Spinsterhaven_Fall1996.pdf
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- Spinsterhaven_Fall1996.pdf
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Spinslerhavert
Volume VII, No. '.2
Northwest Arkansas's haven for over 55 and disabled women.
CALENDAR
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FROM THE LAND
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Fall, 19%
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Friday, November 15
Video Night
7:00 Coming Out is a Many Splendored Thing
and Susan Westenhoefer Comedy Special
Saturday, December 7 Annual Dance
See flyer inside.
Friday, January 24
Video Night
7:00 I've Heard The Mermaids Singing
9:00 When Night is Falling
Board Meetings are held once a month. All
members are welcome to attend. For time and
location call 443-3184.
We are not scheduling a Work Day this time. If
you have the time to donate, call Sustana, 6772911 to see what needs to be done. Spinsterhaven does not own any carpentry tools or
equipment, so if you do own tools it would be
appreciated if you volunteer for some minor
carpentry-type job around the place. You could
even get a couple of friends to help you. We do
have hand gardening tools and a small electric
chainsaw.
OUR APOLOGIES
Our apologies to Lesbian Natural Resources
for our mistake in printing their name last issue.
It was Lesbian Natural Resources who granted
us $5,000 to build a road to the first dwelling site
on the land. As it turns out, we have changed the
layout so that the same amount of road will reach
the first two dwellings .
Lesbian Natural Resources is an international
organization that helps lesbians all over the
world.
By Sustana
The time has just slipped by. All the seasons are
so beautiful that I wonder where they went when
the next one starts. The road is to be started next
Monday. By the time you read this it should be
completed. We changed the layout so that the
same amount of road reaches the first two
dwelling sites instead of just one. I will be
moving my trailer.onto Site #1 as soon as they
finish the road. Needless to say, I am very
excited about that, and about finally being able
to have a neighbor. She will live in the
Gatehouse where I have been this past year.
I have seen two new wild animals since I wrote
last. A fox walked around the house while I was
sitting on my front steps. We made eye contact
and then she turned around and tiptoed through
the wet grass (like a cat in water) and went back
the way she had come. Then one day when {
went to the mail box, which is half a mile down
the road, I saw a cougar. She saw me and ran
into an old barn close by. I don't think we would
have so many deer though, if a cougar spent
much time on the land.
I made a very small garden totally by hand and
it turned out better than I had expected since I'm
new in the area and just learning the climates,
soil, weather, etc. I have canned 25 pts. of
cucumber pickles and 55 pts. of tomatoes. There
wasn't enough of anything else to can, but I
enjoyed some wonderful summer meals of peas,
green beans, squash, peppers, okra and new
potatoes.
Linda Matthews, our board treasurer, bushhogged the whole camping area with her new
tractor. Karin Wiggins, the board president,
brought a friend, Kristy, out and they built two
very big fire circles for campers. They moved
lots of large rocks. (We do have lots of rocks.)
Cheryl and Lisa-Ann brought new compost
barrels for the camping "Potty Teepee". Also, we
now have wind-chimes in the trees at the camp
ground. Barbara brought her pickup truck and
we gathered up all the leftover building junk plus
a huge refrigerator that doesn't work, and she
hauled it 35 miles to the recycling center. Carol
and Isis have helped with the garden this
summer and also with measuring out the land
where the road goes and where my trailer goes.
When you write it all down, a lot of work has
been done. And we have also completed what
was probably the hardest job of all: we have
finally written a lease agreement that pleases
everyone. Very special thanks to the four women
on that committee who put in so many extra
hours: Marilyn Yoder, Guthrie, Cheryl and LisaAnn.
SPINSTERHAVEN AND THE
WOMEN'S MEMORIAL GROUP
A meadow fragrant with honeysuckle, jasmine
and bumblebees, a carpet of wildflowers covers
much of the ground. Birds sing a summer song,
deer and small wild life munch on bushes and
grasses, tiny flat metal circles mark certain areas.
The scene changes as seasons progress, but there
always seems to be a sense of spiritual peace as
you pause here. Where is this place?
As I did research for my forthcoming book
called The Compassionate Way of Experiencing
Death, I began to think a lot about death. This
article is my vision of a good happening. I am
using what I decided were my wishes as an
example to show one possible way.
Whether I die at home or in the hospital, I
would like to be prepared for burial by a group
of women friends. This entails washing, and
dressing or wrapping in a winding sheet. I would
like a viewing at my home. Then I would like to
be transported by van, station wagon or pickup
truck to a women's cemetary. Hopefully a
cemetary like back in the first paragraph.
What would it take for this to happen?
I. Education: a) Women must educate themselves about their own wishes surrounding death.
b) We must learn what is possible in our present
society. Don't assume that if it is not being done
there is a law against it. c) We must know how to
deal with the authorities. d) We must know how
to perform the necessary duties.
II. Preparation: a) There has to be a group of
women willing to act as a burial society. We
have to face our fears and return to older ways of
caring for the dead. Several women have
expressed an interest in this. b) There must be an
established system already in place at the time of
death: a phone number to call when one dies.
This person will take responsibility for accepting
the body (if in a hospital) or calling the person
designated. The contact person calls all members
of the burial society and together they make all
preparations. c) Each woman must make out a
living will. This is a document that states her
wishes. In the Living Will, you state whether you
want to stay plugged in to machines or not, and
who you want to take charge before and after
death. Be sure to make several copies, one for
your hospital, your attorney, your significant
other, your family home, etc. d) There has to be
a cemetary in place to be taken to. This is
relatively easy as Spinsterhaven has agreed to set
aside acreage for this purpose. The details are
still being worked out. Hopefully it will be open
to all women who express a desire to be buried
there. e) There will be a fee to cover the
expenses such as mowing, digging graves, etc.
A book of remembrance will show where each
woman is buried. It will also have a short lifestory for each woman.
III. Affirmations: a) We will get out of the
denial mode that the present system has put us
in. b)We affirm that since we are all going to die,
let's do it our way. c)We will start to act now,
since none of us knows when time stops for us.
For info call (501) 582-1881 or write to:
Silver Crone
314 South Block
Fayetteville, AR 72701
NOW IS THE TIME!!
With the building of the road, we are now ablt
to open up new building sites for future
residents. NOW IS THE TIME to let us know
if you are interested in living here within the
next year. Write to:
Spinsterhaven
P.O. Box 718
Fayetteville, AR 72702
DISABILITY AWARENESS
UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL
On Nov. 17, 1995, I was in an auto accident
that left me with a serious head injury and major
trauma to my legs and hips. The previous month
I had been hospitalized for two weeks with
asthma. Asthma has been a presence in my life
for 23 years and I'd been through major attacks
and hospitalizations in the past. I had some
awareness of "hidden disability," one that isn't
obvious to others, but slows you down, or
prevents you from doing an activity.
Suddenly, I was becoming intimately
acquainted with another type of disability, one
that was only too obvious. I limped while
walking, had difficulty getting up from a sitting
position, and stairs were an adventure in
themselves. I have tried to be a woman who is
considerate, conscious and concerned about
accessibility for all people. But it took my "fall
of '95" for disability awareness to become up
close and personal.
Life is quite different for me now. The accident
and illness forced me to be still, quiet, and
introspective. This was in contrast to my former
lifestyle of going 90 miles an hour, in four
directions, all at once. I like the new me, she
laughs more, and has simplified her life. She
rejoices in small accomplishments, like being
able to walk well enough to go empty the trash. I
boasted of that feat for days and my partner,
family and friends patiently told me how great I
was.
Gardening this spring and summer has required
creativity, innovation and remembering some of
the old skills I developed twenty-odd years ago
when I was a back-to-the-lander. Intensive,
raised bed gardens are my choice since bending,
stooping and kneeling are not activities I can
participate in. With the help of my partner and
my daughter and her partner, we began
transforming our regular garden into a raised bed
oarden that is accessible. Over the winter
0
months, Jason, my son outlaw, dug the entire
plot up by hand, with a pick. Jessie, my
daughter, sat on an upside down milk crate and
sorted rocks for weeks. For those of you not
familiar with Ozark soil, rocks are one of our
greatest natural resources.
We then built our first raised bed with concrete
blocks and dumped the two-year-old compost
barrel into it. The soil was mixed with the
compost and we then added the decomposed
section of our compost pile and mixed that in. I
planted zinnias since I didn't want to grow
vegetables in com.posted human waste the first
year. Over the summer months the flowers
provided color and beauty to our lives and the
compost and soil was cooking.
It's now the end of August and I'm getting
ready to plant broccoli in the raised bed. Jessie is
expecting her first baby any day now, so she isn't
gardening much these days. Jason is working 60
hours a week for a contractor and he hasn't much
time for gardening these days either. But as my
health has improved I've been able to undertake
more in the garden.
I'm really excited about building a garden that
is accessible to me and others. I'm also
beginning to rejoice in the different direction my
life has taken. Disability awareness, up close and
personal, is turning out to be a wonderful
opportunity for growth and creativity, both for
me and others.
Northwind
CROSSES
FLEA MARKET·
Hwy. 16 East at Cr~,
Arkansas
Open Fri, Sat, Sun, Noon to 6:00
Antiques, Art, Quilts, Tools, Toys, Books, Camping, etc
The Best Junk in Arkansas
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For those who didn't approve of us having a
chart done for Spinsterhaven, I want to say that
most of us acknowledge that today's astrology is
as warped as everything else the patriarchy has
gotten its hands on. However, the fact that "it is
such an ancient science/art and that it is based on
principles of interconnectedness and interrelatedness are clues that it is one of the remnants of
pre-patriarchal culture. Chief among the lost
concepts is that all things in the universe
influence one another"* In other words, it's a
two-way exchange.
This chart was done, free of charge, by
Starscape Astrology Services, Denver, Colorado.
A very general interpretation of this chart is that
SpH has an introspective personality. It is a very
private, personal and spiritual place. The only
time it reaches out beyond its own boundaries is
to off er "home" and "personal relationships." It
will be gently and methodically active and productive. It has a strong artistic bent and is not
afraid of hard work. It has an extremely strong
accent on home for now and for the future. Self
and mind are important. It looks like SpH will
be a group of individuals as opposed to a singleminded group. There will be many projects
which are spiritual and nurturing for women.
Any SpH memberwho knows more about
reading astrological charts is welcome to send
her interpretationto us and we will printit in the
next newsletter.
*Wordingby Sonya Johnsonin Wildfire.
HOW THEY DID IT
I recently had the chance to read the minutes
from all of SpH's board meetings which started
in 1988. It may seem like eight years is a long
time to put something like this together, but in
truth there are lots of things that must be done
which are invisible to anyone who is not
working on the board.
There have only been four presidents, the first
resigned after one year and the last one was
elected only a few months ago. The president
invariably does more work than anyone else.
This means that Nancy Vaughn and Guthrie have
done the major part of the work it took to get
SpH to where it is today. There has been an
incredible amount of work done in each term by
an incredibly small number of women. Almost
all of these women work for a living and their
time with SpH is volunteer.
In the term of the first president, Mary Grace,
they found the name, Spinsterhaven, determined
what exactly it was to be, wrote the mission
statement, the by-laws, the articles of
incorporation, went through the legal process of
becoming incorporated, and worked on
membership and fundraising. This was probably
some of the hardest work that has been done.
In the term of the second president, Nancy
Vaughn, they began networking with other
organizations, set up training sessions for board
members, found a Logo, started a newsletter, put
out the first brochure, started looking for land,
found the money to pay for the land, worked out
our standing with IRS and got our 501(c)3
rating, created a mailing list, and worked on
membership and fundraising.
In the term of our third president, Guthrie, we
found the land, bought the land, cleared the title,
bought a trailer and put it on the land, remodeled
it to make it into an office plus a living space,
put in electricity, got set up with the county for
waterwhen thatutility becomes available
(1997), cleaned out the well, put in a pump and
running water in the trailer which is now called
the Gate-house, rented to the first residentand
worked on membership and fundraising.
In the term of our fourth president, Karin
Wiggins, we have found the money for building
Business Counsulting
Tax Planning and Preparation
Peggy Konert, LCSW
Individual, Group
and Family Therapy
Joanne Olszewski MBA, MSA, CPA
501-582-2413
501- 643-3699
a road through the land so women can build their
own dwellings (the road should be in by the time
you read this), cleared the first site and helped
Sustana get moved in, created a residency
agreement and the policy and procedure that is
involved in leasing the land out to women, and
worked on membership and fundraising.
I'm sure each board member will tell me things
I didn't even mention such as work with
neighbors and lawyers, and some of the things I
did mention took months and even years. For
instance, when we found the land and tried to
buy it, we discovered that the title hadn't been
cleared. The seller had an ex-wife who had to be
found so we could get her signature of release.
We had to have a clear title or we couldn't get the
money to pay for it.
In talking with the women who have served on
the board, I discovered that most of them had
thought SpH would be a "done deal" by now.
But the biggest assumption was that hundreds of
women would become enthusiastically involved
and they would provide the energy and money
needed to bring it all about. When you read the
board minutes you can feel the tension and
stress. You can feel the energy being spent on
trying to make that assumption a reality.
Because they expected this to happen, they
assumed it was their fault (or someone's fault)
when it didn't. One by one they experienced
disappointment and burnout. Burnout is caused
by unfulfilled expectations. It doesn't have
anything to do with the actual amount of work
done.
I sincerely hope that all the women who have
worked on SpH understand that they have
succeeded. It doesn't take hundreds of women to
get a job done. They are proof of that. If all the
energy and frustration spent on trying to get
other women interested, had been put into the
project itself, SpH would probably have a dozen
communities going by now. But I think we are
all satisfied with the one we have. By taking in
one resident at a time and dealing with her
needs, the board will methodically get SpH to
that "point of completion" envisioned by
everyone for the past eight years. A job very
well done.
Sustana
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
SPINSTERHAVEN
Join Now!
NEEDS
Please consider making a monthly pledge.
Membership Fees: $5.00 =low•income
$10.00 =basic
$25.00
NAME: _________________________
ADDRESS:---------------------------------Mail to Spinsterhaven, Jnc. P.O. Box 118, Fayetteville, AR 12702
YOU!
=Contributor
Join Now!
$50.00 = Sponsor
DATE: ________
_
P.O. Box 718
Fayetteville, AR 72702
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