Networking45North_v10.no2.1996.03-04.pdf
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- Networking45North_v10.no2.1996.03-04.pdf
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F, o ..,erty of the Cent~r
THE NEWSLETTER OF_._,.f.R)iNOO@;;~·~~-~- INC.,
an association of lesbians, gay men , bi-sexuals and their friends.
R
N
VOLUME
TRAVERSE CITY HUMAN RIGHTS
COMMISSION SEEKS POLICY CHANGE
At the February meeting of the Traverse City Human Rights
Commission (HRC) a motion was made to move forward with a
request that the City of Traverse City add the words "Sexual
Orientation" to their internal city personnel anti-discrimination
policy. If added, this would mean that a person working for the City
of Traverse City could not be discriminated against on the basis of
their "sexual orientation."
Carol Anderson and Pam Haley are heading the committee
representing the HRC, to move forward with this motion.
They are asking for your assistance with this issue. If you work
for agencies or companies that already have "sexual orientation" in
their internal personnel policies, or if you are currently living or
working in the Traverse City area and are willing to write a letter of
support to the Traverse City City Commission, please send these items
to the address below.
They will try to let you know when this request will come before
the City Commission in the event you would like to be at that meeting.
Please remember when writing your letters that they are only
seeking to change internal city personnel policy and nothing else at
this time. Send letters or policies to:
Traverse City Human Rights Commission
c/o City Personnel Office
400 Boardman
Traverse City, Ml 49684
Attention: Pam Haley or Carol Anderson
MICHIGAN PRIDE CELEBRATIONS
ANNOUNCED
LANSING: June 21-23-Set aside this weekend for all the
activities surrounding the largest Michigan Pride gathering ever.
Although negotiations are not yet settled, a concert, a street fair,
a commitment ceremony and a parade are in the works. For
further information will be published in the next issue of
Networking 45° North.
GRAND RAPIDS: Saturday, June 15, 4 p.m.
10
•
N
K
ISSUE
2
•
March
•
April
G
•
1996
1996 CALENDAR OF EVENTS
April 21 - Spring High Tea
2:00 - 5:00 p.m.
Traverse City Opera House
Refreshments
Membership Drive/Socialize/Network
June 15- F/N Pride Picnic Celebration
Location to be announced
June 21-23 - Pride Celebration in Lansing
July 9 - Bed Race, TC Cherry Festival
July 26-28, Friends North Bike Tour
Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore
September - Autumn Hike and Dinner
(date and location to be announced)
October 11 - National Coming Out Day
Celebration to be announced
October 10-13, Wellness AIDS Quilt Trip to
Washington D.C.
Call Tom at 947-4647 for details
October 25-27, 2nd Annual Gay & Lesbian
History & Education Conference
Sugar Loaf Resort
December 3 - Friends North Annual Meeting
Unitarian Universalist Church - Traverse City
Mark your calendars now so you won't miss any of the events.
Details will be published in future issues of Networking 45°
North as the events approach. For more information call 9461804.
"I donr mindstraightpeople as long as they actgay in public. ._T-shirt worn by Chicago Bulls player Dennis Rodman during a network-TVinterview.
Richard Tuxbury
Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562 (616)
946-1804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N
information.)
FROM THE EDITOR
Gay marriage is out of the closet. Do you
remember a few months ago when we
talked about the fact that same-sex
marriage was going to get a lot of press in
the upcoming year? In this short, six-week
period, every major paper in the country,
and most minor ones, have had something to say about the issue. We
were told to prepare ourselves for civilized debate with a public that
was both receptive and objective.
Nothing of the sort occurred. The subject inarguably became the
hottest, most controversial topic in today's race for the Republican
nomination. Most of the candidates, besides Buchanan, would
choose not to alienate gays and lesbians, as was seen by Dole's
thousand- dollar blunder with the Log Cabin Club. However, the
Christian Coalition and Colorado for Family Values pushed the issue
into the faces of all the candidates, and under this pressure and
incredible media scrutiny, almost all the candidates buckled under.
The result was a major show of Republican cowardice and prejudice,
as they bowed to the powerful and demanding Religious Right.
The climax came with the Anti-Gay Marriage Rally, held in Des
Moines just before the primary caucus was held in Iowa. Many
candidates attended, and the rest sent letters of support. As one
journalist described this event, "it was a blood-fest of gay bashing."
This rally produced a Marriage Resolution, and would seem to
contradict itself. It describes marriage as a "special sanction" that is
reserved for heterosexual couples. The anti-gay Religious Right has said
a lot about "special rights" over the last few years. They discount gay
people's claims for equal access to justice (the right to legal recourse
when discriminated against) as a "special right" and therefore we
should not be entitled to it. By their own admission, marriage is now
seen as a "special right" and they have decided that it should be
"reserved" for one group of people, in this case, it is the heterosexuals.
Candidate Buchanan signed the resolution even after declaring
that "no special rights should attain to anyone because of what they
do in their bedrooms." Now, isn't that straight marriage?
Many of the states, mostly in the w~st and central U.S., have had
proposals put in front of their legislatures regarding the marriage
issue. These would ban the recognition of same-sex marriages in their
states, if indeed another state went ahead and sanctioned the
marriage. At last count, there were maybe 8 or 1 0 states that had
brought up this subject, and the bills are in various stages of
consideration. However, South Dakota and Utah have already rushed
to pass these laws. None of the laws have been tested in a court.
Since gays and lesbians have become the 'whipping boy' of
choice by the Right (and almost all of the Republican candidates have
gotten in a lick or two) let's see if their strategy is successful or not. How
much intolerance and blatant discrimination can average, straight
Americans listen to before they stand up for us and what is right?
Buchanan and the like are betting that most Americans don't give
a damn about us. They're placing all their bets that the majority of
voting Americans are selfish, stupid, and bigoted, and that they can
be manipulated by shallow rhetoric ... well, are you getting nervous
yet? We all have reason to be.
FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals and
their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. Located in Traverse
City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
and a community needs fund for financial assistance.
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine
women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are
held at Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall, Room 2 in the
cafeteria the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. Everyone is
welcome to attend.
Greg Baird
Victor Dinsmore-secretary M'Lynn Hartwell
Jim Ingelson-president
Tom Kincaid
Carol Lambertson-VP
Julie Parker
Jim Poole
Scott Southwell-treasurer
Networking 45° North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, MI 49685-0562
NEWSLITfER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45° North.
Editor:
Publishing & Layout
Advertising:
Mailing List
Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tuxO 0 1@ aol. com
Richard Curtis: 929-9605
or e-mail: rcurtis695@aol.com
Jim Carruthers: 922-7768
John Evans: 922-0746
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. Viewpoints
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or general
membership.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. Please
submit in writing orby calling the editor (and leave ad on machine 2713042 or by email.)
DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in Business
Card size - $25.00 per space per issue or an annual rate of $120.00 for
6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please call
'advertising' for rates.
SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800 postcards
for Networking 45°North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part of this, and
to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. Letters, essays, features,
reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" to above
address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist,
discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for
obtaining permission from those w!lose names they submit for
publication.)
DEADLINES: Issue #3-April 15; Issue #4-June 15; Issue #5-August
15; Issue #6-0ctober 15.
ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is coming.
Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes to our address.
SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $15.00/single; $25.00/couple. Please
send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse
City, MI 49685-0562.
DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies are sent
bulk-mail in a plain envelope to approximately 700 households.
Additional copies are available at select local establishments. Our
mailing list is not sold or traded with other organizations.
D
From the Editor (continued next page)
printed on recycled paper
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
2
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
,,
From the Editor (continued)
Jim lngleson
y
a chance to have something positive come from
Kevin's sudden death. I will continue collecting
information and submit an article for a future
newsletter. Anyone who would like to help or
has reactions contact me through Friends North.
This reminds me of my response to the
phrase "The Gay Lifestyle." What I see and feel is life-just like
everyone around us. It is not a style, it is a life, a life filled with
happiness and sorrows, good days and bad... But most
importantly, it finds us unprotected by the laws that protect all
other tax paying U.S. citizens ... With Kevin's death I suddenly
didn't exist where the laws were concerned. Luckily his family's
love for us and support has helped me to care for his wishes and
his life in the ways he would have wanted.
We must continue the struggle to be recognized and allowed
to protect our lives. First Big Step-voting in the November
election. The Pat Bucannans of the world would like laws passed
to prevent passage of any laws to grant us the basic rights we
presently do not have ... scary thought... every vote counts!
Jim lngleson
January was a sad month for Traverse City and the community of
Friends North. We lost Kevin Wolf in a car accident. Kevin was a
dynamic and beautiful young man of 27, and he will be missed by
everyone who met him. No words can express to Kevin's partner, and
our Friends North president, Jim lngleson, how we grieve for him. We
have reprinted Kevin's obituary from the Record Eagle elsewhere in
this issue.
y
y
Thanks go to Liz, my talented friend and colleague, for her
inspiration on the new look to our front page. For those of you who
don't know, this part of the paper is called a 'flag.' (And who would
know this?)
,,
T
y
I have come across a remarkable person, online, in the last few
months. His name is Bill Stosine, and you might remember him as a
consistent letter writer to the Record-Eagle. Actually, Bill is from Iowa
City, Iowa, and contributes to many papers around the country. He
spends much of his time compiling articles that are of interest to the
gay and lesbian community, reading many national newspapers and
magazines. We can attribute a number of the stories in this issue to
him. Thanks for all the hard work, Bill. (He can be found online at
BCS4 l@aol.com.)
FRIENDS NORTH SPONSORS
"THIS WAY OUT"
Gretchen Sauvage
The national gay and lesbian radio news magazine This Way Out
which airs every Sunday evening at 7:30 on WNMC 90.9 FM is now
sponsored by Friends North. Get news about events that effect the gay
community around the world and around the nation. Hear interviews
with gay leaders, authors, entertainers and people shaping the future
of how gay life is viewed. All this comes to you in the half hour series.
If you would like to help continue the airing of This Way Out
send a donation to Friends North earmarked for This Way Out. If you
want to help continue the existence of the program This Way Out
become a weekly listener.
For those of you out of range of WNMC, don't despair. WNMC
has the paperwork grinding through the FCC to increase their range
to about a 40 mile radius.
To quote the staff of This Way Out, "An informed community is
a strong community." So start to become part of our strong
community, listen to This Way Out!
FROM THE PRESIDENT
I have been so overwhelmed by all the love and support I
have received from so many members of our community during
this most difficult time ... the past six weeks has taught me a lot
about life as a gay man. On January 12, 1996, Kevin Wolf, my
partner, of what I had felt would be the rest of my life, was killed
in a car accident. I am very lucky because our families valued and
respected our relationship and understood who we were to each
other.
Shortly after his death, his cousin, who works at Munson
Medical Center, was approached about talking to his family about
organ donations. He said he would be glad to speak to the family
and questioned what information he needed to ask. One of the
questions was whether Kevin had had any gay relationships.
When the response was yes, and that his partner was in the
waiting room, the organ and tissue representative said there was
no need to go any further. Kevin was 27 years old and had just
received perfect results from his yearly physical; everything was
great ... but they did not even ask, just walked away.
I also have found similar responses from the offices I
contacted on both the state and national levels - that as gay
people our organs are not considered even though at present,
there are 30,000 people waiting on the kidney list alone.
When informed later, I was heart broken, and with our
families was shocked and so saddened by what would have been
NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH
Bay
Office: (616) 941-5748
Business
Services
Inc.
ANDREW L. MITCHELL
Accounting & Tax Service
810-B South Garfield Ave• Traverse City, Ml 49686
3
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
Outin
"Her message is clear and intense; felt right to the bone and deep
into the heart. She has been bringing blatant lesbianism into the lives
of lesbians and anyone else who is interested in knowing why
Lavender Jane really loves womyn or knowing how to successfully
manage love, politics, and chew lesbian culture all at the same
time."-San Diego Lesbian Press.
Alix will begin her performance at 8:00 pm. A cover donation
will be sliding-scale from $5-$10. Get set to laugh and cry and
sway and sigh! This will be a night that Northwest Michigan
lesbians won't soon forget.
+About
A Lesbian Coffeehouse
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
Call 946-2708 for more information
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse has some very fine and
very exciting upcoming events to announce. We cordially invite
everyone who has ever attended a coffeehouse to return and extend
a hearty invitation to those lesbians who have yet to cross our
threshold for our special events planned for March and April.
In March, to tie in with the national proclamation of March as
Women's History Month, we have arranged to present "The Second
Coming of Joan of Arc" by Carolyn Gage, an Oregon playwright. This
is a two act stage play based on the actual trial transcripts of Joan of
Arc, recorded during her witchcraft and heresy trial in 1430-31 CE
(common era). Performer phoenix Hummel will bring Joan to life by
addressing the historical facts of Joan's still-contemporary problems
and her passionate love of women.
This play will be brought to the Out 'n About Lesbian
Coffeehouse stage on Saturday, March 16. The production will begin
at 7:30 pm. Coffee, soft drinks and snacks will be served prior to the
performance, during intermission and after. A cover donation of $5
is suggested (more if you can).
On Saturday, April 20, we proudly present musician and singer
Alix Dobkin. She is a leader, a mover and shaker, and a sustainable
resource for the genre of Womyn's music, having been "out" on
stages around the world and in our own backyard (Ml Womyn's
Music Festival) since the mid-70's. Alix is a well-respected and muchloved Dyke who has shared herself and her experiences through her
music, from the times when many of us had only those early album
covers to hold. She still has much to sing and say for those of us who
remember the earliest years of lesbian visibility, but she has also
much to share for lesbians who are just taking their places on the
"time line" of our lesbian future.
Out n' About Lesbian Coffeehouse is held on the third Saturday of
each month except August and December. The Coffeehouse comes
alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 pm at the Unity Church, 3600 Five
Mile Road, Traverse City. Smoke-free and Chem-free with a cover
donation of $3 ($5-$10 if we have entertainment). Coffee, tea and
snacks are free; soft drinks are available.
For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
About Lesbian Coffeehouse mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708leave message. (Please note this telephone number is for Coffeehouse
information only. If you have other questions or needs, please call
Friends North at 946-1804.)
THE NAMES PROJECT
AIDS MEMORIAL QUILT
-WASlllNGTON D.C. OCTOBER
502 E. Eighth St.• 616•947-1965
AIDS Quilt Trip
208 Circle Drive, Apt. C
Traverse City, Ml 49684
Please make checks payable to Wellness Networks
For scholarship information please call
Wellness Networks at 616-933-0279
COPIES • PRINTING • SHIPPING • FAX
OPENING MARCH, 1996
Joann Ewin & Brian Bensett
NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH
10 THRU OCTOBER 14, 1996
On the weekend of October 11-13, 1996, hundreds of thousands
of people will converge on our nation's capitol to participate in the
largest AIDS awareness event in history. Just weeks before the
Presidential and Congressional elections, the NAMES Project has
planned a full weekend of activities designed to ensure that AIDS is
made a top priority on our nation's agenda.
As 45,000 AIDS Memorial Quilt panels-15 city blocks of
fabric-are unfolded, the names of the dead will ring out over the
open expanse of the National Mall. Over the course of the weekend,
volunteers will read more than 70,000 names from the Quilt, more
names than appear on the nearby Vietnam War Memorial. Please join
us for this memorable event. Together we can make a difference.
From Traverse City you are invited to join us on a Deluxe Motor
Coach which will depart on Thursday afternoon, October 10th and
will arrive back in Traverse City on Sunday afternoon, October 14th,
1996. Your cost is only $175.00 per person-quadruple room
occupancy, which includes motor coach trip and two nights lodging
at the Holiday Inn Capitol-seven blocks from the display.
For reservations and information contact:
Tom Kincaid at 616-947-4647 or send a $75.00 deposit to:
4
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
MESSAGES FROM CINDY
Cindy Robb,
reprinted from the Feburary P-FLAG Newsletter
February is already proving to be a busy month !! I do hope you will
plan to attend this month's meeting. Legal issues is the focus. Dean will be
looking at comparisons between the Blacl<civil rights movement and G/L
civil rights. He will fill us in on some of the tactics that proved to be
successful and how we might modify and use them today. Thom will
address employment law, and Kirk will look at the right to marry and there
may be discussion on how to best protect yourself if you're in a committed
G/1.. relationship (wills, insurance, etc.) Bring all your questions because
none of the lawyers will be charging an hourly rate!!!!
PFLAG has been invited to the White House ! All the mom's and dad's
going to Washington for ENDA on March 19 have been invited to a
reception to be hosted by Tipper Gore ! PLEASE contact me as soon as
possible if you are interested in going, I have all the information. Michigan
is still one of the few states not firmly committed to attend. I wish I were
going but I will be on a plane headed elsewhere with my family.
Ijust returned home from Virginia Beach where I attended a meeting
hosted by Dr. Mel White author of "Stranger at the Gate". He launched
a petition drive to plead with Pat Robertson to stop his anti-G/L talk on
his 700 club program. He has monitored the 700 club for the past nine
months and played a 35-minute video of all the anti-G/L untruths. I have
transcripts of the video and as soon as Mel's attorney's clear the legal
path he'll send us a copy of the video! It is simply unbelievable the way
Pat Robertson lumps our children together with child molesters, drug
dealers, Nazi's, and other unspeakables, to create a climate of fear and
hate so strong that people send him zillions of dollars to keep them safe
here and assure them a seat on the bus to heaven. Mel White and his
partner Gary have committed a year of their life as well as their savings
to stop the destructive, untruths being perpetuated out of certain
evangelists. I have complete admiration and respect for Mel and Gary
and can't promise anything yet but I'm hoping to bring them to Traverse
City. If they accept, I'm going to need tons of help !!
It will be big. We do have acceptance from Gershen Kaufman and
Lev Raphael !! PFLAG, Friends North, and Out and About Lesbian
Coffee House are sponsoring a "Coming out of Shame" workshop May
4 & 5. It is definitely happening and the tuition is not etched in stone
yet but we think we can do it for around $25.00 !
Lev and Gersh are not only Ph.D .. professors at Michigan State
University, authors of the newly hot book "Coming out of Shame", but
they are the coolest, most lovable, sensitive, human beings I've met in
a long time. The workshop will be limited to 35 people so if you plan
to attend ... DON'T WAIT. You can sign up at this months meeting!
This month holds Valentines Day!!! My greatest hope for us all is
that our lives are filled with the love of family and friends I There are
times as parents and friends that fears and striving to understand the
world get in the way of our love. It is important to remember we are all
standing on different rungs on the ladder of life and the view is never
exactly the same. If we can understand that, we can respect our
differences. If you have understanding and respect, you have love.
Love, Cindy
Shame Workshop Planned
Friends North, P-FLAG and Out n' About Lesbian Coffeehouse
are pleased to announce that shame experts Gershen Kaufman and
Lev Raphael will conduct a workshop on shame for gays', lesbians,
their families and friends in Leland on May 4-5 (Saturday evening and
all day Sunday).
Cost is $25, which includes a lunch on Sunday. The workshop
will be held at the Art Building in Leland on E. Cedar Street near the
Leland Library.
Space is limited to 40 participants, so please pre-register as soon
as possible using the form below. There will be no registration at the
workshop. The deadline for registration is April 1. If there is an overregistration, a second workshop may be held in the fall. Confirmation,
a map, and details about exact times will be mailed to you. If there is
over-registration, your check will be returned.
For more information, call Carol at 616-929-7476
-------------------7
1 WORKSHOP REGISTRATION FORM
Name _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Address _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
BANKERS LIFE AND CASUALTY COMPANY
St _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Zip _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
A Trusted Name In Insurance
For Over 100 Years
Day Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Evening Phone _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Long Term Care • Medicare Supplement
Income Replacement • Home Health Care
Annuity • Health • Life
814 S. Garfield Ave. Suite C
Traverse City, MI 49684
(616) 947-4390
S-5205
NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH
Please include check for $25 per person made out to Friends North.
Mail completed registration form to:
Workshop
Friends North
P.O. Box 562
Traverse City, Ml 49685-0562
LINDA L. WIKLE
Agent
L-------------------~
s
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
Contributions
All she did by saying what she did was turn the focus on her
instead of hearing what a panel of gays and lesbians were saying about
their experience.
That is, I think, what white gays and lesbians do when the subject
is racism and we say the experience of blacks and other minority
groups is the same as ours.
Our experience may be similar in some ways, but not the same.
We gays and lesbians owe a lot to the civil rights struggles of all
minority groups. We can learn a lot to empower ourselves by learning
more about the history of African Americans, Jews, Latinos and Native
Americans.
But it is important, especially as a white, to resist the temptation to
claim the struggle of other minorities as my own. I still enjoy white
privilege and can still "pass" if I chose.
I can read. I can inform myself. I can try to understand, but I simply
cannot know on a psychological-historical-cu(tural level what Black
people have been through over generations of living with white
supremacy, how this experience of oppression and suppression has
affected African Americans as individuals and as communities.
For me to say that my experience is the same as that of African
Americans is to not understand anything about racism in our country
and how I unknowingly participate in white supremacy.
Having said all that, I would just like to make mention of one
African American-bell hooks-who through writing about her
experience as a Black woman trying to survive in a system of white
supremacy, has helped me understand how I, as a lesbian, have
survived and what I repressed to do it.
I owe a lot to her "truth-telling."
"Commitment to truth-telling is ... the first step in the process of
self-recovery," she writes in her book "Sisters of the Yam." "A culture
of domination is necessarily a culture where lying is an acceptable
social norm. It is, in fact, required. White folks knew that they were
lying about African slaves who labored from sun-up to sundown when
they then told the world that those same slaves were lazy. White
supremacy has always relied upon a structure of deceit to perpetuate
degrading racial stereotypes, myths that Black people were inferior,
more "animalist." Within the colonizing process, Black people were
socialized to believe that survival was possible only if they learned how
to deceive. And indeed, this was often the case."
One of the problems I personally have since coming out publicly
is accessing some of my memories of growing up in a homophobic
culture. It is important that I do "find my truth" because the seeds of
FROM THE COMMUNITY
PONDERING BLACK HISTORY MONTH AS
A WHITE LESBIAN
by Andie Baja Lluvia
Not too many months ago I was on a panel of gays and lesbians
who had been asked to share their experiences of homophobia with a
college class of social science students.
During the question-and-answer session afterward, a young
woman in the front row told us-in a shaky voice and in near tearsthat she knew how we felt. Our experience was hers, she said.
Whoa, I thought, this woman's coming out as a lesbian in front of
her class.
Not exactly.
She knew how we felt, she said, because she was a fundamentalist
Christian and had undergone the same kind of persecution we had.
I'm thinking about her a lot this month-February-because it's
Black History Month and I've heard white gays and lesbians say the
same thing to African Americans. I've also had to resist the temptation
to do the same thing.
I can't speak for African Americans when they hear such things. But
I do know how I felt when that young woman told me her experience as
a fundamentalist Christian was the same as mine as a lesbian.
I felt as though she had not heard a word I or any of the other
panelists had said. I felt that she had completely disregarded and
diminished what we said by stealing our experience and trying to make
it hers.
I believed that she did feel persecuted because I'm sure she has
been trashed by people who are so angry about what some
fundamentalist Christians are saying that they will take it out on anyone
who identifies as a fundamentalist.
Persecution of any kind results in feelings that are similar.
However, I don't think her experience as a fundamentalist Christiana major form of Christianity that has existed, been accepted as a norm
and thrived in openness-is the same as gay-lesbian experience. She
had white privilege, Christian privilege in a predominately Christian
country and heterosexual privilege.
Sno-Trae Village Ile~ort
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in NORTHERN MICHIGAN
a woman's resort with 12 private
housekeeping rooms nestled on 7 acres
of secluded woods. Also in nearby Glen Arbor,
MARGE & JOANNE'S B&B
Open all year, no pets, WOMEN ONLY.
Near Traverse City. For info: Marge & Joanne's,
PO Box 457, Glen Arbor, MI 49636
(616) 334-3346.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
CAMPING - CABINS
& DORMITORY
SNOWMOBILE
SERVICE CENTER
• Full Facility Resort
• Nature Trails
• On Site Storage
• Hot Showers
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• 28 Years Experience
• Open 10 to 10 Daily
• Parts, Oil & Fuel
• Indoor Storage
• Access to Trails
Many fine restaurants nearby
60 Acre spread with trout stream
1!' 517 348 9494
6
800 348 9490
Lovells Area
3576 Sno-Trac Trail
Grayling, Ml 49738
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
Pondering (continued from previous page)
my internalized homophobia are planted there in beds of pain. Until
recently, there were very few books that specifically addressed gaylesbian shame and this process of internalized self-hatred.
In reading bell hooks, I have sometimes translated "black" into
"lesbian or gay," and it has helped me remember and validate some of
the shame feelings I have internalized as a woman in a culture of male
privilege, as a lesbian in a homophobic culture of heterosexual
privilege. From there, I have been able to go on and find my own truth.
I owe African Americans a lot. I need to honor their experience,
not take it.
GLSTN
Teachers Release New Video
Which is Setting the Record Straight on
Homophobia in Schools
The Gay, lesbian, Straight Teachers Network (GLSTN) released
a new video entitled "Setting the Record Straight." Made by
Philadelphia film maker Jim Caiola (winner of a 1995 National
Golden Apple Award for his educational film "AIDS: The Next
Generation"), "Setting the Record Straight" features lesbian, gay and
straight teachers and youth addressing how homophobia damages
schools in a dramatic 11-minute video.
GLSTN Executive Director, Kevin Jennings characterizes the film
as a direct response to anti-gay events such as the U.S. House
"Hearings on Parents, Schools, and Values" (held at the behest of far
right Traditional Values Coalition in December, 1995) as well as
propaganda such as "The Gay Agenda", a video distributed to
thousands of churches by far right groups over the past few years.
"We are tired of having ourselves defined by people who portray
us as predators and child molesters," Jennings said. "The point of the
film is to give local organizers a tool with which they can fight back
the next time there is an anti-gay initiative in their community,
especially one dealing with youth or schools. Such initiatives can
only succeed if their supporters can demonize us. We feel the film
does an excellent job of putting a human face on the issue and
communicating why homophobia must be addressed in schools."
Jennings reported that the first public showings of the film were in
Seattle on January 27 and in Boston on February 8 at events attended
by approximately fifty people each, and that he envisions it being
used in similar settings across the country by GLSTN chapters and
other such groups. "It's basically a tool to start a conversation among
friends and communities, hopefully on a small scale, where fears can
be addressed and overcome. We plan to use it to win our friends and
co-workers over, one heart at a time."
Jennings added that local GLSTN chapters would premier the
film over a period of the next two months at public events in over
twenty cities, and that the video will also be available for other
individuals and organizers to utilize. He added that this is the first of
three videos GLSTN will produce, with future projects featuring a
training video for school staff on the needs of gay and lesbian students
as well as a film on lesbian and gay history designed for high school
students. "It's the MTV generation, and we've got to use this medium
if we're going to be successful," Jennings said. "If the radical right can
do it with "The Gay Agenda", so can we."
With over thirty chapters, and a membership of over three
thousand teachers, parents, and concerned citizens, the Gay,
Lesbian, Straight Teachers Network (GLSTN) is the largest national
organization working to insure that schools are places where all
people are respected and valued, regardless of sexual orientation.
[Note: To order copies of "Setting the Record Straight" call
GLSTN at 212-727-0135 or send e-mail to GLSTN@aol.com. Videos
are in VHS format; price is $29.95, plus shipping and handling; the
running time is 11 minutes.]
CREATING BETTER RELATIONSHIPS
-A Learning I Discussion Series FREE Introduction and Course Description
March 26, 1996
For more information contact:
David Blisk, M.A.,L.P.C.
12549 So. Maple City Road
Maple City, Ml 49664
(616) 228-5105
Hands on Wheels
Robin R. Clinton
PERRY SHERWOOD
Massage Therapist
FINE ART
Massage Threapy available in your home or office (616) 885-2484
Equine Massage
Kalkaska Chiropractic Center
(616) 885-2484
(616) 258-8678
200 Howard Street • Petoskey • 348-5079
Graduate of Health Enrichment Center
Member of Associated Body Work & Massage Professionals
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
7
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
A Book Review:
This book tells gays and lesbians directly how shame originates in
us, what it does to us and how to heal from it.
Shame, Kaufman and Raphael say, may be the most disturbing
by Loraine Anderson
"Coming out of Shame:_Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives," by emotion in the human experience. It is what makes people feel
Gershen Kaufman, Ph.D., and Lev Raphael, Ph.D. (Doubleday, worthless, deficient and unspeakably inferior. Gay men and lesbians
shaped by society's negative attitudes toward them-have long
$22.95)
I first heard of Gersh Kaufman in 1987 when I went to a conference suffered shame's crippling effects: self-loathing, divided self, disrupted
at the Park Place with a friend who was working on issues stemming intimacy, low self-esteem, identity problems.
There are multiple sources of gay shame: individual, familial, cultural
from childhood sexual abuse. Shame is one of the core issues for abuse
and
religious.
Shame itself has been the principle source of the unique form
survivors. Kaufman, an Okemos clinical psychologist and professor at
Michigan State University, had done a lot of the founding work on the of oppression suffered by lesbians and gays everywhere: silence.
The key, Kaufman and Raphael say, is to break the silence that is
importance of healing shame when working with abuse survivors.
At the time, I was just trying to be supportive to a friend and had the hallmark of shame. Coming out is a major step, but doesn't
no idea what shame was. It would be six years later before I would completely dissolve gay shame, particularly when shaming messages
painfully become aware that my shame as a lesbian filled me with a continue to bombard gays and lesbians daily.
Healing from shame, they say, is important to gay identity, gay
crippling self-hatred that kept me closeted from a wider community
community
and power. But denial of shame is also a problem.
and living in a state of fear.
In
their
book, they explain the process of how and why shame
I first heard of Lev Raphael after he read my name in a New York
becomes
internalized,
probe the four critical emotions that make up
Times article about gay and lesbian journalists. Lev had seen the Times
homophobia,
offer
strategies
for healing and how to "collect and store"
story and dashed off a congratulatory letter and tucked some magazine
and newspaper articles into the envelope that told me more about self-esteem, and reveal how to enhance self-esteem, deepen intimacy
himself, his books and short stories, and that Gersh was his partner. I and strengthen identity.
The first chapter is academic, giving a detailed explanation of
went out and immediately bought his books and Gersh's. We met a
shame theory, which provides the framework for the rest of this wellfew weeks later over coffee.
By this time, I knew very well what shame was and how it had written and interesting book. Using personal accounts of gay men and
grown like that tenacious vine, kudzu, around my psyche and heart, women, including some of their own as a couple, Kaufman and
entwining itself through my thoughts, my dreams, choking me and Raphael clearly and with good focus explore how shame affects gays
tripping me, filling me with dis-ease, keeping me from being all that I and lesbians as individuals, in relationships and in their various
communities.
could be.
One of the things I particularly enjoyed as a reader is that they go
That kudzu was my internalized homophobia, and it wasn't until
I found all the runners and traced them back to the chief roots that I into many varieties of gay-lesbian relationships, without judgment, and
explain psychological factors at work.
could begin to dig out and heal.
'We can't ignore or underestimate the impact of shame in our
I did this by reading books about healing from childhood sexual
community,
whether through addiction, political infighting, denial or
itto
my
situation.
At
the
time,
I
didn't
really
know
abuse and translating
contempt
for
other gays and lesbians." They write in their final chapter
why I was doing this, only that I felt drawn to the subject though I had
Our Lives, Reinventing Ourselves." ...
"Revisioning
never been molested. It was only after I came out publicly that I
"Attaining
a measure of power may deceive us into believing that
understood for the first time that homophobia, for me, was a form of
shame
has
been
vanquished, when it still operates to undermine our
battering and psychological maiming.
"Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives" is resolve and self-esteem. _We need to neutralize shame in order to have
an excellent book for everyone, but most of all for gays and lesbians real power.
"... By transforming our lives through coming out of shame, we
because we don't have to translate psychological theories and
transform
the culture's perception and understanding of our lives,
processes to our experience.
finally
breaking
the equation that gay= shame."
The result of 15 years of collaboration, "Coming Out of Shame" is
the first book to systematically apply shame theory to the lesbian-gay
experience. It combines the talents and knowledge of two brilliant
,:
ERNIE DAWSON
men: Gersh, psychologist, writer, lecturer, and professor whose
,,
OWNER
t
··,
pioneering work on shame has made him a leading authority
nationwide on the subject; and Lev, an educator and prize-winning
author of fiction, a book on the role shame played in Edith Wharton's
,,,J• ._.,,.,
.
life and a book on self-esteem for children, which he co-authored with
1{.
Gersh. The two have been life partners for more than 10 years.
212 MICHIGAN AVENUE
' ~ . .. ·.
• • ,I• 4,
"Coming Out of Shame" is rich with anecdotes and real-life
P.O. BOX 38
GRAYUNG, MICHIGAN 49738
examples from their own and others' lives. The book also pays attention
(S 17) 348-4006
to the importance of community, spirituality, the effects of anti-gay
Flowers • Gi_fts • Antiques
rhetoric and messages and the responsibility of those who foment them.
.
.. >--
~¥.
~
.
gfowe1ts
CBg Joste
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NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH
8
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
__________________
---------------------
Pmperty
..;._.;...of the Center
WORDS AND MUSIC: WHAT'S NEW IN
BOOKS, MAGAZINES, CD's AND TAPES
book details the stages they went through until there came
acceptance.
The Arc of Love: An Anthology of Lesbian Love Poems edited by
Clare Coss, $18.00. A sophisticated collection of poetry that explores
all aspects of women loving women. Includes Audre Larde, Joy
Harjo, June Jordan and virtually voices from all nationalities.
American Studies by Mark Merlis, $10.95. This novel begins as
an older man is recovering from a brutal beating in a hospital, where
he recalls the troubled life of his former mentor, a once-famous
professor who was driven to suicide during the McCarthy era.
Franny, The Queen of Provincetown by John Preston, $8.95. The
lead character sounds like a cross between Auntie Mame and the
Nanny! Drag queen Franny looks after the men of Provincetown
(hmmm) with genuine caring and concern. Franny wants to make a
place in the world for those who don't fit in and the world a better
place for everyone-just like Diana Ross!
Jack of Hearts by Joseph Hansen, $10.95. This is a prequel to
Hansen's classic Living Upstairs. The story takes readers back to early
1940s California, when 17-year-old Nathan Reed is coming -of-age.
This novel is being praised as funny, tender and truthful.
At Horizon Books, Alex gave us these recommendations:
Aimee and Jaguar by Erica Fischer, $24.00. This is a translation
from the German book by Edna McCown. It tells the true story of a
hidden Jew and the wife of a Nazi officer who fall in love in 1943
Berlin. After the two women's affair is discovered, the Jewish woman
is sent to the Czech ghetto and the gentile sets off to find her.
Chloe Plus Olivia edited by Lillian Faderman, $16.95. This an
anthology of lesbian literature from the Seventeenth century to the
present and is the winner of the Lambda Literary Award. Divided by
genres, the work ranges from 17th century writer Katherine Phillips
to modern day Dorothy Allison.
The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out by
Robb Forman Dew, $11.00. The title says it al I, but the story is told
with honesty and humor. One critic praised the book's best moments
when the Dew's came out to the community as parents of a gay child.
Sister and Brother: Lesbians and Gay Men Write About their
Lives Together, edited by Joan Nestle and John Preston, $13.00.
Another Lambda Literary Award winner. Alex says this is a wellreviewed and excellent collection of thought-provoking and funny
stories.
By Rick Gould
Here are some suggestions by local stores for your springtime
listening and reading pleasure.
Shelley at The Bookie Joint has given us a number of ideas when
it comes to magazines, books and music:
Some new magazines at The Bookie Joint include: Urban Fitness,
50/50--which covers gay and lesbian culture, Our World-a travel
mag, Lesbian News, Frontiers-gay West Coast news and info, and
the Lesbian Connection-from East Lansing.
New book titles include:
Lieutenant Nun: Memoirs of a Basque Transvestite in the New
World by Catalina de Erauso, $16.95. This story is ·about a young
woman who runs away from a convent in the 1500's and fights in the
Spanish Conquest of Peru and Chile, disguised as a man. She leads a
wild and passionate life and in 1626 is granted permission by the
Pope to continue her life as a man. I see Madonna in the movie
version. How about you?
Female Problems: An Unhelpful Guide by Nicole Hollander,
$9.95. Cartoons and humorous essays, including "Why It's Okay to
Identify with the Evil Queen Rather than Snow White." I just assumed
we all did!
Carrington: A Life by Gretchen Holbrook Gerzina, $15.00. No,
this isn't about a Dynasty character, although this artist's life was
nearly as steamy. Dora Carrington was a bisexual painter who fell
deeply in love with the gay writer Lytton Strachey. Emma Thompson
stars as Carrington in the same titled movie version. And Kenneth
Branaugh does not play Strachey.
A Ghost in the Closet by Mabel Manley, $10.95. Introduced by
the Hardley Boys, these two intrepid gay sleuths join forces with
Nancy Clue (or is that Clue-less) and Cherry Aimless, in a parody of
certain childhood mystery favorites.
Music on Tape or CD's:
Can We Go Home Again by the Roches, $10.98-cassette and
$14.98-CD. If you saw them here in concert recently, no doubt you'll
want this latest effort.
Hand in Hand by Various Artists, $13.98-CD only. Today's up
and coming gay, lesbian, bisexual and gay-friendly performers are
represented including Pussy Tourette, Nancy Ford, and Romanoff and
Phillips. I guess this means Kathy Lee Gifford does not warble a tune
here.
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gives us the following list:
Eros in Boystown: Contemporary Gay Poems About Sex edited
by Michael Lassell, $15.00. A compact design and carefully selected
erotic poems make this a perfect gift. Contributions by Stephen
Spender, Hart Crane, Allen Ginsberg and Paul Monette.
Not Like Other Boys, Growing Up Gay: A Mother and Son Look
Back by Marlene and Christopher Shyer, $21.95. In alternating
voices, this mother and son memoir depicts the parallel lives they led
during the years before his homosexuality was acknowledged. The
Book List continued next page
HAIR FORCE ONE
801 West Front Street
Traverse City, MI 49684
For Appointment Call
941-8255
Mark Lizenby
NE1W0RKING 4S°N0RTH
9
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCIVAPRIL 1996
Book List (continued from previous page)
The Book of Knowledge by Doris Grumbach, $22.00. This novel
depicts the lives of four young people during the Depression and a
relationship that develops between the two young men.
At B. Dalton's Beth gave us this list:
Finding Love in a Man-Eat-Man World: The Intelligent Guide To
Gay Dating, Romance and Eternal Love by Craig Nelson, $12.95. No,
the author isn't lV's Coach, that's Craig T. Nelson! This Nelson draws
on interviews and his own life experiences in the gay dating game to
present this revealing and often humorous guide. Nelson explores
issues beginning with the baggage people bring to a relationship,
breaking down barriers, or just surviving a breakup. And remember,
dating is often funny.
Fairy Tales by Peter Cashorali, $18.00. Traditional stories re-told
by gay men. And remember, it's okay to want to be the Evil Queen
and not Snow White!
Dyke Life by Karla Jay, $23.00. The author has brought together
essays by a fascinating array of lesbian and bisexual women of
different ages, races and backgrounds. •
B. Dalton's also carries The Advocate, Genre and Out
magazines, all $3.95 each.
Finally, from AB CD's, Norm gives us the latest musical scoop:
Donna Summer will soon be releasing her first country album,
recorded in Nashville. And get this: the album includes a duet with
Liza Minnelli. (No, it's not "I'm a Little Bit Country, I'm a Little Bit
Demerol"). Norm will keep us posted.
John Travolta is hot-again. Proof of this is that his musical
endeavors from the 1970s are being re-released in a compilation CD.
Aside from Grease, the John-man did some warbling during his Kotter
days as a teen fave. But does it come with a wall poster?
Amplified Heart by Everything But the Girl has been one of AB
CD's bestsellers and Norm is glad to see them catch on in mainstream
airplay.
Boys For Pele by Tori Amos is another recommendation.
Soundtracks are in and Norm has Leaving Las Vegas, Mr. Wrong,
Beautiful Girls, VictorNictoria among others.
And last, George Michael's new full-length CD under his new
contract should be in the store by the time you read this-his first in
five years.
As always, these stores appreciate your business and suggestions.
Call now for your free
phone consultation-
616-947-8842
convenient midtCJWn
location, free parking
733 E. Eigth St., T.C.
NE1WORKING 45°NORTH
Hypnotherapy can help in:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Kevin Brian Wolf
holding his nepher Garret.
TRAVERSE CITY- Kevin
Brian Wolf, 27, of Traverse
City, died Friday from injuries
sustained in an automobile
accident.
A lifelong resident of
the Grand Traverse area, he
was the manager of Dillons
Ice Cream in Traverse City and
a sophomore at Northwestern
Michigan College. He spoke
both French and Spanish and
was majoring in Spanish. He
planned to be a Spanish
instructor.
rl~imtmll~
lsHAMANISMI
?i\
Shamanism is the most ancient method of mind-body healing.
Shamans the world over saw illness as a break in our
spiritual essence causing debilitation and disease.
Fff
Trauma or negative energy from another person causes
spiritual break resulting in loss of power, soul loss or spirit
intrusion.
Symptom of power loss are
chronic bad luck, illness, frequent
accidents or low self esteem.
When we are dispirited, who helps us? We have doctors for
the body and mind. As a practicing shaman, Nancy
Hayward uses techniques from the ancient ones. She
journeys to other worlds and with spirit help restores
personal power, knowledge, healing and wholeness to her
clients.
(ti Hypnotherapy will give you the Tools to Change your Life!
Certified
Hypnotherapist
Died January 12, 1996
Symptom of soul loss are empty
feelings, depression, loss of
vitality, gaps in memory and long
grieving periods.
C7?reative Solutions through Hypnotherapy
Joanna T. Lauber,
M.A., O.T.R., P.C.
KEVIN BRIAN
WOLF
relationship conflicts
addictions
eating disorders
depression & anxiety
stress management
self esteem issues
pain management
women's issues
childhood trauma
spiritual crisis
Nancy has her training from the Foundation for Shamanic
Studies. For information or for an appointment call her at
616-223-7999.
10
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
He enjoyed music, walking and writing letters, and had many
pen pals.
He was born November 10, 1968, in Grand Traverse County.
Surviving are his longtime companion, Jim lngleson of Traverse
City, and the lngleson family who cared deeply for him; his mother,
Virginia A. Wolf of Traverse City; his father, Brian R. Wolf of
Kinglsley; a sister, Shayeann F. Gensler of Traverse City; three
nephews, Marcel, Garrot and Keagan Gensler; his maternal
grandmother, Dorothy Wieland of Traverse City; and many aunts,
uncles and cousins.
Memorials may be given to the Kevin Brian Wolf Scholarship
fund through Northwestern Michigan College.
January 15, 1996
Dear Kevin,
We say good-bye to those we love everyday ... as when children
leave for school. .. or when we say good-bye to a good friend who is
leaving on vacation.
When we embrace and say "good-bye" and "I love you," as we
are parting-it's not forever ... but just for that moment...
If it should turn out that this would be the last time we would be
together, how much better we would feel had we embraced and said
"I love you."
Everyday that remains of my life, I will be thankful for those
moments on Friday morning that we did ... and our final phone
conversation ending with our "I love you's" moments before you left
forever ...
Together we faced our life with it's sorrows and struggles and the
many happy and joyous moments we shared ... the everyday hugs
and smiles, and all the little things that made our life together very
special.
I do and always will love you! I will keep you alive in my
thoughts and many memories, and with the love from both our
families, but most of all, you will always be in my heart!
"Good-bye, I love you," - Jim
* This letter was read by our friend Patty O'Donnell at Kevin's lv1emorial
Service on behalf ofJim lngleson, on January 15, 1996.
rtJtl'l,flll'
JanITaes
f
/Er_§ AA££ tr,, urru PRIP
custom screen printing
516 E. Eighth St.
Traverse City, MI 49686
(616)929-3610 FAX 929-9206
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WHOLESALE/RETAIL
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GRAPHICS &: DESIGN
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too'h tftfTf,IR,U t/JTT/Jtf
/JtfLI/ 12. 95
SUPERMAN & THE FLYING NUN
by Greg R. Baird
I believe that one of the greatest things that happened to me over a
year ago was finding out that my older brother is gay. It not only saved our
failing relationship with each other, but it helped us talk a lot about our
childhood and growing up. Many of our phone discussions over the past
year have been quite sincere and also very funny. One conversation in
particular, still brings a smile to my face.
Show and Tell was a popular game that my brother and I would play
when we were growing up. Since I was a little "Drama Queen" I enjoyed
entertaining all of my parents' friends when they would come over to visit
Once they sat down on the old 1960's flowered sofa, the show began.
Since I was the most outgoing and natural at acting, my brother, after a
few failed attempts at trying to please the audience, would go to his room
and construct, what would be the biggest show and tell ever. This would
be his way of finally putting me in my place.
If you were like me at all, costumes played a big part of our playtime.
I was 8 years old when I first experienced the magic of dressing up and
being someone else. The hell with Show and Tell, I was (Ta Dal
)Superman. With my outfit on, I could climb trees gracefully, use my x-ray
vision (Too bad Idon't have that now!) and beat my brother up. My friends
thought I was cool and my parent's friends, sitting on the 1960s flowered
sofa, said I was cute. All the time Iwas doing this, my brother Doug was in
his room with the door locked making the ultimate show stopper.
On one particular balmy, summer evening, while my parents were
hosting a party outside on the lawn, I decided to perform my feats of
strength as Superman. After doing tricks like lifting our family dog over my
head and throwing a rock over the top of the house, I decided my final act
was to run across the back porch and jump over the railing. My brother of
course had a front row seat.
With my red cape flapping behind me and my heart pounding, I
jumped too late and landed smack dab on the railing breaking it in a
million pieces and tearing my Superman outfit. I cried what seemed a
thousand tears, going into my house to get cleaned up after my little show.
All the time, my brother smiling and making plans to unleash his ultimate
performance.
Two weeks later while having a casual, family picnic in the back yard.
My brother tells us that he is going to fly off the back hill behind our house.
My mother, in a very concerned way, asked how. My brother ran into the
house and, moments later, returned, grasping in his hand an identical hat
like the one Sally Field wore in the television show," The Flying Nun". Let
me tell you-this thing was huge and had wings on it like a 747.
My parents and I laughed, but my brother swore that in moments he
would be flying over the house like Sally Field. I thought at the time if he
really could do this it would put my Superman show to shame. I ran into
the house and came out with my camera and headed to the back hill with
my brother. This was going to be a Kodak moment
After some failed attempts of just jumping in mid-air, my brother
thought that a running start would be best. Now picture if you will, two
little gay boys out on a back hill, one with a huge old camera and the other
with a 747 Nun's hat on. Here were the origins of my homosexuality!
With my parents and neighbors preparing for lift off, my brother ran
as fast as he could across the top of the hill and ... jumped off. The camera
SUPERMAN continued on page 16
11
VOWME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
JL A
ANNOUNCEMENTS
N.W. MICHIGAN BEARS CLUB. A Bear Club is now being organized
for bears and those who like them. For information, please write to PO
BOX 283, Northport, Ml 49670 (issue 3)
GAY GAMES IN 1998: Team Great Lakes is having an organizing
meeting to plan for the upcoming games in Amsterdam, scheduled for
August 1-5, 1998. Those interested, please call Ann Heier at 810-5474692. The meeting is planned for March 16, 10:00 am at Affirmations
in Ferndale. Team Great Lakes sent 180 individual athletes and teams
to New York City in '94. (Issue 2)
BI-MONTHLY, Bl-SEXUAL, WOMEN'S LUNCHEON: Meet the first and
third Tuesday of each month, from 11 :30 am until 1 :00 at a local,
Traverse City restaurant. Our next luncheon meetings are scheduled for
March 5 and 19. Call Pamela at 922-0734 or contact Friends North.
(issue 3)
WASHINGTON D.C. QUILT: I am putting together a group of people
who are interested in going to Washington next October to see the
entire Names Project Quilt. Please contact me, Tom, at 616-947-4647
or write: 208 Circle Dr., Apt. C, Traverse City, 49684. (issue 3)
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a
difference! The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To
contribute specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at
271-3042 or send a check (in an amount of $100.00 or less) directly to
Friends North. We thank an anonymous donor from Traverse City and
Philadelphia for this issue's cards. (issue 6)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDSl Call locally 24 hours a day to
947-1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue 3)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION HAS MOVED to
a new location in Petoskey, at the Concord Academy, 2230 East
Mitchell St. Services will be held on alternate Sundays with dates
disclosed in their newsletter, Diversity. Please call 348-3117 for details
or write to us at POB 271, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0271 (Issue 4)
HATE CRIMES WATCH: The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has
begun a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION.
The group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes. For details, call 313-533-1166 or 517-7539823. Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 3)
CREATING CHANGE: The annual NGLTF Conference is being held in
Alexandria, VA, outside of Washington D.C., on November 6-10. For
information contact NGLTF through their web page or call 617-4926393. (issue 3)
FRIENDS NORTH ANNUAL BIKE TOUR SCHEDULED: The weekend of
biking and camping at spectacular Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore in
Leelanau County, is planned for July 26-28. All those who like to bike, either
long or short distances, should plan to attend. Last year, about 120 gays,
lesbians and their friends, spent the weekend, which features bike rides on
Saturday and Sunday, a catered dinneron Saturday night, a bit of beach time,
a commemorative tee shirt, and people from all over the country. Reserve
early, as this year the tour will most likely be sold out Cost is $70.00, or
$50.00 if payment is made before May 15. Contact Jeff at 616-271-3042 or
Gretchen at 616-943-9819. If you would like information sent, please leave
your name and address on the machine. (issue 3)
TWIN CITIES TO CHICAGO AIDS RIDE: Over 1700 riders plan to take
part in this benefit ride (not race) between the two cities. Six days and
450 miles, the group will cycle through some of the most incredible
scenery in the Midwest, while raising money for six AIDS service
agencies in Chicago. July 1-6. Call 312-880-8812 to order a free color
brochure. (issue 3)
NElWORKING 4S°NORTH
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12
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their
Reproductive Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages.
Confidential services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and
testing, pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and
treatment, all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants, DepoProvera, IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other
methods which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630.
Services are by appointment only. (issue 3)
PERSONALS:
CHRISTIAN, LESBIAN, WOMAN committed to Jesus Christ offers bible
study with fellowship and fun for likeminded gays and lesbians. If you
are interested, please send information on how to contact you. Please
write: Bible Study, PO BOX 188, Suttons Bay, Ml 49682. Confidentiality
assured. Let's get together and celebrate the fact that Jesus loves us just
the way we are! (issue 3)
GROUPS:
FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends
North Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 pm. at
Northwestern Michigan College, West Hal I on the first floor, Room 2 in
the cafeteria. Everyone is welcome! (issue 3)
GLSTN, the Gay-Lesbian-Straight Teachers Network, is meeting monthly
in Traverse City. Newly forming, they welcome all interested educators.
The March meeting will be held on the 18th, at 7:00 pm, at Third Level,
1022 E. Front St. in T.C. For more information, call M'Lynn at 943-8800
or contact Friends North. (issue 2)
FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of men and women who get
together monthly for Iively discussion on a particular topic and a good time.
Please consider joining them on the second Wednesday of each month, 7:30
p.m. at Grace Episcopal Church, 349 Washington, T.C. Look for the Rap
Group announcement elsewhere in this issue of the newsletter. (issue 3)
P-FLAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is a
network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who meet
monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with others
about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also welcome
and encouraged to attend P-FLAG meetings. Meet at Grace Episcopal
Church every third Wednesday of the month, at 7:30 pm. For more
information call Cindy Robb at 271-5045. (issue 3)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others under
25 which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere that is comfortable
and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 922-4800 or 1-800-442-7315
for location, date and time. (issue 3)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well
as a chance to meet others from the area. It all happens at the Unity
Church, 3600 Five Mile Rd. in T.C. Please see the Out 'N About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue 3)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim at 271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that you are
interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with information on
where to meet. We're back running as a group for the winter again. All
ages and abilities are welcome. (issue 2)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or
AIDS and they welcome you to attend. Please drop in Monday evenings
from 6:00 to 7:30 at the Grace Episcopal Church library at 341
Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month the
Significant-Other Support Group wi II be meeting at 3301 Veterans Drive,
Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information, please
call 933-0279. (issue 3)
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCIVAPRIL 1996
Shared Letters continued
Classifieds continued
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays at the Park Garden Cafe on Lake Street. For information please
contact Tim at 348-8151 or Zalmon at 348-5079. (issue 2)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule, please
contact Deb at 275-5924. (issue 3)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and eastern
upper peninsula of Michigan. HANDS is a non-profit organization that
has committed itself to helping and supporting the needs of HIV infected
persons. They offer a number of services, including support groups,
education, public awareness, and one-on-one friendship support.
Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena, Gaylord, and Rogers City
areas. If you would be interested in the program, please call 616-5269213. (issue 3)
GAY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Meetings for gays and lesbians are
held each Saturday at 11 :00 am at Grace Episcopal Church, corner
Washington and Boardman Streets in TC. For further info, call John at
922-0746 or Tom at 947-4647. (issue 3)
SHARED LETTERS:
Ms. Karen Fenwick
President, PFLAG/DETROIT
Farmington, Ml
Dear Ms. Finwick:
I am writing in response to your letter dated January 19 in which
you express concerns regarding Central Michigan University's
response to the recommendations which members of PFLAG presented
at the university's Board of Trustees meeting in November. We
appreciate the support your organization is providing lesbian and gay
students because we share your sincere desire for their wel I-being. The
university has taken a number of actions, both before and after
receiving these recommendations, which we believe address the
concerns of PFLAG. They are presented below.
Recommendation One: "Make a non-discrimination policy that
includes sexual orientation as part of the Board ofTrustees' policies and
by-laws." The university's current AA/BO Presidential policy addresses
sexual orientation. The university's Bulletin states "Central Michigan
University is an affirmative action/equal opportunity institution, and
resolves to encourage diversity and provide equal opportunity
regardless of race, sex, disability, sexual orientation or other irrelevant
criteria" (CMU Bulletin 1995-1996. p. 10) The Board of Trustees'
policies on employment and housing currently are under review.
Recommendation Two: "Issue a strong statement condemning
hate crimes at the university. Say in clear and unambiguous terms that
such behavior is nottolerated and that immediate action will be taken."
In a letter to the university community which was published in the
November 10, 1995, issue of the campus newspaper CM LIFE. and
shortly after in the community newspaper The Morning Sun. I stated
very directly that CMU will not tolerate hate crimes. In addition, the
Dean of Students is preparing a letter condemning sexual assault and
NE'IW0RKING 45°N0RTH
hate crimes which will be distributed widely to the university
community.
Recommendation Three: "Provide campus-wide uniform and
continuous education and sensitivity training for all students, faculty
and staff." The university's Affirmative Action Officer provides training
and educational programs on a continuing basis. Additionally, the
Office of Gay and Lesbian Programs offers university-wide programs
annually.
Recommendation Four: "Increase the budget of the Office of Gay
and Lesbian Programs." A decision on the budget for the office will be
made after the Assistant Vice President for Institutional Diversity, the
person to whom this office reports, submits a complete plan and set of
recommendations for the university's diversity efforts.
Recommendation Five: "Provide a "safe space" for gay and lesbian
students which may include a lounge and information center." In
response to the students' request, a private office in Sloan Hal I has been
provided to the registered student organization GLASS. This space is in
addition to the already designated area for GLASS in the Student
Organization Center.
Recommendation Six: "Establish a systematic review process and
crisis intervention committee to respond to homophobic and anti-gay
incidents" The university has implemented a Crisis Intervention Policy
under which such incidents can be addressed.
Ms. Fenwick, I want to state once again that Central Michigan
University is very concerned about the welfare of all its students. We
continually strive to provide a collegial atmosphere where learning
takes place within a community of diverse cultures, beliefs and
personal orientations.
Sincerely,
Leonard E. Plachta, President
Ms. Rene A. Jeffries
Dear Ms. Jeffries:
Belated thanks for your letter of December 6 and your
compliments on my speech to the Commonwealth Club of California.
I appreciate your comments and your support.
Frankly, there is little, if any, federal prohibition on discrimination
based on sexual orientation. In the Civil Rights Division, and elsewhere
in the Administration, we feel very frustrated by this reality. In the last
SHARED LETTERS continued next page
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Foreign & American Specialists
•
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2429 S. Airport Rd.
Traverse City, Michigan 49684
(616) 941-8803
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13
V0WME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
Shared Letters continued
Congress, I gave testimony in support of a bill introduced to prohibit
employment discrimination against gays and lesbians. That bill was
reintroduced in this Congress and the President has again indicated his
support. We are also very aware of the problem of "gay bashing" and
are examining ways to address this within existing jurisdiction or
through (possibly) new measures. We shall see.
It is quite clear that the struggles in the gay and lesbian
communities for tolerance, fairness and equality, while different in
important respects, share aspirations common to others often on the
receiving end of discrimination - and I believe by all Americans of
good faith. As a Nation, we may not yet be where we need to get to,
but in the meanwhile, keep the faith.
Sincerely yours,
Deval L. Patrick-Assistant Attorney General
Civil Rights Division U.S. Department of Justice
Washington, DC 20035
...
"'
Dear Editor of February's Black and Gold,
Last week I attended the talent show. I was amazed by the many
talented students and impressed by their ability to perform in front of
their peers despite some of the hecklers.
Unfortunately, portions of the last act stopped me cold and made
me be very uncomfortable. I did not like the jokes about the Holocaust
and gays. The slaughter of millions of Jews, gypsies and gays by the
Nazis was an inhuman act To make light of this great suffering is mean
and points to a serious lack of sensitivity.
I have a sister who is gay. She struggled for several years to accept her
sexuality and said her high school years were very difficult because she
felt different She endured in silence many negative comments about gays.
As the obnoxious anti-gay comments continued, I wondered
about the adult supervision that allowed these jokes to be said.
Teenagers still need guidance.
I think the writers and performers of these jokes need to examine
their feelings about the Holocaust and homosexuality.
Humor is one form of communication and all communication
sends a message. I hope the students involved in the last act will realize
their jokes hurt, and resolve to be more sensitive in the future.
Sincerely, Mary Lee Pakieser MSN, RN, CS
(Reprinted from the February's Black and Gold, the newspaper of
Traverse City High School)
COMMUNITY NOTES:
by Richard Tuxbury
TRAVERSE CITY:
Commendations go to Kevin Tarsa, John Evans, and Jeff Erno for
sharing their views and their lives with Traverse City. On February 3rd,
the TC Record-Eagle did a feature story on these three gay men and their
connection to religion. It was written by Cathy Rafferty, and was given
prominence on the Religion page.
Kevin is currently the director of music at Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship, having been raised a Catholic. Jeff attended Bible college,
and eventually was not able to continue his program that would have led
him to becoming a pastor. John is an ordained Episcopal priest, who has
been retired for a few years, and has been openly gay for the last 25.
.
The February ski party and chili dinner saw a fun crowd of 40 get
together in Suttons Bay at the Bahle Warming Hut Organized by F.N.
board member Jim Poole, the afternoon featured howling north winds,
single-digit temperatures, lots of hot chili and chocolate, a gigantic walkin fireplace, and a chance to meet new members of the community. Look
for a repeat party next year, maybe at the same location.
.
...
.
Jim Carruthers has been working passionately at his coordinating job
with Wellness Networks, and his work shows. Thanks to him and a small
committee, combination social-fundraising events are happening.
The Wellness Benefit Auction was held on March 1st at Sidetraxx.
This annual event was even better attended than last year, and all rooms
of the niteclub were packed. With pledges as well as the auction itself,
almost $7,000. was raised. Support came in other areas too, with more
people getting involved in Wellness because of this fun event.
The auction had items from local businesses as well as artists and
crafters from the area. There was beautiful artwork, creative stained glass,
metalwork, quilts, and a handmade oak table.
Brooke Borgeson-Gray emceed, while Laura Wilcock, the Karoake Queen
from Dils, played auctioneer. A wonderful selection of food was provided by
Ron Harington, owner of Sidetraxx, and also by the Left Bank Cafe.
Also, in February, Jim organized a benefit breakfast event hosted and
cooked by the VFW on Veterans Drive in T.C. For many members of the
gay/lesbian community this was the first time they had ventured inside a
VFW hall, and after they found the coast to be clear, entered to be fed a
true midwesterner's breakfast of sausage, eggs, ham and pancakes. Half
of each $5.00 entry ticket was donated to Wellness Networks by the local
VFW chapter.
Look for another event yet this month: Dillons Ice Cream in
downtown T.C. is hosting a Wellness Ice Cream Social on Sunday, March
24th. Stop by for ice cream from 11 a.m. til 6 p.m .
HEAR.
•
. IIERE!
Our listening bar takes the guess work out of buying
music by allowing you to preview any selection in our
inventory .
A Better CorT4>act Disc Store.
430 East Front Street/ Traverse City/ 946-2112
NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH
14
VOWME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
'Ol~c0Pa~t1
7''liday .Afa'lch 22
70~Af~lc
7 0 ~ 7'a~lzlon
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SideTraxx is Northern Michigan's
Dance - Cruise
Video - Bar
St l?utricks Du-q l?urtq
Sundu-q, Jy71urcb j 7
DJ Jy71tke l(tng j 0-2
Proudly Gay Owned and Operated since 1989
No Cover Fridays thru Winter '96
Saturday Cover is $3.00
Monday is Womyn's Night
Tuesday is Men's Night
Open 7 Days - 6:00 pm
616"' 935"' 1666 > 520 Franklin
T
Traverse City, MI 49684
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STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES
LOCAL SPIRITUAL:
Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) .... . . . ..... 800-347-HATE
Child Abuse Hotline . . . ... .. .. .... ... .... .. .... .. .. 800-392-8222
Michigan Wellness Networks ........................ 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .......... . ....... 800-347-TEEN
The Reverend Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 ... Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth . . . .... .. 616-223-7999
STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL / POLITICAL / MEDIA
The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of W. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 . . ..... . . 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 . ... ... ...... . .. 616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ....... . .... ... 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 .... .. .... .. . ... ... ... . . ... . . 313-398-GAYS
http1/www.webspace.com/~tcc/affirmationsflndex.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 ... . . . ....... . .. . 517-332-3200
Capital Men's Club
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48902 . ... (Kelly Stevens) 517-482-0860
Ambitious Amazons/Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 ......... .. ... . 517-371-5257
Lesbian Alliance
P.O. Box 6423, East Lansing, Ml 48826 ..... .. . . .. .. . 517-394-1454
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit 48219 ...... . . ... .. 313-537-3323
................... . ... . .. .. .. .. .. . ...... Fax: 313-537-3379
email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . trijeffm@aol.com
PRIDE-Flint: P.O. Box 7014, Flint, Ml 48507 ...... . ... . . 313-238-9854
Aurora Newsletter: (reaching out to gays, lesbians, bisexuals in the UP &
Canada) POB 626, Marquette, Ml 49855
Tearn Great Lakes
195 W. Nine Mile Rd., Suite 106, Ferndale, Ml 48220 .. 810-553-3586
NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL I POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
101214th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 .. . . 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 .. . .... ... ... 212-807-1700
.... .... . .. ........... ... . . . ... .......... Fax: 212-807-1806
email . . . . ............... .... .. ... ......... glaadnatl@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force .... .. .. . ..... .. . 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 ..... .. Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund
666 Broadway, New York, NY 10012 ... .... . ........ 212-995-8585
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 ......... . 415-621-0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ....... 202-628-4160
. . . .. . . ........ ... ......... ..... .. . ...... Fax: 202-347-5323
email .. ........... . . . .. . ...... ... ... ... .... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
1012 14th St. NW #707, Washington, DC 20005 . ...... 202-842-7679
LOCAL COUNSELING:
Third Level Crisis Intervention, 902 W. Front St. . ... . .... 616-922-4800
................ . ... . .... . . .. ............ and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ......................... . 616-941-1210
Rodger Landvoy, PHO . . ........... . ............ .. . 616-929-1711
Susan Breuer PHO (Frankfort I Traverse City) . . .. . ... . . . 616-352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ............ . ............. . ... 616-947-0511
David Blisk (Maple City) ............................ 616-228-5105
Joanna T. Lauber, MA, OTA, CHI .. . . ........ ..... . . .. 616-947-8842
Barbara Jones Smith, PHO ....... . ..... ...... .. .. ... 616-947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .. . . ... . . ...... 616-348-2415
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) ..................... . 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center .... ..... 616-935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ..................... .. 616-348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHO, CSW .. ....... . . . .... . ... . . .. 906-495-5061
Lois Martindale, Benzonia ........................... 616-882-5888
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City .... . . . ... 929-1315 or 800-686-0749
LOCAL SERVICE / SOCIAL / POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) ...... ........ ..... . .. 616-946-1804
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location &time ....... ... . .... . . . 616-922-4800
or . .. ............... ...... . .. ... .. ... . .. .. .... 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nile Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. ....... 616-935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . 616-922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC .. .. John 616-922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City
POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 .... ... ........ . . . Cindy 616-271-5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network) . .... ... 616-943-8800
NOW (National Organization for Women) Gail Trill ...... . 616-938-1333
LOCAL HIV/AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
Wellness Networks, Grand Traverse,
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 .. ....... .... 616-947-1110
Wellness HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group ...... . . . . 616-947-1110
Grand Traverse County Health Department ............. 616-922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist . . .. . ....... 616-935-8140
Munson Medical Center HIV Clinic ...... . ......... 1-800-847-8474
Community Health Clinic .. ............ . . . ....... . . .. 616-929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) . ..... .. .... 1-800-248-6777
HERE ARE SOME PHONE NUMBERS EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE: The WMe House (202) 456-1111 · the U.S. Capital (202) 224-3121 •
and some phone numbers for Northwest Michigan Residents-Carl Levin (202) 224-6221 or in TC (616) 947-9569·
'
Spencer Abraham (202) 224-4822 or in Grand Rapids (616) 456-2592; Bart Stupak (202) 225-4735 or in iC 929-4711
..,
.....
,,
LITTLE TRAVERSE DIARY
Let's welcome Lev and Gersh back to T.C.! As you will see elsewhere
in this newsletter, T.C. will soon have the two authors back to talk about
their new book, Coming Out of Shame. Actually, the two-day event will
be a workshop, with Lev Raphael and Gersh Kaufman leading the group
discussions. It will be held at the Arts Center, an old and cozy clapboard
building in the village of Leland.
YPSILANTI:
In a vote on January 23, the Eastern Michigan University Board of
Regents added sexual orientation to its various non-discrimination
policies. Five members voted in favor with one abstention. The approval
marked the end of a persistent campaign by EMU students, faculty and
staff. It also may mark the beginning of a new push to secure benefits for
same-sex partners who are employed by the university.
.....
.....
A gay fraternity at EMU was granted official chapter status this year
by its parent organization, Delta Lambda Phi. Founded in 1986, the
national fraternity has about 20 chapters nationwide and 1000 members.
With sexual orientation as the common denominator, fraternity
brothers represent a rainbow of backgrounds, making the group one of
the most diverse frats at EMU: Members include foreign students, AsianAmericans, Latinos, blacks, whites, students from Wealthy Detroit
suburbia, and Michigan farm communities and big cities.
V
SPRING LAKE:
A pastor who says that homosexuality is "not a defect, just a
difference" faced scrutiny from the Reformed Church of America for that
view. Although the large Spring Lake congregation stood behind the Rev.
Richard Rhem, he was asked to leave his post by conservative church
leaders.
About 600 members of Rhem's congregation signed a petition of
support for this gentle and sensible man who had been with them for over
25 years. During an investigation by national church leaders, he was
consistently given hugs and standing ovations by his church members.
The RCA considers homosexuality as contrary to the word of God, but
urges compassion and pastoral concern for gays and lesbians. Rhem, by
contrast, has said, "I consider homosexual orientation as part of the larger
diverse pattern of creation ... " This 'inclusive' philosophy got him the
marching orders.
As of this writing, March 6th, it has been rumored that the
congregation has decided to withdraw their church from the RCA. They
would then ally themselves with another national church whose views
were more in line with their own. Rev. Rhem would then stay on with
his congregation.
Zalmon Sherwood
When I am feeling pessimistic about the future of the lesbian/gay
rights movement, I try to focus on the positive aspects of our
struggling community. This is not to deny that there are powerful
forces at work, both from within and beyond our ranks, to undermine
the little progress we have made. In fact, frequently the news is so
bad (for example, Pat Buchanen's astonishing victories in the
Republican primaries) that I become paralyzed with fear. It is during
such a time that it is helpful, calming, therapeutic, to focus on
something good and beautiful.
Which is why I turn to my friends, Bill and Howard. Early in
April, they will celebrate their fortieth anniversary as a gay couple.
They date their anniversary from the day they met, because, they say,
that was the day their lives changed forever.
Bill and Howard provide a model for younger lesbians and gay
men who seek to sustain long-term relationships. Finding a lover is
one thing; making it work is quite another. I used to think that dating
one man for more than two months was an accomplishment. But
sharing your life with someone for a decade, a quarter century, forty
years, creates an admirable bond that few of us have had the
opportunity to experience.
One of the most controversial issues of the lesbian/gay rights
movement is the concept of same-sex marriage. When I ask Bill and
Howard if they consider themselves to be a married couple, they
answer, "Yes." When I ask them if they would prefer to have their
relationship recognized legally, they answer, "Absolutely."
Meanwhile, they live publicly as a gay couple. Although they are
retired, they remain active in their community; they remain aware of
current events; they contribute generously to gay and progressive
causes; they encourage their younger gay friends who value their
wisdom and experience.
I offered to host a party in their honor, because I believe forty
years of commitment is something to celebrate. Instead, Bill and
Howard prefer to spend their anniversary privately, perhaps replaying
that romantic encounter of long, long ago that launched the love of a
lifetime.
BYRON CENTER
Gerry Crane, the gay music teacher who came out to his students last
November, is under vicious attack by some members of the local
community. Leaflets that target Crane are being put under car
windshields at churches in the area.
In addition, a packet was mailed to every parent of a child who was
enrolled in the Byron Center district. Included was a copy of the anti-gay
video, "Gay Rights, Special Rights?" and a 100 page book titled "Setting
the Record Straight," which uses shock techniques to describe gay sex.
Another item was a letter that called for support in getting Gerry fired,
and was signed by 25 community members and leaders.
The weight upon Gerry Crane is great right now, and this new
development is extremely stressful. In addition, he faces teacher-parent
conferences and an administration who would like him gone.
NFIWORKING 45°NORTH
THE BOOKIE JOINT
15
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
SUPERMAN continued from page 11
clicked, the Nun's hat blew off and my brother came crashing and rolling
down the hill. My parents ran to his rescue.
My brother didn't fly that day. Actually, he ended up with a broken
tail bone and, like Superman, embarrassed and upset that his ultimate
performance was a failure. I really didn't think it was a total loss. Honestly,
it was the ultimate performance. I didn't savor the fact that my brother got
injured, but I must admit the whole scene was pretty amusing. On our way
to the hospital, I promised my brother that Iwould leave the life as a super
hero if he would not try to fly again. He agreed.
I have looked back on that comical time in my life and have been
very thankful. Our creative imagination and childhood innocence are
something we should always keep and value. Even though all of us have
matured and gotten older, its our dreaming and imagination that fuels our
soul. It's often these qualities that pulls us through when it seems the world
dislikes us or refuses to listen to us because we are gay. When it is all said
and done, we are all superheroes.
UNTITLED
Joe Morgan
As I light three candles
(gifts from the man with the most beautiful soul)
acknowledge my weakness
invoke the spirits in my own voice for the first time
to finally recognize the Signs they have given me
which will lead me to the peace
my body and soul need to grow,
I take the hand of the spirit
place one thought in front of the other
and retrace my journey.
They were the offspring of those
who, In the name of "God,"
invented or blessed the invention of the machine
the one that casts the shadow.
"Dad! I want..."
I was angry with the ones who exposed me to life and death
and couldn't show me Life and Death.
"Somebody! Anybody! Where are my teachers?"
"They are sleeping,"
replied my weak and gender-balanced soul
"Listen to me."
"Your heart speaks the truth
and the truth will set you free.
Loving and receiving love is not a crime.
You are beautiful.
Life and Death are both beginnings.
They are beautiful."
From the pain I grew stronger
but I only trimmed the week of evil with my earthly senses
I tasted of pure foods and water
touched the Earth lightly
watched life directed by the sun
and listened to music
all the while leaving·the roots unharmed.
"Child" calls the voice of my mother now
"take this hoe with me
and let us sabotage the roots of the machine
cause it to wither
and dispel its shadow.·
"Together· she says
"we shall wake my mother and her mother and her mother
call them to a sacred place
ask them for their guidance
and listen to their wisdom."
A solitary child had been crying since he was born
mourning the incompatibility of his physical and spiritual
a reflection of the soul crying out
for an initiation by the wise ones
who have fallen asleep in the shadow of the machine.
Our ancestors speak to me with sad but hope-filled eyes
"Take the hands of your brother and sister
and labor to clean the world from
its paralyzing epidemic of soul-barrenness
so that tomorrow you can walk together in peace."
"Mama! I need .. ."
I feared the ones who taunted me
for looking like a boy and acting like a girl.
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
PROFILE; McCORMICK &MOLNAR
by-John Evans
"We've always wanted to play brothers, because people tell us
we look like brothers."
Matt McCormick and Guy Molnar will get their wish in the
upcoming musical at the Old Town Playhouse, "Secret Garden".
"We get to sing this magnificent duet together ... It is the best song
in the show!"
Guy went on to say how often when they walk into a store or a
restaurant the sales clerk or waiter will ask, "You two brothers?" And
they just say "yes". (When, of course, the correct reply is "No, we're
sisters!")
Matt and Guy met at the Old Town Playhouse in early 1991
when Matt was auditioning for a play which Guy was directing. He
was given the male lead.
"I fell in love with him while I was directing the play ... He didn't
know I existed. At least that's what I thought." (Matt uttered a sinister
little snicker at this point)
Guy has been living in the Grand Traverse area since January
1990 when he came up from South Carolina to be a hall counselor at
Interlachen Arts Academy.
With a bachelor's degree in music and biochemistry, he had
gone to medical school for two years.
"I hated it, so I quit and got a master's degree in piano
performance in New York City. But I realized eventually that I didn't
want to finish a doctorate. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do so I
moved back to Charleston, SC. I got wiped out by Hurricane Hugo ...
lost the place where I worked and lost the place where I lived."
While he was living temporarily with his parents in Carolina the
call came through from IAA for the counselor job and he was in
Michigan in a matter of a few days.
Matt came to the area in 1988 from Flint where he had been
working only eight months. A friend encouraged him to interview for
a job with Traverse, the Magazine which he did. Within a few days
he had a job offer and moved to Traverse City in August that year. He
stayed with the magazine until last August. He is now working with
Alitho Graphics.
While at the magazine, a co-worker who had done some acting,
suggested they go down to the Playhouse and get involved. "I thought
this would be a great way to meet people. I've always wanted to act, but
never thought I could do it. I wanted to get involved behind the scenes.
We did props for "Sweeny Todd" in the spring of 1989. And then when
they had auditions for "Biloxi Blues", I auditioned and got a part, and
that sort of unleashed this passion that I had buried for so long."
Matt had roles, major and minor, in most of the plays after that.
Guy was involved with many of them. Jeffrey was the first play in
which they both had roles. Producing, directing, set design, and
acting- both men have filled those jobs at various times over the past
five years.
My first awareness of Guy was at the Michigan Ensemble Theater
production of The Fantastics.
"That was a pretty bizarre experience. They asked both of us to
understudy the show because they didn't have any understudies.
NE1WORKING 4S°NORTH
17
About a day or two
after we agreed to do
that there was a dustup between the
producer and the
male lead and they
fired him and called
me at one in the
morning and said
will you take this part
and I hadn't even had
a rehearsal. I learned
the part in two days
and went on."
Guy's two years
in medical school
came through for
him: "I learned to
assimilate
huge
McCormick &Molnar
amounts
of
(This shot is 'November' from their upinformation in a
and coming colander [well not really but
it's a good idea])
short time. I wasn't
able to do that
before. I don't think it's an innate ability. I think it is a learned skill. ..
You just had to do it. You had to cover so much ground so quickly,
and that has stayed with me."
Matt did his studies at Northern Michigan University where he
got a degree in graphic design and commercial photography. That
prepared him not only for the job as art director on Traverse, the
Magazine, but also for designing sets for many of the productions at
the Playhouse.
During this period of education Matt was seeing his high school
sweetheart whenever time and distance permitted. They became
engaged to be married but eventually broke up.
"That was a rough thing. I still feel real guilt about that because
she is such a wonderful person and I just love her to death. She's
getting married this June. But the thing that was hard for me
personally was - Well, I'm the golden boy of the family on top of
everything else. Compared to my brothers and sisters - they're not
rogues or anything, but I'm the only one who has gone to college,
and my parents never liked any of the people my brother or sisters
have married, and here I come with this wonderful girl whom they
just worshipped. So when we announced our engagement they were
overjoyed. Then when I broke it off, I couldn't give a reason except
that I didn't want to be married - I didn't know that I was gay ... I
suspected it but I couldn't even face it at this time."
Guy interjected: ''That's why when we met I was so depressed. Iwas
falling in love with this guy and I couldn't get any kind of read on him.
Couldn't tell if he was gay or not. One night we all went out to Mabel's
after rehearsal and at some point he mentioned that he had once been
engaged but had called it off. And I thought, AH, there's hope!!"
Guy didn't know he was gay until his early twenties.
"I had had a couple of relationships with women but I came to
realize that I was gay. I did have one pretty serious relationship when
I was in graduate school with William. William broke up with me in
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
a particularly callous and insensitive way - over the phone. The
reason that the end of the relationship was so devastating to me was
because I was so emotional and was always desperate for some sort of
connection and with William I had really taken my time and been so
careful and still got my heart stomped on. That was what led me to come
out to my parents. They were just about the only two people that didn't
know. They were still trying to fix me up with eligible women."
The first person Matt came out to was Guy.
'We never really dated. We saw each other socially after the play that
I directed. We got to know each other more and more and became fairly
good friends but we were not what I would have cal led close until he came
out to me. About a week after that we had dinner together and that was it."
As the interview continued we spent a good deal of our time
together talking about relationships in general and what makes them
work. A certain degree of independence was one element we felt was
necessary. Also, the readiness to talk when differences arise.
Guy commented: "People can never believe us when we say we've
never fought - we don't argue ... One of the reasons we were drawn to
each other is that we're not fighters. Both of us are very pacifistic and
diplomatic. And would much rather talk about things than get in a huff."
Matt: I can count on one hand my whole Iife when I have raised my
voice. Yelling or arguing - I don't see the point. Something always
happens when you do that. You end up saying something you wish you
hadn't. .. You can't take it back.
Guy: It took me a while to learn how to be angry when I am angry.
But I think both of are also good communicators and we learned how to
say what needs to be said without getting out of control.
Guy admitted that he is learning from his boss at the OTP how to
have an argument!
Another reason their relationship works is that they have a good
balance between their work lives and lives together. Also, each has his
own friends and they have friends in common.
Matt: "And enough similar interests that we can do things together
such as gardening, or whatever, but our interests are also different
enough that I can pursue something on my own.
Guy: He's so passionate about photography. And I'm not big on
pictures. They're greatto look at but I never think about taking them. And
I still have to get used to the fact that he always has a camera with him.
The doorbell rang and an expected visitor joined us. We soon
wrapped it up. I came away from this interview inspired and
strengthened by these two men and their unique relationship. They
manifest that combination of strength and gentleness that cannot be
characterized as either masculine or feminine, but simply human.
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18
HIGH SCHOOL SERVES LESBIAN, GAY
AND TRANSGENDERED STUDENTS
By M'Lynn Hartwell
At first glance, it seems like any other high school classroom. Students
are scribbling notes in science workbooks as a teacher hovers over them,
correcting mistakes. Blackboards list assignments, and posters on the wall
mark the historical achievements of gays, women, blacks, Latinos and
others.
Suddenly, one pupil clutches his stomach and complains about
nausea from a dose of AZT, a drug used to combat AIDS. A friend nods
sympathetically across the room, and the teacher inquires gently aboutthe
boy's condition.
"It's just one more problem we face here," says the instructor, after
the teenager has left the room. "When you rurr a school like this, you're
dealing with a very special group of folks."
At the Harvey Milk alternative school, a three-story building on the
fringes of Greenwich Village, New York, the phrase "teen-age years" takes
on a new meaning. Founded in 1985, it is the nation's only public school
for gay, lesbian and transgendered students.
For mostAmerican ;i.dolescents, high school is a time of social growth,
sexual awakening and intellectual blossoming. But it can be a traumatic
experience for gays and lesbians., some of whom are harassed by students
and teachers and drop out of mainstream schools.
The Harvey Milk School, named after the gay San Francisco
supervisor who was assassinated in 1978, is a refuge for such teenagers. A
recent survey of the student body showed that more than 58 percent of
them had been beaten up by their peers and feared that they would never
be able to complete their education.
'We're talking about kids who have been humiliated and ostracized,
and for whom there is no other place to go," says Joyce Hunter, a licensed
social worker with the Hetrick-Martin Institute for Lesbian and Gay Youth,
which set up the school with the cooperation of New York City officials.
Hunter tells of a 15-year old boy who dropped out of a New York
City high school after a physical-education instructor berated him in front
ofother students and ordered him to sit in the girl's gymnasium. A 14-year
old lesbian, weary of being harassed by her peers, stopped going to school
and told counselors that she felt safer hanging out on street corners than
spending time in the schoolyard.
On a typical day at the Harvey Milk School, 15 to 20 students attend
classes, out of a total yearly enrollment of 40 or so. Attendance is erratic,
given the pupils' histories and their fears about rejoining a school routine.
Potential students are referred by a variety of social agencies, and
administrators decide who will be admitted. Although pupils of all sexual
orientations are welcome, only a few heterosexuals have ever enrolled.
For most of the teenagers, the overriding problems are not algebra or
physics, but isolation and self-doubt During a recent creative-writing class,
one Harvey Milk student wondered whether he would ever be able to fully
express his gay identity in straight society. "I don't think I fit in anywhere,"
he said. "I don't know where the line is that I shouldn't cross. Maybe I'll
always be alone." Another student, wearing a bright red bandanna,
answered him, saying: "If you wanted to fit in, you'd be wearing a threepiece suit and going to work on Wall Street every day for a stockbroker.
But that's not who you are."
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
FEEDBACK:
Well, I plunked down my $15 and ordered a copy of "The Gay
Agenda," the anti-gay videotape produced by The Report, a multimedia anti-gay organization (you know, "know thine enemy ... "). It
wasn't nearly as outrageous as I expected, but it is brilliantly produced,
aimed at a very specific target audience. It includes interviews with a
psychologist who "cures" gays, two "ex-gays," and a couple other
"experts," all telling us how frightening gays are, how obsessed with
sex they are, etc. There's also footage of gay pride parades, protests,
and demonstrations, focusing from time to time on little kids in the
marches (of course).
What struck me the most was that most of what they were showing
didn't seem that extreme to me - lots of drag, lots of men in g-strings,
signs that said "Fuck," people dancing suggestively and miming sex
acts, some women with bared breasts. And the experts talk about how
gays practice oral sex (gasp!) and anal sex (double gasp!), etc. Of
course, they also talk about "golden showers," fisting, and scatting.
But when I thought about who the video's target audience was, I
realized how incredibly well-done the thing was. It played to every fear
"I hadn't been going to church for five years, because I
couldn't believe in anything. I wanted something I could
relate to as a woman. A lesbian woman."
"It was the same for both of us. Walking into a Unitarian
Universalist service and feeling immediately at home. We felt
welcome. We didn't have to be different people-we could be
ourselves."
"We could be together ... a couple. And no one was going
to kick us out."
"It goes way, way beyond tolerance. Unitarian Universalists
encourage diversity. And acceptance."
"I mean, not everyone is Ozzie and Harriet, you know?"
THE UNITARIAN UNNERSALISTS
for the location of a congregation near you, call:
1-800-464-0336
NElWORKING 45°NORTH
19
and sexual hang-up that older, middle-American small-town folks
have. The most amusing part was the descriptions of "disgusting" gay
practices like S&M, etc., that are just as prevalent in the straight
community. Of course, they don't mention that straight people do this
stuff, too. Whoever wrote and produced the video really knew what
they were doing.
Also with the video I got a list of their other videos that you can
buy:
''The Gay Agenda" ($15) - The documentary that sent shockwaves
through the Pentagon. Experts examine the impact of the homosexual
movement from various perspectives: legal, medical, psychological,
political, and sociological.
''The Ultimate Target of the Gay Agenda - Same Sex Marriage"
($20) - Gay activists are now setting their sights on perhaps the most
crucial "prize" of their movement - same sex marriage. "The Ultimate
Target..." examines all facets of this most critical of issues and arms
concerned citizens with the power of knowledge and understanding
essential for effectively combating this profoundly dangerous
campaign.
"Stonewall: Twenty-Five Years of Deception" ($15) - This
investigative documentary traces the history of gay activism and
uncovers the inner workings of homosexual organizations. What
consequences will society face, if their well-organized, well-funded
campaign goes unchallenged?
"The Gay Agenda in Public Education" ($15) - Why are
homosexual activists suddenly so interested in a safe sex curriculum?
Is it genuine concern that is motivating them, or is their sudden interest
merely a smoke-screen designed to desensitize to the dangers of the
homosexual life-style? Are children being taught responsible behavior,
and the real health risks associated with promiscuity and perversion,
or are these important items replaced with lessons on how to tolerate
perverted behavior as being merely different, not deadly?
"The March on Washington" ($15)-Seethe March on Washington
that you did not see on your local or national news coverage. Find out
how the media is no longer reporting, but promoting the homosexual
lifestyle. Who really is marching for civil rights? When the homosexuals
were trying to put their best foot forward they still behaved bizarrely.
This video is approximately 15 minutes long and is very shocking and
thought provoking.
"Gay Pride" ($15) - With society's growing concern over the
excesses of homosexual behavior, it might have been expected that
1993's Gay Pride Parades would have been toned down, if anything,
the images captured by The Report's camera are more shocking than
those seen in "The Gay Agenda."
"Civil Rights or Crisis in America" ($15) - Reveals a graphic
modern day Sodom and Gomorrah; viewer discretion is advised.
Shows Gay activists protesting in the streets after the veto of the Gay
Rights bill, etc.
"AIDS: The Unnecessary Epidemic" (a book, $18.95)-American
Under Siege, the frightening story of how the AIDS and Gay lobbies
have been able to prevent physicians from monitoring or controlling
this epidemic.
To order any of these call 800-462-4700. You know these videos
are going to be all overthe place in this election year. We need to know
what we're up against. - From Chaz 64@AOL.COM
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
MESSAGE OF HOPE
FOR SEXUAL MINORITY
keep in touch with our roots. I've learned that one of the best ways to
eradicate a group of people is to take away their history.
"An organization like this helps give sexual minority kids a sense of
belonging,
which is very important because lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
By Amy Adams Squire Strongheart
transgendered
youth are so isolated. After meetings a lot of times, we just
Adam Rosen is a teenager who probably has learned more about
life and humanity in his brief 17 years than most of us learn in twice that hang out and have coffee like other kids. Being part of this group has
time. That's because Adam is gay, and being young and gay during the helped me be able to socialize normally. I actually had to learn to be
reign of Newt Gingrich and Ralph Reed forces reality on you part of a group."
The day I finished my interview with Adam, I learned that state
prematurely. For Adam, this has been a positive experience.
Senator
John Russell, a Republican from Lebanon [MO] had introduced
The day we chatted, he was breathless with gratitude for past
Bill
600, which would make the use of any so-called proSenate
experiences and enthusiasm for future possibilities, stumbling over his
homosexual
materials in Missouri public schools illegal. Any pamphlet,
words in his haste to share his message of hope for other gay youths.
book,
or
poster
that has a positive message about persons with a sameAdam is one of three co-hosts for the radio show, "Gay 90s." "It is
sex
orientation
would be banned. References to homosexuality in
the only show in the country devoted entirely to lesbian, gay, bisexual,
conjunction
with
instruction on AIDS/HIV would be allowed, naturally.
and transgendered young people. Not even New York or San Francisco
Adam told me about a friend who was consistently assaulted at
has one!" exclaimed Adam, obviously proud of the work he and his
for being gay. Administrators insisted that the problem was the
school
colleagues are doing.
young
man's
sexual orientation and not the homophobic bravado of his
"We hope to help others like us, who have few resources for coming
classmates.
The
student was forced to leave his high school and enroll in
out as gay people. I was fortunate in that I was able to find a number of
another
one.
library books on same-sex o~ientation and read them on my own, but a
Legislation such as SB 600 encourages such violence, alienation,
lot of kids are too frightened to search out the support or don't know
By ensuring through force of law that gay kids would be
and
transience.
where to start. On the show, we want to help those kids find the
rendered
invisible
or seen only in the false light of disease and
resources. For upcoming broadcasts we are going to offer book reviews
10 percent of our nation's most valuable
perversion,
approximately
of gay or gay-themed books and inform listeners of help available
resource will be put in harm's way.
through the computer.
Sadly, not all sexual minority youths are able to overcome the odds
"Our program is very important, I know this because after we did
and
find
their way as well as Adam has. Although many do carve their
our show on the suicide of gay teens, we got so many calls and letters
in
the world, contributing to the good of society through their
niche
from gay and straight youth alike, saying how necessary it is to keep
service,
art,
and parenting, many succumb to the lure of oblivion through
people informed about how isolated gay kids can be in our culture to let
drugs,
alcohol,
and suicide.
them know that they aren't alone."
In
1983,
20-year-old
Bobby Griffith managed a back flip off an
In 1989, under the Bush-Quayle administration, the U.S.
overpass
into
the
path
of
an
oncoming tractor trailer. Bobby knew from
Department of Health and Human Services issued a report on youth
the
age
of
15
that
he
was
gay,
but his family and religion had imparted to
suicide. The report concluded that lesbians and gay youths accounted
for approximately one-third of youth suicides and that suicide was the him that being gay was a sin. It was a conflict for which he could find no
leading cause of death among gay male, lesbian, bisexual, and resolution, except to deny himself in the most literal way possible.
A month before he plunged to his death, Bobby wrote in his journal:
transsexual youth.
life is over as far as I'm concerned. I hate living on this Earth. I think
"My
Knowing from my own experience of adolescence how easy it is to
God
must get a certain amount of self-satisfaction watching people deal
become morose from lack of affirmation and a sense of belonging, I
with
the
obstacles he throws in their path. I hate God for this and for my
asked Adam if he had ever considered suicide.
existence."
"Well, I've basically always been optimistic, but my coming out was
still very turbulent. I was depressed. Since I love music, Ijust threw myself [EDITOR NOTE: Amy Adams Squire Strongheart is a journalist at the ST.
into my music studies. I saw the movie "Amadeus" and I even started LOUIS POST DISPATCH and this is a reprinted COMMENTARY,
writing my own requiem. But I never attempted suicide. I just ignored published on February 2. She is online at CAStrnghrt@AOL.COM]
myself for a long time."
"When I finally came out to my parents, I was lucky because they
were supportive, unlike some of my friends' parents. My mom said she
"always knew'' because in elementary school and junior high I kept
getting pushed, shoved, and hit for being different. Mom would go to
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My dad is a clinical psychologist and is very proud of me."
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"Growing American Youth is a great support group. I've been
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we're doing. Sometimes we have speakers or projects. We usually read
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Dave Forbush
about some prominent gay person or event in gay history. This helps us
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
AT SUNDANCE, THE MOVIES ARE
ABOUT LESBIANS
PARK CITY, UTAH - Lesbians, paint-sniffing trailer trash, and
psycho killers - that was the bill of fare, or at least part of it, at this
year's Sundance Film Festival.
Spurred by the art-house successes of "Go Fish" and "The
Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love," a bumper crop of
lesbian films were prominently featured in this year's showcase including "Late Bloomer," a comedy about a lesbian wedding;
"Everything Relative," described as a lesbian slant on "The Big Chill";
"Tender Fictions," a documentary by Barbara Hammer; and "Bound,"
a lesbians-vs.-the Mob thriller with Jennifer Tilly as a sexy Mafia chick
and Gina Gershon (the "Showgirls" femme fatale) as the ex-con who
pulls her into a $2 million heist.
Lesbian characters also pop up in "Precious" ... "Freeway" ... and
"Losing Chase," the big-screen directing debut of actor Kevin Bacon,
which pairs Helen Mirren with Bacon's wife, Kyra Sedwick.
The best film I've seen while movie-hopping is "The Celluloid
Closet," the gays-in-cinema documentary by San Franciscans Rob
Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, which could bring Epstein his third
Oscar. (By Edward Guthmann, SF Chronicle)
FREEDOM
Nor TO MARRY KIT
Recently, I was reading one of the many glossy gay magazines I
get. There's a sentence you never used to hear. No more plain brown
wrappers for us! The only magazine I insist come under wraps into
my neighborhood is "The New Republic."
Now, all manner of gay magazines with "out" in the title are
mailed openly to post office boxes all over the country. "Out and
About" - gay travel. "Trout" - gay sports trolling. "Doubt" - a
magazine for bisexuals. "Pout" - The Log Cabin newsletter (great
article about Bob Dole returning gay money).
And OK, I wasn't really reading. I was looking at the pictures.
We've got pictures! Famous gay people. Famous dead, suspected gay
people. Famous gay half sisters playing ministers at gay weddings on
hip, gay-friendly shows. Gay cruises to take. Gay things to buy. In
between the ad for gay real estate and gay colonies ("Swallow a
B
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- Catalogs - Fliers
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WORD PROCESSING, lYPE SETTING
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PAGE LAYOUT, GRAPHICS
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arker Creek Nursery
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prism, shit a rainbow!"), I spotted an ad for "The Freedom to Marry
Kit". Of course, I wondered, "Who is Kit?" And why do we want to
marry her? Or him?"
It was a very androgynous "Ask Pat" moment. I could understand
the Freedom to Marry Melissa. Or the Freedom to Marry Martina,
with very clear, signed prenuptial agreements, of course, but this Kit
thing had me mystified.
Turns out the FTM kit is designed to help concerned gays
organize in their municipalities for the freedom to marry! Now if I
were into handicapping, sorry, predicting the next issue for gay
people to get het up about, it would not have been gay marriage.
I would have thought our issue would be violence against gays witness the murder in Oregon of two known lesbian activists.
Investigators think the motive was robbery. Like rainbow-colored
freedom rings are hard to come by.
Or I would have predicted we would be organizing around the
Supreme Court's upcoming ruling on the Colorado amendment, or at
least having a small action to protest that the Clinton Administration
did not even see fit to file an amicus brief.
I would have thought we would have been out in the streets over
health care, given the cost of caring for people living with AIDS and
the disproportionately high rates of breast cancer among lesbians.
But no, the issue du anno burbling up in the gay movement is
the Freedom to Marry. Go figure.
I have applied rigorous self-criticism to understand why this issue
does not exactly knock the dots off my dice. It's not the first time I
have had to work up enthusiasm for a gay issue.
Gays in the military was a challenge. Instead of thinking that I
was enthusing about gay guys convincing their dads that they were
man enough to kill other men, I got there by thinking of it as a jobs
program. Not full steam. Think vaporizer.
I have examined my reluctance to hop on the gay bandwagon
with the "Just Married" sign and tin can tails rattling up the street. Of
course I believe that gay people should have the right to marry, and
have equal access to all benefits accruing to straight married people,
but for myself, I prefer living in sin.
The freedom not to marry was always one of the things I enjoyed
about being gay. So was the freedom not to have children. Because
so many gay people are having children - they definitely have that
thrill-seeking gene - it follows that they would want the civil
protections of marriage for those children.
Don't get me wrong. I will take any thing which gets new gay
Whitewater Landscaping & Lown Core
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
peo~le incensed, interested, involved in the gay movement. I'm just
having a very Peggy "Is That All There Is?" Lee moment.
It's hard to be gay and a people pleaser. This FTM minimovement seems to be fueled by a desire to show that we can be
upstanding citizens, with children, and that we will keep sex within
the confines of marriage. As if.
Instead of spending time on the freedom to marry, I think we
should try to talk straight people out of getting married. It's not going
well for them: Enid/Joe; Nicole/O.J.; Di/Chuck/Camilla; Lisa Marie/
Michael. This would certainly cut down on a whole range of civilservice jobs. See, I'm doing my best to balance the budget.
If there had been this freedom to marry when I was a child,
would it have meant that I would not have had to hide crushes? If it
meant that I could go home and say to my Irish-Catholic mother, "Oh,
Mom, I just met the most dreamy girl! I asked her to an Earth, Wind,
and Fire concert and she said yes!" And my mother would joyfully
say, "Oh, honey, that's wonderful. What do you love about her? Will
you practice safe sex? Oh, no Wait, you can't until you are married."
If , big if, that is the net trickle-down effect of the Freedom to
Marry movement, I'll stop saying "marred instead of "married" as
soon as I get my multi-colored FTM card. I've got to register my china
pattern: gold-leaf entwined women's symbols on a purple
background. (from THE PROGRESSIVE, March, 1996, UNPLUGGED
by KATE CLINTON)
Gay and Lesbian Group Picks Favorite Pix, TV
Series
by Ted Johnson
HOLLYWOOD-"Boys on the Side," "Carrington," "Home for the
Holidays" and "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar,"
were nominated as the best studio films by the Gay & Lesbian
Alliance Against Defamation.
GLAAD has handed out nods since 1989 to recognize
outstanding media coverage of gays and lesbians.
The group will announce the winners during its' Media Awards
on March 7 at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York, and March 1Oat the
Century Plaza.
Nominated for TV series were "Courthouse," "Friends," "NYPD
Blue," "Party of Five" and "Sisters."
The group announced award winners in other categories. "The
Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love" was named
outstanding independent film and "Serving in Silence: The
Margarethe Cammermeyer Story" won outstanding TV film.
Other winners: daytime TV, "All My Children"; documentary,
"Ballot Measure 9"; TV documentary, "The Question of Equality";
magazine, Glamour; album, Boy George, "Cheapness and Beauty";
song, Jill Sobule, "I Kissed a Girl"; comic strip, "Maggie Sawyer,
Special Crimes Unit"; Los Angles theater, "End of the World Party";
and New York Theater, "A Language of Their Own."
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Sidney Sheinberg, former president of MCA, will be given the
s~ecial Vanguard Award for his leadership in lesbian and gay equal
rights.
Barbara Walters will get the Excellence in Media Award for her
covera~e of gay and lesbian issues; including her interview with Greg
Louganis; and "The Celluloid Closet" will get the special Vito Russo
Film Award. The documentary, about portrayals of gays and lesbians
in film, is based on Russo's book.
GLMD also will give a special award to M.A.C. Cosmetics for
advertisements using RuPaul and transgender images.
Crossing Boundaries
A recent candlelight vigil in Washington DC for Tyra Hunter, the
transgendered person who died last August 7th, served to bring
together a broad constituency of communities. Protesters say Hunter
was allowed to bleed to death, after a car accident, when medical
rescuers ceased giving assistance upon discovering Hunter was a
transgendered person. Jokes were made, and the medics were heard
laughing. Subsequently, Hunter died in DC General Hospital.
Cathy Renns, co-,chair of the DC Chapter of the Gay & Lesbian
Alliance Against Defamation, said, "I have never seen a cause that
crossed so many boundaries: gay and straight, black and white." The
vigil drew more than two hundred demonstrators, and included
everyone from local residents to activists, as well as men in suits and
men in drag. Hunter's tragic death has outraged a myriad of groups.
Fire officials deny that the medics stopped assisting Hunter,
although they do admit a derogatory comment was made by one
technician. The outcry from the public regarding Hunter's treatment
has caused the fire department to re-open its investigation. In
addition, pressure from various groups helped to initiate sensitivity
training for fire department workers. The department is attempting to
correct its mistreatment of minorities and gay people.
The Washington Post covered the vigil, and the circumstances
surrounding it, with balanced accuracy.
We Deliver
The United States Postal Service has implemented a new
personnel policy regarding discrimination against gay/lesbian/
bisexual/transgendered employees. Post Master General Marvin
Runyon issued the following statement: "The Postal Service is
•
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1081 S. ~irport ~ad'West, 'Traverse City, 'MI 49686 (CoU:mia!Square)
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
Univjjjj[1~111l1i1fjjij ~~I11rH11li1i~~'ilii~1l11d,OK
Property of the Center
M 001 111 469
committed to ensuring a workplace that is free of discrimination ...
We recognize and value our diverse workforce and are committed to
the fair treatment of all employees. Harassment and disparate
treatment based on actual or perceived sexual orientation or identity
will not be permitted or condoned in the Postal Service." The USPS
Diversity Office in DC said they announced the policy on August 31st
of last year.
A non-profit organization that struggles for this and other antidiscrimination statutes is the International Conference on
Transgender Law and Employment Policy, Inc. (ICTLEP), which is
headquartered in Houston. After hearing of the USPS policy, ICTLEP
Executive Director, Phylis R. Frey, commented, "I believe that the 'or
identity' language along with the 'or perceived language was
probably designed to cover the transgender community."
New Domestic Partner Benefits "From the
Ground Up"
Beginning January 1, 1996, Kaiser Permanante will extend
domestic partner benefits to all of its employees and physicians, who
number over 70,00, in both the Northern and Southern California
regions. Benefits will be available to any couple, whether the two
people are of same or different genders. The couple will have to meet
the usual domestic partner requirements.
Kaiser Permanente is one of the larger companies in the United
States to implement such an employee benefit.
FOUR MINISTERS TALK TO
LOCAL
P-FIAG
staff writer
Forty-five people are crowded into a Sunday School classroom in
the basement of Grace Episcopal Church on a rainy Wednesday night to
listen to four local ministers.
THE TOPIC: The Bible, homosexuality and where their churches
stand on the issue.
THE MINISTERS: Emmy Lou Belcher, from the UnitarianUniversalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse; Ed Emheiser, Grace
Episcopal; Joe Kelly, Friends of the Light; and Geraldine Colvin, Unity
Church.
Religion and HIV status are the two biggest issues parents of gays
and lesbians have, says Jeff Erno, a P-FLAG member who organized this
panel.
Before the panel begins, local P-FLAG president Cindy Robb plays
two television ads sponsored by the national P-FLAG. Very few stations
nationwide will air them. The ads link anti-gay religious rhetoric to two
major forms of violence for gays and lesbians.
One ad shows a teen-age girl committing suicide; the other a
teenage boy being chased and killed by a gang of other boys, while
religious right leaders Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson thunder that
homosexuality is an abomination, according to the Bible.
"It just appal Is me that that can come out of the same Book I have
read and that has been part of my journey," says the Rev. Ed Emheiser
from Grace, referring to the ministers in the two videos. "And that's very
painful to me to say. Yes, I am Christian and so is that because it is so far
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from what I believe."
Scripture, he said, is to build people up, help them grow, nurture
them, to be true to their lives and to celebrate who they are and "not
have to live in hiding."
"Scripture is not to be used to destroy people, to separate people, to
denigrate people-and that's what I find so, so appalling.
"lfwe look atthe Scriptures, what are we going to be fundamentalist
about?" he asked. "You know, handicapped people in the Old Testament
were said to be outside the pale, to say nothing about the role of women."
He pointed to the passages about Sodom and Gomorrah-a favorite
used by anti-gay religious leaders. The issue in that story was hospitality,
not homosexuality, he said. And in those passages, Lot offered his
daughters to the angry crowd.
"There are many passages like that where it says it's fine to abuse, to
murder women," Emheiser said. ''You can use Scripture for whatever you
want to use it for, yet people hone in on gays and use that to destroy and
abuse many people who are trying to be faithful Christians."
The issue of homosexual marriage ceremonies and ordination of gay
and lesbian priests is a big one now in the Episcopal Church. The
presiding bishop has said there will be no outsiders in the church, but
marriages and ordination are still not authorized.
For the Unitarian-!Jniversalists, homosexuality is not an issue, The
Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher said. It has openly gay and lesbian clergy and its
ministers also perform same-sex union ceremonies.
But, U-U didn't get where it is today without a lot of internal strife
similar to what is happening today in many denominations.
"We just did it earlier," she said.
Her general attitude about the Scriptures is that they contain
important truths about living and life, but also are time- and culturebound.
"Many of the things that are attributed to be anti-homosexual were
not so in terms of the times people were talking about," she said. "I think
someone needs to know about the history of the time of the Scripture."
"Scriptures are not the end of revealed truth," she said. "We believe
in continual revelation, which means that things change. We understand
more. We think differently and do differently and are not meant to stay
in 4000 B.C."
The Rev. Geraldine Colvin said Unity doesn't take an official stand
on homosexuality and it's not an issue in the church.
She said the question that comes up for her when she hears religious
leaders condemn homosexuality is "What is their concept of God."
"So much of what is our concept of God comes back to our concept
of guilt, fear and sense of self-esteem," she said. "In the Old Testament,
it's interesting to me that the worst, most negative characteristics of
human beings are attributed to God-the vengeful, wrathful, hateful
God. It is not until we get to the New Testament and the teachings of
Jesus that we can shed light on the Scriptures."
A lot of abusive things are done with the Scriptures in churches
across the world, she said.
"The Scripture that stands out to me is that Jesus said, Ye are the Light
of the World. And he never said that excluding anybody."
Joe Kelly, the Friends of the Light minister, said he could not speak
for the Quakers, but only for himself. His national meeting has a negative
stance on homosexuality, which he said is not shared by the local
meeting. He said he doesn't share that view because of a pastoral
VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996
relationship he had with a man dying of AIDS who asked whether he
could become a member of the local meeting.
"And there was no other answer, of course, other than the answer
that God would have given," he said. "And that answer put me through
a transformation in dealing with this question."
"The Bible says a lot of things," he added. "One of the things it says
is Do Not Kill. As a society, we've done some interesting things with that
It also says "Don't Charge Interest," and we've done interesting things
with that."
His meeting refuses to get drawn into the war over homosexuality
because it only creates hurt.
"And we take the position at the meeting that we are to love
regardless of whatever issues there are."
time! This suspense "thriller'' casts these two as a gay couple who are
bank robbers. You know, like Bonnie and Bonnie? Everything goes awry
when three cute but stupid boys pull a prank that screws up the thieves'
plans. From there, it's blood, guts and lots of bad dialogue. Having
Rourke and Baldwin play wackos in the same movie seems like cruel
and unusual punishment. The biggest laugh is that this flick is set in the
S0's, but Mickey sports a tan leather jumpsuit and enough gold jewelry
to make him look like a rapper-Mickey D?
Lie Down With Dogs, starring and directed by Wally White. This
movie has a small budget but a big imagination. It's an autobiographical
comedy of one boy's summer getaway to Provincetown. Of course his
fantasies don't match up with reality and there are lots of laughs about
the customs and rituals of P-town.
Priest, starring Linus Roache in the title role. Yes, this is the movie that
got the Catholic Church's hassock in a bunch last year. Homosexual priests!
Aaaaagh! Whoever heard of such blasphemy?! Well, the nay sayers should
have seen the movie first. But they probably still would have bitched since
the Priest questions the whole Catholic approach to morality. His
By Rick Gould homosexuality is actually a secondary plot issue and there's just verrry
Over our long and bitter winter, I rented many movies. One pleasant discreet sex----this isn't Priest Porno. The most moving part of the movie is
surprise, aside from finding my control with the slo mo, was how many the man's helplessness in trying to rescue a young daughter from her father's
gay and lesbian films are being stocked at our local video stores.
incestuous advances. The finale has the priest coming back to the pulpit after
There's two reasons I think. One is that gay and lesbian subject having been busted by the cops for public sex. The young girl is the only
matter is no longer "shocking." Although gay/les themes are becoming person who'll take communion from him and the last scene's a tearjerker.
more common, it's television that has broken the taboo. Al I the comedies
Showgirls, and boy, do they show 'em! The other controversial
have done a "gay" episode. Friends has two lesbian characters who movie of 1995 tells the tale of an ambitious young stripper (dancer! she
recently married. Roseanne has done the most gay and lesbian frequently barks) who upstages the reigning toast of Las Vegas. Elizabeth
characters, with entire episodes devoted to them. NYPD Blue made a Berkeley is the young tootsie with the hard center and Gina Gershon is
gay character a regular due to popular demand. Melrose Place has the the star she makes toast of. They are both hilariously awful and so are
long-suffering Matt, who may be that way because he never has mucho their tacky clothes, hair and makeup. Gershon, with the biggest lip curl
on-screen sex like M. P.'s other inhabitants. This and all the hot since Elvis, lusts after the young dancer, and does everything to get in
commercials and videos has wised up mainstream America a little. The her G-string. She doesn't but after the young girl pushes Gershon down
other reason is that independent films are in vogue. I guess people have a staircase (to get the star spot, natch,) Berkeley lays a big kiss on her at
gotten tired of Arnold's $200 million blow 'em ups. These smaller films the hospital before leaving stardom and Las Vegas. This is lesbianism
come with less financial pressure. So, studios have taken a chance and from a straight man's point of view-maybe that's why the movie is so
there have been winners like The Wedding Party and The Crying Game. funny.
What's changing is that video stores are catching on that there's an
Here's what is being advertised in stores as upcoming:
audience for these "art-house" flicks on video. Thank you, we can't
To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. This movie
always rely on the Bay Theatre! Now, amid walls of Waterworld and Die made it on the big screen only as far as Elk Rapids. But the rest of the
Hard With a Vengeance, there are single copies of movies where gay U.S.A. made it a surprise hit Patrick Swayze got good reviews as the big
and lesbian lives are explored, not buildings being exploded. Here's the sister drag queen and John Leguizamo was touted as stealing the show
ones I've noticed:
as a Rosie Perez-type gal. Wesley Snipes deserves credit for doing a
Bar Girls is a slice-of-life comedy drama taken from Lauren Hoffman's dress-up instead of another shoot-'em-up. The word was that Too Wong
play. This is kind of a Big Chill-type ensemble with lesbians. The lead bar Foo is a pleasant sitcom-type movie, but it eats Priscilla-Queen of the
girl is worried that a Saturday morning TV show she's created is going to Desert's bus dust.
be compromised by a male character, and a sympathetic one at that! Look
Unzipped is the hit documentary about designer Isaac Mizrahi's
quick for Chastity Bono as one of the bar girls-she's the one that looks putting together his 1994 fall line. The tension here is that his previous
like Cher before all the plastic surgery.
line has flopped, so Miz Isaac is hauling out the big guns (supermodels
Jeffrey is given a just okay on-screen translation. The main problem Cindy, Kate, etc.) and the big attitude. All he needs is a Prissy to slap
is that Steven Weber is bland as the man who's afraid of sex in the age of while he's trying to deliver! The previews for this Truth or Wear looks
AIDS. Maybe his role as Randy Brian on TV's Wings wore him out. like fun. An Isaac moment shows him, hands on hips, examining Naomi
However, Paul Rudnick's humor still shines through; Star Trek's Patrick Campell's newly pierced navel with alarm: "Oh, Naomi! That's coming
Stewart is excellent; Michael T. Weiss is a hunky Steve, and there's an out!"
array of funny big-name cameo appearances.
Obviously, not every video store may have all of these films at one
Fall Time, with Mickey Rourke and Stephen Baldwin. A waste of location. So call ahead and they can head you in the right direction.
VIDEO STORES FEATURING GAY AND
LESBIAN FILMS
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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • MARCH/APRIL 1996