HerlandVoice-1995-08-v13-no08_ocr.pdf

Title: HerlandVoice-1995-08-v13-no08_ocr.pdf
extracted text: 'Ifie

HERLANDV ICE
August, 1995

LONG AWAITED CHILD
CUSTODY DECISION RULES
IN FAVOR OF LESBIAN MOM
On July 18, 1995 the Oklahoma Supreme Court in a 5-3
decision reversed a lower court ruling against a lesbian mother.
The decision comes three years after a Cleveland County district
judge found the mother unfit and granted custody of the children
to the father. The children are expected to return to their mother's
home.
In the opinion authored by Chief Justice Alma Wilson,
the Supreme Court said it found neither an allegation of unfitness
nor any evidence establishing the mother's unfitness. The ruling
by the district judge is "wholly without evidentiary support and
clearly erroneous", the Supreme Court said and that the district
court's order changing custody from the mother to the father "is an
abuse of discretion."
In their decision, the Supreme Court said that the father
failed to show that the mother's behavior had any adverse effect
on the children. ''We have carefully examined all the evidence to
determine whether such proof was presented. We find that it was
not," the Supreme Court said.
The Supreme Court disagreed with an earlier ruling from
the Court of Appeals which upheld the change of custody based
on the trauma that may result in the future because of disapproval
from community members. "We do not agree," the Supreme
Court said stating further that the evidence presented in the case
did not prove a change of circumstance that directly and adversely
affected the children.
What does this ruling mean for the lesbian and gay
community of Oklahoma? Besides giving us all something to
celebrate, the decision makes the law in Oklahoma very clear:
1) being a lesbian/gay parent by itself does not
make you unfit
2) evidence must be presented that clearly shows that
the parent's behavior is directly harming the children
in the present
3) arguments based on some future harm to children
because of the parent's behavior are without merit.
This ruling will give lesbian/gay parents a stronger legal
footing should they find themselves in an unfortunate child
custody proceeding. Hopefully, the decision will give adequate
guidance to district courts so that future cases will not suffer the
consequences of the Cleveland County case. YES ! -Ct:

Volume 13 Number 8

Yet another...

COF'F EEHOUSE!
1

featuring ... Talent from Tulsa!

WHEN: AUGUST 19
TIME: 7:00 P.M.
WHERE: BERLAND
We will be having another cookout!
Herland will provide the hotdogs and
you are invited to bring a side dish
sufficient enough to feed several.
Soda pop will be available for sale at
50 cents per can.

COME JOIN US FOR AN
EVENING OF FUN AND
RELAXATION!

HE/iUIND HOMECOM/Nfi
In October Herland will begin its second decade of
retreats! Hundreds of wonderful women have created good times
and outstanding memories at previous retreats, and the next
retreat will be a HOMECOMING celebration with old friends and
new activities.
If you have been to many retreats, DO NOT MISS THIS
ONE, and if you have never attended a Herland retreat, NOW IS
THE TIME TO COME and help us start our second decade.
So come to the HOMECOMING RETREAT this Fall
and bring your memories of the past, enthusiasm for the present,
and vision for the future. -Ct:

Harland Sister Resources

2312 NW 39, OKC, OK 73112

Dear St. Sybil:
I'm sorry, and I know you told me not to, but I've been
reading the Daily Disappointment editorial page again, and as
usual it's got me confused. Listen to what I read on July 11 ,
written by a columnist called Linda Bowles, talking about the
effects of affirmative action: ''This obsession with race has
infiltrated and contorted every aspect of our public and private
lives. We have rigged voting districts , test scores, hiring
standards, college admissions, juries, educational standards,
scholarships and contract awards."
Sybil, every instinct tells me that affirmative action is a
good and necessary thing, but what about what she says here?
And what about Clarence Thomas' argument that minorities and
women are stigmatized by affirmative action, so that when they
do get ahead they fear that people won't believe that it is due to
merit and hard work. And what about all the people I know who
say they know somebody who lost a job or a promotion to a black
or a woman just because of their race or sex? Surely that is not
right. Talk to me, Sybil, and help me figure it out. Thanking you
in advance; I am your friend and fan.
Eliza Domuch.

Dear Eliza,
Affirmative action? Sure, right; like before affirmative
action there was no gerrymandering, no race-based or genderbased jury selection, no race-based scholarships selection, no
"whites only need apply" ... Give me a break! Affirmative action?
Jim Crow is more like it. I tell you, Eliza, the sanctimonious
griping of those people opposed to affirmative action would be
easier to tolerate if every once in a while they would
acknowledge, however briefly and begrudgingly, the centuries of
hard-core discrimination and total denial of access that women
and racial minorities have borne. Does that writer really not know
that what she describes is exactly what occurred with Jim Crow?
There has always been affirmative action; it is just that until
twenty years or so ago it was an affirmative elitism used to benefit
white men only.
College admission? Colleges have always looked at race
and gender, but prior to affirmative action it was usually to
exclude. Jobs? You know the famous glass ceiling, the invisible
barrier of sexism in the old-boys club which keeps women from
advancing into higher echelons of power and prestige? Well,
honey, a very few years ago, before the feminist and civil rights
movements, and before affirmative action, that ceiling was about
knee high. Those were the days when women routinely had to
train men to become their supervisors - it makes my stomach hurt
just thinking about it. For far too long race and gender were the
primary consideration for admission anywhere, to jobs, colleges,
restaurants, swimming pools, schools, even hospitals. Even
cemetenes. The fact is that America is nowhere near advanced
enough in its embrace of diversity that it should do away with a
positive effort to include all of its people, everywhere and always.
As far as feeling stigmatized as a possible recipient of
affirmative action, just because the policy exists, balderdash. o
2

Her/and Voice

August, 1995

Sandra Day O'Connor, Paula Ginsberg and that idiot Clarence
Thomas himself should spend exactly as much time worrying
about being the beneficiaries of affirmative action - and of course
they all three were, don't doubt that for a minute - as the six white
guys with them on the Supreme Court should worry about
benefiting from affirmative elitism and the old boys club; as they
all six did.
And as for that dastardly old canard about people losing
promotions or jobs to unqualified blacks and women, remember
that people naturally look for excuses when they don't get jobs or
promotions; and keep in mind also the self-serving bigotry that
assumes that only white males are fully qualified for the jobs they
seek.
I am reminded of a cautionary little tale people here like
to tell, having to do with the white man's heaven. It seems three
recently departed Oklahomans arrived at the pearly gates, where
St. Peter greeted them with a warm smile and an entrance exam.
He turned to the first, an elderly white man, and commanded him:
Spell "dog" and define it. The old gentleman smiled, spelled d-o
-g, defined it as a wolf-like critter, and was ushered proudly
through the Pearlies. St. Peter then turned to the second person,
another, younger white man, and commanded him: Spell "cat"
and define it. The young man spelled c-a-t, defined it as a tiny
tiger, and he too was ushered through the gates. Finally Peter
turned to the third candidate for heaven, a cute little butch-looking
black lesbian, and commanded: Spell "eleemosynary nonhierarchical sororal society", and define it.
And that, my dear, is the kind of "affirmative action" that
the country will revert to in a heartbeat if positive affirmative
action for women and minorities is eliminated. I hope you don't
allow it to happen.
Yours with my fingers crossed, and stay away from that
odious newspaper.
Sybil

Does your best friend miss
out at HALLOWEEN?

Dog
Costume
Contest at the Fall Retreat is

The

your chance to let your dog's
fantasies come true.

So bring your dog and
ere a ti vi ty along with a
small entrance fee to this
year's Fall Retreat!

I·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·/
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by Jill Gamer

I just heard a new CD that I really like a lot. I first heard
Kim Richey when I saw a video of hers on Country Music
Television. However, there are only a couple of songs on the CD
that I would describe as being country. Richey resides more in
that realm reserved for singer/songwriters who don't fit into a nice
neat category (Mary Chapin Carpenter and k.d. lang immediately
come to mind). They're put into country at the record store, and
played on country music radio if they're lucky enough to be
played on the radio at all, although most aren't. But enough of my
soapbox.
Richey has a great voice and I keep trying to figure out
who she reminds me of. At times she reminds me so much of
Karla Bonoff that it's uncanny. At other times I think Linda
Ronstadt, no, Trisha Yearwood, no, that's not quite it either. But
it doesn't really matter. She has a smooth, slightly deep voice
that's strong, and it makes me think of other women singers who
have that quality. She co-wrote or wrote every song on the album,
and while her songs are somewhat simple snapshots of life, love,
relationships and heartbreak, I like them a lot. She doesn't delve
deeply into human emotions and experiences typical of Mary
Chapin or the Indigo Girls' songs, but her songs reach me because
they describe such universal feelings. Trying to outdrive
heartache in Those Words We Said, Richey sings, "No matter
how I try I can't get far enough away, Every sad song on my radio
sounds like it's custom made, By some devil on my shoulder that
keeps whisperin' in my ear, And I still hear the echoes of those
bitter words we said, And I could drive a million miles and never
drive them from my head." I love heartbroken driving songs for
some reason. I also love the line in Here I Go Again, as she
endures yet another heartbreak; "Sure it's for the best, And
someday I'll laugh the whole thing off, But I'm not quite there yet."
Just Like the Moon has some of the prettiest lyrics on the album.
"/sat outside one afternoon in an old lawn chair, And I watched
the sun set offfor business west somewhere, And the sky turned
water color pink and gold and blue, And the stars all showed up
one by one and we waited for the moon." It's a great album and
every time I hear it I wish I were driving across the desert with the
top down and this music on the tape deck really loud. It's driving
music. Check it out

Cheryl Wheeler - Circles and Arrows
For you Cheryl Wheeler fans (or those who would like to
hear her), her album Circles and Arrows has been rereleased. It's
some of her best work and is as good as her most recent album,
Driving Home. ~

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Due to the rise in postage and other costs, it has
become necessary f or us to up date our
newsletter mailing list. If you wish to continue
receiving the newsletter, please mail the
following form to the Herland Voice in the
enclose d envelope.

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Yes! I wish to continue rece1vmg the

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subscription and that of another sister who ":j
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Payments are due October 1995 and your ~·
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3 Her/and Voice

August, 1995

LESBIAN-ONLY COUNSELING - group or individual counseling.
M.E.D./M.H.R./l.CA.D./L.P.C. at 321-0134.

For more information contact Jo L. Soske

DOG SHOW! The Fall Retreat will include a Saturday afternoon Dog Show/Contest. Ribbons or certificates will be awarded in several
categories. The judges will include veterinarian Debbie Scott. The entry fee will be $2 per category. So bring your furry friends to the
Fall Retreat for the show. Remember that all dogs must be on a lease and kept out of the kitchen and dining room. For further
information contact Linda Stone at 329-6610.

to THE VOICE

MAAT' Fol/DwU., ""p<inciplu ofjusliu,
divine law and trMlh

•
.

Sarah J. Rucker

'Valerie YliD(antkr

0

Cenificd Massage Therapist

Mulium.
Tarot Cards • I Ching
By Appointment Only

(405) 235-5059

By Appollitment Only
(405) IC3-4210

Rebecca R. Cohn, Ph.D.
Cllnlcal Psychology
~IOE aRts • ant1QUES

Individual,
Couples & Family
Therapy

Norman, OK
321-2148

Nancy Schneider M.s. w.
~ G'bmcalJoa'd <HJ~
lndiuldual.
couple. and
group therapy
2233 W. UNDSEY
SUITE 109
NORMAN, OK 73069

4

Her/and Voice

(4-05) 364-2545
PA.GER: (4-05) 79 J ·8792

August, 1995

.- Plants •
kath1teen Rankin
- natasha RIC€ (405) 447-5111

Cf •~ts -

hauWfE; Pilla-

· 1961 w. lmOs€Y-_
noRJT1an. --Ok 73069

Published by: Harland Sister Resources, Inc. 2312 N.W.
39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112
Circulation: 1200
The Voice is offered as an open forum for community
discourse. Articles reflect the opinions of the author and not
necessarily those of Harland Sister Resources. Unsolicited
articles and letters to the editor are welcomed and must be
signed by the writer with full name and address. Upon request,
letters or articles may be printed under a pseudonym or
anonymously. Subscriptions to The Voice are free upon ·
request. The Voice is printed on recycled paper.

Oklahoma Bisexual
Network

NOT IN OUR TOWN
YOU DON'T!

The Oklahoma Bisexual Network (OBiN) is a new
arganization which aims to support, educate, and affirm the
bisexual community as well as bisexual and bi-friendly
individuals in the state of Oklahoma. In addition, we hope to
become a reliable source for breaking down social stereotypes
concerning the topic of bi-sexuality by creating an educational
platform that people of all sexual orientations can call upon.

Today's residents of Billings, Montana, appear to have little
in common with the citizens of Denmark during World War II;
except, it seems, courage, character and a large measure of decency.
When Germany occupied Denmark, Hitler ordered all Jews to wear
the Star of David at all times. The morning following the decree, the
King of Denmark himself appeared publicly wearing the Star of
David; great numbers of other Danes followed suit, and the
requirement was soon dropped.
Now Montana, along with Washington, Oregon, Idaho and
Wyoming, has been designated a "white homeland" by the Aryan
Nation and growing numbers of kindred skinheads, Klan members
and other white supremacists; and there have been a number of hate
crimes in Billings; desecration of a Jewish cemetery, threatening
phone calls to Jewish citizens, swastikas painted on the home of an
interracial couple. In December 1993, a brick was thrown through
the window of a Jewish family , strewing glass over 5-year old Isaac
Schnitzer's bed. Someone had evidently taken offence at a menorah
and other symbols of Jewish faith stenciled on the glass as part of the
family's Hanukkah celebration.
Now the good
citizens of Billings had
had enough. One of
them, an imaginative
woman
named
Margaret McDonald,
phoned her pastor and
suggested that they
have Sunday school
children make paper
cut-out menorahs for
their own windows. The following week menorahs appeared in the
windows of hundreds of Christian homes. Five days later, the local
paper published a full-page drawing of a menorah, along with a
general invitation for people to put it up. By the end of the week from
six to ten thousand homes were decorated with menorahs.
There were many incidents of hate violence against the
Christian population who displayed the menorah or other visible
signs of support. When asked about the danger the town was
incurring by its demonstration of solidarity with its Jewish citizens,
police chief Wayne Inman said, "There's greater risk in not doing it."
The ugly incidents eventually waned, and people continue in
their efforts to support one another against hate crimes. New
friendships have formed, new traditions started. and greater mutual
understanding and respect have been achieved. During the Passover
holiday the following spring, 250 Christians joined their Jewish
sisters and brothers in a traditional Seder meal; and last winter
families all over Billings took out their menorahs to reaffirm their
commitment to peace and religious tolerance.
And that is what the King of Denmark, or one concerned
woman, can do; if they have courage and a fierce commitment to
justice.

I
I

UPCOMING MEETING DATES
FOR AUGUST:
Norman Chapter
Sunday, August 13 at 7 PM
Location: Mystic Forest Treasures
Stillwater Chapter
Friday, August 18 at 7 PM
Location: Call (405) 945-2903 for details
OBiN has two working chapters -- Norman and
Stillwater. We hope to reactivate the OKC chapter, which for
now is inactive. The Norman chapter meets the second Sunday of
every month at 7 PM. Location is Mystic Forest Treasures, 1961
W. Lindsey. Since the business is closed on Sundays, this
meeting is confidential and discreet. The Stillwater chapter meets
on the third Friday of each month at 7 PM. For information on the
Stillwater chapter, please call our 24-hour information line at
(405) 945-2903 and leave a message for Hildy Overcash, who
heads the Stillwater chapter. If you are interested in joining OBiN
or would like more information, please call our 24-hour info line
at (405) 945-2903, or Susan Eaton at (405) 524-2507. Send all
correspondence to: OBiN, P.O. Box 2714, Norman, OK 73070.

SCHOLARSHIP!
Last spring, the Voice ran an announcement informing
readers about the availability of a scholarship for the children of
gay or lesbian parents. One of the recipients of this award was an
Oklahoma resident.
Jon Dylan Soske, the son of Jo L. Soske received the
Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International Scholarship in
the amount of $250. The GLPCI wrote, "...We hope that this
scholarship will convey to you that the larger community of
lesbian, bisexual, and gay parents supports you in your efforts to
complete your education. We are proud of the achievements of
the young adults raised in our community and recognize that
many of you have struggled with the additional burden of
homophobia... "

Information from Fellowship. Jan/Feb 1995.

CONGRATULATIONS JON!!
5 Her/and Voice

August, 1995

•I\" 5S

•\ ,~,\o·s '
oo"
(\3" "'\"g~e eGo
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·

Fall Retreat

October 27-29
Fountainhead State Park

Fabulous
Potluck
Dinner

Mary
Reynolds
Fun!!!

Peggy
Johnson

Old Friends

Open Mic

New Friends
Campfire
Sing-a-longs

MORE!!!
Fun!!!

Fun!!!

Workshops

Som~thing For EvE3rye>nE3!

Plan te> Be There!

Herland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
(405)521-9696
Hours: Saturdays 10 - 5, Sundays 1 - 5

s

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1

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3
2
PFLAG founded , 1981

9

50th Anniv. of
Hiroshima, 6pm ,
Mayflower Church
13

T

10

5

11

12
Radclyffe Hall,
born 1880

Norman PFLAG ,
St. Stephen's, 7pm
14

15

16

17

18

·" · e,
ratif ie ,· 1920

21

22

23

24

28

29

30

31

Her~oard
Meet1 · j30pm
27

19

~!

O.G .L.P.C. ,
7pm, Oasis
20

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4

25

C , u s e,
26
Nat. Am. Women 's
Suffrage ftssn.
becomes League of
Women Voters, 1920

NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage

PAID
2312 N.W. 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73112

ADDRESS CORRECTION REQUESTED
RETURN POST AGE GUARANTEED

Oklahoma City, Okla.
Permit No.861

Part of The Herland Voice : v.13: no.8(1995)