LesbianPrideNewsletter_v5.no6.2000.06.pdf
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- LesbianPrideNewsletter_v5.no6.2000.06.pdf
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Property of the Center
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Volume V, #6 (54) June
____
____________________
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© 2000 Makaw ~\
~~~
Memories of my sister
by Marilda Mel White
My sister's birthday is this month, and I want to wish her peace
and happiness, even though I know she will never know I'm doing it.
In fact, my sister Sandra won't really know it's her birthday. She
has been unaware of the world around her for many years now.
Almost 30 years ago, when she was 21, Sandee showed the first
signs of an illness that would never really be diagnosed - after many
doctors all over the U.S. and countless x-rays, tests and unsuccessful
treatments, it was at some point termed a "degenerative neurological
disorder."
But no matter what it was called, whatever was going wrong
with her robbed her of a normal life, slowly taking away her physical
abilities and her mental abilities, and eventually putting her into a
convalescent hospital where she lives today.
The experience over the years has been hard on our family, to
say the least. My sense of personal loss - of never knowing Sandee as
an adult and a friend as well as a sister; of never seeing what her life
and our family might have been like if she had married, worked, had
children; of wondering what contributions she may have made to the
world - is most acute around this time of year.
My mother tells me that I was excited when Sandee was born,
and that I wanted to help take care of her. I don't remember that part,
but I do remember thinking of Sandra as a tag-along little sister when
2.
we were children - sometimes, as far as I was concerned, a pain-inthe-neck little kid because I was the older, know-it-all, different kind
of pain-in-the-neck big sister.
And then as we matured, I saw that Sandee and I were about as
opposite as day and night. Those differences led us on different paths,
with different interests and different friends.
Then, later still, when we were both through with college and
she was already ill (but we didn't yet know how seriously it would
affect her), she and I at last started to know and like each other as
adults. In spite of our differences, I welcomed her into my world, and
she came willingly.
h1 fact, she visited me in Oklahoma City once and I took her to a
gay bar one night when I was doing a show. I introduced my little
sister to all of my friends and acquaintances, and then I sang a coming
out song and dedicated it to her; she smiled at me and was somewhat
embarrassed by the attention.
Later that evening she disappeared with a friend of mine named
Curtis, and even though I knew Curtis to be a good and honorable
woman, I paced tl1e floor like any protective big sister would and
didn't rest until they got home to my house at dawn. I still do not
know what passed between them - they only said they both had a
good time getting to know each other.
It was also that particular night that my girlfriend at the time
suggested I stop thinking of Sandee as "my little sister," and I did.
Shortly after that, our time of learning and discovery and a deepening
relationship with Sandee was cut short by her progressing illness, and
I will never know what might have been.
But I am so glad we had that little time that we did. I'm glad I
shared with her who I was, and I'm glad that she accepted me and
my friends and found her own friends within my world. And I'm
glad Christi helped me see that Sandee was an ad ult in her own right,
and not just my little sister.
Now, though, I only have those precious memories, along with a
variety of fantasies about how different everything in my life would
be if hers had rot turned out the way it did. But this set of experiences
and circumstances is what we were dealt, and this is the way it is. I
wish Sandee peace and happiness because that is all I can wish for
her.
And for you, dear readers, I hope that if you have a sister, you
never take time for granted, and that you share with her whatever
you can, whenever you can, as often as you can.
3.
~~ June Affirmations
I am aware of the different ways
to be that there are,
and I am happy with the way I am.
by Stacy Chandler
'
I do not hide who I am from the world:
I do not hide who I am from myself.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
G
E
M
I
N
I
enerous to a fault.
ver envisioning your future.
aximizing your potential.
nterested in a myriad of subjects.
ever restricted by mundane thoughts.
daes! Nourishment for your mind and soul.
I
*Be warned: The views expressed above
do not necessarily reflect the aura of the cosmos.
w
The, ~ t"e,m,pt"cLt"t..ow 'to-~
for 'to& Uttl,e✓,
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If you, do-nJ-t w£Nt'\t't-o-~~
~ ~erton,
do-nft" ccu-ry the, bt:il.L.
- A n..w lvtcKet:rthom:p.wn,
On the Bright Side
A Collection of Selected Columns by Marilda Mel White
155 pages of looking on the bright side;
limited edition; spiral-bound; $10 ppd
Makaw, PO Box 5812, Denver, CO 80217
Photo note cards (blank inside) $12 postpaid
for 6 cards & envelopes (variety/summer/nature scenes)
or merry mailboxes (specify which)
Photography by Marilda Mel White
I march in solidarity with those who share my pride
Many yearshavepassedsince tlzefirst "GayP<rwer"
rally that
comnzemoratedthe StonewallInn riots.Accountsvary aboutwhat
actuallyhappenedwizenpoliceraidedtlzeGreenwi.chVillagegay bar
the night of June27, 1969,but historianshavedocumentedthe
diversihJof lesbiansandgay men who participatedin tlzeseveral
days of resistance.As I join with othersto commemoratethat symbol
of the lesbianand gay politicalactionmovenzents,I celebratetlze
powerwe have in marchingand workingtogetlzer.
With tlzeamazingdiversihJamonglesbiansand gay men, it
may seemat times that we are many communitiesratherthan a
unifiedgroup. But I havemuch in commonwith thosewho walk with
me on this day of sharedpride.WizenI find myselfemphasizingour
differences,I remind myselfof our commonalties:our humanness,
our same-sexorientation,our understanding of oppression,our need
to belongto a largercommunity,our visionof liberation,and our
pridein who we areas a people.WizenI am willing to lookbet;ond
how we are differentto how we are similar,I find it easierto respect
eachperson'sjournet;and affirm that all of us areneededfor our
continuedprogressand liberation.
Today,I feel pridein what my communitt;hasaccomplished
over the years sinceStonewall.Throughour courage,our mutual
empowerment,our tenaciousness,and our willingnessto continue
envisioningbetter tomorrowsfor ourselvesand otlzers,we havemade
a difference.
- Eleanor Ruth Wagner, LavenderReflections
MAKAW, PO Box 5812, Denver, CO 80217
5,
4.
I
J
Congratulations, Lee Lynch
LesbianPride Newsletter is pleased to regularly run "The Amazon
Trail" by Lee Lynch, and we offer Lee another round of congratulations: "The Amazon Trail" is believed to be the longest running gay
column ever. Twelve months per year for the past 15 years - now
that's quite an accomplishment!
We are please~ to continue to celebrate gay lives with the column,
and offer our thanks to Lee as well as our congratulations.
(Note: If you enjoy reading Lee Lynch's work here in this
newsletter and want to read more, you can find her books in your
local women's or independent bookstores, or order directly from New
Victoria Press, Box 27, Norwich, VT 05055.)
.
Lcib4wcleii?
:____________
It' ,vti,me,,t"o-ve-new your
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Beloved Muse
by Award winning Lesbian poet Anne Wilson
$7 each (signed copies, includes postage/handling)
Rainfever Productions
% Wilson, 390 W University #26, San Diego, CA 92103
Rememberings and Celebrations, a 64-card deck of
Loving Reminders of the Great Mother's Voice
available through Robyn Posin Box 725, Ojai, CA 93024
(805-646-4518)
www.forthelittleonesinside.com
LAVENDER REFLECTIONS by Eleanor Ruth Wagner
A book of affirmations for lesbians and gay men.
Meditations & quotations with photos & holiday entries.
Great gift for yourself and for those you love.
Personally autographed by request; $10.95 ppd. from author:
5529 Vernon Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55436
STATES TAKE OPPOSITE ACTIONS ON ADOPTION
BY SAME-SEX COUPLES
This year's state legislative sessions featured a flurry of activity
regarding adoption by same-sex couples. The Governor of Mississippi
signed a bill into law May 3 that would ban same-sex couples from
adopting just as the Connecticut state senate overwhelmingly passed
a bill that would allow unmarried individuals to adopt the biological
children of their partners.
The Governor of Connecticut has said he will sign that bill, which
will allow" second-parent adoptions" and permit same-sex partners
both to be legally recognized parents.
Meanwhile in March, Utah passed a law that bans all unmarried,
cohabiting couples from adopting children. Utah and Mississippi join
Florida, which currently bans any gay or lesbian individual from
adopting. If the Governor signs the bill, Connecticut will become the
first state to permit second-parent adoptions through legislation.
However, approximately 20 other states and the District of
Columbia already permit such adoptions through existing step-parent
statutes and other court means.
"The battle over what constitutes a family took center stage in
several state legislatures this year," said Robin Kane, advocacy
director for the Family Pride Coalition, a national network of GLBT
parenting groups and individuals.
In arguing for the adoption bans in Mississippi and Utah,
proponents repeatedly pointed to adoption as a "back door" to
marriage and argued that adoption must be stopped to avoid samesex marriage.
"Good bills outpaced bad bills on GLBT issues in general this
year, but bad laws outnumber good laws enacted on adoption this
year," Kane said. "This is a struggle that will certainly grow rather
than slow."
"Now is the time to educate and motivate in states that might face
bills like those in Utah or Mississippi," Kane said. "GLBTparents and
families must become leaders in efforts to defeat these attacks on our
ability to care for our children. We need to advance the public
discussion about our families."
Founded in 1979, the mission of the Family Pride Coalition is to
advance the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents and
their families through mutual support, community collaboration, and public
understanding.
Kane at 202/332-0082
7.
6.
by LEE LyNc~
REAL BOYS DON'T DIE
In the early sixties I spent a lot of time, like most teens, trying to
figure out who I was. My best resource was the library ..The section
where I found the most relevant information was Criminology.
New York, where I lived, considered me a juvenile delinquent
because I was a gay kid. Never mind that I was well brought up,
didn't skip school and;br carry a switchblade like some of the non-gay
girls.
Nevertheless, I was a young criminal and the studies of female
"deviants" in prison were all I had of literature about myself. Often,
their criminality was attributed to their variant natures. Occasionally
they were granted a kind of forgiveness. After all, the women studied
were in jail, without men, poor things, so they had to make do. I was
suspicious of these studies - if researchers studied women in prison
then all the lesbians they studied would be, guess what? Criminals!
I admired these "bad" women. It never occurred to me that they
might actually be criminals. They were gay; if they stole it was
because they couldn't get decent jobs and if they assaulted it was
because they couldn't control the circumstances of their lives.
Living happily ever after was not to be for them. Inside, they fell
in love with and fought for straight women who might go back to
men. I can't imagine why I was so proud and happy that I was queer
like these women, or why reading about them gave me such a thrill. If
I was sick, then it was an illness I treasured. If I had to survive in their
world then I would - and by my wits, not by my fists, although I was
perfectly ready to use those if I had to. My brother, as if sensing the
vulnerability of my difference, had taught me long before how to box.
Despite my queer attraction to these lesbians, I knew I'd never be
quite like them. Sure, I could talk kind of tough, but I was better at
keeping my mouth shut and getting teased about being the strong
silent type. Sure, I had to walk like I had no fear, but I'd never exactly
mastered a girlish sashay in the first place. And of course I had to
learn to drink, a talent for which my genes showed great promise.
Oh, and I was a crimj.nal. I'd fallen in love with my best friend that made me a menace to society, right?
Since the film Bcn;sDon't Cry opened, several women I know
have come back looking shell-shocked. I can't bear to see the movie,
but I guess they got a bigger dose of reality than they'd paid for.
Brandon Teena may have been trans, or may have been a lesbian
in drag, or may not have used those terms at all. However he
identified, all that I've read and heard has taken me right back to my
baby butch days. It's important that this film is out there because it
apparently graphically demonstrates that nothing's really changed there are still women who are attracted to other women, act on it, and
are punished by society one way or another, sometimes by vicious
men like Teena's accused murderers.
I certainly had gender issues as a kid, but I didn't want to be a
male. I found them foreign creatures, too large, too loud and so
arrogant Why should they always get the last say, I remember
thinking. And they did get the last say - at least the last Teena ever
heard.
When I came out some of us were really into drag or even into
passing- at age 14 and earlier. This wasn't the same as wanting to
live as a man. For a little while each week or each day we felt strong
in our boy clothes. We didn't get stared at when we put an arm
around our girlfriends. We walked more freely in the world.
Somehow, my friends and I managed to stay out of major
trouble - and to stay alive. I remember lying on a bed fully clothed, a
fascinating young woman beside me, when her boyfriend came upon
us. He started physically bullying me. I was good at the squirm and
run maneuver and managed to plunge into the thick of the ongoing
party where he couldn't get at me. How many of us have had these
close encounters?
It may now be legal for women to wear men's clothing and to
make love with women. but it can still get one killed. If Teena had
done male hormones and surgery he might be still be alive.
Who knows what will be standard forty years from Brandon
••.Teena's death and after forty years of gender exploration? Maybe
we're evolving toward blended genders. Or will kids, trans or gay,
still be reading criminology texts to find themselves - as victims?
CopyrightLeeLynch 2000
8.
9.
thw
month}
!-~po-er.
Vtcrorta, Barnar
Wanna?
All the girls are dressed up walking by for each other,
The wind catches your feet and here comes but another.
Like the coldest winter chi1'
She stops, stares, and offers a,colored pill
You do what you wanna, do,
As you stop and stare you waz soon pursue.
As you look over your shoulder you soon see the
.
Prince of Darkness,
A sudden eclipse of the heart shows all the blackness.
Dream chasing and sparks that tum to ice,
All the brilliance makes it feel so nice.
Sounds of the mind make you unwind,
Filtering through the cra.cks of life it becomes unkind.
No one can see,
What has been held inside of me.
Flowers linger in fragrance a.sthe bird sings,
No one hears the rustle of the angels' wings.
Dancing on the stage of memories unrecognizable to me,
Your thoughts and whispers come through the wind
for me to see.
As the girls appear again with palms extended,
You choose your life a.nd not the end.
10.
GOLDEN THREADS
is a worldwide network designed to end _loneliness
and isolation
among midlife
and older
GOLDEN
THREADS
Lesbians.
is a discreet
contact publication
for Lesbian
women over 50, and younger Lesbians
(no woman
is excluded because of her age). send a SASE
to: GOLDEN THREADS P. 0. Box 6 5,
Richford,
VT 05476-0065,
or email:
GOLDENTRED@aol.com See us at:
http://members.ao1.coa/goldentred/index
.htm
Sample copy mailed discreetly
$5.
US/Canada (US dollars)
Other countries
$10
(US dollars,
International
Postal Money Order)
Do you know about ... ?
International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association
Founded in 1981, the International Gay and Lesbian Travel
Association is committed to professional excellence in promoting
travel opportunities, services, products, and above all choices for gay
and lesbian consumers.
Through its vast network with over 1,350 members today, IGLTA
enhances its leadership by maintaining an effective, visible and
growing association of professionals in travel, hospitality, and related
businesses. Its worldwide headquarters are in Fort Lauderdale,
Florida. However, its directors and members may be found on every
continent in both hemispheres.
Our World Magazine
11-4 North Nova Road Suite 251
Dayton Beach, FL 32117
904-441-5367
www.ourworldmag.com
11 .
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
by
Stacy ChandJu
$12 ppd.
SPECULATORs. INC.
P.0.8-'9038
Troy,MJ48099
ISBN 0-90PW-0-8
ISLAND LESBIAN CONNECllON
is a
newsletter by, for and about gay women In
Hawarl. Subscribe for $10-20/year. based on your
abiHty to pay. or send $2 for a sample issue.
/LC
Ste 171 Box 356
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For a changeIn yourlife,we Inviteyou to tiy: THE
WISHINGWELL Featurescul'TIIOt
member'sself
deseriptlons (listed by code), letta!S,photos,
resources,reviews,and ffl01'8. Introductorycopy
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loving alternativeto 1he Wellof Loneliness.
Confidential,sensitive, supportive, clgnlfied. Very
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promptInformation.
Womenarewritingandmeeting
Dear Savvy Sappho,
In this day and age of waffling convictions and values, where
does one turn to find heroes and heroines?
Signed, Aspirant
Dear Aspirant,
You can always look to your God for one to worship, and to
yourself for someone to adore. Try your dictionary - they're both
listed under the letter "H".
- SS
Dear Savvy Sappho,
My sweetie is spending A LOT of time on the Internet, talking
to women all over the world. How can I get her to shut down the
web and come over and push some of my buttons instead?
Signed, Psyched Out in Cyberspace
Dear Psyched,
Light some candles, wear something exciting to your mate,
and pull out your main fuse connection. Hide it till the next day.
If you have a generator, ditch that too.
- SS
If you are in need of some Sawy Sapphic Solutions for Successful Uving,
send your questions to Sawy Sappho, % Makaw,PO Box 5812, Denver, CO 80217
This month's Savvy Sapphic Solutions for Successful Living lnJ Stacy Chandler.
eachotherEVERYWHERE
through:
<;Jiu70ulwuJ,70dl.
PO Box178440
San Diego CA 921n-8440
(858)270-2779
MC/Visa
laddlewww@aol.com
www.wishingwellwomen.com
-Pcuno-P~
T1uv~ea:t"e$p~w
~-P~- EtheL Wam, 1-1
um{o-vd,
12.
13.
IIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIII
111111111111111111111111111111111 Property of the Center
M 001 111 511
IIIIIIIII
UPCOMING EVENTS
June 11 - 30 LESBIAN LIVES IN MEXICO
For all women interested in studying Spanish while learning about lesbian life
in Mexico today. Cetlalic@mail.gigi.com or www.giga.com/-cetlalic
June 22-25, National Women's Music Festival, Ball State University in
Muncie, IN (all indoors), NWMF, PO Box 1427, Indianapolis, IN 46206
317-927-9355 wy,,w.a1.com/wia (that's a number 1)
June 22-25, Golden Threads Celebration, Provincetown, MA; Goldren
Threads, PO Box 65, Richford, VT 05476 802-848-8002
GOLDENTRED@aol.com
August 8-13, 25th Annuak Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, Hart, Ml;
WWTMC, PO Box 22, Walhalla, Ml 49458
231-757-4766
August 21-27, CAMP CAMP, for gay and lesbian adults, in Maine.
1-888-924-8380
www.campcamp.com
Labor Day Weekend, Wiminfest 2000, Albuquerque, NM
1-800-499-5688
www.wiminfest.org
lesl>-ia,n,pr~New;lea-eris
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LesbianPride Newsletter
1999 Collection
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