HerlandVoice-2000-10-v18-no10_ocr.pdf
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October, 2000
FALL
RETREA Tl
We are all excited because it's time for the Fall Retreat
and for this year we don't have to worry about the weather
or bum ban. The rustic campground at Osage Hills State
Park has installed heat and air in all the cabins and there are
two fireplaces in the main building.
Herland is premiering a new T-shirt, and with your preregistration is a $3 .00 off coupon toward purchase of the
shirt. As you know, pre-registering helps us and saves you
money, but we don' t mind collecting that extra on-site fee.
(see inside this Voice for a registration form) . Be aware of
our accessibility accommodations if you can pay a little extra
to sponsor a scholarship, please indicate so on the registration form. And never let cost be a reason to not attend - our
sliding scale is for women who fit in 1hose categories. Ifvou need
a scholarship, don't hesitate to register. (continued inside)
THE HERLAND LEGAL DEFENSE
FUND: A WoRKIN PROGRESS
In 1992, Herland was presented with a request for
financial support from a lesbian mother who had lost custody
of her two children as a result of the mother's sexual
orientation. Herland rose to the defense of this individual
creating the Herland Legal Defense Fund (HLDF). The
HLDF, a group of dedicated volunteers committed to this
cause, began a successful fund-raising campaign.
Many of you will remember the HLDF activities to raise
funds. . The most memorable, no doubt, was the Cris
Williamsonff ret Frue concert at the OKC Civic Center.
However, the concert was just a small part of the overall
fundraising effort. There was also a cookbook published of
recipes submitted by the OKC lesbian and gay community.
Sales of that publication were kicked off with a recipe tasting
party held atthe Porthole. The HLDF also did a major mailing
campaign that brought in funds from across the country.
Countless community organizations and musicians contributed their time and talents hosting fund-raising events or
performing at open-mies. Through their efforts, substantial
contributions to the HLDF were generated. The overwhelming support and response of the OKC lesbian/gay community
to this cause was greatly appreciated and stands as a testament that we were able to work together as a community
toward an end to discrimination against lesbian/gay parents in
the courtroom. (continued inside)
Volume 18Number10
Herland Sister Resources
LESBIANS AT RISK
Did you know that many lesbians have a higher than
average risk for breast cancer? It's true. Women who have
never had children are more likely to develop breast cancer
than those who have. It has to do with exposure to the
estrogen a woman' s own body makes. Although estrogen
has many benefits for a woman, such as protecting her from
bone loss, it also promotes the growth of certain types of
cancers.
The incidence ofbreast cancer in the U.S. is on the rise,
perhaps due to environmental factors, but almost certainly
related to diet. But, at the same time, the survival rate for
women with breast cancer is improving tremendously. This
is due to earlier detection and improved treatments.
Regular mammograms and manual breast exam are two
of the best ways to improve your chances of catching a
cancer early and decrease the treatment needed. Many
women are afraid to get mammograms, afraid of the procedure, and afraid of the possible detection of cancer. But, the
stigma and fear of breast cancer are being reduced by public
awareness events such as the Race for the Cure.
Join women across the country in recognizing October as
Breast Cancer Awareness month by talking about it with
your friends, neighbors, and relatives. And visit our website
at \vww.herlandsisters.org to read more about the experiences of women in your community who have had breast
cancer.
0
1--·-- ·------·- - ----·- - -·-·-·-·----·------·--·-----..- --··- ·----··1
l.
l
October Events
I
Her/and Board Meeting -- October 8 4: 30 p.m.· 1
I
j Her/and Fall Retreat -- October 13-15, Osage
! Hills State Park
!i Her/and Supper Club -- October 21
Meet at
i
Her/and at 5: 30 P.M
1
Women's WholisticHealth Forum-October
!
I
! 219 A.M - 4 P.M First Unitarian Church, 500 NW
! 13, OKC, OK contact Dr. Denise Hall, coordinator
I
, 405-232-9224 or 405-210-4838
I
!..••,..-. ... - ·•··-· ·· -- ' •·•-• ••• W"•• · -
I
-
._, _ , ••M" ·· -
www.herlandsisters.org
-
'••<- •• •-· ... -
· ' • ·· - · - - · ·· - - '••<-
• · · - · ·· -
- ' • ·• -
· • • •"• · · - - '•" - ' ' ••• ., ,. _
_
2312 N.W. 39, OKC, OK 73112
.J
SAINT SYBIL
Sybil Ludington, Matron Saint of the Forgotten Woman, is an
occasional contributor to this space.
Dear St. Sybil,
Help me, please. Is there really such a thing as a
Feminazi, and if so, is she me? Am I her? I can'ttell ifl have
stepped over the line here in my reaction to this thing that
happened. Here's the scenario. A group of us were having
lunch after a small but powerful demonstration. We were all
feeling good and uplifted and pleased with ourselves and
each other and our righteous cause. Aman I didn't know had
joined us. He seemed like a nice guy, and he was a good
friend t>f a good friend of mine, so I was in a mood to cut him
some slack and be pleasant. He was supposedly a longtime
"liberal", and speaking of some pseudo-liberal organization
he paused and said - "Well, I won't call it what it really is in
mixed company."
Well. What I wished I'd said: Would you like me to
leave? Would You Like Me To Leave So You Can Speak
Freely???
What I did say: Nothing. Would you have spoken up
and called him on it and spoiled the glow of solidarity around
the table? I wish now that I had, but I am truly cursed with
the twin paralyzing attributes of wanting to keep the peace
and artificial good manners.
I don't want to appear like a Feminist With No Sense of
Humor or a Wimmin's Libber with No Respect for Courtesies - although I am very much both of those animals - but
give me a break... . I had just spent an hour outside in I 04
degree weather in my best bib-and-tucker, sweating like a
pig, in support of human decency; and this "fellow activist",
this guy with a total lack of real progressive consciousness,
chose to make me feel excluded and diminished. I know, I
know, no one can make you feel small without your permission, but I had a choice of picking a fight or sulking in quiet,
so I sulked.
What's that you say, he might be cursed with terminal
good manners himself and couldn't help himself? No, that
doesn't wash. Good manners would have automatically
substituted a socially-acceptable word for whatever vulgarity he wanted to use-people do it all the time without skipping
a beat. I frequently use language that would make a sailor
blush, but you can bet that when I'm sitting in a Board
meeting at work, not only is my language delicate and refined,
I never feel the need to indicate to my boss that it would be
earthier if only he weren't around.
So, Syb, help me, what do I do next time this happens?
Frankly, Confused
Frankly, my dear one, when you are up against a passive
aggressive pro like that, there's almost nothing you can say
or do that won't leave you looking like the bad guy. Look
what he managed to get on the table in one little phrase: a.
he's got a vivid earthy vocabulary; b. he's a real man's man,
and c. you're not; you and your gender aren't quite full
players at the table of real life; and d. that organization he
was speaking about are real scumbags, but you can't quote
him on it because he didn't really say it, did he?.
Your best chance to get a little of your own back is to lie
low and wait for a tum in the conversation, and drop a little
bon mot of your own, something along the line of "that
#*!%!#governor - oh sorry, I know you don't like language
like that"; or, maybe steer the conversation to reproductive
rights long enough to propound that vasectomies at birth is
the only just way to eliminate the abortion debate for
good ..... I promise you he won't like the idea, - despite the
fact that it's a good one.
And no, there is no such thing as a feminazi. There are,
happily, such things as feminists with highly-tuned bull*#*!
detectors; and you're one.
Hang tough, and keep the faith,
Sybil
D
FALL RETREAT (continuedfrompg.1)
One way we are able to keep your fees so low is the
communal environment created at Herland's retreats. Everyone no matter of status is responsible for making these
retreats so much fun for so many years. This means signing
up for work duties- help in the kitchen is the greatest need
as this is a lot of work unless it is shared. Please take a full
trash bag to the dumpster, put up T.P., read a book while
helping people with purchases for an hour or two, or clean up
around the camp fire. The Herland Retreat becomes a
community when for a brief time we share our diversity in
peace and harmony.
We are excited to bring "Wishing Chair" back to Oklahoma for your entertainment. They will also be doing a
workshop on Harmony Singing and providing music by the
fire.
Sandy will be doing her highly acclaimed Financial
Planning workshop-- come and see how you can retire at 50!
Julie will be helping us observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month with an informative workshop on domestic
violence issues.
Remember to bring a covered dish for the pot luck on
Saturday evening and an instrument for open mic Saturday
afternoon.
Invite a friend and if you have questions, call Herland at
521-9696 or Laura, camp director, at 943-4070. We look
forward to seeing you there.
a
Page 2 Herland Voice October. 2000
DEFENSE FUND
(continued from pg. 1)
In the end, the loss of custody experienced by this
mother was overturned by the Oklahoma Supreme Court in
July of 1995. Fox v. Fox set a resounding legal precedent
in the State of Oklahoma to protect lesbian/gay parents
against discrimination in child custody cases. Sexual orientation can no longer be used to automatically deny a parent
the right to raise her children. Fox v. Fox has been used on
numerous occasions to successfully thwart attempts to take
children away from their lesbian/gay parent. For their
efforts in support of Fox v. Fox, Herland Sister Resources
was recognized by the ACLU of Oklahoma with their 1997
Human Rights Award.
Although HLDF has been less visible since the ruling of
Fox v. Fox, efforts continue to ensure that the communitv is
aware of their legal protection in child custody cases. "on
numerous occasions, legal documentation has been provided
to attorneys and parents seeking protection. Although, the
focus of the HLDF has been one of education over the past
few years, we are still committed to providing financial
support to cases that \viii protect or strengthen the ruling in
Fox v. Fox.
The HLDF is now gearing up to produce educational
materials for the community to raise awareness of the legal
protection available and to provide financial assistance for a
case currently on appeal. We are seeking members of the
community to serve on the HLDF committee and ask that
you consider joining use. In the months ahead, we \\ill be
focusing our efforts towards fund-raising activities and
designing educational materials for distribution to community organizations. If you would like to serve on the
committee, host a fund-raising activity, or volunteer, your
help will be greatly appreciated. If interested, please call
Margaret Cox at 842-3206 at or email dfox@ou.edu. 0
TRET FURE IN OKC
Imagine sitting in your living room enjoying the intimate
experience of hearing some of the best acoustic guitar music
from a nationally known female musician from the women's
community?
Surprise .... you have such an opportunity at your fingertips on November 1, 2000 when Tret Fure will perform live in
Oklahoma City. This house concert is your chance to hear
Tret perform some old familiar tunes as well as new material
to be released on her upcoming solo acoustic CD.
Many of you \\ill remember Tret' s previous work on such
albums as Postcards From Paradise, Between the Covers
and Radio Quiet produced and performed with Cris Williamson.
Tret has also recorded with Spencer Davis and opened for
Yes, Poco and The J Geils Band.
So come enjoy the intimate setting of an up close musical
evening with Tret on Wednesday, November 1,2000, at 7 p.
m. at 226 NW 22nd Street. Tickets are $15. 00 in advance and
available by calling Helen Holgate at 942-3267 or Anthea
Matan at 528-2355.
Please secure your seats early as seating is limited. Also
check
Herland
Sister
Resources
Website
(www.herlandsisters.org) for other updated information. See
you at the concert!
a
Dear Friends,
The Her/and Oral History Project has gotten offto a nice start.
We have interviewed three people to date, and hope to meet more
ofyou so we can learn more about "where we have been and where
we are going. "
Oral history is an enterprise that requires contact and identification.
The interviewer contacts people who can answer her questions, and she
identi.fiesstrandsojhistorythatarerevealedfromthestoriesofinterviewees.
Oral history puts aface and a name on history. It is the people history.
Her/and wants to know its history. This is to be the organization s
vital and vibrant .story. That's why the project was conceived I am
volunteering n~y professional energies to help that history along.
Some of you have raised a valid, important concern;
confidentiality. Confidentiality is very important to our community,
for any number ofreasons. It is something that encourages respect
within ourselves and the community.
Her/and honors all requests for confidentiality in the Oral
History Project. Everyone who is interviewed is asked to fill out a
release fonn saying that she knows she is being interviewed for a
research and educational project. Included in the release is a space
where the interviewee can make restrictions on the use of the
infonnation from the interviews. If desired, the interviewer and
interviewee will decide together on a pseudonym to be used in the
interview transcripts.
Ifyou have any questions or concerns about the Her/and Oral
History Project, let us know. Contact any board member (5219696) or feel free to call me (945-0867).
Jan Rosenberg
s
WWW.HERLANDSISTERS.ORG
Herland Board of Directors:
Laura Choate
Joanna Fife, Secretary
Jacqueline Gatewood
DTH
Ginger McGovern, Treasurer
Pat Reaves, Co-Chair
Jerri Schaben
Denise Smith
Judy Walden
The Voice is published by: Herfand Sister Resources, Inc. 2312
N. W. 39th, Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
The Voice is offered as an
open forum for community discourse. Articles reflect the opinions
of the author and not necessarily those of Herfand Sister Resources.
Unsolicited articles and letters to the editor are welcomed and must
be signed by the writer with full name and address. Upon request,
letters or articles may be printed under a pseudonym or anonymously.. S~bscriptions to The Voice are free upon request although
a donation 1s requested to meet publication and distribution costs.
Her/and Voice October. 2000 Page 3
HERLAND FALL RETREAT
OCTOBER
13 - 15,
OSAGE HILLS STATE PARK
Single Person's
Annual Income
Please choose the registration amount most appropriate
for you. On-site registration will be $65. Deadline for preregistration is October 9 and registration is non-refundable
Suggested
Pre-registration
per person
Household Annual
Income
under $6,500
$15
under $13,300
$6,500 - $13,250
$25
$13,300 - $18,000
$13,250 - $19,500
$35
$18,000 - $26,000
$19,500 - $30,000
$45
$26,000 - $50,000
over $30,000
$60
over $50,000
Registration fee enclosed (payable to Herland): _ $15 _$25 _$35 _$45 _$60
_Saturday only Registration $25
Address: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _City _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _State_ _Zip_ _ __
__ I need a scholarship to attend.
__ I'm enclosing and additional $_ _ _ to help provide scholarships.
__ I'm bringing __ children (girls of all ages and boys under 10 are welcome)
Herland Sister Resources
2312 N.W. 39
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Oklahoma City, OK
Permit No. 861
Address Service Requested
Thanks, Chas, for the great new Berland t-shirt design!
Support our
Supporters
!VERTIGO!
"Clothingfor vry lifestyle."
on the web at
www.geocities.com/ vertigowear/
REBECCA R. HOLT, Ph.D.
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY
321-2148
P.0. Box5119
Nonnan, Okla. 73070
Individual - Couples
Family Therapy, Retreats