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Property of the Center

Triangle Commun

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Free to Members and Subscribers

VollO, No.1

January 1999

The Triangle Community Center, Inc. a non-profit Connecticut corporation, exists to provide services to give the
lesbian/gay/bisexualjtransgender community a sense of identity, pride and visibility, as well as to work with
the greater Fairfield County community to foster understanding and awareness of !es/bi/gay/trans issues.

"Ho

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- Liz S ■ ith

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The Triangle Community Center
presents

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-WABC-TV

January 15, 16, 21, 22, & 23, 1999 at 8PM
Norwalk Community Technical College
Performing Arts Center
188 Richards Avenue, Norwalk

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Proud Corporate Sponsors

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"- RoSES
BR£A00'-r
203-855-1485
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$35.00 & $50hoW reception
includes a posts

people's bank

Many Hearts • • • One Community

T NEWS & VIEWS

TCC IS £1GHT YEARS OLD!
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1989

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1990

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1991
1993
1999

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They dreamed it.

ff£1P US
C£1£BRAT£!

They planned it.

They opened it.

They moved it.

SUNDAY,
JANUARY 10, 1999
FROM l-5 PM
Refreshments served.

BUT
You make it work.

Imperial Court of Connecticut

Movie Night
TCC will present their next potluck/ movie night
on Sunday, January 17 beginning at 6 PM. Bring
your cute little self and food for four. The movie
this month is "Stonewall". It's one person's vision
of what happened on the first night of the
Stonewall Riot.

The Board of Directors of TCC wishes to extend its heart felt
gratitude to The Imperial Court of
Connecticut for donating the proceeds
from their recent show ($503.00) to TCC.
Their generous support of the Center
especially at this critical juncture in the
Center's life is greatly appreciated.

Nunsense A=Men!
Nunsense A-Men! -- an all new, all male version of the smash play "Nunsense" - is coming to Connecticut. Performances are scheduled for
January 15/16/21/22/23 at 8 PM, at the Norwalk Community Technical College's Performing Arts Theatre. The tickets, selling for $50
and $35, include a post show reception and may be purchased by calling (203) 855-1485. The Norwalk Community Technical College
Performing Arts Center is located at 188
Richards Avenue in Norwalk, on the East
Side, off Connecticut Turnpike (1-95) exit
13.
Nunsense A-Men! Features comedy, gags,
and music. The show's director is Scott M.
Robbins.
The musical director is Stephanie Daumer
and the choreographer is Kathy Hellrigel.
The set designer is Barry Axtell. Patty
Blackwood' s puppet is being featured in
the performances. The Westchester
Broadway Theatre and the Helen Hayes
Theatre of Nyack, NY, are also assisting in
the Norwalk production.

Elliott Arluck, the Norwalk show's producer
said the corporate sponsors include Virgin
Atlantic Airways, People's Bank, and York 168
(168 York Street, New Haven). Additionally, the
hotel Millennium Bailey's of London has
donated a room for two and the Regal UN
Plaza in Manhattan has donated a brunch for
two. These gifts will be awarded as prizes in a
raffle in conjunction with the show.
Proceeds benefit the Triangle Community
Center of East Norwalk and Bread & Roses,
the HIV and AIDS organization in Norwalk
and Georgetown, in Fairfield County.

NUnSense workers !!et the word out!
-2-

T NEWS & VIEWS
TCC News
Splinters from the Board
Allow me to me to introduce myself. My name is James Bridge, and fma
member of the Board of Directors here at the Triangle Community Center.
1n my other life; I'm the assistant to the executive director at Bread & Roses.
lf you don't who and what Bread & Roses is, shame on you. (We provide
services for those infected and affected with HIV/ AIDS, in the Greater
Fairfield County Area.) It is a very rewarding job, and I feel truly blessed to
be there.
The reason I am writing today is that I have recently assumed the mantle of
the Fundraising Chair for the Triangle Corrnnunity Center. It's a great
responsibility, and I don't think I can do it alone. Yes, I need help. I want to
put together a committee. A High Council of Fundraising; if you will. I want
to put the fun back in Fundraising. I know it sounds corny, but if you say so
to my face; I might hit you. I'm taking-this seriously. Here in Fairfield County,
we have an affluent and diverse community. Emphasis on the word
"Affluent". There is no logical reason our center, located in the heart of one
the richest counties of the richest state of the richest country in the world
should be struggling to keep its doors open. Okay, so we're here. You know
we're here, and maybe we're doing something wrong. WE WON'T KNOW
IF YOU DON'T TELL US!
I've been told that if you make it fun, they will come. We already built it,
and they seem to be staying away in droves. So help me out here. Contact
me. Maybe you can join my little committee. Make it a big committee. I
want everybody. Young; not so young; male, female, human, alien, whatever.
lf you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or just have a decent fashion
sense, speak the hell up! My email is Palemonkey@yahoo.com. I'm forming
a committee. A task force. A high frikkin council. I want it to be all-inclusive
and I want it to be fun. For me, for you, for everybody. Now put on your
thinking caps and get to work. Thanks.

Bi Rap Group
Needs Facilitator
Peter & Robin, co-facilitators are
retiring and seek B~f}eople who
would Ike to keep this needed &
important group going. Our lives
have recentty- taken directions that
do not give us the 3nd & 4th Wed.
continuity that is required. Please
do not let this group fade away!
Call Peter at838-2806 or Robin
at 855-8546. We can continue to
facilitate until March. If you love
it, nurture it; please.

Matthew Shepard Vigil in Westport
Nearly 500 people of many faiths and of both gay and heterosexual
orientations attended a special vigil service Sunday evening
November 15, 1998 in Westport for Matthew Shepard, the young
gay college student brutally murdered in a hate crime in Wyoming
in October. The service, held at the Unitarian Church in Westport
and c<:>-sponsored by Temple Israel of Westport, was organized by
Rozanne Gates and Suzanne Sheridan, c<:>-chairs of the Rainbow
Task Force, organized at the church 10 years ago to provide support
for gay and lesbian members. Suzanne and Rozanne opened the
service by faking note of the horrific crime in Wyoming. In
organizing the service they called upon all churches in Connecticut
to be open and affirming toward gays and lesbians.
Special thanks was given to Triangle Community Center president
Donald Buxton for his assistance in the vigil. The Connecticut Gay
Man's Chorus performed and the service ended with a candle
lighting by each of the nearly 500 persons present.
Leif Mitchell, member of the board of directors of the Gay, Lesbian,
and Straight Education Network (GI.SEN), said the incident was
not isolated, "There are Matthew Shepards right here in
Connecticut." Leif said gay students are several times more likely
to be threatened and are three times more likely to commit suicide,
than heterosexual students. He-said the average gay student hears
the word "fag" 25 times a day in school, and that in 97per cent of
the cases, the teacher and school do nothing about it. For the record,
he said "I am not a kleptomaniac," echoing a comment earlier in
the service by the organizers of the vigil, who referred to the
comment by Senator Trent Lott, from Mississippi. Lott compared
homosexuals to kleptomaniacs in an interview on the national
Armstrong Williams show this summer, on the right-wing
America's Voice Network.
Michael Collins, public relations director of the Triangle Community
Center of East Norwalk - the gay and lesbian community center
serving Fairfield County-noted that the right-wing has been wrong
virtually all the time. "In the past two centuries the right wing was
wrong about slavery, wrong in its winning position on Native
Americans, wrong about Jim Crow and segregation, wrong for
bringing us the KKK, wrong for denying women the right to vote,
wrong for opposing child labor laws, wrong for bringing Nazism
to Europe, wrong for bringing us McCarthyism, wrong in its
anti-semitism, wrong for opposing women's rights and for sexism,
on the wrong side of the civil rights movement, and wrong about
homosexuality today." Michael called on gays and lesbians to make
"best efforts" to come out, since the closet is the ultimate tool of the
right wing.
The Triangle Community Center arranged media coverage and
there were reports on Cablevision 12 covering Fairfield County.
WEBE 107.9 in Westport also covered the vigil. The Stamford
Advocate had an article Saturday and Sunday and Monday. The
Connecticut Jewish Ledger based in West Hartford, sent a reporter,
and IN Newsweekly sent a reporter to cover the vigil from
Westbrook, CT. IN Newsweekly is based in Boston and covers gay
and lesbian news for all 6 New England states. The New York T1IDes
had a significant article in its Sunday Connecticut Weekly section.
Some of the musical performances included: Beth Stiles solo on
piano, Cantor Richard Silverman of Temple Israel of Westport, Chris
Coogan performing "Light A Candle", the Connecticut Gay Men's
Chorus, Suzanne Sheridan, Edward Thompson solo on piano and
finally the entire congregation sang: "We Are A Gentle Angry
People" by Holly Near.
Clergy speaking Included Rabbi RobertOrkland of Temple Israel,
the Reverend John Tolley of the Unitarian Church in Westport, the
Reverends Alan Johnson and Martie McMane c<:>-pastors of the
Saugatuck Congregatinal Church, the Reverend Linda Hirst of the
Greens Forms Congregational Church. Also speaking was Sunny
Khadjavi, president of P-FLAG of Norwalk, who said "What
happened to Matthew is the worst nightmare for the parent of a
gay child."
-Michael Collins

T NEWS & VIEWS
Stamford Panel Raises Awareness

Standing on Ceremony

Retired Newtown gym teacher Deann LeBeau said she has heard students
call classmates "faggot" or, "dyke" and watched some teachers who
witnessed the harassment simply tum their backs and ignore it. "I've seen
kids who are afraid to go from one class to another because they don't
know what they'll face as far as degradation or harassment in the hallway,"
said LeBeau, who is gay, at a panel discussion on gay and lesbian issues
at the Stamford Government Center. "Sexual orientation has to be dealt
with in schools." Discrimination against students in the schools based on
their sexual orientation is against the law, and school administrators,
teachers and employees have to be taught that it is not acceptable and
how to deal with it when they see it, Le Beau said. Le Beau was one of four
guest speakers at the sparsely attended discussion, hosted by Stamford
Public Schools' Office of Diversity and Multicultural Education. School
Superintendent Michael Nast and Board of Education member Martin
Levine were in attendance, along with several teachers, parents and
members of the gay community.
David Knapp, co-chairman of Connecticut's Stonewall Speakers
Association, said Connecticut has also witnessed deadly violence directed
at gays. In 1988, two high school students followed 33-year-old Richard
Riehl from a gay bar to his Wethersfield home, where they beat him to
death with a log while he pleaded for his life, said Knapp, who came out
as gay in his SOs after 27 years of marriage. Riehl's death sparked the
creation of the Stonewall Speakers, who travel around the state talking to
school groups and organizations to raise awareness of gay and lesbian
issues and build tolerance. Knapp said he knows firsthand the
discrimination gay and lesbians feel. Knapp said he was a devoted Boy
Scouts of America commissioner who was asked to resign his post and
leave his church after officials discovered he was gay. "I'm hoping all of
you here tonight can stop the discrimination," Knapp said.
Lester Sharlach, a Stamford resident and former president of the local
chapter of Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays Inc., recalled how his
gay son used to be afraid to go to gym class at the former Rippowam
High School for fear of being ridiculed by classmates. "There were no
safe zones in schools then for gay kids and no teachers for them to go to,"
said Sharlach, who has been involved in PFLAG for almost 20 years.
Although high schools in Greenwich and Westport have gay/ straight
student alliances, there are no such organizations in Stamford or Norwalk
schools, Sharlach said. About 30 percent of all teen suicides involve
homosexuals, Sharlach said. Attitudes must change so gay youths can
find acceptance and stop trying to live a lie or hide their sexual orientation.

It's time for me to come out of the closet. Not about being gay. Clerics
have been doing that so much now that it's no longer news. No, it's
time for me to come out about the fact that I officiate at gay
commitment ceremonies. What makes this particularly difficult is that
I am (for the moment) a priest in good standing of the Episcopal
Church, one of the mainline Protestant mainstays that still says this
type of ceremony is incongruous with scripture. Even talking about it
could cost me my priesthood. While the church came close to
approving gay commitment ceremonies in 1997, it wasn't close
enough. And, as with the rest of the country, the issue continues to be
the subject of heated debate.
Well, rm tired of debating. And I'm tired of keeping silent. I want to
explain why these ceremonies are important and why I perform them.
I was driving to the gym one morning last month when I heard the
news about Matthew Shepard. As I worked out, all I could think about
was Matthew and about the sermon I was to give at a commitment
ceremony that afternoon. I had been to the rehearsal and rehearsal
dinner the night before and was on an emotional high until I heard
the tragic news from Wyoming. How was this heinous crime going to
affect the WOfds I was going to offer at the ceremony.
After the workout I went on autopilot. Wearing my clerical collar and
robes-including the clerical stole that was draped around my neck at
my ordination ten years previously and that I have worn at every
wedding or commitment ceremony I have done since 1 stood in front
of the gathered lovrd ones and wondered ifl would be able to contain
my own emotion of the day.
Seated in the second row was one of the betrothed' s Aunt Marie. She
is from Springrield, Mo., which is just 60 miles or so from where my
own mother was raised. Perhaps in her late 60s, Marie had pulled me
aside the night before and asked whether her nephew and his intended
were going to exchange vows. I assured her that the ceremony was,
in almost all ways, very traditional. "Good," she said. "They deserve
something traditional."
They certainly did. And it was a beautiful service. Promises were
exchanged, as were rings. Friends and family members gave speeches
and toasts. God was truly present. How could God be absent when
there is such love? Every loving couple deserves the opportunity to
have such a celebration.
Yet the church-at least my church, as most others-continues to say
that gay people don't deserve this opportunity. lhisattitude is directly
responsible for creating and supporting an environment in which
hatred and prejudice can take root and grow-the kind of environment
in which young people like Matthew Shepard can be abusedand killed.
The time has come to come out. The time has come to say that there
are those of us within the gay community who believe in lifelong
commitment and who want to celebrate that and do. The time has
come for those of us who are within the system, who are intimately
involved with the church, to say, "Enough already!" It is time that we
let the world know that love transcends the narrow vision that our
brothers and sisters often preach. It is time that we let children see
that two people can love each other deeply and intimately regardless
of their gender.
For lesbians and gay men of faith, we must take the responsibility to
be known and seen in our spiritual communities, recognizing.that we
too are deserving of all that God has to offer us. Matthew didn't get
the chance to grow old enough to find a life partner But for those of
us who have, we owe it to young men and women like Matthew to
celebrate those relationships and let the world, and our churches, know
about them. The perpetrators of Matthew's death in Wyoming are
ultimately responsible for their actions. But the church is responsible
too in its complicity to allow the many messages of ignorance and
prejudice about gay people to be issued from its pulpits and published
in its name.
Nissing, a pastoral psychotherapist in New York City and Wilton,
Conn., is also an Episcopal priest and founding facilitator of
OutSpoken, a youth group at the Triangle Community Center in
Norwalk, Conn.

1st Gathering of a New
Social Group for Couples
Sun., February 7tl1 at 4:00 PM.
Come with a story of the funniest experience
you've had as a couple (and a dish to share). We
were part of a gay couples group in Washington DC
and a lesbian one in New Haven. We know that they can
be fun and fulfilling. We started a list of interested couples
at the Center's reading of Together Forever and are inviting
others to join us. This first potluck will be at our home in
Silvermine to see if there is interest here in Fairfield
County for such a group. We are hoping for a
happy connection not readily available from
usual activities; center on socializing as
couples, discussion around a topic, the
thread of our common experience and
food! Call Morgan or PJ at 847-2561
for more information & directions.
-4.-

T NEWS & VIEWS
Creating Change Conference
The first day was a pre-conference gathering of community centers from all
over the country. Did you know that the Loft (the center in White Plains) has
hired an executive director and has signed a ten-year lease for their space?
The first workshop I went to was hosted by a couple from Rhode Island
who narrated how successfully they repealed their sodomy law. It was a
textbook case of how to do grassroots political organizing. They recruited
the disabled community, including the disabled veterans, to drive home their
message that outlawing the abominable and detestable crime against nature
affected not only the lgbt community.
None of the plenaries had a single charismatic speaker giving a rousing
speech, as in past years. The model instead was a series of brief, closely
timed presentations from a number of speakers. The first night we heard
from Linda Chavez Thompson, a labor leader whose topic was merging
personal politics with "the movement'' without getting totally corrupted in
the process. The following day we heard from Patricia Ireland and Byron
Rushing, a Massachusetts state rep whose district included the South End of
Boston, where a great concentration of gays live. They had been fighting the
good fight for a very long time. Patricia Ireland was charming; relating on
her battles with the Promise Keepers. Her biggest laugh came with a line
about being celibate by choice or chance. This touched a chord among
members of the audience who put off getting laid in favor of grassroots
political organizing.
Byron Rushing's lecture was on how the Constitution' s "we the people" did
not by any means include all the people when originally written. It has, over
the centuries, been expanded to include more and more of the people. His
point was glbt people are becoming part of we the people.
Another workshop I attended was on the response to homosexuality by major
religions. What struck me the most there were the stories of what happened
to gay Muslims when they tried to organize. The first group, composed of
Iranian exchange students in San Francisco in the late 70s, were sent back to
Iran after the fall of the Shah, where they were assassinated at the airport.
Nothing more was attempted for almost 15 years. Then, in the early 90s, a
group sprung up in Toronto. They were so harassed they disbanded a year
later. The Muslims organized by means of listserv, which provided them
with a level of safety that their equally courageous predecessors, did not
have.
Warren Blumenfeld has amalgamated his keen interest in the intersection of
anti-Semitism and homophobia into a slide show that was the topic of another
workshop I attended. He showed side-by-side two cartoons, one from the
Nazi Germany propaganda machine and the other done by Oregon Citizens
Alliance, a rabid anti-gay group active in the mid 90s. They looked like the
same artist had done them and furthermore; the placement of the figures in
both was identical. (I confess to secretly smiling at an image of a Jewish man
surrounded by two loosely dressed Christian women - as the straight
Catholic girl I am, who has more than her share of crushes on Jewish men
during my life)_
I would be remiss if I did not mention two items, that kept coming up in
both the speeches and comments. The first was the D' Amato endorsement
by the Human Rights Campaign and the second was the Millennium March
and how it is being organized. I attended a raucous meeting to air opinions
on the March. It was remarkably civil, until a Stonewall veteran started
personally attacking one of the moderators. People are not happy with how
the March is being organized and a number of people have created an Ad
Hoc Committee for an Open Process in response. -Marianne Seggerman

Men"s Rap Group
Needs Facilitator
The Thursday Men's Rap
Group is: in great need of
a facilitator. Come and be
a part ot this: thr[l.dng group.
For information call John
at (203) 389-7381.

Lesbian Lit Group
For their January 5th meeting, the Lesbian Literature Group has
chosen the novel, "Long Time Passing (Lives of 01
sbians)"
(Allison Publications) for discussion. The book,
• y Marcey
Adelman, is filled with true stories of wo
the 1940s
and 1950s,
led the way for the
followed.
book are
-'
at local bookstores
nH~n1fuol""tirst Tuesday of each
and libraries.
.,.,..~"''""or more information call
month at TCC be
Christine at (203) 847-8476.

1r~ Coloro, '"'· ai,d t:t,ildrcm 'f'ront tf,c! S!,adow:; Pre&cmt:;:
Children From the Shadows VI
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Conference
It Takes a Vlttage to Raise Us Too
University Of Hartford, West Hartford, CT
March 19 and 20, 1999
OVER 40 WORKSHOP
CHOICES PER DAY!

WORKSHOPS TAILORED TO
MEET YOURNEEDS

PROFESSIONAL LEVEL WORKSHOPS AND PRESENTATION.S

TEACHERS, SOCIAL WORKERS
AN.D GUIDANCE COUNSELORS

FACILITATED DISCUSSIONS
PROFESSIONAL ROUND-TABLES
YOUTH LED DISCUSSIONS AND.
ACTIVITIES

PSYCHOLOGISTS, THERAPISTS
AND ct.lNICIANS
SCHOOL AND AGENCY ADMINISTRATORS
GSA AND DIVERSITY GROUP

MUSIC ANO ENTERTAINMENT
RESOURCE ROOM
NATIONALLY KNOWN. PRESENTERS/ LGBT YOUTK EXPERTS

Donations Needed

MEMBERS
PEER· COUNSELORS

COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY
BiGAYLaS

~----·-----·-·---·----·--·--------------- --------------------------·'

Please helP the homeless.
Donate Your used clothine to
TCC. To make arraneements
drop Off call the Center at 8530600 and leave a messaee for
Noel.

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t:Al.1.: 1--aa&-51i5-5551
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:\Tout!, and J-'ull-1~ St1.1deom, $6 for one clay or $20 for bot!,:
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Adult: $4S for or,e da,i or $ti0 for &otl,
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Sc!,olar&!,ipo ar,d Worf.I ~x,l,ar,ge& Available
'

'----------------------------------------------------·
-5-

T NEWS & VIEWS
Pool Policy in W. Hartford Discriminates

Connecticut News
'Caring for Pets' Special License Plates
Animal lovers can now help their furry friends by purchasing
a new commemorative license plate.
,
Proceeds from the sale of the special "Caring
for Pets" plates will go to the state's animal
population control program, which neuters,
spays and vaccinates animals.costs are $135
for a vanity plate, $70 to transfer a current
plate number to the new plate and $50 for a
randomly assigned number. The license plates, which feature
a dog and a cat, will cost an extra $15 for a two-year
registrationrenewal. Theanimalcontrolprogramwillget$10
of that fee.

I

Equality Begins at Home
Equality Begins at Home is a national campaign to strengthen,
unite, and promote equality for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender communities at the state level. During the week of
March 21-27, 1999, communities in each state and territory across
the country will engage in an unprecedented week of nationally
coordinated actions designed to draw attention to the critical need
to organize at the state and local level to fight the stepped up
attacks from the right and to achieve equality.
Political momentum has shifted to the states. Connecticut
organizers have taken up the challenge to participate with the
other states in this unique set of actions. An initial meeting was
held early in December and the brainstorming began. The probable
outcome of this phase is the adoption of some kind of
proclamation/resolution for groups to sign; a concrete set of
legislative demands (although Connecticut already has both a gay
rights bill and gays are included in the hate crimes bill); and a
moving exhibit that will travel from city to city during the
conference week. Hopefully, local activists and the media will greet
the exhibit in each city it visits. Its finale is a triumphant entrance
into Hartford. Others ideas floating around during the meeting
involved a specially designed flower arrangement and something
involving Governor Rowland (whether he like it or not). The
National Lesbian and Gay Task Force is offering $5,000 to each
state to help fund their ideas.
Equality Begins at Home is sponsored by the Federation of
Statewide LGBT Political Organizations and the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force. The Connecticut Coalition for LGBT Civil
Rights strongly encourages all to participate in actions in our state!
For more information on Equality Begins at Home in CT, contact
Pura Gomez, 860-225-7445, PIWings@aol.com or visit the EBaH
web site at www.equalitybeginsathome.org.

Five West Hartford families announced filed discrimination complaints
with the Connecticut Commission on Human Rights and
Opportunities claiming that they have been denied family
memberships at the town Cornerstone pool based on their sexual
orientation and/ or marital status. They join another gay couple, Barry
Amos and Andy O'Brien who have already filed a complaint with
CHRO. The Council addressed the issue at three meetings from
February to July and consistently denied the same rates to domestic
partners. The Council has been polarized along party lines with the
Republican majority refusing to extend the family membership beyond
"two married (as defined by Connecticut State law) adult parents or a
single parent and dependent children under age 21 (if any)."
The five West Hartford families applied to the Cornerstone Aquatic
Center for family memberships and were denied due to not being
married. By being denied the family rate, the families would be
required to pay an additional $205. - $325. per family, depending on
family size, for memberships at the pool.
Attorney Maureen Murphy, who is representing the families, explained
that "this is exactly the type of blatant discrimination that our nondiscrimination statutes in Connecticut were designed to prevent. We
feel confident that the Commission on Human Rights and
Opportunities will enforce these families' rights so that they, too, can
enjoy equal access to the benefits the Town of West Hartford provides."
Barry Zitser, one of the plaintiffs, is an attorney and will be assisting
Attorney Murphy.
Phil Tegeler, Legal Director of the Connecticut Civil Liberties Union,
was present at the press conference to indicate CCLU's commitment
to providing support for the families' complaints.
Richard Stillson, Co-Chair of the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian,
Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil Rights said that this is a basic
issue of civil rights and that all families should be accorded equal rights
and fees for town services.
"The Town has set up an eligibility criterion which it knows same-sex
families cannot meet," said Mary Bonauto in a press statement from
GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders).

AIDS transmission comparison
HIV st.atii:tics in Stamford .as: of June 30, 1gga: 558 c.asu/1,&JO estim.ated HfV infected

Bisexua-Vgay
ma-le

%
lntraveneous drug
user QDU)

51 Yo

Gay/b-is.exual

male and lDU

KEY

[Ed. note: Marianne Seggerman contributed to this article.]

----+---+---+--+--+-1D

Yale-New Haven Mobile Mammography Van
The Yale-New Haven Hospital mammography van will visit
twelve cities in New Haven and Fairfield Counties to perform
breast cancer screening mammography. One in every eight women
men will learn she has breast cancer at some time in her life.
Mammography is still the best known method in early detection
of breast cancer.
To make it convenient for women the entire process takes less
than 15 minutes. To schedule an appointment, or for information,
call the Yale-New Haven mammography office Monday through
Friday 8 AM to 4 PM at (203) 688-1752.
-6-

us

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------f~~~~~~~:J_J ID Stamford
Trans1us.ion

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Property of the Center

TNEWS & VIEWS
There Are Matthew Shepards in Connecticut

Crucifixion!

I had the pleasure of representing GLSEN Connecticut at a vigil in honor
of Matthew Shepard in Westport in November. I would like to share my
thoughts on this tragic situation. My name is Leif Mitchell and I am a
Board Member of the Connecticut Chapter of GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian
and Straight Education Network). GLSEN is the only national
organiz.ation working to end anti-gay bias in K-12 schools. We strive to
assert that each member of every school community is valued and
respected regardless of sexual orientation. GLSEN Connecticut expresses
profound regret over the death of Matthew Shepard. I also feel sorry for
Matthew's killers. We view this tragedy as a major failure of the
educational system: our schools simply failed to prepare Matthew's
killers to live in a world where gay and lesbian people live, learn, and
go to work with everyone else. Our schools failed to teach these young
men to respect and value those different from themselves. The tragedy
in Wyoming is a logical expression of these failures. The culture of
intolerance toward lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGB1) people
that led to this attack was nurtured by school communities that have
systematically failed to address and end anti-gay bias.
Our schools here in Connecticut are failing as well. There are Matthew
Shepards in Connecticut. This is not the first time, or the last, that
something like this is going to happen. I received a message from a young
lesbian student the other day that read, "Sometimes I feel so alone. That's
the way I have been feeling lately. Like I'll break down in tears and I
don't know why. I'm so confused." Did you know that a student in
Madison, CT was harassed so much that his parents had to move him to
another school district? Did you know that the former school district is
paying for the student's schooling in the other district because they failed
to protect them?
We hope that Matthew Shepard's tragedy serves as a wake-up call to
students, parents, teachers, and concerned citizens. We are not meeting
the needs of our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. Any time
we talk about school safety, we need to address violence against LGBT
youth. In an age when most schools have instituted 'zero tolerance
policies' on racial and ethnic slurs,'faggot' and' dyke' are still the insults
of choice. The average high school student hears anti-gay epithets twentyfive times a day, and ninety-seven percent of the time, teachers fail to
respond. When compared to their heterosexual peers, lesbian and gay
youth are three to four times more likely to be threatened with a weapon
in school.
Enacting hate crime laws is an absolute necessity. However, creating a
world in which no lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender youth has to
fear for his or her physical well-being will require a commitment to end
anti-gay bias in our schools. You might think schools in our area aren't
homophobic ...aren' t racist. It's one thing to think this and another to be
actively working against racism, sexism, heterosexism, anti-Semitism,
ableism, lookism, and classism.
Did you know that days before Matthew was attacked, a court in Hawaii
sentenced the murderer of a gay man to a simple misdemeanor offense,
with a maximum sentence of one year?
Did you hear about the murder of the abortion doctor, Dr. BamettSlepian,
who was gunned down in New York in front of his children, or the 7
year old black girl who was raped by a white teenager in Las Vegas
while the perpetrator's friend watched guard? In June, James Byrd, a
Texas man, was beaten and dragged behind a truck until he died because
he was black?
The culture of intolerance that led to these attacks is nurtured by school
communities that have systematically failed to address and end bias in
all its forms. We should not be surprised by these horrific tragedies when:
1. Religious conservatives spend over half a million dollars on ads saying
homosexuals recruit and molest children, and face an early death unless

The hanging of Matthew Shepherd on that fence in Wyoming was described at a
meeting of the Men's Rap Group at the TCC, as a crucifixion. The symbolism is
so appropriate that, whether conscious or not, it had to have an effect on the
general public. The reaction across the nation to the cruel torture and hanging
does resemble Christ's tortured journey while carrying the cross and wearing
the crown of thorns (crushed skull), including the long time between the actual
nailing to the cross and His and Matthew's dying.
In the case of Matthew Shepherd one might ask, "Who represents Pontius Pilater'
That dishonor could easily belong to the Fallwells, the Pat Robertsons and the
other blindly accepting followers of the Christian Right (Though, I can't see them
as either Christian or right). These thoughtless followers and the political vultures
parroting them, hope to garner monetary contributions and/ or votes. These votes
are bought at the expense of the blood and lives of people they find as easy
targets for their agendas. Pilate, succumbing to the demands of the mob,
sentenced Christ to death and then washed his hands thus declaring himself
blameless and without guilt. How much do the hypocritical religious leaders,
hiding in the pages of the Bible, declare themselves blameless of the attacks on
members of the gay community? They actually place the blame of these attacks
on the aggrieved rather than themselves. Those attacked, say the Christian Right,
bring the attacks on themselves because they do not have the right mind set.
They conveniently forget and/ or ignore the fact that Christ preached Love and
understanding. Instead, they condone, if not incite, hate and murder with the
self-righteous, frenzied beating of their breasts on their way to earning their seat
in heaven. Perhaps they wish to usurp Christ's position on the right side of God.
How many suicides of young, frightened and impressionable gays and lesbians
can be laid at the feet of those who incessantly damn and condemn these young
people? Who do we fault when parents disown their gay child, now wandering
the streets, trying to survive in an alien, degrading world? Who do we fault
when gays, fearing the consequences ofleaving the "closet'', feel forced to choose
separation rather than rejection and condemnation by those who should have
protected them? Gays, who prefer to remain silent rather than being thrown out,
think that they retain some semblance, however tremulous, of self worth. Where
can they find shelter and solace, understanding and compassion, in a world
enslaved by too many hate oriented religious cults?
On December 7th, PBS aired the "Battle of the Bulge" and "D" Day with their
horrific loss of life and the little that it seemed to matter to anyone concerned or
involved. For the first time Americans were being shown soldiers sitting on the
frozen dead bodies of German soldiers while eating their lunch. Even though
we are aware of such actions on both sides, years have dulled the pictures in our
conscience almost to the degree that it seems as if it never happened. I hope that
this will not be true of what Matthew Shepherd suffered. The killing of an
individual does not always result in just his/her dying. There are other deaths,
longer lasting, less desirable and more painful. That chamber of love and affection
that we reserve for the special people in our lives is now cold and barren. Never
forgotten, but .... never to be occupied again. Was the "Matthew" spark in all of
us also extinguished?
Paul Kowaleski

11

Greenwich Volunteers
PFL.AG o1 Southern Connecticut
is seeking gay, lesbian, bisexual,
ortransgender residents of Greenwich to senie on "lr.lrious town
comrittees. Contact Jeanette
M:iye o1 the .Affirmative Action
..Advisory Cormittee at 869-1138
ext. 102 or 869-5940.

cure.d.,,

2. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott called gay people "diseased,"
comparing them to alcoholics and kleptomaniacs.
3. The House Republican leadership bragged that they "stopped" the
hate crimes bill just days after Matthew Shepard's death.
Quoting from President Clinton at the first annual Hate Crimes Summit
last October, "Let's teach our children before they learn to hate."
Peace be with you all.
-7-

("

T NEWS & VIEWS
Westport's Brook Re-Opens
Four months after hosting what was billed as its final, historic bash,
The Cedar Brook Cafe, the 59 year-old dean of gay bars, has
reopened with a gala, a crowded affair from which many guests
were turned away for lack of space. This marked the end of the
short hiatus from what would otherwise have been the second
longest continuous run of any gay bar in the United States, The
oldest bar, Cafe Lafitte, is in New Orleans.
"I didn't want to see the bar finished/' said new owner and 24-year
patron Clem Bellairs. "The gay community needed the place. The
bar was previously operated by Sean Arena, but when his lease ran
out he closed the cafe and opened a new bar, The Townhouse, on
Wall Sheet in Norwalk.
The owner of the Post Road property and building, Paul Kish, had
originally planned to convert the lot into retail stores, but decided
to give the bar another chance after his plans fell through and Bellairs
made a sentimental protest. "It's pumped and rejuvenated, you can
feel the electricity." he said of Saturday's reception. "Everybody
was very happy and thanking me. But I feel guilty taking credit, it
was strictly a financial move."

1999
NJ /NY /CT
Bisexual
SAVE TH ,S WEEKE",D

February 5-7

Transgender News
American Boyz Hold True Spirit Conference
The American Boyz are pleased to announce the Third Annual True
Spirit Conference to be held at the Best Western Maryland Inn in
Laurel, Maryland from February 26 - 28, 1999. This three day
conference focuses on the social, physical, emotional, spiritual and
relational health of all gender variant people on the FfM spectrum
and their significant others, friends, families, and allies.
Workshops and panel presentations to be held during this 3rd
annual event address such topics as: health and transition issues,
relationships, special needs populations, law, politics, employment,
and spirituality. True Spirit 1999 is committed to offering inclusive
programming for young people, people of color and elders. Special
workshops and caucus opportunities will be available for service
providers. Featured speakers include Jude Patton, long term ftm
and health advocate, Kitten Gross, family and transyouth advocate,
and Dr. Michael L. Brownstein, M.D., FACS, ftm surgeon, as well
and many others. Other events of note scheduled for True Spirit
1999 are: authors readings and chat sessions, exhibit hall with
information and merchandise, film festival, and the American Boys
Award Ceremony. Conference registration fee ranges from $60- $80
with work scholarship and housing assistance available on a first
come first serve basis. There are two options for registration: one,
download and complete registration form from the internet at
www.netgsi.com/-listwrangler or two, request a conference flyer
from The American Boyz/True Spirit 1999 at PO Box 1118, Elkton,
MD, 21922-1118.
The American Boyz is an organization for female to male gender
variant people (FfMs) of any orientation, including but not limited
to tomboys, butches, f2ms, transmen, drag kings, masculine females,
crossdressers, intersexuals, and those who support us, including
our Significant Others, Friends, Families and Allies (SOFFAs).
American Boyz, Inc, PO Box 1118, Elkton, MD, 21922-1118.

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T NEWS & VIEWS
National News

Dockers Spotlight Gay Achievements

Gays Don't Earn More
Makers of upscale products from expensive liquors to designer
clothing have for years devised gay marketing strategies based on
one common assumption: Gays typically earn more money than their
heterosexual counterparts. But that stereotype is a fallacy, says a
report released by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and an
influential economics professor at the University of Massachusetts
at Amherst. The report, "Income Inflation: The Myth of Affluence
Among Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Americans," concludes that most
marketing studies have mistakenly focused on upscale gays and do
not accurately reflect the gay population. The study is certain to
surprise marketers nationwide who long presumed that gays are
perfect targets for many upscale products. Marketers estimate gays
and lesbians account for 3% to 6% of the U.S. population and pack
an annual spending wallop of $99 billion to $198 billion. Badgett's
report is based on data amassed from seven other studies, including
a 1998 updating of the 1990 U.S. Census, the Yankelovich Monitor
and the General Social Survey, conducted by the National Opinion
Research Center. All three studies concluded that gay men actually
make 4 % to 7% less than the average heterosexual man.

President Dines with Gays
Thirty-one Gays involved in business and philanthropic endeavors
contributed $401,CXX) to the Democratic National Committee at a
fundraising dinner in Washington, D.C., in which President Clinton
attended as the guest of honor. The event, which called on
contributors to pay $10,CXX) or more per person, pulled in $111,CXX)
more than a similar "Gay" DNC fundraiser one year earlier. At last
year's event, 25 Gays paid a minimum of $10,CXX) each for the
privilege of dining with Clinton.

One of the world's largest clothing manufacturers is courting gay
customers with an advertising campaign linked to charitable
organi2:ations. A special insert for Dockers, the Levi Strauss & Co.
khaki pants brand, highlights the achievements of 10 gay men and
women. The ads focus on the social and creative accomplishments
of the selected actors, writers, advocates and athletes, and appears
in the November issue of Out. The 10 include Olympic gold medallist
Bruce Hayes, photographer Eve Fowler, writer Brad Gooch, and
actors Guinevere Turner, Mitchell Anderson and Wilson Cruz. The
campaign, photographed by Carter Smith, arrives along with an
effort to eradicate homophobia. The company established the
Dockers Khakis Youth United Against Bias Scholarships, which will
send young people to a Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network conference. Dockers Khakis also made a donation to the
Hetrick Martin Institute, which provides care services to gay youth.

Iowa City Is Gay Haven
When Iowa City was ranked 55th on a national magazine's list of
"Best Lesbian Places to Live," the locals didn't get mad, they invited
the editor to visit. The result? low a City received the editor's choice
award from Girlfriends magazine in this year's rankings, which
appear in its December issue. Iowa City resident Robin Butler said
the city hasn't ranked h~gh on previous Girlfriends lists because it
doesn't have a lesbian nightclub. But that's only because Iowa City's
heterosexual community is so accepting of lesbians, she said.
Girlfriends' top 10 cities, based on reader surveys and such factors
as job growth, housing costs and unemployment, are: Long Beach,
Calif.; Seattle, Wash.; Portland, Ore.; Brooklyn, N.Y.; Oakland, Calif.;
Dallas, Texas; New Orleans, La.; Columbus, Ohio; Provincetown,
Mass.; and Portland, Maine.

PeterScifo

MFAP

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Civil Rights
Employment Law

Title IX
-9-

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Family Law
"Lesbian & Gay "Legal Rigl1ts

T NEWS & VIEWS
8% Increase in Anti-Gay Hate Crimes

Gay Bridge Tournament

An 8 percent increase in reported hate crimes against gays and
lesbians in 1997 was among the statistics released by the Federal
Bureau of Investigations (FBI) Uniform Crime Reporting Program.
This increase is particularly troubling since overall serious crime
continues its decrease. The FBI report, released Sunday, Nov. 22,
found that 1,102 crimes targeting people because of their sexual
orientation were committed in 1997. This was an eight percent
increase over the 1,016 bias-motivated incidents reported to the FBI
in 1996. In 1995, the FBI reported 1,019 hate crimes based on sexual
orientation.
Currently, only 21 states and the District of Columbia include sexual
orientation in their state hate crimes statutes. Eighteen states have
hate crimes laws that do not include sexual orientation, and eight
states have no hate crimes statutes whatsoever. Three states have
laws that are unclear.

Announcing the First Annual North
American Gay Bridge Tournament to be
held in St. Petersburg, Florida March 5 - 7,
1999. The tournament will be hosted at the
Suncoast Resort Hotel, the world's largest
gay resort with 120 rooms, 34 retail shops,
6 bars, 2 restaurants, a gym, a pool, 2
sandlot volleyball courts and 10 tennis
courts. Located at 3000 34th Street South
(US Highway 19) it is only minutes away
from Fort Desoto Beach, rated one of the
top ten beaches in the world.
This event was inspired by the bridge
event at Gay Games V in Amsterdam in
August 1998. With 352 participants from around the world, it was
the first and largest gay bridge event of it's kind. Team Tampa Bay
decided to go ahead with plans for this event. Team Tampa Bay was
formed in 1997 to organize athletes to go to Gay Games V in
Amsterdam, and also to foster more gay athletic events in the Tampa
Bay area. The bridge tournament is their first effort.
The American Contract Bridge League (ACBL} has given the
tournament a sectionlll rating. Masters points will be awarded,
however you do not need to be a member of ACBL to play. The
tournament is open to anyone. Friday evening a charity pairs event
will be played, with the proceeds to benefit the Federation of Gay
Games. Saturday will be a two-session open pairs event, and Sunday
will be a two-session swiss team event. A partnership table will be
available to match players up into pairs and teams.
For more information you can contact Jerry Keeran, the tournament
organizer, at 813-258-6274, or via e-mail at jkeeran@cftnet.com Team
Tampa Bay can be reached at 727-867-8855, or via e-mail at
teamtampa@aol.com. Their address is P.O. Box 21552, St. Petersburg,
FL 33742-1552.

A Question of Commitment
Craig Gibson and H. Leslie Brown
made Washington Post history a few
weeks ago. The Post published a paid
Style section announcement that the
two men had been "joined in Holy
Union" at the Universalist National
Memorial Church. In changing its
policy by accepting the paid notice, the
paper waded into the controversy over
publishing word of same-sex commitment ceremonies. But The Post
will not run such notices on the wedding announcement page.
Stephen Hills, the paper's vice president for advertising, says The
Post acted in response to "periodic complaints" and "strongly held
feelings about the lack of a place to have [same-sexJannouncements."
But the wedding page "is a place where we have always published
legally recognized marriages, and we decided to keep it that way,"
he says.
- ~ r a Ion Posl

ALDIS

Maria C. Castillo, MSW, LCSW

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203/256-3839

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Norwalk, CT 06854
(203) 854-4805

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-10-

T NEWS & VIEWS
MD - Insurance Extends Domestic Coverage

State by State News
Saying they didn't want same-sex marriages performed in their
churches, Southern Baptists in Georgia voted yesterday to' exclude
congregations that "endorse" homosexuality. The Rev. J. Gerald
Harris, president of the denomination's state convention, said
Southern Baptists welcome gay individuals but can't allow churches
to advocate their behavior. Delegates voted to warn churches they
should not knowingly take any action to affirm, approve or endorse
homosexual behavior if they want to remain in the convention, the
denomination's second largest in the nation behind Texas.

A Baltimore couple's challenge to state insurance regulations has
opened the door for greater opportunities for gay men and lesbians
to get health-care coverage for domestic partners through their
employers. On Oct. 21, the state regulatory body, the Maryland
Insurance Administration (MIA), issued a bulletin lifting what had
been a state regulation barring the extension of large-group
workplace health insurance to family members "not related by blood,
marriage, or adoption." The state Health Care Access and Cost
Commission (HCACC), which oversees small-group coverage (for
companies with 50 or fewer employees), has recommended that its
commissioners follow in MIA' s footsteps .
[NOTE: That approval was granted on Nov. 12.]

IL - Gays Protest

ME - Gays Seek Referendum In 2000

Forty to 50 gay rights activists marched outside the Cook County
Building in Chicago, chanting and carrying signs protesting Illinois'
ban on same-sex marriage. The demonstrators called on Gov.-elect
George Ryan to push for changes in the law. Ryan opposes samesex marriage but has said he would support making sexual
orientation a class protected from discrimination under the Human
Rights Act. After the march, 10 couples tried to obtain marriage
licenses but were turned down.

Less than a year after Maine voters repealed a law to bar
discrimination against homosexuals, gay rights supporters are
pushing for another statewide referendum in November 2000. At a
meeting attended by about 70 people, including several legislators
and members of gay and lesbian organizations, there was
overwhelming agreement that the time was right to ask the
Legislature to re-enact a gay rights law. Michael Heath, executive
director of the Christian Civic League of Maine, said that his
organization would actively oppose any attempt to re-enact a gay
rights law.

GA - Southern Baptists Address Homosexuality

IL - Phelps Supporters Strikes Again
For the second time since Nov. 22, supporters of a Southern Baptist
preacher confronted gay-rights activists outside a Lakeview church.
Rev. Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church, based in Topeka, Kan.,
appeared in Chicago last month to protest the marriage of two gay
men by the pastor of the Broadway United Methodist Church. Phelps
did not appear in person, but at least a half dozen of his relatives
and supporters did. The preacher's absence did not stop about 200
gay-rights activists and other Lakeview residents from spending
hours shouting at each other across police barricades.

Ml - House Passes Measure to Protect Gays
The Michigan House has passed an amendment to the state's "hate
crime" law that would include II sexual orientation" among the bias
motivations designated in the law. The vote recalls House action
taken over ten years ago to protect crime victims who are targeted
based on sexual orientation bias. The measure may now be taken
up by the Senate and could become law by the end of this session.
A broad coalition of groups had come together to advocate the bill.

1

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T NEWS & VIEWS
NY - Date Bait

OR - Ban On Gay Job Discrimination

Steven Prescott, was braving Date Bait, a brutally efficient, hightech mixer that tries to ease the sting of face-to-face rejection by using
a computer to make matches. Created two years ago, Date Bait has
become a huge draw among gay men in their 30s and 40s, and the
Saturday night events, held at A Different Light bookstore on West
19th Street, are often so crowded that dozens are turned away at the
door. So far, Risemberg says, his matchmaking method has produced
4,837 dates, although he does not track how many of those led to
second dates.
Date Bait affairs couldn't be less fussy: identified with a nametag
and three-digit number, participants sit on chairs that are arranged
in a square. After each person has stood and delivered a brief
description of himself, the seats are cleared for 45 minutes of
ferocious mingling. The mixing done, participants turn to their score
cards and begin shading in the ovals that correspond to the numbers
worn by the prospects who appeal to them. Then comes a nervous
20-minute wait as the forms are fed into a scanner, which tabulates
and coldly spits out pairs of matching numbers.

An Oregon court has done what state lawmakers have been
unwilling to do for years - ban discrimination against homosexuals
in the workplace. The Court of Appeals has ruled that the domestic
partners of three lesbian employees at Oregon Health Sciences
University were entitled to the same benefits given to the spouses
of married employees. The "denial of insurance benefits to the
unmarried partners" of homosexual employees violated the equal
protection provisions of the Oregon Constitution, the three-judge
panel wrote. Though the university and Oregon state government
voluntarily began offering benefits to unmarried partners last June,
the court ruling nailed down the obligations. The ruling could require
other state government entities to provide benefits to same-sex
domestic partners, and to the thousands of teachers, police officers
and others who work for local governments. Private employers
were not specifically required under the ruling to offer the benefits.

NY - Pataki Administration Makes Grants
The Empire State Pride Agenda Foundation is regarding the
allocations to 11 community groups, totalling $1 million as an historic
acknowledgment by an administration in Albany that the needs of
gays and lesbians extend well beyond
AIDS. The grants, ranging from $50,000 to
$125,000, are the first of their kind in New
York for non-AIDS related programs
within the homosexual community. The
money will be spent on programs to
identify homosexual youths at risk of suicide, of drug or alcohol
abuse, of dropping out of school and other problems and getting
them help. Each of the groups is well aware of the longer-term
significance of the state grants. Once a continuing program receives
state funding, the odds become better that that program will keep
getting money each year from Albany.

UT- Judge Rules for Lesbian Teacher
A federal judge has ruled in favor of a high school teacher who
claimed she was fired as volleyball coach because she is a lesbian.
Wendy Weaver said Spanish Fork High School officials violated her
rights with a gag order that prevented her from talking with students
or staff about her sexual orientation, even outside of school. Judge
Bruce Jenkins agreed that her rights of free speech, equal protection
and due process were violated. He ordered the school district to
offer Weaver the coaching position, lift the gag order and give her
$1,500 in damages. The Weaver case has attracted national attention
because of the precedent it could set for how public schools treat
homosexual teachers and coaches.

Trivia
Answer to December - Bridgeport, Connecticut
Question for January - In August of 1989 a young man from
Whitesburg, Georgia named Arthur Ray Denson held a news
conference at the Cotswold Inn in Westport. What was his news
conference announcing?
(203) 256-4565
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New Haven, CT 06511
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2150 POST ROAD, FAIRFIELD, CT 06430

Especially serving the Gay and Lesbian COfflfflllnily

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MICHAEL

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CT 06877 • 203-431-8278
-12-

·T NEWS & VIEWS
VT - Supreme Court Hears Case
When Nina Beck went into labor and frightening complications
developed, her lesbian partner, Stacy Jolles, tried to go into the
emergency room with her. But she was stopped at the door, she
said, and asked, "Who are you? Do you have legal papers to be
there?" Ms. Beck's son, Noah, was born with a heart defect, and
died last year at age 2. But, Ms. Jolles said today, "Noah is very
much here with us today. He would want us very much to be
married, and he would want us to pursue this to the end." She spoke
in the lobby of the Vermont Supreme Court on the day that Vermont
became the central arena in the United States for the push for
marriage between people of the same sex.
Hawaii seemed positioned to become the first state to legalize
samesex marriage after a 1993 state Supreme Court preliminary
decision leaning in its favor; then an Alaska court case seemed to
put that state next in line. But in this month's elections, Alaskan and
Hawaiian voters rejected the idea in ballot initiatives.
So now, it is Vermont's turn. The court is expected to rule within
months. Vermont's legislature has passed extensive laws protecting
gay men and lesbians from discrimination, and the state has been in
the vanguard on recogrupng "second-parent adoptions": allowing
the member of a gay or lesbian couple who is not the biological
parent of a child to officially become its second parent. But Vermont's
Supreme Court has not been easily categorized as liberal or
conservative. And the state, though known as home to a liberal,
back-to-the-land contingent, also has a strong streak of
traditionalism. So no one is making confident prediction about when,
if ever, same-sex marriage will be allowed here.
Sources
A Question - Wash Post, Nov. 23
Dockers - Dallas News, Nov. 18
Travel - Florida -Sentinel, Nov. 24
Gays Don't Earn - USA Today, Dec. 3
IL - Protest - Oucago Ttmes, Nov. 28
IL - Phelps - Oucago Tribune, Dec. 7
Iowa City - Des Moines Regis., Nov. 30
Movie - Boston Globe, Dec. 5

MD - Ins. -Baltimore City, Nov. 18
NY - Date Bait -NYTtmes, Dec. 6
OR - Ban -Phila Inquire, Nov. 13
President -Wash Blade, Dec. 4
Stamford -Advocate, Nov. 17
Standing -Advocate (mag}, Dec. 8
VT - Supreme, NYTtmes, Dec. 6
Westport's Brook-The Hour-Nov. 23

Media News
Lesbian Movie Spurs India Melee
When Sidheshwar Dayal saw his 700-seat movie theater in
downtown New Delhi packed day after day, he regretted booking
"Fire" for just three weeks. Then, on the last day of its screening, 20
men and women armed with bars stormed into the theater, smashed
ticket windows, busted food counters, and slashed billboards. The
protesters shouted that the award-winning tale of lesbian romance
is vulgar and must be banned. Fearful of similar attacks, other movie
theaters in the Indian capital withdrew the film. "Fire" marks the
first time that India's conservative censor board has given the green
light to a movie that tackles a taboo subject here, homosexuality. In
"Fire," the scene that most scandalized protesters shows the leading
actresses passionately kissing. What irks critics most is that the allIndian cast articulates a fact of life that middle-class Indians know
exists, but is seldom discussed in this patriarchal society. All Bombay
cinemas suspended screenings after the incidents. Movie theaters
in two other cities withdrew the film because of threats. Abroad,
"Fire" was banned in Singapore and Kenya, where there are large
Indian communities. The film was a box-office success in Europe
and the United States. In New York last year, moviegoers formed
lines that twisted around the block to see it.

Gay Travel Network
A new California firm called Access Alliance
offers customized travel planning and other
services for gays and lesbians. For an annual
fee of $20, the firm makes referrals to travel
agents who can recommend gay-friendly
domestic and international destinations,
hotels, resorts, car rentals and cruises. Ongoing perks for members
(who don't have to be gay) include dining, skiing and rental-car
bonuses. New members also get a discount of up to $100 on air travel,
usable on most major carriers. For more information, call 800-6932349.

MICHAEL G. SAAD, MA, LCSW

Visit our Web site at: http://members.aol.com/TCCenter/

LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER

Triangle Community Center

COUNSELING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
FOR ADULTS, ADOLESCENTS, COUPLES, FAMILIES

Norwalk,CT

ff
6527 MAIN STREET
TRUMBULL, CT 06611

''Many H,arts, O,u UJ11111l111t1Jy •

ff

Serving the lesbian/gay/bi/tg community oE southwestern Connecticut

BY APPOf NTMENT
(203) 459-1666

MICHAEL D. ROME
Attorney-at-Law
PIRRO, CHURCH & COOK, LLC

Bankruptcy
Business Transactions
Social Security Disability
Divorce

Personal lnjurylAccident Law
Real Estate Transactions
Criminal
Taxation: Business & Individual

Worker's Compensation

Estate Planning & Probate

Michelle C. Loris, Psy.D.
Individual, Couple and Group Therapy

120 EAST A VENUE
NORWALK, CONNECTICUT 06851
Phone:(203) 259-6785 or (203) 853-6677

Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
-13-

(203) 255-2767
By Appointment

T NEWS & VIEWS
UGWllllltt
Oall 853-81101111th YO ■ r dnatlo ■.

QuiakBaak1f■r1P0

al
lrf:_

~

Being a gay man or lesbian today can stir up many
important issues. And sometimes you need to talk to
someone who understands. For over a decade, I have
helped gay men and women understand themselves
better and take hold of their lives. I can help you now
to build new focus in your life, and grow into your
strengths and unique character. Please call me at
(203) 454-1549 for a complimentary consultation, and
find out how you can overcome your problems and get
a new outlook on life.

Expert Help For

Many Issues:
• Comingout
• Sett-esteem
• Relationships
• Dating
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lB

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an

New York, NY
Member: National Association
of Social Workers

infection

men, women, children

PLAY SAFE

::.- Kurt.SRer!~~:~CSW_; • •

Licensed: State of Connecticut

STAMFORD HEALTH DEPARTMENT
AIDS PROGRAM
HIV ANTIBODY TESTING

•• • •. • ···_'Jff~~doumlife'spath

MS: Columbia University,

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Paul Thury
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Office: 203.846.1611 ext. 218
Res: 203.847.5621
Fax: 203.857.7842
E-mail: pthury@aol.com

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I hove the marketing tools necessary to offer
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Solemn Eucharist - Sundays at 10:15

For a free market analysis to determine the value of
your home, a "Why Rent When You Can Own" brochure, or a copy of my home tips newsletter

with organ, choir, and splendid music

Call Paul Thury-203.846.1611 ext. 218

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Realty

Office: (203) 847-2806
-14-

il[l~l l ~il i l ~~l~l i '~lil li[l~l l lil\'illi"'

Univl11

T NEWS & VIEWS

v,,

Property of the Center

M 001 111 383
TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INC.
P.O. BOX 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855
TeJ/Fax: (203) 853-0600
e-mail TCCenter@aol.com

TELEPHONE DIRECTORIES
GROUPS MEETING AT OR SPONSORED BY TCC
A.A. - Don 762-9964
Bi Rap Group - Peter 838-2806; Robin 855-8646
35+ Women's Pot Lucks - Judy 227-7162
Free Association of Fairfield County-Bruce 782-1496
Gay Men's Rap Group - Dave 838-1881
Gmosaic (People of Color) - Nasheed 854-7726
Lesbian Literature Reading Group - Christine 847-8476
Out & About (20's & 30's) - Heather 924-2930, Ashley 576-1073
or Dan 838-2367
OutSpoken (Youth)-Perry & Sara 846--4569; Dan 227-1755;
Doug 838-2367
P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays) Joan 544-8724; Lester 322-5380; Belinda 855-1203
P-FLAG Spouses & Ex Spouses Group - Joan 544-8724
Triangle Bowling League (Circle Lanes, Fairfield) - Lisa 333-3113;
Roseann 931-8789
Women's Rap Group - Chandra 226-8652; Linda 866--4598;
Michele 438--4465
Writer's Group- Mona 863-1553
All meetings are held at the Center and in the evening unless
otherwise noted. A $3 donation per person is appreciated with your
participation in activities to help support the Center.

OTHER AREA GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS
Bare & Gay (B&G) gay nudists
(203) 330-9595
Bisexually Curious Support Group Bpt
(203) 264-5605
Chiltern Mountain Club
(203) 899-0270
Connecticut Kids and Families
(203) 256-8414
Connecticut Freedom to Marry Coalition
(203) 791-9553
40-Up Club Social Group
(203) 238--4069
Gay Fathers Group
(203) 866-7051
Gay Mens Association of Danbury
(203) 778-7016
GEMS (Mature GLBT)
(860) 688-1881
GuideLine (gay/lesbian phone info)
(203) 366-3734
Hartford Community Center
(203) 724-5542
Married Men's Bisexual Suppt Grp Htfd
(203) 262,1555
Metropolitan Community Church
(203) 389-6750
Rainbow Task Force (Unitarian Church)
(203) 222-1441
Transgendered Resource - Kaylen
(203) 661-2448
The Loft, White Plains NY,
(914) 948--4922
Triangle Bowling League
(203) 931-8789
Triangle Kids
(203) 323-6278 & (203) 255-6229
Western Connecticut Gay Men's Group
(203) 773-9947
Call (203) 964-1133 for free listing.

WHERE ARE WE? The Triangle Community Center Inc. is
located at 25 Van Zant Street in Norwalk. From 1-95, take
Exit 16 and go south (from Stamford, turn right; from New
Haven, turn left). Continue south under the railroad bridge
and turn right on Van Zant St. (Route 136). 25 Van Zant is a
large condominium office building on the right. TCC is in
Suite 7-C on the ground floor. Tel. (203) 853-0600.

Deadline for the February Newsletter is Saturday, January
19th • We cannot gaurantee that material received after this
date will be included in the February News & Views.

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
DON BUXTON.................... President
DENYSE BURKE ..................Vice-President
JOHN WALLACE ............... .Treasurer
MEG BACHTEL.. ................. Corresponding Secretary
DAVE CARROLL.. ............... Recording Secretary
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
MEG BACHTEL
JIM BRIDGE
DON BUXTON
DENYSE BURKE
DAVE CARROLL
KAREN JASTERMSKY
MICHELE STONE
JOHN WALLACE

(203) 375-9020
(203) 847-3268
(203) 762-9964
(203) 367-3911
(203) 838-1881
(203) 853-0600
(203) 964-1133
(203) 389-7381

STANDING COMMITTEES
AIDS Liaison
Tom M
Board Development Vacant
Communications
John D
-Public Relations
Mike C
Finance
John W
Fundraising
Jim B
Membership '
Denyse B
-Member Database
Marianne S
Cindy M
Operations
(and to schedule events at the Center)
Program
Dave C
Resource Room
Walter D
-Center Forums
Marianne S
Volunteer
Karen J

374-6934
334-3822
375-3567
261-7349
847-3268
367-3911
222-8294
595-9799
838-1881
374-6934
222-8294
899-0381

NEWS& VIEWS
Is published monthly by
Triangle Community Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855.
NEWS & VIEWS encourages its readers to submit materials of interest
to our community, including short articles, letters to the editor, etc.
We cannot respond to, or publish, anonymous letters. We reserve
the right to edit or conaense as approP,riate to meet space
requirements Authors will be contacfed if major revisions are
necessary. Please submit to:

NEWS&VIEWS
Michele Stone: Editor & Advertising Manager
P.O. Box 8185
Phone/Fax: (203) 964-1133
Stamford, CT 06905
Mike Collins: Publicity
E-mail: NewsViews2@aol.com

Phone: (203) 375-8567

FOR AD RATES PLEASE CONTACT MICHELE STONE:
Ads must be camera-ready. Any ad not camera ready will
be subject to an additional charge. Inserts and special sizes
upon prior agreement. All ads are placed on a space available
basis.
The publication of the name of any person or organiz.ation in articles
or ads in NEWS & VIEWS is not to be construed as any indication of
the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such
organizations. The appearance of advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS
does not imply nor constitute endorsement by TCC, Inc. The views
expressed in this NEWS & VIEWS are not necessarily those of TCC,
Inc. Copyright 1997 by Triangle Community Center, Inc. All rights
reserveed. This work, or any parts thereof, may not be used or
reproduced in any manner without written permission.
-15-

TNEWS & VIEWS
TCC Calendar

January, 1999

Sun

Mon

Tues

Wed

Fri

Thu

2

II
3

4

5

6

AA 9-l0am
OutSpoken 4-6

Women's Rap 7:30

Lesbian Lit 7:30

10

11

12

AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6
TCC Anniversary 2-5

17
AA 9-l0am
OutSpoken 4-6

1:~~~-:4/4

Sat

Women's Rap 7:30

18

TCC Board 7:30
Writer's Group 7:30

19

7

P-FLAG 7:45

20

25

TCC Board 7:30
Writer's Group 7:30

21

28

N&V's Deadline
Nunsense 8

23

Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes
Nunsense 8

29

Men's Rap 7:30

Bi Rap Group 7:30
Spirituality Group 7

16

G-Mosaic 7 :30
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes
Nunsense 8

22

Men's Rap 7:30
Nunsense 8

27

9

Out &About 7:00
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes

15

Men's Rap 7:30

Bi Rap Group 7:30
Spirituality Group 7

P-FLAG Spouses &
Ex-spouses 7:30

26

/ ' " " " " . ' : W.m<"'•R,p730

14

13

Women's Rap 7:30

8

Men's Rap 7:30

Nunsense 8

30

Out & About 7:00
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes

Connecticut Calendar - January
Friday, Jan. 1 - Movie: "Mary Poppins" at the New Haven Gay
and Lesbian Community Center, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven. 6:30
PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 2 - Stephanie's Living Room presents its Holiday
Gala, at the Stratford Ramada Inn, 8:00 PM. Dance admission $10.00;
$5.00 for the physicallychallenged. For more information call 203377-2119.
Friday, Jan. 8 - Movie: "Casablanca" at the NHCLCC, 50 Fitch
Street, New Haven. 6:30 PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Friday, Jan.15 - Movie:" Antonia's Line" at the NHGLCC 6:30 PM
potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 16 - Another Octave/ Connecticut Women's Chorus
presents its annual Spaghetti and Song event, featuring the
Undertones, at the Unitarian Society in Hamden, 6:30 PM. For ticket
info please call 203-271-5284.
Sunday, Jan. 17 - The Gay Men's Book Group will be discussing
Single Man Christopher Isherwood, 7:00 PM, Ridgefield.
Sunday, Jan.17 - Another Octave/Connecticut Women's Chorus
presents its annual Spaghetti and Song event, featuring the
Undertones, at the Unitarian Society in Hamden, 5:30 PM. For ticket
info please call 203-271-5284.
Friday - Sunday, Jan. 22 - 24 - Brothers Together presents A New
Year Retreat For Men Who Love Men, a time for reflection and
connection in a supportive group of men. Cedar Hill Retreat Center,
Duxbury, MA. For more info call 617-247-3964.
Friday, Jan. 22 - Movie: "The Incredible True Story of Two Girls In
Love" at the NHGLCC 6:30 PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 23 - paper tigers, authors of the Matthew Shepard
tribute "Just Like Me", will present their first concert for the Gay
community at the NHGLCC, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven, 8:00 PM.
Reservations strongly encouraged. $10.00 for non-center members,
$7.00 for members,$ 5.00 for students with ID.

Friday, Jan. 29 - Movie: "Moonstruck" at the New Haven Gay and
Lesbian Community Center, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven. 6:30 PM
potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.

-16-

TMEMBERSHIP FORM
MEMBERSHIP LISTS ARE CONFIDENTIAL
NAME

ADDRESS

CnY
PHONE

STATE - - - ZIP

E-MAIL

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Please make check payable to:
Triangle Community Center, Inc. - Membership
P.O. Box 4062 - East Norwalk, CT 0685 5
(203) 853-0600



Property of the Center

Triangle Commun

A

■ e,,,s
Free to Members and Subscribers

VollO, No.1

January 1999

The Triangle Community Center, Inc. a non-profit Connecticut corporation, exists to provide services to give the
lesbian/gay/bisexualjtransgender community a sense of identity, pride and visibility, as well as to work with
the greater Fairfield County community to foster understanding and awareness of !es/bi/gay/trans issues.

"Ho

derf The sisters are br• .rt[
.
r1ous.
,.

',,

- Liz S ■ ith

(•

The Triangle Community Center
presents

''Sen

P:.

ona I!''

-WABC-TV

January 15, 16, 21, 22, & 23, 1999 at 8PM
Norwalk Community Technical College
Performing Arts Center
188 Richards Avenue, Norwalk

..

a"ii1fll!llc

Proud Corporate Sponsors

.

f the proceeds supports

"- RoSES
BR£A00'-r
203-855-1485
•
kets·
'T
For 1c
•
rCard & Visa
A,port1ono

.
00 Maste
$35.00 & $50hoW reception
includes a posts

people's bank

Many Hearts • • • One Community

T NEWS & VIEWS

TCC IS £1GHT YEARS OLD!
@

1989

~

1990

- E~

1991
1993
1999

1\:8~
~

~

They dreamed it.

ff£1P US
C£1£BRAT£!

They planned it.

They opened it.

They moved it.

SUNDAY,
JANUARY 10, 1999
FROM l-5 PM
Refreshments served.

BUT
You make it work.

Imperial Court of Connecticut

Movie Night
TCC will present their next potluck/ movie night
on Sunday, January 17 beginning at 6 PM. Bring
your cute little self and food for four. The movie
this month is "Stonewall". It's one person's vision
of what happened on the first night of the
Stonewall Riot.

The Board of Directors of TCC wishes to extend its heart felt
gratitude to The Imperial Court of
Connecticut for donating the proceeds
from their recent show ($503.00) to TCC.
Their generous support of the Center
especially at this critical juncture in the
Center's life is greatly appreciated.

Nunsense A=Men!
Nunsense A-Men! -- an all new, all male version of the smash play "Nunsense" - is coming to Connecticut. Performances are scheduled for
January 15/16/21/22/23 at 8 PM, at the Norwalk Community Technical College's Performing Arts Theatre. The tickets, selling for $50
and $35, include a post show reception and may be purchased by calling (203) 855-1485. The Norwalk Community Technical College
Performing Arts Center is located at 188
Richards Avenue in Norwalk, on the East
Side, off Connecticut Turnpike (1-95) exit
13.
Nunsense A-Men! Features comedy, gags,
and music. The show's director is Scott M.
Robbins.
The musical director is Stephanie Daumer
and the choreographer is Kathy Hellrigel.
The set designer is Barry Axtell. Patty
Blackwood' s puppet is being featured in
the performances. The Westchester
Broadway Theatre and the Helen Hayes
Theatre of Nyack, NY, are also assisting in
the Norwalk production.

Elliott Arluck, the Norwalk show's producer
said the corporate sponsors include Virgin
Atlantic Airways, People's Bank, and York 168
(168 York Street, New Haven). Additionally, the
hotel Millennium Bailey's of London has
donated a room for two and the Regal UN
Plaza in Manhattan has donated a brunch for
two. These gifts will be awarded as prizes in a
raffle in conjunction with the show.
Proceeds benefit the Triangle Community
Center of East Norwalk and Bread & Roses,
the HIV and AIDS organization in Norwalk
and Georgetown, in Fairfield County.

NUnSense workers !!et the word out!
-2-

T NEWS & VIEWS
TCC News
Splinters from the Board
Allow me to me to introduce myself. My name is James Bridge, and fma
member of the Board of Directors here at the Triangle Community Center.
1n my other life; I'm the assistant to the executive director at Bread & Roses.
lf you don't who and what Bread & Roses is, shame on you. (We provide
services for those infected and affected with HIV/ AIDS, in the Greater
Fairfield County Area.) It is a very rewarding job, and I feel truly blessed to
be there.
The reason I am writing today is that I have recently assumed the mantle of
the Fundraising Chair for the Triangle Corrnnunity Center. It's a great
responsibility, and I don't think I can do it alone. Yes, I need help. I want to
put together a committee. A High Council of Fundraising; if you will. I want
to put the fun back in Fundraising. I know it sounds corny, but if you say so
to my face; I might hit you. I'm taking-this seriously. Here in Fairfield County,
we have an affluent and diverse community. Emphasis on the word
"Affluent". There is no logical reason our center, located in the heart of one
the richest counties of the richest state of the richest country in the world
should be struggling to keep its doors open. Okay, so we're here. You know
we're here, and maybe we're doing something wrong. WE WON'T KNOW
IF YOU DON'T TELL US!
I've been told that if you make it fun, they will come. We already built it,
and they seem to be staying away in droves. So help me out here. Contact
me. Maybe you can join my little committee. Make it a big committee. I
want everybody. Young; not so young; male, female, human, alien, whatever.
lf you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or just have a decent fashion
sense, speak the hell up! My email is Palemonkey@yahoo.com. I'm forming
a committee. A task force. A high frikkin council. I want it to be all-inclusive
and I want it to be fun. For me, for you, for everybody. Now put on your
thinking caps and get to work. Thanks.

Bi Rap Group
Needs Facilitator
Peter & Robin, co-facilitators are
retiring and seek B~f}eople who
would Ike to keep this needed &
important group going. Our lives
have recentty- taken directions that
do not give us the 3nd & 4th Wed.
continuity that is required. Please
do not let this group fade away!
Call Peter at838-2806 or Robin
at 855-8546. We can continue to
facilitate until March. If you love
it, nurture it; please.

Matthew Shepard Vigil in Westport
Nearly 500 people of many faiths and of both gay and heterosexual
orientations attended a special vigil service Sunday evening
November 15, 1998 in Westport for Matthew Shepard, the young
gay college student brutally murdered in a hate crime in Wyoming
in October. The service, held at the Unitarian Church in Westport
and c<:>-sponsored by Temple Israel of Westport, was organized by
Rozanne Gates and Suzanne Sheridan, c<:>-chairs of the Rainbow
Task Force, organized at the church 10 years ago to provide support
for gay and lesbian members. Suzanne and Rozanne opened the
service by faking note of the horrific crime in Wyoming. In
organizing the service they called upon all churches in Connecticut
to be open and affirming toward gays and lesbians.
Special thanks was given to Triangle Community Center president
Donald Buxton for his assistance in the vigil. The Connecticut Gay
Man's Chorus performed and the service ended with a candle
lighting by each of the nearly 500 persons present.
Leif Mitchell, member of the board of directors of the Gay, Lesbian,
and Straight Education Network (GI.SEN), said the incident was
not isolated, "There are Matthew Shepards right here in
Connecticut." Leif said gay students are several times more likely
to be threatened and are three times more likely to commit suicide,
than heterosexual students. He-said the average gay student hears
the word "fag" 25 times a day in school, and that in 97per cent of
the cases, the teacher and school do nothing about it. For the record,
he said "I am not a kleptomaniac," echoing a comment earlier in
the service by the organizers of the vigil, who referred to the
comment by Senator Trent Lott, from Mississippi. Lott compared
homosexuals to kleptomaniacs in an interview on the national
Armstrong Williams show this summer, on the right-wing
America's Voice Network.
Michael Collins, public relations director of the Triangle Community
Center of East Norwalk - the gay and lesbian community center
serving Fairfield County-noted that the right-wing has been wrong
virtually all the time. "In the past two centuries the right wing was
wrong about slavery, wrong in its winning position on Native
Americans, wrong about Jim Crow and segregation, wrong for
bringing us the KKK, wrong for denying women the right to vote,
wrong for opposing child labor laws, wrong for bringing Nazism
to Europe, wrong for bringing us McCarthyism, wrong in its
anti-semitism, wrong for opposing women's rights and for sexism,
on the wrong side of the civil rights movement, and wrong about
homosexuality today." Michael called on gays and lesbians to make
"best efforts" to come out, since the closet is the ultimate tool of the
right wing.
The Triangle Community Center arranged media coverage and
there were reports on Cablevision 12 covering Fairfield County.
WEBE 107.9 in Westport also covered the vigil. The Stamford
Advocate had an article Saturday and Sunday and Monday. The
Connecticut Jewish Ledger based in West Hartford, sent a reporter,
and IN Newsweekly sent a reporter to cover the vigil from
Westbrook, CT. IN Newsweekly is based in Boston and covers gay
and lesbian news for all 6 New England states. The New York T1IDes
had a significant article in its Sunday Connecticut Weekly section.
Some of the musical performances included: Beth Stiles solo on
piano, Cantor Richard Silverman of Temple Israel of Westport, Chris
Coogan performing "Light A Candle", the Connecticut Gay Men's
Chorus, Suzanne Sheridan, Edward Thompson solo on piano and
finally the entire congregation sang: "We Are A Gentle Angry
People" by Holly Near.
Clergy speaking Included Rabbi RobertOrkland of Temple Israel,
the Reverend John Tolley of the Unitarian Church in Westport, the
Reverends Alan Johnson and Martie McMane c<:>-pastors of the
Saugatuck Congregatinal Church, the Reverend Linda Hirst of the
Greens Forms Congregational Church. Also speaking was Sunny
Khadjavi, president of P-FLAG of Norwalk, who said "What
happened to Matthew is the worst nightmare for the parent of a
gay child."
-Michael Collins

T NEWS & VIEWS
Stamford Panel Raises Awareness

Standing on Ceremony

Retired Newtown gym teacher Deann LeBeau said she has heard students
call classmates "faggot" or, "dyke" and watched some teachers who
witnessed the harassment simply tum their backs and ignore it. "I've seen
kids who are afraid to go from one class to another because they don't
know what they'll face as far as degradation or harassment in the hallway,"
said LeBeau, who is gay, at a panel discussion on gay and lesbian issues
at the Stamford Government Center. "Sexual orientation has to be dealt
with in schools." Discrimination against students in the schools based on
their sexual orientation is against the law, and school administrators,
teachers and employees have to be taught that it is not acceptable and
how to deal with it when they see it, Le Beau said. Le Beau was one of four
guest speakers at the sparsely attended discussion, hosted by Stamford
Public Schools' Office of Diversity and Multicultural Education. School
Superintendent Michael Nast and Board of Education member Martin
Levine were in attendance, along with several teachers, parents and
members of the gay community.
David Knapp, co-chairman of Connecticut's Stonewall Speakers
Association, said Connecticut has also witnessed deadly violence directed
at gays. In 1988, two high school students followed 33-year-old Richard
Riehl from a gay bar to his Wethersfield home, where they beat him to
death with a log while he pleaded for his life, said Knapp, who came out
as gay in his SOs after 27 years of marriage. Riehl's death sparked the
creation of the Stonewall Speakers, who travel around the state talking to
school groups and organizations to raise awareness of gay and lesbian
issues and build tolerance. Knapp said he knows firsthand the
discrimination gay and lesbians feel. Knapp said he was a devoted Boy
Scouts of America commissioner who was asked to resign his post and
leave his church after officials discovered he was gay. "I'm hoping all of
you here tonight can stop the discrimination," Knapp said.
Lester Sharlach, a Stamford resident and former president of the local
chapter of Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays Inc., recalled how his
gay son used to be afraid to go to gym class at the former Rippowam
High School for fear of being ridiculed by classmates. "There were no
safe zones in schools then for gay kids and no teachers for them to go to,"
said Sharlach, who has been involved in PFLAG for almost 20 years.
Although high schools in Greenwich and Westport have gay/ straight
student alliances, there are no such organizations in Stamford or Norwalk
schools, Sharlach said. About 30 percent of all teen suicides involve
homosexuals, Sharlach said. Attitudes must change so gay youths can
find acceptance and stop trying to live a lie or hide their sexual orientation.

It's time for me to come out of the closet. Not about being gay. Clerics
have been doing that so much now that it's no longer news. No, it's
time for me to come out about the fact that I officiate at gay
commitment ceremonies. What makes this particularly difficult is that
I am (for the moment) a priest in good standing of the Episcopal
Church, one of the mainline Protestant mainstays that still says this
type of ceremony is incongruous with scripture. Even talking about it
could cost me my priesthood. While the church came close to
approving gay commitment ceremonies in 1997, it wasn't close
enough. And, as with the rest of the country, the issue continues to be
the subject of heated debate.
Well, rm tired of debating. And I'm tired of keeping silent. I want to
explain why these ceremonies are important and why I perform them.
I was driving to the gym one morning last month when I heard the
news about Matthew Shepard. As I worked out, all I could think about
was Matthew and about the sermon I was to give at a commitment
ceremony that afternoon. I had been to the rehearsal and rehearsal
dinner the night before and was on an emotional high until I heard
the tragic news from Wyoming. How was this heinous crime going to
affect the WOfds I was going to offer at the ceremony.
After the workout I went on autopilot. Wearing my clerical collar and
robes-including the clerical stole that was draped around my neck at
my ordination ten years previously and that I have worn at every
wedding or commitment ceremony I have done since 1 stood in front
of the gathered lovrd ones and wondered ifl would be able to contain
my own emotion of the day.
Seated in the second row was one of the betrothed' s Aunt Marie. She
is from Springrield, Mo., which is just 60 miles or so from where my
own mother was raised. Perhaps in her late 60s, Marie had pulled me
aside the night before and asked whether her nephew and his intended
were going to exchange vows. I assured her that the ceremony was,
in almost all ways, very traditional. "Good," she said. "They deserve
something traditional."
They certainly did. And it was a beautiful service. Promises were
exchanged, as were rings. Friends and family members gave speeches
and toasts. God was truly present. How could God be absent when
there is such love? Every loving couple deserves the opportunity to
have such a celebration.
Yet the church-at least my church, as most others-continues to say
that gay people don't deserve this opportunity. lhisattitude is directly
responsible for creating and supporting an environment in which
hatred and prejudice can take root and grow-the kind of environment
in which young people like Matthew Shepard can be abusedand killed.
The time has come to come out. The time has come to say that there
are those of us within the gay community who believe in lifelong
commitment and who want to celebrate that and do. The time has
come for those of us who are within the system, who are intimately
involved with the church, to say, "Enough already!" It is time that we
let the world know that love transcends the narrow vision that our
brothers and sisters often preach. It is time that we let children see
that two people can love each other deeply and intimately regardless
of their gender.
For lesbians and gay men of faith, we must take the responsibility to
be known and seen in our spiritual communities, recognizing.that we
too are deserving of all that God has to offer us. Matthew didn't get
the chance to grow old enough to find a life partner But for those of
us who have, we owe it to young men and women like Matthew to
celebrate those relationships and let the world, and our churches, know
about them. The perpetrators of Matthew's death in Wyoming are
ultimately responsible for their actions. But the church is responsible
too in its complicity to allow the many messages of ignorance and
prejudice about gay people to be issued from its pulpits and published
in its name.
Nissing, a pastoral psychotherapist in New York City and Wilton,
Conn., is also an Episcopal priest and founding facilitator of
OutSpoken, a youth group at the Triangle Community Center in
Norwalk, Conn.

1st Gathering of a New
Social Group for Couples
Sun., February 7tl1 at 4:00 PM.
Come with a story of the funniest experience
you've had as a couple (and a dish to share). We
were part of a gay couples group in Washington DC
and a lesbian one in New Haven. We know that they can
be fun and fulfilling. We started a list of interested couples
at the Center's reading of Together Forever and are inviting
others to join us. This first potluck will be at our home in
Silvermine to see if there is interest here in Fairfield
County for such a group. We are hoping for a
happy connection not readily available from
usual activities; center on socializing as
couples, discussion around a topic, the
thread of our common experience and
food! Call Morgan or PJ at 847-2561
for more information & directions.
-4.-

T NEWS & VIEWS
Creating Change Conference
The first day was a pre-conference gathering of community centers from all
over the country. Did you know that the Loft (the center in White Plains) has
hired an executive director and has signed a ten-year lease for their space?
The first workshop I went to was hosted by a couple from Rhode Island
who narrated how successfully they repealed their sodomy law. It was a
textbook case of how to do grassroots political organizing. They recruited
the disabled community, including the disabled veterans, to drive home their
message that outlawing the abominable and detestable crime against nature
affected not only the lgbt community.
None of the plenaries had a single charismatic speaker giving a rousing
speech, as in past years. The model instead was a series of brief, closely
timed presentations from a number of speakers. The first night we heard
from Linda Chavez Thompson, a labor leader whose topic was merging
personal politics with "the movement'' without getting totally corrupted in
the process. The following day we heard from Patricia Ireland and Byron
Rushing, a Massachusetts state rep whose district included the South End of
Boston, where a great concentration of gays live. They had been fighting the
good fight for a very long time. Patricia Ireland was charming; relating on
her battles with the Promise Keepers. Her biggest laugh came with a line
about being celibate by choice or chance. This touched a chord among
members of the audience who put off getting laid in favor of grassroots
political organizing.
Byron Rushing's lecture was on how the Constitution' s "we the people" did
not by any means include all the people when originally written. It has, over
the centuries, been expanded to include more and more of the people. His
point was glbt people are becoming part of we the people.
Another workshop I attended was on the response to homosexuality by major
religions. What struck me the most there were the stories of what happened
to gay Muslims when they tried to organize. The first group, composed of
Iranian exchange students in San Francisco in the late 70s, were sent back to
Iran after the fall of the Shah, where they were assassinated at the airport.
Nothing more was attempted for almost 15 years. Then, in the early 90s, a
group sprung up in Toronto. They were so harassed they disbanded a year
later. The Muslims organized by means of listserv, which provided them
with a level of safety that their equally courageous predecessors, did not
have.
Warren Blumenfeld has amalgamated his keen interest in the intersection of
anti-Semitism and homophobia into a slide show that was the topic of another
workshop I attended. He showed side-by-side two cartoons, one from the
Nazi Germany propaganda machine and the other done by Oregon Citizens
Alliance, a rabid anti-gay group active in the mid 90s. They looked like the
same artist had done them and furthermore; the placement of the figures in
both was identical. (I confess to secretly smiling at an image of a Jewish man
surrounded by two loosely dressed Christian women - as the straight
Catholic girl I am, who has more than her share of crushes on Jewish men
during my life)_
I would be remiss if I did not mention two items, that kept coming up in
both the speeches and comments. The first was the D' Amato endorsement
by the Human Rights Campaign and the second was the Millennium March
and how it is being organized. I attended a raucous meeting to air opinions
on the March. It was remarkably civil, until a Stonewall veteran started
personally attacking one of the moderators. People are not happy with how
the March is being organized and a number of people have created an Ad
Hoc Committee for an Open Process in response. -Marianne Seggerman

Men"s Rap Group
Needs Facilitator
The Thursday Men's Rap
Group is: in great need of
a facilitator. Come and be
a part ot this: thr[l.dng group.
For information call John
at (203) 389-7381.

Lesbian Lit Group
For their January 5th meeting, the Lesbian Literature Group has
chosen the novel, "Long Time Passing (Lives of 01
sbians)"
(Allison Publications) for discussion. The book,
• y Marcey
Adelman, is filled with true stories of wo
the 1940s
and 1950s,
led the way for the
followed.
book are
-'
at local bookstores
nH~n1fuol""tirst Tuesday of each
and libraries.
.,.,..~"''""or more information call
month at TCC be
Christine at (203) 847-8476.

1r~ Coloro, '"'· ai,d t:t,ildrcm 'f'ront tf,c! S!,adow:; Pre&cmt:;:
Children From the Shadows VI
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Conference
It Takes a Vlttage to Raise Us Too
University Of Hartford, West Hartford, CT
March 19 and 20, 1999
OVER 40 WORKSHOP
CHOICES PER DAY!

WORKSHOPS TAILORED TO
MEET YOURNEEDS

PROFESSIONAL LEVEL WORKSHOPS AND PRESENTATION.S

TEACHERS, SOCIAL WORKERS
AN.D GUIDANCE COUNSELORS

FACILITATED DISCUSSIONS
PROFESSIONAL ROUND-TABLES
YOUTH LED DISCUSSIONS AND.
ACTIVITIES

PSYCHOLOGISTS, THERAPISTS
AND ct.lNICIANS
SCHOOL AND AGENCY ADMINISTRATORS
GSA AND DIVERSITY GROUP

MUSIC ANO ENTERTAINMENT
RESOURCE ROOM
NATIONALLY KNOWN. PRESENTERS/ LGBT YOUTK EXPERTS

Donations Needed

MEMBERS
PEER· COUNSELORS

COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY
BiGAYLaS

~----·-----·-·---·----·--·--------------- --------------------------·'

Please helP the homeless.
Donate Your used clothine to
TCC. To make arraneements
drop Off call the Center at 8530600 and leave a messaee for
Noel.

:

:

:~~,-r~:

'

TO~ M0-~-~ IN'F0~6'\A-1 l0N:
t:Al.1.: 1--aa&-51i5-5551
CJ'S, i,o ao~ 1a.55, ,¥i.AN.CH~S1'~R. Ci' Ov0.40:

:
~-MAil.: CJ'SHA'PO~S@J~NO.COM
:
:\Tout!, and J-'ull-1~ St1.1deom, $6 for one clay or $20 for bot!,:
:
Adult: $4S for or,e da,i or $ti0 for &otl,
:
:
Sc!,olar&!,ipo ar,d Worf.I ~x,l,ar,ge& Available
'

'----------------------------------------------------·
-5-

T NEWS & VIEWS
Pool Policy in W. Hartford Discriminates

Connecticut News
'Caring for Pets' Special License Plates
Animal lovers can now help their furry friends by purchasing
a new commemorative license plate.
,
Proceeds from the sale of the special "Caring
for Pets" plates will go to the state's animal
population control program, which neuters,
spays and vaccinates animals.costs are $135
for a vanity plate, $70 to transfer a current
plate number to the new plate and $50 for a
randomly assigned number. The license plates, which feature
a dog and a cat, will cost an extra $15 for a two-year
registrationrenewal. Theanimalcontrolprogramwillget$10
of that fee.

I

Equality Begins at Home
Equality Begins at Home is a national campaign to strengthen,
unite, and promote equality for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender communities at the state level. During the week of
March 21-27, 1999, communities in each state and territory across
the country will engage in an unprecedented week of nationally
coordinated actions designed to draw attention to the critical need
to organize at the state and local level to fight the stepped up
attacks from the right and to achieve equality.
Political momentum has shifted to the states. Connecticut
organizers have taken up the challenge to participate with the
other states in this unique set of actions. An initial meeting was
held early in December and the brainstorming began. The probable
outcome of this phase is the adoption of some kind of
proclamation/resolution for groups to sign; a concrete set of
legislative demands (although Connecticut already has both a gay
rights bill and gays are included in the hate crimes bill); and a
moving exhibit that will travel from city to city during the
conference week. Hopefully, local activists and the media will greet
the exhibit in each city it visits. Its finale is a triumphant entrance
into Hartford. Others ideas floating around during the meeting
involved a specially designed flower arrangement and something
involving Governor Rowland (whether he like it or not). The
National Lesbian and Gay Task Force is offering $5,000 to each
state to help fund their ideas.
Equality Begins at Home is sponsored by the Federation of
Statewide LGBT Political Organizations and the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force. The Connecticut Coalition for LGBT Civil
Rights strongly encourages all to participate in actions in our state!
For more information on Equality Begins at Home in CT, contact
Pura Gomez, 860-225-7445, PIWings@aol.com or visit the EBaH
web site at www.equalitybeginsathome.org.

Five West Hartford families announced filed discrimination complaints
with the Connecticut Commission on Human Rights and
Opportunities claiming that they have been denied family
memberships at the town Cornerstone pool based on their sexual
orientation and/ or marital status. They join another gay couple, Barry
Amos and Andy O'Brien who have already filed a complaint with
CHRO. The Council addressed the issue at three meetings from
February to July and consistently denied the same rates to domestic
partners. The Council has been polarized along party lines with the
Republican majority refusing to extend the family membership beyond
"two married (as defined by Connecticut State law) adult parents or a
single parent and dependent children under age 21 (if any)."
The five West Hartford families applied to the Cornerstone Aquatic
Center for family memberships and were denied due to not being
married. By being denied the family rate, the families would be
required to pay an additional $205. - $325. per family, depending on
family size, for memberships at the pool.
Attorney Maureen Murphy, who is representing the families, explained
that "this is exactly the type of blatant discrimination that our nondiscrimination statutes in Connecticut were designed to prevent. We
feel confident that the Commission on Human Rights and
Opportunities will enforce these families' rights so that they, too, can
enjoy equal access to the benefits the Town of West Hartford provides."
Barry Zitser, one of the plaintiffs, is an attorney and will be assisting
Attorney Murphy.
Phil Tegeler, Legal Director of the Connecticut Civil Liberties Union,
was present at the press conference to indicate CCLU's commitment
to providing support for the families' complaints.
Richard Stillson, Co-Chair of the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian,
Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil Rights said that this is a basic
issue of civil rights and that all families should be accorded equal rights
and fees for town services.
"The Town has set up an eligibility criterion which it knows same-sex
families cannot meet," said Mary Bonauto in a press statement from
GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders).

AIDS transmission comparison
HIV st.atii:tics in Stamford .as: of June 30, 1gga: 558 c.asu/1,&JO estim.ated HfV infected

Bisexua-Vgay
ma-le

%
lntraveneous drug
user QDU)

51 Yo

Gay/b-is.exual

male and lDU

KEY

[Ed. note: Marianne Seggerman contributed to this article.]

----+---+---+--+--+-1D

Yale-New Haven Mobile Mammography Van
The Yale-New Haven Hospital mammography van will visit
twelve cities in New Haven and Fairfield Counties to perform
breast cancer screening mammography. One in every eight women
men will learn she has breast cancer at some time in her life.
Mammography is still the best known method in early detection
of breast cancer.
To make it convenient for women the entire process takes less
than 15 minutes. To schedule an appointment, or for information,
call the Yale-New Haven mammography office Monday through
Friday 8 AM to 4 PM at (203) 688-1752.
-6-

us

~ Conn

Hetero:sexuat

------f~~~~~~~:J_J ID Stamford
Trans1us.ion

U-ndertermined

0%

1.0%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

Property of the Center

TNEWS & VIEWS
There Are Matthew Shepards in Connecticut

Crucifixion!

I had the pleasure of representing GLSEN Connecticut at a vigil in honor
of Matthew Shepard in Westport in November. I would like to share my
thoughts on this tragic situation. My name is Leif Mitchell and I am a
Board Member of the Connecticut Chapter of GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian
and Straight Education Network). GLSEN is the only national
organiz.ation working to end anti-gay bias in K-12 schools. We strive to
assert that each member of every school community is valued and
respected regardless of sexual orientation. GLSEN Connecticut expresses
profound regret over the death of Matthew Shepard. I also feel sorry for
Matthew's killers. We view this tragedy as a major failure of the
educational system: our schools simply failed to prepare Matthew's
killers to live in a world where gay and lesbian people live, learn, and
go to work with everyone else. Our schools failed to teach these young
men to respect and value those different from themselves. The tragedy
in Wyoming is a logical expression of these failures. The culture of
intolerance toward lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGB1) people
that led to this attack was nurtured by school communities that have
systematically failed to address and end anti-gay bias.
Our schools here in Connecticut are failing as well. There are Matthew
Shepards in Connecticut. This is not the first time, or the last, that
something like this is going to happen. I received a message from a young
lesbian student the other day that read, "Sometimes I feel so alone. That's
the way I have been feeling lately. Like I'll break down in tears and I
don't know why. I'm so confused." Did you know that a student in
Madison, CT was harassed so much that his parents had to move him to
another school district? Did you know that the former school district is
paying for the student's schooling in the other district because they failed
to protect them?
We hope that Matthew Shepard's tragedy serves as a wake-up call to
students, parents, teachers, and concerned citizens. We are not meeting
the needs of our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. Any time
we talk about school safety, we need to address violence against LGBT
youth. In an age when most schools have instituted 'zero tolerance
policies' on racial and ethnic slurs,'faggot' and' dyke' are still the insults
of choice. The average high school student hears anti-gay epithets twentyfive times a day, and ninety-seven percent of the time, teachers fail to
respond. When compared to their heterosexual peers, lesbian and gay
youth are three to four times more likely to be threatened with a weapon
in school.
Enacting hate crime laws is an absolute necessity. However, creating a
world in which no lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender youth has to
fear for his or her physical well-being will require a commitment to end
anti-gay bias in our schools. You might think schools in our area aren't
homophobic ...aren' t racist. It's one thing to think this and another to be
actively working against racism, sexism, heterosexism, anti-Semitism,
ableism, lookism, and classism.
Did you know that days before Matthew was attacked, a court in Hawaii
sentenced the murderer of a gay man to a simple misdemeanor offense,
with a maximum sentence of one year?
Did you hear about the murder of the abortion doctor, Dr. BamettSlepian,
who was gunned down in New York in front of his children, or the 7
year old black girl who was raped by a white teenager in Las Vegas
while the perpetrator's friend watched guard? In June, James Byrd, a
Texas man, was beaten and dragged behind a truck until he died because
he was black?
The culture of intolerance that led to these attacks is nurtured by school
communities that have systematically failed to address and end bias in
all its forms. We should not be surprised by these horrific tragedies when:
1. Religious conservatives spend over half a million dollars on ads saying
homosexuals recruit and molest children, and face an early death unless

The hanging of Matthew Shepherd on that fence in Wyoming was described at a
meeting of the Men's Rap Group at the TCC, as a crucifixion. The symbolism is
so appropriate that, whether conscious or not, it had to have an effect on the
general public. The reaction across the nation to the cruel torture and hanging
does resemble Christ's tortured journey while carrying the cross and wearing
the crown of thorns (crushed skull), including the long time between the actual
nailing to the cross and His and Matthew's dying.
In the case of Matthew Shepherd one might ask, "Who represents Pontius Pilater'
That dishonor could easily belong to the Fallwells, the Pat Robertsons and the
other blindly accepting followers of the Christian Right (Though, I can't see them
as either Christian or right). These thoughtless followers and the political vultures
parroting them, hope to garner monetary contributions and/ or votes. These votes
are bought at the expense of the blood and lives of people they find as easy
targets for their agendas. Pilate, succumbing to the demands of the mob,
sentenced Christ to death and then washed his hands thus declaring himself
blameless and without guilt. How much do the hypocritical religious leaders,
hiding in the pages of the Bible, declare themselves blameless of the attacks on
members of the gay community? They actually place the blame of these attacks
on the aggrieved rather than themselves. Those attacked, say the Christian Right,
bring the attacks on themselves because they do not have the right mind set.
They conveniently forget and/ or ignore the fact that Christ preached Love and
understanding. Instead, they condone, if not incite, hate and murder with the
self-righteous, frenzied beating of their breasts on their way to earning their seat
in heaven. Perhaps they wish to usurp Christ's position on the right side of God.
How many suicides of young, frightened and impressionable gays and lesbians
can be laid at the feet of those who incessantly damn and condemn these young
people? Who do we fault when parents disown their gay child, now wandering
the streets, trying to survive in an alien, degrading world? Who do we fault
when gays, fearing the consequences ofleaving the "closet'', feel forced to choose
separation rather than rejection and condemnation by those who should have
protected them? Gays, who prefer to remain silent rather than being thrown out,
think that they retain some semblance, however tremulous, of self worth. Where
can they find shelter and solace, understanding and compassion, in a world
enslaved by too many hate oriented religious cults?
On December 7th, PBS aired the "Battle of the Bulge" and "D" Day with their
horrific loss of life and the little that it seemed to matter to anyone concerned or
involved. For the first time Americans were being shown soldiers sitting on the
frozen dead bodies of German soldiers while eating their lunch. Even though
we are aware of such actions on both sides, years have dulled the pictures in our
conscience almost to the degree that it seems as if it never happened. I hope that
this will not be true of what Matthew Shepherd suffered. The killing of an
individual does not always result in just his/her dying. There are other deaths,
longer lasting, less desirable and more painful. That chamber of love and affection
that we reserve for the special people in our lives is now cold and barren. Never
forgotten, but .... never to be occupied again. Was the "Matthew" spark in all of
us also extinguished?
Paul Kowaleski

11

Greenwich Volunteers
PFL.AG o1 Southern Connecticut
is seeking gay, lesbian, bisexual,
ortransgender residents of Greenwich to senie on "lr.lrious town
comrittees. Contact Jeanette
M:iye o1 the .Affirmative Action
..Advisory Cormittee at 869-1138
ext. 102 or 869-5940.

cure.d.,,

2. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott called gay people "diseased,"
comparing them to alcoholics and kleptomaniacs.
3. The House Republican leadership bragged that they "stopped" the
hate crimes bill just days after Matthew Shepard's death.
Quoting from President Clinton at the first annual Hate Crimes Summit
last October, "Let's teach our children before they learn to hate."
Peace be with you all.
-7-

("

T NEWS & VIEWS
Westport's Brook Re-Opens
Four months after hosting what was billed as its final, historic bash,
The Cedar Brook Cafe, the 59 year-old dean of gay bars, has
reopened with a gala, a crowded affair from which many guests
were turned away for lack of space. This marked the end of the
short hiatus from what would otherwise have been the second
longest continuous run of any gay bar in the United States, The
oldest bar, Cafe Lafitte, is in New Orleans.
"I didn't want to see the bar finished/' said new owner and 24-year
patron Clem Bellairs. "The gay community needed the place. The
bar was previously operated by Sean Arena, but when his lease ran
out he closed the cafe and opened a new bar, The Townhouse, on
Wall Sheet in Norwalk.
The owner of the Post Road property and building, Paul Kish, had
originally planned to convert the lot into retail stores, but decided
to give the bar another chance after his plans fell through and Bellairs
made a sentimental protest. "It's pumped and rejuvenated, you can
feel the electricity." he said of Saturday's reception. "Everybody
was very happy and thanking me. But I feel guilty taking credit, it
was strictly a financial move."

1999
NJ /NY /CT
Bisexual
SAVE TH ,S WEEKE",D

February 5-7

Transgender News
American Boyz Hold True Spirit Conference
The American Boyz are pleased to announce the Third Annual True
Spirit Conference to be held at the Best Western Maryland Inn in
Laurel, Maryland from February 26 - 28, 1999. This three day
conference focuses on the social, physical, emotional, spiritual and
relational health of all gender variant people on the FfM spectrum
and their significant others, friends, families, and allies.
Workshops and panel presentations to be held during this 3rd
annual event address such topics as: health and transition issues,
relationships, special needs populations, law, politics, employment,
and spirituality. True Spirit 1999 is committed to offering inclusive
programming for young people, people of color and elders. Special
workshops and caucus opportunities will be available for service
providers. Featured speakers include Jude Patton, long term ftm
and health advocate, Kitten Gross, family and transyouth advocate,
and Dr. Michael L. Brownstein, M.D., FACS, ftm surgeon, as well
and many others. Other events of note scheduled for True Spirit
1999 are: authors readings and chat sessions, exhibit hall with
information and merchandise, film festival, and the American Boys
Award Ceremony. Conference registration fee ranges from $60- $80
with work scholarship and housing assistance available on a first
come first serve basis. There are two options for registration: one,
download and complete registration form from the internet at
www.netgsi.com/-listwrangler or two, request a conference flyer
from The American Boyz/True Spirit 1999 at PO Box 1118, Elkton,
MD, 21922-1118.
The American Boyz is an organization for female to male gender
variant people (FfMs) of any orientation, including but not limited
to tomboys, butches, f2ms, transmen, drag kings, masculine females,
crossdressers, intersexuals, and those who support us, including
our Significant Others, Friends, Families and Allies (SOFFAs).
American Boyz, Inc, PO Box 1118, Elkton, MD, 21922-1118.

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T NEWS & VIEWS
National News

Dockers Spotlight Gay Achievements

Gays Don't Earn More
Makers of upscale products from expensive liquors to designer
clothing have for years devised gay marketing strategies based on
one common assumption: Gays typically earn more money than their
heterosexual counterparts. But that stereotype is a fallacy, says a
report released by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and an
influential economics professor at the University of Massachusetts
at Amherst. The report, "Income Inflation: The Myth of Affluence
Among Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Americans," concludes that most
marketing studies have mistakenly focused on upscale gays and do
not accurately reflect the gay population. The study is certain to
surprise marketers nationwide who long presumed that gays are
perfect targets for many upscale products. Marketers estimate gays
and lesbians account for 3% to 6% of the U.S. population and pack
an annual spending wallop of $99 billion to $198 billion. Badgett's
report is based on data amassed from seven other studies, including
a 1998 updating of the 1990 U.S. Census, the Yankelovich Monitor
and the General Social Survey, conducted by the National Opinion
Research Center. All three studies concluded that gay men actually
make 4 % to 7% less than the average heterosexual man.

President Dines with Gays
Thirty-one Gays involved in business and philanthropic endeavors
contributed $401,CXX) to the Democratic National Committee at a
fundraising dinner in Washington, D.C., in which President Clinton
attended as the guest of honor. The event, which called on
contributors to pay $10,CXX) or more per person, pulled in $111,CXX)
more than a similar "Gay" DNC fundraiser one year earlier. At last
year's event, 25 Gays paid a minimum of $10,CXX) each for the
privilege of dining with Clinton.

One of the world's largest clothing manufacturers is courting gay
customers with an advertising campaign linked to charitable
organi2:ations. A special insert for Dockers, the Levi Strauss & Co.
khaki pants brand, highlights the achievements of 10 gay men and
women. The ads focus on the social and creative accomplishments
of the selected actors, writers, advocates and athletes, and appears
in the November issue of Out. The 10 include Olympic gold medallist
Bruce Hayes, photographer Eve Fowler, writer Brad Gooch, and
actors Guinevere Turner, Mitchell Anderson and Wilson Cruz. The
campaign, photographed by Carter Smith, arrives along with an
effort to eradicate homophobia. The company established the
Dockers Khakis Youth United Against Bias Scholarships, which will
send young people to a Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network conference. Dockers Khakis also made a donation to the
Hetrick Martin Institute, which provides care services to gay youth.

Iowa City Is Gay Haven
When Iowa City was ranked 55th on a national magazine's list of
"Best Lesbian Places to Live," the locals didn't get mad, they invited
the editor to visit. The result? low a City received the editor's choice
award from Girlfriends magazine in this year's rankings, which
appear in its December issue. Iowa City resident Robin Butler said
the city hasn't ranked h~gh on previous Girlfriends lists because it
doesn't have a lesbian nightclub. But that's only because Iowa City's
heterosexual community is so accepting of lesbians, she said.
Girlfriends' top 10 cities, based on reader surveys and such factors
as job growth, housing costs and unemployment, are: Long Beach,
Calif.; Seattle, Wash.; Portland, Ore.; Brooklyn, N.Y.; Oakland, Calif.;
Dallas, Texas; New Orleans, La.; Columbus, Ohio; Provincetown,
Mass.; and Portland, Maine.

PeterScifo

MFAP

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T NEWS & VIEWS
8% Increase in Anti-Gay Hate Crimes

Gay Bridge Tournament

An 8 percent increase in reported hate crimes against gays and
lesbians in 1997 was among the statistics released by the Federal
Bureau of Investigations (FBI) Uniform Crime Reporting Program.
This increase is particularly troubling since overall serious crime
continues its decrease. The FBI report, released Sunday, Nov. 22,
found that 1,102 crimes targeting people because of their sexual
orientation were committed in 1997. This was an eight percent
increase over the 1,016 bias-motivated incidents reported to the FBI
in 1996. In 1995, the FBI reported 1,019 hate crimes based on sexual
orientation.
Currently, only 21 states and the District of Columbia include sexual
orientation in their state hate crimes statutes. Eighteen states have
hate crimes laws that do not include sexual orientation, and eight
states have no hate crimes statutes whatsoever. Three states have
laws that are unclear.

Announcing the First Annual North
American Gay Bridge Tournament to be
held in St. Petersburg, Florida March 5 - 7,
1999. The tournament will be hosted at the
Suncoast Resort Hotel, the world's largest
gay resort with 120 rooms, 34 retail shops,
6 bars, 2 restaurants, a gym, a pool, 2
sandlot volleyball courts and 10 tennis
courts. Located at 3000 34th Street South
(US Highway 19) it is only minutes away
from Fort Desoto Beach, rated one of the
top ten beaches in the world.
This event was inspired by the bridge
event at Gay Games V in Amsterdam in
August 1998. With 352 participants from around the world, it was
the first and largest gay bridge event of it's kind. Team Tampa Bay
decided to go ahead with plans for this event. Team Tampa Bay was
formed in 1997 to organize athletes to go to Gay Games V in
Amsterdam, and also to foster more gay athletic events in the Tampa
Bay area. The bridge tournament is their first effort.
The American Contract Bridge League (ACBL} has given the
tournament a sectionlll rating. Masters points will be awarded,
however you do not need to be a member of ACBL to play. The
tournament is open to anyone. Friday evening a charity pairs event
will be played, with the proceeds to benefit the Federation of Gay
Games. Saturday will be a two-session open pairs event, and Sunday
will be a two-session swiss team event. A partnership table will be
available to match players up into pairs and teams.
For more information you can contact Jerry Keeran, the tournament
organizer, at 813-258-6274, or via e-mail at jkeeran@cftnet.com Team
Tampa Bay can be reached at 727-867-8855, or via e-mail at
teamtampa@aol.com. Their address is P.O. Box 21552, St. Petersburg,
FL 33742-1552.

A Question of Commitment
Craig Gibson and H. Leslie Brown
made Washington Post history a few
weeks ago. The Post published a paid
Style section announcement that the
two men had been "joined in Holy
Union" at the Universalist National
Memorial Church. In changing its
policy by accepting the paid notice, the
paper waded into the controversy over
publishing word of same-sex commitment ceremonies. But The Post
will not run such notices on the wedding announcement page.
Stephen Hills, the paper's vice president for advertising, says The
Post acted in response to "periodic complaints" and "strongly held
feelings about the lack of a place to have [same-sexJannouncements."
But the wedding page "is a place where we have always published
legally recognized marriages, and we decided to keep it that way,"
he says.
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203/256-3839

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Norwalk, CT 06854
(203) 854-4805

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T NEWS & VIEWS
MD - Insurance Extends Domestic Coverage

State by State News
Saying they didn't want same-sex marriages performed in their
churches, Southern Baptists in Georgia voted yesterday to' exclude
congregations that "endorse" homosexuality. The Rev. J. Gerald
Harris, president of the denomination's state convention, said
Southern Baptists welcome gay individuals but can't allow churches
to advocate their behavior. Delegates voted to warn churches they
should not knowingly take any action to affirm, approve or endorse
homosexual behavior if they want to remain in the convention, the
denomination's second largest in the nation behind Texas.

A Baltimore couple's challenge to state insurance regulations has
opened the door for greater opportunities for gay men and lesbians
to get health-care coverage for domestic partners through their
employers. On Oct. 21, the state regulatory body, the Maryland
Insurance Administration (MIA), issued a bulletin lifting what had
been a state regulation barring the extension of large-group
workplace health insurance to family members "not related by blood,
marriage, or adoption." The state Health Care Access and Cost
Commission (HCACC), which oversees small-group coverage (for
companies with 50 or fewer employees), has recommended that its
commissioners follow in MIA' s footsteps .
[NOTE: That approval was granted on Nov. 12.]

IL - Gays Protest

ME - Gays Seek Referendum In 2000

Forty to 50 gay rights activists marched outside the Cook County
Building in Chicago, chanting and carrying signs protesting Illinois'
ban on same-sex marriage. The demonstrators called on Gov.-elect
George Ryan to push for changes in the law. Ryan opposes samesex marriage but has said he would support making sexual
orientation a class protected from discrimination under the Human
Rights Act. After the march, 10 couples tried to obtain marriage
licenses but were turned down.

Less than a year after Maine voters repealed a law to bar
discrimination against homosexuals, gay rights supporters are
pushing for another statewide referendum in November 2000. At a
meeting attended by about 70 people, including several legislators
and members of gay and lesbian organizations, there was
overwhelming agreement that the time was right to ask the
Legislature to re-enact a gay rights law. Michael Heath, executive
director of the Christian Civic League of Maine, said that his
organization would actively oppose any attempt to re-enact a gay
rights law.

GA - Southern Baptists Address Homosexuality

IL - Phelps Supporters Strikes Again
For the second time since Nov. 22, supporters of a Southern Baptist
preacher confronted gay-rights activists outside a Lakeview church.
Rev. Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church, based in Topeka, Kan.,
appeared in Chicago last month to protest the marriage of two gay
men by the pastor of the Broadway United Methodist Church. Phelps
did not appear in person, but at least a half dozen of his relatives
and supporters did. The preacher's absence did not stop about 200
gay-rights activists and other Lakeview residents from spending
hours shouting at each other across police barricades.

Ml - House Passes Measure to Protect Gays
The Michigan House has passed an amendment to the state's "hate
crime" law that would include II sexual orientation" among the bias
motivations designated in the law. The vote recalls House action
taken over ten years ago to protect crime victims who are targeted
based on sexual orientation bias. The measure may now be taken
up by the Senate and could become law by the end of this session.
A broad coalition of groups had come together to advocate the bill.

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MICHAEL PAVLICIN

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T NEWS & VIEWS
NY - Date Bait

OR - Ban On Gay Job Discrimination

Steven Prescott, was braving Date Bait, a brutally efficient, hightech mixer that tries to ease the sting of face-to-face rejection by using
a computer to make matches. Created two years ago, Date Bait has
become a huge draw among gay men in their 30s and 40s, and the
Saturday night events, held at A Different Light bookstore on West
19th Street, are often so crowded that dozens are turned away at the
door. So far, Risemberg says, his matchmaking method has produced
4,837 dates, although he does not track how many of those led to
second dates.
Date Bait affairs couldn't be less fussy: identified with a nametag
and three-digit number, participants sit on chairs that are arranged
in a square. After each person has stood and delivered a brief
description of himself, the seats are cleared for 45 minutes of
ferocious mingling. The mixing done, participants turn to their score
cards and begin shading in the ovals that correspond to the numbers
worn by the prospects who appeal to them. Then comes a nervous
20-minute wait as the forms are fed into a scanner, which tabulates
and coldly spits out pairs of matching numbers.

An Oregon court has done what state lawmakers have been
unwilling to do for years - ban discrimination against homosexuals
in the workplace. The Court of Appeals has ruled that the domestic
partners of three lesbian employees at Oregon Health Sciences
University were entitled to the same benefits given to the spouses
of married employees. The "denial of insurance benefits to the
unmarried partners" of homosexual employees violated the equal
protection provisions of the Oregon Constitution, the three-judge
panel wrote. Though the university and Oregon state government
voluntarily began offering benefits to unmarried partners last June,
the court ruling nailed down the obligations. The ruling could require
other state government entities to provide benefits to same-sex
domestic partners, and to the thousands of teachers, police officers
and others who work for local governments. Private employers
were not specifically required under the ruling to offer the benefits.

NY - Pataki Administration Makes Grants
The Empire State Pride Agenda Foundation is regarding the
allocations to 11 community groups, totalling $1 million as an historic
acknowledgment by an administration in Albany that the needs of
gays and lesbians extend well beyond
AIDS. The grants, ranging from $50,000 to
$125,000, are the first of their kind in New
York for non-AIDS related programs
within the homosexual community. The
money will be spent on programs to
identify homosexual youths at risk of suicide, of drug or alcohol
abuse, of dropping out of school and other problems and getting
them help. Each of the groups is well aware of the longer-term
significance of the state grants. Once a continuing program receives
state funding, the odds become better that that program will keep
getting money each year from Albany.

UT- Judge Rules for Lesbian Teacher
A federal judge has ruled in favor of a high school teacher who
claimed she was fired as volleyball coach because she is a lesbian.
Wendy Weaver said Spanish Fork High School officials violated her
rights with a gag order that prevented her from talking with students
or staff about her sexual orientation, even outside of school. Judge
Bruce Jenkins agreed that her rights of free speech, equal protection
and due process were violated. He ordered the school district to
offer Weaver the coaching position, lift the gag order and give her
$1,500 in damages. The Weaver case has attracted national attention
because of the precedent it could set for how public schools treat
homosexual teachers and coaches.

Trivia
Answer to December - Bridgeport, Connecticut
Question for January - In August of 1989 a young man from
Whitesburg, Georgia named Arthur Ray Denson held a news
conference at the Cotswold Inn in Westport. What was his news
conference announcing?
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·T NEWS & VIEWS
VT - Supreme Court Hears Case
When Nina Beck went into labor and frightening complications
developed, her lesbian partner, Stacy Jolles, tried to go into the
emergency room with her. But she was stopped at the door, she
said, and asked, "Who are you? Do you have legal papers to be
there?" Ms. Beck's son, Noah, was born with a heart defect, and
died last year at age 2. But, Ms. Jolles said today, "Noah is very
much here with us today. He would want us very much to be
married, and he would want us to pursue this to the end." She spoke
in the lobby of the Vermont Supreme Court on the day that Vermont
became the central arena in the United States for the push for
marriage between people of the same sex.
Hawaii seemed positioned to become the first state to legalize
samesex marriage after a 1993 state Supreme Court preliminary
decision leaning in its favor; then an Alaska court case seemed to
put that state next in line. But in this month's elections, Alaskan and
Hawaiian voters rejected the idea in ballot initiatives.
So now, it is Vermont's turn. The court is expected to rule within
months. Vermont's legislature has passed extensive laws protecting
gay men and lesbians from discrimination, and the state has been in
the vanguard on recogrupng "second-parent adoptions": allowing
the member of a gay or lesbian couple who is not the biological
parent of a child to officially become its second parent. But Vermont's
Supreme Court has not been easily categorized as liberal or
conservative. And the state, though known as home to a liberal,
back-to-the-land contingent, also has a strong streak of
traditionalism. So no one is making confident prediction about when,
if ever, same-sex marriage will be allowed here.
Sources
A Question - Wash Post, Nov. 23
Dockers - Dallas News, Nov. 18
Travel - Florida -Sentinel, Nov. 24
Gays Don't Earn - USA Today, Dec. 3
IL - Protest - Oucago Ttmes, Nov. 28
IL - Phelps - Oucago Tribune, Dec. 7
Iowa City - Des Moines Regis., Nov. 30
Movie - Boston Globe, Dec. 5

MD - Ins. -Baltimore City, Nov. 18
NY - Date Bait -NYTtmes, Dec. 6
OR - Ban -Phila Inquire, Nov. 13
President -Wash Blade, Dec. 4
Stamford -Advocate, Nov. 17
Standing -Advocate (mag}, Dec. 8
VT - Supreme, NYTtmes, Dec. 6
Westport's Brook-The Hour-Nov. 23

Media News
Lesbian Movie Spurs India Melee
When Sidheshwar Dayal saw his 700-seat movie theater in
downtown New Delhi packed day after day, he regretted booking
"Fire" for just three weeks. Then, on the last day of its screening, 20
men and women armed with bars stormed into the theater, smashed
ticket windows, busted food counters, and slashed billboards. The
protesters shouted that the award-winning tale of lesbian romance
is vulgar and must be banned. Fearful of similar attacks, other movie
theaters in the Indian capital withdrew the film. "Fire" marks the
first time that India's conservative censor board has given the green
light to a movie that tackles a taboo subject here, homosexuality. In
"Fire," the scene that most scandalized protesters shows the leading
actresses passionately kissing. What irks critics most is that the allIndian cast articulates a fact of life that middle-class Indians know
exists, but is seldom discussed in this patriarchal society. All Bombay
cinemas suspended screenings after the incidents. Movie theaters
in two other cities withdrew the film because of threats. Abroad,
"Fire" was banned in Singapore and Kenya, where there are large
Indian communities. The film was a box-office success in Europe
and the United States. In New York last year, moviegoers formed
lines that twisted around the block to see it.

Gay Travel Network
A new California firm called Access Alliance
offers customized travel planning and other
services for gays and lesbians. For an annual
fee of $20, the firm makes referrals to travel
agents who can recommend gay-friendly
domestic and international destinations,
hotels, resorts, car rentals and cruises. Ongoing perks for members
(who don't have to be gay) include dining, skiing and rental-car
bonuses. New members also get a discount of up to $100 on air travel,
usable on most major carriers. For more information, call 800-6932349.

MICHAEL G. SAAD, MA, LCSW

Visit our Web site at: http://members.aol.com/TCCenter/

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T NEWS & VIEWS
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~ pffldent•JBI

-

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Connecticut
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Office: (203) 847-2806
-14-

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T NEWS & VIEWS

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Property of the Center

M 001 111 383
TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INC.
P.O. BOX 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855
TeJ/Fax: (203) 853-0600
e-mail TCCenter@aol.com

TELEPHONE DIRECTORIES
GROUPS MEETING AT OR SPONSORED BY TCC
A.A. - Don 762-9964
Bi Rap Group - Peter 838-2806; Robin 855-8646
35+ Women's Pot Lucks - Judy 227-7162
Free Association of Fairfield County-Bruce 782-1496
Gay Men's Rap Group - Dave 838-1881
Gmosaic (People of Color) - Nasheed 854-7726
Lesbian Literature Reading Group - Christine 847-8476
Out & About (20's & 30's) - Heather 924-2930, Ashley 576-1073
or Dan 838-2367
OutSpoken (Youth)-Perry & Sara 846--4569; Dan 227-1755;
Doug 838-2367
P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays) Joan 544-8724; Lester 322-5380; Belinda 855-1203
P-FLAG Spouses & Ex Spouses Group - Joan 544-8724
Triangle Bowling League (Circle Lanes, Fairfield) - Lisa 333-3113;
Roseann 931-8789
Women's Rap Group - Chandra 226-8652; Linda 866--4598;
Michele 438--4465
Writer's Group- Mona 863-1553
All meetings are held at the Center and in the evening unless
otherwise noted. A $3 donation per person is appreciated with your
participation in activities to help support the Center.

OTHER AREA GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS
Bare & Gay (B&G) gay nudists
(203) 330-9595
Bisexually Curious Support Group Bpt
(203) 264-5605
Chiltern Mountain Club
(203) 899-0270
Connecticut Kids and Families
(203) 256-8414
Connecticut Freedom to Marry Coalition
(203) 791-9553
40-Up Club Social Group
(203) 238--4069
Gay Fathers Group
(203) 866-7051
Gay Mens Association of Danbury
(203) 778-7016
GEMS (Mature GLBT)
(860) 688-1881
GuideLine (gay/lesbian phone info)
(203) 366-3734
Hartford Community Center
(203) 724-5542
Married Men's Bisexual Suppt Grp Htfd
(203) 262,1555
Metropolitan Community Church
(203) 389-6750
Rainbow Task Force (Unitarian Church)
(203) 222-1441
Transgendered Resource - Kaylen
(203) 661-2448
The Loft, White Plains NY,
(914) 948--4922
Triangle Bowling League
(203) 931-8789
Triangle Kids
(203) 323-6278 & (203) 255-6229
Western Connecticut Gay Men's Group
(203) 773-9947
Call (203) 964-1133 for free listing.

WHERE ARE WE? The Triangle Community Center Inc. is
located at 25 Van Zant Street in Norwalk. From 1-95, take
Exit 16 and go south (from Stamford, turn right; from New
Haven, turn left). Continue south under the railroad bridge
and turn right on Van Zant St. (Route 136). 25 Van Zant is a
large condominium office building on the right. TCC is in
Suite 7-C on the ground floor. Tel. (203) 853-0600.

Deadline for the February Newsletter is Saturday, January
19th • We cannot gaurantee that material received after this
date will be included in the February News & Views.

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
DON BUXTON.................... President
DENYSE BURKE ..................Vice-President
JOHN WALLACE ............... .Treasurer
MEG BACHTEL.. ................. Corresponding Secretary
DAVE CARROLL.. ............... Recording Secretary
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
MEG BACHTEL
JIM BRIDGE
DON BUXTON
DENYSE BURKE
DAVE CARROLL
KAREN JASTERMSKY
MICHELE STONE
JOHN WALLACE

(203) 375-9020
(203) 847-3268
(203) 762-9964
(203) 367-3911
(203) 838-1881
(203) 853-0600
(203) 964-1133
(203) 389-7381

STANDING COMMITTEES
AIDS Liaison
Tom M
Board Development Vacant
Communications
John D
-Public Relations
Mike C
Finance
John W
Fundraising
Jim B
Membership '
Denyse B
-Member Database
Marianne S
Cindy M
Operations
(and to schedule events at the Center)
Program
Dave C
Resource Room
Walter D
-Center Forums
Marianne S
Volunteer
Karen J

374-6934
334-3822
375-3567
261-7349
847-3268
367-3911
222-8294
595-9799
838-1881
374-6934
222-8294
899-0381

NEWS& VIEWS
Is published monthly by
Triangle Community Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855.
NEWS & VIEWS encourages its readers to submit materials of interest
to our community, including short articles, letters to the editor, etc.
We cannot respond to, or publish, anonymous letters. We reserve
the right to edit or conaense as approP,riate to meet space
requirements Authors will be contacfed if major revisions are
necessary. Please submit to:

NEWS&VIEWS
Michele Stone: Editor & Advertising Manager
P.O. Box 8185
Phone/Fax: (203) 964-1133
Stamford, CT 06905
Mike Collins: Publicity
E-mail: NewsViews2@aol.com

Phone: (203) 375-8567

FOR AD RATES PLEASE CONTACT MICHELE STONE:
Ads must be camera-ready. Any ad not camera ready will
be subject to an additional charge. Inserts and special sizes
upon prior agreement. All ads are placed on a space available
basis.
The publication of the name of any person or organiz.ation in articles
or ads in NEWS & VIEWS is not to be construed as any indication of
the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such
organizations. The appearance of advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS
does not imply nor constitute endorsement by TCC, Inc. The views
expressed in this NEWS & VIEWS are not necessarily those of TCC,
Inc. Copyright 1997 by Triangle Community Center, Inc. All rights
reserveed. This work, or any parts thereof, may not be used or
reproduced in any manner without written permission.
-15-

TNEWS & VIEWS
TCC Calendar

January, 1999

Sun

Mon

Tues

Wed

Fri

Thu

2

II
3

4

5

6

AA 9-l0am
OutSpoken 4-6

Women's Rap 7:30

Lesbian Lit 7:30

10

11

12

AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6
TCC Anniversary 2-5

17
AA 9-l0am
OutSpoken 4-6

1:~~~-:4/4

Sat

Women's Rap 7:30

18

TCC Board 7:30
Writer's Group 7:30

19

7

P-FLAG 7:45

20

25

TCC Board 7:30
Writer's Group 7:30

21

28

N&V's Deadline
Nunsense 8

23

Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes
Nunsense 8

29

Men's Rap 7:30

Bi Rap Group 7:30
Spirituality Group 7

16

G-Mosaic 7 :30
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes
Nunsense 8

22

Men's Rap 7:30
Nunsense 8

27

9

Out &About 7:00
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes

15

Men's Rap 7:30

Bi Rap Group 7:30
Spirituality Group 7

P-FLAG Spouses &
Ex-spouses 7:30

26

/ ' " " " " . ' : W.m<"'•R,p730

14

13

Women's Rap 7:30

8

Men's Rap 7:30

Nunsense 8

30

Out & About 7:00
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes

Connecticut Calendar - January
Friday, Jan. 1 - Movie: "Mary Poppins" at the New Haven Gay
and Lesbian Community Center, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven. 6:30
PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 2 - Stephanie's Living Room presents its Holiday
Gala, at the Stratford Ramada Inn, 8:00 PM. Dance admission $10.00;
$5.00 for the physicallychallenged. For more information call 203377-2119.
Friday, Jan. 8 - Movie: "Casablanca" at the NHCLCC, 50 Fitch
Street, New Haven. 6:30 PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Friday, Jan.15 - Movie:" Antonia's Line" at the NHGLCC 6:30 PM
potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 16 - Another Octave/ Connecticut Women's Chorus
presents its annual Spaghetti and Song event, featuring the
Undertones, at the Unitarian Society in Hamden, 6:30 PM. For ticket
info please call 203-271-5284.
Sunday, Jan. 17 - The Gay Men's Book Group will be discussing
Single Man Christopher Isherwood, 7:00 PM, Ridgefield.
Sunday, Jan.17 - Another Octave/Connecticut Women's Chorus
presents its annual Spaghetti and Song event, featuring the
Undertones, at the Unitarian Society in Hamden, 5:30 PM. For ticket
info please call 203-271-5284.
Friday - Sunday, Jan. 22 - 24 - Brothers Together presents A New
Year Retreat For Men Who Love Men, a time for reflection and
connection in a supportive group of men. Cedar Hill Retreat Center,
Duxbury, MA. For more info call 617-247-3964.
Friday, Jan. 22 - Movie: "The Incredible True Story of Two Girls In
Love" at the NHGLCC 6:30 PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 23 - paper tigers, authors of the Matthew Shepard
tribute "Just Like Me", will present their first concert for the Gay
community at the NHGLCC, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven, 8:00 PM.
Reservations strongly encouraged. $10.00 for non-center members,
$7.00 for members,$ 5.00 for students with ID.

Friday, Jan. 29 - Movie: "Moonstruck" at the New Haven Gay and
Lesbian Community Center, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven. 6:30 PM
potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.

-16-

TMEMBERSHIP FORM
MEMBERSHIP LISTS ARE CONFIDENTIAL
NAME

ADDRESS

CnY
PHONE

STATE - - - ZIP

E-MAIL

Contributing Member
Contributing Household
Supporting Member
Sponsoring Member
Sustaining/Business Member
Special Member (Youth/Senior)
Newsletter Only

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$ 60
$125
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$ 20
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(new subscriptions only)

Please make check payable to:
Triangle Community Center, Inc. - Membership
P.O. Box 4062 - East Norwalk, CT 0685 5
(203) 853-0600



Property of the Center

Triangle Commun

A

■ e,,,s
Free to Members and Subscribers

VollO, No.1

January 1999

The Triangle Community Center, Inc. a non-profit Connecticut corporation, exists to provide services to give the
lesbian/gay/bisexualjtransgender community a sense of identity, pride and visibility, as well as to work with
the greater Fairfield County community to foster understanding and awareness of !es/bi/gay/trans issues.

"Ho

derf The sisters are br• .rt[
.
r1ous.
,.

',,

- Liz S ■ ith

(•

The Triangle Community Center
presents

''Sen

P:.

ona I!''

-WABC-TV

January 15, 16, 21, 22, & 23, 1999 at 8PM
Norwalk Community Technical College
Performing Arts Center
188 Richards Avenue, Norwalk

..

a"ii1fll!llc

Proud Corporate Sponsors

.

f the proceeds supports

"- RoSES
BR£A00'-r
203-855-1485
•
kets·
'T
For 1c
•
rCard & Visa
A,port1ono

.
00 Maste
$35.00 & $50hoW reception
includes a posts

people's bank

Many Hearts • • • One Community

T NEWS & VIEWS

TCC IS £1GHT YEARS OLD!
@

1989

~

1990

- E~

1991
1993
1999

1\:8~
~

~

They dreamed it.

ff£1P US
C£1£BRAT£!

They planned it.

They opened it.

They moved it.

SUNDAY,
JANUARY 10, 1999
FROM l-5 PM
Refreshments served.

BUT
You make it work.

Imperial Court of Connecticut

Movie Night
TCC will present their next potluck/ movie night
on Sunday, January 17 beginning at 6 PM. Bring
your cute little self and food for four. The movie
this month is "Stonewall". It's one person's vision
of what happened on the first night of the
Stonewall Riot.

The Board of Directors of TCC wishes to extend its heart felt
gratitude to The Imperial Court of
Connecticut for donating the proceeds
from their recent show ($503.00) to TCC.
Their generous support of the Center
especially at this critical juncture in the
Center's life is greatly appreciated.

Nunsense A=Men!
Nunsense A-Men! -- an all new, all male version of the smash play "Nunsense" - is coming to Connecticut. Performances are scheduled for
January 15/16/21/22/23 at 8 PM, at the Norwalk Community Technical College's Performing Arts Theatre. The tickets, selling for $50
and $35, include a post show reception and may be purchased by calling (203) 855-1485. The Norwalk Community Technical College
Performing Arts Center is located at 188
Richards Avenue in Norwalk, on the East
Side, off Connecticut Turnpike (1-95) exit
13.
Nunsense A-Men! Features comedy, gags,
and music. The show's director is Scott M.
Robbins.
The musical director is Stephanie Daumer
and the choreographer is Kathy Hellrigel.
The set designer is Barry Axtell. Patty
Blackwood' s puppet is being featured in
the performances. The Westchester
Broadway Theatre and the Helen Hayes
Theatre of Nyack, NY, are also assisting in
the Norwalk production.

Elliott Arluck, the Norwalk show's producer
said the corporate sponsors include Virgin
Atlantic Airways, People's Bank, and York 168
(168 York Street, New Haven). Additionally, the
hotel Millennium Bailey's of London has
donated a room for two and the Regal UN
Plaza in Manhattan has donated a brunch for
two. These gifts will be awarded as prizes in a
raffle in conjunction with the show.
Proceeds benefit the Triangle Community
Center of East Norwalk and Bread & Roses,
the HIV and AIDS organization in Norwalk
and Georgetown, in Fairfield County.

NUnSense workers !!et the word out!
-2-

T NEWS & VIEWS
TCC News
Splinters from the Board
Allow me to me to introduce myself. My name is James Bridge, and fma
member of the Board of Directors here at the Triangle Community Center.
1n my other life; I'm the assistant to the executive director at Bread & Roses.
lf you don't who and what Bread & Roses is, shame on you. (We provide
services for those infected and affected with HIV/ AIDS, in the Greater
Fairfield County Area.) It is a very rewarding job, and I feel truly blessed to
be there.
The reason I am writing today is that I have recently assumed the mantle of
the Fundraising Chair for the Triangle Corrnnunity Center. It's a great
responsibility, and I don't think I can do it alone. Yes, I need help. I want to
put together a committee. A High Council of Fundraising; if you will. I want
to put the fun back in Fundraising. I know it sounds corny, but if you say so
to my face; I might hit you. I'm taking-this seriously. Here in Fairfield County,
we have an affluent and diverse community. Emphasis on the word
"Affluent". There is no logical reason our center, located in the heart of one
the richest counties of the richest state of the richest country in the world
should be struggling to keep its doors open. Okay, so we're here. You know
we're here, and maybe we're doing something wrong. WE WON'T KNOW
IF YOU DON'T TELL US!
I've been told that if you make it fun, they will come. We already built it,
and they seem to be staying away in droves. So help me out here. Contact
me. Maybe you can join my little committee. Make it a big committee. I
want everybody. Young; not so young; male, female, human, alien, whatever.
lf you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or just have a decent fashion
sense, speak the hell up! My email is Palemonkey@yahoo.com. I'm forming
a committee. A task force. A high frikkin council. I want it to be all-inclusive
and I want it to be fun. For me, for you, for everybody. Now put on your
thinking caps and get to work. Thanks.

Bi Rap Group
Needs Facilitator
Peter & Robin, co-facilitators are
retiring and seek B~f}eople who
would Ike to keep this needed &
important group going. Our lives
have recentty- taken directions that
do not give us the 3nd & 4th Wed.
continuity that is required. Please
do not let this group fade away!
Call Peter at838-2806 or Robin
at 855-8546. We can continue to
facilitate until March. If you love
it, nurture it; please.

Matthew Shepard Vigil in Westport
Nearly 500 people of many faiths and of both gay and heterosexual
orientations attended a special vigil service Sunday evening
November 15, 1998 in Westport for Matthew Shepard, the young
gay college student brutally murdered in a hate crime in Wyoming
in October. The service, held at the Unitarian Church in Westport
and c<:>-sponsored by Temple Israel of Westport, was organized by
Rozanne Gates and Suzanne Sheridan, c<:>-chairs of the Rainbow
Task Force, organized at the church 10 years ago to provide support
for gay and lesbian members. Suzanne and Rozanne opened the
service by faking note of the horrific crime in Wyoming. In
organizing the service they called upon all churches in Connecticut
to be open and affirming toward gays and lesbians.
Special thanks was given to Triangle Community Center president
Donald Buxton for his assistance in the vigil. The Connecticut Gay
Man's Chorus performed and the service ended with a candle
lighting by each of the nearly 500 persons present.
Leif Mitchell, member of the board of directors of the Gay, Lesbian,
and Straight Education Network (GI.SEN), said the incident was
not isolated, "There are Matthew Shepards right here in
Connecticut." Leif said gay students are several times more likely
to be threatened and are three times more likely to commit suicide,
than heterosexual students. He-said the average gay student hears
the word "fag" 25 times a day in school, and that in 97per cent of
the cases, the teacher and school do nothing about it. For the record,
he said "I am not a kleptomaniac," echoing a comment earlier in
the service by the organizers of the vigil, who referred to the
comment by Senator Trent Lott, from Mississippi. Lott compared
homosexuals to kleptomaniacs in an interview on the national
Armstrong Williams show this summer, on the right-wing
America's Voice Network.
Michael Collins, public relations director of the Triangle Community
Center of East Norwalk - the gay and lesbian community center
serving Fairfield County-noted that the right-wing has been wrong
virtually all the time. "In the past two centuries the right wing was
wrong about slavery, wrong in its winning position on Native
Americans, wrong about Jim Crow and segregation, wrong for
bringing us the KKK, wrong for denying women the right to vote,
wrong for opposing child labor laws, wrong for bringing Nazism
to Europe, wrong for bringing us McCarthyism, wrong in its
anti-semitism, wrong for opposing women's rights and for sexism,
on the wrong side of the civil rights movement, and wrong about
homosexuality today." Michael called on gays and lesbians to make
"best efforts" to come out, since the closet is the ultimate tool of the
right wing.
The Triangle Community Center arranged media coverage and
there were reports on Cablevision 12 covering Fairfield County.
WEBE 107.9 in Westport also covered the vigil. The Stamford
Advocate had an article Saturday and Sunday and Monday. The
Connecticut Jewish Ledger based in West Hartford, sent a reporter,
and IN Newsweekly sent a reporter to cover the vigil from
Westbrook, CT. IN Newsweekly is based in Boston and covers gay
and lesbian news for all 6 New England states. The New York T1IDes
had a significant article in its Sunday Connecticut Weekly section.
Some of the musical performances included: Beth Stiles solo on
piano, Cantor Richard Silverman of Temple Israel of Westport, Chris
Coogan performing "Light A Candle", the Connecticut Gay Men's
Chorus, Suzanne Sheridan, Edward Thompson solo on piano and
finally the entire congregation sang: "We Are A Gentle Angry
People" by Holly Near.
Clergy speaking Included Rabbi RobertOrkland of Temple Israel,
the Reverend John Tolley of the Unitarian Church in Westport, the
Reverends Alan Johnson and Martie McMane c<:>-pastors of the
Saugatuck Congregatinal Church, the Reverend Linda Hirst of the
Greens Forms Congregational Church. Also speaking was Sunny
Khadjavi, president of P-FLAG of Norwalk, who said "What
happened to Matthew is the worst nightmare for the parent of a
gay child."
-Michael Collins

T NEWS & VIEWS
Stamford Panel Raises Awareness

Standing on Ceremony

Retired Newtown gym teacher Deann LeBeau said she has heard students
call classmates "faggot" or, "dyke" and watched some teachers who
witnessed the harassment simply tum their backs and ignore it. "I've seen
kids who are afraid to go from one class to another because they don't
know what they'll face as far as degradation or harassment in the hallway,"
said LeBeau, who is gay, at a panel discussion on gay and lesbian issues
at the Stamford Government Center. "Sexual orientation has to be dealt
with in schools." Discrimination against students in the schools based on
their sexual orientation is against the law, and school administrators,
teachers and employees have to be taught that it is not acceptable and
how to deal with it when they see it, Le Beau said. Le Beau was one of four
guest speakers at the sparsely attended discussion, hosted by Stamford
Public Schools' Office of Diversity and Multicultural Education. School
Superintendent Michael Nast and Board of Education member Martin
Levine were in attendance, along with several teachers, parents and
members of the gay community.
David Knapp, co-chairman of Connecticut's Stonewall Speakers
Association, said Connecticut has also witnessed deadly violence directed
at gays. In 1988, two high school students followed 33-year-old Richard
Riehl from a gay bar to his Wethersfield home, where they beat him to
death with a log while he pleaded for his life, said Knapp, who came out
as gay in his SOs after 27 years of marriage. Riehl's death sparked the
creation of the Stonewall Speakers, who travel around the state talking to
school groups and organizations to raise awareness of gay and lesbian
issues and build tolerance. Knapp said he knows firsthand the
discrimination gay and lesbians feel. Knapp said he was a devoted Boy
Scouts of America commissioner who was asked to resign his post and
leave his church after officials discovered he was gay. "I'm hoping all of
you here tonight can stop the discrimination," Knapp said.
Lester Sharlach, a Stamford resident and former president of the local
chapter of Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays Inc., recalled how his
gay son used to be afraid to go to gym class at the former Rippowam
High School for fear of being ridiculed by classmates. "There were no
safe zones in schools then for gay kids and no teachers for them to go to,"
said Sharlach, who has been involved in PFLAG for almost 20 years.
Although high schools in Greenwich and Westport have gay/ straight
student alliances, there are no such organizations in Stamford or Norwalk
schools, Sharlach said. About 30 percent of all teen suicides involve
homosexuals, Sharlach said. Attitudes must change so gay youths can
find acceptance and stop trying to live a lie or hide their sexual orientation.

It's time for me to come out of the closet. Not about being gay. Clerics
have been doing that so much now that it's no longer news. No, it's
time for me to come out about the fact that I officiate at gay
commitment ceremonies. What makes this particularly difficult is that
I am (for the moment) a priest in good standing of the Episcopal
Church, one of the mainline Protestant mainstays that still says this
type of ceremony is incongruous with scripture. Even talking about it
could cost me my priesthood. While the church came close to
approving gay commitment ceremonies in 1997, it wasn't close
enough. And, as with the rest of the country, the issue continues to be
the subject of heated debate.
Well, rm tired of debating. And I'm tired of keeping silent. I want to
explain why these ceremonies are important and why I perform them.
I was driving to the gym one morning last month when I heard the
news about Matthew Shepard. As I worked out, all I could think about
was Matthew and about the sermon I was to give at a commitment
ceremony that afternoon. I had been to the rehearsal and rehearsal
dinner the night before and was on an emotional high until I heard
the tragic news from Wyoming. How was this heinous crime going to
affect the WOfds I was going to offer at the ceremony.
After the workout I went on autopilot. Wearing my clerical collar and
robes-including the clerical stole that was draped around my neck at
my ordination ten years previously and that I have worn at every
wedding or commitment ceremony I have done since 1 stood in front
of the gathered lovrd ones and wondered ifl would be able to contain
my own emotion of the day.
Seated in the second row was one of the betrothed' s Aunt Marie. She
is from Springrield, Mo., which is just 60 miles or so from where my
own mother was raised. Perhaps in her late 60s, Marie had pulled me
aside the night before and asked whether her nephew and his intended
were going to exchange vows. I assured her that the ceremony was,
in almost all ways, very traditional. "Good," she said. "They deserve
something traditional."
They certainly did. And it was a beautiful service. Promises were
exchanged, as were rings. Friends and family members gave speeches
and toasts. God was truly present. How could God be absent when
there is such love? Every loving couple deserves the opportunity to
have such a celebration.
Yet the church-at least my church, as most others-continues to say
that gay people don't deserve this opportunity. lhisattitude is directly
responsible for creating and supporting an environment in which
hatred and prejudice can take root and grow-the kind of environment
in which young people like Matthew Shepard can be abusedand killed.
The time has come to come out. The time has come to say that there
are those of us within the gay community who believe in lifelong
commitment and who want to celebrate that and do. The time has
come for those of us who are within the system, who are intimately
involved with the church, to say, "Enough already!" It is time that we
let the world know that love transcends the narrow vision that our
brothers and sisters often preach. It is time that we let children see
that two people can love each other deeply and intimately regardless
of their gender.
For lesbians and gay men of faith, we must take the responsibility to
be known and seen in our spiritual communities, recognizing.that we
too are deserving of all that God has to offer us. Matthew didn't get
the chance to grow old enough to find a life partner But for those of
us who have, we owe it to young men and women like Matthew to
celebrate those relationships and let the world, and our churches, know
about them. The perpetrators of Matthew's death in Wyoming are
ultimately responsible for their actions. But the church is responsible
too in its complicity to allow the many messages of ignorance and
prejudice about gay people to be issued from its pulpits and published
in its name.
Nissing, a pastoral psychotherapist in New York City and Wilton,
Conn., is also an Episcopal priest and founding facilitator of
OutSpoken, a youth group at the Triangle Community Center in
Norwalk, Conn.

1st Gathering of a New
Social Group for Couples
Sun., February 7tl1 at 4:00 PM.
Come with a story of the funniest experience
you've had as a couple (and a dish to share). We
were part of a gay couples group in Washington DC
and a lesbian one in New Haven. We know that they can
be fun and fulfilling. We started a list of interested couples
at the Center's reading of Together Forever and are inviting
others to join us. This first potluck will be at our home in
Silvermine to see if there is interest here in Fairfield
County for such a group. We are hoping for a
happy connection not readily available from
usual activities; center on socializing as
couples, discussion around a topic, the
thread of our common experience and
food! Call Morgan or PJ at 847-2561
for more information & directions.
-4.-

T NEWS & VIEWS
Creating Change Conference
The first day was a pre-conference gathering of community centers from all
over the country. Did you know that the Loft (the center in White Plains) has
hired an executive director and has signed a ten-year lease for their space?
The first workshop I went to was hosted by a couple from Rhode Island
who narrated how successfully they repealed their sodomy law. It was a
textbook case of how to do grassroots political organizing. They recruited
the disabled community, including the disabled veterans, to drive home their
message that outlawing the abominable and detestable crime against nature
affected not only the lgbt community.
None of the plenaries had a single charismatic speaker giving a rousing
speech, as in past years. The model instead was a series of brief, closely
timed presentations from a number of speakers. The first night we heard
from Linda Chavez Thompson, a labor leader whose topic was merging
personal politics with "the movement'' without getting totally corrupted in
the process. The following day we heard from Patricia Ireland and Byron
Rushing, a Massachusetts state rep whose district included the South End of
Boston, where a great concentration of gays live. They had been fighting the
good fight for a very long time. Patricia Ireland was charming; relating on
her battles with the Promise Keepers. Her biggest laugh came with a line
about being celibate by choice or chance. This touched a chord among
members of the audience who put off getting laid in favor of grassroots
political organizing.
Byron Rushing's lecture was on how the Constitution' s "we the people" did
not by any means include all the people when originally written. It has, over
the centuries, been expanded to include more and more of the people. His
point was glbt people are becoming part of we the people.
Another workshop I attended was on the response to homosexuality by major
religions. What struck me the most there were the stories of what happened
to gay Muslims when they tried to organize. The first group, composed of
Iranian exchange students in San Francisco in the late 70s, were sent back to
Iran after the fall of the Shah, where they were assassinated at the airport.
Nothing more was attempted for almost 15 years. Then, in the early 90s, a
group sprung up in Toronto. They were so harassed they disbanded a year
later. The Muslims organized by means of listserv, which provided them
with a level of safety that their equally courageous predecessors, did not
have.
Warren Blumenfeld has amalgamated his keen interest in the intersection of
anti-Semitism and homophobia into a slide show that was the topic of another
workshop I attended. He showed side-by-side two cartoons, one from the
Nazi Germany propaganda machine and the other done by Oregon Citizens
Alliance, a rabid anti-gay group active in the mid 90s. They looked like the
same artist had done them and furthermore; the placement of the figures in
both was identical. (I confess to secretly smiling at an image of a Jewish man
surrounded by two loosely dressed Christian women - as the straight
Catholic girl I am, who has more than her share of crushes on Jewish men
during my life)_
I would be remiss if I did not mention two items, that kept coming up in
both the speeches and comments. The first was the D' Amato endorsement
by the Human Rights Campaign and the second was the Millennium March
and how it is being organized. I attended a raucous meeting to air opinions
on the March. It was remarkably civil, until a Stonewall veteran started
personally attacking one of the moderators. People are not happy with how
the March is being organized and a number of people have created an Ad
Hoc Committee for an Open Process in response. -Marianne Seggerman

Men"s Rap Group
Needs Facilitator
The Thursday Men's Rap
Group is: in great need of
a facilitator. Come and be
a part ot this: thr[l.dng group.
For information call John
at (203) 389-7381.

Lesbian Lit Group
For their January 5th meeting, the Lesbian Literature Group has
chosen the novel, "Long Time Passing (Lives of 01
sbians)"
(Allison Publications) for discussion. The book,
• y Marcey
Adelman, is filled with true stories of wo
the 1940s
and 1950s,
led the way for the
followed.
book are
-'
at local bookstores
nH~n1fuol""tirst Tuesday of each
and libraries.
.,.,..~"''""or more information call
month at TCC be
Christine at (203) 847-8476.

1r~ Coloro, '"'· ai,d t:t,ildrcm 'f'ront tf,c! S!,adow:; Pre&cmt:;:
Children From the Shadows VI
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Conference
It Takes a Vlttage to Raise Us Too
University Of Hartford, West Hartford, CT
March 19 and 20, 1999
OVER 40 WORKSHOP
CHOICES PER DAY!

WORKSHOPS TAILORED TO
MEET YOURNEEDS

PROFESSIONAL LEVEL WORKSHOPS AND PRESENTATION.S

TEACHERS, SOCIAL WORKERS
AN.D GUIDANCE COUNSELORS

FACILITATED DISCUSSIONS
PROFESSIONAL ROUND-TABLES
YOUTH LED DISCUSSIONS AND.
ACTIVITIES

PSYCHOLOGISTS, THERAPISTS
AND ct.lNICIANS
SCHOOL AND AGENCY ADMINISTRATORS
GSA AND DIVERSITY GROUP

MUSIC ANO ENTERTAINMENT
RESOURCE ROOM
NATIONALLY KNOWN. PRESENTERS/ LGBT YOUTK EXPERTS

Donations Needed

MEMBERS
PEER· COUNSELORS

COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY
BiGAYLaS

~----·-----·-·---·----·--·--------------- --------------------------·'

Please helP the homeless.
Donate Your used clothine to
TCC. To make arraneements
drop Off call the Center at 8530600 and leave a messaee for
Noel.

:

:

:~~,-r~:

'

TO~ M0-~-~ IN'F0~6'\A-1 l0N:
t:Al.1.: 1--aa&-51i5-5551
CJ'S, i,o ao~ 1a.55, ,¥i.AN.CH~S1'~R. Ci' Ov0.40:

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Sc!,olar&!,ipo ar,d Worf.I ~x,l,ar,ge& Available
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'----------------------------------------------------·
-5-

T NEWS & VIEWS
Pool Policy in W. Hartford Discriminates

Connecticut News
'Caring for Pets' Special License Plates
Animal lovers can now help their furry friends by purchasing
a new commemorative license plate.
,
Proceeds from the sale of the special "Caring
for Pets" plates will go to the state's animal
population control program, which neuters,
spays and vaccinates animals.costs are $135
for a vanity plate, $70 to transfer a current
plate number to the new plate and $50 for a
randomly assigned number. The license plates, which feature
a dog and a cat, will cost an extra $15 for a two-year
registrationrenewal. Theanimalcontrolprogramwillget$10
of that fee.

I

Equality Begins at Home
Equality Begins at Home is a national campaign to strengthen,
unite, and promote equality for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender communities at the state level. During the week of
March 21-27, 1999, communities in each state and territory across
the country will engage in an unprecedented week of nationally
coordinated actions designed to draw attention to the critical need
to organize at the state and local level to fight the stepped up
attacks from the right and to achieve equality.
Political momentum has shifted to the states. Connecticut
organizers have taken up the challenge to participate with the
other states in this unique set of actions. An initial meeting was
held early in December and the brainstorming began. The probable
outcome of this phase is the adoption of some kind of
proclamation/resolution for groups to sign; a concrete set of
legislative demands (although Connecticut already has both a gay
rights bill and gays are included in the hate crimes bill); and a
moving exhibit that will travel from city to city during the
conference week. Hopefully, local activists and the media will greet
the exhibit in each city it visits. Its finale is a triumphant entrance
into Hartford. Others ideas floating around during the meeting
involved a specially designed flower arrangement and something
involving Governor Rowland (whether he like it or not). The
National Lesbian and Gay Task Force is offering $5,000 to each
state to help fund their ideas.
Equality Begins at Home is sponsored by the Federation of
Statewide LGBT Political Organizations and the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force. The Connecticut Coalition for LGBT Civil
Rights strongly encourages all to participate in actions in our state!
For more information on Equality Begins at Home in CT, contact
Pura Gomez, 860-225-7445, PIWings@aol.com or visit the EBaH
web site at www.equalitybeginsathome.org.

Five West Hartford families announced filed discrimination complaints
with the Connecticut Commission on Human Rights and
Opportunities claiming that they have been denied family
memberships at the town Cornerstone pool based on their sexual
orientation and/ or marital status. They join another gay couple, Barry
Amos and Andy O'Brien who have already filed a complaint with
CHRO. The Council addressed the issue at three meetings from
February to July and consistently denied the same rates to domestic
partners. The Council has been polarized along party lines with the
Republican majority refusing to extend the family membership beyond
"two married (as defined by Connecticut State law) adult parents or a
single parent and dependent children under age 21 (if any)."
The five West Hartford families applied to the Cornerstone Aquatic
Center for family memberships and were denied due to not being
married. By being denied the family rate, the families would be
required to pay an additional $205. - $325. per family, depending on
family size, for memberships at the pool.
Attorney Maureen Murphy, who is representing the families, explained
that "this is exactly the type of blatant discrimination that our nondiscrimination statutes in Connecticut were designed to prevent. We
feel confident that the Commission on Human Rights and
Opportunities will enforce these families' rights so that they, too, can
enjoy equal access to the benefits the Town of West Hartford provides."
Barry Zitser, one of the plaintiffs, is an attorney and will be assisting
Attorney Murphy.
Phil Tegeler, Legal Director of the Connecticut Civil Liberties Union,
was present at the press conference to indicate CCLU's commitment
to providing support for the families' complaints.
Richard Stillson, Co-Chair of the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian,
Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Civil Rights said that this is a basic
issue of civil rights and that all families should be accorded equal rights
and fees for town services.
"The Town has set up an eligibility criterion which it knows same-sex
families cannot meet," said Mary Bonauto in a press statement from
GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders).

AIDS transmission comparison
HIV st.atii:tics in Stamford .as: of June 30, 1gga: 558 c.asu/1,&JO estim.ated HfV infected

Bisexua-Vgay
ma-le

%
lntraveneous drug
user QDU)

51 Yo

Gay/b-is.exual

male and lDU

KEY

[Ed. note: Marianne Seggerman contributed to this article.]

----+---+---+--+--+-1D

Yale-New Haven Mobile Mammography Van
The Yale-New Haven Hospital mammography van will visit
twelve cities in New Haven and Fairfield Counties to perform
breast cancer screening mammography. One in every eight women
men will learn she has breast cancer at some time in her life.
Mammography is still the best known method in early detection
of breast cancer.
To make it convenient for women the entire process takes less
than 15 minutes. To schedule an appointment, or for information,
call the Yale-New Haven mammography office Monday through
Friday 8 AM to 4 PM at (203) 688-1752.
-6-

us

~ Conn

Hetero:sexuat

------f~~~~~~~:J_J ID Stamford
Trans1us.ion

U-ndertermined

0%

1.0%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

Property of the Center

TNEWS & VIEWS
There Are Matthew Shepards in Connecticut

Crucifixion!

I had the pleasure of representing GLSEN Connecticut at a vigil in honor
of Matthew Shepard in Westport in November. I would like to share my
thoughts on this tragic situation. My name is Leif Mitchell and I am a
Board Member of the Connecticut Chapter of GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian
and Straight Education Network). GLSEN is the only national
organiz.ation working to end anti-gay bias in K-12 schools. We strive to
assert that each member of every school community is valued and
respected regardless of sexual orientation. GLSEN Connecticut expresses
profound regret over the death of Matthew Shepard. I also feel sorry for
Matthew's killers. We view this tragedy as a major failure of the
educational system: our schools simply failed to prepare Matthew's
killers to live in a world where gay and lesbian people live, learn, and
go to work with everyone else. Our schools failed to teach these young
men to respect and value those different from themselves. The tragedy
in Wyoming is a logical expression of these failures. The culture of
intolerance toward lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGB1) people
that led to this attack was nurtured by school communities that have
systematically failed to address and end anti-gay bias.
Our schools here in Connecticut are failing as well. There are Matthew
Shepards in Connecticut. This is not the first time, or the last, that
something like this is going to happen. I received a message from a young
lesbian student the other day that read, "Sometimes I feel so alone. That's
the way I have been feeling lately. Like I'll break down in tears and I
don't know why. I'm so confused." Did you know that a student in
Madison, CT was harassed so much that his parents had to move him to
another school district? Did you know that the former school district is
paying for the student's schooling in the other district because they failed
to protect them?
We hope that Matthew Shepard's tragedy serves as a wake-up call to
students, parents, teachers, and concerned citizens. We are not meeting
the needs of our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. Any time
we talk about school safety, we need to address violence against LGBT
youth. In an age when most schools have instituted 'zero tolerance
policies' on racial and ethnic slurs,'faggot' and' dyke' are still the insults
of choice. The average high school student hears anti-gay epithets twentyfive times a day, and ninety-seven percent of the time, teachers fail to
respond. When compared to their heterosexual peers, lesbian and gay
youth are three to four times more likely to be threatened with a weapon
in school.
Enacting hate crime laws is an absolute necessity. However, creating a
world in which no lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender youth has to
fear for his or her physical well-being will require a commitment to end
anti-gay bias in our schools. You might think schools in our area aren't
homophobic ...aren' t racist. It's one thing to think this and another to be
actively working against racism, sexism, heterosexism, anti-Semitism,
ableism, lookism, and classism.
Did you know that days before Matthew was attacked, a court in Hawaii
sentenced the murderer of a gay man to a simple misdemeanor offense,
with a maximum sentence of one year?
Did you hear about the murder of the abortion doctor, Dr. BamettSlepian,
who was gunned down in New York in front of his children, or the 7
year old black girl who was raped by a white teenager in Las Vegas
while the perpetrator's friend watched guard? In June, James Byrd, a
Texas man, was beaten and dragged behind a truck until he died because
he was black?
The culture of intolerance that led to these attacks is nurtured by school
communities that have systematically failed to address and end bias in
all its forms. We should not be surprised by these horrific tragedies when:
1. Religious conservatives spend over half a million dollars on ads saying
homosexuals recruit and molest children, and face an early death unless

The hanging of Matthew Shepherd on that fence in Wyoming was described at a
meeting of the Men's Rap Group at the TCC, as a crucifixion. The symbolism is
so appropriate that, whether conscious or not, it had to have an effect on the
general public. The reaction across the nation to the cruel torture and hanging
does resemble Christ's tortured journey while carrying the cross and wearing
the crown of thorns (crushed skull), including the long time between the actual
nailing to the cross and His and Matthew's dying.
In the case of Matthew Shepherd one might ask, "Who represents Pontius Pilater'
That dishonor could easily belong to the Fallwells, the Pat Robertsons and the
other blindly accepting followers of the Christian Right (Though, I can't see them
as either Christian or right). These thoughtless followers and the political vultures
parroting them, hope to garner monetary contributions and/ or votes. These votes
are bought at the expense of the blood and lives of people they find as easy
targets for their agendas. Pilate, succumbing to the demands of the mob,
sentenced Christ to death and then washed his hands thus declaring himself
blameless and without guilt. How much do the hypocritical religious leaders,
hiding in the pages of the Bible, declare themselves blameless of the attacks on
members of the gay community? They actually place the blame of these attacks
on the aggrieved rather than themselves. Those attacked, say the Christian Right,
bring the attacks on themselves because they do not have the right mind set.
They conveniently forget and/ or ignore the fact that Christ preached Love and
understanding. Instead, they condone, if not incite, hate and murder with the
self-righteous, frenzied beating of their breasts on their way to earning their seat
in heaven. Perhaps they wish to usurp Christ's position on the right side of God.
How many suicides of young, frightened and impressionable gays and lesbians
can be laid at the feet of those who incessantly damn and condemn these young
people? Who do we fault when parents disown their gay child, now wandering
the streets, trying to survive in an alien, degrading world? Who do we fault
when gays, fearing the consequences ofleaving the "closet'', feel forced to choose
separation rather than rejection and condemnation by those who should have
protected them? Gays, who prefer to remain silent rather than being thrown out,
think that they retain some semblance, however tremulous, of self worth. Where
can they find shelter and solace, understanding and compassion, in a world
enslaved by too many hate oriented religious cults?
On December 7th, PBS aired the "Battle of the Bulge" and "D" Day with their
horrific loss of life and the little that it seemed to matter to anyone concerned or
involved. For the first time Americans were being shown soldiers sitting on the
frozen dead bodies of German soldiers while eating their lunch. Even though
we are aware of such actions on both sides, years have dulled the pictures in our
conscience almost to the degree that it seems as if it never happened. I hope that
this will not be true of what Matthew Shepherd suffered. The killing of an
individual does not always result in just his/her dying. There are other deaths,
longer lasting, less desirable and more painful. That chamber of love and affection
that we reserve for the special people in our lives is now cold and barren. Never
forgotten, but .... never to be occupied again. Was the "Matthew" spark in all of
us also extinguished?
Paul Kowaleski

11

Greenwich Volunteers
PFL.AG o1 Southern Connecticut
is seeking gay, lesbian, bisexual,
ortransgender residents of Greenwich to senie on "lr.lrious town
comrittees. Contact Jeanette
M:iye o1 the .Affirmative Action
..Advisory Cormittee at 869-1138
ext. 102 or 869-5940.

cure.d.,,

2. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott called gay people "diseased,"
comparing them to alcoholics and kleptomaniacs.
3. The House Republican leadership bragged that they "stopped" the
hate crimes bill just days after Matthew Shepard's death.
Quoting from President Clinton at the first annual Hate Crimes Summit
last October, "Let's teach our children before they learn to hate."
Peace be with you all.
-7-

("

T NEWS & VIEWS
Westport's Brook Re-Opens
Four months after hosting what was billed as its final, historic bash,
The Cedar Brook Cafe, the 59 year-old dean of gay bars, has
reopened with a gala, a crowded affair from which many guests
were turned away for lack of space. This marked the end of the
short hiatus from what would otherwise have been the second
longest continuous run of any gay bar in the United States, The
oldest bar, Cafe Lafitte, is in New Orleans.
"I didn't want to see the bar finished/' said new owner and 24-year
patron Clem Bellairs. "The gay community needed the place. The
bar was previously operated by Sean Arena, but when his lease ran
out he closed the cafe and opened a new bar, The Townhouse, on
Wall Sheet in Norwalk.
The owner of the Post Road property and building, Paul Kish, had
originally planned to convert the lot into retail stores, but decided
to give the bar another chance after his plans fell through and Bellairs
made a sentimental protest. "It's pumped and rejuvenated, you can
feel the electricity." he said of Saturday's reception. "Everybody
was very happy and thanking me. But I feel guilty taking credit, it
was strictly a financial move."

1999
NJ /NY /CT
Bisexual
SAVE TH ,S WEEKE",D

February 5-7

Transgender News
American Boyz Hold True Spirit Conference
The American Boyz are pleased to announce the Third Annual True
Spirit Conference to be held at the Best Western Maryland Inn in
Laurel, Maryland from February 26 - 28, 1999. This three day
conference focuses on the social, physical, emotional, spiritual and
relational health of all gender variant people on the FfM spectrum
and their significant others, friends, families, and allies.
Workshops and panel presentations to be held during this 3rd
annual event address such topics as: health and transition issues,
relationships, special needs populations, law, politics, employment,
and spirituality. True Spirit 1999 is committed to offering inclusive
programming for young people, people of color and elders. Special
workshops and caucus opportunities will be available for service
providers. Featured speakers include Jude Patton, long term ftm
and health advocate, Kitten Gross, family and transyouth advocate,
and Dr. Michael L. Brownstein, M.D., FACS, ftm surgeon, as well
and many others. Other events of note scheduled for True Spirit
1999 are: authors readings and chat sessions, exhibit hall with
information and merchandise, film festival, and the American Boys
Award Ceremony. Conference registration fee ranges from $60- $80
with work scholarship and housing assistance available on a first
come first serve basis. There are two options for registration: one,
download and complete registration form from the internet at
www.netgsi.com/-listwrangler or two, request a conference flyer
from The American Boyz/True Spirit 1999 at PO Box 1118, Elkton,
MD, 21922-1118.
The American Boyz is an organization for female to male gender
variant people (FfMs) of any orientation, including but not limited
to tomboys, butches, f2ms, transmen, drag kings, masculine females,
crossdressers, intersexuals, and those who support us, including
our Significant Others, Friends, Families and Allies (SOFFAs).
American Boyz, Inc, PO Box 1118, Elkton, MD, 21922-1118.

CONFUSED? SCARED? NOWHERE TO TURN?
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If you have HIV/AIDS, you don't need to feel like you

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225 MAIN

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Problem focused psychotherapy for Adults,
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Speclallzlng In, but not limited to:

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Stamford, CT 06906
(203) 964-1847
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llrklgeport, CT 06606
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Depression

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Psychotherapy Groups •

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Voice 20:J I 389-8614

T NEWS & VIEWS
National News

Dockers Spotlight Gay Achievements

Gays Don't Earn More
Makers of upscale products from expensive liquors to designer
clothing have for years devised gay marketing strategies based on
one common assumption: Gays typically earn more money than their
heterosexual counterparts. But that stereotype is a fallacy, says a
report released by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and an
influential economics professor at the University of Massachusetts
at Amherst. The report, "Income Inflation: The Myth of Affluence
Among Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Americans," concludes that most
marketing studies have mistakenly focused on upscale gays and do
not accurately reflect the gay population. The study is certain to
surprise marketers nationwide who long presumed that gays are
perfect targets for many upscale products. Marketers estimate gays
and lesbians account for 3% to 6% of the U.S. population and pack
an annual spending wallop of $99 billion to $198 billion. Badgett's
report is based on data amassed from seven other studies, including
a 1998 updating of the 1990 U.S. Census, the Yankelovich Monitor
and the General Social Survey, conducted by the National Opinion
Research Center. All three studies concluded that gay men actually
make 4 % to 7% less than the average heterosexual man.

President Dines with Gays
Thirty-one Gays involved in business and philanthropic endeavors
contributed $401,CXX) to the Democratic National Committee at a
fundraising dinner in Washington, D.C., in which President Clinton
attended as the guest of honor. The event, which called on
contributors to pay $10,CXX) or more per person, pulled in $111,CXX)
more than a similar "Gay" DNC fundraiser one year earlier. At last
year's event, 25 Gays paid a minimum of $10,CXX) each for the
privilege of dining with Clinton.

One of the world's largest clothing manufacturers is courting gay
customers with an advertising campaign linked to charitable
organi2:ations. A special insert for Dockers, the Levi Strauss & Co.
khaki pants brand, highlights the achievements of 10 gay men and
women. The ads focus on the social and creative accomplishments
of the selected actors, writers, advocates and athletes, and appears
in the November issue of Out. The 10 include Olympic gold medallist
Bruce Hayes, photographer Eve Fowler, writer Brad Gooch, and
actors Guinevere Turner, Mitchell Anderson and Wilson Cruz. The
campaign, photographed by Carter Smith, arrives along with an
effort to eradicate homophobia. The company established the
Dockers Khakis Youth United Against Bias Scholarships, which will
send young people to a Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network conference. Dockers Khakis also made a donation to the
Hetrick Martin Institute, which provides care services to gay youth.

Iowa City Is Gay Haven
When Iowa City was ranked 55th on a national magazine's list of
"Best Lesbian Places to Live," the locals didn't get mad, they invited
the editor to visit. The result? low a City received the editor's choice
award from Girlfriends magazine in this year's rankings, which
appear in its December issue. Iowa City resident Robin Butler said
the city hasn't ranked h~gh on previous Girlfriends lists because it
doesn't have a lesbian nightclub. But that's only because Iowa City's
heterosexual community is so accepting of lesbians, she said.
Girlfriends' top 10 cities, based on reader surveys and such factors
as job growth, housing costs and unemployment, are: Long Beach,
Calif.; Seattle, Wash.; Portland, Ore.; Brooklyn, N.Y.; Oakland, Calif.;
Dallas, Texas; New Orleans, La.; Columbus, Ohio; Provincetown,
Mass.; and Portland, Maine.

PeterScifo

MFAP

E

ON

MID-E:\IRHELD AIDS PROJECT

Do you seek support and advocacy for HIV/AIDS?
MFAP can assist and provide you with case management

Street, Stamford, C0rn
Telephone: 203-348-9880"'

Call us today!

Serving the needs of HIV/AIDS community in:

Norwalk
Westport
Weston
Wilton

Maureen M. Murphy
27 Elm Street
New Haven, CT 06510

Mid Fairfield AIDS Project

(203) 789-2269

16 River Street
Norwalk, CT 06850
Phone: (203) 855-9535
Fax: (203) 855-1531
Internet: http://www.mfap.com
E-Mail: info@mfap.com

Fax (203) 789-2<)c)7

E-mail: mmurph/aw@aol.com
Civil Rights
Employment Law

Title IX
-9-

Special Education law
Family Law
"Lesbian & Gay "Legal Rigl1ts

T NEWS & VIEWS
8% Increase in Anti-Gay Hate Crimes

Gay Bridge Tournament

An 8 percent increase in reported hate crimes against gays and
lesbians in 1997 was among the statistics released by the Federal
Bureau of Investigations (FBI) Uniform Crime Reporting Program.
This increase is particularly troubling since overall serious crime
continues its decrease. The FBI report, released Sunday, Nov. 22,
found that 1,102 crimes targeting people because of their sexual
orientation were committed in 1997. This was an eight percent
increase over the 1,016 bias-motivated incidents reported to the FBI
in 1996. In 1995, the FBI reported 1,019 hate crimes based on sexual
orientation.
Currently, only 21 states and the District of Columbia include sexual
orientation in their state hate crimes statutes. Eighteen states have
hate crimes laws that do not include sexual orientation, and eight
states have no hate crimes statutes whatsoever. Three states have
laws that are unclear.

Announcing the First Annual North
American Gay Bridge Tournament to be
held in St. Petersburg, Florida March 5 - 7,
1999. The tournament will be hosted at the
Suncoast Resort Hotel, the world's largest
gay resort with 120 rooms, 34 retail shops,
6 bars, 2 restaurants, a gym, a pool, 2
sandlot volleyball courts and 10 tennis
courts. Located at 3000 34th Street South
(US Highway 19) it is only minutes away
from Fort Desoto Beach, rated one of the
top ten beaches in the world.
This event was inspired by the bridge
event at Gay Games V in Amsterdam in
August 1998. With 352 participants from around the world, it was
the first and largest gay bridge event of it's kind. Team Tampa Bay
decided to go ahead with plans for this event. Team Tampa Bay was
formed in 1997 to organize athletes to go to Gay Games V in
Amsterdam, and also to foster more gay athletic events in the Tampa
Bay area. The bridge tournament is their first effort.
The American Contract Bridge League (ACBL} has given the
tournament a sectionlll rating. Masters points will be awarded,
however you do not need to be a member of ACBL to play. The
tournament is open to anyone. Friday evening a charity pairs event
will be played, with the proceeds to benefit the Federation of Gay
Games. Saturday will be a two-session open pairs event, and Sunday
will be a two-session swiss team event. A partnership table will be
available to match players up into pairs and teams.
For more information you can contact Jerry Keeran, the tournament
organizer, at 813-258-6274, or via e-mail at jkeeran@cftnet.com Team
Tampa Bay can be reached at 727-867-8855, or via e-mail at
teamtampa@aol.com. Their address is P.O. Box 21552, St. Petersburg,
FL 33742-1552.

A Question of Commitment
Craig Gibson and H. Leslie Brown
made Washington Post history a few
weeks ago. The Post published a paid
Style section announcement that the
two men had been "joined in Holy
Union" at the Universalist National
Memorial Church. In changing its
policy by accepting the paid notice, the
paper waded into the controversy over
publishing word of same-sex commitment ceremonies. But The Post
will not run such notices on the wedding announcement page.
Stephen Hills, the paper's vice president for advertising, says The
Post acted in response to "periodic complaints" and "strongly held
feelings about the lack of a place to have [same-sexJannouncements."
But the wedding page "is a place where we have always published
legally recognized marriages, and we decided to keep it that way,"
he says.
- ~ r a Ion Posl

ALDIS

Maria C. Castillo, MSW, LCSW

_'11ffi_.4_6_~-ill_Pla_~_n
-Roa_p~---Do-nb_ur_y.-CT-06-81_1_*
(203)778•9399

Individual, Couples, and Family Therapy
RecoYe,y from Abuse

FAX (203)744•1139

Bilingual

Three de~ades of GAY travel expertise

(203) 261-3492

(203) 336-2708
Bridgeport.CT

Monroe.CT

-RSVP

JOSEPH H. SWEENEY, CPA

Joan W. Duncan, Ph.D.

ATTORNEY-AT LAW

1305 POST ROAD, FAIRFIELD
203/256-3839

Psychotherapist
Women and Couples

Tax Planning, Preparation & Appeals;
Estates & Trusts, Probate Matters,

188 Scribner Avenue
Norwalk, CT 06854
(203) 854-4805

Real Estate Law; Elder Law; and
Small Business Formations and Assistance
-10-

T NEWS & VIEWS
MD - Insurance Extends Domestic Coverage

State by State News
Saying they didn't want same-sex marriages performed in their
churches, Southern Baptists in Georgia voted yesterday to' exclude
congregations that "endorse" homosexuality. The Rev. J. Gerald
Harris, president of the denomination's state convention, said
Southern Baptists welcome gay individuals but can't allow churches
to advocate their behavior. Delegates voted to warn churches they
should not knowingly take any action to affirm, approve or endorse
homosexual behavior if they want to remain in the convention, the
denomination's second largest in the nation behind Texas.

A Baltimore couple's challenge to state insurance regulations has
opened the door for greater opportunities for gay men and lesbians
to get health-care coverage for domestic partners through their
employers. On Oct. 21, the state regulatory body, the Maryland
Insurance Administration (MIA), issued a bulletin lifting what had
been a state regulation barring the extension of large-group
workplace health insurance to family members "not related by blood,
marriage, or adoption." The state Health Care Access and Cost
Commission (HCACC), which oversees small-group coverage (for
companies with 50 or fewer employees), has recommended that its
commissioners follow in MIA' s footsteps .
[NOTE: That approval was granted on Nov. 12.]

IL - Gays Protest

ME - Gays Seek Referendum In 2000

Forty to 50 gay rights activists marched outside the Cook County
Building in Chicago, chanting and carrying signs protesting Illinois'
ban on same-sex marriage. The demonstrators called on Gov.-elect
George Ryan to push for changes in the law. Ryan opposes samesex marriage but has said he would support making sexual
orientation a class protected from discrimination under the Human
Rights Act. After the march, 10 couples tried to obtain marriage
licenses but were turned down.

Less than a year after Maine voters repealed a law to bar
discrimination against homosexuals, gay rights supporters are
pushing for another statewide referendum in November 2000. At a
meeting attended by about 70 people, including several legislators
and members of gay and lesbian organizations, there was
overwhelming agreement that the time was right to ask the
Legislature to re-enact a gay rights law. Michael Heath, executive
director of the Christian Civic League of Maine, said that his
organization would actively oppose any attempt to re-enact a gay
rights law.

GA - Southern Baptists Address Homosexuality

IL - Phelps Supporters Strikes Again
For the second time since Nov. 22, supporters of a Southern Baptist
preacher confronted gay-rights activists outside a Lakeview church.
Rev. Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church, based in Topeka, Kan.,
appeared in Chicago last month to protest the marriage of two gay
men by the pastor of the Broadway United Methodist Church. Phelps
did not appear in person, but at least a half dozen of his relatives
and supporters did. The preacher's absence did not stop about 200
gay-rights activists and other Lakeview residents from spending
hours shouting at each other across police barricades.

Ml - House Passes Measure to Protect Gays
The Michigan House has passed an amendment to the state's "hate
crime" law that would include II sexual orientation" among the bias
motivations designated in the law. The vote recalls House action
taken over ten years ago to protect crime victims who are targeted
based on sexual orientation bias. The measure may now be taken
up by the Senate and could become law by the end of this session.
A broad coalition of groups had come together to advocate the bill.

1

'9"

MICHAEL PAVLICIN

9

BUYER AGENT/BROKER

•1

.JJ.1. ) TILGHMAN &. FROSTf#A~lNC

JOANNE M. MARINO, C.C.M.H.C., N.C.C.
PSYCHOTHERAPIST

92S POST ROAD EAST, WESTPORT, CT 06880

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21 STRICKLAND RD .. COS COB. CONN . 06807 (203) 869-0216

Horticultural Botanist
Gardener & House I Pet Sitter

OFFICE: (203) 227-7231
FAX: (203) 227-1217
VOICEMAIL: (203) 221,2297

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NICHOLAS LANG, Ph.D., N.C.C.
Providing Affordable
Individual and Couples Counseling
Specializing in Relationship,
Sexual Orientation, Self-esteem,
Loss, & HIV-related Issues

Donald J. Comes
(203) 866-2823
30 7lerney Street
Norwalk, CT 06851

NORWALK OFFICE
-11-

847-1094

T NEWS & VIEWS
NY - Date Bait

OR - Ban On Gay Job Discrimination

Steven Prescott, was braving Date Bait, a brutally efficient, hightech mixer that tries to ease the sting of face-to-face rejection by using
a computer to make matches. Created two years ago, Date Bait has
become a huge draw among gay men in their 30s and 40s, and the
Saturday night events, held at A Different Light bookstore on West
19th Street, are often so crowded that dozens are turned away at the
door. So far, Risemberg says, his matchmaking method has produced
4,837 dates, although he does not track how many of those led to
second dates.
Date Bait affairs couldn't be less fussy: identified with a nametag
and three-digit number, participants sit on chairs that are arranged
in a square. After each person has stood and delivered a brief
description of himself, the seats are cleared for 45 minutes of
ferocious mingling. The mixing done, participants turn to their score
cards and begin shading in the ovals that correspond to the numbers
worn by the prospects who appeal to them. Then comes a nervous
20-minute wait as the forms are fed into a scanner, which tabulates
and coldly spits out pairs of matching numbers.

An Oregon court has done what state lawmakers have been
unwilling to do for years - ban discrimination against homosexuals
in the workplace. The Court of Appeals has ruled that the domestic
partners of three lesbian employees at Oregon Health Sciences
University were entitled to the same benefits given to the spouses
of married employees. The "denial of insurance benefits to the
unmarried partners" of homosexual employees violated the equal
protection provisions of the Oregon Constitution, the three-judge
panel wrote. Though the university and Oregon state government
voluntarily began offering benefits to unmarried partners last June,
the court ruling nailed down the obligations. The ruling could require
other state government entities to provide benefits to same-sex
domestic partners, and to the thousands of teachers, police officers
and others who work for local governments. Private employers
were not specifically required under the ruling to offer the benefits.

NY - Pataki Administration Makes Grants
The Empire State Pride Agenda Foundation is regarding the
allocations to 11 community groups, totalling $1 million as an historic
acknowledgment by an administration in Albany that the needs of
gays and lesbians extend well beyond
AIDS. The grants, ranging from $50,000 to
$125,000, are the first of their kind in New
York for non-AIDS related programs
within the homosexual community. The
money will be spent on programs to
identify homosexual youths at risk of suicide, of drug or alcohol
abuse, of dropping out of school and other problems and getting
them help. Each of the groups is well aware of the longer-term
significance of the state grants. Once a continuing program receives
state funding, the odds become better that that program will keep
getting money each year from Albany.

UT- Judge Rules for Lesbian Teacher
A federal judge has ruled in favor of a high school teacher who
claimed she was fired as volleyball coach because she is a lesbian.
Wendy Weaver said Spanish Fork High School officials violated her
rights with a gag order that prevented her from talking with students
or staff about her sexual orientation, even outside of school. Judge
Bruce Jenkins agreed that her rights of free speech, equal protection
and due process were violated. He ordered the school district to
offer Weaver the coaching position, lift the gag order and give her
$1,500 in damages. The Weaver case has attracted national attention
because of the precedent it could set for how public schools treat
homosexual teachers and coaches.

Trivia
Answer to December - Bridgeport, Connecticut
Question for January - In August of 1989 a young man from
Whitesburg, Georgia named Arthur Ray Denson held a news
conference at the Cotswold Inn in Westport. What was his news
conference announcing?
(203) 256-4565
(800) 628-7209
FAX: (203) 256-1759
jnemis@sol.com

Office
566 Whalley Avenue, Suite #ID
New Haven, CT 06511
T 203-389-6750, F 203-389-63 I 8

Rtw.Frank&Jartl
Pllstor

Worship
34 Harrison Street
New Haven, CT 06515
Sundays 9:30 a .m . and 4:00 p.m.

JOANN ATTWOOD NEMIS
VICE PRESIDENT INVESTMENTS

Metropolitan Community Church
olNewHal'Bn

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CT 06877 • 203-431-8278
-12-

·T NEWS & VIEWS
VT - Supreme Court Hears Case
When Nina Beck went into labor and frightening complications
developed, her lesbian partner, Stacy Jolles, tried to go into the
emergency room with her. But she was stopped at the door, she
said, and asked, "Who are you? Do you have legal papers to be
there?" Ms. Beck's son, Noah, was born with a heart defect, and
died last year at age 2. But, Ms. Jolles said today, "Noah is very
much here with us today. He would want us very much to be
married, and he would want us to pursue this to the end." She spoke
in the lobby of the Vermont Supreme Court on the day that Vermont
became the central arena in the United States for the push for
marriage between people of the same sex.
Hawaii seemed positioned to become the first state to legalize
samesex marriage after a 1993 state Supreme Court preliminary
decision leaning in its favor; then an Alaska court case seemed to
put that state next in line. But in this month's elections, Alaskan and
Hawaiian voters rejected the idea in ballot initiatives.
So now, it is Vermont's turn. The court is expected to rule within
months. Vermont's legislature has passed extensive laws protecting
gay men and lesbians from discrimination, and the state has been in
the vanguard on recogrupng "second-parent adoptions": allowing
the member of a gay or lesbian couple who is not the biological
parent of a child to officially become its second parent. But Vermont's
Supreme Court has not been easily categorized as liberal or
conservative. And the state, though known as home to a liberal,
back-to-the-land contingent, also has a strong streak of
traditionalism. So no one is making confident prediction about when,
if ever, same-sex marriage will be allowed here.
Sources
A Question - Wash Post, Nov. 23
Dockers - Dallas News, Nov. 18
Travel - Florida -Sentinel, Nov. 24
Gays Don't Earn - USA Today, Dec. 3
IL - Protest - Oucago Ttmes, Nov. 28
IL - Phelps - Oucago Tribune, Dec. 7
Iowa City - Des Moines Regis., Nov. 30
Movie - Boston Globe, Dec. 5

MD - Ins. -Baltimore City, Nov. 18
NY - Date Bait -NYTtmes, Dec. 6
OR - Ban -Phila Inquire, Nov. 13
President -Wash Blade, Dec. 4
Stamford -Advocate, Nov. 17
Standing -Advocate (mag}, Dec. 8
VT - Supreme, NYTtmes, Dec. 6
Westport's Brook-The Hour-Nov. 23

Media News
Lesbian Movie Spurs India Melee
When Sidheshwar Dayal saw his 700-seat movie theater in
downtown New Delhi packed day after day, he regretted booking
"Fire" for just three weeks. Then, on the last day of its screening, 20
men and women armed with bars stormed into the theater, smashed
ticket windows, busted food counters, and slashed billboards. The
protesters shouted that the award-winning tale of lesbian romance
is vulgar and must be banned. Fearful of similar attacks, other movie
theaters in the Indian capital withdrew the film. "Fire" marks the
first time that India's conservative censor board has given the green
light to a movie that tackles a taboo subject here, homosexuality. In
"Fire," the scene that most scandalized protesters shows the leading
actresses passionately kissing. What irks critics most is that the allIndian cast articulates a fact of life that middle-class Indians know
exists, but is seldom discussed in this patriarchal society. All Bombay
cinemas suspended screenings after the incidents. Movie theaters
in two other cities withdrew the film because of threats. Abroad,
"Fire" was banned in Singapore and Kenya, where there are large
Indian communities. The film was a box-office success in Europe
and the United States. In New York last year, moviegoers formed
lines that twisted around the block to see it.

Gay Travel Network
A new California firm called Access Alliance
offers customized travel planning and other
services for gays and lesbians. For an annual
fee of $20, the firm makes referrals to travel
agents who can recommend gay-friendly
domestic and international destinations,
hotels, resorts, car rentals and cruises. Ongoing perks for members
(who don't have to be gay) include dining, skiing and rental-car
bonuses. New members also get a discount of up to $100 on air travel,
usable on most major carriers. For more information, call 800-6932349.

MICHAEL G. SAAD, MA, LCSW

Visit our Web site at: http://members.aol.com/TCCenter/

LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER

Triangle Community Center

COUNSELING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
FOR ADULTS, ADOLESCENTS, COUPLES, FAMILIES

Norwalk,CT

ff
6527 MAIN STREET
TRUMBULL, CT 06611

''Many H,arts, O,u UJ11111l111t1Jy •

ff

Serving the lesbian/gay/bi/tg community oE southwestern Connecticut

BY APPOf NTMENT
(203) 459-1666

MICHAEL D. ROME
Attorney-at-Law
PIRRO, CHURCH & COOK, LLC

Bankruptcy
Business Transactions
Social Security Disability
Divorce

Personal lnjurylAccident Law
Real Estate Transactions
Criminal
Taxation: Business & Individual

Worker's Compensation

Estate Planning & Probate

Michelle C. Loris, Psy.D.
Individual, Couple and Group Therapy

120 EAST A VENUE
NORWALK, CONNECTICUT 06851
Phone:(203) 259-6785 or (203) 853-6677

Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
-13-

(203) 255-2767
By Appointment

T NEWS & VIEWS
UGWllllltt
Oall 853-81101111th YO ■ r dnatlo ■.

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Being a gay man or lesbian today can stir up many
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to build new focus in your life, and grow into your
strengths and unique character. Please call me at
(203) 454-1549 for a complimentary consultation, and
find out how you can overcome your problems and get
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Many Issues:
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Licensed: State of Connecticut

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Office: 203.846.1611 ext. 218
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Call Paul Thury-203.846.1611 ext. 218

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Office: (203) 847-2806
-14-

il[l~l l ~il i l ~~l~l i '~lil li[l~l l lil\'illi"'

Univl11

T NEWS & VIEWS

v,,

Property of the Center

M 001 111 383
TRIANGLE COMMUNITY CENTER, INC.
P.O. BOX 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855
TeJ/Fax: (203) 853-0600
e-mail TCCenter@aol.com

TELEPHONE DIRECTORIES
GROUPS MEETING AT OR SPONSORED BY TCC
A.A. - Don 762-9964
Bi Rap Group - Peter 838-2806; Robin 855-8646
35+ Women's Pot Lucks - Judy 227-7162
Free Association of Fairfield County-Bruce 782-1496
Gay Men's Rap Group - Dave 838-1881
Gmosaic (People of Color) - Nasheed 854-7726
Lesbian Literature Reading Group - Christine 847-8476
Out & About (20's & 30's) - Heather 924-2930, Ashley 576-1073
or Dan 838-2367
OutSpoken (Youth)-Perry & Sara 846--4569; Dan 227-1755;
Doug 838-2367
P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays) Joan 544-8724; Lester 322-5380; Belinda 855-1203
P-FLAG Spouses & Ex Spouses Group - Joan 544-8724
Triangle Bowling League (Circle Lanes, Fairfield) - Lisa 333-3113;
Roseann 931-8789
Women's Rap Group - Chandra 226-8652; Linda 866--4598;
Michele 438--4465
Writer's Group- Mona 863-1553
All meetings are held at the Center and in the evening unless
otherwise noted. A $3 donation per person is appreciated with your
participation in activities to help support the Center.

OTHER AREA GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS
Bare & Gay (B&G) gay nudists
(203) 330-9595
Bisexually Curious Support Group Bpt
(203) 264-5605
Chiltern Mountain Club
(203) 899-0270
Connecticut Kids and Families
(203) 256-8414
Connecticut Freedom to Marry Coalition
(203) 791-9553
40-Up Club Social Group
(203) 238--4069
Gay Fathers Group
(203) 866-7051
Gay Mens Association of Danbury
(203) 778-7016
GEMS (Mature GLBT)
(860) 688-1881
GuideLine (gay/lesbian phone info)
(203) 366-3734
Hartford Community Center
(203) 724-5542
Married Men's Bisexual Suppt Grp Htfd
(203) 262,1555
Metropolitan Community Church
(203) 389-6750
Rainbow Task Force (Unitarian Church)
(203) 222-1441
Transgendered Resource - Kaylen
(203) 661-2448
The Loft, White Plains NY,
(914) 948--4922
Triangle Bowling League
(203) 931-8789
Triangle Kids
(203) 323-6278 & (203) 255-6229
Western Connecticut Gay Men's Group
(203) 773-9947
Call (203) 964-1133 for free listing.

WHERE ARE WE? The Triangle Community Center Inc. is
located at 25 Van Zant Street in Norwalk. From 1-95, take
Exit 16 and go south (from Stamford, turn right; from New
Haven, turn left). Continue south under the railroad bridge
and turn right on Van Zant St. (Route 136). 25 Van Zant is a
large condominium office building on the right. TCC is in
Suite 7-C on the ground floor. Tel. (203) 853-0600.

Deadline for the February Newsletter is Saturday, January
19th • We cannot gaurantee that material received after this
date will be included in the February News & Views.

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
DON BUXTON.................... President
DENYSE BURKE ..................Vice-President
JOHN WALLACE ............... .Treasurer
MEG BACHTEL.. ................. Corresponding Secretary
DAVE CARROLL.. ............... Recording Secretary
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
MEG BACHTEL
JIM BRIDGE
DON BUXTON
DENYSE BURKE
DAVE CARROLL
KAREN JASTERMSKY
MICHELE STONE
JOHN WALLACE

(203) 375-9020
(203) 847-3268
(203) 762-9964
(203) 367-3911
(203) 838-1881
(203) 853-0600
(203) 964-1133
(203) 389-7381

STANDING COMMITTEES
AIDS Liaison
Tom M
Board Development Vacant
Communications
John D
-Public Relations
Mike C
Finance
John W
Fundraising
Jim B
Membership '
Denyse B
-Member Database
Marianne S
Cindy M
Operations
(and to schedule events at the Center)
Program
Dave C
Resource Room
Walter D
-Center Forums
Marianne S
Volunteer
Karen J

374-6934
334-3822
375-3567
261-7349
847-3268
367-3911
222-8294
595-9799
838-1881
374-6934
222-8294
899-0381

NEWS& VIEWS
Is published monthly by
Triangle Community Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 4062, East Norwalk, CT 06855.
NEWS & VIEWS encourages its readers to submit materials of interest
to our community, including short articles, letters to the editor, etc.
We cannot respond to, or publish, anonymous letters. We reserve
the right to edit or conaense as approP,riate to meet space
requirements Authors will be contacfed if major revisions are
necessary. Please submit to:

NEWS&VIEWS
Michele Stone: Editor & Advertising Manager
P.O. Box 8185
Phone/Fax: (203) 964-1133
Stamford, CT 06905
Mike Collins: Publicity
E-mail: NewsViews2@aol.com

Phone: (203) 375-8567

FOR AD RATES PLEASE CONTACT MICHELE STONE:
Ads must be camera-ready. Any ad not camera ready will
be subject to an additional charge. Inserts and special sizes
upon prior agreement. All ads are placed on a space available
basis.
The publication of the name of any person or organiz.ation in articles
or ads in NEWS & VIEWS is not to be construed as any indication of
the sexual orientation of such persons or members of such
organizations. The appearance of advertisements in NEWS & VIEWS
does not imply nor constitute endorsement by TCC, Inc. The views
expressed in this NEWS & VIEWS are not necessarily those of TCC,
Inc. Copyright 1997 by Triangle Community Center, Inc. All rights
reserveed. This work, or any parts thereof, may not be used or
reproduced in any manner without written permission.
-15-

TNEWS & VIEWS
TCC Calendar

January, 1999

Sun

Mon

Tues

Wed

Fri

Thu

2

II
3

4

5

6

AA 9-l0am
OutSpoken 4-6

Women's Rap 7:30

Lesbian Lit 7:30

10

11

12

AA 9-10 am
OutSpoken 4-6
TCC Anniversary 2-5

17
AA 9-l0am
OutSpoken 4-6

1:~~~-:4/4

Sat

Women's Rap 7:30

18

TCC Board 7:30
Writer's Group 7:30

19

7

P-FLAG 7:45

20

25

TCC Board 7:30
Writer's Group 7:30

21

28

N&V's Deadline
Nunsense 8

23

Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes
Nunsense 8

29

Men's Rap 7:30

Bi Rap Group 7:30
Spirituality Group 7

16

G-Mosaic 7 :30
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes
Nunsense 8

22

Men's Rap 7:30
Nunsense 8

27

9

Out &About 7:00
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes

15

Men's Rap 7:30

Bi Rap Group 7:30
Spirituality Group 7

P-FLAG Spouses &
Ex-spouses 7:30

26

/ ' " " " " . ' : W.m<"'•R,p730

14

13

Women's Rap 7:30

8

Men's Rap 7:30

Nunsense 8

30

Out & About 7:00
Bowl 9:30 Circle Lanes

Connecticut Calendar - January
Friday, Jan. 1 - Movie: "Mary Poppins" at the New Haven Gay
and Lesbian Community Center, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven. 6:30
PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 2 - Stephanie's Living Room presents its Holiday
Gala, at the Stratford Ramada Inn, 8:00 PM. Dance admission $10.00;
$5.00 for the physicallychallenged. For more information call 203377-2119.
Friday, Jan. 8 - Movie: "Casablanca" at the NHCLCC, 50 Fitch
Street, New Haven. 6:30 PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Friday, Jan.15 - Movie:" Antonia's Line" at the NHGLCC 6:30 PM
potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 16 - Another Octave/ Connecticut Women's Chorus
presents its annual Spaghetti and Song event, featuring the
Undertones, at the Unitarian Society in Hamden, 6:30 PM. For ticket
info please call 203-271-5284.
Sunday, Jan. 17 - The Gay Men's Book Group will be discussing
Single Man Christopher Isherwood, 7:00 PM, Ridgefield.
Sunday, Jan.17 - Another Octave/Connecticut Women's Chorus
presents its annual Spaghetti and Song event, featuring the
Undertones, at the Unitarian Society in Hamden, 5:30 PM. For ticket
info please call 203-271-5284.
Friday - Sunday, Jan. 22 - 24 - Brothers Together presents A New
Year Retreat For Men Who Love Men, a time for reflection and
connection in a supportive group of men. Cedar Hill Retreat Center,
Duxbury, MA. For more info call 617-247-3964.
Friday, Jan. 22 - Movie: "The Incredible True Story of Two Girls In
Love" at the NHGLCC 6:30 PM potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.
Saturday, Jan. 23 - paper tigers, authors of the Matthew Shepard
tribute "Just Like Me", will present their first concert for the Gay
community at the NHGLCC, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven, 8:00 PM.
Reservations strongly encouraged. $10.00 for non-center members,
$7.00 for members,$ 5.00 for students with ID.

Friday, Jan. 29 - Movie: "Moonstruck" at the New Haven Gay and
Lesbian Community Center, 50 Fitch Street, New Haven. 6:30 PM
potluck, 7:15 PM screening, $3.00.

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