Nolose News_1998.Winter.pdf
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- Nolose News_1998.Winter.pdf
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Winter 1998
NOLOSE NEWS
National Organization for
Lesbians
Of SizE
A Support, Sociai and Networking Group for
Women who identify as Lesbians and who are
fat or fat positive.
OUR FAT STORIES
LOCAL GROUP HAPPENINGS
This section features stories from our
readers about their experiences
growing up fat, or living fat in the world.
Please send your submissions to us
either by mail or email.
Is your local support group doing
exciting things you'd like to share with
us? Activities, ideas, protests?
Please send your submissions to us
either by mail or email.
A CONGRESS OF FATGIRLS
Submitted by Fat is a Lesbian IssueNew York City
Louise Rubalow
I have been fat all my life. Like me, you
have most likely experienced jeers, taunts,
ridicule, derision and abuse all because
you weighed more - you were fat. During
my adolescence I found the abuse rather
unsettiing, not because i beiieved their
banter, but because I knew they did not
know the real me. I knew I was a great
person if they would only give me a
chance . I was a great kid with a great
sense of humor and had a heart of gold.
Unfortunately, before they even met me,
they saw fat and all the negative things
that agree with this stereotype.
Unfortunately, I did not have the skills or
the savvy to ward off these attacks and as
a result I became less trusting and more
jaded to my situation.
In the Spring before my 14th birthday, my
(continued on page 6)
November 21st was the date of the
second FLAB getaway. With 16 beautiful
fat wimmin in a spacious cabin, we were all
set for fun . The weekend was set at the
Presbyterian Center in Holmes, New York,
near Brewster. We arrived in several
different groups on Friday night with
wimmin traveling from as far away as Ohio
and Pennsylvania and as close as New
York. We brought with us a variety of
games, music, and snacks to share. Within
a short space of time, we had set up our
common room with the treasures of our
bounty. The common room became a
focal point of weekend as wimmin
gathered at all hours, sharing good
company, great food and music as well as
engaging in games of all sorts.
(continued on page 7)
2
NOLOSE NEWS
NOTES FROM THE FOUNDER
Letters from our Readers
It has been an exciting month for
NOLOSE. We received a warm reception
at SeaFATtle (the West Coast Fat
Women's gathering- see article on page 5)
and a great deal of support overall from
the Fat Acceptance Community. We have
links set up with several sites on the
Internet, including NAAFA, and our site
has received a "Size Wise Award" fer its
content. We are excited about the
implementation of our bulletin board,
coming up soon, and our computer
exchange program (see announcement
this issues for details.) We are also
announcing this issue, a new program for
creative writing called the NOLOSE
Reader.
NOLOSE has been running continuous
ads in Lesbian Connection and are
receiving heart warming responses from
fat lesbians nationwide who have not
heard of or who are not connected in any
way to the fat acceptance movement at
this time. And are they glad we are here!!
I would like to clarify some
misconceptions about NOLOSE, however.
We are not a "virtual" organization. While
we will be using the Web extensively as a
tool, our main goal is accessibility io all
Lesbians. To accomplish this, all
programs of NOLOSE will be accessible
by phone or mail as well.
A registration form is on the back page
of this issue. If you have not yet joined
NOLOSE, or even if you can not join at
this time, please fill in the registration form
and send to us. The forms will enable us
to compile data about local support groups
around the country for our National
Directory.
Fat's the way it is - Dot Turnier
Dear friend,
My name is Vickie. I loved the letter you
wrote to Lesbian Connection (Ed note:
Nov/Dec 97 issue) about fat lesbians. I
have been heavy for 20 years and have
gotten ridiculed about it. My mother told
me I was too fat. She would say "what
happ,ened to that skinny, loving kid I used
to know?" I had a lover who put me on a
diet because she was ashamed of my size.
Makes me wonder why she was with me in
the first place if she didn't like my size. But
then again, she's an alcoholic and skinny
thing that she was she always called
herself fat and would always diet to try and
lose weight. She wanted me caught up in
her sickness about her size. I lost weight
but I starved the whole time. I was angry
and miserable. I hated her for what she
was doing to me. Every time I left the
house she accused me of eating things .
I have lived most of my life being fat
and feeling ashamed . One day I heard a
man talking about me at work. I heard him
tell his wife "If you ever get that fat I'll beat
it off you." I was so humiliated.
Anyway, thanks for writing on such a
sore subject. It made me feel so good to
l~now thare are other -..,vomen out there like
me, and I don't have to feel bad about my
size anymore. Please send information
about the National Organization for
Lesbians of Size. I am very interested in
learning more about them. I look forward
to hearing from you .
Sincerely, Vickie G.
Dear Fat-lovin' sister,
My name is Katherine. I am Vickie's
partner. I too loved the letter in lesbian
connection. I love the whole topic, and I
was glad all those people got pissed off
(continued on page 3)
3
·
BELLY SONGS
AVAILABLE
A Practical Guide
to Successful Living
Fat girls let your shirts ride up
Lie down on the cold spring dirt
and get mud on your fat backs
(from Belly Songs: A Celebration of Fat
Women - reprinted with the permission of
Susan Stinson)
Belly Songs: In Celebration of Fat Women
is back in print. The collections of
sensuous, joyous poetry and short fiction
by Susan Stinson, who is also the author
of the novels Fat Girl Dances with Rocks
and Martha Moody, has been reprinted in a
limited edition of 500 copies. To order,
send $ 8 per copy, plus$ 1.50 postage
and handling (plus 50 center for each
additional copy), to The Fund for Women
Artists, 351 Pleasant St., Suite 108,
Northampton, MA 01060. Please be sure
to note that your order is for Belly Songs.
In conjunction with the announcement
about the reprinting of Belly Songs,
NOLOSE announces a New Creative
Publication. Recognizing that there are
limited resources for writing by and or
about fat lesbians, we will be publishing
the NOLOSE Reader (until we receive a
better name from our creative writers!).
We feel a creative publication will give
creative artists a forum that will do justice
to their work, while providing access to
these writings to a readership who craves
them. Susan Stinson writes to us" A place
for fat lesbians to read and publish poetry
and short fiction about our bodies, lives,
stuggles and joys-- what a fabulous idea! I
can't wait to read it."
NOLOSE NEWS
We will begin compiling works
immediately so, writers, send us your work
(you will, of course, retain all rights to it)
and readers, join now to ensure that you
do not miss the first issue of the NOLOSE
Reader!!
Letters from our readers
(continued from page 2)
and wrote in about it.
I have been thin most of my life. People
used to call me "wiry" when I was little. I
can remember as early as fourth grade
starting to weigh myself and worrying that I
weighed all of seventy pounds!
As a young woman I was built like a
brick shit house but still never liked my
body. I exercised and dieted constantly
and no matter how thin I was all I saw was
fat. Finally I read "The Beauty Myth" by
Naomi Wolf and it changed my life. I
immediately stopped dieting and never
looked back. I gained about 15 pounds,
then lost 30 and have hovered within 20 or
so pounds since then. Mostly I don't notice.
I don't own a scale and never weigh
myself. I don't watch what I eat. I eat what I
want, when I want, as much as I want. I
have finally learned to love my body and I
think it is beautiful the way it is. The past
two years I have gained about 40 pounds
and weigh more than ever, but I'm not
stressed about it. I eat healthy and I'm
active . I just bought bigger clothes and
went on with life.
Personally I love heavy women. I think
Vickie is beautiful. I hate that people gave
her so much crap about her size so now
she frets so much about being fat. I love
her size and I hope someday she will
accept that. I came out of the closet about
six years ago and every lover I've had has
been fat. I once dated a thin woman . Yeah
(continued on page 4)
4
,
Letters from our Readers
(continued from page 3)
she looked great in her jeans, but when I
got her home and out of her clothes, I was
bored. I hated those bones sticking out of
her and no tits! Ugh. She looked like a boy!
I don't want to be with a boy. I want a
woman!
I like a woman who is round and soft. I
like pillowy,cushiony women with nice
breasts, and a round belly drives me crazy!
I like the feel of her weight on top of me.
That skinny woman felt like nothing. I could
have thrown her through the ceiling. I like
putting my arms around a large woman
and feeling all of her size .
It feels very powerful to me. I think being
fat is the ultimate rebellion. I can hear
society screeching at us "How dare you be
fat?" It is like the ultimate way of taking
control of ourselves as women. We should
all be larger and take up more space so
they have to notice us. If we stay large
they can't overpower us. No man would
dare try to overpower Vickie or me. The
two of us would squash him to death! I am
letting myself grow larger as I grow older.
There was a time in history when fat was a
sign of wealth. It was a sign of health and
prosperity. I think it is a natural process my
body is going through as it ages. A very
wise friend of mine once said to me "You
should eat all you can because someday
you might find yourself starving to death
and wished you eaten all those wonderful
foods".
I recently read "The Body Project" by
Joan Jacobs Brumberg. It was sobering to
realize how we have internalized weight
control. Whale bone corsets were bad
enough, but is starvation and self-loathing
any better? Check this book out. It's
wonderfully affirming.
Thanks for offering such a wonderful
resource for and about fat women. I am a
NOLOSE NEWS
fan of fat women for sure. I don't want
women to be ashamed of their size any
more. I love you all and I want fat women
to be proud of their size and not hide it.
Fat women are beautiful. Let's start a
revolution!
Sincerely, Katherine A.
Dear NOLOSE:
I would like to share with you a short
reflection on the Fall Fat Women's
Gathering in Seattle,Nov. 1997
This was my 4th Fat Women's
Gathering. One thing that happens every
time I go to one of these is that I'm able to
lose my self-consciousness and
defensiveness about my body. Even
though I don't often obsess about my size,
it's almost impossible not to be aware, on
some level, of the daily negativity that
makes up my life as a fat woman in this
culture.
Without even realizing I'm doing it, I'm
always conscious of my size and shape,
the way I sit and stand, how I eat (and
what I eat, and how much I eat), what I'm
wearing, how my clothes are draping on
my body. It's just a little background
process that's continuously running, and I
don't realize how much noise it makes until
it stops.
Suddenly I'm in this place where it's
safe to be fat, and everything
changes. I can relax, and all the
unconscious, involuntary use of my
energy, which I need to guard myself
against the world's negative attitudes, is
given back to me. For those few days, I
don't have to wonder if my stomach's
hanging out, or if someone's looking at
what's on my plate. Instead I can put all m
energy into having a great time connecting
with other intelligent, thoughtful, gorgeous
fat women.
(continued on page 5)
5
Letters from our Readers
(continued from page 4)
This conference had many wonderful
workshops - almost too many, as
there were quite a few intriguing ones I had
to turn down so I wouldn't miss something
else, and sometimes those choices were
hard.
In general, there was so much to do:
workshops, pool parties (one official one
and many impromptu ones), shopping,
panel discussions.dancing, theatrical
entertainment (play, talent show), and
impromptu room parties.
There were lots of other wonderful
things going on but these are the
highlights that stand out in my mind:
- Susan Stinson's "Belly Songs" writing
workshop
- Naomi Finkelstein's short story reading
during the talent show
- The resolution of the mystery in the play
- Gretchen Glass singing the "I Am" song
- "Chunky-dunking" (as opposed to
skinny-dipping) in the pool & hot
tub
- The hugging exercise at the closing
Kudos to SeaFATtle for organizing a
highly-energetic, creative, well-planned,
welcoming and entertaining event with so
much warmth and love.
Joyce W.
SeaFattle, West Coast Fat
Women's Gathering
ByDot Turnier
SeaFattle, the West Coast Fall Fat
Women's Gathering was held in the
SeattlefTacoma area from November 7
through 10. Attended by approximately 80
women, it was a weekend celebrating the
origins of the fat acceptance movement,
envisioning the future and connecting with
friends, old and new.
NOLOSE N~WS
Workshops ranged from the political, to the
sexual, and fat women could be found
romping around the pool any time of the
day. A murder mystery, written by Miriam
Berg and Summer, was presented on
Saturday night, with some interesting
revelations. We enjoyed the many talents
of our own on Sunday night with a talent
show with some moving and exciting
performances. Prior to the trunk sale,
which boasted over 20 vendors, we were
treated to a fashion show, again, featuring
our own beautiful bodies. For me, as an
East Coast newcomer to the West Coast
Gathering, it was an exhilarating
experience. For information on future Fat
Women's Gathering throughout the
country, write the Feminist Caucus, a SIG
of NAAFA at PO Box 29614, Oakland.CA
94604-9614.
COMPUTER EXCHANGE
PROGRAM
Did you receive a new computer or
peripherals for the holidays? Would you
like to help another Fat Lesbian get on
line? Donate your old computers,
components and/or your time to another
Fat Lesbian througn NOLOSE!! Do you
need help getting on line? Need technical
help or equipment? Contact NOLOSE and
we may be able to help you acquire
equipment and assist you technically.
REGIONAL NOLOSE MEETINGS!!
Interested in helping to organize regional
meetings for NOLOSE? Contact us!!
6
---
OUR FAT STORIES(Continued from page 1)
parents informed me that they were
sending me to diet camp that summer.
Mind you , they did not ask me if I wanted
to go, they were sending me. They took
me to Weight Watchers when I was 10, a
diet doctor with speed when I was 11, and
counseling when I was 12. Nothing was
working. Their daughter was not the thin
princess they W3nted her to be. They had
to once again try something. To use their
words, "We just can't let you let yourself
go."
Naturally, I was appalled. I did not want
to be caged up for a perfectly good
summer and I was ashamed that I was in
this situation. I always had to try to be
better, thinner, smarter and cuter. Many
tears and much pleading did not change
my parents' minds. I was going. I would
love it and to use their words once again ,
"Think of how much weight you'll lose."
I was not a happy camper. At least until
I started getting to know the other girls in
my bunk. Girls who were like me and
shared the same kind of diet nightmare
stories, the ridicule and the shame of not
fitting into society's idea of what was
normal. We also shared the true joy of
eating .
That summer I played sports with wild
abandon, loved our silly evening activities,
laughed continually and conspired with my
sisters on ways to raid the kitchen . My fat
contemporaries knew me as the neat kid I
was, not the kid who was fat and fat alone .
The Kitchen Caper was way too
dangerous, and besides, what would we
find in the freezer - chicken, salad,
fruit. .... ..We wanted FOOD! So we
planned our getaway. With $ and
instructions from our sister campers (who
were covering for us) we headed into town
to buy bagels, and candy and anything we
,
NOLOSE NEWS
could find . We got to town by around
10:30am. We went into a local
luncheonette and ordered burgers, fries
and milk shakes. I think the waitress
thought it strange that we were eating that
type of food that early in the day. We hit
the bagel bakery and the candy store and
with the chutzpah of kids who were living
on the edge, we took a cab back to camp,
parking just far enough away, so that we
could stuff the food in our bra, socks,
undervvear - you name it. \/\/hat a rush
that trip was . We had such fun. I didn't
realize I could have such fun with other
girls.
Or did I? That summer I had the most
huge crush on the Sports Counselor,
(Karen Lundquist aka Swifty, if you are out
there, I'm still waiting) I did things only a
fool in love would do. Swifty became ill
and had to go to the infirmary. I feigned
illness so that I too could be with her. I
was so lucky. I was in the bed next to her.
I stared at her all night. My heart was
aflutter - I was in lust! I didn't really know
the word for what I was feeling because it
felt so natural.
That was the summer I fell in love with
my first woman and felt normal around my
fat sisters . Today, when I dream about Fat
Camp I wake up remembering all the fun I
had and wish I could have slept longer to
remember more wonderful memories. We
were a congress of fatgirls who changed
each others' lives.
HOLIDAY/FAMILY STORIES
Do you have a story about your holiday or
with your family that is interesting, funny,
touching, or anger provoking? Brought a
lover home for the first time? Came out as
a fat-accepting Lesbian? Ate what you
wanted and told your family to bug off?
Wanted dealing to but didn't? Please
share your story with us at the address
listed on the last page.
1
1
Univjjjj[1~111mii~I~ll[llf1[1i1lifi[lf11111md, OK
M 001 111 665
7
NOLOSE NEWS
LOCAL GROUP HAPPENINGS
(Continued from page 1)
Saturday night, we were treated to a
sumptuous indoor barbecue, prepared by
the staff at the Presbyterian Center. We
were by ourselves as we dined in the main
building of the center where meals are
served. After eating, we went off to a living
room area, to sit by a fireplace, singing
songs and telling tales about ourselves as
we played the toilet paper game. (Ed.
Note: everyone rips off the amount of toilet
paper they would use and then tells
something about themselves for each
sheet they rip off.)
Our last day there, ended with a brunch
prepared by the center. As we gathered
together for one last time, we discussed
our weekend getaway. Everyone was
pleased with how the weekend turned out
although we felt there were some
accessibility issues to work on, such as
ramp access to the cabin as well as the
wooden bunks . We all look forward to
planning a third weekend .
Some personal notes, thank you Gail and
Shira for organizing this event. Thank you
to all of the wimmin who shared of their
time and talent to make this weekend a
success: especialiy Diana for her poker
lessons and Michelle for the treats she
whipped up: those hot treats she cooked
up in the cabin and her beautiful bare
breasted wimmin lollipops.
focused on weight loss. We believe in
leading full productive and enjoyable lives,
no matter what our size. We meet
together as women to share support, have
fun, network, put forth a positive size
acceptance message and to change the
world. We've been meeting formally since
May of '97 . This past month Au Courant, a
local paper in Philadelphia did a piece on
living large. We got a lot of great press . In
our growth process we'd like to
investigate/consider the development of
policies and procedures, planning
structure, dues, fund raising, educational
and social programming and other
assorted issues. If you could send us
anything you have that's written down that
relates to these issues we'd appreciate it
very much . Looking at how other
successful organizations have done things
will help us make some decisions. You
can send the information to
wheezles@aol.com. If you can send hard
copy by snail mail, please email me
personally and I will send out my home
address.(Ed note: Or send to NOLOSE
and we will forward) Thanks so much for
your help.
To contact NOLOSE:
NOLOSE
245 Eighth Ave.# 107
New York, NY 10011
Tel: (201) 843-4629
Web Site: www.breakinc.com/nolose
E mail: NOLOSEE@aol.com
Submitted by Full Bloom Women Philadelphia
Membership: $ 20 annually
L{,m,ued, ~ ~ . \ - ' ~ w o r k ,
Hello-Full Bloom Women out of Philadelphia is a
group for fat women of all sexualites
(lesbian, bi-sexual and straight) and all
sizes of large who are on the path towards
self-acceptance. We are not a group
~cw~.
Whether you are joining at this time or
not, please fill out and send in
registration form that is on the back
page!!
National Organization for Lesbians of SizE
Registration Form
Please note all information will remain confidential and is optional. Even ifyou do not wish to
join at this time, please fill inform/or our census.
Do you wish to join?
_ _ _ (check if yes)
Name:
Address:
Telephone No. _____________
Er:1ail address: - - - - - - - - - - - - - Do you want to be put on our mailing list? ___ (check if yes)
or do you want to access us on line only?
(check if yes)
or both?
(check if yes)
How did you hear about NOLOSE?
Have you looked at our web site? _ _ (check if yes)
Any feedback?
Do you have a local size acceptance support group? _ _ (check if yes)
Is it women only, Lesbian only, Lesbian friendly (circle all that apply)
Name and address and phone number of local group (for our mailing list and directory)
If you wish to join, enclose a$ 20 check payable to NOLOSE and mail to 245 Eighth Ave.# 107,
NY, NY 10021. Your membership fees go to support NOLOSE programs.
For more information, you can visit our web site at www.breakinc.com/nolose, email us at
nolosee@aol.com or call us at (201)843-4629.
Part of NOLOSE News : (1998:Winter)