LesbianPrideNewsletter_v8.no2.2003.02.pdf
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VOLUMN VIII, 1$SUE 2, February 2003
Love is Funny
©2003MAKAW
by Mel White
Love is a funny thing. For example, I just saw the movie Far
FromHeaven and I fell head over heels for Dennis Haybert, the
man who played the gardener. Or rather, since I really don't
know the actor, I fell for the character he played.
I'm white and he's black, which might raise some eyebrows
even nowadays, as it did in the time period of the story, but
that's not what makes it a funny thing for me. The unexplainable part is that I am a lesbian, and it really doesn't matter what
his sexual preference is since he's not a woman and therefore
not a usual object of my affection. Go figure.
I didn't particularly fall for Julianne Moore, who was in the
same movie, and I'm not sure why, though I wouldn't chase
her away if she followed me around one day. I often find myself drawn to a variety of characters onscreen, and if I were to
admit to other unattainable celluloid people upon whom I've
had giant crushes, Sandra Bullock, Holly Hunter and Stockard
Channing come to mind (among others ... ).
Of course real love is different than fun crushes, but no one
can really predict much about that either. One of my ex-lovers
once had an affair with a man after a difficult break-up with the
woman who came after me, and she was embarrassed to tell me
about it at first, but then told me about it after she married another woman. Another lesbian friend of mine is always admiring handsome men and then apologizing, like it matters to me.
Love is a funny thing, and it's unpredictable at best. I've
said it before and I'll say it again - who cares who you
love ...as long as you love.•
2
From the sublime to the ridiculous - and the cynical to the
heartfelt - just about everyone from every era and every walk
of life has something to say about love. Diane Akerman, a
writer (born 1948) noted rightly: "Everyone admits that love is
wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is."
Whatever it may be, there is a veritable plethora of ways to
describe it. Joan Crawford, the actress, once warned that "Love
is fire, but whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn
your house down, you can never tell."
"Love is a great beautifier," said author Louisa May Alcott
(1832-1888);and Reverend Henry Ward Beecher (an American
preacher, 1812-1887)had this wise observation: "Young love is
a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only
light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart
is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable." I like that.
I also like how Woody Allen once described the initial rush
and confusion of new love by claiming, "I was nauseous and
tingly all over .. .I was either in love or I had smallpox." Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
H L Menchen, an American journalist born in 1880 (died in
1956), described love in a way that most of us can relate to, at
least sometimes, when he said, "Happiness is the china shop;
love is the bull," and Amelia E Barr (1831-1919), an English
novelist, reminds us "The fate of love is that it always seems
too little or too much."
So it goes - up or down, good or bad, hot or cold, overbearing or shallow (Julian Barnes, a contemporary British editor
suggests "Love is just a system for getting someone to call you
'darling' after sex") - love is many things, and sometimes it is
all these things. Don Byas, an American jazz artist (1912-1972)
summed it up by saying "You call it madness, but I call it love."
But no matter how you define it, this quote, by another unknown author, reminds us of how important it is to let the
other person know: "A person can be in love with someone
forever till the end of time, but if that person doesn't tell or
show the feelings of love, it will be just another person living in
a dream, lost of true love."
Happy Valentine's Day, and don't be lost. Be sure you let
the one you love know just how much you love her (or him)
-mkw
not just this time of year, but every day.•
3
Become a Card-Carrying Lesbian
My life is getting better every day
Deborah Bonsack, Executive Director of An Uncommon
Legacy Foundation and the Lesbian Leadership Fund, announced recently that the organization has created a membership program for all grant and scholarship recipients, donors,
volunteers and other supporters.
The Foundation, which was incorporated in 1993 has provided grants to more than 150 organizations over the years that
benefit and serve the lesbian community, and annually awards
a series of Lesbian Leadership Scholarships to "out" graduate
and undergraduate lesbian students with leadership potential.
"Legacy has touched so many lives through our grants and
our Lesbian Leadership Scholarship Fund," Bonsack said. "This
is an attempt to maintain the contact, the commitment and the
belief that so many individuals have in Legacy.
She added, "Legacy is all about the power of lesbian philanthropy and it is truly exciting to see the vision of our founders coming to fruition. Our early scholarship recipients are
now moving into positions of influence where they can make
significant contributions to the Foundation and continue the
cycle of giving and helping young lesbians achieve their goals. 11
Through the membership program the organization plans
to strengthen the links between recipients, volunteers and donors both in the past and present, as well as those in the future.
The membership program will also help the Foundation in its
efforts to raise more funds for distribution to the lesbian community and increase public awareness of the organization.
The Foundation will be working through cooperative relationships with other not-for-profit and for-profit LGBT organizations to build the membership base. "Corporations and sponsors will be surprised to see the volume of individuals who are
part of this movement, who have built and believe in Legacy
and the Lesbian Leadership Fund," said Bonsack. "Besides,
what self-respecting lesbian wouldn't want to have their own
membership card - it's fun with a purpose!"
More information on the membership program is available
online at the An Uncommon Legacy Foundation website
www.UncommonLegacy.org or by writing PO Box 33727,
Washington, DC 20033; phone 202-265-1926(fax 202-265-1927)
Today I think of ways in which my sexual orientation
has been a gi.ft- the wisdom I have gained, the special,people who might not othenvise be part of my life, the solidarity I
feel with the oppressed of the world.
The difficultparts are present as well, and sometimes I
feel resentful of the injustices. I keep wanting life to get easier. The imporlant lesson, though, is that as I move through
struggle after struggle, I am getting stronger and healthier.
While life doesn't get easier, it gets better. I can rope with the
problems and pain that I face, and I have the energy to actually enjoy life. I have the insight to appreciate its goodness
and sometimes even to be gratefulfor its challenges.
In my moments of clarity, I realize I have an
imporlant place in this world because of who I
am My destiny is to find a better lifefor myself
and others. I am gladfor my ever-improvinglife.
WiteckCommunications
4
- Eleanor Ruth Wagner
in Lavender Reflections
·····················~
••
Sometimes
the best thing to do
is give yourself
permission to
pull the covers
over your head and
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- just until you are
good and ready to stop!
(and you really will be
ready to stop sometime!)
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Celebrations
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Lifeline in.E-Major
I was one of those people who was pulled kicking and
screaming into the computer age. Some years ago I didn't want
to know about computers at all, but then I had to learn for
work, and I kinda liked it. Then I learned some more and I
loved it. And then I learned still more and I threw out my typewriter and declared I couldn't live without my computer.
I use computers all the time nowadays - all of my writing
gets done on computer, and all of my billing and contracts and
so on and so forth. I do a lot of crafts business on the computer
too. I have giant mailing lists on the computer, and I keep track
of everything from inventory to medical updates to shoppingfor-fun on my computer.
I also write letters on my computer, although until recently
I still used it to write letters that I would actually print out on
pretty paper, put in an envelope, stamp and mail. I was slow to
get into the Internet and e-mail.
But as with the computer in general, once I got into them, I
found them to be great tools to get information and to keep in
touch with people. These days especially, I love keeping in
touch with people via e-mail.
I am away from home a lot, but the wonder of the e-mail
system is that I can be in touch with anyone, anytime, anywhere I can plug in the computer. The e-mail system has become a major lifeline for me to be in touch with people even
when I'm far away from them.
I still would love to sit down and write a long letter to my
friends, but I find e-mail is easier to use to send little notes and
updates, and therefore I do it more often. It's easy since I'm
working at the computer anyway, to just jot off a line or two to
someone I want to know I'm thinking of them.
I still like to get letters in the mail too, but these days I find
I'm just as excited to open my e-mail and see if there is any personal correspondence. Usually there is, and I'm tickled to death
6
to get it, even if it's short and sweet, or short and to the point,
or short and non-sensical. What matters is that someone took
the time to post a little message, and I get it much faster than
snail mail (that's computer-ese for the regular overland postal
system ...see how I've adapted?).
I like that I can get e-mails any time of the day or night, too.
Once in awhile I'm up late and I check my e-mail to see if anything new has come in, and I'll find a personal note from
someone. The note could be from family in Iowa or a friend in
another state, or a friend in another part of town. It doesn't
matter who it's from - I'm just glad to hear from them.
I also hear from strangers, which is almost as much fun as
hearing from friends. Because I write regular newspaper columns and publish this and other newsletters, I get mail from
readers from time to time, and it is always nice to know when
someone I don't know takes time to comment on my work. Email makes that possible, and I greatly appreciate not only the
medium itself but also the effort other people put into using it.
Of course I get my share of junk-e-mail too, but I don't
seem to mind that as much as the junk mail that comes in my
mailbox. It's somehow easier and far more satisfying to just hit
the delete button than it is to throw papers away and have to
haul them out to the trash.
I still would prefer to sit down in person with someone
rather than use e-mail, but I've decided on-line mail has its
place and can come in rather handy - I guess you could say
that I've become an absolutely enthusiastic convert to the electronic age. It's fun, it's easy, it's helpful, and these days it has,
as I mentioned, become a lifeline for me as it is my main form
of communication with many far away friends and family.
But you know, the form or medium doesn't really matter.
Lifelines can really come in all shapes and sizes. The important
thing is to be in touch with people who mean something to you
- whether face to face or by e-mail, or phone, or snail mail letters in long-hand.
I'm constantly being reminded how important regular
communication is these days, and if you need a reminder too,
maybe you should take that first step and contact someone in
your life you haven't seen or talked to in awhile. No matter
what form you use, you - and they - will be glad you took
the time and made the effort ©
7
by Lee Lynch
Home Cooking
On weekends I cook. There's no time to cook during the
week - staying afloat in this rich man's economy takes all the
rest of my time. I'm not complaining, at least I have a job, at
least I can buy food to cook.
My job happens to keep me in touch with all sorts of employers. On any given day I may speak with dozens of people
in manufacturing, government, health care, tourism, education
and farming; with mechanics, web designers, security guards,
traffic engineers, EMf s or call center recruiters.
And these days they are all singing the same song: "We' re
on layoff;" "We have a hiring freeze;" "We don't have enough
work to keep our employees busy;" "We haven't hired in a
year;" "We're expecting a budget cutback."
The employees tell me: "This is my last day of work and I
don't know what I'm going to do;" "I'm trying to do the work
of five people now, and it's only going to get worse;" and,
somehow most heart-rending of all; "I'm still here, but all my
friends were laid off last week."
As much noise as the folks in the White House are making
over war and homeland security, they can't drown out the
sound of heartbroken Americans made •redundant much
longer. We're a proud people who feel hollow without a purpose and without the structure employment gives to our lives.
Our self-worth is bound up in accomplishments and pay
checks. We are accustomed to buying what we need, even if it
means that we have to save up for years for a first car, for the
big red tool chest of butch dreams or for· our sunset years in a
gay retirement village.
Being American means being privileged to one degree or
another. If we're spoiled and acquisitive, so be it, that's who we
are - from the immigrant expecting gold in the streets to the
children of self-made industrialists. And today, our dreams are
being taken away from us by the men on top of the heap who
so many Americans trusted enough to send to Washington.
I have a friend in Connecticut whose whole state agency
may be eliminated. She provides vocational services to the disabled who will in tum lose the assistance they need to get jobs.
My friend the Librarian doesn't know where she'll be in six
months if the budget crunch eliminates her job. She may need
to join the wandering tribes of highly educated Americans who
are the new migrant workers, following the job market away
from their established lives - or staying home and taking jobs
as pump jockeys.
A year ago, with so many new prisons being built, people
who could find nothing else went into the growth industry of
corrections. Today those new corrections officers are out on the
street alongside prisoners released for lack of money to keep
them inside. Large corporations once promised stability, but
bonus-fat CEOs find it more important to feed profits to inves- •
tors than to feed employees. They too are cutting back.
And we have to eat Personally, I think the discovery of the
crock pot is the greatest thing since the wheel. They're easy to
find at garage sales and they tum the most economical foods
into tasty nutrition, like stew, or rice and beans.
How big a hint does Washington need that its policies are
increasing hunger in American? The food banks here in the
northwest are emptying or, in rural areas, closing down altogether. Does this administration care? Do they think that all the
laid off workers can get jobs with Homeland Security? Not
likely - that agency will be the result of shuffling 170,000already employed workers from 22 existing federal agencies into
the Bureau of Big Brother.
Of course, now that 350,000putatively straight soldiers and
sailors have been shipped off to the Mideast, fortuitously making a positive dent in employment statistics, the young people
of America shouldn't have any problem getting work with the
military. Lucky kids, they can use food stamps to supplement
their meager incomes and come home - whole, I hope - unequipped for any job except the road crew, which is laying off
too.
It's bleak out there. But it's cozy in here with the crock pot
releasing mouth-watering smells. Five· or six centuries ago
Henry IV is said to have declared, "I want there to be no peasant in my realm so poor that he will not have a chicken in his
pot every Sunday." Another compassionate conservative. Get a
clue, George II. 6.
CLee Ly11ch
8
9
comprehensive introduction to her imaginative and sensual
vision. Her skill at the solarization technique curves and shapes
and sculpts the outline and by reversing selected areas of the
photo from positive to negative, the audience gets to "see" common forms in a totally new and unique way.
Important too, is her choice of subject: close ups of female
genitalia, physically challenged women, large women, common
everyday women. In short, all of us. Tee Corinne's work seeks
out the unconventionally beautiful and provides an unairbrushed continuum of female forms. It's breathtaking. And
perhaps even more valuable now, when even our own media
images seem to be sliding towards mainstream expectations of
beauty. Intimaciesshows too, the development and maturity of
Tee Corinne's technique and vision as an artist. It's a phenomenal collection and an inspiring reminder of what is beautiful
and majestic and worthy of wonder in us all. (Intimacies,by Tee
On ~llcrecl groun
A Visual Celebration of Lesbian Passion
For decades, the name Tee A. Corinne has been synonymous with a compelling style of erotic imagery. One of the first
artists to create feminist-informed works of erotic art, her vision of lesbian bodies and sexuality was for many lesbians, the
first authentic look at themselves through lesbian eyes.
In addition to her shows and exhibits, many of them in
women's spaces, and her well-known Yantras of Womanlove,
published in 1982, her photographs and art have graced the
covers of countless volumes of lesbian writing. Her way of seeing, her creative command of the solarized technique, her
richly textured play of light and dark that make our lesbian
bodies appear as the majestic works of art they truly are, is immediately recognizable to anyone with a passing knowledge of
lesbian culture.
In addition to her work as a photographer and visual artist,
Tee Corinne is also a pioneer in lesbian erotic writings. Long
before publishers were lining their pockets by lining bookstore
shelves with lesbian erotica in every possible flavor, she was
writing and anthologizing brave writings about the reality of
our sexuality, our bodies and our desires. From this work came
her Dreams of the Woman Who Loved Sex and anthologies
such as Riding Desire and Courting Pleasure. Perhaps her best
known work is the simple, but simply wonderful, Cunt Coloring Book, first self-published in 1975. This collection has been
stopped at Customs, labeled obscene and thankfully reprinted
many times much to the appreciation of women who "get it,"
those who understand its value as a visual celebration of that
which is often hidden and maligned, a loving look at the source
of our female sexual power.
With this in mind, the publication of her most recent work,
Intimacies is an event worth celebrating. Followers of her work
will find their favorite images within the pages; for others, it's a
10
A. Corinne, with essays by Jonathan Katz and Tamsin Wilton
Last Gasp of San Francisco, <www.lastgasp.com>, Hardcover $29.95)
l
Sacred Classic: The Price of Salt by Claire Morgan
Strange how one of the most poignant love stories in lesbian literature manages to avoid using the word lesbian.If you
haven't read The Price of Salt by Clare Morgan, then you' re
missing something wonderful. First published in 1952, the plot
unfolds a wonderfully intense and emotionally charged love
affair. Despite the year of publication and the fact that the characters are most certainly influenced by the prejudices and limits
imposed upon them, the book deals bravely with issues of leaving a marriage, child custody, age disparity between lovers and
why being openly lesbian in the 1950s was a difficult choice
that often required great sacrifice. Still readers who come to
know and love this book will never be able to read the line "It
would be Carol in a thousands cities" without believing, at least
briefly, that real love conquers all. (NOTE: ThePriceof Salt has
also been published under the alternate title Caroland under
the author names Clare Morgan and Patricia Highsmith. If that
name sounds familiar, it's because she's also the author of the
well-known Mr. Ripley mystery series.) ThePriceof Salt,by Oaire
Morgan, The Naiad Press Inc., Original price $7.95
Ask for these books at your local
feminist or alternative bookstore.
L
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SaPl>ho'sSolutions
uccessfuI L·1vmg
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GOU>ENTHREADS
is a worldwidenetworkdesignedroend lon.elin.eol
andilolatioo811lOllgmidlife
andolder Letbians.
GOU>ENTHREADS
by and © Stacy Chandler
is a diecreetcon;!
for Lesbilm
wom-
you~r friends.
because of her age.
Dear Savvy Sappho, I'm filled with joy and peace and love and
three mugs of leftover 90 proof eggnog. How can I keep feeling
this way all year long? - Twinkling
Dear Twinkling,Put a smile on yourface and in your heart
and soul,and don't count on the alcoholto do it for you. Just
don't sweatthe smallstuff...and rememberit's all smallstuff.
(You might want to cut out the eggnogtoo, becauseit's full
offat and calories.)- SS
*BE WARNED - THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ABOVE DO NOT
ECOSMOS!
12
Mel White,
PO Box 130,
Tehachapi, CA 93561
~·······························~
11GAYELLOW
~~stll.· 0 *~~
Insightfully delightful,
curiously inquisitive,
smartly intelligent,
anchored, not set in stone ...
A smattering of adjectives
that are yours alone!*
A 60-page booklet
chock full of good
thoughts, positive reminders and
OOOOOOOOOOOOOQQQQQQQ9QQQQ
inspirational
@
Messages;
only $5 postpaid,
sucha deal!
HAPPILYEVERAFTER
a book by Stacy Chandler
FREE to good lesbian homes!
$2 for postage to Speculators, Inc.
PO Box 99038, Troy, MI 48099
M' * •*
* •* .M *..•*~,;;lf.
M' * •
...;*..•*~,;;
.. ~ * •* * •* * •* ;lf.~,;;
Capxxxxn
January 20 - February 18
'Readu-
http://america.oet/-ridimlgoldenthrads.html
Samplecopyroailed~ $!i US and Clulada
ABother coum:riel$10 U S flmds or International
Money Order for mailing ouoide U S.
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
* ~]}
rhe,LW;le,
L~ri,de,
for in.formation
and application.
e-mail• wildiria®amcrica.net
@
by and © Stacy Chandler
No one is exduded
Send a SASEro:
GOLDEN
P.O. Box 1888
1>emore1t,GA 50555-1688
Dear Savvy Sappho, How can I tell if a relationship is dying?
- Resentful
DearResentful,When you no longercarefor the otherperson. Dangersigns include (but are not limited to) not putting theirconcerns,wants or needsbeforeyour own. - SS
.
tact publication
·: n over50, and their
PAGES informing the lesbian, gay, bisexual & trans-::
:: gender community since 1973, Includes Women~ Section and Eth- 11
11 nic/Multicultural section "You won't find a more complete guide cov- 11
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11ering literally all aspects of Gay and Lesbian life" Our World
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RenaissanceHouse, PO Box 533 Village Station, New York, NY
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10014 (or ask at your local feminist bookstore)
11
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13
I
Jaguar Targeting Gay Consumers
Jaguar North America recently announced that it is launching an integrated marketing and advertising campaign to specifically reach gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT)
consumers. The Jaguar campaign is part of a comprehensive
strategy developed by Ford Motor Company Global Marketing.
The campaign will specifically target GLBT consumers in the
New York and Los Angeles metropolitan areas.
This campaign builds upon previous Jaguar marketing initiatives towards the GLBT community, which include past
sponsorship of the Gay and Lesbian Against Defamation
League. "Ford Motor Company is proud of its commitment to
its diverse customer base, which includes gay, lesbian, and bisexual consumers," said Jan Valentic, Vice President of Global
Marketing at Ford Motor Company."
- US Newswire
Partin~
.shQt .. ·-
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• •••••••••••
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(formerly LesbianPride Newsletter,
but only the name has changed)
Mel White/MAK.AW Press, owner/publisher
Subscriptions: $12 a year (12 issues)
Contributors receive free subscriptions.
Unsolicited contributions are welcome but be sure to include
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© 2003 All Rights Reserved
For permission to reprint or use any of the content, contact:
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PO '801(; 130
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Address correction requested
,
HERLAND (PE02-12)
HERLAND
2312 NW 39TH
OKLAHOMA CITY OK 73112
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