HerlandVoice-1989-12-v6-no12_ocr.pdf

Title: HerlandVoice-1989-12-v6-no12_ocr.pdf
extracted text: DECEMBER, 1989

ARE YOU A
CO-DEPENDENT?
New Group Forming
Have you wondered just what the term
co-dependent really means? The following
are just a few of the typical characteristics
of a co-dependent:
• I assume responsibility for others' feelings and/or behaviors; i.e. It was my fault

If any of the above seems to fit, you may
want to attend Herland's newly-formed
Co-dependents Anonymous group for
wimmin which will meet at the Herland
Resource Center every Tuesday beginning
December 5 at 7 :30 p.m. The only requirement for membership in CODA is a desire
•
for healthy and loving relationships.

PRO-CHOICE RALLY
by Margaret C.

she yelled at me.
• I have difficulty expressing feelings; i.e. I

am happy, sad, angry, scared, lonely, hurt.
• I have difficulty in forming and/or maintaining close relationships.
• I tend to minimize, alter or even deny the
truth about how I feel.
• My self-esteem is bolstered by other/ outer influences.
• I tend to judge everything I do, think or
say harshly-nothing done, said or
thought is "good enough."
• I am steadfastly loyal-even when the
loyalty is unjustified, and personally
harmful.
• I am extremely responsible- or extreme! y
irresponsible.
The following are just a few of the patterns of co-dependency:
• My good feelings about who I am stem
from being liked by you and/or receiving approval from you.
• My mental attention is focused on pleasing you and/or protecting you and/or
manipulating you (to do it my way).
• My own hobbies and interests are put
aside. My time is spent sharing your
interests and hobbies.
• I am not aware of how I feel, I am aware
of how you feel.
• My fear of rejection determines what I
say or do.
• My social circle diminishes as I involve
myself with you.

VOLUME 6 NUMBER 12

•

The November 12 Rally for Choice at
the Oklahoma State Capitol sent a powerful message to our legislature. Five thousand strong, the pro-choice turnout was
more than 30 times larger than any crowd
the anti-abortionists have ever been able to
put together. People determined to keep
the reproductive freedoms we now have
came from all corners of the state to make
their opinion known as forcibly as possible. Several of our most-likely candidates
for governor in 1990 spoke at the rally,
thereby committing themselves to the prochoice position: Congressman Wes Watkins, Speaker Steve Lewis and David Walters. Oklahoma Secretary of State Hannah
Atkins also spoke, and Rep. Freddye Williams went out of her way to stop by and
briefly address the crowd on her way to a
seminar. One of the few non-politicians
who spoke was Vivian Ng of OU and the
AAUW. Ed Asner was the celebrity
speaker of the day, and Cleta Deathearage
Mitchell acted as emcee.
The local chapter of NOW, Metro OKC
NOW, as well as contributing many of the
most decorative, well-made and imaginative signs, staged a piece of theater prior to
the beginning of the festivities and again
during a musical interlude. To dramatize
the women who die every three minutes of
illegal abortions worldwide, a wooden
casket was carried to the rally, with Cindy
R. dressed in black, a hanger and a red
carnation on her chest (she was sometimes
in the casket, sometimes walking in front

HERLAND SISTER RESOURCES

•

of it).
When the casket was carried up the
steps to the capitol, it was led by Cindy B.
playing a kettle drum. Good visuals, good
message!
The rally was clearly a smashing success,
a rousing, effective achievement. Yet, it
would have been as good or better if in the
struggle to keep freedom of choice, freedom of speech had not been stomped on.
I'm referring to the censoring of signs by
rally organizers. In the effort to keep
women in control of our bodies, we should
have been given control of our rally. The
argument that it was necessary to' control
•11
signs in order to keep out anti-choice signs
is specious in the exrreme. The one piece
of relevant theater at the event should have
been welcomed, not fought blindly, as it
was. Women's bodies, women's speech,
women's thoughts, should all be free of
outside control.
This is a problem which will probably
always arise when a civil liberties position
is embraced by people with no grounding
in feminist/progressive thought. As an
example, a local group promoting a demonstration against the V...earing of dead
animals seriously plans to try to keep out
of the demonstration anyone who they
think looks too weird or radical; and also
plans total control of the signs carried by
the demonstrators. This is an appalling
attitude to anyone who came to her/his
anti-fur position from an ever-expanding
reverence for all life. through the civil
rights, anti-war, equal rights and gay rights
struggles.
In the most recent issue of On the Issues,
Merle Hoffman makes the point this way:
"In the struggle to win the 'hearts and
minds' of the American people, the prochoice and women's movements must take
•
care not to lose their souls."

2312 N.W. 39th, OKC, OK 73112

•

(405) 521-9696

HSR-CALENDAR OF
EVENTS-DECEMBER

EDITORIAL POLICY!
The HERLAND VOICE is offered as an
open forum for community discourse. Materia ls
princed hecein reflect che beliefs and opinions of
che authors of the articles or letters, and not
necessarily those of chc Neu•sletter or the
Herland Board.
Letters to the editor muse be signed by the
writer with full name. Letters will not be
printed with name unless writer requests it.
Editing may he necessary for space or to atJoid
obscenity, lihel, or intJas ion of pritJacy, but ideas
will nor be altered. Publication of all materials
is ac the discretion of che editors. Anyone
hatJing a complaint ahouc the content of chis
newsletter may conracr the editors at 52 l- 9696.

Dec. 5 • Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource
Center, 7:30 p.m.
Dec. 6, 7, 8 • Feminist Book Fair
sponsored by OU Women's Studies
Program, Student Union, OU Campus.
For more information call 366-7469.

Dec. 7 • Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-stepmeeting(women'sgroup),
Resource Center, 7:30 - 9 p.m.

Dec. 12 • Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource Center, 7:30 p.m.

--------i

ID ~E~ :nt~ be a-;riend of Harland. My minimum

I

Dec. 15 • Deadline for submissions to
newsletter.
Dec. 16. Peggy Johnson at the Cantina del
Paseo, 3007 Paseo, 9 p.m.

Dec. 17 ·Board meeting, Resource Center,
2p.m.
Dec. 19 • Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource Center, 7:30 p.m.
Dec. 21 • Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-step meeting (women's group),
Resource Center, 7:30 - 9 p.m.

I

donation of $12 allows me use of the Herland Library and
a 10% discount on store purchases over the next 12
months. (My $12 is enclosed.)
D YES' I want to help Herland with a donation to the
New Building Fund .
D $15
D $20
D $25
D $100
D $_ _
D $50

I D Bookstore volunteer D Building volunteer
I Name - - - - - - - - - - - - ' 11 Address _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

City

I

SL___ ZIP _ _

Telephone Number:

I Mail to:
I

I

I

Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 N.W. 39th
Oklahoma City, OK 73112

---------------

Dec. 26 • Co-dependents Anonymous
(CODA) support group, Resource Center, 7:30 p.m.

Dec. 31 • HSR NEW YEAR'S EVE
PARTY! Resource Center, 6 p.m. ???? (this will be a chemical-free
party).

Socks
Undies for that special woman in
your life

Books
Bumper Stickers that express you
Fanny packs

Gift Certificates are also available
for that hard-to-please woman in
your life!
' ,
•v'

THE RESOURCE CENTER WILL BE
OPEN CHRISTMAS EVE FROM 1
P.M. TO 6 P.M. FOR LAST-MINUTE
SHOPPING.

~-~
I

NATIONAL NEWS EDITOR:
Karen Lewis
CITY NEWS EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger

DISPLAY ADS:

business card or 1 /10 page . ..
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PLEASE NOTE: There will be a minimal
charge for typesetting done to any
advertising.
Leave message for Ginger at HSR,
(521-WMYN) to place an ad.

HSR, DECEMBER, 1989

Satin Ties

EXECUTIVE EDITOR:
Sondra Metzger

DISCOUNTS: available on advance

2

Seasons Greeting Cards

PUBLISHED BY: Herland Sister Resources, Inc.
2312 NW 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.

Dec. 28 • Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-step meeting {women's group),
Resource Center, 7:30 - 9 p.m.
Dec. 31 • Sisters of Swing, downtown at
Opening Night, Liberty Bank. Check
daily newspaper for time.

Games (Homophobia - similar to
Scruples)

Audio Tapes (many women artists)

Dec. 14 • Incest Survivors Anonymous
(ISA) 12-step meeting (women's group),
Resource Center, 7:30 - 9 p.m.

CHRISTMAS &
HOLIDAY GIFTS
AVAILABLE AT
HERLAND THIS YEAR!

TYPESETIING: Rhonda S.
CIRCULATION: 700
GENERAL INFO (405) 521-9696
ADVERTISING: 521-9696
DEADLINE on all advertising and submissions is
the 15th of each month.
SUBSCRIPTIONS to the HERLAND VOICE are
free upon request.

NGLTF CALLS FOR
IMMEDIATE IMPLEMENTATION
OF NEW MILITARY REPORT
Washington, D.C. - A report ordered by
the Department of Defense (DoD) concludes that the American military should
reexamine its homophobic policy and consider ending anti-gay and lesbian discrimination.
The National Gay & Lesbian Task Force
(NGLTF), part of the Gay and Lesbian
Military Freedom Project, has praised the
report and called it a validation of what
gays and lesbians have known for years:
Homosexuals are not welcome in the military, are being severely discrimated against
and are being evicted under malicious and
punitive charges.
The half-inch thick report, called "Nonconforming Sexual Orientations and Military Suitability," was commissioned by
the DoD and executed by the Defense Personnel Security Research and Education
Center (PERSEREC). Theodore R. Sarbin, Ph.D., and Kenneth E. Karols, M.D.,
Ph.D. authored the report.
The unclassified study, dated December
1988, surfaced recently in a New York
Times article after it was made available by
members of Congress, in particular Reps.
Gerry Studds (D-Mass./10) and Patricia
Schroeder (D-Colo./ 1).
The report urges the military to end its
ban on gays and lesbians. Citing changes in
American society's acceptance of homosexuals, the report states the government
will most likely be forced to reexamine its
anti-gay policies.
The Pentagon has since rejected the
report, calling it wasteful, flawed, offensive and exceeding its mandate.
Gay and lesbian activists were not surprised that the military is now vehemently
distancing itself from its own commissioned report.
"The Pentagon brass believed it was hiring a group of 'yes men' to uphold a prejudiced policy," said Robert Bray, public
information director. "It's the classic case
of the emperor with no clothes -we see
the DoD stripped of its honor and integrity
and the naked truth of bigotry revealed."
Peri]ude Radecic, NGLTF lobbyist and
representative to the Military Freedom
Project, said that credit for increased scrutiny of military policy should go to Congressman Gerry Studds. Studds has worked
diligently to guarantee equality for gays
and lesbians in the military, and was primarily responsible for making the new report
public.

The release of the report coincidently
came at the same time as a new Gallup Poll
showing increasing acceptance of gays and
lesb ians by the public . The poll, as
reported on October 25 in the New York
Times , shows among other things that 71
percent of the people surveyed believe
homosexuals should have "equal rights in
terms of job opportunities." Sixty percent
said gays and lesbians would be appropriate in the military.
The Gay and Lesbian Military Freedom
Project, co-founded by NGLTF, is a coalition of leading civil rights groups committed to securing equality in the Armed Forces. Other members of the Project are the
American Civil Liberties Union's Lesbian/Gay Rights Project, the National Lawyers Guild Military Law Task Force, the
National Organization for Women, the
Women's Equality League, Lambda Legal
Defense and Education Fund, and Citizen
Soldier.
•

GAY RIGHTS VICTORY
IN MASSACHUSETTS:
BUILDING MOMENTUM
FOR THE NATION
Passage of the Massachusetts lesbian
and gay civil rights bill is perhaps the single
greatest victory for the gay rights movement in 1989. Massachusetts joins Wisconsin, becoming the second state in the
nation to pass comprehensive civil rights
legislation for gays and lesbians . Key to
success in Massachusetts was a ground
swell of public support that convinced
undecided legislators and overwhelmed
opponents. The Massachusetts victory is
emblematic of a nationwide movement
that is building momentum to spark a
chain of gay rights victories in coming
years .
The march on Washington for Lesbian
and Gay Rights on October 11, 1987
marked a turning point in the nationwide
gay rights movement. Never before had
the gay community wimessed its own
strength in such numbers. As a result,
hundreds of thousands of demonstrators
brought home with them a new sense of
empowerment. The emerging strength of
the gay and lesbian community is changing
the face of our struggle for equal rights.
This year's Massachusetts victory dramatically illustrates this change.
In Massachusetts prior to 1987, a quiet,
insider lobbying strategy kept the gay
rights bill alive, but failed to convince key
legislators of its overwhelming public sup-

po rt. At the end of the 1987 legislative
session, shortly after the March on Washington , the bill suffe red its fifteenth co nsecutive defeat. That year, the bill had
passed the House and won a majority in
the Senate, but was killed in committee.
This unjust defeat triggered a massive
demonstration. Chants of more than 600
protestors rang throughout the State
House, and 14 people were arrested when
they chained themselves to seats inside the
Senate Gallery.
The power unleashed by this demonstration transformed the public perception of the community as a political force
and brought the voice of the lesbian and
gay community at large to the Senate
House. In the years following the 1987
demonstration, street activism, in the
form of passionate rallies and angry protests, became a core part of the lobbying
effort.
The high visibility tactics employed by
organizations such as the Coalition for
Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights brought the
issue to the public eye. Extensive media
campaigns drew front-page headlines and
secured gay rights endorsements from
public figures and the local media. The
encouraging effect of this publicity drew
new supporters out of the closet. Realizing
the strength of our numbers, thousands of
people took action at the grassroots level,
contributing to letter-writing campaigns
and constituent lobbying.
In 1989, the gay rights bill became an
unstoppable people's initijltive. A statewide poll showed 68 percent support for
the bill among Massachusetts voters. Grassroots activists, building on groundwork
already laid, garnered a majority support
in both houses and overwhelmed powerfully placed opponents. The visibilty of a
unified gay community made the difference.
Public support will also be vital to preserving the Massachusetts gay rights law.
Gay rights opponents are currently trying
to organize a last-ditch effort to place gay
rights on a statewide referendum. If the
opponents succeed, the pro-gay rights
majority will be crucial to defeating the
repeal initiative. Gay issues are not new to
Massachusetts voters, most of whom have
realized that basic civil rights protections
for lesbians and gay men are long o verdue.
The psychological and symbolic impact
of passage of the bill in Massachusetts will
strengthen the fight for gay rights in other
areas of the country, helping those states
that are at a crossroads in their own civil
Concinued on next page

HSA, DECEMBER, 1989

3

continual from previous page

rights struggles. Connecticut, California,
New York, Iowa, and other states where gay
rights legislation has nearly succeeded in the
past will look to the popular support in Massachusetts as a source of inspiration.
•

MABEL HAMPTON
DIES
New York-Black lesbian community
activist Mabel Hampton died of pneumonia at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital on
October 26 at the age of 87.
She was one of the founders of the Lesbian Herstory Archives, and had donated
her books and artifacts about lesbian life.
Hampton played a pioneering role in the
battle for civil rights, women's and gay
liberation, and was honored by many
national black, gay and lesbian organizations for her inspiration. In the past
decade, Hampton appeared in several film
and television programs documenting her
involvement in the Harlem Renaissance
and in gay life before Stonewall.
Hampton was born in Winston-Salem,
North Carolina on May 2, 1902. She went
to Greenwich Village when she was seven
and in her teens joined an all-women's
dance troupe that performed in Coney
Island. During the '40s and '50s she starred
in several productions at the Lafayette
Theater and was a dancer at the Garden of
Joy in Harlem. In 1937, Hampton met her
life-partner, Lillian Foster. The two women
were together until Foster's death in 1978.
Hampton took part in New York City's
Gay and Lesbian Pride March every year
and was the Grand Marshall in 1985. In a
1988 interview with Kate Rushin in
Sojourner, Hampton said, "When the gay
movement really came out, I said, "Here it
comes! Here it comes! Whoopie! ... People should come out of the closet and stay
out. Try to fight to do whatever you can to
make our life a beautiful life to live."
Hampton is survived by hundreds and
hundreds of loving friends.
A funeral mass was held at St. Augustine
Church in the Bronx on October 31, 1989.
Donations in her memory can be sent to
the Lesbian Herstory Educational Foundation, Inc., P.O. Box 1258, NY, NY
100116, and to Senior Action in A Gay
Environment, 208 W. 13th St., NY, NY
10011.
•
From Gay Communir:y News, NO<i. 5- 11, 1989.

4

HSR, DECEMBER, 1989

NEW REPORT
HIGHLIGHTS
HOMOPHOBIC
VIOLENCE
A new report from the Center for
Democratic Renewal (CDR) ties the rising
tide of violence against gays and lesbians to
far right and white supremacist organizations that are using anti-gay bigotry to
attract new recruits.
The report is entitled Quarantines and
Death: The Far Right's Homophobic Agenda.
"Gay people have increasingly become the
target of bigoted violence," explained
Daniel Levitas, executive director of the
Atlanta-based CDR. "This report describes the theoretical framework of the
far right's homophobic agenda and outlines the basic steps needed to confront
anti-gay bigotry."
The 40-page monograph was written by
CDR research director Leonard Zeskind,
and Mab Segrest. Zeskind is the author of
numerous background documents on
racist and anti-semitic movements. In
1987, he received the Paul Tobenkin
Memorial Award for "fearless reporting in
the struggle against bigotry" from the
Columbia University School of Journalism. Segrest is a long-time lesbian activist
who is currently director of research and
publications for North Carolinians Against
Racist and Religious Violence, based in
Durham. She is the author of My Mama's
Dead Squirrel: Lesbian Essays on Southern
Culture (Firebrand, 1985).
Quarantines and Death examines such
issues as why gay men and lesbians have
been targeted by far right groups, the
nature of homophobic violence, and the
ideology of the new right and the far right
regarding homosexuality, AIDS and civil
rights. It is available for $5 (including postage and handling) from CDR, P.O. Box
50469, Atlanta, Ga 30302. A discount of
15% is available on orders of 10 or more.
The Center for Democratic Renewal,
formerly known as the National Anti-Klan
Network, was founded 10 years ago as the
nation's principal clearing house for information on community-based responses to
hate group activity and bigoted violence. It
is a non-profit organization with offices in
Kansas City, MO, Seattle, WA, and
Atlanta, GA. The CDR implements programs of research, training, public education, community organizing and technical
assistance to counter white supremacy,
religious into lerance and homophobic
violence.
•

Letters to the Editor
Dear Sisters,
This spring I am teaching a course called

Sexism and Homophobia (Human Relations 5113) which may interest some of your
readers who never expected to see such a course
at the University of Oklahoma. Despite the
depressing title, this will not be a depressing
course, since it includes a celebration of gay
and lesbian cultures and the rise of the gay civil
rights movement.
I am very happy about the way this course is
coming together. It includes history, literature,
videos, music, the daily newspapers, and many
many personal stories about diverse lesbian
and gay lives.
This is a graduate course, open to college
graduates and others who are willing to do
graduate level work. If you want to participate
and are not an O .U. student, you can be
admitted as a special student- call the admissions office. To enroll in the course, ~(iu need a
card from the Human Relations office, 730
Physical Sciences, 325-1756. It meets from
6:00 - 8:40 p.m. on Tuesdays.
I'd be delighted to see some of the HSR
women in the seminar.

Sisterly,
Barbara Hillyer

P.S. I also teach a course called "Women's
Studies Seminar" on Wednesday afternoons.
It's both graduate and undergraduate, and is a
fine opportunity to read feminist books with
other women. Women's Studies will mail a
copy of the spring course list upon request.

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE
CAMPAIGN FOR CHOICE:
As a participant in the Rally for Choice
held at the Oklahoma State Capitol on
Novembr 12, I am writing to express my deep
concerns about the manner in which the rally
was conducted.
As I approached the rally site, I became
aware that signs were being collected at the
entrance to the area. If the sign was acceptable
to the rally organizers, then it could be
retrieved. If it was not acceptable, it could not
be retrieved until after the rally. Silencing the
voices of women is not the way to achieve our
goals. Surely there is room enough for the
expression of all.
When the rally began, my concerns grew.
We listened to one man after another talk
continued on next page

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NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE

IS IT TRUE THAT WOMEN ARE NOT AT RISK FOR HIV INFECTION?
COME LEARN THE

THINGS MAMA NEVER TOLD YOU:

WOMEN'S ISSUES RELATED TO AIDS
HIV PREVENTION, WOMEN'S ISSUES, AND WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PROTECT YOURSELF
AND EDUCATE OTHERS
January 6, 1990
2 p.m. until 5 p.m.

I

at

GUSHER'S
2200 N.W. Expressway
This workshop is sponsored by NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE (a series of workshops
targeted at the Gay Community) and HERLAND
The keynote speaker for activities sponsored by NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE will be
JEFF LEVI, Former Director of the Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Mr. Levi
will speak at the Metropolitan Community Church at 8 p.m. on January 6th.

"vl

DJ'S
28 0 5 NW 36th
942-9658

,,..

DEC 15

Desert

Heart Band

9pm

11.r

DEC 31

New Year's

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JAN 12

0eb Rober t s & Li nda St evens 9pm
Live Country

Eve $5cover

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NO COVER on Saturdays before

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OPEN at 4pm MON- FRI
HA PP Y
HOLIDAYS

paid

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9pm

Continued from previous page

about his daughters and his desire that they
have the right to choose. All the women who
spoke were well down in the agenda. At no
time in the rally did we pay tribute to the many
women who have died trying to exercise their
right to choice. The one speaker who talked
about choice and abortion as feminist issues,
Dr. Vivian Ng, was appartently asked to cut
her speech short by the M. C. We never heard
the voices of women forced to make the difficult choice of abortion whether legal or illegal.
Once again the voices of women were silenced.
The issue of reproductive freedom involves
more than the right to legal abortions. It is the
right to control our reproductive capacity.
Reproductive freedom includes the guarantee
of no forced sterilization and the freedom to
live as a lesbian or gay male without discrimination. These voices were also excluded from
the rally. The only Native Americans on the
platform were the dancers. Surely, Native
Americans can do more than dance. In this
event as in others focusing on women's concerns, the work and energy of lesbians was
critical to its success. Yet, their voices were
silenced as well. To the public, there were no
lesbians there.
I firmly believe we hold the moral high
ground with the pro-choice position. The belief
that individuals have the right to make personal choices free from government interference is a part of the fabric of our way of life.
People of all different races, creeds, ages, and
lifestyles share this belief. Let's recognize and
celebrate that diversity and build on our common belief. Silencing the voices of women will
not move us toward a world in which our rights
will be fully recognized.
At the Oklahoma City rally, the crowd was
estimated to have 5,000 participants. Wouldn't
it have been a truly spectacular event to have
celebrated the diversity among the women and
men there. We would have truly made the
point that choice is an issue supported by
Americans of all sorts and we would have
moved a little closer to a world where the rights
of all are equally protected.
Sincerely,
Pat Reeves

IRIS GLEN
FEMINIST CAMP:
A Personal Testimony
by B. G. Canis
As I entered Washington, D.C., in
the midst of Friday afternoon rush hour
traffic after 25 solid hours of driving,
and proceeded to get lost for five hours,
I was so delirious with fatigue that turning around and heading back to Oklahoma seemed a viable and attractive
option. Fortunately, I stuck with it and
eventually found my way.
My mission was to reach the Iris Glen
Feminist Camp sometime before its
conclusion 11 days in the future.
I had arranged to work at the camp as
a chef for one or two meals each day in
exchange for a $50 discount off the registration fee. The camp ran for a span of
11 days encompassing two weekends.
On Friday nights there were camp fires
and sing-alongs. On the first Friday
night we were treated to stories told by a
professional storyteller followed by
sing-alongs (feminist-style) lead by the
Washington Feminist Chorus (whom, if
you've never heard them you should).
Saturdays and Sundays offered a choice
of over 7 5 different workshops and discussion groups. While there I learned
to water ski (by some stretch of the
imagination); sail; whittle; identify various flora and fauna, including mushrooms indigenous to the east coast; perform therapeutic massage; identify stars,
constellations and planets in the summer sky; lash together logs to make
furniture and perform outdoor survival
skills. I reacquainted myself with kayaking, canoeing, swimming and windsurfing.
The Girl Scout camp we rented for
the occasion was on the South River, an
inland extension of the Chesapeake
Bay. The boats and all equipment for
water sports of various types were there
for the asking. Also, there were miles of
trails throughout the camp to explore. I
found it a real treat to once again see
expanses of plush green woods and true
mountains. Apparently, I had forgotten
just how beautiful the east coast is,
because I was quite awestruck by the
surroundings. Saturday nights consisted
of crabfests followed by dances; one a
square dance, the other a country western dance (forgive me if I don't see the
difference).

The dances were comical due to the
fact that 99% of the women in attendance were from cities and were absolutely clueless as to how one goes about
"dancing" to banjos, harmonicas, jugs
and what have you. Most of us had to
try to recall our 3rd grade gym class for
the square dancing. By the look of
things, none of our memories extended
back quite that far.
The weekdays were much quieter and
less structured. The number of women
at the camp during any given weekday
dwindled to 30 - 40, as compared to
about 150 on the weekends. There was
little doubt that most of us preferred
the weekdays. The only structured activity that occurred during the week was a
series of evening discussions entitled
"The Essentials of Feminism." Because
there were almost no structured activities during the week, we were able to
spend a lot of time at the waterfront
and more time getting to know one
another on a more personal level. ,
So, what made this women's gathering different from some of the others
I've been to? Without a doubt, it was
the closeness, the pervasive sense of
community. You couldn't have avoided
it even if you tried. Many of us bonded
with one another quite strongly. We
didn't simply exchange pleasantries and
head off on our merry ways; we communicated, laughed together, played
jokes on and teased one another, walked
together through the woods arms entwined, gave one another Il)assages, went
skinny-dipping in the moonlight, then
slept on the dock under the stars.
I had forgotten what it's like to be on
the same wave length with someone, to
be unable to stop laughing. It's been a
while. Perhaps the contrast seemed so
great because since I moved to Oklahoma about three years ago, I've only
been on the same wavelength with someone once. Close friendships demand
good communication. Although it's
tempting to blame my hectic schedule
for my lack of bonding with people
here, in actuality, that's only a very
small part of it. Every time I go back to
the east coast and each time make several new friends, I'm reminded of the
tremendous regional differences in communication styles that result in such a
chasm that spanning it becomes quite
difficult. Sarcasm was once again the
predominant form of humor and was
appreciated as an art form rather than
Continued on next page

HSR, DECEMBER, 1989

5

Continued from previous page

taken literally at the camp. It was
refreshing to have my sarcastic humor
not taken as evidence that I'm a bitch
(the fact that I'm a bitch and sarcastic is
entirely coincidental).
Most of the women there were professionals of one sort or another; all
were feminists; most were politically
active, or at the very least, politically
astute, and all but four that I knew of
were lesbians. A few were in the process
of coming out. Most people there were
single, as is typical on the east coast at
any given point in time, where a longterm relationship typically lasts a year
or two. There's not that pressure to
have to be part of a couple, at least in
part because there's a myriad of things
to do as a single person without being
ostracized because of it.
Surprisingly, the camp was totally
chemical free, especially surprising since
we're talking about the east coast here.
Unfortunately, lesbian and gay social
activities everywhere seem to require
chemicals as a rule; mostly alcohol.
This camp was a refreshing break from
having to deal with the sloppy, uncontrolled drunkard. Only a few women
were vegetarians, which is typical of the
east coast where people eat whatever is
convenient. This was no problem as all
of our meals were buffet style and,
based on the response we got, seemed
to meet everyone's needs.
The Feminist Institute, a non-profit
organization founded by Caroline Sparks
and Jackie Gentry, sponsored the event
as they have since 1979. I was particularly fortunate in that I was given a private verson of "A Feminist Tour of the
Capitol" since the woman I became
closest to at the camp is the guide for this
tour. This is a new feature offered by the
Institute. It entails a walking tour of
downtown Washington and an update
on the bleak past and present of women
in politics, which I'm sure comes as a
huge surprise to all of us. Some of the
more notable landmarks covered by the
tour include Congress, the Supreme
Court, Library of Congress and the
Sewall-Beaumont House.
As is typical when you're having a
great time, hours passed quickly. We all
dreaded having to leave. Those of us
who were left on the last day, mostly
staff members and a few of us doing

6

HSR, DECEMBER, 1989

work exchange, performed a massive
cleanup as slowly as possible and found
every possible way to delay our departure, including one last "memorial
swim." I ended up spending two days
more than I had planned, the last one in
D.C., before reluctantly heading back
home and getting into town the morning
I was scheduled to move. When I called
to report my safe arrival in Oklahoma,
which an inordinate number of people
seemed to be concerned about,
two of us were already planning trips to
see one another, which neither of us can
afford.
Without a doubt, Washington, D.C.,
and the surrounding area offers more
activities for lesbians and gay men than
I've ever seen in any other city, including New York and the San Francisco
Bay Area. If you ever get the chance to
go to the Iris Glen Feminist Camp ...
grab it!
•

BREAKING ALL THE
RULES: A REVIEW
by Karen Lewis
Dianne Davidson, a recent addition to
Olivia Records' repertoire of wimmin's
music-making talent, has produced a tapeful of thoughtful, feelingful and thoughtprovoking, feeling-provoking music in
"Breaking All The Rules" -her first
release on a wimmin's music label.
This reviewer first became acquainted
with Davidson's music in the early 70's
when she mainstreamed an album titled
"Backwoods Woman." At the time, this
album was purchased solely because of the
cover photograph which greatly intrigued
me. Upon hearing the contents I was
overwhelmed by the feeling with which
this young artist interpreted her musicand with the meaningful lyrics in the four
tracks she had written. The fondness with
which I still listen to this early production

turned to sheer excitement and joy when I
learned of Davidson's release on a wimmin's music label.
With songs that encompass Davidson's
wide range of ability this new production
includes styles as diverse as rock-n-roll
and spiritual/gospel that make for top
quality listening pleasure for the womancentered woman. It has even surpassed my
high expectations.
Of the eleven tracks making up the
work, Davidson wrote the lyrics and music
for six. "What'm I Gonna Do," with a soft
reggae back beat, speaks of a lack of direction in one's life and the ultimate need to
seek guidance from a Higher Power. Reggae gives way to blues with "Song For My
Father" in which the artist sings about and
to her dead father, of their less than harmonious relationship and the "gifts" with
which he left her. "Tonight I'll Dream That
You Care" is a slow bluesy tune about
loving someone who may never ~eturn the
love, yet the hope of a future relationship
still lives. Rock-n-roll is the envelope in
which "Killer Without a Heart" is tightly
wrapped. The lyrics speak bluntly of the
sadness and tragedy of death, and symbolically of the thoughtlessness of,our society's attitude toward those who are dying
of AIDS. In "Everything to Me," the artist
uses the blues to sing of the deep love for
the person she must leave to pursue her
music career. The words speak of the
power of love and commitment during
such a separation. A spiritual/gospel beat
supports the lyrics for "Heaven Bound,"
which describe the sadness of receiving
word of the death of someone who helped
raise you. Then the comfort found in
realizing that person's faith was such that
she would not want you to mourn because she's happy, she's "heaven-bound."
Davidson rounds out the production
with three rock-n-roll tunes: "Trouble
Again," "So Lucky," "Keep My Love
Light Burnin';" a rhythm and blues tune
"Built For Comfort," and a very soulf Jl
rendition of "Song of Burnadette" -each
written by different artists.
Already popular with women who are
familiar with her music in other parts of
the country, Dianne Davidson promises to
become a much-loved artist in the trac'ition of wimmin's music in south cent1 al
America as well. "Breaking All The
Rules" -a worthwhile addition to any
woman-loving woman's music library- is
available at Herland, and will make a cherished Christmas gift for that special woman
in your life.

r

Many thanks to the women who spent five
hours at the Resource Center getting the
November newsletter ready to mail .. . .
the garage sale was a big success! Thanks to
those who donated items and to those who
donated their time ....
there's a new magazine on the market for
female bikers called Harley Women . It is a
bi-monthly magazine published by two
women that is FOR women and not
ABOUT women. Let me add that this is a
magazine for ALL women and does not cater
to any specific type of woman other than
those who are interesed in motorcycles. Subscriptions are $12. If you are interested, write
Harley Women, c/o Asphalt Angels, P.O. Box
864, Addison, IL 60101 ....

the bi-annual Conference for Catholic
Lesbians (CCL) will be held over Memorial
Day Weekend, 1990, in Estes Park, CO.
CCL is an international organization for
women who recognize the importance of
the Catholic tradition in shaping their
lives, and who seek to develop a spiritual
life which enhances and affirms their
lesbian identity. CCL provides a source of
friendship and support for women seeking
a spiritual and social community; nurtures
and shapes the faith and spirituality of
Catholic lesbians; advocates women's and
lesbian rights in the church and society;
and offers a place where lesbians stand
together to love well at prayer and at play.
If you are interested in CCL, you can get
more information by writing to CCL, P.O.
Box 606, Contract Station 2, Denver, CO
80206 ....
if you read the article about the Iris Glen
Feminist Camp and want to know more
about it, here's the address and phone: The
Feminist Institute, Inc., P.O. Box 30563,
Bethesda, MD 20814, (301) 951-9040.
Thanks, B.G.! ....
the OKC Animal Shelter is once again having a pet annex in North Park Mall for the
holidays. This has been a very successful
event for the Animal Shelter with many
animals being adopted out to good homes
each year. The hours of operation will be
from 1 p .m. until mall closing time,
Thursdays through Sundays, Nov. 24
through Dec 23 . If you're thinking about

getting someone a pet for Christmas, make
sure the receiver wants it first and save
yourself and the pet a lot of grief .. ..
there is a newsletter available for Asian
lesbians living in the U.S. It's called
Anamika. This newsletter is for Indian,
Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Afghani, Sri Lankan, Bhutanese, Nepalese and Burmese
lesbians. For more info, write Anamika,
Box 652 Van Bruut Station, Brooklyn, NY
11215 .. ..
the mistake a lot of politicians make is
forgetting they have been appointed and
think they have been anointed .. ..
two corrections to items in past newsletters: the phone number for our volunteer coordinator, Pam T., is 631-3575.
The correct address to send donations to
help Lillian Graham in her court battle
with American Airlines is: Tulsa NOW,
P.O. Box 471902, Tulsa, OK 74147-1902.
Please annotate that the donation is for
Lillian Graham. Sorry for the inconvenience, Pam and Tulsa NOW .. . .
Olivia Records has started a Home Marketing Division. This means that women
everywhere will be able to have an "Olivia
Party" in their own home. If you are interested in having an Olivia Party in your
home, contact Olivia Records, Inc., Home
Marketing Division, 4400 Market St.,
Oakland, CA 94608 ....
another newsletter: Matrices is a nonprofit,
networking resource for lesbians inter-

ested in new lesbian research, scholarship,
publications, conferences, ideas, etc., out
of Minneapolis. The staff has committed
themselves to producing a tri-annual newsletter, with the first issue being January
1990. If you're interested in receiving
Matrices, write Matrices, Women's Studies
Dept., University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, MN 55455 ... .
"A Quick and Easy Guide to Socially
Responsible Supermarket Shopping" is a
pocket-sized guide which ranks nearly
1400 brand-name products on ten social
issues: women's advancement, minority
advancement, animal testing, nuclear
power, environment, South Africa, charitable giving, community outreach, defense
contracts and social disclosure. To receive
a copy, send $4.95 to CEP, 30 Irving Pl.,
New York, NY 10003. Thanks to OK
NOW for the info . .. .
I

'II

Margaret C. is still working on forming a
consciousness raising group that will start
in January. If you feel you would like to be
more aware of feminist issues, this is for
you. Call 528-0604 for more info ... .
'tis the season, and like everyone else, Herland has a wish list, too: security bars for
the windows, someone to pay off the
mortgage, plywood for shelving, 25¢ postage stamps, someone to buy the old building on NW 19th and Blackwelder, more
volunteers, a new roof, new 1plumbing,
storm windows, a computer and a copy of
The Voice in every home. If anyone out
there would like to help make any of the
above wishes come true, please CALL! ....
to all our readers: you have made it possible through the later part of this decade for
us to be here for you in whatever way we
can. You have contributed time, energy,
materials, talent, money and sometimes
shoulders to cry on when times got rough,
and we cannot adequately express how
much all that has meant to us. In return, we
promise to continue to do our best to
make life a little better for you and to be
there when you need us. As we enter a new
year and new decade, we look forward to
your continued support and to being ready
to help in whatever way we can. May you
have a wonderful holiday season, and may
the new year bring with it good health,
prosperity and much warm sistership. •

HSR, DECEMBER, 1989

7

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HERLAND NEEDS YOU!
What does Herland Sister Resources
mean to you? Many of you have passed
through the doors of both our old
location and now our new home on
39th Street.HSR has affected all of us in
one way or another: through new friendships, sisterhood, love, caring and support. We've grown through the years
and will continue to do so with support
from all of you.
We always are in need of volunteers
to either staff the center or work on the
building. We have several committees
that need volunteers, including the
Resource Center committee, Fundraising, Programming, Library, Newsletter
and Volunteer Committee. The continued success of HSR depends on
people getting involved and making a
difference in our community. We must
all work together to ensure our place in
society.
Think about this and your involvement with HSR, because without your
help we could be another statistic like
the Bookstore in San Antonio and
Several others across the United States.
In these depressed economic times in
Oklahoma it is difficult to make ends
meet and HSR fully understands that.
Many of you see us in a new location,
but we too have needs.
We know many of you give faithfully
of your time, talent and money, and we
are very appreciative of your continued
support. We cannot survive without
you.
•

8

HSR, DECEMBER, 1989

(405) 842-7577
(405) 872-8673

4801 N. Classen
Suite 147
Oklahoma City, OKJ3118

iv'

. · . HELP!!!
Herland needs you now more than ever. Herland's monthly bills:
Mortgage
Utilities
Gas
Sewage
Electric
Insurance
Newsletter printing & postage
(This cost is defrayed somewhat
by paid advertising)

TOTAL EXPENSES

$260

$
$
$
$

40
38

25

7b

$200
$638

Herland extends sincere thanks to those precious few who have sustained
her through regular donations.
Herland's new location has caused her expenses to almost triple. With fewer
donations coming in due to difficult economic times for everyone Herland is
left perched precariously close to extinction. This potentially disasterous
financial situation can be alleviated if Herland's 700+ newsletter subscribers
donated just $1 a month. Please ask yourself if Her land is worth the price of 2
Cokes or a pack of cigarettes a month to you. If so, please let us hear from you
via the form below.
PLEASE HELP!
Thank you!

YES! I WILL HELP. I AM SENDING MY DONATION OF$._ _ _ _~

NAME ________________________ _
ADDRESS _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
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Part of The Herland Voice : v.6: no.12(1989)