HerlandVoice-2002-11-v20-no11_ocr.pdf
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- HerlandVoice-2002-11-v20-no11_ocr.pdf
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HERLAND VOICE
November
1-00?-
Website of the Month: www.progressivesecretary.org
Adoption \Vorkshop for Non-Traditional families
at .Uerland. 2312 N\\139~ 6treet. Oklahoma City
6aturday, November 16. 2002. 3:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
find out what is involved in adopting children in Oklahoma.
Presenters will include 6andy Ingraham (attorney-at-Law).
Nancy Viviani. (adoptive mother) and a representative of a
(family-friendly) adoption agency Licensed to place children in
Oklahoma.
'Protec.tin9 Families and 'Partnerships in '5ame-'5eY.
g.e\ationships
by Sandy Ingraham, JD, MSW
Ingraham & Associates, P.L.L. C. (405) 964-2072
Lesbians and gay men create families, both with and without
children. Like all families those involving same-sex relationships fret
over what will happen when one partner dies, or (heaven forbid) the
couple breaks up. Unlike ali families those involving same-sex
relationships have precious few legal safeguards.
Without a
relationship recognized by law (biological parenthood, adoption or
marriage) at least one of the partners stands as a virtual stranger in the
eyes of Oklahoma law. Questions involving property division,
inheritance, child custody, child support, child visitation will be
answered by looking at strict legal entitlement, birth certificates,
marriage licenses, divorce documents, and adoption papers. The
emotions of sadness and betrayal are heightened as families are forced
to navigate the nightmares of death and divorce without legal process.
Partners can do something! Key is being honest about the nature of
the relationship. Then a series of legal documents can be crafted to
specify what the couple wants to happen when the inevitable occurs.
Depending on each specific situation documents might include: wills
or trusts (to distribute property upon death), affidavits (specifying
desires, such as cremation), partnership agreements (laying out
financial agreements, payment of household expenses, impact on
ownership, etc.), co-parenting agreements (laying out each partner's
commitment to a child; specifying custody, visitation and support
agreements), various powers-of-attorney (allowing partners to take
care of each other's financial affairs, allowing the non-legal parent to
exercise some parental rights such as consenting for a child's medical
care, or allowing partners to consent to each other's medical care),
assignment of hospital visitation rights (ensuring a partner the right to
visit in a medical facility and stay informed of medical status) ... and
so on.
Once agreements are made, partners are advised to honor them and
do whatever is necessary to stay out of court. The inclusion of
alternative dispute resolution clauses, such as required mediation and
binding arbitration, can avoid the nightmare of a public proceeding in
an open court which has no respect for non-traditional relationships.
Partners must understand that some agreements may not even be
Volume ?-O, Number 11
enforced by a court. There is hope that states will begin to honor coparenting agreements (see, for example, Jn re Bonfield, 96 Ohio St. 3d
218, issued this summer). Other states allow second-parent adoption
(Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Vermont
by case law; Connecticut by statute; California's new domestic
partnership law allows registered domestic partners to adopt as
stepparents). Most states don 't do either. There is little basis to
believe Oklahoma courts will follow the progressive path.
Oklahoma law and statutes protect a family and declare what will
happen to the property or children when one partner in a legallyrecognized marriage leaves or dies. For everyone else, silence means
walking away with nothing, and possibly leaving your child at risk.
Be proactive. Seek the advice of an attorney and make sure you have
done all you can do to protect your family.
Wom~n
of C.o\or
The Womyn of Color celebrated their first year anniversary at the
Golden Corral with a lively crowd of members and friends . Their
next meeting is Sunday, November 10, at 4 p.m., at Herland. If you
have any questions or want information about our organization, please
feel free to email us at womynofcolor@gay.com or call 405i842-3464
or 405/947-7691.
.Llerland 6upper Club
The November 6upper Club will meet
6aturday, November 16
at 6 pm at
La Baguette
:?2:? \V. Boyd
In Norman
following dinner We will proceed to
Meachum Auditorium
900 Asp
in the OU 6tudent Union
On the OU Campus
for the
OUT Ok'.'.. film fest
IVe are nt?t sure as we gt? tt? press
what f!Lms wiLL be playing t?r at what time:
Tickets are .1>10 at the door.
Those who would Like to carpool should
tvjeet at .Uerland at 5:20 pm
www.herlaodsisters.or9
t\erlaod ~ister 14sourGes. ?-'31?- NW '31, 01:\ahoma l.it1. 01( 1'311?£.mail us at herlaodsisters@GOY..net Visit us during our bool:store hours. ~aturda1s.
40?-??-1-1{(,IJ(,
I -
? p.m.
I
'5aint '5'fbi\ presents: 6.uest feminists
The MusiG '5Gene
Yes readers, there are feminists in Oklahoma. Last month we heard
from Rebecca in Tulsa; this week we give the floor to Kathy
McCallie, Pastor of the Church of the Open Arms. Please note that
Kathy rose to the challenge to define feminism in 25 words exactly.
"I was excited about an open discussion on the question of being a
feminist. Here is my attempt toward a definition.
Feminist: someone who recognizes the unjust pervasiveness of
male dominance in our world and who strives to replace sexism
and patriarchy with egalitarian, cooperative alternatives.
Yes, I identify as a feminist. I try to be a radical feminist and a true
lover of all that is Woman. For about 20 years, I have been proud
and determined to make the feminist work part of my life.
I have
been saddened at times to hear of feminists who were not very good
on issues of race or even lesbian issues ... yet still, I want to be part of
the feminist movement as it is learning and growing.
I don't often take time to tell you, but I appreciate Herland and your
work there. It is a light spot in a weary world.
Much love, Kathy
McCallie"
By Jill Garner
Congratulations to Emmylou Harris who won the 2002 Patrick J.
Leahy Humanitarian Award for her efforts to focus attention on the
plight of landmine survivors. Harris is one of the Vietnam Veterans
of America Foundation's (VY AF) most visible spokespersons for the
organization's anti-landmine campaign. She spearheaded the creation
of VY AF's Concerts for a Landmine Free World in 1998, and has
initiated many other singer-songwriters to the anti-landmine cause.
On November 1th, VY AF supporters, including Senator Patrick
Leahy (D-VT), will pay tribute to Harris in a benefit event at the
Birchmere Music Hall in D.C. Musical guests will include Mary
Chapin Carpenter, Guy Clark, Rodney Crowell, Steve Earle, Nanci
Griffith, Patty Griffin, Buddy & Julie Miller and John Prine.
All proceeds from the 2002 Patrick J Leahy Humanitarian Award
event will support VY AF's post-war assistance programs. VY AF is a
Washington, DC-based international humanitarian organization that
assists civilian victims of conflict in countries overseas, as well as
educates and engages the public about the global landmine crisis.
Since 1997, the number oflandmine accidents has fallen , to around
15,000-20,000 per year according to a report by the International
Campaign to Ban Landmines. A total of I 25 countries have ratified
the landmine treaty, and another 18 have signed it but have not yet
ratified. The United States is not one of those countries .
VV AF established the Senator Patrick J. Leahy Humanitarian
A ward to honor those who have made a lasting contribution in the
field of humanitarian affairs.
tier\and t-\i~e - - Herland had a great hike at Sulphur in October,
and so we have planned another one. Saturday, November 9, we will
meet at 8 am at Panera Bread, 4401 W. Memorial Road (NE comer
. of Memorial & Meridian). After breakfast we will meet at 9 am at
Martin Nature Park, 5000 W. Memorial, for an easy and pleasant hike.
Once again we are lucky to have Jane Powell as our hike leader.
/\re You Loo~in9 for a 6.ood iime?
Are you tired of
meeting socially unavailable and mentally vacuous mates? Do you
yearn for a committed short-term relationship? Your search is over.
OUT OK - The Oklahoma Gay and Lesbian International Film
Festival is _looking for a few good women and men to assist in the
operations. I need peopie to.help in Norman, November i5-17 and in
Tulsa, November 22-24. Please come out and be a part of this great
event. Contact Philip Au : 918-682-4654 ext. 2 or pau@out-ok.com
)' .PJ' b .P.P
Sunday, November 3, 7:15 am; Soulforce vigil, Village
Baptist Church
)'
Sunday, November 3, 8 - 10 pm; Peggy Johnson at
Sisters, 2120 NW 39'h, OKC; with Dee Britt; no cover
O
Thursday, November 7, 7 pm, ~~~ Basketball; Southern
Nazarene v. the Flyers, at the Sawyer Center in Bethany
i ai\s from the C.\oset
"Do lesbians look good in hoop skirts?"
"Are we born gay?" " ls bi-sexuality a sport?" These questions are
answered in the gay comedy sketch, "Tails from the Closet: A
Comical Orgy of the GLBT Life" playing Sundays November 3,10,
17, and 24 and December 8 and 15 . 7 p.m. in the IAO (Individual
Artists of Oklahoma Gallery in downtown Oklahoma City
Friday, December 6:
Therapy Sisters at the Blue Door
Sunday, December 15: Sisters of Swing Christmas Show
Tuesday, December 17: Louise and Mary at Galileo 's
The SGI-USA Oklahoma Ethnic Diversity Group
-·
Saturday, November 9, 9 am; Herland Hike at Martin
Nature Park, OKC
Saturday, November 9; 7:30 pm; Mary Reynolds at Java
Dave's; 10 NE JO'h Street, OKC. A benefit for RAIN Sunday, November 10, Womyn of Color, 4 pm, Herland
'5ave the Dates
•
•
•
MusiG and More
T
T
)'
0
is meeting on Novermber 24 at the SGI Community Center 3800 N.
Cromwell at 7 pm. This is a new meeting started by some of the
members who recently attended a meeting for African-American SGI
at the Florida Nature and Conference Center. Contacts are: Rosetta
Yeboa, 682-3363 or Rebbecca Ross, rossra@juno.com.
November 15-17, OUT OK Film Festival, in Norman
Friday, November 15, 7:30, Mary & Louise at One, at
White & Buchanan, Norman; $5.00
Friday, November 15, 6 pm; ~ ~ ~ Basketball; SNU
Varsity v. the Alumni, Sawyer Center, Bethany
Saturday, November 16, 3 - 5 pm; Adoption Workshop, at
Herl and
Saturday, November 16, Herland Supper Club, 6 pm at
La Baguette in Norman, then to the OUT-OK Film Festival
The Voice is published by : Herland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 NW 39Lh,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112. The Voice is offered as an open forum for
community discourse. Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not
necessarily those of Herland Sister Resources. Unsolicited articles and
letters to the editor are welcomed and must be signed by the writer with full
name and address . Upon request, letters or articles may be printed under a
pseudonym or anonymously. Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon
request although a donation is requested to meet publication and
distribution costs.
Tuesday, November 19; Mary Reynolds and Louise
Goldberg at Galileo ' s, 8 - 11 pm; no cover
November 22-24, OUT OK Film Festival, in Tulsa
Sundays, November & December, Tails from the Closet,
!AO, 811 N. Broadway, Oklahoma City; at 7 pm
*
Thursdays, 4 :30 6 pm, peaceful Rally for Peace in Iraq;
NW 23'd & Classen, Oklahoma City
'Patf>'{ Min\(, 12-11'; t'f?-1-1-001-
OUT Of( Fi\m Festiva\
The world lost one of its greatest citizens on September 28 with the
death of Hawaii Congresswoman Patsy Mink, the first Asian
American woman elected to Congress. Girls and women also lost
one of their most valiant and steadfast champions. Every woman
today who is enjoying the fruits of her education and job
opportunities, and every girl who has a chance to play sports in
school, owes a profound thanks to Mink, who unremittingly and
dauntlessly challenged old stereotypes about "women's place"; and
who helped engineer the steady progress for women over the last four
decades.
Patsy Mink graduated from the University of Chicago Law School
in 1951 , and was unable to obtain a position in a law firm anywhere,
even as a law clerk. She stood up and showed up for women and girls.
She persisted, cajoled, humored, and demanded of her colleagues that
Congress attend to the business of over half its constituents. Among
many accomplishments, she was a leader in shepherding the passage
of Title IX in 1972 to promote educational equity. One of only two
women ever to receive this honor, Patsy Mink was named a NOW
Woman of Vision in June 2002, in a ceremony honoring the 30th
Anniversary of Title IX. In the last decade of her political leadership,
Patsy Mink was a vigorous advocate on behalf of poor families. Faced
with the bi-partisan tidal wave that pounded poor women, insisting
that they "get to work," Mink worked tirelessly to promote policies
that truly addressed the realities of poverty and last year garnered
substantial support in the House of Representatives for her legislation
to provide additional education and skills that would support true selfsufficiency.
Patsy Mink will always be remembered with love and respect and
gratitude. She was our champion - a tireless advocate and a hero to
women and girls everywhere. In celebrating her life, let us rededicate
ourselves to protecting her legacy, by preventing the current efforts to
dismantle her !ar1dmark legislation, Title IX.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:
Don 't forget : The Oklahoma Gay
and Lesbian International Film Festival will take place in Norman on
November 15 - 17, Meachum Auditorium; and in Tulsa on November
22 - 24. There has been a change of venue in Tulsa: new location is
Fontana 6 Cinema 7810 E. 49th Street (51st and Memorial), Tulsa.
See You in the Dark! We won't know the exact lineup of films and
their showing times until a few days beforehand, so be alert.
'5ou\forc..e
On Sunday, November 3rd, Soulforce In Oklahoma will return to
Village Baptist Church, OKC for their tenth monthly vigil in an
attempt to get VBC leaders to resume dialogue and negotiations.
Participants will arrive at Village Baptist Church at 7:15 am to be
briefed on the specific plans for the morning. All participants must
have been trained by Soulforce in the principles of nonviolence. If
you have not been trained and want to participate, contact Soulforce
and let them know. They will arrange training for you.
If you would like to participate in the November vigil, please email
us at Karen@SoulforceinOklahoma.org or, you can sign up on line
on our website at http ://www.soulforceinoklahoma.org/fdmtest.htm.
VOT£ November 7
If you have any questions about candidates for office or about state
questions, an excellent website is provided by the League of Women
Voters, a non-partisan civic group.
Their election website is
www .dnet.org . Find your state, type in your zip code, and you can
get information on all the choices that will be on your ballot,
including those pesky lesser offices no one ever knows how to vote,
such as judgeships and state questions. Cockfighting is one of the
questions on the ballot in Oklahoma this year, folks, and no one does
not have an opinion on that issue. Go vote if it's only for that.
The response to our Plumbing Project fundraising request has been most gratifying. To tell the truth, we are overwhelmed and blown away by the
wonderful response. As we go to print, less than a month after our plea went out, we are already over 90% of the way to our goal of$4,000. Our
donations look like this:
Angel F;ills Angels
Equal! at Lucent Technologies
Karen Lewis (with love to all the
women who have served Herland)
In Honor of Mary Reynolds
In Honor ofTheila Elliott
Calico 626
Anonymous (2)
Niagara Falls Angels
Diane Brandmiller
Dee Butler
Darnell Bacher Family
Jeans Plumbing
Ginger McGovern
Barbara Hillyer
Gustav Friedrich & Erena Rae
Anonymous (4)
Turner Falls Angels
Larry & Juliane Littlefield
Diane E. Weaver
Sue Hill
Margaret Cox
Nancy Scott
Amy Quate & Dana Townson
In Honor of Laura Choate
In Memory of Katherine Moore
Anonymous (5)
Bridal Veil Falls Angels
Gail & Edie
Jan Reed
Additionally we have a self-designated Fallen Angel "who just
wants us to be successful" and sent us $100. With friends like her,
we will be.
A special mention needs to be made of Equal! at Lucent. We are thinking of giving them a category of their own- Victoria Falls maybe? They
deserve more. They knocked our socks off with a donation of $1,500 - wow! The accompanying note read "Although the Oklahoma EQUAL!
Chapter is currently inactive, we retirees are still trying to keep the torch burning. We hope this contribution will help Her/and continue to be a
viable and visible force in Oklahoma." Signed, Karen Parsons, Female Co-Chair, Retired, and Rey Jones, Male Co-Chair, Retired. Our
heartfelt thanks to them, and to all of our generous and kind donors. You are keeping our house in good repair and our spirits as well. To those
of you who haven't gotten your donation in the mail yet, we're still not to 100%, so you can send us over the top; and we would love to get your
names on our walls also. Thank you all so much!
Herland Sister Resources
2312 NW 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
PermitNo. 861
Address Service Requested
REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
Julia Irwin, M .D., P.C.
Clinical Psychology
· Psychiatrist
405/321-2148
Box 5119
Norman, Okla. 73070
Individual - Couples
Family Therapy, Retreats
DOROTHY E. HEIM
Attorney at Law
(405) 691-4949
dheim033@yahoo.com
Call me with your legal questions:
estate planning
contract issues
personal injury
small business
Doctor's Park
500 East Robinson, Suite 600
Norman, OK 73071
(405) 321-3719
TEAM
A~
Young
and Older Adults
DEE BUTLER
Realtor Associate
REALTORS l PROPERTY MANAGEMENT
495-8326
For All Your
Real Estate Needs
4521 N.W. 44th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73122
(405) 524-2991 Home
(405) 202-2136 Cell
(405) 495-8325 Fax