Networking45North_v10.no1.1996.01-02.pdf

Title: Networking45North_v10.no1.1996.01-02.pdf
extracted text: s

ERS ACCEPTS 199 5
DY MEMORIAL AWARD

- • - ~rraverse City Human Rights Commission chose Jim
Carruthers to receive the 1995 Sara Hardy /v\emorial Award.
This award was established in memory of Sara Hardy a local
resident who started the Human Rights Commission in Traverse
City. The award is given each year to a person in the Greater
Grand Traverse Area that best personifies the goals, philosophies
and aspirations of the Traverse City Human Rights Commission.
The award was presented at the City Commission meeting
on December 4, 1995 in the city commission chamber room. A
reception in Jim's honor was held immediately following the
presentation. Dozens of Jim's friends and family attended packing
the chamber room and overflowing into the hallway. Following is
Jim's acceptance speech:
I would like to thank the Traverse City Human Rights
Commission for presenting me with this most prestigious Sara Hardy
award. I would also like to thank Friends North, the local gay and
lesbian organization for nominating me. Friends North has given
me the opportunity to meet some of the most wonderful people this

OREGON ACTIVISTS MURDERED
by M'lynn Hartwell
:
The bodies of two missing women have been found in the
: back of a pickup truck, and police said Friday they were
• investigating whether the women were killed because they were
: lesbian activists.
•
Tenlative identification of Roxanna Ellis, 54, and MichelleAl:x:.lill,
: 42, was made by police late Thursday after Ellis' covered pickup
• was found in a f..Aedford, Oregon, apartment complex by a cable
: television service technician, said f..Aedford Police Sgt. Mike fvooran.
• He declined to reveal how the women had been killed.
:
The women, who were domestic partners, had been missing
• since Monday when Ellis, who owned a real estate company,
: went to show a duplex to Robert James Acremant a second time
• on the day of the murders. Relatives of Abdill said she had not
: been seen since going to check on Ellis at the duplex after she
: failed to return after several hou~s.
.
The bodies of Michelle and Roxanna were found in the back
: of their covered Toyota pick up truck the evening of December
• the eighth, in /v\edford (Oregon). Michelle Abdill, and her partner

m~:~-:::.~::::,,~::::::,,:*'*~[~-~~~~¼~;:::<:ii,,::n,:::,i~-::::~~~~fu\1::':~\W:~~u~:t::1~,:@::':~~-~™IW\..-~~• : o f twelbeve yfearths, Roxadnn a Ellis we~e lastht seent A~~dvef ModnTdhay,
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: women were bound with duct tape and each was shot twice in
• the back of the head. Both women were former residents of
: Colorado Springs (Colorado), and were actively concerned
• about anti-gay initiatives in that state. Both women were highly
: visible lesbian anti-hate activists and have been involved in
: combating the current anti-gay ballot measures in Oregon. Police
• reported that the two had received threats in the past and are
: investigating the murders as "hate crimes.•
•
Robert James Acremant, 27, who is accused of killing the two
: Oregon women said he knew Roxanne Ellis and Michelle Abdi II,
• were lesbians before he killed them. "That's someone's grandma,
: for God sake,• he said. "Could you imagine my grandma a
• lesbian with another woman? "Acremant also says he shot a
• friend to death in October. Acremant described murder as
: "maybe a little relieving. It's interesting. It's no different than
: shooting your chicken that just lost in a cockfight or putting your
: sick dog to sleep or shooting at tin cans.•

,

-

The Carruthers family (left to right}Jim's partner Scott Southwell, Jim's
mother, Jim (center holding plaque}Jim's grandmother and Jim's father.

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~ (616) 946- l 804 (This is a general information line to receive F/N

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~ Friends North, Inc., P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, Ml 49685-0562 ~
~ information.)

~

~ FRIENDS NORTH is an organization of lesbians, gay men, bi-sexuals ~

~ and their friends from northwestern lower Michigan. located in Traverse ~

I City, we provide social activities, a newsletter, phone line, workshops,
~ and a community needs fund for financial assistance.

~
~

iI THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS of FRIENDS NORTH is composed of nine i~

~ women and men elected each December. Regular board meetings are ~
~ held al Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall, Room 2 in the

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~ cafeteria the first Tuesday of every month al 6:30 p.m. Everyone is~
welcome lo attend.
~

Greg Baird
Vidor Dinsmore-secretory
M'lynn Hartwell
il
Jim lngelson-president
Tom Kincaid
Coral lombertsoo-VP
~
I
Julie Pork.er
Jim Poole
Scott SoothwelHreosurer
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i Networking 45° North, P.O. Box 562, Traverse City, Ml 49685-0562 ~
~

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NEWSLETTER COMMITTEE: Publication of Networking 45° North .

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:,;

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Editor:

~

t

Publishing & layout:

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Advertising:
Mailing list:

~
~
~

Richard Tuxbury: 271-3042
or e-mail: tux00 l@aol.com
Richard Curtis: 929-9605
or e-mail: rcurtis695@aol.com
Jim Carruthers: 922-7768
John Evans: 922-0746

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I Viewpoints
Networking 45° North is the newsletter of Friends North, Inc. I
expressed do not necessarily represent those of the board or il
~

~ general membership.

~

Il CLASSIFIED

*

ADVERTISING and notices are run without charge. ~
~ Please submit in writing or by calling the editor (and leave ad on machine ~
271-3042 or by email.)
~

!-::

=~

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~

DISPLAY ADVERTISING in Networking 45° North is available in
~ Business Card size - $25.00 per spoce per issue or an annual rate of ~
~ $1 20.00 for 6 issues. Inserts and larger sized ads are available. Please ~
i call 'advertising' for rates.

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~

~

SPONSORING POLITICAL POSTCARDS: Cost for printing 2,800

ij postcards for Networking 45° North is $100.00. To sponsor all or part j
~ of this, and to give your input, call Richard 271-3042.
~
~

§

~ CONTRIBUTIONS to Networking are welcome. letters, essays, ~

! features, reflections, and original artwork should be sent "c/o Editor" lo~
~ above address. (Networking will not accept material that is sexist, ~
~ discriminatory or sexually explicit. Contributors are responsible for ~

ii obtaining permission from those whose names they submit for ~
publication.)
~
~
~:

I

i DEADLINES:

~

;:

Issue #2 - February 15; Issue #3-April 15; Issue ~
i #4-:lune 15; Issue #5-August 15; Issue #6-0ctober 15 .
~
~
~
~ ADDRESS CHANGES: Please notify us in advance if a change is
~ coming. Call John Evans, 922-0746, or send changes lo our address. ~

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§

~

SUBSCRIPTIONS/MEMBERSHIPS: $12.00/single; $18.00/ il
couple. Please send checks or money orders to: Friends North, P.O . Box ~
~ 562, Traverse City, Ml 49685-0562.
il

1
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§

DISTRIBUTION: Networking is published 6 times per year. Copies
are sent bulk-mail in a plain envelope lo approximately 700 households. il
Additional copies are available al select local establishments. Our ~
~ mailing list is confidential and is not sold or traded with other ~
~ organizations.
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NETWORKING 45° NORTH

The Creating Change conference,
sponsored by NGLTF in Detroit last
November was a highlight of my year. WellRichard Tuxbury
organized, thorough, and focused, it was an
opportunity to learn from the best leaders in
our country about the status of the issues. It was exciting to be
around 2,000 others and to meet and hear those people I had
only read about for years: Melinda Paras, Evan Wolfsen,
Elizabeth Birch, Tim McFeeley, Lorrie Jean, Urvashi Vaid.
It was eye-opening. These leaders were normal, very hardworking people who just had an incredible commitment. I
realized that weekend how small the power structure of the gay/
lesbian community was . I felt that I had peeked behind the curtain
and seen how small the Wizard of Oz really was. I saw how
desperately underfunded these organizations were and how they
struggled to make budgets. How the staff paid personally for
business expenses while camping out on floors to save motel room
charges. I saw the lines on the faces from the hard work and time
commitments. There was no privilege for being the Director of
NGLTF or LLDEF or any of the other organizations. The rewards
were all inside.
About 12 people from the Grand Traverse area attended
Creating Change. We came back re-charged, full of ideas, and
educated in the issues. (Okay, some came back full of stories and
flaming cheese in Greektown too).
When I returned home the inevitable letdown came. It was
hard to see the direction to go-there were just too many issues
and so much work to be done. But, after a few weeks, the
frustration waned and I was left with a surprising feeling of great
optimism.
Despite the lack of funds, the overworked people, and the
general 'underdog' status of the g/1 movement, there is a
pervasive feeling that we are, well, moving from the back of the
bus to the front. Some major successes (the Hawaii marriage
progress, defeats of anti-gay referendums, far-reaching lawsuits,
the Clinton endorsement of ENDA to include gays/lesbians, and
the awarding of benefits to partners of gays/lesbians by many
national organizations) seem to be looked on as indicators of a
change in climate. And, success is often contagious.
Locally, there seems to be more optimism and commitment
from people. It is exciting to see new faces on the Friends North
Boord . Also, PFlAG has emerged as a recognized leader of the
local gay/lesbian community through numerous articles,
interviews, and media attention. Their activism on a local and
state level has attracted others to their monthly gatherings.
Other local people have started a GLSTN chapter.
(Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network). They are getting
together monthly, and there are committed, dynamic and
enthusiastic individuals who are participating.
Planned Parenthood has organized Troupe Teen Theater, an
energetic and talented group of local teens who perform for
schools and other organizations. They focus on situations of
conflict and concern to other teens, and are working particularly
on the issues of homophobia and coming out.

2

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

The proof that we are progressing is the formation of these
new groups and all the new people participating. It is no longer
the core group of Friends North, as the enthusiasm has spread to
others.
The Creating Change seminars spent a lot of time giving us
strategies for success. Their first advice? Build coalitions. They told
us that we must spread out from our cocoons of 'gay only' groups
and bring in others who share the same values of fairness and
equality. Reach out to PTAs, librarians, teachers, people of color,
churches, civic organizations, NOW, etc. This is something our
friend Sally Neal has been encouraging us to do for years when
she was educating downtown Traverse City on homophobia,
political ethics, and the environment.
With these small steps over the last few years, we have
gained ground. One of the key people has been Patty O'Donnell,
and I would like to personally thank her for all of her efforts as
President. Her constant pushing and commitment, her attention to
detail, and her spirit have inspired me and others to keep moving
forward . She held together the organization at a critical time and
provided the leadership that was needed. I am pleased that she
is staying with Friends North to work on next year's Gay /Lesbian
History and Education Conference.

Jim lngleson

On December 5, 199 5, Friends North
held its annual meeting, bringing to an end yet
another great year for the organization, and
also the kickoff for the coming year. /1/v:Jny
thanks go out to all those who were involved in
our community and with the many activities that
were held throughout the year. The success of 1995 could not
have been done without a single one of you, so please be proud!
Coming into 1996, we welcome back three remaining
board members and welcome six new members. Continuing their
terms this year are Scott Southwell (board treasurer), Greg Baird
and Jim Poole. New members include Carol Lambertson (vice
president!, Victor Dinsmore (secretary!, M'Lynn Hartwell, Tom
Kincaid, Julie Parker and myself as president.
Our short "after the meeting" meeting was full of energy and
enthusiasm, which are promising signs that we will have a very
busy and productive year. I would like to mention, however, that
the only way we can achieve the success we need in order to
continue to be a voice in Northern Michigan and beyond is if
everyone gets involved! We need to keep our organization going
and to keep it growing!~ Entering an election year, we need to
reach as many people as we can who support our community,
whether in spirit, volunteering time and effort, or any other types
of involvement with respect to the community and organization.
Throughout the year, we will be planning and organizing
many events, and we welcome everyone's suggestions. We will
continue to hold many of the "yearly" events and hope to start
some new ones as well. The aim, of course, is to continue the
good work accomplished by the previous board members, and
also to try to improve and add on to our organization whenever
possible.
I would like to remind everyone that the Friends North board
meets on the first Tuesday of every month at 6: 30 pm on the
campus of Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall. It is my
hope to see as many of you there as possible, as we will be able
to serve the needs of our community best if we have ideas and
input.
Thanks again to the previous board and to everyone else for
the great job in 1995. I hope that in 1996 we, as a community
and as individuals, will work together to reach our goals of equal
rights and social acceptance that we all need ... and deserve!

f}Jw~"(.;

FRIENDS NORTH WINTER EVENT:

The setting is cozy and quiet,
tucked high away in the hills above Suttons Boy.
Join us for a meal of chili and drinks
(hot chocolate, coffee, juice and soda).

Bay

Directions: Go to Suttons Boy, and turn left on
Broadway just as you get into town. Go two blocks
and toke a right on West St. Follow West St. thru the
village until the rood ends at Bohle Pork. We ore
gathering in the Bohle Worming House.
Bring sleds and skiis.

Business
•
Services
Inc.

(No charge for current members . $3.00 for non-members,
or renew your membership when you show up).

Accounting & Tax Service

RSVP TO JIM at 271-4510 (By February 7th, please)
NETWORKING 45° NORTH

Office: (616) 941-5748

ANDREW L. MITCHELL

810-8 South Garfield Ave• Traverse City, Ml 49686
3

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

MEETING PRESENTATION
Pally O'Donnell

I would like to thank everyone I worked with the past two
years and three months for the wonderful experience and fun I
had as President of Friends North. With my paying job becoming
extremely busy and demanding more travel these past three
months, I decided to take a breather. I will give my time to special
Unity Church - 3600 Five Mile Road - Traverse City
projects, like coordinating the Gay and Lesbian History and ~wi
Call 946-2708 for more information
%,,,)
Education Conference next fall.
=❖--1::·
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Friends North had a very busy two years with a variety of
:n*· 1
projects, and I am very proud and appreciative of Friends
The Out 'n About Lesbian Coffeehouse begins its third year on
North-what a great space to be in-a beautiful area of the state January 20, 1996 with the 2nd annual "Open Mic Dyke Night", this
and having a tremendous organization to be part of!! Everyone year coordinated by Patty O'Donnell and Joanne Papenfus (?sp here has created an organization that is looked upon as an thanks Joanne or whoever proofreads now). Our local talents take
example of a thriving and stable community organization. We the stage to entertain the winter blahs away with poetry, song,
also receive many compliments on our newsletter, from around comedy and any combination thereof. This is a fun evening of casual
the state and also out of state, I have heard statements of performance and high frivolity, so don't miss out. Anyone wishing to
amazement-up north!?! How many members? You do what? perform or otherwise contribute to the evening should contact Patty
You have done that!?!
or Joanne at 616-94 1-1702.
I have met many wonderful and beautiful people as a
February 18 is the date of our third annual auction, featuring our
member of Friends North who I call my FRIENDS, good friends- Valentine's Day Dessert-Only "potluck" and silent auction. Bring your
from the day of the Den Dances; attending a couple Board favorite dessert and prepare to power-shop. Deb Medlin is
meetings at Munson Medical Center when I lived in Harbor coordinating, so if you have items to donate for auction, please
Springs; reuniting with everyone at the /v\arch on Washington in contact her at 275-5924. The auction is our major fundraiser and
1993, when I was in the process of moving back to northern we appreciate your support.
As our success continues, the steering committee of Out 'n About is
Michigan from /v\adison, Wisconsin; and just being active since
committed
to bringing the best entertainment possible to our local
moving back in June of 1993.
community.
We have plans to bring Jamie Anderson back again in
We are a diverse group of individuals that have come
May,
and
we
are currently working on a contract with Alex Dobkin (?sp)
together to create an encompassing organization that serves
for April. There are some other exciting things in the works as well.
primarily the eastern Upper Peninsula and the tip of the mitten.
The steering committee meets on the third Monday of each
Friends North has also spurred "satellite" groups that are an hour
month to plan ahead, and we invite anyone to participate. If you
or more away from the Traverse City base that hold social
are interested, please call for details (946-2708).
meetings weekly, like the great group in Petoskey, which have
Out 1 n About is a lesbian coffeehouse, held on the third
had over forty people at one time!
Saturday of each month except August and December. The
Also, there is a group getting started in the Alpena area. We,
Coffeehouse comes alive between 7:00 and 11 :00 p.m. at the
who live in the Traverse City area think that we are "rural," but there
Unity Church, 3600 Five Mile Road, Traverse City.
are many of us that are isolated in the smaller towns and villages in
Smoke Free - Chem Free-Cover donation is $3 ($5 if we have
our service area. We continue to try and reach these people to
entertainment).
Snacks and coffee are free - soft drinks are available.
make them feel welcome and that they are not alone. I encourage
everyone to reach out to someone they do not know and welcome
For more information, or to have your name placed on the Out 'n
them-we have to work together, volunteer, and help in any way
About mailing list, call Brenda at 946-2708 - leave message.
we feel comfortable for the conttnuation of this amazing
(Please note this is for Coffeehouse info only; if you have other
questions or needs, please call Friends North at 946-1804.)
organization. Support each other and celebrate who we are!

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•

Lesbian Coffeehouse

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- Individual, Couples &Group Counseling
-Adult Survivors of Incest & Alcoholism
- Releasing & Healing the Inner Child
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- Women's Issues
- Student of SHEN Physio-Emotional Release Therapy

• Over 35 km of trails, machine set for both skating and striding from,
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(616) 947-8842
3301 Veterans Drive, Suite 214, Traverse City, MI 49684

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

4

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gaijs

A VISIT TO P·FLAG

TERRITORY

by Richard Tuxbury
I had heard only a few things about P-FlAG through the local
grapevine. Like most everyone in Traverse City, I got real
exposure to the group through the Record-Eagle article and
interview by Diane Conners that was done in November. Also,
Kathy Gibbens did a similar piece in Active Years, a supplement
to the Record-Eagle which featured interviews with many parents
and their gay and lesbian offspring. The features were refreshing
and positive, and seemed to go a step further than expected.
It was here in the mainstream press, and not through our
community, that I learned PFlAG was becoming a success. I
decided to attend in mid-November, and at this time in my life,
the thought of another dull 'meeting' wasn't exactty something I
willingly volunteer for. However, the gathering that evening at
Grace Episcopal turned out to be much more than I'd expected.
Thanks to some dedicated and interesting people, PFlAG
seems to be providing something that no one else is. The evening
began with a warm introduction and welcome by Jeff Erno.
Then, the group usually has one hour dedicated to a program.
This particular evening we were visited by Jim Carruthers of
Wellness Networks, as well as lfen and Roxane Miner and
Patrice Stewart, who had lost sons to AIDS. They spoke about
their feelings for their sons and the transitions their boys had gone
through-from high school to coming out to having lovers and
coming out HIV positive. These folks were remarkably warm and
personal, and they shared intimate details of their lives with the
group. Their stories were moving, sad, and even happy at times.
Having known Andy Miner, I was reminded of the beauty and
innocence of this gentle person.
After their presentation, and a short social period, the group
got together in a circle. We were asked to introduce ourselves
and to tell why we'd come to the meeting. The group was
facilitated by Cindy Robb and Penny Smith, who as mothers of
gay sons, have the natural ability and warmth to bring the diverse
members of the group together.
That evening there was another mother who came with her
daughter and son-in-law. They had a problem in their family and
were looking for advice. They shared their story with the group.
People responded with stories of their own - about coming out,
parents, siblings, and coping with religions that don't accept.

community has to offer. It has been my pleasure to serve this
community to help promote tolerance, protect its scenic beauty,
develop alternative energy sources and help people live easier.
Our Constitution has established that humans have rights of
privacy and equal protection under the law, giving individual
freedoms to all Americans. Homosexual rights are an issue of
individual liberty protected by the Constitution. Stereo-types of
religious right organizations and conservative governments put
individual rights at jeopardy. Equd protection is not determined by
majority vote. It exists to prevent majorities from imposing their will
on the liberties of others and until this breeding of hate is stopped,
I will continue to work for protecting the rights of all humans.
As a gay man living and working in this community, I have
found, for the most part, Traverse City a very accepting place to live.
Butfor some people this is not true. Hate and discrimination continues
to prevent them from living in peace. It is my hope that discrimination
due to sexual preference be eliminated and that my state and
community will help protect the rights of everyone by passing laws
which prohibit discrimination toward Gay and Lesbian individuals,
allowing all of us equal opportunities under the law.
Diversity has become a reality in our world today and with
the help of many kind hearted people in this room tonight, we
will continue to educate and strive to overcome the underlying
tones of discrimination found in certain areas of our country.
In closing, I would like to again thank this community for their
support and I would like to thank everyone here tonight for coming
to share with me this special occasion, especially my partner
Scott, my grandmother, my mother and my father for accepting
me as a human being and giving me the love and compassion
everyone on this earth deserves. I love you all and am thankful to
have you as family and friends. /lk:Jy peace be with us all.
Jim Carruthers.

BANKERS LIFE AND CASUALTY COMPANY
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NETWORKING 45° NORTH

There was no magic answer to their problem, but through the
stories and much discussion, the answer and path to take became
clear. The mother would only be able to bring her family back
together by telling her husband about their son being gay, and to
simply show her love and acceptance of each one of her
children.
Cindy Robb, as the local President of P-FlAG, has been
getting great media exposure for the group. Besides the articles
in the paper, Cindy appeared on the morning show on WTCM.
Also, the evening I visited P-FlAG, a reporter from lnterlochen
Public Radio was doing a story. Her l O minute audio report
aired at least 4 times during All Things Considered, later in
November.
Cindy and Jeff encourage all people to attend. The
environment they provide is warm, interesting, educational and
gives people a place to express themselves. They can be
contacted through the numbers on our Resource Page.

LINDA L. WIKLE
Agent

5

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

miracles, through the sheer persistence and determination of a
courageous few, we discovered the perfect meeting place.
The Park Garden Cafe is in the heart of Petoskey. The owners
are Mr. and Mrs. Bell, a hard-working couple with many years of
food-service experience. They welcomed us into their restaurant,
placing us in the most public portion of the handsome bar once
frequented by Hemmingway (who was, incidentally, a virulent
homophobe.J
The Thursday night group grew from twenty to thirty and
curren~y numbers about forty regulars. Every time I attend I see
someone new. When we outgrew the bar area, Mr. and Mrs.
Bell offered us a comfortable private dining room, which our more
closeted members prefer. It is never easy to attend a gay group
for the first time. Our present set-up is about as ideal as it gets.
And, we have an updated version of that classy bartender.
He is a young, hip, strikingly handsome gay waiter who is
assigned each week to our group. He greets us, by name, each
Thursday night. He is professional and efficient and courteous.
And, he is very much in love with one of the group's members, so
we don't have to worry about him being alone.
Mr. Bell, the owner, makes a point of stopping by our section
each week. He knows he doesn't need to check on the quality of
the food or service. Rather, he takes the time to say hello and
inquire about our past week. He and his wife have become our
friends.
If I seem rhapsodic, it is because I find all the above so hard
to believe. Due to the effort of two individuals, we now have a
meeting place in this part of northern Michigan . I never expected
to experience this form of hospitality in my lifetime, in Petoskey. If
you would like to join us, simply meet at 7 pm Thursdays in the
private dining room of the Park Garden Cafe.

FROM THE COMMUNITY

by Zalmon Sherwood
Forty years ago, if you were gay in Petoskey, you consulted
the savvy bartender at the Noggin Room Bar at the Perry Hotel .
He was a veritable Who's Who of queerdom. He wasn't the least
gossipy or vicious. In fact, he was one of us, and as a gay
person, he realized the importance of making the connections
within our community. If you approached him, he would discretely
drop a name or two, slip you a phone number, or point out
eligible men or women seated alone in the bar.
This bartender died last winter. He was in his seventies, and
I was dismayed to learn that de died alone. A man who had
brought so many people together had died alone and destitute.
His old bar patrons, gay and straight, contributed to provide him
with a proper burial.
What a tremendous responsibility and risk this bartender had
assumed. Lesbians and gay men felt cared for, safe, protected
under his watchful eye. It was something I longed to experience,
as so often when I enter a local restaurant with my gay friends, I
am aware of hostile stares, mocking whispers and shoddy
service.
Just over two years ago, two gay men, one from Petoskey,
and the other from Harbor Springs, decided to form a Thursday
night social group at the Noggin Room. Gay people from
Charlevoix, Gaylord, Indian River, and as far away as Sault Ste.
Marie began gathering at 7 pm . We met through the winter
months that first year, but when the busy summer season began,
the Noggin Room management informed us that tables would no
longer be reserved for our group.
We were furious. We had been good customers throughout
the slow winter season, and suddenly we were being told that
"Thank God for ... the thousand of parents who would not be
our patronage was no longer needed . From my heated intimidated by the liberal media and the radical homosexual
conversations with top executives at Stafford's Hospitality (the community," wrote Senator Gramm. He went on further to say
current owners of the Noggin Room), I learned that our growing he would take a hardline approach to gays and lesbians in the
presence was perceived as a threat to uptight wait staff and military and also indicated that he is looking forward to the
straight patrons. It wasn't that our dollars were no longer needed second coming, that he wishes for bibilical law to replace mere
during the flush summer months-it was that we were not wanted. government law, and believes that biblical teachings should be
Our group began to drift, meeting at various restaurants "imposed on America ."
throughout the summer, always searching for that gay-friendly
place as elusive as Oz in the north country. And, miracle of

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VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

f
fi.~-~~
4~
il~~
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• ~
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•

to step out and get more involved. His statement made me think back
to a few years ago living in Petoskey. I can recall how I felt getting
the newsletter was enough support for my community. I was proud
of the people who contributed articles or editiorials as I thought they
risked their lives by being out in the open. I looked forward every
month to getting the newsletter as I read ii from front to back. It was
my only source of keeping in touch with the community.
In retrospect, I was standing on the sidelines with the rest of the
crowd. It was a safe haven because I knew that if I stepped into a
larger field I would have to give something, I would have to work
together on a team and hopefully the people I had left off on the side
would know I was supporting them. I was afraid of being a voice
and to be out. I can't recall one gleaming moment when I decided
to become more involved with our community. I think it was a series
of events. My friend Tom had always talked about Friends North.
He would tell me of the incredible people I would meet and also the
coffee I would enjoy on Saturday mornings at Ray's Coffeehouse! I
think what finally got me involved was some support I recieved about
two years ago.
I was working at a local resort and in the dead of the night I sat
down at a old Smith-Corona typerwriter and wrote an article about
inclusiveness within the gay community. I have always been a writer,
I just have never submitted anything. When I finished typing, I called
my friend Tom and asked him if he could take a moment and listen to
what I wrote. He was quite taken back and said I should submit it to
the next newsletter. After a lot of thinking, I did, and it got printed.
What turned out to be a one time article has now turned into a
ongoing column in the newsletter as well as a Friends North Board
position. How marvelous and strange things happen.
It felt great to take a step out of the crowd onto a larger field,
with others and make things happen . We are at a time when we
need people to get involved . New faces, fresh ideas and personal
contributions to help us plan for the community is needed more than
ever. Currently, the Far Right has targeted gay men, lesbians, and
our supporters. According to the Human Rights Campaign, The Far
Right has raised over $213 million-in a year by using the anti-gay
pitch! While the six largest gay and lesbian groups raised just 12
million last year. These are issues that affect all of us, and together
we can move ahead. That is why it is vital for all of us to help and
participate in Friends North programs.
If you are one of those individuals who are standing on the
sidelines and viewing the organization from a crowd of others, take
some time to step out, and be part of a growing group of dedicated
people. There's support, friendship and a real since of community.
Your help, opinions and energy is what will keep us going. My
best wishes to all of you for a wonderful, productive and healthy
new year.

•

Iused to be your favorite shirt
We looked so good together
The minute you sow me, you fell in love
You took me home without a 2nd thought.
You always smiled when you were wearing me.
Iwas 100% cotton, soft yet durable, green
and purple, your favorite colors
You could COfK!uer the world with me on
Nothing mode you more happy.
You wore me aU the time, never wonting to toke me off.
You ployed in me.
You worked in me.
You even slept in me.
You were very careful not to snag or get a stain on me.
But ofter a while, you started to toke me for granted.
You got sick of me.
You rolled orourxl in the mud and dimbed careless~
through barbed wire fences with me on.
You just didn't core.
Eventual~ your favorite shirt was nothing but a tom up old mg.
And you were so disappointed in my quality that you threw me away in disgust.
Now you have a new favorite shirt to help you conquer the world.
She's a lot bke me, 100%, cotton and your favorite colors.
But there's something you shoukl know.
I'm not an ordioory shirt.
I'm mending my holes and deaning my threads.
And when Iam done, Iwill be brighter arxl stronger than you or anyone else,
including myselt, ever thought possible.
Iwish you all the luck you deserve with your new shirt.
Ijust wont to know ...
How long before this one gets old?
anonymously contributed

by Greg R. Baird
About a month ago, we wrapped up another year of Friends
North at the annual meeting and all of us are looking forward to
what 1996 will bring. The meeting was a great time to talk to
others and share some of our favorite dishes. During the course of
the evening, different people reported on their acheivements
throughout 1995 and where we stand on moving forward within
our community.
It was a time also to select new board members for the next two
years. Six new people, with fresh ideas are now part of the board!
During introductions, a new board member stood up and said that
he had been standing on the sidelines for a while now and wanted

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VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

Gay I Lesbian I Straight I Teachers Networlc
by M'Lynn Hartwell
I recenrly found out about a national Gay, Lesbian and Straight
Teachers Network from a local educator. While I know far less
about this national organization than I would like to, I really like
what I have seen so far. GLSTN's (pronounced 'glisten') mission
statement reads:

We believe that such an atmosphere engenders a positive
sense of self, which is the basis of educational achievement and
personal growth. Since homophobia and heterosexism undermine
a healthy school climate, we work to educate teachers, students,
and the public at large about the damaging effects these forces
have on youth and adults alike. We recognize that forces such
as racism and sexism have similar adverse impacts on
communities and we support schools in seeking to redress all such
inequities.

most effective way of reducing homophobic bigotry. Both
gay and straight students benefit from having role models
such as openly gay teachers coaches and administrators:
straight students are offered an alternative to the inaccurate
stereotypes with which they have been raised, and gay
students get the chance (often for the first time) to see healthy
gay adults, which gives them hope for their own future.
Schools need to create the conditions necessary for gay
faculty to feel safe in "coming out," just as heterosexual
faculty "come out" daily through such acts as wearing
wedding rings.
If no role models are available from within the school
community, the school must work to bring in such individuals from
beyond the campus.
4. PROVIDE SUPPORT FOR STUDENTS Peer support and
acceptance is the key to any student's feeling that he or she
"belongs" in the school. "Gay-Straight Alliances" have
been the key to creating such an atmosphere in many
schools. These groups welcome membership from any
student interested in understanding issues of homophobia
and sexual identity, regardless of sexual orientation. They
have been successfully established in all kinds of schools
and in communities as diverse as Los Angeles, Chapel Hill,
N.C., Lincoln, Nebraska, and Minneapolis. The diverse
range of schools which now have "GSAs" indicates that, if
there is a will, there is a way to establish one in any school.

GLSTN has also written "TEN AalON POINTS FOR
EDUCATORS
DEALING WITH GAY AND LESBIAN ISSUES."
These
suggestions are not all-inclusive, but are intended as starting points
as you begin to think about how to end homophobia in your
school.
1. GUARANTEE EQUALITY Gay and lesbian members of the
school community need to know that their schools value
equality and that they are protected against discrimination.
Schools should add "sexual orientation" to their nondiscrimination statements in all school publications.

5. PROVIDE TRAINING FOR FACULTY AND STAFF School
staff need to be equipped to serve all the students with
whom they work, including gay and lesbian ones.
Understanding the needs of gay and lesbian youth, and
developing the skills to meet those needs, should be an
expected of all teachers.

2. CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT Every member of the
community has a right to play his or her role without fear of
harassment by peers: it is the school's obligation to take
pro-active measures to ensure this right. However, in too
many schools, physical and verbal harassment against gay
and lesbian people is the norm. Schools must make it clear
that neither physical violence nor harassing language like
"faggot" and "dyke" will be tolerated.

6. REASSESS THE CURRICULUM Teachers need to incorporate
gay and lesbian issues throughout the curriculum-not just in
classes such as health education, but in traditional disciplines
such as English, History, and Science.

3 . PROVIDE ROLE MODELS Studies consistenrly show that
personal acquaintance with gay and lesbian people is the

7. PROVIDE
APPROPRIATE
HEALTH
CARE
AND
EDUCATION While being gay is not a "health issue" (any
more than being heterosexual is), health education on
sexuality and sexually transmitted diseases should
sensitively address the particular issues of gay and lesbian
people in this field.
8 . DIVERSIFY LIBRARY AND MEDIA HOLDINGS Often, the
library is the first place students turn for accurate sexuality
information. Too often, few or no works on gay and lesbian
issues are found there . Librarians and media specialists
need to be sure their holdings are up to date and reflect the
diversity of our world.
9. BROADEN ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAMS "Extracurricular" activities often set the tone for the community.

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

8

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

stopped happening to me, though I'm sure they happened to others,
and for me the namecalling probably conttnued behind my back.
But discrimination doesn't have to be overt or physical to be
hurfol, especially to a high school student. Every time there's a
reference to homosexuality and the other students snicker and
laugh, you get the message: This is about you, and what it means
is that you can't tell anyone, ever. Years later, other students have
told me they remember that time differently-that if I had confided
in them I would have found sympathetic friends. But at the time,
there's no way you can reach out for help. Counseling wasn't an
option I considered; it was even more stigmatized then than now.
I was more fortunate than many others at least I was able to
partially escape my frustration and loneliness by channeling my
energy into diving . But I still felt the pressure of isolation, and I
used other means to escape as well. I withdrew from the school
scene as much as possible. I would leave right after school and
go to the beach, a guilty secret become overwhelmingly
oppressive, and I decided to make the final escape. I stole a
handful of Valium and Codeine from my parents' medicine chest,
swallowed them, wrote a suicide note, and went to bed for what
I hoped would be the last time. I survived, but a lot of high school
kids don't: Studies show that an astounding one out of every three
gay or lesbian adolescents in America attempts suicide.
If school was tough for me, it's so much harder for many other
gay and lesbian kids. For some, it's a truly terrifying place where
they are threatened with verbal harassment and physical violence
every day. Today, all high school kids, gay and straight, face
another threat: HIV. They know it's out there I didn't. Kids need to
love themselves enough to protect themselves. And self-esteem is
what high school kids are all too often lacking. That applies to all
kids, but especially to gay and lesbian kids. They need extra
support and understanding. And yet, it's hard even for wellmeaning teachers to reach out to .them individually, because you
don't always know who they are and what's going on under the
surface of their lives.
Still, teachers and school administrators can make a big
difference. With this letter, I'm sending you a list of suggestions
on how. It comes from the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Teachers
Network, a New York-based group that encourages gays and
lesbians across the country to write letters like this one as a part of
a national awareness campaign.

Programs such as assemblies and "film nights" should
regularly include gay and lesbian content that reflects the
diversity of our nation.

l0.

DO NOT ASSUME HETEROSEXUALITY The constant
assumption of heterosexuality renders gay and lesbian
people, youth in particular, invisible. Such invisibility is
devastating to the individual's sense of self. Both the school
as an institution and its professionals as individuals must be
inclusive in their language and attitudes.

One of the most interesting efforts that GLSTN has made to
date is their current "Back-to-School Campaign." The purpose of
this effort is to get gay, lesbian, and bisexual adults to write their
old teachers or the principals of their old high schools, tell them
what it was like to be gay there, and ask what is being done to
make it better for the next generation . GLSTN has undertaken this
effort because we so often hear from educators that they don't
think homophobia is a problem in their community. We are sure
that, once they have received a letter from a former student who
tells them exactly what it is like to be gay at their school, they'll
understand the issue in a new and personal way.
The following individual agreed to participate in the Campaign
and to lend his public support to it. He has generously offered to
use a copy of his own letter to a former teacher for this newsletter.
As you can see, the power of this technique cannot be
underestimated. Please read on, and start thinking about who you
are going to write! If you feel uncomfortable signing your name,
please write anyway.

T

T

T

Dear Teacher:
You might remember me, though it's been a long time since
I was in one of your classes at Valhalla High School. When I
transferred there in 1976, at the beginning of my junior year, you
and the other teachers probably thought of me as one of the
school's most popular and successful students. At age 16, I had
just won a silver Olympic medal. I coached the boys' and girls'
diving teams and helped coach the girls' gymnastics team. The
following year, my classmates voted me best-dressed, best
dancer, and best physique. Everyone wanted to be my friend,
and I'm sure most of my peers thought I was the luckiest, happiest
guy on campus .
In reality, those years were very painful for me. Growing up
is tough for everyone, but even more so when you feel different,
as I did for a number of reasons. For cne thing, I was dyslexic,
and because of that I struggled to keep pace academically. But
even where I excelled, as I did at diving, the success was
bittersweet for me because I could not truly feel I deserved it.
When teachers praised me or other students admired me, I
couldn't help wondering, What would they think if they knew my
secret?
My secret, of course, was that I am gay. Earlier, in grammar
school, I was called names like "sissy" and "faggot" and even beaten
up occasionally. By the ttme I was at Valhalla, those things had

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9

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

i•w·~~~u·
~~ ·r«nEED'''T... -~
111

~~1-...

It's not an easy thing to do. Most of us would just as soon not
think about those dark days, much less write about them. It's over,
we think. But for millions of gay teens it's not over yet, and they
need help even more than we did.
Please write me back and let me know what you're doing to
reach out to gay and lesbian kids at Valhalla, to make their
experience easier than mine was, and to let all kids who feel
different know they're not alone.
Sincerely,
(signed) Greg Louganis

TRAVERSE AREA GLSTN CHAPTER NOW FORMING
A diverse group of Traverse City area educators, counselors,
administrators and parents held a GLSTN chapter organizational
meeting the 18th, of December 1995. If you are in education, a
affiliated service, a concerned parent or friend and you have an
sincere interest in the mental health and welfare of our youth, we
invite you to attend the next Grand Traverse area GLSTN meeting
the 22nd, of January at 7 p.m., please call 616/943-8800 for
directions or more information.

Sunday, February 18, 196
8:00 am - 12 noon

CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE!

•

Have you ever been fired from a job for being gay?

•

Did you lose custody of your children because you were
gay?

•

Have you been a victim of a crime because you were gay?

•

Were you ever denied housing?

•

Did you have a partner who died? If so, did you have any
problems with inheriting your partner's estate?

•

Do you have a story of discrimination that should be told?

We need to document personal stories to substantiate the
discrimination that we, as gays and lesbians, face on a regular
basis. In order to do this, we ask you to share your stories with
us. It might be difficult, it could even be painful, but your stories
are needed to document the need for legislation giving us equal
treatment.
We will accept your story either in writing or by interview ..
We would be happy to put your story into words for you. Please
call me, Richard, at 271-3042, or email TuxOOl@aol.com, or
you may send them directty to the Friends North mailbox.

Shamanism is the most ancient method of mind-body healing.
Shamans the world over saw illness as a break in our
spiritual essence causing debilitation and disease.

United Way "Best Breakfast in Town"
Hosted by Wellness Networks.

Trauma or negative energy from another person causes
spiritual break resulting in loss of power, soul loss or spirit
intrusion.

Join Wellness Networks of an All you can eat Sunday Brunch at the
VFW Post 2780, 3400 Veterans Drive.
Proceeds will benefit HIV/AIDS Wellness Networks.
Adults $5.00- children 6-12 $3.00- Children under 5 FREE.
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Symptom of power loss are
chronic bad luck, illness, frequent
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Friday, March 1, 1996
7:30 pm Hors d'evours 9:00 pm Audion

Symptom of soul loss are empty
feelings, depression, loss of
vitality, gaps in memory and long
grieving periods.

Wellness Networks 3rd Annual Audion
at Side Traxx Nite Club
Pkin an evening to he~ mise needed funds {Of Wellness Netwoiks direct service
pfOIJmmming. Please phone the Wellness Netwoiks office at 933-0279 to dooote an
actionable item or ID volunteer for this spedal event.

When we are dispirited, who helps us? We have doctors for
the body and mind. As a practicing shaman, Nancy
Hayward uses techniques from the ancient ones. She
journeys to other worlds and with spirit help restores
personal power, knowledge, healing and wholeness to her
clients.

Sunday, March 24, 1996
11 :00 am -6:00 pm
Ice Cream Social at Dillon's
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153 East Front Street - Downtown Traverse City

Nancy has her training from the Foundation for Shamanic
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You

10

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

Pmperty of the C ·11t\:.r
mt:;1-~,E~s·
· ,·•:l!-:Ji"T""·1·1: • ~ ~ ' ~ " ' - - ~ woman spoke from Louisville where she said volunteers went door to
"""'..,,""' cRSPEtTlff"VR'"'THF"'Jt·u·t1'r,l.,~:.rt:ffil««~,::[®;'Th1&~ door with petitions to pass a local civil right law.
I went to another workshop on Passing Local Civil Rights Laws,
11
presented by /v\att Coles, the director of the ACLU' s Gay and Lesbian
by Jim Poole Rights Project. /v\att was responsible for writing seven different nonTwo days before the National Gay and Lesbian Tasks Force discrimination laws for California cities. He said that he wrote all of
annual conference, Creating Change, the state of tv\aine voted down them differently so that he could say to the state legislature, •wouldn't
a ballot measure that would have banned civil rights laws protecting it be better to have one law for the whole state to make it more
lesbians and gays. The Supreme Court had just gone through its oral simple?• It apparently worked, because in '93, California became
arguments on Colorado's Amendment 2, in which several justices one of the nine states to have anti-discrimination laws for
asked state lawyers good questions that left activists with a sense that homosexuals. He said that ii is easier for states to pass laws with a
the Court would find Amendment 2 unconstitutional. In Detroit, two men greater number of cities having local civil-right ordinances. Michigan
has nine cities with ordinances, but none north of Grand Rapids. He
were found guilty in a murder case against a gay man.
It was a case of good liming for the conference, and there was discussed two ways in which campaigns can be run, one which is
a feeling of strength and success in our movement. Scott and I arrived very open and involves public hearings and going door-to-door, and
Thursday evening and stayed through Sunday. After checking into one he called the •stealth Ordinance,• such as Flint's. When the city
the Westin Hotel, we wandered the four towers of the Renaissance commission voted on the proposal, they refereed lo ii by number
Center looking for a place to eat dinner. We discovered that maps only. He said that such a process can work well, as long as no one
are absolutely useless in a building that consists of circular hallways in Flint ever finds out that such an ordinance exists. he said that he
stacked on top of each other. We found that it was quicker to walk prefers an open campaign such as Chicago had, which drew
the three blocks to Greektown the next night. Naturally, we ordered between 300-600 people for its town meetings, although no
the "flaming cheese.•
consensus was possible on any one thing . He said that such
The conference had a broad range of workshops, including campaigns are excellent tools for educating a community and
stopping hate crimes, anti-gay elections, creating youth support, bringing people together.
My only complaint about the conference is that there were
disabled activists, the Hawaii Marriage Case, Grassroots
organizing, and many more. Scott attended Saturday's all-day hundreds of pencils lying around, but no pencil sharpeners. I'm sorry
workshop on Rural organizing. The leader of this workshop, Flora I can not speak on the other workshops I attended after my pencil
Piterak, expressed some valuable points in the closing brunch. She wore down . I got to see a little of the film, *The Question of Equality,•
said that although homophobia is rampant in rural communities, small which aired on PBS in October, but unfortunately was not shown by
towns have the least resources to deal with ii. I was very pleased at CMU Public TV. The film is very well made and covers some great
the many people that attended the conference that were from rural issues. I attended the /IAoTown /v\adness dance, which was fun but
areas. One woman came from Spirit Lake, Idaho, where they have was all house-style music with no Diana Ross numbers. I guess that
started a lesbian and gay community center ten miles from the would be my other complaint. Friday night's concert was a real
national headquarters of Aryan Nations. Hate crimes are not limited smash, with performances by the Fabulous Flirtations and comedian
to the big cities. In a workshop on Rural Anti-violence, Jeff Langstral, Lea Deloria. I was very pleasantly surprised to hear Nel Carter
a member of an anti-violence organization in rural Minnesota, said perform at Friday night's concert.
that three out of four of the last homicides in his area were of gay
Overall the conference left me f~ling very empowered. Not as
men . The speakers at this workshop said that they have strong much by my own involvement as that of others. I guess if anything, I
communication with their local police, who assist in reporting crimes felt a little inactive among all of the dedicated activists there. /I/lost of
of violence. Kendra Kirby said that her organization in North my activism has been done by educating myself by reading the
Carolina distributed whistles to citizens in an effort to stop violence. Advocate and picking up Between the Lines at Ray's. But ii is very
I attended a workshop lead by Tim McFeely, the former director reassuring lo know that people are standing up in front of school
of the Human Rights Campaign Fund. He focused most of his boards, city councils, and courtrooms all over the country. Our
workshop on what went wrong during the push to lift the ban on gays movement has grown so large so fast. It is as though we invented the
serving in the military. Some of this key points were that we lobbied wheel some lime around 1950, when newspapers referred to us as
too late and had too little lime, there was a poor trust between gay perverts, and forty years later are building sky-scrapers. Maybe we
activists and the white house due to leaks to the press, and most haven't made it to the moon just yet, but with every new organization
importantly, he said, we never answered fears about the physical that develops to stand up for gay rights, the political pendulum will
presence of gays being in the military. He said that we needed not swing a little less far back to the right.
lo say that ii was the right thing, but to explain to people why their
concerns about the showers were invalid. I found his closing
statement to be particularly interesting . He said that the *don't ask,
LASER PERFECT PWS Inc.
don't tell" policy that we ended up with, is the compromise that so
616 • 947-1965 Y Fax• 947-1816
many of us make in our own lives when we choose not to come out.
It is the way we live our lives on a daily basis.
❖ Typesetting & Design
I attended a workshop on anti-gay elections, led by Susan
❖ Offset & Raised Printing
Hibbard, a campaign consultant for NGLTF in New York. One
❖ Malling Lists & Marketing
woman from Oregon spoke about the anti-gay initiative in that state
.0, Desktop Publlshlng Se1Ylce
that failed last year. She said that 5,000 volunteers helped in
❖ Complete Resume Se1Ylce
defeating the bill, and that they couldn't have done it without the
<
.
>
support of rural communities. She said that 80% of Oregonians did
• ,.,..... ®
5( Coples All The Time!
not know that there is no civil right protection for gays. Another
TRAVERSE CITY'S UNION PRINT SHOP
0

CONFERENCE

CREATING CHANGE"

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

11

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

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FRIENDS NORTH BOARD AND MEMBER MEETINGS: The Friends North
Board meets on the first Tuesday of each month at 6: 30pm. at
Northwestern Michigan College, West Hall on the first floor, Room
2 in the cafeteria . Everyone is welcome! (issue l)
FRIENDS NORTH RAP GROUP is a group of men and women who get
together monthly for lively discussion on a particular topic and a
good lime. Please consider joining them on the second Wednesday
of each month, 7:30 p.m. al Grace Episcopal Church, 349
Washington, T.C. Look for the Rap Group announcement elsewhere
in this issue of the newsletter. (issue l)
P-FlAG: (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays.) This is
a network of parents, friends, and families of lesbians and gays who
meet monthly to offer information, support, and a place to talk with
others about the issues concerning them. Gays and Lesbians are also
welcome and encouraged to attend P-FlAG meetings. /\/\eel at
Grace Episcopal Church every third Wednesday of the month, at
7 :30 pm. For more information call Cindy al 271 ·5045(Issue 2)
WINDFIRE: This is a local youth support group for teens and others
under 25 which meets on a weekly basis in an atmosphere that is
comfortable and friendly. Please contact Third Level at 922-4800 or
1·80(}442-7315 for location, date and lime. (issue 1)
OUT 'N ABOUT is a lesbian coffeehouse featuring entertainment as well as
a chance lo meet others from the area . It all happens at the Unity Church,
3600 Five Mile Rd . in T.C . Please see the Out 'N About calendar
elsewhere in this newsletter for times and specific activities. (issue l)
TRAVERSE CITY FRONTRUNNERS If you are interested in running, call
Paul or Jim al 271-4510 and leave your name, number, and that
you are interested in Frontrunners. We will return your call with
information on where lo meet. We're back running as a group for
the winier again. All ages and abilities are welcome . (issue 1)
WELLNESS NETWORKS SUPPORT GROUP is for people with HIV or AIDS
and they welcome you lo attend . Please drop in Monday evenings
from 6 :00 lo 7:30 al the Grace Episcopal Church library al 341
Washington in Traverse City. Every fourth Monday of the month the
Significant-Other Support Group will be meeting al 3301 Veterans
Drive, Suite 221, just north of S. Airport Road. For further information,
please call 933-0279 (issue l )
THE PETOSKEY GROUP: A social group for lesbian, gay and bi-sexual
persons is meeting weekly in Petoskey. The group meets at 7 p.m.
Thursdays. For information please contact Tim al 348-8151 or
Zalmon at 348-5079 (issue 2)
NORTHERN MICHIGAN WOMYN'S CHOIR is always looking for new
voices. To obtain more information or for a performance schedule,
please contact Deb al 275-5924. (issue 1)
H.A.N.D.S is an HIV/AIDS Network located in Petoskey. They are
currently seeking volunteers in the northern lower peninsula and
eastern upper perninsula of Michigan . HANDS is a non-profit
organization that has committed itself to helping and supporting the
11eeds of NIV infected persons. They offer a number of services,
including support groups, education, public awareness, and one-on·
one friendship support. Volunteers are urgently needed in the Alpena,
Gaylord, and Rogers City areas. If you would be interested in the
program, please call 616-526-9213. (issue 1)
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: /1/\eetings for gays and lesbians are held
each Wednesday at 5 :30 pm and each Saturday al 11 :00 am at
the Grace Episcopal Church, Washington at Boardman (across from
the Court House) in TC. For further information, call John at 922·
0746. (issue 1)

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

:

:

• <, ':

: •:

<

<

WASHINGTON D.C. QUILT: I am putting

•

together a group of people who are interested in going to
Washington next October to see the entire Names Project Quilt.
Please contact me, Tom, at 616-947-4647 or write: 208 Circle Dr.,
Apt. C, Traverse City, 49684 . (issue 3)
WAYNE STATE UNIV. CONFERENCE ON GAY ISSUES: On Friday, Feb. 9,
from 8:304 :00, WSU will present a conference titled "Gay, Lesbian
and Bisexual Issues: Multicultural Community BuildingNeeds,
Challenges, and Opportunities.• Explore new and exciting ways that
gay, lesbian and bisexual people can help strengthen and improve
the communities in which they llive. The keynote speaker will be John
D'Emilio, director of the Policy Institute of the NGLTF. Info: 313-577·
2246 (issue 1)
PLEASE SPONSOR OUR POSTCARD PROJECT: They do make a difference!
The cost for printing the 2800 postcards is $100.00. To contribute
specifically to the Postcard Project, please call Richard at 271-3042
or send a check (in an amount of $ l 00.00 or less) directly to Friends
North. We thank an anonymous donor from Traverse City and
Philadelphia for this issue's cards .(issue 6)
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS? Call locally 24 hours a day to 947·
1110. This program is sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Wellness
Networks Grand Traverse Area and is staffed by Third Level Crisis
Center volunteers. (Issue l)
THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION of Petoskey is pleased to
announce ii will begin providing public services in the liberal religious
tradition . Sunday services will be held at the Temple B'nai Israel on the
corner of Waukazoo and Michigan Street in downtown Petoskey.
Services will be held on alternate Sundays with dates disclosed in their
newsletter, Diversity,. Please call 348·3 l l 7 for details or write to us at
POB 271, Petoskey, Ml 49770-0271 (Issue 1)
HATE CRIMES WATCH: The Triangle Foundation of Michigan has begun
a VICTIMS' PROGRAM COMMUNITY WATCH COALITION . The
group will collect hate-crime information from Lesbian and Gay
victims of such crimes . For details, call 313·533-1166 or 517-753·
9823 . Report Hate Crimes! Stop the Violence! (issue 2)
GRAND TRAVERSE COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT: Their Reproductive
Health Clinic is open to women and men of all ages. Confidential
services provided are physical exams, HIV counseling and testing,
pregnancy testing, sexual transmitted disease testing and treatment,
all methods of birth control available, FREE Norplants, Depo-Provera,
IUDs, and Condoms. For more info about these and other methods
which are charged on a sliding fee scale, call 922-4630. Services
are by appointment only. (issue 2)
SUNDAY NIGHT MOVIES, JANUARY 21: 7:00 PM-$5.00 Donation: The
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Grand Traverse is offering the
second film in a new series. The Little Foxes staring Betty Davis and
Herbert Marshall. Directed by William Wyler, screen play by Lillian
Hellman . This is one of Betty's great roles . The clothes, the sets, the
drama ("I hope you die. I hope you die soon . I will be waiting for
you to die.") call 616-943-8800 or 616-947-31 17 for info.

ROOM FOR RENT: Convenient location near downtown. $250./mo,
incl. utilities: 929· l 332 (issue l)

12

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

a
December 1995
Dear Friends,
~
Just weeks ago, Lambda helped my partner
~
Patty and me win a thrilling victory: New York's
-£"
highest court overturned lower court decisions and
il
allowed me to adopt Dana, our five-year-old
]
daughter. Now, we will both be her legal
i
parents.
"""
Patty and I have been together for 19 years.
When Patty planned to have a child, I played the
role any partner would: I was with her for the doctor's
appointments and sonograms; I was the only lesbian partner at
the Lamaze classes; and in 1990, I coached as Patty gave birth
to our beautiful daughter Dana.
Since then, we have shared parenting responsibilities. Like
so many other parents, we arrange our work schedules around
Dana's needs. Patty and I have always been Dana's parents. But
it took a long court battle to allow me to become Dana's legal
mother. This could not have happened without Lambda.
I began to legally formalize my relationship with Dana soon
after she was born. A caseworker was assigned to do a home
study, and she recommended the adoption be granted. Despite
this, the family court judge denied it. We appealed, only to be
told by the appellate court that although the adoption would be
in Dana's best interest, state law would not allow it.
That is when Lambda took the case to New York's highest
court, which ended our legal battle by finding that New York law
does allow "second parent" adoptions such as mine of Dana. The
Court wrote that "to rule otherwise would mean that thousands of
New York children actually being raised in homes headed by two
unmarried persons could have only one legal parent, not the two
who want them ."
Lambda has won an extremely important victory for parents
and children in New York. But this work isn't finished. New York
is one of only five states where appellate courts have recognized
"second parent" adoptions, and we must win many more
protections for our families. Give a generous year-end gift to
Lambda today so that the organization can keep fighting in all of
our battles, for all of our families.
Sincerely,
Gail /v\essina

j

{the address of Lambda Legal Defense can
on the Resource page.-ed.

.,,

be found

~~"~~----::,,:
..
.
~
m~•~~~-~ .~1. ,ili.::_$$! ~
;§
an
e question with no answer,
with.
When hate leads to the deaths of such beautiful community
spirited people, it not only robs us all of the contribution to
humanity these women gave by their mere existance, but it robs
us of our HOPE. The hope that we are making this world a better
place for our sons and daughters. The hope that one day no one
will live in fear. The hope that we are all safe. If we give way to
fear and anger, and succumb to hopelessness, that hateful
murderer killed alot more than your dear beautiful friends and our
comrades in PFLAG. I am writing to you for the entire Traverse
City PFLAG chapter.
At our December meeting, we will have a moment of silence
for our sisters. We will mourn our loss and their tragic passing,
and we will hold our heads high with pride at our association
with them through PFLAG. We will go out into our community and
the world, with the hope that our work through PFLAG will not
allow hate to murder any more of us. In Michigan, we support
your chapter in it's shock and grief and also in keeping our vision
of hope alive in loving memory of all our brothers and sisters,
senselessly lost to hate.
On behalf of the Traverse City Michigan PFLAG Chapter
Cindy Robb

.....

.,,

.....

Dear Richard:
Thank you for your letter regarding the need for legislation to
add sexual orientation as a basis for protection in hate-motivated
crimes.
I remain consistent in my belief that violence is violence, no
matter who it is perpetrated against. If any relief to your complaint
is feasible, I feel one must look to the judicial system for more
stringent guidelines for sentencing people who prey on others
because of their sexual preference.
Please be sure, Mr.Tuxbury, i understand the fear and anger
of being a victim of senseless crime. Should legislation come
before the House for consideration pertaining to this issue, I will
certainly keep your comments in mind.
Again, thank you for bringing your concerns to my attention.
If I may be of future legislative assistance, please contact me.
Sincerely,
Michelle A. McManus
State Representative
l 04th District

.....

(Following is a note to Candace Steele, PFlAG, Medford, Oregon
regarding the loss of their friends Michelle and Roxanna}

HAIR FORCE ONE

Dear Candace;
These are the letters every one of us fears having to write. As
parents and as friends, the single fear that looms in the back
corners of our hearts, is to lose the people that we love. It is
always so very painful to lose a chi 1d or friend to AIDS. The road
to saying goodbye is a long and tough journey. We can each
have time to reach our own path to acceptance. When we lose
a valued and cherished loved one to HATE, there are no
goodbyes, no understanding, no acceptance. Hurt and anger

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

801 West Front Street
Traverse City. Ml 49684
For Appointment Call
941-8255

Mark Lizenby

13

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

''CTJ'·,,

;t1·_, 0

·0 :l!11111l11111J3'11PIIH1 101

STATE AND NATIONAL HOTLINES

LOCAL SPIRITUAL~·-- ••

Department of Justice Hotline (for reporting
Hate Crimes against gays and lesbians) ........... 800-347-HATE
Child Abuse Hotline ............................... 800-392-8222
Michigan Wellness Networks ........................ 800-872-AIDS
Gay/Lesbian National Youth Hotline .................. 800-347-TEEN

•.••w•.••.•.•.• • ••••.•···• •

The Reverend Emmy Lou Belcher
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse
6726 Center Rd., Traverse City-Home: 938-9078 .. Office: 947-3117
Rev. Nancy Hayward, Circle of the Sacred Earth ......... 616-223-7999

LOCAL COUNSELING:

STATEWIDE SERVICES
SOCIAL / POLITICAL / MEDIA

Third Level Crisis Intervention, 902 W. Front St. ............ 922-4800
........................................ and 800-442-7315
Women's Resource Center ............................. 941-1210
Rodger Lanclvoy, PHD ................................ 929-1711
Susan Breuer PHD (Frankfort/ Traverse City) ............. 352-4261
Margo Million, ACSW ................................. 947-0511
David Bl'sk
I (u.,n1
,.....,,e C'ty)
I
............................... 228-5105
Barbara Jones Smith, PHD ............................. 947-1444
Elizabeth Most, MSW, ACSW (Petoskey) .................. 348-2415
William D. Gould, MA (Gladwin) ...................... 517-426-2351
David Rushlow, ACSW, Munson Medical Center ............ 935-6385
Bay Area Counseling (Petoskey/Harbor Springs)
Margalo Bley, MSW, ACSW ......................... 348-3616
Daniel C. Doran, PHD, CSW ........................ 906-495-5061
CDRS (a free substance abuse referral agency)
808-A S. Garfield, Traverse City ......... 929-1315 or 800-686-0749

The Network: Lesbian and Gay Community Network of w. Michigan
909 Cherry St. S.E., Grand Rapids, Ml 49506 ........ 616-458-3511
Lavender Morning
P.O. Box 729, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 ............... 616-685-6061
Kalamazoo Resource Center
P.O. Box 1532, Kalamazoo, Ml 49005 .............. 616-345-7878
Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center
Suite 110, 195 W. Nine Mile Rd.
Ferndale, Ml 48220 ............................ 313-398-GAYS
http1/www.webspace.com/Ntcc/affirmations/index.htme
Lansing Association of Human Rights
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48826 ................ 517-332-3200
Capital Men's Club
P.O. Box 18062, Lansing, Ml 48902 ... (Kelly Stevens) 517-482-0860
Ambitious Amazons/Lesbian Connection
P.O. Box 811, East Lansing, Ml 48826 .............. 517-371-5257
Lesbian Alliance
P.O. Box 6423, East Lansing, Ml 48826 ............. 517-394-1454
Triangle Foundation (Lesbian/Gay Foundation of Michigan)
19641 W. Seven Mile Rd., Detroit48219 ............ 313-537-3323
....................................... Fax: 313-537-3379
email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . trijeffm@aol.com
PRIDE-Flint: P.O. Box 7014, Flint, Ml 48507 ............ 313-238-9854
Aurora Newsletter: (reaching out to gays, lesbians, bisexuals in the UP &
Canada) POB 626, Marquette, Ml 49855
Team Great Lakes
195 W. Nine Mile Rd., Suite 106, Ferndale, Ml 48220 . 810-553-3586

LOCAL SERVICE / SOCIAL / POLITICAL
Friends North (information line) ......................... 946-1804
Windfire Gay & Lesbian Youth Support Group-Call Third Level for location & time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 922-4800
or ........................................... 800-442-7315
Side Traxx Nite Club, 520 Franklin St. off of 8th St. . . . . . . . . . 935-1666
Traverse City Human Rights Commission, 400 Boardman . . . . 922-4700
Gay Alcoholics Anonymous,
Grace Church, Washington at Boardman, TC ....... John 922-0746
P-FLAG, Traverse City
POB 1705, Acme, Ml 49610 .................... Cindy 271-5045
GLSTN (Gay/Lesbian/Straight Teachers Network) ........ 616-943-8800
NOW (National Organization for Women)
Gail Trill ......................................... 938-1333

NATIONAL SERVICE / SOCIAL / POLITICAL
P-FLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
1012 14th St. NW, Ste. 700, Washington, DC 20005 ... 202-638-4200
GLAAD: Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
80 Varick St., #3E, New York, NY 10013 ............ 212-807-1700
....................................... Fax: 212-807-1806
email .................................... glaadnaU@aol.com
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ................. 202-332-6483
2320 17th St., NW, Washington, DC 20009 . . . . . Fax: 202-332-0207
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund
666 Broadway, New York, NY 10012 ............... 212-995-8585
ACLU Lesbian/Gay Rights Project
1370 Mission St., San Francisco, CA 94130 ......... 415-621-0674
HRC: Human Rights Campaign (National Coming Out Day)
101214th St. NS #607, Washington, DC 20005 ...... 202-628-4160
....................................... Fax: 202-347-5323
email ..................................... www@hrcusa.org
Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, Political Action Committee
1012 14th St. NW#707, Washington, DC 20005 ..... 202-842-7679

LOCAL HIV/AIDS HEALTH COUNSELING:
Wellness Networks, Grand Traverse,
P.O. Box 1632, Traverse City, Ml 49685 ............... 947-1110
Wellness HIV Support Group and
Family and Significant Other Support Group ............ 947-1110
Grand Traverse County Health Department ................ 922-4831
(anonymous HIV Testing Center)
Mary Dillinger, RN, Clinical Nurse Specialist ............... 935-8140
Munson Medical Center HIV Clinic ............... 1-800-847-8474
Community Health Clinic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 929-4448
(anonymous counseling/testing; same-day results no fee)
H.A.N.D.S. (HIV/AIDS Support: Petoskey) ............ 1-800-248-6777

HERE ARE SOME PHONE NUMBERS EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE: The Wh~e House (202) 456-1111; the U.S. Capital (202) 224-3121;
and some phone numbers for Northwest Michigan Residents-Carl Levin (202) 224-6221 or in TC (616) 947-9569;
Spencer Abraham (202) 224-4822 or in Grand Rapids (616) 456-2592; Bart Stupak (202) 225-4735 or in TC 929-4711

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

14

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

n

~1i~:.,t~~1~ttr,~is%1i1~~1~1~")1tia11imi1,1mt1J11,~wi11i~t\@1r.iwwt1;~~J~11.;.~~ffi:1Ei\1t11\\W~11•1t11,~maa1,~1~1r~11wr~1l1111•1••~~1~1f111r.~
!&~r«\x(•''•'••''•'•'''/'··:,~lltl'GIO'US'"''Rl'G'H1r•:t•H•E:,>,,R.
.,~.,W,''"""·""'""""''' ·"·'·""' ........... ··'"'· •• • •

THE

•

STRATEGY OF "NO PROMO
HOMO ,,
by Richard Tuxbury

NO LOCAL EDUCATIONAL AGENCY THAT RECEIVES
FUNDS UNDER THIS ACT SHALL IMPLEMENT OR CARRY
OUT A PROGRAM OR ACTIVITY THAT HAS EITHER THE
PURPOSE OR AFFECT OF ENCOURAGING OR
SUPPORTING HOMOSEXUALITY AS A POSITIVE LIFESTYLE
ALTERNATIVE. THIS SHALL INCLUDE THE DISTRIBUTION
OF INSTRUCTIONAL /v\ATERIALS, INSTRUCTION,
COUNSELING OR OTHER SERVICES, OR REFERRAL OF A
PUPIL TO AN ORGANIZATION THAT AFFIRMS A
HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE.

While the eyes of the country are focused on the courts
with Amendment 2 and the Hawaii marriage challenge, the
Christian Right has already begun their next onslaught. With
the defeats of anti-gay bills in Oregon, Idaho, and now also
in Maine, the Right has seen that their strategy over the last
few years is failing. The direct confrontation of gays and
lesbians through laws, referendums, and in the courts are
Around the country, all people need to be on the lookout
simply not getting them to their goals.
for "NO PROMO HOMO" resolutions. Accompanying these,
This 'big war' in the states has fractured into many smaller are most likely "abstinence only" health curriculum,
fights, mostly on local levels, and they often involve school
implementing a "moment of silence" in the classroom,
board issues. It's true that this strategy may be their last chance
promotion of creationism, and removing guidance counselors
to succeed, but unfortunately, this may also prove to be nothing in favor of parental counseling.
•
but an uphill battle for us.
On the national level,
The
Right
has
targeted
'No Promo Homo'
education-the last true stronghold of
"'We are very lar behind in school board elections, attachments
to
homophobia in this country. Their
education bills have
as the O.ristian Right has been winning
goal is simple: Keep gays and
been seen. Among
lelt and right around this country."
lesbians out of the schools and
them was Paul Dornan's
away from children, and to do
(R-CAJ
frightening
what they can to NOt PROMOte
attempt to pass the Hancock amendment in Congress. It said
HOMOsexuality. While they have been working on the that Congress could not fund any local educational agency
national state and local levels, their real, and unnoticed,
that promoted or encouraged homosexuality. Nor could they
success~s have been a step down at the level of the school
'affirm' homosexuality as natural, normal, or healthy ... nor in
board. Their well-organized plan of winning small and
addressing issues such as AIDS, could they present the
seemingly unimportant elections is working. They are infiltrating
'homosexual act' as desirable, acceptable or permissible.
the system slowly and methodically.
The National Advocacy Coalition on Youth and Sexual
The schools boards of this country might seem fairly
Orientation, in Washington, D.C., is tracking local situations
insignificant to the average person. However, boards have the
around the country. People are encouraged to call and report
power to restrict employment of gays, to ban books, to set the
any positive and negative developments in school board
curriculum, and to encourage their religion in the schools. They
elections, supportive or degrading policies, restrictive
have the power to determine what and how the students will
curriculum, attacks on students, etc. Contact Rea Carey at
be taught while also setting the tone for the school.
202-783-4165 ext. 49.
For example, in Merrimac, NH, the Radical Right was
successful in sneaking in their candidates this year. Within a
short time, the following "No Promo Homo" language was
adopted by the school district:

',?

1:~!!~1!!!

JanUaas ·.

custom screen printing
516 E. Eighth St.
Traverse City, MI 49686
(616)929-3610 FAX 929-9206
> SCREEN PRINTING
> WHOLESALE/RETAIL
> CUSTOM LETTERING
> GRAPHICS & DESIGN
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NETWORKING 45° NORTH

15

T-.f/llRT 11/1111/Bt EI/ERE
100% tfl1TCIRl1t ttJTTtltf
(ltftl/ 12.95

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

Attorney General Janet Reno has been asked to intervene in
the case by the Lesbian and Gay Task Force.

It could be you or I
This brutal murder has profoundly affected me. These women
were active in their community and were generous with their time
and energy. Both were involved in their church. Each was active
within their local PFLAG chapter, in fact Michelle, served as
PF LAG newsletter editor. Michelle and Roxanne were proud and
vibrant workers for social change and justice. They knew that life
was full of risks and they took them on with grace. Both women
were from very close-knit families who have stated how proud they
were of Michelle and Roxanna as lesbian, community and social
justice activists.
The national media, including, Time, CBS, NBC and CNN,
has been very sensitive in their coverage of this tragedy. Our
community can be very grateful for the fact that they are actively
distributing this story nationally. Hopefully this tragedy will wake
up some people to the increasing levels of hate crimes in our
country and the world.
The Meford community responded quickly to this
incomprehensible tragedy with the creation of a community space
in which to grieve "our fear was that too many were not able to
be grieving with us and that they needed community space."
Grief counselors were set up for twenty-four hour availability at
no cost, and a phone bank was set up and they planned events.
Local lesbians and gays held a private gathering Saturday and a
Medford-wide community gathering was held Sunday.

How can we as individuals and as a community respond?
The last thing that we should be ::bing because of this tragedy
is to pull the door closed to our closets. We need to openly
discuss our homosexuality with as many people as possible
including our family, our closest friends, co-workers we feel safe
with and others with whom we socialize. This action is vital! We
must put a face on homosexuality. Hating someone that you care
for is nearly impossible. The reason we are targets is because
many people are very ignorant about lesbians and gays. They

forget, or do not know that we are their mothers, fathers,
daughters sons, and neighbors. They do not know we are the
helpful grocery clerk or the people who stopped and helped them
fix their flat tire. They do net know we are not only interior
decorators but business executives, carpenters, plumbers, real
estate agents, sales people, computer programmers, writers, and
laborers. We are everyone. We are everywhere.
As long as we choose to remain 'the other' or "alien" then we
can be targets. To those who have been honest with themselves
and to their friends and family, I say thank you. Without your
leadership we would be ever so much worse off than we are
now. I hope that each of us will seek inspiration from Michelle
and Roxanna and that we can all make a difference by building
community and by speaking the truth.

A gay teacher in this small Grand Rapids area town kept his
job after coming out to his students this fall. When asked by his
students what he'd done over the weekend, music teacher Gerry
Crane simply told them that he had been married in a ceremony.
When the kids pressed further, Crane divulged that he'd married
another man. Cranewas a well-liked, 31 year old music teacher
who was looked upon as one of the more inspirational and
dedicated teachers in the school.
This incident divided the school, the school board, and even
families. This small community became a battteground located in
an area that has a highly conservative, Christian-Reformed
population.
In a meeting in mid-December, more than 500 people
gathered to hear the decision by the school board. The tenured
Crane was told that "the board firmly believes that homosexuality
violates the dominant moral standard of the district's community.
Individuals who espouse homosexuality do not constitute proper
role models as teacher for students in this district." The board went
on to say that it would continue to "investigate and monitor the
current circumstance and controversy and will take prompt and
appropriate lawful action when justified."

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VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

,

Studle S4 ht Traverse Cl • •
, rida
,o·s

January f1, '19
,o·s c,

-

t

us

Friday, March 1st
4th Annual AIDS Benefit
1995 raised $6,000.00
1994 raised $3,000.00
1993 raised $1,800.00
All monies directly donated to Wellness Networks Grand Traverse Area

No Cover Fridays thru Winter '96

Saturday Cover is $3.00

Monday is Womyn's Night

Tuesday is Men's Night
Open 7 Days - 6:00 pm

616,.. 935,.. 1666 > 520 Franklin
NETWORKING 45° NORTH

17

T

Traverse City, MI 49684
VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

A LOCAL

GUIDE TO BOOKS,

MAGAZINES, TAPES AND

CDS

Rick Gould
Winter is a nice time to cozy up and read or listen to
music. Here are some suggestions by local stores.
At The Bookie Joint, Shelley recommends the
following titles:
Coming Out of Shame by Gershen Kaufman and Lev
Raphael, $22.95. The book focuses on how lesbians and
gays can transform their lives by learning to change self-shame
into a positive gay identity. Kaufman says, "The book teaches
gays and lesbians how to feel whole, worthy and adequate."
Final Atonement by Steve Johnson, $3 .99. A Doug
Orlando mystery, this fun read finds the tough, gay Brooklyn
homicide cop solving the murder of a Hasidic rabbi.
The Only Good Priest by Mark R. Zubro, $8 .95. The third
Tom !Vlason detective mystery has intrigue and romance, set in
the gay community.
Sportsdykes, edited by Susan Rogers, $8.95. A sexy
literary anthology that explores the lesbian sports experience.
Thirty pieces here, both fiction and non-fiction.
And Music:
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything ... Various Artists,
cassette-$10.95, CD-$16.95. From the hit film that never
came to Traverse City, a soundtrack that is fun, fun, fun!
Phantom Center by Ferron, $9 .98-cassette, CD$15.98. Earthbeat has re-released Ferron's 1990 album
totally remixed, with new additions Tori Amos and The lndig~
Girls on background vocals.
Ain't Nothing But A She Thing, Various Artists, cassette$10. 95, CD $16.95 . Includes Annie Lennox Patti Smith
Melissa Etheridge, Sinead O'Conner and other~.
'
This is Not Going to be Pretty by HaNey Fierstein, CD
only, $16.95. Recorded at NYC's Bottom Line, this is a blend
of comedy, drama and music. Fierstein's special musical style
is, well, imagine Carol Channing in "The Exorcist-The
Musical."
At Waldenbooks, Kevin gave us this list:
Dark Angels: Lesbian Vampire Stores by Pam Keesey,
$10.95 . Author of Daughters of Darkness, she continues her
reclamation of the vampire as a sensual homoerotic being.
While England Sleeps by David Leavitt, $10. 95 . This
best-seller was off the shelves in the US due to a legal suit.
Now this gay love story set in WWII England is available in
paperback. Author of The Lost Language of Cranes.
Glamourpuss by Christian Mclaughlin, $10.95. Alex
Young is a hot new soap stud who's bubble is burst when a
tabloid catches him in a clinch with another man.
Dyke Life: From Growing UP to Growing Old, A
Celebration of the Lesbian Experience. Edited by Karla Jay.

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

18

$23. From race relations to body piercing, from raising
children to the recovery movement, this is a collection of
writings by women of different ages, races and religions to
give voice to the diversity of lesbians.
Young Man from the Provinces : A fv1emoir, by Alan Helms.
$22.95. Helms tells of his coming of age in the pre-Stonewall
era, starting with his Midwestern upbringing. His journey takes
him to New York and Europe in his self-absorbed career as a
model and ends with his self-acceptance as a gay man.
At Horizon Books, Alex gave us these suggestions:
The Key to Everything: Classic Lesbian Love Poems, edited
by Gerry Gomez Pearlberg. $10.00. Includes Chrystos, Emily
Dickinson, f'.k:Jy Sarton, Elizabeth Randolph and much more.
A good gift for Valentine's Day.
The Name of Love: Classic Gay Love Poems, edited by
Michael Lassell. $10.00. Shakespeare, Whitman, Auden to
Paul Monette, Allen Ginsberg and many more.
Virtual Equality: The Mainstreaming of Gay and Lesbian
Liberation by UNashi Viad, $24.95. Of this work, Larry
Kramer says: "One of our great leaders struggles to find
answers about where we're going and how to get there. It's
both a heartbreaking book and a hopeful one, as Vad makes
us realize the journey to gay and lesbian equality is a long
and painful one ... that must be taken by all of us."
Home Lovely by Lynne Rae Perkins, $15 .00. This local
author has told a moving story of a young girl and her mother
who move to a trailer. With the help of a mailman, the girl
finds joy through growing flowers and vegetables. Signed
copies available.
Untold Millions: Positioning Your Business for the Gay and
Lesbian Consumer Revolution. By Grant Lukenbill, $25 .00.
This book describes itself as the definitive road map for making
your business benefit from this commercial opportunity. It
defines the gay and lesbian consumer, what they want, how
to create brand loyalty, customer communication in
advertising, and more.
North Country Gardening: Simple Secrets to Successful
Northern Gardening. By Neil Moran, $16. 95 This local
author has created a practical guide to growing fruit, flowers,
vegetables and other plants. Signed copies are available.
At AB CDs, Norm makes these musical predictions for hot
CDs in '96:
Plumb by Jonatha Brooke and the Story.
Miao by The Beautiful South.
Ledbetter Heights by Kenny Wayne Sheperd.
By Heart by Jim Brickman.
Amplified Heart by Everything but the Girl.
Life by Simply Red.
Days Like This by Van Morrison
Forgiven Not Forbotten by The Coors.

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

Ren~ A. Jeffries

World AIDS Day is a day that puts life back into
perspective. There is no place untouched by this disease. Even
the small town ofTraverse Cily had close to 300 people attend
the annual memorial service held at the Central United fv'\ethcx:list
church . It was so wonderful to see so many people take time out
of their busy schedules to attend.
It was an evening worth remembering. The memorial service
had a diverse program schedule. The prelude and postlude was
of traditional African rhythm performed by Bon Foule. It really
woke the spirit and breathed energy into the church . The
invocation was given by Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher, which further
enhanced the spiritual energies in the room . Joe Bertucci
welcomed everyone, and kept the evening flowing . He also
presented the ThornasJudd award and the fvv:Jry Fisher's Family
AIDS Network award to a very deserving person, Mr. Jeff Pugh.
The mayor of Traverse Cily, James Thompkins, Jr. red the
proclamation. This officially commemorated the day as World
AIDS Day in Traverse City. This was followed by music and
poetry. The music was performed by Jeff Haas, Janice Keegan,

Glenn Wolff, Ron Getz and the Northern Michigan Womyn's
Choir The poetry was red by Patrice Stewart, written by her son
James Wesley Stewart.
The memorial names began with Joe Bertucci. You could
feel the complexity of emotions surround you as each name was
called out. It was like being enveloped by pure emotional
energy. Each name held an individual truth that collectively
toudied all that were present. Those living with HIV/AIDS need
to be remembered every day, not just on World AIDS Day.
Showing our love and support is definitely a shared right and
responsibility for all of us.
The evening concluded with a candlelight vigil/pledge
walk down main street, ending at a local restaurant. There we
enjoyed entertainment providea by Planned Parenthood's Teen
Troupe Theater. We all laughed, shared our stories and offered
support

PERRY SHERWOOD

FINE ART
200 Howard Street • Petoskey • 348-5079
"I hadn't been going to church for five years, because I
couldn't believe in anything. I wanted something I could
relate to as a woman. A lesbian woman."
"It was the same for both of us. Walking into a Unitarian
Universalist service and feeling immediately at home. We felt
welcome. We didn't have to be different people-we could be
ourselves."
"We could be together ... a couple. And no one was going
to kick us out."
"It goes way, way beyond tolerance. Unitarian Universalists
encourage diversity. And acceptance."
"I mean, not everyone is Ozzie and Harriet, you know?"
THE UNITARIAN UNNERSALISTS
for the location of a congn. gation near you, call:

•
(616) 941-8868
1"~ (616) 941-9063
•:Jlrs 9am-7pm 'Daily • Out of town pfwne 800-876-8868
1081 S. .faf.iTport 1<J,aa'West, 'Traverse City, Ml 49686 (Cownia!Square)

1-800-464--0336

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

19

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

I

HOMOPHOBIA AND ACTIVISM
by Richard Tuxbury

The meeting was long, involved and showed the many
different agendas of the participants. There appeared to be a lot
of frustration expressed by non-university people regarding the
lack of visible support to gay/lesbian students.
The result of this meeting was a decision for a PFlAG member
to attend every CMU Board of Director meeting . In addition ,
PFlAG President Robb issued a list of recommendations that
included:
•The CMU Board should make a strong statement concerning
hate crimes aimed at Gay/lesbian students. •Provide ongoing
education and sensitivity training, campus-wide, for all students,
employees, faculty. •Set up a "safe space" for gay/lesbian
students•lncrease in the current budget of $800./yr. for gay/
lesbian programs.
Cindy Robb suggests that concerned people write or call the
CMU Board members to express their opinions about their
rejection of partnership benefits to CMU employees. As well, it
would be good to express your support of the above
recommendations and that they be accomplished quickly. Robb
can be reached at 616-271-5045 for addresses.

Central Michigan University in Mt. Pleasant decided in
November that it would not offer domestic partnership benefits to
its gay and lesbian employees. This announcement came just two
weeks after CMU president Leonard Plachta promised that he
would focus this school year "on initiatives related to diversity,
equal opportunity and non-discrimination at all levels of the
University."
There is speculation that the University was afraid that the
move to give gays and lesbians equal status might anger financial
contributors. University officials denied this and said that they
surveyed other universities around the Midwest and found that
many did not offer benefits to its gay and lesbian employees. They
also stated that gay and lesbian employees weren't interested in
these benefits.
There seemed to be a number of reasons offered by CMU in
defensed their move. CMU'S director of gay and lesbian programs,
Michael Stemmeler, says blunrly, " Offering domestic partnership
benefits is a matter of equity - offering equal pay and benefits for
equal work. It is also a way to help make the campus climate more
comfortable for gay and lesbian faculty, staff and students."
later, in mid November, vandals damaged library books that
dealt with the topic of gays, lesbians and bisexuals. This P-FlAG is a wonderful, supportive group. It creates an atmosphere
happened on three separate occasions at Park Library, where of warmth, understanding and security. I originally came to Pbooks were defaced and thrown into toilets in the restroom . There FlAG for support after coming out to my family and to become an
was great concern by some on campus, while others felt that the active member. It has made a wonderful difference in my life and
to many others that I have talked to. It is really encouraging to see
incidents were not important.
In addition, the on-campus office of the Gay lesbian Resource the group grow and blossom. But there has been one thing that I
Center was vandalized, and hate messages, such as "The only feel is missing from our group . We need more support from the
good faggot is a dead faggot" were scrawled on the walls. famil ies and friends of lesbians, as well as lesbians themselves.
Again, the University administration responded with less than We have a wonderful support group turn out of family and friends
outrage, and this raised the ire of our local P-FlAG President, of gay men, as well as gay men .
I would like to encourage all of you that may not have thought
Cindy Robb .
P-FlAG as something that could make a difference in your
about
Robb took action, wanting to find a peaceful solution to what
to
attend. I feel the community really could benefit even more
life,
was appearing to be a situation that could qu ickly get out of
from
the
support of everyone. It would be wonderful to hear your
control. She immediately organ ized a meeting with all M ich igan
stories,
offer
support through the good times and the bad . P-FlAG
P-FlAG chapters, the Triangle Foundation, and CMU officials in
is
for
everyone,
so please come.
Mt. Pleasant.
Just
as
an
added
note: We have a wonderful library of over
There was not a moment of hesitation in participa ting by all
the other state chapters, and the fact-finding meeting took place 40 books and several videos that you may barrow. Please see
on November 29 on campus . "The safety of our children is being me at the meeting and I will be glad to help and offer a few
threatened, said Robb. It shouldn't be dangerous in American suggestions of books/videos that may meet your interests.
society to be a gay or lesbian person, and university campuses Rene A. Jeffries
are the last place our children should learn hatred and bigotry.
We certainly hope that our trip to Mt. Pleasant will be a strong
stand in stopping hate crimes and creating a better understanding
M.any organizations now offer some benefits to gay
for our children ."
employees' partners-but sometimes less than spouses get.
Due to Robb's activism, over 40 people met at CMU to
discuss the situation . They included: CMU's Dean of Students,
Apple Computer • BankAmerica • Barnes and Noble • City of Boston
Celestial Seasonings • City of Chicago • Colgate-Palmolive • Coors
Director of Public Safety, Affirmative Action Officer, Director of
Covington and Burling • DaytorrHudson • Disney • Dow Chemical
Gay and lesbian Programs, some faculty, and an assistant VP of
Emory University • Fannie Mae • HBO • Levi Strauss
Diversity. From outside the university community, were the Gay
City of Los Angeles • Microsoft • Multnomah County, OR
and Lesbian Program Director from U of M, Jeff Montgomery from
City of New Orleans • City of New York • NYNEX
the Triangle Foundation, and representatives from all the PFlAG
City of San Francisco • City of Seattle • Sony Pictures
chapters in the lower peninsula.
Starbucks Coffee • Tickettv1aster • Xerox

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

20

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

Scott Southwell
The NGLTF is the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a
DC based organization supporting grass roots organizing and
national advocacy for equal civil rights since 1973. It holds an
annual national conference to assess and analyze the outcome
of the previous year's work and to reenergize for the coming
year's battles.
Thanks to the financial assistance of Friends North and the
Bike Tour organizers, I was able to attend the four day conference
in beautiful downtown Detroit's Renaissance Center in early
November. I spent that time surrounded by over two thousand
gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered activists and
individuals-learning, socializing, teaching and truly becoming
energized to continue and increase my own involvement in the
pursuit of equal rights for our community. As a matter of fact,
when I returned to Traverse City, I told Jim I was prefX]red to leave
my job and become a full-time gay rights activist here!
But I'm still employed.
There were an incredible variety of speakers, sessions and
workshops:
from political, workplace, school and rural
organizing ; computer training for the Digital Queer internet; fund
raising; youth, bisexuals and the transgendered and their place
in the movement; media representation of queers; the Olympics
out of Cobb County movement; safer sex education and
discussion, along with many others.
But all through the sessions I attended, the discussions I had
or heard in the halls, in the presentations by such distinguished
speakers as Urvashi Vaid, ex-director of NGLTF, and Tammi
Baldwin, state representative from Madison, Wisconsin, even in
the concert on Saturday evening when Nell Carter, the Fabulous
Flirtations and Lea Deloria performed, I noticed a certain theme
emerging-a theme which, to me, signaled that the gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgendered movement has begun a new
direction-a difficult direction-and the right-no, the correctdirection.
This theme identified for me the most important tool I have to
fight the fundamentalist right (I do not call them religious-for they
are not) for our equal civil rights. This tool is simple to use, but as
I said, difficult.
I heard over and over the importance of coalition buildingthat it is time to meet with those who have similar goals-women,
blacks, Jews, the poor-all the disenfranchised-and to join with
them. Those who would discriminate against us are few, but
vocal, and they are very adept at the process of dividing and

PUBLISHING

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Rarker Creek Nursery
LANDSCAPING AND GARDEN CENTER

Tom Hager
Whitewater Landscaping & Lawn Care
(616) 267-5972
Gordan Coy
(616) 267-9451
7038 M-72 N.W., Williamsburg, Ml 49690
NETWORKING 45° NORTH

"The Bible containns six admonishments to homosexuals and
362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God
doesn't love heterosexuals. It's ;ust that they need more
supervision." {omedienne Lynn l.ovner

CURTIS

lm.i.l
u

conquering. Because of our gay diversity-because we are all
races, all religions, all sexes, all classes, and because we live in
every community in America, the gay civil rights movement can
not be a sefX]ratist movement. When we fight for our rights, we
fight for the rights of all-we should include all in our fight. But
how do we include this "all" in our fight, and who are they?
It is not by changing our enemies and enlisting them to join
us. It is notjesse Helms we must reach. He will not hear us. It is
not Michelle McManus we must reach. She will not hear us. The
people we must reach are those with whom we do business, our
neighbors, our coworkers, our friends and our families-we must
reach our community and we must enlist them in our battle.
For it is in the communities of America that the fundamentalist
right is currently doing battle against us. When they win, and
they frequenrly do, it is because our community does not know
us.
We must initiate what Tammi Baldwin, in her opening speech
to the conference called "the most important political act we can
do." We must come out. We must come out to those with whom
we do business, to our neighbors, to our co-workers, to our friends
and to our families.
Most of these people are good, are kind, and are caring.
And most people, if they know us as a friend, will support us. If
our communities know us, they will support us.
Again, as representative Baldwin said, "it is the millions 'on
the fence' with whom we can effect change." It is those who do
not now know us who we must enlist in our batrle.
We cannot change Jesse Helms or Michelle McManus or the
core of the fundamentalist right, but we can take away their
power to harm us. There are many of us here tonight and we
know many people. We must come out to them. They can
neutralize the fundamentalist right's agenda of prejudice, hatred,
fear and denial of equal civil rights for gays, lesbians, bisexuals
and the transgendered and they will do it for their friends. They
will do it for us.
We must come out.
Thank you.

- - - - - - - - proprietor---------

1969 S. Airport Rd.
Traverse City, Ml
21

941-2298
Fax: 941-1158

VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

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LEGISLATURE TO LEGALIZE MARRIAGE
FOR SAME•GENDER COUPLES
-National Freedom to Marry Coalition Hails Historic Step-Honolulu, Dec. 8, 1995-ln an historic first, a Hawaii state
government-created commission, specifically charged with
studying the freedom to marry that is denied same-gender
couples, forwarded a report to the state legislature today
recommending Hawaii marriage laws be amended "to allow
two people regardless of their gender to marry."
The report by the Hawaii Commission on Sexual
Orientation and the Law, whose members were appointed by
the governor, will not go to the state legislature. The
commission was created by the legislature in June, 1995, to
determine how best to address the ways in which same-gender
couples are affected by not being able to marry.
"After months of intense research and witness testimony, a
government body has finally concluded that there is no
legitimate reason for the state to continue refusing civil
marriage licenses to same-gender couples who want to make
the commitment of marriage," said Rich Tafel of Log Cabin
Republicans. Log Cabin Republicans is a member of the
National Freedom to fvlarry Coalition, a broad alliance of city,
state and national gay and non-gay groups across the country.
"They looked at all the arguments for and against samegender marriage and concluded it's wrong for government to
say 'no' to people saying 'I do,"' said Tafel.
The commission was created in response to a landmark
lawsuit challenging the denial of civil marriage licenses to
same-gender couples. In May, 1993, the Hawaii Supreme
Court ruled that the "same-gender restriction" on marriage
appears to violate the state constitution. The Court held that
unless the state can identify a "compelling" justification for
discriminating, it must stop. The case, Baehr v. Lewin, is now
before the lower court, where the couples are represented by
co-counsel Dan Foley of the Hawaii Equal Rights fvlarriage
Project (HERMPJ and Evan Wolfson of Lambda Legal Defense
& Education Fund.
"The commission's report further strengthens our court
challenge, clearly illustrating that the state has no' compelling'
reason to deny same-gender couples the freedom to marry,"
said Tom Ramsey, Co-Chair of HERMP. "If the legislature fails
to end the discriminatory restriction on marriage, we're still
confident that the Hawaii Supreme Court will, through the
Baehrv. Lewin Case. It was less than 30 years ago that courts
took a similar stand, ending the ban on interracial marriage."
The landmark report was hailed by leaders of gay and
non-gay organizations nationwide as a key step in educating
the public about how the denial d the freedom to marry harms
couples and fostets inequality.
"Many Americans have never thought about marriage in
connection with lesbian and gay people, or even about the
reality that same-gender couples form families that need
protection and deserve support," said Elizabeth Birch,
NETWORKING 45° NORTH

22

Executive Director of the Human Rights Campaign, a member
of the National Freedom to fvlarry Coalition. "The commission
did its homework, and looked at equal marriage rights fairly
and methodically. We invite the public, judges, and legislators
in the rest of the country to do the same."
The commission of seven members, headed by highlyrespected former Lt. Gov. Tom Gill, represented a diverse
range of views. Its report has already been editorially
endorsed by Hawaii's two leading newspapers.
The National Freedom to Marry Coalition is a broad
association of gay and non-gay local, state and national
organizations, working to educate the public and encourage
support for same-gender marriage.

COMMUNITY:
The honorable U. S. Senator Robert Dole seeking the
Republican nomination for President of the United States has been
flying in jets owned by Carl Lindner, the banana king, while
paying for his airline tickets with frequent corruption, i.e., pushing
U. S. Congressional legislation to help the Cincinnatibusinessman sell more Chiquita bananas.
Wonder why our marvelous media never thought to check
on the planes that Senator Dole is always flying hither, dither, and
New Hampshire too?
Another thing that the "media," in its love affair with retired
General Colin Powell, failed to make anything of was that Gen.
Powell as a major was in charge of the initial /1/'vJi Lai massacre
investigation in Viet Nam and reported back that there was
nothing to the rumor, Powell neglected to even interview the
soldier who reported the massacre. And this great general of the
Gulf "WAR?" whose memory was so acute in his autobiography,
failed to remember things in the l 14 times during the Contra
hearings in which Oliver North starred.
Only Ronald Reagan failed to remember more dramatically
than Powell.
Yes, the Republicans are the party of honorable hypocrites
and their multi-millionaire media cohorts are also honorable, but
not very good reporters.
M'Lynn Hartwell)

DUNESWOOD
in NORTHERN MICHIGAN

a woman's resort with 12 private
housekeeping rooms nestled on 7 acres
of secluded woods. Also in nearby Glen Arbor,
MARGE & JOANNE'S B&B
Open all year, no pets, WOMEN ONLY.
Near Traverse City. For info: Marge & Joanne's,
PO Box 457, Glen Arbor, MI 49636
(616) 334-3346.
VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

""liJl!~~l~PJ!~r, ~
Last November, Kirk Morcicky and Christopher Schema
were found guilty in the 1994 murder of Gary Rocus in
Dearborn Heights. As you know, this was a case in which the
Triangle Foundation played a pivotal role . In fact, the police
have repeatedly given public credit to the Foundation for
assisting them in the original investigation. For their part, the
police and prosecutors have become outspoken advocates
against anti-gay violence, due to their work with the Triangle
Foundation .
As the killers of Gary Rocus head to prison for the rest of
their lives, Triangle heads toward the next gay murder trial: The
People vs. Jonathan Schmitz, in the killing of Scott Amedure.
This is, perhaps, the highest profile case with which they have
ever been involved . Their advocacy has already made a
significant impact in this case with the public arguments with
Richard Thompson on the issue of naming this murder a hate
crime.
Following this, many media outlets began to report this
case as a blatant example of anti-gay violence, repudiating
any notion that there is any level of acceptable defense for the
crime.
Similarly, the terrifying attack on their office in June, which
left Treasurer Henry t-v\esser seriously wounded from a gunshot
wound threw them into weeks of personal concern for Henry,
as well as experiencing the ironic task of being their own client
as victims of violent crime. Thus the summer began in confusion
and with disruption and never seemed to rise out of that mode.
These unplanned, but unavoidable demands on their time
and energy severely tax the personnel and financial resources
of the Triangle Foundation . They arise even while they
somehow continue to field up to 50 calls a week for victim
assistance, while they respond to routine press inquiries about
any number of gay/lesbian-related media stories .
Their unrelenting advocacy in the murder cases has
consumed their resources for the r:ist year. In addition, please
remember that they operate with only one full-time, paid staff
person and that he is only paid about $1,000. a month . And,
the efforts in the Amedure and Rocus murders cost at least an
additional $6,000. that was unplanned .
As you may know, Triangle Foundation played a role in
the NGLTF Creating Change Conference, and also found time
to host a national Roundtable conference of Anti-Violence
Projects.
In order to continue this work on a level of professionalism
which is their trademark, they need money more than ever.
Please consider assisting them in our efforts. Their address is
located on our resource page, and they may also be found on
the World Wide Web at http://www.tri.org
(Note: This article was edited and reformatted and was based
on an informational letter from the Triangle Foundation to
Friends North. -editor)
NETWORKING 45° NORTH

23

LAUNCHES NEW, ONE•0F•A•KIND
WORLD WIDE WEB SITE:
HTTP://WWW.HRCUSA.0RG
~c!~,i~~~eii;~

~
TQN FUND

Track Members of T ~ A
Congress on Lesbian
fll
and Gay Issues, and Send Instant f-..Aessages
Washington-The Human Rights Campaign launched its oneof-a-kind World Wide Web site this week in conjunction with
the official introduction of changes at the organization which
reflect a new approach to building political strength,
membership and enhancing the dialog about lesbian and gay
issues with America.
The Human Rights Campaign's site on the World Wide
Web, a burgeoning, user-friendly part of the Internet, can be
found at http://www.hrcusa .org. The site features information
about issues that affect lesbian and gay people, information
about the work of the Human Rights Campaign, and how to
get more involved in the political process . The site will also
provide links to other gay-related Web sites.
The center-piece of the Human Rights Campaign Web site
is the Action Center which is accessed by clicking the "Take
Action" button. Users are prompted to enter their zip code,
which brings up a page with their U.S. representative and
senators . After clicking on their member's name, that member's
up-to-the-minute voting record on lesbian, gay and AIDS issues
is displayed. The user then has the option to send that member
a message, regardless of whether or not that member has a
public e-mail address. As the 1996 election season
approaches, the Action Center will also include information
about presidential, House and Senate races. Again, users will
enter their zip code to display races in their area, which
background research on candidates' positions on gay and
lesbian issues .
The Human Rights Campaign, America's largest national
lesbian and gay political organization, envisions an America
where lesbian and gay people are ensured of their basic equal
rights-and can be open, honest, and safe at home, at work,
and in the community.

New Gay AA location

Selected
Grace Episcopal Church at the corner of
Washington and Boardman Streets will host the group
at the usual times: Wednesdays at 5:30 and Saturdays
at 11 :00 am.
Contact John at 922-0746 or Tom at 947-4647.

VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

by John Evans
When I asked our incoming president, Jim lngleson, what his
position was at Sugar Loaf he said "I'm in convention sales and
services ... the SMERF market... little blue people who like to go
to resorts - NO! - it stands for social, medical, educational,
religious and fraternal groups."
This is Jim's second time around with Sugar Loaf. He first
came to Traverse City in mid-I989.
"When I originally came I had been working in Ft. Wayne
for Hilton for a number of years and I decided that I wanted to be
back up in Michigan where I could ski more ... worked at
Milliken's for about six months while I looked for a job - that's
when I got my job at Sugar Loaf ... I didn't get too involved (with
Friends North) until the fall of that year - Tom Kincaid was one of
the first persons I met."
Jim was elected to the Friends North board and served a
shortened term in 1990. He continued his work at Sugar Loaf, but
much of his spare time was devoted to caring for his mother, who
died of cancer around Christmas of 1992.
One of eight children whose father was Dean of Students at
Kirtland Community College, Jim was born and raised in
Roscommon. He attended Northwood Institute in Midland. "I
went down there to study fashion illustration. As a student I did
one ad for Saks Fifth Avenue - it was published in the Free Press
- the only thing I ever had published - one of my guest instructors
was from Saks - she had greater faith in my ability than I did! I
was at a point when I was trying to figure out 'was I gay - was I
straight?' I wasn't as convinced as she was. I ended up getting a
job as a waiter ata restaurant in Bay City in fall of my sophomore
year. Three months later I was assistant general manager ... so
somebody saw some hotel ability in me and I've been doing it
•
II
ever since.
After four years in Midland Jim moved to Ft. Wayne to take a
job with the Hilton. "My next move was to Nashville to work for
the Hermitage Hotel. I was reservations manager and special
guest arrangements manager. Dealt with all the stars. Meta lot of
people. Lionel Richie told me one time 'The thing I like about you
is you treat me like I'm just myself.' I thought 'Sorry, I'm too busy.
You're just one more person who needs something!'
While in Nashville Jim did an apprenticeship through the
Tennessee Chef's Association and became a certified chef. As
Jim said, "It was another case of 1:-.eing in the right place at the
right time with the right attitude."
One nightJim and a friend were on their way to see the drag
show at the Carousel Bar when the friend asked to stop in at a
new gay restaurant because he knew the owner.
"The owner and I hit it off right away. Then the chef and I got
talking. I have always liked food preparation - I think I was seven
when I learned how to make spaghetti. An Italian woman down
the street from our house spent hours teaching me. Anyway, this
chef is the one who gave me the idea of going through the
program. I worked with him for about a year and did all the
testing. He left the restaurant after a year and I continued another
year. I did this at night while working for the Hermitage during
the day."

NETWORKING 45° NORTH

Eventually Jim left
the Hermitage and
became
full
time
assistant chef at the gay
restaurant. After about
five years he left the
restaurant and went to
work in Ft. Wayne
again at the airport
Hilton, but when a
Colorado firm bought it
Jim lngleson (he swares that is not a
out, Jim soon left and ~ ~ ; _ h i s _hand
came to Traverse City
for the first time.
During this period he met his current partner, Kevin. When
Jim lost his job at Sugar Loaf in 1993 they moved back to Indiana
for a year and eventually settled in /v\adison, Wisconsin where
Kevin could continue his studies. On a Christmas visit Jim called
up the folks at Sugar Loaf and was offered his present position.
They moved back to Traverse in early 1995 within two weeks of
the offer.
We got to talking about our families and their acceptance of
us as gay men. "I came out when I was 28 years old ... the day
after my niece's wedding at the farm - met no resistance, just
acceptance: 'We love you, always have, always will.' And it's a
big family- eight kids, 32 nieces and nephews, 17 great-nieces
and nephews. The only comment I got was my brother said 'Do
you really kiss boys?'"
"I don't hesitate to tell people how it is and how I see it. You
can hate someone you can't see, but if it is someone you can see
and you like them, it melts away a lot of the prejudice ... I was
raped when I was eleven years old. I've had people ask me if I
was gay before that. And I really believe being gay is something
you are born with ... In a family of eight kids I was treated the
same as all my brothers and sisters."
We talked about the successful events of the past year and of
the necessity for continuing to have programs that draw people
together. "I just hope that we'll make an effort to continue to try to
reach as many people as possible. We need to find a way to
generate more members in small towns where there are people who
think they are alone. And this election year: get people thinking about
voting - it is one of the most positive steps we can lake."

24

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VOWME 10 • ISSUE 1 • JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1996

Part of Networking 45° North : v.10:no.1(1996:Jan./Feb.)