Ms. Thomas would like to bring her experience as a
Circuit Court Referee, where she has judged some of the most
difficult of issues-those relating to children-to the bench.
She views the District Court as the "people's court" where
people desire respect and fairness.
Paid for

11

by the Committee to

Elect Thomas for Judge
Treasurer: Robert Brick

Carol - Continued page 24

.

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OWNER

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NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

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A
'WI

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

BICAUII ff'I A CRmCAL TIMI

,oa UHi.AN AND GAY AMIRICA.

BICAUII THIS IUCTION II SO IMPOllTANT.
BICAUII

HUMAN

RIGHTS
CAMPAIGN

96

oua COMMUNITY MUST •• HI.AU.

YOU'VE GOT THE POWER.
REGISTER.

VOTE.

HRC UNVEILS OUTVOTE '96, ITS FIRST
POLITICAL CONVENTION

president in history who has
and defeating anti-gay ballo
About 1,000 of HRC's
attend the convention, from
essential campaign skills, b
candidates and get prepared
local, state and national elec
the heartland of America,
presidential election.
During the week leading up to
will train 26 young people to
the country and work for th
election of a fair-minded Co
leaders will continue to pro
lesbian, gay and bisexual equal rights for years to come," Birch iid.

Also LAUNCHES YOUTH CAMPAIGN COLLEGE TO TRAIN
TOMORROW'S MOVEMENT LEADERS
WASHINGTON-As part of its drive to make a difference in
federal, state and local elections in 1996, the Human Rights
Campaign will hold its first national political convention-OutVote
'96-and its first Youth College for Campaign Training to equip
young activists to work in political campaigns this fall.
uoutVote '96 promises to pull together major political figures,
the best campaign experts in the business and HRC professionals to
motivate and train HRC members," said Elizabeth Birch, HRC's
executive director. uThe goals include helping to elect a Congress
supportive of lesbian and gay equal rights; re-rlecting the first

Amanda Bearse, Chastity Bono, Sean Sasser, Greg Louganis, Candace Gingrich, Mitchell Anderson and Dan Butler

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

10

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Property of the center

ON THE WEEKEND OF OCTOBER

NOT ALL
BATTLES
ARE FOUGHT
WITH A
SWORD.
OCTOBER

11-13, 1996
AI OS

MEMORIAL

~ I LT DI SPLAY
WASHINGTON

DC
NAMES Project:

4 15-882-5500

Travel Info:
800-926-2631

Ill!
THENAMES
PROJECT

Official airfine

NFIWORKING 45° NORTH

11-13

OH MY! I'M Bl.
Oh my!
I'm bi.
I don't know if I,
Should lie,
And cry,
Afraid of good-bye?!
Oh why
Arn I
Bi?

hundreds of thousands
of people will converge
on one nation's capital
to participate in the
largest AIDS awareness
event in history. Just
weeks before the
presidential and
congressional
elections, and NAMES
Project has planned a
full weekend of
activities designed to
ensure that AIDS is
made a top priority on
our nation's agenda.

Choosing one,
Doesn't make the feelings for the other
Go away.
I struggle everyday.
I chose my best friend,
Together 'till the end.
Helps me through it all,
Especially when I fall.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to choose.
A bit of me I feel I lose.
But being in a relationship with two
May not leave much time for you.

As 45,000 AIDS
Memorial Quilt
panels-15 city blocks
of fabric-are
unfolded, the names of
the dead will ring out
over the open expanse
of the National Mall.
Over the course of the
weekend, volunteers
will read more than
70,000 names from
the Quilt, more names
than appear on the
nearby Vietnam War
Memorial.

© 1995 Pamela

Shamanism is the most ancient method of mind-body healing.
Shamans the world over saw illness as a break in our
spiritual essence causing debilitation and disease.
Trauma or negative energy from another person causes
spiritual break resulting in loss of power, soul loss or spirit
intrusion.
Symptom of power loss are
chronic bad luck, illness, frequent
accidents or low self esteem.

This monumental
event will be the
combined efforts of
over 10,000
volunteers. Whether
you are an
experienced NAMES
Project volunteer, or
someone who has only
seen the Quilt on
television, we need
you. Please join us for
this event. Together
we can make a
difference.

Symptom of soul loss are empty
feelings, depression, loss of
vitality, gaps in memory and long
grieving periods.
When we are dispirited, who helps us? We have doctors for
the body and mind. As a practicing shaman, Nancy
Hayward uses techniques from the ancient ones. She
journeys to other worlds and with spirit help restores
personal power, knowledge, healing and wholeness to her
clients.
Nancy has her training from the Foundation for Shamanic
Studies. For information or for an appointment call her at
616-223-7999.

11

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

TI IF TI JE JD

IL A
ANNOUNCEMENTS
ADOPT-A-ROAD CLEANUP scheduled for 1996. The dates to clean
Friends North's section of M-72 near Acme are: July 18, September
26. Again, we will gather at the theatre in Acme at 5:30 pm. Call
Alec at 943-4492 (issue 4)
GAY GAMES IN 1998: Team Great Lakes is organizing for the
upcoming games in Amsterdam, scheduled for August 1-5, 1998.
Those interested, please call Ann Heier at 810-547-4692. Team
Great Lakes sent 180 individual athletes and teams to New York City
in '94. (Issue 4)
B1-MONTHL Y, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first
and third Tuesday of each month, from 11 :30 am until 1:00 pm at a
local, Traverse City restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact
Friends North . (issue 4)
WASHINGTON D.C. QUILT: I am putting together a group of people
who are interested in going to Washington in October to see the
entire Names Project Quilt. Please contact me, Tom, at 616-9474647 or write: 208 Circle Dr., Apt. C, Traverse City, 49684. (issue 4)
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a
difference! The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To
contribute specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at
271-3042 or send a check (in an amount of $100.00 or less) directly
to Friends North. (issue 6)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day
to 947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue 6)
THE 1993 MARCH ON WASHINGTON DREW 1,000,000 PEOPLE
for Gay and Lesbian rights. The producers who made a video have
waived their copyrights for noncommercial TV. Those who live in
areas where residents can SPONSOR a video to be on community
access TV, please contact Rick, 508 Benjamin, Ann Arbor, Ml 48104;
313-663-0001 (issue 4)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY
is meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services
will be held on alternate Sundays with dates disclosed in their
newsletter, Diversity, Please call 348-31 17 for details or write to us
at POB 2 71, Petoskey, Ml 49770-02 71 (Issue 6)
HATE CRIMES WATCH: The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION.
The group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-7539823 . Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 5)
CREATING CHANGE: The annual NGLTF Conference is being held
in Alexandria, VA, outside of Washington D.C., on November 6-10.
For information contact NGLTF through their web page or call 617492-6393. (issue 4)

PERSONALS:
CHIROPRACTOR NEW TO TOWN: (and her two cats) need place
to live. Also need office space. Also looking for part time work while

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

12

I build my practice. Please call me at 313-996-1 603 or leave a
message at 616-228-6780 (issue 4)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling
and testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants,
Depo-Provera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and
other methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 9224630. Services are by appointment only. (issue 5)
CHRISTIAN, LESBIAN, WOMAN committed to Jesus Christ offers
bible study with fellowship and fun for like-minded gays and lesbians.
If you are interested, please send information on how to contact you.
Please write: Bible Study, PO Box 188, Suttons Bay, Ml 49682 .
Confidentiality assured. Let's get together and celebrate the fact that
Jesus loves us just the way we are! (issue 4)

GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends
North Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 pm at
Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall on the first floor, Room 2
in the cafeteria. Everyone is welcome! (issue 5)
GLSTN: The Gay-Lesbian-Straight Teachers Network is meeting
monthly in Traverse City. Newly forming. they welcome all interested
educators. For more information, call M'Lynn at 943-8800. (issue 3)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is
a network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who
meet monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with
others about the issues concerning them . Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace
Episcopal Church in Traverse Cityevery third Wednesday of the
month, at7:30 pm. For more information call Cindy Robb at 2715045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 9224800 or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as
well as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd . in T.C. Please see the Out 'n About
article elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities.
(issue 4)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS: If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim at271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with information on
where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 4)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV
or AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday
evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library
at 341 Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the
month the Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301
Veterans Drive, Suite 221 , just north of S. Airport Road. For further
information, please call 933-0279 . (issue 6)

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Classifieds continued

THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bisexual persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7
pm Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information
please contact Tim at 616-348-8151 (issue 4)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for
new voices. To obtain more information or for a performance
schedule, please contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 4)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit
organization that has committed itself to helping and supporting the
needs of HIV infected persons. They offer a number_ of services,
including support groups, education, public awareness, and one-ononefriendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena,
Gaylord, and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the
program, please cal I 616-52 6-9213. (issue 4)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians
are held each Saturday at 11 :00 am and have been moved to a new
location at Grace Episcopal Church, corner Washington and
Boardman Streets in TC. For further info, call John at 922-0746 or
Tom at 947-4647. (issue 4)
FRIENDS LIKE US: A social group in north east lower Michigan for
gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. Meets monthly. For info, please
contact Jeff @ 517-354-7702, or write to him at POB 391, Alpena,
Ml 49707. (issue 4)

LETTERS
Dear Friends;
I figure that if I want to keep up on the latest from home I can find
out in your newsletter. My brother who lives in Williamsburg started it
for me a couple years ago. So out of 4 brothers and 5 sisters I have a
brother and sister that accept as I am.
Living in a Military Retirement Community is a lot like being in
the service but no longer can they discriminate against me. I am
considered a Resident of Washington, D.C. and undertheir laws. I like
to put the newsletter in the library and watch all the bigots get mad and
saying it shouldn't be there.
I used to get the Washington Blade but it wasn't as good as yours
is. My heart is still in Williamsburg even if I haven't been back in 6
years. Too much dissension from some of the relatives makes it hard to
go back and visit. I may get strong enough to fight them for my right to
live also someday but so far I am still running. I have met many people
here who are gay and most of the straight(?) people who live around
me accept me. So I have a closer family here than at home.
Being in the service for 20 years and not knowing where I was
coming from before that has made my life lonely. That is why I like to
see people like you all working for the children coming up. Too many
children kill themselves because they are lost and no one to talk to. The
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

so called religious bigots who wish to push their warped ideas on all
really make me mad. What happened to tolerance in their religious
beliefs? Jews, Christians, and Muslims have killed more people in the
name of their god than any other people.
I was brought up Catholic but changed to Buddhism because they
accepted me as I am. I spent over 5 years in Thailand while in the
service. I wentto the monastery for 3 months as all monks do and found
that their non-violent life was the best way to go. That was the only
time that I was able to live my own life so did have a taste of what life
can be. Since 1975 it has been back to being alone and scared again.
So teach the children that love encompasses all of us and not just a
select few.
Thank you,
Pat and Ted

,,

Dear F/N/TC
We have a dear and close friend in the TC area and have known her for
quite a long time, and we want to address a serious problem that exists in this
area's gay community as well as many others. We' re not quite sure, but it could
be just a hand full of people who can't find something better to do in their
lives, but make trouble, spread rumors and gossip. People! Get a Life!!
Why do they feel the need to intrude into someone else's private and
personal life. Maybe reasons of insecurity, jealousy, nosiness, no life?
And then with no apparent concern about another person's life and
reputation, try their damnedest to destroy a person's livelihood, reputation and
life, with the flash of a double edge tongue! Vicious lies, rumor, and jealous
are wasted emotions. So why?-do they do this to someone they barely know?
Some kind of thrill, high, kicks? (How sick!)
Think if someone reversed this and did the same to you and your family
and personal life. How would you like that? So many people are quick to judge
someone so fast to pass judgment without knowing any or all of the true facts.
Why does this vicious "Gossip Mill" exist. Is it helping us reverse to the hate in
the world. (Gay People) is it helping us fight against discrimination in housing.
marriage, equal rights? Shouldn't you be using this wasted energy for these
needed! Much needed positive things to become reality for us!! We're all
Americans, yet, we don't have the same rights as straight America. Use your
energies to fight those causes, not each other!!
If we as gay America can't even get along with each other! Well that
just gives fuel to the Newts of the world, the Extreme Right, Fanatics! it

LETTERS continued next page

(SD UIE TIDPA~~)
Open Monday-Saturday- 6:00 pm - Sunday at 2:00 pm
616"' 935"' 1666 "'520 Franklin "'Traverse City, MI 49684

Proud I Ga Owned and O erated since 1989
13

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

took many of us half a life time to come out, and finally feel the freedom of
that. Don't let a handful of very disturbed people take that away from any
of us! I'm sure these few people I'm talking about know who they are!!
Before it's too late we need to build not destroy! Don't bring other peoples
lives down into your self-destructive decline! I hate to say this but this is
not the first time we have had a friend singled out for this type of behavior
in the TC Northern Michigan area and the stories are well traveled about
this typeofthinggoingon, so Listen-Up TC a lotofourfriends have moved
elsewhere, and a couple more are planning it too. I wonder why? - and
people wonder why no-one shows up at our community events or doesn't
travel in from rural places. That's why. The stories on peoples behavior
have circulated far and wide.
So-before you're so quick to judge, try, convict, someone! You think
you know but really don't!! Stop and think?
Do I know the person, at all? Do I know the facts? The truth? The
circumstances in their life? Even if you think you do, more times than not
you don't!
So mind your own life and business
"Peace"
Cameron & Deb
Ann Arbor, Michigan
P.S. We don't know if you'll print this, but all of us down-state with
friends up there sure hope so! Thanks.

y
Letter to the Editor:
Shafted By The President. .. Again!
I am a gay man, an active member in our community and a white
collar professional. I remember when Mr. Clinton was politicking to
be President of the United States and needed my gay vote. He pledged
he would work for me. He gave me cause for hope. At long last I would
no longer be a voice crying in the wilderness. Mr. Clinton vowed to be
my man in Washington. I voted for him because I naively believed he
was not taking me for a ride. Gosh, he sounded so genuinely sincere,
he made me feel good about being gay, he told me he believed in the
causes of my gay and lesbian family. I earnestly hoped that with Clinton
in the White House things would be different for me and my oppressed
family. Out of the closet into the light! Free at last, free at last, thank
God Almighty I would be free at last. What an energizing feeling! I

..,.

To the "Born-again-Pagan-Seeker"
Generalization is something that hurts homosexuals today more
than anything else. We are generalized as sex-addicts, perverts,
pedophiles, etc. Which is why it is so disturbing that a member of our
community generalizes such a large portion of us so carelessly and
arrogantly. As a child of the "Reagon Era," I was very insulted by your
arrogant generalization of my generation. No one who knows me would
ever accuse me of being "unopinionated" or of looking to someone else
for all the answers. There are many like me out there, just as there are
many like you have described. It is the easy and lazy way, to make such
broad statements. I could just as easily say that the children of the 60's
sold out or wasted their minds and bodies from experimentation.
However this is not 100% true, but for many it is.
Speaking of experimentation, it was not a 60's fad . It is something
every generation, to some degree or another, experiences. Almost
every teenager has pushed the limits to some extent. My generation,
was like all others in that respect.
Not all Pagans use sex as a ritual, or use sexual symbolism in their
rituals. I am a pagan and I use neither in my worship of Mother Earth

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l)tffl/ 12 . 95
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

would be treated as an equal, I would be welcomed into the military,
I would have the top executive of the USA stand by me and assure me
that he too believed in my right to marry the person of my choosing.
Reality has set in for me. I got shafted yet one more time. Like so
many before him, I was being courted not because of who I am as a
gay man, but solely because I had something he wanted and needed ...
my vote. I gave it to him and I feel like a prostitute! Used again, lied to
again, lifted up only to be hurled down. That is until I can be sweet
talked into putting out just one more time. Well, the race is on. I refuse
to be used and abused by those who promise me the world and throw
me crumbs.
President Clinton says: Join the military as a gay person ... just
don't get caught. On same sex marriages, he opted: Oh, no I certainly
don't agree with same-sex marriages. Oh, how awful. You dirty
homosexuals wanting to live together as husband and wife. Even my
cat, Socks, knows better. On, equal rights for gays, not in my life time.
Well, the list goes on and on and on.
The bottom line is that President Clinton is saying to all gays and
lesbians: "You, just don't understand. I have to think of my political
career. Right now I have to go after the Catholic Vote, the Billy Graham
vote. Sorry, you are not a priority this time around." Were we ever?
Yes, I know the rheto~ic, the ploy to again get the gay vote: They say
look at the other option, Mr. Dole. Well, I have and he will get my
undivided support and vote come November. I urge all gays and
lesbians to have the integrity to give Mr. Dole a fair hearing. Mr. Clinton
took us for a ride, lied to us, played up to us and stiffed us royally. Only
a fool would be naive enough to put back into office someone who
hurled such abuse on our gay family. Will we ever learn?
Anonymous
Editor, I am unable for professional reasons to print my name.
subscribe to and am an avid reader of our magazine. I hope you have
the courage to print my letter in its entirety.

14

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

FRIENDS NORTH

DATES:

October 25-27, 1995

REGISTRATION DEADLINE:

September 24, 1996

CHECK-IN:
CHECK-OUT:

After 4:00 pm
Before Noon

DEPOSIT:
A $50.00 per hotel room deposit is required to confirm your reservations. Cancellations must be received at least 14 days prior to arrival. With 14 days notice of cancellation, a refund,
less $10.00 processing fee, will be issued. Deposits are non-refundable with less than 14 day notice
of cancellation.
ACCOMMODATIONS: Hotel rooms have either two double beds, queen size bed and double
sofa bed, or a king-size bed. All hotel rooms have a full bath, Spectra-Vision, satellite TV, and
telephone with voice mail. Your choice of accommodations are subject to availability.
RATES: $52.00 plus tax (6%) per room per night, single or double occupancy
RATES INCLUDE:

Lodging Only.

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RESERVATIONS CANNOT BE ACCEPTED BY TELEPHONE; PLEASE USE THE FORM BELOW.
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CEDAR, MI 49621-9755

GAY AND LESBIAN HISTORY AND EDUCATION
Friends North, Inc.

October 15-27, 1996
Sugar Loaf Resort near Cedar, Michigan on the Leelanau Peninsula

WORKSHOPS
♦

Gays/Lesbians and the
♦

♦

Media ♦

Gay and Lesbian History

Diversity in Our Community

Lesbian/Gay Teachers

♦

♦

Spotlights ♦

Generational Issues

♦

Lesbian/Gay Rights Ordinances

♦

Conference Keynote Speaker: Beth Brant, Native American Lesbian Writer
Luncheon Keynote Speaker: Jerry Crane, Teacher from Byron Center
One Act Stage Readings
Dance on Saturday Night

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

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FRIENDS NORTH GAY AND LESBIAN HISTORY AND EDUCATION

OCTOBER 25-27, 1996

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Please make all checks or money orders payable to Friends North, and mail the registration form with
fees by October 15, 1996 to: FRIENDS NORTH, PO BOX 562, TRAVERSE CITY, Ml 49685-0562.
Interpreter for the hearing impaired available: Please reserve by October 1, 1996
I can/cannot attend. and/but would like to help fund scholarships for others to attend.
Here is my donation of$ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

Paid for by The Committee to Elect Thomas for Judge • Treasurer: Robert Brick
520 S. Union• P.O. Box 2007 • Traverse City, MI 49685 • 616-947-2217

• Practicing attorney for 13 years
• Circuit Court Referee, Wexford & Missaukee Counties for two
years• Judging and deciding child custody, visitation,
support, and other matters involving children in
divorce
• FRIENDS NORTH, INC. 's corporate attorney since its inception
• Past President of Grand Traverse-Leelanau-Antrim County Bar
Association
• RESPECT"I want to encourage respect for and from the legal system ... to
victims, criminal defendants, police officer, court personnel, the
judge ... all deserve respect."
"I want people to respect our legal process and to do that, the
process must respect them."

• VOTE on Tuesday, August 6, 1996. Your vote will make a
difference. Absentee ballots are available through your local
Township Clerk.

Government continued
and Father Sky. Sex is a special, joyous communication between my
partner and myself. It is sacred because it is respectful and responsible.
I don't really care how many words the Greeks had for love, this is not
important. I love my partner, which means I trust him, respect him,
cherish the time we have together, share my life, my soul, my secrets,
my goals, my mistakes, my joys and my pain with him as he does with
me. He is my friend, my confidant and at times my critic. Sex is not
what it is all about. It is about seeing each other as we look in the
morning-and still knowing that this is who I want to spend my life
with. It is about seeing the whole person, the real person. That is what
it is about.
I did not come out because of sex. I can have all the sex I want
(gay sex) and never come out. My coming out was about honesty,
integrity and happiness. Sex I could have, but without honesty and
integrity, without being true to oneself, that sex is full of shame,
degradation, and self-loathing. I came out to have a healthy (mentally
and physically) life with or without sex. Sex is not the begin al I end al I.
It is only a part of who I am. I do not need sex to feel like a homosexual.
I feel like a Homosexual when I walk down the street, when I eat, when
I shop, when I sleep, when I wake up, when I go to the bathroom, in
short I feel like a Homosexual 24 hours a day.
Being proud of who we are means being proud of all that we are,
we are sexual beings-and many other things as well. We are probably
the most diverse community in the world . But when one generalizes
one part of our community and insists that sex is all we are about, it
smacks of Homophobia not of pride.
Dan Miller
Traverse City, Michigan

Dear Ms. Reynolds,
I am writing in response to your editorial (enclosed) in the March
19th Traverse City Record Eagle. I to was very encouraged by the
support given to the Gaynor family with the recent cross burning
incident. Personally and as a member of the Traverse City Human
Rights Commission I also had the chance to speak out about this
horrible incident. The thing that concerns me is that while I spoke, and
as I try to end another type of discrimination, occurring in this country
and area, I can't but wonder how supportive the community would
have been if this had been a gay or lesbian family. These people, still
to this day, face discrimination and hate crimes every day of their lives,

with no protection from our government or laws. It is a fear they live
with everyday. If someone finds out they can lose their jobs, homes,
children with no recourse.
Ms. Renolds, I hope as a representative of the Civil Rights
Commission that when you are presenting your report from the Bias
Crime Response Task Force to Governor Engler you will include that
providing support for victims of all bias crimes will include gay/lesbian
citizens of this state.
Sincerely yours,
Pam J. Haley
Dear Ms. Haley:
Your recent letter to the Michigan Department of Civil Rights
director, Nanette Lee Reynolds was referred to me for response. I am
pleased to inform you that The Bias Crime Response Task Force will be
submitting a report to the Michigan Civil Rights Commission in May.
Subsequently, the report will be forwarded to the governor. The task
force report, as submitted, does provide support for all victims of bias
crimes, including gay and lesbian citizens of this state.
The task force established three standing committees: community
response; data collection and trend analysis; and victim support. These
three standing committees prepared a very comprehensive plan of
action with recommendations that address issues of hate-bias
incidents. In addition, these standing committees jointly prepared a
cooperative agreement that would establish a working relationship
between local communities and the Department of Civil Rights.
In response to this task force report, an invitation will be extended
to the Traverse City Human Relations Commission, and other human
relations commissions from across the state, to be an active partner,
with this department, in combating hate/bias incidents within Michigan
communities.
It takes a great deal of courage to speak out on an issue of such
controversy. I look forward to working with the people of Traverse City
in an ongoing effort to develop a state wide network to combat hate/
bias crimes and incidents.
I speak for Dr. Nan Reynolds in reiterating that the department staff
continues to be available as a resource to participate in related
community activities, and to lend our support and technical assistance
in ways that will be helpful.
Best regards,
Cathy Milett, Coordinator

T
Senator George McManus
Capitol Building
Lansing, Ml 48913
Dear Senator McManus,
My Scottish grandmother used to refer to the Irish as if they were
something of a subhuman race. As a kid, I mentioned it to a German
friend, and we both had a big laugh. It made no sense. To us, it seemed
so silly. Going a step further, he relayed how his mother used to refer
to the Italians as being, "not quite white." We had a big chuckle on
that one, as well. Boy were they ever dumb, we thought.

Letters continued next page
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

15

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Isn't it nice how often time can heal the wounds of the past? What
is deadly for one generation, can seem completely ludicrous to the
next. The bible belt had its share of problems giving up slavery. Who
would have believed that racial equality would become the law of the
land? After all, didn't they used to say that blacks were like animals?
One thing that can't be argued is the clearly subservient role that the
bible defines for women . I'll let you be the one to remind them of this.
Each generation has to deal with its own bigotry. Time that could
be used to do good, is instead wasted on hatred. Although we may be
more selective, we differ from the Serbs/Bosnians and all, primarily by
our choice of weaponry.
Every opportunity that I've had, I have voted for you. Johnson Oil
gave me one of your signs, and I proudly placed it on my "almost on
the interchange" lawn. Dr. David Darby has often told me about your
effectiveness at getting things done in Lansing, and your willingness to
listen. The boost that you have given horse racing has saved the sport,
and all the jobs that go with it. I couldn't have been happier with the
job that you've been doing. But... on the discriminatory anti-gay bill
that penalizes universities who pay benefits to same sex couples .. . you
really blew it!
Gay bashing is usually justified by three nonsensical arguments.
The first is choice.
"Don't they choose to be gay?' Only an idiot would choose to
shock his friends, horrify his parents, get legally fired from his job, and
risk physical assault from macho-bullies acting in the name of God.
Then, if it goes before a judge, he's apt to think, oh well, it was wrong,
but it was just a fag. Did you choose to be heterosexual? Could you
have chosen to be gay instead? Imagine what it must be like as a child
to be called a fag, queer, limp wrist, etc. Can you imagine how horrible
that must feel? No wonder that approximately 40% of teen suicides are
homosexual kids escaping from the anguish of a tormenting world.
What child would choose to be "a fairy"? Would a caring, loving,
sensitive God want us to react this way to one of his creations?
It's always amazing to me how individuals can take an inclusive
book of love, kindness, and tolerance, and turn it into an exclusive,
vindictive book of hatred. Hope that you're not reading this on a

Sunday as the bible prescribes death for that offense. Forget to shave
this morning? Good, you've overcome the sin of shaving. Remember
now, no shellfish, rabbit or pork. Strong drink? Forget that too. You
have paid cash for your house and cars? Also, you might mention to
the Governor and any of your divorced and re-married friends, that the
bible considers that to be adultery.
This Sunday, I'll be rollerski training to prepare for next ski season.
I'll do about 26 km (16 miles). Would you like to join us? It's my
normal, natural routine on Sunday. I just love it, although I'm sure that
it's not natural for most people. What is natural and where do we draw
the line? Do we draw a line at all? Some of us even appear to enjoy
golf! We humans are such a wonderfully diverse lot. It makes us what
we are, with the whole, being greater than the sum of the parts. But
diversity is not just limited to humans, every species of mammals has
homosexuals within its ranks. Do we respond by saying, "how awful,"
or, do we embrace and accept their contributions.
You have been presented with a wonderful opportunity to move
this generation a step away from the bigotry and hate of the past. A
chance to start healing the wounds. Will we be the subject of our
grandchildrens' ridicule, or will we be remembered as leaders doing
our best to relieve the suffering and injustice inflicted by the past? The
Germans are still apologizing to the Jews. Will the next generation be
forced to apologize for us? It's not just the support of lesbians and gays
that you'll gain, but also, the respect and the admiration of anyone with
a kind heart and a tolerant attitude. Let the bigots go, you don't need
them. Please re-consider your support of this homophobic,
discriminatory piece of legislation. It's unworthy of a leader like you.
Look into the faces of those seething proponents of hate, if you
have any remaining doubt. Is that where you want to be aligned. There
is a fundamental choice for al I of us. Why not choose love, caring, and
concern in the place of hatred and bigotry?
Sincerely yours,
David R. Forbush, D.V.M .

FRIENDS NORTH, INC,, P,O, Box 562, TRAVERSE CITY, Ml 49685-0562
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NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

16

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

WORDS AND MUSIC: A LOCAL GUIDE
TO BOOKS AND MAGS, TAPES & CD's
By Rick Gould

Here are some suggestions by our local book and music stores
for any lulls in your exciting summer!
Atthe Bookie Joint, Shelley gave us this list:
Books:
Cassel/i's Queer Quizbook by David Pollard, $4.95. Brainteasers and not-so-trivial pursuits of gay heritage.
The Ultimate Guide to Lesbian and Gay Film and Video, edited
by Jenni Olson. Info on more than 2,000 works of filn:i. $25.00.
Music:
Intimacy, Bruce Roberts. Roberts has written hits for Streisand
and many others. Hear, Elton John, James Ingram, Luther Vandross,
and k.d. lang sing along. Cassette: $10.98, CD: $16.98.
Global Divas is a panoramic collection of women vocalists from
around the world. 30 nations and 41 selections represent this theme.
Included: Piaf, Aretha, Varttina, Patsy Cline and more. Cassette:
$9.98; CD: $15.98.
Passionflower, Fred Hersch. A brilliant, gay jazz pianist has
crafted an exquisite album. Cassette: $10.98; CD: $16.98.
At AB CD's, Norm made these recommendations:
Duncan Sheik. This debut CD on Atlantic is one of the best in a
long time. Norm is getting everyone hooked on Duncan and I am
his latest disciple. Romantic and introspective, he's currently touring
with labelmate and Interlachen Alum, Jewel, who's own debut CD
isn't so bad, either.
Dilate, Ani Difranco. Righteous Babe herself delivers another
exceptional collection of cutting edge tunes. Notable cut: Shameless.
Mention you read it here and get Dilated for $13.99, for a limited
time, while current inventory lasts.
All For You, Diane Krall. A jazz tribute to Nat King Cole has
become a surprise hit.
Mission Impossible Soundtrack. Odd, 10 of the cuts on this
album are not in the film. Sorta like "Kiss From A Rose" in "Batman
Forever"! Oh, well. Massive Attack, Bjork, Skunk Anansie and
Longpigs contributes as well as the theme song, instrumental by
Danny Elfman.
B. Dalton's had these suggestions:
Whitman's Men--Walt Whitman with contemporary

J[L

DUNESWOOD
in NORTHERN MICHIGAN

Cross Country Ski

7J~ORBUSH CORNER, INC.

a woman's resort with 12 private
housekeeping rooms nestled on 7 acres
of secluded woods. Also in nearby Glen Arbor,
MARGE & JOANNE'S B&B
Open all year, no pets, WOMEN ONLY.
Near Traverse City. For info: Marge & Joanne's,
PO Box 457, Glen Arbor, MI 49636
(616) 334-3346.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

photographs. The Calamus poems from Walt Whitman's "Leaves of
Grass" shown at its purest and most spontaneous. The photographs
accentuate the themes: the search for love; loneliness and death.
$18.95.
The Sibling Society by Robert Bly. Drawing upon a diverse
assortment of poetry, myth, and current trends, Bly postulates that the
traditional concepts of childhood and adulthood have been lost. Bly
says that we have become a nation of one behaviour: adolescence.
Greed and envy have replaced moral values and hard work. The
book is intended as a wake up call to ourselves. $25.00.
Outrage by Vincent Bugliosi. This is the famed Charles Manson
prosecutor's Monday Morning quarterback look at the O.J. trial and
what went wrong. I think we know that already! $25.00.
At Horizon Books, Alex suggested the following:
And Say Hi To Joyce: The Life and Chronicles of a Lesbian
Couple by Deb Price and Joyce Murdoch. Both are in the newspaper
biz, and Deb has a column in the Detroit News. Finally out in paper.
$12.95.
Fodor's Gay Guide To The USA: The Most Comprehensive
Guide for Gay and lesbian Travelers by Andrew Collins. New and in
softcover: $19.50.
A Boy named Phyllis: A Surbaban Memoir by Frank Decaro. A
switch: a gay memoir that is funny and upbeat! Frank recalls growing
up different in his Italian New Jersey neighborhood in the 60s and
70s, remembering his favorite things: Elton John, disco, the
Entemann's factory on the corner, the unlived-in living room, Keith
Patridge worship and so much more! $22.95 .
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us this list:
Gay Olympian: The Life and Death of Tom Waddell by Tom
Waddell and Dick Schaap. This athlete did much to dispel
stereotypes of masculinity and sports. He was a revelation to
mainstream America when he appeared on 20/20 with his
partner to talk about Waddell's AIDS diagnosis. An inspiring
tribute. $23.00.
Heaven's Coast: A Memoir by Mark Doty. This award-winning
book by poet Doty is about the death of his lover from AIDS. Simple
and simply unforgettable. $23.00.
The Beauty Of Men by Andrew Holleran. The fine novelist's
lead character deals with the shame of mourning his own loss of
youth while others around him are dying young. This provocative
tale is also a universal one. $25.00.
These stores appreciate your business and suggestions.

• Over 35 km of trails, machine set for both skating and striding from,
beginner to expert.
• Just 1/ 4 mile east of 1-75 at the Lewiston/Frederic exit (264)
• Performance ski shop, rentals and instruction
• Bunkhouse and two warming areas
• Weekend food service
• One kilometer night ski trail
P.O . Box 327
4971 County Road 612
Dave Forbush
Frederic, Michigan 49733
(51 7) 348-5989

17

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

IN FOCUS

PERRY WATKINS
1served, withpride, honoranddistinction, from induction lo rehiemenl An A/dean
American, who is homosexual. I am the first to do so and there is no reason I
shouldbe the lasl quite like the mnner who broke the /0111 minute mile, to improve
on his effort, the s11ccessfll/ ones studied his techniques. ._Per,y J. Walkins
Sergeant A"rsl Class U.S. Army (Rel1ied) in a /el/er lo President Clinton.
by Morgan Gwenwald
Before we ever heard that phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," Sgt. Perry
Watkins was not only telling, he was performing regular drag acts while
serving in the U.S. Army. Despite his recent death, the story of Perry
Watkins and his struggle with the U.S. Government lives on as one of
the most remarkable chapters in our fight for inclusion in the military.
Perry was drafted into the Army in 1968 at the height of the
Vietnam war. On his official forms he checked the box "yes" in
acknowledgment of his homosexual tendencies. He described his
enlistment experience:
... as the examining physician held my Report of Medical History form
in his hands and asked me, "What does this mean?" pointing to the
block I had checked "yes." I said, "It means just what it says." He then
asked, "And what is that?" With six other people present and
listening, I said, "It means that I am homosexual." I made my
statement with pride and dignity without shame or fear. I was
immediately sent to an Army psychiatrist, who believed humiliation
was part of the evaluation process. I was asked about sexual conduct,
and acknowledged both oral and anal activity ... I was ultimately
found qualified for service and drafted in May of 1968.
Perry went on to negotiate his way of serving with pride and
professionalism, being open about his sexuality to the chain of
command and his fellow soldiers, and demanding the same respect
and protection afforded all soldiers. He re-enlisted several times and
served successfully for the next fourteen years. Within that time he
also performed for the Army as "Simone," his drag persona.
Then in 1982 the Department of Defense issued a directive
dictating "homosexuality incompatible with military service," and
claiming it undermined discipline, good order, and morale. At this
period the Army moved to expel Perry, and discharged him three
years later when his enlistment expired.
Perry fought this decision with the help of the ACLU over the next
several years in Watkins v. U.S. Army. In 1989 a federal appeals court
ordered him reinstated to active duty, reasoning that if the army
drafted him and repeatedly re-enlisted him knowing he was gay, then
they couldn't discharge him for being gay. The Justice Department
appealed the decision but the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear
the case and let stand the decision of the lower court. Perry thus
became the first openly gay serviceman to defeat the ban against gays
in the military. He settled his suit with the Army, agreeing to forgo reentry to the military in return for back pay, honorable discharge, full
retirement benefits, and a promotion to sergeant first class.
Perry's groundbreaking story was told in a 1994 documentary
entitled "Sis: The Perry Watkins Story." Perry went on making public
appearances around the country, talking about his experience in the
armed forces. Nothing so clearly and irrefutably displayed the Army's
hypocrisy around its gay and lesbian policy as Perry's case.

On March 17, 1996 Perry J. Watkins died of AIDS-related
complications in his home in Tacoma, Washington, at age 47. He is
remembered by GLAAD as a soldier who was asked and who DID
tell, and served anyway; who wore his uniform and his drag outfits
with equal pride. He was a courageous role model for gay men and
lesbians not only in the military, but in all parts of society.

GAY TEEN APPEALS
FOR HELP AT SCHOOL
* Board delays action to ban harassment
By Dan Shine, (Reprinted from the Detroit Free Press)
Allen Park, Ml- The Allen Park School Board delayed action Monday
on revising a policy that forbids, among other things, harassment of
students because of sexual orientation. The issue was brought up at
a May meeting when the mother of 14-year-old Joshua Winowiecki
asked the board to protect her son from harassment by other students
at Allen Park High School.
About two months earlier, Joshua had told a friend that he was gay.
After word got out, Joshua was spit on by students, called names, had
pictures of naked men tossed at him and stones thrown at him. The boy,
his mom, a civil rights attorney and members of area gay and lesbian
groups attended the May 13 school board meeting. They said the family
would sue unless the board acted to stop the harassment.
The Allen Park situation reflects a growing trend nationwide as
school districts struggle with how to protect gay and lesbian students
from harassment. School board member Robert Bratten on Monday
night Uune 3) asked for the delay to further study the policy's proposed
wording. The board will address the issue again June 10. Board
members unanimously agreed, angering many attending the standingroom-only meeting held at Allen Park High School. 'Shame on you,'
said Raymond Salliotte 111, Joshua's attorney. 'It's a sad day in Allen Park.'
Joshua said he was disappointed by the board's action, noting
that he 'still hears comments every day.' Some victims of such abuse
have taken their cases to court. Patricia Logue, an attorney for
Lambda Legal Defense Fund in Chicago, represents a former
Wisconsin high school student. Jamie Nabozny and his parents sued
the Ashland, Wis ., district last year in federal court, claiming it had

1969 S. Airport Road West• Traverse City fax 616-941-1158 • Ph 616-941-2298

NE'IWORKING 45°NORTH

18

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

not protected him from antigay harassment. Logue said gay and
lesbian students 'should have a safe learning environment, regardless

these occasions, however, the officers made it clear he could avoid a beating

of what you think of that student.'

"It seemed impossible for me to hide the fact that I am gay," said Fedetov,
a dark-haired, dark-eyed, clean cut youth who was also victimized because

NOTE: Allen Park High School, 18401 Champaign, Allen Park,
Ml 48101
Triangle Foundation (Gay and
Lesbian Anti-violence
organization), 19641 W. 7 Mile Road, Detroit, Ml 48219, 313-5373323

if he agreed to pay a bribe.

of his half-Armenian heritage and appearance. "I do not generally tell people
I am gay, but they seem to be able to tell from the way I dress in certain
American blue jeans and T-shirts, from the way I carry myself and from other
gay friends I am often with."
"I had heard that in Los Angeles, gay people can live free from
persecution. It was my dream to come to the United States, where I could live
freely."
After getting an exit visa for travel to Mexico, and working months to

L.A. GAY & LESBIAN CENTER WINS
LANDMARK AsYLUM CASE FOR
PERSECUTED RUSSIAN YOUTH

afford a plane ticket out of the country, he flew to Mexico City in December,
1995. From there he rode to Tijuana in a bus. Before he could enter the United
States at San Ysidro he was robbed of all his money.
Days later, while attempting to get to Los Angeles, he was captured by
INS officials at the San Clemente checkpoint for entering without a visa and

FIRST DECISION BY A JUDGE

transferred to their detention facility at Terminal Island. Expecting to be
deported but looking for support during his confinement, he found a phone
book ad for the Gay & Lesbian Center's Youth Talkline. Counselors there,

GMNG SEXUAL ORIENTATION-BASED AsYLUM TO A RUSSIAN
LOS ANGELES, May 19, •1996 -

A 23-year-old gay Russian man,

beaten and jailed in his home country because of his sexual orientation, is

having difficulty communicating with him, referred him to a Russian Gay &
Lesbian Support Group ,w hich put him in touch with the City of West

now a free man living in West Hollywood, thanks to a landmark asylum case
won by the Immigration Law Project of the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian

Hollywood's Russian liaison, Eugene Alper.
Fedetov was unaware that persecution based on one's sexual orientation

Community Services Center.
A native of a smal I town 400-m i les northeast of Moscow, Sergey Fedetov
was beaten, interrogated and/or jailed by police officials, and threatened by

was grounds for asylum, but Alper suspected he had a good case. He quickly
contacted the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project which
took the case on January 22, 1996.

school officials, on as many as 15 occasions.
"They arrested me because they could tell I was gay and they do not
think we should be alive or in Russia," said Fedetov, through an interpreter.

According to attorney Cheryl Gertler, one of two volunteer attorneys
who worked on the case, Fedetov was very reluctant to provide details about

"Although the Russian government recently repealed the law outlawing
homosexuality, this has not changed the mistreatment by the police and other

the extensive abuse he faced in Russia.

Russian people. If anything, the increasing anarchy in my country has made

and saddened to realize that Sergey had accepted as normal the beating and

it worse."
On one occasion, Fedetov and a friend were arrested by three officers

harassment he had endured simply because he is gay."

"During the course ofourquestioning him," said Gertler, "I was shocked

As compelling as Fedetov's case was, the Gay & Lesbian Center's

because they were "obvious homosexuals." At the police station he was

Immigration Law Project Coordinator, Jeff Kim, and the Project's two

thrown around, slapped in the face, and hi ton the back with a "demokratiser''

volunteer attorneys, Gertler and John Craig, knew they were facing an uphill

(rubber baton) by an interrogator who ordered him to reveal the names of

battle.

other gay people. When he refused, he was jailed in a small cell with three

"Sexual orientation-based asylum is extremely difficult to attain," said

other people for more than nine hours without food or water.
Upon his release, Fedetov was interrogated by officials at his high school,

Kim. "Only 36 have been granted in the entire country and never had a judge
awarded asylum to a Russian on this basis. When the judge deported three
people prior to Sergey's hearing, we were very nervous."
"We were successful only through the combination of Sergey's

who learned he was gay from the police. The school officials threatened to
have him registered as a juvenile delinquent if he did to change his behavior.
Of the six times he was taken into custody by police, only once did he

compelling account of persecution, the dedicated teamwork of extraordinary
volunteer attorneys, top-notch expert testimony, and able assistance from the

avoid a severe beating. On the occasions he was not arrested, he and his
friends were taunted by the authorities, who would yell insults and demand

City of West Hollywood's Russian community liaison and the San Francisco-

the names of other gay people. They would also make a scene, so as to let

based International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission."

neighbors and passersby know he was gay. The harassment of gay people
was too much for one of his friends, who ended his life by jumping from the

"Since I fled the country, I know that I would have faced even more
severe persecution by governmental authorities if I were returned to Russia,"
said Fedetov. "I'm very grateful to the Gay & Lesbian Center, my attorneys,

ninth floor of a building.
The police also "warned" his mother of his behavior and surprised him

Eugene and all those who have been so kind to me. I believe they have saved

at home once a month to intimidate him and demand information about other

my life."

gay people.
This abuse of gay people was not unique to his hometown. After moving

Though Fedetov has his freedom now, he has little else. The Gay &
Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project is in the process of getting him a
work permit, but meanwhile he is in need of basic items such as clothing,

to Moscow in June, 1984, to earn enough money to flee to the United States,
he was stopped and detained by police officials on at least five occasions. On

NE1WORKING 45°NORTH

19

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

toiletries, shoes, and money. For information on how you can help, call 213860-7350.
The mission of the Gay & Lesbian Center's Immigration Law Project is to
offer legal assistance to lesbian and gay immigrants and immigrants with HIV.
Nearly 300 people were helped last year and more than 450 people are
expected to be served this year.
The Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Community Services Center, with more
than 240 employees and an annual budget of $18 million, is the largest gay
and lesbian organization in the world, one of the nation's leading HIV/AIDS
care providers and equal rights advocates, and home to an array of free or
low cost health, educational, cultural and social programs welcoming 14,000
visits from ethnically diverse youth and adults each month.

It is not necessary to talk [about being gay in Spain].
Everybody is tolerant. People are not classifled with that, and
you know, I absolutely refuse that classiflcation. For that
reason when someone says, Well you are an openly gay
director,' come on. Stop. I'm a director. 11

By Susan Estrich

GAY MARRIAGE BATTLE ABOUT WHO

_i;;r1'\:c~

OurHopeorGoal ... ls
t o ~
promote unity within the Little Traverse
~
..-.~
Bay Gay Community.
~......-..:;
~

--......

The Petoskey Group is expanding, and
would like your input, ideas and suggestions ...
The list that follows are some of our ideas ...

~

BOWLING TEAMS ... CAMPING ... WOMEN'S AND MEN'S CHOIRS ...
ALTERNATIVE SINGING GROUPS ... GAY SUPPORT GROUPS ... GAY
M GROUPS ... COOKING & BAKING... GARDENING... AooPT-AHIGHWAY... HIKING ... BIKING... WALKING ... GAY SERVICES...
COMPILE A REsOURCE GUIDE ... QUILTING GROUPS ... AEROBICS
CLASSES ... SomALL TEAMS ... DART LEAGUES ... WELCOME
WAGONS ... BOOK ExCHANGES ... VIDEO EXCHANGES ... GoLF
TEAMS ... YOURS HERE.
This is your opportunity to be part of something very
positive ... Any and all are asked to respond with your suggestions
to either:
Tim Evans @ 1-616-348-8151
Larry Rogers

@

1-616-348-1622 Day Time
1-616-347-7123 Evenings/Weekends

Dan Doran

@

1-906-635-9263

June Weber

@

1-517-732-4144

NE1WORKING 45° NORTH

Over the last few months there have been hundreds, perhaps
thousands, of articles and opinions on same-sex marriage in
newspapers around the country. It all began getting attention right
around the Iowa primary, when some notable Republicans suggested
that America adopt a "Defense of Marriage" stance.
Following this, many states have banned same-sex marriage and
almost all others have debated the issue. The US Congress has even
introduced their own bills that would condemn gay marriage while
touting hetersexual marriages. I pulled the following opinions and
fragmented articles to give you an idea of what is being said in
defense of 'marriage for everyone.'

USA TODAY-COUNTERPOINTS COLUMN

• -Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar

PETOSKEY GROUP

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE:
THE RESPONSE

WE ARE

LOS ANGELES- Was I the last one to learn that Dennis Rodman was
a cross-dresser? Or to .wonder how a country that celebrates him as a
hero could also embrace the much-married hypocrites who have
been touting the Marriage Defense Act for their own political gain?
I don't blame President Clinton for announcing up front that he'd sign
a totally unnecessary bill of dubious constitutionality which contradicts
every conservative principle of federalism. What choice did he have? We
all know the Republicans would have wrapped this one around his neck
if he didn't sign it; can you even imagine the 30-second ads?
But the legislation - which would deny federal benefits to same-sex
couples - is still a disgrace. What are we so afraid of? That being gay- being
the object of public derision, Satanic denunciation and widespread
discrimination - will now be too attractive to our kids because the state of
Hawaii might allow them court-authorized marriages?
Granting two people a license under civil law does not mean we
approve of the union, but that we leave such decisions to the
individuals, their families and their God. The difference between our
religious beliefs and civil law is the definition of tolerance.
The real script here is political, and gays are just the latest pawns.
Single-sex marriage makes sense in these terms. It's a classic wedge
issue. You force the president to alienate some of his supporters. You
divide Democrats, depress gay participation, and win points for
values. What could go wrong?
Maybe we're better than they think. In the end, the real issue
posed by the legislation is not your view of single-sex marriage, but
your tolerance of nasty political mud fights at the expense of those
whose votes aren't being sought. It's not really about them. It's about
the rest of us. Americans may not like gay marriage, but we don't like
gay-bashing either.

THE BOSTON GLOBE
ELLEN GOODMAN COLUMN
BOSTON-Memo to the Congress: Thanks for thinking of me, but I
don't need you to defend my marriage. My husband and I can handle
that ourselves.

20

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Spare me "The Defense of Marriage Act" label on a bill banning
same-sex marriages. The name implies that the value of heterosexual
marriages goes down once you let homosexuals into the institution.
There goes the neighborhood.
I don't buy this realtor's view of relationships. Gay and lesbian
couples who want to wed aren't trying to assail the grounds for
marriage. They're trying to share them. If anything, they want to
stabilize the gay community.
This defense act dreamed up by the Republican right is a
mischievous, gratuitous attempt to find a wedge in the political tool
box. And now that President Clinton has promised to sign it, we ought
to call it The Protection of Political Flank Act.
That said, I still want to ask how we ever got to the point where
the dominant gay rights issue of 1996 is marriage. You couldn't pick
a more volatile terrain .
We are all over the map on gay rights issues. There are places in
America where it is still illegal to have same-sex sex, let alone
marriage.
On Tuesday the Supreme Court ruled that a state couldn't ban
civil rights protections for homosexuals. But that isn't the same as
extending their rights. Even so, the ruling entailed a knock-down fight
between justices that had Scalia sputtering about gays with "high
disposable income" and "political power much greater than their
numbers."
(Dear Antonin: If you want them to lose some of that high
disposable income, encourage them to raise kids.)
Frankly, the wedding alarm bells sound like a diversion. There's
lots of good old-fashioned discrimination going around in housing
and jobs. There are plenty of hate crimes. And if you think that the
issue of gays in the military has been resolved, don't ask and don't
tel I them that.

THE WASHINGTON POST

federal recognition of same-sex marriages. That a conservative court
would take up the issue of homosexual rights for the first time in a
decade and then rule in gays' favor is clear reason to celebrate. That
a Democratic president would then seemingly knock us back down
is, well, reason to celebrate too.
What's going on here? We're a gay couple, so how could we be
cheering a president who claims to be for gays but against gay
marriage? How could two women, together for seven years, applaud
a White House decree that seems to so baldly undermine our
relationship?
The gay movement's top ranks don't see it this way, but Clinton
has displayed tactical skill by not grabbing the political bait
conservatives were offering. Congressional Republicans had hoped
to cast Clinton as a social extremist by introducing anti-gay legislation
in an election year on the theory that a president who supported gays
in the military would surely embrace gays in matrimony. He didn't,
and the movement could someday have that to thank him for.
Thank him because Clinton's cunning may be the only thing
saving the gay movement's broader civil rights agenda. The Supreme
Court ruling opened a door to possible change, but gays can still be
denied a job, refused a mortgage or rejected for health benefits solely
on the basis of who they return home to at night. Now, suddenly, the
fractious issue of same-sex marriage has erupted into the most critical
issue defining gays in this country and their rights as citizens. And if
the movement's chances of achieving more basic legal protections
end up being forfeited because gay marriage has taken center court,
we have only ourselves to blame.
Whether gay marriage is a good or bad thing is not so much the
point. What should concern gays is that their leadership has played
masterfully into conservative hands by allowing this to become the
chief emblem of their cause.

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Sunday, June 16, 1996

GAY MARRIAGE TRAP

Friday June 7,

7996

GAY RIGHTS ADVOCATES QUESTION EFFORT TO
DEFEND SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

*We Fell Into a Right-Wing Ambush

By DAVID W. DUNLAP
Fearing a political battle that will divert attention from what they
regard as more critical issues - and one that will ultimately be lost
- some influential homosexuals are questioning the high-profile
campaign by major gay groups to defend same-sex marriage.

By Liz Spayd and Brigid Quinn
IN THE same week the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that gays
cannot be categorically singled out for discrimination, President
Clinton announced his intention to sign legislation that would deny

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21

LINDA L. WIKLE
Agent

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

In the heat of a presidential campaign, an issue that lesbian and
gay organizers had planned to advance much more deliberately has
suddenly become a top priority.
"The Defense of Marriage Act is an out-of-control freight train
and will be darn near impossible to stop," said David Smith, the
communications director for the Human Rights Campaign, a national
gay group. "We're treating it as an anti-gay attack and we're going to
fight it tooth and nail until the bitter end."
That all-out strategy concerns other gay-rights advocates, who
have tried not to break ranks publicly but have conceded in interviews
that they are troubled by the way in which the issue is playing out.
"The gay and lesbian movement is marching down the wrong
path and running a disastrous course," said Keith Boykin, executive
director of the National Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum in
Washington. "We don't have public support. We don't even have
unanimity within the gay and lesbian community."
Paula Ettelbrick, legislative counsel to the Empire State Pride
Agenda, a political group in New York state, said, "It doesn't seem
worth it to put all our eggs in the marriage basket."
"Everything is being judged as good or bad according to one issue,"
Ms. Ettelbrick added. "That's very dangerous for us politically."
Even those in the gay rights movement who question the current
political strategy agree that it would be ideal if the rights, benefits and
responsibilities of civil marriage were extended to couples of the same sex.
Marriage so swiftly became the emblematic gay rights issue of
the season that lesbian and gay organizers were left with little time
to build political alliances.
"We have lost - if, in fact, we ever had - the luxury of
deliberation and reflection," said Kathryn Kendell, the legal director
of the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco. "We are
now fighting for our political life."
"What we needed to learn from the military fight is that we have
to build more political power before we win any gay issue on a
national level," said Urvashi Vaid, who wrote "Virtual Equality: The
Mainstreaming of Gay and Lesbian Liberation," which was published
last year by Anchor Books.
"We didn't pick this fight," said Robert Knight of the Family
Research Council in Washington. "The only reason there is this
legislative activity is because homosexual activists have tried to
impose their agenda through judicial fiat."

INTERNATIONAL UPDATE
-Staffwriter

.,.,GAY MARRIAGE" BILL BECOMES LAW
The Althing, Iceland's legislative assembly, has (on 4 June 1996)
made law a bill which in effect gives the go-ahead to gay marriage.
Under the new law, homosexuals in officially registered 'confirmed
cohabitation' are granted the same rights and duties, with certain
exceptions, as married heterosexual couples.
Although generally seen as a major piece of human rights
legislation, some in Iceland's gay community allege that the new law
leaves legalised anti-gay discrimination intact. Such claims centre on
the law's clauses which deny homosexuals in recognised
cohabitation the right to adopt children or to avail of artificial
insemination technology. (from the Iceland Review)

CANADA TO EXTEND SAME-SEX
PARTNER HEAL TH BENEFITS
OTTAWA - Canada's human rights tribunal ruled Thursday that
the federal government must extend health benefits to same-sex
partners of government employees.
"We have said all along that it was discriminatory to deny benefits
to those in a same-sex relationship while extending the same benefits
to heterosexual couples," Canadian Human Rights Commission chief
commissioner Maxwell Ya Iden said in a news release.
The tribunal's decision was based on complaints by two federal
employees against the departments of Immigration and Foreign
Affairs .
The two alleged that they were discriminated against on the basis
of sexual orientation when their applications for benefits for their
same-sex partners were denied.
"Lesbian and gay employees contribute to the same workplace
benefit plans as heterosexuals. We are entitled to receive the equal
benefit of those plans. Today's ruling is a milestone for us," said Stan
Moore, a foreign service officer and one of the plaintiffs.
Canada's parliament recently passed a bill to add sexual
orientation to the Canadian Human Rights Act, thus banning
discrimination against homosexuals in federal agencies and federally
regulated companies.

continued next page

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22

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Pro erty of the Ct:mer

1

Univiliill~ll lilfii~i~llH1[1i11mi1~11imi11d,

OK

Triangle continued

M 001 111 471

Thursday's tribunal ruling was based, however, on a 1992
decision by the Ontario Court of Appeal that the Canadian Human
Rights Act can be interpreted to cover sexual orientation .
"This decision only applies to federal public servants. But if a
similar case would go to a tribunal involving an airline or a railroad,
which are federally regulated companies, we'd hope it would be the
same kind of decision," said Canadian Human Rights Commission
spokeswoman Donna Balkan.
She added that most federally regulated private companies
already provide benefits for same-sex couples.
"For example most of the major banks, the (Canadian
Broadcasting Corporation), Bell Canada, Air Canada,.already provide
these benefits. So we don't have very many cases at this point,"
Balkan said.

HUNGARY'S GAYS
WELCOME LAW ON RIGHTS
BUDAPEST, Hungary - In early May, Hungary's gay community
welcomed a new law giving homosexuals and heterosexuals equal
legal and financial rights in long-term relationships, but said there
was still room for improvement.
The Hungarian parliament passed the amendment to its Civil
Code Tuesday by 207 votes to 73. There were five abstentions.
"We welcome the fact that parliament passed this law," Geza
Juhasz of the gay organization Szivarvany (Rainbow) " But I don't
think this proves that most MPs are more enlightened."
Opposition politicians voting against the amendment said it
contradicts Hungary's values and public opinion.
"The law was actually imposed on parliament by the
Constitutional Court," Juhasz said, adding that his organization said
it was too early to talk of same-sex marriages.
"(Gay marriage) might become possible in a few years' time, but
probably only in a legal construction giving actual marriage rights but
using a different name," Juhasz said.
He added that while there has been notable improvement in gay
rights during the last years, the process was very slow.
Hungarian legislation on homosexuality was relatively liberal,
even in the communist era. While some other communist countries
punished consenting adult homosexuals, Hungarian law only did so
where one partner was under 18, the legal age of consent for
homosexuals.

President Nelson Mandela's party reached agreement on May
7th with the white-led main opposition party on a new constitution,
ensuring its passage as promised two years after the end of apartheid.
A bill of rights would guarantee the rights to adequate housing,
food, water, education and health care, all of which were denied the
black majority during the apartheid era. It also would ban
discrimination on the basis of race, gender, sexual orientation, age,
pregnancy or marital status.

RUSSIA'S GAYS
VOTE AGAINST COMMUNIST PARTY
MOSCOW- Russia's gays and lesbians said that a communist
victory in a presidential election on June 16 would have been a
tragedy for the country.
"Under no circumstances would we have voted for Russian
communist leader Gennady Zyuganov," lnterfax news agency quoted
the head of the gay and lesbian movement Roman Kalinin as saying.
"A Communist president would be a tragedy not only for us, gays and
lesbians, but for the ~hole of Russia."
Zyuganov was the strongest challenger to President Boris Yeltsin
in the election.
Kalinin, who said the movement represented five percent of
Russia's 150 million population, spoke after its congress in Moscow,
which was closed to the press.
Under the old Soviet rules, gays faced jail terms of up to seven
years under a law banning male homosexual acts which was
repealed only in 1993. WGays still face strong prejudice in Russian
society and most lead an underground lifestyle.
In early July, Boris Yeltsin was declared the winner in this year's
Presidential election. (See related story: Russian Youth Given
Asylum elsewhere in this issue-Editor)

2.1 MICHICiAN
WOMYN*S
MUSIC
FESTIVAL
11

August 13-18. 1996
Come ond ioin us as we

BLAIR SIGNALS DEAL ON GAYS

begin our third

By Michael White, The Guardian

decade of

LONDON-Tony Blair signalled yesterday that an incoming
Labour government would negotiate "proper codes of conduct with
the military" over the acceptance of gays and lesbians in the armed
forces - designed to reconcile concerns on both sides.
Gay lobbists expressed dismay that the Labour leader - unlike
1O shadow cabinet colleagues - abstained rather than support
Edwina Currie's amendment to the Armed Forces Bill which would
have put homosexual and heterosexual conduct on the same
disciplinary footing in the ranks.

NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH

SOUTH AFRICA GOVERNMENT
PROTECTS GAYS AND LESBIANS

w oods,
the music,
the extravagant
days and
star-filled nights .. .
the womyn and
magic of Michigan.

23

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996

Carol continued from page 9

to discover her identity as a lesbian.
"As I got more healthy I was able to identify these issues. So then
I got involved with the Out 'n About Coffeehouse, which actually
started as a group of women who got together as a discussion group
initiated by Loraine Anderson after she wrote the article in which she
came out in the Record-Eagle. There was a group of about ten of us
who got together to discuss the issues surrounding homophobia,
internal and external. After a few meetings we came up with the
concept of how networking and community really helps-especially
for those of us who are up in the woods ... homophobia can be
exacerbated by being isolated-that's one aspect of it. So our
discussion groups came to the topic of 'Why don't we have a
coffeehouse?"'
And so they did it at Unity Church. Women came from all over,
and the coffeehouse is now starting its third year of meeting one
Saturday night a month.
"That was probably the start of my active career in the gaylesbian community here. The coffeehouse put me in touch with a lot
more lesbians in the comm~nity and other people and that's how I
first discovered Friends North, who they were and what they did, and
the Newsletter. And now here I am-on the board-and then I
accepted the responsibility of being president until the end of the
year. I think we've had a really good leadership person in Jim."
Carol noted that the board has spent a lot of time just with
housekeeping issues because of several resignations and so has not
focused on anything new so far this year.
"I'm still getting to know the organization and its history. It has
been primarily a social organization ... but I'd like to see us be a bit
more political and maybe take on some new avenues of expression
as an organization. One thing I am seeing is that with P-FLAG,
GLSTN, the Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse, and Friends North
there's a scattered attempt at a gay-lesbian community, but I'd like to
see it be more cohesive. We have so many different personalities
involved and so many different goals and no real money to do
anything with ... We need a center, even if it just starts out with a
room-maybe I'll use my basement, I don't know-a couple of file
cabinets, and a telephone."
"My experience at the Creating Change Conference (last fall in
Detroit) is that is how a lot of places started-with Zero, Zippolajust energy and some really dedicated people and now some of them
have million dollar budgets! And with the growth of our (Grand
Traverse) community I think it is a possibility-a central place for the
newsletter, the telephone line, a resource library, coffeehouse,
meetings, etc. That is something to look forward to."
We got back to the subject of coming out.
"Nathan has just come along with me in my recovery and
uncovering my sexuality. He was about 13-terrible age for a kid (to
be hit with this) and he was pretty angry at first but I was just very
honest with him. It came to a head and he said 'You're not who I
thought you were' and I said 'I'm not who I thought I was. But
regardless, I am your mother and I love you and will never, never do
anything that would hurt you ... He cried and I cried ... "
"It was a challenge for him to face his friends and what they

NFIWORKING 45°NORTH

24

Carol looking very
glamorous in the
crotchof a tree.

might say and how he felt about it and yet I never would pretend in
front of his friends ... He had his friends come over to spend the night
and it was OK ... "
Carol nearly ran the car off the road one night when this dialogue
took place in the back seat:
Nathan:
Jeff:
Nathan:
Jeff:

Hey Jeff, did you know my Mom's a lesbian?
Yeah, right, and I'm Johnny Carson.
No, really.
Oh, really. Oh, that's cool.

"And then they started talking about Nintendo, or something. I
had no idea he was going to say this-much less in front of me. I
could imagine them talking in their bedroom ... "
Carol came out to her mother quite soon after she figured it out
for herself.
"But I do remember an incident years ago: I had a crush on one
of my teachers in fourth grade. I talked about her constantly. My mom
said to me 'You know, the way you talk about her I'd think you were
in love with her.' And the way she said it I knew I'd better not talk
about this any more. I can remember it was clear as yesterday. It was
almost like being whacked. What have I done now!"
"So, I eventually came out to the rest of my family, my brothers
and my sister and they all said 'Oh, well, we figured that anyway.'
No one was surprised-not really. I had done all the standard things
when I was growing up. I was married for a while, and I lived with
Nathan's father for a few years."
"And I've noticed this phenomenon with women who have
known pretty much all their lives about their lesbianism ... they've
grown up with the homophobia and the fear that used to be more
prevalent, I feel, then it is today. And with women like myself who
have more recently discovered their lesbianism, I didn't grow up with
that fear. I didn't live with it for 40 years. I don't know it as much. It's
a lot easier for me to be more vocal and out at work with my coworkers. At least that's one of my personal theories ... I'm certainly
grateful to be where I am today.

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 4 • JULY/AUGUST 1996