LesbianPrideNewsletter_v8.no5.2003.05.pdf
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And on a little bit lighternote...
ThingsMy Mother TaughtMe
VOLUMNVIII, ISSUE5, May 2003
C2003MAKAW
A Mother's Story
Inspirationalspeakerand author,Macy Lou Wallnerwill be the
specialguest speakerat the Cathedralof HopeMother'sDay services,
May 11, in Dallasat 9 and 11 am and in OklahomaCity at 6:30 pm.
Wallner,who lost her lesbiandaughter,Anna,to suicidein 1997, will
share her daughter'sstory,as well as her ownjourneyfrom ''tragedy
to transformation".
Raised in a conservative,fundamentalistchurch environment,
Wallnerwas taught that homosexualitywas spirituallyand morally
wrong.However,after her daughter'sdeath, she was faced with the
spiritualimplicationsof her refusalto accept Anna's homosexuality.
"Anna'sdeathbroughtme face-to-facewith the untruthI have been
taughtthroughoutmy lifeby the church,"said Wallner.
In her book The SlowMiracleof Transformationshe detailsher
journey from ignoranceto acceptance."My transformationhas occurredthrougha wonderfulgift givento me by Godand I am honored
to call these LGBT children of God amongst my closest friends. I
have a sincere desire to see the church accept and welcomeLGBT
peoplejust the way Godmadethem."
Wallner,who resideswith her husbandBob in Elgin, Illinois,is
an active memberof ReverendMel White's (no relation to LPM's
editor) Soulforcemovementand a frequent speaker at conferences
acrossthe countiy,
Led by Rev. MichaelS. Piazzaand Rev. Dr. Mona West,Cathedral of Hope is the world's largestliberalChristianchurchwith a primary outreach to gay, lesbian and transgenderedpeople. National
church ministries,outreachprograms,counselingservicesand Internet and televisionmedia,touchthousandsof lives each day. For more
information
on Cathedral of Hope, please visit
www.catherdralofhope.com
2
l
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: If
you'regoingto killeachother,doit outside;I justfinishedcleaningin
here,II
My mother taught me religion: Youbetterpraythatcomes
out
of thecarpet!
My mother taught me about time travel: If you don't
straightenup I'mgoingtoknockyouintothemiddleofnextweek!
My mother taught me logic: BecauseI saidso, that'swhy.
And more about logic: If youfall outof thatswingandbreakyour
neck,you'renotgoingto thestorewithme.
My mother taught me irony: KeepcryingandI'll giveyou
somethingto cryabout.
My mother taught me about the science of osmosis: Shut
yourmouthandeatyourdinner,
My mother taught me about contortionism: Willyou lookat
thedirtonthebackofyourneck!
My mother taught me about stamina: You'llsit thereuntilall
thatspinachisgone.
My mother taught me about weather: Thisroomof yours
looksasif a tornadowentthroughit.
My mother taught me about hypocrisy: If I toldyou once,
I've toldyoua milliontimes-don't exaggerate!
My mother taught me behavior modification: Stopacting
likeyourfather!
My mother taught me about anticipation: Justwaituntilwe
get home, and about receiving: You'regoingtoget it whenweget
home.
My mother taught me about medical science: If you don't
stopcrossingyoureyes,theyaregoingtofreezethatway.
My mother taught me ESP: Put yoursweateron;don'tyou
thinkI knowwhenyouarecold?
My mother taught me genetics: You'rejust likeyourfather,
My mother taught me about my roots: Shut thatdoorbehind
you - doyou thinkyouwerebornin a barn?
My mother taught me humor: t,\lhen thelawnmowercutsoff
yourtoes,don'tcumerunningtome.
And finally, my mother taught me about justice: Oneday
you'llhavekids,and I hopetheyturnoutjust likeyou! ©
NAPPY
MOTHER'S
DAY!
3
Nature affirms the rightru,ss of my loving
It is a well-established sdentific fact that homosexual.
amvity occurs in many species, from bedbugs to the primates. Homosexua1, amlity is as much a part of nature as
sexuaJttyit.self.I celebrate the sexual rainbow shining in the
jinnDrnentof nature.
Today I cast off pronou,wemen:IBof perversion and sin.fidness concerningmy lDving.Moving beyond shame, I let
mysel.f feel, my attractions. I sense the naturalness of my
sexuality in my louem.aking.In coring about my partner, I
.find thejoy I know was intended far me.
& I delight in the beauty of my same-se,c loving, I breathe in its goodness,and it fills my being.
The harmony of nature affirms me, and so do L
~L~
L.ubuutf'rule,
'R.eade.r
A 60-pagebooklet
chockfull of good
thought•, positiver•
mindersand
lnaplratlonal
Messages;
only $5 postpaid,
such a deal!
HAPPILYBV.E'R
AF'1'Elf
a book J,y ltaey Chudler
FREE to good Jeabumbon»_,
$2 for poatage
- Eleanor Ruth Wagner
in Lavender Rejledions
•·············································:
Reminde~
••
Mel White,
PO Box 130,
Tehachapi,
CA 93561
to lpec:alaton, IDe.
•
PO Box 99038, Troy, MI 48099
-••meeeeeeeeeem ■■■ eeeeeeeeeee ■■ e
11
:: GAYELLOW PAGES Informing the lesbian, gay, bisexual & trans- 11
11gender community since 1973, Includes Women's Section and Eth-::
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11er/ng //terally all aspects of Gay and Lesbian //fe" Our World
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10014 (or ask at your local feminist bookstDre)
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LAV.ND•R R.'1.C7'10NS
by llunor Ruth Wagner,
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Medltatlona a.quotation•;
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When change is moving quickly in your life,
it's best not to look much beyond
right where you are in this moment ...
The 11you-that-you-are-now''
is likely to feel overwhelmed
when it anticipates circumstances
that the 11you-that-you-are-becoming"
will be well-prepared to meet
when they actually arrive ...
At such times of great acceleration,
try living in the thinnest slice of nowyou can define!
-RobTJI Polin
Remm7bmngs,111d
CddJrltJons,
a 64-Qhfcls:kof
loving llemir,<kn of fht!
G11:ltM~r's Vo-'%
av.iilable
thtoughRobynPmln,
Box725,Ojai,CA 93024805-646-4518
www.furtlaellttleonesinslcfe.com
Ask futA Cm/og of T11:4su,e
Remembering■
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s
by and © Lee Lynch
I Want My Country Back
I've been reading a much drculated story about a national
stronghold of anti-gay sentiment in Colorado, Focus on the Family.
The poor babies are having a hard time staying afloat. The focus of
Americais definitely not on us gay folk any more, but somehow I
get the feeling that this is only part of the reason why the pwveyors of hate are losing their fobs.Could it be that their supporters
feel they've finishedtheir work? Wasn't it their flock who gave
Bush and his band enough votes that all they had to do was steal
onestate in order to occupy the white house?
It's not that the bigots can retire - wire much too uppity for
their peace of mind. And it's certainly not time for us to Jet down
our guard - homophobia is too strong in them to fade away. So
what is going on with these folks? Are they glued to their 1Vs,
watching reality television Iraqi style? Are they donating to the
Veterans of Foreign Wars instead of to Focus on the Family? Are
we forgotten or just pushed to a dangerous back burner, hovering
above a very low, but not extinguished,flame?
We are such a gentJe people - and so understanding with
non-gays. It's incompremnsible to us that our love is considered
wrong. We snnply and l11IIOClDly
expect that those unfortunate
enough to be straight will,. with tfme, ~ and education, see
the light.We've worked so hard, surely wive won?
That'll be the day. This is no time to put our deflectorshields
down, rebel troops. This is no time to be lulled into trust, to feel
safe. For the first time in my life I believe there really is such a thing
as evil and that it has enthroned itself in our nation's capitol It's
time to build on our gaim, not to take a vacation And as dismal a
prospect as it may seem, it is time to coalitionwith the Denuxratic
Party as we never have before. I believe we're fighting for our lives
with every election.
I don't for a minute thinkwe've been forgotten. I think the war
against us - and wire not alone, the American people of color,
poor people, non-Christians and others get in the way of WASP
imperialism- will eventually be waged on an even higher, more
sophisticated and lethal level if the current administration stays in
6
power. These guys in D.C are serious. H they're going into other
countries and grabbing with impunity anything they believe
should be theirs, if they are defining what is right and wrong, deciding who should do what and how, what do they have in mind
for their own country? They have big brother himself, Mr.
Ashcroft,in mind.
Nor do I believe that the war with Iraq is only about oil.What
is the media displaying - unchecked looting,disorder, darkskinned guys in funny head gear - sound familiar? Is there a litt1e
race hatred going on over there too? Thereis certainly no respect
for the ransacked culture of Iraq. At home our weapon is neglect,
our bomb, the slashing of entitlement programs for the disenfranchised.Is Iraq justanother ghetto will abandon?
I almost despair when I thinkabout who runs this country and
much of the world today: bullies who can send us to war and
tempt warriors to our shores; insuraoce companiesthat have too
much say over whether we live or die; agribusiness that poisons
our food with geneticengineering and pesticides,bankrupts
small
farmers and enslaves poor farm workers; giant food proressors
who dilute our nutrition with additives and fillers for profit; religions that insinuate themselves into government to proselytize and
acaue power; pharmaceutical companiesthat promote products
which could be used to take the edge off a people too angry, too
restive and smart enough to connect the dots; heterosexualswho,
whateVE!'their level of toleraoce, inside are convinced their way is
right.
Helen Thomas, a respected journalist who 1- covered eight
presidents, is quoted as saying, "This is the worst president ever.
He is the worst presjdent in all of American history." And the most
dangerous - the purveyors of hate love him."
The Green Party appealsstrongly to me, and I could not vote
with them. The Democratic Party is our best chaoce to hold back
the belligerenthordes within.The good legislatorsneed encouragement to keep sticking Um necks out. They need the protection of
our numbers and our allegiance.It would be criminal to allow four
more years of greedy men apparently intent on world domination
and the financialand moral gutting of this counlry, No one is more
of an Americanchauvinist than L No onecould be more grateful
than I to have the privilege of living here. I have a respomibility to
defend my country against those who would do it harm. I want my
country back.
7
0n ~11credgroun
by nnd (C)Joy Pnrk:s
witha rawtruthfulnessthatcleanlyruts througha lot of assumptionsheld
by boththe lesbim'gaycommunityand societyin general.But it1s a brave
and necessaiy book. And nwch like the constantpinchamscratchof a
lacy push up bra, it leavesan impressionthat is worth the discomfort.
(BrazenFemme:Queering
Femininii,,,
editedbyChloeBrusl\\OOd
RoseandAnna
Camilleri,
ArsenalPulpPressDi.slrirution
Consortium,
$16.95)
FerociouslyFemme
Oneof the oddestmemoriesI haveof the lesbian-feminist
l 980sis all
the time I spent in the publicbathroomsof the subwaythat rushedme
from worlcto whateverdykeget-togetherI was racingto. In thesedingy
subterraneanrooms,I'd tear off my skirtandblouseand hoseandslipinto
somethingmore suitablylesbian,tradingmy pumpsfor a well-wornplir
of desertbootsand inspectingmy lips to ensurethat any traceof rose or
mauvewas gone. I'd enter those dim umanitary1airslookinglike any
youngwomanon her way homefromworlc(or an instnunentof the patriarchy, dependingon who you asked) and emergelookinglike what I
thoughta lesbianshould.But the androgynousoutfits,likethe imagethey
represented,neverquitesuitedme.
I didn't knowit then,but I was,and amnow,a femme,somethingI
finallyfiguredout after discoveringthe writingsof femmeJemianslike
Joan Nestleand butch writerslike Lee Lynch.I lovedhow they spoke
freelyand lovinglyof lesbiangenders,how they gave me a languagefor
whatI wasandwhit I wanted.AndBraw, Femme:QueeringFemininity, editedby ChloeBrushwoodRose and Anna Camilleriis most definitelypartof my continuingeducationon howto balancebeingqueerand
feminine.
The magic of BrazenFemmelies in the wisdomof editorsChloe
BrushwoodRoseand AnnaCamillerito not attemptto speakcollectively
of whatfemmemeans.h can't be done.Butthereare commonthreadsand
both withinthe
the mostcommonof all is the doublebind of invisibility,
gaycomnnmityand the worlda lalge.E.ditorAnnaCamilleri'&
"Cutfrom
the SarneStone"is an explosive~ aboutbowhighfemmeis a celebration of the powerof becomingstoneand untouchable."gonnaget my girl
body back: this is a work in pro~" by Leah Lakshmi PiepznaSamarasinhais lush, painfulrush of words on sexual abuse and bow
femmebodiesand faces becomecanvasesfor self-expression.
"Whores
andBitchesWhoSleepWithWomen"drawsfromfemmehistot)\ the fact
thatmanyfemmesin the SOsurbangaycommunitieswereprostitutes,and
bow they havebeen renderedinvisibleby a sanitizedlesbianhistorythat
tracesits lineagethroughSappho,GertrudeSteinand sexlessBostonmarriages."FemmeFables,"composedof threebrieftaleson chm andoppor-
tunity,
,ieal0\15)'
andtlliWfficulty
offemme
aging,
byAnwHolh'baugh,
8
Sacred Oassic:MortonRiver Valleyby I.ce Lynch
Whilethereare otherexceptionalanthologiesthat showcasewri~
by femmewriters,suchas The FemmeMystiqueeditedby LesleaNewman or PersistentDesire,editedby JoanNestle(bothhavebeen reviewed
in previouscolwnns),crediblefemmecharactersare rare.One of my favoritesis ParisCollins,in Morton River Valleyby Lee Lynch,the third
book in Lynch's fourpart seriesthat dealswith a communityof lesbian
charactersin a smallworking-cu Connecticuttown.This in itselfis notable;apart from those who pen mysteries,few lesbianwritershave attempted to createa continuingplot or returningcharacters(oneexception
is Maz.oDe la Roche'sJalna serie,but De la Rocheso completelyencodedher lesbianperspectivethat mostreaderswouldneverrecogniz.eit).
MortonRiver Valleyis one of Lynch'slesserknownworksand that's llllfortunate~
it's a strongstorywithpoignantundercurrents
that speakto the
strugglebetweenthe needfor intimacyand the fear of commitment.With
Paris.LynchIesistsfemmestereotypes;therearereferencesto her clothes
andherhairandlipstick,but what shinesthroughis an unapologetic,llllabashedpleasurein whatshebringsto the butch'femmedynamic,both in
and out of the bedroom.Parisis far more"likable"thanmanyof Lynch's
femmecharacters;there's a playfuhJ.e§in her observationson butches'
stancesamgestures,howthe way handsare thrustintopocketsbecomea
language.Too, there'sa willingnessto be vulne.rable,
to makeher needs
known,sensuouslyrevealedin how she comeswxloneby undoingher
her lover's femalebody
lover's tie, in the magicshe finds in llllVeiling
frombeneathits masculinetailoredclothes.Paris'attractionto thesebutch
is whatso credibly
qualities,her desirefor the eroticismof this "~"
definesher femmesexuality.Andtoo, she seemsto eltjoythe knowledge
that as a femme,the invisibilityof her ~ makesit all the more
deviantamrebellious.InMortonRiver Valley.Lynchgivesreaderssomethingrare:a self-aware,COlllpU&Onateandbelievablefemmewithenough
confidencein her femininity to not need wield it as a weapon.
(MortonRiver Valley,by Lee Lynch,originallyJWlisbedby NaiadPress,now
availablefromVariantPress,P.O.Box 1173,Newport,OR,97394,$8.00,shipping
included)
Ask for these books at your local
feminist or alternative bookstore.
9
al>Pho'sSolutiot1S
uccessfuJ.Livin
by .W.CeJ. Y/Vb.1~e
(leaningto the leftsometimes,
leaningto the right other times,
but nevertipping over,hence:
OD the/eye//)
g
y and @ Stacy Chandler
Dear Savvy Sappho, I like the nightlife, but my lover is an
early-call-it-a-nightkind of gal How can we reconcile this difference? - Night Owl
DearOwl,You bothmight makesomeheadway(readcompromise) by you gettingupjust a littleearlier,and herstaying upjust a littlelater,andseehowit goes. - SS
Remembering
The events of the last few month; have affected me personally in many ways. Among them has been the agonizing
reminder that the freedoms and privileges we have today even though we have much to continue to struggle for have come at a great price, and will continue to do so.
It is a price that many have been willing to pay, so that
you and I can praise and support, or negotiate and teach or gripe and moan - as we see fit.
Even our sisters and brothers who would be dishonorably discharged if their lifestyle preferences were known,
have found a way to serve and protect you and me (and an
oftentimes ungrateful and undeserving straight world), and
sometimes to pay with their lives.
This Memorial Day, I ask you to remember those who
have fallen in the battles of war around the world - soldiers both gay and straight - to keep us safe and free, and
to ensure that you and I will remain able to fight our own
battles within for aa:eptan::e and parity. It takes us all to
make this world a better place. ~
Dear Savvy Sappho, My lover keeps saying "Life Sucks!" repeatedly. What should I do? - Concerned
DearConcerned,As soon as possible,sit down and talk to
her. Listen carefulto what she is saying.If it's just a bad
mood,speakpositivelyand be encouraging.
If it's something
moreserious,urgeher to get professional
help. - SS
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
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~Jj-~~{r-
v.;-cr.
~
~
by and© Stacy Chandler
bJ'.I:).
•Q-~
• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
~rule,~~
~
(formerly LesbianPrlde Newsletter,
Mel White/MAKAW Press, owner/publisher
TAURUS
April 20 - May 20
Subscriptions: discontinued;
Contributors receive free copies.
Feels like you're stuck In a china shoppe.
Relax, It's that Insatiable urge to lead.
You'll have to get out of your very own way It takes only one to start a stampede.*
Unsolicitedcontributionsare we/comebut be sure to include
a self-addressedstampedenvelopeif you wantyour
materialreturned;BJ/rights are returnedto creetor.
C 2003 All Rights Reserved
For permission to reprint or use any of the content, contact:
Mel White, PO Box 130, Tehachapi, California 93561
morningland@msn.com
www.mornlngland.net
*BE WARNED- THE VIEWS EXPRESSEDABOVEDO NOT
S ARILY REFLECTTHE AURA OF THE COSMOS!
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