LesbianPrideNewsletter_v8.no3.2003.03.pdf
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VOLUMNVIII, ISSUE3, March 2003
Irish for a...month
by Mel White
My grandmother, Josephine Larimer, whose maiden name
was O'Neil, was quite the Irish lass, complete with a perpetual
sparkle in her eyes and a smile on her lips, an equal love of the
land and language and laughter, and a sincere, deep and unwavering love of family and good .friends.
And because the same day that has been celebrated as St
Patrick's Feast Day for thousands of years - March 17 - was
also coincidentally her birthday, she dearly loved to celebrate
the wearing of the green throughout the whole month of
March.
But then, don't we all? There's an old saying that everyone
is Irish on Saint Patrick's Day, and why not? fm a firm believer
in the. idea that you can never have too many things to celebrate, and an ancient Irish tradition seems as fine a thing for us
all to celebrate as any other.
St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, is perhaps one of
Christianity's best known forefathers, the founder of hundreds
of churches in the Emerald Isle and the converter of thousands
of souls to Catholicism, but the most famous and enduring
story of his efforts has to do with him chasing the snakes out of
Ireland. That story may (or may not) be true - it might be simply a tall tale about a fifth century celebrity - but it is true that
Pat's feast day started as a religious holiday.
Interestingly enough, March 17 falls in the middle of the
Lent season, so the Irish would traditionally go to church in the
morning of that day, and then Lenten prohibitions were
2
waived for the afternoon celebration of food, dancing and
drinking. Now those folks knew how to use common sense for
celebration!
I don't know how many people observe Lent in these more
modern times, but I do know the tradition of raising a glass or
two over a bountiful feast is still the St Patrick's tradition today ... along with the ever-popular parade which, by the way,
was started not in Ireland but in New York City. Yep, the first
St Paddy's Day Parade was in 1762, staged by Irish soldiers in
Her Majesty's army, in order to reconnect with their Irish roots
and bond with fellow Irish soldiers. It worked so well it became
an annual event in the Big Apple (before it was even called the
Big Apple), and eventually people back across the pond held
parades as well.
Today, in the spirit of Everyone-Is-Irish-For-The-Day,St
Pat's Day is celebrated by people from all walks of life and
from all backgrounds, all over the US and Canada, and all over
the world. Australia has a big to do on March 17, and even
places in the Far East - like Japan and Russia - have celebrated the holiday.
Now there is even a big celebration in, of all places, Ireland!
Not limiting itself to one day (much like my grandmother, who
loved to draw out the good times over a period of weeks), Dublin holds a multi-day St Patrick's celebration featuring not only
parades, food and drink, but also concerts, theater productions
and fireworks displays. Way to go, Irish!
So yes, we're all a little Irish this month - no matter who
we are or where we're from - and we all may put in some
time drinking green beer and downing Irish bacon and cabbage, and having a darned good and loud time.
I wish you happiness and camaraderie during your St Patrick's celebrations, and I offer you these favorite Irish toasts:
May your right hand always be stretched out in .friendship
and never in want.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon
on a dark night, and the road downhill all the way to your front
door.
May you work like you don't need the money, love like
you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.
And my personal favorite: Here's to me and thee, and if we
ever disagree...here'sto me! +
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HAPPILYEVERAFTER
a book by Stacy Chandler
FREE to good lesbian homes!
$2 for postage to Speculator■, Inc.
PO Box 99038, Troy, MI 48099
A 60-pagebooklet
chockfull of good
thoughts,positiveremindersand
Inspirational
Messages;
only $5 postpaid,
such a deal/
MelWhite,
PO Box 130,
Tehachapi,CA 93561
.-~-----------------------------~
1
:: GAYELLOW PAGES Informing the lesbian, gay, bisexual & trans- :
gender community since 1973, Includes Women's Section and Eth- :1
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11nic/Multlcultura/ section "You won't find a more complete guide cov- 11
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11er/ng 1/terally all aspects of Gay and Lesbian life" Our World
http://gayellowpages.com
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RenaissanceHouse, PO Box 533 VIiiage Station, New York, NY
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10014 (or ask at your local feminist bookstore)
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IL ______________________________
.JI
-------------------------------LAVENDER REFLECTIONS
by Eleanor Ruth Wagner,
A book of affirmation• for
/esb/ans and gay men;
Meditations & quotations;
photo• & holiday entries
$10.95 (post paid)
from author.
5529 Vernon Ave S,
Mlnneapoll•, MN 55436
are based on love
~lpO',P°
R.ememhetings
;m4Celebt¥iotJs,
a 64-Qtd cfeek of
LovingRemtn4ersof the
Gte¥ Mothet's Vo/aavaila
blcthtough RobynPosfn,
Box725, Ojai, CA 93024
805-646-4518
www.fotl:hclittleoncsinsicfe.com
Ask futA Cm/og of Tre,suteS
Mth neither the privi.lege not the pressure to
many legalJ,y,I am free to choose a commitment of
1.ovewith my partner. Rele.ased from cultural.expe.ctations and family dictates by my same-sex
orien:tation,I oon continue in my relationshi.pwithout a forrrw],contract, ar decide on a unique dedaration of what our relationsrdpmeans to each ofus.
Marriagehas been used as a way oflegalizi,ngawnershi.p of
women by men. Saint Paul in the Bible instructed wives to submit to their husbands. I'm glad I am free to enter into a relati.onshi.p in which my partner and I are equals. We oon reject;the
baggage of an oppressive hi.story and society and let each other
be individuals.
Organized religion has often stressed reproduction as the
purpose of mo.ni.age.My inabili.tyto have biologicxuchildren with
my same-sex partner freesme from aa:idental.or socially pressured parenting. Although it becomes difficultfar me to be a parent by choi.oein some con:t.exts,
there are options, and I rejoire
that my partner and I oon be intentional about being parent.s.
Our l.ovefar each other has a depth that invol.ves much more
than a union aimed soley at reproduction.
I deserve the right to a legal.union with my partner, but far
now I rel.ebratethe love I offer and recei.ve. My partner and I
find our own words for the life we share.
- Eleanor Ruth Wagner
in Lavender Reflections
············································~
Reminder:
When you feel sad, depressed or in grief ...
be tender and gentle with yourself,
take the time and space to fold inward,
to be with the aching and the tears
until they're done ...
Trying to "cheer up"
before you're ready to surface,
deepens the wounding
you already feel!
-Robyn Posin
Rememberings and
Celebrations
www.fortheJittleonesinside.com
............................................
4
~
5
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by :111.CeJ.
H'b.1-ee
~
(/ellllingto the left sometimes,
Jellllingto the right other times,
but never tippingoyer, hence:
on the level!
Impeachment,protests,and
commonsense
I'm going to step into the fray about the possibilityof a war
with Iraq. I don't even know what the situationwill be when you
read this (I'm writingit beforethe newlycalledweekendsummit),
but I'd like to toss a few thoughtsout therefor you to consider.
What prompts me especiallyis that I got an email recently
urging me to join a movementto impeachPresidentBush. It read
like a schoolassignment,full of excitementat changingthe world
by gettingrid of big, bad ol' Dubya.
I don't know how anyone, even a young and inexperienced
student,could think impeachingBush would solve any of the current world problems. Let's say we could, somehow, remove
Georgeand his whole cabinet- what difference,exactly,would
that make to your basic, run-of-the-millterrorists? Their stated
goal and holy purposeis to kill you and me - and all Americans
- regardlessof who is in the WhiteHouse.
I cannotthink of a time when I have personallyever thought
that violencewas a solutionto any problemI might have had but
then again, I have never lived in a time like this. The world has
changed,and I trace the changeback to September11, 2001. Before then it neveroccurredto me that thousandsupon thousandsof
peoplearoundthe globewould wish me dead simplybecauseI am
an American,but I understandthat now.
Personally,I'm glad there is someonein a positionof authority who takes the threats against America seriously,and who is
willing to do somethingproactiveto protect our countryand our
way of life. I didn't start out being a big fan of PresidentBush,
but I do think he has shownremarkablerestraintso far in tryingto
avoid a war with Iraq. I also think he won't leavethe problemfor
someoneelse to solve later - maybe after you and I have been
killed in anothersneakattack- and for that I am also glad.
I've taken part in many peace marchesin my time, and while
I watch war protests now on televisionevery day, I too wish for
and prayfor peacefulsolutions.But I thinktoday's protestersare a
6
little misguidedin where they are putting their energies. Instead of
marchingin the United States, Great Britainand Australia,for example, why aren't they marchingin Afghanistanor Iraq? Whydon't they
stage a sit-in in front of Osama's currentcave? Why don't they shout
from the street corners of Baghdad how Saddam should not kill his
own citizens or use them as human shields to protect his own sorry
self? Why aren't they marching for nuclear disarmamentin North
Korea?
Oh yeah, now I remember- they aren't in those places protesting governmentactionsbecausethose places are not safe for peaceful
people.You need to be in a democracythat values individualfreedom
in order to criticizeyour governmentwithout fear of imprisonment,
tortureor death.
So people who hold up the "No War!" signs these days think
non-aggressionby the US will actually mean peace? Do they want
more "talking"and negotiatingbecausethat has workedso well in the
past? I wish it were that simple,but reality suggestsotherwise. Reality showsthat Iraq is (and has been) ignoringthe world community's
orders to disarm, al-Qaida seems to be alive and well and planning
more horrific surprises for us infidels (that's you and me, gay or
straight - even Muslim Americans- whetherwe march for peace
or not), and North Korea has a nuclear missile controlledby another
madmanpointedin the generaldirectionof my homein California.
I don't think the war protests will have much impact on any of
those other countriesor terroristgroups.By the way, I also don't think
duct tape and plastic sheeting will do me much good if and when
North Korealaunchestheir missiles;nor do I think a thin layer of anything around my doors and windowswill make much differenceif a
dirty bomb from Iraq or al-Qaidagoes off anywherenearby.And I do
believe those acts of mayhem and terror should be listed in the
"when" category,not the "if' category... unless we take steps to prevent futureattackson ourselves.Commonsensetells us that we might
have to do somethingmore than buy grocery or hardwarestore supplies in orderto feel safe in our own homes,and that we mighthaveto
do somethingmorethan marchand chantif we want peace.
Common sense tells us that passive resistancemay work when
reasonablepeople are on either side of an issue, but it won't work
when dealingwith fanaticswho are willingto die in order to kill, and
whosegoal is not peaceas we define it but insteadto destroyand conquer.
Commonsenseremindsus that sometimesa person has to take a
stand and say "No more." Sometimesa presidentand his countrythose of us at homeas well as those who are alreadyon the front lines
- must do the samething. @
7
by Lee Lynch
My Hundred Year Plan
I had a startling moment the other day when I realized
who lam.
That may sound too weird, but I had a flash of how the
person moving through the world under my name could be
summed up. I think this was brought on because I've been
watching the video that celebrates the life of my friend
Dragon, who died two weeks ago. Each time I watch it, I
discover something new about her. The contrast between
her tiny tot years and the years in which I knew the tall, laconic, acerbic, unrelentingly funny, animal-loving collegegrad-turned-motel-assistant-manager was extreme.
How do we get from point A to point B? Why do some
events and influences shape us more than others? Certainly
our parents' plans for us are futile. I was supposed to be an
ultra-feminine heterosexual. Sorry, I was way too fond of
scrambling over rocks and playing cowboys and Indians to
live up to that dream. I believe they gave up on me altogether at about age six when I started, with proud delight,
wearing glasses.
From a traditional, Republican-leaning east coast nuclear family comprised of my mother the housewife, my
father the overworking wage-earner and my conventional
older sibling, sprang this athletic, androgynous, single lesbian liberal peacenik West Coast writer with a New York
accent who today can look out my upstairs window and see
the PacificOcean.
How did I come so far? How did I get here? How did
my family produce such an odd duck? My friend the librarian told me that if you have a duck egg and no one to raise
it, you put it under a hen It's pretty common, she said, but,
she added, "If you have a goose egg, you'd better find a
pretty big hen." I think the mother hens who produced my
generation looked askance on us goose eggs.
8
I'm not exactly the result of long-range personal planning either, but then, are any of us? My innkeeper friend
told me how she had planned to work as a librarian in the
southwest until she reached age 45. She then would become
an administrator for the last ten years of her career and retire at age 55. Whoops - she and her partner have been
running bed and breakfasts on the Northwest coast since
she retired at age 51. No one could be more surprised at
what life brought her than the innkeeper.
While Dragon was still well enough, she chose the music for the video about her life. The week before she died I
sat in the living room of the home she shared with her partner and struggled not to cry as I listened to Tina Turner,
loudly (so Dragon could hear in the bedroom where her
partner was tending to her), belt out songs of love and survival. This is how our generation dies, I thought, to rock
music at high volume - to Tina or the Beatles or to Bob Dylan or film scores. Not for us hushed funeral parlors and
wakes. Who could have guessed, the first time we heard
YMCA that we might yearn to hear it in our last moments
and remember long velvet nights of disco dancing, bright
afternoon tea dances in P-Town or San Francisco, lovers
and friends radiant with dreams of the future.
And here we are today, back in the old burg where we
grew up, now with a same-sex partner and adopted kids, or
running a company - or sitting in a tree to stop dearcutting, wondering how we found this path.
I never planned to be political at aUbut my car is plastered with bumper stickers. I never planned to live out
West, but I've been here 19 years. I never planned to be single, but I keep coming back to this solitude and a loving
family of friends. I never planned to look androgynous, yet
only yesterday I was called "sir."
I never planned to speak with a New York accent, but
after 9/11 I realized I'd hidden it for over 40 years. I only
dreamed that I would write a novel and a sister writer has
honored me with "The Big 01' Stack of Books Award." I
never planned myself, but I embrace who I've become. ~
~Lee Lynch
9
winner of the 2003 MiguelMarmolPrize for the best first novel by a
Latino/Latinawriter. With this book, Carla Trujillohas given us one
of lesbian literature's youngest, most determined and memorable
heroines.(WhatNightBrings,by Carla Trujillo,CurbstonePress, $15.95)
0n ;5llcrecl ground
by Joy Park:i
TriumphantTomboys
Coming out begins long before one blurts out the irrevocable
words to familyand friends.Even though I starteddating the head of
my high school's Girls' Athletic Associationin my early teens, it's
shockingto note when my devianttendenciesbegan to surface.There
was the steadystreamof tomboysI courtedby helpingthemwith their
homeworkand the hours I spent sittingon splinter-Jadenbleachersin
my pastel dressesand maryjanes,smilingas demurelyas an 8-yearold can while watchingmy latest crushroundthe bases. And too, how
I wouldinitiategamesof "house"so I couldassignmy butchestbuddy
to be the "daddy,"a positionthat required she kiss me good-byebefore leaving for "work." I now marvel that I managedto get away
with being a rather obviousbaby femmefor much of my childhood.
This month's books deal with both the wonderand fears that accompanythose early stirringsof a lesbian/queeridentity.
In WhatNight Brings, a first novel by Carla Trujillo,Marci Cruz is
trying to talk God into changingher into a boy. She figuresthat's the
only way she's goingto get to love women.She's smittenby her teenage neighborRaquel, who takes an interest in Marci's garden, then
runs off with a greasy-lookingboy. Marci lifts weights, dreams of
being Supergirlso she can save fair maidensin distressand when she
discovers there's a secret intimacy between her uncle and the
neighborhoodpriest, she knows somehowit's connectedto her own
feelings. ThroughMarci, readers get to see the poignantand confusing beginningsof a lesbian identitythat alreadygives her a strength
and wisdombeyondher years.
Too bad being gay isn't all Marci has to worry about. She also
asks God to make her father go away so he'll quit hittingher and her
sister Corin. There's a chilling straightforwardnessin the way the
character describesher abusive home and her mother's inability or
refusal to protect her. Her unmet need for affection,her observations
on the impotenceof the CatholicChurchand her perspectiveson family, class, ethnicity,sexualityand powerwill stay with the reader long
after the book has ended. So will the bittersweetbut tender and somehow triumphantconclusion.WhatNight Brings is the very deserving
10
I
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I
While directed at the parents of GLBT teens, Always My Child by
Kevin Jenningsand Pat Shapirois also an excellentguide to coming
out to family at any age. It looks at common "clues"that arise when
one begins to questiontheir sexualidentity,exploresrealityversus the
mythsconcerningvarious sexualorientations,and even providessample conversationsthat can help those searchingfor the languagethey
need to define who they are. And Always My Child is unique (and
long overdue)in that it devotesattention to the challengesfaced by
transgenderedteens.AlwaysMy Childwon't make comingout easier,
but it just might promotea level of understandingthat will make subsequent conversationsless of a strain. (AlwaysMy Child,by Kevin
Jennings and Pat Shapiro, Fireside Original/Simon & Schuster Trade Paperbacks, $14.00)
SacredClassic:To KillA Mockingbird
Is a lesbian interpretationof a mainstreamnovel enough to make the
book a dyke classic?Unquestionably,my first literarylove was Scout
Finch, Harper Lee's tomboynarrator in To Klll a Mockingbird.I rememberbeggingmy motherto let me stay up late to watch the movie
and feeling a odd excitementas an overall-c1adScout shunned all
things feminineand bested her brother and the boy next door at both
gamesand compassion.
Later, I read the book in my high schoolEnglish cJassand wrote
A+ papers on Scout's fight against Southernsmall town bigotry and
insensitivity.What I didn't realize then was that perhaps it was her
own "otherness"that made her so acceptingof "difference"in many
of the book's characters.
Is that what HarperLee intended?She was a childhoodfriend of
Truman Capote; perhapsthat gave her insight into how "difference"
manifestsitself sometimesmagicallyin children.And it doesn't matter. To Kill a Mockingbirdis undeniablyone of the greatestbooks in
Americanliteratureand I don't think there's a dyke alive who won1t
feel empoweredby the strength and appeal of the characterof Scout
or admirethe cJarityof her observations.And that's enoughto make it
by Harper Lee, LittleBrown & Company
sacred. (ToKillA Mockingbird,
(paperback,reissuedOctober1988),$6.99)
0JoyParks
Ask for these books at your local
feminist or alternative bookstore.
11
SallPho•sSolutio:OS
ccessfuI L·1vmg
.
y and © Stacy Chandler
Dear Savvy ~ppho, Must I attend my daughter's wedding? It's
been 15 years since THE DNORCE and I still don't want to
revisit my ex-famuy. - Bad Feelings Still
DearFeelings,Goquietlyto herwedding.Arrivejust beforethe
ceremonybegins;leavebeforeeveryone
gathersaroundafter.Skip
thereception.
If you run intoany ex-relatives,
just smile,remain
silentandwalkaway.You'llbe therefor her,not them.- SS
Dear Savvy Sappho, I'm homebound, but I'd like to help my
fellow human beings in some way. Do you have any thrifty
suggestions? - Frugal in Fresno
DearFrugal,Start by beingpoliteon the phone.Write letters
filledwith compliments
and thankyou's. Volunteerto readstories to kids in your neighborhood.
You'll be surprisedat how
muchpeoplelovea kind,warmandsincerehumanbeing.- SS
~s-~
r.o
~*~ ...~~~·
U,11}
by and© Stacy Chandler
PISCES
February 19 - March 20
You want to swim with bigger fish;
You have the need to tell your story.
The oceans and seas are
a stone's throw from shore act like Willy and go seek your glory.*
1J.
*
On the &acl f>orch
I,~ f:.esfleMcGirf
The Inner Winter Les
It's early morning here and we're looking at a high near 7Cf'
today. Bothersome. Yesterday I had on my internet radio a station that plays only soothing sounds; surf, babbling brook,
thunderstorms, and songbirds. In particular the thunderstorms
and the songbirds - the spring peeper sounds began to work
on me. I noticed my jaw grow slack and my eyes start to unfocus. From deep within me something began to awaken. All I
could do was sit there looking out the window. A part of me that essential resolve that steels one against the winter cold was
starting to melt away with each rumble of thunder and chip of
sparrow.
It became suddenly very disconcerting. "Oh no!" I thought
and jumped up to shut the radio down.
It was an unusual moment. I felt if I had continued further
all that would have remained of me was a little dirty puddle on
the floor. I was actually thawing out, starting to shed my skins.
But thank god my steely old wintry self, that crusty old survivor wrapped in buffalo hides, various and sundry pelts, deerskin leggings to the knees - Old Crusty strode over the horizon and proceeded to take out the abomination with one clean
shot from her rifle on her hip. She immediately saw the danger.
Thank god for that vicious lady.
Don't be messin' with the inner winter Les. I'm very attached to this winter thing and not in any way interested in
what spring has to offer. Get back summer! Stay thee away
pretty thrushes! I'm all about woodstoves and fire, hearty
soups and long nights. Winter is here and NOT spring.
let's not have any illusions about that! Leave the illusions to
the Republicans, the god fearing. Not me.
COLesMcGirl
©©©~©©~©©~©©~©©~©©~©©~©©~©©~@©~©©©
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13
~--
15th Gulf Coast Womyn's Festival
••••••••••••
••
~----'!!'--'
M 001 111 524
(formerlyLesbianPride Newsletter,
but only the name has changed)
Mel White/MAKAWPress,owner/publisher
Subscriptions:$12 a year(12 Issues)
Contributorsreceivefree subscriptions.
Unsolicitedcontributionsare welcomebut be sure to include
a self-addressedstampedenvelopeif you want your
materialreturned;all rights are returnedto creator.
@2003 All Rights Reserved
For permissionto reprintor use any of the content,contact:
Mel White, PO Box 130,Tehachapi,California 93561
momingland@msn.com
April 17-20
at CampSister Spirit, near Hattiesburg,Mississippi
You are invited to join the festivities at the annual fundraising event at Camp SisterSpirit. Through toils and troubles the
festival always goes on, and this will be the 15th year for the
now famous Gulf Coast Womyn's Festival.
Women from all over the globe will join with their Southern sisters to welcome the spring, and to create a community of
sisters of all ages, races and walks of life, for mutual empowerment, encouragement and entertainment.
Weekend activities will include music, arts and crafts,
workshops, southern food, nature walks, laughter, games and
feminist library resources. Featured performers will include
Lucie Blue, Dorothy Hirsch, Trish Williams, Shelley Graff, Bonnie Morris, Beth Peterson and more.
All indoor spaces are smoke/pet and scent free; most of the
facilities are ramped and wheelchair accessible. There are
plenty of RV and tent spaces, and private hot showers and
flush toilets are available in the central shower house. Food will
be Southern style, with both meat and vegetarian choices.
For more information or to make reservations, go to
www.campsisterspirit.com or write GCWF, PO Box 12, Ovett,
MS 39464.Phone 601-344-1411or601-645-6479. ~~
©~00~©©~©@~©©~©©~©©~00~©©~©©~00~©
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from ______________
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Mail this form along with a check or money order
to Mel White, PO Box 130, Tehachapi, CA 93581
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MekW~KAW
PO Bo,c.,130
T ~v,
CA 93 561
Address correctionrequested
HERLAND (PE02-12)
HERLAND
2312 NW 39TH
OKLAHOMA CITY OK 73112