LesbianPrideNewsletter_v7.no3.2002.03.pdf
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VOLUMNVII, ISSUE3, March 2002
© 2002 MAKAW
They Stood Up
by Joani McBride
I work for one of the nation's larger retail companies, Home
Depot. l am a middle-aged, transgendered lesbian, and I am proud of
my company.
Home Depot received some not-so-good press in the gay community this year over the lack of inclusion of sexual orientation in our
non-discrimination policy statement. The company stated that it does
not discriminate and an explicit statement was unneeded. But our glbt
community stood up and demanded more. Our demands were met.
However, I want to point out that Home Depot really did mean
what it said about not tolerating discrimination.
This year I had a supervisor who wasn't wonderful in his
attitudes towards women; he disliked gay women and really had a
problem with this transgendered, gay woman.
He was nasty, nasty, nasty and I was in tears on a weekly basis
from his attacks. Of course, I responded by minimizing and becoming
determined that if I were just gracious enough and worked hard
enough I would win him over. Sound familiar? Right?
I finally complained to our assistant manager (twice), as did
two of my colleagues, about his treatment of me. Nothing changed.
Then after one more of his tirades and my tears, a different assistant
noticed that I was upset and took me aside to talk. His obvious concern evoked an outpouring of tears and he listened. He told me not to
worry and the tirades stopped immediately.
The supervisor merely changed tactics, doing everything he
could to compromise my performance (e.g. defining two high priorities in my position which by nature had to be accomplished simulta2
neously, fifty yards apart, and failure in either at any time would result in a write up). He wrote me a grossly exaggerated negative review and set up a "30 day improve or remove" situation.
At this point, I consulted a labor rights attorney who sadly informed me that he could not help as I was transgendered and thus
outside of all legal protection. (He loved my argument that the transgendered element of my being was secondary to, and required by, my
identity as a "femme" lesbian, but he didn't think the court would buy
it.) At his suggestion I complained to the Associate Relations Director
of Home Depot at the regional level.
The response was immediate. All action against me was halted
and a thorough in-house investigation was conducted. I had little hope
since the supervisor in question was one of the very top sales producers in the district. I have never had much faith in the fox investigating
the henhouse.
I was wrong. Home Depot stood up. That supervisor no longer
works for Home Depot and I, once again, feel safe at work.
My company honors the eight core values that we stand on and
"Respect for all Persons" includes those of us in the last free target
population. Even if it is not written on paper, "Respect" is written in
the company's heart.
Another company core value - "Take care of our own" - was
also just demonstrated in our store. A woman I'll call "C," a divorced
mother with six children whom she loves and cares for, was just told
that the home she had been renting was being sold and she would
have to move. Try finding a rental for seven. Try finding that rental at
a reasonable cost on a non-professional's wage.
Word of her need got out and an assistant manager and a department head used their network to find "C" a home. We associates
took up a collection to provide the security deposit and an extramonth's rent, and when our Corporate Headquarters in Atlanta heard
about the situation, they called and matched our contribution. Again,
Home Depot stood up.
This old anti-establishment hippie chick writes this report with
tears of joy and pride in her eyes and heart. Maybe corporate America
isn't so evil after all. At least my little comer seems to have a heart
and a brain and the courage to stand up and live by another of our
core values: "Do the right thing." Home Depot stood up.
Home Depot is a great place to shop and for my brothers and
sisters in the Rainbow Community, and it is a safe and wonderful
place to work. ©
3
I have fun with guessing games
LAVENDER REFLECTIONS by Eleanor Ruth Wagner,
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Meditations & quotations with photos & holiday entries; A
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Personally autographed by request;
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·9999999999999999999999999
GOWEN THREADS
is a worldwide network designed to end loneliness
That short-haired woman in the plaid flannel
shirt - could she be a lesbian? That man at the
gym who seems so attentive to male bodies - is
he gay? Those two women giving each other a ,
parting embrace - could it be more than friend- L
ship? There are two male "roommates" down the
hal.l - are they really lovers? What about the co-workers
who fit the stereotype - are they or aren't they?
I let myself enjoy my amateur detective status. It is one
way of reminding myself I am not alone in my same-sex orientation. .[fI didn't live in a homophobic culture where many
lesbians and gay men stay closetedfor their safety, I wouldn't have to guess. Instead, I could simply ask, as people ask
whether someone is married or what a person doesfor a living. Even if I were universally accepted in my same-sex orientation, I would still want to kn.ow whether people I meet
are potential lovers or not. Wanting people who share a comnwnality with me, I would still choose some lesbian and gay
friends,but the search would not be clandestine or di.fficult.
I look forward to the time when my games are needless,
but for now I find pleasure in wondering. Extending my antennae, I ferret out the "one in ten" (or nwre!) surrounding me.
"Whosays only thei.rhairdressers know for sure!
and isolation among midlife and older Lesbians.
tact publication
~ -. en over 50, and their
No one is exduded
GOLDEN
S, P. O. Box 1688
I
I
I
- Eleanor Ruth Wagner
Lavender Reflections
GOLDENTHREADS
is a discreet con
for Lesbian wornyounger friends.
because of her age.
l
Reminders:
Send a SASE to:
Remember to speak softly, kindly
and lovingly to yourselfl
Demorest, GA 30535-1688
Remember to go more slowly
when you feel scared or anxious!
for information and application.
e-mail - wildiris@america.net
You can love yourself no matter what
anyone else thinks or says about you!
http://america.net1~wildiris/golde.nthreads.html
Sample copy mailed discreetly $5 US and Canada
All other counn-ies $10 US funds or International
Money Order for mailing outside U S.
@5.
4
9999999999999999999999999
- Robyn Posin
Rememberings and Celebrations
www.forthelittleonesinside.com
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A "tender tale of a journey to
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GAYE.LL.OW
PAGES, informing the lesbian, gay, bisexual &
transgender community since 1973, Includes Women's Section and Etf1nic/Multicultural section "You won't find a more
complete guide covering literally all aspects of Gay and Lesbian fife" Our World
http://gayellowpages.com
RenaissanceHouse, PO Box 533 Village Station, New York,
NY 10014 (or ask at your local feminist bookstore)
Sappho'sSolutiot1S
uccessfuI Living
Dear Savvy Sappho - My girlfriend wants to redecorate my
apartment. Her apartment resembles a monastic funkadelic
subterranean grotto. I seem to favor Danish modern. Help!
- Signed, Timid
DearTimid - Wouldyou everconsidera Danishmodernmosaicfunkadelicsubterraneangrotto?If not, seek the help of a
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decorator.- SS
Dear Savvy Sappho - My sweetie has just received a job transfer to another state. I have a great job here. Should I resign and
go with her? - Signed, Stationary
DearStationary- Only if you REALLY want to go! Let lier
try out hernewjobfor a monthor two.This is a majordecision
that shouldbe thoroughlycontemplated.Looktwicebeforeyou
leap!- SS
This month's Savvy SapphicSuggestionsfor Successful
LesbianLiving by Stacy Chandler. If you have a question,
send it to SS % Makaw, PO Box 130, Tehachapi, CA 93561
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
by Stacy Chandler
PISCES
February 18-March
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20
Swath thru life's currents,
Giggle and wiggle as you go!
Delight in the wetness of the waters,
Let your magnificence show!*
BE WARNED- THE VIEWSEXPRESSEDABOVEDO NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT THE AURA OF THE COSMOS!
6
7
by Lee Lynch
I Was A Gay High School Student
A tiny article in my local paper announced that the National
Education Association has encouraged schools to adopt policies that
punish harassment and discrimination against homosexual students
and teachers. "About time," I grumbled over my breakfast muesli.
Later I tried to remember what it had been like for me in high school.
I was a Gay High School Student. Sounds like a tabloid headline, but in reality, I had a great time. It wasn't exactly a bed of roses,
but I was a tough little dyke, at least I thought so, and I thrived on the
adversity that came with being special.
At fifteen I barely knew what the word homosexual meant. At
fifteen and a half, I knew I was one. This was in 1960. Don't ask me
how I came to be so proud of being gay. I agonized over the stigma
for two weeks - and I clearly remember that it was two weeks before I embraced being gay with a convert's fervor.
Many years later I reconnected with a friend from high school
who came out as an adult. She told me that I'd always looked like I
had a wonderful secret. I had a big crush on her at the time, so I imagine she saw an eagerness on my face to share that secret. I must have
strutted along the hallways like a baby butch rooster, cruising for my
kind.
If it was that hard for me to contain my ebullience back then, I
can't imagine the challenge for gay kids these days, some of whom
may go from the high of a gay pride march on a Sunday to the downer
of an early morning math class on a Monday.
It occurs to me that non-gay teens also move in an underground
world. Sex, goth, drinking, whatever the current vices may be, drive
all young people to hide their pleasures. Was I any worse off than the
straight girl who needed birth control and feared to seek it out? Or the
young guy who couldn't speak his love for girl or boy because of raging acne on his face? It all feels the same at age fifteen.
Except straight kids had a support system. There were adults
they could choose to talk to. It was okay to be in love with someone
of the opposite sex, unrequited or not. Gay kids had no such luxury.
Proud as I was, half of me was continuously, silently defending my
life choices, my existence. The verbal slurs hurt. Standing upright
8
under a crushing load of disapproval left its scars. Energy I could
have used to write to my full potential or succeed in sports or to help
others was wasted in strategizing to survive. If just one teacher or Girl
Scout leader had reached out and said, "You're okay, kid," what a
weight would have been lifted from me.
Other than that, I didn't suffer much. I had one tormentor, a
young man who l later learned had been dealing with his own sexuality issues. He called me names and did a lot of smirking and whispering with his friends. At the time I was terrified of him. The first rule
the gay child learns is to protect her/his secret. Exposure was about
the worst thing I could imagine. Better to die silent than live in shackles, no longer able to be my gay self.
As it was, I was banned for a period of time from seeing my
girlfriend. My parents suspected ...l found out that closets are filled
with lies; telling tales became a way of life. I'd jump on my bike, ride
like a messenger on speed to a distant part of Queens for a brief spell
of bubble gum kisses and heart-to-heart laughter. We were in love but
even better, we were outlaw lovers, making out in doorways, in elevators, basements, empty subway cars. We were like Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade balloons, bigger than life, better than ordinary life,
flying above the crowds.
And completely unprotected. What a nightmare if we had been
caught. What we did was proscribed by law, by religion, by culture.
We could have been locked in jails or mental hospitals. We could
have been beaten or murdered. We could have been shunned by our
classmates, punished by our teachers. We lucked out. Other kids didn't. They were buried young - in dishonest marriages, in an avalanche of alcohol and drugs, in the ground.
What I fear for the kids whose peers and teachers get sensitivity training, is that more gay kids will dare to come out and be crucified for their trust. I fear there will be a backlash from straight kids,
that conservative parents and teachers and preachers will intensify
anti-gay training. What I hope is that by shining the light of day into
the closets of gay youth, their spirits will be stronger. It was exciting
to be defiant, but also a burden that took energy a growing mind
sorely needed elsewhere. It was intoxicating to be young and gay, but
I'll never know what acceptance would have given me.
I'm glad gay kids will know the benefits of this greater acceptance. I'm glad a few of them will be able to take their puppy loves to
the prom. I'm glad they'll be able to grow up with the kind of support
that will enable them to become the teachers and writers and leaders
we need. It's about time. ~
CopyrightLee Lynch 2002 (Do not reprint withoutpermission.)
9
~n sacr~d ground
by Joy Parks
Butch Bad Girls
No one heats up a plot like a butch bad girl. And while only the bravest femmes will admit it, it's almost impossible to resist those sneering lips, those dashing good looks and that rough and ready-for-action
butch strut. Problem is, there just aren't enough of these lusty creatures in our literature. But thankfully, there are a few lesbian writers
willing to sacrifice a little political correctness to create butch bad girl
characters that keep readers in hormonal high gear.
Drag Kings and the Wheel of Fate introduces readers to Taryn, a
young drag king performer who appears to be a cross between Elvis
Presley and k.d.. lang. The story begins when Taryn meets Rosalind, a
straight divorcee. The women effortlessly and uneventfully become
lovers and Taryn begins to introduce Rosalind to the world of butch
and femme. Improbable, sure, but it's hard to ignore the power of the
highly erotic love scenes, or not to be moved by the vision of Taryn
strutting her handsome butch appeal on stage. Drag Kings and the
Wheel of Fate would have worked as both a tender love story and a·
fairly solid coming out story had author Susan Smith resisted the urge
to create a secondary plot, a bizarre tale of witchcraft and reincarnation. This unnecessarily detracts from both the realistic relationship
explored in the book and the sensitive way in which butch identity
issues are brought to light. (Drag Kings and the Wheel of Fate, Susan
Smith, Justice House Publishing, Inc., $17 .99)
Hands down, nobody does butch-with-a-bad-attitude better than
Therese Szymanski. I'm surprised that Brett Higgins, the toughtalking femme-magnet heroine of her last five mysteries doesn't have
her own fan club. There's no other way to put it; Brett is hot and it's
tough to not be swayed by her tall, dark brooding good looks and the
sense of sexual conquest and confidence that she wears like a good
suit. And her good intentions to be faithful to her gorgeous girlfriend,
police officer Allie - no matter how many women throw themselves
at her - are truly admirable. Unsuccessful, but admirable just the
same. Admittedly, Szymanski's books are not for the fiercely politically correct or even the squeamish. In When Evil Changes Face,
Brett and Allie go underground at a high school to break up a date
rape ring. And in the soon to be published (March 30) Wizen Good
Girls Go Bad, Allie goes under cover as an exotic dancer to help Brett
find a serial killer who is targeting strippers. But it's this kind of gritty
situation that makes Brett's character shine.
It's obvious that author Szymanski understands fantasy. She
knows what makes for good escapist fiction and has a gift for giving
Brett larger than life qualities without totally removing her from reality. Despite her womanizing and criminal connections, Brett has honesty, physical charisma and a tough-talking sense of justice that are
tremendously appealing. As well as an emotional depth that one doesn't usually find in the kinds of characters that populate most serial
mysteries. And as a wonderful bonus, Szymanski's novels are frequently punctuated with exceptionaJly well-crafted, tremendously
erotic, truly lusty love scenes - as well as some subtle, but sensitively revealed insights on the dynamics of butch and femme identity.
Both When Evil Changes Face and When Good Girls Go Bad, along
with Szymanski's three earlier mysteries published by Naiad, are dramatic, sexually charged and socially relevant, rare qualities in escapist
mystery fiction. Readers looking for a real action-packed mystery will
appreciate both the courage and vivid imagination it takes to pull off
such a compelling and controversial character as Brett Higgins. (When
Evil Changes Face, Therese Szymanski, Bella Books, $11.95
When Good Girls Go Bad, Therese Szymanski, Bella Books, $11.95)
Sacred Classic: The Persistent Desire
An absolutely indispensable collection of lesbian writing, The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader is a wonderfully rich and diverse collection of writings that explores the history, challenges, identity issues and sexual dynamics of butch and femme experience. It's
an amazing sampler of stories, poetry, essays, interviews and photographs that expose and explain both the history and dynamics of butch
and femme, the concept of lesbian genders, the powerful eroticism of
butch and femme sexual diversity and the influence of roles on the
lesbian community as a whole. Edited by Joan Nestle, with writings
by essential butch and femme writers such as Radcliffe Hall, Lee
Lynch, Leslie Feinberg, Amber Hollibaugh, Cherrie Moraga, Merril
Mushroom and many others, The Persistent Desire is a proud celebration of butch and femme culture and insight. No lesbian library is
complete without it. (The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader,
Edited by Joan Nestle, Alyson Publications, original price $14.95)
Ask for these books at your
local feminist bookstore.
11
Ice Storm
Hey there. Just wanted to let you know that we're digging out
from one of the most devastating ice storms in centuries. It has been
an ordeal. I enjoy the odd storm for its humbling effect on mankindthat kind of thing - but this one wasn't funny. It went on and on this rain that fell for two days; no snow, no sleet, just gray, cold rain
that froze solid when it hit the earth. We watched in amazement then
' all
growing concern, finally sadness mixed with bouts of dread as
afternoon and into the night the massive tree branches crashed on the
roof and yard.
With each limb we'd run to a window and see how much damage was sustained. I walked around early propping up our grand old
red bud with 2x4's and rakes, scared to death as branches fell about
me. Thank goodness I did. Any limb not supported had snapped at the
trunk by morning. The center and crown of the tree are gone. Many of
the ancient cedars in the cemetery, halved. Our giant oaks in the hollow lost very old, massive branches. When they'd start to go, the
groaning and cracking from the strain could take a full 30 seconds to a
minute before the whole thing would explode.
ln the night we stood on the back porch and listened to the pop,
crack, then crashes that came from every direction. There was never a
moment when the night air wasn't filled with these tragic sounds. I
prayed for the quail and the pair of foxes that played in the backyard
just days earlier. I don't hold out much hope for any of them. It makes
me kind of wonder what spring will bring: This was supposedly a
"mild" winter.
I'm a huge fan of storms. Around here we pull up lawn chairs
and pop corn and watch like it's the SuperBowl. It's better than watching figure skaters falling at the Olympics. We claw the arms of our
lawn chairs and dig our nails into the cheap plastic. Lightning strikes
close by and we practically topple over backwards in a race to get
inside. All in good fun, but this spring I'm feeling some apprehension
for the first time. Maybe we've always been just lucky. Ever get that
feeling? I've been getting that feeling lately.
Perhaps it's time for medication. It seems like every other person I meet is "on" something. What is it about America? Why so
much Prozac, Xanax, Zoloft? What's the problem with a little anxiety? We ought to be anxious. Now is NOT the time to medicate. I
think it's very clever how corporate America has taken over our coun12
try, and while it prepares to deregulate and gain control of absolutely
every aspect of our life, it pushes anti-anxiety drugs like hot dogs at a
baseball game.
"Here now. Worried about your 401K? Here's some Xanax.
Trust me. Worried about money? Here's a credit card. Hate your life?
Here's a Paxil. Go lie down, watch some t.v. We'B mind the store.
Relax. Trust me."
I'm telling you anxiety gets your teeth brushed and your bills
paid, keeps the underwear changed. It gets the yard mowed and the
trees propped up. Nervous tension makes you run inside when the
lightning strikes too close to the lawn chair. Irritability rids a home of
dull people, pesky relatives.
Just as "pins and needles" will eventually make you remove a
deadened foot from under your couch potato bottom, anxiety could
actually be a wake up call to raise one's head from the sand. It might
actually be important to not feel content these days. When the thunderbolts are whizzing past your ears, it might be wise to make a move.
© Les McGirl2002
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
Family Pride Director to Receive Genny Award
Family Pride Coalition Executive Director Aimee Gelnaw has
been named one of the recipients of the "Genny" Awards from "My
Generation" magazine, a publication of the American Association of
Retired Persons (AARP).
Under the category of "The New Mainstream," Gelnaw and her
partner, Margie Brickley, are being recognized as openly lesbian parent activists. They will be honored at a gala event in New York City
in March. Other honorees include Mohamed Ali, Phil Donahue, U.S.
Representative John Lewis, Senator Max Cleland, Billie Jean King,
Julia Child and other individuals and innovations of the past halfcentury.
"I am very proud to represent the LGBT parenting community
in the company of such pioneering individuals," said Gelnaw. "All of
our families are honored by the inclusion of LGBT parents as an integral part of our national landscape."
Family Pride Coalition works to advance the well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents and their families. !!,,
To-lo-ve,,what" yo-w do- Ml.d,feel, tnat-a;-mct-tte-v.\-'how could,,~
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- Kcxther[N\,e,
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13
Statement from the DNC
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HAPPILYEVERAFTER
Subscriptions:$10-20 a year (12 issues)
Contributorsreceivefree subscriptions.
Unsolicitedcontributionsare welcomebut be sure to include
a self-addressedstamped envelopeif you want your
material returned;all rights are returned to creator.
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Special bonus:autographed by the author!
14
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© 2002 All Rights Reserved
For permissionto reprint or use any of the content, contact:
Mel White, PO Box 130, Tehachapi,California 93561
morningland@msn.com
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Mel White/MAKAWPress, owner/publisher
A11tlto1'ized
m;theDemocratic
NationalCommittee.
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
OK
M 001 111 516
[
Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chairman
Terry McAuliffe released the following statement today urging the Congress to act quickly and pass the Employment
Non-Discri111:inationAct (ENDA) following hearings this
week in the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions
Committee:
"We applaud the Democratic leadership in the Senate
for their ongoing commitment to this important legislation
and continued dedication to fairness in the workplace. We
call on the Republican House leadership to join them in this
effort and to swiftly pass the Employment Non Discrimination Act.
"ENDA would provide basic federal protections against
discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace
and finally afford gay and lesbian Americans the same rights
as every working American citizen. Democrats believe fundamentally in fairness for every working American. We urge
President Bush to show real leadership for working Americans and pledge to sign ENDA into law."
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PO 'Bo,c,130
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CA 93561
Addresscorrectionrequested
HERLAND (PE02-12)
HERLAND
2312 NW 39TH
OKLAHOMA CITY OK 73112