HerlandVoice-1988-08-v5-no08_ocr.pdf

Title: HerlandVoice-1988-08-v5-no08_ocr.pdf
extracted text: HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES, INC.
2312 NW 39th, OKC, OK 73112

VOLUME 5, NUMBER 8
AUGUST, 1988

Around the Corner
HERLAND OPENS HER DOORS
OKLAHOMA CITY - Herland Bookstore and
Library will open its doors on Monday,
August lst at 4:00 PM, and will be open
for business until 7:00 PM.
Although the building is still not
quite completed, Herl and ·Board of Directors believes tne store can open ana be available to tne women's community while
finishing work continues.
While the store will be opening on August lst, a Grand Opening date, with all of
the accompanying festivities, has yet to
be set.
Bookstore hours will be from 4 - 7 PM
daily, 10 AM - 6 PM on Saturday, and l - 6
PM on Sunday.

Sonja, Katny, Sally, and Mary Ann for organizing this very successful and needed
benefit.
Of course, tnis benefit could not have
succeeded without the most important person in attendance: YOU. And DJ's, Judy,
and her loved-ones thank you far your
generosity and much-needed support.

FALL RETREAT APPROACHES

For your retreating pleasure, an added
attraction this retreat will be good, old
fashioned name-style cooking available tor
a nominal fee. This gives you a choice:
bring your own vittles, or enjoy the succulent delicacies provided by OKC's most
famous name chef, Mary R. , accompanied in
ner paragons of culinary delights by vegetable virtuoso, Cnris K.
The only meal not available for purchase will be Saturday evening's traditional Pot Luck. And it's free! But, you will
want to remember to bring some delectible
edible of your own to share w1th other retreaters at this gala event . A kitchen is
provided (at no addiHonal cost to you) if
you wisn to prepare your Saturday , evening
disn fresh for the Pot Luck. The ~ifcnen
has all the pots, pans, and utens1qs ypu

The Herl and Fall Retreat fo.r Women will
soon be upon us, so don't forget to mail
in your registration! The retreat is to
be at Sequoyah State Park near Hulbert, in
the beautiful "Green Country" of northeast
~rn Oklahoma, on September 16, 17_,_&
__l_a_.__...._____~

Continued on page 3

1

HERLAND FALL RETREAT
FOR WOMEN
Pre-reg1stratlon is $17 - $20, based on your ability to pay. Upon receipt of your
check, a map to the campsite and list of suggested itetllS to bring w111 be 11111led
to you. Deadline for pre-registration is September 9, 1988.

DJ'S HOLDS BENEFIT FOR
CANCER PATIENT
OKLAHOMA CITY - DJ's Club sponsored a
benefit on July 21 for Judy West, an Oklahoma City woman hospitalized with cancer.
The benefit, held to help Judy offset some
of tne expenses she has incurred in her
battle against cancer, brought aut tne
best in Oklahoma City's women's community.
Entertainment consisted of numerous local individuals and groups including Tony
Sinclair and the OKC Cloggers. Benefit
proceeds came from a conglomeration of
items auctioned off in an atmospnere of
philanthropic gaiety.
Among the more popular items sold at
the auction was "Bachelorette #l - Sally,
girl about town," wno would be entertaining her date for an evening with "cnauffer-driven limousine, champagne and din"
ner." Sally brought over $600.00. Other
items and donations for Judy brougnt the
benefit proceeds to a total of $4,855 . 00,
the largest amount ever raised in a gay/
lesbian benefit in Oklahoma.
The benefit was a class act accentuated by tableclothes, flowers, and candlelignt supplied by Sally and Sonja. DJ
and Pam wish to thank Tony, Michael, Berney, the OKC Cloggers, Darla, Valentino's,
Concept Framing, Sixty-one May Liquor,
Becky & Cindy, Hi-NRG, Tne Flower Bin,
Kevin, Jerry, Wilma, Susan and Kathrine,
Bonnie M, Sht~ley Hunter, Hi-Lo Club,
Herland Sister Resources, Janet, Collette,
Gino, and Diane . And a special thanks to

Name(sl _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

'I

Number of Pets
(Pets must be k-ep_t_o_n--leash
and no pets In mai , . bldg.)

Address
City

Zip

Phone
I would like a scholirship

hnount Enclosed

$_ _ _ _ __

I would like a work exchange
I will provide---- scholarship(sJ

I would 11ke to lead a d1scussion group on - - - - - - - - -

subject.
I would like to attend a group on - - - - - - - - - - - -

subject and a possible leader i s - - - - - - - - - - - - Things I liked at other retreats w e r e - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Things I disliked about other retreats w e r e - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Suggested solutions - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I would like to p r o v i d e - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - f o r the Retreat auction.
Mail to:

Herland Sister Resources
S Laura, Camp Di rector
4924
Kathy

s.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

73135

I

J

PUB LI SHED BY :
IN C.; 231 2
73112 .
CI RCULATION:
GENE RAL INFO:

HE RLAND SIS TER RESOURCES,
NW 39th ; Oklahoma City, OK

r

700
(405) 794- 7464
672 -41 41
VOLUNT EER INFO :
528-0604
ADVERTIS ING :
794-7464
DEADLI NE on all advertising and submissions i s the 15th of each month .
SUBSCRIPTIONS to t his Newslette r are free
upon request .

A NN0 UNC E S

n-•••a

ti

D

NEW HERLAND BOOKSTORE OPENING ON MONDAY AUGUST l
from 4:00 til 7:00 PM

111

tl~l--MOl.-il94Dl.-ill9411~1--MOl.-i•IHIMllllM~~~I

IS IT TIME TO UPDATE YOUR
FRIEND OF HERLAND CARD?

HERLAND S FALL RETREAT
at
SEQUOYAH STATE PARK
near Wagoner
1

With He r land Bookstore once again open
to the community, it's time t o check your
Friend of Herl and Card . Is it time to
renew it?
As al l of you who have a Fri end of Herland Card know , the Card gives you a 10%
discount on all He rland Store merchandise
as well as a 10% discount .on Her l and sponsored concerts ove r the l2 ~ month period
the Card covers . Use of the Herland Li brary is also included with the Friend of
Herland Card .
To show your support for Herl and and
the women's co1T1J1unity , use the fonn below
to receive your new Friend of Herland
Card. Your donation , Herl and's lifeblood,
is very much needed and appreci ated.

-

-

- -

-

-

-

- - -

SEPTEMBER 16, 17, &18
a a

a

- -

-

a

I

a

• • •

a

a

a

D

a

a

II

a

If you are planning to move, and you don't wan t to miss
any issues of the HSR Newsletter , please let us know your
new address BEFORE you move. The Post Offic~ will NOT forward
the Newsletter, and Herland will NOT change ~our address without your authorization. Therefore, to insure receipt of the
Newsletter fill out and mai l us this Change of Address form
BEFORE you move. The fonn may also be used to add a new name
to the mailing list.

---

$100

•

a

IS YOUR ADDRESS CHANGING?

YES ! I want to hel p He rl and with a
donat i on t o the Ne vJ Buildi ng Fund.

$50

a

-...,

_YES! I want to be a Fri end of Herl and.
My minimum donatio n of $12 allows me use of
I the He rl and Li brary and a 10% discount on
store purchases ove r the next 12 mo nth s .
$1 2
$

$20

1

NEXT COLLECTIVE MEETING
CALL 794-7464 for time & place

:

$15

a

1•

r

$25

-

-

-

I

$- - I wou l d li ke to vol untee r to work at
the Bookstore .

- - -

-

-

-

-

- - -

-,
I
I

CHANGE OF ADDRESS FORM

~ame(s):

pld Address:

I 1<1ou ld like t o vol untee r my s kill s to
he l p renova t e Herl and 1 s new home.

City :
Zip:

State:

Name :
~ew

Address :

Address:
City:

Zi p:
- - - - - - - St :
Telephone Number ; (
Mail to : Herland Si ster Resou rces , Inc .
2312 NW 39th
Oklahoma Ci ty , OK 731 12
City :

..__

__ _

Zip:

State :
Phone Number: ( _

}

jMail t o: Herlan d Siste r Resou rces, In c.
2312 NW 39th St reet
Oklahoma City , OK 73112

2

L

- - -

- - - - -

- - -

- -

_J

Continued from page 1
may need.
Bring food for tne Pot Luck dinner, a
flashlight, sleeping bag or other bedding,
pillow, toiletries, clothing, beverages,
musical instruments, games, sporting equipment, and any other fun things you would
likP. to play with or eat at a weeKend getaway. Everything else is provided.
Herland is once again offering scholarsh1ps and work exchanges. Please contact
Laura at 672-4141 for information. Preregistration is $17-20 based on your ability to pay. On-s1te registration will be
$25. Herland prefers advance registrations so activities and fooa arrangements
may De better planned. However, Laura
says she doesn't mina collecting tnat extra $5 for on-site registration~

RETREAT TO FEATURE
COMEDIENNE KAREN WILLIAMS
A VERY FUNNY LADY

This retreat will introduce comedienne
Karen Williams to Oklahoma and promises to
be a very jocular experience for all.
Karen will De coming to us from ner home
in Berkeley, California. She has performed in countless establishments in northern
California , the National Women's Music
Festival, the National Women's Studies
Conference in Minneapolis (1988) , and has
appeared on local radio and television.
Camp Director, Laura , saw her performance
at the National women's Music Festival in
May. Calling Karen ' s humor "hilarious ,
political, and blunt", Laura is eager to
have her perform for Herland's retreaters .
Additional entertainment is to be provided by Nancy Scott, singer/musician from
down around Austin , Texas, who has been
called "great", by those locals who have
seen her perform.

LUECKE MEMORIAL FUND
ESTABLISHED
HERLAND CALLS FOR VOLUNTEERS
STILLWATER - According to an Oklahoma
State Un1vers1ty off1c1al, a memorial fund
has been established for the late Janema ri e Luecke . Luecke, who was an OSU
professor of English for 21 years, a poet,
feminist, lecturer, and a Benedictine involved and committed to the betterment of
the world around her, died late last year.
It is hoped that contributions to the
Janemarie Luecke Memorial Fund will be
used for an annual Luecke Scholarship or
Luecke Prize to be awarded to the best
student essayist or poet. However plans
have not yet been finalized.
For information, write to the Luecke
Memorial Committee; English Department;
Oklahoma State University; Stillwater, OK
74074.

BURN-OUT A PROBLEM

OKLAHOMA CITY - Burnout, that nebulous
malady of volunteer organizations, is taking its toll among the Herland collective.
As is tne case in the world of volunteerism, an organization depends upon a
dedicated few to survive . Herland is such
an organization, with a dozen or so women
at its core who believe in Herland's goals
and objectives strongly enough that they
put the majority of their time and energy
into seeing that Herland is kept alive for
the benefl t ot tne women's and gay community.
Rut what happens when those few core
volunteers begin to suffer burn-out as the

3

result of unrelenting duties and obligations associated with the volunteer organization? What happens when there is no
one there to relieve tnem for a spell so
that they may catch their breath and reenergize? In the case of many a volunteer
organization, it dies. Herland is struggling to prevent this, but the dozen or
so core volunteers are weakening under the
burden they must carry.
When Herland's day to day needs are
shared by a larger number of volunteers,
it lightens the work load for everyone,
and again makes Herland Sister Resources
an organization in which volunteers truly
enjoy volunteer work.
So, won't you please give Margaret a
call at 528-0604 and volunteer to help
Herland lighten the load, and once again
make Herland Collective an organization
where volunteering is fun?

Around the Country

U of A GAY/LESBIAN STUDENTS
WIN FIRST AMENDMENT CASE

ST. LOUIS - The United States Court of
App ea 1s for the 8th C1 rcuit has ruled in
LESBIAN MARINE IMPRISONED
favor of tne Gay and Lesbian Students'
Association in the case of GLSA v. Gohn.
FOR CONSENSUAL SEX
Reversing an earlier ruling by District
Court Judge H. Frank Ii n Waters, the Apea Is Court ruled that the University of
PARRIS ISLAND, SC - A woman Marine cor- Arkansas violated the GLSA's First Amendment right to freedom of speech when uniporal was convicted on charges of having
versity officials allowed and upheld a
sex with another woman and nas been senStudent Senate denial of funds to the
tenced to a year in prison . Marine Cpl .
Barbara Baum, 2J, was convicted of sodomy, group in November 1985. The decision was
oostruction of justice, and committing in- unanimous for the GLSA on all issues.
decent acts with women and was sentenced
GLSA v. Gohn is the first gay/lesbian
on June 10, 1Y88 at the Parris Island Mastudent organ1zat1on funding case in the
rine Corps Kecruit Training Depot .
nation, and the case sets a major preceBaum's conviction is part of an ongoing dent which may now be cited by any gay/
lesbian student group, or , indeed, by
investigation of lesoianism at the Parris
Island facility, byt she was the first wo- any gay/lesbian group or individual who
contests the freedom of speech issue.
man to have been courtmartialed on sex
charges. Of tne four other women investl he right to campus ·recognition and priigated in tne Marine Corps witchhunt avileges for gay/lesbian student groups
was first established in the 1970's, but
gainst lesbian Marines, one has oeen discharged in lieu of court-martial and three until now no group had been able to establish the legal right to fair treatment
others have been discharged.
Major David Beck, the Marine prosecuror, in funding.
The appeals court agreed with the lowhad asked the jury to sentence Baum "for a
large number of years" in order to send "a er court that the University need not
supply funds to student organizations,
message , if you wil I, because a message
but it said that if funds are made availis going to go out from your sentence to
able they must be distributed in a neuother Marines in similar situations ...
that as a Marine of any rank, such conduct tral manner - "without regard to the con~
tent of the idesa being expressed . " The
wi 11 not be to Ierated . "
University of Arkansas wi 11 now be orderApparently, the Marine Corps witchhunt
ed to refrain from its discriminatory
was prompted by a report published last
treatment in funding, and the University
fall which mentioned lesbianism amont Mamust pay all of the GLSA's legal costs
rine Corps women. The report was issued
and attorneys' fees. It is estimated
by Defense Advisory Committee on Women in
that the payment will range from $15,000
the Service.
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to $3U,OOU.
With reference to Judge Waters' citaurges lesoians and gay men to protest this
tion of !lowers V. Hardwick \1986 Supreme
latest example of military homophobia.
Court sodomy decision), the Court wrote,
"The military in general and the Marine
"What is at issue here is not .... the conCorps in particular · seem obsessed with lstitutional status of sexual preference,
dentifying gay people in the ranks and
but speech on the subject of nondiscrimdriving them out s~nply because they are
ination . "
gay or lesbian", said NGLTF Privacy ProThe court concluded, "The facts of th
ject Di rector Sue Hyde . "No effort was
this case are so obvious that a remand
made to evaluate !latbara Baum's service
for an explicit finding \that is, a rerecord . Sne was charged and found guilty
turn to District Court for retrial) would
of private, consensua l sex with another
be a waste of time . fhis record leaves
wo.man . The gay and lesbian community of
no reasonable doubt that funds were dethis country should send its own message
nied because of disagreement with the
to the Marine Corps: Get out of our bedGLSA's speech. A finding the other way
rooms and stop tne attacks on gay people
would be clearly erroneous."
in uniform. "
Cpl. Baum's case .will be reviewed by
Linda Love 11
the Parris Island base commander, Maj.
Up & Coming, July, 1988
Gen. Joseph Hoar. Hoar can either reduce
~aums's prison sentence or let it stand,
but cannot increase it . After Hoar's review, Baum's case is automatically reviewed by tne Navy and Marine Court of Mili tary Review in Washington. Tne Military
is rece i ving letters urging that Baum's
SENATE VOTES TO ALLOW
conviction be overturned and her sentence
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST GAYS
waived . You may express your own opinion
on this matter by writing to: Maj. Gen.
Joseph P. Hoar ; Marine Corps Recruits Depot; Parris Island, SC 29905 and The HonWASHINGTON - The U. S. Senate on July
orable Frank Carlucci ; Dept. of Defense;
12 , voted to exempt the application of
the Pentagon ; Washington, DC 20301.
D.C . gay rights laws to religious-affiliated schools in Wa shington , and allow them
to discriminate against gay and lesbian
student g r'oups .
Tne District of Columbia nas a numan
rignts ordinance which bans discriminat i on
against gays and lesbians . This ordinance
was tne basis of a lawsuit brought by gay
and lesbian s tudent groups against George-

4

town University and Law School almost 8
years ago. Earlier this year the case was
favorably resolved allow1ng campus gay and
le sbian groups to obtain fo rmal recognition, funding and access to school facilities for meetings and functions.
However , Sen. Willi am Armstrong ( R-CO)
introduced an amendment to the D. C. appro·
priations bill specif1cally to limit the
impact of this recent legal decision, and
the amendment passed 58-33 .
The Senate action is possible because
the Oistr1ct of Columbia is a territory,
not a state, and all Hs laws, regulations
and policies are subject to review and reversal oy the llS Congress . Congress took
d ~i1111'1ar anti-gay 5tctnd ln 1981, when 1t
overL11rned t.he repeal of DC' s sodomy law.
Lommenled a Washington, DC resident,"It is
an outrage that members of Congress who do
not live in the District , who are not
elected to represent us, and who have no
accountability to voters living here
can meddle with duly enacted laws passed
by persons DC voters have elected to represent them."
Strong opposition to the amendment was
made by Sen. Lowell Weicker (R-CT) , who
called it "codified discrimination .. . . just
good , old-fashioned bigotry . " Among those
vot ing for tne amendment were Oklahoma
senators Nickles (R) and Boren (D).
The ful l impact of the Armstrong amend~ent and its constitutionality ar~ · c til I
in question. The meas ure now goesv to a
joi nt Senate- Hous e conferen ce committee .
All con cerned persons .are urged to contact
the members of t he House Conference comm1 ttee: *Louis Stokes (D-OH), *Juli'an Dixon (D-CA), *Les Aucoin (D-OR), *Stenny
Hoyer ( D-MD) , *Bi 11 Green ( R-NY) , William
Natcher (D-KY) , Wes Watkins (D-OK ) ~ Lawrence Coughlin (R-PA), Ralph Regula (R-OH).
Wes Watkins· represents Oklahoma District 3,
central and southeastern Oklahoma . He and
other committee members may be reached at:
US House of Representatives, Washington,
DC 20515 .

i

COUPLES NEEDED
FOR NATIONAL SURVEY
SEATTLE - A national survey of lesbian
and gay couples is being undertaken by
PARTNERS: The Newsletter for Gay & Lesbian
Couples. The research wil I help determine
the nature and needs of this often invisible segment of the gay community. The
last major survey of gay and lesbian couples was conducted almost ten years ago.
All gay men and lesbians in a relationship are asked to participate in tne survey . The short , anonymous questionnaire
requests general information on subjects
such as di scrimination, finances , children, relationship problems and sources of
relationship support.
There is a survey form included with
this issue of the Herland Newsletter.
Please take a few minutes and fill it out ,
and ass ist in gathering this important information on the women's community .
"Tnis information promises to be of immense interest, and it wi 11 arm social
service providers and civil rights organizations with information they need ," sa id
Demian who publishes the eight-page monthly. The Newsletter contains interviews,
news, and features of interest to lesbian
and gay couples .

PARTNERS SURVEY FOR LESBIAN & GAY MALE COUPLES
The nation needs data on our community! Hence this survey. Feel free to add comments, but keep it anonymous by not signing your name.
Please complete one survey form per person & post to PARTNERS, Box 9685, Seattle, WA 98109. To receive survey results, which are
expected by January 1989, please send request with a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

We have been together:
[ ] one year or less
[] for
years
I have had
( #) previous major
Iesbian/gayrel'ationship(s), lasting a
total or
years. I've been heterosexually married __ (#) time(s).
We met through (choose one):
[ ] work [ ] friends [ ] bar
[ ] social event
[ ] religious event
[ ] classified ad
( ] political event
[]
We are:

[ ] female

I am:
[ ] gay/lesbian
[] bisexual

[ ] male
My partner is:
[]

[]

I am __ yrs. old & my partner is __.
My partner is:
I am:
[]
[] Black
(]
[] White
(] Latino/Latina
[]
(] Asian/Pacific Islander []
(]

(]

I was
[]
[]
[]
(]

raised:
working class
middle class
moneyed class

My partner:
(]
[]
[]

[]

I have completed
(#) years of
formal education. My partner has
completed
(#)years.

My partner:
I'm politically:
[ ] very liberal
[]
[] liberal
[]
[] moderate
[]
[]
[] conservative
[]
[ ] very conservative
My faith is:
My partner's:
[]
[ ] Protestant
[] Jewish
[]
[]
[] Catholic
[]
[ ] Atheist/Agnostic
[]

[]

In our relationship, I make:
f I most decisions
( ] about half of the decisions
[ ] few decisions

We have experienced discrimination
against same-sex couples in:
[ ] employment
[ ] taxes
[ ] employment benefits
[ ] housing
[ ] foster care
[ ] adoption
[ ] membership
[ ] insurance
[ ] credi tfbanking
[ ] hotels
[] hospital visitation
[] None
[]

I live
[]
[]
[]
[]

in:
My partner in:
an urban gay neighborhood [ ]
an urban area
[]
a suburban area
[]
[]
a rural area

I/we have sought re·
Iationship help from:
[ ] counselors
[ ] clergy
[ 1 friends
[ ] relatives

We care for
(#) children by:
[ ] previous marriage
[] adoption
[ ] foster parent program
[ ] alternative insemination
[]

We
[
[
[

are:
] planning to have (more) children
] considering (more) children
] not planning (more) children

We are sexually:
[ ] monogamous
[ ] non-monogamous
[] monogamous w/agreed exceptions

If agreed to monogamy, I have broken
the agreement:
[] often
[ ] sometimes
[ l rarely
(]

never

My partner
admits to
breaking it:
[]
[]

[]
[]

In the last year, I have had sex with
my partner
(#) times a month.
Our sexual interaction is:
[ ] excellent
[ ] good
[ I satisfactory
[ ] unsatisfactory

I have s"x with people other than my
partner
(#)times a month.

The role AIDS plays in my intent to
continue my relationship is:
[ ] major
[ ] minor
[ ] none

Our income is:
[ ] entirely shared
[ ] partly shared
[ 1 not shared
My employer ofMy partner's emfers my partner:
ployer offers me:
[]
r l health coverage
[]
[ ] other benefits

[]

Our relationship has suffered from:
[ ] verbal abuse by partner
[ ] physical abuse by partner
[ ] substance abuse by partner
[ ] verbal abuse by me
[ ] physical abuse by me
[ ] substance abuse by me

If living together, our residence is:
[ ] jointly owned
[ ] owned by one of us
[ ] rented or leased in one name
[ ] rented or leased in both names

I want:

My yearly
My partner's
income is:
income is:
[]
[ ] $8,000 or below
[]
[ l $8,001 • 15,000
[]
[ l $15,001. 25,000
[]
[ 1 $25,001 . 40,000
[]
[ 1 $40,001. 65,000
[ ] above $65,000
[]

sex
relatives
health
career

We have
(#)big arguments and
__ (#) smaII arguments a month.

The role AIDS played in my decision to
form my present relationship was:
[ ] major
[] minor
[ ] none

[]
[]
[]

our

In the past year, we lived together:
[ ] always
[ ] sometimes
[ ] never

I spend the most leisure time with:
[ ] myself alone
[ ] my partner
[ ] my partner & others together
[ ] people other than my partner

My partner has
asked for:
More time together
[]
Less time together
[1
neither more nor less [ ]

The two greatest challenges in
relationship have to do with:
[ ] communication
[]
[ ] money
[]
[ ] co-workers
[]
[ ] neighbors
[]

Regarding AIDS, I am: My partner is:
[ ] not at risk
[]
[ ] at risk
[]
[]
[ 1 HIV-positive
[]
[] a person with ARC/AIDS
Within our relationship this past year,
we practiced sex that is primarily:
[ ] safe
[ ] possibly safe
[ ] unsafe
[ ] We didn't have sex
[ ] We're HIV-negative & monogamous

This past year
My partner
outside the relation·
has
ship, I have practiced:
practiced:
[ ] safe sex
(]
[]
[ ] possibly safe sex
[]
[ ] unsafe sex
[]
[] no sex
[]
don't know

Were they
helpful?
[]Yes
[]No
[]Yes
[]No
[ l Yes [ J No
[]Yes
[]No

I most often identify
My partner
my partner as:
cans me:
[] spouse
[]
[]
[ ] partner/life partner
[] lover
(]
[]
[ ] mate/life mate
(]

_______

[]

We have executed: We plan to execute:
[] Wills
[]
[]
[ ] Powers of Attorney
[ ] Partnership or Living []
Together Agreement
[]
[]

_______

We are committed to be together:
[ ] for life
[ ] for a long time
[ ] for a while
[ ] briefly
We have ritualized our relationship:
[ ] with a ceremony
[ ] by weari;,g rings/other symbols
[]

I would rate the quality or our
relationohlp, rrom 1 (highest) to 7
(lowest), as:
Here' s how I would rate the support
these people give our relationship,
from 1 (strong support) to 7 (hostility).
(Use "N" if they don't know about the
relationship.)
gay friends
other friends
church
- - gay church
mother
- - siblings
father
- - other relatives
other co-workers
boss
- - lesbian/gay coupleSgroup
- - other gay organizations
First 3 numbers or my zip code:
My partner [ ] is [ ] is not submitting
a completed copy of this survey.

Please write on the back:

a> books or resources that have best
supported your relationship;
b > hints you would offer to others for
making a successful relationship;
c > political or social victories you have
experienced as a gay couple.

Thank you for participating.
···Entire contents C>PARTNERS, 1988 ...

PARTNERS: The Newsletter for Gay & Lesbian Couples. Practical information & ideas for developing successful relationships.
Interviews, news & reviews in an 8-page monthly, mailed in a peek-proof envelope. Mailing list is never sold or rented. By subscription only:
$3G/yr, organizations $49/yr, overseas $59/yr (U.S. funds only), $3/sample issue, back issues (from Dec. '86)/$3 ea. Special offer: Send a
self-addressed, stamped envelope for free list of "Resources for Lesbian & Gay Couples."

x---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&
Would you & your partner be willing to be interviewed for a PARTNERS article? (We would call
talk with you both for a painless
25 minutes. Pseudonyms can be used in the article. Cut off this form & mail separately to maintain anonymity of survey.)
Our names are
(please p r i n t ) : - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Phone IF _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Best days & time
to reach us both: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Please write on the back what in particular you would like to talk about.

A NIGHT OF LIGHT AND LOVE

united in our struggle to be free. We
wish everyone coula join us in New Orleans,
but those who are unable we hope will participate by sending their dollars."
If you wish to participate, send $2 for
NEW ORLEANS - Delegates to the Republican
National Convention to be held here in Aug- each candle \$20 per dozen) to Night of
Light and Love; P.O . Box 850413; New Orleans,
ust will be greeted by the Gay and Lesbian
. . A 70185. Please include the name of the
community with a Night of Light and Love.
person remembered and . the circumstances surOn Saturday, August 13, from dusk until
rounding the reason for inclusion. The
dawn, thousands of candles wil I be lighted
wis he s of those wanting to remain anonymous
"in memory of those lost to AIDS and those
will be respected. Proceeds in excess of
who continue to suffer and die because of
expenses will be donated to Community Reanti-gay prejudice and discrimination."
lief for People with AIDS.
The candles wi 11 be part of a Munument
For more info : Mary Stuart; 504-484-6321,
of Truth, Love and Unde rstanding t o be eor John Ognibene; 504-945 -7508.
rected in a park near the French Quarter,
Press Release
Superdome and hotels housing convention
delegates and press covering the event.
Jrogram will be published listing those
remembered. The Monument will remain in
place during the convention and according
to John Ognibene, originator of the idea,
"We hope that all people, not just gays
and lesbians, will come to the Monumen t and LESBIANS AND GAYS TO LOBBY
CONGRESS IN OCTOBER
understand that our cause is their cause .
As any human being would want to live his
or her life openly, freely and without prejudice and fear - so do we. And we will."
WASHINGTON - The National Gay and LesCo-organizer, Mary Stuart, said of those bian Task Force (NGLTF) is planning and
unable to come out of the closet, "This is
organizing two days of Congressional lobbying in support of gay and lesbian rights
an opportunity for people still closeted
to speak out loudly and clearly that we are to take place during October 6 - 7, 1988.

The National Lobby Days for Lesbian &Gay
Rights will mark the third time gay rights
supporters have lobbied Congress in mass.
"In 1979, we came to educate," said
NGLrF Peri Jude Redecic, referring to the
first national lobby day held in October
of 1979. "In 1987, we came to challenge
the legislative system with our agenda,
and we had over half a million supporters
to back us up on the Ca pi to l steps. " Over 900 people participated during the
two days of constituent lobbying la st October during the Nationa l March on Washington. "In 1~ 88, kadecic said, "we are coming back to Washington to demand legislative change."
The National Lobby Days wi 11 have a
twofo Id focus. First, constituents will
press legislators to enact bills in t he
final days of the lOOth Congressional session. Second, activists will evaluate the
performance of their elected RepresentativPs witn the presentation of Report
Cards. NGLTF has begun preparation of the
Report Cards which will detail members'
voting records on key issues and bills of
concern to the gay/lesbian community.
"Our Congressional Report Cards will
Continued on page 6
'V

Sun.

Tue..s.

Mon.

F""r i.

W'ed. lhur-s.

~
OPEN Sf.
'l-7~t'
Mo!{7£(1/- 7'fE>~

1

Sat.
tfEM/I)

1!casroer=
~
1oam - G/ll'>1

.......
l

2

3

L.J

s

:Li

@ 1-1

~rn12~Y.S

7'f'f-'1l/b'f

b

NJ/T'L~E

.?11/trt;t.! '111$11
PAV l'5GESWtW)
51?-rn:sof 7w1Ntj31- Mr. 5T M~Y~

~-m..zo 7

8

9

.iO

~~

<f11m-?

Lf

1:.

i5

ib

1.7

18

~-oe>~:t 9

2i

22

23

24-

25

2.b

2fJ

29

30

31

'7tWI>AY5

7'1'-1- 7'16'/

i3

?1-/4~
']):;-•s,
;)i;. '

~El<lAND
e>PeN
1-(opWJ

j

AJ--lerfaod Cafendar
l1s-h~ events spi~eJ by v.inro~ ottfdtti?aht1r\S aJ prt'f61.ted ~ asacu111111.uldy ~tee.~ .ff~.
5

20

~

Z7

Continued from page 5

Expressions
Response to the National Women's Music Festival , Bloomington, Indiana , June 2-5 , 1988.
I have been to the heart of the mother .
It is to her T pray:
Your heart is a new land boiling over with anger
refusal and danger
for those who have harmed you and your
lovers,
your sisters,
your home 1ands,
and your true brothers.
You are a relentless foe and I fear your strength in enmi ty.
My Goddess, mother
listen listen listen
in the midst of your just anger
just 1is ten.

DEMONSTRATORS TO ASK
"WHY CAN'T SHARON COME HOME?"

Every one is st ill your child ,
we are--aTl your children .
The re are those who say understanding is not always possible ,
not always advisable.
I have to say
aren't those just th e words our betraye rs have always used
when discardi ng us In favor of their own aims?
Into the wi nd of your pain I say
don 't make any more distinctions. We are all victims and betrayed here,
betrayers most of all, for they are victi ms of themselves .
Don' t say
you must be lesbian before I will accept you
you must be woman before I will accept you
you must be woman of color lesbian far left before I will accept you,
please mother of us all say
I will accept you
come to me
together we will find the way.

Teresa D. Long, B. F. A.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
6-22-88

Dear Herl and Sisters --1 thanK you for the recogniti on of my contribution to Herland in yo ur last
Newsletter (May issue), however , it's incorrect to say that I don' t benefit fr om
my gift, because I live far away.
Fi rst of all, I am Oklahoma born and bred and my parents still live in UklahOma
and peri odi cal ly I do come t hrough town and visit Herland. But beyond that, I
can't tell you how much good it does my heart just to Know that Herland is there.
I wear your T- shirt in the New York Gay Pride Maren and I tell everone about you.
I love you.
I know you all think deeply about the world and your part in providing examples
of brave new lifestyles - "profiles in courage" - as well as zestfulness and lovin g and self-development and all kinds of good things.
I trust that you are all aware to some degree of the evilness of the apartheid
system in South Africa --- it has gotten so bad that it i s now against the law
there for three Black people to stand on a street corner tal~ing to each othe r:
they can be arrested for "sedition". It is time fo r al l of us to respond.
Fortunately, there are ways for us to respond . Two laws are being considered
in the U.S. Congress which call for comprehensive sanctions of the economic system
that supports apartheid . Do not be fooled by those wno say "Well, isn't It better
to support the businesses in South Africa becau se they Might supply jobs for Black
South Africans?" The answer is "No! , It is not better". They don't really supply
the jobs promised and the only way to stop the Botha government short of bloodshed
is to convince the international business community to pull out until the Botha
government either fa 11 s or changes its policies :
So, please , ALL OF YOU write your senators, David Boren and Don Nickles, to
support Senate Bill S 2378 and write your Representatives , Wes Watkins, Dave Mccurdy , Mike Synar, etc . to support House Bill HR 1580 at U. S. Senate, Washington ,
DC 2D510 or U.S. House of Representatives , Washington 20515. And , you can call
the Capital switchboard: 202-224-3121 .
I remember a saying from childhood, "It's the squeaky wheel that gets the
grease." We have to all be alot more "squeaky." Silence= Death.
Be strong, my Sisters, keep Herland together . Be happy, too, but don't forget
the suffering in South Africa. We can't make enough noise.
I love you. We can make a difference.
11

give activists a handy format from which
to raise our issues ana will enable us to
point to the support or lack of support
the particular member of Congress provided in the past legislative session," explained Radecic .
Tne NGLTF wants the Lobby Days to become an annual tradi ti o·n, becau se they
provide a way for the Gay and Lesbian comm~nity to make its agenda visible to legislators.
An information packet to help activists prepare for the October 1988 Lobby
Days is available upon request from NGLTF ;
1517 U Street NW; Washington , DC 20009;
(202) 332-6483.

T. K. II

New York t:ity

6

WASHINGTON, DC - Demonstrators will gather in cities across the country on Sunday,
August 7th , to demand the release of Sharon
Kowalski from a nursing home in Hibbing,
Minnesota, where she has been kept by her
father since July 1985 . Kowalski, ,victim
of a drunk_driver accident, has be~f denied
access to quality rehabilitation and coDrtordered competency tests , forbidden · freedom
of association with he r friends, and separated from her partner of nine years.
National Free Sharon Kowalski Day, which
also commemorates her 32nd birthday will
take place in more than a dozen cities nationwide , including Washington, Boston, New
York, Piscataway, New Jersey, Brunswick ,
Maine , Colorado Springs, Tallahassee, Minneapolis, and Madison, Wisconsin. Local
actions wil l include vigils, processions,
rallies, street theater, and birthday cakes.
When Sharon Kowalski awoke from a coma
following her accident in 1983, the prognosis was bleak: her brain stem inj ury left
her largely paralyzed ana unable to speak,
and she experienced short term memory problems. Through the daily and devoted care of
her partner, Karen Thompson, Kowalski's conaition improved dramatically . She was able
to eat and drink wit hout a feeding tube,
move her fingers, hands, and right arm, and
comb her hair . She could communicate wit h
an electric typewriter and clearly answered
questions on a ra nge of topics, such as her
job before the accident, her favorite flowers and colors, and her re lationship with
Thompson . St. Cloud neurologist Or. Keith
Larson , has said "Sharon's friend , Karen ,
can get out of Sharon physical actions, attempt at vocalization and longer periods of
alertness and attention than can really any

We encourage the exchange of information, personal opinions on issues of concern to the Oklahoma women ' s community ,
and your stories and experiences .
The editor reserves the right to edit
and condense letters according to space
limitations. Letters should be typed,
doublespaces and signed by the author(s) .
Include your address and phone numoer.
If you wish to be published anonymously,
so indicate, but inc l ude your name, etc .,
for our informati on, in case the editor
has questions .
Mail or deliver your letters to HSR ;
2312 NW 39th , Oklahoma City, OK 73160 .
Deadline is the 15th of each month.

Continued from page 6
of our professional therapists."
When Kowalski's father, Donald , discovered the nature of the two women's relatio nship, he began working to overturn a court
order giving him guardianship but guaranteeing Thompson part icipation in all medical
decis i ons regarding Kowalski's ca re . In
1984, over Thompson's protests, he moved
Kowalsk i more than 100 miles away
from the St. Cloud, Minnesota area , where
she had been living for several years and
where quality adult rehabilitation facilities are avai !able , to a nursing hOme in
Duluth. In 1985, he moved her even further
to a nursing home in Hibbing, Minnesota,
which has a very limited rehabilitation program and whicn had been previously rejected
by the court .
Since moving her from St . Cloud, Kowalski's father has removed ner typewriter,
barred Thompson and .her other friends from
visiting her , censored ner mail , and insisted that she is a fonctional six-year-old
with no consistent thoughts . Although
guardianship law requires annual competency
tests of wards, Donald Kowalski has refused
to test his daughter for three years on the
grounds that it would be a waste of money.
Witnout proper ca re over the past four
years, Sharon Kowalski's condition has deteriorated significantly . During an appeals
process in 1985, Karen Thompson was able to
visit Kowalski for the last time . With the
typewriter Thompson provided, Kowalski
typed: "Karen he l p me. Get me out of here .
Take me home with you."
Through numerous court decisions in favor of Kowalski's father, Karen continues
her fight to bring Sharon home , because "The
last time I saw Sharon , she looked at me
with trust in her eyes - trust that I would
bring her home."
Karen Thompson has gone. to court to assure that Kowalski receives the quality care
she needs . The Minnesota courts, however,
nave refused at every turn to uphold Thompson's requests that prior court orders and
state Jaws regarding patients' rights be enforced. The cou r ts have even ruled that because Kowalski has a guardian, she is not
entitled to protection under the Minnesota
Patients ' Bil I of Ri ghts, even though her
guardian is the very person who is denying
Kowalski he r rights .
Why have rulings repeatedly been in favor
of Kowalski's fathe r and against what appears
to be the best interests of the patient?
Spe aking at a program which included the Kowalski case last Fall, the dean of Ohio State
University 's College of Law said, "All you
have to do is stand up in the courtroom , look
at tne judge and say the word 'queer', and
you can throw the wnole book of law out . "
The legal effort to free Sharon Kowalski has
now been joined by the Minnesota Civil Liberties Union and the Lambda Legal Defense
and Education ru~d.
Sharon Kowalski i s a victim of paternalistic attitudes about the disabled, homophobic fear of gay and l esbian people, abuse of
guardianship, and the se xism that restricts
women's self-determinati on. The demands be in g made by the National Committee to free
Sharon Kowalski and the participants in
Sharon Kowalski day follow this article . Until these demands are met, no one is free of
the possibility of being imprisoned and isolated from friends and partners following an
injury or illness.

her future on her own .
- As a lesbian , her choice of a partner,
Karen Thompson, is not acknowledged,
respected, or legitimized.
Each day Sharon is .deprived of her rights ,
her future deteriorates, and so does ours .
Until Sharon is free, none of us is free,
because any one of us could become a

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE:

Sharon Kowalski has been denied ner rignts
for tnree fundamental reasons:
- As a woman, she i s assumed to need tne
care and protection of a man ;
- As a disabled person, she is assumed to
have no right to make decisions about

"Sharon Kowalski."

DE.MANOS :
RE MOV E DON ALD KOWALSKI as Sharon Kowalski's guardian ano appoint Kare n Thompson
or a neutr a l

t hi rd party in his pl ace,

if

after proper testing Sharon Kowalski

is determined to need a gua rd ian.
Explanation:
Donald Kowalsk i h as consistently violated guardi a nship law by
denying Sharon Kowalski f r ee dom of association, failing to test her yea rly
f o r comp etency. an d preventing her from receiving her mail .
At the time of
t he accident, Sharon Kowalski and Karen Thompson had bought a house together,
ex changed r1ng s, and made a lifetime commitment to each other .
Th e ir relatio~s hip should be t r eate d as a marri age with the a ssumption that the partner

is give n guardianship before a parent.
GUARANTEE SHARON KOWALSKI'S RIGHTS to freedom of ass ociation. priv a cy , and relationsh ip.
Explanation:
Sharon Kowalski has been deprived of visits from her partner,
Karen Thompson ~ and her friends since August 1985 .
Karen Thompson should
immediately be a llowed private visitation rights. as heterose x ual couples
w o~ld not be denied ac cess to one another during rehabi I itation .
On the
contrary, visitation would be considered a key component in recovery.
ENFORCE SHARON KOWALSKI'S RIGHT t o recovery . including the rigl1t to receive
ade quate rehabilit ative and medical care a nd to liv e independently .
Explanation:
Sharon Ko wa l sk ; nas be e n depriv e d of a ccess to a reh a bilit •t ion
program suitabie for h er injury, as we l I as a ccess to a means of communic a tion, s uch as an e lec t ric typewriter or comput e r , an d t o a mea n s of t r a n s portation. s uch aa an e l • c tri c whe•lcha1r.

ALLOW SHARON KOWALSKI TO PARTICIPATE, to the f ulles t extent po ssib le,
gal

in a l ' f l e -

proceedings. medi c al decisi ons , and determination of ho w a nd where ah~ V\iva•

her life.

•

Ex pl a nation :

Sharon Kowalski

h as not been pr ese nt at a ny of the nume rou s

co ur t he a ring s concerning he r guardianship or treatment, although there a r e
no

med1~a1

re asons far her

•~ clu aion.

LAUNCH AN IMMEDIATE INVEST IGATI ON i nto the deni a l of Sharon Kowalski's civil a nd
constitutiona·l rights. und er th e auspices of the Minnesota Attorney Ge neral a nd
the U. S.

I

Justice Department.

Explanation:
Th e Mi nnesot a courts have consistently refused to uphold the
letter of guardi a nship law in the Sharon Kow a l sk i case.
These violations o f
her c;v; I and con s titu ti on al right s sh ould b e 1nvned i ate ly investigated by
state and federal autho r1 t1es .

RE COGNIZE THE FULL RI GHT S a n d need• o' laablana and gay men fo r aal, -d atarmlnatl on a nd e conomic, ao ci al, legal. and political equal H y. participatlon. and
free do m .
E ~p lana t ion:
Th e Congressio na l Lesbian and Gay Rights bil I banning discrimination on t h e bas is of sexua l orientation s hould be passed; alt s odomy laws
criminalizing c onse nsu al sex oet wee n adults should be repe ale d; ' a deQu at e
funotng for AIDS res ea rch shoU ld be a l l oc ated, a nd al I discri minat ion against
people w ith AI DS s hou ld e nd; and e duc at ion to combat anti -l esbia n and a nti-

gay prejudices and vi olence should be i nitiated .
RECOGNIZE THE FULL RIGHTS and needs of people wit h disabilities for self-determination and economic,
an d fr ee dom.

soc1a 1,

leg a l , an d po11 tica1

P Qu a l 1ty, participation,

People with disabilities must oe guaranteed physical, economic, and
nonprejudicial ac cess to al I aspects of 11fe, including schooling, housing,
transportation, emµluyment w it h adequate wages a nd at levels commensurate
with training and education , mass media , public a nd commercial buildings

and events. advaoce c t schnolo9y 1 health care, self-cetermined life chGices
(e.g., where and how to live and wo rk as well as free dom of ass oc iati on) ,
and sexual and political free dom .
RECOGNIZE THE FULL RIGHTS a nd needs of women for se l f -determinati on and economic, social. legal, and p ol itira l e Qu a lity , participation, and freedom.
Explanation:
To be truly free, women n eed reproductive righ ts (abortion,
childcar e, freed om from sterl 11zation a bus e, he alt h care, and day c a re) .
passage of the ERA. l esbia n r igh ts, elimination o f violence agai nst women,
6Qual p ay a nd pay equity, an end to sexist attit ud es and stereotyped medi a
images, •Qual acce ss to education, and full partnership in the political
system.
Th••• r1g h ts must be extended to wo"'9n of al l races, ethn ic1tiea,
classes, cultures, a n d •ges .

END GUARDIANSHIP ABUS E. whic h restri c ts the lives of milli on s of e ld e rly and /or
disabled people In the U.S.
Ex pl anati on:
Congressional legislation is needed to ensure m1 n1mum right~
under the equal protection a nd due proc ess provisions of the Constitution,

including the right to s
in gs,

a nd the right

l awye r , the right to be present at

to compete n t

evide nc e,

regular testing,

legal

proc ee d-

freedom of a _sso-

c iati on, a nd highest quality car e.
ENO ALL OPPRESSION b as ed on difference, especially heterose • ism . ableism.
sex ism ,

racism,

anti-semitism,

class1sm , a nd ageism.

Explanation:
Discrimination against any group in society affects all
people living in that· society.
In order to secure the rights of all peopl e ,
we must rtd society of the fe~rs, prejudices, and laws that prevent any pers on from r ea lizing her or h\s potential.

7

Classified Advertising
Specializing in:
Group and Private Psychotherapy
with Adults and Adolescents

AUTO FOR SALE - 1976 Toyota Corolla. Runs great . Body needs some
work. $600 or make offer . 524-2958 eves . and weekends.

SONYA GRAY, MSW, LCSW

AUTO FOR SALE - 1984 Mercury Marquis Bnn, excellent condition, 6 cylinder, 40,000 miles, l owner. Have all records.
$4,200. 495-4390.
HOUSE FOR RENT - 3 bedroom, l bath, large fenced yard .
but comfortable, close to Tinker. Available Aug. l.
year lease. $285 mo . negotiable. 672-6459.

Central Oklahoma Psychiatric Center
3131 N.W. Expressway
Oklahoma City, Okla. 73112

Small
One

(405) 848-2286

APT. FOR RENT - Newly-decorated efficiency apartment in northwest OKC. AC, W& G paid, parking available. $150 mo. Call
Tre at 525-8524 .

SHELLY ZAIKIS, MGA

GOLDEN THREADS - a contact publication for lesbians over 50
and women who love older women. Canada and the U.S. Confidential, wann, reliable. For free infonnation send a
self-addressed envelop {U.S. residents please stamp it).
Sample copy mailed discreetly, $5.00 {U.S.). GOLDEN
THREADS; P.O. Box 2416; Quincy, MA 02269.

Professional Handwriting Analyst

> Job counselor
> Compatibility
> Classes offered year-round

FREE - 3-year-old male Cocker Spaniel/Pekinese mix needs
good home. Call 495-4390.

(405) 946-6928

Please support Uerland's Sponsors:

HELEN HOLGATE
Certified Alcoholism & Drug Abuse
Counselor

O'l

c:
·~

"'

......

...
Q)

>

-0

"'
"'

•

KE_MCO
PRINTING INC.

-0

0.

Kelley Mattocks
340-4301

160 I S. Rroaclway. Unit D • Edmond. Okla. 73013

848-6429

SHIRLEY M. HUNTER. M.A.
LICENSED PROFElllONAL a>UNSELOR

PENN PARK OFFICE COMPLEX • IUITE 102
1G01 N PEN•VLYANIA •OKLAHOMA CITV. OK 73112

8

Part of Herland Sister Resources : v.5: no.8(1988)