LesbianPrideNewsletter_v5.no4.2000.04.pdf
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Volume V, #4 (52) April
© 2000 Makaw ~\
~~~
This Time, It's Personal
By Donna Red Wing
In many ways, marches are nothing new to those who have
spent time organizing for social justice and civil rights. In my younger
years, I marched for peace. As an adult, I organized a march across
the entire state of Oregon as part of the efforts to stop anti-gay bigotry
and discrimination. And I have marched on our nation's capitol with
hundreds of thousands of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people
and our allies.
I have spent my life fighting for what I believed was right. As
part of that fight, I have marched. And while my commitment to
social justice for our entire community has never wavered, never
before has my marching been so focused on my life and the love of
my life, Sumitra. This march is different. This time, it's profoundly
personal.
I began to seriously work on the issue of marriage in 1994, as the
national field director of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against
Defamation. I attended some of the first national marriage roundtables, working with extraordinary people like Evan Wolfson, Donald
Suggs, Jim Key, Billy Kahn and Sky Johnson. It was an issue that had,
for me, moved from the political to the personal.
A few years before, my partner Sumitra and I met a lesbian couple in
Oregon. I'll call them Annie and Carol. Together for 15
2.
years, they adored each other. They were older, smart and had the
means to develop - with their lawyers - power-of-attorneys, living
wills and all of the things we need to protect our rights because we
cannot legally marry.
One Memorial Day weekend they had driven their new camper
to the mountains. The day after they were to return home, Carol
called to say that Annie had died.
They had returned home, flush with the excitement of their
camping trip. Annie was in the shower. Carol was reading in bed. She
heard a crashing sound and ran into the bathroom to see that Annie
had fallen. She was unconscious.
The hospital refused to allow Carol to be with Annie. She was
not family, they said. While Carol was on the phone with her lawyers,
arranging for the paperwork to be delivered to the hospital, Annie
died. Alone.
The funeral home would not allow Carol to arrange the funeral.
Carol was forced to call Annie's ex-husband, who graciously
arranged the funeral that Carol dictated and paid for.
In 1995, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was dangerous
and incredibly frightening. The night before I was to be admitted to
the hospital could have been my last. I wanted to tell Sumitra all the
things I needed to tell her. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to spend
time with my dogs. And I wanted to savor the things and the people I
loved. None of us knew how I would, or even if I would, emerge from
surgery.
Instead, we spent that last night with our lawyer. I had to make
decisions about property. Sumitra had no rights as my family or
spouse. I had to decide, that night, when and if to stop life-saving
endeavors. I had to make decisions about my care. And the last thing
I had to decide was how to dispose of" the body," my body, if I died.
That night, in a most profound and visceral manner, I understood that I was, at best, a second-class citizen. And until Sumitra and
I had all of the rights and responsibilities o'f marriage, we would
continue to be treated as somehow less than.
Because I cannot marry the woman I love. Because Annie died
alone. Because our relationships are just as sacred and just as magical
as anyone else's, I am marching on Washington on April 30, 2000.
And I'll be marching with Sumitra.
DonnaRed Wing is the directorof the Gill Foundation'sOutGivingProject,
and co-chairof the MillenniumMarchon Washington'sboardof directors.
3.
9~ April Affirmations
I chose the things I want to believe in,
and I let others chose how they want to believe.
I value my freedom,
and I value the freedom of others.
by Stacy Chandler
ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 19)
A
R
I
E
S
re you eyeing Y2K or Everest?
ealizing that you want and need new goals?
nteresting choices are all around you now/
we shall push beyond all of your boundaries/
oon you'll discover stratospheric joy/*
*Be warned: The views expressed above
do not necessarily reflect the aura of the cosmos.
ISIAND LESIIAN CONNECTION
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I am strong enough in my beliefs that
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I love the strength within me.
What a strongpersonI havebecome!SometimesI wouldrather
forget the painand strugglethat havecontributedto my strength.
Sometimesthe homoplwbicworlddoesnot appreciatewlw I have
become.But hereI am -a powerful,determinedsurvivor!
I havetriumphedoveroppression,abuse,conflict,challenges- I
am truly amazing!Takinga longlookat myself,I seemy lovely
emotionalmuscles.My self-admirationis well-deserved.
I havemany
wonderfulqualities,but todayI especiallyappreciatemy strength.
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- Robyn Posinfrom Rememberings and Celebrations
Property of the Certer
The True Power of Allies
By JonathanZucker
To be successful, the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender
rights movement must learn from history. During the 1%Os, the civil
rights movement was made up of not only African-Americans, but
also white allies, perhaps most visibly as part of the freedom rides.
Unfortunately, too many people still view the movement for GLBT
civil rights as a small minority pushing its own self-serving agenda.
This is simply not true. As a straight man, I will be marching on April
30 to show my support for BGLT equality. Just as the civil rights
movement had its allies, so does the LGBT movement. But it is imperative that its allies be visible and outspoken. We must make it
perfectly clear that equality for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender
people is not simply a "special interest'' cause, but part of a larger,
universal quest for justice.
This quest for justice is not new, and it is not limited to the GLBT
community. Taped to the wall at my first family reunion was a long
piece of butcher paper with a carefully drawn family tree. My family
tree is like most any other, except that any branch of the family that
had not immigrated to the United States before 1930 was, with few
exceptions, exterminated. The town from which my family comes was
depopulated during World War II. Those who were not killed by the
Germans, were killed by the Russians and Ukrainians.
Atrocities like this do not occur in a vacuum - they are allowed,
even encouraged, to happen. The majority must, at a minimum, stand
silently by and watch while the rights of a few are abused or denied.
This profound silence is, for me, the most salient characteristic of the
Holocaust. As Elie Wiesel put it, "Neutrality helps the oppressor,
never the victim. Silence encourages the tom1entor, never the
tormented." I knew from an early age that I could not stay silent in
the face of oppression.
I attended a very progressive high school. We studied- and
were taught to condemn - racism, sexism, xenophobia and religious
intolerance. However, we never discussed homophobia or the then
20-year-old modern BGLT rights movement. When I went to college, I
was exposed to the LGBT rights movement and, over the course of
four years, came to understand the pervasive power of homophobia
and hetetosexism, and the closet they create. I learned that discrim-
6.
ination in the workplace is, in most places, perfectlylegal and the
incredible burden that GLBT couples bear simply because they cannot
be married. I witnessed the scourge of HN and AIDS, the backlash
against marriage rights, horrific and brutal hate crimes and a "Don't
Ask, Don't Tell" policy in the military that has resulted in record
numbers of witch hunts and discharges. And most of America has
stood idly by.
Homophobia is deeply rooted in our culture and our laws.
Where cultural acceptance and tolerance of racism, anti-Semitism and
sexism have fallen into public disfavor, most people still remain silent
as the bisexual, gay, lesbian and transgender community is denigrated and discriminated against. In recent years, BGLTactivists have
made strides that three decades ago would have been thought
unimaginable. However, where polls show that support of basic civil
rights has climbed above 50 percent, that same majority still stands
idly by as LGBT people are disempowered by constant harassment
and derision.
I'll be marching on April 30th because I believe that it is vital
that we stand together to resist oppression. Just as it is important for
GLBT people to come out of the closet, allies must come out in
support of queer rights. Allies must play an important, visible and
meaningful part in the pursuit of equality and justice for the gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.
.
.
JonathanZucker,formerly of And JusticeForAll and TI,eInterfa1tl1
A~lmnce,
is currentlyafield organizerforthe Millennium Marchon Waslungton.
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Rememberings and Celebrations, a 64-card deck of
Loving Reminders of the Great Mothers Voice
available through Robyn Posin Box 725, Ojai, CA 93024
(805-646-4518)
www .forthelittleonesinside.com
LAVENDER REFLECTIONS by Eleanor Ruth Wagner
A book of affirmations for lesbians and gay men.
Meditations & quotations with photos & holiday entries.
Great gift for yourself and for those you love.
Personally autographed by request; $10.95 ppd. from author:
5529 Vernon Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55436
by LEELyNcl-t
TACKY, TACKY
Last year I was poking around an antique shop in town looking
for a gift when I saw it.
High on a shelf, fire-engine red, unlovely, forgotten - the red cat.
I turned away, appalled. How could anyone create such a tasteless
insult to feline beauty? Yet my eyes were drawn back again and again
from the flower-patterned chamber pots, the iron door stops, the
huddles of blue glass on old maple highboys. I bought the red cat.
If I'd left that red cat behind, life as I knew it would have gone
on. Instead, I set it on a shelf and grew to love the thing. How many
more objets de non-art out there depicted cats? Wouldn't it be fun to
have a Tacky Cat Collection?
Poor Lover. How was she to know when we got together that
my addictive nature would take this form? How was I to know?
For a while I hit that same shop monthly. Then I branched out to
another a few miles away. (I didn't want anyone to know I was out of
control.) Bingo, another kitty collectable.
Meanwhile, Lover, inadvertently and to her subsequent dismay,
thought to please me with little surprises from her favorite antique
shop. Every time she stopped she'd bring home another deliciously
tacky cat. Except they weren't so tacky any more. They'd become too
appealing.
Maybe, I decided, it's the concept of collecting cat figurines that's
tacky. I remember all the old women of my childhood who set porcelain figurines of clowns and birds and children on doilies and inside
glass cabinets. Or women of my generation with our political pins or
crystals or stuffed animals. Ah, I'm just a late-blooming collector.
Except for old books, that is. And mini toy vehicles. And In any case, once I received Lover's unintentional blessing, I was
~
lost. Anything was fair game. I now have a Cheshire
Cat grinning from the bathroom wall, a crouching
blue-eyed kitty under the chair by the hearth,
several figurines prancing across my dresser, a cat
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clock on my desk, a shelf of miniatures and several more shelves of
wood, glass, porcelain, ceramic and It's been a challenging year. Not to find all the little guys, but to
do anything but look for them. The temptations go well beyond
antique shops. As a matter of fact I stay out of those - they're way
overpriced. We went with friends to a junk shop up north and one of
them proudly revealed her find for me - a homemade, two foot,
sitting, putrid green cat. It was truly tacky and resides next to the
roly-poly paper mache tuxedoed cat who's adorned with a rhinestone
tie pin and cigar. People are weird.
Weird enough to think anyone would bid for such items in
online auctions. But the prices! The oddities! The adorabilty quotient!
I am convinced that I single-handedly drove up the price of cat
figurines within a month of discovering e-bay. Partly because I didn't
understand how some auctions worked. In between bidding on cat
statuettes I managed to purchase a new computer by mistake.
Luckily, it was a good deal.
Soon, what with increasing numbers of gifts and exciting finds, I
began to run out of shelving - and floor space - and windowsills and bookshelves. Lover suggested I purchase a CD case, one of those
stand up jobs with multiple shelves. That soon filled up.
Then an e-bay auction yielded the first three miniaturesdefinitely the cutest doodads I've ever seen with their pastel painted
clothing and tiny detailing. This was the answer to the space problem!
I'd only collect miniature domestic felines. But alas, other compulsives
happened on that solution. Miniature cats are difficult to find and
fiercely bid on at the auction sites. It's hard to win an auction when,
like me, the buyer has a three dollar price ceiling. I found new
miniatures in a gift shop in New Hampshire last fall tl1at were a better
buy. And, after an extensive wrapping session, flew them home.
Then last weekend, when I was buying some fabric at Wal-Mart
(we don't have a fabric store nearby), I passed the button rack. There
was a pair of cat-shaped buttons. They were smaller than the smallest
figurines. They were hand-painted. They were under $3.00.
In the blink of an eye, I had a new fever. I'd micro-specialize!
Kitty buttons don't take up much space at all. If I avoid brass and
pewter, fabric-covered and large, I'll reclaim that feeling of being
challenged and we won't be crowded out of our house. If I can learn
to resist every red, and putrid green, and pastel cat figurine I see. But
- will buttons be tacky enough?
© Lee Lynch 1999
9.
Do You Know About ... ?
The GAY GAMES
I Won't Stay Home Again
by Ellen DeGeneres
I remember watching the '93 March on Washington on TV and
crying because I couldn't be there. I watched thousands of people
who were proud of who they were and I cried because I wasn't
proud. I was struggling to be proud, but fearful of losing my career.
Everything I ·worked so hard for could be taken away simply for
being proud of who I am.
My decision to stop that shame - to stop rationalizing why I
didn't need to come out - was the most important decision I've ever
made. \i\ThatI thought was such a tremendous risk has taken me on a
spiritual journey I would've never experienced otherwise.
While sitting through the '93 March - closeted and alone - was
an awful experience, nothing has devastated me more than the
vicious and hateful murder of Matthew Shepard.
His death continues to have a profound impact on my life, and
the lives of so many others. In the presence of so much hate and
violence, it seems impossible to imagine staying on the sidelines. In
spite of a horrific loss, Matthew's parents, Dennis and Judy Shepard,
have become outspoken and powerful advocates for non-violence,
tolerance and love.
If the Shepards can find the strength to come out and speak out,
we all must find it within ourselves to do the same. I'll be there with
my family because I don't want to lose any more. I don't want us to
lose our jobs, just because of who we love. I don't want to lose any
more Matthew Shepards to anti-gay hate crimes. I don't want to lose
any more of our youth to suicide.
I've learned that truth and love are all that matters. I have tremendous compassion for those who can't, for whatever reason, join
us in our celebration. Being a part of this will be my biggest celebration of coming out. I'll get to celebrate with thousands and
thousands of people who, for that one day, are surrounded by love
and support and pride.
I won't stay home again. We live in a world that would rather
not see us - that day in Washington we will be seen. We will stand up
and be counted. I'll be at the Millennium March on April 30th to
make a statement, and a difference. I hope you'll be there, too.
The Gay Games, conceived by Dr. Tom Wadell, an Olympic
decathlete, were first held in San Francisco in 1982 with 1,300
participants. Subsequent Gay Games were held in San Francisco
(1986; 3,000 participants), Vancouver (1990; 7,000 participants), New
York (1994; 11,000 participants), and Amsterdam (1998; 14,000
participants). About 14,000 participants are expected to travel to
Sydney in 2002 for Gay Games VI
Do You Know About ... ?
LESBIAN CAUCUS INSTITUTE
The Lesbian Caucus of the National Women's Studies Association (NWSA) is pleased to announce a one day "Dana Shugar
Lesbian Studies Institute." Entitled "Lesbians Then and Now,
Diversity, Visibility and Struggle," the event will take place at
Simmons College, Boston, Saturday June 17, as part of the NWSA
Annual Conference, June 14-18, 2000
The Institute is sponsored by Subaru of America, GAY.COM,
NWSA, and the Lesbian Caucus. Plenary speakers are Joan Garry
from the Gay Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), Willa
Taylor, Activist and former Chair of the National Black Lesbian and
Gay Leadership Forum (NBLGLF),and Bette Tallen, NWSA GC
Board member and member of the Jewish and Lesbian Caucuses.
The Institute will feature thirty five workshops, panels and
presentations; topics will include aging and agism; teaching lesbian
culture; analysis of les,bian fiction as social science; butch/ femme and
trans-con~ted identi~es; lesbian erasure and the politics of language;
homophobia, censorship and family values; and, the politics of
women doing drag. The lunch time keynote address "Academics v.
Activists- Can't We Get Along?" will be by veteran activists Del
Martin and Phyllis Lyon. Comedienne Karen Williams will be
performing Friday night for a joint fund raising event to benefit the
Women of Color Caucus and the Lesbian Caucus.
More information is available at Error! Bookmark not defined.
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1 1.
Prophetic Voices of the New Millennium
by RevernedIreneMonroe
As lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people entering the
new millennium, the queer imperative calls for our prophetic voices
in the same ma~er the civil rights movement in this country called
for the prophetic voices of African Americans. Our queerness is a call
for social justice, not only here in the U.S., but throughout the world.
As an African-American Christian minister and theologian, I
knov,; that the struggle against racism is only legitimate if I am also
fighting anti-Semitism, homophobia, sexism and classism. I know that
all of these "isms" are merely tools of oppressions which will continue to keep us fractured instead of united toward a common goal.
Our common goal as lesbian, gay, bisexual.and transgender
people should be about creating a multicultural society so that no one
is left behind, and every voice is lifted up. As we marshal in a new
century and a new millennium, the Millennium March on Washington for Equality is helping us marshal in a new vision of social justice
that is bound by faith, commitment and social action.
In 1998,Americans got to see its "haterati" or hate mongers at
the ugliest. The country saw the worse form of social intolerance and
hate crimes since the 1950s with the McCarthy witch hunts, and the
lynching of 14-year-old, African-American Emmett Till of Chicago.
When James Byrd Jr., 49, was chained to the back of a pick-up
truck and dragged by his ankles to his death because he was black,
and 21-year-old Matthew Shepard was bludgeoned and then tethered
to a rough-hewn wooden fence like a hunting trophy because he was
gay, America got to see how hate crimes in this country spare no one
who is deemed as different.
The Millennium March on Washington is about all of us who are
deemed as different. The Millennium March on Washington is about
letting America see the faces and hear the voices of the damned, the
disinherited, the disrespected and the dispossessed. The March calls
us as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people to rally our vote
in this upcoming presidential election so that we can be part of a
participatory government that is feverishly working to dismantle tl1e
existing discriminatory laws that truncate full participation in the
fight to advance democracy.
Our queerness is a prophetic, God-given call for justice in the
world. The Millennium March on Washington is the rallying cry to
step forward and be counted.
_S y'ssolutions
ass IL'•
forSuccessfu
IVlng
Dear Sassy,
Having just returned from Mexico, and having had a burrito
(the musical fruit) for lunch, I now have four more hours of flight
time ahead of me. Should I (A) ask everyone near me to pull my
finger?; (B) ask the stew to lower all oxygen masks around me?;
or (C) panhandle all passengers for TUMS?
Signed, Stinky
Dear Stinky, Please ask your attendant for antacid tablets, and see if there
are any unoccupied seats in the rear of the aircraft. Be extra
humane and visit the toilet frequently.
- Sassy
Dear Sassy,
Why are most opera singers rotund?
Signed, Chirp
Dear Chirp,
Some will suggest that it's because they want to be more
orotund. I think it's because they ingest too many calories and
don't get enough exercise.
- Sassy
If you are in need of some Sassy Solutions for Successful Living, send
your questions to Sassy, % Makaw, PO Box 5812, Denver, CO 80217
This month's Sassy Solutions for Successful Living by Stacy Chandler.
It' Urev~ deed, t'o-for<Ja evpoor joke.✓•
13ve,n,da.,n,13vcu::.k.ert,
Rev. Ire11eMo11roe is n doctoral stude11t at tire Han•nrd DivinihJ Scl,ool a11da member
Marci, 011 Wasl1ingto11 Board of Directors.
of tire Mille1111i11111
13
Property of the Center
UPCOMING EVi:.N1 S
12th
April 20-24,
Annual Gulf Coast Womyn's Festival, Camp Sister Spirit in
Ovett, MS; GCWF, Box 12-LP, Ovet, MS 39464
601-3441411
sisterspir@aol.com
L~r~Newiletteris
a great gift for someone you care
SubJcrtbe,tv-cu:y;f
about ... and it's a great gift for yourself!
Okay, please send the items marked b-elow to:
Memorial Weekend 2000, SOUTHERN WOMYN'S FESTIVAL, SWF,
Docuspace, PO Box 262, Macclenny, FL 32063
Gaywomyn@aol.com
Name
June 11 - 30 LESBIAN LIVES IN MEXICO
For all women interested in studying Spanish while learning about lesbian life
in Mexico today. Cetlalic@mail.gigi.com or www.giga.com/-cetlalic
June 22-25, National Women's Music Festival, Ball State University in
Muncie, IN (all indoors), NWMF, PO Box 1427, Indianapolis, IN 46206
317-927-9355 www.a1.com.wia (that's a number 1)
June 22-25, Golden Threads Celebration, Provincetown, MA; Goldren
Threads, PO Box 65, Richford, VT 05476 802-848-8002
GOLDENTRED@aol.com
August 8-13, 25111Annuak Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, Hart, Ml;
WNTMC, PO Box 22, Walhalla, Ml 49458
231-757-4766
Address
□
□
□
GAY GAMES, Sydney, Austrailia, Oct 25 - Nov 9, 2002
□
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□
□
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The Feel Good Monthly (like LPN but for your nongay friends); it's a monthly publication of good news,
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LesbianPride Newsletter 1999 Collection
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On the Bright Side Collection
Free copy of The Feel Good Monthly
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