The Herland Voice : v.18: no.8(2000)
- Title
- The Herland Voice : v.18: no.8(2000)
- Description
- The Herland Voice is the monthly publication of Herland Sister Resources, a womanist organization with a strong lesbian focus based in Oklahoma City.
- Date Issued
- 2000-08
- Rights
- All rights reserved by Herland Sister Resources. Contact UCO Archives & Special Collections for the permission policy on the use, reproduction or distribution of these materials.
- Is Part Of
- Herland Voice
- Creator
- Herland Sister Resources
- Date
- 2017-09-02T17:00:42Z
- Date Available
- 2017-09-02T17:00:42Z
- Subject
- Oklahoma
- Type
- application/pdf
- extracted text
-
August, 2000
A
HISTORY FOR
HERLAND
ICE
Imagine the year 2050. It will be a truly technological age, when we are all just a push button away.
How did we getto this place? What does it mean for
our growth as a community?
The Herland Oral History Projectwill be a wayto
find outwherewe're going by lookingatwherewe've
been. Over the next year we will be interviewing
people in our community to learn their accounts of
ourpast and thoughts about our future. We would like
your input as we proceed.
The Herland Oral Histocy Project will seek
women in our community who (1) remember a time
in the Oklahoma City area before Herland; and (2)
have been involved with Herland over the years.
Participants need to be willing to be interviewed on
audio tape and/orinterviewernotes. Ifpossible, we'd
like to take your photograph too.
All interviews will be processed so they may be
a resource for people interested in Herland's history. We would also like to deposit the histories with
the Lesbian Herstory Archive in New York city.
For those of you who would like to be interviewed, but would like to remain anonymous, be
assured that your privacy will be respected. All you
have to do is tell us: we '11 respect your wishes.
Dr. Jan Rosenberg will be conducting the interviews. She has been doing this kind ofwork for over
20 years. Ifyou would like to talk with Jan about the
project, feel free to call her at 945-0831 or e-mail,
herjer@ix. netcom. com.
Our history is as important as our future. Please
consider being a part of this valuable project.
Cl
Volume 18 Number 08
CREAM SoaAL/.1AM SESSION
Meet at Berland on August 12 for
an Ice Cream Social and Jam Session
that's happening at 7:00 P.M. Louise
Goldberg will be the Mistress of Ceremonies. A $5 .00 donation is requested,
unlessyou'rejammin' ("payorplay"). Wewillhaveseveral
freezers of homemade ice cream with
1' cookies and toppings. Come join us-~
it will be a (cool) blast!
Bringyourinstrumentsandyourtaste
for fun and the cool stuff Your Board of
Directors and your friends look forward
to seeing you on the 12th! Be there or be square.
Upcoming Herland Events
August 12 - The Supper Club will meet
at 5:00 at Chelino's at SW 59th and
Western.
August 12, 7:00 PM - Ice Cream
Social at Her/and See details above
August 20, 8:00 AM - Bike Ride.
MeetatN.E. 36thandColtrane fora JO mile ride
through theSpencerarea. Parkattheschool
August 20, 4:30 Her/and Board
Meeting. Open to all interested in being more
involved in Her/and
October 13 - 15 Her/and Fall
Retreat, Osage Hills State Park.
A limitednumber ofcomplimentaryretreat
registrations are aH:Jilable for workshop
presentors. If you have a workshop you'd like to
present, please senda briefdescription to
Her/and, 2312 NW 39, OKC, OK 73JJ2
Herland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112
SAINT SYBIL
·nil Ludington, Matron Saint of the Forgotten Woman, is an
oc...:asional contributor to this space.
Dear Saint Sybil,
A great many ofmy lesbian friends were molested or
sexually abused as children. I hate to think that our sexual
orientation is a negative reaction (disliking ofmen), rather
than a positive action (adoring women), but one has to
wonder. I know I adore women, but I also remember that
I was abused. Do you have any "wise woman" advice for
me?
Yours,
Jess Gottawonder
Dear Jess,
... So you think maybe women become lesbians because they were molested, and I guess men become gay
becausetheirmothers were smothering .... mass murderers
become vicious killers because someone spared the rod,
you lovechocolatebecausesomeoneforced them demmed
vanilla wafers on you when you were young, and Pat
Buchanan and Dr. Laura became mean blithering idiots
because people were too kind and loving and gentle with
themas kids ...
Nope, Jessie, not true. What is true is that while quite
a few lesbians were sexually abused as children, so also
were about ten times as many straight women Being
molested no more turns women into lesbians than it turns
straight women into heterosexuals. Okaydoke?
You know, many cultures celebrate homosexuality as a
gift from the Great Spirit; and so it's curious how the
dangerous canard that sex is only for opposites gained
credence in Western culture. One assumes it must have
come from big-city dwellers, people who lived their whole
benighted lives deprived ofthejoy of the outdoors. I mean,
don't farm animals and housepets and chimpanzees and
whole colonies of "lesbian" seagulls tell us anything?
Actually, fear ofhomosexuality is propagated byjust a
few-those in power, committed to maintaining privilege for
themselves and dominance over the many. All "isms" serve
those in power- racism, classism, ageism, anti-Semitism,
queerism (ok, homophobia), and the grandmother of all
isms, sexism I commend to you, dear Jessie, a wonderful
book by Suzanne Pharr, Homophobia, A Weapon of
Sexism.
P!U?e 2 Her/and Voice Jolv. 2000
Oops, lecturing again, sony. Now I will leave you with
one short story about amorous attraction and the futility of
trying to confine it in some artificial puritanical straightjacket: A friend ofmine I channel with from time to time has
a chihuahua/doxiernix who was spayed beforeherfirst heat.
That funny-looking little dog has never had the chance to
generate one sexual hormone; she's totally immune to even
the strongest pheromone- Rin Tin Tin, leave that little dog
alone, shedoesn'twantyou-youeither,Lassie, whatever
gender you are- There is no sexual spark in this little dog
at all, none, - except, that is, when my friend settles in for
the night and puts on her adorable pink fuzzy bunny slippers
- Goodness, hide your eyes, children, and bar the door!
That little poodle is determined that those slippers will be the
mother ofherpuppies. What a spectacle, I blush to think of
it
So, my dear, love whom you want, make love with
whom you will (always, ofcourse, leaving those puppies and
fuzzy slippers alone), and rejoice always in your life and your
love.
Peace(&Love), Sybil
CJ
Individual, couples or family counseling. Accessible rates. Call for a
Wednesdayeveningappointment. Jo
L. Soske, Phd, LPC, CADC 879-2226
www.herlandsisters.org
Herland Board of Directors:
Laura Choate
Joanna Fife, Secretary
Jacqueline Gatewood
DTH
Pat Reaves, Co-Chair
Jerri Schaben
Denise Smith
Judy Walden
Ginger McGovern, Treasurer
The Voice Is published by: Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community dscourse.
Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not necessariy
those of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and
letters to the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer
wfth full name and address. Upon request, letters or articles may
be printed under a pseudonym or anonymously.
Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request although a
donation is requested to meet publcation end clstnbution costs.
IN REvIEW
by Jill Gamer
Well, I never am the first one on the block to have the
latest technology, but I'm usually not the last either! My
girlfriend and I just madethe move to digital cable (mainly
so we could get more women's sportsonESPN2) and now
I may never watch TV again (except for that women's
sports thing)! I've discovered a couple ofmusic channels
andsofarlhaven'twatchedasingleTVshow. Inowhave
a good radio station, and commercial free at that, so what
do I need with TV?
So far my favorite station is called Post Country. Yeah,
I agree, whatthe&*%$doespostcountrymean? It'skind
oflike a good Americana station and I've heard people like
Iris Dement, Neko Case, Roseanne Cash, Slaid Cleaves,
Dave Alvin, Kelly Willis, Bruce Robison, Steve Forbert,
andRayPrice. Yes, that'sright,RayPrice. Themanwho
sings true country music at its best is considered post
country. Whatever. There's also another station that plays
bluegrass at certain times ofthe day that I have stumbled
upon, and it's great. I've already heard a number of
musiciansl'veonlybeenabletoreadaboutsofar. Soifyou
have digital cable, check out some ofthe music stations!
Now I just need it in my car and I'll be all set! Actually one
ofthe car companies, maybe GM, is planning to install some
sort of satellite system in their cars where you can get
commercial free radio ofthe format you choose, andit will
be available to install in other makes of cars, for the right
price ofcourse, in the not too distant future. I'm saving my
money now!
Speaking ofradio, I just read that KSPI, The Spy, in
Stillwater, has changed formats fromaltemativerockto the
same bland pop that everyone else is playing. According to
their research, that's what people, and more importantly,
advertisers, want. The people who listen to alternative rock
don'tmakequiteenoughmoneyto make advertisers happy.
The Spy was the only station playingDar Williams when her
last CD was released, and I think they're to thank for the
large attendance at her concert when she played in OKC.
The lack ofradio means a lot ofbands will never play this
market because they can't sell enough tickets. I'm quite sad
to hear the company made that choice, and I still don't
understand why so many people are happy hearingthe same
thing on every station. A lot ofstudents will be in for a big
surprise when they come back in the fall!
Ihopealotofyoumadeitto SoonerTheateronJuly 15th
to hear comedienne Vickie Shaw. She was very funny and
I hope to pick up her CDs sometime and hopefully get to see
her again! Her whole bit about parents who grew up in the
70s and the "When I was your age" stories they have to
come up with was priceless. "When I was your age, I had to
study by a lava lamp ....... stoned!" She definitely had some
good stuff.
The opening band Iris was great, too. The theater was
approachingfull that night, and hot, hot, hot! But Iris rocked
the place, which was good because in that kind of heat, I
don't think people could have tolerated anything less. I'd
never heard the band before but I'd heard three of the
members either by themselves or with other bands before.
Wanda, Kathy and Crystal (I apologize for any misspelled
names)areallgoodsingersandeachhastheirownstrengths.
Wandacangrowl the blues, althoughllearned that night.that
Kathy can too! Crystal can belt and I always look forward
to songs where she can let loose. Charlene on the harmonica.
and bass and Marilyn (forgive me ifl' m wrong about her
name)on the drums were great additions. When the band's
set ended with Wipeout, and Charlene dancing around the
stage, the band left the crowd on their feet screaming for
more! Tnat was definitely a fun night and Iris is definitely a
CJ
band I'd like to hear again.
REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY
321-2148
Individual - Couples
P .O. Box 5119
Norman, Okla. 73070
Family Therapy, Retreats
\"(\~st1 c _
f(lRest tREaSURES
· • incic- "
o• •
candlm • lmpci.t.
...,,.. ....,..
"atona ....•Jc*lrt
•unique"_
..,..
·~
......... 1Uca (405)447-5111
Berland Voice July, 2000 Page 3
Herl and Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Address Service Requested
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861
-
August, 2000
A
HISTORY FOR
HERLAND
ICE
Imagine the year 2050. It will be a truly technological age, when we are all just a push button away.
How did we getto this place? What does it mean for
our growth as a community?
The Herland Oral History Projectwill be a wayto
find outwherewe're going by lookingatwherewe've
been. Over the next year we will be interviewing
people in our community to learn their accounts of
ourpast and thoughts about our future. We would like
your input as we proceed.
The Herland Oral Histocy Project will seek
women in our community who (1) remember a time
in the Oklahoma City area before Herland; and (2)
have been involved with Herland over the years.
Participants need to be willing to be interviewed on
audio tape and/orinterviewernotes. Ifpossible, we'd
like to take your photograph too.
All interviews will be processed so they may be
a resource for people interested in Herland's history. We would also like to deposit the histories with
the Lesbian Herstory Archive in New York city.
For those of you who would like to be interviewed, but would like to remain anonymous, be
assured that your privacy will be respected. All you
have to do is tell us: we '11 respect your wishes.
Dr. Jan Rosenberg will be conducting the interviews. She has been doing this kind ofwork for over
20 years. Ifyou would like to talk with Jan about the
project, feel free to call her at 945-0831 or e-mail,
herjer@ix. netcom. com.
Our history is as important as our future. Please
consider being a part of this valuable project.
Cl
Volume 18 Number 08
CREAM SoaAL/.1AM SESSION
Meet at Berland on August 12 for
an Ice Cream Social and Jam Session
that's happening at 7:00 P.M. Louise
Goldberg will be the Mistress of Ceremonies. A $5 .00 donation is requested,
unlessyou'rejammin' ("payorplay"). Wewillhaveseveral
freezers of homemade ice cream with
1' cookies and toppings. Come join us-~
it will be a (cool) blast!
Bringyourinstrumentsandyourtaste
for fun and the cool stuff Your Board of
Directors and your friends look forward
to seeing you on the 12th! Be there or be square.
Upcoming Herland Events
August 12 - The Supper Club will meet
at 5:00 at Chelino's at SW 59th and
Western.
August 12, 7:00 PM - Ice Cream
Social at Her/and See details above
August 20, 8:00 AM - Bike Ride.
MeetatN.E. 36thandColtrane fora JO mile ride
through theSpencerarea. Parkattheschool
August 20, 4:30 Her/and Board
Meeting. Open to all interested in being more
involved in Her/and
October 13 - 15 Her/and Fall
Retreat, Osage Hills State Park.
A limitednumber ofcomplimentaryretreat
registrations are aH:Jilable for workshop
presentors. If you have a workshop you'd like to
present, please senda briefdescription to
Her/and, 2312 NW 39, OKC, OK 73JJ2
Herland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112
SAINT SYBIL
·nil Ludington, Matron Saint of the Forgotten Woman, is an
oc...:asional contributor to this space.
Dear Saint Sybil,
A great many ofmy lesbian friends were molested or
sexually abused as children. I hate to think that our sexual
orientation is a negative reaction (disliking ofmen), rather
than a positive action (adoring women), but one has to
wonder. I know I adore women, but I also remember that
I was abused. Do you have any "wise woman" advice for
me?
Yours,
Jess Gottawonder
Dear Jess,
... So you think maybe women become lesbians because they were molested, and I guess men become gay
becausetheirmothers were smothering .... mass murderers
become vicious killers because someone spared the rod,
you lovechocolatebecausesomeoneforced them demmed
vanilla wafers on you when you were young, and Pat
Buchanan and Dr. Laura became mean blithering idiots
because people were too kind and loving and gentle with
themas kids ...
Nope, Jessie, not true. What is true is that while quite
a few lesbians were sexually abused as children, so also
were about ten times as many straight women Being
molested no more turns women into lesbians than it turns
straight women into heterosexuals. Okaydoke?
You know, many cultures celebrate homosexuality as a
gift from the Great Spirit; and so it's curious how the
dangerous canard that sex is only for opposites gained
credence in Western culture. One assumes it must have
come from big-city dwellers, people who lived their whole
benighted lives deprived ofthejoy of the outdoors. I mean,
don't farm animals and housepets and chimpanzees and
whole colonies of "lesbian" seagulls tell us anything?
Actually, fear ofhomosexuality is propagated byjust a
few-those in power, committed to maintaining privilege for
themselves and dominance over the many. All "isms" serve
those in power- racism, classism, ageism, anti-Semitism,
queerism (ok, homophobia), and the grandmother of all
isms, sexism I commend to you, dear Jessie, a wonderful
book by Suzanne Pharr, Homophobia, A Weapon of
Sexism.
P!U?e 2 Her/and Voice Jolv. 2000
Oops, lecturing again, sony. Now I will leave you with
one short story about amorous attraction and the futility of
trying to confine it in some artificial puritanical straightjacket: A friend ofmine I channel with from time to time has
a chihuahua/doxiernix who was spayed beforeherfirst heat.
That funny-looking little dog has never had the chance to
generate one sexual hormone; she's totally immune to even
the strongest pheromone- Rin Tin Tin, leave that little dog
alone, shedoesn'twantyou-youeither,Lassie, whatever
gender you are- There is no sexual spark in this little dog
at all, none, - except, that is, when my friend settles in for
the night and puts on her adorable pink fuzzy bunny slippers
- Goodness, hide your eyes, children, and bar the door!
That little poodle is determined that those slippers will be the
mother ofherpuppies. What a spectacle, I blush to think of
it
So, my dear, love whom you want, make love with
whom you will (always, ofcourse, leaving those puppies and
fuzzy slippers alone), and rejoice always in your life and your
love.
Peace(&Love), Sybil
CJ
Individual, couples or family counseling. Accessible rates. Call for a
Wednesdayeveningappointment. Jo
L. Soske, Phd, LPC, CADC 879-2226
www.herlandsisters.org
Herland Board of Directors:
Laura Choate
Joanna Fife, Secretary
Jacqueline Gatewood
DTH
Pat Reaves, Co-Chair
Jerri Schaben
Denise Smith
Judy Walden
Ginger McGovern, Treasurer
The Voice Is published by: Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community dscourse.
Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not necessariy
those of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and
letters to the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer
wfth full name and address. Upon request, letters or articles may
be printed under a pseudonym or anonymously.
Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request although a
donation is requested to meet publcation end clstnbution costs.
IN REvIEW
by Jill Gamer
Well, I never am the first one on the block to have the
latest technology, but I'm usually not the last either! My
girlfriend and I just madethe move to digital cable (mainly
so we could get more women's sportsonESPN2) and now
I may never watch TV again (except for that women's
sports thing)! I've discovered a couple ofmusic channels
andsofarlhaven'twatchedasingleTVshow. Inowhave
a good radio station, and commercial free at that, so what
do I need with TV?
So far my favorite station is called Post Country. Yeah,
I agree, whatthe&*%$doespostcountrymean? It'skind
oflike a good Americana station and I've heard people like
Iris Dement, Neko Case, Roseanne Cash, Slaid Cleaves,
Dave Alvin, Kelly Willis, Bruce Robison, Steve Forbert,
andRayPrice. Yes, that'sright,RayPrice. Themanwho
sings true country music at its best is considered post
country. Whatever. There's also another station that plays
bluegrass at certain times ofthe day that I have stumbled
upon, and it's great. I've already heard a number of
musiciansl'veonlybeenabletoreadaboutsofar. Soifyou
have digital cable, check out some ofthe music stations!
Now I just need it in my car and I'll be all set! Actually one
ofthe car companies, maybe GM, is planning to install some
sort of satellite system in their cars where you can get
commercial free radio ofthe format you choose, andit will
be available to install in other makes of cars, for the right
price ofcourse, in the not too distant future. I'm saving my
money now!
Speaking ofradio, I just read that KSPI, The Spy, in
Stillwater, has changed formats fromaltemativerockto the
same bland pop that everyone else is playing. According to
their research, that's what people, and more importantly,
advertisers, want. The people who listen to alternative rock
don'tmakequiteenoughmoneyto make advertisers happy.
The Spy was the only station playingDar Williams when her
last CD was released, and I think they're to thank for the
large attendance at her concert when she played in OKC.
The lack ofradio means a lot ofbands will never play this
market because they can't sell enough tickets. I'm quite sad
to hear the company made that choice, and I still don't
understand why so many people are happy hearingthe same
thing on every station. A lot ofstudents will be in for a big
surprise when they come back in the fall!
Ihopealotofyoumadeitto SoonerTheateronJuly 15th
to hear comedienne Vickie Shaw. She was very funny and
I hope to pick up her CDs sometime and hopefully get to see
her again! Her whole bit about parents who grew up in the
70s and the "When I was your age" stories they have to
come up with was priceless. "When I was your age, I had to
study by a lava lamp ....... stoned!" She definitely had some
good stuff.
The opening band Iris was great, too. The theater was
approachingfull that night, and hot, hot, hot! But Iris rocked
the place, which was good because in that kind of heat, I
don't think people could have tolerated anything less. I'd
never heard the band before but I'd heard three of the
members either by themselves or with other bands before.
Wanda, Kathy and Crystal (I apologize for any misspelled
names)areallgoodsingersandeachhastheirownstrengths.
Wandacangrowl the blues, althoughllearned that night.that
Kathy can too! Crystal can belt and I always look forward
to songs where she can let loose. Charlene on the harmonica.
and bass and Marilyn (forgive me ifl' m wrong about her
name)on the drums were great additions. When the band's
set ended with Wipeout, and Charlene dancing around the
stage, the band left the crowd on their feet screaming for
more! Tnat was definitely a fun night and Iris is definitely a
CJ
band I'd like to hear again.
REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY
321-2148
Individual - Couples
P .O. Box 5119
Norman, Okla. 73070
Family Therapy, Retreats
\"(\~st1 c _
f(lRest tREaSURES
· • incic- "
o• •
candlm • lmpci.t.
...,,.. ....,..
"atona ....•Jc*lrt
•unique"_
..,..
·~
......... 1Uca (405)447-5111
Berland Voice July, 2000 Page 3
Herl and Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Address Service Requested
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861
-
August, 2000
A
HISTORY FOR
HERLAND
ICE
Imagine the year 2050. It will be a truly technological age, when we are all just a push button away.
How did we getto this place? What does it mean for
our growth as a community?
The Herland Oral History Projectwill be a wayto
find outwherewe're going by lookingatwherewe've
been. Over the next year we will be interviewing
people in our community to learn their accounts of
ourpast and thoughts about our future. We would like
your input as we proceed.
The Herland Oral Histocy Project will seek
women in our community who (1) remember a time
in the Oklahoma City area before Herland; and (2)
have been involved with Herland over the years.
Participants need to be willing to be interviewed on
audio tape and/orinterviewernotes. Ifpossible, we'd
like to take your photograph too.
All interviews will be processed so they may be
a resource for people interested in Herland's history. We would also like to deposit the histories with
the Lesbian Herstory Archive in New York city.
For those of you who would like to be interviewed, but would like to remain anonymous, be
assured that your privacy will be respected. All you
have to do is tell us: we '11 respect your wishes.
Dr. Jan Rosenberg will be conducting the interviews. She has been doing this kind ofwork for over
20 years. Ifyou would like to talk with Jan about the
project, feel free to call her at 945-0831 or e-mail,
herjer@ix. netcom. com.
Our history is as important as our future. Please
consider being a part of this valuable project.
Cl
Volume 18 Number 08
CREAM SoaAL/.1AM SESSION
Meet at Berland on August 12 for
an Ice Cream Social and Jam Session
that's happening at 7:00 P.M. Louise
Goldberg will be the Mistress of Ceremonies. A $5 .00 donation is requested,
unlessyou'rejammin' ("payorplay"). Wewillhaveseveral
freezers of homemade ice cream with
1' cookies and toppings. Come join us-~
it will be a (cool) blast!
Bringyourinstrumentsandyourtaste
for fun and the cool stuff Your Board of
Directors and your friends look forward
to seeing you on the 12th! Be there or be square.
Upcoming Herland Events
August 12 - The Supper Club will meet
at 5:00 at Chelino's at SW 59th and
Western.
August 12, 7:00 PM - Ice Cream
Social at Her/and See details above
August 20, 8:00 AM - Bike Ride.
MeetatN.E. 36thandColtrane fora JO mile ride
through theSpencerarea. Parkattheschool
August 20, 4:30 Her/and Board
Meeting. Open to all interested in being more
involved in Her/and
October 13 - 15 Her/and Fall
Retreat, Osage Hills State Park.
A limitednumber ofcomplimentaryretreat
registrations are aH:Jilable for workshop
presentors. If you have a workshop you'd like to
present, please senda briefdescription to
Her/and, 2312 NW 39, OKC, OK 73JJ2
Herland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112
SAINT SYBIL
·nil Ludington, Matron Saint of the Forgotten Woman, is an
oc...:asional contributor to this space.
Dear Saint Sybil,
A great many ofmy lesbian friends were molested or
sexually abused as children. I hate to think that our sexual
orientation is a negative reaction (disliking ofmen), rather
than a positive action (adoring women), but one has to
wonder. I know I adore women, but I also remember that
I was abused. Do you have any "wise woman" advice for
me?
Yours,
Jess Gottawonder
Dear Jess,
... So you think maybe women become lesbians because they were molested, and I guess men become gay
becausetheirmothers were smothering .... mass murderers
become vicious killers because someone spared the rod,
you lovechocolatebecausesomeoneforced them demmed
vanilla wafers on you when you were young, and Pat
Buchanan and Dr. Laura became mean blithering idiots
because people were too kind and loving and gentle with
themas kids ...
Nope, Jessie, not true. What is true is that while quite
a few lesbians were sexually abused as children, so also
were about ten times as many straight women Being
molested no more turns women into lesbians than it turns
straight women into heterosexuals. Okaydoke?
You know, many cultures celebrate homosexuality as a
gift from the Great Spirit; and so it's curious how the
dangerous canard that sex is only for opposites gained
credence in Western culture. One assumes it must have
come from big-city dwellers, people who lived their whole
benighted lives deprived ofthejoy of the outdoors. I mean,
don't farm animals and housepets and chimpanzees and
whole colonies of "lesbian" seagulls tell us anything?
Actually, fear ofhomosexuality is propagated byjust a
few-those in power, committed to maintaining privilege for
themselves and dominance over the many. All "isms" serve
those in power- racism, classism, ageism, anti-Semitism,
queerism (ok, homophobia), and the grandmother of all
isms, sexism I commend to you, dear Jessie, a wonderful
book by Suzanne Pharr, Homophobia, A Weapon of
Sexism.
P!U?e 2 Her/and Voice Jolv. 2000
Oops, lecturing again, sony. Now I will leave you with
one short story about amorous attraction and the futility of
trying to confine it in some artificial puritanical straightjacket: A friend ofmine I channel with from time to time has
a chihuahua/doxiernix who was spayed beforeherfirst heat.
That funny-looking little dog has never had the chance to
generate one sexual hormone; she's totally immune to even
the strongest pheromone- Rin Tin Tin, leave that little dog
alone, shedoesn'twantyou-youeither,Lassie, whatever
gender you are- There is no sexual spark in this little dog
at all, none, - except, that is, when my friend settles in for
the night and puts on her adorable pink fuzzy bunny slippers
- Goodness, hide your eyes, children, and bar the door!
That little poodle is determined that those slippers will be the
mother ofherpuppies. What a spectacle, I blush to think of
it
So, my dear, love whom you want, make love with
whom you will (always, ofcourse, leaving those puppies and
fuzzy slippers alone), and rejoice always in your life and your
love.
Peace(&Love), Sybil
CJ
Individual, couples or family counseling. Accessible rates. Call for a
Wednesdayeveningappointment. Jo
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IN REvIEW
by Jill Gamer
Well, I never am the first one on the block to have the
latest technology, but I'm usually not the last either! My
girlfriend and I just madethe move to digital cable (mainly
so we could get more women's sportsonESPN2) and now
I may never watch TV again (except for that women's
sports thing)! I've discovered a couple ofmusic channels
andsofarlhaven'twatchedasingleTVshow. Inowhave
a good radio station, and commercial free at that, so what
do I need with TV?
So far my favorite station is called Post Country. Yeah,
I agree, whatthe&*%$doespostcountrymean? It'skind
oflike a good Americana station and I've heard people like
Iris Dement, Neko Case, Roseanne Cash, Slaid Cleaves,
Dave Alvin, Kelly Willis, Bruce Robison, Steve Forbert,
andRayPrice. Yes, that'sright,RayPrice. Themanwho
sings true country music at its best is considered post
country. Whatever. There's also another station that plays
bluegrass at certain times ofthe day that I have stumbled
upon, and it's great. I've already heard a number of
musiciansl'veonlybeenabletoreadaboutsofar. Soifyou
have digital cable, check out some ofthe music stations!
Now I just need it in my car and I'll be all set! Actually one
ofthe car companies, maybe GM, is planning to install some
sort of satellite system in their cars where you can get
commercial free radio ofthe format you choose, andit will
be available to install in other makes of cars, for the right
price ofcourse, in the not too distant future. I'm saving my
money now!
Speaking ofradio, I just read that KSPI, The Spy, in
Stillwater, has changed formats fromaltemativerockto the
same bland pop that everyone else is playing. According to
their research, that's what people, and more importantly,
advertisers, want. The people who listen to alternative rock
don'tmakequiteenoughmoneyto make advertisers happy.
The Spy was the only station playingDar Williams when her
last CD was released, and I think they're to thank for the
large attendance at her concert when she played in OKC.
The lack ofradio means a lot ofbands will never play this
market because they can't sell enough tickets. I'm quite sad
to hear the company made that choice, and I still don't
understand why so many people are happy hearingthe same
thing on every station. A lot ofstudents will be in for a big
surprise when they come back in the fall!
Ihopealotofyoumadeitto SoonerTheateronJuly 15th
to hear comedienne Vickie Shaw. She was very funny and
I hope to pick up her CDs sometime and hopefully get to see
her again! Her whole bit about parents who grew up in the
70s and the "When I was your age" stories they have to
come up with was priceless. "When I was your age, I had to
study by a lava lamp ....... stoned!" She definitely had some
good stuff.
The opening band Iris was great, too. The theater was
approachingfull that night, and hot, hot, hot! But Iris rocked
the place, which was good because in that kind of heat, I
don't think people could have tolerated anything less. I'd
never heard the band before but I'd heard three of the
members either by themselves or with other bands before.
Wanda, Kathy and Crystal (I apologize for any misspelled
names)areallgoodsingersandeachhastheirownstrengths.
Wandacangrowl the blues, althoughllearned that night.that
Kathy can too! Crystal can belt and I always look forward
to songs where she can let loose. Charlene on the harmonica.
and bass and Marilyn (forgive me ifl' m wrong about her
name)on the drums were great additions. When the band's
set ended with Wipeout, and Charlene dancing around the
stage, the band left the crowd on their feet screaming for
more! Tnat was definitely a fun night and Iris is definitely a
CJ
band I'd like to hear again.
REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY
321-2148
Individual - Couples
P .O. Box 5119
Norman, Okla. 73070
Family Therapy, Retreats
\"(\~st1 c _
f(lRest tREaSURES
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......... 1Uca (405)447-5111
Berland Voice July, 2000 Page 3
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