HerlandVoice-1990-01-v7-no01_ocr.pdf
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do~HERLAND ~
ICE
JANUARY, 1990
NOTICE TO OUR
READING PUBLIC:
DOES SEXISM
AFFECT ME?
How are the murders of 14 women students in Montreal and a stranger making
sexual advances to me alike? What does it
mean that engineering students will be the
highest paid college graduates in 1990
while home economic majors will be the
lowest paid graduates?
Herland will provide the opportunity to
explore issues like these beginning in January. A Consciousness Raising (CR) group
for women is forming with an introductory meeting on Wednesday, Jan 24 from
7 to 9 p.m. at Herland.
CR groups provide an opportunity to
look at the commonalities in women's
lives. They serve to increase our awareness
of oppression in society and to facilitate
taking action for positive change. The
group brings women of differing backgrounds together to discuss their personal
experiences. Together the group looks at
the common patterns of experience and
questions the social implications of these
experiences. From our shared experience
we build an understanding of how sexism
in society affects all women.
The basic tenet of CR is that "the personal is the political." Political in this context refers to the distribution of power in
society. My experience as an individual is a
part of the web of relationships of society.
My life and the events which shape it are
shaped by the distribution of power in
society-who has it, how it is used, and
how society is managed.
The CR group does not stop with discussion. It is not enough to develop understanding of how women are oppressed in
our society. The next step is working to
end oppression. The CR process includes
taking action to work for change.
For more information, call 521-9696. •
VOLUME 7 NUMBER l
•
The Herland Voice is taking a break
for the month of February and will
begin publishing again with a Feb.I
March combination issue to be in your
mailboxes the fourth week ofFebruary.
This time extension will allow Herland
Voice staff to make a transition to the
new submission date of the 5th of
each month.
For those of you who want to submit
articles for publication in the Herland
Voice, please plan to have your typewritten, double-spaced pages of copy
to the newsletter editor by the 5th of
each month for publication in the next
month's newsletter. Send or bring submissions to Herland Voice, 2312 N.W.
39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
HERLAND CODA MEETING
TIME CHANGED
Beginning January 12, Herland's Codependents Anonymous will meet on
Friday nights at 6:30 p.m. Due to scheduling problems the CODA group will no
longer meet on Tuesdays at 7:30.
Want to share your experiences and
work on improving your relationships
with others and yourself? Then come
share with wimmin like yourself on Fridays at 6:30 at Herland.
HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES
•
ANNE WILSON SCHAEF
COMING TO OKC
Internationally known teacher, facilitator, writer, philosopher, feminist, and
former psychotherapist Anne Wilson
Schaef will deliver lectures at Oklahoma
City University, the evening of]anuary 30,
and the morning and afternoon of January
31 . Cost for attendance will be $5 per
person. More information will be released
in next month's OPS News.
Wilson Schaef is author of Women's
Reality: An Emerging Female System in a
White Male Society, Co-Dependence: Misunderstood, Mistreated, The Addictive Organization, and Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the "Love" Addictions. She has
appeared on numerous television and
radio shows and has lectured around the
world. Her engagements this year alone
have taken her to West Germany, Italy,
Canada, Austria, New Zealand, and the
USSR, as well as throughout the U.S.
Wilson Schaef has specialized in working with the addictive process as it is evidenced in a variety of systems, from individuals, to families, organizations, and
entire human systems. She has developed
systems for helping people get beyond
their addictive behaviors.
Wilson Schaef's hopeful message is that
we, as individuals, groups, organizations,
even as nations, can embark on a path of
healing and recovery toward healthy,
effective living and relating.
Wilson Schaef's Oklahoma City visit is
sponsored by Oklahoma City University
and the Indian Youth Project of Neighborhood Services Organization.
-•
from Oklahoma Peace Strategy, Dec. 89
2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112
•
(405) 521-9696
HSR-CALENDAR OF
EVENTS-JANUARY
Jan. 10 - AIDS coalition meeting, Southeast Health Center, 7:30 p.m.
Jan. 11 - Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-step meeting {women's group),
Resource Center, 8 - 9 p.m.
Jan. 12 • Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource
Center, 6:30 p.m.
Jan. 18 • Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-step meeting (women's group),
Resource Center, 8 - 9 p.m.
Jan. 19 - Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource Center, 6:30 p.m.
Jan. 20 • NOW state council meeting,
noon, location to be announced.
Jan. 21 - HSR board meeting, Resource
Center, 3 p.m.
Jan. 21 ·Open Mike! DJ's Club, 8 to midnight. Pay ($1) or play. Don't miss it.
Jan. 24 • Consciousness Raising group
for women, Resource Center, 7 - 9
p.m.
Jan. 25 • Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-step meeting {women's group),
Resource Center, 8 - 9 p.m.
Jan. 26 - Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource Center, 6:30 p.m.
EDITORIAL POLICY!
The HERLAND VOICE is offered as an
open forum for community discourse. Materials
printed herein reflect the beliefs and opinions of
the authors of the articles or letters, and not
necessarily those of the Newsletter or the
Herland Board.
Letters to the editor must be signed by the
writer with full name. Letters will not be
printed with name unless writer requests it.
Editing may be necessary for space or to avoid
obscenity, libel, or invasion of privacy, but ideas
will not be altered. Publication of all materials
is at the discretion of the editors. Anyone
having a complaint about the content of this
newsletter may contact the editors at 521-9696.
2
HSR, JANUARY, 1990
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PLEASE NOTE: There will be a minimal
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advertising.
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donation of $12 allows me use of the Herland Library and
a 10% discount on store purchases over the next 12
months. (My $12 is enclosed.)
D YES! I want to help Herland with a donation to the
New Building Fund.
D $15
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Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
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Oklahoma City, OK 73112
PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 NW 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
EXECUTIVE EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger
NATIONAL NEWS EDITOR:
Karen Lewis
The Herland board meetings will continue to meet
every third Sunday of the
month. The time has changed
from 4:30 to 3:00 p.m.
CLASSIFIED ADS:
first 10 words ............... $2.50
each additional word .......... $ .10
ID YES! I want to be a Friend of Herland. My minimum
Feb. 1 - Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-step meeting (women's group),
Resource Center, 8 - 9 p.m.
BOARD MEETING
TIME CHANGE
$ 15.00
$ 35.00
$ 60.00
$100.00
Leave message for Ginger at HSR,
(521-WMYN) to place an ad.
Jan. 31 • Consciousness Raising group,
Resource Center, 8 - 9 p.m.
Feb. 2 • Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource Center, 6:30 p.m.
DISPLAY ADS:
business card or 1I 10 page ...
1/4 page ......•. ...... ..
/2 page .. .. . ... . .. . .. . . .
full page ......... . . ...•.
CITY NEWS EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger
TYPESETIING: Rhonda S.
CIRCULATION: 700
GENERAL INFO: (405) 521-9696
ADVERTISING: 521-9696
DEADLINE on all advertising and submissions is
the 15th of each month.
SUBSCRIPTIONS to the HERLAND VOICE are
free upon request.
TWO MORE SENATORS
COSPONSOR HATE
CRIMES ACT
Washington, D.C. December 7, 1989-Senators Jim Sasser (D-TN) and Sam Nunn
(D-GA) this week signed on as cosponsors
of the Federal Hate Crites Statistics Act,
bringing the total number of Senate supporters to 56.
The National Gay and Lesbian Task
Force (NGLTF), is optimistic the bill can
pass during the lOlst Congress. Pending
attempts by Senator Jesse Helms to delete
gays from the bill can be defeated.
The House of Representatives passed
the bill last June 2 7 by a vote of 368 to 4 7.
Last year, the bill was passed by the House
but killed in the Senate during a lastminute move by Helms.
The Hate Crimes Statistics Act directs
the U.S. Department ofJustice to compile
and publish data on crimes that manifest
prejudice based on race, religion, sexual
orientation or ethnicity. Gay and lesbian
activists see the bill as an important first
step by the federal government in stemming
the alarming increase of "gay bashing."
NGLTF is now pressuring Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell to set a firm
date to move the bill as early as possible in
1990. Advocates for the legislation have
until the end of the lOlst Congress, scheduled to adjourn in the fourth quarter of
1990, to pass the bill under the current list
of cosponsors.
•
•
Calling All Music-Lovers!
OPEN MIKE TO OPEN 1990 COFFEEHOUSE SERIES
JANUARY 21, 8:00 p.m. to MIDNIGHT
DJ'S CLUB
Call it a shindig, call it a hootenanny, call it a jam session: Herland is calling all musicians to a pay
or play open mike night on Sunday, January 21st from 8 to midnight at DJ's Club. The purpose of
the event is to help the women musicians of this community get to know one another and one
another's work, while exposing their talents to music fans at the same time.
Headlining the night will be local stalwarts Donna DeSalvo, Peggy Johnson and Mary Reynolds.
All women musicians are invited to come play and if you would like to play and have not been
contacted, please give Mary Reynolds a call at 528~0020 to reserve a spot, or just show up that
night - everyone will be worked into the schedule.
Admission to the event is a dollar if you don't play, and free if you do. Open mike promises to be
a fun night for musicians and fans alike, and will help get women's culture off to a good start here
in OKC for the nineties .
Oklahoma City University & The NSO Indian Youth Project
Present the Spring 1990 C.G. Jung Lectures
Anne Wilson Schaef, PhD
speaking on
The Addictive Process and Co-Dependence
January 30 & 31
Best Selling Author of:
Escape from Intimacy, the Pseudo-relationship addictions:
Sex, Romance and Relationship Addictions
The Addictive Organization, (co-Authored with Diane Fassel, PhD.)
When Society Becomes an Addict
Co-Dependence: Misunderstood- Mistreated
Women's Reality
Tuesday, January 30
7:30 .......... Addictive Process and Co-Dependence
Wednesday, January 31 10:00 .......... Co-Dependence and the Helping Professions:
Church, Social Work, Healthcare, Mental Health
2:00 .......... Recovery and Transformation
Angie Smith Chapel on the campus of Oklahoma City University
Praise for Anne Wilson Schaefs books:
$5.00 Admission
Free with student I.D.
To Register, call 405-521-5011.
"The author of Women's Reality goes one step further in interpreting white male culture as an addictive culture. Taking into account substances like
alcohol, nicotine, and other drugs, as well as behaviors like eating, spending, and sex, Schaer looks at addictions as part of an all-encompassing
societal matrix, and shows us how to think and act more freely." -Ms.
Excerpts from Anne Wilson Schaefs books:
"We live in a system that is terribly threatened by intimacy. Although it constantly talks about intimacy and touts the illusion of intimacy, much of
what we learn about intimacy from the media and from our institutions is really a form of addiction, whether it be sex addiction, romance addiction,
or relationship addiction. We know that intimacy is important. We do the things that we have been taught will facilitate intimacy and, yet, we have a
strange, empty feeling that something is missing." Schaef, Escape from Intimacy
"The Society in which we live needs addictions, and its very essence fosters addictions. It fosters addictions because the best-adjusted person in the
society is the person who is not dead and not alive, just numb, a zombie. When you are fully alive, you are constantly saying no to many of the
processes of the society: the racism, the polluted environment, the nuclear threat, the arms race, drinking unsafe water, and eating carcinogenic foods.
Thus, it is in the interests of the society to promote those things that 'take the edge off,' get us busy with our 'fixes,' and keep us slightly 'numbed
out' and zombielike. Consequently, the society itself not only encourages adddictions, it functions as an addict." Schaer and Fassel, pp.59-60, The
Addictive Organization
"The Addictive System encourages addictions to keep people so far away from their feelings and awareness that they cannot challenge the system ...
(Fortunately), more and more people whose lives are being destroyed by addictions are starting to seek help. They are aligning themselves with
recovery groups and starting to recover. The further along they get in their recovery, the less able they are to support and participate in the Addictive
System.
In other words, in many ways that system contains within itself the seeds of its own destruction. This is the great cosmic joke and, to me, a hopeful
sign." Schaef, p. 145, When Society Becomes an Addict
(Paid Advertisement)
NLC INTERIM TASK
COMMITTEE MEETS IN
ATLANTA
Atlanta, GA - The interim task committee for the National Lesbian Conference met October 14 and 15 to further
define the membership of the steering
committee that will guide the National
Lesbian Conference (NLC) planning process.
The NLC will be held in Atlanta April
24-28, 1991. Tht> fifty states plus the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, the Virgin
Islands and British Columbia in Canada
have been divided into ten regions. Each
region shall have four planning members
on the steering committee. Regions were
created by considering existing networks,
lesbian population and travel distances.
An immediate fundraising assignment for
the upcoming conference is for each to
raise and send $500 to the National Office
(at P.O. Box 3057, Albany, New York
12203).
The interim task committee also developed a list of national organizations to
approach for the ten steering committee
seats reserved for them.
Previous national planning meetings in
Durham, North Carolina and Portland,
Oregon had specified that 50% of the
steering committee should be lesbians of
color and 20% should be lesbians with
disabilities. Ten seats have been allocated
for constituencies: three planners, to include at least one lesbian of color, will be
senior lesbians (defined by that caucus as
lesbians over the age of fifty who are antiageism activists); the remaining seven seats
will be decided at the next interim task
meeting, to be held in Atlanta the first
weekend in February.
Regional planners will be chosen at
regional meetings which are being organized before the next large national planning
meeting scheduled for April 28 & 29 in
Kansas City, MO. The first steering committee session is to be held just prior to the
national meeting on Friday, April 2 7, 1990
in Kansas City.
For more information about the conference or to get involved, contact Michelle
Crone with the national office at (518)
463-1051.
•
HRCF PLANS
NATIONAL FAMILY
REGISTRY
Washington, D.C. - In the wake of the
failure ·of San Francisco's domestic partnership law on election day, the Human
Rights Campaign Fund (HRCF) has decided to develop a nationwide family registry program to build grass roots support
for the concept oflesbian and gay families.
HRCF will maintain the record of gay
and lesbian families who wish to be so
identified.
"It is clear that the general public has
not yet moved to the point where it is
willing to affirm lesbian and gay families,''
HRCF executive director Tim Mcfeely
commented. "What we can do with the
Registry is educate the public so that they
will understand that many lesbians and
gays have families which are as important
to us as the families of heterosexuals are to
them."
Plans for the organization of the Registry are currently underway. Lesbians and
gays who would like to participate should
contact Kathleen Stoll at HRCF in Washington, (202) 628-4160. HRCF hopes to
launch the National Family Registry on
February 14, 1990
•
AIDS RESEARCH
SOLICITS PARTICIPANTS
Bethesda, MD- The National Institutes of
Health are asking for people testing positive for HIV and persons with AIDS to
participate in a variety of research studies
they are conducting.
Participants are needed for a number of
studies currently in progress. Of special
urgency are recruits for studies involving
AZT and interferon which have both been
in the news recently because of remarkable
new developments. After the initial screening visit, all travel costs and medical care
associated with these studies are free.
A complete list of NIH studies is posted
on the bulletin board at the Herland
Resource Center, 2312 N.W. 39th, OKC.
For more information you may contact:
Dianne Lee at 301-496-7196 or Debbie
Ogata-Arakaki or Barbara Baird at301-4969565, or write Henry Masur, M.D., Chief,
Critical Care Medicine, National Institutes
of Health, Bethesda, M.D. 20892
•
MASS. ATTORNEY
GENERAL RULES
REFERENDUM
UNCONSTITUTIONAL
Supporters of the Massachusetts Gay
Rights Law, which was signed on November 15 by Governor Dukakis, claimed a
major victory when Attorney General
James Shannon ruled that the attempt to
place the statute on the ballot for repeal in
1990 was unconstitional. Opponents of
the law had hoped to rescind it by placing
it before voters in the coming election.
The Massachusetts Gay and Lesbian
Civil Rights Bill was first filed in 197 3 and
was finally signed into law several weeks
ago after a contentious seventeen-year battle. Popular support has grown dramatically in the last several years, during which
time the struggle to enact the law has
become one of the state's major news
stories. The most recent poll, conducted
by KRC Research (Cambridge) for the
Boston Globe revealed 70% of Massachusetts voters support the law, while only 21
favor repeal.
•
SCHOLARSHIPS
AVAILABLE FOR
WOMEN
If any of you have given thought to going
back to school and can't seem to get your
money tree to grow anything but root rot,
here is something you might be interested
in.
Clairol offers financial aid to women
over 30 who are returning to school in
order to achieve career goals. You can go
part time or full time for either academic
degree work (with the exception of PhD or
EdD) or vocational training. The money
alotted may be used for education-related
expenses such as child care, transportation, books or tuition and fees.
Clairol awards a total of $50,000 in
scholarships to approximately 100 women
each year. Individual awards average between $750-$1,000.
For more information or for a scholarship application, write to: The Clairol
Scholarship Program, c/o Business & Professional Women's Foundation, 2012
Massachusetts Ave., N.W., Washington,
D.C., 20036, (202) 293-1200. Applications for fall term must be postmarked by
April 15; for spring term, September 15. •
HSR, JANUARY, 1990
3
GAYS AND LESBIANS
IN MILITARY NEED
SUPPORT
Following the October 18 release of
"Nonconforming Sexual Orientations and
Military Suitability," an internal Department of Defense (DoD) report which
openly criticizes the DoD policy of excluding and discharging gay men and lesbians
from the Armed Forces, the Pentagon is
extremely vulnurable to political pressure
to rescind its homophobic and dangerous
policy.
If you wish, you can help gay men and
lesbians in the armed forces by contacting
your congressional representatives today.
Your senators and representatives need
to hear from constitutents that the Pentagon must implement all recommendations
of the PERSEREC report, authored by
Theodore Sarbin and Kenneth Karols. The
authors state, "Under prevailing social
conditions, a public admission of homosexuality carries less stigma than in earlier
times, and is no legal bar to most employment ... Our studied conclusion is that
the military services will soon be asked by
the courts or the Congress to reexamine
their policies and practices regarding
recruitment and retention of men and
women whose sexual interests deviate
from the customary."
The PERSEREC report invites Congressional intervention to drag the Pentagon
kicking and screaming into the 1990's. You
can urge your Congressional representatives to work for rescision of the DoD
policy of exclusion and discharge. This
policy, which declares that "homosexuality is incompatible with military service," was established in 1943 and has
accounted for the early discharges -many
of them under less than honorable conditions-of 100,000 men and women.
Additionally, a 1989 Gallup poll indicated
that 60% of respondents believed that gay
men and lesbians should be allowed to
•
serve in the Armed Forces.
NOW MOBILIZING TO
FIGHT ABORTION WAR
Washington, D .C. - The U .S. Supreme
Court has declared war on the women of
America!
In its July 3 decison in the case of Webscer v. Reproductive Health Services, the Court
turned a deaf ear to the majority of Americans who favor abortion rights and deli-
vered awesome powers into the hands of
politicians and state governments to decide
the future of women's lives.
And with its announced decision to hear
three more abortion cases this fall, this
frightening situation is likely to get far worse.
Right now, the women of America are
facing an unprecedented crisis. No longer
can we depend on the Court to protect our
fundamental rights ... nor can we depend
on Congress, with its anti-abortion majority in the House . . . and we certainly cannot
depend on state legislatures, where current
surveys show the majority will act to limit
or ban abortion rights.
By upholding a Missouri law that bars
the use of public money, medical personnel or facilities in performing abortions
and requiring doctors to conduct tests to
determine the viability of a fetus at least 20
weeks old, the Supreme Court's recent
Webster ruling opens wide the floodgates
to a series of repressive state measures
including parental notification, waiting
periods and mandatory counseling before
abortion.
This ruling also allows states to restrict
abortions at any stage of pregnancy including the first three months.
Justice Harry Blackmun, author of the
1973 Roe v. Wade decision guaranteeing
women the constitutional right to abortion, in his Webster dissent stated that this
ruling "implicitly invites every state legislature to ena,_ct more and more restrictive
abortion regulations in order to provoke
more and more test cases, in the hope that
sometime down the line' Roe v. Wade wil
be overturned. This case has laid the legal
groundwork to bury Roe v. Wade. With
three more abortion cases coming up next
term, the constitutional right to abortion
may be totally destroyed.
Molly Yard, president of NOW, says,
"We dare not underestimate the power of
the anti-abortion rights zealots, freshly
energized by the Supreme Court's decision
and encouraged by an anti-abortion rights
President praising the Court's ruling and
calling for a constitutional amendment
outlawing abortion."
In Louisiana, the legislature recently
voted to pass a resolution urging district
attorneys to enforce criminal laws restricting abortion that were on the books
before the 197 3 Roe v. Wade decision. The
Louisiana criminal law bans all abortions
and carries a penalty of up to 10 years in
prison for physicians who perform abortions in cases where a woman's life is not in
danger.
Says Yard, "a frightening trend is building and it's clear that anti-abortion activists will move in every state to so restrict
the availability of abortion that, in the end,
the right to abortion will be nearly nonexistent."
To fight this trend, the National Organization for Women (NOW) is organizing to
turn the tide of events. This organizing
includes introducing legislation requiring
states to accept financial responsibility for
any baby born to a woman deined an abortion because of that state's laws or regulations; placing abortion rights initiatives on
ballots in key states for the 1990 elections;
in states without ballot initiatives, working
immediately to pass legislation guaranteeing women the right to choose abortion,
and NOW grassroots activists will work to
defeat anti-abortion legislation; and in
every state making the abortion rights
issue the centerpiece of the 1990 elections.
As the Court hears arguments to further
restrict the availability of abortion in the
three cases they have agreed to consider in
their next term, women must mobilize to
say, "No! No more restrictions! Uphold
Roe v. Wade!"
Recent polls indicate that 64 percent of
America's voters-men and womenbelieve a woman has the right to an abortion. To join NOW's mobilization efforts
attend the next meeting of NOW at the
YWCA by calling 528-0400 for date and
time, or write to NOW, P.O . Box 7813,
Washington, D.C. 20077-1400.
•
ANTISODOMY LAW
PROTESTS PLANNED
IN ATLANTA
Atlanta, GA- Lesbian, gay and AIDS
activists from around the country will
converge here on January 8 and January 9,
1990 for two days of demonstrations
demanding repeal of antisodomy laws and
an expanded definition of AIDS.
"Because these laws effectively define all
lesbians and gay men as statutory felons,
they promote violence against gay people
and frighten everybody from HIV testing,
counseling, health care, and treatment,"
said Chip Rowan, action facilitator.
Georgia achieved international notoriety in 1986 when the U.S. Supreme Court
announced its decision in Hardwick v.
Bowers and upheld the state's power to
regulate private, adult, consensual 'sexual
behavior. The Hardwick case originated in
Atlanta in 1982 with the arrest of Michael
Continued on next page
4
HSR, JANUARY, 1990
Continued from previous page
Hardwick, who was having sex with a consenting adult male in the privacy of his
bedroom. In summer 1989, a heterosexual
man was released from a Georgia jail after
serving 18n months of a sentence for having consensual oral sex with his wife. His
conviction was overturned in September
when the court ruled that sodomy laws
would not be applied to heterosexual married persons, but homosexual sodomy
would remain a felony offense.
Sodomy laws have also been used as
justification to prevent AIDS educators
from distributing safer sex information
and condoms on the grounds that such
material condones "illegal" behavior.
"Sodomy law repeal is a life-saving measure," said Rowan.
On January 9, demonstrators will demand that the Centers for Disease Control
(CDC) expand the definition of AIDS
beyond its current and largely arbitrary
categories of "AIDS" and "AIDS Related
Complex" (ARC).
Many states extend social and medical
benefits to only people with CDC-defined
AIDS or ARC, excluding people with
other HIV-related illnesses. Clinical drug
trials, disability and insurance benefits,
and locally-subsidized housing all require a
CDC definition of AIDS or ARC for
eligibility.
While CDC says there are 100,000
people with AIDS, in New York City and
Washington, D.C. 35 percent of people
hospitalized with HIV-related disease did
not fit into the CDC's definitions.
Experts estimate that 1 million to 2 million people suffer from "HIV disease,"
which manifests in a variety of ways among
different groups.
"Because people with AIDS must fight a
variety of opportunistic infections, the
CDC is woefully negligent in not tracking
what these infections are and how often
they occur," said Maxine Wolfe, action
coordinator for the CDC demonstration. •
"There are those who believe the vast
multitudes of people cannot tolerate the
honest, open communication of feelings which in reality gives birth to the intimacy
we each crave. They avoid such honesty of
the self because, they say, it may hurt
someone. Thus rationalizing their lies into
nobility they betray their own souls, and
settle for superficial relationships."
Anonymous
SAFER SEX FOR GAY
AND BISEXUAL WOMEN
WOMEN AT RISK FOR HIV
• Women who share needles/works/rigs.
This is the greatest risk category
gay and bisexual women.
for
• Women who have had any sexual contact
with:
• men who have been actively gay or
bisexual since 1979.
• people who use/have used IV drugs.
• people who received blood products
prior to 1986.
• Women who received blood transfusions/blood products prior to 1986.
INTRAVENOUS (IV) DRUG USERS
• If you or your partner share needles/
works/rigs, you are at HIGH RISK for
infection. Please try to use your own
syringe. If that is not possible, know how
to FLUSH your syringe. Fill the syringe
with CLEAN WATER, then shoot the
water on the ground. Repeat.
• Please consider getting into a drug treatment program. Drug use may impair
your judgement and self-control abilites.
ORAL SEX
• Mouth to vagina/ clitoris contact ( cunnilingus) is of little risk to the woman
receiving stimulation. The person giving
stimulation is at risk because of contact
with blood and/or vaginal secretions
that may be infected. Risk is greatest
during a woman's period/menstruation.
• Bleeding gums or open cuts/sores in the
mouth and/or on the lips are a possible
transmission mode. You should avoid
brushing and flossing within one to three
hours before and after having oral sex.
If you must have "flawless" breath, then
use a mouthwash to avoid irritating your
gums.
• If you feel that there is a potential risk,
please use a DENTAL DAM or
STRONG PLASTIC WRAP. Using a
water-soluble lubricant containing NONOXYNOL 9 on the vagina side of the
protection increases sensitivity.
SEX TOYS/DILDOS/HAND-JOBS
• Since safer sex means avoiding contact
with blood and vaginal secretions, avoid
sharing your toys. If you must share,
make sure they are THOROUGHLY
CLEANED between each use. A condom on the toy makes clean-up easier.
Change the condom after each use.
• Cuts/ abrasions on the hands are a possible transmission mode. Use FINGER
COTS or LATEX GLOVES if there
will be contact with vaginal secretions
and/or blood.
BREAST MILK
• There are possible cases of transmission
from breast milk. The same precaution
guidelines for oral sex should be practiced concerning breast milk.
STEPS TO A HEALTHIER AND
SAFER SEX LIFE
BE IN CONTROL!!
• You MUST take responsibility for your
OWN body and health. Don't expect
anyone else to protect you or make those
necessary decisions for you.
• Alcohol and drug use may affect your
judegment and weaken your self-control.
Be extra cautious if you are using alcohol
and/or drugs.
• Stay in charge. Don't let anyone talk you
into things that you are not comfortable
doing. Know your personal boundaries
and stick with them.
BE SELECTIVE WHEN YOU
CHOOSE A SEX PARTNER!!
• Have sex only with a partner who supports your health concerns and makes
you feel comfortable and secure sexually.
• Limit the number of sex partners.
Remember that you are not only being
exposed to that one partner but also to
all of their past sex partners. They may
have been exposed to infections and
unknowingly pass them on to you.
TALK WITH YOUR PARTNER!!
• Make sex/health talks a natural part of
getting to know your partner.
• Ask about your partner's health status.
Find out about his/her past sexual
history. Ask questions about HIV antibody testing and status. You have the
responsibility to ask! And do not ASSUME that everyone will tell you the
truth.
• Ask about your partner's sexual needs
and expectations. He/she may want to
do things that you are not comfortable
with. It's better to know about it before
you get too involved.
Continued on next page
HSR, JANUARY, 1990
5
Continued from previous page
KNOW HOW TO PROTECT
YOURSELF!!
• A good rule of thumb is to ASSUME
that EVERY sex partner that you come
in contact with has some _kind of infection. It's not that you don't trust them,
but they could be infected and just don't
know it. Better to be safe now than sorry
later.
• Learn how to PROPERLY use a condom. When condoms are used properly
they are a very effective barrier against
infected body fluids. But some people
make mistakes just because they don't
know what correct usage is all about. If
you don't know how, then ASK someone to show you.
• Use only WATER-SOLUBLE lubricants
containing NON-OXYNOL 9. It is a
chemical that has been shown to inhibit
the virus in the test tube. Just some
added protection!
KEEP YOURSELF HEALTHY!!
•Regularly see a doctor that you TRUST
and be TOTALLY HONEST with about
your health concerns. Ask questions and
educate yourself.
Letters to the Editor
Dear Herland,
I also attended the November 12th "Mobilize For Women's Lives" rally at the State
Capitol Building. I too was taken aback, as
were Margaret and Pat (Dec. 1989, Herland
Voice) by the censoring of signs and the
number of men who spoke of their dreams for
their daughters. However, I believe there are
two issues here that need to be addressed: 1)
that we must stop the Anti-Choice legislation,
2) there is a difference between being a lesbian
and being a feminist.
There is a movement with the Anti-Choice
activists to not only stop abortion on demand,
but to introduce legislation that would make
all forms of birth control illegal, with abstinence being the only alternative. Another aim
is to stop research on artificial insemination.
You may ask, "What does this have to do with
me?" If condoms are one way of stopping the
spread of AIDS, then they would be considered
illegal. Whether you are a gay male, a straight
teenager, involved with a bi-sexual, or
a woman wanting to wait to have children, you
would not be able to practice "safe sex." Ifyou
are a lesbian and would like to have children
with your life mate,'' you would be prevented
because artificial insemination would become
unresearched and possibly hazardous. We
would not only lose the right to have an abortion, we would lose the right to reproduce and
practice sex as we desire.
·
The second issue is not all lesbians are feminists and not all feminists are lesbians. The
November 12th rally was an attempt to bring
all women together to stop the Anti-Choice
factions. Lesbians are a segment of this larger
movement. If this were a gay rally, feminists
would be the lesser represented group.
Because there is the very obvious threat of
losing rights to our bodies, we all (men and
women, gays and straights) must work together
to stop these people who would restrict our
lives. Don't lose sight of our goals because of
one incident. After we are assured of this victory, then we can go on to have equal representation in other public demonstrations. First we
are women, then we are feminist or lesbian.
11
• Follow Grandma's advice: eat three balanced meals daily, get a good night's
sleep, exercise regularly, and take your
vitamins.
• Feel good about yourself. Be proud and
happy. You are a wonderful human being
and you deserve a great life. Take care of
yourself!
WHERE CAN I TAKE THE AIDS
ANTIBODY TEST?
Certain specific AIDS antibodies
tests can help you find out whether the
AIDS antibodies are present in your system. Call your local health department
and ask where you can get an anonymous AIDS antibody test that will be as
specific as possible to your concerns.
Or, call 1-800-342-7514, a 24-hour
AIDS hotline, which can direct you to
your nearest anonymous testing site. •
Nancy D.
Dear Herland Voice,
On a recent "outing" with some friends, I
suggested that Herland Voice could use a
lighter touch (we enjoy the paper but some
6
HSR, JANUARY, 1990
humor thrown in with all the feminism would
be well appreciated j. Someone made the
remark that since I felt this way, I might well be
the one to do something about it! Me? Ha! I
don't even own a typewriter, much less a
readable sense of humor. But upon some quiet
reflection and opportune observations, I think,
why not?! After all, last month's issue did ask
for contributions . . .
My "significant other" and I in our fiveyear relationship have struggled through lots of
obstacles that ruin even the best of relationships. Family deaths, ex-husbands, ex-others,
child custody (ohhh-messy-messy), school,
job promotions and numerous other "family"
crises have occurred. (After two years we were
awarded the children! Another story, another
time.) These "crises" were handled fairly well
and I'm very proud to say we have come
through all of it. However, I have discovered
that it isn't the "big stuff" that damages
relationships, it is the small stuff. For example:
I'll never understand how she can spend
four to six hours going from Wal-Mart to the
grocery store when there are thirteen loads of
laundry to be done, but only one hour when
there is a good movie coming on . . .
For those of you who share clothes: it's okay
for her to wear my shirt, but if I wear hers, then
everyone will think she's wearing my shirt the
next time she puts it on!? Hmmmmm .. .
It's mandatory to have coffee in the
bathroom every morning. I forgot one morning
and she thought I was retaliating for some
unknown "sin" she had committed! Yet who
makes the damn stuff every day? Double
hmmmmm . . .
Isn't it amazing how simple it is to start
world war III just by moving an inanimate
object? I can put away a bread basket or move
the can opener four inches to the left or right of
its assigned spot and Japan has bombed Pearl
Harbor all over again .. .
When PMS hits her, I'm being irritable,
rude and crabby, and when it's my turn for ·
PMS, it's still me being irritable, rude and
crabby . . .
_
Last but not least, who (out of four people in
the same house) used up all of the ice cubes and
didn ' t refill the trays?!! To which you immediately hear two "not me" 'sand one "I didn't."
As I said before-it is the "small stuff" by
far.
P.S.
The members of the collective of Herland
Sister Resources would like to thank all of
you for your generous support during the
past year. We all hope you had a safe and
happy holiday, and that the new decade
brings with it peace, prosperity, love,
happiness, understanding and sistership ....
learning what it really takes to keep it
running, call HSR at 521-9696 or come to
a board meeting on the 3rd Sunday of the
month at 3:00 p.m. at the resource center.
The meetings are fun and productive, and
being on the board looks great on a
resume! ... .
just a reminder that there are plenty of new
items in stock at the Resource Center.
Even though the holidays are over, there
are still those special birthdays and anniversaries throughout the year to consider.
And we have many new titles coming this
month, a great proportion of which are
· lesbian novels ....
Mary Daly will be giving a speech titled
"Recalling the Elemental Powers of
Women" at OU on January 25 at 7:30
p.m. in Dale Hall, Room 200. There will
be a reception and booksigning following
the speech on the 9th floor of Dale Hall. A
panel discussion will be held on the 26th at
2 p.m. For more information, call the
Women's Studies Office at 325-3481 ... .
Palmira Campos asked me to let all of you
know that FM radio station KTNT in
Edmond (97 .7 on your radio dial) is
playing cuts from the Winds tape. Now
that the holidays are over and the carols
are back on the shelf for another year, why
not give them a call! I don't know about
you, but I think it would be pretty neat to
hear Peggy Johnson, Mary Reynolds,
Donna DeSalvo or some of our other
friends on local radio. To make a request, just
call KTNT's request line at 460-9898 . . . .
Louise Rankin is publishing a book of
experiences of children of lesbians. She
would like the children to write about
their friends' reactions, feelings about
being raised in a lesbian family and overall
feelings of both good and bad. All contributions will have a name attached to them,
either their real name or a fictitional one.
The child will also receive several copies of
the book as payment for her /his contribution. To contribute writings, send them to
Louise Rankin, P.O. Box 565, Provincetown, MA, 02657 or call her at (508)
487-6367 ....
also, any women interested in the Lesbian
Mothers Support Group should call Sharon
& Marty at 1-872-9732 (Noble) ....
there are 2 vacancies on the Herland board
of directors . If you are interested in being a
part of a nonprofit organization and
syndicated advice columnist Ann Landers
has asked what her readers think about
"legal sanctions for same-sex couples." To
communicate your support for the rights
of gay and lesbian couples, write to Ann
Landers, c/o The Chicago Tribune, 435 N.
Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611 ....
this last entry is a tough one. As of this
newsletter, I will no longer be a member of
the board or editor of The Voice. I have
greatly appreciated the support you have
given me during the 6 months I have been
editor. I would like to thank all those
wonderful women who contributed articles and letters during that time, and the
board for allowing me to be a part of them
and for entrusting me with their "voice." I
would be lying to you if I said that being
editor has been an easy job, but for all the
frustrations I have encountered, the input
I have received made it all worthwhile. I
have been given more credit than I deserve
for the shape the newsletter is in. The look
it has now would not have been possible
without the talent and contribution of our
typesetter, Rhonda. I appreciate the contributions of all of the newsletter staff. They
certainly took a load off. Although I have
experienced a great deal of growth and
enrichment from being a member of the
board and as editor of the newsletter, it is
time to move on. To quote one of my
favorite journalists, "and so it goes." •
HSR, JANUARY, 1990
7
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HSR, JANUARY, 1990