LesbianPrideNewsletter_v7.no6.2002.06.pdf
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- LesbianPrideNewsletter_v7.no6.2002.06.pdf
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Good-n.ew~ pOiitwe, ~s,,
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VOLUMN VII, ISSUE 6, June 2002
© 2002 MAKAW
The art of placing blame
by Marilda Mel White
Placing blame has become an art in America, with countless devotees. And if there is one phrase to sum up the successful blame artist, it is this: no matter what, it is always the other
person's fault.
For example, if I buy a cup of hot coffee and spill it on
my lap and burn myself, I can blame the people who sold me
the coffee. On the other hand, if someone slips on my sidewalk,
which I didn't bother to shovel, I'm not to blame because people should be smart enough to know that snow is slippery and
if they're careless, they might get hurt.
Or, I can be the victim of a violent crime and I can fight
back, and if the bad guy gets shot or cut, he can blame me for
hurting him while I was protecting myself - and he'll get legal
and financial support from various groups who wouldn't want
to see the poor fellow denied his right to stay injury-free even
during the commission of a felony.
On the other hand, if my gun gets stolen and is used in a
crime, those same groups will say it's my fault for letting my
gun get stolen, and that I (along with the gun manufacturer)
am culpable for damages to the victim.
But then, everyone knows I may not be to blame at all if I
kill my child or beat my neighbor or rape a woman, especially
not if I had a miserable or deprived childhood and was raised
in a dysfunctional family.
2
It gets weirder. I can get cancer and have a reasonable
expectation of living a few more years with the heip of an expensive treatment or medicine, but my medical insurance company can refuse to pay for it - thus signing my death warrant and they are free from blame. Oh yeah, the company that polluted the air or the ground water that caused my cancer is also
blameless. Just ask them.
But I, Mel White - by virtue of the fact that I am a White
Anglo-Saxon Protestant American woman - am to blame for
everything from my husband hitting me to slavery, from the
mistreatment of Native Americans and Jews to the Spanish Inquisition, from losing the lease in Eden to the fall of the Roman
Empire.
Add to my resume that I am a lesbian and I am suddenly,
personally to blame for the decadence of our age, the decline of
the American family, and so on and so forth. But of course, if I
don't get the job I want or the apartment I have my heart set on,
I can always blame society and claim that because I'm gay I just
cant' get a break.
Of course, as an American of any gender or race - sexual preference aside - it is also my fault that people died when
the atom bombs were dropped to end World War II and save
American lives. Conversely, and rather bizarrely, there are
some who consider the terrorist attacks last September to be the
fault of all Americans, too, including the Americans who were
killed.
In other words, there is no end to my being able to escape
or avoid responsibility for anything that happens to me or because of me personally, EXCEPTfor the things over which I
have no control -whether it happens to me or to anyone else,
anywhere else in the world - in which case there is apparently
NO END to my responsibility.
I offer this paraphrase of a popular quote in the perhaps
futile but optimistic hope that somehow, some way, more people will stop playing the blame game and start being accountable for their own actions (and if it doesn't work and they
don't, remember, it's not my fault):
God grant me the serenity of a peaceful life, the wisdom
to make good and decent choices, and the courage to accept
responsibility and consequences when I screw up. ~
3
I
by Lee Lynch
One Queer Voter
Why not be a on~issue voter? I hear this complaintabout
those of us who vote for the peace candidateor the green candidate or the gay-positivecandidate.In these times whenthe fate of
the earth itself is in danger from over-population,pollution and
corporate greed, and when fundamentalismproduces terrorists
from suicide bombers to anti-gay graffiti scribblers, I have to
choosemy priorities.
Lately there have been so manychangesin my life I never
thought to make what has always been for me one of the most
importantnotifications- changingmy address with the county
clerk's office so I could vote. I haven't missed an electionsince I
first registered thirty-five years ago. So a day past what I'd
thoughtwas the deadlineI made a panickeddashto the courthouse
to plead my case. The nonnally somnolentclerks were apparently
so glad to s~e someonewho cared about being able to vote that
~ey leapt to my assistanceand had me out of there, a legal voter,
m under five minutes. I felt relieved and mightily proud. The
grammarschool teachers who taught me my democracylessons
wouldhave been pleased.
But when the ballot arrived in the mail I wonderedwhy I
had bothered.The paucity of selectionwas dispiriting.It forced
one to chooseamongseveralmediocregubernatorialcandidates.I
give the person in that office a good churikof the money I earn
eve~ year ~d I would~e to be sure s/he's got someoutstanding
attribute,behef system, intellector even charismato recommend
her/him.
This is a primaryelection.As a registeredDemocrat,I get
to.help choose who will run against a Republican.There are no
th~d p~ candidates.It's an ironyof this democraticsystemthat
third partiesusuallycan't even get on the ballot, muchless win an
el~tion. SometimesI wonderhow democraticAmericareally is.
Did the foundingfathers really intend our choices to be so narrow? The people who want this particularjob are an ornerywhite
male, a black male who has held a state office with such a low
profilehe mightbe wishingaboutnow that he'd generateda harmless scandal or two, a white womanrumored to have an attitude
problem and another white male no one seems to know anything
about.I'm rea1lygettingpassionateaboutvotingfor...none of them.
Eventhe ballot initiativesare innocuous,but all wantto amend
the state constitution.Not likely, fellas. The only good thing about
this election's crop of initiativesis that the gay rights-crushingOregon CitizensAlliancehas not managedany sneak attacks.It's going
to take an issue like addingsexualorientationas a protectedcategory
or recognizinganimalrights as a governmentpriorityto get me behind making changes to any constitution.I'm about to put a new
bumperstickeron my alreadyweJl-festooned
car- "JustVoteNo."
The initiativesthus addressed,I turnedto the candidatechoices
and did what any good Americanin an electoralquandarydoes: I
polled my gay family to find out how to vote. More specifically,I
asked the Issues Maven, the woman with the real skinny on who's
who and what's what, the person who not only has Opinionsand is
willingto voice them, but knows what she's talking about. We disagreed on one of the selections,but that's because there is no good
choice.
She suggestedthe candidatemost likelyto win in the November electionbecauseso much rides on the outcome.I gag on voting
for a man who, in another office, trampledthe rights of a skimpily
protectedgroup of Americans,victimsof on-the-jobinjuries,in favor
of the employerswho will pull any kind of stunt not to compensate
loyal workerswho have lost careers, seniority,retirementassets and
their livingsto the greatcapitalisticbottomline.
. I feel passionateenoughabout workers'rights to vote my conscience,but the Issues Mavenhad a point.Ratherthan vote for Ralph
Nader in the last presidentialelection,I wantedthe gay-positivecandidate who had a chance to win. With Nader's green votes behind
Gore there would have been no foolingaround with Florida election
results. Gore would have been the Prez right now and the so-called
gay agendawouldnot be ignoredor set back.My politicalconscience
wantsto vote for the greatestgood for the greatestnumber,but even it
agrees that my need to have my queer rights protected is greater. I
simplycan't risk a Republicangovernor.
Why not be a one-issuevoter? What matters more to me than
being queer?Nothing.As long as I'm at risk for beingwho I am, as
long as there is any chance that my democraticgovernment,in the
wro~g hands, can punish me for my desires, I need to make my
choices based on the fact that I'm still a second class citizen who
needs as many gay advocatesin positionsof poweras I can vote in to
protectme. Of courseI'm a one issuevoter. Ll
(CJLeeLy11eh2002
8
9
aissance of lesbian culture in the 1980s. Poets like Judy Grahn,
Minnie Bruce Pratt and Marilyn Hacker shaped our world with their
words. Unravelingat the Name by Jenny Factor will remind readers
of these poets. In fact, serious poetry readers will sigh with relief
knowing that here is one a new generation that will keep lesbian poetry alive and well. Jenny Factor has a tremendous ability to see those
minuscule events that loom large with extraordinary significance and
she is as fully aware and rich with language whether she's writing
about love or learning to drive a car with a stick shift. There's an undeniable femaleness to her poems, which are as accessible as they are
pure and wonderful. [Unraveling at the Name, Jenny Factor, Copper
Canyon Press, $14.00]
en sacred ground
-till(fj:J
by Joy Parks
It TakesAll Kinds
One of my biggest concerns about the state of lesbian
literature now is its undeniable "sameness." Lesbian publishers, and
for that matter, lesbian writers, seem far too content to continue to
churn out the same kinds of books (mostly mysteries, romances and
erotica collections) usually populated by the same undistinguished
characters. And these books continue to be bought and read by readers
who have either become too complacent to demand better, or have
never been exposed to more challenging books. Perhaps it is the result
of the mainstreaming of lesbian culture or perhaps our collective
memory is short. But the point is, without diversity, lesbian literary
culture, like any culture, is in danger of stagnation or death. And we
just can't risk that. Which is why we need books like those featured
this month to remind us that it really does take all kinds.
Grits, Gravyand Girls by Kristen Garrett bears what has to be one of
the worst titles ever given to a book, but at least it's memorable and
hints at the kind of random nuttiness that can be found between the
covers. ·This cryptically comic novel offers readers - at least those
willing to submit to the seduction of its larger-than-life characters and
relative absence of plot - a tremendously honest look at how many
lesbians think, love and live their lives. The book is basically a quick
and hilarious romp through the lives and bedrooms of one time
"Barna" state Basketballs/hero Dimples Rooney and the four wonderfully overdone lesbian characters connected to her as lovers, exs and
lovers of lovers. Sound familiar? Factor in the general eccentricity
that comes of setting a lesbian novel in the south and there's something faintly reminiscent of a roughly written Rita Mae Brown. Despite occasional lapses in language and pacing, an annoying need to
clothe her characters in the physical aspects of conventional beauty
(when did blonde, long-legged and often scantily dressed become
character traits?), Kristen Garrett deserves to be praised for Grits,
Gravy and Girls, particularly for giving us such a viciously sincere
but easy-to-take look at ourselves. [Grits, Gravy and Girls, Kristen
Garrett, Writer's Club Press (iUniverse), $13.95]
For many years, poetry was viewed as an essential factor in the ren-
I
Sacred Classic: A RestrictedCountry
As a femme, I'm ever vigilant and often loud about the fact that
there just aren't enough authentic femme voices in our literature, that
femmes are more likely to be written about than to speak in their own
voices. One glaring and extremely powerful exception to this is Joan
Nestle. Her classic A RestrictedCountry,published in 1987, is important because it brings together both Nestle's incredibly passionate
butch-femme fictions and her political non-fiction writing that deals
with a myriad of issues: her relationship with her mother, her sexuality, human rights and lesbian feminism. A Restricted Country contains
some truly amazing, honest and often difficult work, including
"Esther's Story", which is probably one of the most poignant descriptions of what it means to be stone butch ever written from the femme
perspective. Readers will also find the classic "Butch-Femme Relationships: Sexual Courage in the 1950's," which deals with the power
avai1able to marginalized groups, as well as other writings that stem
from her work as the cofounder of the Lesbian Herstory Archives.
Butch-Femme sexual dynamics are part of diversity and our culture
and Joan Nestle writes about them with understanding, passion and
truth. Which makes A Restricted Country a vital, must-read collection.
[A Restricted Country, Joan Nestle, Firebrand Books, original price,
$8.95]
Ask for these books at your
local feminist bookstore.
©Q©©Q©¥©©¥©Q©©Q©¥©©¥©Q©©¥©¥©©Q©¥©©Q
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11
Prop--:rty of the Center
The Mautner Project for Lesbians with Cancer has won the
largest grant ever awarded for lesbian-specific smoking prevention
and cessation. The Mautner Project was selected to receive $499,000
over three years as part of the American Legacy Foundation's $21
million Priority Populations grant program to build and strengthen
tobacco prevention and cessation efforts and develop creative solutions to populations currently suffering from tobacco's grip.
"Smoking kills more lesbians each year than hate crimes, suicide, and breast cancer combined," says Mautner Project Executive
Director Kathleen DeBold. "We are sick to death of losing our sisters ... this grant will make a difference in our ability to change that."
"People respond best to health promotion and disease prevention programs and messages designed specifically for them by other
members of their community, and delivered by messengers and media
they are familiar with and trust," says DeBold. "The Mautner Project's
anti-smoking programs will be lesbian-designed and lesbian-focused
project." For more information, contact Alex Khalaf at 202-3325536 I akhalaf@mautnerproject.org
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