Networking45North_v12.no3.1998.07-10.pdf
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Property of the Center
THE NEWSLETTER OF FRIENDS NoRTH, INc., an association of lesbians, gays, bi-sexuals, transgendered and their firends.
R K I N G
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
I was just sitting here
addressing postcards to all
of my close personal
friends, inviting them to
walk with me. Most people
I know would never say no
to a walk with me. I'm a
lot of fun, a sparkling conversationalist and not so concerned about my
aerobic rate that I can't stop and enjoy the flowers. I hope my friends
will decide that walking a few miles with me Sunday afternoon September 27th will sound as great as I expect it to be. By now most of you
know that September 27th marks the first AIDS Walk ever held in Traverse
City. Walker sponsor forms are available at various local businesses,
including Ray's Coffeehouse and Trinkets Bead Shop, as well as by phoning 616-933-0279. The walk will be just about three miles long through
scenic downtown Traverse City, and I expect the fall colors and the
crispness of the air to be more than invigorating. Even if it rains I plan
on hiking through my hometown ... rain or shine, as the pledge envelope says! Like most people in our community, I drive just about
everywhere, and the WALK is a great excuse to stroll around town and
try to do some good for my community and my friends.
m
Plans made for July, 1999
Over 100 men and women gathered in late July at Sleeping Bear
Dunes for the 7th annual Friends North Bike Tour. The weekend was
perfect - sunny skies, Lake Michigan warm and clear, good friends,
And, of course, there were the two days of biking!
Organizers had some obstacles this year, as the Park Service
instigated user fees for campgrounds and vehicles. The additional
costs took a bite out of the planned fundraising, and will mean an
increase in cost for 1999's event. Despite the hefty increase in fees,
none of the planners felt that the tour should be moved from the
Sleeping Bear National Park.
The campground handled the 100 people nicely, with plenty of
space for volleyball and nightly bonfires. Glen Haven's beautiful cove
of beaches offered the best swimming and clearest water of the year.
Riders left Sleeping Bear Group Campground on Saturday morning for the day of riding. There were options of 30, 60 and 90 mile
NElWORKING 45° NORTH
Raising awareness about the continuing saga/drama that is AIDS
is so important in every community and ours is no exception. People
are still living with it here and worldwide there are 8,500 new infections everyday. Inviting my friends to walk with me is one way of
reminding them that even though they aren't "personally affected" by
the disease, someone in their community is ... maybe even someone
they know, maybe even a friend, or a friend of a friend. My generation
grew up in a time where AIDS didn't exist ... for a while. When it came
sweeping across the i:,ation only the truly lucky were spared, including
me. Risky behaviors included receiving a blood transfusion, or going
to the dentist. We know so mush more now, then why are two teenagers per hour getting infected in the U.S. alone?
So get out and Walk the Walk! Get your friends out there too.
Thanks to a lot of effort from Wellness Networks and the Michigan
AIDS Fund, and volunteers (Thanks to every single one!) AIDS Walk
98 will be a great success, but we need you and some of your close
personal friends. Come on down to the Wellness office and pick up
some postcards, or pick up the phone and call someone you know
who might enjoy a lovely little hike through the streets of Traverse.
Registration is at 1:00 pm and Step Off is 2:00 pm at the Traverse
City Senior Center. Please don't hesitate to call if you have any
questions at all. The phone numbers are 888-791-WALK or 933-0279.
So, do you want to go for a walk?
Rosie Vreeland-Flickinger
tours for the day. When the riders finished, there was swimming and
shopping in Glen Arbor.
Instead of the catered dinner in downtown Glen Arbor in years
past, the tour gathered in Maple City at the Schoolhouse Cafe. Their
staff was welcoming and the food was great. There was a cash bar
and even some dancing after dinner. Everyone agreed that this was
a wonderful place to have the Saturday Night Party.
Sunday's ride was much shorter, with a quick trip around Glen
Lake and then the option of riding the Scenic Drive in the park.
Afterwards, about 50 people took the afternoon to swim and play
volleyball at Otter Creek.
There have been many requests from local cyclists who would
like to participate in the event but who do not want to camp out.
Tour organizers say that they are evaluating some new ideas for
1999, including a Saturday-only tour followed by dinner. They have
even talked about arranging a shorter tour for beginning riders.
They are attempting to schedule the event on one of two weekendseither July 16-18 or July 23-25.
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
'
Richard Tuxbury
Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562
(616) 946-1804 (This is a general information line answered by
Third Level.)
FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals,
transgendered and their friends from northwestern lower Michigan.
Located in Traverse City, we provide social activities, a newsletter,
phone line, workshops, and a scholarship fund for financial
assistance.
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings
are held at Grace Episcopal Church at the Comer of Washington &
Boardman the first Tuesday of every month (except August) at 6:30
p.m. Everyone is welcome to attend.
Brenda Bartz, VP - 616-946-2708/bbartzstar@aoLcom
Sheryl Layton - 616-938-9294/Galbuffalo@aol.eom
Kirk Mallow, Pres. - 616-933-5250/Mallowki@norris.tcaps.kl
2mi.us
Daniel Miller- 616-263-3760/Milkrat@aol.eom
Gretchen Sauvage - 616-943-9819
Tim Schmidt - 616-941-8987 /TCTimber@aol.com
Sue Schwartz, Treas. - 616-946-3032/tcfriend@aol.eom
Charles Westerfield - 616-922-0746/charles@batic.eom
NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45 6 North.
Editor: Richard Tuxbury: 616-271-3042
<tuxOO l@aol.com>
Publishing & Layout: Richard Curtis: 616-929-9605
<rlc@traverse.com>
Advertising: Sheryl Layton - 616-938-9294
Galbuffalo@aol.com
Mailing List:: John Evans: 616-922-0746
<jdevans@gtii.com>
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc.
Viewpoints expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board
or general membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge.
Please submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on
machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in
Business Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of
$100.00 for 5 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please
call Sheryl Layton - 616-938-9294/Galbuffalo@aol.eom
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays,
features, reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor"
to above address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: #4 October 15
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is
coming. Call John Evans, 922-0746, or e-mail changes to
jdevans@gtii.com.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple.
Please send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562,
Traverse City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION Networking is published 5 times per year. Copies
are sent bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700
households. Additional copies are available at select local
establishments. Our mailing list is not sold or traded with other
organizations.
from the editor
It would seem remiss not to start
off with an apology to you - our mem-
bers and our readers (yes, there appears
to be a difference). This issue was
stalled for a few months as we regrouped and reevaluated its purpose in
the light of some-financial difficulties.
I must admit, that the perfect summer
also seemed to have played its role.
We are hoping that with the addition of Sheryl Layton as advertising coordinator, that funds will be available to continue publishing
this newsletter on a regular basis. The newsletter budget receives half
of its money from advertisers and the rest comes from membership
dues and summer Bike Tour proceeds. And, as you may have noticed,
those whose dues have not been renewed are now receiving reminders
in the mail. We hope that you will continue to contribute and to maintain the community of Friends North to serve northwest lower Michigan.
A complaint we hear all too often is that Friends North needs to
be more 1) social, 2) political, 3) service oriented. But, the events
and direction of Friends North, although monitored by the Board, is
directly up to the members and volunteers. If you are interested in
any particular activity, please call a board member and discuss how
it might occur. But, remember that you will be asked to coordinate
your idea into making it a reality. Our Board welcomes your ideas and
especially, your involvement.
As always, there is a lot of conversation about what the purpose
of the newsletter should be. It has evolved to what it is today because of Richard Curtis, the publisher, and me, its editor. Since some
might ask how we select our articles, it might be helpful to state
them for the record.
We attempt to obtain local contributions written by those who
want to write local stories, essays, letters or features. Then, we fill in
with other things to attempt to bring a snapshot of what is going on
in the gay community in the State, around the country and in the
world today. I strive for those stories and opinions that might be
harder to find in today's newspapers and magazines. But, there has
been a lot of mainstream coverage of gay and lesbian issues in the
last few years especially on the internet.
If you have any comments or would like to contribute to the
newsletter, please call me. I welcome your input.
?J.
w~J'L<A/
Home of
PIZZAZZ
Pizzas & Pesto
Charles E. Egeler, President
David A Egeter, Vice President
14 ?River Street
PO Box 237
Elk Rapids, Ml 49629
616-264-B901
printed on recycled paper
NETWORKING 45° NORTH
- 2 -
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
Kirk Mallow
From the president
As I write this article, I'm sitting on the
dunes reflecting on this spring. And as some
of you already know, it has been a bitter,
sweet spring for me.
April 29th my 21-year-old brother Dale,
committed suicide. This has been impacting
my life in ways I never dreamed of. I have
learned that I am not the pillar of strength I once thought, and if it
weren't for the out pouring of support from friends from the gay community, all the cards, flowers, food, trees, letters, hugs and most of all
love you all have shown towards my family ... it makes me proud to be
a part of the gay community. And when my father ended up in the ICU
for three weeks near death the out pouring of support came again,
without hesitation. This has been my spring. The sweet side is it has
been a beautiful spring and dad is home and doing well.
I would like to thank the board for picking up the slack for me,
and allowing me to focus on my family the past few months. And to
you, the members of Friends North, some of you are waiting to hear
back from me and I hope to get back into the swing of things soon.
Thank you for your patience.
The Pride Day Picnic at the Robb farm was a huge success again,
and was well attended, over 100 people came out to enjoy the day.
Thanks goes to the Pride Day Committee, and the Robbs for a great day.
And don't forget the Bike Tour. It's a ton of fun, and you don't
have to ride if you don't want to. Come join us for dinner and or
camping next year.
Take care, Kirk.
Common Voices:The Friends North Rap Group
Tom Barkley
Common Voices, the Friends North Rap Group, extends a warm
welcome to everyone in our g/l/b/t community to attend all our
monthly events. Common Voices is an excellent resource for people
just entering our community.
Our Rap Group gatherings are held the second Wednesday of
each month at 7:30 PM in the main floor church hall at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington St, Traverse City.
Parking is available in back and you can use the rear (north)
entrance. Common Voices people will be near the main church entrances until 7:30 to welcome and direct first-timers.
Rap sessions often include g/l/b/t topics and videos, but more
importantly include time for anyone who needs to talk in a safe,
comfortable environment.
In addition to rap sessions, Common Voices sponsors "Common
Nibbles" -the 4th Wednesday (7:00 PM) monthly local restaurant
gathering. A different local dining establishment is chosen each
month. Common Nibbles is an excellent complement to our rap sessions, offering quality interaction (and quality food!). You don't
need to spend a lot of money, just come to the restaurant and ask
for the Common Voices group.
Common Voices regularly tries to sponsor additional activities
such as potlucks, hikes, video nights, etc., thanks to those who
want to keep the spirit of our group strong
Common voices offers a free subscription to our monthly newsletter (which is also a reminder of our gatherings and special events).
Please phone Tom at the number listed below to receive your copy.
We need your namer(s) and mailing address. (Phone numbers are
appreciated but optional.) Our mailing list is confidential-no names/
addresses will be given out by anyone in Common Voices.
For any information about Common Voices/ Rap Group/ Common Nibbles/CV newsletter/special events, phone Tom (275-6127).
Since the last "Networking" we have eaten at Boone's and at
Panda North. Our monthly meetings have included a presentation
and video on safe sex. (thanks Tom.) Loraine Anderson visited us,
discussing her coming-out process among other things. (Thanks Phil
for arranging this.) And this month Greg Baird talked about community, how we can influence the community-at-large, and self-esteem.
His talk expanded on his article in the last "Networking."
Autumn Hike
Pot Luck
September 26th 2:00 pm
Join us on the Old Mission Pennisula
at the Pyatt .Lake Nature Preserve
(Follow Peninsula Drive past Bowers Harbor, turn
right on Bowers Harbor Rd., then right on the
park.)
We will have the dder press to
make apple dder, lots of games and
fun. We will call in barred owls at
dusk. Bon Fire on the beach after.
MINER'S NORTH
£WELEaS
222 E. Front Street
Traverse City, Ml 49684
Downtown
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
PH: 616-94(,-8528
Fax: 616-<)46-3553
Call Kirk at 933-5250
or
Tim at 941-8987
_ 3 _ VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
Announcements:
THE AUTUMN HIKE AND POTLUCK PICNIC will be held on Saturday, September 26 at 2:00 pm on the Old Mission Peninsula (Pyatt
Lake Nature Preserve).. call 933-5250 or 941-8987 or check out
the Friends North web site.
HARVEST POTLUCK: November 22 at 4:30 pm at Grace Episcopal Chuarch. Friends North will provide turkey, potatoes, gravy. Bring
a dish to pass. Come and meet the board and the board candidates.
Everyone is welcome.
Friends North is looking for candidates for the 1999 Board
positions which will be open in December. To be considered as a
candidate, please contact any board member.
Friends North Summer Events
Pride Picnic 98 Theme:
LLBuilding Community Through Understanding"
FRIENDS NORTH WEB SITE
Alan N. Williams
The Friends North Web site (http://friends-north.base.org or
http://members.tripod.com/FriendsNorth) is now open for public
viewing. Currently the site has pages for an event calendar, event
news, resources, and groups in northern Michigan. If you have feedback about the-site., please e-mail friends.north@usa.net or use the
"Feedback" page at the site.
~Outin
V +About
A Lesbian Coffeehouse
June 22 was a perfect day for the Pride event. Nearly 100 attended
the event hosted at the Robb farm. Participants enjoyed volleyball,
potluck, grilled burgers and dogs, open mic, comedy short, art project,
good music, and most importantly ... wonderful fellowship.
During the meal we had speakers who represented Wellness,
PFLAG, Hate Free TC, Common voices, Petoskey Group, Wind Fire
youth group, and others. We were entertained by two young people
from windfire who shared their music with us. Many helped create
the art project "Building Community- Bridging our Differeneces" ...
build blocks to community. Links which included Love, tolorance,
family, friends, PFLAG, Gay AA, Be Real, Come Out, Get Involved,
and many others ... kids from 7-65 painted on brightly colored boxes
and created a bridge out of them. Everyone stayed sat and talked,made
new friends and new connections.
I'd like to thank the committee that worked so hard to bring
this about: Alan williams, Ed Richardson, Tim Schmidt, Sheryl Layton,
Joan Williams, and Ron Simms. Special thanks to Kirk,Charles, and
Wendy. Thanks to all who attended and made the event what it was
' intended to be ... a pride event.
Like any event, so much time and energy goes into the planning that at times you wonder the .worth of it all. The following
connection made it all come together for me. I was introduced to a
nervous father. He stood at the edge of the function watching ... he
voluntered "That's my daughter playing the guitar and singing. She
is so talented, you should hear her on the cello. We've really struggled
with this "coming out" of hers. I really worried about letting her
come to this function. I'm so glad I stopped by to check it out
myself. There are lots of fun clean activities going on ... smiling
people ... a good thing."
lJpcon1ing Events
September 19, '1998 MOVIE NIGHT - COSTA BRAVA - The word is,
"it is a must see movie". The relationship between Anna, who is
"Catalan, a lesbian and works in Barcelona as a tour guide to pay bills
while she fund-raises to open her comedic monologue and Montserrat,
who is Jewish, a seismic engineer and not quite sure of her sexual
orientation. An intriguing romantic comedy about two strong women
making life together. ALSO--WOMEN FROM DOWN UNDER - See
PEACH, starring Lucy Lawless (XENA, WARRIER PRINCESS), a sexy tow
truck driver attracted to a young Maori woman, in one of four short
films. The Land Down Under has produced many extgraordinary filmmakers, from Jane Campion (The Piano) to Gillian Armstrong (Little
Women). Now comes the latest generation of short films.
October 17, 1998 - Another Movie - "All Over Me", a fresh story
of young girls in love from the producers of The Incredibly True
Adventure of 2 Girls in Love. Includes a great soundtrack featuring
Arni DiFranco, The Murmurs, Patti Smith and more
November 21, 1998- Thanksgiving/Harvest Gathering and maybe
more, we may also have some clips of the ever popular "Top Twins"
and other short clips.
December - No Coffeehouse - Happy Hanukkah/Merry Christmas
We are also thinking about planning a trip to Detroit to see a
WNBA game in the next year, so stay tuned.
Adopt-A-Highway
( on the one mile of M-72 highway dedicated to Friends North)
We've had two pick-up days already this year. I would encourage you, if you have never participated, to join us on September 30
at 5:30 pm at the old Acme Theater. Bring water and gloves. If we
have 8 people it only takes two hours.
Its a hoot to compare our loot at the end. We have several
categories ... grossest, funniest,and most unusual . On July 22, our
coordinator Alec Alspaugh, won hands down ... He found a black
push-up bra (refused to model) ! And also, he came up with a wallet
containing $247.00 !!!!! Some lucky young woman from Rapid City
was very happy to get this back. Way to go Alec!
Best of all you get to share time with fellow F.N. people.
Come join us.
-Brenda Bartz
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
Unity Church
3600 Five Mile Road
Traverse City
Call 946-2708
for more information
-4-
Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse is generally held on the
third Saturday of each month except for this year there are
few changes in dates. Please see related Out 'n About
Upcoming Events Calendar. No coffeehouses will be held for
1998 in April, July, August, or December. The Coffeehouse
comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :CD pm at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chemfree with a cover donation of $3-5 ($5-10 if we have
entertainment). Coffee, tea and snacks are free; so~ drinks
are available.
The coffeehouse is managed by an informal gathering of
lesbians who call themselves the Steering Committee. Please
consider joining the Steering Committee so that your ideas
can be heard. The committee meets for a couple hours on
the Monday prior to the 3rd Saturday coffeehouse or Monday
prior to event, for planning of each month's event. For
coffeehouse information, or location of committee meeting,
call Brenda at 946-27O8-leave message.
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
Profile: Sheryl Layton
John Evans
UP this way
by Greg R. Baird
What a wonderful beginning of summer it has been. I hope all
of you are getting some sunshine, warmth and those nice breezes
across our lakes. A lot has been changing around the Petoskey/
Cheboygan area that all of you should know about.
It is often very difficult to have a place where you can connect
with other gay folks, to share, laugh and have a good time outside
of that bar atmosphere. If you didn't know already, a group of gay/
lesbian and bisexual people are meeting once a week in Petoskey at
a local resturant. We just moved our dinner group to Wednesday
nights at 7:00pm in Noggin Room at the bottom of the Perry Hotel
in downtown Petoskey. This is a good opportunity to meet new people
and have that feeling of community, which is so important for all of
us. Thanks also to the work of a few, we now have a newsletter to
keep people posted on activities, announcements, classifieds and
gay friendly businesses. Its people like this that do the newsletter
that bring something into our community and is so desperatly needed.
Thanks!!
If you were to travel 45 minutes Northeast you would find a
new place for gay people to go and find support. Its that community
feeling I'm talking about! Thanks to Stan and Chris, they have created "The Underground." The Underground is a place to have fun
and socialize without all the attitude the bar sometimes brings.
With lots of hard work and dedication Stan and Chris have converted
the basement of their downtown retail store (Talk of the Town) into
a beautifully decorated environment complete with music, dance
floor, big screen T. V., big over stuffed furniture and warm welcoming
friendship.
The Underground is not a licensed bar. If you want to drink
alcohol, you are welcome to bring your own. Soft drinks and mixes
can be purchased for a small fee. Any small profit from this will be
to help buy ice and snacks. Donations are accepted to help cover
the operational costs.
The plans are to be open every two weeks on a Saturday from
8:30pm till 1:00am. For more information you may contact Stan at
(616) 627-9883 or www.bridge627@aol.com. Again, its people like
this that give back to the community to make things better, to offer
of themselves unselfishly. I'm very thankful that we have people
like this in our community.
A few newsletters back I asked people where they go to find
that since of community or if they would like to get connected. I'm
still interested in finding out and helping those out who need to
"get connected." Feel free to write me at P.O. Box 132, Petoskey, MI
49770 or e-mail at gbair@sunny.ncmc.cc.mi.us. I would really like
to hear from you and see what is happening where you are at - the
outcome can only be positive.
Enjoy your fall and take a drive to Petoskey or Cheboygan to see
what's happening up this way. Peace.
Sheryl Layton's story is about a Michigan girl who went to Texas
to seek her fortune and returned with a new outlook on life, a girlfriend and a burgeoning career.
"It was eleven below zero when I left Michigan in my little
Chevette, loaded with cases of wine, and when I got there it was 40
degrees and people were shivering in downtown San Antonio, and it
was culture shock because it was largely Hispanic - 65% ... so I was
in minority.
Went into a Spanish speaking kitchen ... "
Sheryl had just graduated from the Culinary Institute of America
in Hyde Park, New York, and had accepted a job with the Four Seasons Hotel in San Antonio.
This all started on a wheat farm north of Howell where Sheryl
grew up and graduated from Howell High School.
"When I was 15, I was looking for a job. I put an application in
at the car wash and at the restaurant and the restaurant called me
first for a waitress job and I took it. I jumped from job to job for
about ten years before I ever got into the kitchen ."
Sheryl lived in Detroit for a couple of years and then moved to
Marquette where she worked in the Crow's Nest of the Old Marquette
Inn.
"I was working at the Crow's Nest cleaning shrimp and squid
and I wondered if I was ever going to make more than $5 an hour.
And the answer to my question was NO. So I decided to go to school."
And so she did - at the Jacobetti Skill Center (comparable to
our TBA Skill Center) where after one semester the instructor told
her he couldn't teach her anything more and that if she was really
serious about this and wanted to be a chef, she should go to New
York.
"He wrote a letter for me. I had to write an essay about why I
wanted to do this. I got on the waiting list - went downstate to live
with my parents for a year."
The first of her two years at the Institute Sheryl lived on campus, but the next year she shared an apartment in Poughkeepsie
with a group of students and worked in a winery. She was paid in
bottles of wine - a bottle of wine for an hour of work! (Hence, the
cases of wine she loaded into her little Chevette)
When she began working at the Four Seasons Sheryl found she
was working not only with Spanish-speaking people but also with a
drinking crew. Pitchers of Margaritas and beer were always in the
cooler and drinking was encouraged.
"After six months I knew I needed rehab! I called the hotline
not knowing at was a treatment center. They wanted to pick me up
right then at 3:00 in the morning, but I had liquid courage. I knew
better. I chose to stop on the way to work the next day. I went to a
counseling session where they talked me - scared me - into treatment."
Fortunately Sheryl's employer was very supportive during her
stay in treatment, and she returned to work after the month was up
and lived in a half-way house for alcoholic women. The drinking
(Profile continued next page)
NElWORKING 45° NORTH
- 5 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/ SEPTEMBER/ OCTOBER 1998
environment at work became burdensome for her, so when the six
month's transition period was over, Sheryl got her own apartment
and got on the midnight shift to escape that atmosphere.
"I became the midnight chef. We catered to all the celebrities
and their desires for after hours feasting."
But after about two years Sheryl found it was well nigh impossible to get off this midnight shift. She answered an ad in the paper
from Marriott, not knowing it was for their hospital division.
"But when they told me how much it paid and no weekends or
nights I took it and began working at Santa Rosa Hospital."
Meanwhile, a very important person came into Sheryl's life during her period of rehabilitation.
"I was still living in the halfway house when I met Hilda. I
wasn't very interested in her at first. I didn't like healthy people.
But about the time I was coming up on one year of sobriety she
started asking me out - daytime dates. She started telling me all
about the things she was interested in, and they were all the same
things I was interested in, 'cause she'd ask me first 'what do you
like - what are your hobbies' and stuff like that. And I'd tell her I
like to fish and I like .... all the things I like and she would say 'I like
all those things too', and I thought she was lying to me - to get into
my pants. And it wasn't a lie. It was all divine appointment. I couldn't
see that at the time. I thought she was putting one over on me. But
over a period of time I began to see the credibility in her because
she was sane. We've been together 13 years now."
Sheryl had not really totally accepted that she was a lesbian
until she began to get sober.
"I was 18 when I had my first date. I identified myself as a
lesbian but I still messed around with men, and I think I still thought
it was something I would grow out of. I thought, and my mother did
too, my family thought I was going to eventually settle down and
get married. I really believed it - bought it hook, line and sinker. So
by the time I was 31 and got sober and actually grew up and got
responsible and began to look at my life and get honest, my sponsor
said: 'Well. let's look at it this way. If you were the next-doorneighbor of Sheryl for the last five years and saw people come and
go from her place - you saw who came and who left and what kind of
life Sheryl was living, what would you say her sexual orientation
was?' And I said 'Aw, she's lesbian!' And then my sponsor said 'If it
looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and walks like a duck it
probably is a duck"'
"When I drank I had a hard time with that. I had to get honest
when I got sober and as a consequence I take that honesty wherever I go. I take it into my work just who I am wherever I am - with
my family, with Hilda's family, with casual acquaintances, with people
on the phone. Everybody. I don't want anybody to think I'm straight.
So I let them know. It is how it is supposed to be - how I was
designed. I accept it now. It took a long time to get it, but now that
I've got it, I've got it. I don't waffle and it feels good.
"Since I've had a lot of jobs, I've had a lot of practice coming
out. Every time I go to a new one I let everybody know who work
with me, my peers, my superiors. I take Hilda's picture and put it on
my desk. When I see people
struggle with this, I feel
that I am doing them a favor - if they don't accept it
from me this time, it helps
them stretch their horizons
so that the next time it
-might be a little easier for
them. Anyway it is their deal
not mine."
When Sheryl met Hilda,
Hilda was living in a garage
apartment owned by a man
named LeRoy, a widower,
who
lived in the house. And
Sheryl Layton (seen here in a snow
as things go with lesbians,
scape, that's ~ bright red coat!)
after they were about 24
hours into their relationship they started talking about living arrangements. In talking to LeRoy, he came up with the suggestion to
make a switch so that the women could live in the house and he, in
the apartment. That went on for about seven years. When they got
ready to move to Traverse City they invited LeRoy and he accepted
without a pause and is still with them as a father.
It was Sheryl's job that brought the family of three (plus canine
and feline members) to Traverse City in l992. Sheryl was installed as
Executive Chef at Munson Medical Center. Hilda, having gone through
computer schooling, got a job at the Casino in Suttons Bay keeping
the slot machines in working order. But soon Hilda got her dream job,
which she still holds with IBM and the family had to move to Saginaw.
Marriott transferred Sheryl to the Saginaw General Hospital.
"After we got settled in we realized how much we missed this
area. We would visit every weekend or so and stay with people or
maybe camp. But we wanted someplace where we could go and have
a place to stay, so we started looking, and I like Benzie County. And
we found a little piece of property 15 acres and bought it and put a
garage on it and called it a camp. No electricity or water. We mushroom hunt, bird watch, deer hunt, bow hunt, etc."
Then came another move. IBM had a job for Hilda in Traverse
City, but Marriott had none for Sheryl. They moved anyway and have
settled out at the east end of town with LeRqy and the dachshunds
and cat. Fortunately for Sheryl, IBM has domestic partner benefits,
so it was not necessary for her to find full time remunerative employment. But the need to be creatively occupied in her profession
gnawed away at Sheryl until an idea for a business presented itself.
Sheryl had always had in mind that she might one day open a
restaurant, but given a family and a partner who has nights and
weekends off, the 24-hour-a-day seven-day-a-week regimen of the
restaurant business was out of the question.
"I started wondering what I could do that would use my expertise and still allow me nights and weekends off - I've never had that
in my 30-year career. It was Hilda's idea to start this truffle business. I had been making truffles - I'd perfected the recipe over the
(Profile continued next page)
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
- 6 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEITEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
years with Marriott because I would make them for huge receptions,
teas, Christmas parties, weddings. It was something I enjoyed doing. I'm good at it. So why not try to put all these things together:
Traverse City and cherry and chocolate. Traverse City Cherry Chocolate Truffles."
The recipe is very simple: chocolate, cherry and cream. A perfect one woman business. Sheryl has been at it for a little over two
months now and has 30 customers all over Northern Michigan from
Ludington to Mackinac Island.
"I finally have a job I love doing - I think about it when I'm not
at work. I make truffles two days a week and market and distribute
them the other three days. Marketing and distributing are new for
me - a stretch - and very good for me. But the chocolates speak for
themselves. I do not have to do hard sell."
The chocolate delights can be found in several places downtown: The Horizon Book Store, American Spoon Foods, Forgarelli's,
The Cherry Stop, Wine Country and Burritts Market.
Also at Oryana, and at the Mall: Chateau Chantal and the Hallmark Store.
It should not go without mention that Sheryl is a member of
the American Culinary Federation, Northwest Michigan Chapter. She
was selected as chef of the year in l992 just before leaving Munson
to move to Saginaw. In 1996 she was certified as an Executive Chef
- one of only 95 women in the country. As a volunteer she is involved in the American Cancer Society and is a member of the Friends
North Board.
Linda Wilson
The day before I had to drive over to Roscommon - there was a
strong downdraft ... which is a strong wind that comes directly down
and catches everyone by surprise and has speeds normally above 75
mph . There were trees broken and a general mess along the highway. You knew something had happened. Yet even with the high
winds, there were some trees in the area still standing.
Again about three weeks ago, client was just leaving my office
- we stepped out the door and looked to the right. High winds were
blowing, It looked as if a storm was blowing in over the top of the
hill -The trees were bending way over. It was impressive. However,
they did not break. Bob and I were astounded at how far over the
trees were bending without breaking even though they were being
blown furiously. They were highly flexible!
Life is sometimes very much like a storm. We are the trees.
Think of some of the things that come into our lives: illness, identity crises, divorce, relationship upsets, death, family problems, loss,
disasters, personal failures to be who we want to be.
On the positive side of: new location and/or job to adjust to
unexpected news that brings change new marriage - new adjustments personal success You may think that the positive side of the
winds of life are not something to be reckoned with. But just like
the negative side, there is a need for adjustment and flexibility. Did
you know that there are some things that have stayed bent for so
long that when you finally try to straighten. them out, they break?
Somehow they did not have the flexibility to bend and flex with the
pressure, and they stayed bent and then when they were straightened out again they broke. A good example of this is when furniture
is made with cane or bamboo. After the material has dried and
stayed in that position for years, it is no longer flexible.
We all face storms. We all have to confront ourselves, our fears
and our doubts. We all have to face our weaknesses. For this we
have a very strong God,. A God who is able to give more
strength and to be that invisible hand that holds on tight while we
wade through the raging waters to dry land, or to hold the tree to
keep it from breaking.
These two things can bring us encouragement if we will remember them at the moment when the downdraft is the strongest: We
have a very big, strong, loving God who cares about us. We have
each other to love and to help hold on with us.
Just like the tree in Psalm 1, we too can be planted beside the
water and receive nourishment which supplies strength. And after
we weather the storms and continue to nourish ourselves, we see
that it says we will produce fruit. There is a verse in I Corinthians
10:13 that talks about temptation, and presents a concept that is
really a basic principle we can apply to all areas of life. The verse
says: No temptation has come your way that is too hard for flesh
and blood to bear. But God can be trusted not to allow you to suffer
any temptation beyond your powers of endurance. God will see to it
that every temptation has a way out, so that it will never be impossible for you to bear it. (Phillips)
cpreative Solutions through Hypnotherapy
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Certified
Hypnotherapist
Call now for your free
phone consultation502 E. Eighth Street • Traverse City, Ml 49686
Open Barn to Midnight Mon-Fri
Saturday 10-5 • Sunday 1 2-5
616-947-1965 • Fax 616-947-4724
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
616-947-8842
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733 E. Eigth St., T.C.
Hypnotherapy can help in:
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relationship conflicts
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pain management
women's issues
childhood trauma
spiritual crisis
_ 7 _ VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/ AUGUST/ SEPTEMBER/ OCTOBER 1998
Are you experiencing a storm in your life in some way?
Do you need to spend more time with close friends for encouragement?
Do you need to spend more time alone to clarify your thinking?
Have you spent time meditating and drawing strength from God?
Are you being very good to yourself? And gentle with yourself?
The next time we have a whopper of a storm, watch the trees,
think about their flexibility and strength. Imagine yourself taking
nourishment from the earth and bearing the deliciously good fruit
that is the natural outcome of a good strong tree in your life. Give
thanks that you are flexible, that you have resources of strength in
God and you have the love of your brothers and sisters. Give thanks
that you will be lifted - sooner or later - from your distresses. Be
thankful that you do not have to walk with the ungodly and scornful
and have their angry responses to life. You do not need to lash out
and be filled with inner turmoil. Give thanks that you do not need to
live under the control of fear and depression. All of these responses
we may experience, but they do not have to dominate our live. We
can be strong, flexible, fruitful trees in the storms of life.
Journey In Light Ministries meets 1st & 3rd Sunday of the month,
Suttons Bay Library Community Room (side entrance) Call (616) 2712529 for more information.
It's Time to Get Political
A message from Ian J. Whitney
As we enter the 1998 political campaign season, please keep
the following in mind:
• You can actively advocate change in our community
• The average local campaign contribution ($25) is less than the
cost of a new hardcover book, the ad~ission price to three
movies, and dinner for two at most restaurants
• Helping with a literature drop is good exercise
• Your vote does count
The rewards to voting and volunteering:
• You earn the right to complain (about the government)! Those
who do not vote lose that right
• You have actively contributed to creating a government that
represents you
• You have done your part in furthering the fight for equality
Where do you start?
• Send $25 (or whatever you can spare) to the candidate of your
choice
• Volunteer to make phone calls, to put a sign in your yard, or to
pass out literature
• Tell your friends to support that candidate
There is too much political apathy in our community. There is
no excuse to not vote. There are very few excuses for not volunteering. Let's join hands as a community and work together to create a
better future. It's time to flex the political power that we all have as
United States Citizens.
A NE\V Beginning's End
Michael Allen Kreps
Well, it is a little after 6 00 p. m Saturday night, and I've just
got off the phone with you. I ha decided to write a letter that may
never be sent, because I have so much within me that is unexpressed.
I have spent a great deal of time since April I reflecting on you
and me, and searching within myself for faults and weaknesses that
bring me from time to time to emotional ruin. They are not hard to
find. I know you tried to reassure me that it wasn't my fault, but I
cannot help but think that somehow, 1 let a rare and beautiful thing
slip through my hands. You would have felt differently about me,
and you would have wanted to continue a romantic relationship
with me, if I could have been more of what you wanted. I can't
begin to tell you how much I wish I was that man, because you are
everything I could have hoped to have in a man, and my heart still
yearns for you beyond relief 66 days later.
Not one day since then have I not thought about you and what
for me has felt like a great loss. Most vividly, I frequently recall us
slow-dancing together at the Triangle not long after we met in January, and how my heart soared when you reached over to me that
night in the car and held my hand. My mind constantly returns to
the moments when we lay together at night. Your clean scent still
haunts me.
I also remember the events of that first Wednesday of April,
when you chose your words carefully in that restaurant, in complete
dominion over your emotions. I felt so rejected, yet my feelings for
you were undiminished. In an effort to keep the tension broken, you
chattered of insubstantial things right from the restaurant all the
way back to your apartment, while I suffered silently. I felt like
asking you to just be quiet for a little while.
I was genuinely surprised by my reaction; I thought I would
handle it better than I did. I'm the one after all who set us together
that night to bring this up, and it's not as if I didn't know what was
coming. What was said to me in words that night I had already seen
in your eyes the last time we were together. It was subtle, like a
gentle change in the breeze on the ocean, but to me it was unmistakable. I remember I slept very little that time. I lay beside you
that night and watched you as you slept; I was keenly aware that I
had blown the whole thing somehow. I know that you wanted to end
it earlier, but refrained from doing so because I had just welcomed
you back from your week- long absence with the gift of glassware
that you had so admired before in Southfield I was so happy with
what I had done, and you didn't want to hurt my feelings-a kindness I am still grateful for.
When we hugged the last time in your living room, I know you
regretted hurting me, while I regretted things said and unsaid between us, my heart aching with inconsolable grief. It is the sweetest
agony I have ever known. I was in tears again as soon as your door
(A New Beginning - continued on next page)
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
- 8 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
closed behind me, and I cried so hard during the trip back north
that sometimes I couldn't see the road. They have made a holiday
for me with this day in mind, and they call it April Fools' Day.
All this having been said, I don't for a minute regret our time
together, and I am so very grateful for you and 1, even though it
was to be for just a little while. I have known rejection my whole
life, ever since my awn mother abandoned me when I was two, never
to be seen again, and even when Paul left me for the big life in
Nashville after eleven years together. Life bewilders me so. I have
sent nothing but love out to those around me and so often it is not
returned. Soon you will meet someone new, someone so wonderful
you will lay down at night with him in your thoughts, and you'll
often dream of him throughout the day. I just want you to know
t hat you are so very special, more than you'll ever know, and the
man who gets you will have found a priceless treasure.
I continue to hope that the road your heart is on will someday
lead back to me, but you have told me "that stage of
our relationship is over.''. During our time together, we never really
defined our emotional investment with each other. I never told you
how I really felt because I was afraid the spell would be broken, and
I did not want you to recoil from me. Of course ['know it doesn't
matter anymore, so l will tell you now:
Ever since you reached over to me that night in the car, my
hand to hold, your ascendancy over me in my heart was complete. I
have loved you ever since.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
Houghton Lake, 6 June, 1998
I will always love you,
Michael Allen Kreps
High Tea Thank Yous
The 5th Annual High Tea was held April 12th, Easter Sunday at
the Opera House in Traverse City. Over 100 people turned out to
enjoy great food, wonderful entertainment by Kevin, Colin and Jim
as well as the Northern Michigan Womyn's Choir; lots of fabulous
door prizes, shopping opportunities, fun and conversation. The High
Tea is a celebration of our community and friends. It is a time to
come together, take pride in our community and celebrate the richness of our diversity.
Please support the following businesses and individuals who
sponsored the High Tea and/or provided the wonderful door prizes:
A.L. Mitchell & Associates; Barker Creek Nursery; Bellaire Bed & Breakfast; Bellaire Cafe; Bookie Joint; Borders Books; Candle Factory; Chef
Charles'; Cindy and Dean Robb; Fantasia's Gardens; Hair Force One;
Horizon Books Instant Framer; Jen-Tees Custom Screen Printing;
Laura Lawicki, C.M.T.; Lissa Napora, C.M.T.; Miner's North; Norther
Michigan Womyn's Choir; Old Town Playhouse; Suzette Corbit D.C.
Chiropractor; Traverse City Cherry Chocolate Truffles; and Wendy
Vanvalkenburg, C.M.T.
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
About the City Commission
Jim Poole
The Traverse City City Commission held a study group with the
Traverse City Human Rights Commission to discuss amending the
city press. pol to include sexual orientation on June 8. This was the
third time the city commission has discussed the issue after rejecting it in two separate votes two years ago. Of the seven
commissioners, three expressed support for the amendment, then
rejected it and one, Commissioner Tompkins did not clearly state
how he would side in a formal vote.
The three supportive commissioners were newly elected officials
M. Dodd, L. Smyka, and T. Gilbert. (Some referred to having expressed
support before the election when the press covered the issue).
J. Weese and P Orth rejected it as they did two years ago.
Weese stated that he felt this policy would put gays above everyone
else. L Hardy said that he has changed his mind from when he
supported the policy two years ago because he was convinced that
the policy would expose the city to a number of lawsuits. Commissioner Tompkins expressed the same concern he had two years ago
that changing the policy would send a message that there is discrimination going on within the city. He did, however state that he
feels the city should be looking at a broader city ordinance. He said
that if the HRC is looking for enough votes to pass a policy that an
ordinance should be discussed.
Rudy Serra, a downstate lawyer, and former member of Michigan Human Rights Commission, addressed the comments that the
committee raised. He said that the statute would not put gays above
others because as defined by law sexual orientation is a term that
describes everyone and therefore no individual is placed above another. He said the heterosexual and bisexual would have the same
protection under this provision . He said that the city would be protected from law suite because in a discrimination charge the city
could prove that it is against their law to discriminate and therefore
show that the manager or employer acted alone.
Serra said that the city should not be concerned with sending a
negative message. Serra said he felt the city would be sending a
positive measure by making a choice not to allow discrimination in
an area that is often thought to be conservative.
K. Anders of the HRC later took a group of people at the Friends
North Pride Picnic that the commission has given up on passing a
policy change, but that they will probably approach the city at a
later time with a city-wide ordinance. She said that the committee
will need the support of the community at that time.
rrraverse
-=~,~rotors
Carolyn R. Delo
Sales & Leasing
Phone 616/946-5540 • Fax 616/946-0258
1301 S. Garfield Road • Traverse City, MI 49686
Toll Free 800/678-6968 • www.traversemotors.com
- 9 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/ SEPTEMBER/ OCTOBER 1998
(Note: All classified announcements are run without charge. Please
submit them in writing to the Friends North address, or call the
e(iitor at 616-271-3042 and leave the advertisement on the answering machine along with a contact phone number)
GROUPS:
PERSONALS:
NATURAL MAN, 36 y.o., 210#, 6'2", good looking and looking for
some sensuous fun, possible relationship. I'm romantic and sincere.
Love massage, native american culture, hiking, classical music. Write:
Wright Thanodin, Box 176, Leland, MI 49654 (issue 3)
SEEKING BOYFRIEND: 21 y.o., 5'6", 128#. I am outgoing, romantic,
sincere, easy-going and enjoy nature hikes. Please write to Sean,
1627 Woodard St., Traverse City, MI 49686 (issue 3)
HOUSING:
CUUNARY CHEF LOOKING for housing in Petoskey/Charlevoix or surrounding area. Can house sit. Please call 616-201-2200. (issue 3)
21 YO WANTS ROOMMATE: Near downtown TC; $200./mo. Write:
Sean, 1627 Woodard St., Traverse City, MI 49686 (issue 3)
NE\iV ANNOUNCEJ\1ENTS
THE TRIANGLE FOUNDATION in Detroit has asked that we pass along
their statewide, toll-free number for reporting hate crimes. Please
call 1-888-442-9287. (issue 3)
ON-GOING ANNOUNCEMENTS
RAINBOW FRIENDS reaches out to lesbians, gays, bisexual and the
transgendered in the NE Michigan area. Individuals in the region
should feel free to call 517-354-0841 and contact me (Brad Vauter)
for more information. Informal pot-luck type gatherings are generally held monthly in Alpena. In addition, occasional field trips are
sometimes planned by interested participants.(issue 4)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis Center
volunteers. (Issue 5)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION OF PETOSKEY is
meeting at the Concord Academy, 2230 East Mitchell St. Services are
held on the first and third Sundays of the month at 11 a.m. Please
call 347-8916 for details or write POB 873, Petoskey, MI 497700873 (Issue 5)
REPORT HATE CRIMES!! The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALillON. The group
will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay victims of
such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-753-9823. Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 5)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages. Confidential
services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and testing,
pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants,
Depo-Provera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and
other methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 9224630. Services are by appointment only. (issue 1)
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
FRIENDS NORTH MEETINGS: The Friends North Board meets on the
first Tuesday of each month (Except August) at 6:30 p.m. at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner of Washington and Boardman Streets, across
from the Old Courthouse. ALL ARE WELCOME (issue 5)
COMMON VOICE-S--THE FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a grouµ-·ofmerr
and women who get together monthly for informal discussion, often
on a particular topic. Please join us on the 2nd Wednesday of every
month at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C., at 7:30pm.
For information, call Tom at 275-6127. (issue 5)
GLSEN, the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Education Network, is meeting
monthly in Traverse City. They welcome all interested educators. For
more information, call M'Lynn at 943-5050. (issue 5)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is
a network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who
meet monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with
others about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace
Episcopal Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For
more information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045 (Issue 5)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under the age of 25, which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere
that is comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 9224800 or 1-800-442-7315 for location, date and time. (issue 5)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as
well as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Please see the Out 'n About
calendar elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 5)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running,
call Jim or Kirk at 933-5250 and leave your name, number, and that
you are interested in Frontrunners. He will return your call with
information on where to meet. All ages and abilities are welcome.
(issue 3)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church library at
341 Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month
the Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting at 3301 Veterans Drive, Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further
information, please call 933-0279. (issue 5)
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Wednesdays@ the Noggin Room in the Perry Hotel. For information
please contattTim at 348-8151 (issue--s)-NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb at 276-9357. (issue 5)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit organization that has committed itself to helping and supporting the needs
- 10 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
F, operty of the Ct-:r tH
of HIV infected persons. They offer a number of services, including
support groups, education, public awareness, and one-on-one friendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena, Gaylord,
and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the program,
please call 616-526-9213. (issue 5)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Wednesday at 5:30 pm and Saturday at 11:00 am at Grace
Episcopal Church, corner Washington and Boardman Streets in TC. For
further info, call John at 922-0746 or Hilda at 938-9294. (issue 5)
GAY-LESBIAN BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP is meeting on the last
Monday of each month, 7:30 pm, at Border's Bookstore on South
Airpoit Rd., T.C. For info, call Border's at 933-0412 and ask for Aimee.
(issue 5)
BI-MONTHLY, BI-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first and
third Tuesday of each month, from 11:30 am until 1:00 at a local
Traverse City restaurant. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact Friend~
North. (issue 5)
ANDREW
L.
MITCHELL
May 2, 1998
Friends-North, Inc.
Traverse City MI 49684
Dear Friend.
We are a small group of concerned Catholics who want to reach
out to anyone who has been hurt by the church or the civic community through prejudice and lack of compassion and understanding.
Each time we meet, it is our intention to educate ourselves and
then reach out in a way that indicates that we want to be loving
persons because of the educational thrust that we have discussed.
Last month we viewed a film from "Catholics Speak Out," which
contains a segment on Gay and Lesbian Persons. After a lengthy
discussion, we all wanted to contact your organization and tell you
that we support you and want you to know that, if you have been
hurt by any church in the past, we ask your forgiveness and assure
all of you that we are your friends.
We ask that God may smile on you and give you peace.
Sincerely in Christ,
ACCREDITED BUSINESS ACCOUNTANT
Ml
814-A SOUTH
GARFIELD
TRAVERSE CITY,
MI 49686
WWW .ALMITCHELL.COM
PHONE(616)947-1492
FAX (616) 935-3949
ANDY@ALMITCHELL.COM
B AT I C
IHI~~IR
FORCE
Professional
custom picture
framing
QXE
801 W. Front St.
Traverse City, Ml 49684
Todd McMillen
proprietor
941-8255
326 East Front Street
Traverse City, MI 49684
616-947-8908
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
Mark Lizenby
- 11 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
Doing the Splits
-Alan N. Williams
Ever see the movie version of "Jeffrey"? There's this scene where
a Pride parade is getting set up, and as Steve reads the list of participating groups, and names like "Concerned Pan-Asian Bisexuals" and
"Black Gay Republicans" pop up. Funny, aren't they? Sad thing is, it's
not all satire. Many members of the GLBT community have been complaining for some time about the splintering of the community.
The people who complain have a point. If the point of referring
to a "gay community" or "gay/lesbian/bisexualjtransgendered (GLBT)
community" is to create a sense of unity against the biases created
by the heterosexual world at large, then maybe we are defeating the
purpose of that unity by separating into a collection of specialinterest organizations. Many times the GLBT-oriented news media
(e.g. The Advocate) has reported on the splits within sections of the
GLBT community. Separation within the community isn't even a new
thing, really; back in 1970, the co-founder of the Daughters of Bilitis,
Del Martin , left the Gay Liberation movement in favor of the Women's
Movement. Today there are special-interest groups for a whole host
of GLBT youth, transgendered, lesbians, bisexuals, and, of course,
gay men. When groups like ACT UP and Queer Nation were attacked
by other organizations within the GLBT community, what kind of
ammunition is the community, as a whole, giving those who would
deny us equal rights? For that matter, what does such splintering do
to the concept of GLBT Pride?
I'm not sure if there's an answer to the first question, but to
answer the second, I extend an invitation to attend an event like
Chicago's Pride Parade or Friends North's own Pride Picnic. (Although
both will already be over for this year by the time you read this, I
invite you to attend next year.) If you go to Chicago, take a notebook and write the names of the groups who march in the parade.
When I've been to these parades, I've seen a gay men's chorus,
people from PFLAG, some of the different bars (Roscoe's has had
everything from floats to a dance troupe to a "rifle corps," sometimes all in the same parade), the Chicago Gay Metal Society (that's
"metal" as in the rock genre "heavy metal"), the Lambda Car Club,
LEAGUE {AT&T's GLBT group)-plus, of course, politicians, radio stations (Chicago's 0101 distributes promo stickers with a rainbow
background), and all the stereotypes that tend to pop up on the
evening news when one of the parades receives any kind of air time.
Heck, there's even a GLBT square dancing group.
Special-interest groups? You bet. All in the same parade? Sure
thing. Despite the differences between the groups, and despite the
odd pictures that may be created in someone's mind, all these different groups share the concept of Pride. What GLBT Pride boils
down to is an understanding that the GLBT community is, or at least
is supposed to be, about being free to be oneself. It's a reminder
that it took drag queens at Stonewall, women in the Daughters of
Bilitis, men in the Mattachine Society, and countless other groups
of individuals to get us where we are today-to get us to the point
where we _can_ march down the streets together, and to reach the
understanding that, despite the differences among the members of
the community that we share, we still have something in common.
And that is what really defines a community.
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
Triangle Foundation
Statewide Activisn1
1. Victims Project.
The Triangle Foundation has established 5 outstate reporting
stations for tracking and reporting anti-glbt discrimination,
intimidation, harassment, and violence. Additional reporting
stations will be added throughout the year. Currently stations
exist in Grand Rapids, Flint, Mt. Pleasant, Lansing, and Ann
Arbor. Possible future sites include: Traverse City, Kalamazoo,
Saginaw , Marquette, and Escanaba .
2. Legal Advocacy Fund
The Triangle Foundation has established a Legal Aid Fund to
assist clients statewide with attorney and court costs. The Legal Advocacy Fund is the only one of its kind in Michigan .
3. Human Rights Project
The Triangle Foundation offers attorney referrals for clients
around Michigan. The Human Rights Project helps clients seek
legal assistance from glbt and glbt friendly attorneys near every major city in the state.
4. Legislative Education
The Triangle Foundation tracks legislation and policy initiatives
on the local, state and national level. At any given time, the
Triangle Foundation is working to support, or oppose legislation dealing with hate crimes, workplace discrimination,
adoption/custody, same-sex marriage, domestic partnership
benefits, HIV funding/prevention, and legislation dealing with
minority and women's rights.
5. Legislative District Coordinators (LDC's)
The Triangle Foundation has established a statewide network of
LDC's to work locally on issues of state and local importance.
LDC's meet with their elected officials, assist in tracking and
reporting anti-glbt activity, and track defamation in local press.
6. People of Faith Network
The Triangle Foundation works with religious leaders and churches
around the state of Michigan to combat the right-wing fundamentalist rhetoric and political action ~esigned to strip glbt
(Triangle Foundation continued on next page)
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- 12 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/ AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
people of their dignity, safety, and civil rights. The People of
Faith Network harnesses religious support from a broad spectrum of supportive faith-based institutions.
7. Media Watchdog/Advocacy
The Triangle Foundation works with print and broadcast media
all over Michigan and the United States to ensure that issues of
glbt concern are covered with fairness and accuracy. The Triangle Foundation's work has established it as Michigan's leading
voice on glbt issues and one of America's most respected sources
dealing with hate crimes against glbt people.
8. Community Response
The Triangle Foundation works hard to respond to local activist's
request fdr presence in communities dealing with glbt issues.
Organizers Express Enthusiastic Support for
"Equality Begins at Home" State Actions
WASHINGTON - Organizers for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgendered community's fourth March on Washington today announced the event will be held on April 30, 2000. The march aims to
articulate the concerns of our community and focus our nation's
attention on our quest for equality in all aspects of life.
"We expect one million of my gay, lesbian, bisexual, and
transgendered sisters and brothers and our enlightened allies to
stand on the Mall and call upon our nation to live out the promise of
equality under the law," said Rev. Troy D. Perry, long-time gay activist and founder of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community
Churches.
Organizers took steps this week to begin incorporation of a
non-profit entity to handle planning, production and financial arrangements. Efforts are underway to make this is a democratic process
where all segments of our community are represented.
"The millennium march promises to continue its bold commitment to all people of color. I am hearing from Native Americans,
Asians, African Americans, Latinos and Pacific Islanders who are
ecstatic about participating," said Martin Ornelas-Quintero, executive director of the Latino Latina/o, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, &
Transgender Organization.
Organizers also expressed their support today for the "Equality
Begins at Home" actions on all 50 state capitals set for 1999.
"The Equality Begins at Home" actions enjoy the full and enthusiastic support of the organizers of the Millennium March," said
Elizabeth Birch, executive director of the Human Rights Campaign.
"It's imperative that we focus our energies as a movement at both
the state and federal level. These two events will complement each
other as together we build the momentum to achieve equality in the
next century."
NETWORKING 45° NORTH
"I am glad to see both of these events moving towards a more
collaborative process," said Jubi Headley, executive director of the
National Black Lesbian and Gay Leadership Forum. "This is a positive sign of progress."
"Our greatest hope as a movement lies in our commitment to
work together for social change. Our passion for justice and our
pledge to lift up every voice has the potential to transform town
halls, state houses, and our nation's capitol," said Kerry Lobel, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.
Gay Contributions
By Deb Price
The DETROIT NEWS
The gay civil rights movement has no shortage of noble causes,
no shortage of lofty goals, no shortage of creative energy. What's
holding us back is a lack of sufficient money.
Our struggle for social and political equality is being run on a
frayed shoestring. The multitude of local, state and national gay
groups trying to slay the twin dragons of ignorance and prejudice
are woefully underfjnanced. It's truly amazing what dedicated bands
of volunteers, plus a few paid leaders, have accomplished in the ,
past quarter century. But, oh, just imagine how much more would
already be won if our hardy groups were fully funded.
The first in-depth study of gay charitable contributions helps
explain gay rights groups' cash shortage: Even among those gay
men and lesbians who are involved enough to be on a gay mailing
list, a paltry $15 out of every $100 given to nonprofit organizations
goes to gay political advocacy groups. That's simply not enough.
Gay donors actually contribute slightly more to nonprofits than
the average American donor - 2.5 percent of personal income vs.
2.2 percent of household income. That's what "Creating Communities," a joint project by the Institute for Gay and Lesbian Strategic
Studies and the Working Group on Funding Lesbian and Gay Issues,
found in its survey of 2,244 gay people in Milwaukee, Philadelphia
and San Francisco.
But gay people channel only 42 percent of their contributions
into gay groups. Meanwhile, nongay charities get 44 percent, and
the remaining 14 percent goes to AIDS work. Of the gay money
given to gay groups of all sorts, barely one-third is contributed to
advocacy groups and political campaigns.
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We gay Americans are the only minority still oppressed by wholesale discrimination that's written into Law. Our political needs are so
great; our community is so small. And as individuals, many, perhaps
most, of us already feel overextended. But mainstream foundations
aren't going to bankroll our movement: For every $100 in foundation awards, Less than one dime goes to gay causes. So it's up to us
and our allies to find ways to give more generously.
Ask Leaders of gay advocacy groups about finances and you'll
keep hearing the same thing - more money would make a huge
difference.
For example, another $50,000 a year would "guarantee longterm survival" for Michigan's Triangle Foundation, says chairman
Neil Hilton, a volunteer. Two paid staffers fight hate crime on a
$90,000 budget. "We're always focusing on how we're going to keep
the Lights and phones on," Hilton adds. (Contact the foundation at
www.tri.org or 313-537-3323.)
Marriage Project Hawaii, striving for the biggest breakthrough
in gay history, has just one full-time worker and a $173,000 budget.
With an extra $50,000, it could register college-age voters before
Hawaii's marriage referendum in November, says board member Tom
Ramsey.
"Once people finally hear our story, we have a very generous
response," he says. (Reach the project at www.xq.com/mph or 808942-3737 .)
At the National Center for Lesbian Rights, executive director
Kate Kendell dreams of having 10 full-time attorneys, not just two.
"Giving is increasing, but there still is a Lot of apathy that somebody
else will do it .... That's how we Lose custody for a lesbian mom in
Alabama." Most of the $718,000 1997 budget for NCLR, one of only
four gay legal groups nationwide, came from individual gifts averaging $110. (Contact www.nclrights.org or 415-392-6257.)
What are our real priorities? Our checkbooks know. So when we
say we support gay rights, let's make sure our checkbooks agree.
(reprinted with permission of the Detroit News)
By DAVID KOPAY
Reggie, you are wrong, so very wrong! Are you aware that the American Association of Psychiatrists removed homosexuality as a disorder
more than 25 years ago? How can you dare to contribute to the pain of
millions of Americans, especially gay teen-agers who are bullied, vilified
and bashed by classmates because of extremist and outdated views on
homosexuality? As a former Green Bay Packer, as a 10-year veteran of the
National Football League and the World League, as a man who happens
to be gay, shame, shame on you!
Like you, I feel a deep responsibility to speak out, to speak the
truth. And I'm certainly not afraid to do so; As a youngster, I Loved sports
and the passion and competition that went with them. I was an aggressive, Type Apersonality, yet I was often afraid of the violence I knew was
part of me. I Loved team sports, especially football, and now understand
that it was through football that I Learned to channel my energy.
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
I wasn't naturally tough or gifted, but by conquering my fears and
working hard I became both. It was through sports that I became a
decent student; I had to be, to stay eligible to play. But my parents didn't
want me to play because as an 11-year old I grew so fast I developed a
painful bone disease. Doctors said that the disease could be crippling.
My parents wouldn't sign the necessary papers to allow me to compete, so I had to find a way around it. I was in constant pain, but I was
Lucky: I was playing.
In high school (a Large all-boys Catholic one) I became the only
three-sport Letterman, in football, track and basketball. I earned a scholarship to the University of Washington, where I was elected co-captain of
the 1964 Rose Bowl team. I was not drafted in 20 rounds, but I made the
1964 San Francisco 49ers as a free agent.
After a few years playing with the 49ers and the Detroit Lions, I was
claimed off waivers by Coach Vince Lombardi, who was then with the
Washington Redskins. I was thrilled, but I was also scared. Lombardi
exposed a player's pluses and minuses almost immediately.
It was at this time that I was coming to grips with my true sexual
identity as a gay man. I was so uncomfortable then that I could barely
use the word "gay"; let alone "homosexual"; Lombardi certainly didn't
know. And in his wildest dreams he couldn't have known that his soon-tobe All-Pro tight end Jerry Smith was gay, or that others in the front office
were gay. How Lombardi would have reacted is hard to say. But, Reggie,
I can tell you, he certainly wouldn't react as you have, even though he
was a very religious man.
Given the knowledge and awareness of today's world, he would be
consistent with it. He loved the people close to him. And he loved Jerry,
as everyone did. Most of the players knew who was gay; they just didn't
talk about it. They didn't care, and that was 1969-70.
But nothing changes without dialogue. It was only after my book was
published in 1977 that people really started to address the difficulties and
injustices of being a gay athlete. Reggie, you said you are going "to speak
out againstthings that are hurting our children, that's killing off our people";
Gay folks are the children you speak of; they are the people. Sexual repression, alcoholism, spousal abuse, child abuse, drug addiction, loneliness,
hate and ignorance are the real enemies we face. Lighten up on gay folks
because we are not the enemy. Let me regress a bit.
In 1961, all University of Washington football players were required
to live in the athletic dormitory. My roommate _and I were the first black _
and white football players to share a room. We were competing for the
same running back position and I soon learned that all the myths I had
heard about black players were just that, myths. Pie was just as smart and
just as dumb as the rest of us. He was our equal and, wi1h his athletic
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- 14 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/ AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/ OCTOBER 1998
ability, maybe better. But if Warren Moon had attended Washington in
those days, instead of 1974-77, I doubt he would have been given a
chance to play quarterback.
His race would have excluded that. In fact, most Southern colleges
had no black players; You have equated gays with "liars and cheaters";
and people who are "malicious and back-stabbers," and you've said that
"homosexuality is a decision"; A choice like the color of your skin is a
choice. Why would you think that anyone would choose to be gay, thus
putting himself into a category of people who are hated, despised and
persecuted? Try being assertive, educated and a successful "faggot"; a
name I have been called many times by my co-workers.
•
Do you know what's actually contributing to the decline of the moral
character of our country? People being dishonest dealing with sexual
identity issues, then defining morality only in terms of monogamous
heterosexuality. What really galls me is your whining about "all the bad
stuff people are saying"; about you and that "it hurts."; You say that "the
Sodomite community"; is after you. And that it is because of us you
didn't get your broadcasting job with CBS, as your wife has said. That God
told you to go back to football and "to speak the truth"; You can't handle
the truth. Here is the truth: If Jerry Smith and I had spoken out about
being gay in 1969, I would have been cut for sure. And maybe Jerry
wouldn't have had a 14-year N.F.L. career. Do you think the N.F.L. would
have come to our defense in any form? You have your guaranteed $20million contract. Try struggling every year, as I did, to make the final 40. I
was a player who paid attention to the little things; I know I would have
been a good coach. Do you think that was an option open to me after 10
years playing pro ball?
You said that "homosexuality is one of the Bible's biggest sins.";
Wrong again, or else Jesus would have so stated. And if you are right,
why isn't it one of the Ten Commandments?
You said that "gays can't equate their struggles to African-Americans." Wrong again.
And this one really makes me wonder about you. South Africa recently passed legislation that explicitly outlaws discrimination against
gays in its constitution. If Nelson Mandela can support gay rights, maybe
there is hope for you, too. Today, I'm attending the Gay Games in
Amsterdam, in the Netherlands, whose constitution also protects gays,
and where sexual orientation is not even an issue. I am proud to participate in this international event.
Recently, I participated in the International Summit on Ethics in
Sports, given by the University of South Florida in Tampa. As panelists,
we examined how athletes are identified and stigmatized by their gender,
race and sexual orientation. A black lesbian, who is a former athlete and
now a college professor, rose from the audience and spoke about how my
book, "The David Kopay Story," empowered her sense of self. I felt as if I
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were getting ready for a game and the national anthem were playing.
Two of the six panelists - Todd Boyd and Jeffrey Sammons - are
distinguished black professors who condemned your statements and were
appalled - their word, not mine - by your attack on gays. They agreed
with what Nike's chairman, Phil Knight, said: "Reggie White is in the
simplest terms not evil, he's just crazy."
Do you really care about all our nation's youths, as you say you do?
Do you know how many youths commit suicide yearly, especially because
of their sexual orientation? I seriously, at one time, thought about it as a
way to escape all the loathing and self-loathing. Do you know how many
youths are alcoholics or addicted to drugs? The figures are staggering.
The N.F.L. has hired a number of former players as substance abuse counselors. Do you think that maybe there are deeper reasons for abuse problems
than just achieving the high? If Jerry Smith were alive today, he would
give deeper and more profound testimony. Do you know how many times
Jerry was escorted home by the police - for being under the influence of
something? Many. Yes, society's condemnation contributes to alcohol
and drug abuse. I know that there but for the grace of God go I.
In 1978 I addressed the American Bar Association about the need to
include sexual orientation in recommending our laws. In 1976, in Congress, I lobbied to do the same thing. I also addressed the American
Association of Pediatricians, and said: "The biggest fag haters I know are
the ones who are most confused about their sexuality. I know because I
was one of them."
In my own family, love has overcome almost all the fears and anxieties about my being gay. I feel blessed now with my sexual orientation.
It has helped me understand myself. I know that to love and be loved is
by far my strongest emotion. I have had a card in my bathroom for more
than 30 years that says, "The greatest gift we can give to another is the
vision and beauty of life." Isn't that what we all should be trying to do?
Reggie, as a minister, I hope you get it.
(David Kopay is a floor covering salesman in Hollywood, Calif.,
where he has lived and worked for the last 18 years.)
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- 1 S - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
Major Update To
Domestic Partner Benefit
Provider List
winning the freedom to marry.
Both the Hawaii and Alaska amendments are products of the fierce
national right-wing assault on our lives, families, and equality. Both are
intended to keep us from winning the freedom to marry, a breakthrough
that is otherwise so close to being within reach, especially in Hawaii.
Within the last three years, a long list of major U.S. corpora- Both are funded and pushed by a group of organizations, and even some
tions have been offering their employees a variety of "domestic religious entities, that fully appreciate how significant it would be if we
partner" benefits, once only available to those spouses who could secure such a breakthrough. Both amendments are aimed at strangling
be legally married. These firms include Apple Computer, AT&T, Bank our baby in its cradle in Hawaii and Alaska, as well as shutting down the
of America, Capital Cities/ABC, Dow Chemical, Hearst Corporation, vital national discussion about our freedom to marry and our entitlement
IBM, Polaroid, etc. Public and private employers began offering these to full equality.
Here is what the future holds in store:
benefits to same-sex couples in 1985.
August
and September - In Hawaii (and Alaska) right-wing forces
Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples began tracking
around
the
country
will continue to flood in money to gear up their
these offerings in 1987. The Task Force's recently updated Domestic
attacks.
In
the
rest
of
the country, while continuing their assault on gay
Partner Provider List nearly doubles the previous listings to include
more than 650 employers. It is divided into subsections: Private people generally, our opponents will hope to squelch any public dialogue
Employers, Colleges & Private Schools, Governments, Unions, Regis- about our freedom to marry. They know that the more we get non-gay
people to keep talking about our stories (rather than stereotypes), heartration for Domestic Partners, Registered Partnerships, and
ing from couples and our non-gay clergy, families, or neighbors, the more
Insurance Providers.
•
One way businesses remain competitive is to offer job benefits. the public becomes receptive to our freedom to marry (and ready to
Sometimes, these benefits can amount to a third of an employee's accept it once a breakthrough comes from the courts, as we hope it will
salary and, for some, they provide insurance for their partners' chil- soon).
September/October - In Hawaii (and Alaska), these opponents will
dren that would otherwise be unobtainable.
The Domestic Partner Benefit Provider List is available for free launch their media attack campaign to try to frighten people there into
on the Partners Task Force Web site located at: www.buddybuddy.com voting against our equality. In the rest of the country, they will try to
A paper print-out of the list, along with "Tips on Gaining Work- distort or stifle the non-gay dialogue about our freedom to marry, putting
place Benefits" may be ordered for $16 by sending a check to Partners forth stereotypes rather than the truth about our lives and what marriage
means. They will try to usurp the mantle of religion and "family values" as
Task Force, Box 9685, Seattle, WA 98109.
if they belonged to their side, rather than to those of us fighting to
protect all families. They will gamble that we will be distracted and fail to
speak out, and thereby miss the opportunities to reach out to fai r-minded
potential allies in the non-gay world, especially clergy and community
TO: National Freedom to Marry Coalition State
leaders.
Partners, Allies, Friends, Clergy, and Local Activists
-Also in September/October, the Vermont Supreme Court will most
likely
schedule oral argument in the promising freedom-to-marry case
FROM: The National Freedom to Marry Coalition
brought by local Vermont couples and attorneys and New England's GLAD.
The countdown to the crudal votes in Hawaii and
Like the attacks in Hawaii aimed at blocking the Hawaii Supreme
Alaska has begun.
Court's final ruling, and like the vicious backlash campaign in Alaska, the
On November 3, voters there will decide whether to ratify or reject Vermont Supreme Court argument will be yet another golden opportunity
discriminatory anti-gay amendments that aim to write gay and lesbian for all of us to focus people's attention on how inequality harms our
inequality into their state constitutions and burden our advance toward
Hawaii And Alaska Update
Char P. Kirchner,
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- 16 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/ SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
families. We must show people how (as with race discrimination in marriage a generation ago) the government does ncit have a good reason for
discrimination in civil marriage.
November- In Hawaii (and Alaska), the voters will ratify or reject the
discriminatory amendment proposals. They will thus either making an important statement about preserving the Bill of Rights, independent judiciary,
and equality under the law for all, or invite a new wave of litigation. If we
beat back these amendments, the path will be clear for what we hope will
be a swift decision from the Hawaii Supreme Court We could see oral
argument, a decision, and, we hope, the breakthrough victory by the end of
the year. Such a breakthrough would allow same-sex couples to wed, and
allo\','. non-gay people all across the country to see that, in fact, the sky
doesn't fall and equality is good for all A whole new chapter of unprecedented possioilities and transformation will then open nationwide.
Unmarried couples including gays and lesbians in New York City will
be treated the same as those who are married under landmark legislation
passed in late June.
The law, one of the broadest domestic partner policies in the United
States that gay rights advocates described as historic, addresses a host of
emotional issues and details of everyday life facing couples regardless of
their sexual orientation.
It allows bereavement leave for city employees, visitation rights in
city-run facilities, tenancy succession rights and permits partners to be
buried together in a city-owned cemetery. The estimated 8,700 registered domestic partners in New York City will also be required to meet the
same civic responsibilities as married couples.
The law was approved overwhelming. 39-7, in a City Council vote to
cheers and applause in the public gallery. But before the vote, a group of
Hasidic rabbis gathered in protest outside City Hall, saying Mayor Rudolph
Giuliani and city officials would be cursed and wiped out because of their
support for the legislation. The measure passed by 39 votes to 7 with one
abstention.
The law, approved by Republican Giuliani last month, recognises
domestic partners as equal to spouses in a range of services, benefits, city
employee issues and responsibilities. It fulfiUed a campaign promise Giuliani
made to gay rights advocates last year.
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Office of the Press Secretary -THE WHITE HOUSE
William J. Clinton, President -May 28, 1998
STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT
Today I have signed an Executive Order entitled Further Amendment to Executive Order 11478, Equal Employment Opportunity in
the Federal Government. The Order provides a uniform policy for the
Federal Government to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in the federal civilian workforce and states that policy for
the first time in an Executive Order of the President.
It has always been the practice of this Administration to prohibit discrimination in employment based on sexual orientation in
the civilian workforce, and most federal agencies and department
have taken actions, such as the issuance of policy directives or
memoranda from the agency heads, to memorialize that policy. The
Executive Order I have signed today will ensure that there is a uni form policy throughout the Federal Government by adding sexual
orientation to the list of categories for which discrimination is pro~
hibited in Executive Order 11478 (i.e. race, color, religion, sex,
national origin, handicap, or age).
This Executive Order states Administration policy but does not
and cannot create any new enforcement rights (such as the ability
to proceed before the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission).
Those rights can be granted only by legislation passed by the Congress, such as the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. I again call
upon Congress to pass this important piece of civil rights legislation which would extend these basic employment discrimination
protections to all gay and lesbian Americans. Individuals should not
be denied a job on the basis of something that has no relationship
to their ability to perform their work.
UPDATE
In response to Clinton's executive order, Joel Hefley (R-Colorado) sponsored an amendment to a bill which would have negated
this. His bill was expected to pass, but surprisingly, it was soundly
defeated by the House. Many Republicans joined the Democrats in
affirming protection of gays and lesbians in the employment of the
federal government.
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NETWORKING 45° NORTH
(616} 941-8868
~a~{616} 941-9063
Hrs 9am-7pm Daily• Out of town phone 800-876-8868
1081 S. Airport Road West, Traverse City, Ml 49686 (Colonial Square)
- 17 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/ SEPTEMBER/ OCTOBER 1998
1998 Gay Lesbian Values Index:
The Complete 1998 GLV List of Best Corporate
Citizens for Gay and Lesbians
1998 GLV 100 Index
3Com
Aspect
Adobe Software
Adolph Coors
Advanced Micro Devices
Aetna
America Online
American Airlines
American Express
American Home Products
American President Lines
Amgen
Apple Computer
AT&T
Autodesk
Bank America
BankBoston
Barnes and Noble
Bayer
Bell Atlantic
Ben & Jerry's Homemade
Borland International
Bristol-Myers Squibb
Blue Cross Blue Shield of
Mass
Cambridge Technology Group
Celestial Seasonings
Calvert
Charles Schwab & Company
Chevron
Chiron
Cisco Systems
Donna Karan
Eastman Kodak
ETrade
Egghead Software
Federal National Mortgage
Foote Cone & Belding
Franklin Research and
Development
Gannett Co.
Gap, Inc.
Genetech
General Mills
Gilead Sciences
Glaxo Wellcome
Herman Miller
Hewlett Packard
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
Hill & Knowlton Public
Relations
Hill, Holliday, Connors,
Cosmopulos
IBM
Illinois Tool Works
Informix Software
Intel, Inc.
IKEA
Joseph E. Seagram & Sons
Kaiser Permanente
Levi Strauss & Co.
Lucent Technologies
Lillian Vernon
Mattel
Meyers Pride Value Fund
Microsoft
Minnesota Mining and
Manufacturing
Netscape
NCR
New York Times
Northern Telecom
Novell
NW Ayer & Company
Oracle
Polaroid
Pacific Bell (SBC)
Pfizer
Pacific Gas and Electric
Qualcomm
Quark
RJR Nabisco
Sara Lee
Scholastic
Shell Oil
Silicon Graphics
St. Paul Companies
Starbucks
Subaru
Sun Microsystems
Sybase
Time Warner
United Airlines
US West
Versace
Viacom
Village Voice
Virgin Atlantic Airlines
Visa International
Volkswagen
Wainwright Bank and Trust
Walt Disney/ABC
Wells Fargo
Working Assets
Xerox
Ziff Davis Publishing
Other new appointments this year to the GLV 100 include
Volkswagen, Subaru, Sara Lee, Pfizer, Bristol Myers Squibb, and Mattel.
For more information contact Grant Luken bill at (212) 727 8257
or Howard Tharsing at (415) 695-8766. For information on the Wall
Street Project or a copy of the Wall Street Project's Equality Principles, contact Diane Bratcher at 212 870-2296.
Sunday, September 27th, 1998, 2 PM
Downtown Traverse City
For more info: 616.933.0279
don't -1-((
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Corporate Sponsors of AIDS Wal k
Michigan-T raverse City:
Copy World· East Torch Lake Nursery
Flsher-Kootyshyn Studioo
Hair Force One • HAPN
l.&R True Value Hardware
Th e Medicine Shoppe
M unron Medical Center
Nagy Mortgage· NMC
Northern Express
NorthMed • NPI • Old Kent
Old Tow n Playh ouse
Peddler's Corners
Portfolio Performance A nalysis
RCPG • Social A ction Committee UUFGT
Women's Resou rce Center
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For sponsor form call: 616.933.0279
Helping You
Find Your Way
Home
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REALTORS'
M'Lynn Hartwell
Hard Working Agent
511 East Front Street
Traverse City, Ml 49684
616/444-4148
office 616/947-9800
- 18 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
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Friends Noiih ifnd Sidetraxx
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presents an evening of
wonderful people
excellent eats
disco dancing
Bump & grind your way to Friends North
Annual Fundraiser & Membership Drive
Frid aY:, Simpt~ m be r 2 5, 19 9 8
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- 19 - VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1998
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STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES
Michigan Wellness Networks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline ... ..... .............. 800-347-TEEN
Triangle Hate Crime Reporting ........ . .................. 888-442-9287
STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL / POLITICAL / MEDIA
The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 ............. 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning ................. P.O. Box 50729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005
616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 .......... . ... . ... . 616-345-7878
Affinnations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 ... . . . ... .... . . . . ........... . ..... 810-398-7105
http://www.webspace.com/-tcc/affinnations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 .. . ... . . . . . .. ....... . 517-332-3200
e-mail ... ... .. . . ..... . ... . ... . . ..... .... .. ... lahr@macatawa.org
Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 ..... ...... . . . .... 517-371 -5257
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit 48219 ................. 313-537-3323
................ . ... ... . .. .... . . ... .. .. ...... Fax: 313-537-3379
email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . trijeffm@aol.com
Between The Lines (newspaper/monthly) . ... ......... .. ... . 888-615-7003
20793 Fannington Rd #25, Farmington, Ml 48336
e-mail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pridepblis@aol.com
The Third Coast (magazine/monthly)
POB 7296, Grand Rapids, Ml 49510 .................... 616-248-9967
Michigan Pride, Inc. (Statewide Pride March organization)
P.O. Box 16191 , Lansing, Ml 48901 ..................... 517-371-3466
email .................................... pride@michiganpride.org
NATIONAL SERVICE I SOCIAL/ POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 ........ 202-638-4200
GLMD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 . ..... ... . .. .. . . . 212-807-1700
............................................. Fax: 212-807-1806
email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force .. . .. ... .. ....... . . .. . 202-332-648
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . ... . .... . Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund ... . . ..... 21 2-809-8585 x 205
120 Wall St., NY, NY 10005 ...... .. . ... ......... .. Fax: 212-890-0055
ACW Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 . . ... ....... . 415-621 -0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 . ....... ... 202-628-4160
.. . . ...... . ........... ... . . .. . .... ...... .. . .. Fax: 202-347-5323
email .......................................... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
101214th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 ........... 202-842-7679
GLSEN, Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network ............ 212-727-0135
1 21 West 27 Street Suite 804, NY, NY 10001 .... . .. . Fax: 212-727-0-254
LOCAL SPIRITUAL.
Rev. Geraldine Colvin
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile, Traverse City ......... .... . 616-938-9587
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ........ Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth .......... . .. 616-223-7999
Rev. Linda L. Wilson, Journey In Light Ministries ....... .. ... 616-271 -2529
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Petoskey ... . . ........ 616-347-8916
P.O. Box 873 Petoskey, Ml 49770
NE1WORKING 45° NORTH
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LOCAL COUNSELING:
Third Level Crisis Intervention, ................ . .... . ... .- . 616-922-4800
1022 E. Front St., TC, Ml 49686 .... . ....... .... .. . . and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ................ . ............. 616-941-1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHO ........... . ..................... 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHO (Frankfort/ Traverse City) ............... 616-352-4261
Margo Million,ACSW .................................. 616-947-0511
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTA, CHt ......................... 616-947 8842
Barbara Jones Smilh,..PHD ......... - ·· ...... -· ............... 616-947-1444
Bizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) ................... 616-439-0656
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) .. . ............... ....... . 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center ............. 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ................... . ....... 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHO, CSW ........... . .............. . . 906-635-9263
Lois Martindale, Ph.D., Benzonia ....... .. .. . ...... ....... 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City.: ... . ..... .. 929-1315 or 800-686-0749
LOCAL SERVICE I SOCIAL / POLITICAL
Friends North ~nfonnation line) . ..... ......... .......... . 616-946-1804
Common Voices - FIN Rap Group . .. .... .. . .... .... .. ... Tom-275-6127
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support GroupCall Third Level for location & time . . .. . ... 616-922-4800 or 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nite Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. ........... 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman ...... 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC ........ John 616-922-0746
. ... ... ...... . .... .......... . . ..... .. ...... ... jdevans@gtii.com
. .. ... ........... ... .. ......... . ..... . .... .. Hilda 616-938-1294
P-FLAG, Traverse City, POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 ..... Cindy 616-271-5045
GLSEN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Education Network)
PO Box 9, Traverse, Ml 49685 .. .................... ... 616-943-5050
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill ............ 616-938-1333
LOCAL HIV/AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks, GTA, Inc., ................... 616-947-1110
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 ............... . 1 -800-494-1160
Business Office ...... ... .... .. .. . .. .. .. . . .. ....... .. 616-933-0279
HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks - HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group ....... . ... ... 616-947-1110
Thomas Judd Care Center, 1211 W Front St., Traverse City,
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist .............. 616-935-8140
David Rushlow, ACSW Social Worker ................... 616-935-6385
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) ................ 1-800-248-6777
Community Health Clinic ............. ..... . . . .. . ........ 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
Northern Michigan Planned Parenthood ... . . ......... . .. ... 616-929-1844
(anonymous counseling & testing)
Grand Traverse County Health Department ..... .. .. . .... ... 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Emmet County Health Department (Petoskey) . .. . ......... .. 616-347-6014
Also call the District Health Department in your area
Amy Elena Cook, MSW CSW
affirming & confidential
counseling services
(616) 932-8699
104 S. Union, Suite 203
Traverse City, Ml 49684
VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 3 • JULY/AUGUST/SEITEMBER/OCTOBER 1998