HerlandVoice-1992-03-v9-no03_ocr.pdf
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MARCH 1992
Most of the women who make up the patchwork of our histon.f are unsung. Women lived before us
and shaped our cultures 4et their stories are seldom told in histon.f books. As 4oung women. we have few
examples of women and even fewer women of color to look up to as role models.
In spite of the absence of women from official histories, 4oung women still find role models. In
observance of Women's Histon.f Month we have asked several women to tell about the role models th€4
found as 4oung women.
MY ROLE MODELS, MY HER·OES
by MOC
I was a bit dim as a child, and completely bought into the patriarchal malarkey that said that only men could be heroes, only men had
adventures, only men could lead accomplished, substantial, rewarding lives . If evidence appeared to the contrary, in the persons of
Eleanor Roosevelt, for instance, or the Suffragettes, ridicule and
scorn heaped on them for their appearance and motives was more
than enough to knock them out of contention with me for hero
status. Sybil Ludington and Sacajawea I never even knew existed
until I was over forty. There was one undeniably daring, courageous
and beautiful woman who was grudgingly admired by all, but who
wants to be burned at the stake before you're 20? Sorry, Joan, you
just don't make it as a role model. By default, then, my childhood
heroes were Robin Hood and the Lone Ranger.
But, as I am today happily ensconced in a second childhood, I am
designating new childhood heroes and role models. First to mind is
that daredevil slip of a girl, Sybil Ludington, now Herland Saint and
Channeller Extraordinaire, then a hero of the American Revolution.
She did in real life exactly what I did in my fantasies night after night
in my early years: ride behind enemy lines on her/my trusted pinto,
saving the good guys, foiling the bad ones. I wish I had heard of her
before I was forty, but never mind, she is my childhood hero now.
Secondly, Rosa Parks. What I wouldn't give to have her courage
and grace, and to know that an act of mine had sparked a revolution?
Eleanor Roosevelt, who "bloomed where she was planted," as
first lady was an enormous force for good, a champion of the
oppressed and a stalwart promoter of civil rights, despite the pressures of a thankless job and a dismal marriage, and the sexist and
looksist ridicule of a huge number of people.
Sally Ride and Shannon Lucid, the explorers and cowboys of our
day. And a woman whose name I can't remember who holds all
kinds of underwater exploration records, and says that the only
thing a man can do under water that a woman can't is grow a beard.
Sister Leona Luecke, who had a magical gift that brought out the
best in everyone she touched, that made them happy to be themselves and to be living and working for peace and justice in a world
with her in it.
And finally, of course, hero of heroes, Harriet Tubman; not a role
model-who could aspire to such courage? But what a hero. She was
to courage and daring and determination as Einstein was to physics
and math and Picasso was to art-possessing an entire generation's
worth of it, a planet's worth, a world's worth.
I still have fond memories of Robin Hood and the Lone Ranger,
my childhood crushes; but I think that supplanting imaginary men
with real women as my new heroes and role models was a good
move, and gives me a much better chance of growing up someday to
be someone I like.
•
(Role Models stories continuea on page 6)
HERLAND RECEIVES GRANT
For the first time in our history, Herland has been awarded a grant from a national foundation. The $6,000 grant from the Chicago
Resource Center provides funds for operating expenses and will allow Herland to continue to work toward the three year goals
adopted in 1991 (see Voice February, 1991).
This grant will help to meet the goals of further renovation of the Herland building to make it wheelchair accessible, expansion of
library resources, greater selection of women's books and music at Herland and increased circulation of The Voice.
While these funds won't replace the need for contributions from the Herland community, they will go a long way toward helping us
meet our expanded goals. See the thermometer in this issue and help us make it rise by continuing to make donations. And thank you
all for your past and continued support of an organization that the Chicago Resource Center thinks is worth preserving.
VOLUME 9 NUMBER 3
•
HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES
•
2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112
ST. SYBIL
Sybil Ludington, as almost no one knows, was a hero of the American
Revolution, a teenaged girl who did about the same thing that Paul Revere is
famous for, but did it better and without getting arrested. Now Matron Saint of
the forgotten woman, Sybil answers the occasional odd question in this space.
Dear St. Sybil:
The manufacturers of breast implants have known for twenty
years that the implants sometimes burst, or harden like rocks;
that they can cause severe pain and distress; that they make
mammograms difficult and unreliable; that they leak and leach
silicone into women's tissue; that silicone is immensely carcino·
genie in animals; that silicone leakage is seriously implicated in
many autoimmune diseases in women, including lupus and
scleroderma. They did a study where they implanted silicone
envelopes into four dogs (I'll leave my anger at that for another
day), and reported that all four dogs did just fine, no problems,
Fido, honestly. Honestly? Honestly, one of the dogs died, another
developed a massive, albeit benign, tumor in the thoracic area.
And they told us all was well, and just kept on putting time
bombs in women's bodies, and assuring women that they were
safe-safer than real breasts, they sometimes said, since the
silicone ones wouldn't become cancerous. Oh, thank you so
much, Doctor; I'm so grateful, Dow Coming!
I am so angry at this, Syb, but here's the thing: shouldn't
women be allowed to have the implants if they want them? Isn't
it their choice?
In anger and confusion,
Bea Wilderd
Dear Bea:
You've pretty well stated the case against silicone breast implants,
although you did leave out some of the possible nasty side effects.
Before I answer your question, I'd like to spend a moment on the
concept of Woman as Toxic Waste Dump. The chemical companies
took a bizarre substance, once marketed as a toy called Silly Putty, and
came up with a way to make real money on it. Now, they might as easily
have gotten men to buy penile implants, men being as insecure about
penis size as women are about their overall bodies; but did the chem
companies market it as such? No. Why? Because it might leak, or leach,
or wander around their bodies, or harden up, or cause autoimmune
diseases, or interfere with sensation-and we couldn't do that to men,
could we?
But to women, they thought, what the hell, they'll stand for it, they're
trained to be docile and passive and accept what we do to them. We've
already got lots of them putting carcinogens on their heads on a regular
basis, going for that sexier shade of ash blond or whatever; we've had
them douching god-only-knows what kind of chemicals into their delicate vaginal tissues, and spraying other chemicals on their genitals to
forestall possibly giving some offense by smelling like a human being;
we've got them taking hair off every part of their body, frequently with
chemicals; have you ever smelled that hair removal stuff? Whew! You
know that's got to be bad for you. We've sedated them, tranquilized
them, built them up, trimmed them down-silly putty in our hands,
that's what they are.
No wonder you're angry, Bea; I just hope you extend your anger to
cover all of the harmful things women are expected to do to their bodies.
Which leads me to your question, why shouldn't women have the
choice of having silicone implants if they want them? Which leads me to
another question; why do women "choose" to harm themselves in so
many ways, with such regularity? Why, for instance, do so many women
walk around on mini-stilts, forever half off balance, butt out, upper
torso thrust forward, feet pinched, ankles overworked, hips and spine
out of alignment, teetering precariously in discomfort and pain, at
increased risk of injury from falls, incapable of any sustained athletic
2
HERLAND VOICE, MARCH 1992
effort or physical labor? Because they like it? Hardly. They choose to
wear high heels because, for one thing, it makes them socially acceptable. Being "fashionable" is a uniform requirement of the average
heterosexual woman, trying to fit into a traditional job or a traditional
marriage. (Not every woman is lucky enough to be a lesbian, Bea, or to
live a non-traditional lifestyle.) Even ifher job itself does not require her
to wear heels, she must wear them to parties, dances, church, or wherever her socializing occurs. "Sensible shoes" mark a woman who has
withdrawn from the competition, an outsider, a loser.
People want to be sexually attractive. This is the one bit of truth that
Madison Avenue is built on; and Madison Avenue and our society say
that a woman half crippled by her shoes is sexy, and that a woman
wearing comfortable shoes that cherish her feet is dowdy. What kind of
a choice does your average woman have? None; it's the "catch her/kill
her" shoes for her, every time.
So here's our average woman, powdered and perfumed and painted
and dyed and polished and tweezed and curled and squeezed and
uncomfortable as hell; and home comes hubby or boyfriend with the
latest issue of Playboy for their mutual(!) enjoyment; and guess what,
guess who is grossly inadequate in the boobs department? Now the fact
that a large percent of the young gorgeous nubile models in the flesh
magazines are themselves surgically endowed with breast implants isaren't we surprised?-rarely mentioned in their bio's. So as hard as our
poor woman has worked, as much as she has endured, she still feels
insufficiently attractive, still feels herself a failure, still feels insecure in
her body.
And you do know, I hope, Bea, that only 20% of breast implants are
done following cancer surgery; the other 80% are purely cosmetic.
According to a paper sent to the FDA by the American Society of
Plastic Surgeons, "There is a substantial and enlarging body of medical
information and opinion to the effect that These deformities (small
breasts!) are really a disease .... " So first they find a product and
procedure that will generate $450 million a year for them, and then they
manufacture the disease for it to cure. I would say that evidence is clear
that the deformities in the thinking and ethics of the plastic surgeons and
the chemical company bosses are diseased and criminal to boot.
Forced choices, Bea, are really no choice at all-ask any magician, con
artist or three-card monte dealer. Madison Avenue, the flesh magazines,
surgeons, chemical companies-huge amounts of money and exposure
are forcing the surgical card on women, encouraging them to detest their
natural bodies and to try to mold themselves into an artificial
"perfection."
People are denied the choice to do all kinds of harmful things to
themselves or to others; if breast implants are as harmful as they appear
to be, why not ban them also?
What bothers me most about breast implants, as I remember my
corporeal and sexual life (such a long time ago), is that they frequently
cause women to lose sexual sensation in their nipples. A woman who
will trade that for the approval and potential sexual pleasure of another
is surely conforming to immense and inhuman pressure.
Breast implants? I say ban them and damn them all.
Yours in frequently anguished sisterhood,
Sybil
THE ASTON MASSAGE
SPECIALIZING IN SAFE TOUCH FOR INCEST SURVIVORS
NOW ALSO OFFERING MOVEMENT COACHING
RHONDA L. SMITH
Practitioner
(405) 942-4748
(405) 524-2958
MARCH FOR
WOMEN'S LIVES
We Won't Go Back! We Will Fight Back!
The National Organization for Women is sponsoring a mass
demonstration for reproductive freedom in Washington, D.C. on
April 5, 1992. The theme for this historic event is "WE WON'T
GO BACK ... MARCH FOR WOMEN'S LIVES!" The Cleveland County NOW chapter is organizing a delegation to participate in the march.
Reproductive freedom is basic to the lives of all women and
girls, yet women of racial and ethnic diversity, poor women and
young women have suffered the greatest attack on their rights.
This march will not only focus on maintaining the rights women
have won but will demand that the rights of all women be protected and restored.
With the loss of the Webster case in 1989, which Bush urged the
Supreme Court to he~r for the purpose of overturning Roe v.
Wade, the floodgates of state legislation to restrict abortion rights
were opened. Pennsylvania, Guam, Louisiana and Utah passed
very punitive legislation denying women the right to safe, legal
abortion. The legislation was challenged in court and very recently
the Third Circuit upheld most of the Pennsylvania legislation.
This and other laws are heading toward the Supreme Court where
pro-choice advocates believe Roe v. Wade will soon be overturned.
The March for Women's Lives will be a historic and politically
significant event shaping the debate on why abortion cannot be
outlawed, why women must have access to birth control and abortion regardless of their age and economic status, why women are
determined to move forward in the struggle for women's civil
rights. It will send the message that women will not docilely return
to an era of compulsory pregnancy or to back alleys to risk our
lives in order to protect our futures.
Cleveland County NOW is organizing a charter bus (or buses)
to take a delegation to Washington. The delegation will leave
Oklahoma on Friday, April 3 and return early Tuesday, April 6.
The cost per person will be slightly over $100. If you cannot go,
please consider making a contribution to help provide scholarships to send others. For information about the Cleveland County
NOW bus, please leave a message at Herland (521-9696) and
someone will call you back, or write CCNOW, P.O. Box 1042,
Norman, OK 73070.
•
"ALL'Y ALL'Y OUTS
IN FREE!''
Do you have Herland library books you've been meaning to return someday but never quite got around to it?
March is the month to return it. Herland has declared an
amnesty for all library fines and penalties for books
returned in March. Bring those books back this month
and there'll be no questions asked-not even a raised
eyebrow when you bring in that book that's three years
overdue.
•
COME TO THE HERLAND RETREAT!
Daffodils are blooming, trees budding and the
Herland Spring Retreat is approaching. The
annual spring retreat will be held May 15, 16, 17
at Robber's Cave State Park near Wilburton.
Plans for the retreat aren't final yet but you can
expect there to be a mix of outstanding entertainment, challenging workshops, great food, and
good times with friends.
The pre-registration fee
is on a sliding scale
based on your income
and includes lodging in
a group cabin for two
nights and three meals.
A registration form is
included in this
g newsletter. -
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•·
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MUSKOGEE NOW RAL·
LIES FOR JUSTICE
One year ago, 17-year-old Muskogee High School student Robin
Thomas was beaten with a baseball bat, choked, set on fire, tossed in a
ditch and left for dead by two 18-year-old boys, one of them a former
boyfriend. The young men pled No Contest, and a few weeks ago
District Judge Jim Edmondson, saying that he did not believe that
they intended to kill Robin, sentenced them to serve 90 days in the
county jail, 100 hours of community service and $2,500 in fines; plus
a five-year deferred sentence, which means if they stay out of trouble
for five years, the charges will be erased from the record.
"I wonder if I would have died, would it have been different," said
Robin, who has required plastic surgery, is seeing a counselor and is
struggling to finish her senior year.
On Friday, February 7, Muskogee NOW marched through Muskogee
in protest of Judge Edmondson's decision. Arm in arm with Robin
and her father, Muskogee NOW Coordinator Dana Tiger delivered a
petition protesting the disgraceful sentence to the courthouse, and
then led over a hundred demonstrators through Muskogee from the
Court House to the Women's shelter.
There is no changing this particular sentence, but it is hoped that
the outrage expressed to the judge and the court will help prevent this
kind of sentencing in the future. Especially it is hoped that the demonstration of solidarity and unity, care and concern will help restore
Robin's health and faith and feelings of self-worth.
•
HERLAND VOICE, MARCH 1992
3
I
I
I
REVIEW
by Peggy Johnson
Take Your Pick ...
FRIED GREEN TOMATOES is a book and a movie
Imagine a movie with four women as lead characters. Now
imagine three of them as strong women with minds of their own
and not overly dependent on or acquiescent toward men. Say the
fourth woman is breaking out of a traditional role within a marriage. There you have Fried Green Tomatoes. And yet it is so much
more than that.
Life and death in a close-knit community. Family ties that reach
across social taboos. Love between women -:-- some of which dares
not speak its name lest the movie not make it into the mainstream.
But the amazing thing is that it is a mainstream movie and the main
characters are women, and they are strong and they do share love
and respect.
The movie follows closely to the book, Fried Green Tomatoes at
the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg from which it is adapted.
Director Jon Avnet to-wrote the screenplay with Flagg and they
have created a book/movie correlation almost as fluid as the Color
Purple's was.
I read the book first and was hardpressed to believe that the
movie could come close to catching its southern flavor, much less
the depth of character. After all, I'm from Georgia and actually
lived in Valdosta (one of the settings in the story) for two years so
I read in a southern accent. But the movie so captured the flavor
and the voice inflection (not just the drawl) that I'm actually glad
I'm from there and can talk that way without thinking about it.
Indeed, the accents were so well done that I'm thinking I used to
know those people- especially Idgie Threadgoode, played so
convincingly by Mary Stuart Masterson. Ifl didn't know her then,
I wish I did now.
Fried Green Tomatoes is a well-woven series of flashbacks to
Whistle Stop, Alabama in the early to mid-1900's by Ninny
Threadgoode, an 82-year-old woman in a nursing home in the late
'80's. Played superbly by Jessica Tandy, she reminds me of my
Great Aunt Sara. Ninny reminisces about her past to Evelyn
Couch (Kathy Bates), the one who's breaking out of a lifetime of
being a nice girl. Evelyn can't seem to find anything exciting about
life except candy bars until she gets caught up in Ninny's wanderings about Idgie and her companion Ruth Jamison (Mary-Louise
Parker). Ruth lived a short time in Valdosta, Georgia. (Maybe I
knew her.)
Anyway, the movie and the book explore Idgie's and Ruth's
relationship and the goings-on at their business establishment, the
Whistle Stop Cafe. They seem to be more than just best friends, if
you know what I mean. The book gives a clearer view of that
subject but that's not the focus anyway. There's not really any sex
or much hint of it but I've never seen a more attractive food fight.
Mostly there is just a lot of deep love, and all the relationships are
richly developed.
Overall, the book was the best at developing characters
although at first it was slow for me because it treated the racial
issues of the early 1900's in that too pleasant way of the "poor
coloreds" and the "kindly whites" But Flagg wrote herself out of
that quandary and I came to accept the light-hearted treatment as a
way to get down to the relationships among all the characters. ·
The movie's forte was in the rich photography which captured
scenery as well as the characters' faces. The acting was tremendous, from the look on Ruth's face while Idgie was retrieving a gift
for her during their picnic to the scene in which ldgie tells Ruth
the story about the ducks and the lake one more time. Cicely
Tyson as Sipsey was an added pleasure.
After I closed the book, I sobbed for a number of minutes,
mourning the loss of extended family ties and of undying love, the
curse of modem society. It snuck up on me, this perhaps due to
the writer's skill at storytelling. The movie was not quite as effective on that level but l did already know the story-line. There were
some differences, namely the ending, but I forgive the movie its
few shortcomings (including glossing over the hint of lesbianism)
so that more people may be affected by its charms.
I don't know if the movie will still be in Oklahoma City by the
time this is printed but if it is, go see it. Otherwise, read the book.
Read the book anyway. I think ya'll would like it. And don't ask
me ifl've ever had fried green tomatoes-I wuz raised on 'em. •
Protect Abortion Rights NOW!
March
for Women's Lives
!
We Won't
Go Back!
We Will
Fight Back!
11111111111111111
NEED TO TALK?
NEED COMMUNITY INFORMATION?
CALL
842-GAYS
The Gay & Lesbian
HELPLINE
Hours: 7 p.m. - 1 a.m. Wednesday - Monday
Volunteers Needed: Leave a message with
a current volunteer if you are interested.
4
HERLAND VOICE, MARCH 1992
11111111111111111
April 5, 1992
The Supreme Court could take away the right to safe and legal abortion by
July. March with us to put the politicians on notice this election year.
Because lfwe can't change their mlnds about protecting abortion rights. we
can vote to change their faces In November!
Assemble 10 a.m.
on the Ellipse
Washington, D.C.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, COITTACT:
Ma~
.. a., o .... ,
""?:C":f.::'!""'
National Organization
For Women
1000 161h Slreet. N.W.
Washington. D.C. 20036
(202) 331-0066
Freedom of Choice Act
Section 1. Short Title.
SO MANY QUESTIONS,
SO FEW ANSWERS
This Act may be cited as the "Freedom of Choice Act
of 1991"
by Nancy Dwyer
Section 2. Right to Choose
Often I have heard that wisdom comes with age. Apparently at 40 I
have not aged enough. It seems that I have more questions than answers.
For example, ifl put two matching socks into the dryer, why does only
one sock come out? Does the dryer spin so fast that the sock is thrown
into another time warp?
A second question: if everyone empties the ice trays into the containers, as required in our household, why is there never ice in the containers? Maybe those "saved" cubes are out in space with the socks.
Finally; if anti-abortion groups call themselves "pro-life" why do
they concern themselves only with the unborn? Statistics show that
millions of women and children are beaten and abused yearly, Shouldn't
the living be our prime concern? It appears "pro-lifers" are not really
pro life. These same people assure us that all fetuses not aborted will be
adopted. If this is to be believed why are older children, children of
color, and children with disabilities still in our orphanages waiting to be
adopted? Why are the neglected, abused and battered less important
than the unborn? Normally a person will not buy a car sight unseen.
Why should we buy an argument of future caring, when society cannot
care enough to ensure the health and welfare of women and children
now?
The "pro-life" movement appears to be interested only in controlling
women's bodies and returning us to the "good old days" of being in the
home, barefoot and pregnant. I suspect that I will locate the missing
socks and ice cubes sooner than I will answer the question·-of why
"pro-lifers" call themselves pro life.
•
(a) IN GENERAL - Except as provided in subsection
(b ), a State may not restrict the right of a woman to choose
to terminate a pregnancy( 1) before fetal viability; or
(2) at any time, if such termination is necessary to
protect the life or health of the woman.
(b) MEDICALLY NECESSARY REQUIREMENTS. - A
State may impose requirements medically necessary to protect the life or health of women referred to in subsection (a).
Section 3. Definition of "State"
As used in this Act, the term "State" includes the
District of Columbia, the Commonwealth of Puerto -Rico,
and each other territory or possession of the United States.
COMPLETE TEXT OF THE FREEDOM OF CHOICE ACT
FREEDOM OF CHOICE ACT
In preparation for the likely overturning of Roe v. Wade, Congress
is considering "The Freedom of Choice Act." This act would forbid
states from passing laws restricting access to abortion.
The Freedom of Choice Act's primary sponsor in the U.S. Senate
is Alan Cranston (Democrat, Calif.) and the primary sponsor in the
U.S. House of Representatives is Don Edwards (Democrat, Calif.).
There are 28 Senate co-sponsors and 126 House co-sponsors. No
Oklahoma Senator or Representative has signed on as a co-sponsor.
According to Kate Michelman, Executive Director of NARAL,
politicians would rather avoid the issue rather than risk offending
anti-choice fanatics ." NARAL is encouraging pro-choice supporters to write the Speaker of the House, Tom Foley and the Senate
Majority Leader, George Mitchell calling for a vote on the Freedom
of Choice Act.
WOMEN'S PROJECT
FILM FESTIVAL
The Women's Project is presenting its first annual Women's Film
Festival to celebrate women's experience. The festival which began
February 21 and continues through March 14, marks both Afric:m
American and Women's History Months. It will offer a variety of
documentaries, features, foreign language and international films that
examine the lives of women in the U.S. and abroad.
Cultural activities take on a decidedly political overtone at the
Women's Project which since 1981 has organized on behalf of groups
who experience oppression and marginalization in this society. The
Women's Film Festival is consistent with that tradition. Most of the
films feature unconventional portrayals of women's lives-as older
women, lesbians, women of color, Jewish women and women with
disabilities-and all are films not usually available in Arkansas.
Films scheduled for March are:
Friday, March6: Pink Triangles; Where Did You Get That Woman; Ju Dou
Saturday, March 7: Tiny and Ruby: Hell Divin' Women;, Surname Viet
Given Name Nam
Thursday, March 12: Privilege, Cycles
Friday, March 13: Finzan; Juxta; Nice Colored Girls; Positive Images:
Portraits of Women with Disabilities; Selbe: One Among Many; Two Lies;
Storme: Lady of the Jewel Box
Saturday, March 14: Honored by the Moon; Half the Kingdom
Admission is $3.50 on Thursdays and $5.50 on Fridays and Saturdays. For information location of film showings, contact the Women's
Project at (501) 372-5113.
•
HERLAND VOICE, MARCH 1992
5
I GREW UP LOVING
WOMEN ANYWAY
by Peggy Johnson
They asked me to write a story on heroes and without thinking I
somehow turned it into a story on role models. Here goes ...
I got my early heroes from TV and books. Superman was strong,
Batman was smart, Robin was young. Pippi Longstocking was a girl
( !) and clever and not dumb. Encyclopedia Brown was smart and
had fun, too. Alvin Fernald was an inventor- like I was - as was
Stuey. So they were almost all men or boys - a big drag, really- but
I grew up loving women anyway.
I sorta come from a matriarchy. I mean, there was my mother and
my grandmother on her side, and my older sister. There was my
Great Aunt Sara on my father's side. My mother had some friends
around her mother's age- Miss Ruby and Miss Beryl. They had a
sister Opal and nieces Kathryn and Mary Hester. There was Johnnie,
another friend of my mother's. She had a daughter,Janice, who was
my mother's best friend on through high school. They kept up until
Janice, a doctor, died in the early sixties.
In the neighborhood, the presence and influence of women
widened. (I never thought about this until a few years ago.) Next
door were Miss Somebody (I can't recall her name) and her
daughter Margaret. Down the street lived Miss Alley (or was it Ali? I
never wrote it down before) and her sister. Up the street lived
Fannie and Margaret. I put their names in that order because that's
justthe way they go, you know, but I really remember Margaret a lot
better than Fannie. Betty, up from Fannie and Margaret's, had two
daughters, Nancy and Kathy. Kathy was older but I always called
them Nancy and Kathy.
My mother had a good friend named Carolyn who had daughters
Bonnie and Connie and Mitzi. My middle name is after Carolyn.
Mitzi has my own mother's name as her middle name.
I had a Great Aunt Thelma on my mother's side. She lived in
Florida. We all just called her Thelma.
Oh, there were more in varying degrees of proximity- friends of
my mother's from high school she kept up with. We all called them
by their first names like they were our best friends, too.
This is not to say there were no men around- my father, my two
brothers and a few husbands of the above. But many of the women
mentioned here had no husbands, or they were gone for one reason
or another. And, except for my brothers, the men don't loom in my
mind, ya' know.
So these women are all early role models and the memory of them
is rich to this day. My earliest major role model, though, was my
mother.
I remember that she always knew where things were when I
couldn't find them. I thought she was a genius. Oh, and in the
mornings she was so beautiful with her pretty hair kind of puffed up
and her lipstick on.
She was always working on projects. I especially remember the
easel she bought and we all started painting landscapes and such. She
joined in on the antiquing craze (she has since recanted support of
that movement) and was always planting a few flowers or herbs.
Once a month she would sit down at the desk and pay the billsalways a good money manager. As far as I can recall, she always
worked- in an office- though before I came along I know she had
times when she didn't.
On a final note, I must mention that she always seemed to like the
things I did back then - from climbing trees and making tree houses
to shaving the hair off my doll's head to playing football to liking the
Beatles (she loved them, too) to playing the guitar.
Speaking of guitars, my father got me my first one. Everything else
is water under the bridge.
6 HERLAND VOICE, MARCH 1992
Somewhere in my childhood, my sister began to emerge as the one
I went to with questions. She was sort of a fringe hippie and I
listened to the same music she did for the most part. From her I
picked up on Jackson Browne, Willis Alan Ramsey, Van
Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and, of course, the Beatles.
I've always seen her as a strong, independent girl and woman.
She has always accepted me for who I am, even when that was not
the prettiest sight. When I compare the things I've done at certain
ages to the things she did at the same age, well, I'll just say that I've
always felt younger (I am but that's not quite the point here). She
remains a steadfast support.
Through the years, I suppose I've had some famous role
models ... Janis Joplin, Bob Dylon, Jackson Browne, Bonnie
Raitt, Meg Christian, Florence Joyner Griffith, and some of my
other favorite raves. Flo Jo borders on being a hero, but what do
we really know about those people anyway? I think I get more out
of people I can see. in my daily life- and in their daily lives.
Now, I still have my mother-training to be a nurse at age
62 - as a role model, and my sister, after many years as an RN
getting a degree in philosophy and my older brother, the nicest
man I know and also a nurse. He graduated with a degree in
business the same year I got my own degree (last year). I seem to
be attracted to formal education lately .
On the local scene, I am blessed to view the tenacity and
courage of the likes of Pat Reaves , Jean Kelsey and Margaret Cox.
I often look to them to figure out what my next step should be in
the ongoing struggle of equality for women.
Basically, I don't want to be like anybody else but there are
times I need the guidanc of others so I can become more like
whoever it is that I am. Watching others accept themselves in their
own lives helps me accept myself in mine.
As for heroes, thanks to the strong women and unsung lesbians
who have gone before such as Rita Mae Brown and other lesser
knowns, the path has been paved so that a hero such as Idgie
Threadgoode can carry me throught this year at least. And, by the
way - ain't we having' a good time!
•
HERO?
by Michelle Klukas
Hero? I had not given much thought to who my hero was until I
was asked to write about one. As a child I did not have a hero, or at
least none that I knew of consciously. As I have grown older, I have
admired many women who have dared to live their lives as they
choose and not as society dictated as proper. These women are
neither famous nor in the public eye. Rather, they are women I have
met and some I have only heard about from others. I also admire
women who stand up and fight for their rights as women. I would
like to thank those women for making my life easier to live
today.
•
"It's wonderful to learn 'I am not alone,' The next step is
difference-do not let the differences pull you apart. Use
them- that is empowerment."
-Audre Lorde
GRANDMA AND THE REST
by Rhonda Smith
When I was young my family life was chaotic, incestuous, with no
boundaries and no sense of guidance. My mother was off in the
ozone most of the time, and my father virtually ignored us. But there
were several important female figures in my life, and even though
she was mostly unreachable, my mother is included in the list.
Mother was very creative, even in the dark ages when she was still
married to my father. She loved to do things with her hands and I've
carried that love on into my current life. She would work on
wonderful projects with us, from hand-painted Christmas eggs to
sewing clothes to making creatures out of pipe cleaners. Some of my
only happy memories in that house of my childhood were when we
would gather around the dining room table and "make things" with
Mother. She also had a deep love of music. We weren't even exposed
to any kind of music besides classical. She played and taught piano,
and I learned to play at an early age. I have a vague memory of
dancing like a ballerina to beautiful strains of . . . Mozart? Probably.
And that memory includes Mother watching in delight.
My oldest sister, Vicki, who was the oldest child and very
responsible, made a great impression on me. She was extremely
bright and very inventive. My fondest recollection is of her
snuggling with us at night and telling these marvelous stories that she
would make up right on the spot. She was my hero and could do
nothing wrong. In my adult life she confessed to me that she didn't
like me very much as a child. She was constantly trying to keep the
kids on an even keel so that Daddy wouldn't "blow." We never
knew when he would lose it and come after one or all of us kids for
some real or imagined transgression. And I was the one in the family
that was always pushing everyone's buttons, agitating, stirring things
up ... I think I wanted to get Daddy to blow and get it over with. I
couldn't stand the waiting.
When I was about 8 (?) Mother became friends with a woman
who I thought was the most wonderful person on earth. She was a
psychiatrist (important job!), and had wild behavior and outrageous
ideas. We would go to visit her and her three daughters and do
things like play naked in the back yard while the adults sat around
and talked and it was ok! It was a marvelously freeing liaison, both
for us children and for my mother. And this woman (Ginny) was
very loving to us, and would listen to the things we had to say. What a
revelation, to find out that what I had to say could actually be
considered important. I loved her.
Perhaps the most important woman in my life was my grandmother. From very early childhood on, I would get to spend chunks
of time in Kansas with my grandparents, often an entire summer.
They were very strict with me, but that very strictness was a haven.
In that house I always knew what the rules were and what the
consequences would be if I broke them. Punishment was swift,
conscious, and (perhaps most importantly) finite. I knew where I
stood at all times, and knew what my boundaries were. I guess my
grandma was plump (they say she was fat), but all I knew was that
sitting in her lap was the safest, softest, "wonderfullest" place I
could imagine, in stark contrast to my mother's illusive, bony,
angular frame that never seemed to hold still long enough to make a
lap.
My grandmother also provided me with the guidance that I lacked
in my home life. She told me the difference between right and
wrong, taught me how to share, to have respect for people's
property, how to listen, and that cheating and lying only hurt me.
I'm grateful for her influence, even including taking me to the
Methodist Church and to Bible school. I think that also played an
important role in combatting the complete chaos of my upbringing.
No t everything about G randma was perfect, though. She was
pretty stiff about how little girls should act and dress. She wanted me
to wear dresses when I visited, told me to "act ladylike,' ' and she
tried to discourage me from spending too much time with my
grandpa down at his furniture store, which of course was the place I
wanted to be. I loved to help Grandpa build and fix things. But in
retrospect, I think Grandma took secret delight in my tomboyishness and refusal to blend in with society. I've heard stories about
how she used to climb trees and play baseball with the boys as a
child.
There is one more female character I'd like to mention. She was
two years older than me and I thought she was the best. She had her
own horse, lived on a ranch, rode like a hellion and wasn't scared of
rattlesnakes. I loved her because she was like me. We were a wild
pair. And she didn't like dolls! I think of all my friends growing up, she
helped me see that I wasn't the only one who rebelled against the
social constraints of being a girl.
•
SERAPH I NA, BRIGHT STAR
by Deborah Fox
During my 5th, 6th and 7th grades I went to boarding school. My
mother, a single mother, was having a difficult time in her life and
following the advice of her therapist she placed me in a Catholic
boarding school.
It was a very hard time for me. I was afraid, I missed home terribly
and I was not accepted by the other girls. But in 6th grade I had a
teacher who was to invoke hope, inspiration and a sense of security.
She was a nun and her name was Sister Seraphina.
Sister Seraphina was like a star, brilliant in the dark night. Her face
literally glowed with love and kindness. She was a living picture of
how I'd always pictured Angels. She was beautiful, her eyes had a
twinkle and her big smile was full of pearly white teeth. She was my
solace. I looked forward to school to be in her presence, a place of
immense comfort.
Sister Seraphina give a creative writing assignment one day. We
were to cut pictures we liked out of magazines and build a story
around them. I cut out pictures from Life magazine of a young girl
and boy on an isolated ocean beach. They were playfully walking
down on the beach where the waves rolled up to the crags and
boulders of the cliffs in Northern California. I created a love story
around these pictures, from a young and innocent pubescent point
of view.
Sister Seraphip.a liked my story so much that she came to my desk
to talk to me about getting it published. I was thrilled and beaming
with pride. She took my story that day so she could present it to her
superiors and request permission to seek out publishers for it. I
don't know who exactly she believed would publish my story,
perhaps a magazine, but when she told me she could not get
permission to try from her "superiors,'' I intuited an angry
frustration within her. I wondered if it was because it was a love story
about a girl and a boy, even talking to boys was forbidden at this
school, though Sister Seraphina had assured me it had nothing to do
with my story.
About a year later Sister Seraphina told me she was leaving the
school and the Order. I asked her why she did not want to be a nun
anymore and she told me she believed she could help more people
outside the Order. I was sad to know she'd be gone but I was also
happy for her, she would be free, and I was better and stronger from
having known her. What she gave me would never be lost.
•
HERLAND VOICE, MARCH 1992
7
BOOK REVIEW
PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 NW 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Faderman, Lillian. Odd Girls and Twilight
Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life in TwentiethCentury America. NY: Columbia University Press,
1991. (hardback, $29.95)
by S.8.
NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE:
Margaret Cox, Deborah Fox, Pat Reaves
CIRCULATION: 750
GENERAL INFO: (405) 521-9696 (leave message)
SUBSCRIPTIONS to the Her/and Voice are free upon request.
Not only have women been typically left out of American history
courses and literature, lesbians have been even more invisible. Odd
Girls and Twilight Lovers can be used to rectify this omission. It is an
extensive social history of American lesbians over the last 100 years,
ranging from Victorian "romantic friendships" to the "lesbian sex
wars" of the 1980's and Queer Nation. Faderman, a social constructionist, discusses the changes over time in how lesbians
perceived themselves, and the context in which they existed. Factors
of class, race, feminism, patriarchy, diversity, economics, sexuality,
the medical community, politics and so on are covered in some depth.
Although as a social constructionist Faderman believes that social
conditions are the primary factor allowing lesbians to "emerge as a
social entity," she does not denigrate or attempt to invalidate
essentialists who believe that lesbians are born that way and always
have been, although she does call them a minority. Her arguments for
social construction are very convincing.
Odd Girls is notable in that it combines depth of scholarship with
readability. It would be of use to students in a variety of disciplines,
yet is also fascinating to the casual reader. Along with books such as
The Original Coming-Out Stories, it would be invaluable to any woman
coming out. The footnotes are also a rich source of bibiographic
information for any reader. In summary, Faderman's book is factfilled, thought-provoking, affirmative, and a good read.
•
HERLAND BUILDING FUND
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LESBIAN ALLOWED TO
ADOPT PARTNER'S
BIOLOGICAL CHILD
ACLU .Case Breaks New Ground In New York
State Family Law
In the first ruling of its kind in New York State, a Surrogate Court
judge on Jan. 1, 1992 granted a lesbian's request to adopt her
partner's biological child. The ruling means that each woman is now
the child's legal parent, giving each legal rights and responsibilities
toward the six-year-old boy.
"This is a historic step in the development of family law in New
York State - a New York court has for the first time recognized a legal
family of a child and his two mothers," said William B. Rubenstein,
the Director of the American Civil Liberties Union's national Lesbian
and Gay Rights Project, which handled the adoption with ACLU
cooperating counsel James D. Marks and Betty Levinson.
·
The child, identified as Evan, and his mothers, identified as Diane
and Valerie, have lived together since his birth. (Under long-standing
family law procedures, the parties to an adoption are kept anonymous
to preserve the family's privacy.) The women-a pediatrician and a
developmental psychiatrist-have had a committed, loving relationship for 14 years.
In her decision, Surrogate Court Judge Eve Preminger recognized
the depth of the relationship between the child and both women. She
concluded that Evan was clearly best served by having two legal parents. "There is no reason in law, logic or social philosophy to obstruct
such a favorable situation," Surrogate Preminger wrote.
"It seems clear that the proposed adoption is in Evan's best interest, " she wrote. " He is part of a family unit that has been functioning
successfully for the past six years. The adoption would bring no
change or trauma to his daily life; it would serve only to provide him
with important legal rights which he does not presently possess."
Marks, a solo practitioner in Ma~hattan who also led for the
ACLU the recent negotiations that resulted in Montefiore Medical
Center establishing a domestic partner benefits policy, said that Judge
Preminger's emphatic decision "recognizes the reality of gay and lesbian family life."
" In practice, if not the law, these two women have both been
Evan's parents since birth," he said. "They have shared the joy and
the responsibility of parenting and Evan has been nurtured by each
mother's love. It is extremely gratifying to have the courts recognize
this."
The mothers, in a joint statement, said they were thrilled with the
ruling. "We have been a family throughout all of Evan's life and we
are relieved that the court has formalized Evan's relationship with
both of us," they said.
While today's decision is the first of its kind in New York State,
courts around the country have been granting what are called
"second-parent adoptions" for several years. More than 200 such
adoptions have been granted in 10 different counties in California.
Second-parent adoptions have also been granted in Washington,
D.C., Oregon, Washington State and Alaska.
"Today's decision will help ensure that Evan and his family are
treated just like other two-parent families," said Ruth E. Harlow,
Staff Counsel to the ACLU Lesbian and Gay Rights Project. "New
York has joined these other enlightened states in legally protecting
strong families and we hope that many lesbian and gay couples
throughout New York State will now use second-parent adoption to
create legal relationships between themselves and their children." •
THE THERAPY SISTERS
IN CONCERT
Don•t miss these wacky women!
AT THE PORTHOLE
TWO SHOWS: 8:00 & 11 :OO
COST: $4 AT THE DOOR
SATURDAY. MARCH "l
HERLAND NEEDS
YOUR JUNK!
"One woman's garbage is another woman's treasure." Herland needs your potential treasures for our
booth at the World's Largest Garage Sale. You can
drop off donated items at Herlan:d or leave a message
at Herland (521-9696) and we can make arrngements
to pick up your "treasures."
•
HERLAND VOICE, MARCH 1992 9
~~-----------------------~
LESBIAN ONLY THERAPY GROUP. Wednesday evenings.
Call Jo Soske. M.Ed/MHR/CAC at 364-5708 ....
REGISTER NOW for the HERLAND SPRING RETREAT!.
It's sure to be the best one ever! ... .
DON'T MISS THE THERAPY SISTERS, Saturday, March 7 at
the Porthole. TWO SHOWS: 8:00 p.m. & 11 p.m. These women are
very entertaining ....
The JUNE ISSUE of the Voice will observe the 10th anniversary of
the ERA Countdown Campaign. We'd like to have your reminiscences and reflections about the ERA campaign and how it has impacted
your life. These can be in the form of photos, journals, short articles, .
letters, etc. We also would like articles about the impact of the ERA
campaign on women in the U.S. and the ongoing campaign for
constitutional protection of the rights of women ....
HERLAND NEEDS YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS FOR
"WORLD'S LARGEST GARAGE SALE" at the Fairgrounds on
April 4, 1992. Do your spring cleaning and make a contribution to
Herland. Leave a message for Laura at Herland, 521-9696 if you need
items picked up or want to volunteer to help with the sale ....
If you are lucky enough to be getting a REFUND on your
Oklahoma income taxes don't forget to share a little through the
Indigent Health Care Fund by checking line 55 (or line 18 on the
short form). The Indigent Health Care Fund goes to provide health
care for persons who have no insurance or ability to pay for care ....
MARCH 20 • 22, 1992. ECOLOGICAL FEMINISM CONFERENCE in Ames, Iowa. Speakers include Margot Adler on Ecofeminism Spirituality; Pat Boddy, Videographer; Kristin Cashman;
Elizabeth Dodson Gray; Judith Plant; Andrea Smith; Karen Waren
and Danielle Wirth. Call 5151294-1017 for registration materials, or
515/242-6491 for more info ....
DON'T FORGET TO VOTE· MARCH 10, 1992 • Presiden·
tial Primary and State Question 640 ....
THE OKLAHOMA SIGN THEATER IN PERFORMANCE:
OST presents an original play March 13 & 14, 8:00 p.m., at OSU
Tech, 1000 N. Portland. The play will be voiced also so that the
hearing minority in the audience will know what's going on .. . .
Cleveland County NOW still needs volunteers for clinic
defense teams. Call 794-6884 for information.
Hurricane Alice, a feminist quarterly, is seeking essays, reviews,
poems, short stories, or personal experiences on the theme "Misogyny: Current Reflections." The editors hope to publish a diversity
of perspective and invention. Submissions of 3,000 words or less
must be submitted by February 15 to: Hurricane Alice, 207 Lind
Hall, 207 Church St., S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455. The deadline
for compositions fonhe summer open theme issues is April 15 ....
The Herland DISCUSSION GROUP FOR MARCH will focus
on women's history with a showing of the video "One Fine Day" and
discussion of the role famous and not-so-famous women have had
shaping our lives ....
Christy Marie Camp is looking for help OBTAINING CLEMEN CY for herself and other battered women who are serving time
for killing their abusers. She is working with a group called Convicted
Women against Abuse backed by attorney, Gloria Allred. They are
circulating petitions asking California Governor Wilson to reduce
their sentences or release them. She can be reached at Dept. HP,
32687 Latham B #323, Frontera, CA 91720. While you are at it,
write Governor David Walters, State Capitol, Oklahoma City, OK
and encourage him to consider clemency for Oklahoma women who
are serving time for fighting back against abuse ....
Planning for the 1992 Oklahoma GAY AND LESBIAN
PRIDE PARADE has begun. If you'd like to be a part of the parade
preparations, attend the next meeting. The P!ide network meets the
first Monday of each month at 7 p.m. at Oasis ....
I am interested in writing future articles on SEXUAL HARASSMENT. This will not be limited to only harassment at the work place.
Anonymity will be preserved if desired. Address letters to CC NOW,
P.O. Box 1042, Norman, OK 73070, Attn: Nancy, Newsletter
Committee .....
DO YOU HAVE A BUTTON-MAKING MACHINE that
doesn't belong to you? ls it NOW's? Someone borrowed NOW's
machine a long time ago and has probably forgotten about it as
completely as the NOW folk have. If you have it, they sure would like
to have it back. You can leave a message at Herland, 521-9696, or
drop by and leave the machine there. Thanks.
HERLAND SPRING RETREAT PRE-REGISTRATION GUIDELINES
Single Person's
Annual Income
Retreat Preregistration fee
under $ 6,500
$ 6,500-$13,250
$13,250-$19,500
over $19,500
$15
$25
$35
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Household Annual Income
(2 or more persons)
under $13,300
$13,300-$18,000
$18,000-$26,000
over $26,000
Please choose the registration fee most appropriate for you based on these suggested income
guidelines. Complete and return the preregistration form to Herland, 2312 N.W. 39th,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
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ADDRESS: ~----------------------------------
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HER LAND
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ft\/\RCH
Equality of Rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged
by the United States or by any State on acco~nt of sex.
Silent Vigil for peace in Central America.
Sunday
Monday
On the steps of the Federal Building, NW 4th & Robinson, OKC; each Wednesday at Hoon.
3
2
4
fe~llinisl..
HISTORY
i'IONTH
sealed as tsl
woman Rev
in C:.onpress
1917
g
8
6
·.Jeanelle
Rankin,
pacifist &
~I OMEN'S
11
10
Start
patherinp
eood stuff
for Herland's
16
ANN
Hl!NNER
t9t·3
garage sale!
17
18
Herland
Discussion
Heroes.
Sheroes,
6. Role Models
Board
All
~od
day lo
take your
2'.3
24
PEGGY
JOHNSON
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29
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19
20
26
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Student.Union
Rill. 413, 7 Pill
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Norman Public
Library
"
THE THERAPY
SISTERS. al.
the Porthole,
Al 8 & ti; $4.
14 Oklahoma
Si€1n Theater
OSU Tech at B
cc
BANISH
MISFORTUNE
HotelBohemia
9pm, $5.00
CoDA, 7 pm
21
MARY
.REYNOLDS
al
P.O.E.T.S
in Norlllan
8 - tt pm
PEGGY
JOHNSON
at POETS
8 - 11
CM
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"
2liss
BROl..iN I
TO YOU ..J
at.
THE EARTH
in OKC
7:-30 p.m.
ti
C:.oDA, 7 p.m.
CM
sale poodies
Mi
Cesar
Chavez.
b. 1927
CM
M>
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BERLAND GIFT SHOP
The Place to Shop
for Jewelry, Pottery, 'l'-shirts,
Stationery, Bird Houses & Feeders,
Buttons, Postcards, '.l'oys and More!
And of course, as alwaya, we're
the place for great books and music.
28
MARY
REYNOLDS
&.
PEGGY
JOHNSON
Hotel Bohemia
9 pm, $3.00
Mi
M
CM
CM
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CM
~~,~~~~i~H~~HHHH-M
HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES INC
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1
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ti
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Last Weekend
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PEGGY
. JOHNSON
TIM BRITTON
(Irish Music:.)
at
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al Stillwater
items to
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a c;.Jean house
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p.tll.
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25
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at the
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·)?
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or SWING}.
al
ti"
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in Norman
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&
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