LesbianPrideNewsletter_v6.no11.2001.11.pdf
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VOLUMNVI, ISSUE11, November2001
© 2001 MAKAW,, , \
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Jumping the gun on the holiday spirit
by Marilda Mel White
I know I'm a bit old-fashioned, but I really liked the old days
when the Christmas season didn't start until the day after Thanksgiving. This year it got started way before Halloween.
Last month I saw Christmas decorations in K-Mart and WalMart before I saw witches' hats or Shrek ears. I wonder if jumping the
gun on Christmas displays before we even changed the clocks has
something to do with the events of September 11. No one knows quite
how to "go about our normal lives" these days, but it still seems a
little abnormal to me to start one holiday while we're still in the middle of other ones.
I like all of the holidays usually, although I spend more time •
and energy on some than I do on others. It's been a long time since I
was excited about a new Easter outfit or attended services in that sea-·
son, but I have had much fun through the years coloring and hiding
hardboiled eggs. It's not one of the big holidays for me now, but I do
still enjoy a bite of chocolate bunny, and I always remember, in my
own way, the meaning of the Easter season.
As for Halloween, it's not a biggie for me either, even though J
know it's considered a day (or month) offestivities for gays and lesbians. In days gone by I used to dress myself up and go to parties (the
best ones being on Castro Street in San Francisco in the 80's), and I
always had a fine ol' time. More recently, though, my favorite part is
seeing other people dressed up in shops and restaurants and treating
myself to a bag of bite-sized 3Musketeers candy bars.
Nowadays it seems I prefer holidays like Memorial Day, Labor
Day or the Fourth of July, when I might go camping or have a bar-bque or see a parade. The emphasis for these holidays is on doing
things with friends and family, and I really like the idea of being with
2
people I enjoy and not thinking so much about spending money on
disposable seasonal things.
Thanksgiving - also known as a great football day - is another
favorite time of mine, usually spent with friends, eating all day long.
But the food is mostly healthy (i.e. not candy), and the holiday is not
about spending money. It's the conversation and the company - sharing a meal and rooting for our favorite teams - that I always remember; time spent with friends is what I'm most thankful for.
Christmas is another holiday that's supposed to be about family
and being together, but it has grown into a holiday that seems to be
mostly about spending money and getting and doing things. Even
when we find joy in giving gifts to those we love, we also seem to be
under a certain amount of pressure to spend a certain amount of
money or do a certain number of things - private parties, work parties; dinners and open houses; cocktail hours and Christmas concerts;
Christmas plays and church services; and shopping, cooking, decorating, and mailing cards.
I don't want to be rushed into the buying and pressure part of
the Christmas holiday, but it's all around me. The stores have already
cleaned out the garden supplies and stocked the shelves with trees and
lights, yard signs and roof statues, cards and gifts galore. I'm seeing
everything from outdoor fireplaces to indoor water fountains that all
proclaim to be the PERFECT gift to buy for that special someone this
Christmas.
But perhaps this year we need the spirit of Christmas and
Thanksgiving in our lives earlier than ever, and if the stores are anxious to get their displays up, maybe that's okay. When I realize that
other parts of the holiday spirit are also with us weeks ahead of time, I
can live with the stores shoving reminders at us.
Many of my friends have mentioned that they think people are
being a little kinder to each other and more appreciative of each other
- and smiling more at each other - since September 11th• They also
say they are more apt to get into interesting conversations with strangers these days, and they are willing to give other drivers the benefit of
the doubt. According to news reports, people are traveling more to see
relatives and friend these days, wanting to reconnect and just be together. Donations and volunteerism are up everywhere. There seems
to be a little more love in our corner of the world.
These all sound like really good examples of the true holiday
spirit to me.
. Maybe the whole winter holiday season has, in fact, started
early - not just the spending part, but the best parts. In fact, maybe it's
a darned good thing, especially this year, to jump the gun and rush
into the spirit of the holidays a little early after all. ~
3
Knowing our history; ensuring our future
by Billy Glover
Just as the attacks of 9-11-01 have forced us to think about our
nation's history and what we as a people stand for (such as equal
rights, etc.) we must work to preserve what previous generations have
given us - the greatest nation in the history of mankind. We must not
let religious and political fanatics destroy this effort to bring freedom
to all nations. .
And just as it only took a few good citizens to start this long
journey for us as a nation, we should also, as homosexual citizens,
look back and learn how a few good people started the work to bring
us equal rights.
Some people met in secret in homes in 1950 to start learning
about themselves, and the meetings spread all over Southern California and into other states. From these meetings came public outreach
(the original group still exists today as ONE institute and Archives, an
adjunct library at the University of Southern California). They
dreamed that someday later generations would be able to march
proudly down main streets across the nation and have full acceptance
in jobs, homes; churches, colleges, government and society.
Today that dream is close to reality. But it seems that many
young homosexual men and women may be tested as the pioneers
were if they fail to carry on the fight...just as all Americans may be
tested if they fail to learn their history and educate themselves to
know why our way is better than that of the Taliban-types.
We should take the time to visit a gay/lesbian library or archive
or community center and see what has been done and what still needs
to be done. We must also work to preserve our nation - homosexual
Americans must work to finish the journey to equal/civil rights.
We can read gay papers to learn wliat resources are there to
join and support, from churches, to front-runners clubs, to college
groups, to reading clubs and travel groups. Only ONE existed at one
time, now hundreds of groups and places exist. Think what it must
have been like in 1950 when Harry Hay, Dale Jennings, Rudi Gernreich and others started the journey; and when Don Slater, Dorr Legg,
Jim Kepner, moved it along and across the nation. And when Frank
Kameny, Barbara Gittings, Del Martin, Phyllis Lyon, Barbara Grier,
Jack Nichols, Clark Polak, et al, started more publications, started
picketing for justice, appearing as homosexuals for the first time on
radio and television and in the general press (allowing their pictures
and names to be used, not knowing what would happen to them).
Think, remember, and get involved. And then enjoy your life
today, as an American - as a homosexual/gay/lesbian/dyke/faggot/
queer/trans/bi American. Ll
4
I am grateful today
I can appreciate my life without discounting
the hard parts. I confront difficulties in my
same-sex loving, in my dealing with injustice,
in getting through each day. There are blessings as well as hardships in all that I do, in all that happens to me, and in all that the world is.
With gratitude I name the goodness that is mine. I ~ee
the positive and negative in the same circumstance. W7uch
do I choose to emphasize? I can pity myself for the hard lot
I have been given, or I can see an opportunity and work
with it. I can spend my time mourning what never can be,
or I can move ahead and make the best of what I have.
Today I will dwell on happiness. I take ene~gy from <i;ll
that benefits me and move forward in the promise of exciting adventures to come. I appreciate my_life and wha~ I am
called to do with it, starting with the tnvial and moving to
the momentous. All of it is significant and enhances my
existence. Thank you, Universe!
- Eleanor Ruth Wagner
Lavender Reflections
Reminder:
No matter what you have
or haven't done,
or how you are or aren't being ...
you never deserve to be berated
or "beat up on"
by yourself or anyone else!
If that's happening,
remember to remind yourself,
and anyone else,
that you are a tender, delicate being,
truly doing everything you can
in this moment to grow yourself
into sanity and realness,
in the midst of this
crazy-making world!
- Robyn Posin
Rememberings and Celebrations
www.forthelittleonesinside.com
5
(Edit?r 's note: Thefollowing l~tter was issued by Robert Dodge,
President of the National Lesbwn and Gay Journalists Association.)
Dear Fellow Journalist:
Since the September 11 attacks, many of us have been touched
by countless accounts of heroism. Americans learned about how ordinary people became extraordinary in a moment. We know about these
people because journalists in print, online and broadcast have told
their stories. We know much about their lives, families and friends
and what made them special because those details were revealed in
newspapers, magazines and on the air.
At least we know much more about the heterosexual heroes
and victims.
But many Americans may be deprived of knowing about the
gay heroes. That is because some news organizations have selectively
chosen to obscure or ignore the sexual orientation of some of those
who also lost their lives.
Consider the story of Franciscan priest Father Mychal Judge,
the chaplain of the New York Fire Department who was killed while
administering the last rites to injured rescue workers at the World
Trade ~enter. Although Father Judge was openly gay and often
':orked m the gay community, this fact went unreported in many stones generated by the mainstream press.
.
Mark Bingham of San Francisco was amono the heroes on
United Airline~ flight 93 wh~ t:ied to overpower hijackers and prevented the Boemg 757 from h1ttmgtargets in Washington, D.C. Bingham -:vasalso openly gay. He was planning to play on his gay rugby
team ill next year's Gay Games in Sydney.
Then there was David Charlebois, the first officer on American
Airlines flight 77 that crashed into the Pentagon. Mr. Charlebois, a
l??t;lar vete~an ~ilot, was a member of the National Gay Pilots Assoc1at1on.He h:ed m ~ashington, D.C., with his partner of 14 years.
Some Journah~ts may embr~ce outdated ideas that identifying
openly gay ~nd le_s~tan.heroes will cast a negative image on their
me~o~. This dec1S1?n1s based on a 1>.resumptionthat being gay or
!esbrn~ 1s wr~ng, a bias that works completely against news objectivity. W1thholdmg relevant details about these lives their partners and
families is unfair and hurtful to the people they lov~d.
In our mission as journalists, it also denies readers and viewers
!nformation about the true identity of those who are in the news. It
ts the same as withholding information about the spouse, children and
other features about the heterosexual heroes.
.
:1/hat about legitimate concerns about "outing" someone, or
dtsclosmg the sexual orientation of someone who preferred privacy?
We suggest more and better reporting.
continued-.
6
~~**
~
by Stacy Chandler
SCORPIO
October 23 - November
22
Exquisite taste you possess.
Only the best is yours for the asking.
You are an existentialist
by nature, but never an extremist.
You are always extra careful
with your loved ones. *
* BE WARNED- THE VIEWS EXPRESSEDABOVEDO NOT
NECESSARILYREFLECTTHE AURAOF THE COSMOS!
continuedfrom previouspage
Instead of asking whether the victim was married, it might be
better to ask if he or she bad a partner. This basic question may open
the door to fmd out more about the subject of your story - including
the chance that they were heterosexual and had a significant, romantic
relationship outside of traditional marriage.
Denying and obscuring the existence of gay and lesbian people
is a form of discrimination. Withholding the sexual orientation of
these individuals, especially when inconsistent in equal coverage
about heterosexuals, will leave readers and viewers with only the
negative stereotypes of gays and lesbians. News organizations that do
so may find themselves having taken a biased editorial position that
affirms those stereotypes.
I invite you to call on NLGJA as a resource; you may reach me
at 202-661-8414 or Pamela Strother, NLGJA's executive director, at
202-588-9888 ext. 11. NLGJA website: http://www.nlg_ia.org
Robert Dodge President, NLGJA
7
I
So many stories, so little time
This month we are pleased to begin running the book
review column On SacredGroundby Joy Parks.
Joy, who came out in her teens and 'whose work has appeared in many lesbian publications ever since, began the
"reviewing" part of her career with The Body Politic. After a
time-out from writing to explore the world of advertising, Joy
is back. ..well, on sacred ground.
Joy makes her home in Ottawa, Canada (with her partner
of 15 years) and writes about lesbian books for a number of
publications including LambdaBookReport,Girlfriendsand Gay
& LesbianReviewWorldwide(in addition to several GLBT community newspapers).
We're glad to be offering On SacredGroundhere in LPN
(page 12), for along with InSightOut' s monthly Top 10 list
(page 18), it seems likely that none of us will ever run out of
good things to read!
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71,.e;Lc:ttie,,L~vlde,,
'Rectde-rThis little 60-page booklet - chock full of good thoughts,
positive reminders and inspirational messages is now available for only $5 postpaid, such a deal!
Features works by Stacy Chandler, BB Goode,
Lee Lynch, Robin Posin, Mel White and
that perennial favorite "Author Unknown."
Mel White, PO Box 130, Tehachapi, CA 93561
Do you know about... ?
GayOutdoors.com
GayOutdoors.com is a totally free, cutting-edge, online gay
outdoors community and we invite our gay, lesbian and bisexual
friends to be part of this incredible experience! We cover it all, from
hiking to camping to skiing and mountain biking. We provide everything you need for the gay outdoors and are affiliated with over 200
gay outdoor clubs from around the globe. We are a non-profit group
in existence for the past two years and wanted to share the news about
our revamped web site with everyone.
We have special features to help you improve your outdoor
skills and help you buy the latest outdoor gear. We have the most
comprehensive online Gay Outdoors Adventure Calendar anywhere!
Here you can sign-up online to participate in a free outdoor activity
held near where you live. That's because all of our activities are run
by volunteers just like you. Over 200 gay outdoor clubs worldwide
post selected trips in our Adventure Calendar so you can sample what
they have to offer. Our Adventure Calendar is completely automated.
To post a trip, you simply fill out the form at the web site and it posts
immediately for everyone to see!
You don't want to miss all the things you can do at
http://www.gayoutdoors.com: find a local gay outdoor club near
where you live that you can join and participate in their events; meet
other members with similar interest to you; receive our terrific weekly
e-newsletter called 'Trail Mail', where you will get updated on the
latest events being posted, read trip reports sent in by members, find
out about the latest stories added to our web site, learn about special
offers and much more. Li
It t~
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-GertYuite,St~
9
by Lee Lynch
The Geographyof Gay: New York City
Sometimes I'm just in love with the world.
Really, my home town was my first lover. New York City embraced me, educated me, somehow shielded me from its hidden
threats. Long before I came out and learned that it was the gay capital
of the world, it was like a glamorous woman, resplendent in Christmas finery, elegant in bright colors that sparkled in the black velvet
nights. I fell hard for her, with her rushing trains and movie palaces,
infinite number of circus rings and her siren voice, half cacophony,
half symphony.
On the day of the attacks I spoke with a sister New York City
expatriate. When I told her that I kept thinking the words, "My city,
my city," she cried, "That's exactly what I've been saying!" When I
got to the anger stage of my grief I found that I was incensed. "How
dare they mess with my town," I thought.
We can't help it. Educated in New York City schools in the
1950s and 1960s, we were taught that New York was the best city in
the best country in the world. I spent years studying its history, geography and culture. I was told that there were other important places in
the world. But in my heart only New York mattered.
To this day I love to read books set in New York. I collect art
books about New York. Lover knows she has to sit through all the
titles of a video if they're, as they often are, superimposed on camera
work.depicting New York. I guess I've never fallen out of love.
This is all very foolish; I haven't lived in New York for over
thirty years, haven't visited in a decade. The city doesn't age and I
can't keep up with her any more - she wears me out. I love her from
afar, she who has been beloved by more lesbians than she cares to
recall. Yet I notice my accent, never before strong, is reasserting itself. Is this an unconscious gesture of my devotion? I am heartsick
that I am not among her healers. Yes, I sent a little money, but she's
been wooed by billionaires and her wounds will require their ministerings.
Sometimes I think that I might not have come out at all had I
not been seduced by this vamp of a femme. But then I am appalled at
!he thought - a breeding life as a heterosexual is completely unimagmable and to me. No, I would have come out, just later. I am so grate10
ful to have started my conscious gay life where even Beebo Brinker
lived. I walked in the streets where Willa Cather and Gertrude Stein
once walked.
I wonder if people who grew up in Kabul are as chauvinistic
and proud about their home town.
New York City was my playground. As kids, Suzy (my first
human lover) and I could - and did - spend fifteen cents on the
subway, swaying at the front window of the cars, to travel to the harbor, to Broadway, to an airport or ballpark. We could ride underground or walk the canyons of Lexington Avenue. A nickel got us a
romantic ferry ride. We slid along the slick floors of Grand Central
Station and hung out in the greatest museums of the world and shadowed the dykes of Greenwich Village.
Although my parents saw New York as the enemy, I think it's
the best gift_they could have given me. Of course they were right, I
was sucked mto the underworld of gay life. And I was right - it was
a glorious underworld. They thought the city was dangerous, but I
found it safe. Suzy and I were never evicted from museums for making out. No gay adult so much as spoke to us. No bar let us in. We
learned through experimentation like the baby dykes in Sereneville
USA. The difference was that I knew from day one that we were no;
the only lesbians in the world and from day two that lesbians were as
happy and productive as anyone else in New York. I knew these
things because I could see my future self diddy-bopping down the
street and I was in love with her too.
The World Trade Center was built after I left, but I went back
and rode the tourist elevator to the observation floor. I remember that
the huge windowed room, like the city, easily absorbed the crowd. I
remember hearing many languages spoken around me as I went from
window to window. I remember marveling like the non-natives at my
own home town. I wanted to brag that I'd grown up there, to somehow
claim as mine the vast majestic sight of the busy little island surrounded by her blue blue waters. But that's the magic of New York
we all fit in there, we can all be proud of the imperfect democracy that
thrives on our wealth of languages and cultures and allows us to come
out as whoever we are.
Cop!Jrig/1/
LeeLynell2001
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11
en sacred
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ground
by Joy Parks
It's a mystery to me
So what's the deal with lesbians and mysteries? While I admit
I'm not a big fan of the genre, the sheer number of lesbian mysteries
being published gives me a good reason to take a closer look.
Not your average who-done it, A Questionof Sabotageby Bonnie J. Morris is engaging, if for no other reason than its setting. It involves a series of life-threatening sabotages that take place at a
women's music festival. There are some rather interesting romantic
sub-plots and once exposed, the motivation behind the sabotage has a
credible, political edge. But what is most compelling is how well th_e
author has captured the atmosphere of the festival, the wonderful diversity of the women who attend and the almost tangible sense of
freedom that was, and still is, the goal of these women-only spaces.
Experiencing it through the eyes of the brilliant but inhibited Ceci
Sobol and watching her grow more empowered as the book unfolds is
far more exciting than the sabotage plot. Both "festi-virgins" and veterans will enjoy this rare look inside the music festivals that continue
to keep lesbian culture alive and well.
The UltimateExit Strategyby Nikki Baker contains what has to
be one of the funniest lines ever uttered by a narrator: "I needed a
drink the way a Peter Pan collar needs some nice pearl earrings and a
matching necklace." The story is set in a cutthroat investment firm
where greed is rampant and no one is above suspicion. Add in the
usual trouble-making ex-lovers and power-hungry co-workers and the
result is sure to appeal to devoted dyke detective fans.
With Night Mare, Franci McMahon has accomplished a difficult feat. She has written a mystery that will appeal to readers who
don't read mysteries. And she has achieved this through an original
plot and strong characters. Despite her wealth and privilege, horsewoman/freelance journalist Jane Scott is one of the most credible and
likeable characters I've met in a long time. When she gets too close to
discovering why prize horses are being stolen or killed, she is kidnapped and left for dead in a Montana field. Miles, a lesbian rancher,
comes to her rescue and a very comfortable, warm relationship soon
develops between the women. It's apparent that Miles is the first
woman in Jane's life to care more about her than her money. And in
dealing with Jane's close friendship with a straight married woman,
McMahon deftly presents the realities of a situation seldom braved by
12
lesbian writers. Franci McMahon has a gift for character development
and a way of engaging readers that makes Night Mare a truly worthwhile read.
Sacred Classic: The Sophie HorowitzStory
So who is to blame for this mystery mania? I think I know. In
1984 Naiad ·Press released what was then, and remains today, one of
' entertaining books in lesbian literature. Much of this book's
the most
charm comes from the sheer irreverence of the title character. Sarah
Schulman's The Sophie HorowitzStory is a satirical tale that goes far
beyond a simple mystery. The plot is complex and original and the
writing is fresh, funny and powerful. Sophie Horowitz, sometime reporter and amateur detective, is one of the most irresistible characters
ever created. The twists and turns she takes to discover the whereabouts of radical underground feminists Germaine Covington and
Laura Woolf will have readers on the edge of their seats one moment
and rolling on the floor laughing the next. Granted, The Sophie
HorowitzStory was written as a novel with an intriguing plot, not as a
genre mystery. And it shows. Whether you like mysteries or not, this
is one book you shouldn't miss. It's a definite classic and well worth
the search.
Ask for these books at your localfeminist bookstore:
The Questionof Sabotageby BonnieJ. Morris,Bella Books.,$1l.9
The UltimateExit Strategyby Nikki Baker, BellaBooks,$11.95
Night Mare by FranciMcMahon,Odd GirlsPress, $13.00
The SophieHorowitzStory, by Sarah Schulman,Naiad Press
(Checkused book storesand on-linesourcesfor price and availability.)
HAPPILYEVER AFfER
by
Stacy Chandler
$12 ppd.
SPECULATORS,INC.
P, 0. Box 99038
Troy, Ml 48099
ISBN 0-9639185-0-8
13
DomesticPartners Update
Governor Gray Davis recently stood side by side with Paul
Holm, the former partner of Mark Bingham (one of the passengers
who died after helping to overpower hijackers on the flight that
crashed in Pennsylvania), to sign a domestic partnership bill that
would extend important protections to California families.
To date, eight states and more than I 00 cities have passed domestic partnership laws. t:i
Sappho's Solutions
uccessfu1 Living
Dear Savvy Sappho - How can I be more thankful this Thansgiving? - Signed, Empty
Sydney 2002 Gay GamesExceedsAll Expectations
The Sydney 2002 Gay Garnes VI recently smashed its early
participation target by over 150% with over 6,000 people from around
the world confirmed to come to Sydney - one year out from the Gay
Games Opening Ceremony on Saturday, 2 November 2002.
.
"We are absolutely thrilled," said Sydney 2002 Gay Games VI
Board Co-Chair Peter Bailey. "Our scheduled target for the end of the
Early Registration process on 31 October was 4,000 participants.
With 6,040 people registered, we are 2,000 over our original target.
"The viability of these Games is now firmly cemented. It's a
great encouragement for our sponsors, partners and the community at
large - these Gay Games are going to be great and the world is definitely comingto Sydney."
·
The current total participation cap for the Sydney 2002 Gay
Games VI is 14,000 - this includes 11,500 participants in the Sport
Program and 2,500 for the Cultural Program. In addition, it is expected over 1,000 people will participate in .the Global Rights Conference Program as part of Sydney's Gay Games.
• Sydney 2002 is targeting 50% men and 50% women participants. Women's registrations for Sydney 2002 are currently sitting at
30% - 4286 men and 1764 women.
"The participation of women has increased from around 12.5%
in May this year to 30% now - and rising - which is encouraging.
We will be targeting women around the world in our upcoming marketing and communications plans," said Co-Chair Bev Lange.
To date, the USA leads the way with 2295 confirmed registrants followed by Australia with 994. Other leading countries are:
Germany with 671; The Netherlands at 530; Canada (who will host
the 2006 Gay Games in Montreal) with 452; the United Kingdom
close behind with 347; and, New Zealand on 240. Other countries
represented include Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Greece, Gibraltar, Chad, the
Czech Republic, Bulgaria, Brazil and Argentina. !:i
14
Dear Empty - One way that ·mighthelp is to fast for the two days
prior to Thanksgiving.This will makeyou ven; gratefulfor thefood
which you eat. And another,donateyour time to a soup kitchenand
seeand experiencethejoy of others.- SS
Dear Savvy Sappho - My girlfriend and I enjoy two different
kinds of music. I like country & western, and she favors classical. How can we share our love of music together?
- Signed, Noteworthy
DearNoteivorthy - The good neivs is that yes, you most certainly
can shareyour love of music with eachother!Expandyour listening
realm - classicalmay grow on you. And remember,with all of the
personallisteningdevicesavailabletoday,eachof you can enjoyyour
own music without disturbingthe other...even while you're snuggled
up together!(A reallygood set of ear plugs couldn't hurt eitherfor
otheroccasions.)- SS
This month's Sawy SapphicSuggestionsfor SuccessfulLesbianLiving by Stacy Chandler. If you have a question, send it to
SS % Makaw, PO Box 130, Tehachapi, CA 93561
LAVENDERREFLECTIONS
by Eleanor Ruth Wagner,
A book of affirmations for lesbians and gay men;
Meditations & quotations with photos & holiday entries;
A great gift for yourself and for those you love.
Personally autographed by request;
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15
h~ l:.esfie
.McGirf
The Return of a Sense of Humor
Well, it's been a busy time, hasn't it? It's been a crazy, busy,
freaky moment in the history of, well, us - our particular era here on
the planet. We're really making some special history now. I mean,
really making history. How will we get out of this one? My goodness!
The destruction of the entire human race is pretty big!
How about that anthrax? That's one for the books. Golly! I'll tell
you what: that could shake a gal up. I caught myself on the day we
(we? me?) bombed the Taliban (gosh, I speak of it so casually like
"yeah, the day we drove to the airport to pick up grandma") ... Anyway, the day the United States began the bombing of Afghanistan, I
caught myself actually peering through the blinds to see if it was safe
to go outside. I went with little hunched shoulders and tousled hair
over to the window and peeked outside. I had to look first. I had to
think about it. Was it safe to go outside? Who was out there? What
was waiting for me? And then I had to smile at myself, and my sense
of humor began its slow recovery. You'll see from this article that it's
still a bit damaged.
•
I laughed, and since that moment, things have been different.
Things changed. The ice kind of started to melt, and instead of just
sitting there waiting to die, I actually started preparing. Then the immensity of that task threw me into a state of procrastination, and I
started suppressing the emotions associated with that instead of the
emotions associated with dying of anthrax exposure, and I started
sleeping better. There's nothing like the sleep of a womon suppressing
emotions about putting off today what needed to be done many yesterdays ago. I highly recommend it. Overwhelming is good; anticipation - bad.
So, I got some sleep, and then partner and I started putting our
affairs in order. We have a tremendous estate which I fear many relatives secretly covet. There are many evil people in our families who
would want our things: my evil sisters and their evil offspring; a particularly wicked brother; and then, there's Mom. She really bares
watching. Then there's the IRS, the religious right, and, finally, terrorists. Oh. They're not potential heirs, are they? Nevertheless, I'm
listing them here anyway. They're all people I fight in my head these
days.
Our estate, like I said, is huge. There are our respective cars her '85 Volkswagen, my '89 pickup. Our mower. Oh, and our guitars,
16
the stereo, our shoes. Gad, our lovely wool socks we ordered from
LLBean! l forgot about them! But, most importantly, there is our little
half-finished house that presently is only in my name. So, partner and
I are setting up a new warranty deed stating the house is owned jointly
- Joint Tenants WROS. You have to say it that way - "Joint Tenants With Rights Of Survivorship." Survivorship being the time honored, cherished state of having survived. It has a lovely ring to it, ey?
I reckon that's for us!
But owning our home as JTs with ROS doesn't solve everything.
New issues arise as to what happens to our socks and shoes in the
event of both our deaths, say, in a automobile accident, or something
more sinister. You know, a head-on with a tractor trailer sounds pretty
soothing these days. Anyone with me here? You're driving down the
road, happy, perhaps just returning from a camping trip, singing
"Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall!" when suddenly, WHAM!
Or you can take your pick from the current mess of ways to die: anthrax, bombing, Christian lynch mobs. I like the one where we're
singing and we don't know what's about to happen.
So you can see how I am these days. I can't say that life has really
returned to nonnal, but it certainly did go on. My sister became enraged when I told her we would leave everything to the ACLU. She
isn't really even sure what the ACLU is, but one thing's for sure - it
ain't her. She believes she has a right to everything I own and she
lives life accordingly. Case .in point: I went through her underwear
drawer and found my wooly socks and a missing bra, of which I own
two. I wear one until it falls apart, and then J have the second one for
backup - funerals, weddings, and heterosexual males.
Gosh. How'd I get onto underwear? I had better hit the save button and wind this ramble up. It's probably safe to assume that that last
image of a crusty old bra clinging to my poor old bosoms indicates a
good place to stop (or maybe a little bit prior, ey?) But I'm not dead
yet. l wanted you to know. I'm tough. 1 can take things. I will be difficult to kill. It will happen, but it ain't happened YET! I'm defying the
odds today and living with new purpose, and my sense of humor, battered and tom as it is, is leading the charge. It has to. The other parts
of me could not. ~
IQLeslieMcGir/
I
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Your "easy chair" may be a cushion in a window seat or a
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enjoy a good book! Below is this month's TOP 1O of GLBT
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by Ricardo
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3. ANDY WARHOLby Wayne Koestenbaum
4. THEMARBLEQUILT by David Leavitt
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HERLAND
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