HerlandVoice-1990-08-v7-no08_ocr.pdf
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- HerlandVoice-1990-08-v7-no08_ocr.pdf
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cto~HERLAND ~
AUGUST, 1990
ICE
A LEGACY OF CHANGE
lry Pat Reaves
In the Fall of 1977, Laura Choate, then
incarcerated in a state-operated juvenile institution, asked her parole officer how she
could contact an attorney. That simple event
led to a landmark case which drew national
attention to the juvenile justice system in
Oklahoma. The lawsuit, known as the "Terry
D. case" was filed in Federal Court by Legal
Aid of Western Oklahoma on behalf of
Laura, 7 other named juveniles, and the
entire class of children in custody of the
Department of Institutions, Social, and
Rehabilitative Services (now Department of
Human Services). The National Center for
Youth Law, National Prison Project of the
ACLU, and the National Juvenile Law Center
also joined in the suit.
The Terry D. case challenged the practices
in the juvenile justice institutions. The suit
charged that children's rights were routinely
violated. Children were subject to long
periods of solitary confinement in inhumane
conditions without due process, and physical, sexual and psychological abuse by institutional staff. Children were discouraged and
prevented from contacting attorneys. Addi-
tionally, the suit charged that the Department
of Institutions, Social, and Rehabilitative
Services (DISRS) violated children's rights
· to due process of law and to rehabilitative
treatment by failing to provide effective
educational, vocational and therapeutic
programs.
Laura Choate recalls the conditions which
led to the lawsuit:
''There was no fear of retribution for what they
did so they would do anything. It was general
practice forever in Oklahoma that children did
not have constitutional rights. When a person
doesn't have constitutional rights you have
nothing and no one cares. It was slavery. It was
abuse. It was prostitution. It was sexual abuse. It
was anything you can ever name. Animals had
more rights in this state than children.
"A group of judges would come once a year
and tour the instititution. They would make a
physical check and leave .. . There was no
documentation of anything that occurred there.
You went to cells, the solitary confinement, you
could stay as long as they wanted you to. I stayed
up to 2Y2 weeks one time in solitary. Girls were
raped down there. That was common practice as
part of the punishment-to be raped. But it wasn't
understood as rape. That word wasn't even used.
I wasn't familiar with that term for years. It was
just what happened.
''The conditions in the cells . . . they were critter
infested. You'd be stripped naked. If you went
into the padded cells, the men would send the
female houseparent away and the men would
strip the girls and hogtie and rape them. That
was part of the whole routine - you knew if you
went in the padded cell that was what was going
to happen. I only know of three girls that went in
there. That was something - the last thing you
wanted to do because of their form of control.
... There was one girl who was a deaf-mute . ..
She was one of the people who got sent to the
padded cell. Her biggest problem was she couldn't
communicate . .. None of the staff knew sign
language. She would get real frustrated and have
temper tantrums and kick people. They took her
to the padded cell - we always knew what
happened.
Part of your punishment for going AWOL
was an immediate pap smear - a pelvic exam
(continued on page 2)
RETREAT!
RETREAT!
YES!
RETREAT! YES!
RETREAT!
RETREAT!
YES!
Join Cniz Devon (left) and the rest of us for the
famous annual Herland Fall Retreat, being held at
Arrowhead State Park on Lake Eufala, August 31
thru September 3. We'll feature our usual Open
Mike, along with a Sunday night dance with a live
band. See back page for your registration form.
SEE YOU THERE!
VOLUME 7 NUMBER 8
•
HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES
•
2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112
•
(405) 521 -9696
'·
LEGACY OF CHANGE
(continued from page l)
because they just assumed you had been screwing
and they didn't want you to bring any disease
back. It was just a way of dehumanizing and it
was all controlled and male dominated.
"At Taft the girls were used as prostitutes in
the town. They would be drugged or offered drugs
and prostituted. They were taken into town off
campus off the grounds by the men and put in a
motel. The townsmen were brought in and they
paid to have sex with children within the state's
custody.
"We were completely cut off. We didn't have
the right to newspapers. We didn't have the right
to watch the news. We didn't have the right to an
education. While you were in cells you had no
rights whatsoever.
"The people that worked there had no
training - there was no required forrnal training.
If your uncle knew Rader or Rader owed somebody, you had a job. When Gannett went in there,
they found 9 cunvicted felans, some of which were
on parole, working as child care workers in
institutions. Two were convicted rapists on
parole, a couple for murder and a lot of drug
dealers. That was really common. If someone had
a record and had been in prison it didn't matter.
"We had one psychologist for the whole
campus and would sometimes see him once a year
at the most. There was one medical doctor who
came twice a week to campus and saw the most
immediate cases. You could see him once every six
months if you needed to - if you absolutely
needed to.
"They used drugs a lot. The doctor would
prescribe medications on the advice of a houseparent. Just anybody could say, 'This person is
acting out' and they would drug people to the
point of completely out cold. That was a way of
punishing people, to be drugged. 'Well, you hit a
staff two weeks ago, this is what we're going to
do' and then thorazine people unconscious and
keep them out for a while. Then they put them in
the cells and they were down there unconscious.
''They used choke holds on kids . They killed a
lot of kids that way. Things that in the adult
system were absolutely illegal.
''We were treated like criminals but according
to the Gannett articles only 70% were actually
delinquent. The rest were there for in need of
supervision - psychiatric reasons . . . There was
one violent offender when I was there - she was
a murderer. The rest were therefor running away
from home. A lot of them were there because they
were taken away from violent homes but that was
no place to put them. You take them away from a
sexually abusive father and place them in an
institution where most of the males there would
have their tum at you.
"Nobody cared about kids and children had
no right to be cared for."
The Terry D. suit focused national attention on the child abuse in the Oklahoma
2
HSR, AUGUST, 1990
Department of Human Services. The Gannett
News Service published nationally articles
documenting case after case of child abuse by
institutional staff, mismanagement of the
institutions, graft and dictatorial management of the Department of Human Services
by Human Services Director, Lloyd Rader.
The U .S. Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile
Justice conducted an investigation and public
hearings on the conditions in Oklahoma
juvenile institutions.
"What was amazing is that there were no
indictments because it was so widespread.
.. . . Rader should have been indicted. All the
directors of the institutions should have been
indicted. Individually, the men that worked in
these facilities should have been indicted for
rape, sodomy, child pornography, white slavery.
All these things but they weren't. It was covered
up. Still, even with all the attention it received,
people were asked to resign from the state
department and the merit system and that was the
end of it. . .. Rader was retired on pension with a
nurse-a private caretaker.''
For Laura the personal consequences of
participating in the lawsuit were severe.
"They emancipated me when I was 16 and
said I should go to the adult system [prison].
I was put out on the street with $100 and
was taken to my father's house who didn't
have custody. Because I was emancipated, I
lived on the streets."
The Terry D. suit was settled in 1984. The
suit and the surrounding publicity brought
major changes to the Oklahoma juvenile
justice system. The settlement acknowledged
the right of children to receive care and
treatment in the least restrictive setting and
established a preference for communitybased programs. The use of confinement and
mechanical restraints as punishment was
forbidden. D.H.S. juvenile institutions were
required to comply with standards of national accreditation for corrections and psychiatric treatment facilities.
"I [the settlement] states the fact and Oklahoma had to acknowledge the fact that children
in Oklahoma have constitutional rights and that
children have the right to treatment instead of
incarceration. Children have the right to treatment without the use of cruel and unusual
punishment. Part of the bill of rights was that
food cannot be used as punishment, medical
treatment cannot be used as punishment, physical
punishment can not be used. The basic human
needs cannot be withheld as a form of punishment. It basically stated what the Constitution
had to say but it had to be restated for children in
this state because of Rader's hold for over 30
years. It recognized the fact that kids need
psychiatric help and created the 'in need of
treatment' adjudication category which a lot of
kids fall under and have always fall en under.
. . . Most of them were abused kids."
According· to Laura, the Terry D. suit has
had significant long-term impact. "Child
abuse at this time came up in everybody's
awareness all of a sudden . As a result
nationally there have been several class
actions of this sort . .. this was the first, and
kind of opened the door for other people to
take a look in their systems. It brought the
words 'child abuse' into the forefront. And
who could be a child abuser-certainly not
the people who cared for them. Well, yeah,
especially the people who cared for them.
That's who you need to be watching the most
closely. And now if something happens
within the system-within any facilitythat person is going to be fired."
Laura has continued her struggle for
children's rights. She currently works with a
treatment program for children. She has
served on the Board of Directors of the
Oklahoma Institute for Child Advocacy, as
well as having been a past member of the
Herland board.
•
One Day in the
Lives of American
Children
17 ,051
2,795
1,106
372
1,295
689
719
129
67
105
27
10
30
6
135,000
7 ,742
623
211
437
1,512
1,849
3,288
1,629
women get pregnant
of them are teenagers.
teenagers have abortions.
teenagers miscarry.
teenagers give birth.
babies are born to women who
have had inadequate prenatal
care.
babies are born at low birthweight (less than 5 pounds, 8
ounces).
babies are born at very low
birthweight (less than 3
pounds, 5 ounces).
babies die before one month of
life.
babies die before their first
birthday.
children die from poverty.
children die from guns.
children are wounded by guns.
teenagers commit suicide.
children bring a gun to school.
teens become sexually active.
teenagers get syphilis or
gonorrhea.
children are arrested for drug
abuse.
children are arrested for
drinking or drunken driving.
teenagers drop out of school.
children are abused or
neglected.
children run away from home.
children are in adult jails.
CHILDREN'S RIGHTS IN THE LEGAL SYSTEM
THE LETTER VS. THE SPIRIT OF THE LAW
In Oklahoma, a "child" is defined in the
state statutes as "any person under 18 years
of age." Children receive special treatment
under the law, at least according to the law
books. Although, depending on the circumstances, how the law treats that child varies
greatly. Usually, the intent of the law and
the practice of the law are miles apart.
Children generally become entangled in our
legal system in one of two ways, either 1)
through no fault of their own, but through
the actions of those responsible for their
care and welfare or 2) through some action
they have taken themselves. In the first case,
these children have either been abused or
neglected by their parents or primary caretakers or their parents have decided to get a
divorce. In the second case, the child may
have done anything from stealing food from
the corner 7-11 to murdering someone.
Children who have been abused or
neglected are defined in the statutes as
"deprived." Last year in Oklahoma County,
there were just over 2000 referrals (each
referral is on a family; the actual number of
children involved varies) to the Child Abuse
Hotline with about 700 of these allegations
confirmed. About half of the cases concerning these children become court-involved
while the rest are handled in a "preventive"
manner. At any given time, about half of
Oklahoma County's deprived children are
at home or with relatives and the other half
are in a foster home. The average length of
stay in foster care is 22 months. Deprived
children are represented in court by an
attorney. Federal mandates require that all
attempts be made to reunite the family, if at
all possible, and the legal process focuses on
reunification. As a result of this mandate,
court hearings focus on the parent(s)
because the parent is the one who is required
to correct the conditions that brought the
case to court.
During many court hearings, the children's
needs and interests are not fully addressed
because of this focus on the parents. One
group that tries to focus the court process on
the needs of the child is Court Appointed
Special Advocates (CASA) Volunteers. The
CASA researches the case to which they are
assigned, monitors each individual's progress
and reports to the court making their own
recommendations. The lack of social workers
in the Child Welfare Division of the Department of Human Services results in many
referrals not being investigated, contact with
the family and children being at a minimum
and sometimes court delays. DHS is trying to
serve these children properly, but they simply
cannot do it with the current level of
resources. In addition, the children are repre-
sented either by a Public Defender or a courtappointed attorney. In either case, the child is
just one of many clients who receives legal
counsel, but it is not the role of the attorney
to ensure that other needs are met.
Children whose parents are involved in a
divorce have limited protection under the
law. Although the state law mandates that
support and visitation be addressed in the
court decree, the child's needs are minimally
considered during these deliberations. These
children are not represented in court by an
attorney and there are few if any resources
available to help assist children deal with
their emotional reaction to a divorce. In
Oklahoma County, there are 3000 disputed
cases each year. Again, that is the number of
families and not the number of children
involved. These children receive little to no
direct services. The state law has a child
support formula and support is included in
each divorce decree, but only between 5 and
10% of non-custodial parents pay their children support in full, if at all.
The last group of children involved in the
court are the so-called "delinquents." State
law focuses on rehabilitation of juveniles
over punishment. Therefore, most delinquents are required to make restitution or do
community service work plus attend school,
special training, counseling, drug rehabilitation, etc. As a result of the Terry D. case and
Federal mandates, juveniles cannot be placed
in jail with adults or detained without a
hearing or as punishment. You simply cannot
lock kids up for any length of time. These
young people are represented by an attorney
in court. Again, usually a Public Defender or
other court-appointed attorney represents
the child. The law makes exception for
anyone 16 or 17 years of age who has
committed a Class I Felony (e.g. murder,
rape, distribution of a Controlled Dangerous
Substance). These young people are automatically charged as an adult, but there is a
hearing held to determine if that individual
would be better served by being returned to
the juvenile system. This is the process
known as reverse certification. A younger
child may be certified as an adult if they have
committed a Class I Felony and sufficient
evidence is provided to the court that the
juvenile system cannot work effectively for
this individual. Because of the number of
offenses committed by juveniles in Oklahoma County, only the felonies go to court.
Lesser charges are dealt with through the
three Youth Service Agencies in the county.
Last year in Oklahoma County, just over
3000 juveniles were charged with about
4500 felonies.
The state law does try to protect children;
however, the system is so overloaded and
prevention efforts are so poorly funded that
children do not receive the kind of care and
attention that they deserve. One of the things
I hate most about stories about kids, is that
you are told about all the problems, but
rarely given any ways to constructively vent
your rage. Therefore, I am going to make lots
of suggestions about what you can do to
improve the lot of children in Oklahoma.
First, you can educate yourself about the
signs of child abuse and neglect and be willing
to report any suspected cases to the Child
Abuse Hotline (1-800-522-3511). You can
also learn about the dynamics that put children at risk for teen pregnancy and suicide,
drug abuse, school drop-out, etc. Then you
have to be willing to get involved. These
problems do not belong to someone else in
another neighborhood or town or state.
These children live next door to you, you
work with their parents, they may even be
children in your family.
Children, need, first and foremost, positive and consistent attention. Volunteer to
work a hot-line, be a mentor for teen parents
at Emerson School, work with Planned
Parenthood, help the Literacy Council with
tutoring, help abusive parents learn new
parenting skills at Parents Assistance Center,
get involved with your church's activities for
children, watch out for the latch-key kids
that live next door, smile at a child, give
positive strokes. The list is almost endless
and there is a niche out there that is just
perfect for you.
For the politically active who would like to
see things change on a grander scale, you can
ask candidates in the upcoming elections if
children are a priority to them and how they
will help to improve services to children (e.g.
would they increase funding for preventative
programs such as WIC, how will they help
ensure families have access to safe and affordable day care), encourage the schools to teach
life skills including sex and drug education
and positive decision making, encourage the
City Council to increase funds to the Parks
and Recreation Department so that programs can be offered which not only keep
kids off the streets, but help them to build
stong self-esteem.
You can make a difference in the life of a
child. If you want to get involved in some
organized way, please give me a call at 8410456. I will gladly discuess any of these
issues with you and help you to decide which
program would be best for you.
•
-submitted by Loretta L. Pecchioni
Volunteer Services Coordinator
Oklahoma County Juvenile Bureau
HSR, AUGUST 1990
3
THE DEVALUATION OF CHILDREN'S RIGHTS
by Deborah Fox
What do children have a right to? They
have a right to exist, to have a childhood and
a future, food, shelter, clothing, protection,
nurture, love, play, to loving, intelligent
guidance, to an education, they have a right
to their bodies, their own individuality, to all
their feelings and their expressions, they have
a right to say no, yes, I don't know, they have
a right to the truth, honesty, to be told
"why," to receive validation, approval,
praise, acceptance, and children have the
right to inherit a planet that has not been
ruined and discarded to them. Unfortunately,
compared with what most children actually
have, what I've just listed sounds utopic.
The general premise is that children are
property, someone to carry on the family
(father's) name - to gain eternallife, decorations for one's life, glue to hold a marriage
together, someone to make in one's own
image and fulfill one's own thwarted ambitions, future christians, someone to dominate
and control, slave labor, war booty, playthings, trophies/rewards, and then, too;
children are to be seen and not heard, and to
"spare the rod is to spoil the child." The
bible (that not-so-good book) even sanctions
the brutal murder, beating, and rape of
children (see: Psalms 137:9, Deut. 3:6,
Ezekiel 9:6, Gen. 19:8, Judges 19:24, and
Exodus 21:7).
Even today children are bought and sold
like a common commodity, not only via
surrogate mothers, expensive adoption agencies, and lawyers, but as child prostitutes.
Take for example Northern Thialand where
children are sold for psostitution, sometime
before they are even born! (And note: it is the
Western tourist's demand that perpetuates
Thailand's exploitation of the poor and their
children. South of Bankok the Navy docks
for "the sex capital of the world," and mind
you, these are mostly child prostitutes. In
fact, sex with a child is Thailand's highlight
tourist attraction). At the root is poverty.
Poverty, crime and the degradation of the
body go hand in hand. Dig deeper and you
find Patriarchy. Many children's issues are
the same as women's issues, Native American
issues, black issues, etc. because all issues
stem from the same source: white, male
domination hierarchies and the ensuing
oppressfon of the rest of the people.
There are laws in America to protect
children from physical and sexual abuse,
child labor and exploitation, prostitution,
pornography, murder, etc. Each state has its
own laws (see Oklahoma's Criminal Statutes
under Title 21 ). But we have only to watch
the news or look at the statistics of incest,
murder, etc. to see that these laws are only
minimally effective and offer little protection. Why would men actualize laws they
4
HSR, AUGUST 1990
themselves fall prey to? This reality drives
home the point that you can't fight the
system using the system's tools.
Children everywhere are given the message
that being a child is inferior to being an adult,
and they are subjugated by the etiquette that
instructs them to address adults as Mr., Sir,
Miss, Mrs., etc. (I would like to remind here
that respect cannot be forced, it must be
earned). Consequently, children are overeager to be adults and do adult things like
smoke cigraettes (to look older), drink alcohol, take drugs, have sex, swear, etc. Society
teaches them these things. It is the modern
"initiation into adulthood."
In general, children are not shown that to
be a child is special, and that they have special
abilities, talents and wisdom of their own
that adults need and value.
"A dominator-dominated way of relating
to other human beings is internalized from
birth by every child brought up in a traditional, male dominated family (system)."
(Riane Eisler) For example, look at the main
staples of the toy industries: babydolls, homemaker sets, "wet and wild" Barbie dolls, the
new "Real Model Collectionr"" of Beverly,
Christie, and Cheryl, for girls; G.l. Joes,
Rambos, and various other war toys and
weapons for boys. Our children are being
programmed! Our daughters are being taught
that the alpha and omega of being female is to
be quiet, sexy, decorative, subservient, to live
for men, to "win" a husband. Our sons are
being taught that war, "might," destroying
and conquering/dominating are the epitome
of manhood. If they show interest in "girls'
toys," they are humiliated for it. Yet, boys
will one day live on their own and need
homemaker skills, girls will need careers.
Why not weighty female executive dolls? If
children's rights were honored they would
not be pressured to mimic the status quo, but
encouraged to be true to themselves and be
their own unique individuals.
"When childbearing is not a punishment,
but self-chosen, and when raising children is
not an economic-survival disaster, most of us
enjoy being around children. Most men do
too. In prepatriarchal cultures, children were
raised comunally-not closed up within
four nuclear walls, not as property-but as
the fruit of all. Most of all, childbearing and
childraising were a part of each woman's life,
a nourishing as well as nurturing part- but
not her whole life." (The Great Cosmic Mother ,
Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor.) The split
between motherhood and self-realization
inflicted by Patriarchy has caused a terrible
stress upon women, the "right" to dominate
(and abuse) women and children given to
men by the patriarchal system, and the high
tension, financial struggles resultant of hier-
archy, are the main contributing factors of
child abuse. What was once the joy of the
community and the fruit of all has become a
personal struggle and a debilitating burden
for our children to bear. Children's rights are
pulverized by Patriarchy, much as the rights
of all minorities.
Children are the hope of the future. They
are the generations to come, and their value is
inestimable. What they learn now will determine whether human evolution continues to
be diverted/stunted or takes a quantum leap
to catch up to where it could be. They have a
right to know the truth. They have a right to
the wisdom of all of the ages. I trust that our
children would opt to restore and preserve
the planet, and advance human evolution.
Blessed Be.
In the eyes of the Great Goddess, all life is
equal.
•
CHILDREN
DESERVE TO
BE TREATED
WITH DIGNITY
~"o
WRITER'S WORKSHOP
with
~
JUDITH McDANIEL
author of:
Metamorphosis
Sanctuary
FRIDAY & SATURDAY
AUGUST 10 & 11
Judith will share about TAKING
RISKS personally and professionally
and spend the afternoon with you
discussing your poetry/writing.
Workshop cost: $15.00
CALL 794 -0081 or 366-0923
LAST CHANCE!!
JOIN US FOR THE
MICHIGAN WOMYN'S
MUSIC FESTIVAL TRIP
CALL 366- 0923
Space for this event is being generously donated by Christ the King Metropolitan Community Church.
Enjo:y a primo! spaeheU.i dinner
co11plet.e 11it.h dessert.. while
Peee:Y ..Johnson and Donna D.
t.ake :you awa:y on a fun-filled
evenine of' ent.ert.ainment..
"d
"ee~
Who:
Peee:y..Johnson & Donna D.
What.: Dinner and a Show
Where: HCC Church at. 1900 NW 12t.h. OKC
When: Sat.urda:y. Aueust. 18. 1990, 7 p11
How Much? $8.00 t.icket. includes dinner
a. perfor11ance: Hurr:y! Space is li11it.edeet. :your t.icket.s early at. Herland or
call 528-3151.
""-
..}()
,.
~
\II>(\....
()
(\
...............
.
............. .
111111111111111
...........
......... ...
:::::::::::::
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1111111111
lBIE@UtmlMllL
lLIE(lllUAIM
CtmlMIFIElBIEIMCIE
COkla., Ark., Louisiana & Texas)
hosted by
HERLANO SISTER RESOURCES
LABOR DAY WEEKEND
at..
ARROWHEAD STATE PARK
in Eastern OKLAHOMA
For: Getting Acquainted
Identifying Common Issues
Workshops
Election of four delegates to
t..he NLC steering cornrnit..t..ee
Fun.
·::::::. This Conference and the National Lesbian Conference are coomitted to fighting racism and all
forms of oppression, and to accessibility for all lesbians with and without disabilities.
Scented products make sane lesbians ill. Please refrain fr001 wearing them at all NLC gatherings.
CALLING ALL LESBIANS
IN ARKANSAS, LOUISIANA, OKLAHOMA AND TEXAS
FOUR-STATE REGIONAL LESBIAN CONFERENCE PLANNED
A Regional Lesbian Conference will be hosted by Berland Sister Resources, an Oklahoma
City-based women's resource center, at their Fall retreat at Arrowhead State Park in east
central Oklahoma on August 31 - September 3, 1990 . This conference is in preparation for
the National Lesbian Conference which is to be held in Atlanta, Georgia on April 24 - 28,
1991.
The regional meeting will bring together lesbians from Arkansas, Louisiana, Oklahoma,
and Texas to get acquainted, identify common issues, learn from each other, and identify
resources within the four-state lesbian community. There will be workshops on oppression,
co-dependency/addictions, and other issues of importance to the lesbian community.
A primary objective of the meeting is to elect four regional delegates to the National Lesbian Conference steering committee, the decision-making body for the national conference, so that this region's issues may be brought to the national agenda. As the
National Lesbian Conference endeavors to have all of our community's diversities represented on the steering committee, women of color and lesbians with disabilities are
encouraged to attend this regional conference.
With the conference being held in conjunction with Berland's retreat, a popular semiannual event, participants in the conference will be treated to a week-end of fun and
entertainment as well as meetings of dynamic import to regional lesbians who are interested in the future of the lesbian community as a whole. Saturday night highlights include a performance by Missouri singer-songwriter Cruz Devon. Sunday night events include a traditional pot luck dinner (so remember to bring your favorite dish to share)
and a dance with a live band.
Registration fees for the combined conference and retreat are on a sliding scale from
$30 - $40 with on-site registration $45. This price includes accommodations and morning
and evening meals (5 meals). Some scholarships are available. Contact Berland at
405-521-9696 or 405-528-3151 for more information.
This event is being held at a state park group camp with kitchen facilities and
cabins. Participants will need to bring their own sleeping bags or other bedding to use
on the bunks provided by the camp, a pillow, toiletries, a flashlight, beverages of choice,
snacks for in-between meals and a dish for the Sunday night pot luck.
This conference and the National Lesbian Conference are committed to fighting racism
and all forms of oppression, and to accessability for all lesbians with and without disabilities. Scented products make some lesbians ill . Please refrain from wearing them at
all NLC gatherings. All donations are tax deductible.
CONFERENCE REGISTRATION FORM IS THE SAME AS RETREAT REGISTRATION FORM
SEE YOU THERE
STEP FAMILIES: PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS
by Nancy D.
When the opportunity came up to write an
article on children, I jumped at the chance to
compose one about my own experiences
with step-families. My lover and I share the
"joys" of having 4 children, so I felt very
qualified to address the problems, but I
could not think of any legal solutions to these
problems. This article became a form of selfhelp for me. It pushed me to find solutions
through professionals, books, and interviews
of other women. I'd like to share my findings.
We are currently raising 2 daughters, ages
8 and 13, and 2 sons, ages 12 and 19. The fun
starts where they are all in various stages of
growth and maturity and, as I am repeatedly
told, they are normal. I hate the word
"normal."
The 8-year-old feels that she is the "town
cryer." She tells everybody everything about
us. The 13-year-old has a telephone receiver
permanently attached to her ear. The 12year-old is starting to get interested in the
13-year-old's girlfriends and the 19-year-old
knows everything.
When we decided to combine our families
we had to make certain decisions: what
rooms do the girls get, which room do the
boys get? What about an extra room, so it
doesn't look as if 2 women share the same
bed?
A major issue was discipline. "Do I correct
only my kids and you yours?" What about
differences in discipline style? A more lax
style may not be compatible with a stricter
style. Talking out problems may not work
with all children.
From interviews with other couples, I have
learned that communication with your partner is one key to a successful step-family. Not
all situations can be thought out ahead of
time, but through the continual sharing of
ideas and feelings, your position as parents is
IN MEMORIAM
Dr. Ann Carlton was born in Tennessee in
1921; received her bachelor's and master's
degrees from Middle Tennessee State University, and her doctorate in American Literature from Ball State University in Indiana.
She taught in the OCU English department
form 1959 until her retirement last year.
Her life's work also included associate
editing of the Tennessee Folklore Journal and
coediting Piecework, a local Magazine of
Poetry by Women. Dr. Carlton co-owned an
adult education program, The Learning Connection, and was a collective owner of Red
Dirt Press. She published articles on literature, in addition to teaching literature, linguistics, the arts, social justice and creativity to
strengthened.
Many issues women with children and
step-families face are similar to those of
heterosexuals, but there are additional pressures when you are a lesbian. Listed below
are some of those concerns:
• How to talk to the children about your
sexuality. If a child is younger, there is
more acceptance than with an older child
who is faced with peer pressure and concerned with his/her own emerging sexuality. Children with gay parents tend to pick
friends who are liberal-minded and tend to
be more liberal themselves.
• Fathers who threaten legal action against
the mother in order to get custody of the
child, strictly because of the mother's
sexual preference.
• Sending the children to public schools and
daycares. How do you introduce your
lover? As a "friend" of the family or the
child's "aunt?" The schools often want a
next of kin to call in cases of emergency, so
this is important.
I am not attempting to be a legal advisor or
a counselor, but I do recommend as solutions: communication between you and your
lover, respect for family members, joining a
support group and counseling.
In the Oklahoma City area a support
group titled "Women with Women with
Children (WWWWC) has been formed to
provide a climate where women can gather to
discuss children, various ways of dealing
with legal problems, stories of pain and
humor. They are also trying to schedule
social events, so the children won't feel that
their families are too different and that they
are alone in dealing with gay issues. For more
information, call (405) 942-4331.
•
civic groups here and in Asia.
She also gave generously of herself to her
many communities, serving as vice president
of Delta Kappa Gamma, and president of the
Oklahoma City Women's Political Caucus,
which twice gave her their meritorious service
award. She was an executive member of the
Friends of the Library, a consulting member
of the Oklahoma Foundation of the Humanities, was a member of Amnesty International,
National Women's Studies Association, and
the American Association of University
Professors.
The Oklahoma women's community joins
Abigail Keegan and all the friends and family
of Ann Carlton in mourning Ann's death on
July 4. We are poorer for her parting, and we
will miss her.
•
SOUTHWEST GAY AND
LESBIAN PAGAN
COALITION FORMED
On Sunday, June 17, 1990, history was
made in Oklahoma as the newly formed
Southwest Gay and Lesbian Pagan Coalition marched openly down the scorching
streets of Oklahoma City in the Third
Annual Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade. It was
the first step taken to organize a coalition of
gay Pagan voices and spirits to say, "We Are
Here And We Are Reclaiming Our Ancestral
Birthrights As Gay Pagans."
Paganism can briefly be described as a
polytheistic system of beliefs that date back to
the early Greek, Roman and Egyptian
periods. Many Pagans view deity as manifest
in all life forms, therefore Paganism can be
considered a pantheistic system of beliefs as
well. Paganism, as a general rule, has no set
doctrine, however Pagans do revere that
which is considered to be our home, the
Mother Earth. We consider environmentalism a top priority in daily living.
The Southwest Gay and Lesbian Pagan
Coalition is forming a mailing list and will
soon send out a newsletter in order to
network with other gay Pagans located in the
southwest region of the U.S. The Coalition
will be an information gathering and dissemination organization as well as providing
needed services to the gay Pagan community
in the form of spiritual support, discussing
and taking an active role on environmental
issues, and coordinating social services as the
needs become apparent.
Many gay people feel alienated from traditional Judeo-Christian religions and have
turned to our ancestral roots of Earthcentered spirituality. Here, in myriad forms,
we can find both our sexuality and our love
and concern for our Mother Earth and each
other affirmed.
If you are interested in the concerns of
this organization, contact Desmond Stone
through S.W .G.L.P.C., P.O. Box 26442,
Oklahoma City, OK 73126.
•
PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister
Resources, Inc. 2312 NW 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
NEWSLETIER COMMITIEE:
Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox, Pat
Reaves
CIRCULATION: 750
GENERAL INFO: (405) 521-9696 (leave
message)
SUBSCRIPTIONS to the Her/and Voice
are free upon request.
HSR, AUGUST, 1990
5
The Oklahoma Coalition Against Abortion has filed an initiative petition to ban
abortions in Oklahoma. They are seeking
to place a measure on the ballot for the
November general election which would
prohibit abortion except in the case of rape,
incest, or severe fetal deformity. Now is the
time to enlist in the war for women's right
to control their own bodies. Organizations
working to ensure that Oklahoma women
continue to be able to exercise the right to
choose include NOW (918)-687-7006),
Planned Parenthood ( 528-0221 ), the Campaign for Choice (842-3791), Oklahoma
Religious Coalition for Abortion Rights
(946-6523), Oklahoma Women's Coalition for Abortion Rights (946-6523)
Oklahoma Women's Network, (918) 7440303) and the Oklahoma Women's Political Caucus. Call one of these organizations
today and invest your time, energy and
money for choice ..... .
COPYRIGHTS-Basically, a copyright
is created at the time a work is created, and
is owned by the creator of that work. To
fully protect that copyright, however, you
may wish to register it. Registering a copyright requires filling out certain forms, and
filing them with a $10.00 fee at the Copyright Office. The Register of Copyrights,
Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.,
20559 will send the forms and instructions
for completing them at no charge.
If you submit an original literary or
pictorial work (e.g., a poem or cartoon) to
the Herland Voice or any other publication
and wish notice of copyright published with
the work, you should include a notice of
copyright with the material (e.g. © 1990
Your Name) . . ... .
Senator Joseph Biden (D-Delaware) has
introduced a package of federal legislation
addressing violence against women. The
legislation would designate gender-based
violence as a violation of civil rights laws to
seek compensatory and punitive damages
from her assailant. The legislation would
also increase minimum penalties for sexual
assault committed on federal property and
authorizes federal funding for law enforcement and advocacy programs ..... .
Lesbian veterans or active duty military
are being sought for interviews for a forthcoming book, Lesbians in the Military, Past,
Present and Future. For more information
reply to: LITM, P.O. Box 680701, San
Antonio, TX 78268-0701. No name is
required ..... .
6
HSR, AUGUST 1990
The Gay and Lesbian Helpline of
Central Oklahoma has announced its
incorporation as a non-profit organization.
Donations toward operation of the hotline
are now tax-deductible contributions. Helpline offers telephone crisis intervention and
information about community resources
for lesbians and gays. The Helpline number
is 842-4297 (842-GAYS) . .... .
The National Women's Political Caucus
is looking for its founders. They would like
to identify the 300 women who gathered in
Washington, D.C. on July 11, 1971 in
order to honor them at the 20th anniversary
convention in 1991. If you are one of the
NWPC's founding mothers or know someone who was, contact the NWPC, 1274
K. Street, Suite 750, Washington, D.C.
20005 ......
The Mississippi Womyn's Educational
and Cultural Retreat Center is wanting
to purchase 160 acres ofland to become the
home of the Annual Gulf Coast
Womyn's Festival. Also, home to womyn's
retreats, a retirement community, and/or
whatever anyone can envision that is a
safespace and empowering educational
experience for womyn. For more information contact Terry at 681-3469 . . .. . .
The contribution deadline for the
anthology Cats and Their Dykes has been
extended to October 1, 1990. Essays,
poems, stories and narratives can be sent to
HerBooks, P.O. Box 7467, Santa Cruz, CA
96061. .. .. .
Contributions are being sought for an
international collection of writings by
Battered Women and Survivors of Domestic
Violence. Joumals/diaries, autobiographies,
letters, essays, and even fragmentary accounts can be sent to Miriam Harris, P.O.
Box 670-655, Dallas, TX 75367-0655 by
September 1, 1990......
DENTISTRY PRACTICE OPENSDebra K. Browning, R.Ph.,D.D.S. has
announced the opening of her practice of
dentistry at 1501 N. Rockwell. She will
serve the public with a wide variety of
dental care.
Dr. Browning is a recent graduate of the
University of Oklahoma College of Dentistry where she graduated with honors.
She is also a pharmacist and obtained her
degree in pharmacy from Southwestern
Oklahoma State University in 1986. Dr.
Browning extends a special invitation to the
practice to all Herland Voice readers.
•
A6andoned
Outside the rain is falling ,
9nside my heart is calling
Your name
9nto the darkness.
But you don't hear me;
You can't hear me.
'.3orever reaching toward you
'.3orever trying for you,
9t's just a game,
You're not to blame
ohat you can't hear me,
May never hear me.
Lonely Child inside is aching,
Can't understand the making
Of Her pain.
9t feels insane,
ohat you don't hear Her;
You can't hear Her.
ohe hardest thing 9've ever done
9s looking deep inside of me;
Searching deep inside to see
ohe One that was abandoned long ago,
Precious Child no one
would take the time to know.
She craves your understanding;
She needs no one remanding
Her their shame.
'Jor it's not Her shame
oliat !JOU don't hear Her;
May never liear Her.
Shunned 6y aU in Her time of need,
Now 9 alone can plant the seed
l:u stop Her pain;
No one's to 6lame
ohat you can't liear Her;
UJiU never hear Her.
Karen Lewis, Mardi
1990
GROUP COUNSELING
OFFERED
Karen Lewis, L.P.C. is forming a therapy
group for women. Group counseling facilitates healing by offering feedback, reality
checks, and intimacy skills development.
Counseling will focus on current issues in
each woman's life and exploration of the
origins of today's problems, along with
methods and strategies to overcome them.
Fees for each weekly session are set up on a
sliding scale from $15.00 to $1.00, based
upon one's ability to pay. Any woman who
wishes to take part in the group is welcome.
The group will start meeting at the
Herland building each week as soon as
enough women have expressed interest in
such a group. Call Karen at 528-3151 for
more information or to join the group. •
Ii
THE LOONY-BIN TRIP: A BOOK REVIEW
Twenty years ago, Kate Millett published
Sexual Politics, a landmark book and runaway
bestseller that galvanized the women's movement and catapulted her to fame. Millett
made headlines across the country, including
the cover of Time. Eventually, however, she
disappeared from public view, enduring
forced hospitalization and even attempting
suicide in a private battle against the stigma
of mental illness-a struggle which became
for Kate Millett a fight for her very self.
The Loony-Bin Trip is Kate Millett's shockingly frank autobiographical account of this
struggle. Written with cinematic immediacy,
The Loony-Bin Trip chronicals a dramatic
cycle of events beginning with Millett's
decision to go off lithium. After six years of
coping with the diarrhea, hand tremors and
sluggishness that were its side effects, Millett
is determined to give up lithium and the
shame and collusion it represents to her.
Readers are then swept along the course of
a full manic episode, beginning with Millett's
elation over what seems to be "the happiest
summer of her life," marred, however, by the
mounting pressure to prove to those around
her that she is well without lithium. The
atmosphere becomes increasingly ominous
as the author begins to doubt her own sanity
and the loyalty of her friends and family.
The autumn is a time of escalating mania, and
a fight from the threat of forced hospitalization,
which culminates in Millett's being committed
against her will to a mental institution in Ireland.
She experiences once again what she calls "the
loony-bin trip, the shame, .rhe terror of being
locked up," and conveys a frighteningly real
insider's look at a mental ward.
Following her release, Millett returns to
New York and sinks into a paralyzing bout of
depression which soon leads to thoughts of
suicide, and which forces her to seek help.
Slowly she comes out of the abyss and
regains control of her life by finally coming
to terms with the disease that threatened it.
The Loony-Bin Trip is a compelling tale of a
woman fighting to overcome the stigma of
mental illness. With her haunting evocation
of the shame, anger and fear she experienced
in her battle with family, friends, the medical
establishment-and herself- Kate Millett
shows readers from the inside what it is like
to "go crazy," and to finally triumph over
mental illness.
The Loony Bin Trip is available now at
Berland.
•
NATIVE AMERICAN
GAY AND LESBIAN
QUARTERLY
"Two Eagles," an international Native
American gay and lesbian quarterly, made its
debut in June 1990. "Two Eagles" features
articles, writing and art by Native American
gays and lesbians with special emphasis on
spiritual and cultural concerns. Submissions
from gay and lesbian indigenous peoples
worldwide are welcome.
Goals of the publication are to break down
the isolation that exists for many Native gays
and lesbians, to celebrate and reclaim Native
gay and lesbian traditions, and to promote
healthy lifestyles and positive identities.
Anyone is welcome to subscribe to "Two
Eagles." Rates are $8.00 U.S.A./individual
and $10 U .S.A./institutional. Checks or
money orders can be mailed to: A.I.G.L. P.O.
Box 10299, Minneapolis, MN 55458. · •
TON·O·PENNIES!
BE A PART OF HERLAND
Herland is the collective effort of the
women of Oklahoma. You can be a part of
creating and sustaining this very special
community we call Herland. Join a committee, volunteer to work in the resource
center, or make a contribution to help
meet the monthly expenses. Berland will
be what you make it.
FIRE STRIKES
LESBIAN
CONNECTION
For the second time in its 16-year existence, fire has struck the offices of Lesbian
Connection, the free nationwide newsletter
for lesbians. The fire, which occurred at approximately 11 :30 p,m. on June 7th was apparently
started accidentally by a male youth who
was indiscriminately shooting off fireworks.
One of the Ambitious Amazons (the caretakers of LC) was in the building at the time,
but she escaped uninjured. However, her car
was parked next to the building and was
totally destroyed, as was the building's back
storage area. Damage was initially estimated
at $17,000, but the actual costs for repairs
and cleaning have yet to be determined.
The fire was contained to the rear portion
of the building. The first floor areas used for
production of the newsletter (i.e. layout,
printing, collating, bundling) were relatively
unharmed in the blaze. All 18,000 copies of
the July I August issue of LC escaped the fire,
and were mailed on June 15th as scheduled.
The second floor suffered extensive smoke
damage, however, and it is unknown how
this will affect the free lesbian lending library
and the equipment housed upstairs (computer, copier, etc.)
The building is fully insured, but at this
time it is unclear exactly how much of the
loss will be covered. Lesbians who would like
to make a tax-deductible donation to help
with the rebuilding process, or who would
like to get on the Lesbian Connection mailing
list, can write to Elsie Publishing Institute,
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, MI 48826. •
YES, I want to help Herland continue
to grow.
DISPLAY ADS:
business card or 1/10 page ...
1 /4 page •....... . .......
12 page ....... • .........
full page ...•.•.• • • • .....
D I'm interested in working on a committe. Please have the committee
· chair call me.
CLASSIFIED ADS:
first 10 words ........•. . .•.. $2.50
each additional word •••....•.• $ .10
D I'd like to volunteer at Herland.
Please have the volunteer coordinator call me with more information.
DISCOUNTS: available on advance
prepaid orders only
1-3 months order .. •........ .
4 - 6 months ..•.....• . •• . .•
7 - 9 months . . . . . .. . .......
10 - 12 months •... . . . .. . • • ..
D Here's my contribution of _ _ __
to help support Herland.
Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
$ 15.00
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none
10%
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~
Phone -----------~
Start saving your pennies now for
Herland's upcoming "Ton-0-Pennies
fundraiser. Prizes to be given away for the
most pennies brought in. Watch the
Address------------
Voice for further details!
State/ZIP - - - - - - - - - - -
City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
PLEASE NOTE: There will be a minimal
charge for typesetting done to any
advertising.
Leave message for Ginger at HSR,
(521-WMYN) to place an ad.
HSR, AUGUST, 1990
7
848-5429
M. COLEEN WOODY
MARILYN D. BEST
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
General Practice
SHIRLEY M. HUNTER, M. Ed.
LICENSED- PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR
Emphasis on the problems of gay people.
PENN PARK OFFICE COMPLEX• SUITE 102
5009 N. PENNSYLVANIA e OKLAHOMA CITY, OK73112
TREAT YOURSELT TO THE "TOUCH OF GOLD."
Treat your special someone, too, for $10 off her massage!
HEALTHFUL • STRESS RELIEVING MASSAGE
Special
discounts
available
to all
Her land
readers!
Melanie ~- McKiddy
MASSAGE THERAPIST
360 - 6945
"t
~-
Z'di4
"Portable"
massage
table
available
for your
(405) 789-1935
~- ~t/Nlu.,,
Edwina V. Johnson, D.D.S.
5009 North Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 103
(405) 840-5410
Night & Sunday practice by appt. only
Emergencies welcome
Insurance accepted
convenience.
Office Hours
By Appointment
405-525- 2174
"Catering to Cowards needing Tender Care"
in Comprehensive Dentistry
ooucfi of Qold
Gy
1518 N.W. 29th St.
Oklahoma City, OK 73106
ie.'PI.., Z'.Z'.S.
Sam L. Nicolosi, D.V.M.
NICOLOSI ANIMAL HOSPITAL
Comprehensive Dental Care
1501 North Rockwell
Oklahoma City, OK 73127
4015 N.W. 23rd
Oklahoma City
by Appointment
Phone (405) 947-5545
REGISTRATION FOR FALL RETREAT (FOR WOMEN ONLY)
NAME(S) _ _ _ __
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
ADDRESS _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Number of Pets _ _ _ _ _ __
(Pets must be kept on leash and no
pets in main building.)
CITY _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ STATE._ _ _ _ _ ZIP_ _ _ _ _ PHONE( _ _ _) _ _ _ _ _ _ __
D I would like a scholarship
D I would like to lead a discussion group on _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
D I would like to attend a group on _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .a nd a possible leader is _ _ __ __ __ _ _ __
Registration (including meals) is from $30 to $40 based on your ability to pay. Registration on-site is
$45.00. Return this form to: HSR, 2312 N.W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112