LesbianPrideNewsletter_v4.no12.1999.12.pdf
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Volume IV, Issue #12 (of 12) - (48) December 1999
'---------------------(1-,.
© 1999 Makaw Press
Forgive, and Remember
No matter what your religious preferences, the
December holiday season is generally a time of peace
and giving, and reflection and gratitude. It is a time to
spend with family and friends, a time to renew faith
and practice forgiveness, a time of celebration and joy.
And if you have no religious preferences at all, then
hopefully this time of the year still reflects those
feelings (the same as any other time of the year).
There are many stories we have come to know
that tell us about the true meaning of the Christmas
season. This year, I think I'll add to my own repertoire
the Shepard family's story of tragedy and forgiveness.
Matthew Shepard, as you no doubt remember,
was a Wyoming University student who was savagely
beaten and hung on a fence to die a little over a year
ago. He <liu1t'l die ilte1e, out he never regained consciousness and he did die a few days later in a Fort
Collins, Colorado hospital.
One of his murderers, Aaron McKinney, was
recently on trial for the crime. The prosecutors proved
their case and sought the death penalty. I thought that
sounded like a pretty good idea, except that I thought a
thrashing (a slow and tortured death) would be a more
appropriate consequence for the murderer than a
sterile and quick state execution.
You see, the older I get, the more I tend to think in
an Old Testament, eye-for-an-eye kind of way. For
what he did to Matthew Shepard, I don't think any
form of punishment would be too harsh for Aaron
McKinney (I felt the same way about the murderers of
James Byrd). Sometimes in these days of horrific crimes
against human beings I think the harsher the punishment, the better. I am beginning to feel my own kind of
hate.
But Matt Shepard's parents didn't see it that way.
After the guilty verdict, they talked with prosecutors of
forgiveness and moving on, and ultimately accepted a
life sentence instead of demanding another young
man's death.
I am trying to learn from that act of forgiveness.
And it's hard.
A-:
..
,.
, '
The Shepards, particularly Judy, Matthew's
mother, have also been speaking out publicly about
hate crimes, and what this past year has meant to them
and their family and friends. And Judy isn't just
talking to try to change the minds of the McKinneys
and Hendersons (the other murderer) of the world, she
is trying to reach the people who remain silent whenever hate raises its head. From that I am trying to
remember what I already know.
I know we won't necessarily change the world by
trying to change the Ku Klux Clan or the Aryan nation,
or the white supremacists or the religious f~atics I've known that for a long time. The way to change the
world is one person at a time, starting with your own
family, your own neighbors, your own friends.
The way to stop the groups who hate is for everyday people (including Christians who believe we are
all God's children) to say Enough! We will no longer
toleratethe hate and the killing!
The people who can make the difference are the
people who know hate is wrong, but who don't think
it's their problem - the people who empower haters
through their very silence, the people who turn and
look away when someone goes berserk and kills or
maims an innocent human being. We are all in this
together, and we need to start taking care of one
another.
Judy Shepard has found a way and a strength to
lead, to forgive her son's murderers and to try to turn
her pain into something positive in the world. She has
forgiven the men who killed her son, but she remembers what they have done, and she is seeing that others
remember also.
That's a lesson we've learned from history, whenever we care to remember it. It is good to forgive, but it
is by remembering that we can ensure it never happens
again.
Judy Shepard is my shining Christmas star this
season, as I learn from her about forgiveness and
remembering, and· turning to positive action instead of
toward my own feelings of hate.
- Mel Wltite
Small steps, making progress ...
DENVER APPROVES A REGISTRY
A TROLOGY
by Stacy Chandler
For Lucky Lesbians born under the sign of
SAGITTARIUS
(Nqvember 22- December 21)
Archery by court, is not your sport.
Acclaims you abhor; medals you adore!
Thy name lives evermore,
as well as legends before.
All of your adventures
become enchanting folklore.*
At the end of last month, Denver City Council
approved a registry for committed, unmarried couples.
The vote was unanimous, and witnessed and celebrated by a number of same-sex couples (who gave the
Council a standing ovation).
Filing with the registry is not the same as being
married, nor will it affect inheritance rights, but it is a
step in the right direction to protect the rights of
committed couples (whether they are gay or straight).
Denver's new registry is the second one in
Colorado (Boulder did it first). The state of California
also has a registry, as do 35 cities and 25 states nationwide.
Get your free autographed copy!
HAPPil..Y EVER AFTER
by
Stacy Chandler
,. Be warned: The views expressed above do not
necessarily reflect the aura of the cosmos!
$12 ppd.
SPECULATORS, INC.
P.O. Box 99038
Troy, MI 48099
ISBN 0-9639185--0-8
Award winning Lesbian poet
Anne Wilson
presents her newest book:
Beloved Muse
$7 each (signed copies, includes postage/handling)
Rainfever Productions
% Wilson, 390 W University #26
San Diego, CA 92103
Change of Fonnat
Partly because it's the new Millennium and I feel I
ought to do something different, there will be a change
in format for this newsletter starting next month
(mostly, though, it's because it will be much easier for
me). Instead of printing on 11X17 paper and folding it,
I'll be printing on 8.5Xll and folding that. The newsletter will arrive in your mailboxes the same size as
now, but when you open it the pages will be smaller.
You'll still get the same amount of stuff, and I'll also
continue to put tape on the end and leave off any
mention of the word lesbian or gay on the covers. - Mel
Jr
70omen J2im.ing ~
700-m.en
~
For a change in your life, we invite
you to try: THE WISHING WELL.
Features current members' selfdescriptions (listed by code), letters,
photos, resources, reviews, and
more. Introductory copy $5.00 ppd.
(discreet first class). A beautiful, tender, loving alternative to "The Well of
Loneliness:· Confidential, sensitive,
supportive, dignified. Very personal.
Reliable reputation, established 1974.
Free, prompt information. Women
are writing and meeting each
other EVERYWHERE through:
i
g1u 70ithing, 70dl
PO Box 178440
San Diogo CA 92177•8440
(619) 270-2779
laddiawww@aol.com
http://www.adcw.org/mombore/wishingwell
.
9~V~Aff{¥~wrw
1oday w~~CM"L~~~foyqui.et"r-eflectiorv
CM'\dtfoy
w~
~Pea,C,e/
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I »ul3/ not" be- pe,rfe,a, but today I {oy<jfiN~~!elf
I donft" lw~ u:pto- ~ OWV\Ilt"~c:4:
foy cili of th,e;,L~
Send us your favorite affirmations and we'll share them with everyone.
I am a gift-giver to the universe.
Holidays and giving don't have to be equated with commercialism. Thinking
about the tradition of offering presents, I reflect on giving the intangible. I give a
gift of myself to those I love whenever I share my time, my energy, my thoughts,
my feelings. When granted without reservation, these gifts are truly priceless.
In my same-sex orientation, I deal with a world that often discounts what I
have to offer. Today I affirm the special talents and wisdom I bring to the benefit
of all around me. Moving beyond the desire for acknowledgment of my gifts, I go
about my living .without apology; My reward is the satisfaction of being able to
contribute. I off er the gift that is me to the universe. -_
•
- Eleanor Ruth Wagner in Lavender Reflections
Reminder:
Measuring yourself by anyone else's process,
achievements or life circumstances
is a violation of your own veiy tender, delicate being.
Remember, always, each of us has:
different lessons we're learning, different learning styles
and different inner timetables for our own unfolding.
Robin Posin from Rememberings and Celebrations,
a 64-card deck of
Loving Reminders of the Great Mother's Voice
Our Je/r lov~ and our lov~for our IJ(ilj/ J,4ft"er;,,and brother;,, ar~ the, car~ of
our rev~~
andthi6,,lov~ulrunacelj!
~~wgether
no--maft"er
wluu-our ea-ertor diffe,renceror
op~
- Karla,Ja:Y
GRANTS $500-$5000
TO INDIVIDUAL WOMEN AGE 54
+
for projects in any field that enrich and empower
the lives of women. Write for instructions (include
SASE). The Thanks Be To Grandmother Winifred
Foundation/LP, PO Box 1449, Wainscott, NY 11975
Don't forget the advertisers in
LE:59/AA/PRIPE /.JEW:5LE,,ER
have great holiday gifts
for the people you care about most/
Do You Know About ... ?
Discover me.
Purple Roofs
GBF poet has poetry book to share with others.
Story Book Time by Hilda L. McMullins.
$14.95 & 2.95 shipping/handling
The Edwin Mellen Press
PO Box 450, Lewiston, NY 14902-0450
phone 716-754-2788
fax: 716-754-4056
The folks at Mongoose On the Loose, a gayowned web design business, recently launched Purple
Roofs, a new online directory of gay-owned and gayfriendly places to stay in the United States, Canada and
Mexico. The site already has close to 500 listings, arranged by state and city in an easy-to-use format.
Visitors to the site will find contact info, concise
descriptions of the properties and other links that make
finding a welcoming place to stay easy. Visitors can
also sign up for a free monthly e-mail newsletter.
There's no charge !o access the new site, and
Purple Roofs also offers free basic listings to gay and
gay-friendly innkeepers. Check it out!
PurpleRoofs@mongooseontheloose.com
http:/ /www.mongooseontheloose.com/ purpleroofs
GOLDEN THREADS
i ■ • worldwide
network
de ■ igned
linea ■ and isolation
among midlife
Le■ bian ■.
GOLDEN
is
r.ont~c.t_
• discreet
women over
ia excluded
to: GOLDEII'
to
end ~oneand older
THREADS
:pu!:ti i~at~_?Jl
50, ·and
yOunger
becau ■ e of her
THREADS P.
Richford,
VT
05t76-0065,
GOLDEll'TREDlaol.coa
See
for
L:.t11biar..
Lesbian■ (no
age).
0.
Bo"
or
u■
■ end
woman
a SASE
65,
email:
at,
http1//aeaber ■ .aol.coa/9oldentred/index
.bta
Sample copy mailed
di ■ creetly $5.
US/Canada
(US dollar ■) Other countrie ■ $10
Po ■ tal Money Order)
(US dollar ■, International
LAVENDER REFLECTIONS
by Eleanor Ruth Wagner
A book of affirmations for lesbians and gay men.
Meditations & quotations with photos & holiday entries.
Great gift for yourself and for those you love.
Personally autographed by request;
$10.95 ppd. from author:
5529 Vernon Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55436
Rememberings and Celebrations,
a 64-card deck of Loving Reminders
of the Great Mother's Voice
available through Robyn Posin
Box 725, Ojai, CA 93024
•
(805-646-4518}
www.forthelittleonesinside.com
The Queen Of England
Quentin Crisp, who died November 21, 1999,was
Gay History itself. His early 1968 coming-out autobiography, The Naked Civil Servant, made for a role model
where there was none, for crossing the gender lines as
if they weren't there, for a wonderful television movie,
and eventually for a full length film in 1975.
He was indeed regal, and in fact he played the
Queen of England in the film of Virginia Woolf's
Orlando. And he played her well! He used to say of this
role as Elizabeth I: 11God was it type casting. 11 In later
years he knew well his own healing strength and
would say to activists and foundations 11USE ME.11
That we did, on AIDS benefits, television documentaries, parades, and interviews. Crisp wrote a
number of other books but is perhaps best known for
his one-man show 11An Evening With Quentin Crisp, 11
in which he was, at age 90, still touring. Born in 1908,
he was an out and cross-dressing gay in London's
19201s and 30s, a feat in those days nothing short of
suicidal. Although the lesbigay community will
remember him as a humorist and raconteur, perhaps •
his single greatest legacy is that he lived to die a
natural death.
-Sandy Rapp
savvy
SappSuggestions POETRY AA/P MORE~
AA/NE ll/lL:50A/
forSuccess[
esbian
livin
Dear Savvy Sappho,
My lover just came home with 42 chinchillas in
cages! Last year she was into home P.J. party
wear. She looks terrific in bed, but we're still two
grand in the hole. How can I get her to give up
these money sucking schemes?
Signed, Shirtless
Dear Shirtless,
Before she unloads her new money making
adventure, sit her down with a pen and paper and
calculator to see if and how this idea is going to add
up. If it looks good, you'll have to go and get 100
pounds of chinchilla chow and 400 pounds of
shredded newspaper. If it doesn't add up, send her
back to the salesperson who talked her into this
scheme.
-SS
Dear Savvy Sappho,
I want to be non-traditional for the holidays this
year, because Scrooge has bitten me in the butt.
Will bolts of lightening get me if I try this?
Signed, Rebel
Dear Rebel,
I hope not! Breaking with tradition gives you
more of a feeling of control over your life at this
time. You'll be surprised that with just a little effort
(no TV, no paper, no phone, no relatives) you can
completely overlook any holiday season you
choose.
-SS
White Sage/Black
Sage
White sage, black sage,
osha root gathered
before the dawn;
herbsforsmudgesticks
dried in the storeroom,
tied with embroidery silk
for burning.
Red chili, green chili green/or roasting,
savory on fry-bread,
pungent in the stews;
red, for drying in ristras
from adobe walls,
red for thick,_ winter sauc~s.
Cedar smoke, pinon smoke,
pinon-nuts, golden roasted
and melting like butter.
Smokescent lingering
like arcane secrets
and precious oils
rediscovered
by New World pharaohs.
Lemon grass by the river,
old women nod in passing.
© Anne Wilson, 1997
This month's Sawy Sapphic Suggestions
You May Have Mail
by Stacy Chandler© 1999 Stacy Chandler
If you have questions
that need some sawy Sapphic suggestions,
send them along to Sawy Sappho,
% Makaw, PO Box 5812, Denver, CO 80217
You can now use PlanelOut on the Internet to get
your email from any computer with Internet access!
You don't have a login name, but it's easy (and free) to
get one. All you have to do is go to
http;/jwww.planetout.com/mail
This Time It's Personal
No-art'~
~t'~
w~ of her
t'~
SM/
It"wjt.M,tthat'other!'CU"e-
w
~~t'~
- MCLVthcv
Gva,ha,m,,
PlanelOut Personals are even better than ever
these days, and they' re still free. Browse through the
thousands of profiles in the database - you might just
run into someone you'd love to know.
http://www. planetout.con,/personals
Christmas Carols (for the Psychiatrically Challenged)
(no this is not a Letterman spoof)
Press Pass Q a professional
newsletter for people who work
in the gay and lesbian press, re. cently asked readers to vote on
the top 10 gay-related news
stories of 1999. Here are the
results:
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings
Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets
and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Russes and Trucks
and Trees and Fire Hydrants with boughs of holly
PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry,
I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why ...
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jtngle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell_Rock, Jingle·Bell, Jingle Bell, jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock ............(better start
again)
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On the First Day of
Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting
on an Open Fire. •
Wnel"I/I w~a,w~hoy~du,ng;
Harvan:bbi:rtlied~
hur~ab
Je1(/
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~
I ha,ve,,wt-been,~to-have,
- SCU'ldvOubow.sJ:,i,
At" a, tune, Wnel"I/,J01ne, tf ~wt'l/
tile/ need fo-ra, ;,trong,,
~ andga;y adwr13$
we,;ay we, want-to-keep ~
our JWY~our
wa;:y.It" Wal1/act' ef tr~eJ,1,io-n,
whi:cl,,,
conr~ to-he-~uzt
to-tile/ culrurat healtll/ef a~er~
.society. It" Wal1/act' ef pota-'u:ab ~ whi:cl,,,
w~tab
to-ga;y me+'l/and ~
- lJe,y l~
1996
A~
tiCt:Yt:U1d L~Man:lt,,(ira.r
11orno6eXUae ity_is not a four-letter
word/
1. Matthew Shepard's murderers
trial and conviction
2. New Jersey Supreme Court
strikes down Boy Scout's (antigay) policy
• 3. Canadian Supreme Court
strikes down the heterosexual
definition of" spouse"
4. Openly gay Jim Hormell
becomes Ambassador to
Luxemborg
5. Britairtends ban on gays in
military
6. California passes domestic
partnership bill
7. Gay issues are prominent in the
2000 presidential campaign
8. Falwell meets with Mel White
(the gay guy, not the editor of this
newsletter) and activists, and
agrees to tone down rhetoric
9. Congress fails to pass hate
crimes legislation
tlle/hathr~ef
Pr~efStdnej,t,
Top Ten News Stories, 1999
10. United Airlines surrenders in
dispute over San Francisco
domestic partnership ordinance
Univjjjj~~~,u
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OK
M 001 024 349
Sandy Rapp's
We The People
10 original feminist songs include
"Remember Rose: A Song For Choice"
(featuring guest vocal by Bella Abzug),
"Everyone Was At Stonewall" and
Ten Percent. CD $15/Tape $12
Sandy Rapp, Box 1191, Wainscot, NY 11975
(NY residents add sales tax)
SandyRapp@aol.com
516-329-5193
12/99
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