The Herland Voice : v.10: no.5(1993)
- Title
- The Herland Voice : v.10: no.5(1993)
- Description
- The Herland Voice is the monthly publication of Herland Sister Resources, a womanist organization with a strong lesbian focus based in Oklahoma City.
- Date Issued
- 1993-05
- Rights
- All rights reserved by Herland Sister Resources. Contact UCO Archives & Special Collections for the permission policy on the use, reproduction or distribution of these materials.
- Is Part Of
- Herland Voice
- Creator
- Herland Sister Resources
- Date
- 2017-09-02T17:03:10Z
- Date Available
- 2017-09-02T17:03:10Z
- Subject
- Oklahoma
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- application/pdf
- extracted text
-
May, 1993
THE MARCH ON
WASHINGTON
The Neon Girls
SPRING RETREAT
Herland Sister Resources presents its 1993 Spring Retreat for
women at Roman Nose State Park (near Watonga, OK), May 21-23,
1993. Registration begins at 4 PM on Friday, May 21, with the
formal opening ceremony at 9 PM. Activities will wind up Sunday
morning with check-out time at noon.
The featured entertainers are the Neon Girls (aka Christy and
Joan). They have been performing together since 1985, have opened
shows for Diedre McCalla, Ferron, Alix Dobkin and Judy Small, and
delivered a powerful closing set at the 3rd Annual Gulf Coast
Women's Festival.
Don't forget to bring your musical instrument and songs, your
poetry or other entertainment so you can be a part of the open mike
on Saturday afternoon. There will also be campfire sings on Friday
night and Saturday evening after the concert.
The registration fee for the retreat is on a sliding scale from $15$60; on-site registration is $60. Limited scholarships are available
and must be requested in advance. Registration includes lodging in
group camp, Friday evening meal, Saturday and Sunday brunch,
concert and workshops. Bring your favorite covered dish for the
Saturday night potluck. If you bring pets, they must be on a leash.
Camping is available in the group camp.
For more information, leave a message for Laura at Herland
(405) 521-9696. For retreat flyers, contact Renee (405) 366-1138.Cl
Volume IO Number 5
A million or so people marched in Washing ton D. C. on April 25,
in the March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Liberation --the largest Civil Rights demonstration ever.
Barney Frank, Massachusetts Congressman, speaking at the
March rally said, ''This march will have a significant impact in
getting people to organize themselves, to be activated to act politically. A lot of members of Congress are going to hear from them
instead of being guided by abstract opinion polls." President
Clinton, who declined an invitation to address the marchers, sent a
letter to the gathering: ''I stand with you in the struggle for equality
for all Americans, including gay men and lesbians. In this great
country, founded on the principle that all people are created equal,
we must learn to put aside what divides us and focus on what we
share.''
A massively political event, there were dozens of workshops,
town meetings, and networking/planning meetings throughout the
week, where serious work was done by dedicated activists; Her land's
and Si,Piply Equal's Pat Reaves participated in a panel at the
NGLTF's Town Meeting on Saturday, discussing Simply Equal's
activity in Oklahoma in response to the religious/radical right. The
March nonetheless felt like one large week-long party to most of the
participants.
The Dyke March on Saturday evening was a lusty rowdy
celebration of women. Twenty thousand women marched from
DuPont Circle to the White House, filling the streets with drumming,
cheering, and passionate sisterhood for forty blocks.
A feeling of camaraderie prevailed throughout the Capitol, with
gays and lesbians on every corner. The Metro, D.C.'s subway, was
a "family" party.
Also on Saturday, in a demonstration organized by ACT-UP,
demonstrators holding a red ribbon linked arms and encircled the
Capitol to demand a more committed fight against AIDS by our
lawmakers. To show their displeasure with Congress, demonstrators
stood with their back to the Capitol.
In another March-related demonstration, about 1500 people
participated in a marriage/commitment ceremony, which was addressed by Karen Thompson as Sharon Kowalski sat beside her.
At the celebration at the end of the march, a gigantic rainbow
flag was passed from one end of the gathered crowd to the other, and
back again; a beautiful and defining moment for many. There was a
candlelight vigil at the Holocaust Museum; a special showing of The
Quilt; a reception for opponents of the ban on gays and lesbians in
the military, at which a young highly decorated soldier came out in
full dress uniform. There were dances and concerts and comedians
everywhere.
It was a sorrowful, joyful, political, celebratory experience of
incredible intensity, and it will change millions of lives and the
world. As Torie Osborn, executive director of the National Gay &
Lesbian Task Force said, "We are the new American refugees,
[J
coming home from exile."
Berland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112
Sr. Sve1L
TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION
Sybil Ludington, Matron Saint of the Forgotten Woman, answers the
occasional odd question in this space.
by Pat Reaves
Dear St. Sybil,
I've been hearing rumors flying around about one of the lesbian
couples Her land has been raising money for; like, they lost their kids
because they were manhating feminists, not because they were
lesbians. What do you know about this?
Signed,
Concerned
Dear Concerned,
That's really interesting. Do you think a manhating feminist
straight woman would lose her kids? Not on your life, honey, not for
that reason; she wouldn't even be in court.
Well then, do you think if those lesbian women really loved
men, only just not sexually, - that if they thought men were the
greatest thing since electric lights, they would still have their kids?
Honey, honey, get a life, get a grip; the trial was about lesbian
mothers, - the word ''lesbian' ' was used over 500 times in the course
of the proceedings; and it was the basis of the judge's decision.
Maybe it's time you learned the ten top reasons why a dad
doesn't get custody of his kids if their mother's a lesbian:
10. He's gay too.
9. He's deceased.
8. He's a convicted felon serving time
7. He's serving time for child abuse
6. Doesn't want them
5. Doesn't want them
4. Doesn' t want them
3. Doesn't want them
2. Doesn' t want them
1. Smart unmarried mother didn't put his name on birth
certificate.
This situation can change, but not if you keep your head buried
in the sand or in other dark places. There will be an appellate ruling
one day that homosexuality is not grounds for removal of one's
children, and gay parents will be freer and breathe more easily; but
it will not come without work and sacrifice. And I have a feeling you
knew this without me saying it. Oh well.
Take care,
[J
Sybil
April, 1993 will be remembered as a momentous time in the
struggle for protection of the civil rights of lesbians, gays and
bisexuals. The March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal
Rights and Liberation drew over a million people to Washington,
D.C. to join in the demand for civil and human rights. Smaller scale
but equally significant events occurred in Oklahoma. On April 25,
in an unprecedented event, over three hundred Oklahomans -- gay,
lesbian and friends -- rallied on the steps of the State Capitol in
support of the March on Washington and called for recognition of the
human rights of all people. In Norman, earlier in April, lesbians,
gays and their friends demonstrated against a local bar owner's
posting of a sign, ''No Dykes.''
I had the opportunity to participate in two of these events, the
March on Washington and the Norman demonstrations. Although
the March on Washington will be recorded in history as a watershed
event for gay/lesbian/bi civil rights, for me, the demonstrations in
Norman were equally significant and empowering .
We went to the Lower Deck in Norman because we could no
longer be silent in the face of homophobic hate. We went to become
visible -- to make sure the owner would have to confront real, live
lesbians. We went to make sure that others -- the bar patrons and the
people of Norman and Oklahoma -- would know that lesbians and
gays are routinely .subjected to discrimination and denial of their
human and civil rights. We went to say we will not take this denial
of our rights silently.
We went at great risk. Initially, we were anxious about arrest.
We knew we were confronting people who feared and hated us. We
feared the violence threatened against us by the bar owner and
encouraged by a disc jockey for an OKC radio station. Some of us
feared the consequences of becoming publicly identified as lesbian
or gay.
We went to Washing ton for visibility on a grand scale. For one
brief weekend lesbians, gays, and bisexuals were the norm. We were
everywhere: on the streets, in the subway, in restaurants and hotels.
We demanded a federal civil rights bill protecting our rights as equal
persons under the law. We celebrated our community in all its
diversity without fear.
Becoming visible is an act of revolution from which there is no
turning back. In April, 1993 we have said loudly and plainly that
gays and lesbians are here and we demand our full human rights. The
homophobic backlash and the counterdemonstrators with their shouts
of hatred and threats will not stop us.
A banner reading ''A Simple Matter of Justice'' hung from the
March on theWashington stage. In Washington and in Norman we
announced we will settle for nothing less.
Acting on the belief that we have the right to be has changed us
--as individuals, communities, and society. With courage, we have
claimed our power.
[J
IN
MEMORY:
CESAR CHAVEZ,
1927 - 1993.
Chavez organized the farm workers of California. Through his
vision, his union, strikes, periodic fasts to dramatize " the pain and
suffering of the faqn workers,'' and a grape boycott, he secured a
contract with the vinyards in 1970.
Among the major achievements of the United Farm Workers
was the replacement of back-breaking short hoes with long ones.
A "secular saint in the tradition of Gandhi," Chavez was a
model and an inspiration to all who wish to leave the world better
than they found it.
Please remember, his boycott of California grapes continues
today.
[J
2109 S. Air Depot
Midwest City, OK 73110
AirDepotAnimal Hospital
Call for Appointment
2 Her/and Voice
May, 1993
(405)737-0496
JOY HUSKA, D.V.M
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST
LESBIANS
BY THE
LOWER DECK
by Helen Miller
Editors Note: The Lower Deck, a bar near the OU campus in
Norman, was the site of demonstrations prompted by the owners
posting of a "No Dykes" sign and refusal to serve women she
believed to be lesbians. The account below by one of the women
involved in the original incident chronicles the events and the
resulting demonstrations.
April 1, 1993
A group of seven women went to the Lower Deck to socialize
and play pool. After purchasing beer, we noticed a prominently
displayed sign behind the bar listing the week's specials. The
Thursday listing said, ''Thursday: Ladies' night free longnecks
10- 5 No Dykes." Upon seeing the sign, two separate women asked
that it be removed because we found it offensive. Both the bartender
and the owner, Nicole ''Cola'' Rankin refused to remove the sign.
April 6, 1993
Kerman Raines, co-chair of Simply Equal of Noman went to
visit with Rankin to resolve the issue. 'Cola Rankin did apologize
for the sign; however she stated her intent was still clear. She still
did not want lesbians in her establshment. She cited as reasons (a)
ladies' night is designed to draw men who will buy drinks and men
won't want to drink with lesbians present because "we won't get no
sap out of them trees; (b) lesbians aren't well groomed and don't
dress well and would bring down the quality of the atmosphere of her
bar.
When approached about her use of the term ''dyke'' (the word
she uses for lesbians), Ms. Rankin stated, "If they are going to live
that lifestyle, they have to be ready to be called such names."
April 8, 1993
A group of twenty-eight people (predominately women) went to
the Lower Deck to drink beer for ladies night. The sign behind the
bar had been changed to read "Thursday: manger's [sic] choice."
When asked, the bartender informed us that there was no drink
special that night and that we would have to purchase drinks to stay.
After purchasing our drinks, several women two-stepped and another woman proposed a toast to the passage of the Spousal Rape
Bill.
At this point Rankin turned up the lights, unplugged the juke
box, and announced, ''Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is now closed.
You must leave." We asked why no one else was being asked to
leave, but she only responded by repeating that the bar was closed.
Next, Rankin herded the other customers into a small gameroom
in the bar and left to call the police. On her way back inside, she said,
"Ifl had a rope behind the bar, I'd hang 'email high.'' The bartender
was also heard saying that if he had a shotgun, he'd shoot one of the
gays, and if it were double-barreled, he could shoot two.
After consulting with the police officers, Rankin returned and
announced that this was now a private party and the group (which by
now included all who spoke to us) must leave immediately. The
officer in charge, Sgt. McKenzie, informed the group that the owner
or manager of an establishment has the right to refuse service to
anyone. Then, the seven police officers escorted the group out,
where we went to the public sidewalk and chanted in protest before
dispersing peacefully.
April 14, 1993.
Simply Equal of Norman sponsored a rally near the Lower Deck
on April 14, 1993, to protest these discriminatory actions. More than
forty people showed up to picket the business. Six women, some of
whom had never been to the business, attempted to enter the bar, but
were refused admittance.
This time Rankin stated she was exercising the right to refuse
service to anyone. When asked why we were being refused, she
responded that we had disrupted her business the previous week and
accused us of misconduct, saying we were ''groping and fondling''
one another. We pointed out that there had been absolutely no
groping or fondling by any of us and that two of us had never been
there before. Rankin said she would still refuse service to all of us
and insisted that we leave. We left and joined the legal picket
outside.
April 15, 1993
Simply Equal of Norman again sponsored a legal picket outside
the Lower Deck to bring these discriminatory actions to the attention
of the citizens of Norman. Approximately forty people took part in
this demonstration.
Rankin had been quoted in local media threatening violence
against any picketers and an OKC disc jockey had encouraged
violence against demonstrators on his radio show. Norman police
were present in force to protect the demonstrators from violence by
counterdemonstrators who heckled the protestors from passing cars
and the parking lot of the bar.
We are filing complaints with the Norman Human Rights
Commission. We are hopeful that a liberal reading of Norman's
Civil Rights Ordinance will address this discrimination.
[J
DYKE-IN AT THE LOWER DECK
WHEREAS: "Ladies Night,'' with its offer of free beer and no
cover charge for unescorted females is not an altruistic gesture to
the underpaid working woman, but a cynical device designed to
draw in and inebriate young, heterosexual females and use them to
lure (higher paid) males to spend their money; and large contingents
of elderly women, homeless mothers or nuns accepting the invitation of No Cover and Free Beer would be as unwelcome to the bar
management as are lesbians;
AND: "Ladies" is a euphemism for "Women,'' a word too earthy
and powerful for many people to accept comfortably; "Women"
signifies all adult females; "Dykes,'' as used by homophobic
people, is a derogatory term for ''Lesbians,'' a word too earthy and
powerful for many people to accept comfortably; "Lesbians" are
intrinsically, invariably women;
AND: A notice indicating that "ladies" but not "dykes" will
receive certain benefits is purposely rude, insulting, exclusionary,
discriminatory and provocative;
THEREFORE: We invite all people of good will, of whatever sex
or sexuality, to join with us in protesting this human rights affront
to the dignity of women who are your mothers, daughters, sisters,
wives. We urge all women to join us in our "Dyke In,'' and all men
to deny the bartheir patronage and their coin, until the management's
policy is reversed and an apology to all women is rendered. We also
urge the City of Norman to pass a Public Accommodation Act and
a Human Rights Act to outlaw discrimination of any kind on the
basis of race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, national
origin, age, or handicap.
This action is co -sponsored by KBS, an association of liberation
activists based in Oklahoma; KBS is named/or Underground Railroad
heroine Kathryn Bradley Sparrow, who risked her hard-won freedom
from servitude to help her sisters and brothers in the struggle.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
3
of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Stillwater, Paul Thompson
of OGLPC, Laura Rhodes of the National Association of Social
Workers, and Rev . John Nichols of the Lighthouse Metropolitan
Community Church.
Rev. Nichols said, '' Our rights are not something pulled out of
thin air ... Our rights are written into codes that existed long before the
U.S. Constitution. What we seek is nothing less than what we
deserve as humans. Our rights are ours because we live, because we
are human beings.''
The afternoon was enlivened and inspired with music by Deb
Roberts, Mary Reynolds and Peggy Johnson. At the end of the
afternoon, the group joined hands, encircled the South Steps Plaza,
and sang together Holly Near's "We Are Gentle Angry People" - a
song which became the unofficial anthem of the March in Washington. At the identical moment in time that it was being sung in
Oklahoma City, it was being sung by myriad groups across the
country, in Washington D.C. and at similar companion events in
other states . We are gentle, angry people, and we are singing,
singing for our lives. Gay and straight, women and men, all
colors, all ages, singing, singing for our lives.
Photo by Pat Colognesi
RALLY
OKLAHOMA
''I don't believe it takes 'courage' for a politician to be here this
afternoon. I think it is the right thing to do. What we are about today
is human dignity. We have to stand together and ensure human
rights."
The speaker was State Representative Angela Monson, one of
several politicians who, despite her disclaimer, did show unusual
courage in appearing and speaking in support of Lesbian, Gay and Bi
Equal Rights at Rally Oklahoma, a companion demonstration to the
million strong March in Washington, held at the Oklahoma State
Capitol on April 25.
"The NAACP understands and appreciates the struggle that
you're in .. .It's simple. All people must be free," said Roosevelt
Milton, head of the local chapterof the NAACP. ' 'You keep fighting
and we will find liberation and justice for gay people in America."
Messages of support from Rabbi David Packman of Temple
B' Nai Israel, from Frosty Troy, Editor of the Oklahoma Observer,
Secretary of State John Kennedy and Mike Turpen, Chair of the
Oklahoma State Democratic Party, were read by participants Steve
Lazarus of OUGLBA, Jack Wozniak of the Gayly, the Reverend
Donna Compton of Unity Coalition, and Nathaniel Batchelder of the
Peace House. In addition to Rep. Monson and Mr. Milton, speakers
included State Senator Bernest Cain, who said ''We need to change
all forms of discrimination in Oklahoma, and I will continue to work
with you."
Other speakers included Representative Laura Boyd, Rev.
Robin Myers of Mayflower Congregationalist Church, Herland
Board member Peggy Johnson, and Susan Dunlop of Jobs with
Justice. Also speaking were Karen Ray of NOW, Rex Friend of the
National Lawyers Guild, Pat Snead of P-FLAG, Rev. Carol Fincher
4
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
Photo by Pa t Co log nesi
The rally, held in Oklahoma City on the South Steps of the
Capitol, was sponsored in part by the OGLPC, Simply Equal,
Herland Sister Resources, the Oklahoma Women's Network, PFLAG, OU Young Democrats, the NAACP, the ACLU, the Peace
House, and the Social Justice Committee of the First Unitarian
Church. Other co-sponsors were Jobs with Justice, Gayly Oklahoman, STAT/Act Up, Oklahoma Toxics Campaign, the National
Organization for Women, the Gay Christian Ecumenical Council,
Christ the King Metro Community Church, Other Options, NASW,
the Coalition of Latin American Human & Civil Rights Advocates,
and The Parachute.
D
MEMORIES OF THE MARCH
The caravan to and from Washington was 50+ hours of fun and
physical torment. We had two vans, which were connected by CB
radios. We sang, told riddles and jokes, swapped Deep Thoughts and
Deep Queries, and had a great time not only on the vans but between
them.
After we were serenaded with ''Oklahoma'' by the San Francisco men's chorus, we sang it ourselves, at the top of our lungs,
thirty or forty times during the march. Sometimes the initial
· '000000000000'' would last nearly half a block before we fell
off into " ...klahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the
plains" - spirits were very high.
We also had a great chant that delighted the crowd; ask any of
us what it was, we'd be glad to share it with you; but we're not putting
it in print ...
On the way back to Oklahoma we passed a Cracker Barrel
Restaurant - the restaurant chain which has a policy of refusing to
hire gays and lesbians. We decided that a peaceful protest would be
a pleasant activity, and held a Pee-in - we all used the rest rooms, but
no one spent a penny for gas, food or souvenirs. The front porch of
the restaurant was lined with rocking chairs for sale, so after the Peein we also held a Rock-in, (see photo), rocking happily while we
greeted a tour bus ... We were actually so nice and peaceful that they
never knew they had been the target of a demonstration; but still we
enjoyed ourselves.
SNAPSHOT MEMORIES FROM
THE
OK
CONTINGENT:
asked his mother, ''Why are they singing?'' This woman, who
appeared to be straight, smiled at her son and answered, "They're
singing for their freedom. ''
Helen: My most memorable moments include seeing the hundreds
of thousands of Gay - Lesbian - Bi people assembling in the Mall,
seeing Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas walking through the Mall to
the rally stage (I took Tina's picture between them), hearing the San
Francisco men sing ''Oklahoma'' to the Oklahoma contingent, and
seeing the numerous gay families with children everywhere. I can
hardly wait to tell my own children and grandchildren all about it.
Laura: Two memories: 1) In the subway a cheer began and the
whole station was packed with people who were gay, cheering,
echoing, - we~ the subway. 2) As the rainbow flag was sent
back with everyone touching and passing, a lone man in a wheelchair
rolled himself in its path, crying; he struggled and lifted his frail
body up just enough to reach up and let it brush his finger tips, then
dropped back in the chair looking totally content.
Kevan: The 26-hour ride there; talking back and forth between vans
on the CB; DuPont Circle, the stores, the sights, the thousands of
queers; the leather people all decked out standing on the steps of the
Mellon Auditorium; the Dyke March; getting my t-shirt signed by
women from everywhere; the wild time at The Phase Saturday night;
the March - like a Gay Woodstock- turning the corner at the end and
seeing a sea of people with the Capitol in the background; the endless
ride back, and most of all the eleven other Okie ( & Texas) dykes who
went. I missed them the day after we got back.
Margaret: It was a wonderful five-day long weekend, filled with
fun, hilarity and joy; with old friends, new friends, and family. I
could pick almost any moment of the entire weekend and laugh out
loud with pleasure. One moment that stirred my soul as much as any
I can ever remember, was standing arm and arm with Dale as he and
I and Holly Near and a million or so other folks sang "We Are
Gentle, Angry People''.
Marquetta; "Oh when the Dykes go marching in, I want to be in that
number" - Hooray! I was in that number of powerful wimmin. The
last count I heard was 20,000 in the Dyke March. We had fun as we
walked from DuPont Circle to the Capitol. It feels empowering to be
a part of female energy.
Dale: The sense ofcommunity, "family" if you will, permeated the
city and each of our hearts. Unity, with no divisions between women
and men, or any other groups, was our overriding theme . Standing
there at the march in this huge group of family and experiencing
these emotions moved me deeply and convinced me that we will
prevail. We are all changed in immeasurable ways and in our hearts,
we were all there!
Michelle: Of the tens of thousands of women, cheers in the subway
and variety of things to do in Washigton, viewing the AIDS quilt will
remain in my mind as the most incredible and touching moment of
my trip. It was awesome to see the time, love, and patience poured
into remembering our beloved brothers and sisters.
Terry: We were on the Metro, about 90% ofus gay and lesbian, and
we spontaneously began to sing' 'We Are Gentle Angry People"; the
subway car was filled with it. A small boy near me looked up and
Tina: I was part of the largest civil rights march in the history of the
U.S. This incredible experience renewed my hope that within my
lifetime, we may actually win the rights and opportunities we
deserve (at least legally, ifnot socially). One of the more memorable
parts of this grand experience was our taking over of the city,
particularly the Metro (subway system). For once, we were blatantly
visible, we were the majority, we were even the norm. Several times
on the Metro, we occupied entire trains, except for a few wide-eyed
straight people who clung to one another in awe. How empowering
and unifying it all was!
Cindy; My favorite chants were: the S-M Leather Fetish contingent,
"Where's Bill? He's all tied up!" and at the end of the San Francisco
contingent·the men were chanting, " We're tired. we're bitchy. We
want our rights now!" Then of course there's Melissa [Etheridge]
with her hands on my body signing my back. She looks even better
in the daylight than she looks in the dark.
Pat: After the wonderful - like nothing ever before - dyke march, we
were taking the Metro back to the hotel. When we changed trains,
the Metro Center was crowded with lesbians and gays. Walking
down the side of the track, I waved my cap (lavender of course) over
my head and yelled. In an instant the whole metro was filled with
[J
cheers from the crowd cheering ourselves.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
5
THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON FOR LESBIAN I
The Oklahoma contingent
The Mall was filled with Marchers and the crowd
spilled over into surrounding streets.
PLATFORM OF THE
1993
MARCH ON WASHI
RIGHTS AND LIBERATION
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender movement recog
struggles against racism and sexism, class bias, economic injustice
we all are oppressed. The diversity of our movement requires and co
the quality of life for all people. We will be vigilant in our determin
and exploitation, so that all of us can develop to our full human potenf
identity, gender and gender expression, ability, age or class.
The Dyke March from Dupont Circle to the Mall included
20, 000 marchers and many thousand more supporters .
6
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
THE MARCH DEMANDS
1. We demand passage of a Lesbian, Gay, :!3isexual, and Transge
governments including the military; repeal of all sodomy laws a
consenting adults.
2. We demand massive increase in funding for AIDS education
alternative therapies; and an end to sexism in medical research an
3. We demand legislation to prevent discrimination against
family diversity, custody, adoption and foster care and that the def
4. We demand full and equal inclusion of Lesbians, Gays, Bi
inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans gender studies in m
5. We demand the right to reproductive freedom and choice, t
6. We demand an end to racial and ethnic discrimination in al
7. We demand an end to discrimination and violent oppression
religion, identity, sex and gender expression, disability, age, class,
GAY AND
81
EQUAL RIGHTS AND LIBERATION
aits to step off in the March.
noN FOR LESBIAN, GAY, AND
81
EauAL
Cindy Bookout carrying the Oklahoma flag led the Oklahoma
marchers on to the Mall.
~s that our quest for social justice fundamentally links us to the
1 religious intolerance. We must realize if one of us is oppressed
.s us to stand in opposition to all forms of oppression that diminish
il to rid our movement and our society of all forms of oppression
.vithoutregard to race, religion, sexual orientation, identification,
:r civil rights bill and an end to discrimination by state and federal
other laws that criminalize private sexual expression between
;earch, and patient care; universal access to health care including
alth care.
ians, Gays , Bisexuals and Transgendered people in the areas of
ion of family includes the full diversity of all family structures .
.uals and Transgendered people in the educational system, and
:ultural curricula.
)ntrol our own bodies, and an end to sexist discrimination.
rms.
ed on actual or perceived sexual orientation, identification, race,
OS/HIV infection.
A popular banner.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
7
19 9
3
1
As Suzanne Pharr says, "The religious right is unified by its racism, sexism, and homophobia, and we on
the left are divided by ours." Doc Herland thinks that Simply Equal is an organization that might be able
to turn this around and unify the progressive movement in Oklahoma. Go to meetings, check it out, do your
part •••
2
3
MISS BROWN
TO YOU
ALBUM PARTY
at.. f"Hps,
2 - 6 p.m.
g
11HPLY EQUAL
OKC Chapter
Meetine
7 pm
al Tesllne
The Limits,
Coa1s &
Elections
i~eal Defense 11
f"und. 6:30 pm
New Members
Welcome!!!
•
HISS BROWN
TO YOU
at.. VZDs, 8:45
16
17
lLYSE ANCELO
Percussion
Recila1 &
f"arewellPart..y
fbr 11ary
Hote1 Bohe11ia
It
CoDA 7 pm
12
13
14
Hary
Reynolds
at.. La
Baauelte
in Norman.
g pm
Simply Equal
of OKC
7 pm
al Herland
Everyone is
Welcome
18
19
20
21
HERLAN.O
RETREAT
at
Roman Nose
25
It
Jam Session
at.. Sl. Pauls
Hosted by
11BTY
31
28
27
Simply EQual
of OKC
7 Piii
at Herland
Everyone is
Welcome
PEGGY
JOHNSON
at
La Ba£Suelte
in Norman
8:30 - li:30
15
It
7 PDl
24
8
CoDA, 7 pm
al Herland Everyone is
Welco111e
Her1and
Relreal
30
6
Simply Equal
of OKC
Herl and
Board
1'1eelin£1
3:30 p.m.
23
5.
CAY 11AY DAY
and
the Ga1a
Hay Day Ball
•
ouii'C'aii
Sally Ride
Astronaut..
Born fQSf
CoDA, 7 Piii
f878 - fQ27
Pioneer of
Modern Dance
other Birthdays in May:
John Brown, Abolitionist, Martyr, May 9, 1800 - 1859
Margaret Fuller, Feminist, Philosopher, May 23, 1810 - 1950
Mary Harris (Mother) Jones, May 1, 1830 - 1930
Harvey Milk, May 21, 1930 - 1978
Malcolm X, May 19, 1925 - 1965
HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES INC.
2312 N.\\I. 39th Street
Oklahoma Cit)', Oklahoma 73112
405/ 521-9696
Hours: Sat.urda~s iO - 6: Sunda~s f - 6
2
~ETREAT
al
ROMAN NOSE
Tonl£1hl In
Concert al
the Retreat.:
THE
NEON GIRLS
29
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, Okla.
2312 N.W. 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112
ADDRESS CORRECTION REQUESTED
RETURN POSTAGE GUARANTEED
Permit No. 861
MOW
NOTEBOOK
by Vivien Ng
Day One, 4/23/93
I am sitting at Gate 10, Delta Terminal. D'f'W Airport. I look
around me and find a sea of fellow mard1ers. Mostly Texans. One
doesn't have to be Pam Nilsen (1ny favorite lesbian P .I.) to figure that
out--the oversized button with a map of Texas on it is a sure
giveaway. I look again. More men than women. Where are the lesbians?
Are they still at work? Does this confirm yet another statistic, that
gay men earn more money than lesbians? Look, many of the men are
carrying suitbags with them, while I am taking only a tiny backpack,
the one that you carry books to school with. Guess who is not going
to any of the $500 per plate dinners . Most of the men sport the closecropped, cleaner-than-clean look. I'm not close enough to sniff their
after shave, butl bet they use Old Spice! Ah ha! Finally, two women
are approaching the gate area. Are they or aren't they? What a
wonderful way to kill time!
I am now enroute to DC. Have just had a nice chat with the gay
activist sitting next to me. Yes, I have broken my never-talk-tostrangers-on-the-airplane rule. In fact, we got along so well that he
gave me his business card, just in case I made it to Dallas in the
future. Don't worry, I only accept cards from gay men (and lesbians,
of course).
3 P.M. I am now walking toward Lambda Rising Bookstore.
My goodness, the line forming outside the store is almost a block
long! And the sidewalks are jammed with people. A mountain of
Washington Blade awaits the eager reader. I pick up a copy and find
to my delight that this issue runs more than 200 pages.
5 P.M. I amheading to my friend's house in Silver Spring. Back
in '87, another friend and I reserved a room in a downtown hotel only
to find upon arrival that the hotel had overbooked and could not give
us a room. Luckily, the front desk clerk remembered me from our
conservation in July and offered to find a room for us in another
hotel. After two hours of anxious nailbiting, we finally found
ourselves in a luxurious suite at the Omni Georgetown Hotel.
Although our experience had a happy ending, I am not in the mood
this time to risk being homeless. Thus, I am staying with a local
friend. She promises me dinner at an Indian restaurant. Yum, yum.
Day Two, 4/24/93.
10 A.M. I am munching a bagel at the Friends Meeting House
on Florida Avenue. I am here to meet other Asian lesbians. The first
time we ever got together as a group was in 1987. There were only
20 of us then, I wonder how many will show up today?
10:30 A.M .. We are operating on lesbian time--late!
11 :00 A.M. There are over 60 ofus in this room! I glance across
at Kitty Tsui, bodybuilder and poet. I catch her looking at me, or am
I just imagining it?
1:30 P.M. After what seems like an eternity of consensus
decision-making, we are close to agreeing on a date for our second
retreat. Our original plan was to have it in 1994, in New York, but
we soon realized that what with Stonewall 25 and Gay Games '94, we
simply could not handle another event. Labor Day weekend, 1995?
Somewhere on the east coast?
2:30 P .M. I am standing right outside the entrance to the Dupont
Circle metro stop, watching scores of lesbians and gay men riding up
the escalator to the street. Every now and then I hear laughter and
cheers ripple up from deep underground. Everybody looks so happy!
I look at my friend, whom I have not seen for three years, and we
smile at each other. Happy Days.
8
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
4:00 P.M. Look who's there! Pat Reaves & Co. They have just
been to the Mall to look at the AIDS quilt.
6:00 P.M. I am now heading back "home" to Silver Spring,
being too tired to stay for the Dyke March. (Turned out to be a major
mistake on my part, because everybody said it was a great experience.) Quiet dinner at home awaits me.
Day Three, 4/25/93:
10:30 A.M. I am walking down 14th St. toward Constitution.
My goodness, the base of Washington Monument is already packed
with people! How am I going to find anybody?
I almost run into Jewelle Gomez. •'Where are you heading,
honey?" she asks. "I am looking for Oklahoma, #31 I believe." She
points me to the right direction, but not before exchanging bear hugs.
I bump into Sherri and Carole, two friends from Nashville. All
we are able to do is grin at each other.
11 :00 A .M. I am with the Oklahoma contingent. Herland folks
are here, so too Simply Equal, OU'sGLBA, andOSU's. I know lam
home. I am glad I decided to join my fellow Oklahomans and not the
massive New York contingent or the Asian lesbians.
8 P.M. I am heading home, to Norman. The day has been a blur
for me. One thing I know for sure: The 1993 March On Washington
is a massive festival, not a protest. In fact, we were so busy laughing
and smiling that we forgot to shout the obligatory chants. My
D
favorite: ''10% is not enough! Recruit, recruit, recruit!''
Returning Marchers stop for a brief Rock-In action at a
Cracker Barrel Resturant somewhere in Indiana.
THE
1993
GAY, LESBIAN, AND
81 CIVIL RIGHTS BILL
The 1993 Gay, Lesbian, Bi Civil Rights Bill, HR 431 introduced by Henry Waxman, Don Edwards, Pat Schroeder, Gerry
Studds, Barney Frank and Jerold Nadler now has 51 current cosponsors . No Oklahoma congressman has signed on as a co-sponsor.
A BILL
To Prohibit discrimination on account of sexual orientation.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the
United States of America in Congress assembled,
SECTION 1 SHORT TITLE
This Act may be cited as the "Civil Rights Act of 1993."
SECTION 2, PROHIBITION
It shall be unlawful to discriminate against any person-(1) in employment, education, credit, or housing;
(2) in the sale or use of goods or services;
(3) with respect to any publice facility; or
(4) in any federally assisted program or activity; on acCJ
count of that person's sexual orientation, actual or percieved.
GLAAD
NOTES:
For the fashion trendy, Mademoiselle magazine has peeked into
the closet ... looking not for tired old clothes but for young women
who are leaving it!
"Women in Love," an article in the March issue, is all about
"baby dykes," "Lesbian Yuppies," "Womyn, Womon & Wimmin!"
A five page feature takes the reader into the world of young lesbians
coming out -- some joining the world of politics, some sitting home
in front of the tube, and others doing the women's club scene. This
story successfully challenges many of the myths that both gay and
straight people have about lesbianism.
MADEMOISELLE is an important source of information for
young people, so let's give three cheers to: Julie Lewit-Nirenberg,
Publisher, Mademoiselle, 350 Madison Avenue, New York, NY
10017.
CJ
Published by: Herland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 N.W. 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Newsletter Committee: Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox, Vivien Ng,
Pat Reaves
Circulation: 1000
Advertising Rates: Business card $15; 1/4 page $35; 1/2 page
$60; full page $100
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community discourse.
Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not necessarily those
of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and letters to the
editor are we lcomed and must be signed by the writer with full name
and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed under
a pseudonym or anonymously.
Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request.
The Voice is printed on recyc led paper.
Mary Reynolds at Rally Oklahoma
Mary Reynolds, one of Oklahoma's finest musicians and certainly
one of our favorites, is moving to Austin, Texas to further her
education and musical career. She'll be greatly missed but we send
her off with all our love and best thoughts. We know Mary is never
far from home in her heart and we expect to see her often in OKC.
MARY, WE'LL REMEMBER ---your talent, your music, those moments when the song, the
singer, and our souls touched and ignited.
We'll remember your smile, hugs, encouragement, your willingness to help and to share yourself.
We' 11 remember blueberry pancakes at Retreats, and campfires
that were warmer and brighter for your presence. We'll remember
your Herland Board work, the programs you planned and those you
continued at Hotel Bohemia.
We'll remember that you were a bridge we crossed into a greater
community, a broader contact with women's music, and a deeper
feeling for other beats, other rhythms, other eras of sortg.
We'll remember, because the pleasures, the hours, the pride you
gave us have formed bonds of friendship too strong to be severed by
the rough edges of parting.
We owe you, Mary; but we know that some debts can never be
paid. We know, too, that you were not lending but giving.
Take with you, then, our gratitude for your gifts, our love for
you, and our best wishes for your future.
You, dear Mary, were Herland's first song:
'' ... the melody lingers on.''
--JR
Her/and Voice May, 1993
9
HONORING MOTHERS
May, the month when we traditionally observe Mother's Day to
honor our mothers seems a particularly appropriate time to reflect on
the situation facing lesbian mothers. Without adequate legal protection for the custody rights of lesbian and gay, they face the constant
threat oflosing their children to an ex-spouse or even in some cases
to the state.
Approximately one year ago, papers were filed with the District
Court of Cleveland County in Oklahoma seeking the removal of two
young children from the custody of their mother. The Motion to
Modify the original divorce decree was motivated by the fact that the
mother was a lesbian, and shared her home with her lesbian lover.
However, the father was aware of the mother's sexual orientation
long before his request to modify custody and the mother had full
custody of her children since the 1988 divorce.
On April 22-23, 1992, a hearing was held in the District Court
of Cleveland County to determine the placement of the children.
Despite evidence showing that the children were well cared for,
happy and provided with a loving home, custody was immediately
taken from the mother and placed with the father. In his ruling, the
Judge determined that the mother was unfit because of her sexual
orientation and the immoral environment created for her children by
living with her partner. No evidence of harm or neglect of the
children was shown. Instead the father's case focused on the
mother's lesbian sexual orientation, the possibility of future harm to
the children because of her sexual orientation, and the father's
religious fervor.
This ruling was appealed to the State Supreme Court of
Oklahoma and the Supreme Court Justices passed it down to the
lower appellate court without comment. The Lambda Legal Defense
and Education Fund is providing assistance with this case.
On March 11, 1993, in Oklahoma County, custody of two
teenage children was removed from their mother because she is a
lesbian. Using the mother's lesbianism as justification, the father
sought to gain full custody rather than the joint custody which had
been followed since the mother and father divorced in 1988. In spite
of the children's desire to continue living with their mother, the
judge in the case agreed with the father that the mother's ' 'homosexual relationship'' is immoral and harmful to the children and
placed sole custody with their father. An appeal is pending.
Unfortunately, neither of these situations is unique. Lesbians
and gay men in Oklahoma face constant fear that they will lose their
children in similar custody battles. Each of these cases offers an
opportunity to change this situation. A positive decision by the
appellate court in either of these cases could set an important
precedent in the State of Oklahoma for future child custody cases
involving lesbians and gay men. The Herland Legal Defense Fund
was established in 1992 to help provide the financial support
necessary to win justice for our families. The expense of appealing
one case to the State Supreme Court is estimated at $20,000.
Through the generous contributions of friends all across the country,
over $7 ,000 has been raised. More is needed to continue fighting for
justice.
Please consider making a special Mother's Day contribution to
the Herland Legal Defense Fund to honor these and the many other
lesbian mothers and help us continue to fight for legal protection for
these families. Please make your check payable to the Her land Sister
Resources Legal Defense Fund and mail to: Herland Sister Resources, 2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112. Herland is
a 50l(c)3 organization and your contributions are tax deductible.
For more information about the Herland Legal Defense Fund please
l:l
write or call (405)521 -9696.
10
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
KNOWLEDGE IN RETREAT
Spring Retreat '93, will, as usual, be a time for learning as well
as relaxing. However, we're trying something new this time: an
"Open Workshop" arrangement that has been successful other
places . Here's how it works.
If you have knowledge--a special interestortechnique--that you
are willing to share or a subject you'd like to be discussed, come to
the Retreat prepared to lead a workshop. At the registration desk
we'll have a big Workshop Board where you'll list workshop subject/
title, your name, and length of time needed (please try to make it an
hour or less).
During Friday evening, retreaters will check the Board and
write their names by workshops they'd like to attend. (If you don't
sign up you can still attend workshops; but the numbers signed up
will help us set up the time and place schedule Friday night.)
How's that for simple rules?! Now for the exceptions ... We've
scheduled two workshops that required advance arrangements.
Giovanna Capone, who lives in San Francisco, most recently
appeared in print in the anthology, The Voices We Carry, which
contains a portion of her completed novel. She is corning to Roman
Nose to discuss and introduce ways of incorporating ethnic identity
and culture into our writing . Her workshop at the Retreat is not only
for writers: the material will include discussion on reclaiming
traditions from a lesbian point of view. " How you identify your
culture is essential to how you preserve it," Capone says.
Leslie Buck repairs books for a living and is constantly devising
cheap/easy/attractive ways to make books. Her workshop on Journal-making and Bookbinding will produce 8" X 5" books of 40-80
pages and include instruction sheets formaking books and note-pads
at home.
This is a great start to Retreat workshops. Be thinking about
what you want to teach or attend.
CREATING CHANGE
'93 HEADS SOUTH
The Creating Change Conference, sponsored by the National
Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), will be held November 1014, 1993 in Durham, N.C.
The 1993 Conference will include more than 40 skills-building
workshops, held November 12-14. In addition to the individual
workshops, there will be day-long concentrations inFight the Right,
Civil Rights/Privacy, Anti-Violence, Health, Age and Aging, Work
and Family, International/Stonewall 25, and Sex and Sexuality.
Creating Change '93 will also feature a two-day Movement
Building Institute. On November 10, activists may attend either the
People of Color Organizing Institute or the Diversity Training
Institute. On November 11, participants will attend the Race, Class,
and Gender Institute.
Partial scholarships are available for limited income activists
with disabilities and activists of color. To request a scholarship
application, write Ivy Young at NGLTF, 1734 14th. St., N.W .,
l:l
Washington, DC 20009.
- - - -- -- Honor a woman you love with a gift
to Sl.fPPOrt lesbian mothers' rights
We'll send a Mothers' Day appreelatlon
card to the woman of your choice.
Gitt subscriptions to Mom's Apple pje
newsletter for lesbian families: $1 Otyear.
LESBIAN MOTHERS' NATIONAL DEFENSE FUND
P.O. Box 21567, Seattle, WA 98111
(206) 325-2643 V/TIY
ONCE BURNED ... A RAPE
Mother and Bob were asleep. I locked myself in the bathroom
and sat in the corner on the floor, shivering and crying and picking the
splinters from under my nails . I thought of calling the police; I thought
of calling my brother.. .I thought of a lot of things and I'll try to tell you
themain reasons I didn'treport this rape (some of my reasoning may not
have been logical, but it was what I felt at the time): 1. It would make
my mother's life more difficult because Bob would lose either bis job
or a boss be liked and he' d find some way to call it promiscuity and
say "like mother, like daughter" ; 2. Mother wouldn't believe me--oh,
she wouldn' t dis.believe me, but, like when a deacon molested me at
church, she'd say I "must be mistaken"; 3. My brother was an OKC
policeman and I'd heard his stories of bow they laughed about rape cases;
4. If they laughed about his sister or if he could find Jay, I knew he'd
completely lose control and either get hurt or kill someone; 5. I was due
to fly out the next day--my daughter was waiting for me and I wanted to
get away, not stay for tests and court hearings and other painful stuff.. .!
just wanted to GET-OUT-OF-THERE.
I took a bath and packed. Just before we left for the airport the next
morning, two dozen long-stemmed red roses arrived for me with a note
that said, "Please forgive me. I'm sorry." It wasn't signed.
Thanks to my doctor, I didn't nosedive again. He was insistent that
nothing could destroy my inner strength unless I allowed it. I chose to
believe him. I did wonder, however, how I would feel about making love.
The next time I had sex, though, everything seemed fine. Afterwards we
were lying there, in what I think is called "after-glow," just chatting
quietly. My belly was sort of stinging so I turned on the light. As we
lay there, watching, my skin mottled, turned red, and large blisters
rose until my entire stomach was covered. I bad to have emergency
treatment for second-degree burns.
I no longer trust my mind when it tells me I'm O.K.
[J
STORY
by JR
I remember ... a time in my life when I finally "got it all
together." I remember ... a feeling of floating in ecstasy, of waking
up excited, of going to sleep still bubbling. It was wonderful, and
kind of frightening.
Over a five-year period my four male role-models--my greatgrandfather, grandfather, father, and husband--had all died. I went into
[hopefully, my worst] nosedive but, with my doctor's help, not only
pulled out but began to soar. It was as if I no longer concentrated my
energies on ''measuring up'' but began to be Me. Without all those
person-patterns I'd been trying to fill, I started finding out who I was: I
discovered that I was a pretty nice individual.
That's the history. The scene was Oklahoma City. I'd flown
home from overseas to visit my mother and to meet her new husband.
I wasn't pleased with what I'd found. After a lifetime of seeing
my mother as the chief authority figure (since Daddy was a sweet
dreamer and absent-minded-professor), I felt uncomfortable with
her new persona. My new step-father was pathologically jealous,
insensitive, verbally abusive, etc., and my mother took it. She
assured me that things would be better after they'd been married a
little longer and Bob felt more secure.
On my last night, Mother and Bob took me out for a farewell
dinner. They invited Bob's new boss, a mover-groover-bright-boy
destined for Yuppiehood. ''His wife and little girl are away visiting
her folks, and I know Jay must be lonely," Mother said.
No problem. He was too cocky for me to enjoy his company, but
he served his purpose--keeping Bob busy talking shop so Mother and
I could visit. Bob had too much to drink, though, and Jay had to drive
us home. On the way Bob started in on Mother about something and
he was still raving after Jay helped him into the house. Mother was
fussing over him and looked distressed when I started to defend her;
so when Jay suggested we "drive around" until Mother got Bob to
bed, I agreed.
After about five minutes' drive and small talk about how the
City had changed, Jay parked at an apartment complex and came
around to open my door. "Where are we?" I asked.
''This is where I live. I thought we could just have a cup of
coffee and I'll telephone your mother to see if Bob's asleep and she's
all right.'' I said I'd rather go back because I had to pack, but he was
politely firm and seemed to be motivated by concern for my
mother ... so we went up to his apartment.
I didn't get the coffee; he didn't make the 'phone call. Instead,
he grabbed me. I pushed him away. I felt no danger, only anger and
impatience. I started for the door and he grabbed me again. In my
whole post-puberty experience with men, I had never been in a
situation I couldn't control; but panic set in when he ripped my
blouse off as I ran for the door.
The feeling I remember strongest is one of powerlessness. I had
never seriously fought before, and to use all my strength and all my
lung power and find both totally useless was terrifying. He dragged
me toward the bedroom; I struggled; he pkked me up and I grabbed
the door jamb then the door; I clawed; I kicked. By the time he pinned
me on the bed I was no longer thinking coherently. I remember
sobbing over and over, "Please don't--l'm happy!"
Perhaps some of that soaked in because he paused, looked down
at me, and said, with what sounded like genuine concern, "Would
you rather I'd come in your mouth?"
"No, no, no, no ... " I managed to kick him again before be
returned to the body-press.
I think that the only other thing I said was, afterwards, "What
will your wife say?''
"Oh, she knows," he said. "She knows I can't help it."
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AUGUST 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 & 15, 1993
Her/and Voice May, 1993
11
JltJl. l. l~'l1 IN Jlct1llll)
Among the musical delights in May, don't
overlook Elyse Angelo's Percussion Recital
and Farewell Party for Mary at the Hotel
Bohemia on May 7; call 528-0020forreservations.
After two Sunday sessions as agroup,Women
with Women with Children is ready to move
on to the most important phases of any group
that has children -- having fun and EATING.
They invite all women and their chidren to a
potluck Italian Feast on Sunday May the 18th
at3320NW21st,OKCfrom 1 to5 pm. Please
RSVP to 942-4331.
Another non-traditional musical event is the
Jam Session at St. Paul's Episcopal Church at
7th and Robinson, OKC, on May 23rd; from
5 -8 pm. Hosted by Miss Brown To You, there
will be various jazz and blues artists, performing for a benefit for St. George's Guild
Food Closet. This will be a perfect event to
wind down from the wonderful Retreat at
Roman Nose.
Hurricane Alice, a writer's quarterly, is developing a Fall issue on Native American
women writers. Submissions of poetry, short
stories, essays, other writing, and artwork are
welcomed. Carolyn Bordeaux, an enrolled
memberofthe Rosebud Sioux (Sicangu Lakota
in their language), will be editing this special
Indian women' s edition. She can be reached
by calling (612)331-8812 or writing 113
Warwick St. S.W., Minneapolis, MN 55414
or the Hurricane Alice office at 207 Lind Hall,
207 Church Street SE, Minneapolis, MN
55455.
Gay &Lesbian professional, business and social
organizations have establisled GLOBAL, Gay
and Lesbian Organizations Bridging Across the
Land to facilitate communication among its
member organizations and encourage the sharing of ideas and opportunities for professional
development. For information contact Maureen
O'Leary at (510) 652-1946.
Mark your calendar now for a lawn party at
Herland featuring Erika Wheeler in performance on June 6. We'll have hot dogs available starting at 6: 30 and Erika will perform at
7 P.M. It'll be a great way to spend a summer
evening!
Lesbian only counseling group, Wednesday
evenings. Contact Jo L. Soske M .Ed. ,
MHR,NCADC,NCC,LPC at 364-5708.
The Syvenna Foundation writers' retreat for
women invites applications for its residency
program. Located near Linden, Texas, the
Syvenna Foundation operates four residency
terms per year. The program is designed for
women of all ages who are at the beginning or
intermediate stage of their writing careers.
All types of writing - academic, creative, or
technical - are considered. Each successful
applicant is provided with a private cottage
and a stipend of $300 per month. For further
information, write: The Syvenna Foundation,
Route 1, Box 193, Linden, Texas 75563; or
call: 903/835-8252.
Herland Sister Resources presents
1993 SPRING RETREAT
FOR WOMEN
May 21- 23
Roman Nose State Park
(NEAR WATONGA, OKLAHOMA)
Single Person's
Annual Income
under $ 6,500
$ 6,500-$13,250
$13.250-$19,500
$19.500-$30,000
over $30,000
Retreat Preregistration fee
$15
$25
$35
$45
$60
Household Annual Income
(2 or more persons)
under $13,300
$13,300-$18,000
$18,000-$26,000
$26,000-$30,000
over $50,000
Please choose the registration fee most appropriate f~r
you based on these suggested income guidelines.
.
Complete and return the pre-registration form to
Herland, 2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112 .
NAME:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ __ PHONE: _ _ _ _ _ _ __
ADDRESS: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
CITY:
Registration fee enclosed: D $15
STATE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ZIP _ _ _ _ _ __
D $25
D I'm enclosing an additional $
D $35
D $45
D $60
to provide retreat scholarships.
D I need a scholarship to attend.
D I would like to ride with someone.
Return to:
HERLAND
2312 N.W. 39th
D I can help provide rides to the retreat.
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
-
May, 1993
THE MARCH ON
WASHINGTON
The Neon Girls
SPRING RETREAT
Herland Sister Resources presents its 1993 Spring Retreat for
women at Roman Nose State Park (near Watonga, OK), May 21-23,
1993. Registration begins at 4 PM on Friday, May 21, with the
formal opening ceremony at 9 PM. Activities will wind up Sunday
morning with check-out time at noon.
The featured entertainers are the Neon Girls (aka Christy and
Joan). They have been performing together since 1985, have opened
shows for Diedre McCalla, Ferron, Alix Dobkin and Judy Small, and
delivered a powerful closing set at the 3rd Annual Gulf Coast
Women's Festival.
Don't forget to bring your musical instrument and songs, your
poetry or other entertainment so you can be a part of the open mike
on Saturday afternoon. There will also be campfire sings on Friday
night and Saturday evening after the concert.
The registration fee for the retreat is on a sliding scale from $15$60; on-site registration is $60. Limited scholarships are available
and must be requested in advance. Registration includes lodging in
group camp, Friday evening meal, Saturday and Sunday brunch,
concert and workshops. Bring your favorite covered dish for the
Saturday night potluck. If you bring pets, they must be on a leash.
Camping is available in the group camp.
For more information, leave a message for Laura at Herland
(405) 521-9696. For retreat flyers, contact Renee (405) 366-1138.Cl
Volume IO Number 5
A million or so people marched in Washing ton D. C. on April 25,
in the March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Liberation --the largest Civil Rights demonstration ever.
Barney Frank, Massachusetts Congressman, speaking at the
March rally said, ''This march will have a significant impact in
getting people to organize themselves, to be activated to act politically. A lot of members of Congress are going to hear from them
instead of being guided by abstract opinion polls." President
Clinton, who declined an invitation to address the marchers, sent a
letter to the gathering: ''I stand with you in the struggle for equality
for all Americans, including gay men and lesbians. In this great
country, founded on the principle that all people are created equal,
we must learn to put aside what divides us and focus on what we
share.''
A massively political event, there were dozens of workshops,
town meetings, and networking/planning meetings throughout the
week, where serious work was done by dedicated activists; Her land's
and Si,Piply Equal's Pat Reaves participated in a panel at the
NGLTF's Town Meeting on Saturday, discussing Simply Equal's
activity in Oklahoma in response to the religious/radical right. The
March nonetheless felt like one large week-long party to most of the
participants.
The Dyke March on Saturday evening was a lusty rowdy
celebration of women. Twenty thousand women marched from
DuPont Circle to the White House, filling the streets with drumming,
cheering, and passionate sisterhood for forty blocks.
A feeling of camaraderie prevailed throughout the Capitol, with
gays and lesbians on every corner. The Metro, D.C.'s subway, was
a "family" party.
Also on Saturday, in a demonstration organized by ACT-UP,
demonstrators holding a red ribbon linked arms and encircled the
Capitol to demand a more committed fight against AIDS by our
lawmakers. To show their displeasure with Congress, demonstrators
stood with their back to the Capitol.
In another March-related demonstration, about 1500 people
participated in a marriage/commitment ceremony, which was addressed by Karen Thompson as Sharon Kowalski sat beside her.
At the celebration at the end of the march, a gigantic rainbow
flag was passed from one end of the gathered crowd to the other, and
back again; a beautiful and defining moment for many. There was a
candlelight vigil at the Holocaust Museum; a special showing of The
Quilt; a reception for opponents of the ban on gays and lesbians in
the military, at which a young highly decorated soldier came out in
full dress uniform. There were dances and concerts and comedians
everywhere.
It was a sorrowful, joyful, political, celebratory experience of
incredible intensity, and it will change millions of lives and the
world. As Torie Osborn, executive director of the National Gay &
Lesbian Task Force said, "We are the new American refugees,
[J
coming home from exile."
Berland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112
Sr. Sve1L
TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION
Sybil Ludington, Matron Saint of the Forgotten Woman, answers the
occasional odd question in this space.
by Pat Reaves
Dear St. Sybil,
I've been hearing rumors flying around about one of the lesbian
couples Her land has been raising money for; like, they lost their kids
because they were manhating feminists, not because they were
lesbians. What do you know about this?
Signed,
Concerned
Dear Concerned,
That's really interesting. Do you think a manhating feminist
straight woman would lose her kids? Not on your life, honey, not for
that reason; she wouldn't even be in court.
Well then, do you think if those lesbian women really loved
men, only just not sexually, - that if they thought men were the
greatest thing since electric lights, they would still have their kids?
Honey, honey, get a life, get a grip; the trial was about lesbian
mothers, - the word ''lesbian' ' was used over 500 times in the course
of the proceedings; and it was the basis of the judge's decision.
Maybe it's time you learned the ten top reasons why a dad
doesn't get custody of his kids if their mother's a lesbian:
10. He's gay too.
9. He's deceased.
8. He's a convicted felon serving time
7. He's serving time for child abuse
6. Doesn't want them
5. Doesn't want them
4. Doesn' t want them
3. Doesn't want them
2. Doesn' t want them
1. Smart unmarried mother didn't put his name on birth
certificate.
This situation can change, but not if you keep your head buried
in the sand or in other dark places. There will be an appellate ruling
one day that homosexuality is not grounds for removal of one's
children, and gay parents will be freer and breathe more easily; but
it will not come without work and sacrifice. And I have a feeling you
knew this without me saying it. Oh well.
Take care,
[J
Sybil
April, 1993 will be remembered as a momentous time in the
struggle for protection of the civil rights of lesbians, gays and
bisexuals. The March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal
Rights and Liberation drew over a million people to Washington,
D.C. to join in the demand for civil and human rights. Smaller scale
but equally significant events occurred in Oklahoma. On April 25,
in an unprecedented event, over three hundred Oklahomans -- gay,
lesbian and friends -- rallied on the steps of the State Capitol in
support of the March on Washington and called for recognition of the
human rights of all people. In Norman, earlier in April, lesbians,
gays and their friends demonstrated against a local bar owner's
posting of a sign, ''No Dykes.''
I had the opportunity to participate in two of these events, the
March on Washington and the Norman demonstrations. Although
the March on Washington will be recorded in history as a watershed
event for gay/lesbian/bi civil rights, for me, the demonstrations in
Norman were equally significant and empowering .
We went to the Lower Deck in Norman because we could no
longer be silent in the face of homophobic hate. We went to become
visible -- to make sure the owner would have to confront real, live
lesbians. We went to make sure that others -- the bar patrons and the
people of Norman and Oklahoma -- would know that lesbians and
gays are routinely .subjected to discrimination and denial of their
human and civil rights. We went to say we will not take this denial
of our rights silently.
We went at great risk. Initially, we were anxious about arrest.
We knew we were confronting people who feared and hated us. We
feared the violence threatened against us by the bar owner and
encouraged by a disc jockey for an OKC radio station. Some of us
feared the consequences of becoming publicly identified as lesbian
or gay.
We went to Washing ton for visibility on a grand scale. For one
brief weekend lesbians, gays, and bisexuals were the norm. We were
everywhere: on the streets, in the subway, in restaurants and hotels.
We demanded a federal civil rights bill protecting our rights as equal
persons under the law. We celebrated our community in all its
diversity without fear.
Becoming visible is an act of revolution from which there is no
turning back. In April, 1993 we have said loudly and plainly that
gays and lesbians are here and we demand our full human rights. The
homophobic backlash and the counterdemonstrators with their shouts
of hatred and threats will not stop us.
A banner reading ''A Simple Matter of Justice'' hung from the
March on theWashington stage. In Washington and in Norman we
announced we will settle for nothing less.
Acting on the belief that we have the right to be has changed us
--as individuals, communities, and society. With courage, we have
claimed our power.
[J
IN
MEMORY:
CESAR CHAVEZ,
1927 - 1993.
Chavez organized the farm workers of California. Through his
vision, his union, strikes, periodic fasts to dramatize " the pain and
suffering of the faqn workers,'' and a grape boycott, he secured a
contract with the vinyards in 1970.
Among the major achievements of the United Farm Workers
was the replacement of back-breaking short hoes with long ones.
A "secular saint in the tradition of Gandhi," Chavez was a
model and an inspiration to all who wish to leave the world better
than they found it.
Please remember, his boycott of California grapes continues
today.
[J
2109 S. Air Depot
Midwest City, OK 73110
AirDepotAnimal Hospital
Call for Appointment
2 Her/and Voice
May, 1993
(405)737-0496
JOY HUSKA, D.V.M
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST
LESBIANS
BY THE
LOWER DECK
by Helen Miller
Editors Note: The Lower Deck, a bar near the OU campus in
Norman, was the site of demonstrations prompted by the owners
posting of a "No Dykes" sign and refusal to serve women she
believed to be lesbians. The account below by one of the women
involved in the original incident chronicles the events and the
resulting demonstrations.
April 1, 1993
A group of seven women went to the Lower Deck to socialize
and play pool. After purchasing beer, we noticed a prominently
displayed sign behind the bar listing the week's specials. The
Thursday listing said, ''Thursday: Ladies' night free longnecks
10- 5 No Dykes." Upon seeing the sign, two separate women asked
that it be removed because we found it offensive. Both the bartender
and the owner, Nicole ''Cola'' Rankin refused to remove the sign.
April 6, 1993
Kerman Raines, co-chair of Simply Equal of Noman went to
visit with Rankin to resolve the issue. 'Cola Rankin did apologize
for the sign; however she stated her intent was still clear. She still
did not want lesbians in her establshment. She cited as reasons (a)
ladies' night is designed to draw men who will buy drinks and men
won't want to drink with lesbians present because "we won't get no
sap out of them trees; (b) lesbians aren't well groomed and don't
dress well and would bring down the quality of the atmosphere of her
bar.
When approached about her use of the term ''dyke'' (the word
she uses for lesbians), Ms. Rankin stated, "If they are going to live
that lifestyle, they have to be ready to be called such names."
April 8, 1993
A group of twenty-eight people (predominately women) went to
the Lower Deck to drink beer for ladies night. The sign behind the
bar had been changed to read "Thursday: manger's [sic] choice."
When asked, the bartender informed us that there was no drink
special that night and that we would have to purchase drinks to stay.
After purchasing our drinks, several women two-stepped and another woman proposed a toast to the passage of the Spousal Rape
Bill.
At this point Rankin turned up the lights, unplugged the juke
box, and announced, ''Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is now closed.
You must leave." We asked why no one else was being asked to
leave, but she only responded by repeating that the bar was closed.
Next, Rankin herded the other customers into a small gameroom
in the bar and left to call the police. On her way back inside, she said,
"Ifl had a rope behind the bar, I'd hang 'email high.'' The bartender
was also heard saying that if he had a shotgun, he'd shoot one of the
gays, and if it were double-barreled, he could shoot two.
After consulting with the police officers, Rankin returned and
announced that this was now a private party and the group (which by
now included all who spoke to us) must leave immediately. The
officer in charge, Sgt. McKenzie, informed the group that the owner
or manager of an establishment has the right to refuse service to
anyone. Then, the seven police officers escorted the group out,
where we went to the public sidewalk and chanted in protest before
dispersing peacefully.
April 14, 1993.
Simply Equal of Norman sponsored a rally near the Lower Deck
on April 14, 1993, to protest these discriminatory actions. More than
forty people showed up to picket the business. Six women, some of
whom had never been to the business, attempted to enter the bar, but
were refused admittance.
This time Rankin stated she was exercising the right to refuse
service to anyone. When asked why we were being refused, she
responded that we had disrupted her business the previous week and
accused us of misconduct, saying we were ''groping and fondling''
one another. We pointed out that there had been absolutely no
groping or fondling by any of us and that two of us had never been
there before. Rankin said she would still refuse service to all of us
and insisted that we leave. We left and joined the legal picket
outside.
April 15, 1993
Simply Equal of Norman again sponsored a legal picket outside
the Lower Deck to bring these discriminatory actions to the attention
of the citizens of Norman. Approximately forty people took part in
this demonstration.
Rankin had been quoted in local media threatening violence
against any picketers and an OKC disc jockey had encouraged
violence against demonstrators on his radio show. Norman police
were present in force to protect the demonstrators from violence by
counterdemonstrators who heckled the protestors from passing cars
and the parking lot of the bar.
We are filing complaints with the Norman Human Rights
Commission. We are hopeful that a liberal reading of Norman's
Civil Rights Ordinance will address this discrimination.
[J
DYKE-IN AT THE LOWER DECK
WHEREAS: "Ladies Night,'' with its offer of free beer and no
cover charge for unescorted females is not an altruistic gesture to
the underpaid working woman, but a cynical device designed to
draw in and inebriate young, heterosexual females and use them to
lure (higher paid) males to spend their money; and large contingents
of elderly women, homeless mothers or nuns accepting the invitation of No Cover and Free Beer would be as unwelcome to the bar
management as are lesbians;
AND: "Ladies" is a euphemism for "Women,'' a word too earthy
and powerful for many people to accept comfortably; "Women"
signifies all adult females; "Dykes,'' as used by homophobic
people, is a derogatory term for ''Lesbians,'' a word too earthy and
powerful for many people to accept comfortably; "Lesbians" are
intrinsically, invariably women;
AND: A notice indicating that "ladies" but not "dykes" will
receive certain benefits is purposely rude, insulting, exclusionary,
discriminatory and provocative;
THEREFORE: We invite all people of good will, of whatever sex
or sexuality, to join with us in protesting this human rights affront
to the dignity of women who are your mothers, daughters, sisters,
wives. We urge all women to join us in our "Dyke In,'' and all men
to deny the bartheir patronage and their coin, until the management's
policy is reversed and an apology to all women is rendered. We also
urge the City of Norman to pass a Public Accommodation Act and
a Human Rights Act to outlaw discrimination of any kind on the
basis of race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, national
origin, age, or handicap.
This action is co -sponsored by KBS, an association of liberation
activists based in Oklahoma; KBS is named/or Underground Railroad
heroine Kathryn Bradley Sparrow, who risked her hard-won freedom
from servitude to help her sisters and brothers in the struggle.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
3
of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Stillwater, Paul Thompson
of OGLPC, Laura Rhodes of the National Association of Social
Workers, and Rev . John Nichols of the Lighthouse Metropolitan
Community Church.
Rev. Nichols said, '' Our rights are not something pulled out of
thin air ... Our rights are written into codes that existed long before the
U.S. Constitution. What we seek is nothing less than what we
deserve as humans. Our rights are ours because we live, because we
are human beings.''
The afternoon was enlivened and inspired with music by Deb
Roberts, Mary Reynolds and Peggy Johnson. At the end of the
afternoon, the group joined hands, encircled the South Steps Plaza,
and sang together Holly Near's "We Are Gentle Angry People" - a
song which became the unofficial anthem of the March in Washington. At the identical moment in time that it was being sung in
Oklahoma City, it was being sung by myriad groups across the
country, in Washington D.C. and at similar companion events in
other states . We are gentle, angry people, and we are singing,
singing for our lives. Gay and straight, women and men, all
colors, all ages, singing, singing for our lives.
Photo by Pat Colognesi
RALLY
OKLAHOMA
''I don't believe it takes 'courage' for a politician to be here this
afternoon. I think it is the right thing to do. What we are about today
is human dignity. We have to stand together and ensure human
rights."
The speaker was State Representative Angela Monson, one of
several politicians who, despite her disclaimer, did show unusual
courage in appearing and speaking in support of Lesbian, Gay and Bi
Equal Rights at Rally Oklahoma, a companion demonstration to the
million strong March in Washington, held at the Oklahoma State
Capitol on April 25.
"The NAACP understands and appreciates the struggle that
you're in .. .It's simple. All people must be free," said Roosevelt
Milton, head of the local chapterof the NAACP. ' 'You keep fighting
and we will find liberation and justice for gay people in America."
Messages of support from Rabbi David Packman of Temple
B' Nai Israel, from Frosty Troy, Editor of the Oklahoma Observer,
Secretary of State John Kennedy and Mike Turpen, Chair of the
Oklahoma State Democratic Party, were read by participants Steve
Lazarus of OUGLBA, Jack Wozniak of the Gayly, the Reverend
Donna Compton of Unity Coalition, and Nathaniel Batchelder of the
Peace House. In addition to Rep. Monson and Mr. Milton, speakers
included State Senator Bernest Cain, who said ''We need to change
all forms of discrimination in Oklahoma, and I will continue to work
with you."
Other speakers included Representative Laura Boyd, Rev.
Robin Myers of Mayflower Congregationalist Church, Herland
Board member Peggy Johnson, and Susan Dunlop of Jobs with
Justice. Also speaking were Karen Ray of NOW, Rex Friend of the
National Lawyers Guild, Pat Snead of P-FLAG, Rev. Carol Fincher
4
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
Photo by Pa t Co log nesi
The rally, held in Oklahoma City on the South Steps of the
Capitol, was sponsored in part by the OGLPC, Simply Equal,
Herland Sister Resources, the Oklahoma Women's Network, PFLAG, OU Young Democrats, the NAACP, the ACLU, the Peace
House, and the Social Justice Committee of the First Unitarian
Church. Other co-sponsors were Jobs with Justice, Gayly Oklahoman, STAT/Act Up, Oklahoma Toxics Campaign, the National
Organization for Women, the Gay Christian Ecumenical Council,
Christ the King Metro Community Church, Other Options, NASW,
the Coalition of Latin American Human & Civil Rights Advocates,
and The Parachute.
D
MEMORIES OF THE MARCH
The caravan to and from Washington was 50+ hours of fun and
physical torment. We had two vans, which were connected by CB
radios. We sang, told riddles and jokes, swapped Deep Thoughts and
Deep Queries, and had a great time not only on the vans but between
them.
After we were serenaded with ''Oklahoma'' by the San Francisco men's chorus, we sang it ourselves, at the top of our lungs,
thirty or forty times during the march. Sometimes the initial
· '000000000000'' would last nearly half a block before we fell
off into " ...klahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the
plains" - spirits were very high.
We also had a great chant that delighted the crowd; ask any of
us what it was, we'd be glad to share it with you; but we're not putting
it in print ...
On the way back to Oklahoma we passed a Cracker Barrel
Restaurant - the restaurant chain which has a policy of refusing to
hire gays and lesbians. We decided that a peaceful protest would be
a pleasant activity, and held a Pee-in - we all used the rest rooms, but
no one spent a penny for gas, food or souvenirs. The front porch of
the restaurant was lined with rocking chairs for sale, so after the Peein we also held a Rock-in, (see photo), rocking happily while we
greeted a tour bus ... We were actually so nice and peaceful that they
never knew they had been the target of a demonstration; but still we
enjoyed ourselves.
SNAPSHOT MEMORIES FROM
THE
OK
CONTINGENT:
asked his mother, ''Why are they singing?'' This woman, who
appeared to be straight, smiled at her son and answered, "They're
singing for their freedom. ''
Helen: My most memorable moments include seeing the hundreds
of thousands of Gay - Lesbian - Bi people assembling in the Mall,
seeing Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas walking through the Mall to
the rally stage (I took Tina's picture between them), hearing the San
Francisco men sing ''Oklahoma'' to the Oklahoma contingent, and
seeing the numerous gay families with children everywhere. I can
hardly wait to tell my own children and grandchildren all about it.
Laura: Two memories: 1) In the subway a cheer began and the
whole station was packed with people who were gay, cheering,
echoing, - we~ the subway. 2) As the rainbow flag was sent
back with everyone touching and passing, a lone man in a wheelchair
rolled himself in its path, crying; he struggled and lifted his frail
body up just enough to reach up and let it brush his finger tips, then
dropped back in the chair looking totally content.
Kevan: The 26-hour ride there; talking back and forth between vans
on the CB; DuPont Circle, the stores, the sights, the thousands of
queers; the leather people all decked out standing on the steps of the
Mellon Auditorium; the Dyke March; getting my t-shirt signed by
women from everywhere; the wild time at The Phase Saturday night;
the March - like a Gay Woodstock- turning the corner at the end and
seeing a sea of people with the Capitol in the background; the endless
ride back, and most of all the eleven other Okie ( & Texas) dykes who
went. I missed them the day after we got back.
Margaret: It was a wonderful five-day long weekend, filled with
fun, hilarity and joy; with old friends, new friends, and family. I
could pick almost any moment of the entire weekend and laugh out
loud with pleasure. One moment that stirred my soul as much as any
I can ever remember, was standing arm and arm with Dale as he and
I and Holly Near and a million or so other folks sang "We Are
Gentle, Angry People''.
Marquetta; "Oh when the Dykes go marching in, I want to be in that
number" - Hooray! I was in that number of powerful wimmin. The
last count I heard was 20,000 in the Dyke March. We had fun as we
walked from DuPont Circle to the Capitol. It feels empowering to be
a part of female energy.
Dale: The sense ofcommunity, "family" if you will, permeated the
city and each of our hearts. Unity, with no divisions between women
and men, or any other groups, was our overriding theme . Standing
there at the march in this huge group of family and experiencing
these emotions moved me deeply and convinced me that we will
prevail. We are all changed in immeasurable ways and in our hearts,
we were all there!
Michelle: Of the tens of thousands of women, cheers in the subway
and variety of things to do in Washigton, viewing the AIDS quilt will
remain in my mind as the most incredible and touching moment of
my trip. It was awesome to see the time, love, and patience poured
into remembering our beloved brothers and sisters.
Terry: We were on the Metro, about 90% ofus gay and lesbian, and
we spontaneously began to sing' 'We Are Gentle Angry People"; the
subway car was filled with it. A small boy near me looked up and
Tina: I was part of the largest civil rights march in the history of the
U.S. This incredible experience renewed my hope that within my
lifetime, we may actually win the rights and opportunities we
deserve (at least legally, ifnot socially). One of the more memorable
parts of this grand experience was our taking over of the city,
particularly the Metro (subway system). For once, we were blatantly
visible, we were the majority, we were even the norm. Several times
on the Metro, we occupied entire trains, except for a few wide-eyed
straight people who clung to one another in awe. How empowering
and unifying it all was!
Cindy; My favorite chants were: the S-M Leather Fetish contingent,
"Where's Bill? He's all tied up!" and at the end of the San Francisco
contingent·the men were chanting, " We're tired. we're bitchy. We
want our rights now!" Then of course there's Melissa [Etheridge]
with her hands on my body signing my back. She looks even better
in the daylight than she looks in the dark.
Pat: After the wonderful - like nothing ever before - dyke march, we
were taking the Metro back to the hotel. When we changed trains,
the Metro Center was crowded with lesbians and gays. Walking
down the side of the track, I waved my cap (lavender of course) over
my head and yelled. In an instant the whole metro was filled with
[J
cheers from the crowd cheering ourselves.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
5
THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON FOR LESBIAN I
The Oklahoma contingent
The Mall was filled with Marchers and the crowd
spilled over into surrounding streets.
PLATFORM OF THE
1993
MARCH ON WASHI
RIGHTS AND LIBERATION
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender movement recog
struggles against racism and sexism, class bias, economic injustice
we all are oppressed. The diversity of our movement requires and co
the quality of life for all people. We will be vigilant in our determin
and exploitation, so that all of us can develop to our full human potenf
identity, gender and gender expression, ability, age or class.
The Dyke March from Dupont Circle to the Mall included
20, 000 marchers and many thousand more supporters .
6
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
THE MARCH DEMANDS
1. We demand passage of a Lesbian, Gay, :!3isexual, and Transge
governments including the military; repeal of all sodomy laws a
consenting adults.
2. We demand massive increase in funding for AIDS education
alternative therapies; and an end to sexism in medical research an
3. We demand legislation to prevent discrimination against
family diversity, custody, adoption and foster care and that the def
4. We demand full and equal inclusion of Lesbians, Gays, Bi
inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans gender studies in m
5. We demand the right to reproductive freedom and choice, t
6. We demand an end to racial and ethnic discrimination in al
7. We demand an end to discrimination and violent oppression
religion, identity, sex and gender expression, disability, age, class,
GAY AND
81
EQUAL RIGHTS AND LIBERATION
aits to step off in the March.
noN FOR LESBIAN, GAY, AND
81
EauAL
Cindy Bookout carrying the Oklahoma flag led the Oklahoma
marchers on to the Mall.
~s that our quest for social justice fundamentally links us to the
1 religious intolerance. We must realize if one of us is oppressed
.s us to stand in opposition to all forms of oppression that diminish
il to rid our movement and our society of all forms of oppression
.vithoutregard to race, religion, sexual orientation, identification,
:r civil rights bill and an end to discrimination by state and federal
other laws that criminalize private sexual expression between
;earch, and patient care; universal access to health care including
alth care.
ians, Gays , Bisexuals and Transgendered people in the areas of
ion of family includes the full diversity of all family structures .
.uals and Transgendered people in the educational system, and
:ultural curricula.
)ntrol our own bodies, and an end to sexist discrimination.
rms.
ed on actual or perceived sexual orientation, identification, race,
OS/HIV infection.
A popular banner.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
7
19 9
3
1
As Suzanne Pharr says, "The religious right is unified by its racism, sexism, and homophobia, and we on
the left are divided by ours." Doc Herland thinks that Simply Equal is an organization that might be able
to turn this around and unify the progressive movement in Oklahoma. Go to meetings, check it out, do your
part •••
2
3
MISS BROWN
TO YOU
ALBUM PARTY
at.. f"Hps,
2 - 6 p.m.
g
11HPLY EQUAL
OKC Chapter
Meetine
7 pm
al Tesllne
The Limits,
Coa1s &
Elections
i~eal Defense 11
f"und. 6:30 pm
New Members
Welcome!!!
•
HISS BROWN
TO YOU
at.. VZDs, 8:45
16
17
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Percussion
Recila1 &
f"arewellPart..y
fbr 11ary
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12
13
14
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Reynolds
at.. La
Baauelte
in Norman.
g pm
Simply Equal
of OKC
7 pm
al Herland
Everyone is
Welcome
18
19
20
21
HERLAN.O
RETREAT
at
Roman Nose
25
It
Jam Session
at.. Sl. Pauls
Hosted by
11BTY
31
28
27
Simply EQual
of OKC
7 Piii
at Herland
Everyone is
Welcome
PEGGY
JOHNSON
at
La Ba£Suelte
in Norman
8:30 - li:30
15
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7 PDl
24
8
CoDA, 7 pm
al Herland Everyone is
Welco111e
Her1and
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30
6
Simply Equal
of OKC
Herl and
Board
1'1eelin£1
3:30 p.m.
23
5.
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and
the Ga1a
Hay Day Ball
•
ouii'C'aii
Sally Ride
Astronaut..
Born fQSf
CoDA, 7 Piii
f878 - fQ27
Pioneer of
Modern Dance
other Birthdays in May:
John Brown, Abolitionist, Martyr, May 9, 1800 - 1859
Margaret Fuller, Feminist, Philosopher, May 23, 1810 - 1950
Mary Harris (Mother) Jones, May 1, 1830 - 1930
Harvey Milk, May 21, 1930 - 1978
Malcolm X, May 19, 1925 - 1965
HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES INC.
2312 N.\\I. 39th Street
Oklahoma Cit)', Oklahoma 73112
405/ 521-9696
Hours: Sat.urda~s iO - 6: Sunda~s f - 6
2
~ETREAT
al
ROMAN NOSE
Tonl£1hl In
Concert al
the Retreat.:
THE
NEON GIRLS
29
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, Okla.
2312 N.W. 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112
ADDRESS CORRECTION REQUESTED
RETURN POSTAGE GUARANTEED
Permit No. 861
MOW
NOTEBOOK
by Vivien Ng
Day One, 4/23/93
I am sitting at Gate 10, Delta Terminal. D'f'W Airport. I look
around me and find a sea of fellow mard1ers. Mostly Texans. One
doesn't have to be Pam Nilsen (1ny favorite lesbian P .I.) to figure that
out--the oversized button with a map of Texas on it is a sure
giveaway. I look again. More men than women. Where are the lesbians?
Are they still at work? Does this confirm yet another statistic, that
gay men earn more money than lesbians? Look, many of the men are
carrying suitbags with them, while I am taking only a tiny backpack,
the one that you carry books to school with. Guess who is not going
to any of the $500 per plate dinners . Most of the men sport the closecropped, cleaner-than-clean look. I'm not close enough to sniff their
after shave, butl bet they use Old Spice! Ah ha! Finally, two women
are approaching the gate area. Are they or aren't they? What a
wonderful way to kill time!
I am now enroute to DC. Have just had a nice chat with the gay
activist sitting next to me. Yes, I have broken my never-talk-tostrangers-on-the-airplane rule. In fact, we got along so well that he
gave me his business card, just in case I made it to Dallas in the
future. Don't worry, I only accept cards from gay men (and lesbians,
of course).
3 P.M. I am now walking toward Lambda Rising Bookstore.
My goodness, the line forming outside the store is almost a block
long! And the sidewalks are jammed with people. A mountain of
Washington Blade awaits the eager reader. I pick up a copy and find
to my delight that this issue runs more than 200 pages.
5 P.M. I amheading to my friend's house in Silver Spring. Back
in '87, another friend and I reserved a room in a downtown hotel only
to find upon arrival that the hotel had overbooked and could not give
us a room. Luckily, the front desk clerk remembered me from our
conservation in July and offered to find a room for us in another
hotel. After two hours of anxious nailbiting, we finally found
ourselves in a luxurious suite at the Omni Georgetown Hotel.
Although our experience had a happy ending, I am not in the mood
this time to risk being homeless. Thus, I am staying with a local
friend. She promises me dinner at an Indian restaurant. Yum, yum.
Day Two, 4/24/93.
10 A.M. I am munching a bagel at the Friends Meeting House
on Florida Avenue. I am here to meet other Asian lesbians. The first
time we ever got together as a group was in 1987. There were only
20 of us then, I wonder how many will show up today?
10:30 A.M .. We are operating on lesbian time--late!
11 :00 A.M. There are over 60 ofus in this room! I glance across
at Kitty Tsui, bodybuilder and poet. I catch her looking at me, or am
I just imagining it?
1:30 P.M. After what seems like an eternity of consensus
decision-making, we are close to agreeing on a date for our second
retreat. Our original plan was to have it in 1994, in New York, but
we soon realized that what with Stonewall 25 and Gay Games '94, we
simply could not handle another event. Labor Day weekend, 1995?
Somewhere on the east coast?
2:30 P .M. I am standing right outside the entrance to the Dupont
Circle metro stop, watching scores of lesbians and gay men riding up
the escalator to the street. Every now and then I hear laughter and
cheers ripple up from deep underground. Everybody looks so happy!
I look at my friend, whom I have not seen for three years, and we
smile at each other. Happy Days.
8
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
4:00 P.M. Look who's there! Pat Reaves & Co. They have just
been to the Mall to look at the AIDS quilt.
6:00 P.M. I am now heading back "home" to Silver Spring,
being too tired to stay for the Dyke March. (Turned out to be a major
mistake on my part, because everybody said it was a great experience.) Quiet dinner at home awaits me.
Day Three, 4/25/93:
10:30 A.M. I am walking down 14th St. toward Constitution.
My goodness, the base of Washington Monument is already packed
with people! How am I going to find anybody?
I almost run into Jewelle Gomez. •'Where are you heading,
honey?" she asks. "I am looking for Oklahoma, #31 I believe." She
points me to the right direction, but not before exchanging bear hugs.
I bump into Sherri and Carole, two friends from Nashville. All
we are able to do is grin at each other.
11 :00 A .M. I am with the Oklahoma contingent. Herland folks
are here, so too Simply Equal, OU'sGLBA, andOSU's. I know lam
home. I am glad I decided to join my fellow Oklahomans and not the
massive New York contingent or the Asian lesbians.
8 P.M. I am heading home, to Norman. The day has been a blur
for me. One thing I know for sure: The 1993 March On Washington
is a massive festival, not a protest. In fact, we were so busy laughing
and smiling that we forgot to shout the obligatory chants. My
D
favorite: ''10% is not enough! Recruit, recruit, recruit!''
Returning Marchers stop for a brief Rock-In action at a
Cracker Barrel Resturant somewhere in Indiana.
THE
1993
GAY, LESBIAN, AND
81 CIVIL RIGHTS BILL
The 1993 Gay, Lesbian, Bi Civil Rights Bill, HR 431 introduced by Henry Waxman, Don Edwards, Pat Schroeder, Gerry
Studds, Barney Frank and Jerold Nadler now has 51 current cosponsors . No Oklahoma congressman has signed on as a co-sponsor.
A BILL
To Prohibit discrimination on account of sexual orientation.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the
United States of America in Congress assembled,
SECTION 1 SHORT TITLE
This Act may be cited as the "Civil Rights Act of 1993."
SECTION 2, PROHIBITION
It shall be unlawful to discriminate against any person-(1) in employment, education, credit, or housing;
(2) in the sale or use of goods or services;
(3) with respect to any publice facility; or
(4) in any federally assisted program or activity; on acCJ
count of that person's sexual orientation, actual or percieved.
GLAAD
NOTES:
For the fashion trendy, Mademoiselle magazine has peeked into
the closet ... looking not for tired old clothes but for young women
who are leaving it!
"Women in Love," an article in the March issue, is all about
"baby dykes," "Lesbian Yuppies," "Womyn, Womon & Wimmin!"
A five page feature takes the reader into the world of young lesbians
coming out -- some joining the world of politics, some sitting home
in front of the tube, and others doing the women's club scene. This
story successfully challenges many of the myths that both gay and
straight people have about lesbianism.
MADEMOISELLE is an important source of information for
young people, so let's give three cheers to: Julie Lewit-Nirenberg,
Publisher, Mademoiselle, 350 Madison Avenue, New York, NY
10017.
CJ
Published by: Herland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 N.W. 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Newsletter Committee: Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox, Vivien Ng,
Pat Reaves
Circulation: 1000
Advertising Rates: Business card $15; 1/4 page $35; 1/2 page
$60; full page $100
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community discourse.
Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not necessarily those
of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and letters to the
editor are we lcomed and must be signed by the writer with full name
and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed under
a pseudonym or anonymously.
Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request.
The Voice is printed on recyc led paper.
Mary Reynolds at Rally Oklahoma
Mary Reynolds, one of Oklahoma's finest musicians and certainly
one of our favorites, is moving to Austin, Texas to further her
education and musical career. She'll be greatly missed but we send
her off with all our love and best thoughts. We know Mary is never
far from home in her heart and we expect to see her often in OKC.
MARY, WE'LL REMEMBER ---your talent, your music, those moments when the song, the
singer, and our souls touched and ignited.
We'll remember your smile, hugs, encouragement, your willingness to help and to share yourself.
We' 11 remember blueberry pancakes at Retreats, and campfires
that were warmer and brighter for your presence. We'll remember
your Herland Board work, the programs you planned and those you
continued at Hotel Bohemia.
We'll remember that you were a bridge we crossed into a greater
community, a broader contact with women's music, and a deeper
feeling for other beats, other rhythms, other eras of sortg.
We'll remember, because the pleasures, the hours, the pride you
gave us have formed bonds of friendship too strong to be severed by
the rough edges of parting.
We owe you, Mary; but we know that some debts can never be
paid. We know, too, that you were not lending but giving.
Take with you, then, our gratitude for your gifts, our love for
you, and our best wishes for your future.
You, dear Mary, were Herland's first song:
'' ... the melody lingers on.''
--JR
Her/and Voice May, 1993
9
HONORING MOTHERS
May, the month when we traditionally observe Mother's Day to
honor our mothers seems a particularly appropriate time to reflect on
the situation facing lesbian mothers. Without adequate legal protection for the custody rights of lesbian and gay, they face the constant
threat oflosing their children to an ex-spouse or even in some cases
to the state.
Approximately one year ago, papers were filed with the District
Court of Cleveland County in Oklahoma seeking the removal of two
young children from the custody of their mother. The Motion to
Modify the original divorce decree was motivated by the fact that the
mother was a lesbian, and shared her home with her lesbian lover.
However, the father was aware of the mother's sexual orientation
long before his request to modify custody and the mother had full
custody of her children since the 1988 divorce.
On April 22-23, 1992, a hearing was held in the District Court
of Cleveland County to determine the placement of the children.
Despite evidence showing that the children were well cared for,
happy and provided with a loving home, custody was immediately
taken from the mother and placed with the father. In his ruling, the
Judge determined that the mother was unfit because of her sexual
orientation and the immoral environment created for her children by
living with her partner. No evidence of harm or neglect of the
children was shown. Instead the father's case focused on the
mother's lesbian sexual orientation, the possibility of future harm to
the children because of her sexual orientation, and the father's
religious fervor.
This ruling was appealed to the State Supreme Court of
Oklahoma and the Supreme Court Justices passed it down to the
lower appellate court without comment. The Lambda Legal Defense
and Education Fund is providing assistance with this case.
On March 11, 1993, in Oklahoma County, custody of two
teenage children was removed from their mother because she is a
lesbian. Using the mother's lesbianism as justification, the father
sought to gain full custody rather than the joint custody which had
been followed since the mother and father divorced in 1988. In spite
of the children's desire to continue living with their mother, the
judge in the case agreed with the father that the mother's ' 'homosexual relationship'' is immoral and harmful to the children and
placed sole custody with their father. An appeal is pending.
Unfortunately, neither of these situations is unique. Lesbians
and gay men in Oklahoma face constant fear that they will lose their
children in similar custody battles. Each of these cases offers an
opportunity to change this situation. A positive decision by the
appellate court in either of these cases could set an important
precedent in the State of Oklahoma for future child custody cases
involving lesbians and gay men. The Herland Legal Defense Fund
was established in 1992 to help provide the financial support
necessary to win justice for our families. The expense of appealing
one case to the State Supreme Court is estimated at $20,000.
Through the generous contributions of friends all across the country,
over $7 ,000 has been raised. More is needed to continue fighting for
justice.
Please consider making a special Mother's Day contribution to
the Herland Legal Defense Fund to honor these and the many other
lesbian mothers and help us continue to fight for legal protection for
these families. Please make your check payable to the Her land Sister
Resources Legal Defense Fund and mail to: Herland Sister Resources, 2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112. Herland is
a 50l(c)3 organization and your contributions are tax deductible.
For more information about the Herland Legal Defense Fund please
l:l
write or call (405)521 -9696.
10
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
KNOWLEDGE IN RETREAT
Spring Retreat '93, will, as usual, be a time for learning as well
as relaxing. However, we're trying something new this time: an
"Open Workshop" arrangement that has been successful other
places . Here's how it works.
If you have knowledge--a special interestortechnique--that you
are willing to share or a subject you'd like to be discussed, come to
the Retreat prepared to lead a workshop. At the registration desk
we'll have a big Workshop Board where you'll list workshop subject/
title, your name, and length of time needed (please try to make it an
hour or less).
During Friday evening, retreaters will check the Board and
write their names by workshops they'd like to attend. (If you don't
sign up you can still attend workshops; but the numbers signed up
will help us set up the time and place schedule Friday night.)
How's that for simple rules?! Now for the exceptions ... We've
scheduled two workshops that required advance arrangements.
Giovanna Capone, who lives in San Francisco, most recently
appeared in print in the anthology, The Voices We Carry, which
contains a portion of her completed novel. She is corning to Roman
Nose to discuss and introduce ways of incorporating ethnic identity
and culture into our writing . Her workshop at the Retreat is not only
for writers: the material will include discussion on reclaiming
traditions from a lesbian point of view. " How you identify your
culture is essential to how you preserve it," Capone says.
Leslie Buck repairs books for a living and is constantly devising
cheap/easy/attractive ways to make books. Her workshop on Journal-making and Bookbinding will produce 8" X 5" books of 40-80
pages and include instruction sheets formaking books and note-pads
at home.
This is a great start to Retreat workshops. Be thinking about
what you want to teach or attend.
CREATING CHANGE
'93 HEADS SOUTH
The Creating Change Conference, sponsored by the National
Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), will be held November 1014, 1993 in Durham, N.C.
The 1993 Conference will include more than 40 skills-building
workshops, held November 12-14. In addition to the individual
workshops, there will be day-long concentrations inFight the Right,
Civil Rights/Privacy, Anti-Violence, Health, Age and Aging, Work
and Family, International/Stonewall 25, and Sex and Sexuality.
Creating Change '93 will also feature a two-day Movement
Building Institute. On November 10, activists may attend either the
People of Color Organizing Institute or the Diversity Training
Institute. On November 11, participants will attend the Race, Class,
and Gender Institute.
Partial scholarships are available for limited income activists
with disabilities and activists of color. To request a scholarship
application, write Ivy Young at NGLTF, 1734 14th. St., N.W .,
l:l
Washington, DC 20009.
- - - -- -- Honor a woman you love with a gift
to Sl.fPPOrt lesbian mothers' rights
We'll send a Mothers' Day appreelatlon
card to the woman of your choice.
Gitt subscriptions to Mom's Apple pje
newsletter for lesbian families: $1 Otyear.
LESBIAN MOTHERS' NATIONAL DEFENSE FUND
P.O. Box 21567, Seattle, WA 98111
(206) 325-2643 V/TIY
ONCE BURNED ... A RAPE
Mother and Bob were asleep. I locked myself in the bathroom
and sat in the corner on the floor, shivering and crying and picking the
splinters from under my nails . I thought of calling the police; I thought
of calling my brother.. .I thought of a lot of things and I'll try to tell you
themain reasons I didn'treport this rape (some of my reasoning may not
have been logical, but it was what I felt at the time): 1. It would make
my mother's life more difficult because Bob would lose either bis job
or a boss be liked and he' d find some way to call it promiscuity and
say "like mother, like daughter" ; 2. Mother wouldn't believe me--oh,
she wouldn' t dis.believe me, but, like when a deacon molested me at
church, she'd say I "must be mistaken"; 3. My brother was an OKC
policeman and I'd heard his stories of bow they laughed about rape cases;
4. If they laughed about his sister or if he could find Jay, I knew he'd
completely lose control and either get hurt or kill someone; 5. I was due
to fly out the next day--my daughter was waiting for me and I wanted to
get away, not stay for tests and court hearings and other painful stuff.. .!
just wanted to GET-OUT-OF-THERE.
I took a bath and packed. Just before we left for the airport the next
morning, two dozen long-stemmed red roses arrived for me with a note
that said, "Please forgive me. I'm sorry." It wasn't signed.
Thanks to my doctor, I didn't nosedive again. He was insistent that
nothing could destroy my inner strength unless I allowed it. I chose to
believe him. I did wonder, however, how I would feel about making love.
The next time I had sex, though, everything seemed fine. Afterwards we
were lying there, in what I think is called "after-glow," just chatting
quietly. My belly was sort of stinging so I turned on the light. As we
lay there, watching, my skin mottled, turned red, and large blisters
rose until my entire stomach was covered. I bad to have emergency
treatment for second-degree burns.
I no longer trust my mind when it tells me I'm O.K.
[J
STORY
by JR
I remember ... a time in my life when I finally "got it all
together." I remember ... a feeling of floating in ecstasy, of waking
up excited, of going to sleep still bubbling. It was wonderful, and
kind of frightening.
Over a five-year period my four male role-models--my greatgrandfather, grandfather, father, and husband--had all died. I went into
[hopefully, my worst] nosedive but, with my doctor's help, not only
pulled out but began to soar. It was as if I no longer concentrated my
energies on ''measuring up'' but began to be Me. Without all those
person-patterns I'd been trying to fill, I started finding out who I was: I
discovered that I was a pretty nice individual.
That's the history. The scene was Oklahoma City. I'd flown
home from overseas to visit my mother and to meet her new husband.
I wasn't pleased with what I'd found. After a lifetime of seeing
my mother as the chief authority figure (since Daddy was a sweet
dreamer and absent-minded-professor), I felt uncomfortable with
her new persona. My new step-father was pathologically jealous,
insensitive, verbally abusive, etc., and my mother took it. She
assured me that things would be better after they'd been married a
little longer and Bob felt more secure.
On my last night, Mother and Bob took me out for a farewell
dinner. They invited Bob's new boss, a mover-groover-bright-boy
destined for Yuppiehood. ''His wife and little girl are away visiting
her folks, and I know Jay must be lonely," Mother said.
No problem. He was too cocky for me to enjoy his company, but
he served his purpose--keeping Bob busy talking shop so Mother and
I could visit. Bob had too much to drink, though, and Jay had to drive
us home. On the way Bob started in on Mother about something and
he was still raving after Jay helped him into the house. Mother was
fussing over him and looked distressed when I started to defend her;
so when Jay suggested we "drive around" until Mother got Bob to
bed, I agreed.
After about five minutes' drive and small talk about how the
City had changed, Jay parked at an apartment complex and came
around to open my door. "Where are we?" I asked.
''This is where I live. I thought we could just have a cup of
coffee and I'll telephone your mother to see if Bob's asleep and she's
all right.'' I said I'd rather go back because I had to pack, but he was
politely firm and seemed to be motivated by concern for my
mother ... so we went up to his apartment.
I didn't get the coffee; he didn't make the 'phone call. Instead,
he grabbed me. I pushed him away. I felt no danger, only anger and
impatience. I started for the door and he grabbed me again. In my
whole post-puberty experience with men, I had never been in a
situation I couldn't control; but panic set in when he ripped my
blouse off as I ran for the door.
The feeling I remember strongest is one of powerlessness. I had
never seriously fought before, and to use all my strength and all my
lung power and find both totally useless was terrifying. He dragged
me toward the bedroom; I struggled; he pkked me up and I grabbed
the door jamb then the door; I clawed; I kicked. By the time he pinned
me on the bed I was no longer thinking coherently. I remember
sobbing over and over, "Please don't--l'm happy!"
Perhaps some of that soaked in because he paused, looked down
at me, and said, with what sounded like genuine concern, "Would
you rather I'd come in your mouth?"
"No, no, no, no ... " I managed to kick him again before be
returned to the body-press.
I think that the only other thing I said was, afterwards, "What
will your wife say?''
"Oh, she knows," he said. "She knows I can't help it."
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AUGUST 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 & 15, 1993
Her/and Voice May, 1993
11
JltJl. l. l~'l1 IN Jlct1llll)
Among the musical delights in May, don't
overlook Elyse Angelo's Percussion Recital
and Farewell Party for Mary at the Hotel
Bohemia on May 7; call 528-0020forreservations.
After two Sunday sessions as agroup,Women
with Women with Children is ready to move
on to the most important phases of any group
that has children -- having fun and EATING.
They invite all women and their chidren to a
potluck Italian Feast on Sunday May the 18th
at3320NW21st,OKCfrom 1 to5 pm. Please
RSVP to 942-4331.
Another non-traditional musical event is the
Jam Session at St. Paul's Episcopal Church at
7th and Robinson, OKC, on May 23rd; from
5 -8 pm. Hosted by Miss Brown To You, there
will be various jazz and blues artists, performing for a benefit for St. George's Guild
Food Closet. This will be a perfect event to
wind down from the wonderful Retreat at
Roman Nose.
Hurricane Alice, a writer's quarterly, is developing a Fall issue on Native American
women writers. Submissions of poetry, short
stories, essays, other writing, and artwork are
welcomed. Carolyn Bordeaux, an enrolled
memberofthe Rosebud Sioux (Sicangu Lakota
in their language), will be editing this special
Indian women' s edition. She can be reached
by calling (612)331-8812 or writing 113
Warwick St. S.W., Minneapolis, MN 55414
or the Hurricane Alice office at 207 Lind Hall,
207 Church Street SE, Minneapolis, MN
55455.
Gay &Lesbian professional, business and social
organizations have establisled GLOBAL, Gay
and Lesbian Organizations Bridging Across the
Land to facilitate communication among its
member organizations and encourage the sharing of ideas and opportunities for professional
development. For information contact Maureen
O'Leary at (510) 652-1946.
Mark your calendar now for a lawn party at
Herland featuring Erika Wheeler in performance on June 6. We'll have hot dogs available starting at 6: 30 and Erika will perform at
7 P.M. It'll be a great way to spend a summer
evening!
Lesbian only counseling group, Wednesday
evenings. Contact Jo L. Soske M .Ed. ,
MHR,NCADC,NCC,LPC at 364-5708.
The Syvenna Foundation writers' retreat for
women invites applications for its residency
program. Located near Linden, Texas, the
Syvenna Foundation operates four residency
terms per year. The program is designed for
women of all ages who are at the beginning or
intermediate stage of their writing careers.
All types of writing - academic, creative, or
technical - are considered. Each successful
applicant is provided with a private cottage
and a stipend of $300 per month. For further
information, write: The Syvenna Foundation,
Route 1, Box 193, Linden, Texas 75563; or
call: 903/835-8252.
Herland Sister Resources presents
1993 SPRING RETREAT
FOR WOMEN
May 21- 23
Roman Nose State Park
(NEAR WATONGA, OKLAHOMA)
Single Person's
Annual Income
under $ 6,500
$ 6,500-$13,250
$13.250-$19,500
$19.500-$30,000
over $30,000
Retreat Preregistration fee
$15
$25
$35
$45
$60
Household Annual Income
(2 or more persons)
under $13,300
$13,300-$18,000
$18,000-$26,000
$26,000-$30,000
over $50,000
Please choose the registration fee most appropriate f~r
you based on these suggested income guidelines.
.
Complete and return the pre-registration form to
Herland, 2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112 .
NAME:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ __ PHONE: _ _ _ _ _ _ __
ADDRESS: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
CITY:
Registration fee enclosed: D $15
STATE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ZIP _ _ _ _ _ __
D $25
D I'm enclosing an additional $
D $35
D $45
D $60
to provide retreat scholarships.
D I need a scholarship to attend.
D I would like to ride with someone.
Return to:
HERLAND
2312 N.W. 39th
D I can help provide rides to the retreat.
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
-
May, 1993
THE MARCH ON
WASHINGTON
The Neon Girls
SPRING RETREAT
Herland Sister Resources presents its 1993 Spring Retreat for
women at Roman Nose State Park (near Watonga, OK), May 21-23,
1993. Registration begins at 4 PM on Friday, May 21, with the
formal opening ceremony at 9 PM. Activities will wind up Sunday
morning with check-out time at noon.
The featured entertainers are the Neon Girls (aka Christy and
Joan). They have been performing together since 1985, have opened
shows for Diedre McCalla, Ferron, Alix Dobkin and Judy Small, and
delivered a powerful closing set at the 3rd Annual Gulf Coast
Women's Festival.
Don't forget to bring your musical instrument and songs, your
poetry or other entertainment so you can be a part of the open mike
on Saturday afternoon. There will also be campfire sings on Friday
night and Saturday evening after the concert.
The registration fee for the retreat is on a sliding scale from $15$60; on-site registration is $60. Limited scholarships are available
and must be requested in advance. Registration includes lodging in
group camp, Friday evening meal, Saturday and Sunday brunch,
concert and workshops. Bring your favorite covered dish for the
Saturday night potluck. If you bring pets, they must be on a leash.
Camping is available in the group camp.
For more information, leave a message for Laura at Herland
(405) 521-9696. For retreat flyers, contact Renee (405) 366-1138.Cl
Volume IO Number 5
A million or so people marched in Washing ton D. C. on April 25,
in the March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Liberation --the largest Civil Rights demonstration ever.
Barney Frank, Massachusetts Congressman, speaking at the
March rally said, ''This march will have a significant impact in
getting people to organize themselves, to be activated to act politically. A lot of members of Congress are going to hear from them
instead of being guided by abstract opinion polls." President
Clinton, who declined an invitation to address the marchers, sent a
letter to the gathering: ''I stand with you in the struggle for equality
for all Americans, including gay men and lesbians. In this great
country, founded on the principle that all people are created equal,
we must learn to put aside what divides us and focus on what we
share.''
A massively political event, there were dozens of workshops,
town meetings, and networking/planning meetings throughout the
week, where serious work was done by dedicated activists; Her land's
and Si,Piply Equal's Pat Reaves participated in a panel at the
NGLTF's Town Meeting on Saturday, discussing Simply Equal's
activity in Oklahoma in response to the religious/radical right. The
March nonetheless felt like one large week-long party to most of the
participants.
The Dyke March on Saturday evening was a lusty rowdy
celebration of women. Twenty thousand women marched from
DuPont Circle to the White House, filling the streets with drumming,
cheering, and passionate sisterhood for forty blocks.
A feeling of camaraderie prevailed throughout the Capitol, with
gays and lesbians on every corner. The Metro, D.C.'s subway, was
a "family" party.
Also on Saturday, in a demonstration organized by ACT-UP,
demonstrators holding a red ribbon linked arms and encircled the
Capitol to demand a more committed fight against AIDS by our
lawmakers. To show their displeasure with Congress, demonstrators
stood with their back to the Capitol.
In another March-related demonstration, about 1500 people
participated in a marriage/commitment ceremony, which was addressed by Karen Thompson as Sharon Kowalski sat beside her.
At the celebration at the end of the march, a gigantic rainbow
flag was passed from one end of the gathered crowd to the other, and
back again; a beautiful and defining moment for many. There was a
candlelight vigil at the Holocaust Museum; a special showing of The
Quilt; a reception for opponents of the ban on gays and lesbians in
the military, at which a young highly decorated soldier came out in
full dress uniform. There were dances and concerts and comedians
everywhere.
It was a sorrowful, joyful, political, celebratory experience of
incredible intensity, and it will change millions of lives and the
world. As Torie Osborn, executive director of the National Gay &
Lesbian Task Force said, "We are the new American refugees,
[J
coming home from exile."
Berland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112
Sr. Sve1L
TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION
Sybil Ludington, Matron Saint of the Forgotten Woman, answers the
occasional odd question in this space.
by Pat Reaves
Dear St. Sybil,
I've been hearing rumors flying around about one of the lesbian
couples Her land has been raising money for; like, they lost their kids
because they were manhating feminists, not because they were
lesbians. What do you know about this?
Signed,
Concerned
Dear Concerned,
That's really interesting. Do you think a manhating feminist
straight woman would lose her kids? Not on your life, honey, not for
that reason; she wouldn't even be in court.
Well then, do you think if those lesbian women really loved
men, only just not sexually, - that if they thought men were the
greatest thing since electric lights, they would still have their kids?
Honey, honey, get a life, get a grip; the trial was about lesbian
mothers, - the word ''lesbian' ' was used over 500 times in the course
of the proceedings; and it was the basis of the judge's decision.
Maybe it's time you learned the ten top reasons why a dad
doesn't get custody of his kids if their mother's a lesbian:
10. He's gay too.
9. He's deceased.
8. He's a convicted felon serving time
7. He's serving time for child abuse
6. Doesn't want them
5. Doesn't want them
4. Doesn' t want them
3. Doesn't want them
2. Doesn' t want them
1. Smart unmarried mother didn't put his name on birth
certificate.
This situation can change, but not if you keep your head buried
in the sand or in other dark places. There will be an appellate ruling
one day that homosexuality is not grounds for removal of one's
children, and gay parents will be freer and breathe more easily; but
it will not come without work and sacrifice. And I have a feeling you
knew this without me saying it. Oh well.
Take care,
[J
Sybil
April, 1993 will be remembered as a momentous time in the
struggle for protection of the civil rights of lesbians, gays and
bisexuals. The March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal
Rights and Liberation drew over a million people to Washington,
D.C. to join in the demand for civil and human rights. Smaller scale
but equally significant events occurred in Oklahoma. On April 25,
in an unprecedented event, over three hundred Oklahomans -- gay,
lesbian and friends -- rallied on the steps of the State Capitol in
support of the March on Washington and called for recognition of the
human rights of all people. In Norman, earlier in April, lesbians,
gays and their friends demonstrated against a local bar owner's
posting of a sign, ''No Dykes.''
I had the opportunity to participate in two of these events, the
March on Washington and the Norman demonstrations. Although
the March on Washington will be recorded in history as a watershed
event for gay/lesbian/bi civil rights, for me, the demonstrations in
Norman were equally significant and empowering .
We went to the Lower Deck in Norman because we could no
longer be silent in the face of homophobic hate. We went to become
visible -- to make sure the owner would have to confront real, live
lesbians. We went to make sure that others -- the bar patrons and the
people of Norman and Oklahoma -- would know that lesbians and
gays are routinely .subjected to discrimination and denial of their
human and civil rights. We went to say we will not take this denial
of our rights silently.
We went at great risk. Initially, we were anxious about arrest.
We knew we were confronting people who feared and hated us. We
feared the violence threatened against us by the bar owner and
encouraged by a disc jockey for an OKC radio station. Some of us
feared the consequences of becoming publicly identified as lesbian
or gay.
We went to Washing ton for visibility on a grand scale. For one
brief weekend lesbians, gays, and bisexuals were the norm. We were
everywhere: on the streets, in the subway, in restaurants and hotels.
We demanded a federal civil rights bill protecting our rights as equal
persons under the law. We celebrated our community in all its
diversity without fear.
Becoming visible is an act of revolution from which there is no
turning back. In April, 1993 we have said loudly and plainly that
gays and lesbians are here and we demand our full human rights. The
homophobic backlash and the counterdemonstrators with their shouts
of hatred and threats will not stop us.
A banner reading ''A Simple Matter of Justice'' hung from the
March on theWashington stage. In Washington and in Norman we
announced we will settle for nothing less.
Acting on the belief that we have the right to be has changed us
--as individuals, communities, and society. With courage, we have
claimed our power.
[J
IN
MEMORY:
CESAR CHAVEZ,
1927 - 1993.
Chavez organized the farm workers of California. Through his
vision, his union, strikes, periodic fasts to dramatize " the pain and
suffering of the faqn workers,'' and a grape boycott, he secured a
contract with the vinyards in 1970.
Among the major achievements of the United Farm Workers
was the replacement of back-breaking short hoes with long ones.
A "secular saint in the tradition of Gandhi," Chavez was a
model and an inspiration to all who wish to leave the world better
than they found it.
Please remember, his boycott of California grapes continues
today.
[J
2109 S. Air Depot
Midwest City, OK 73110
AirDepotAnimal Hospital
Call for Appointment
2 Her/and Voice
May, 1993
(405)737-0496
JOY HUSKA, D.V.M
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST
LESBIANS
BY THE
LOWER DECK
by Helen Miller
Editors Note: The Lower Deck, a bar near the OU campus in
Norman, was the site of demonstrations prompted by the owners
posting of a "No Dykes" sign and refusal to serve women she
believed to be lesbians. The account below by one of the women
involved in the original incident chronicles the events and the
resulting demonstrations.
April 1, 1993
A group of seven women went to the Lower Deck to socialize
and play pool. After purchasing beer, we noticed a prominently
displayed sign behind the bar listing the week's specials. The
Thursday listing said, ''Thursday: Ladies' night free longnecks
10- 5 No Dykes." Upon seeing the sign, two separate women asked
that it be removed because we found it offensive. Both the bartender
and the owner, Nicole ''Cola'' Rankin refused to remove the sign.
April 6, 1993
Kerman Raines, co-chair of Simply Equal of Noman went to
visit with Rankin to resolve the issue. 'Cola Rankin did apologize
for the sign; however she stated her intent was still clear. She still
did not want lesbians in her establshment. She cited as reasons (a)
ladies' night is designed to draw men who will buy drinks and men
won't want to drink with lesbians present because "we won't get no
sap out of them trees; (b) lesbians aren't well groomed and don't
dress well and would bring down the quality of the atmosphere of her
bar.
When approached about her use of the term ''dyke'' (the word
she uses for lesbians), Ms. Rankin stated, "If they are going to live
that lifestyle, they have to be ready to be called such names."
April 8, 1993
A group of twenty-eight people (predominately women) went to
the Lower Deck to drink beer for ladies night. The sign behind the
bar had been changed to read "Thursday: manger's [sic] choice."
When asked, the bartender informed us that there was no drink
special that night and that we would have to purchase drinks to stay.
After purchasing our drinks, several women two-stepped and another woman proposed a toast to the passage of the Spousal Rape
Bill.
At this point Rankin turned up the lights, unplugged the juke
box, and announced, ''Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is now closed.
You must leave." We asked why no one else was being asked to
leave, but she only responded by repeating that the bar was closed.
Next, Rankin herded the other customers into a small gameroom
in the bar and left to call the police. On her way back inside, she said,
"Ifl had a rope behind the bar, I'd hang 'email high.'' The bartender
was also heard saying that if he had a shotgun, he'd shoot one of the
gays, and if it were double-barreled, he could shoot two.
After consulting with the police officers, Rankin returned and
announced that this was now a private party and the group (which by
now included all who spoke to us) must leave immediately. The
officer in charge, Sgt. McKenzie, informed the group that the owner
or manager of an establishment has the right to refuse service to
anyone. Then, the seven police officers escorted the group out,
where we went to the public sidewalk and chanted in protest before
dispersing peacefully.
April 14, 1993.
Simply Equal of Norman sponsored a rally near the Lower Deck
on April 14, 1993, to protest these discriminatory actions. More than
forty people showed up to picket the business. Six women, some of
whom had never been to the business, attempted to enter the bar, but
were refused admittance.
This time Rankin stated she was exercising the right to refuse
service to anyone. When asked why we were being refused, she
responded that we had disrupted her business the previous week and
accused us of misconduct, saying we were ''groping and fondling''
one another. We pointed out that there had been absolutely no
groping or fondling by any of us and that two of us had never been
there before. Rankin said she would still refuse service to all of us
and insisted that we leave. We left and joined the legal picket
outside.
April 15, 1993
Simply Equal of Norman again sponsored a legal picket outside
the Lower Deck to bring these discriminatory actions to the attention
of the citizens of Norman. Approximately forty people took part in
this demonstration.
Rankin had been quoted in local media threatening violence
against any picketers and an OKC disc jockey had encouraged
violence against demonstrators on his radio show. Norman police
were present in force to protect the demonstrators from violence by
counterdemonstrators who heckled the protestors from passing cars
and the parking lot of the bar.
We are filing complaints with the Norman Human Rights
Commission. We are hopeful that a liberal reading of Norman's
Civil Rights Ordinance will address this discrimination.
[J
DYKE-IN AT THE LOWER DECK
WHEREAS: "Ladies Night,'' with its offer of free beer and no
cover charge for unescorted females is not an altruistic gesture to
the underpaid working woman, but a cynical device designed to
draw in and inebriate young, heterosexual females and use them to
lure (higher paid) males to spend their money; and large contingents
of elderly women, homeless mothers or nuns accepting the invitation of No Cover and Free Beer would be as unwelcome to the bar
management as are lesbians;
AND: "Ladies" is a euphemism for "Women,'' a word too earthy
and powerful for many people to accept comfortably; "Women"
signifies all adult females; "Dykes,'' as used by homophobic
people, is a derogatory term for ''Lesbians,'' a word too earthy and
powerful for many people to accept comfortably; "Lesbians" are
intrinsically, invariably women;
AND: A notice indicating that "ladies" but not "dykes" will
receive certain benefits is purposely rude, insulting, exclusionary,
discriminatory and provocative;
THEREFORE: We invite all people of good will, of whatever sex
or sexuality, to join with us in protesting this human rights affront
to the dignity of women who are your mothers, daughters, sisters,
wives. We urge all women to join us in our "Dyke In,'' and all men
to deny the bartheir patronage and their coin, until the management's
policy is reversed and an apology to all women is rendered. We also
urge the City of Norman to pass a Public Accommodation Act and
a Human Rights Act to outlaw discrimination of any kind on the
basis of race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, national
origin, age, or handicap.
This action is co -sponsored by KBS, an association of liberation
activists based in Oklahoma; KBS is named/or Underground Railroad
heroine Kathryn Bradley Sparrow, who risked her hard-won freedom
from servitude to help her sisters and brothers in the struggle.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
3
of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Stillwater, Paul Thompson
of OGLPC, Laura Rhodes of the National Association of Social
Workers, and Rev . John Nichols of the Lighthouse Metropolitan
Community Church.
Rev. Nichols said, '' Our rights are not something pulled out of
thin air ... Our rights are written into codes that existed long before the
U.S. Constitution. What we seek is nothing less than what we
deserve as humans. Our rights are ours because we live, because we
are human beings.''
The afternoon was enlivened and inspired with music by Deb
Roberts, Mary Reynolds and Peggy Johnson. At the end of the
afternoon, the group joined hands, encircled the South Steps Plaza,
and sang together Holly Near's "We Are Gentle Angry People" - a
song which became the unofficial anthem of the March in Washington. At the identical moment in time that it was being sung in
Oklahoma City, it was being sung by myriad groups across the
country, in Washington D.C. and at similar companion events in
other states . We are gentle, angry people, and we are singing,
singing for our lives. Gay and straight, women and men, all
colors, all ages, singing, singing for our lives.
Photo by Pat Colognesi
RALLY
OKLAHOMA
''I don't believe it takes 'courage' for a politician to be here this
afternoon. I think it is the right thing to do. What we are about today
is human dignity. We have to stand together and ensure human
rights."
The speaker was State Representative Angela Monson, one of
several politicians who, despite her disclaimer, did show unusual
courage in appearing and speaking in support of Lesbian, Gay and Bi
Equal Rights at Rally Oklahoma, a companion demonstration to the
million strong March in Washington, held at the Oklahoma State
Capitol on April 25.
"The NAACP understands and appreciates the struggle that
you're in .. .It's simple. All people must be free," said Roosevelt
Milton, head of the local chapterof the NAACP. ' 'You keep fighting
and we will find liberation and justice for gay people in America."
Messages of support from Rabbi David Packman of Temple
B' Nai Israel, from Frosty Troy, Editor of the Oklahoma Observer,
Secretary of State John Kennedy and Mike Turpen, Chair of the
Oklahoma State Democratic Party, were read by participants Steve
Lazarus of OUGLBA, Jack Wozniak of the Gayly, the Reverend
Donna Compton of Unity Coalition, and Nathaniel Batchelder of the
Peace House. In addition to Rep. Monson and Mr. Milton, speakers
included State Senator Bernest Cain, who said ''We need to change
all forms of discrimination in Oklahoma, and I will continue to work
with you."
Other speakers included Representative Laura Boyd, Rev.
Robin Myers of Mayflower Congregationalist Church, Herland
Board member Peggy Johnson, and Susan Dunlop of Jobs with
Justice. Also speaking were Karen Ray of NOW, Rex Friend of the
National Lawyers Guild, Pat Snead of P-FLAG, Rev. Carol Fincher
4
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
Photo by Pa t Co log nesi
The rally, held in Oklahoma City on the South Steps of the
Capitol, was sponsored in part by the OGLPC, Simply Equal,
Herland Sister Resources, the Oklahoma Women's Network, PFLAG, OU Young Democrats, the NAACP, the ACLU, the Peace
House, and the Social Justice Committee of the First Unitarian
Church. Other co-sponsors were Jobs with Justice, Gayly Oklahoman, STAT/Act Up, Oklahoma Toxics Campaign, the National
Organization for Women, the Gay Christian Ecumenical Council,
Christ the King Metro Community Church, Other Options, NASW,
the Coalition of Latin American Human & Civil Rights Advocates,
and The Parachute.
D
MEMORIES OF THE MARCH
The caravan to and from Washington was 50+ hours of fun and
physical torment. We had two vans, which were connected by CB
radios. We sang, told riddles and jokes, swapped Deep Thoughts and
Deep Queries, and had a great time not only on the vans but between
them.
After we were serenaded with ''Oklahoma'' by the San Francisco men's chorus, we sang it ourselves, at the top of our lungs,
thirty or forty times during the march. Sometimes the initial
· '000000000000'' would last nearly half a block before we fell
off into " ...klahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the
plains" - spirits were very high.
We also had a great chant that delighted the crowd; ask any of
us what it was, we'd be glad to share it with you; but we're not putting
it in print ...
On the way back to Oklahoma we passed a Cracker Barrel
Restaurant - the restaurant chain which has a policy of refusing to
hire gays and lesbians. We decided that a peaceful protest would be
a pleasant activity, and held a Pee-in - we all used the rest rooms, but
no one spent a penny for gas, food or souvenirs. The front porch of
the restaurant was lined with rocking chairs for sale, so after the Peein we also held a Rock-in, (see photo), rocking happily while we
greeted a tour bus ... We were actually so nice and peaceful that they
never knew they had been the target of a demonstration; but still we
enjoyed ourselves.
SNAPSHOT MEMORIES FROM
THE
OK
CONTINGENT:
asked his mother, ''Why are they singing?'' This woman, who
appeared to be straight, smiled at her son and answered, "They're
singing for their freedom. ''
Helen: My most memorable moments include seeing the hundreds
of thousands of Gay - Lesbian - Bi people assembling in the Mall,
seeing Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas walking through the Mall to
the rally stage (I took Tina's picture between them), hearing the San
Francisco men sing ''Oklahoma'' to the Oklahoma contingent, and
seeing the numerous gay families with children everywhere. I can
hardly wait to tell my own children and grandchildren all about it.
Laura: Two memories: 1) In the subway a cheer began and the
whole station was packed with people who were gay, cheering,
echoing, - we~ the subway. 2) As the rainbow flag was sent
back with everyone touching and passing, a lone man in a wheelchair
rolled himself in its path, crying; he struggled and lifted his frail
body up just enough to reach up and let it brush his finger tips, then
dropped back in the chair looking totally content.
Kevan: The 26-hour ride there; talking back and forth between vans
on the CB; DuPont Circle, the stores, the sights, the thousands of
queers; the leather people all decked out standing on the steps of the
Mellon Auditorium; the Dyke March; getting my t-shirt signed by
women from everywhere; the wild time at The Phase Saturday night;
the March - like a Gay Woodstock- turning the corner at the end and
seeing a sea of people with the Capitol in the background; the endless
ride back, and most of all the eleven other Okie ( & Texas) dykes who
went. I missed them the day after we got back.
Margaret: It was a wonderful five-day long weekend, filled with
fun, hilarity and joy; with old friends, new friends, and family. I
could pick almost any moment of the entire weekend and laugh out
loud with pleasure. One moment that stirred my soul as much as any
I can ever remember, was standing arm and arm with Dale as he and
I and Holly Near and a million or so other folks sang "We Are
Gentle, Angry People''.
Marquetta; "Oh when the Dykes go marching in, I want to be in that
number" - Hooray! I was in that number of powerful wimmin. The
last count I heard was 20,000 in the Dyke March. We had fun as we
walked from DuPont Circle to the Capitol. It feels empowering to be
a part of female energy.
Dale: The sense ofcommunity, "family" if you will, permeated the
city and each of our hearts. Unity, with no divisions between women
and men, or any other groups, was our overriding theme . Standing
there at the march in this huge group of family and experiencing
these emotions moved me deeply and convinced me that we will
prevail. We are all changed in immeasurable ways and in our hearts,
we were all there!
Michelle: Of the tens of thousands of women, cheers in the subway
and variety of things to do in Washigton, viewing the AIDS quilt will
remain in my mind as the most incredible and touching moment of
my trip. It was awesome to see the time, love, and patience poured
into remembering our beloved brothers and sisters.
Terry: We were on the Metro, about 90% ofus gay and lesbian, and
we spontaneously began to sing' 'We Are Gentle Angry People"; the
subway car was filled with it. A small boy near me looked up and
Tina: I was part of the largest civil rights march in the history of the
U.S. This incredible experience renewed my hope that within my
lifetime, we may actually win the rights and opportunities we
deserve (at least legally, ifnot socially). One of the more memorable
parts of this grand experience was our taking over of the city,
particularly the Metro (subway system). For once, we were blatantly
visible, we were the majority, we were even the norm. Several times
on the Metro, we occupied entire trains, except for a few wide-eyed
straight people who clung to one another in awe. How empowering
and unifying it all was!
Cindy; My favorite chants were: the S-M Leather Fetish contingent,
"Where's Bill? He's all tied up!" and at the end of the San Francisco
contingent·the men were chanting, " We're tired. we're bitchy. We
want our rights now!" Then of course there's Melissa [Etheridge]
with her hands on my body signing my back. She looks even better
in the daylight than she looks in the dark.
Pat: After the wonderful - like nothing ever before - dyke march, we
were taking the Metro back to the hotel. When we changed trains,
the Metro Center was crowded with lesbians and gays. Walking
down the side of the track, I waved my cap (lavender of course) over
my head and yelled. In an instant the whole metro was filled with
[J
cheers from the crowd cheering ourselves.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
5
THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON FOR LESBIAN I
The Oklahoma contingent
The Mall was filled with Marchers and the crowd
spilled over into surrounding streets.
PLATFORM OF THE
1993
MARCH ON WASHI
RIGHTS AND LIBERATION
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender movement recog
struggles against racism and sexism, class bias, economic injustice
we all are oppressed. The diversity of our movement requires and co
the quality of life for all people. We will be vigilant in our determin
and exploitation, so that all of us can develop to our full human potenf
identity, gender and gender expression, ability, age or class.
The Dyke March from Dupont Circle to the Mall included
20, 000 marchers and many thousand more supporters .
6
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
THE MARCH DEMANDS
1. We demand passage of a Lesbian, Gay, :!3isexual, and Transge
governments including the military; repeal of all sodomy laws a
consenting adults.
2. We demand massive increase in funding for AIDS education
alternative therapies; and an end to sexism in medical research an
3. We demand legislation to prevent discrimination against
family diversity, custody, adoption and foster care and that the def
4. We demand full and equal inclusion of Lesbians, Gays, Bi
inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans gender studies in m
5. We demand the right to reproductive freedom and choice, t
6. We demand an end to racial and ethnic discrimination in al
7. We demand an end to discrimination and violent oppression
religion, identity, sex and gender expression, disability, age, class,
GAY AND
81
EQUAL RIGHTS AND LIBERATION
aits to step off in the March.
noN FOR LESBIAN, GAY, AND
81
EauAL
Cindy Bookout carrying the Oklahoma flag led the Oklahoma
marchers on to the Mall.
~s that our quest for social justice fundamentally links us to the
1 religious intolerance. We must realize if one of us is oppressed
.s us to stand in opposition to all forms of oppression that diminish
il to rid our movement and our society of all forms of oppression
.vithoutregard to race, religion, sexual orientation, identification,
:r civil rights bill and an end to discrimination by state and federal
other laws that criminalize private sexual expression between
;earch, and patient care; universal access to health care including
alth care.
ians, Gays , Bisexuals and Transgendered people in the areas of
ion of family includes the full diversity of all family structures .
.uals and Transgendered people in the educational system, and
:ultural curricula.
)ntrol our own bodies, and an end to sexist discrimination.
rms.
ed on actual or perceived sexual orientation, identification, race,
OS/HIV infection.
A popular banner.
Her/and Voice May, 1993
7
19 9
3
1
As Suzanne Pharr says, "The religious right is unified by its racism, sexism, and homophobia, and we on
the left are divided by ours." Doc Herland thinks that Simply Equal is an organization that might be able
to turn this around and unify the progressive movement in Oklahoma. Go to meetings, check it out, do your
part •••
2
3
MISS BROWN
TO YOU
ALBUM PARTY
at.. f"Hps,
2 - 6 p.m.
g
11HPLY EQUAL
OKC Chapter
Meetine
7 pm
al Tesllne
The Limits,
Coa1s &
Elections
i~eal Defense 11
f"und. 6:30 pm
New Members
Welcome!!!
•
HISS BROWN
TO YOU
at.. VZDs, 8:45
16
17
lLYSE ANCELO
Percussion
Recila1 &
f"arewellPart..y
fbr 11ary
Hote1 Bohe11ia
It
CoDA 7 pm
12
13
14
Hary
Reynolds
at.. La
Baauelte
in Norman.
g pm
Simply Equal
of OKC
7 pm
al Herland
Everyone is
Welcome
18
19
20
21
HERLAN.O
RETREAT
at
Roman Nose
25
It
Jam Session
at.. Sl. Pauls
Hosted by
11BTY
31
28
27
Simply EQual
of OKC
7 Piii
at Herland
Everyone is
Welcome
PEGGY
JOHNSON
at
La Ba£Suelte
in Norman
8:30 - li:30
15
It
7 PDl
24
8
CoDA, 7 pm
al Herland Everyone is
Welco111e
Her1and
Relreal
30
6
Simply Equal
of OKC
Herl and
Board
1'1eelin£1
3:30 p.m.
23
5.
CAY 11AY DAY
and
the Ga1a
Hay Day Ball
•
ouii'C'aii
Sally Ride
Astronaut..
Born fQSf
CoDA, 7 Piii
f878 - fQ27
Pioneer of
Modern Dance
other Birthdays in May:
John Brown, Abolitionist, Martyr, May 9, 1800 - 1859
Margaret Fuller, Feminist, Philosopher, May 23, 1810 - 1950
Mary Harris (Mother) Jones, May 1, 1830 - 1930
Harvey Milk, May 21, 1930 - 1978
Malcolm X, May 19, 1925 - 1965
HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES INC.
2312 N.\\I. 39th Street
Oklahoma Cit)', Oklahoma 73112
405/ 521-9696
Hours: Sat.urda~s iO - 6: Sunda~s f - 6
2
~ETREAT
al
ROMAN NOSE
Tonl£1hl In
Concert al
the Retreat.:
THE
NEON GIRLS
29
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, Okla.
2312 N.W. 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112
ADDRESS CORRECTION REQUESTED
RETURN POSTAGE GUARANTEED
Permit No. 861
MOW
NOTEBOOK
by Vivien Ng
Day One, 4/23/93
I am sitting at Gate 10, Delta Terminal. D'f'W Airport. I look
around me and find a sea of fellow mard1ers. Mostly Texans. One
doesn't have to be Pam Nilsen (1ny favorite lesbian P .I.) to figure that
out--the oversized button with a map of Texas on it is a sure
giveaway. I look again. More men than women. Where are the lesbians?
Are they still at work? Does this confirm yet another statistic, that
gay men earn more money than lesbians? Look, many of the men are
carrying suitbags with them, while I am taking only a tiny backpack,
the one that you carry books to school with. Guess who is not going
to any of the $500 per plate dinners . Most of the men sport the closecropped, cleaner-than-clean look. I'm not close enough to sniff their
after shave, butl bet they use Old Spice! Ah ha! Finally, two women
are approaching the gate area. Are they or aren't they? What a
wonderful way to kill time!
I am now enroute to DC. Have just had a nice chat with the gay
activist sitting next to me. Yes, I have broken my never-talk-tostrangers-on-the-airplane rule. In fact, we got along so well that he
gave me his business card, just in case I made it to Dallas in the
future. Don't worry, I only accept cards from gay men (and lesbians,
of course).
3 P.M. I am now walking toward Lambda Rising Bookstore.
My goodness, the line forming outside the store is almost a block
long! And the sidewalks are jammed with people. A mountain of
Washington Blade awaits the eager reader. I pick up a copy and find
to my delight that this issue runs more than 200 pages.
5 P.M. I amheading to my friend's house in Silver Spring. Back
in '87, another friend and I reserved a room in a downtown hotel only
to find upon arrival that the hotel had overbooked and could not give
us a room. Luckily, the front desk clerk remembered me from our
conservation in July and offered to find a room for us in another
hotel. After two hours of anxious nailbiting, we finally found
ourselves in a luxurious suite at the Omni Georgetown Hotel.
Although our experience had a happy ending, I am not in the mood
this time to risk being homeless. Thus, I am staying with a local
friend. She promises me dinner at an Indian restaurant. Yum, yum.
Day Two, 4/24/93.
10 A.M. I am munching a bagel at the Friends Meeting House
on Florida Avenue. I am here to meet other Asian lesbians. The first
time we ever got together as a group was in 1987. There were only
20 of us then, I wonder how many will show up today?
10:30 A.M .. We are operating on lesbian time--late!
11 :00 A.M. There are over 60 ofus in this room! I glance across
at Kitty Tsui, bodybuilder and poet. I catch her looking at me, or am
I just imagining it?
1:30 P.M. After what seems like an eternity of consensus
decision-making, we are close to agreeing on a date for our second
retreat. Our original plan was to have it in 1994, in New York, but
we soon realized that what with Stonewall 25 and Gay Games '94, we
simply could not handle another event. Labor Day weekend, 1995?
Somewhere on the east coast?
2:30 P .M. I am standing right outside the entrance to the Dupont
Circle metro stop, watching scores of lesbians and gay men riding up
the escalator to the street. Every now and then I hear laughter and
cheers ripple up from deep underground. Everybody looks so happy!
I look at my friend, whom I have not seen for three years, and we
smile at each other. Happy Days.
8
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
4:00 P.M. Look who's there! Pat Reaves & Co. They have just
been to the Mall to look at the AIDS quilt.
6:00 P.M. I am now heading back "home" to Silver Spring,
being too tired to stay for the Dyke March. (Turned out to be a major
mistake on my part, because everybody said it was a great experience.) Quiet dinner at home awaits me.
Day Three, 4/25/93:
10:30 A.M. I am walking down 14th St. toward Constitution.
My goodness, the base of Washington Monument is already packed
with people! How am I going to find anybody?
I almost run into Jewelle Gomez. •'Where are you heading,
honey?" she asks. "I am looking for Oklahoma, #31 I believe." She
points me to the right direction, but not before exchanging bear hugs.
I bump into Sherri and Carole, two friends from Nashville. All
we are able to do is grin at each other.
11 :00 A .M. I am with the Oklahoma contingent. Herland folks
are here, so too Simply Equal, OU'sGLBA, andOSU's. I know lam
home. I am glad I decided to join my fellow Oklahomans and not the
massive New York contingent or the Asian lesbians.
8 P.M. I am heading home, to Norman. The day has been a blur
for me. One thing I know for sure: The 1993 March On Washington
is a massive festival, not a protest. In fact, we were so busy laughing
and smiling that we forgot to shout the obligatory chants. My
D
favorite: ''10% is not enough! Recruit, recruit, recruit!''
Returning Marchers stop for a brief Rock-In action at a
Cracker Barrel Resturant somewhere in Indiana.
THE
1993
GAY, LESBIAN, AND
81 CIVIL RIGHTS BILL
The 1993 Gay, Lesbian, Bi Civil Rights Bill, HR 431 introduced by Henry Waxman, Don Edwards, Pat Schroeder, Gerry
Studds, Barney Frank and Jerold Nadler now has 51 current cosponsors . No Oklahoma congressman has signed on as a co-sponsor.
A BILL
To Prohibit discrimination on account of sexual orientation.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the
United States of America in Congress assembled,
SECTION 1 SHORT TITLE
This Act may be cited as the "Civil Rights Act of 1993."
SECTION 2, PROHIBITION
It shall be unlawful to discriminate against any person-(1) in employment, education, credit, or housing;
(2) in the sale or use of goods or services;
(3) with respect to any publice facility; or
(4) in any federally assisted program or activity; on acCJ
count of that person's sexual orientation, actual or percieved.
GLAAD
NOTES:
For the fashion trendy, Mademoiselle magazine has peeked into
the closet ... looking not for tired old clothes but for young women
who are leaving it!
"Women in Love," an article in the March issue, is all about
"baby dykes," "Lesbian Yuppies," "Womyn, Womon & Wimmin!"
A five page feature takes the reader into the world of young lesbians
coming out -- some joining the world of politics, some sitting home
in front of the tube, and others doing the women's club scene. This
story successfully challenges many of the myths that both gay and
straight people have about lesbianism.
MADEMOISELLE is an important source of information for
young people, so let's give three cheers to: Julie Lewit-Nirenberg,
Publisher, Mademoiselle, 350 Madison Avenue, New York, NY
10017.
CJ
Published by: Herland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 N.W. 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Newsletter Committee: Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox, Vivien Ng,
Pat Reaves
Circulation: 1000
Advertising Rates: Business card $15; 1/4 page $35; 1/2 page
$60; full page $100
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community discourse.
Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not necessarily those
of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and letters to the
editor are we lcomed and must be signed by the writer with full name
and address. Upon request, letters or articles may be printed under
a pseudonym or anonymously.
Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon request.
The Voice is printed on recyc led paper.
Mary Reynolds at Rally Oklahoma
Mary Reynolds, one of Oklahoma's finest musicians and certainly
one of our favorites, is moving to Austin, Texas to further her
education and musical career. She'll be greatly missed but we send
her off with all our love and best thoughts. We know Mary is never
far from home in her heart and we expect to see her often in OKC.
MARY, WE'LL REMEMBER ---your talent, your music, those moments when the song, the
singer, and our souls touched and ignited.
We'll remember your smile, hugs, encouragement, your willingness to help and to share yourself.
We' 11 remember blueberry pancakes at Retreats, and campfires
that were warmer and brighter for your presence. We'll remember
your Herland Board work, the programs you planned and those you
continued at Hotel Bohemia.
We'll remember that you were a bridge we crossed into a greater
community, a broader contact with women's music, and a deeper
feeling for other beats, other rhythms, other eras of sortg.
We'll remember, because the pleasures, the hours, the pride you
gave us have formed bonds of friendship too strong to be severed by
the rough edges of parting.
We owe you, Mary; but we know that some debts can never be
paid. We know, too, that you were not lending but giving.
Take with you, then, our gratitude for your gifts, our love for
you, and our best wishes for your future.
You, dear Mary, were Herland's first song:
'' ... the melody lingers on.''
--JR
Her/and Voice May, 1993
9
HONORING MOTHERS
May, the month when we traditionally observe Mother's Day to
honor our mothers seems a particularly appropriate time to reflect on
the situation facing lesbian mothers. Without adequate legal protection for the custody rights of lesbian and gay, they face the constant
threat oflosing their children to an ex-spouse or even in some cases
to the state.
Approximately one year ago, papers were filed with the District
Court of Cleveland County in Oklahoma seeking the removal of two
young children from the custody of their mother. The Motion to
Modify the original divorce decree was motivated by the fact that the
mother was a lesbian, and shared her home with her lesbian lover.
However, the father was aware of the mother's sexual orientation
long before his request to modify custody and the mother had full
custody of her children since the 1988 divorce.
On April 22-23, 1992, a hearing was held in the District Court
of Cleveland County to determine the placement of the children.
Despite evidence showing that the children were well cared for,
happy and provided with a loving home, custody was immediately
taken from the mother and placed with the father. In his ruling, the
Judge determined that the mother was unfit because of her sexual
orientation and the immoral environment created for her children by
living with her partner. No evidence of harm or neglect of the
children was shown. Instead the father's case focused on the
mother's lesbian sexual orientation, the possibility of future harm to
the children because of her sexual orientation, and the father's
religious fervor.
This ruling was appealed to the State Supreme Court of
Oklahoma and the Supreme Court Justices passed it down to the
lower appellate court without comment. The Lambda Legal Defense
and Education Fund is providing assistance with this case.
On March 11, 1993, in Oklahoma County, custody of two
teenage children was removed from their mother because she is a
lesbian. Using the mother's lesbianism as justification, the father
sought to gain full custody rather than the joint custody which had
been followed since the mother and father divorced in 1988. In spite
of the children's desire to continue living with their mother, the
judge in the case agreed with the father that the mother's ' 'homosexual relationship'' is immoral and harmful to the children and
placed sole custody with their father. An appeal is pending.
Unfortunately, neither of these situations is unique. Lesbians
and gay men in Oklahoma face constant fear that they will lose their
children in similar custody battles. Each of these cases offers an
opportunity to change this situation. A positive decision by the
appellate court in either of these cases could set an important
precedent in the State of Oklahoma for future child custody cases
involving lesbians and gay men. The Herland Legal Defense Fund
was established in 1992 to help provide the financial support
necessary to win justice for our families. The expense of appealing
one case to the State Supreme Court is estimated at $20,000.
Through the generous contributions of friends all across the country,
over $7 ,000 has been raised. More is needed to continue fighting for
justice.
Please consider making a special Mother's Day contribution to
the Herland Legal Defense Fund to honor these and the many other
lesbian mothers and help us continue to fight for legal protection for
these families. Please make your check payable to the Her land Sister
Resources Legal Defense Fund and mail to: Herland Sister Resources, 2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112. Herland is
a 50l(c)3 organization and your contributions are tax deductible.
For more information about the Herland Legal Defense Fund please
l:l
write or call (405)521 -9696.
10
Her/and Voice
May, 1993
KNOWLEDGE IN RETREAT
Spring Retreat '93, will, as usual, be a time for learning as well
as relaxing. However, we're trying something new this time: an
"Open Workshop" arrangement that has been successful other
places . Here's how it works.
If you have knowledge--a special interestortechnique--that you
are willing to share or a subject you'd like to be discussed, come to
the Retreat prepared to lead a workshop. At the registration desk
we'll have a big Workshop Board where you'll list workshop subject/
title, your name, and length of time needed (please try to make it an
hour or less).
During Friday evening, retreaters will check the Board and
write their names by workshops they'd like to attend. (If you don't
sign up you can still attend workshops; but the numbers signed up
will help us set up the time and place schedule Friday night.)
How's that for simple rules?! Now for the exceptions ... We've
scheduled two workshops that required advance arrangements.
Giovanna Capone, who lives in San Francisco, most recently
appeared in print in the anthology, The Voices We Carry, which
contains a portion of her completed novel. She is corning to Roman
Nose to discuss and introduce ways of incorporating ethnic identity
and culture into our writing . Her workshop at the Retreat is not only
for writers: the material will include discussion on reclaiming
traditions from a lesbian point of view. " How you identify your
culture is essential to how you preserve it," Capone says.
Leslie Buck repairs books for a living and is constantly devising
cheap/easy/attractive ways to make books. Her workshop on Journal-making and Bookbinding will produce 8" X 5" books of 40-80
pages and include instruction sheets formaking books and note-pads
at home.
This is a great start to Retreat workshops. Be thinking about
what you want to teach or attend.
CREATING CHANGE
'93 HEADS SOUTH
The Creating Change Conference, sponsored by the National
Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), will be held November 1014, 1993 in Durham, N.C.
The 1993 Conference will include more than 40 skills-building
workshops, held November 12-14. In addition to the individual
workshops, there will be day-long concentrations inFight the Right,
Civil Rights/Privacy, Anti-Violence, Health, Age and Aging, Work
and Family, International/Stonewall 25, and Sex and Sexuality.
Creating Change '93 will also feature a two-day Movement
Building Institute. On November 10, activists may attend either the
People of Color Organizing Institute or the Diversity Training
Institute. On November 11, participants will attend the Race, Class,
and Gender Institute.
Partial scholarships are available for limited income activists
with disabilities and activists of color. To request a scholarship
application, write Ivy Young at NGLTF, 1734 14th. St., N.W .,
l:l
Washington, DC 20009.
- - - -- -- Honor a woman you love with a gift
to Sl.fPPOrt lesbian mothers' rights
We'll send a Mothers' Day appreelatlon
card to the woman of your choice.
Gitt subscriptions to Mom's Apple pje
newsletter for lesbian families: $1 Otyear.
LESBIAN MOTHERS' NATIONAL DEFENSE FUND
P.O. Box 21567, Seattle, WA 98111
(206) 325-2643 V/TIY
ONCE BURNED ... A RAPE
Mother and Bob were asleep. I locked myself in the bathroom
and sat in the corner on the floor, shivering and crying and picking the
splinters from under my nails . I thought of calling the police; I thought
of calling my brother.. .I thought of a lot of things and I'll try to tell you
themain reasons I didn'treport this rape (some of my reasoning may not
have been logical, but it was what I felt at the time): 1. It would make
my mother's life more difficult because Bob would lose either bis job
or a boss be liked and he' d find some way to call it promiscuity and
say "like mother, like daughter" ; 2. Mother wouldn't believe me--oh,
she wouldn' t dis.believe me, but, like when a deacon molested me at
church, she'd say I "must be mistaken"; 3. My brother was an OKC
policeman and I'd heard his stories of bow they laughed about rape cases;
4. If they laughed about his sister or if he could find Jay, I knew he'd
completely lose control and either get hurt or kill someone; 5. I was due
to fly out the next day--my daughter was waiting for me and I wanted to
get away, not stay for tests and court hearings and other painful stuff.. .!
just wanted to GET-OUT-OF-THERE.
I took a bath and packed. Just before we left for the airport the next
morning, two dozen long-stemmed red roses arrived for me with a note
that said, "Please forgive me. I'm sorry." It wasn't signed.
Thanks to my doctor, I didn't nosedive again. He was insistent that
nothing could destroy my inner strength unless I allowed it. I chose to
believe him. I did wonder, however, how I would feel about making love.
The next time I had sex, though, everything seemed fine. Afterwards we
were lying there, in what I think is called "after-glow," just chatting
quietly. My belly was sort of stinging so I turned on the light. As we
lay there, watching, my skin mottled, turned red, and large blisters
rose until my entire stomach was covered. I bad to have emergency
treatment for second-degree burns.
I no longer trust my mind when it tells me I'm O.K.
[J
STORY
by JR
I remember ... a time in my life when I finally "got it all
together." I remember ... a feeling of floating in ecstasy, of waking
up excited, of going to sleep still bubbling. It was wonderful, and
kind of frightening.
Over a five-year period my four male role-models--my greatgrandfather, grandfather, father, and husband--had all died. I went into
[hopefully, my worst] nosedive but, with my doctor's help, not only
pulled out but began to soar. It was as if I no longer concentrated my
energies on ''measuring up'' but began to be Me. Without all those
person-patterns I'd been trying to fill, I started finding out who I was: I
discovered that I was a pretty nice individual.
That's the history. The scene was Oklahoma City. I'd flown
home from overseas to visit my mother and to meet her new husband.
I wasn't pleased with what I'd found. After a lifetime of seeing
my mother as the chief authority figure (since Daddy was a sweet
dreamer and absent-minded-professor), I felt uncomfortable with
her new persona. My new step-father was pathologically jealous,
insensitive, verbally abusive, etc., and my mother took it. She
assured me that things would be better after they'd been married a
little longer and Bob felt more secure.
On my last night, Mother and Bob took me out for a farewell
dinner. They invited Bob's new boss, a mover-groover-bright-boy
destined for Yuppiehood. ''His wife and little girl are away visiting
her folks, and I know Jay must be lonely," Mother said.
No problem. He was too cocky for me to enjoy his company, but
he served his purpose--keeping Bob busy talking shop so Mother and
I could visit. Bob had too much to drink, though, and Jay had to drive
us home. On the way Bob started in on Mother about something and
he was still raving after Jay helped him into the house. Mother was
fussing over him and looked distressed when I started to defend her;
so when Jay suggested we "drive around" until Mother got Bob to
bed, I agreed.
After about five minutes' drive and small talk about how the
City had changed, Jay parked at an apartment complex and came
around to open my door. "Where are we?" I asked.
''This is where I live. I thought we could just have a cup of
coffee and I'll telephone your mother to see if Bob's asleep and she's
all right.'' I said I'd rather go back because I had to pack, but he was
politely firm and seemed to be motivated by concern for my
mother ... so we went up to his apartment.
I didn't get the coffee; he didn't make the 'phone call. Instead,
he grabbed me. I pushed him away. I felt no danger, only anger and
impatience. I started for the door and he grabbed me again. In my
whole post-puberty experience with men, I had never been in a
situation I couldn't control; but panic set in when he ripped my
blouse off as I ran for the door.
The feeling I remember strongest is one of powerlessness. I had
never seriously fought before, and to use all my strength and all my
lung power and find both totally useless was terrifying. He dragged
me toward the bedroom; I struggled; he pkked me up and I grabbed
the door jamb then the door; I clawed; I kicked. By the time he pinned
me on the bed I was no longer thinking coherently. I remember
sobbing over and over, "Please don't--l'm happy!"
Perhaps some of that soaked in because he paused, looked down
at me, and said, with what sounded like genuine concern, "Would
you rather I'd come in your mouth?"
"No, no, no, no ... " I managed to kick him again before be
returned to the body-press.
I think that the only other thing I said was, afterwards, "What
will your wife say?''
"Oh, she knows," he said. "She knows I can't help it."
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AUGUST 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 & 15, 1993
Her/and Voice May, 1993
11
JltJl. l. l~'l1 IN Jlct1llll)
Among the musical delights in May, don't
overlook Elyse Angelo's Percussion Recital
and Farewell Party for Mary at the Hotel
Bohemia on May 7; call 528-0020forreservations.
After two Sunday sessions as agroup,Women
with Women with Children is ready to move
on to the most important phases of any group
that has children -- having fun and EATING.
They invite all women and their chidren to a
potluck Italian Feast on Sunday May the 18th
at3320NW21st,OKCfrom 1 to5 pm. Please
RSVP to 942-4331.
Another non-traditional musical event is the
Jam Session at St. Paul's Episcopal Church at
7th and Robinson, OKC, on May 23rd; from
5 -8 pm. Hosted by Miss Brown To You, there
will be various jazz and blues artists, performing for a benefit for St. George's Guild
Food Closet. This will be a perfect event to
wind down from the wonderful Retreat at
Roman Nose.
Hurricane Alice, a writer's quarterly, is developing a Fall issue on Native American
women writers. Submissions of poetry, short
stories, essays, other writing, and artwork are
welcomed. Carolyn Bordeaux, an enrolled
memberofthe Rosebud Sioux (Sicangu Lakota
in their language), will be editing this special
Indian women' s edition. She can be reached
by calling (612)331-8812 or writing 113
Warwick St. S.W., Minneapolis, MN 55414
or the Hurricane Alice office at 207 Lind Hall,
207 Church Street SE, Minneapolis, MN
55455.
Gay &Lesbian professional, business and social
organizations have establisled GLOBAL, Gay
and Lesbian Organizations Bridging Across the
Land to facilitate communication among its
member organizations and encourage the sharing of ideas and opportunities for professional
development. For information contact Maureen
O'Leary at (510) 652-1946.
Mark your calendar now for a lawn party at
Herland featuring Erika Wheeler in performance on June 6. We'll have hot dogs available starting at 6: 30 and Erika will perform at
7 P.M. It'll be a great way to spend a summer
evening!
Lesbian only counseling group, Wednesday
evenings. Contact Jo L. Soske M .Ed. ,
MHR,NCADC,NCC,LPC at 364-5708.
The Syvenna Foundation writers' retreat for
women invites applications for its residency
program. Located near Linden, Texas, the
Syvenna Foundation operates four residency
terms per year. The program is designed for
women of all ages who are at the beginning or
intermediate stage of their writing careers.
All types of writing - academic, creative, or
technical - are considered. Each successful
applicant is provided with a private cottage
and a stipend of $300 per month. For further
information, write: The Syvenna Foundation,
Route 1, Box 193, Linden, Texas 75563; or
call: 903/835-8252.
Herland Sister Resources presents
1993 SPRING RETREAT
FOR WOMEN
May 21- 23
Roman Nose State Park
(NEAR WATONGA, OKLAHOMA)
Single Person's
Annual Income
under $ 6,500
$ 6,500-$13,250
$13.250-$19,500
$19.500-$30,000
over $30,000
Retreat Preregistration fee
$15
$25
$35
$45
$60
Household Annual Income
(2 or more persons)
under $13,300
$13,300-$18,000
$18,000-$26,000
$26,000-$30,000
over $50,000
Please choose the registration fee most appropriate f~r
you based on these suggested income guidelines.
.
Complete and return the pre-registration form to
Herland, 2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112 .
NAME:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ __ PHONE: _ _ _ _ _ _ __
ADDRESS: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
CITY:
Registration fee enclosed: D $15
STATE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ZIP _ _ _ _ _ __
D $25
D I'm enclosing an additional $
D $35
D $45
D $60
to provide retreat scholarships.
D I need a scholarship to attend.
D I would like to ride with someone.
Return to:
HERLAND
2312 N.W. 39th
D I can help provide rides to the retreat.
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
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